It’s a new day and a new season for Monday Night Raw!
The Ravishing Russian has the opportunity of a lifetime! Will Lana become a champion? Or will she NEVER be ready for Asuka?!
- 8 Man Tag: The Hurt Business VS Retribution; The Hurt Business wins.
- AJ Styles w/ Jordan Omogbehin VS Matt Riddle; Styles wins.
- Raw Women’s Championship: Asuka VS Lana; Asuka wins and retains the title.
- Women’s Fatal 4 Way Tag: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler VS Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke VS Peyton Royce & Lacey Evans VS The Riott Squad; Jax & Baszler wins.
- Kofi Kingston w/ Xavier Woods VS Sheamus; Kofi wins.
- The Miz & John Morrison VS Tucker Knight & ???; Tucker & “El Grand Gordo” win.
- Keith Lee VS Braun Strowman; Strowman wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
The Fiend is here?!
No, it’s ALEXA BLISS! “Monday Night Raw. He’s heeere~!” #LetHimIn. NOW The Fiend arrives! He and his Bray Wyatt head lantern creep to the ring for the first time on USA Network! Alexa stands still like a statue, even as he gets in the ring. Then when he offers, she takes his hand. But what is this?! Retribution!? They’re hijacking Friend’s hijacking of Raw! Mustafa Ali leads “T-Bar” Dijakovic, “Mace” Maddin, “Slapjack” Thorne and “Reckoning” Mia Yim to the ring and they surround Fiend and Alexa! But neither Fiend or Alexa has moved? Do they not even register that these five are here? Mustafa raises his right hand, and the lights go out! But under whose power? When the lights come back, Fiend and Alexa are gone! It seems we know who really has power here.
But now, here comes the Hurt Business! MVP, Cedric Alexander, Bobby Lashley and Shelton Benjamin want to finally settle things with Ali and his cohorts! Reckoning Yim moves aside so the boy scan brawl! T-Bar gets dumped out, then Mace and Slapjack! Alexander throws Ali out onto his men, and then FLIES onto them all! They were going to have an 8 Man Tag some time tonight, now that time is after the break!
Get ready for Monday Night Bruh!
Matt Riddle is chill, but he can go from bro-down to throw down with the flip of a switch! And he’ll do it all without wearing shoes! Will the Bro soon run this show? Or will AJ Styles still be the Face that Runs the Place? Their rematch from SmackDown a long time coming is going to be part of Raw’s season premiere!
8 Man Tag: The Hurt Business VS Retribution!
At one point, the Heart and Soul of 205 Live were thick as thieves. But the Age of Alexander has grown up and the Beacon of Light is on a darker path. Will Alexander and his new business associates stop Ali and his rogues from running roughshod over Raw?
Ali tells T-Bar to go after Lashley but Lashley is the one throwing hands at the bell! Lashley whips and runs T-Bar over! Then runs corner to corner to clothesline hard! Lashley throws haymakers and elbows but the ref counts. Lashley lets off, comes back but T-Bar BOOTS! And CLUBS Lashley! Retribution is fired up but Lashley gets T-Bar for a COMPLETE SHOT! Tag to Slapjack but Lashley kicks and clubs him down! Lashley brings Slapjack up for a stalling suplex, a count of 10, and a SLAM! Hurt Business is fired up and Alexander tags in to Penalty Kick Slapjack! Alexander clubs Slapjack, Slapjack forearms back! Slapjack suplexes but Alexander counters to a GOURD BUSTER and BOOT! Cover, TWO!
Alexander glares at Ali as he brings slapjack up. Tag to MVP and MVP throws hands on Slapjack. MVP stomps a mudhole, argues the count with the ref, then brings Slapjack up to whip back into buckles HARD! Cover, TWO! MVP keeps Slapjack contained, then tags Alexander back in. They mug Slapjack with forearms to the back, then Alexander brings him up to bump him off buckles. Alexander ENZIGURIS hard then grinds forearm’s in. The ref counts, Alexander lets off to forearm Slapjack down! Slapjack flops through ropes, T-Bar and Mace go over and bark, but Alexander puts Slapjack in the drop zone. Alexander goes up, T-Bar talks smack. Slapjack SHORYUKENS and SUPER ARM-DRAGS!
Hot tag to Ali and he DROPKICKS the bad arm! Ali drags Alexander around, stands on the arm then stomps it! Alexander goes to a corner but Ali snapmares him to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Alexander survives, Ali drags him up and Ali wrenches on the arm. Alexander pushes Ali away and ROCKS him with that right! Alexander runs in, Ali puts him on the apron but Alexander rocks him again! Alexander jumps up but Ali trips the springboard up! Alexander hits buckles on the way down, then Ali grinds his heels into him! the ref counts, Ali stops and Alexander flops out of the ring. Ali slips out to THROW Alexander into the barriers! The rest of Hurt Business go to reinforce Alexander, Retribution meets them, but THE FIEND is on screen! Bray Wyatt’s nightmares watch these eight as Raw goes to break.
Raw returns as Shelton Benjamin and Dio “Mace” Maddin are in the ring and brawling! Benjamin gets the edge but Mace hits back! Benjamin knees low, Mace uppercuts back and knees. Mace pushes Benjamin to a corner, fires off more hands then runs to come back, only for Benjamin to POST him! Benjamin GERMAN SUPLEXES Mace to the other corner! Then runs in for the step-up KNEE! Mace flops down, Benjamin covers, TWO! Benjamin tries again, TWO! Benjamin runs to drop a knee! Benjamin has Mace in a chinlock, even using his dreadlocks against him. Mace fights up but is in the Hurt Business corner. Benjamin fires off forearms, tags Lashley and Lashley brings Mace out for haymakers. Lashley whips, Mace kicks back! Lashley roars and clotheslines Mace out!
Lashley blows up the Retribution corner and Mace gets in, for the ROKCY MOUNTAIN SPINE BUSTER! T-Bar runs in, Lashley goes up and around to SPEAR! Cover, Ali breaks it! Ali asks Lashley show mercy but T-Bar gets Lashley in a waistlock! Mace gets Ali out as Lashley standing switches. T-Bar throws elbows but Lashley turns those into the HURT LOCK!! T-Bar taps, Hurt Business wins!!
Winners: The Hurt Business, by submission
But then The Fiend returns!! He’s standing among Retribution, and SHOVES Ali down! And CLOBBERS Mace! Slapjack takes SISTER ABIGAIL! Mace is given an URENAGE to the announce desk! The Fiend targets Ali but Ali runs, only to get caught! T-Bar BOOTS Fiend, choke grips, but Fiend MANDIBLE CLAWS! And SISTER ABIGAILS! The Fiend lay waste to the rogues, and then he looks at the Hurt Business. Alexa is on screen now! “Let me in.” SHE SPOKE WITH BRAY’S VOICE!! What is going to happen to Monday Night Raw?!
AJ Styles w/ Jordan Omogbehin VS Matt Riddle!
This match was BRO-NOMENAL on SmackDown, but the Face that Runs the Place now has HUGE back-up! Shane McMahon’s buddy and bouncer is now accompanying Styles to the ring! Will Jordan be a big difference in this rematch with Riddle?
Styles says “I’ve got to give credit where credit is due.” Finally, they drafted a true leader. A true leader in A, J, Styles. Seth Rollins’ messiah complex where he was preaching and spewing prophecy and propaganda, Styles can only assume it was Jeff Hardy “stumbling out to the ring, screwing something else up,” Rollins was going to claim the promised land. But the real redemption of Raw was the return of the prodigal superstar, AJ Styles. Styles beat Hardy, he beat Rollins, at the same time! It further proved this was never Monday Night Rollins. When Styles beats Riddle tonight, Styles will shepherd Raw into a brighter future. This is more than a season premiere, this is a new era! A new era that belongs to the Face that Runs the Place, AJ Styles! But here comes Riddle to respond with action! Will the Bro show Styles he’s got it all wrong?
The ref asks Jordan to move from the ring but Jordan refuses. The ref asks Styles to ask Jordan to leave the ring. Styles isn’t going to do that, either. But the match has started. If Jordan doesn’t get out before five, Styles is disqualified. The ref starts counting, but Jordan stops him!? Jordan puts the ref’s hand down, but the ref asks one last time that he leave. He’s just doing his job, okay? Styles says it’s up to Jordan. Jordan finally does exit the ring, Styles and Riddle finally circle, and Styles kicks low and throws haymakers and CHOPS! Riddle dodges to KICK and KICK and KICK! Styles falls down hard but Riddle drags him from the ropes.
Riddle goes after him with more strikes but Styles gets the ropes. Riddle lets off but Styles throws a sucker punch! So Riddle throws Styles! And again! Riddle still holds on for a THIRD gut wrench suplex! Styles gets up but Riddle clotheslines him out, in front of Jordan! Riddle goes to the apron, but Jordan stands in his way! Riddle bails out of his Penalty Kick before running into that wall, and Raw goes to break!
Raw returns and Styles whips Riddle to kitchen sink knee him down! Riddle goes to a corner but Styles is on him with stomping! Styles drags Riddle up, snapmares him and wraps on with a rear bearhug. Riddle endures and fights up, only for Styles to shift to a chinlock. Riddle fights out and fireman’s carries but Styles fights out of that! Riddle spins out of a kick to PELE Styles down! Both men go to opposite ends as fans rally on their screens. Riddle runs to forearm smash, then go side to side for another! And then BROSPLDER! Styles sits up but ducks the Penalty Kick, and the moonsault, and he BOOTS the Broton away! Riddle is down but so is Styles, and fans clap on screen. Styles brings Riddle up, Riddle fires off a strike fest but Styles responds with his! Only to turn into FINAL FLASH!
Riddle dead lifts but Styles PELES back! Riddle stays up!! And DEAD LIFT GERMANS! Riddle brings Styles up but Styles fireman’s carries to USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO!! Riddle lives and Styles can’t believe it! Styles gets to the rope, drags himself up and hobbles back over to Riddle. Styles drags Riddle up and reels him in, but Riddle resists the Clash! Styles clubs, lifts, Riddle flips out to FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cradle for a cover, TWO!! Styles survives and Riddle is furious! Riddle gets up, drags Styles to a drop zone, and goes up top. Styles trips Riddle up! Styles gets up behind Riddle, brings him up, but Riddle fights back! Riddle sends Styles down, adjusts, but Styles is up and throws haymakers! Styles and Riddle brawl as Styles climbs, Riddle and Styles both fall!! Styles is in the ring, Riddle is outside.
The ring count climbs as Jordan walks over. Riddle is wary of Jordan as he balls up that fist, and he gets in at 6. Styles ENZIGURIS! And STYLES CLASH!! Cover, Styles wins!!
Winner: AJ Styles, by pinfall
Give a literally big assist to Jordan Omogbehin! Will Jordan continue to give Styles a huge advantage in his matches from now on?
Backstage interview with Drew McIntyre!
The WWE World Champion knows he has a “tall task” defending the title in his very first Hell in a Cell match, against a seasoned veteran of the Cell in Randy Orton. How much does this difference in experience play? McIntyre asks he take this over and address Orton directly. Charly obliges and hands over the mic. “Randy, from the first moment I met you when I was 20 years old, throughout my entire career, especially these past few months, it was always obvious to me.” Orton is the most evil and entitled entity in the WWE. But he’s also very intelligent. When McIntyre slammed the door closed and won the match, he should’ve left Orton behind. But Orton saw McIntyre celebrate with four legends he respects, and attacked them. McIntyre sees it was a calculated maneuver because he knew McIntyre would get angry. Orton challenged McIntyre to HIAC and McIntyre accepted.
But McIntyre sees the bigger picture. HIAC is custom built to injure. IT is a last resort. Those with darkness in them thrive in that environment. Orton has had success in them while McIntyre has had ZERO! Against anyone else, this would be a huge advantage. But McIntyre isn’t any superstar, is he? McIntyre defended the title with the honor and respect it deserves! This Sunday, there will be no honor or respect because Orton doesn’t deserve it! McIntyre has been through hell and will put Orton through hell to remain champion! Someone asked why he looks like he’s going to a funeral. Maybe he is. Orton has an interview later, so don’t be surprised if McIntyre shows up.
Raw Women’s Championship: Asuka VS Lana!
Speaking of a tall task, the Ravishing Russian managed to rebound from a rough tag team defeat, and managed to snatch a victory from defeat in a battle royal, and now she’s challenging The Empress of Tomorrow! But Asuka has almost always been dominant in her WWE career. Will that continue even against the spirited determination of Lana?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and this battle of dominant champion and “influencer” underdog begins!
Lana and Asuka circle, tie up and Asuka headlocks. Asuka grinds Lana down, Lana stays up and powers out but Asuka runs her over! Asuka speeds things up but Lana hurdles, only for Asuka to shove her. Asuka dances, Lana gets mad but she runs only for Asuka to side-step. But Lana turns the pop-up into a takedown, only for Asuka to make it a pin! ONE, Asuka wants her lock but Lana gets ropes! The ref counts, Asuka lets off fast and things reset. Lana and Asuka circle again, approach with a knuckle lock, but Lana kicks! Asuka ducks a kick, jumps the sweep, but Lana ducks a kick to roll Asuka! TWO, Asuka’s back hand misses and Lana kicks legs out! Lana kicks and kicks then covers, TWO!
Lana hurries to bring Asuka back up and bumps Asuka off buckles! Lana stomps a mudhole but Asuka shoves her away. Asuka back elbows hard, then ROUNDHOUSES! Lana is in a daze as she crawls away. Asuka hurries after but Lana throws the first forearm! Asuka forearms back, blocks a kick and gets around but Lana resists the waistlock. Lana elbows, Asuka gets the arm! Lana switches, rolls up, TWO! Asuka drags Lana in, ASUKA LOCK!! Lana reaches, but she still taps, Asuka wins!!
Winner: Asuka, by submission (still Raw Women’s Champion)
But here comes Nia Jax?! From the BACK! Nia CLOBBERS Asuka, but Shayna’s here, too! Shayna drags Lana up and holds her down while Nia clears off the desk! Not again!! They drag Lana out of the ring and Nia slaps her around while mocking her. Nia fireman’s carries, to SAMOAN DROP her through the desk! The FIFTH time in a MONTH! Shayna gets Asuka up but Asuka fights free and MULE KICKS! Asuka hip attacks Shayna out of the ring! The WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions regroup while the Raw Women’s Champion gets away! Will either of the predators catch Asuka as their prey? Or are even their powers combined NOT READY for Asuka?
Raw returns and Nia and Shayna are still in the ring.
The tag champs have mics, and Nia starts with, “To Lana, or anyone who thinks that Shayna and I are not on the same page, or we’re not a real team because we don’t braid each other’s hair on the weekend or follow each other on Instagram… You know what I see when I watch that replay? What’s the word I’m looking for? That’s it: teamwork!” Shayna would’ve said dominance. Teamwork is said by the tag titles. But it doesn’t matter how you say it, it’s what you do. And week after week, they’ve both come out here and dominated! They own the Women’s Tag Team Titles, which means they own the Raw AND SmackDown Women’s Divisions! And if anyone wants to refute that, they dare you to do something about it!
Here come Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke! Asuka’s #SexyMuscleFriends are not scared of the Queen of Spades or Irresistible Force! But it seems neither is Lacey Evans, because she’s following right behind! As is the Venus Flytrap, Peyton Royce! The champs want to know what the heck this is about! Peyton and Lacey are an even more dysfunctional duo than the champs as they keep pushing each other out of the center of the shot and whatever else. But wait! The Riott Squad is coming out?! They’re now on SmackDown, but these are floating titles! Their “farewell” to Raw could be a win over their rivals! Will Nia and Shayna regret throwing out the challenge having to face three teams at once?
Women’s Fatal 4 Way Tag: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler VS Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke VS Peyton Royce & Lacey Evans VS The Riott Squad!
In this kind of Fatal 4 Way Tag, only two teams are legal at a time, so the champs stand down, as do Lacey and Peyton. Dana starts with Ruby and they tie up. Dana rolls Ruby, Shayna breaks it up fast. Shayna and Nia get in now and start talking trash with Ruby and Dana. IT turns into a brawl, and the other teams get in! The champs are outnumbered but they still fight the rest off! The ref tries to sort things out but the Squad DOUBLE ENZIGURI the champs! Then the #SexyMuscleFriends double baseball slide! They go after the champs with fists, but Peyton LEAPS onto all four! Lacey sees she has a shot, she slingshots and MOONSAULTS onto them all! The Squad is still in the ring, but not for long! They’re on opposite corners, DOUBLE CROSSBODIES! The Squad stands tall and fans cheer on their screens as Raw goes to break!
Raw returns and Liv scoops Peyton but Peyton slips out. Peyton throws forearms then drags Liv over. Lacey won’t tag to Peyton clubs Liv down. Peyton tags Lacey in with attitude, and the two mug Liv. Lacey snapmares “nasty” Live and reels her in for a lift, but Liv huricanranas out! Liv runs in to body block Lacey in a corner and Ruby tags in! Ruby snapmares and covers, TWO! Ruby keeps on Lacey but Lacey pushes her back and trips her up to punch her in the stomach! Lacey rolls Ruby, runs but Mandy tags in! Nia tags in off Ruby while Lacey and Mandy argue! Nia and Mandy tie up, Mandy fires off forearms but Nia scoops! Mandy slips off, Dana tags in, and the #SexyMuscleFriends try to double suplex! Nia is too big and strong, she DOUBLE SUPLEXES them!
Mandy and Dana crawl while Nia rises. Nia runs in at them but Dana and Mandy dodges, Nia POSTS herself! Dana runs back in, handspring back elbow! Mandy tags in, she stomps Nia then double clotheslines Peyton and Lacey! KNEE FROM A ROSE! Tag to Dana while Mandy BLASTS the Squad! Dana is up, SWANTON BOMB! Cover, but Shayna breaks it! Shayna stalks Dana but turns around into a KNEE FROM A ROSE! Peyton HEEL KICKS Mandy down! Ruby gives Peyton an STO! WOMAN’S RIGHT from Lacey! Dana throws Lacey, goes after Nia, but Nia shoves! Liv tags in to dropkick a leg out! Liv fires off on Nia, then runs, to shotgun dropkick! Lacey tags in but runs into a drop toehold! Liv goes up, STOMPS Lacey down and Ruby tags in!
Ruby drags Lacey up, Liv adds on, LIV BREAKER to RIOTT KICK! Cover, Shayna drags Ruby off just in time! And into a KIRAFUDA KLUTCH! Nia tags in off Ruby, stalks after Lacey, SAMOAN DROP! Cover, the champs win!
Winners: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler, by pinfall
This wasn’t for the title but it still shows where the champs stand in the food chain! Will these two hold onto their gold while still hunting after Asuka’s?
Ladies and gentlemen: Elias.
The Drifter has an entire band accompanying him for once as he asks us one question: Who wants to Walk With Elias?! The ThunderDome seems torn. But this being the season premiere, what better way to do it than to give us all something we’ve been dying for in a live concert! Elias’ new album, Universal Truth, drops next Monday, and it is called that because there is a universal truth we all know: WWE stands for WALK WITH ELIAS! Now, Elias will kick this off with a medley from the new album, starting with “Amen.” Jeff Hardy better be listening. Hit it!
“How many times they gonna kill me? Try to put me in the grave~! Because I’m down deep, about six feet, I need someone to save… I only wear my black hat everywhere I go. The only time I take it off is when I do my show.” Amen! Amen! Hallelujah, I’m goin’ in! Pretty good guitar solo right here, but not from Elias. “I was born a sinner. And that’s how I’m gonna die. So when I drop down to my knees, I thank the Lord and cry. I’ve seen so many things I don’t want to believe. But my eyes see through those lies, and the truth will set you free!” Now Elias gives us a good guitar solo. Pyro for the bridge into the next song, “Lead Me Home.”
“I traveled through time and space, through a forest and a quiet place,” he needs you to show him the way. Lead me! Lead me! Lead me home! “When I feel far away, and I don’t think this ain’t the place, I feel the sunshine on my face.” More pyro to top that one off. “Thank you, ThunderDome! WWE Universe! My new album, next Monday, Universal Truth! Thank you, good night! I love none of you.” Well that last bit wasn’t really necessary… Elias pretends the booing and thumbs down means they want an encore, so he gives it to us. Wait, whose music is this? Who is this guy showing off? Elias gets mad, this is HIS show. Hand him the guitar! But it’s JEFF HARDY! Hardy’s been known to rock, and he smashes the mic stand with the guitar! Hardy tells Elias he never hit Elias with a car, that was a frame job! Will Hardy make sure Elias hears what he’s saying with actions rather than words?
John Morrison and The Miz are backstage.
Can you believe Mandy called Miz petty? Can you believe Lars Sullivan showed up to get his freak on by attacking Morrison? John, please, this is about Miz! He did Mandy a favor by getting her away from Otis! Now she’s in a team with Dana instead of being Otis’ arm candy! Yeah, Miz practically saved her life! We all know how Otis is around candy. And Miz will save the Money in the Bank contract when he wins the court case against Otis. Morrison tells Miz he-
Tucker shows up! Tucker says Miz is just ruining Otis’ life for his own gain. The influence with USA got Mandy traded, Tucker drafted, and he’s just delaying this trial to drain Otis’ wallet. While Heavy Machinery may not be on the same roster, Tucky is going to find a partner who wants to ruin Miz & Morrison’s life tonight on Raw! First, Miz is NOT trying to ruin Otis’ life. Nope! He is trying to restore dignity to the MITB contract. Dignity, yo! Second, they accept this challenge. Challenge accepted! Morrison, what are you doing? Being the hype man. Well, the point is, Tucky finding a new tag partner is laughable! But will Tucker have the last laugh on the Greatest Tag Team of the 21st Century?
Backstage interview with Elias.
Obviously Hardy’s interruption was not part of the concert. Of course it wasn’t! Elias thought in his hiatus that the people would stop interrupting him, there would be reverence for his music, but NO! So next week, Elias will not only celebrate the album dropping, but he’ll be dropping Hardy! Elias challenges Hardy to a match at the HIAC PPV! Will Hardy not only accept but flip the script on the Drifter’s plans?
Kofi Kingston w/ Xavier Woods VS Sheamus!
The New Day may be separated between Monday and Friday, the Power of Positivity is universal! But the Celtic Warrior is also on Raw and wants to continue where he left off from SmackDown! Will Sheamus ruin the fun on the season premiere?
Raw returns as the New Day get the mics. “Wow! For the first time in nearly 4 years, ya bois the NEW~ DAY~ are your Raw, W, W, E, World, Tag, Team, CHAMPIONS~!” But a lot has changed since then. Four years brings a lot of change, but even one year brings a lot of change. Woods had his Achilles tear last year where he couldn’t work, and then 2020 happens and talk about a garbage fire! They’re back now but then they get drafted away from Big E, Woods can’t take this! Kofi calms him down and says it’s one step at a time. Just breathe. But Sheamus interrupts before they can even exhale! Sheamus has a mic to say, “Here we are, huh? Lads, I’ll be honest. I’m glad you finally stopped crying, because that stuff was embarrassing.”
But four years since they were on Raw, huh? But Big E’s on SmackDown. This is only two t’irds of the New Day. Did he just call them turds!? That means “both you Muppets” are going to end up on the wrong end of a Brogue. Oh c’mon, Sheamus. Just because Kofi and Woods are away from Big E, that doesn’t mean the New Day is done! Oh~ no~! It means that Big E gets to hold it down on the blue side while they’re here on the red side! That means the New Day get to speed their seeds of positivity all over the WWE Universe! Like Johnny Appleseed! That’s them! We Johnny Appleseedin’! Oh just shut up! Look at reality! This power of positivity is not real! The reality is, lads, both of them are divided. And divided they will fall.
Um, Sheamus wants to talk about falling? Didn’t Big E drop Sheamus’ ashy ass on the hood of a car? So ashy and dry at work! C’mon, Sheamus! But since he’s already forgotten what it’s like to lose to the New Day, get on in the ring and let Kofi knock you out with the I5’s! And do you know why? Oh wait Big E isn’t here to say it. Sheamus doesn’t want them to say it, but why? BECAUSE, NEW! DAY ROCKS! The Fella has a headache, but will it only get worse going 1v1 with the Grand Slam Kingston?
The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, Sheamus headlocks and hits a takeover but Kofi headscissors. Sheamus pops out, Kofi headlocks but Sheamus blocks the takedown. Sheamus powers out, runs Kofi over, and then speeds things up. Kofi dropkicks Sheamus down, covers, TWO! Kofi keeps on Sheamus, drags him up and kicks him around. Sheamus throws a forearm and has Kofi in a corner. Sheamus brings Kofi out for a European Uppercut but Kofi chops back! Kofi throws body shots, haymakers and CHOPS! Sheamus kicks low, CLUBS Kofi down hard, then brings him up to whip. Kofi kicks back, runs but into a scoop! Sheamus trophy lifts but Kofi slips out to clothesline Sheamus out of the ring! Kofi runs to dropkick Sheamus back down! And then he FLIES! But Sheamus catches him to SLAM him onto the apron! The Fella just gave Kofi a headache, and Raw goes to break!
Raw returns as Sheamus grinds Kofi down with a chinlock. Kofi fights up as fans clap on their screens. Kofi hits a jawbreaker and Sheamus staggers away! Sheamus comes back to CLOBBER Kofi! Sheamus puts Kofi on the ropes, brings him up in the ropes and gives him beats of the bodhrain! Sheamus wants Kofi to get emotional and cry like he did on Friday! Sheamus keeps clubbing Kofi until the ref counts 4, and he lets Kofi flop down. Big E is spotted among the ThunderDome screens as Kofi fights back! Kofi throws elbows and forearms but Sheamus hits a HARD body shot! Sheamus brings Kofi up for a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Sheamus clamps onto Kofi with a chinlock and squeezes tight. Woods points out Big E to Kofi, and the “New! Day Rocks!” clapping starts!
Kofi powers up, fights up, but Sheamus back suplexes. Kofi lands on his feet and comes back to STOMP Sheamus down! The power of positivity grows with Big E cheering on his screen! Kofi rises, Sheamus gasps as he stands, and Kofi double CHOPS! And double CHOPS! nd dropkicks! Sheamus swings, Kofi dodges, LEAPING LARIAT! Kofi fires up and runs, NEW~ DAY~ BOOM DROP! Kofi aims from the corner and the fans clap along on screen! Big E claps, too, but Sheamus dodges Trouble, only for Kofi to go up and crossbody! Cover, TWO! Woods coaches Kofi, Kofi rises but Sheamus throws another hard body shot. Sheamus runs in but into a swing kick! Kofi goes up top, leaps again, but Sheamus catches him again! And SWINGING SLAMS Kofi down! Cover, TWO!
Woods is relieved but Sheamus grows frustrated. Sheamus gets up, drags Kofi around by his legs, but Kofi fights off the Cloverleaf! Kofi is up but leaps into a takedown! Sheamus has the legs for the CLOVERLEAF! Kofi is caught, Sheamus sits DEEP! Kofi reaches for Big E’s LED screen and the ropes, then rolls through to go up and drag Sheamus down to a cradle, TWO!! Sheamus and Kofi are up, Sheamus runs in but Kofi kick shim away! Kofi spins, but no Trouble as Sheamus gets under! Alabama lift for an Alabama SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Kofi still lives and Sheamus is speechless! Woods coaches Kofi up more and tells Samoa Joe on commentary that Kofi’s got a lot left! Big E and the fans clap and rally, Sheamus drags Kofi up, fireman’s carry, and then he climbs the corner?!
Kofi fights back, slips off, and then climbs back up, SUPER RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!! Both men are down but Woods is fired up! Cover, TWO!! Sheamus survives but the fans haven’t given up! Kofi and Sheamus stir, rise and the ThunderDome is thunderous! Kofi stands Sheamus up, reels him in, but no SOS! Sheamus rolls Kofi, TWO, but he scoops! Kofi slips around, crucifix takedown, TWO! TROUBLE IN PARADISE!! Cover, Kofi wins!!
Winner: Kofi Kingston, by pinfall
The Celtic Warrior is 0-2 against the New Day in singles competition! Big E is fired up for Kofi, will the New Day soon stand tall atop both Raw and SmackDown?
Mustafa Ali speaks.
“The Fiend and the Hurt Business made a very big mistake.” They made the mistake believing that Retribution’s only power is strength in numbers. No, Ali’s power is creating chaos. You have no idea how much chaos he can create! All he needs is a laptop, a cellphone, and a secret. And with one click, he can make anyone’s world come crumbling down. Ali embraced that power. For you see, while he was sitting at home this past year, “because this corrupt company couldn’t figure out how to make a buck off of someone named Mustafa Ali,” Ali wasn’t just watching. He was watching each and every “spineless superstar” as they plotted and backstabbed each other just to get ahead! Ali learned all of their “pathetic, little secrets.”
At this point, Ali might as well just say it. That mysterious hacker WAS Ali! And he did it because he wants the entire world to know that “this sick place is infecting everyone with greed and corruption!” Because of that, good, talented individuals are being forgotten and abandoned, their dreams left to DIE! Ali found them. Ali united them. And Ali promised them that their truth will be heard. So to anyone, from the Fiend to the Hurt Business to anyone in between, “if you try to stop the truth from being heard, we will will shut you down!” It was Ali, WWE Universe! It was Ali all along! And now that he has combined his intellect and abilities with the savage rage of these outcasts, will anyone be safe?
Titus O’Neil talks to The Hurt Business backstage.
Titus knows they did their thing tonight against Retribution. He was sitting backstage and thought he’d be a great addition to their group. He already dresses the part, looks the part, and with his connections in public image, he can take their conglomerate worldwide. Oh, worldwide, huh? Well Titus is an upstanding community service man and he definitely dresses the part. And Ricochet isn’t coming to his senses so let them take a moment to discuss. That moment doesn’t last that long. Wow, they move fast! Music to his ears! Titus can’t wait to get started. No, they’re in business. And they beat up Titus! The Real Deal gets beat down 4v1! Is this because they can’t go after Ricochet anymore?!
The Miz & John Morrison VS Tucker Knight & ???
The Hollywood A-Lister and Guru of Greatness got a great laugh out of Tucker’s threat of a tag team beating. But will Tucker be making them eat their words after the break?
Raw returns and Miz tells Tucker that time is up. Bring out this tag team partner that will “fill Otis’ shoes.” Hey hey, ho ho! If you’ve got a partner, let us know. Tucker makes his entrance and is fired up, because he tells them to make their jokes. When the bell rings, they won’t be laughing. Tucker scoured the globe, north, south, east and west, from the highest mountains to the lowest valleys, and he found “one of the world’s premiere luchadors!” This is… EL GORDO GRANDE! Wait, what? That’s just Otis in a mask. Nuh-uh. Gordo, introduce yourself. “Si, senor Tucky. Yo soy GRANDE GORDO!” He has the lunchbox!! He’s holding onto it for Otis. And how did Tucky scour the globe in 30 minutes? Uh, digitally! Duh! And in Tucker’s opinion, Gordo could be the next Rey Mysterio! Right, Gordo? “Si, senor Tucky.”
ENOUGH!! Do you think wearing a mask makes you clever? It’s more like you ate Lucha House Party! And it just proves Miz’s point! Otis doesn’t deserve the MITB briefcase because Otis is not championship material! When Miz won, he upped his game, won the title and main evented WrestleMania! Otis is standing there in a bright pink mask and cape with a lunchbox filled with deli meats! Otis spits on everyone who has ever won the MITB contract! That contract changes careers, and yet Otis is wasting his! So why is he making a joke? The only thing Miz can think of is that Otis is the joke! Miz looks at Otis, and thinks of them side by side. There’s a difference that’s obvious: Miz LOOKS like a WWE superstar. He has been in this business for 15 YEARS beating Hall of Famers!
Miz has represented the WWE in all forms of media! Miz is championship material and yet everyone boos him and thumbs down in “Virtual World” while cheering Otis! Why!? Why?! Because Otis is the “underdog story!” Otis won as an underdog! When Mandy chose a boyfriend, he was the underdog and won the girl. Miz will explain this very slowly so even Otis can understand. When people call you an underdog, it’s out of pity! And they will pity Otis more when the court rules in Miz’s favor, because he knows how to play the system. Miz separated Otis from Mandy, separated Otis from Tucker, and will separate Otis from the MITB contract and bring prestige back to it! So play any character you want. Put a mask on a pig, it’s still a pig. This finally fires off!! Otis/Gordo and Tucker clobber Miz and Morrison and hold the ring as Raw goes to break!
Raw returns and this match finally begins as Tucker circles with Morrison. They tie up, Tucker pushes Morrison away and then tie up again. Tucker puts Morrison in a corner, whips him corner to corner but Morrison goes up and over, only for Tucker to go up and CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Tucker swipes at Miz, blocks Morrison’s kick but Morrison goes Eddy Gordo! Morrison chokes Tucker on the ropes, then lets off so Miz can choke Tucker! They get away with it all then tag, for a DOUBLE GUTBUSTER! Miz mocks Otis/Gordo and BOOTS Tucker down! Miz throws haymakers, tags Morrison, and snapmares Tucker. Morrison runs to KNEE Tucker down, Miz BOOTS, Morrison standing shooting stars! Cover, TWO!
Morrison keeps Tucker down with haymakers and stomps. Morrison taunts Tucker while stomping him more. Morrison brings Tucker up to throw knees but Tucker throws haymakers. Morrison throat chops Tucker! Morrison throws elbows down, gets the arm and shifts, but Tucker blocks the armbar to a cover. ONE, Morrison keeps moving around and has a straitjacket stretch! Tucker endures, fans clap and rally as Otis/Gordo shakes and moves around. Tucker fights up, backs Morrison into the ropes but Miz tags in. Tucker throws Morrison off and CLOBBERS him, but Miz is after the legs! Tucker kicks him away and tags in Otis! Gordo rallies with big clotheslines! And then he pops Morrison up for a FLAPJACK! Morrison staggers, Otis clotheslines him out!
Miz runs into a boot from Otis, and Otis goes up! Otis reels Miz in for a flying arm-drag! And a cartwheel! Maybe this IS a luchador! Scoop slam and a cover, Morrison breaks it! Tucker gets in and he scoops Morrison for a SLAM of his own! Miz BOOTS Tucker out of the ring! Miz goes after Otis, full nelson but wait, R-Truth gets in? He’s being chased, but also pretends he’s not here. Miz is distracted as Drew Gulak, Akira Tozawa and another ref are passing through, too! Otis recovers to CORNER SPLASH! Lucha House Party is in the 24/7 Championship chase, too, but they stick around to see LA ORUGA! The Spanish Caterpillar! Otis goes up top, EL VADER BOMB! Cover, Otis- er, Gordo and Tucker win!
Winners: Tucker Knight & “El Grand Gordo,” by pinfall
Well whoever that really is, he and Tucker teach The Miz and Morrison not to be so high and mighty! Will the court case between Miz and Otis finally be settled?
The New Day parties with Tucker and “Gordo” backstage!
Great job with Miz and Morrison! That’s what they get for that $6 song on iTunes. Actually it’s down to 99 cents. OUCH! But wait! Mandy gives “Gordo” a ham! Gracias, senorita. GOR! DO ROCKS! GOR! DO ROCKS!
Raw presents an all new Firefly Fun House!
Time to unpack! Bray brings out Mr. Mallet, and the black sheep mask. And the weird branding thing? What was that for again? Well anyway, hi, fireflies! This is the season premiere of Firefly Fun House on Monday Night Raw! It makes Bray sad he had to lave his friends on SmackDown. But he can’t wait to make new friends here on Raw! “He” already did… What a great start! Abby the Witch wants us to keep it down so she can sleep. Don’t be crabby, Abby. Raw is about having fun! Huskis likes it raw. Ramblin’ Rabbit says that’s right. This is about new beginnings! He’s making new friends and going to do his garsh darn best to be a better father and husband. Wait, Ramblin’ has a family? Well you never asked…
Sorry about that, little buddy. But going forward, Bray promises to be a better friend. You mean you’ll keep Ramblin’ from being eaten by Mercy the Buzzard? And just dying in general? “After all, the past is in our heads. But the future is in our hands.” Really? Really! That means so much! All Ramblin’s wanted is a fresh start. MERCY ATTACKS! Fresh start? More like fresh meat! But wait, someone is knocking at the door? It’s… LEXI! The best surprise saved for last! And the fun is just getting started! YOWIE WOWIE! See you later~! Bye~! Now that Lexi is on the show, what “fun” will the Fun House be having?
Keith Lee VS Braun Strowman!
The Limitless One and the Monster Among Men nearly destroyed the ThunderDome in their “exhibition” match! Now it’s going to be on the record, will they just wreck everything all over again?
Raw returns and Keith Lee makes his entrance. The bell rings and the titans stare down. Braun says Keith picked a fight with the wrong monster! They tie up, go around, and Braun puts Keith in the corner. Braun throws headbutts and elbows but the ref counts. Braun tells the ref to shut up as he goes corner to corner and SPLASHES! Keith staggers, Braun clotheslines him out of the ring! Keith staggers to the desk, Braun follows out and comes around the way, the STROWMAN EXPRESS blasts Keith into the apron! Braun puts Keith in, tells him to get up, and then he scoops Keith up! Keith slips off, the bad back and ribs from Roman’s chair shots limit Braun! Keith goes after Braun with clubbing forearms!
Keith lets Braun sit up before he boots him down! Braun gets up, Keith BODY PRESSES! And SPLASHES! Cover, TWO!! Braun toughs it out as Ric Flair and JBL are watching on the ThunderDome! Keith as Braun in a corner and throws forearms and rams in shoulders! The ref counts, Keith keeps going until 4. Keith brings Braun up, wrenches and whips him but Braun blocks! Braun ROCKS Keith with a right, throws uppercuts then runs corner to corner only to miss! Keith moves to POUNCE Braun!! Keith tells Braun to get up now but Braun stays down as dead weight. Keith says “We ain’t done yet,” but Braun learns a trick from Roman! Braun gets up and “inadvertently” LOW BLOWS Keith with his head! Braun seethes as he watches Keith gasp for air! Braun runs and BOOTS Keith down! Cover, BRAUN WINS!!
Winner: Braun Strowman, by pinfall
The Monster took advantage of the one limiter Keith has! But Keith grimaces as he LOW BLOWS Braun back! “Don’t test me!” Braun claims to be a monster, but he just met a dragon! “You have tangled with the wrong one!” Will Keith make sure Braun gets what’s coming and #BaskInHisGlory?
Raw returns, and the Cell is being lowered!
It is a sampler of what will happen this Sunday at the HIAC PPV. And now, Randy Orton heads to the ring! The Viper promised a “message from hell,” and that means from inside Hell in a Cell itself! Orton makes sure to lock the door, knowing McIntyre will want after him. Orton has a chair as well as a mic, and he takes a seat in the center of the ring. “Before I came out here tonight, I asked that the cell be lowered, because I wanted to come out here and reflect. I wanted to come out here and remember.” Orton looks at the steel and says ever since he’s been in the WWE, he heard about the cell, “and that anyone who competes inside Hell in a Cell leaves a small piece of them behind.” Orton has had seven matches inside this structure, and he has never left any piece behind. If anything, he’s understood himself better after each time. Orton understood what he was truly capable of.
This Sunday, Orton enters for the eighth time as he faces McIntyre. But as he sits here, he remembers standing toe-to-toe with the World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry. He remembers surviving the Celtic Warrior, Sheamus. Orton remembers mutilating Jeff Hardy, and beating down Daniel Bryan. He remembers facing John Cena twice, and becoming WWE Champion twice! But the most important thing he remembers about the cell, that despite what McIntyre says about Orton not earning “a damn thing” in his life, Orton remembers standing “in this hell, and looking The Deadman in the eye, and earning his respect.” Orton says that every name he listed are all agreed upon future hall of famers. And when Orton thinks of the Hall of Fame, he thinks of the synonymous word, “Legend.”
The word “legend” gets thrown around a lot these days rather loosely. The word “legend” is losing its meaning. There are legends and legendary moments. Orton will admit McIntyre had a legendary moment beating Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania to become champion. But enough talk, McIntyre heads out to the ring! Orton taunts McIntyre from the other side of the steel fence. The chain holds the door closed so Orton gets cocky as he eggs McIntyre on. McIntyre will have to wait until Sunday unless he can break the lock! “Come get me!” Okay then. McIntyre goes over to the barriers, and brings out BOLT CUTTERS! Orton freaks out as McIntyre starts clipping chain links!
Orton runs to the ring but McIntyre is in! Orton has his chair, McIntyre slams the door closed, and he shouts, “Your ass belongs to me!!” But Raw has to end for the night?! What happens between Scottish Psychopath and vicious Viper when we can’t see it?!
Are you kidding me?! That ending really hurt the whole show! And it was a really good go-home episode up until then! McIntyre had a good promo teasing his appearance, and Orton had a great promo to lead into that. The two looked ready to tear themselves and the cell apart, but then we have to cut away?! It didn’t bleed over into Raw Talk like it should have, it hasn’t been posted anywhere yet, such as YouTube or Twitter, so what the hell?! It’s not even a cliffhanger, it’s just a big middle finger to us! And not the cool kind like Stone Cold throws up. The mean kind when you’re meaning to insult people because you don’t care if you piss them off!
Moving on to the good stuff, opening with Alexa and Fiend, followed by Retribution and Hurt Business, it was all great stuff. I really like the idea that with Seth Rollins bringing the “greater good” to SmackDown, the rest of the roster could be fighting to fill the “power vacuum,” if you will. Retribution VS Hurt Business have their 8 Man Tag I was hoping for, but I felt like Retribution got jobbed out too easily. Lashley basically finished them off by himself, which seemed too much. On the flipside, Fiend doing that to them was fine, because it was the Fiend. But I feel bad for Titus getting beat down 4v1. Maybe Titus and Ricochet become an alliance, and they find a way to take the fight to the Hurt Business.
The Firefly Fun House segment was great, too, especially with them having Alexa show up. It just makes sense. Ali had a great promo, too, that finally gave us closure on the SmackDown hacker that we all felt made the most sense. I really hope we get some kind of 4v4v4 match, where Fiend can either debut more characters being “played” by superstars, or superstars take on the characters of the funhouse. Bo Dallas should definitely return to be the human embodiment of Ramblin’ Rabbit or Mercy the Buzzard. At this point, maybe that’s what happens to Ricochet and Titus. They want to fight Hurt Business, so does The Fiend. Bray, Bo, Ricochet and Titus become some new kind of Wyatt Family meets Firefly Fun House cast, and they get to win against two other honestly talented factions.
Styles VS Riddle was a great surprise, as was Omogbehin being Styles’ new heavy. Granted, I was hoping for Raw Underground to regroup as a faction, but Omogbehin being with Styles is great for both of them. Joseph Park should show up, too. I still hope we get the WWE equivalent of The Abyss out of him, so that way Styles has two monsters with him. The Raw Women’s Championship was good but fast, similar to Asuka’s matches with Zelina Vega. Lana does have talent but it sure seems like having her smashed through a table is more fun. The Fatal 4 Way Tag was pretty great, though it’s very confusing in the moment for Peyton and Lacey to team up when Peyton and Billie just got broken up as a team. Maybe Peyton goes Face against Lacey in a 1v1 feud? And no idea who steps up to be contenders since Nia and Shayna just crushed a bunch of teams.
Asuka taking on both Nia and Shayna would be interesting. A Triple Threat before Survivor Series maybe? Because I’m still hoping we get something to the effect of Asuka VS Shirai VS Bayley/Banks. Survivor Series needs to be triple branded again, and we need to at least get moments of Asuka VS Shirai since we haven’t gotten that at all. The New Day and Sheamus had a great promo segment and an even greater match. That is why they’re all still in the WWE doing big things. But I wonder, will Sheamus get a tag partner to take Kofi and Woods on together? Meanwhile, Miz & Morrison and Heavy Machinery have their own great promo segment and match. The 24/7 Championship chase showing up was a great bit, too. Heavy Machinery win one more time together, but I am so surprised as to them dragging the briefcase element out. WILL Otis cash that in before the “court” settles things? That’s the best way Otis can get back at Miz, even if Otis fails to take a title.
Elias’ “concert” was great, because he’s actually improved to some level. And Hardy showing up to show him up was good, too. Their match at HIAC will be good, but I feel like it’s only going to be the beginning of a long feud. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is how the winner of that feud gets towards a title. If Hardy wins, he’s at least getting after the US Championship, and could actually be who joins up with Fiend to fight Hurt Business. Or he goes all the way to the top title just to give us a great Face VS Face match with McIntyre. Braun VS Keith was pretty good, and I actually like that they had Braun get away with that low blow. Braun VS Keith deserves to be even bigger, so a match at a PPV for a shot at the world champion is definitely how this should go. Even if McIntyre holds on, the bit of battling he and Keith had was not nearly enough, we need more of that. McIntyre VS Braun isn’t half bad either, given they have history dating back to their feud with The Shield.
My Score: 8/10
Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (1/21/22)
Moxley is on a Rampage!
AEW continues LIVE in Washington, D.C!
Jon Moxley gets back in action against Ethan Page, and Jade Cargill defends the TBS Championship against Anna Jay!
- Jon Moxley VS Ethan Page w/ Scorpio Sky; Moxley wins.
- Nick Jackson w/ Matt Jackson VS Trent Beretta w/ Orange Cassidy; Trent wins.
- Hook VS Serpentico; Hook wins.
- AEW TBS Championship: Jade Cargill w/ Mark Sterling VS Anna Jay w/ John Silver; Cargill wins and retains the title.
PLAY BY PLAY
Jon Moxley VS Ethan Page w/ Scorpio Sky!
The Maniac is back and he’s even more liberated than he was before! Will Moxley use that newfound freedom, and the same old ferocity, to deflate All Ego?
The bell rings and Moxley circles with Ethan. Fans are fired up for Mox as he ties up with Ethan. They go around, Moxley powers Ethan to a corner but Ethan shoves Moxley away. Ethan double guns and grins but Moxley keeps cool. Moxley and Ethan circle, tie up, Moxley waistlocks but Ethan switches to shove Mox away. Ethan blows a kiss but Moxley ties up with him again. They go around, end up on ropes and fans rally as Ethan lets off. Ethan CHOPS, but Moxley eggs him on. Ethan CHOPS again, Moxley CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Ethan kicks low, whips, but Moxley reverses. Things speed up and Moxley CLOBBERS Ethan!
Moxley follows Ethan to a corner, grinds forearms into his face, then climbs up to BITE Ethan’s forehead! Mox did say he drinks blood now… Moxley runs, but into a BOOT! Ethan goes up to ENZIGURI, then runs Moxley over with a shoulder! Moxley tumbles out of the ring and Ethan soaks up the heat. Ethan goes out to fetch Moxley, bumps him off the timekeeper’s table, then throws down hands. The ref starts a ring count but Ethan mugs Moxley and breaks the table! Moxley staggers away, Ethan stalks behind him. Moxley kicks and CHOPS back! And CHOPS more! Moxley whips Ethan into railing! Fans fire up as they get even closer to the action.
Moxley drags Ethan up, puts him in the ring, and fans fire up more as Moxley steps in. But Ethan knees Moxley at the ropes, gets the legs caught in the rope, and dropkicks the knee! Fans boo but Ethan drags Moxley up and in through the ropes. Double underhooks, DRAPING BUTTERFLY BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Ethan looms over Moxley, has him on ropes and throws down punches! The ref counts, Ethan lets off, but Ethan drags Moxley up. Moxley rams him into the corner and throws his shoulder in. Moxley whips corner to corner, but Ethan dodges and Moxley POSTS himself!
AEW goes picture in picture as Ethan grins and Moxley flops to the floor. Ethan goes out, hammerlocks the bad arm and POSTS it! Ethan SLAMS the bad arm against railing, then brings Moxley around to KNEE him low. Ethan TOSSES Moxley over the railing and now the front row is getting a real interactive experience. Ethan talks trash that HE is the face of AEW, not Moxley. Ethan drags Moxley back over the railing to ringside, and then puts him in the ring. Ethan stalks Moxley, drags him up and reels him in, but Moxley fights out of the crucifix as AEW returns to single picture! School boy, TWO!
Ethan swings, Moxley gets around, GERMAN SUPLEX! And another German Suplex! Moxley gets Ethan up a third time but Ethan elbows free. Ethan runs but Moxley sidesteps for a SNAP GERMAN! Ethan flounders up in a corner, Moxley runs in and forearm smashes! Moxley keeps moving, Ethan ducks and fires a forearm! Moxley forearms back, but Ethan hits back. Moxley ROCKS Ethan, eggs him on, but Ethan throws another forearm. Moxley SLAPS, Ethan SLAPS, it’s a SLAP fight! Moxley fires off boxing elbows but Ethan knees low again! Ethan runs, into a knee at the ropes! Moxley runs, into a BOOT!
Moxley ducks the roundhouse to LARIAT Ethan down! Fans fire up as Moxley rises again. Moxley drags Ethan up, underhooks the arms, PARA- NO! Ethan slips out, ROUNDHOUSE! ROLLING ELBOW! Suplex to a BRAINBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally, Ethan gets a leg and turns Moxley over for a HALF CRAB! Moxley endures, crawls, and reaches out for the ROPEBREAK! Ethan lets go at the ref’s count, and he fires off haymakers! Ethan runs in, but Moxley dumps him out! Moxley builds speed despite the knee, and he DIVES! Direct hit and Ethan hits railing! Moxley puts Ethan in, goes to the corner, climbs up, but Ethan ROCKS him first!
Ethan climbs up, brings Moxley onto a shoulder, SUPER POWERSLAM! Ethan has to crawl to the cover, TWO!! Ghost pin, TWO! Moxley drives hammering elbows into Ethan’s head! Then knees! Then the BULLY CHOKE!! Ethan endures, Moxley cranks way back, Ethan is OUT! Moxley wins!
Winner: Jon Moxley, by submission
And there it is! Moxley is back, and Ethan can’t even believe it! But Ethan gets in Moxley’s face, so Moxley kicks him and hits PARADIGM SHIFT! Now Ethan’s out cold all over again! Will Moxley do much of the same to the next man put in front of him?
As Moxley makes his exit, Bryan Danielson is there! Bryan applauds Moxley, but is the American Dragon planning on being next up?
AEW hears from Jurassic Express.
Jungle Boy tells Billy Gunn that Billy’s been “a salty old bitch” since they first met. So the fact Billy is upset his sons haven’t just been handed a tag title match doesn’t surprise him. The Gunn Clubs crossed the line going after Christian Cage like that. Christian was right about apples not falling far from the tree. Billy’s little Ass Boys are entitled and sour, just like Billy. The title match should be the least of their concerns, because when Christian comes back, this won’t be about a match. They’ll be coming to stomp Gunn Club’s heads into the ground! Will Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus make Gunn Club extinct?
Nick Jackson w/ Matt Jackson VS Trent Beretta w/ Orange Cassidy!
The Roppongi Vice reunion had to be postponed because of gaddang COVID. But Freshly Squeezed has Trent’s back as he takes on one of the Young Bucks 1v1. Who will have the momentum going into the tag team rivalry’s revival?
The bell rings, the two circle, and they tie up. Trent powers Nick to ropes, the ref calls for the break, and Trent lets off to pull a page out of Kazuchika Okada’s book: a fake chop, to then pat the shoulders. Nick is annoyed, he kicks Trent low and whips him to ropes. Trent kicks the back drop away, but Nick blocks the punch to knuckle lock, CHOP, and “LUCHA~ LIBRE~!” arm-drag! But Trent gets up and CLOBBERS Nick! Trent storms in at Nick to stomp, CHOP, and stalk Nick to another corner for another CHOP. And then another CHOP! Nick wants to tag Matt but Cutler reminds him this is a singles match.
Nick avoids Trent’s chop, stomps him then reels Trent in. But Trent powers up to TOSS Nick away! Fans fire up and Cassidy double guns on Trent’s behalf. Trent storms over to the apron but Nick hotshots him! Nick slingshots, but Trent blocks the DDT to NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, ONE!! rent’s neck might be a concern again, but he gets up to throw forearms on Nick. Trent whips, back drops Nick high and hard, and fans fire up. Trent brings Nick up to throw forearms, wrap on a headlock, but Nick powers out. Things speed up, Trent ducks and dodges but crossbodies into ropes as Nick ducks!
Nick smirks as Trent is on the apron. Nick drags Trent through the ropes for a HOTSHOT NECKBREAKER! Trent flops out of the ring, Nick goes out to the apron, PENALTY KICK to the back! Trent goes down, Nick strikes a lounging pose on the apron. Fans rally up as AEW goes picture in picture.
Cutler sprays Nick down so he stays cool, and Nick drags Trent up. Nick puts Trent in the ring, climbs up a corner, and leaps to hit an ax handle to Trent’s back! Nick drags Trent up again, CLUBS him on the neck, then brings him around to run and HOTSHOT BULLDOG! Nick does his Macho Man before he goes into the ring. Nick brings Trent up, heads for the ropes again, but Trent powers out to CLOBBER Nick! Nick bails out, Trent grits his teeth and builds speed, but Nick gets in to SUPERKICK! Trent falls out of the ring, Nick runs and FLIES! Not the best takeoff but Nick still wipes Trent out! Nick gets back in the ring, but Cassidy makes sure Matt doesn’t try something.
Matt eggs Cassidy on, and Cassidy pulls back his fist, but then he avoids Nick’s kick from the apron! Trent trips Nick up and Nick hits apron on the way down! Trent puts Nick back in, hops up the corner, but Nick trips Trent up! Trent hits buckles on the way down! Nick wants Trent to get up but AEW goes to break.
AEW returns and Nick is up top. Trent is in the drop zone, Nick SWANTONS but onto Trent’s knees! Trent saves himself and fans rally up! Trent throws forearms but Nick hits back. They double forearm but neither falls! They double forearm again, they still stay up, and Trent LARIATS Nick down! Trent fires up, waistlocks and deadlifts to a GERMAN SUPLEX! Trent aims from a corner, runs and BUSAIKU KNEE! Cover, TWO! Nick goes to ropes, Trent fires forearms on him. Trent rains them down on Nick but the ref backs him off. Nick gets up, BOOTS Trent back, then handsprings to the apron. Trent runs in, but slides as Nick backflips away!
Trent dodges Nick to SPEAR him down! Fans fire up with Trent as he gets up and puts Nick in the ring. Trent runs in at the corner but into a BOOT! Nick swings but into a SAIDO! Trent gets Nick for a TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up, Trent brings Nick up and CHOPS! And CHOPS! Trent runs, but Nick uses the ref as a shield! ROUNDHOUSE! GERMAN SUPLEX! But Trent gets right up and gets Nick for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Both men are down, a standing count begins and fans rally up. Nick crawls to the apron, shoulders into Trent, then slingshots, but Trent catches him! Trent shoves Nick away, Nick backflips and lands on his feet to ROCK Trent!
Nick slingshots, DESTROYER!! Cover, TWO!! Trent survives and shocks Nick! Nick rains down fists on Trent, “This is Awesome!” but far from over! Nick brings Trent up but Trent throws a forearm! Nick throws another forearm, but Trent forearms back! Nick ROCKS Trent, but Trent shakes it off and ROCKS Nick! Nick goes to a corner, spins, ROUNDHOUSE! Trent crawls to a corner, Nick runs in to SHINING WIZARD, ROUNDHOUSE, and forearm to a BULLDOG! Nick wants Trent to stand up, but Trent blocks the superkick to whip! Nick flips through, but into a HALF ‘N’ HALF! Nick SUPERKICKS, but Trent LARIATS!
Fans are thunderous as Trent gets Nick back up, PILEDRIVER!! Cover, TWO!?! Nick survives and Trent can’t believe it! Trent crawls after Nick and they end up on the ramp. Trent reels Nick in, but Nick back drops Trent away! Nick climbs a corner, takes aim, SWANTON on the ramp! Trent rolls into the ring, Nick goes back up top. Nick aims again, 450 SPLASH!! Cover, TWO?!? Nick can’t believe it and Matt is furious! Nick aims from the corner, Trent slowly rises, SUPERKICK! Nick says he wants another! SUPER- NO! Trent ducks, Alabama lift and tuck, STRONG ZERO! Cover, Trent wins!!
Winner: Trent Beretta, by pinfall
A massive victory for #JustTrent! But will it be even bigger when Rocky Romero returns to reignite Roppongi Vice VS Young Bucks?
AEW takes a closer look at Martinez VS Rosa.
“No one knows the reason why I’m here. No one needs to know. All they need to know is that my first priority is taking out Thunder Rosa.” But Rosa reminds Mercedes that she took the TBS Championship away from her. Mercedes asks how it feels to see her dreams of being a champion slip away thanks to the OG Badass? Just cuz Mercedes thinks she’s the OG, doesn’t mean she is an OG. La Mera Mera is ready for anyone, but when and where are we going to see these two tear into each other?
Hook VS Serpentico!
The Handsome Devil is still undefeated, and he hasn’t even broken a sweat yet. Will he continue the streak? Or will SNAKEMAN strike him down?
Serpentico throws his streamers, and Hook CLOBBERS him! The bell rings and Serpentico tries to find his way out of the streamers but Hook just throws knee after knee, then he throws Serpentico! And then a drop sayanagi! STO! Fans sing, “Hook is gonna kill~ you~!” Hook gets Serpentico up, double wristlock takedown but Serpentico scrambles to the ROPEBREAK! Hook lets off, then runs in, but into a boot! Serpentico runs, into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Hook paces, Serpentico flounders up, into the REDRUM! Serpentico taps, Hook wins!
Winner: Hook, by submission
Hook makes SNAKEMAN pay, but QT Marshall storms out and says this is what he’s been talking about! Hitting before the bell, holding on after! QT says Hook is a delinquent! Hook goes up the ramp but QT won’t let him through. Hook’s tough now, huh? QT says he’s ready for him now! But then Hook TOSSES QT, and walks on him! Will QT learn to just let Hook be Hook?
Mark Henry talks with the main eventers.
Jade Cargill is 24-0 and the TBS Champion. The first-ever, too. How does she feel about her competition tonight? “Anna Banana? Let’s just make this about me. I am undefeated, baby. And I am the first TBS champ. Anna should be elated that she has a spot on the main event.” Anna warns Jade one more time. She has a dark side. That street fight changed Anna, and she chokes people out. Tonight, TBS stands for That Bitch SLAYER. Oh, well Anna better bring the barbed wire! Anna says she doesn’t need it. Mark Henry says there’s been enough talk. It’s time for the main event! Will Number 99 survive the storm that’s coming for her?
AEW TBS Championship: Jade Cargill w/ Mark Sterling VS Anna Jay w/ John Silver!
The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see if Jade stays the undefeated inaugural TBS Champion!
Fans rally and duel as Jade flexes while Anna shows the Dark Order claw. They tie up, go around, Jade headlocks. Jade holds on as Anna tries to power out, but Anna gets free on the second try, only for Jade to run her over! Jade dusts herself off, drags Anna up, but Anna JAWBREAKERS! Anna runs, jumps, but into Jade’s arms! FALL AWAY SLAM! Jade kips up and fans fire up as she smirks. “I like money, but I’m That BI-” ROLL UP! TWO, and Jade CLOBBERS Anna! Anna bails out again, Mark Sterling talks smack but John Silver gets in his way. Jade goes out and moves Mark aside to get in Johnny Hungy’s face. They flex their guns at each other, they’re both jacked!
But then Anna roars as she runs in to CLOBBER Jade! “That Bitch SLAYER!” Anna gets back in the ring to refresh the count, and AEW goes picture in picture.
Anna SMACKS Jade off the apron, then does it again! Anna high fives Silver, but Jade hits back with elbows. Jade gets in the ring, Anna follows, and Anna runs in at the corner to forearm smash! Anna climbs up to rain down fists, but only gets 7 before Jade throws her away! Anna runs back in, but into a SPINEBUSTER! Jade drops an elbow, covers, TWO! Jade shows off by doing push-ups, but Anna throws body shots. Jade CLUBS Anna down, stalks her to a corner, then brings her up for forearms. Jade stomps Anna back down, digs her boot in, and lets off as the ref counts 4. Jade drags Anna back up to RAM a shoulder in!
Jade RAMS Anna again, lets off as the ref reprimands, but Jade fires off more forearms. Jade bumps Anna off buckles, CLUBS her, and CLUBS her again. Jade keeps on Anna, taunts her, then runs in, but into a BOOT! Anna runs, into an OVERHEAD suplex! Jade kips up, covers, TWO! Jade is annoyed but she drags Anna up to bump her off buckles again. Jade bumps Anna off more buckles, runs corner to corner as she “dribbles,” to DUNK on Anna! AEW returns to single picture as Jade whips Anna corner to corner. Anna dodges the corner attack to HEEL KICK! SLEEPER on the ropes! The ref counts, Jade HOTSHOTS Anna!
Both women are down, the ref starts a standing count, and fans rally up. Jade sputters as she gets up, and she stands Anna up, only for Anna to ROCK her with a forearm! Anna runs into the corner to back elbow, forearm, roll and DANGEROUS JAY KICK! Anna whips, Jade reverses but Anna wrenches to DANGEROUS JAY KICK again! And then a mule kick, SUPERKICK, and a COMPLETE SHOT! Anna roars and fans fire up with her! Anna drags Jade up, but Mark is on the apron to distract! Anna chases him off, Silver gets Mark by his tie! BRAINBUSTER to the floor! Anna gets around Jade, backslide! TWO!!
Jade BOOTS Anna down! Jade drags Anna back up, hooks the arms, JAD- VICTORY ROLL! To the QUEENSLAYER!!! Jade flails, fights up, and RAMS Anna into buckles! Jade is free, but Anna knocks her down! Anna hops up the corner, drags Jade up, HANGING SLEEPER! The ref counts, but Jade pries free! Jade drags Anna out onto her shoulder, but Anna slips off! Anna shoves Jade into a corner, DANGEROUS- NO! Jade catches Anna and powers her up for a POWERBOMB! And then Jade hooks the arms, JADED!! Cover, Jade wins!
Winner: Jade Cargill, by pinfall (still AEW TBS Champion)
Anna gave it her all, but it just wasn’t enough! Jade is 25-0, is still the champion, and is still making the big bucks! Will she continue to dominate until she is THE champion in AEW?
A great episode of Rampage, lots of great focus on the matches but there were still good promos, too. Jungle Boy calls out Gunn Club on behalf of Jurassic Express, I’m thinking we’re getting a Six Man Tag before the tag title match. Mercedes Martinez and Thunder Rosa have another good promo to build towards their match, but hopefully it happens sooner rather than later. They can’t keep delaying this just because AEW keeps forgetting to make more time for women’s matches on Dynamite. Moxley VS Ethan was really good stuff, a great opener for sure, and a great return for Moxley. Bryan Danielson being there to applaud Mox was a nice way to branch this to something between them, that is going to be a killer match.
Nick VS Trent was also a killer match. Rocky Romero will definitely be back next week, and having Roppongi Vice VS Young Bucks on the post Beach Break Rampage will be really big. Hook had another great night, especially with him getting to shut QT up. Hook should definitely be considered for a TNT Championship story at some point. And we got a great TBS Championship match. Anna’s promo before was a little shaky but she came really close. But as I figured, Jade wins, and she’s going to build quite the reign before she ever loses.
My Score: 8.7/10
Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (1/21/22)
Acknowledge the history made!
The Tribal Chief is the new Universal Championship standard!
SmackDown, acknowledge that Roman Reigns is the new longest reigning WWE Universal Champion as the Bloodline celebrates!
- Kofi Kingston VS “Mad Cap” Moss w/ “Happy” Corbin; Kofi wins.
- Aliyah VS Natalya; Aliyah wins, by disqualification.
- Los Lotharios VS The Viking Raiders; The Viking Raiders win.
- SmackDown Women’s Championship Contender’s Match: Charlotte Flair VS Naomi; Charlotte wins and denies Naomi a title match.
- Sheamus w/ Ridge Holland VS Ricochet; Sheamus wins.
- Seth Rollins & Kevin Owens VS The Usos; Rollins & Kevin win, by disqualification, and The Usos are banned from ringside during the Royal Rumble’s Universal Championship match.
PLAY BY PLAY
The Usos are in the ring to start off SmackDown!
Jey tells Nashville, “The Bloodline is now in your city!” Jimmy says they’re here for one reason and one reason only! They’re celebrating the longest reigning Universal Champion EVER! At 508 days… That’s 508 consecutive days! There are a few big names who have been Universal Champion, but none held the belt as long as this. Not Kevin Owens, not Seth Freakin’ Rollins, not Brock Lesnar! But there is one. He is the Head of the Table, he is the Tribal Chief, he is the longest reigning Universal Champion in WWE history! Their cousin, ROMAN! REEEIGNS! And here comes Roman! He holds up the belt for one round of pyro on stage, then the second round in the ring.
Jimmy gets Roman a mic, and Roman says, “Nashville! Acknowledge me.” Jimmy says, “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s witness the highlights of the most dominant, decorated WWE champion, Roman Reigns.” The video starts by noting August 30th, 2020, Roman Reigns returned to action and took the title from Braun Strowman. From there, he defeated Kevin Owens, Daniel Bryan, Edge, Cesaro, Rey Mysterio, Finn Balor, Shinsuke Nakamura, and even John Cena, Brock Lesnar, and Big E. “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” Back to present, Roman has a big smile on his face while the Usos applaud. That was a good video!
But then SETH ROLLINS appears! “Oooooh, what kind of party would it be without Seth Freakin’ Rollins~?” Hell of a video, and congratulations to the longest reigning Universal Champion of all time. They should celebrate, because that reign will end very, very shortly. But also, celebrate the fact that Roman made an honest man outta Rollins. Last week, Rollins came out, told Roman that he’s not responsible for any of his own success, and Rollins meant that in a meta way. Roman is the chosen one, catered to, but oh, Roman took it so literally. In fact, Roman sent his cousins to Raw to do the dirty work for him. If Roman had a message to send, he could just text.
But since we’re here celebrating, what they should be celebrating is the longest reigning SmackDown Tag Team Champions in history, The Usos! They in truth, and Roman knows it, too, are the cornerstones of the Bloodline. They’re the ones who make everything Roman do possible. They hold Roman up now, just like Rollins and Mox did in the Shield! So let’s have a celebration for the Usos! “UCE! SO! UCE! SO!” Rollins laughs and says it is fun to say that. Roman tells “little brother” Rollins that he makes all the same excuses. Did Cena write that stuff for Rollins? Roman assures Rollins that their match at the Rumble will be 1v1. Rollins has Roman’s word.
Oh, is he gonna add a “Believe that” next? Once upon a time, Roman’s word was as good as gold, but Rollins doesn’t believe him. So Roman should put his money where his mouth is. Rollins can get a partner, beat the Usos, and then bar them from ringside at the Rumble! Rollins even adds a You Can’t See Me. Roman mulls it over, but the Usos say, “Hell yeah! Challenge accepted, Uce!” Then we have a main event! Rollins loves it! Jey says Rollins is trippin’. Ain’t nobody crazy enough to team with Rollins in the first place, so they’re good. Yes, not too many people like Rollins. But uh… Here’s KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter and Rollins hug, Kevin shouts HE likes Rollins!
Roman has them cut the “stupid music.” Nothing is final until the Tribal Chief says so! Rollins is a betting man, huh? Then let’s raise the stakes. When Rollins & Kevin lose tonight, that means Rollins loses his match at the Rumble. And Roman can go on vacation until WrestleMania! Deal? Rollins thinks, and says, “You’re on!” What a huge match on the way to the Royal Rumble! Will the Usos clear Roman’s schedule for him? Or will Roman have no choice but to do things all by himself?
Kofi Kingston VS “Mad Cap” Moss w/ “Happy” Corbin!
The Right Hand of the King will not let it stand that the literal fool of SmackDown got the last laugh last week. Before the match, Corbin says they’ve been on a roll! First, they took out Drew McIntyre. Then Moss steamrolled Sir Kofi! As incredible as Kofi is, without King Woods, the Hand of the King is just a disembodied hand. If Kofi started a Garth Brooks cover band, what would he sing? Friends in NO places! But Kofi makes his entrance, and surprise! Big E is here! Even more Raw stars are showing up on SmackDown! Will the Powerhouse of Positivity keep Corbin from helping his hyena sidekick?
The bell rings, Kofi and Moss circle. Kofi dodges Moss to waistlock, headlock, but Moss powers out. Moss runs Kofi over with a shoulder and then gives two thumbs up. Big E coaches Kofi but Moss CLUBS Kofi to the corner. Moss whips Kofi corner to corner, but Kofi goes up to missile dropkick! And LEAPING LARIAT! Fans fire up as Kofi runs, for the NEW~ DAY~ Boom Drop! Big E says to make this quick work, and Kofi claps it up. Moss slowly gets up but Corbin distracts. Moss CLOBBERS Kofi from behind! Moss throws haymakers, CLUBS Kofi down, then throws Kofi out of the ring. Moss goes out and Corbin suggests to use the steps.
Moss gets Kofi up, whips him over, but Kofi leaps over the steps to jump back and CLOBBER Moss! And then Big E sends Corbin into the steps! The New Day is all fired up as SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and Moss has a chinlock. Kofi fights up and hits a JAWBREAKER! Kofi runs, Moss gets him up for a SPINEBUSTER! Corbin is fired up and Moss taunts Kofi. Moss also taunts Big E, then he stomps away on Kofi in a corner! The ref counts, Moss lets off and runs in, but is sent into buckles! Moss staggers up, Kofi rallies with DOUBLE CHOPS! And a dropkick! Kofi runs, but Moss ducks the lariat to kick low. Moss whips Kofi to a corner, Kofi goes up and up and RANAS Moss to another corner! Then STOMPS Moss down! Cover, TWO! Moss survives but Kofi drags him up to whip. Moss reveres, Kofi leaps, but into a POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO!
Moss snarls, Corbin tells him to keep on Kofi. Moss says this is it, and he reels Kofi in. Kofi slips out of the gut wrench, dodges to TROUBLE IN PARADISE outta nowhere!! Cover, Kofi wins!
Winner: Kofi Kingston, by pinfall
Corbin gets in the ring, but Big E gets in, too. Big E dares Corbin to do something, but Corbin bails back out. Moss flounders up, Big E says this is for Corbin. Scoop and BIG ENDING! The New Day owns Corbin’s crony, will they own the Royal Rumble?
Aliyah VS Natalya!
Last time these two faced off, it lasted only 3.17 seconds because the Queen of Harts overestimated herself. Will Natty take Aliyah more seriously and redeem herself? Or will Aliyah still win, even if it takes longer than the blink of an eye?
SmackDown returns and Natty makes her entrance. Nashville’s own Summer Rae is in the crowd and is given a shoutout by the ring announcer. The bell rings, Natty kicks Aliyah then pulls her hair. Aliyah rolls Natty up, ONE! Natty bumps Aliyah off buckles, and stomps her. Natty drags Aliyah out to a snap suplex! Cover, ONE! Natty says Aliyah is gonna learn for disrespecting her, but Aliyah gets a cradle! TWO, and Natty LARIATS Aliyah down! Cover, ONE! Natty drags Aliyah up, whips, but Aliyah reverses. Aliyah runs in but Natty puts her on the apron. Aliyah throws a forearm, and hits a handspring huricanrana! But Natty’s right up, for a DISCUS! Cover, TWO!
Natty is frustrated with Aliyah and drags her up to reel her in. Natty gets a Canadian rack and uses gravity to stretch Aliyah out. Aliyah fights up, sunset flips, TWO! Natty whips Aliyah hard into ropes, then stomps her down! The ref counts, Natty lets off at 4, and she stomps Aliyah in the corner. The ref counts, Natty doesn’t let off, that’s a disqualification!
Winner: Aliyah, by disqualification
Aliyah wins again, but Natty only gets angrier! Natty fires off hands on Aliyah, and even dribbles Aliyah off the mat! But here comes XIA LI! The Protector returns to defend Aliyah from the bully, Natalya! Xia gets in the ring, stares Natty down, and then blocks Natty’s punch! Xia sobats Natty out of the ring, then dares her to try again. Natty leaves it at this, but will Xia make sure Natty learns not to cross the line?
Los Lotharios VS The Viking Raiders!
Angel Garza & Humberto Carrillo may not have won the #1 contenders Fatal 4 Way, but they can definitely be a speed bump in the road. Will Erik & Ivar stumble against these two studs? Or will they run right through the heartthrobs on their way to the Usos?
SmackDown returns as the Viking Raiders make their entrance. Nashville is ready for the raid, and the teams sort out. Humberto starts against Ivar and they circle. Humberto knees low, CLUBS Ivar, then clamps onto an arm. Ivar powers Humberto back, tags in Erik, and whip. Humberto dodges Ivar but Erik scoops him for a SLAM! Then Erik scoops and SLAMS Ivar onto Humberto! Erik roars, drags Humberto up to whip to ropes, then scoops. Humberto slips out, Garza tags in, and Humberto feeds Erik to Garza’s GAMANGIRI! Garza fires off hands, knees Erik at the ropes, and off come the pants!
Garza throws the pants at Erik, has him against ropes, and tags Carrillo. Garza holds Erik out, they LEAP FROG ATTACK Erik down! Then double basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Humberto rains down fists, then STANDING MOONSAULTS but flops! Erik KNEES Humberto down, hot tags to Garza and Ivar! The War Beard rallies on Garza, then hits a BASEMENT SPLASH! Humberto runs in, into a HEEL KICK! Ivar runs at Garza, but Garza dodges. He turns seated senton into POWERBOMB! High stack, TWO! Tag to Humberto, but Erik sneaks a tag in! Los Lotharios double whip Ivar, but he cartwheels through the double clothesline!
The Viking Raiders scoop a Lothario each, stack them on Erik, POWERBOMB POWERSLAM COMBO! Then they get Humberto up, THOR’S HAMMER!! Cover, The Viking Raiders win!
Winners: The Viking Raiders, by pinfall
Raid successful! But the ultimate challenge will be going after the gold! Will Erik & Ivar get the titles off the longest reigning SmackDown Tag Team Champions?
SmackDown Women’s Championship Contender’s Match: Charlotte Flair VS Naomi!
Adam Pearce stepped in to get past Sonya Deville’s bias, and now Naomi gets another chance! Will Nashville #FeelTheGlow now that things are fair and square against Flair?
SmackDown returns and Charlotte makes her entrance. But then Sonya appears outta nowhere and gets in the ring to talk with the ref. She wants to be the special guest referee?! Sonya throws off the jacket and the ref hands over his shirt. Naomi says Sonya can’t do this, but Sonya says she can. The bell rings, Naomi glares at Sonya, and then Charlotte ROCKS Naomi with a forearm! Fans boo but Charlotte stomps away! Sonya doesn’t count as a ref should, and Charlotte dribbles Naomi off the mat! Charlotte mocks the fans, drags Naomi into a headscissor necklock, and she RAMS Naomi into the mat again and again.
Charlotte squeezes tight, Sonya asks if Charlotte is okay, and she says yes. Charlotte TOSSES Naomi, and says this is too easy. She brings Naomi up to CHOP her in the corner. And CHOP! But Naomi kicks, Charlotte blocks, Naomi ENZIGURIS! And then RANA- NO! Charlotte blocks to a BOSTON CRAB! Naomi endures, crawls, Sonya stands in her way of the ropes! But Naomi fights through to kick Charlotte into Sonya! REAR VIEW!! Cover, but Sonya ignores it! Naomi would’ve won twice over by now! Naomi shouts at Sonya but then Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the leg! FIGURE FOUR! Sonya just rings the bell?!?
Winner: Charlotte Flair, by referee stoppage
And then Charlotte bridges to a FIGURE EIGHT! Charlotte makes Naomi suffer a little longer, and then Sonya mocks Naomi, “How does it feel to be a big loser?” What does Naomi have to do to get Sonya to stop being a tyrant?
Backstage interview with Kevin Owens & Seth Rollins.
Kevin and Seth are in a good mood, even with tonight’s high stakes tag match. Why is Rollins willing to bet his Universal Championship opportunity? Kevin asks if he can take this one. Yeah, have at it. Kevin tells Kayla that if it wasn’t for the Usos, Kevin would be the longest reigning Universal Champion of all time, but they kept that from happening. So the thought of them doing that to his friend, Seth Rollins, it tears Kevin up inside. Rollins says Kevin has become an honest man! And Rollins says that the stakes may be huge, but the risk is worth the reward. Can Rollins beat Roman with the Usos by his side? Maybe.
But 1v1, well, “Death, taxes and Seth Freakin’ Rollins beats Roman Reigns every single time!” HAHAHA! Kevin even has a shirt that says that. The friends head out, but will it be a certainty that they make Roman VS Rollins truly 1v1?
Sami Zayn heads to the ring!
The Great Liberator continues to try and out Jackass the Jackass original, Johnny Knoxville, and we’ll see how he plans to do that, after the break.
SmackDown returns and it’s time for an all-new #InZayn! Sami has a collection of items on a table and he welcomes us to “self defense.” Many may not know this about Knoxville, but before he got famous doing Jackass, he got noticed for testing self-defense weapons on himself. So Sami is going to do the same here tonight! He has some of the most dangerous self-defense weapons on the market, and some not on the market, and will use them on himself! Anything Knoxville can do, Sami can do better! Starting with a cattle prod! The max setting could put down a rhino! So just going with level one, that’s quite a lot of voltage already.
Sami aims at himself, and here goes. One, two, three. ZAP! Sami hobbles around and tries to laugh off the pain. Not great, that wasn’t fun. Sami says it’s no big deal, really. Let’s go to level two! Knoxville was incapacitated for about 15 minutes, but let’s see how a real man handles it. Sami says he’ll even up the ante by putting it to his chest! Everyone, shut up! This is dangerous. One, two, three. ZAP! Sami falls right over into the ropes! Why does it hurt so much!? Sami gets up, but here comes Knoxville! So, Sami, you are so concerned about Knoxville making a mockery of his profession, yet Sami’s doing the same to Knoxville’s? Something seems off here…
Fans rally behind Knoxville and Sami says this is HIS show! Nothing is off! Knoxville snatches the cattle prod, and says this is a legit model. But it’s literally off. Sami never turned it on! Here, Knoxville will fix that. ZAP! And Sami falls right down! Yeah, that’s not good. Knoxville “apologizes” and wants to help Sami up. Sami asks why Knoxville did that, but Knoxville says, “See you at the Rumble.” And then Knoxville TOSSES Sami up and out! Will Sami stop trying to go InZayn and worry more about just wrestling the Rumble?
Adam Pearce talks with Eric Bischoff backstage.
Eric says a pessimist complains about the wind, while an optimist expects the winds to change. A true leader adjusts the sails. Pearce likes that. But in walks Sonya. Perfect timing. Pearce properly introduces them, and hopes Sonya knows of Eric’s history as a decision maker here in the WWE. Of course, and it’s a pleasure to meet him. She didn’t know he was coming, though. Well, Sonya, what you did out there in the ring was completely over the line. Pearce doesn’t know what this issue with Naomi is, but it needs to stop. It is affecting Sonya’s ability to lead. Pearce says he’ll bring it to upper management that Sonya and Naomi should have a match, next week.
Sonya does her best not to explode, and says great. Let her know what they say. Sonya walks back out, and Eric says that was great leadership. Pearce thanks Eric for that, but will Naomi be the one who’s really thankful once she gets her hands on Sonya?
Sheamus w/ Ridge Holland VS Ricochet!
The Fella has his protégé back by his side! Will the damage to the nose be avenged? Or will the One and Only just give Sheamus some of the same?
SmackDown returns and Ricochet makes his entrance. The bell rings, Sheamus kicks low and fires off on Ricochet! Sheamus bumps Ricochet off buckles, fires more forearms, and Ridge says to unleash on Ricochet for the nose! Sheamus whips, Ricochet goes up and over then runs to KICK and CHOP and forearm! Ricochet runs, but into a scoop and BACKBREAKER! Sheamus snarls, drags Ricochet and drives elbows into his shoulders. Sheamus knees Ricochet in the back then wraps on a chinlock. Sheamus thrashes Ricochet, Ricochet fights with fists and body shots to hit a JAWBREAKER!
Ricochet runs, Sheamus scoops but Ricochet slips free to tiger wall kick! And dropkick! Sheamus staggers, Ricochet runs, but into an IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Ridge loves it and Sheamus soaks up the heat. Ricochet goes to the apron, Sheamus drags him up to ROCK him with a forearm. Sheamus gives Ricochet Beats of the Bodhrain! Sheamus stops at 9 to go out to the apron and CLOBBER Ricochet back into the ring! Sheamus drags Ricochet up in a motorcycle stretch but Ricochet kangaroo kicks free! Ricochet dodges the boot and Sheamus ends up on the apron! Ricochet triangle jump dropkicks Sheamus down!
Ricochet builds speed, and DIVES into a knee! Sheamus takes Ricochet outta the air, then puts him in the ring. Sheamus runs in and BROGUES! Cover, Sheamus wins!
Winner: Sheamus, by pinfall
Ridge celebrates with The Celtic Warrior as he rolls towards the Rumble! Will Sheamus win the Rumble once again to head back to WrestleMania’s main event?
Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs rock out backstage.
Wait, is that Double J? Jeff Jarrett is here! Double J, E, double F, J, A, double R, E, double T! HAHA~! That was good, guys. But Jeff has to say, Boogs plays a mighty fine guitar. What’s his name? Double J wants to know his name? He’s Rick… BOOGS! Well, can he spell it? R I C K- Well, anyway, will we get a duet of Boogs and Jarrett some day?
Seth Rollins & Kevin Owens VS The Usos!
The Visionary and Prizefighter want to keep Jimmy & Jey from helping out the Tribal Chief at the Royal Rumble, but Roman wants a vacation. Will the Bloodline ironically prove Rollins right by doing their cousin’s dirty work? Or will Seth & Kevin be the ones that level the playing field against the Head of the Table?
Roman is watching from his private room as Rollins and Kevin go to the ring. This high stakes main event tag match determines Rollins’ fate, after the break.
SmackDown returns and Rollins starts against Jimmy. Rollins wants Jimmy to acknowledge the fans singing Rollins’ theme. Then Rollins rolls Jimmy up, TWO! Backslide, ONE! Rollins Oklahoma Rolls, ONE! Jimmy bails out and Rollins is feeling good. Rollins gives Jimmy time to come back, Jey tags in. Fans want tables already but Jey kicks Rollins low. Jey headlocks to the takeover but Rollins rolls it to a cover, ONE! Another, ONE! A third, TWO! Jey mule kicks hard, then he RAMS Rollins into the corner! Tag to Jimmy, the Usos mug Rollins, and Roman is pleased. Tag back to Jey, they stomp away on Rollins, and then tag back to Jimmy.
The stomping continues, Jimmy fires up but fans are torn. Jimmy drags Rollins up but Rollins powers him to the other corner! Rollins fires off, tags Kevin, and they stomp away on Jimmy in return! Tag back to Rollins, he stomps Jimmy more, then lets off as the ref counts. Kevin gets up to fire up the fans, and Rollins wrenches to kick Jimmy low. Rollins scoops and SLAMS Jimmy, then goes to a corner. Rollins climbs, but Jey distracts the ref. Jimmy trips Rollins up! Kevin protests but Jimmy bumps Rollins off buckles. Tag to Jey, Jimmy ROCKS Rollins with an uppercut, then holds Rollins still for Jey’s forearm smash!
Jey CLUBS Rollins down, stomps Rollins, and tags Jimmy. The Usos mug Rollins, Jimmy bumps Rollins off buckles, then stomps him down. Fans are torn as Jimmy holds up the finger. “UCE! SO!” Jimmy runs, but Rollins LARIATS him down! Fans fire up as both men are down, hot tag to Kevin! Kevin dodges Jimmy and fires off forearms and CHOPS! Kevin whips, CLOBBERS Jimmy with an elbow and adds a SENTON! Kevin DECKS Jey, shouts “SUCK IT!” and runs corner to corner and CANNONBALL into Jimmy! Then Kevin goes up top, only for Jey to rush over. Kevin kicks Jey away, SWANTONS onto Jimmy’s knees!
SUPERKICK! Tag to Jey, and he finds Kevin on the outside to SUPERKICK again! The Usos stand tall as SmackDown goes to break!
SmackDown returns again and both Kevin and Jimmy are down. They crawl for their corners, hot tag to Jey and he goes past Kevin to DECK Rollins! Jey drags Kevin away, the ref keeps Rollins from getting in, and Jey stomps away on Kevin! Roman nods as he watches, but Kevin CHOPS back. Kevin DECKS Jimmy, CHOPS Jey, but Jey mule kicks! Kevin drops into the corner, Jimmy holds him down and Jey stomps. Tag, and Jimmy stomps Kevin down now. Jimmy rains down fists, the ref counts, Jimmy lets off at 4. Fans rally, Jimmy drags Kevin up but Kevin blocks the kick, and ducks the Dragon Whip to ENZIGURI!
Both men are down again, Kevin crawls, hot tags to Jey and Rollins! Rollins rallies on Jey, whips but Jey reverses, only to get a SLINGBLADE! And then a fireman’s carry, to a GUT BUSTER! Rollins clotheslines Jey out of the ring! Jimmy runs in but Rollins sends him out, too! Rollins builds speed and DIVES! He takes out both Usos at once! Nashville fires up as Rollins puts Jey back in. Rollins aims from the apron, springboards in, FLYING KNEE! Cover, TWO! Jey survives but Rollins drags Jey back up to suplex. Jey slips out, waistlocks, but Rollins switches. Jey switches back, back suplexes to a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!
Jey is frustrated, but he gets up and aims from a corner. SUPER- NO! Rollins blocks to kick and reel Jey in! Jey fights the bomb, Jimmy tags in! Rollins runs into an ALLEY-UCE! Cover, TWO!! Rollins survives and the Usos can’t believe it! Fans rally up, Jimmy decks Kevin off the apron to take away a tag! Jimmy goes up top, Rollins stands but he gets under Jimmy! Kevin tags in, ROLLING ELBOW from Rollins! Jey gets in, but gets a PELE! Kevin POP-UP POWERBOMBS Jimmy! Cover, TWO!! But Kevin hurries to put Jimmy in a drop zone! Kevin goes back up top, fans fire up, but Jimmy ROCKS him with an uppercut!
Jimmy GAMANGIRIS Kevin, then climbs up after him. Kevin holds ropes, and turns things around, SUPER FISHERMAN BUSTER! Kevin crawls to the cover, Jey breaks it! Fans are thunderous as Rollins tags back in! Forearm smash for Jey, then a flurry of fists and feet for Jimmy! Jey SUPERKICKS Rollins! Kevin kicks but no stunner! Kevin blocks Jey’s superkick to STUNNER anyway! Jimmy SUPERKICKS Kevin! Rollins SUPERKICKS Jimmy! ROLLING ELBOW, then the DREAM SMASHER! Fans are thunderous and singing Rollins’ theme as he aims at Jimmy, CURB STOMP!! But Roman runs in to SUPERMAN PUNCH!!
Winners: Seth Rollins & Kevin Owens, by disqualification (The Usos are banned from ringside)
Rollins was going to win, so Roman beat him to it! The Usos are still out of the equation, and the Architect is under the skin of the Tribal Chief! Will Rollins take advantage of Roman’s frustration and take away the Universal Championship?
A pretty good episode of SmackDown, though sadly a lot of it shares the same formula as Raw. The matches weren’t as long as they could’ve or should’ve been, and the promos took priority. I will say, stars from Raw showing up was quite a surprise. Perhaps a ratings grab play, maybe even an indicator that the rosters are combining into one again. But in Xavier Woods’ absence, it’s great that Big E is here to support Kofi. Kofi gets redemption in the rematch with Moss, and turns out we’re getting a tag match, New Day VS Corbin & Moss. That will be a really good match for the go-home as everyone’s going into the Rumble.
Jarrett showing up was random but they could be planting seeds for him and Boogs having something for WrestleMania. Bischoff showing up was cool, and I like that Pearce is putting Sonya in her place. Sonya again screws over Naomi but now she and Naomi are going to have a match. I just hope it lasts longer than five minutes, given how WWE is doing things these days. Aliyah gets another win because Natty loses her cool, but I appreciate that WWE remembered they were building to something with Natty and Xia. Viking Raiders get a quick win over Los Lotharios to stay warm for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship match, but it doesn’t do much to make me think they’re winning the titles.
Sheamus getting payback on Ricochet for Ridge was rather anticlimactic. It was too short of a match for what we know those two can do. And can’t Ridge get payback for himself? Why is it Boogs gets the push while partnered with Nakamura but Ridge is just around while he’s partnered with Sheamus? They should basically be parallels. And when is Sami getting his title shot? I get Sami wasn’t going to really zap himself with the cattle prod, but they used such a corny zap sound. Even when Knoxville appeared to “really” zap Sami, it was a bad sound effect. Even though Sami’s the Heel, I hope he gets to eliminate Knoxville to get that heat, and then Nakamura eliminates Sami as instant karma.
But as has been the case for SmackDown these last 508 days, the best stuff was with the Bloodline. That really was a well made video to highlight Roman’s reign, and the interplay between Roman and the Usos was great stuff. Rollins and Kevin were great as always, too, and their tag match was a great match. I should’ve figured Roman would throw the match out of frustration. The Usos won’t be part of the main event, so unless someone from Raw who doesn’t like Rollins costs him, this could be the best opportunity to take that title of Roman before 600+ days.
My Score: 8.1/10
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