Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (1/12/21)
A Dark dozen on 1/12!
In the shadow of New Year’s Smash is AEW Dark!
Before the New Year’s Smash continues on Dynamite, AEW Dark brings a dozen match-ups, with a BIG 10 Man Tag featuring the Dark Order!
- Ricky Starks w/ Hook VS Mike Verna; Starks wins.
- Jurassic Express VS RYZIN & Fuego Del Sol; Jurassic Express wins.
- Tay Conti w/ Anna Jay VS Marti Daniels; Conti wins.
- 10 Man Tag: Dark Order VS Shawn Dean, Zack Clayton, Adam Priest, Danny Limelight & Vary Morales; The Dark Order wins.
- “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs w/ Hook VS Louie Valle; Hobbs wins.
- Red Velvet VS Leva Bates; Velvet wins.
- The Dark Order’s Alex Reynolds & John Silver VS KC Navarro & El Australiano; The Dark Order wins.
- The Varsity Blondes VS Lee Johnson & Aaron Solow; The Varsity Blondes win.
- Anna Jay w/ Tay Conti VS Alex Gracia; Jay wins.
- Serena Deeb VS Tesha Price; Deeb wins.
- Bear Country VS Baron Black & Nick Comoroto; Bear Country wins.
- Chaos Project VS Top Flight; Top Flight wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Ricky Starks w/ Hook VS Mike Verna!
Absolute has the Son of Taz in his corner as he takes on the Real Man of Steel! Hook has played a small part in Team Taz’s recent wins, will he do the same this week?
The bell rings and the two circle. Starks has fans chanting for him and he thanks them, then ties up with Verna. Starks knees low, throws forearms, and strikes a pose, only for Verna to ROCK him! Verna whips, Starks reverses and blocks a kick but not the enziguri! Starks staggers to a corner, Verna runs in but only gets buckles! Starks jawbreakers, runs and dropkicks Verna down! Now Starks strikes his pose! Starks stomps Verna in the corner but the ref counts. Starks lets off and says, “Too easy!” Starks brings Verna up to CHOP, then CHOP him off his feet! Fans cheer as Starks elbows Verna, but Verna hits back. Starks knees low, throws haymakers and another CHOP!
Verna goes along ropes, and CHOPS back! Starks kicks low, bumps Verna off buckles and fires off fast hands and feet! Verna bails out but Starks stalks him. Starks RAMS Verna into the apron, puts him back in the ring, and fans cheer as Starks stalks Verna more. Verna throws body shots, but Starks blocks the suplex to give the suplex! Starks shakes his head and drags Verna up. Starks whips Verna corner to corner, strikes a pose then runs in but Verna dodges! Verna ROCKS Starks then rallies with lariats! And a spinning powerslam! Cover, TWO!
Verna fires up and he drags Starks up to a fireman’s carry. Fans rally, Starks slips off and runs to run Verna over! Starks keeps moving, Verna drops down but stands up into the SPEAR! Cover, Starks wins!
Winner: Ricky Starks, by pinfall
Starks grins and strikes his pose again. Will Absolute go from #5 contender to THE #1 contender soon enough?
Jurassic Express VS RYZIN & Fuego Del Sol!
Though it’s the usual combo of Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy now, it’ll be JB and Marko Stunt against FTR for Dynamite tomorrow night! Will Jurassic Express at least stay on track against the Priest of Sin and Fire of the Sun?
The teams sort out and JB starts against Fuego. Fans are fired up for JB as he and Fuego circle. They tie up, JB waistlocks, headlocks but Fuego powers out. JB whips Fuego, things speed up and JB hurdles but Fuego leaps. JB sweeps the legs, cover, ONE! Fuego reverses the roles and sweeps to cover, ONE! Double dropkicks cancel out, JB and Fuego double kip-up! Ryzin tags himself in and says he can do better, but he runs into an arm-drag! Luchasaurus tags, Ryzin whips JB but JB ducks the boot and Luchasaurus ROUNDHOUSES Ryzin down! Luchasaurus brings Ryzin up, Ryzin throws a haymaker but Luchasaurus CHOPS him down!
Tag to JB, Luchasaurus scoops Ryzin to SLAM him! JB hits a KNEE-BOARD SENTON! Cover, TWO! JB keeps cool and he brings Ryzin up to CHOP him! JB whips Ryzin, Ryzin reverses and gets around to pull hair for a neckbreaker! Fans boo, Ryzin taunts Stunt, then Ryzin says NO to tagging Fuego! Ryzin stomps JB down, drags him back up and scoops him for a slam. Ryzin runs to drop a leg, brother! Cover, ONE! Ryzin keeps on JB with a chinlock but JB fights up. JB throws elbows and fights free, then dodges and leaps, into Ryzin’s arms! POWERSLAM! Ryzin still won’t tag Fuego and he runs to the corner to go up and moonsault, but JB moves! Ryzin belly flops and now he tags Fuego!
Fuego drags JB up and whips him, but JB LARIATS on the rebound! Hot tag to Luchasaurus! Luchasaurus rallies on Fuego and Ryzin, CHOPS, back kicks, BOOTS! Luchasaurus tosses Fuego to a corner for fast hands! Luchasaurus whips Fuego, and FLAPJACKS him! Ryzin dodges but Luchasaurus bounces off buckles to DOUBLE LARIAT Ryzin and Fuego! Tag to JB, they drag Fuego up, but Ryzin throws JB away! Fuego lands out of the back suplex, he and Ryzin double dropkick! Luchasaurus stays up, so Fuego dropkicks a leg out and Ryzin throws Luchasaurus out! Ryzin wrecks Luchasaurus with another dropkick, then Fuego goes after JB with forearms.
JB reverses the whip to ROCK Fuego, whip, but Fuego springboards to POISON-RANA! Cover, TWO!! JB survives and Fuego can’t believe it! Ryzin grabs JB and coordinates with Fuego, but Luchasaurus intercepts! JB breaks free, Luchasaurus CHOKE SLAMS Fuego onto Ryzin! Jurassic Express get Fuego with the BACK SUPLEX BOMB! Ryzin runs in, but into a TAIL WHIP! JB puts Fuego in the Snare Trap STF, Fuego taps! Jurassic Express wins!
Winners: Jurassic Express, by submission
The team is still on track, but they’re going in with their “Fun-Sized” formation against one of the best tag teams in wrestling today! Will Jungle Boy and Marko Stunt be able to catch FTR off guard at New Year’s Smash?
Tay Conti w/ Anna Jay VS Marti Daniels!
Whether the Brazilian blackbelt has decided to #JoinDarkOrder or not has yet to be seen, but she still has her tag team partner by her side. Will Conti be rolling into her NWA Women’s World Championship match for New Year’s Smash?
The bell rings and Marti rushes Conti but Conti gets around to roll Marti up, TWO! Conti throws Marti with the drop sayanagi hat trick, then the judo hip toss. Conti sits Marti up, blows a kiss and KICKS Marti in the chest! Marti gets up and Conti storms over, but Marti ROCKS, whips and YANKS Conti down by her head! Conti staggers up, Marti rushes in but the boot gets stuck on the ropes! Conti KICKS the leg, goes out to the apron and has a HANGING KNEEBAR! The ref counts, Conti lets go at 4 and Marti hobbles away while protesting. Conti gets in, drags Marti back up but Marti SLAPS her! Marti tells Conti she will not be disrespected, so Conti fires off forearms!
Marti shoves, gets under one clothesline but not the BLINDSIDE! Conti rallies with clotheslines, dodges Marti and OVERHEAD THROWS her! Fans fire up with Conti and Conti goes up a corner. Marti runs in but Conti jumps over and rolls, to then come back with a BOOT! Conti reels Marti in, Gory Especial to the SPINNING KNEE! Cover off the #TayKO, Conti wins!
Winner: Tay Conti, by pinfall
A strong showing ahead of her big title opportunity, will Conti be a champion for the first time in her wrestling career?
10 Man Tag: Dark Order VS Shawn Dean, Zack Clayton, Adam Priest, Danny Limelight & Vary Morales!
Speaking of the Dark Order, this is literally a BIG match for them to start their 2021! Will Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, Alan Angels, Preston Vance and BOOM BOOM, Colt Cabana, start the new year on the right foot together?
The teams sort out, Stu starts and CLOBBERS Priest! And again! Stu hauls Priest up, Priest sunset flips but Stu rolls through to kick. Priest gets under, rolls Stu up, TWO! Priest arm-drags and CHOPS Stu, then whips. Stu reverses, Priest reverses back to lock up a leg and Russian Leg Sweep! Priest whips Stu, Stu reverses and hurdles to drop then CLOBBER Priest again! Priest tags out to Clayton, Stu tags in Angels! Clayton pie faces Five, but Angels throws forearms back! Clayton shoves Angels down but Angels gets up to kick and forearm! Another shove but now Angels dropkicks the legs out! Angels runs but Clayton CLOBBERS Angels!
Clayton wrenches and suplexes but Angels slips out to get around and dropkick Clayton down! Morales tags in, leaps over Angels but turns around into a dropkick! Tag to Ten, he whips Five in to forearm! Angels feeds Morales to Vance’s scoop, dropkick to FALL AWAY SLAM! Vance stalks Morales to a corner, whips him corner to corner and clotheslines! Vance whips back the other way, Morales goes up and over then dodges to mule kick! Morales goes up, and missile dropkicks Vance down! Morales mocks the Dark Order pose, runs but the clothesline doesn’t bother Vance! Morales avoids the boot, but not the wheelbarrow stungun GERMAN!
Vance looms over Morales, drags him over and tags in Uno. Uno runs in to CHOP Morales, then keeps him close with a butterfly suplex! Tag to Cabana and Cabana stays between Morales and his team. Cabana whips, body shots and runs to swinging neckbreaker! Fans fire up with Cabana as he runs around with a victory lap. Cabana cools down and brings Morales up to whip him to a corner. Morales BOOTS back, then hops up over Cabana to sunset flip! Cabana rolls through but into an enziguri! Hot tag to Stu and Limelight! Limelight springboard clotheslines Stu down! Then he dodges Vance to springboard neckbreaker! Limelight whips Stu but Uno tags in!
Uno catches Limelight for a GERMAN! Fans cheer as Uno stands on Limelight’s head then brings him up to bump off buckles. Tag to Cabana and Uno whips him in to back body block Limelight! Tag to Angels and Cabana feeds Limelight to Angels’ elbow! Cover, TWO! Angels keeps on Limelight, whips him to a corner and throws haymakers! Limelight hits back but Angels stomps him then turns him for a neckbreaker! Cover, TWO! Dean was ready to spring on him but the ref keeps him back. Angels powers Limelight to the corner, Vance tags in, and Angels feeds Limelight to Vance’s SPINEBUSTER! Angels somersaults to go up the corner and MOONSAULT onto Limelight!
Vance drags Limelight back up to bump him off buckles, tag to Uno. Limelight fights out of the Dark Order corner, but Uno blocks him, hands the foot to the ref and hits a neckbreaker! Tag to Stu and Stu drags Limelight up. Stu tags Angels, they mug Limelight, and Angels grinds Limelight with a facelock. Dean and team rally up and Limelight fights out with a forearm, back hand, and then he blocks Angels’ kick for an EXPLODER! Limelight and Angels are down, hot tags to Dean and Stu! The Captain rallies on The Dark Order with big clotheslines and elbows! Dean runs to corner dropkick Stu, then goes the other way to dropkick Uno! CANNONBALL onto Stu!
Angels gets in, Dean spins him around and around for a DDT! Fans fire up with Dean and he drags Stu up for a suplex. Stu fights free, goes Matrix with the handspring and PELES! Priest tags in but Stu tags Uno! The Dark Order all get in, QUADRUPLE BOOTS! Uno BOOTS Clayton down for good measure! Vance ripcords Priest, he and Angels LARIAT SANDWICH him! Then BIONIC ELBOW from Cabana, Uno and Stu hit FATALITY!! Cover, the Dark Order wins!
Winners: The Dark Order, by pinfall
A big win for the united front! Will they carry on in the name of Mr. Brodie Lee and make AEW theirs from top to bottom?
“Powerhouse” Will Hobbs w/ Hook VS Louie Valle!
Another member of Team Taz, and Hook, head to the ring, ready to show no one can stop FTW! Will the Hellion be little more than a speedbump as Hobbs heads for the top?
The bell rings and Hobbs CLOBBERS Valle into the corner! The ref reprimands as Hobbs grinds Valle into the buckles, so Hobbs lets off to then CLOBBER Valle again! Hobbs drags Valle up, puts him in another corner, then TOSSES him across the ring! Valle flounders and flops like a ragdoll, and he has a cut on his eyebrow! Hobbs doesn’t care that Valle is bleeding, he bearhugs and thrashes Valle around! Valle can only flail so Hobbs drops him. Hobbs makes everyone look at the blood, and then throws Valle out hard! Hobbs distracts the ref, Hook is lurking, Valle gets up and Hook judo throws Valle down! Hook puts Valle in for Hobbs, Hobbs hauls him up, scoop and POWERHOUSE SLAM!! Cover, Hobbs wins!
Winner: Will Hobbs, by pinfall
To be honest, Hook didn’t even need to get a shot in, because this was done the moment it started. “This is what I do! BLOOD!” Hobbs hauls Valle up again for ANOTHER POWERHOUSE SLAM! Will 2021 be the Year of FTW?
Red Velvet VS Leva Bates!
These two have quite a bit in common. They’re both able to be very sweet but also very spicy, and are both working hard towards the top of the AEW Women’s Division! Will Red Velvet be the one to stop the Librarian’s winning streak before it really gets going?
The bell rings and the two shake hands to show there’s respect. Leva does the stirrin’ it up and Velvet likes that. They tie up, Velvet steps through to fireman’s carry takeover then get the arm. Leva gets up, wrenches out and has a wristlock. Velvet rolls, handsprings and wrenches back to hammerlock. Velvet rolls with Leva to get a cover, ONE! Leva sweeps to cover, ONE as Velvet bridges out! Velvet Oklahoma Rolls, TWO! Velvet whips, Leva gets around and turns Velvet for a neckbreaker! Cover, ONE! Leva is a bit surprised by that but she Northern Lights! Bridging cover, ONE! Leva is again surprised, but she headlocks to grind Velvet. Velvet powers out but Leva runs her over!
Things speed up, Velvet does the splits then side steps and calf kicks! Cover, TWO! Velvet drags Leva up, whips her to a corner and hits a corner splash! Velvet does the splits as she digs her boot into Leva, then lets up at 4. Velvet runs in but Leva slips out and Velvet gets buckles! Leva roundhouses, then sweeps the legs, to slingshot and somersault, run corner to corner, and hits a swinging bronco buster! Cover, TWO! Leva grows annoyed but she waits for Velvet to stand. Velvet blocks the superkick, spins Leva and kicks. Leva blocks to sweep Velvet to a splits, BASEMENT SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO!
Leva is getting closer and she brings Velvet up, but Velvet mule kicks! AX KICK LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Velvet keeps her cool and she runs at Leva but Leva fireman’s carries! Velvet slips off whatever Leva was going for, to sweep the legs to a facebuster! JUST DESSERTS! Cover, Velvet wins!
Winner: Red Velvet, by pinfall
Sweet, sweet victory for Velvet but a bitter defeat for Leva! The streak is over already, will Leva be able to recover? Is Velvet just a few more wins away from the taste of a title opportunity?
The Dark Order’s Alex Reynolds & John Silver VS KC Navarro & El Australiano!
Numbers 3 and 4 are back in action, and are looking to keep the momentum going for the faction! Will the top recruiters convince “The Truly Blessed” and the Luchador from Down Under to #JoinDarkOrder?
The teams sort out, Reynolds starts with Australiano and they tie up. Australiano wrenches to a wristlock, Reynolds rolls to wrench back and spin him around for a headlock to wristlock. Australiano flips through, dodges the clothesline and runs Reynolds over! Australiano does a dance then a standing mariposa! Then he dodges a kick, hits a headscissor, but Reynolds handsprings to drag Australiano down. Reynolds moves Australiano around into a dragon’s lair, TWO! Reynolds dropkicks Australiano then kips up to show off! Tag to Silver and Navarro tags in, too. Silver says he’s friggin’ jacked, Navarro says he’s friggin’ BLESSED!
Well jacked fireman’s carries blessed and TOSSES him! Navarro flounders around to ropes and wants a time-out. Silver flexes on Navarro, and Navarro apologizes for talking trash. Navarro offers a handshake but goes for a kick, which Silver blocks! Silver flips Navarro, things speed up, Navarro slides under and trips Silver up! Navarro flips up and over Silver and says he’s blessed AND jacked! Silver ROUNDHOUSES Navarro down! Silver drags Navarro up, TOSSES him across the way, and flexes again. Navarro goes to a corner, Silver brings him up and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Reynolds, Silver trophy lifts and tosses into Reynolds’ CUTTER! Cover but Australiano breaks it!
Reynolds brings Navarro up to DECK him with the EuroUpper! Tag to Silver, he brings Navarro up and ROCKS him! Silver whips Navarro to ropes and back drops him HIGH! Even Silver is shocked! Tag to Reynolds, they drag Navarro up and double whip to double hip toss and toss, but Navarro dodges! Tag to Australiano and he dropkicks Silver! Enziguri for Reynolds, but Silver kicks back! The Dark Order double whips but Australiano goes up and over in the corner. Silver catches him, but Australiano gets away and Reynolds almost hits Silver! Australiano goes up top and hits WHISPER IN THE WIND on them both!
Australiano does a dance, Navarro gives him a hand to go old school, and Australiano SUPER MOONSAULTS! Direct hit on Reynolds, Navarro DIVES onto Silver! Australiano puts Reynolds in, climbs up top, and SIDEWAYS MOONSAULTS, only to FLOP! Reynolds BOOTS Australiano, but Navarro missile dropkicks him down! Navarro throws forearms on Silver, fires up then runs, but Silver trips him into ropes! Dark Order STRADDLE ATTACK DROPKICK COMBO Navarro! Silver torture racks for the INVERTED F 10!! Australiano runs in but into a half nelson, ENZIGURI, then fisherman BUSTER! Cover, Dark Order wins!
Winners: The Dark Order, by pinfall
Reynolds almost went Back to the Future with that one, but the Beaver Boys win another one for the faction! Will they find their way to the AEW World Tag Team Championships in the new year?
The Varsity Blondes VS Lee Johnson & Aaron Solow!
Griff Garrison and Brian Pillman Jr. tried to protect AEW from the Good Brothers invading, but got superkicks from the Young Bucks for it! Will the Ivy League MVP and Bulletproof BPJ blow off steam against Big Shotty and The Extra Talented?
“Pretty” Peter Avalon joins commentary because he wants to keep his eyes on the young man he’s hoping to have a Pageant Provocation with. But at the same time, he might have found another candidate in Lee Johnson. Big Shotty might make Avalon forget about Griff. The teams sort out and BPJ starts with Johnson. They circle, fans rally up and the two shake hands to show there is respect. They tie up, BPJ headlocks then holds on as Johnson tries to power out. BPJ hits the takeover, Johnson headscissors but BPJ pops out. Johnson headlocks and hits the takeover, but BPJ headscissors back. Johnson moves around, bridges up but BPJ bridges to turn for a backslide.
Johnson resists, BPJ headlocks again but Johnson powers out, only for BPJ to run him over. Things speed up, BPJ leaps but Johnson sweeps to cover. ONE, BPJ sweeps to cover, ONE! Johnson ducks a kick but BPJ avoids the dropkick, only for Johnson to kip up. Avalon is cheering, too, but Johnson and BPJ tag out to Solow and Griff. The Varsity Blondes run in, Johnson and Solow dodge. But then Solow and Johnson rush in and the Varsity Blondes dodge. All four men stand off and fans cheer. Solow SUPERKICKS BPJ, Griff BOOTS Johnson, and Griff blocks the kick! Solow dodges the punch, huricanranas Griff then dropkicks him down!
Griff flounders to a corner, Solow runs in but Griff dodges. Griff runs in to leap and lariat! Griff fireman’s carries, SAMOAN DRIVER! Cover, ONE!! Solow survives but Griff drags Solow up to wrench and wristlock. Tag to BPJ, the Varsity Blondes whip, body shot and swinging neckbreaker, then Griff drops a leg, brother! BPJ covers, TWO! BPJ stomps Solow, drags him up, kicks him down, then covers, TWO! BPJ has Solow’s arm and then shifts to a seated cobra twist. Fans rally as Solow endures, BPJ digs knuckles in, but Solow fights up. BPJ blocks the hip toss, body shots then wrenches.
BPJ CHOPS Solow to keep him away from the tag, then puts him in the Varsity Blondes corner to clothesline and CHOP! Tag to Griff, BPJ whips Griff in for a BIG splash, that misses! Solow throws BPJ out, crawls to his corner, hot tag to Johnson! Avalon is fired up for Big Shotty as he clotheslines Griff out, then DIVES into both Varsity Blondes! Johnson puts Griff in, springboards, and missile dropkicks! Fans fire up with Johnson as he runs in and CHOPS Griff! Solow tags in, Johnson feeds Griff to the scoop, neckbreaker back suplex combo! Cover, TWO! Solow drags Griff up, fans rally, Griff breaks free but the rolling elbow misses! Solow SCREW HIGH KICKS, but BPJ tags in!
BPJ springboard lariats Solow down but Johnson runs in, into Griff’s BOOT! Griff runs into an enziguri! BPJ SUPERKICKS Johnson! Solow victory rolls BPJ but Griff ROLLING ELBOWS Solow down! The Varsity Blondes coordinate, pop-up missile dropkick POWERBOMB! Cover, Varsity Blondes win!
Winners: The Varsity Blondes, by pinfall
The only relief to Pretty Peter is that Johnson was spared. But with this win, will Griff and BPJ be climbing up the tag team ranks? And speaking of Johnson, Avalon walks over to him and offers him his 8 x 10. Is Johnson going to partake in Pretty Peter’s Pageant Provocation in the near future?
Anna Jay w/ Tay Conti VS Alex Gracia!
The Star of the Show cheered on Conti, now Conti will cheer her on! The rest of the Dark Order has dominated, will Number 99 keep it 100?
The bell rings and Jay circles with Gracia. They tie up, go around, and Gracia arm-drags Jay away. Gracia waves at Jay but Jay gets up and ties up with her again. Jay arm-drags Gracia now but Gracia kips up. Jay wrenches, Gracia wrenches to sweep the legs and cover, ONE! Jay sweeps, covers, ONE! Gracia runs and arm-drags Jay but Jay dodges the dropkick. Jay fires off forearms, whips but Gracia reverses. Jay slips out to the apron, HEEL KICK gets Gracia in the mouth! Jay gets in and rallies on Gracia, then mule kicks a leg out to run and BASEMENT BLOCKBUSTER! Jay fires up, drags Gracia up and wrenches to DANGEROUS JAY HOOK KICK!
Gracia gets in a corner, Jay runs in to LEG LARIAT! Then Jay runs side to side, somersault KICK! Gracia boots Jay away, runs but into a waistlock then the QUEENSLAYER SLEEPER!! The body scissors are on, Gracia taps, Jay wins!
Winner: Anna Jay, by pinfall
The Queenslayer makes the Pink Dream’s night a nightmare! Will Jay find her way to a title opportunity in the near future?
Serena Deeb VS Tesha Price!
The NWA Women’s World Champion knows she has quite the challenge coming for New Year’s Smash, so she’s going to stay sharp and build some momentum! Will Tesha pay the price of being Serena’s tune-up opponent?
The bell rings and Tesha tells her new friend to hop off the apron. Tesha and Deeb circle, tie up, and go around. Tesha powers Deeb back but Deeb gets around to a waistlock and takedown. Deeb floats to a facelock, moves around with Tesha, then shifts to flip her over to a cover, ONE! Deeb keeps on Tesha with a headlock and takeover and grinds her down to the mat! Tesha makes it a cover, ONE, and Deeb holds on. Another try, TWO but Deeb still holds on. Tesha fights up, powers out, but Deeb throws a EuroUpper! Deebo throws more EuroUppers, then drop toeholds Tesha to get the legs! Deeb ties the legs up, grabs the arms, inverted surfboard to the cover, TWO!
Deeb keeps on Tesha, has the arm, omoplata, but Tesha gets the ropebreak with a leg! Deeb lets go at 3, and Tesha ROCKS Deeb to then run and elbow her down! Tesha rains down heavy hands, covers, TWO! Tesha grows frustrated and Deeb gets to the ropes. Tesha whips, Deeb ducks and dodges to leaping lariat! Fans fire up with Deeb and she drags Tesha up to TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! And then ANOTHER! Deeb keeps going, to snap suplex! Tesha flounders up, Deeb hoists her to the top rope and backwards. Deeb climbs up behind Tesha, grabs at the arms, and has a HANGING GORY ESPECIAL!
Deeb lets go at 4, Tesha is in a Tree of Woe but she frees herself and flops down. Deeb drags Tesha up, underhooks the arms, FACEBUSTER! Cover, Deeb wins!
Winner: Serena Deeb, by pinfall
Tesha just got a #Deebtox and the champion is rolling into her title defense! Will it be serenity now on Dynamite’s New Year’s Smash finale?
Bear Country VS Baron Black & Nick Comoroto!
The big and burly Boulder and Bronson have been impressive since showing up in AEW, but they’re still hunting that first win! Will the EmpBRUH and Freak Beast be the first ones lost in Bear Country?
The teams sort out and Baron starts against Bronson. They circle, tie up, and Bronson powers Baron to a corner. The ref counts, Bronson lets off but throws a big body shot! Bronson whips corner to corner, Baron goes up and over and arm-drags Bronson! Bronson runs back in but into a waistlock. Bronson elbows out hard, clinches and whips but Baron dodges to reel Bronson in for a knee! Baron gets Bronson in a standing cobra twist but Bronson powers out, only for Baron to ripcord, wrench and arm code breaker! The two stand up but Bronson backs off to tag to Boulder. Baron tags Comoroto in and he circles with Boulder.
Fans fire up as the behemoths tie up, are in a deadlock, and then break. They try again, another deadlock, and Comoroto shoves Boulder back. Boulder gets mad, ties up with Comoroto and powers Comoroto to ropes. Boulder gives a shove, Comoroto shoves back, and the forearms start flying! Boulder then knees low, runs, but Comoroto catches his crossbody!? For a scoop, but Boulder fights out! Boulder ROCKS Comoroto, and Comoroto staggers but elbows back! Tag to Baron, Baron gets around and he throws EuroUppers, CHOPS, and a spinning CHOP! Boulder stays up, Baron dodges his big haymakers, but not the BOOT!
Boulder drags Baron up, puts him on ropes and CLOBBERS him over and over! Boulder reels Baron into a knee, then runs for a knee lift! Boulder drags Baron over, tags in Bronson, and Bear Country mugs Baron. Bronson clamps on with a thrashing chinlock and he throws Baron down. Fans rally as Bronson stalks Baron to a corner. Bronson throws haymakers then stomps him down. The ref counts as Bronson digs his boot in, and Bronson lets off at 4. Bronson drags Baron up but Baron throws forearms back! Bronson keeps Baron from Comoroto but Baron throws more hands. Bronson dodges, Baron dodges back, tag to Comoroto!
Comroto rallies on Bear Country, throws forearms and CHOPS, then dodges Boulder to send him into Bronson! Comoroto clotheslines Boulder out, then scoops Bronson for a RUNNING SLAM! Comoroto fires up, fireman’s carries Bronson, USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up as Comoroto drags Bronson up. Tag to Baron, they double whip Bronson to a corner and Baron whips Comoroto in. Boulder saves Bronson, Bronson CLOBBERS Baron, and Boulder tags in. They whip Baron into Comoroto, Boulder hits a corner splash sandwich! Bronson is a backpack for the BEAR COUNTRY CANNONBALL!!
Boulder drags Baron out and tags in Bronson, they combine their forces again, for an Electric Chair SPLASH! Cover, Bear Country wins!
Winners: Bear Country, by pinfall
Bronson and Boulder get a big win but are hungry for more! Will they make 2021 the Year of the Bear?
Chaos Project VS Top Flight!
Luther and Serpentico are still fuming after what happened to them as part of the Go Big Show sponsored segment on New Year’s Smash! Will the Original Death Dealer and SNAKEMAN take it out on Darius and Dante Martin to end Dark? Or will the Coldest Tag Team in the Game show they’re not afraid?
Chaos Project rushes Top Flight as they get in the ring! Serpentico puts Dante in one corner and Luther puts Darius in the other. Luther whips Serpentico to back elbow Dante, then the other way to elbow Darius! Luther scoops Darius to slam him, then he scoops Serpentico to slam him onto Darius! The match isn’t even official but Darius BOOTS Luther back! Top Flight regroups, they dodge Chaos Project then double dropkick them down! Top Flight has the ring as the bell rings, they build speed but Serpentico SUPERKICKS Dante! Luther catches Darius, blocks the flips and puts him on the apron. Serpentico throws Dante out hard, then knees Darius into Luther’s KNEE!
Luther puts Darius in for Serpentico and Serpentico drops elbows. Serpentico drags Darius up, bumps him off buckles then tags Luther. Chaos Project mugs Darius in the corner, Luther kicks Darius then runs to BOOT him! Luther grabs Darius’ head for a NECK CRACKER! Tag to Serpentico, Serpentico whips but Luther reverse to back suplex, ATOMIC LEG DROP! Serpentico crawls to a cover, ONE as Darius bridges out! Serpentico drags Darius up, wrenches and throws forearms, then tags in Luther. Chaos Project chokes Darius on ropes and Luther kicks Darius down. Luther tells the ref to shut up and leave him alone as he snap suplexes Darius. Cover, TWO with another bridge!
Luther drops a knee and then shouts at the ref to count faster. Tag to Serpentico, Luther scoop slams Darius then scoops Luther for a back suplex senton! Serpentico flounders to the cover, TWO! Serpentico keeps Darius from Dante and fans rally up. Darius fights up, fights out but Serpentico knees him! Tag to Luther, Chaos Project mugs Darius and Luther chokes Darius on the ropes! The ref counts, Luther lets off at 4 while talking trash. Tag to Serpentico, Serpentico DECKS Dante, but Darius fights back! Darius forearms and CHOPS but Serpentico ROCKS him! Chaos Project double whip Darius hard, then Luther makes Serpentico a weapon again, FALL AWAY BODY BLOCK!
Darius flounders out of the ring, Luther drags him up and he tells Serpentico to run. Serpentico is reluctant, but he builds speed and DIVES, only to get Luther! Darius got away, and hurries back in the ring! Serpentico hurries after Darius, then goes past, but Dante ROCKS him! Darius tags in Dante! Dante shoulders in, slingshots up and over, then rallies with big forearms! Dante runs in to ROCK Serpentico in the corner! Dante whips, Serpentico reverses but Dante goes up and headscissors Serpentico into buckles! Serpentico flounders, Dante rocks him again, spins him around, hotshots and springboards, BIG flying uppercut! Cover but Luther breaks it!
Luther drags Dante up, whips him to a corner, then whips Serpentico in, only for Dante to put Serpentico out. Dante boots Luther, somersaults and jawbreakers! Mule kick for Serpentico! Dante throws Serpentico into Luther, then uses him as a step to hit a somersault BLOCKBUSTER onto Luther! Serpentico ends up taking a DDT at the same time! Dante covers, TWO!! Serpentico survives but Dante tags in Darius! Dante ROCKS Luther, Darius whips Dante for Dante to whip Darius, Serpentico SUPERKICKS Darius down! Dante runs in, but Serpentico puts him way out! Serpentico dodges Darius, Luther whips him and Serpentico SPEARS! Cover, Dante breaks it!
Luther throws Dante back out, then goes to the apron to CANNONBALL! Fans rally as Luther whips but Dante reverses to send Luther up and over the barriers! Darius has Serpentico, blocks the punch and enziguris! Darius brings Serpentico over, tags Dante, and Top Flight coordinates with an Electric Chair and tuck. Dante gets a boost from Darius for a DROPKICK CHEEKY NANDOS! Cover, Top Flight wins!
Winners: Top Flight, by pinfall
Air Wolf and Angel Dorado are rolling, and there’s still all of 2021 ahead of them! Will the ice cold Martin brothers get some tag gold while they’re still young?
A very good Dark, only 12 matches and just over 90 minutes is much more manageable than those extra stuffed episodes with 15+ and another hour. There were also some slightly less unpredictable matches, such as Red Velvet VS Leva Bates. Both of them have been doing good work, but Velvet having a small part in the story of Jade Cargill, the Vicious Vixens and Brandi Rhodes means she needs the momentum as a proxy for Brandi. The main event of Top Flight and Chaos Project could’ve gone either way, but the younger team needed the momentum so it was great for them to win over the more experienced Luther and Serpentico. Top Flight using that boosted dropkick Cheeky Nandos is an interesting move, but I think if they coordinate it better, it should be the legal man whipping the other so that he can also be the one to cover as the opponent falls back.
On the other end of things, it was great to see Bear Country get a win through Dark, they’re a great team that can build up the already stacked tag division. The Dark Order had a very good night again, and that 10 Man was pretty congested. Cabana is meshing with the Dark Order more, and so I hope some part of the story originally intended with him is given television time. Not to move on too quickly from Mr. Brodie Lee, but if Uno and Stu can move up as leaders and then make Cabana a new right hand man, I think that’d be good for the group as things go forward.
Conti gets a good win over the incoming Marti Daniels, and Deeb gets the same off Tesha Price, but even without these matches, I’m pretty sure their title match is going to be very good with a lot of technical skill on display. Speaking of Price, who was her sidekick and why did she not get an entrance? That’s a bit weird when it wouldn’t have taken that much to add that to Dark’s runtime. Maybe something happened to the footage at the time and they couldn’t shoot it again? Maybe we’ll learn who the guy is next time. And I like that Avalon is building the story of his Pageant Provocation by snubbing Griff and acknowledging Johnson. No idea where this will lead Avalon but it seems like the journey will be fun.
My Score: 8.2/10
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Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (3/22/23)
Independence is Dynamite!
Dream matches, grudge matches, title matches, oh my!
The AEW World Tag Team Championships, Moxley VS Grayson, Hook VS Stokely under NO DISQUALIFICATIONS, and Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo, all on one night!
- Six Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin & Sting VS The Superbad Squad; Cassidy, Darby & Sting win.
- AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Gunns VS Top Flight; The Gunns win and retain the titles.
- No Disqualifications: Hook VS Stokely Hathaway; Hook wins.
- Jon Moxley w/ Wheeler Yuta & Claudio Castagnoli VS Stu Grayson w/ The Dark Order; Moxley wins.
- Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts VS Skye Blue; Storm wins.
- Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo; Omega wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
There’s a medical emergency backstage!
Hangman Page is on the phone with someone while Brandon Cutler gets in the ambulance. Cutler tells Hangman to make sure someone’s with Nick, meaning MATT Jackson is in the ambulance! The ambulance drives away, and now Nick is loaded into a second! The Young Bucks were attacked before cameras were rolling, Don Callis calms Kenny Omega down, and Hangman rides with Nick. Omega has his main event match with AAA rival El Hijo del Vikingo, but who went after his best friends?
Six Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin & Sting VS The Superbad Squad!
Freshly Squeezed is still a champion, as he retained the now AEW International Championship in Canada. But now, a familiar foe is rearing his Superbad head once again. Kip Sabian is bringing Butcher & Blade with him to go after Cassidy while his Best Friends are down and out. But will Cassidy’s new pals be more than enough to turn back the Superbad Squad?
The trios sort out and Cassidy starts against Kip. Fans rally and chant for “FRESHLY SQUEEZED!” but Kip copies Cassidy putting his hands up. Cassidy rushes in, Kip gets around and waistlocks to headlock. Cassidy powers out, headlocks back, but Kip powers out, only for Cassidy to slip around and headlock again. Kip powers out, things speed up and Cassidy arm-drags, but Kip cartwheels through! Kip mocks Cassidy, Cassidy rushes in but Kip dumps him out. Kip fakes Cassidy out with an Arabian Press, then he mocks putting his hands up again. Cassidy rushes back in, dodges Kip now, and sends him out!
Cassidy mocks Kip, then puts his hands up. To put his hands in his pockets! Kip rushes in, Cassidy dodges and SHOTGUNS! Cassidy kips up and fans fire up, but Kip scrambles away to tag in Butcher. Butcher eggs Cassidy on, but fans cheer as Cassidy tags in STIIIING! The Icon steps to Andy Williams and Andy talks trash. Butcher swings a forearm, but Sting just brushes it off! Butcher throws another forearm, but then Sting counter punches! And back hands! And punches again! Sting kicks low, ROCKS Butcher, then fires off in the corner. But Butcher claws at the eyes! The fans boo but Butcher BITES Sting’s forehead!
Butcher BLASTS Cassidy and Darby, then mocks Sting’s howl. Butcher runs, but misses the splash! Sting runs to hit the STINGER SPLASH! Fans fire up as Sting snapmares and gets the legs! But Blade and Kip attack! Fans boo but Darby and Cassidy fight them off! Kip throws Cassidy out, Blade scoops and dumps Darby out, then the Superbad Squad coordinates. Butcher & Blade reel Sting in, Butcher tags Kip, and then they DOUBLE SUPLEX Sting! Kip goes up the corner, but Sting slow rolls away, a la Cassidy! Speaking of Cassidy, he and Darby go after Butcher & Blade on the outside! Fans fire up but Kip is frustrated.
Kip storms over to another corner and climbs up again, but Sting slow rolls the other way! Fans fire up, Darby reaches out and makes the tag! Kip leaps, Darby gets under to SLAP, HEADBUTT, roll and CODE RED! Cover, TWO! Kip is still in this and Penelope Ford gets on the apron! The ref reprimands her while Darby whips Kip. Kip reverses, Darby goes up the ropes, but Blade trips him up! Darby hits the mat hard, Kip stomps away, and fans boo while AEW goes picture in picture.
Kip drags Darby up while Butcher sends Cassidy into barriers! Kip hits a FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Tag to Blade, the squad mugs Darby, then they send him into a corner. Blade runs in to CHOP! And CHOP! And then snapmare to PENATLY KICK! Cover, TWO! Blade drags Darby over, tags in Butcher, and they DOUBLE HEADBUTT Darby down. Butcher drags Darby up to CHOP him back down. Butcher drags Darby up to bump him off buckles, then he tags Kip. Kip stomps Darby, then taunts Sting. The ref reprimands Kip but that allows Blade to CHOKE Darby! Kip howls, tags Blade, and the mugging continues.
Blade brings Darby up to ROCK him with a forearm. Blade brings Darby around to whip him to ropes, to then POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Tag to Butcher, he stomps Darby, then ties up the legs. Darby throws hands from below, but Butcher still drags him into a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Darby endures, claws his way around, but even Penelope taunts him with shouting, “TAP! TAP!” Dynamite returns to single picture as Darby crawls towards his corner, only for Blade to swing him out into a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Darby survives but Butcher tags Kip. Kip drags Darby up to wrench an arm and whip. Darby uses that to BLAST Butcher & Blade!
Kip runs in, blocks Darby’s boot and spins Darby around to back suplex. Darby lands on his feet, but his knee jams! Darby crawls and scrambles, but Kip drags him back! Kip catches Darby, Blade trips Sting! Blade sends Sting into barriers! Darby sunset flips Kip, Kip stays up so Darby lets him go to hot tag Cassidy! Fans are thunderous as Cassidy eggs Kip on! Kip rushes Cassidy but gets a buckle bump! Cassidy goes up top, and CROSSBODIES! Cassidy keeps moving, he ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl DDT! And kip up! Fans are thunderous again as Cassidy gives Kip those “devastating” kicks! But then Butcher runs in to CLOBBER Cassidy!
Fans boo and the ref reprimands, but Butcher brings Cassidy up. Butcher lifts but Cassidy fights the bomb! Blade gets in, they DRAG THE LAKE!! Kip covers, TWO!! Cassidy survives and Kip is furious! Kip howls, runs and CANNONBALLS! Fans boo but Kip soaks it all up. Kip is too busy having fun, he misses Cassidy tag STIIIIING! Sting walks up to give those same “devastating” kicks! Kip thinks it’s Cassidy, and turns around into quite the surprise. Sting “beats” his chest, Kip swings, but into a LARIAT! Sting really fires up, and he rallies on the Superbad Squad! Kip springboards, but Sting catches him! SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!
Ford freaks out, Blade gets up and throws hands, but Sting doesn’t flinch! Butcher adds on, the 2v1 is too much and Kip gets free. But Darby returns to fire off on Butcher & Blade! Butcher blocks one, CLUBS Darby and then hoists Darby up. Darby BOOTS Blade, BITES Butcher’s hand, then runs to DOUBLE COFFIN SPLASH! Butcher & Blade bail out but Darby builds speed, into Kip’s body shot! Kip avoids Orange’s punch, to suplex, STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE! Then Cassidy DIVES to take out Blade! Darby hops up to THROWBACK STUNNER on Kip, then he DIVES into Butcher!
Sting has Kip in the dragon sleeper, and fans are thunderous for the SCORPION DEATH DROP!! Cover, Sting’s team wins!
Winners: Sting, Darby Allin & Orange Cassidy
A huge win for the unlikeliest of trios, and Cassidy adorns Sting with the sunglasses! As for Darby, he is looking at the Double or Nothing banner. The Relentless One wants at MJF and the gold, will he be living it up in Las Vegas?
AEW shares backstage footage from last week.
After having his “Re-Bar-Mitzvah” interrupted by Darby Allin, Sammy Guevara and “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry, it was obvious Maxwell Jacob Friedman was mad. He curses up a storm, then says he is the world champion! But Darby Allin says the world title means much more than money and fame. It is him being him. And Jack Perry, for himself, his family, and everyone who supported him all this time, he is going to become champion on his own. Sammy says that the world title is his destiny! He said so since episode ONE of Dynamite that he is going to be world champion. But MJF says that’s not how it works! You don’t waltz up to the champ and call your shot, you EARN it!
MJF has beaten Darby, Sammy and JB once each in 1v1 competition in their AEW careers, and he tells them they have to become #1 contender. Good luck trying, because all three of them SUCK! Sammy says he’ll win as many matches as it takes to get that belt off MJF. JB says that you can check the record books. He’s already won more matches than any of them. Darby says he’s beaten Sammy and he’s beaten JB, so he will stop at nothing to make sure that MJF is no longer champion. Who of these three Young Pillars of AEW will be THE one that challenges MJF at Double or Nothing?
AEW takes a closer look at tonight’s main event dream match.
Excalibur narrates that, “In 2021, there was no one hotter in professional wrestling than Kenny Omega. Known as ‘The Belt Collector,’ Omega won championships around the world, including in Mexico, where he won the AAA Mega Championship. At the same time, El Hijo del Vikingo was quickly establishing himself as one of the premier luchadors in all of Mexico. A match was made for December 2021: Vikingo, Omega, for the first time ever for the AAA Mega Championship. Unfortunately, Omega’s injuries at Full Gear were so severe, they required surgery, keeping him out of action for nearly a year.
“Now, with Omega back at 100%, the dream match is on for tonight. Kenny Omega, El Hijo del Vikingo, live!” Who will come out as truly the best today?
AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Gunns VS Top Flight!
They may not be the Young Bucks, the Lucha Brothers or the Hardy Boyz, but Austin & Colten are the brother tag team reigning over AEW. But will they soon find out they are not nearly as good as they think they are? Or will the Gunns cause the Coldest Tag Team in the Game to melt down?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who is really the better brother duo!
The teams sort out, Austin starts against Dante, and Independence taunts the “ASS~ BOYS!” Austin tunes that out, knuckle locks with Dante, and then he CHOPS! Austin goes up and up, but then says no no no. Austin hops down, swings on Dante, but misses! Dante knuckle locks and CHOPS, then he goes up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAGS! Dante kips up and fans fire up! Austin tags Colten, but Dante arm-drags Colten down! Tag to Darius, the Martins double whip and speed things up, to then DROPKICK Colten down! Austin runs in, but into a DROPKICK! The Gunns regroup, but the Martins double clothesline them up and out!
Fans fire up as Dante says they’re getting those belts. The “ASS~ BOYS!” regroup and Colten slides back in. Tag to Austin, he and Dante circle again, and Austin gets around to shove Dante to ropes. Dante BLASTS Colten before the cheap shot! Dante then goes up and over Austin, only for Austin to pull hair! The ref reprimands, but misses Colten HOTSHOT Dante down! Fans boo as Austin stomps and Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Austin whips Dante out of the ring, then taunts Darius to distract the ref. Colten stomps away on Dante! Colten puts Dante in before anyone notices, and Austin bumps Dante off buckles. Tag to Colten, he stomps Dante, but lets off as the ref reprimands. Colten stomps some more, he and Austin taunt Independence and Darius, then Colten drags Dante up. Colten DECKS Dante, then mocks the fans. Colten ROCKS Dante, ROCKS him again, then suplexes. Cover, TWO! Colten stays between the Martin brothers, drags Dante over and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Austin, he stomps Dante now, then digs his boots in.
The ref reprimands but Austin mocks the fans rallying for Dante. Austin lets off and Colten CHOKES Dante! Colten lets off Dante before he gets caught, and Austin tags Colten in. Colten drags Dante up, whips him to ropes, and the Gunns body shot, knee lift and LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Colten stays between the Martins again, drags Dante up and whips him to the corner. Colten runs in but Dante dodges the splash! Austin tags in and hurries to stop Dante. Austin shoves Dante down, but Dante fakes Austin out to go under! Austin still grabs a leg, tags Colten back in, and the Gunns double back suplex! But Dante lands on his feet!
Dynamite returns to single picture, Dante goes over Austin, over Colten, and tags in Darius! Darius rallies on the Gunns and fans fire up! Darius hits an atomic drop on Austin, then LARIATS Colten! Mule kick for Austin, and Darius whips him at Colten. Austin reverses but Darius uses that to UPPERCUT Colten! Austin runs back in, but is sent into Colten! Darius uses Austin to get up and ENZIGURI Colten! Darius then GERMAN SUPLEXES Austin, and STANDING SPANISH FLIES Colten! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Darius drags Colten up. Tag to Dante, Top Flight double whip, but Colten ducks and tags Austin!
Darius leaps to CROSSBODY Colten! Austin runs in, but into a hall nelson SLAM! cover, TWO!! Dante keeps cool, he goes to the corner, but Colten grabs his leg! Dante kicks Colten away, Darius DIVES onto Colten to hit him into railing! Dante GAMANGIRIS Austin, goes up and up and NOSEDIVES!! Cover, Colten breaks it!! Fans boo but Colten was within the rules. Wait, is that THE KINGDOM!? Mike Bennett & Matt Taven are mugging Darius over their ROH losses! But Dante FLIES out onto them! Direct hit and fans fire up! Dante hurries back up, springboards again, but Austin gets under!
Colten gets in, Dante runs into a 3:10 TO YUMA!! Cover, the Gunns win!
Winners: The Gunns, by pinfall (still AEW World Tag Team Champions)
Fans boo that the Gunns win, but Darius is pissed at The Kingdom! Darius chases off Mike & Matt, will Top Flight get revenge in ROH? As for the Gunns, they hear FTR coming! Fans fire up again as Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler step out on stage with mics in their hands! Colten gets a mic to have the FTR music stop. Colten says no one wants to hear that song and no one wants to see FTR. Fans boo because they disagree. FTR says they’re not here to fight. They’re here to talk business. Well, no one wants to hear you talk! The Gunns don’t like or respect FTR. And guess what? FTR are LOSERS! They lost three sets of belts, and lost to the Gunns!
There is nothing FTR can say or offer them to get a rematch. NOTHING! Nothing? So like, if they said they’ll never challenge the Gunns again for those titles should they lose- NO! Do you not hear what Austin is saying, “you hillbillies? NOTHING! There’s NOTHING! What do you have to offer?! NOTHING!!” Then if the Gunns wanna prove their first win wasn’t a fluke, should they win against FTR again, FTR will never tag together in AEW again. Oh, the break up? So heartbreaking! LOOK AT HIS FACE! NOTHING!! Okay, okay. Dax says if FTR can’t beat the Gunns to win the AEW World Tag Team Championships, FTR will just quit AEW.
Fans boo, but it seems that got through to the Gunns. If the Gunns beat FTR again, FTR leaves AEW forever? Yes, that’s what Dax said. Well, in that case, deal! The Gunns and FTR shake on it, but then Gunns literally spin in FTR’s faces! The Gunns run for it, but the match is coming either way. Will the “ASS~ BOYS!” get their asses kicked? Or will they be the team that banishes FTR from AEW?
Backstage interview with Jade Cargill, Leila Grey & Mark Sterling.
Renee Paquette is with the AEW TBS Champion, her Last Baddie Standing and her legal representation. Renee says that Taya Valkyrie is All Elite now, and she has her eye on the TBS title. What is Jade’s reaction to that? “Renee, cut the sh*t. We had this Taya girl come in and interrupt my moment to answer an open challenge that was already closed, baby girl. And then, had the audacity to use my finisher. Mark, tie this up.” Sterling has a document, it is a Cease & Desist order. This will be sent to Taya Valkyrie, telling Taya that she is no longer allowed to use the chicken wing facebuster, which is also Jade’s move, as her finisher.
Leila says that she should deliver this document to Taya personally, this Saturday on Rampage. Because she has a few words of her own for Taya. So that’s an official challenge? Yes. Welcome to #ThatBitchShow. Will La Wera Loca have a jaded response to this frivolous lawsuit?
No Disqualifications: Hook VS Stokely Hathaway!
An injured arm turned into a suspension turned into a settlement turned into a high stakes bet that The Firm lost, and now it has resulted in this match. And though Ethan Page, Matt Hardy, Isiah Kassidy, Lee Moriarty & “Big Bill” Morrissey see Stokely off, they can’t stay per the stipulations of the bet. As the introduction says, “He’s not as large as the men he represents, he has the heart of a lion and the wisdom of an owl.” But will any of that help him defeat The Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil?
As Hook makes his entrance, Stokely grabs the mic to say, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I’ve got some breaking news! I spoke to Dr. Simpson (he means Sampson) earlier, and he said I am not medically cleared to compete. I know, I know. I wanted to so bad. And I would also, what a coinky-dink, announce that I am retiring.” What? Stokely thanks all 12 of his fands, God bless! Justin, here, doctor’s note. Make it official. Justin takes the note, and it reads, “He is SICK.” Justin says that with all due respect, that’s a receipt for Wingstop. The ref RIPS the receipt! And the bell rings! Fans fire up and Hook is ready, so Stokely bails!
Stokely runs around the ring, out to the crowd, but Hook pursues! Fans fire up as Hook chases Stokely down, drags him back, CLUBS him, then brings him over to KNEE and TOSS! Stokely ends up at ringside again and fans are thunderous! Hook stalks Stokely, Stokely runs in to UPPERCUT, but Stokely bounces off of Hook! Stokely scurries away, gets back up, and runs in, but into a leg capture! EL CAMINO to the floor! Fans fire up as Hook drags Stokely up, puts him in the ring, and then looks under the ring. Fans fire up more, because here comes a SPARE GUARD RAIL! Hook puts that in the ring while the Firm can only watch.
Hardy tries to calm the group down, Stokely can take care of himself with things getting “hardcore.” Ethan says no he can’t, they didn’t practice any of the hardcore stuff! Stokely bails out again but Hook puts the railing in a corner. Hook drags Stokely up but Stokely BLASTS Hook with the fire extinguisher! Fans boo but Stokely gets a chair! Stokely smacks the steps a couple times, he says, “I’m not a killer, but don’t push me! That’s Tupac.” Stokely hurries in, fans rally up, and Stokely swings, but Hook blocks! Hook BOOTS Stokely, then SMACKS him on the back! And again! And again! And again!
Hook throws the chair aside, Stokely is barely moving! But Hook drags Stokely up to EL CAMINO onto the railing! The railing BENDS! Hook drags Stokely off the railing, covers, but then pulls him up at TWO! Hook wants REDRUM!!! Stokely is OUT, Hook wins!
Winner: Hook, by submission
The FTW Champion could’ve ended it sooner, but he chose to teach Stokely a lesson: Do not get on Hook’s bad side. Hardy says Ethan must avenge Stokely! Ethan can beat Hook! Hardy is gonna get a match made right now! All Ego is ready, but will he be ready when they #SendHook?
Adam Cole is here!
Fans fire up as the Undisputed One heads to the ring. Naturally, everyone joins in on the “BOOM!” and “ADAM COLE BAYBAY!” Cole gets the mic and says, “Wow. Hey, hey, I think I know the answer to this, but who’s ready for Storytime with Adam Cole, baybay?” Everyone cheers! Cole continues with, “Seven days. We are just seven days away from me making my in-ring return here in AEW. And listen, I know I’ve talked a ton about my struggles and what I went through, but as far as how I’m feeling right now? Guys, I feel freaking great. I have never been more ready, never been more prepared, to get back in this ring, doing what I love, and that is wrestle for AEW.”
Fans are fired up, and Cole knows everyone has questions. “The biggest one being: Who is my opponent going to be on March 29th?” Fans echo, “Who? Who? Who?” Cole starts to speak, but here comes Daniel Garcia! Fans boo as Red Death has the mic to say, “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Who’s ready for Storytime with Daniel Garcia, baybay?” Garcia knows Cole’s been gone awhile, so here’s an update on a few things. Fans tell Garcia to STFU already but Garcia says since Cole’s been gone, Garcia’s become a real veteran in AEW. All the boys in the back respect him so much that he is a locker room leader!
Fans boo more but Garcia says as locker room leader, it is his duty to come out here to not only welcome Cole back, but to put him in his place, too. Garcia says Cole may not remember, but here’s an update on what Garcia’s been doing the last nine months while Cole was home, “playing stupid video games on Twitch.” Cole smirks but allows it. Brody King: beat him! Ricky Starks: beat him! Bryan Danielson: Garcia beat him, too. Garcia’s main-evented more AEW programming over the past year than anyone else on the roster! Garcia is the lifeblood that pumps through this company. And he’s to respect Cole? To welcome Cole back? Where’s Garcia’s warm welcome?
Where is Garcia’s respect when he’s been here, been doing this, and proved himself as one of the best pro-wrest- Oops. Freudian slip there? Garcia corrects himself, “Sports entertainers on the planet today!” That’s what Garcia is! So what makes Cole so special? “What makes me special? When they ring the freakin’ bell, that’s what makes me special! That’s what makes m e special.” Cole admits he likes Garcia. Garcia is really, really good. And some day, he could be leading the charge in AEW. The problem is the company he keeps.
“The Jericho Appreciation Society, they’ve done a great job of giving you this false sense of security. This overconfidence, which sometimes is good, and sometimes is bad. But let me remind you, even me not wrestling for nine months, I am still Adam Cole Baybay. I am a multi-time world champion. I have traveled the globe, fought and beat some of the very best! As a matter of fact, while I was sitting at home for nine months, I was wondering if I’d ever get the chance to wrestle again, hoping, praying, willing to do anything for a second chance. And looks like I found that second chance.”
Fans fire up and Cole says if Garcia is crazy enough to want the match, then dammit, he’s on! Adam Cole VS Daniel Garcia, first-time-ever, next week on Dynamite! But Cole will remind Garcia of something: “This is not just my return match; this is a statement. It’s a statement to the entire locker room that one of the best damn pro-wrestlers on the planet is BACK, baybay.” Fans are fired up for “ADAM COLE! ADAM COLE!” Cole hopes Garcia realizes what he’ sin for. Because Cole promises next week will be a great night. A great night for Cole, for the fans, but for Garcia… Not so much. “See you next week, Garcia. BOOM.”
Cole is ready, Garcia is ready, but will the Dragonslayer stay a great sports enner-tay-ners? Or will the pro-wrestler in him rise to the surface against one of the greatest pro-wrestlers alive today?
Alex Marvez is outside The Elite’s locker room.
Marvez can hear a conversation going on inside, and he steps inside. Callis and Omega are talking, and Callis wants Marvez to hold on. What is Omega’s concern here? Omega’s concern is that his best friends left in an ambulance! He should’ve gone with them! Callis says he sent Cutler and Nakazawa with them. Omega has a match tonight! Hear Callis out. He’s a glass half full kind of guy. Injuries happen, but hear him out. The Bucks going to the hospital might’ve been the best thing for Omega and Callis. It allows for focus! Omega is in a singles match, the God of Pro-Wrestling is back! “Those kids will be fine in a few months.”
Callis now has Marvez join in. “Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo is gonna blow the roof off! The God of Pro-Wrestling is BACK, and it starts tonight on Dynamite! Now get out.” Marvez throws this back to ringside, but is Callis only thinking of his benefit, not Kenny’s?
Jon Moxley w/ The Blackpool Combat Club VS Stu Grayson w/ The Dark Order!
The Maniac, along with Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta, have torn into the Dark Order from Silver to Reynolds to Evil Uno. They did all that to anger Hangman Page, but they’ve also angered #PlayerTwo! Moxley may be #ForgedByCombat, but will he survive someone born and bred for combat?
The bell rings and Stu RAMS Moxley into a corner! Fans fire up as Stu fires off on Moxley but lets off as the ref counts. Moxley turns things around to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Moxley pie faces Stu, but Stu turns things around to CHOP back! Stu stalks Moxley to another corner, KNEES him and CLUBS him, then stalks him to a third corner. Moxley kicks low, ROCKS Stu with a forearm, then another, then digs his boots in. The ref counts, Moxley steps off at 4, then Moxley drags Stu up to headlock takeover. Stu keeps his shoulders up, the Dark Order coaches him up but Moxley gets a knuckle lock cover. TWO as Stu gets his left arm up.
Moxley pushes the hand down, covers, TWO as Stu gets the right arm up. Moxley pushes that arm down again, covers, ONE as Stu gets his left arm back up. Stu fights to his feet but Moxley kicks low. Moxley headlocks, Stu powers out but Moxley RAMS him! Moxley runs, but Stu RAMS him! Moxley runs in, clips Stu but is sent out of the ring. Stu hurries out after Moxley, Moxley throws a chair! Stu avoids it, ROCKS Moxley and puts him in the ring. Moxley kicks back, but Stu RANAS! Stu fires forearms, CHOPS Moxley in the corner, then throws knees. Stu whips corner to corner, Moxley reverses and avoids the up ‘n’ over!
Moxley reels Stu in for a SAIDO! Stu staggers up but then flops out to the apron. Moxley runs to BLAST Stu off and to the barriers! Moxley flips Stu off while Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Yuta & Claudio taunt Stu as the ring count climbs. The Dark Order coaches Stu up and he gets in the ring at 5 of 10, but Moxley is right on him. Stu throws a forearm, then another, and another, and another! But Moxley ROCKS Stu with just one! Stu falls over and Claudio yawns. It seems this isn’t competitive enough for the Swiss Superman. Moxley has the legs, he stomps Stu in the stomach, then ties the legs up. But Stu fights back with fists! Moxley still powers Stu into the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Stu endures as Moxley sits deep, and he reaches out to the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Moxley lets off at 4.
Moxley drags Stu up to CHOP, but Stu CHOPS back! Stu fires forearms, whips, and DROPKICKS Moxley! Moxley goes to a corner, Stu is after hm with a whip, but Moxley reverses to clothesline! Moxley then brings Stu out to X-PLEX! Moxley paces around, the BCC applauds, but the Dark Order coaches Stu. Moxley reels Stu in, lifts him, and hooks the legs to hit the GOTCH PILEDRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Stu is still in this, but Moxley has the knuckle locks back. Dynamite returns to single picture as Moxley rains down the DRAGON STOMPS! Cover, TWO!! Stu hangs tough again, but Moxley just taunts him.
Fans rally, Stu rises, and Moxley KICKS him in the chest! And KICKS him again! Moxley eggs Stu on, then KICKS him more! Moxley SLAPS Stu! Stu snarls and stands up to fire off forearms! Stu whips, Moxley reverses but Stu CLOBBERS him! Stu dodges, tilt-o-whirls and REVERSE DDTS! Then he rains down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Fans fire up as Stu gives Moxley a taste of his own medicine! And then the SIDE EFFECT! SPRINGBOARD MARIPOSA! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives and Stu grows frustrated. Stu hurries up a corner, but Yuta distracts! Fans boo but the Dark Order storm up on the BCC!
Stu decides to change course, he ARIHARA MOONSAULTS onto Yuta & Claudio! But Moxley DIVES onto Stu! Moxley puts Stu in the ring, hurries after him, but Stu BOOTS Moxley down! Stu hurries back up top, for the 450 SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives again and Stu is shocked! But Stu slashes the throat and drags Moxley up. Torture rack, but Moxley slips off right into the BULLY CHOKE!! Stu endures, but he’s turning red! Moxley shifts to the facelock to throw in KNEE after KNEE! Then he shifts to the REAR NAKED CHOKE! But Stu fights up to his feet! Fans fire up but Stu is fading again!
But Stu is still on his feet, and he revives! BACKPACK CANNONBALL!! Both men crash into buckles and Stu is free! Fans are thunderous again and Moxley sputters back to his feet. Moxley brings Stu up, but Stu slips out of the underhooks! PELE!! Moxley falls down and the BCC coach him up. Stu goes back to a corner, climbs back up top, but Moxley ROCKS him first! Moxley climbs, CLUBS away on Stu, then CLAWS Stu’s back. Moxley HEADBUTTS Stu, brings him up into underhooks! SUPER DEATH RIDER!! Cover, Moxley wins!!
Winner: Jon Moxley, by pinfall
The Dark Order hurry into the ring and Moxley backs off, there won’t be any extracurriculars here. But will the Dark Order ever get payback on the mean SOBs in the BCC?
Backstage interview with Ricky Starks.
Renee says she can feel the frustration coming off The Absolute. The back ‘n’ forth with him and Juice Robinson, where do they stand? You tell him! Starks is “sick and tired of talking back and forth. No action, all talk.” Starks doesn’t wanna stand around, take time off his vacation, just to say Juice, he doesn’t like that you attacked him from behind. That’s cool and all, but whatever! How about this, though? Saturday Night Rampage, Starks is done talking. If Juice wants to face him man to man, then he can find Starks on Rampage! If not, just stop! Starks is over it, he is so sick of it! This is the craziest thing he’s been a part of his whole life!
Starks is issuing the open challenge to Juice. If Juice accepts it or not, is a man or not, Starks doesn’t give a damn anymore. The Absolute will be waiting, but will the Booster oblige?
AEW presents an all-new episode of QTV!
QT Marshall says great job last week in their debut, keep the “credibility train” rolling. CHOO-CHOO~! He needs scoops! Harley Cameron says she actually has discovered a “hot new prospect.” Goes by the name of Rey Fenix. And actually, here’s some footage. Hobbs POUNCING Fenix into buckles int heir TNT title match, and the spinebuster, and the Town Business. Everyone has a laugh, and QT says, “Imagine being in the Lucha Brothers, and your own lucha brother doesn’t come out to help you.” Aaron Solo says there is definitely some miedo! Then he laughs while also puffing mouth spray…?
QT asks who the hecc is Alex Abrahantes? Harley says Alex should work on his “character development.” Speaking of, how about Solo stealing Wardlow’s identity and freezing all of his accounts? Oopsie~! Yeah, Wardlow’s gonna lose his house and car, too! And Solo hacked into some observer’s accounts, started this whole thing about hotels. HAHA! QT just got a call from Hobbs. This Saturday on Rampage, another Open Challenge for the TNT title! Can’t wait to see who is the next chapter in the Book of Hobbs. Well, wait no longer! PENTA wants payback for Fenix as he answers the call! Will Hobbs be the one with some fear?
Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts VS Skye Blue!
The Lightning From Down Under has been striking down “spoiled rookies” again and again, but in the Dark. Will she do so again in the spotlight of Dynamite? Or will Skye roll the Storm away?
The bell rings and Storm BLASTS Skye with a forearm! Then she stomps a mudhole into Skye in the corner! The ref counts, Storm lets off but she grins and soaks up the heat. Soho & Saraya mock Skye, then Storm bumps her off buckles., Skye elbows back, fires forearms in return, and the fans fire up! But Storm knees low! Storm whips Skye, Skye kicks back! Skye ROCKS Storm again and again, but Storm shoves her away. Skye comes back, spins Storm for a KNEE SMASH and a DROPKICK! Storm bails out, fans fire up and Skye goes to the apron! FLYING RANA! Fans fire up with Skye but Saraya is mad.
Skye puts Storm in the ring, climbs up the corner, but Storm ROCKS her! Skye falls to the apron, then Storm HIP ATTACKS Skye to the floor! Storm distracts the ref, allowing Soho & Saraya to stomp away on Skye! Fans boo but the Outcasts get away with it! Saraya says, “This is OUR house!” Storm goes out to fetch Skye, and RAMS her into the apron. Storm CHOPS Skye against the post, then bumps her off the other. Storm CHOPS Skye again! Saraya says do it again! Storm puts some stank on this one, but Skye ducks, so the chop hits POST! Saraya & Soho panic as Storm clutches her fingers! Skye then runs in, but Storm dodges so Soho gets DECKED!
Storm CLOBBERS Skye from behind while the ring count climbs. Storm refreshes the ring count, Saraya shouts at Skye, and Storm CHOPS Skye again. Storm stalks Skye around the way as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Storm drags Skye around to snap suplex her to the floor! Storm flexes, perhaps taunting Jamie Hayter wherever she’s watching this from, and then she goes back for Skye. Storm puts Skye in the ring, flexes more, then drags Skye up. Storm whips Skye to ropes, BOOTS her down, covers, ONE! Cover again, TWO! Another cover, TWO!! Skye is still in this but Storm clamps on with a full nelson. Storm leans on the hold, thrashes Skye around, but Skye endures. Skye fights up, but Storm throws her down by her hair! The ref reprimands but Storm just stalks Skye. Storm kicks Skye around, has her in the corner, and digs her boot in.
The ref counts, Storm stomps but lets off at 4. Storm drags Skye up to snap suplex! Storm grins then stalks Skye. Storm drags Skye up to snap suplex again! Storm flexes more, stalks Skye to another corner, then wrenches her hair to TOSS her across the way! The ref reprimands but Storm just wrenches hair and TOSSES Skye again! Dynamite returns to single picture as Storm soaks up the heat. But Skye shoves Storm down! And then TOSSES Storm by her hair! And again! Skye fires up, runs corner to corner, but Storm puts her on the apron. Skye ROUNDHOUSES! Skye climbs up, to CROSSBODY!
Fans fire up, Skye keeps moving, she ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl headscissor! Storm ends up on ropes, Skye runs to SHINING WIZARD! Snapmare and SUPER- NO, Storm blocks and spins Skye, but Skye BASEMENT ENZIGURIS! Cover, TWO!! Storm survives and Skye grows frustrated. Saraya & Soho are also frustrated, they rally for Storm but the fans rally for Skye. Saraya tells the fans to shut up! Skye runs, hops on, but Storm shrugs her off! Skye SUPERKICKS! Skye runs, into a THESZ PRESS! Storm rains down fists, then she snarls as she stands back up. Storm gets the legs, but Skye kicks her away!
Skye runs in, only for Storm to spin her around! Storm uses the ropes, TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!! Skye survives and fans fire up! Saraya is furious but the ref says the count was fair. Skye goes to a corner but Storm says kiss this. SWEET HIP- NO, Skye picks the ankle! Skye KNEES Storm, runs, avoids Soho’s swipe, and she hits CODE BLUE!! But Soho is still distracting the ref!! Skye would’ve had this if not for Soho! Skye gets in Soho’s face, swings at her, but Storm runs in! Skye sends Storm into Soho, rolls and bridges, TWO!!! Storm stands, into a BOOT! Skye full nelsons, Storm arm-drags free to SHOTGUN Skye down!
Saraya says Storm has this now! Storm says kiss this, and here comes SWEET HIP MUSIC!! GERMAN SUPLEX, and then STORM ZERO!! Cover, Storm wins!
Winner: Toni Storm, by pinfall
The Outcasts with the assist, but now they bring out the spray paint! Fans boo as the Outcast scare off the ref, then surround Skye! But here comes Riho and Willow! Just like last week, Riho has the pipe!! Riho runs the Outcast off and warns them. The Outcasts leave for now, having gotten the win. Will Riho, Willow and Skye start thinking of sticking together from now on?
The AEW medical staff checks on Stu Grayson.
They’re working on his left arm, where did they feel it pop? But then Moxley sneaks up to say, “It’s just business.” And he puts on the SLEEPER!! Claudio & Yuta TOSS the medics aside! Stu is all alone as Moxley chokes him out, then SMACKS him off a trunk! The BCC give Stu the icepack back then leave, what will Hangman & the Dark Order have to say about this?
Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo!
The AAA Mega Championship match that was meant to happen in December of 2021 was denied because of injury and misfortune. But now we are all fortunate enough to have this match happen here! “HE was the longest reigning Mega Champion at 765 days, 292 days more than El Hijo del Vikingo. HE never lost that title. HE is undefeated in singles matches in Mexico and also on Dynamite. Many people say HE is also undefeated at life. HE is often complimented on his accomplishments, matches, chiseled physique and hair, yet he is personally proud of his win-loss record in Independence, Missouri, which is better than his record of 1-1 in… NOOOORTH CAROLINA~!
“He arrives tonight after his 833 mile journey from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Weighing 224 pounds, HE is…! KENNY! OOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEGAAAAAA~!” The fans go wild for the Cleaner, the Best Bout Machine, and Don Callis’ God of Pro-Wrestling, but will Omega prove he is better than the Mega Champion?
But as Omega makes his way down the ramp, El Hijo del Vikingo DIVES onto him! Fans fire up, EHDV throws off his cape, then he runs again, to FLY! Direct hit again and Independence is thunderous! EHDV puts Omega in the ring, springboards and MISSILE DROPKICKS! Omega ends up in a corner, EHDV runs in to clothesline! EHDV fires off forearms, but Omega turns it around to fire them back! The ref wants them to let off, this isn’t a match yet! Omega rains down fists, lets off, and now the bell rings! Fans are thunderous as Omega stomps EHDV down. Omega drags EHDV up, whips him corner to corner, but EHDV slips out to the apron!
Omega hits buckles, then EHDV ENZIGURIS! And GAMANGIRIS! EHDV climbs up, and jumps to IMPOLODER DRAGONRANA! Omega goes flying, then staggers up into the SCREW HIGH KICK! Omega’s on the ropes, EHDV runs to DOUBLE KNEE him through the ropes! Omega falls to the floor, EHDV refreshes the count, and fans say “This is Awesome!” EHDV SHOOTING STAR PRESSES to the floor! A bit double-edged, but fans lose their minds! Callis protests, the ring count climbs, but EHDV puts Omega in the ring. EHDV aims, slingshots and then springboards to 450 SPLASH! Cover, TWO!!
Omega goes to a corner, EHDV runs in to GAMANGIRI again! Omega staggers away, EHDV pursues but Omega CHOPS! And CHOPS again! EHDV falls over but Omega stalks him to a corner. Omega brings EHDV up to JAB! And JAB! fans rally and duel, Omega drags EHDV up to whip. Omega scoops EHDV for a tilt-o-whirl BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Omega drags EHDV back up fast, to fisherman BUSTER! Cover, TWO! EHDV hangs tough and Omega is frustrated but the fans are loving this. Omega stalks EHDV to the ropes, scrapes him to the apron, and then Omega goes out to follow EHDV.
Omega CLUBS EHDV, and whips him hard into barriers! EHDV falls in a heap, but Omega goes looking under the ring. Omega brings out a TABLE! Fans fire up for that, and Omega stands that table up near the ring. The ref reprimands, this isn’t a Tables match or anything like that. But fans chant, “WE WANT TABLES!” as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Omega drags EHDV up, puts him in the ring, and Omega storms up to scoop and BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Omega clamps on with an armlock and chinbar, but he also fishhooks EHDV’s face! The ref reprimands, Omega lets off, but then pulls on EHDV’s hair! The ref counts but Omega lets off at 4. Omega looms over EHDV, stomps him, stomps him more, then springboard stomps! Omega drags EHDV around to KNEE him in the side! And again! Cover, TWO! EHDV hangs tough but Omega just snarls. Omega drags EHDV up to CHOP him back down! Omega drags EHDV up again to CLUB him back down!
Omega drags EHDV up at the ropes, ROCKS him with a right hand, then ROCKS him again! And again! And again! The ref reprimands and counts, Omega lets off, but then Omega CHOKES EHDV with his foot! Dynamite returns, the fans boo and the ref counts, but Omega lets off at 4 again. Omega ROCKS EHDV again, JABS him, then whips him to ropes. EHDV ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl RANA! Omega goes to the apron, fans fire up as EHDV pursues! EHDV ROCKS Omega, but Omega tomahawk chops back! EHDV CHOPS, but Omega CHOPS! EHDV CHOPS back, so Omega BOOTS him! Omega runs in, goes up, and he MONKEY FLIPS EHDV on the apron!
EHDV falls to the floor while fans lose minds over how tight that one was. Omega drags EHDV up to the apron, and he grins as he looks at the table he set up. Omega drags EHDV up, the ref reprimands but Omega full nelsons! EHDV slips free to GAMANGIRI again! EHDV goes up top, balances on the post, and FLYING DRAGONRANAS!! Fans are thunderous as Omega hits the floor! Omega flounders into the ring, EHDV shoves him further in. Fans say “This is Awesome!” as both men go to corners. EHDV runs corner to corner to clothesline! EHDV hoists Omega up top, and GAMANGIRIS yet again!
EHDV climbs up after Omega, fans fire up again as they start to brawl! Omega HEADBUTTS, reels EHDV in, and SUPER POWER- STEINER!!! EHDV reverses just in time, Omega clutches his head! EHDV goes to the ropes, stands from the middle and PHOENIX SPLASHES in!!! Cover, TWO?!?! Omega survives by nanoseconds!! Independence is electric as both men rise up! They hope these two “FIGHT FOREVER!” but it has to end somehow! EHDV throws a forearm, a SOBAT, and then he runs to springboard, into a POWERBOMB!! And then another POWERBOMB! Roll through and V-TRIGGER!! Cover, TWO!!!
Omega is furious as EHDV survives! Omega slashes his throat, drags EHDV up, and he full nelsons for a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Omega snarls, he puts EHDV on the ropes and takes aim. BANG and V-TRIGGER!! But that’s not the end of it! Omega drags EHDV up, deadweight as he is, and Electric Chair Lifts! But EHDV throws down fists! EHDV hops down, UPPERCUTS, then goes up and up to FLYING POISON-RANA!!! Omega tumbles to the apron, and EHDV crawls over to push him onto the table! EHDV builds speed while fans fire up, and he goes up to ESCALARA 630 SENTON through the table!!!!
Independence is volcanic for “A E DUB! A E DUB!” while Callis is freaking out! Both men are down in the wreckage as the ring count starts. EHDV crawls away at 3 of 10, Omega finally stirs at 4. Both men drag themselves up at 6, stand at “OCHO!” And both men slide in at 9! EHDV covers, TWO!!! Omega is still in this and EHDV is beside himself! Fans rally up, both men rise again, and EHDV throws a haymaker! Omega gives it back, they go back and forth, faster and faster! They go forearm for forearm, stand up, and keep throwing shots! EHDV gets the edge, SOBATS, runs, into a V-TRIGGER!!
Omega whips, EHDV rolls up and SUNSET FLIP BOMBS! TWO?!?!? Omega narrowly escapes again and even HE is shocked! But EHDV hurries to a corner and climbs up top! Omega flounders in the drop zone, EHDV 630 SENTONS but FLOPS as Omega moves!! EHDV flounders up, into a V-TRIGGER!!! Omega drags EHDV up, Electric Chair Lifts, ONE WINGED ANGEL!!!! Cover, OMEGA WINS!
Winner: Kenny Omega, by pinfall
This was a dream match the moment it was made, but this became an all-time classic by the end! Tony Schiavone joins Callis and Omega in the ring to say this was an incredible match. Omega is back in singles competition, and that was one for the ages! Omega thanks Schiavone for that. The more time goes by, the more he wonders if he can still do this kind of stuff for the fans. Wait, wait! THE BCC JUMPS OMEGA!! Moxley, Claudio & Yuta all mug Omega, and fans boo while Callis can only shout at the ref to stop this! The BCC stand Omega up so they can throw body shots and haymakers!
Fans continue to boo, but wait! Sirens? An ambulance has returned? For who? Wait, HANGMAN is driving it!! The Cowboy has a 2×4, with nails in it! Fans are going nuts for “COWBOY SH*T!” while the BCC stomp away on Omega. But here comes Hangman, wood in hand! The BCC decide to bail! Callis checks on Omega but the damage has been done. Hangman wants Moxley to get his ass back in here, but he stays back. Callis tries to calm Hangman down, but he almost gets 2×4 to the face! Callis keeps pulling at Hangman’s arm to hold him back, but Hangman shakes free and Callis falls right down! Omega comes to, and misunderstands why Callis is down!
Callis blames Hangman but Hangman says he didn’t do anything to Don! Omega and Hangman argue, Callis cowers behind Omega, and Omega takes Callis’ side. Fans boo, but is this just Callis keeping Omega all to himself?
A great episode of Dynamite, but it already feels like they’re gonna keep things going until Double or Nothing, no big thing for April. We got a great promo out of the Four Young Pillars, and MJF is making the other three run the #1 contender race like he did Bryan Danielson from now until, I dunno, probably May 3rd so that May can focus on building MJF VS his challenger. Hard to say who it’ll be, but Darby’s off to a good start with that great Six Man Tag. Darby, Sting and Cassidy made an eclectic but great combination, especially with Sting borrowing some Freshly Squeezed tactics. And Cassidy’s International Championship card is open to just about anyone at this point.
Really good tag title match, but I should’ve figured shenanigans would help The Gunns retain. The Kingdom and Top Flight are solidly ROH Tag title contenders with #ReachForTheSky needing teams. Plus, The Gunns’ real story is with FTR, who came back to have a really good promo with them. Gunns VS FTR, Titles VS AEW contracts could honestly go either way. There’s a lot of talk out there of FTR going back to WWE since it’s under HHH right now, so this move could be how FTR exits AEW, but this could also be what guarantees FTR staying. Either way, this is going to be some really big stuff for the titles.
Good promo from Jade and her group, and you do have to appreciate Sterling’s gimmick of bringing about frivolous lawsuits on behalf of people to poke fun at wrestling tropes. The security guards finally got justice, even though they also got crushed by Wardlow, and now finishers that are exactly the same but with different names are being questioned. Pretty sure Leila loses the match and Taya tears up that document, though. Then it’ll be about who hits the chicken wing facebuster first to win that title. Jade has done an amazing job being an undefeated inaugural TBS Champion, but now is the time to move on to someone else so Jade can move on to the top title.
Great segment out of Hook, Stokely and The Firm. Great show from Stokely with trying to weasel out of this, then trying to run away from this, but of course he gets thrown around. Awesome use of spare guard railing, though. I figured Hook VS Ethan was going to be how this wraps up, can’t wait to see how that goes. And I appreciate Starks getting a little meta on the bad pacing of feuds. Starks VS Juice for Rampage, if it happens, will be great stuff, and maybe shenanigans helps Juice win to keep this going. Though, I feel like Starks and Juice could each be doing something better than spinning their wheels with each other. Give me Starks VS Hobbs and Orange VS Juice for those respective titles.
Speaking of which, only the second QTV segment and I’m just done with it. But they did point out the weird logic of Penta not being out there with Fenix last week. Penta VS Hobbs will probably go the same as Fenix VS Hobbs did, and Wardlow will come back for revenge. Also, another wrestling trope that needs poking at: Solo confessed to illegal activities but he won’t get investigated or arrested because it’s wrestling. If Sterling were a Face lawyer, he’d be right on Solo’s ass. But maybe Wardlow beats the crap out of Solo as his punishment, then he gets his shot at Hobbs at Double or Nothing to put this story to rest.
Great promo from Cole and Garcia, and I appreciate they had Garcia have that slip of the tongue. Garcia is of course enjoying the fun side of being a sports entertainer, showing off his personality and just doing whatever shenanigans he wants, but he also clearly enjoys the pro-wrestling stuff of just fighting. Garcia VS Cole is going to be awesome stuff, but Garcia and the JAS also have their story with the House of Black so who knows how the finish goes. Great match out of Storm VS Skye, and Skye looked great even in defeat. Another inconsistency in wrestling logic: Riho & Willow should’ve been ringside to start because they know The Outcasts will be up to no good. But I suppose that does give Riho & Willow their moment of heroism in running the Outcasts off.
I bring up that inconsistency in logic because that match was after Moxley VS Grayson, where both men had their allies ringside. The men can think to bring their boys but the women’s division can’t think to bring their friends along, when we’ve also always seen Britt have Rebel and/or Hayter and vice-versa? Anyway, great stuff out of Moxley VS Grayson, and Grayson also looked awesome even in defeat. The BCC apparently went after everyone Hangman considers a friend, as the Bucks were taken out off-camera by them, and then the BCC jump Grayson.
And then, for being a non-title TV main event, Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo went above and beyond anything I would’ve expected. There were some scary moments, like that Super Steiner counter to the powerbomb. But then again, it wouldn’t feel like an AAA match if there wasn’t some risk like that. BCC jumping Omega after he wins was a good way to keep the Elite reunion story going, but now there’s the new wrinkle of Don Callis wanting Omega to stay a singles star. To be fair, this is very much like the story of Callis, Omega and The Elite when AEW first got started. Callis wants Omega to return to that Omega, and he throws Hangman under the bus.
Another pro-wrestling logic thing is that no one watches the show back when it’s done, unless it helps the story. And I would hope Omega does that here to see what really happened as opposed to just trusting Callis and distrusting Omega. Or if not Omega, the Bucks can. The Bucks will have seen it on TV at the hospital (kayfabe) and The Bucks will tell Omega that Hangman didn’t hit Callis. Callis is also trying to recruit Konosuke, so it’d be great if Callis only comes out of this with one client. If Omega realizes not to trust Callis over The Elite, then Callis and Konosuke can stick together. If Omega still keeps Callis around, Konosuke can reject Callis to stay his own man.
My Score: 8.9/10
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Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (3/21/23)
Toni Storm gets Dark!
AEW Dark is on #ToniTime!
The Outcasts have drawn a line in the AEW Women’s Division, and are daring everyone else to cross it! Will Toni Storm strike down another “entitled rookie?”
- Juice Robinson VS Leon Ruffin; Juice wins.
- Kiera Hogan VS Leila Grey; Leila wins.
- The Iron Savages VS The Wingmen; The Iron Savages win.
- The Renegades VS Avery Breaux & Mafiosa; The Renegades win.
- Toni Storm VS Billie Starkz; Storm wins.
Another surprisingly short line-up for Dark, with a couple matches that could go either way. The Iron Savages, formerly Bear Country, and the Wingmen will be a good one, but I’m leaning towards Bronson & Boulder winning that. Kiera Hogan VS Leila Grey, former Baddie taking on Jade’s last sidekick standing, could also go either way, but I’m leaning towards Kiera. But it’ll be good to see Robyn & Charlette Renegade get a win here to build that unofficial Women’s Tag Division AEW has.
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March Madness Bracket Mania and NFL free agency highlight the conversation between the Brothers Wortz, this week on DTW.
Triple Grit Trivia: The Wortz Bros (Hosts ReyCash & PC Tunney)
Rey Cash & PC Tunney host as the Brothers Wortz battle it out in the game of sporting wits, TRIPLE...
Hockey Talk- Triple Play 
What happens when talking about hockey just isn’t enough? You get this week’s Episode of Hockey (Sports) Talk where the...
Bandwagon Nerds #175: Affleck is DC Done
On this week’s Bandwagon, Patrick, Tunney and Dave continue their coverage of The Mandalorian. Why do the nerds think this episode...
Talk the Kēki: Tokyo Revengers, Kubo Won’t Let Me Be Invisible, More!
No breaks for Ethan and Mat this time, as we have another episode of Talk the Kēki!
Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Kamelot – The Awakening (2023)
Will this be The Awakening of my enjoyment of post-Roy Khan Kamelot...or does the JAR continue to cherry pick?
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (3/17/23)
One round left before the finish!
Bandwagon Nerds #174: Bob Iger’s Plan
Bob Iger announces his vision for Disney films and specifically talked about the MCU and Star Wars. What could it...
Andrew’s IMPACT Sacrifice Results & Match Ratings: 3.24.2023
Well damn, 24 hours changes everything! Josh is injured and has to vacate the World title! Mickie is also injured...
Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/24/23)
It's a family feud!
Mindless Wrestling Podcast: Don’t Be A Creepy Fan!
This week on The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, we talk about obsessive, creepy fans who pick the worst times to ask...
Andrew’s IMPACT Match Ratings & Results: 3.23.2023
The Go Home to Sacrifice! PPV this week, Mania weekend special next week! Fun times for Impact!
Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (3/23/23)
(NOAH) NOAH NEWSLETTER VOL.195 ~ 22ND MARCH 2023
New champions, All Japan interactions, new debuts and Joshi in NOAH! NOAH is heating up in 2023!
Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (3/22/23)
Independence is Dynamite!
Mitchell’s WWE NXT Results & Report! (3/21/23)
Time for a grudge match!
Mitchell’s NJPW New Japan Cup Results & Report! (3/21/23)
It all comes down to this!
Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (3/21/23)
Toni Storm gets Dark!