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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/18/21)

Will Raw be on fire tonight?

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Coverage Raw 2021

Will Alexa Bliss have a twisted surprise for the Raw Women’s Champion?

She gave Randy Orton a taste of his own medicine, but she might be hungry for something more! Will Alexa be ready for Asuka and earn herself a shot at the title?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Charlotte Flair VS Peyton Royce; Charlotte wins.
  • Xavier Woods VS Mace w/ Retribution; Mace wins.
  • Mandy Rose w/ Dana Brooke VS Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax; Baszler wins.
  • Ricochet VS AJ Styles w/ Omos; Styles wins, Ricochet is NOT in the Men’s Royal Rumble.
  • Six Man Tag: The Hurt Business VS Matt Riddle & The Lucha House Party; The Hurt Business wins.
  • Jeff Hardy VS Jaxson Ryker w/ Elias; Hardy wins, by disqualification.
  • Asuka VS Alexa Bliss; Bliss wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

“Now is the time.”

Martin Luther King Jr’s dream lives on, but only if we live it. Do not judge by the color of one’s skin, but by the content of their character. We will reach the promised land together. #LongLiveTheDream.

 

Randy Orton speaks.

“There is a saying that people who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. Ashes of the one responsible for their affliction.” Orton wears a mask to cover his burned face. “The voices in my head have never been louder. Encapsulating my every thought, just like this mask encapsulates my face.” Orton held Alexa Bliss’ fate in his hands, yet showed a side of himself he didn’t know he had: compassion. Orton rewatches the footage for himself. The hatred he had for himself needed to be redirected, and he was ready to make Triple H “like a lamb to the slaughter, until she interrupted.”

It was only just last week that HHH was shockingly spirited away so that Alexa could throw a literal FIREBALL at Orton! “And now look at me. LOOK AT ME! This is the damnation I receive for showing compassion? I haven’t been able to sleep because every time I close my eyes, all I see is that ball of fire hurtling towards my face.” Orton seethes as he says “that inescapable feeling of the fire burning my flesh will never go away.” Whatever compassion was in him, it left with that inferno. Orton wears this mask to not only protect himself, but to shield everyone else from the horrors that he endured.

Orton watches himself from last week flail and writhe as he clutched his face in pain. “Despite the agony I felt that would mortify a lesser man, I consider myself… lucky.” Orton came away with just first degree burns and not much worse. He could’ve been disfigured forever! But Orton doesn’t blame Alexa. He blames THE FIEND! Orton already sent him straight to Hell. “There’s no doubt The Fiend is responsible for this. Alexa was merely the vehicle. And I know exactly what The Fiend wants. He wants to stop me from achieving the inevitable.” That is to say, winning the Royal Rumble again, going back to WrestleMania, and becoming a world champion.

Orton is sure everyone else in the locker room loved seeing his face burn, “knowing that their biggest threat may have just been eliminated from competing in the Royal Rumble match. But you could chop off all my limbs and it wouldn’t stop me from winning this year’s Royal Rumble match. Because despite my sickening affliction, I vow to remain in the Royal Rumble match. I can only compete as long as I can tolerate the pain, but the funny thing is… I enjoy the pain. It fuels my every move.” Orton has a match! Orton wants everyone to thank The Fiend when he burns their dreams to ashes and goes on to main event WrestleMania! He lights the match, watches it burn, then blows it out. Will this new, even darker Orton extinguish 29 other lights before going back to the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

Ric Flair arrives at the ThunderDome, with Lacey Evans!

Lacey wants to hear some Four Horsemen stories but Charly Caruso comes over to ask about this “relationship” first. Lacey says that’s so nasty. This isn’t TMZ. This is beneath Charly! Charly is compelled to ask because Ric helped Lacey beat Charlotte Flair, his own daughter! Lacey says to show respect to the 16-time world champion, and a living legend. But to answer the question, there’s a reason Ric is the Dirtiest Player in the Game. He was just living up to that name. As far as the relationship goes, Lacey is simply learning from the greatest man to ever step in the ring. Now, they are going to go watch Peyton Royce knock the nasty Queen of her throne.

Charlotte Flair VS Peyton Royce!

But speaking of dirty, Peyton attacks Charlotte from behind at the ramp! They brawl, referees hurry to separate them but this match is going to happen, after the break!

Raw returns and the bell rings and Charlotte tackles Peyton to a corner! Then stomps away on her! The ref backs Charlotte off but she goes right back for more! She RAMS Peyton, RAMS her again, but Peyton sends Charlotte into buckles to fire stomps back! The ref counts, Peyton stops at 3 and brings Charlotte out to hammer away. Charlotte trips Peyton, gives some ground ‘n’ pound, then tackles her to ropes! They spill out of the ring and Charlotte CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Charlotte puts Peyton in but Peyton rolls out the far side. Charlotte pursues but Peyton kicks back, only for Charlotte to CLUB her, and bounce her off the desk!

Charlotte stalks Peyton around the way, they go back in the ring, then back out the ramp side. Another CHOP, CHOP and CHOP into the post! Peyton shoves Charlotte into the post, then into the ring! Cover, TWO! Charlotte is still in this but Peyton drags her around to drop elbows. Peyton puts on a thrashing chinlock but Charlotte endures. Charlotte fights up, arm-drags free, and CLOBBERS Peyton! Charlotte looms over Peyton, drags her up and bounces her off buckles. Charlotte bends Peyton against ropes, lets go at 3, and brings Peyton around for another buckle bump! Peyton dodges, Charlotte hits buckles, and Peyton throws Charlotte down by her hair! Cover, TWO!

Peyton is frustrated but she kicks Charlotte down and around. She pushes Charlotte to ropes, bumps her off buckles in return, then digs her boot into Charlotte’s face! The ref counts, Peyton lets off and bumps Charlotte off more buckles. Peyton whips corner to corner, Charlotte goes up and out to shoulder back in! Slingshot and roll up, TWO, but Charlotte ROCKS Peyton with a right! Charlotte blocks boots, has Peyton in the ropes, DRAPING NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! But now Ric makes his entrance?! Ric swaggers on stage and Charlotte is annoyed, because here comes Lacey in one of Ric’s robes!

Charlotte is confused as ever, but Peyton catches her with the HEEL KICK! Cover, TWO!! Peyton is furious that Charlotte survives and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Peyton goes to buckle bump but Charlotte blocks to CHOP! And O’Conner roll, TWO! Charlotte goes into buckles but she dodges to send Peyton back into buckles! Both women are down and Peyton crawls away. Charlotte gets up, checks her nose, and then goes after Peyton. Peyton jawbreakers, whips, but Charlotte holds ropes to KICK back! Peyton dodges to HEEL KICK back! Peyton runs but Charlotte puts her on the apron, but Peyton SCORPION KICKS! Peyton goes up, leaps, but Charlotte gets under! Peyton turns around into the backbreaker and BUCKLE SHOT! Cover, TWO!

Charlotte watches Peyton go to the apron, runs in and BOOTS her down! Charlotte dares Lacey to do something again, but no, Lacey stays in the back this time. Peyton drags herself up as the ring count is 8 and is in at 9, but gets stomped by Charlotte! Charlotte puts Peyton’s leg on the rope, then drops a knee, only to miss! Peyton mule kicks then hobbles away from her back hurting. She dodges Charlotte’s clothesline to elbow, kick and HEEL KICK, to then ENZIGURI! Cover, TWO!

Peyton is furious and she drags Charlotte up to suplex. Charlotte slips out to CHOP BLOCK the leg! Knee breaker after knee breaker, Charlotte shows no mercy! Charlotte steps through, Figure Four, to FIGURE EIGHT! Peyton taps, Charlotte wins!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission

But she doesn’t let go! She wants Peyton to suffer on behalf of Lacey! Charlotte finally does let Peyton go, will Peyton even be able to team with Lacey now? Will anyone want to?

 

Matt Riddle crosses paths with The Hurt Business.

Riddle just wants to say hi but MVP doesn’t want to hear it. Does he wear this same lame outfit on the streets? Of course. Riddle lives his life free and untethered. And unkempt, it seems. Uncalled for, bro. But Riddle will take the high road. Of course he will. Riddle just wants to say he admires how nice they all dress. MVP is like Gordy Gecko, then there’s “Ceddy the Cheddy,” and Benjamin spending the Benjamins. And of course, who would ever call Lashley “Slobby Bobby.” Lashley handles this and the others head out.

Lashley tells Riddle that if it were him, he actually likes the flipflops. But he heard they’re bad for your feet. What? No they’re not. Lashley STOMPS one of Riddle’s feet, and says that proves his point. Riddle says Lashley will see this foot later, right up his ass! Will The Bro and his “brochachos” make the Hurt Business pay in their 3v3 later tonight?

 

Raw returns as Lucha House Party checks with Riddle.

Is he going to be okay for the match? Riddle says when he was in high school, his cousin ran his foot over with his truck, and Riddle was still able to go to prom. He’ll just tape it up. If he says so…

 

Xavier Woods VS Mace w/ Retribution!

Here he goes again on his own! Mustafa Ali says this is their time to strike. Kofi Kingston at home with a broken jaw isn’t enough, Ali wants to break his spirit, and that’s by breaking one of his most beloved friends! Ali prays Kofi can’t compete or even be in Elimination Chamber or WrestleMania. Then Kofi will feel what Ali did just one year ago! Will this revenge a long time coming be carried out by the menacing monster at Ali’s command?

Ali shouts at Woods about Kofi being a coward. Woods DECKS Ali for that and the ref has to keep Retribution back! Woods is ready for a fight but Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and the bell rings! Woods circles with Mace but is cornered! Mace keeps Woods from getting away but Woods CHOPS back, only for Mace to shrug it off. Woods and Mace go again, Woods CHOPS and fires off hands but Mace shoves him away. Woods kicks low, climbs up and throws more hands but Mace shoves him away again. Mace catches Woods with both hands and brings him out to center for a CHOKE SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Woods survives but Mace choke grips Woods again and dead lifts him to shove him to a corner! Mace runs in to elbow Woods down! Ali mocks Woods’ pain as Mace whips Woods and KNEES him in the back! Mace looms over Woods, covers, TWO!

Mace sits Woods up, pries on fingers and then clamps on for a neck wrench! Woods endures, Mace fish hooks Woods’ mouth, and Ali says Kofi doesn’t need to worry. Woods will break his jaw and be right next to Kofi tomorrow. Woods bites Mace’s hand! Woods mule kicks, CHOPS away, then kicks low to CHOP and CHOP again! Mace ROCKS Woods with the uppercut! Mace whips, Woods dodges and ducks to dropkick a leg out! Woods keeps on Mace with haymakers and elbows! Mace shoves Woods away but Woods CLUBS him! Mace shoves Woods but runs into a boot! HONOR- NO! Choke grip! Woods fights the grip, gets free, and ENZIGURIS!

Mace flops out of the ring but Ali shouts at him to get back in. Mace goes up, but Woods baseball slides under Mace to hit Ali! Woods hits Mace off the apron again but Ali tells them they stop this. They’re going to shut Woods down! Mace gets in, the other members run distraction, Woods SUPERKICKS but runs into a BOOT! Mace drags Woods back up, fireman’s carries, and SWINGING AIR RAID CRASH! Cover, Mace wins!

Winner: Mace, by pinfall

Retribution wins again, and Ali stands over Woods. “Tell Kofi, Retribution says, ‘Get well soon.'” Ali and his cohorts are laughing now, but will Kofi make a comeback to shut them up?

 

Backstage interview with Asuka.

She’s been invited to Alexa’s Playground, what does she expect? Asuka honestly doesn’t know. But after seeing her set Orton on fire, Asuka hopes it isn’t Alexa’s dark side.

 

It’s the WrestleMania Report!

It’s Hank E. Panki, totally not Triple H, and Anita Reelman, totally not Stephanie McMahon. Don’t question it. But they’re sending it over to the weatherman, Sunny McCloud. Nope, it’s Roman Reigns, and there is no weatherman. Roman sits at the rightful place as Head of the Table. He’s not going to play along. But if they were, Paul Heyman is sure someone would say, “The extended forecast-” Paul, no. Just give it to them straight. Heyman says Tampa Bay’s Raymond James Stadium will be the home of WrestleMania 37! Wow, big news! It’s going to be buck wild this April! And how great that they get to host WrestleMania again, for the first time.

But some real breaking news in sports, “Hailey Mary” and not Sasha Banks has the exclusive! But then an assistant makes sure she got the report about how WrestleMania is coming back to AT&T Stadium for 2022. Uh, y-yes, now she does! Now shoo. But you heard it here first! WrestleMania 38 will be right here in Texas! It doesn’t get much bigger than that! Dropping exclusives like it’s hot! And what a spectacle! Hank’s a spectacle. Rawr. But now, to Huge Kantseeme for entertainment news! Hugh? Hello? We can’t see him. It’s totally not John Cena! They love it when he does that. And you know what Huge loves? LA!

CUT! When Cena- er, uh, Hugh, says that, it sounds so fake. Um, Hugh, we’re live… Okay, he’ll try again. “Y’know what else I love? LA! That’s right, Hollywood!” Who doesn’t love drama? Cue zoom. Here’s some drama: WrestleMania is going Hollywood in 2023! PLOT TWIST! Thanks, Hugh, but you got a bit carried away. It will be in SoFi Stadium, or as Anita likes to call it, “So FINE Stadium.” Nothing like a good giggle. And that wraps things up for the WrestleMania Report. And we’re good. Phew! HHH and Stephanie take off the “costumes” and are pretty sure no one realized it was them all along. But yes, WrestleMania is all set for the next THREE YEARS! Who will make it to each of them? Will you be there?

 

Raw presents… Alexa’s Playground…!

Alexa goes to her swing and welcomes us back. She is so excited we’re all here, but before we get started, she wants to address The Viper in the room. “Randy, last week, I was just coming out here to talk to you. Y’know, clear the air. And then, things got a little… heated!” Alexa laughs at her own joke and says if Orton needs some sunblock, just let her know. But either way, good to see he’s feeling okay. Now to tonight’s very special guest! Alexa is so excited to invite her opponent, the Women’s Tag Team and Raw Women’s Champion, ASUKA! Asuka makes her entrance, and joins Alexa on the swings. Alexa says no, that’s not her seat. Oh, okay…

Is Asuka okay? Yes, yes! Asuka is okay. Sorry, Alexa wasn’t talking to her. Oh, okay. Asuka says she’ll just stand over here by the slide… They giggle, and Asuka more nervously than Alexa. Alexa knows they have a match tonight but for now, let’s have fun! Alexa has breaking news! It’s big news! Should she tell them or do you want to, invisible friend? Okay, she’ll say it. Alexa is entering the Women’s Rumble! Asuka wishes Alexa good luck. But wait. If Alexa wins the Rumble match and Asuka is still champion, then they might face off at WrestleMania! Asuka says that would be her honor! And Asuka is a big fan of Alexa’s! Really? Yes! Thank you, that’s so sweet! Well of course! YOWIE WOWIE~!

Alexa doesn’t like Asuka saying that. Asuka hopes Alexa still wants to have fun. Let’s dance! It’s Asuka’s theme, but Asuka still dances. Alexa doesn’t want that. Alexa says STOP IT! Asuka’s music stops and Asuka is a bit startled. Alexa’s friend says something and Alexa says they’re right. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. If Alexa had done something differently, he’d still be here… Asuka says it’ll be okay. Asuka tries to explain in Japanese, and then says The Fiend’s still here. “Do NOT say his name!” Alexa then gets a smile as she waves at the rocking horse. Asuka is spooked and leaves the ring. Alexa switches to the rocking horse, but will she flip the switch when the bell rings?

 

Backstage interview with The Miz and John Morrison.

Can they give us a hint at what they have in store for Goldberg tonight on The Dirt Sheet? Oh, she wants to know? Of course Sarah wants to know! “I WANT THE SCOOP~!” NO! No spoilers. Tune in like everyone else. But what Miz will say is that what is in store will definitely be controversial. Controversy creates cash, much like the Money in the Bank. CHACHING!

 

Raw hears from Jeff Jarrett!

Double J has a prediction for Drew McIntyre VS Goldberg for the WWE World Championship at the Royal Rumble PPV. Jarrett knows both men, but he quotes his old buddy, Toby Keith. The hook goes, “I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m good once as I ever was.” That will be the story of the Rumble, because we’ll see Goldberg’s Spear, Jackhammer and win for a NEW WWE World Champion! Will McIntyre deny that prediction when the  match actually happens?

 

Mandy Rose w/ Dana Brooke VS Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax!

While the #SexyMuscleFriends go to the ring together, the Queen of Spades gives fair warning backstage. “Last week, I made Mandy Rose tap out, and then I threw Mandy Rose out of the ring like an empty can of White Claw.” She promises to do the same thing tonight, and then everyone the Women’s Rumble better watch out because she’ll do the same to them. It doesn’t matter if it’s Charlotte, Bayley, or even her own tag team partner. Nia is surprised by that, but it IS every woman for themselves. Nia says she’s been the one carrying the team, but will Shayna prove she can do bad all by herself after the break?

Raw returns and Nia joins commentary as the bell rings. Mandy and Shayna tie up, Mandy shoves Shayna then trips her up with a leg. Shayna gets up, Mandy waistlocks, rolls Shayna up, ONE! Shayna kicks Mandy’s legs out, KNEES her down then covers, TWO! Shayna drags Mandy around and clamps on with a neck wrench. Mandy endures and Dana coaches her up. Shayna drives an elbow into Mandy’s face! Shayna CLUBS Mandy, Mandy hits back but Shayna CLUBS and KICKS her around! Shayna throws forearms, drags Mandy up for knees, then snapmares to KICK her again! Cover, TWO!

Shayna is back on Mandy with the neck wrench. Mandy fires up, throws body shots but Shayna throws her down by her hair! Shayna clamps onto Mandy again, pulls on arm arm for a half straitjacket, then stands on the arm! It’s a new take on the ARM STOMP! Dana checks on Mandy but Shayna tells her to back off. Mandy rolls Shayna up, TWO!! Mandy runs Shayna over but shakes out the bad arm. Mandy ducks a kick and uses the good arm to lariat over and over! And hit a FLAPJACK! Mandy manages a kip up, runs in and powers Shayna to a corner! Mandy fires off forearms, the ref backs her off but Mandy comes back to throw more forearms and even stomps!

The ref counts, Mandy backs off but Shayna gets around to KICK the bad arm! Shayna wrenches that arm, but Mandy fires off forearms with the other! Mandy pulls Shayna’s hair but Shayna twists the arm! KEYLOCK TAKEDOWN! KIRAFUDA KLUTCH! Mandy taps, Shayna wins!

Winner: Shayna Baszler, by submission

The Queen of Spades took care of this by herself, just as she said she would! Nia says Mandy almost had her, but Shayna argues it wasn’t even close. But Dana sneaks up and dropkicks Nia into Shayna, and they both hit post! The Flex Appeal gets away with Mandy, and they aren’t out of the running yet! Will one of these women win the Women’s Rumble to go after the Raw Women’s Championship?

 

Shayna and Nia argue backstage.

Shayna says that was Nia’s fault for getting involved but Charly Caruso comes by to ask about them not getting along. Well they’ve never really gotten along, even as champions. But meanwhile, the current champions, Charlotte has her daddy issues and Asuka is being creeped out by Alexa, are they really getting along? In fact, now is the perfect time to get that rematch for the titles! Nia says that’s actually a good idea. They go off to find management, will they regain the gold before getting into the Rumble?

 

Backstage interview with Charlotte Flair.

Before discussing the tag titles, how uncomfortable was it for her to see Lacey wearing one of Ric’s robes? Ever since stepping foot in the ring, people accuse her of living off her family name. Now there is literally a woman draping herself on Ric’s arm, begging for her 15 minutes of fame, and living off the name! Charlotte knows that Lacey is just using Ric to get to her. But Charlotte’s been learning from Ric her entire life. She just never went down that path. Maybe Charlotte needs to rethink things, because one person can only take so much trash. Lacey may have one of Ric’s robes, but she will never has Charlotte’s crown.

 

Adam Pearce talks with Ricochet.

We know that there are superstars who need to earn their way into the Rumble match. And this match is perfect timing. A win can go a long way towards opportunities. Ricochet is just glad to have this opportunity. Maybe this is the start to his road to WrestleMania. But then AJ Styles comes by and says it’s funny that Pearce is talking about opportunities. Who would take advice from Pearce, who just literally ran away from the Universal Championship? Yes, he would’ve lost, been embarrassed, but at least he’d have his dignity. Look at Ricochet. Ricochet is going to lose, but he’ll lose with dignity.

Ricochet says Styles has selective amnesia, like 50 First Dates. What’s he talking about? Well, Drew Barrymore’s character couldn’t remember a thing past a certain date because- Styles knows the movie! It’s in his top ten, right next to The Notebook. What’s he talking about here tonight? Ricochet’s point is that Styles has forgotten about TLC when he got embarrassed- Hey! That was The Miz’s fault! Well all Ricochet knows is that Styles will need more than a seven foot giant by his side to prove Ricochet doesn’t belong in the Rumble. The One and Only heads out to the ring, but will he be better than Phenomenal once again?

Ricochet VS AJ Styles w/ Omos!

Styles hangs back long enough to tell Pearce that he doesn’t like him anymore. And when he doesn’t like someone, Omos doesn’t like someone. Omos literally looks down on Scrap Daddy, but what will Pearce do about it, after the break?

Raw returns and Styles makes his entrance. The bell rings, Styles and Ricochet circle, tie up, and Styles powers Ricochet to a corner. The ref counts, Styles lets off and Ricochet circles with him again. They tie up, Styles headlocks, Ricochet tries to power out but Styles holds on tight. Styles grinds Ricochet down, Ricochet rolls to a cover, ONE and Styles holds on. They get up, Ricochet tries to power out again but Styles still holds on. Ricochet makes it a cover again, ONE! Ricochet throws body shots, powers out this time but blocks Styles’ kick to hit an arm-drag! Ricochet whips, Styles gets around to backslide, but Ricochet rolls through. Styles reels Ricochet in but Ricochet trips him up to jackknife bridge! TWO, and Styles tilt-o-whirls to a sunset flip, TWO!

Styles wants the Clash but Ricochet pops free to get around and roll him up, TWO! Ricochet dodges, runs, and headscissors! Styles pops up but into a RANA! Styles is back again, Ricochet rolls and handsprings to headscissor again! Styles is dizzy and flounders, into a dropkick! Ricochet talks some smack to Omos as Styles flounders out. Ricochet runs, slides, but Styles catches him, only for Ricochet to still headscissor him! Ricochet is getting fired up, but Omos glares at him from around the way. Ricochet puts Styles in and follows, but Styles runs in. Ricochet sends Styles out, slingshots, but Omos catches him!

The ref warns Omos to set Ricochet down, and Omos DROPS Ricochet! Ricochet is down but not out yet, and Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Styles drags Ricochet up to bump him off buckles. Styles scoops Ricochet for a RUNNING BACKBREAKER! Ricochet writhes but Styles paces around. Styles sits Ricochet up to dig a knee in and clamp on with the chinlock. Ricochet endures, fights his way up and throws body shots. Jawbreaker! Styles staggers, but he dodges to waistlock and GERMAN SUPLEX! Ricochet lands on his feet! Ricochet dodges Styles, runs and tilt-o-whirls for the DDT! Both men are down and Omos stares as fans clap on their screens. Ricochet gets to ropes and uses them to get up, and he counter punches Styles then fires off strikes! DISCUS LARIAT! Cover, TWO!!

Ricochet is frustrated but Omos is relieved as Styles survives. Ricochet fireman’s carries but Styles fights out. Ricochet mule kicks a leg then back flips into the DEAD LIFT GERMAN! Bridging cover, TWO! Ricochet grows further frustrated but he watches Styles stand. Ricochet runs out from the corner but Styles dodges. Styles runs in, Ricochet elbows back, QUEBRADA into a LARIAT! Styles gets Ricochet up, SNAP BRAIN BUSTER!! Cover, TWO!! Styles fireman’s carries Ricochet for USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO! Omos says it’s alright but Styles is still surprised Ricochet survives!

Styles goes to a corner, goes to the apron, and takes aim. Styles springboards, but Ricochet hits the RECOIL!! Both men are down, Ricochet crawls to the cover, TWO!! Styles survives and Ricochet is beside himself! Ricochet goes to the corner, climbs up top, but Styles trips him up! Ricochet lands hard on his stomach and flops to the apron! Omos coaches Styles as Ricochet drags himself up. Styles goes to the corner, brings Styles up, but Ricochet hotshots! Ricochet aims, slingshots, but into Styles’ suplex, that rebounds off the ropes! Into the STYLES CLASH!!! Cover, Styles wins!

Winner: AJ Styles, by pinfall

Now that was a PHENOMENAL way to win a match! But once again, Styles denies another entry into the Rumble, will he continue to eliminate superstars before they ever get in?

 

Raw presents The Dirt Sheet!

The Miz and John Morrison are in the ring and Morrison welcomes us. When you want to enjoy a top tier steak dinner, you’ve gotta be ready to pay the bill. And Miz says tonight is the biggest edition of Dirt Sheet ever. It will be extra dirty because tonight’s guest is someone who everyone knows and loves, someone who was a childhood hero to many adults, and could be a hero to an entirely new generation if he defeats Drew McIntyre for the WWE World Championship at the Royal Rumble PPV! Welcome the biggest guest in Dirt Sheet history, one of the most intimidating men to ever step inside the wrestling ring, the legendary WWE Hall of Famer, it’s GOLD~ BERG!

Goldberg makes his entrance and both Miz ‘n’ Morrison are excited. Wait a minute, that’s GILLBERG! And he still gets hurt by those sparklers. Morrison and Miz can’t believe “Goldberg” is more massive than before. Now, the Rumble will be one of the most important matches in his career, it’ll be like Godzilla VS King Kong! How has he been preparing? Well first, he bashes his head into the wall because he’s so pumped up. The adrenaline is flowing, the veins are hyped and he’s foaming at the mouth! There’s smoke coming out of his nose and fire out of his ass! Okay just be careful not to hit a ring post. And careful with those chairs, they’re not cheap.

Wait, Drew McIntyre is here?! Miz and Morrison are surprised most of all! Wait, that’s not even close. That’s an impersonator with a wig! And he has a tiny toy sword! “That’s the ‘Clayless,'” says Samoa Joe. Miz and Morrison give Drew “Mockingtire” roll in, and the Dirt Sheet just keeps getting bigger! Mockingtire says he is here to meet his opponent face to face. Let’s not get into fisticuffs, Dirt Sheet is classy. Use your words. Does Mockingtire have anything to say to Gil- er, Goldberg? “I’m gonna kick yer ass back to 1998, and then I’m gonna go home and eat some haggis!”

Whoa, c’mon, the Scottish accent is more like this, mate. Are they going to cut and go again? NO IT’S LIVE! Morrison, where did you find this guy? New Jersey… No, the best actors are from New York, LA and Cleveland! Cleveland?! What? Because of Miz! But now this show is a train wreck! What are they even doing? Gillberg? Really? Miz, you’re making this awkward. Oh HE’s making this awkward?! This was MORRISON’S stupid idea! It’s a GREAT idea! It’s comedy gold! Pff, it’s not even comedy silver! Gillberg speaks up and does his crazy Goldberg face. Oh shut up! And let’s just do the thing.

“Hey, John~!” “Yeah?” “Is Goldberg going to lose at the Royal Rumble?” Of course! CORRECT! But is Drew McIntyre also going to lose at the Rumble? Duh. CORRECT! But how can that be? Because The Miz will cash in his MITB contract. COOOOOOOOOOOORRECT! “You are looking at the future WWE Champion, because I’m the Miz! And III’M! NEXT!” Miz is finally getting serious, but will he make the real Goldberg and McIntyre the butt of his joke?

 

Six Man Tag: The Hurt Business VS Matt Riddle & The Lucha House Party!

The WWE United States Champion put the hurt on The Bro both last week in their title match, but also earlier tonight just to bully him. But will the Golden Lynx and King of the Ropes help Riddle rebound while also getting themselves an opportunity at the Raw Tag Team Championships?

Raw returns as Lince Dorado and Gran Metalik make their entrance, followed by Riddle. Alexander insists he start and Metalik starts with him. Alexander kicks low, clubs away on Metalik then talks trash. Alexander throws forearms and puts Metalik in a corner to whip corner to corner., Metalik boots back, runs and slings but into a back suplex! Metalik lands on his feet, dodges but Alexander dropkicks! Alexander says that’s how you do it, but MVP says don’t talk about it, just do it. Alexander doesn’t want to tag and he CHOPS Metalik! He scoops Metalik to a backbreaker! Alexander stares Benjamin down as he lifts Metalik again, but Metalik slips out to get to his corner and tag in Lince!

Metalik boots Alexander away, Lince jumps in and gets a boost for the FLYING RANA! Lince clubs away on Alexander, wrenches, but Alexander ROCKS him with a right! Alexander CLUBS Lince, and now he wants a tag, only for Benjamin and Lashley to let him handle this. Alexander turns around into CHOPS! Lince QUEBRADAS! Cover, TWO!! Alexander narrowly escapes but Lince clubs away! Lince gets the arm, Alexander fights up and pulls the mask! Alexander puts Lince on the ropes, throws body shots, and Benjamin tags himself in. The tag champions glare at each other, then Benjamin circles with Lince. Lince rolls Benjamin, TWO, Benjamin CLOBBERS Lince!

Benjamin puts Lince in a corner, whips him corner to corner hard, and storms over to cover, TWO! Tag to Lashley, the Hurt Business whip and double shoulder Lince down! Lashley throws Lince to a corner, fires off haymakers, then bumps Lince off buckles. Alexander tags himself in and drags Lince up for forearms. Benjamin tags himself in and MVP wants his guys to stop arguing. Benjamin keeps Lince in the corner and he fires off haymakers and stomps. Lince tries to fight out but Alexander tags himself back in. Alexander whips, Lince handsprings, GOLDEN REWIND! Both men are down, MVP says this is what happens!

Alexander drags Lince from his corner in time, and tags Benjamin in. The tag champions argue again, and then Benjamin shoves Alexander right out of the ring! MVP keeps Alexander back, Lashley tags in, but Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Alexander is on Lince with an armlock. Metalik and Riddle rally for Lince as he endures and fights up. Lince clubs but Alexander WRINGS his arm out! Cover, TWO! Alexander smothers Lince with a chinlock and reaches out for a tag. Lashley takes it and he drags Lince up to bring him around for a scoop and SLAM! Lashley asks why Alexander has a problem but MVP says to worry about that later. Lashley tags Benjamin, Benjamin drags Lince around and TOSSES him across the way! Benjamin drags Lince back up, snap suplexes, then takes his time looming over Lince. Alexander tags himself back in and Benjamin contains his frustration.

Alexander bumps Lince off buckles, fires off hands, but lets off at the ref’s count of 4. Alexander hoists Lince up top, throws hands, but Lince throws them back! Alexander staggers, Lince adjusts and leaps, BIG crossbody! Lince bounces off the cover but both men are down! The fans clap on their screens, hot tags to Riddle and Benjamin! The Bro spins Benjamin around for a PELE! Kip up and forearm smash! Riddle runs to DECK Lashley, then he forearms Benjamin again! Benjamin holds off the suplex to throw knees, then a powerbomb lift. Riddle fights out, ROUDNHOUSES then Penalty Kicks, only to miss! Benjamin rolls, Riddle rolls through, FINAL FLASH! Cover, TWO!

MVP panics as Riddle goes up, FLOATING BRO FLOPS! MVP shouts as Riddle crawls, hot tag to Metalik! Metalik springboards to crossbody! Then he brings Benjamin up to knuckle lock and CHOP! Metalik goes up, up and RANA! Metalik runs, wheelbarrows but Benjamin SLAMS Metalik down! Alexander tags in again, for a BRAIN BUSTER! Alexander gets fired up but Lashley tags himself in. Lashley runs past Alexander to DECK Riddle, then SPEAR Metalik! But Lashley isn’t done, he puts on the HURT LOCK! Metalik taps, The Hurt Business wins!

Winners: The Hurt Business, by submission

Lashley sees Alexander and Benjamin arguing again, but Riddle CLOBBERS Lashley! Riddle gets away because the Hurt Business isn’t on the same page! Will they be able to pull things together to keep the gold in their possession?

 

Elias talks with Jaxson Ryker backstage.

After the miscommunication last week, The Drifter hopes he and Ryker don’t misunderstand each other this time. When Elias told Ryker not to help him, he didn’t mean it, he was being subtle. Ryker took it literally, signals got crossed. Signals? This isn’t Thomas the Tank Engine, this is Monday Night Raw! This is the WWE! And WWE stands for #WalkWithElias. That Ryker understands. Now Ryker did not walk with Elias last week. But tonight, when they take on Hardy again, what is Ryker’s mission? To finish what Elias started, embody the Universal Truth, and beat Hardy until he accepts the truth. Good. They head out, and Ryker double checks. Is Elias not helping in the match or “not” helping in the match? Just go…

 

Drew McIntyre speaks!

He’s still asymptomatic for COVID and is feeling stronger than ever. But he’s still at home. He had a good laugh at Gillberg and the mini-McIntyre “with the body of a melted candle.” But the WWE is like the circus, with a little bit of everything for everyone. There are clowns like Miz ‘n’ Morrison, then the lions like McIntyre. And sometimes, the lions eat the clowns. McIntyre promises to see them again really soon.

But that wasn’t reality. The reality is, the championships aren’t given. But they can be taken, and in McIntyre’s case, it could be at a Spear or Jackhammer’s notice. McIntyre respects Goldberg, but he won’t hold back to keep his title. McIntyre never misses. He will be prepared, focused and intense. That same intensity he saw in Goldberg’s eyes. Not the kind in the delusions he had or the words Goldberg put in McIntyre. McIntyre means the intensity when he insulted Goldberg. That look was the real Goldberg!

McIntyre suggests Goldberg bring that guy to the Rumble because that’s what the title deserves. If he doesn’t, McIntyre will eat him alive in two minutes. But if Goldberg wants to try again, McIntyre will be back on Raw next week! Will there be thunder and lightning from these two titans even before the Rumble?

 

Jeff Hardy VS Jaxson Ryker w/ Elias!

The Charismatic Enigma knew The Drifter’s thumb was not broken last week, and he made sure Elias did not get away unscathed. But while Elias had a helping hand in Ryker’s win over the living legend, will they not get away with it again?

The bell rings and Ryker runs in but Hardy dodges him! Hardy puts Ryker in a corner, rams his shoulder in over and over, but Ryker turns things around to throw body shots! The ref counts, Ryker bumps Hardy off buckles then watches him flounder around. Ryker toys with Hardy, Hardy hits back but Ryker CLUBS him down! Ryker drags Hardy up, puts him in the corner and whips him corner to corner. Hardy goes up, mule kicks back then headscissors Ryker to ropes! Ryker flounders up but Hardy rallies with forearms! Atomic drop, leg splitting leg drop! Basement dropkick and a splash added on, cover, ONE!

Hardy keeps his cool and watches Ryker stand. Ryker blocks the kick but not the spinning back kick! Hardy runs in to corner splash, then he whips corner to corner, only to miss. Ryker runs back in and CLOBBERS Hardy! Elias likes that as Ryker covers, TWO! Ryker drops ax handles on Hardy again and again, then rains down right hands! The ref counts, Ryker lets off, and he drags Hardy up to back suplex! Cover, TWO! Ryker drags Hardy into a chinlock and grinds him down! Hardy endures, fights up and throws body shots to then jawbreaker free! Kick and TWIST OF FURY! Hardy throws off his shirt, climbs up top, but Elias again interferes! The ref saw it this time, that’s a disqualification!

Winner: Jeff Hardy, by disqualification

Ryker is a bit upset, didn’t they agree Elias was not going to help? Elias thought they agreed he was “not” going to help, aka he would. But it doesn’t matter as Hardy WRECKS Elias with a dropkick! Ryker is after Hardy again but gets another Twist! He powers out, Hardy dodges but runs into a SCRAPBUSTER! Elias gets in to stand tall with Ryker, and it looks like this issue is not over. What will it take to finally get Hardy to #WalkWithElias?

 

Asuka VS Alexa Bliss!

The encounter earlier tonight was eerie and scary, but now the Empress and Lil’ Miss Bliss will battle it out! Will Asuka be able to shrug off the chill up her spine? Or will she be burned by the darkness lurking inside Alexa?

The bell rings and Alexa smiles as she and Asuka circle. They tie up, go around, and Asuka wrenches to a wristlock. Alexa rolls, wrenches back, but Asuka moves around to spin, wrench and wristlock again. Alexa steps through, slips through and headlocks. Asuka fights out, pushes Alexa and then follows to run her over! Asuka has fun now as she dances around, but then she runs, Alexa trips her up, and Alexa Oklahoma Rolls, TWO! Alexa sits and smiles and Asuka runs in, but Alexa ducks the kick to roll her up! TWO, and Asuka fires off palm strikes, body shots and a BACK HAND! Asuka shoves, pop-up KNEES Alexa down, then SLIDING WIZARD! Cover, TWO!

Asuka keeps cool as Alexa is smiling about getting hit. Asuka sits Alexa up and says no more fun, she wants her lock! Alexa resists the armlock and chinbar, pries free, but Asuka wrangles her back down. Alexa fights again, gets up, and gest to ropes! The ref calls for the break and Asuka lets off fast. Alexa is outside, Asuka runs and slides but Alexa gets under. Alexa gets in the ring, and then the screens start to change? The lights are going down! What is this warped circus music?! Raw goes to break while things get creepier!

Raw returns once more and Alexa is standing there, but has transformed! Her makeup, hair, outfit, it’s all different! Asuka is as confused as we are as to how she did this! Asuka circles but Alexa doesn’t budge. Alexa watches Asuka then finally takes a step. They circle slowly, commentary doesn’t even want to talk too loudly. Asuka swings a back hand but Alexa easily avoids it! And the same for the roundhouse kick! Alexa deflects Asuka’s strikes, ducks one kick but not the mule kick! Asuka runs but into a shoulder! Alexa’s stoic as Asuka rolls out of the ring. Asuka is getting mad and she gets back in the ring. The two circle again, Asuka blocks Alexa’s punch, POP-UP KNEE!

Alexa staggers to a corner, Asuka runs in, but Alexa does the SPIDER WALK! That’s just like Bray Wyatt! Alexa stands upright, wipes some blood from her mouth, and then just stares at her hand. Asuka waits on Alexa, but Alexa wants to grab at Asuka! Asuka fights off the Mandible Claw! Alexa kicks, Asuka blocks, waistlock but Alexa elbows out! And DECKS Asuka! Cover, TWO!! This dark side of Alexa’s that Asuka was talking about is stoic again as she paces about. Asuka shakes out the cobwebs as she sits up, but Alexa walks over to look at her in the eyes. Alexa lifts Asuka up by her chin, Asuka ROUNDHOUSES! And BACK HANDS! ANOTHER ROUNDHOUSE!!

Asuka fires up, drags Alexa up but Alexa grabs Asuka and smirks! SISTER ABIGAIL!! Cover, Alexa wins!!

Winner: Alexa Bliss, by pinfall

Alexa just pinned Asuka!! And then in a flash, she’s back to her bubbly side! “Let me in!” She spoke with The Fiend’s voice!! Maybe Asuka was right, he IS still here! But if she truly #LetHimIn, will there be any stopping her on the road to WrestleMania?


My Thoughts:

A really good episode tonight! For starters, less strange copy-paste from last week, and they did continue with stories that got started last week to great effect. I am a little saddened that it seems we’re no longer doing Ricochet VS Retribution if only for now, but I do like how they shifted to make Retribution’s story work against The New Day. They had Ali bring back things that happened all the way back in 2019 when #KofiMania happened for WrestleMania 35. I hope we get Ali VS Kofi out of this, on top of New Day VS the various combinations of Retribution. Ricochet VS AJ Styles was a great match, perhaps one of the most creative ways to get someone into the Styles Clash, and it is interesting that Styles is the gatekeeper to the Men’s Rumble on Raw.

Charlotte VS Peyton was a very good showing for Peyton, even though she loses. They aren’t overdoing things with Lacey and Ric just yet, so it isn’t exactly cringeworthy. Though, the endgame is clearly Lacey using Ric just to get at the tag titles. Shayna beats Mandy Rose down again, but it was pretty good for Dana to get the better of her and Nia. Nia and Shayna want a tag title match and that probably happens on the go-home to the Rumble. I can see the distractions for Charlotte getting the better of the #QueensOfTomorrow, and the titles going back to Nia and Shayna, but there could still be dysfunction on the other end that changes that around.

Dysfunction is also growing in the Hurt Business, and while it’s a bit early, they are acting it out very well. Alexander is too fired up and thinking he’s the one winning everything, but it was a good move for Lashley to take over the match and put this away for the team. LHP is doing a lot with also having their part in the Dusty Rhodes Classic on NXT, but I think that means they can fall back on one show if they’re losing in the other. And I would think Riddle is getting another match for the US Championship, but perhaps after the Rumble. Hardy VS Ryker was better than last week, but the story is still something that they’re clearly trying to force more Elias and Hardy stuff.

The Dirt Sheet having Gillberg and a fake McIntyre was actually a great twist. It was goofy in the right way, and it was made even better with Miz getting serious to top it off. I suppose he does have a point that he can cash in again, or rather “actually” this time, against McIntyre and Goldberg, but that seems like an even worse idea than at TLC if you go by Goldberg’s kayfabe rankings. McIntyre had a good response promo, and it’s great to know he’ll be back already. I don’t expect him and Goldberg to throw hands, but I bet there will be a tease of Goldberg getting hit with a Claymore or McIntyre getting hit with a spear. And Goldberg should prioritize Spear so that he doesn’t have to risk lifting then dropping McIntyre.

The related stories of Orton, Fiend and Alexa just got even more interesting. Orton has an apparently medical lucha mask now, adding a new layer to how creepy he’s being lately. It’s like he’s becoming The Fiend after having burned The Fiend alive in a twisted version of the Santa Clause. And at the same time, Alexa has inherited The Fiend’s powers, too. She really creeped Asuka out, and that’s not so bad, because while Asuka can be scary, Alexa is being a different kind of scary. Giving Alexa her own transformation was a great twist, and this Alexa could probably take the Raw Women’s Championship.

And to be fair, it would be better if we got Asuka VS Twisted Bliss Alexa at Rumble because it’d be a lot for Alexa, even this new form of hers, to win the Rumble when there are many great contenders from both Raw and SmackDown. Bayley and Bianca are a strong rivalry from SmackDown and one of them probably deserves to win so they can challenge Sasha Banks.

My Score: 8.3/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/18/24)

Talk about a Big Time Raw!

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Will The Man be the Last Woman Standing?

Becky Lynch and Nia Jax want to finally put this to an end, so tonight on Raw, it will be a Big Time Last Woman Standing match! Will the Irresistible Force force the WrestleMania 40 match to change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: #DIY VS The Creed Brothers; DIY wins and advances to WrestleMania.
  • Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell VS Kayden Carter & Katana Chance; Candice & Indi win.
  • Dominik Mysterio w/ JD McDonagh VS Ricochet; Ricochet wins.
  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The Awesome Truth VS Indus Sher; The Awesome Truth wins and advances to WrestleMania.
  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The New Day VS The Alpha Academy; The New Day wins and advances to WrestleMania.
  • Last Woman Standing: Becky Lynch VS Nia Jax; Becky wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Jey Uso is here!

North Carolina State University fires up and bounces along with Main Event Jey, and Pat McAfee plays a dangerous game standing on the armchairs! From Bret VS Owen to Matt VS Jeff, we’re about to get Jey VS Jimmy in the third-ever Brother VS Brother WrestleMania grudge match! Jey gets the mic as fans chant “YEET! YEET! YEET!” Jey welcomes us to Monday Night Raw, and wants us to check this out. He knows his brothers are somewhere in the building. He knows The Bloodline’s in the building. He knows how the Bloodline rolls! SO Big Brother Jimmy, where you at?! Where you at, Uce!?

Jey waits for someone to show up somewhere, and the crowd spots them first! Fans boo as Jimmy & Solo make their way from the back of the stands. Jimmy gets a mic and goes to the apron while Solo paces around the outside. Fans chant “YEET! YEET! YEET!” again as Jey puts the sunglasses aside. The Usos stare each other down, the fans now chant “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Jey wants to say something, hesitates, but then says these two would always get to it but they always knew how to shake right back to this. But now it’s different. Regardless of what happened, the bad blood between them, Jey misses his brother. He does.

Jey knows Jimmy will say what he wants, but Jey doesn’t talk to him no more, doesn’t ride with him no more, doesn’t even see him no more! Jimmy can just come back. Jimmy says he never left! He protected Jey! Jey’s so dumb, he can’t see it! Jimmy is protecting Jey! It was Jey’s idea to leave The Bloodline, but Jimmy helped because he is Jey’s brother. So yeah, Jey leaves, and what happens? Lil’ Bro becomes the BIGGEST star on the Raw roster! Lil’ Bro becomes the top merch seller! Lil’ Bro goes off to become a tag team champion without Jimmy, but with CODY RHODES!? Who left who, Uce?

Jey forgot Jimmy! Everything Jey did that was big was cuz of Big Bro Jimmy! Everything! So listen loud and clear. The biggest moment in Jey’s career, the BIGGEST moment, is because of Jimmy! Jimmy stares Jey down, but Jey says no. Jey’s biggest moment in his career is going to be his dream match at WrestleMania 40: Jey VS Jimmy, and Jey knocks the yeet out Jimmy’s ass! Jey DECKS Jimmy, DECKS Solo off the apron, but then Jimmy SUPERKICKS Jey down! The fans boo but now Solo storms in and looms over Jey. Solo drags Jey up so Jimmy can look him in the face and tell him that Jey needs to get it right! JIMMY made Jey!

But here comes Cody Rhodes! The fans fire up as Cody DECKS Jimmy, then gets in to springboard and CODY CUTTER Solo!! The American Nightmare said he was gonna be a Bloodline Hunter, and he made sure they didn’t take out Jey! Cody tells The Bloodline it is only a matter of time before they lose it all at WrestleMania! Will Jey prove that younger or older doesn’t matter when he is the BETTER brother?

 

Adam Pearce is on the phone.

He’s telling Nick Aldis to stop being a hypocrite, telling Pearce to keep his roster in check when this is happening. But then Paul Heyman walks over and Pearce says he’ll call Aldis back. Pearce then asks Heyman what was all that, and Heyman says he owes Pearce an apology. He is sorry. That was not authorized by The Final Boss nor The Tribal Chief, and certainly not by Heyman. Jimmy & Solo went into business for themselves so Heyman apologizes. But listen, Pearce knows that there have been flight delays all day. Even private jets like theirs. Heyman is barely even dressed for TV, let alone has his make-up!

Pearce says those two were ready. Yeah, well, they got in on a different flight. But Roman Reigns is a chief of his word. Those two are already gone, out of the arena, and Pearce has Roman’s word. Call his bluff, put out a search party. Pearce knows Heyman is here on official business, which Heyman will handle, and then be gone. That is it. But when Heyman does his official business… everyone will be caught off guard. “And Mr. Pearce, sir, that’s not a prediction. That’s a spoiler.” The Wise Man heads out and calls Roman, but just what is Heyman teasing?

 

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: #DIY VS The Creed Brothers!

Unlike SmackDown’s mini-tournament, Raw and Adam Pearce say it’s win and you’re in! Tommaso Ciampa & Johnny Gargano want one more shot at Judgment Day, but so do Julius & Brutus! Will the Sicilian Psycho & Johnny Wrestling prove that when it comes to Mania Moments, you gotta do it yourself? Or will the Creeds be bringing golden tickets to the Diamond Mine?

Raw returns as The Creeds make their entrance. The teams fist bump to show respect, then the teams sort out. Julius starts against Ciampa, they circle and tie up. They’re in a deadlock, Ciampa goes for a waistlock but Julius facelocks. Julius wrangles Ciampa to the mat, flips him over, ONE, and Ciampa keeps moving. They trade facelocks, gator roll, and Julius gets another lateral press. ONE, but Julius gator rolls Ciampa around. Ciampa fights up, puts Julius on ropes, and the ref counts. Ciampa lets off, then CHOPS! Julius shoots in for the takedown! Julius has a leg, Ciampa fights but Julius turns him for the ANKLE LOCK!

Ciampa scrambles to the ROPEBREAK, and Julius lets off cleanly. Ciampa bails out, shakes it off, and he gets back in. They go again, Julius hits a fireman’s carry takeover! Tag to Brutus, and Julius feeds Ciampa to another fireman’s carry takeover! Brutus cording holds but Ciampa endures. Ciampa fights up, but Brutus facelocks. The fans rally as Brutus switches and rolls Ciampa. Ciampa fights up, headlocks, then ROCKS Brutus! Brutus DECKS Ciampa, then whips him to ropes. Ciampa ducks ‘n’ dodges, tag to Gargano! Ciampa slides, CHOPS, Gargano LARIATS and Ciampa JAWBREAKERS! Wrench and LARIAT!

Julius runs in, Gargano kicks and Ciampa gives him the boost for SLICED BREAD! The Creeds bail out, but DIY DOUBLE PLANCHA! Down go the Creeds, and DIY applaud and pat themselves on the back. The fans fire up and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Ciampa has Julius in a chinlock. The fans rally, Julius fights up to throw body shots, but Ciampa hits a back suplex! Julius lands out of it, but Ciampa elbows him away. Ciampa drop toeholds Julius, gets legs, but Julius BOOTS Ciampa away! Hot tags to Gargano and Brutus! Brutus rallies on DIY, TOSSES Gargano, then blocks Ciampa’s kick to get under and POWERBOMB him! Brutus sees DIY regroup, then he runs in to SPLASH them both! O’Conner on Ciampa, but Gargano runs up! NORTHERN LIGHTS! Brutus has a DOUBLE BRIDGE, TWO!! Tag to Julius and he gut wrench SLAMS Brutus on Ciampa!

Brutus helps Julius flip up and over to SPLASH onto Ciampa! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up as Julius drags Ciampa up. Ciampa throat chops! A bit dirty but Ciampa wants that win! Ciampa storms up on Julius, but Julius basement stalling suplexes!! The fans are thunderous, Gargano runs in, but Brutus intercepts! Brutus suplexes Gargano now, stalls, and then the Creeds SLAM and kip up! Then they both STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Ciampa stays in this for DIY but the Creeds keep cool. Julius stomps Ciampa, tags Brutus, and they KNEE Ciampa around! Then they DOUBLE GUTBUSTER! Ciampa sputters but Brutus tags Julius in.

Julius drags Ciampa up, tags Brutus back in, and Brutus climbs. Julius Electric Chair Lifts, but Gargano makes the save! Gargano ROCKS Julius, Brutus ROCKS Gargano! Ciampa BOOTS Brutus, Gargano swings on Julius but is sent into Ciampa! Ciampa pushes Gargano back so he can ELBOW Julius! DIY set up again but Brutus stops the Sliced Bread! Julius DECKS Ciampa, KNEE into the WIDOWMAKER! Julius scrapes Gargano out, Brutus POUNCES Ciampa over the desk! Pat fires up with Brutus and so do the fans! The Creeds say they run this now, and then Brutus drags Ciampa up while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Julius has Ciampa in a chinlock. Ciampa fights up, and he JAWBREAKERS free! Ciampa ELBOWS Brutus down, BOOTS Julius, then runs up, only for Julius to catch him and toss him back! But then Ciampa catches Julius for a REVERSE DDT! The fans fire up while both men are down and crawling! Hot tag to Gargano! Gargano slingshots to KICK Julius, then he CLOBBERS Brutus! ENZIGIRI for Julius, then he runs to DOUBLE KNEE Brutus! BULLDOG LARIAT COMBO! The fans fire up with Gargano while Julius ends up in another corner. Gargano runs in but is put on the apron!

Gargano GAMANGIRIS Julius, SUPERKICKS Brutus, then SLINGSHOT SPEARS Julius! Cover, TWO! Julius survives but Gargano puts him in a corner. Gargano CHOPS, then hoists Julius up top. Tag to Ciampa, Ciampa CHOPS Julius while Gargano DIVES onto Brutus! Ciampa CHOPS Julius again, goes up top, and fireman’s carries! Ciampa then tucks Julius in for the SUPER AIR RAID CRASH! Cover, TWO!! Julius survives again and shocks Ciampa! The fans are just as stunned, but Ciampa and Julius sit up. Ciampa stands, and he CHOPS! And CHOPS! Julius sits back up as Ciampa puts some stank on the CHOP!

Julius brings the straps down! Julius fires a forearm, Ciampa hits back, and the fans fire up as the shots keep going! They go faster and faster, harder and harder, meaner and meaner! The fans fire up as this just turns into a brawl of haymakers and SLAPS! Ciampa then gets around, ripcord and HAYMAKER! ROLLING- TACKLE from Julius! And then the ANKLE LOCK!! Ciampa reaches out, moves around, but Gargano runs up! Julius kicks him, then gets him up with one arm to POWERBOMB! Then it’s back to the ANKLE LOCK on Ciampa! Brutus gets in to get Gargano for an ANKLE LOCK of his own!

The fans are thunderous as DIY endures! Ciampa and Gargano fight, turn things over, SICILIAN CROSSFACE and GargaNO Escape!! The fans are thunderous as The Creeds power up and lift both DIY! They fireman’s carry, then TOSS DIY into each other!! The fans are thunderous as Julius goes up to MOONSAULT onto Ciampa! Brutus MOONSAULTS, too! Cover, TWO?!?! Ciampa survives and the fans are loving this! Julius tags back in, Brutus climbs up! “This is Awesome!” as Julius Electric Chair Lifts Ciampa! But Ciampa VICTORY ROLLS to get under the Brutus Ball!! Cover, Brutus tips it! Gargano TOSSES Brutus then SUPERKICKS Julius!! Ciampa has the cover, DIY WINS!!

Winners: DIY, by pinfall (advance to WrestleMania)

Julius can’t believe it! He kicked out at 3.1, but a loss is a loss! And for the first time ever, DIY is going to Mania! Will Philadelphia soon be historic for a DIY championship victory?

 

Judgment Day meets backstage.

Rhea Ripley is with Dominik Mysterio, Finn Balor & JD McDonagh, but also Andrade. Dom says he’s always liked Andrade’s style, but things have changed since the last time he was in the WWE. The Judgment Day runs Raw now. Rhea says yeah, and they don’t extend invitations to just anyone. Judgment Day is very exclusive. JD says very exclusive. But if Andrade continues to impress them, they’ll see about making things happen. And Finn says he just heard that Andrade has a match next week, so the Judgment Day will be watching him. Sounds good. See you next week. But then in steps Damian Priest.

The Punisher says hello to El Idolo, and El Idolo says hello to Senor Dinero. Andrade heads out, will he quite literally win his way into the club? But as for Priest, Finn asks him what he was up to. Priest was getting a closer look at that DIY VS Creeds match. DIY won, but whatever, they can handle those guys. But JD, they thought he could handle Ricochet last week, and run the gauntlet, and then go to WrestleMania to bring even more gold back to Judgment Day. JD says he did he belonged in there. But also, he battered Ricochet, who got lucky at the end there. Right, Finn? Finn hesitates, and Rhea says Priest is right on this one.

Ricochet made a fool out of JD! A fool? Yes. A fool? Yes. That’s why tonight, Dom will make it right. Right, Dom? Yeah, Mami. Let’s go talk to Pearce to make it official. Dom & JD head out, and the others are confident Dom’s got this. But does he, though? Or will the One and Only have two wins over Judgment Day in as many weeks?

 

Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell VS Kayden Carter & Katana Chance!

The Poison Pixie certainly lived up to that name last week when she bullied Maxxine Dupri as part of beating her and Ivy Nile last week. Will Candice’s toxic tongue strike again? Or will the party not be stopped by her harsh vibes?

The teams sort out and Candice starts against Kayden. Candice rushes up, Kayden gets around and O’Conner Rolls, TWO! Kayden springboards to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Kayden stalks Candice, Candice ELBOWS her away then tags Indi. Kayden dodges Candice to SUPERKICK, but Indi BOOTS Kayden! Cover, TWO! Indi drags Kayden up, tags Candice back in, and they mug Kayden. Candice CLUBS away on Kayden, fires off furious fists, then covers. TWO, and Candice grows frustrated already. The fans rally, Candice steps up but Kayden avoids the senton! Tags to Katana and Indi! Katana blasts past Indi, comes back and BULLDOGS!

Katana keeps moving, ducks ‘n’ dodges, then SHOTGUNS Indi to a corner! The fans fire up as Katana stomps away on Indi! Indi shoves Katana, Katana runs corner to corner to A-LIST LARIAT! Katana shoves Indi down, runs up, but into a back suplex! Katana lands out, but her leg jams! The ref and Kayden check, then the ref keeps Indi back. Indi says okay, and she stays by Candice. But Candice tags in to WRECK Kayden! And she SLAMS Katana’s leg into the post!! HALF CRAB and DEEP! Katana taps, Candice & Indi win!

Winners: Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell, by submission

Candice smiles and celebrates with Indi, but Indi doesn’t want to. Candice says a win is a win, but just what is going on in her toxic mind?

 

Cody Rhodes makes his way to the ring.

NC State fires up again as The American Nightmare walks down the ramp, and this time the fans can sing along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro then gets the mic. “In less than three weeks time, I will stand opposed for the second year in a row, in the main event, with the lights on brightest, I will challenge for the WWE Undisputed Championship, against the greatest champion in all of sports, The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. And this Friday on SmackDown, Roman and I are going to have a little conversation, if you will. But there are… complications. Factors, elements, combustible elements, namely… The Rock.”

Fans boo but Cody says The Rock took to Instagram on Friday, and followed it up with “extremely entertaining” concert. Too bad The Rock didn’t wanna be here tonight. Something Cody took from the Instagram post: The Rock referred to himself as “Our Favorite Heel.” A bit of an inside term, but we’re not dumb, we know that means he’s the “bad guy.” Cody has known Heels. Bobby Heenan, Arn Anderson, Michael Hayes, “Superstar” Billy Graham, “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair! Fans “WOO~” and Cody says he doesn’t think The Rock is a Heel. He’s just an assh*le. The fans go nuts hearing that!

Cody doesn’t want Rock getting upset, he doesn’t want the “seven bucks team” to get upset, he doesn’t want anyone getting emotional. Cody knows how Rock feels about emotions, he poked fun at Cody tearing up at discussing “finishing the story” with good friend, Michael Cole. There’s no crying in pro-wrestling, Jimmy Dugan, we get it. But hasn’t The Rock been crying behind the scenes this whole time? Once that hashtag came out, once fans chanted something else, The Rock cried to his buddies on the TKO board and said “Hey, this is gonna be some good PR for The Rock! I need to save WWE!” God knows, look at this house. They sure needed “saving,” huh?

The fans cheer but Cody says Rock wanted great PR. Until it wasn’t. TKO said OMG yes, put on the Gucci shirt, get those muscles looking big. It’s because they are Yes People, they are enablers, they won’t dare tell The Rock like it is, so Cody’s going to. Cody tells The Rock, “You’re a lot of things. You’re a lot of wonderful things. You are the Braham Bull, you are The Great One.” Cody still has shoes with The Rock’s logo on it! The Rock is the only guy Cody honestly feels is a Mount Rushmore wrestler. But he is also a terrible salesman, a carny succubus, and for those who don’t get what that means, The Rock is “a whiny b*tch!”

Fans lose their minds again but Cody says The Rock has been convinced otherwise. But don’t think that for two seconds this locker room needs The Rock more than The Rock needs it! That’s a rule of wrestling, nobody is bigger than the business! And sure, Cody brought up his mom, so it is fair game for The Rock to use that. But Cody knows The Rock’s mom. Here’s what Cody will tell us about The Rock’s mom. She is a wonderful lady, salt of the earth, she helped Cody chop Kevin in a dark match. Cody has nothing but respect for The Rock’s mom, something The Rock should’ve echoed back towards Cody’s mom.

But see, The Rock was talking about whipping Cody, handing a bloody weight belt to Cody’s mom, and normally someone as powerful as The Rock, Mama Rhodes would tremble. But The Rock doesn’t know Cody’s mom. Cody was more scared than she was, because she ain’t scared of nothing. This is the same woman who once jumped out of her chair at a Willie Nelson concert and beat up an undercover cop! She ain’t afraid of The Rock! Cody has been asked, April 6th, biggest tag match of all time, Rock & Roman VS Cody & Seth. Seth Rollins, the World Heavyweight Champion, a man The Rock should respect because that man has carried The Rock’s company!

How will Cody get past that match? How will April 7th look? Will it be a fair fight? Cody can tell us honestly… He doesn’t know. Cody does not know if it will be Bloodline Rules or not. Hell, he might not #FinishTheStory. “But Dwayne… What do you know? How can you be so sure of your own self, right?” The Rock hasn’t been in the ring in real action in years! April 6th, the bell is gonna ring, and what happens then? Is The Rock gonna bring The Great One, the hero we all had growing up? Is he bringing that #BigDwayneEnergy? Or is it gonna be LDS, Little D*ck Syndrome?! The fans chant “L D S! L D S!”

Cody says The Rock has referred to himself as The Final Boss. Kudos for that nickname, maybe he really is that. Maybe Cody is too naive to see it. But at WrestleMania, Cody doesn’t think The Rock will be The Final Boss. At WrestleMania, he’s just Roman’s side chick. But then ladies and gentlemen, his name is Paul Heyman, and he serves as The Wise Man to Your Tribal Chief, the reigning! Defending! Undisputed! WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion, Roman… Reigns! And as Special Counsel to the Bloodline, Heyman is here to say to Cody that the ideals that Cody and Heyman share are far greater than the interests on which they conflict.

By example, don’t you hate it when someone comes out to demand an apology? Not that Cody’s done that, but Heyman is still going to do that. Heyman came out here with some “friends” of his, and he apologized. For a Wise Man, that was pretty freakin’ stupid. One: because it didn’t work. Two: because it was just dumb. And for that, Cody, to you and the fans, Heyman humbly apologizes. Cody says whoa, whoa, whoa. He didn’t ask for an apology, and he certainly knows Heyman wants permission to be in the ring. Heyman is a Hall of Famer starting this year, if he wants into the ring, be Cody’s guest.

Heyman thanks Cody for that but he’s fine on the apron. He carries with him a message from The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. Talk about Heels… You may think of Heyman anything negative you want, and that might be understanding the obvious. Heyman is not trustworthy, but Roman is a chief of his word. Heyman assures that this Friday on SmackDown, Roman will be face to face with Cody. American Nightmare, Tribal Chief, challenger and champion. And when they are face to face, there will not be a single other member of The Bloodline in sight. Except for Heyman, but he is no physical threat.

Heyman holds the title belt, the beads, whispers things in Roman’s ear, such as his love and respect. But Cody has Roman’s word that if he shows up on SmackDown, Roman will show up alone. Cody says Roman shows up alone, no Bloodline outside of Heyman, it’s a deal. They good? Heyman has some jet lag, he forgot one little point. And don’t boo him, he’s talking to Cody! Cody says yes they’re booing, and he’s about to go full Homelander and rip Heyman’s throat out if he doesn’t get to the point. Fans like the reference. Heyman composes himself and says if Roman Reigns shows up alone this Friday on SmackDown, then Cody must show up to SmackDown alone, too.

Cody steps closer to Heyman and Heyman is a bit nervous. Cody tells Heyman, “Deal!” They shake hands, and Heyman smiles. The Wise Man negotiated a purely one-on-one meeting between his Tribal Chief and American Nightmare, but can we trust Heyman was telling the truth about Roman telling the truth?

 

Nia Jax speaks.

“You know what I’ve realized? Becky Lynch has never beaten me. And after tonight, she never will. Because after I break her face again, I will be taking her spot at WrestleMania. I will finish business with Rhea Ripley, and not only will I walk out the Last Woman Standing, but I will become Women’s World Champion.” The Irresistible Force is ready for the Big Time, but will she A-Nia-late her?

 

Cody Rhodes returns backstage.

And Jey says there he go! But real quick, Cody can’t be going to SmackDown alone. Cody says he gave them his word. But The Bloodline isn’t gonna play fair! They’re all gonna be there! If Cody needs Jey, Jeys’ got him. Cody hears that, but he knows what he’s dealing with. They shake hands and Jey heads out. Will Cody be able to have that fair, one-on-one meeting? Or does Jey have a point about The Bloodline?

 

Dominik Mysterio w/ JD McDonagh VS Ricochet!

It seems Pearce agreed to the idea that Dirty Dom should try and clean up The Irish Ace’s mess. Will Dom be able to get revenge on Ricochet? Or will Ricochet be the One and Only person holding their head high tonight?

Raw returns and Dom has made his entrance. The bell rings, Dom and Ricochet circle, and they tie up. Ricochet waistlocks, Dom fights the lift and grabs ropes. The ref counts, Ricochet lets off, but Dom ELBOWS him away! Dom fires hands, soaks up the heat, then storms up, but into haymakers! Ricochet CHOPS, kicks then flexes on Dom. Ricochet whips, Dom reverses, but Ricochet goes up and over. Ricochet ducks ‘n’ dodges to then handspring back elbow! The fans fire up while Dom bails out! JD is there to coach Dom up, but Ricochet runs in! JD gets Dom to safety, but Ricochet handsprings to hero land!

The fans fire up, Ricochet then goes to ropes to TORNILLO PLANCHA! Direct hit on Dom and Ricochet tells JD to back off. Ricochet puts Dom in, Dom distracts the ref, but JD grabs Ricochet’s leg! Ricochet kicks JD away, but then Dom WRECKS Ricochet with a dropkick! Dom soaks up the heat and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Dom has Ricochet up top. Dom climbs but Ricochet throws body shots! The fans rally behind Ricochet as he sends Dom staggering. Ricochet hops down as Dom comes running back, and Ricochet GAMANGIRIS him away! Ricochet then springboards, but Dom trips him up! Ricochet flops to the mat, then Dom kicks and FACEBUSTERS! Cover, TWO! Ricochet is still in this and JD argues the count. Dom looms over Ricochet, scuffs him around, then mockingly cheers him on. Fans boo but Dom brings Ricochet up. Dom gives some Latino Heat, then suplexes! Uno Amigo, but fans boo.

Dom gets Ricochet up but Ricochet suplexes Dom instead! And then fireman’s carry, DYNAMITE KICK! Cover, TWO! Dom is still in this and JD coaches him but the fans rally for Ricochet. Ricochet stands, storms up on Dom, but Dom shoots around to roll him up! With tights! TWO, Ricochet blocks a kick and KICKS Dom down! Ricochet hurries up top, the fans fire up, but Ricochet has to bail out of the 450 as Dom moves! Dom runs in again, but into a SUPERKICK! JD gets on the apron, so Ricochet triangle jump DROPKICKS! But then Dom DROPKICKS Ricochet onto ropes! Dom dials it up but Ricochet ducks!

Dom spins around, into the RECOIL!! Cover, Ricochet wins!

Winner: Ricochet, by pinfall

But then JD runs in! Ricochet dodges, goes up and around, BOOTS JD away, then BOOTS him again! Ricochet even flips up and out of the ring at the same time! Ricochet gets the better of Judgment Day again, just how disappointed is Mami going to be in her Latino Heat this time?

 

Sami Zayn is backstage.

He finds Chad Gable and wants to talk with him. Last week’s match, that was an honor. Sami hasn’t been pushed like that in a long time, it could’ve gone either way. Gable says yeah, it was great. Thanks. Is Gable alright? Yeah, he’s fine. Kinda feels like not… Gable says he’s fine, so leave it at that. C’mon, man, how many years have they known each other? Sami knows when something’s bothering Gable, so he should just say it. Gable says look, last week, the WrestleMania opportunity, the whole thing, it just meant more to him. Sami says he’s been hearing Gable say that for weeks, and it is really unfair.

Does Gable really think he’s the only one this title opportunity matters to? Sami has a family, too! Sami’s kid cries when Papa loses a match, too. Sami has people he’s let down and is trying to make proud. After all the years put into this, Gable can’t tell Sami what matters more because he doesn’t know Sami like that. Gable has Sami calm down, and says he knows all that. But it isn’t all about that. Then what is all this? Gable says Sami can’t beat Gunther. Gable then leaves, and Sami is at a loss for words. Is this bitter side of Gable only going to get worse as we go down this Road to WrestleMania?

 

Adam Pearce is in the ring.

Raw returns with the GM by a table, and he welcomes us to a contract signing to make official the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship for WrestleMania! The fans cheer, and Pearce introduces first, the challenger, Sami Zayn! The Great Liberator makes his entrance and the fans sing along with his song. Sami still looks troubled by what Gable said just moments ago, but he still high-fives fans and gets in the ring. Then Pearce introduces the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time, Der Ring General, GUNTHER! The fans boo as Gunther walks in, having reached Day 647!

Gunther smiles as Sami watches him make his way down the ramp and into the ring. Pearce says we know how this works, but Gunther says before we proceed, let us call this what it is: the most important contract signing for the most important match in the history of this championship. And why, why, why is the challenger dressed no better than any of the bums in the audience? Fans boo but Sami just shrugs that off. Sami gets a mic to say that Gunther keeps sitting there all smug, and it’s really starting to piss Sami off. Gunther thinks this is just another day at the office, that he’ll steamroll through Sami like any other contender.

But with all respect to Gunther, he really has. He has beaten everyone that has come his way, and has done it on his own. Gunther doesn’t believe Sami can do it. A lot of people didn’t believe Sami at many points in his career. They didn’t believe he’d even make it to WWE, let alone win championships and main event a WrestleMania. And if you ask The Usos, they didn’t believe Sami would be one of the guys to end the longest tag title reign in WWE history, but he did! And one year later, he will make history again by ending the longest Intercontinental title reign in WWE history! Sami signs his part and pushes the contract over to Gunther.

The fans cheer Sami on but Gunther waits it out. Gunther tells Sami, what Sami should do is listen to his new friend, Gable. Gable doesn’t believe Sami can win. The people here cheer Sami, they probably even love Sami. But even they don’t believe Sami can win. And y’know, when Gunther looks Sami in the eyes, and if Sami was honest with himself, even Sami doesn’t believe he can win. So what Sami is doing right now is standing on Gunther’s doorstep and begging him to get the beating of a lifetime on the Grandest Stage of Them All! So whatever Sami has to do, from training to believing, just keep doing that. Because at WrestleMania, Sami’s dreams will meet reality.

Gunther grins and signs his part, and it is now official! Gunther then stands, title on his shoulder, and takes his leave. The fans boo, but then Sami tells Gunther to wait. Gunther steps back inside to hear Sami as Sami turns around. Gunther looks in Sami’s eyes and believes Sami doesn’t believe? Sami stands to get in Gunther’s face and dares him to look again. Get a good long look, because these are the eyes of the man who will take you down at Mania! The fans fire up, and now Sami leaves first. Gunther still just grins, but will Sami use a Helluva Kick to wipe that smile off his face?

We follow Sami as he storms backstage, right past DIY and The Awesome Truth. Truth asks what’s up with Sami, but The Miz says that is the mindset of WrestleMania right there. That’s what they need. DIY wishes Awesome Truth luck. Awesome Truth knows DIY is into the ladder match, and they are gonna have their own qualifier. Miz & Truth just need to beat… Indus Sher. Jinder Mahal tells Veer & Sanga to warm up for the match. They head out, and Truth says he feels sorry for whoever has to face those guys. Miz stares at Truth, and he has DIY hold off. Miz will explain. The Awesome Truth heads to gorilla, their match is next!

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The Awesome Truth VS Indus Sher w/ Jinder Mahal!

Miz wants a remix of the theme song but Truth says to just follow his lead. NC State knows what’s up, but will the Awesome Truth finally reach the top of the tag division 13 years after they first teamed? We’ll see, after the break!

Raw returns as Indus Sher makes their entrance, the Modern Day Maharaja by their side. The teams sort out and Truth starts against Sanga. The fans echo “WHAT’S UP?!” but Sanga roars! Truth is scared now so he tags Miz. Truth fires Miz up, Miz runs up and dodges Sanga to fire off haymakers! Miz kicks, whips, but Sanga blocks! Sanga whips and CLOBBERS Miz! Jinder nods as Sanga then scoops Miz and brings him over. Veer tags in, Sanga SLAMS Miz, then Veer ELBOW DROPS! Indus Sher say “NAMASTE!” but the fans say “WHAT’S UP!?” with Truth. Veer HIP DROPS Miz, then looms over him.

Veer eggs Miz on, drags him up with shoulder claws, and then steps over Miz for the neck wrench! Miz endures as Veer still digs a claw into his shoulder. The fans rally for Miz, Miz fights up and throws body shots! Miz reaches out but Veer knees low! Veer SHOVES Miz to the corner, runs in, but Miz BOOTS! Miz ELBOWS Sanga, but Veer catches him! Veer puts Miz back int he corner, but Miz ducks the boot to tag Truth! Truth dodges Veer and starts up the shoulder tackles! Truth gets around Veer to SPIN-OUT BOMB! The fans fire up as Truth shouts out Cena with “You Can’t See Me!” Truth runs to Five Knuckle Shuffle!

Jinder is not happy now as Truth fireman’s carries! But Veer slips free! Truth drop toeholds to the STF!! The fans fire up but Sanga stomps Truth! Miz fires off kicks on Sanga, then body shots! Truth joins in, they mug and whip Sanga, to DOUBLE DROPKICK! Sanga staggers around, Veer runs up, but into a full nelson! Truth and Miz combine for a SKULL CRUSHING LIE DETECTOR!! But Sanga whips Miz away! Miz WRECKS Jinder with it, but Sanga runs up! Sanga knocks Miz down, Miz anchors Sanga, Sanga ELBOWS Truth, Truth falls onto Veer for the cover! Awesome Truth wins!!

Winners: The Awesome Truth, by pinfall (advance to WrestleMania)

The fans fire up, and Truth doesn’t even realize what happened! Miz celebrates with Truth and Truth puts it together! They’re now one of the six in the ladder match! Will this combination of teamwork and luck be just what they need to take those titles from Judgment Day?

 

Sami confronts Gable now.

Sami tells Gable to tell him why. Why what? Why does Gable think Sami can’t beat Gunther? Well you just saw why! With Gunther, it isn’t just physical, it is mental. Sami made his career out of being the underdog that crawls his way out of any hole he’s in, right? Just like last week! Sami found the window of opportunity to get out of a bad situation any time he can. Gunther’s on a different level! You gonna sit and wait for that window to appear? It doesn’t happen with Gunther! He’s a different beast, a different animal. If Sami doesn’t change his mentality, then he can’t beat Gunther. Gable leaves Sami with a lot to think again. Is there a way Sami can change enough to defeat Der Ring General?

 

CM Punk speaks.

“Do I plan at being in WrestleMania? WrestleMania is in Philadelphia, what’re the first four letters in Philadelphia? Phil. You can’t have WrestleMania Philadelphia without Phil. Whether I’m invited or uninvited, Punk will be there.” And next week in Chicago, Punk returns to Raw! Will the Second City Saint find a way to be part of the biggest WrestleMania ever?

 

Drew McIntyre is here!

The Scottish Terminator, or as his new shirt says, “The Savior of WrestleMania,” makes his way to the ring, NC State a bit torn about seeing him. But then Seth Rollins is here, too!? McIntyre is upset but the fans sing along, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” as The Visionary struts his way out. Rollins swaggers right past McIntyre in his green storm pattern suit, and steps into the ring first. McIntyre frowns as he follows Rollins in, and sits in a corner. The fans continue to sing, which Rollins revels in for a moment. Rollins has the mic to then say, “RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA~! Welcome to Monday Night Rollins~!

“And Drew, hah, sorry, I didn’t even see you there. I was too busy, uh, y’know, soaking up the spotlight, right?” McIntyre has a mic to say, “Alright, here we go.” Here goes what, Drew? McIntyre says no, no, get it all out of your system, he knows Rollins has more! McIntyre can stay in the back while Rollins enjoys the spotlight, because after WrestleMania, that spotlight’s all McIntyre’s. Hey, hey, c’mon. Rollins is here with an honest cause. Rollins doesn’t like McIntyre, he thinks he’s stupid, a hypocrite, has said a lot of dumb things lately, but Rollins is here to admit that one thing McIntyre said is absolutely right and he wants to say it to McIntyre’s face, right here in Raleigh, in front of the fine people.

Now, they always say the first step to recovery is the hardest, so bare with Rollins. He has been working on this all week, but… “My name is Seth Freakin’ Rollins, and I’m a spotlight junkie.” The fans chant “Spotlight Junkie!” and also sing, but McIntyre says everything is just a joke to Rollins, isn’t it? Look at Rollins! He’s a parody of himself at this point. But honestly, McIntyre doesn’t care. He tried reasoning, he gave the answers, and now he only cares about their match and the world title. And you wanna know the real punchline, funny man? “What?” McIntyre says they say that because they’re happy McIntyre sidelined Punk, thanks for remembering!

But the punchline is when McIntyre beats Rollins for that title. The fans chant for “C M PUNK!” but McIntyre says don’t be ridiculous. Punk’s waiting until next week to return because he’d never show up in a place like Raleigh. The fans boo but McIntyre says see, they’re booing Punk! Punk is only getting off his couch to be at his local arena. Rollins tells McIntyre to shut up already. Oh, seems McIntyre got Rollins’ attention. Rollins takes off the sunglasses to say yeah, McIntyre has his attention. Because this isn’t a joke! When Rollins says he is a junkie, it isn’t a joke! He’s been doing this for 20 YEARS! Just like McIntyre!

And every time Rollins comes out of the curtain, that’s his fix. And it gets better and better every single time. Rollins comes out here, lays it all on the line, and it just gets better and better! When he hears the fans sing the song so loud, Rollins can barely speak, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” That’s Rollins’ fix! That is the spotlight he craves, and y’know what? Rollins wants the spotlight as bright as it can possibly be. So yeah, McIntyre’s been busy online entertaining people with memes, so he hasn’t been listening to Rollins. So Rollins will get this through McIntyre’s thick skull: Night One, Rollins takes the biggest star in Hollywood and his side chick, and makes them his b*tches!

Then on Night Two, the biggest spotlight possible will be shined down on McIntyre and Rollins and the World Heavyweight Championship! McIntyre says all hail the savior, Seth Rollins! This is what McIntyre wanted! The passion and desire, not the stupid laughing and dancing. Rollins had McIntyre all the way to the finish. Rollins has done this 20 years, just like McIntyre. They’ve given their lives to this industry, and that is what the title is about! The wrestlers’ title, the workhorse championship! Rollins had McIntyre with him until he mentioned the bigger spotlight and how Rollins pins one of the biggest stars in the world.

Why can’t it just be about Rollins’ hard work to make that title, and all of McIntyre’s hard work to get this chance? Why can’t that be the reason they’re getting the biggest spotlight!? Rollins has had his priorities all backwards, McIntyre has been giving him all the answers. McIntyre said he is over the BS, and all he cares about is Rollins making it to the ring on Night Two. And if Rollins can’t walk, then McIntyre will wheel him down. If not, McIntyre will carry Rollins down. At Mania, McIntyre doesn’t get the moment he deserves. He gets the moment he has bloody EARNED. The fans do cheer that!

Rollins smirks and says, “Ah, Drew. There it is. That’s right, you wanna call me a spotlight junkie, but you want the spotlight just as bad as I do, don’t you? You’re an addict, just like I am. And you’ve been begging for spotlight for the past four years, because you won the WrestleMania main event. You did, back in 2020, in an empty warehouse. And all we’ve been hearing from Drew McIntyre for the past four years was how that wasn’t good enough. You’ve been whining and complaining and bitching and moaning that you deserve better, that you deserve more. The problem is, Drew, when everybody came back around, and the lights got bright again, what happened? You fumbled the ball.

“And that’s the difference between you and me. When the lights are the brightest, I shine, baby. I shine bright. And at WrestleMania 40, the lights are gonna be as bright as they have ever been. And you are gonna find out you are not as good as you think you are.” Rollins drops the mic, but this time McIntyre smirks. The verbal battle continues, but who will put their money where their mouth is once this one finally happens?

 

Becky Lynch speaks.

“I’m a wanted woman, and I don’t even have the title. Yet. But we’re less than three weeks away from WrestleMania, so why would I risk it all? Because I don’t know anything else. All I know is taking risks. All I know is fighting. And all I know is tonight, I’m gonna be the Last Woman Standing.” Becky is fired up to finally do what she hasn’t done in the most extreme way possible. Will she be the immovable object to Nia’s irresistible force?

 

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The New Day VS The Alpha Academy!

Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods have been W, W, E, World, Tag, Team, CHAMPIONS~, but they’ve never been a part of a title match as big as this Six Pack Ladder challenge! Will they look to be part of history once again? Or will Akira Tozawa & Otis say “A THANK YEW~!” for this golden opportunity?

Raw returns as the Academy makes their entrance. The teams sort out and Woods starts against the tree trunk, Otis. The fans rally for “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” Otis and Woods tie up, but Woods kicks low then headlocks. Otis powers up and out then runs Woods over! Otis storms up on Woods, GUT RAMS him back down, then brings him back up. Otis GUT RAMS Woods again, then runs to CLOBBER Woods! Otis swivels his hips, the fans echo “Oh~ yeah!” Otis tags Tozawa and the Academy mugs Woods. Tozawa brings Woods around but Woods CHOPS! Woods tags Kofi, he and Kofi double whip Tozawa but Tozawa holds ropes!

Tozawa fires hands, dodges Woods then BOOTS Woods down! Kofi kicks low, whips Tozawa to a corner, but Tozawa BOOTS Kofi away! Tozawa goes up to FLYING RANA! The fans fire up as Tozawa sees New Day regroup outside. Tozawa runs to DIVE! Direct hit on both New Day, and Otis joins in for “A THANK YEW~!” The Academy stands tall as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Tozawa fights a chinlock. Tozawa reaches for Otis but Woods back suplexes. Tozawa lands out to then DROPKICK Woods down! The fans rally as Woods and Tozawa crawl, hot tags to Otis and Kofi! Otis CLOBBERS Kofi, CLOBBERS him again, then whips him to ropes. WRECKER ELBOW! Woods runs in, Otis dodges, to LARIAT! Otis sees Kofi leap off the corner, and catches him for a WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM! Otis rips the shirt off, winds up the hips, and then starts up the CATERPILLAR! ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Kofi survives but Otis hurries to step on him! Tag to Tozawa, and Otis goes up!

Otis VADER BOMBS but FLOPS as Kofi moves! Tozawa hurries up top while Kofi SUPERKICKS Otis! Kofi turns around into the CROSSBODY from Tozawa! Cover, TWO! Tozawa SUPERKICKS Kofi but Woods tags in! Woods GAMANGIRIS Tozawa, then steps in to TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO! Tozawa toughs it out but Woods grits his teeth as he goes to the corner. Woods climbs, but Tozawa rises! Tozawa throws body shots, Woods CLUBS Tozawa! Tozawa throws more hands and climbs up! The fans rally as they brawl up top! Tozawa brings Woods up but Woods fights the lift! Woods throws body shots in return!

Woods shifts position to get under Tozawa for a fireman’s carry! But then Tozawa pops up to SUPER STEINER!! Tozawa rips off his shirt, climbs back up top, SUPER SENTON!! Cover, Kofi breaks it! The fans fire up but Otis drags Kofi out! Otis whips Kofi at steps, Kofi goes up and jumps off the steps to TORNADO DDT to the floor! Kofi hurries back up to the apron but Tozawa SCREW HIGH KICKS him down! Tozawa dodges Woods, pop-up, but Woods blocks the rana to then SPINNING POWERBOMB! Woods sees the WrestleMania sign, hurries up the corner, and he tightrope walks! LIMIT BREAK ELBOW!! Cover, New Day wins!

Winners: The New Day, by pinfall (advance to WrestleMania)

The New Day are the ones saying A THANK YEW~ as they put their names down for the Six Pack Ladder Match! Will they once again climb to the top of the WWE Tag Team Division and bring home those championships?

 

Liv Morgan confronts Becky Lynch.

Becky asks if she’ll have to watch out for Liv as well. Well, you should always #WatchMe, but no, not tonight. Nia is all Becky’s. Liv just wants Becky to kick Nia’s ass. Liv leaves, will Becky kick ass and then some?

 

Cody walks with his dog, Pharaoh, backstage.

Rollins finds him and brings up Friday. One on one? One on one. Rollins nods and says he loves Pharaoh’s bandanna. The Visionary trusts the American Nightmare can handle himself, but will we be able to trust The Tribal Chief?

 

Last Woman Standing: Becky Lynch VS Nia Jax!

From the origins of “The Man” in WWE to the aftermath of Elimination Chamber: Perth, these two have battled, but never as brutally as this! They’re able to go anywhere and do anything, but who will be the Last Woman Standing this close to WrestleMania 40?

The bell rings and the two rush in! Becky DROPKICKS Nia and Nia goes to a corner. Becky runs in but Nia puts Becky on the apron. Becky ROCKS Nia, goes up a corner, then leaps to MISSILE DROPKCIK! Nia stumbles and tumbles out of the ring, so Becky WRECKS her with another dropkick! Becky then goes to the apron for a FLYING FOREARM! Nia stays up, Becky tries again, but Nia dodges! Fireman’s carry and Nia POSTS Becky, to then SAMOAN DROP her into barriers! The ref counts as Becky is down, but she stands at 4 of 10. Nia CLOBBERS Becky and wants the count! The count climbs but Nia is impatient.

Nia clears off the desk, Becky stands at 5 of 10, and she leans against barriers. Becky comes back with body shots and haymakers, but Nia ROCKS her with a forearm! Becky staggers away as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Becky is bringing out a table! The fans fire up as Becky sets that up ringside. There’s been a lot of chaos during the break according to commentary, from chairs to kendo sticks to even a copy of Becky’s book, The Man: Not Your Average Average Girl! But Nia storms over to stop Becky and SMACK her off the desk! Nia puts Becky in the ring, takes that table for her own and sets it up. The table doesn’t cooperate and fans boo, but Nia goes for chairs instead. She slides those in the ring, Becky manages to stand at 7 of 10, and she grabs at those chairs. Nia ditches the table, it just doesn’t wanna work.

Nia storms in but Becky JAMS her with a chair, SMACKS her with it, then clinches! Nia fights the slam, fireman’s carries Becky, and FULL METAL SAMOAN DROPS!! Becky writhes from hitting chairs but Nia looms over her. Nia soaks up the heat as she counts along. Becky flounders to ropes and drags herself up at 7! Nia sits a chair up, fans want a table, but Nia scoops Becky. Becky slips around to a SLEEPER! Nia RAMS Becky into buckles again and again until Becky lets go. But then Becky BULLDOGS Nia off the chair! Nia is down for the count now, and Becky leans against ropes to stay up herself.

Nia stirs at 5, stands at 8, but Becky is up top! Becky leaps, into a CHAIR SHOT! Nia SMACKS Becky again and again and again! The fans boo but Nia finally stops. Nia puts that chair aside and goes out to get some kendo sticks! Nia puts those in, but Becky grabs one! Nia snatches it from her to SMACK! And SMACK! And SMACK! Becky sputters and staggers, Nia clinches and scoops! Nia SLAMS Becky onto chairs! Then Nia runs to drop the leg, brother! Nia wants the count and the count begins! Becky sputters as we reach 5 of 10. Becky grabs that kendo stick but Nia SMACKS Becky with a chair! And again!

Nia kicks Becky around, then uses the chair to take a seat on Becky’s body!! The fans boo as the count begins, but Becky SMACKS Nia with the kendo stick! And again and again and again, even in the butt! Nia stands up, into more shots! Becky stands and she fires away until Nia scurries out of the ring! Becky pursues but Nia CLOBBERS her! Nia pulls the steel steps apart now, and takes that top half to RAM Becky down! Becky flounders, Nia hauls her up and puts her in the ring. Becky’s on the apron and Nia takes aim! Nia runs up, APRN LEG DROP only gets apron! Becky avoids disaster, then has Nia by the steps! DDT onto the steel!

Nia is down again and the count begins. Nia stirs at 5 of 10, sits up at 6, but Becky SMACKS her off steps! Nia falls over again and the count resets. Becky hurries to go looking for things while Nia rises again. Becky has a new table! The fans fire up as Becky gets that in the ring. Nia stands at 7, staggers after Becky, and Raw goes back to break.

Raw returns once again and Nia mugs Becky against barriers! Nia puts Becky on a table, and surprise! There’s a ladder set up now! Nia climbs the ladder?! She also demands Pat support the ladder. But Becky gets off the table so now Nia has no reason to be up there. Nia storms after Becky, but gets a FIRE EXTINGUISHER BLAST!! The fans fire up as Becky cools Nia off, then JAMS her with the canister! Becky puts Nia in the ring, and there’s a table waiting in a corner! Becky lines up the shot, and runs in, but Nia SAMOAN DROPS Becky through the table!!! Both women are down in the wreckage and the count begins!

Nia flounders away from the wreckage but she still needs to stand. Nia is up at 5, and she isn’t satisfied with this! She drags Becky all the way to another corner and puts her in the drop zone! Nia climbs up, for the A-NIA-LATOR!! Nia shouts for the count, the count begins, and Nia storms around as she points to the Mania sign. Becky is still down at 5 of 10, only starts stirring at 7, and she slumps out of the ring to stand up! Nia is furious, goes out after Becky, and kicks things aside to keep after her. Nia asks if Becky’s vision is blurry. Nia fireman’s carries Becky up the steel steps and along the apron, aiming for that other table!

The fans freak out but Becky fights with elbows! Becky CLUBS away on Nia and the fans are thunderous! Becky then clinches, for a MANHANDLE SLAM through the table!!! Both women are down int he wreckage again, and the count begins! Becky sits up at 4 while fans are still losing their minds! We pass 5 of 10, then 7! Nia sits up at 8 and stands at 9! But then she slumps back over! The count starts again, Nia flounders around and stands at 5. Becky goes up the ladder! Becky sees Nia approaching the desk, and then SUPER MAN’S LEG DROP through the desk!!! The fans lose their minds again while both men are down in more wreckage!

The count is 5 of 10! Becky flounders and crawls, drags herself up at 9, but Nia is still down! BECKY WINS!!

Winner: Becky Lynch

The Man conquers truly one of the most intense challenges in her career! But then here comes one of the most intense champions! The fans fire up as Rhea Ripley makes her way out, Women’s World Championship in hand. She goes right to the ring and looks at Becky. Rhea “congratulates” Becky for winning, but then Becky gets in Rhea’s face! The fans fire up, and now there are no obstacles in the way of Mami VS The Man! Who will be the champion after WrestleMania 40?


My Thoughts:

A great Raw right here, though the in-ring action kinda dipped down until that awesome Last Woman Standing main event. This is one of the times I wish they’d done picture in picture so we as the TV audience could see even more action. Great win for Becky, of course, but I also like that Becky had a moment with Liv just before, and of course she had a moment with Rhea to close out the night. Great promos with Sami and Gable that also blended into the contract signing from tonight. And I suppose Gable has a point that Sami, the comeback kid, can’t do that when Gunther has an arsenal of moves that would be “finishers” given all the different ways Gunther has won over the years.

And speaking of that contract signing segment, I really liked the segue they did in following Sami so that he’d cross paths with Awesome Truth at gorilla and we’d get their segment going into their match. WWE has been doing some really creative stuff in this newest era where Vince is truly out and apparently even Kevin Dunn has moved on. Awesome Truth had a really fun but also really quick tag match with Indus Sher, and then New Day VS Alpha Academy was solid stuff, but DIY VS Creeds was such an awesome match. For a moment, I thought Creeds were gonna take this one but DIY still found a way, and I like that DIY is in. Honestly, I’m liking that the HHH favorites are getting in, because we also have New Catch Republic on the other side that can still win into the match.

Judgment Day had good stuff tonight, too. Good group promo with Andrade to tease El Idolo possibly joining, but who knows if he does. Depends on how things go for Priest. He was watching the qualifiers, he’s not worried, but maybe he should be. Granted, he still has the MITB briefcase, he could go from losing the tag titles to taking the world title, who knows how the Judgment Day’s story is going to go as we move past Mania. Dom VS Ricochet was a really good match, and Ricochet winning was the right move to keep this feud going. I think there’s going to be Ricochet VS McDonagh next week as a rematch from the gauntlet, that’ll be great stuff, too.

Candice’s Heel turn slow burn continues as she takes advantage of the “hurt” leg. Indi also does a good job of being very conflicted about this. There’s a WWE YouTube exclusive where Ivy Nile confronts Candice so that’ll be a match, and then maybe when Candice again goes too far, Indi steps in and we get a match of Candice VS Indi at some point. Good little update promo from CM Punk, he’ll have a great homecoming moment in Chicago, but also probably McIntyre coming after him. McIntyre had a great promo segment with Rollins, and with all these continued moments where the other person gets the mic drop moment, it feels like McIntyre has to win the title.

And of course, great stuff with the Bloodline story even on Raw. Jey and Jimmy have great promos in their confrontation, and of course it turns into a brawl. Good segue from that to Heyman being here, and Heyman confronting Cody during Cody’s great promo segment. Cody really went off on The Rock, that was some wild stuff. But the supposed promise of “one on one and no one else aside from Heyman” might be kept, and we get a strong promo segment on SmackDown in a foreshadowing of the fair-and-square 1v1 match. Or it is a trap and that’s more a foreshadowing of Bloodline Rules where they can do whatever they want. Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

My Score: 8.9/10


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Mitchell’s NJPW New Japan Cup Results & Report! (3/18/24)

The semifinals are here!

Published

on

We’re just one step away from the Cup!

Cold Skull faces The Fierce Warrior, and Gene Blast faces The King of Darkness, and when the smoke clears, we will have our New Japan Cup finalists!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Boltin Oleg & Shoma Kato VS Zack Sabre Jr. & Mikey Nicholls; ZSJ & Mikey win.
  • Six Man Tag: El Desperado, Tomohiro Ishii & Togi Makabe VS Just5Guys; Just5Guys win.
  • Tanga Loa & Ryusuke Taguchi VS Great-O-Khan & Callum Newman; Loa & Taguchi win.
  • Six Man Tag: YOSHI-HASHI, Toru Yano & Hiroyoshi Tenzan VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: Shota Umino, El Phantasmo, Hikuleo & YOH VS The House of Torture; Shota, ELP, Leo & Yoh win.
  • Six Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS The United Empire; LIJ wins.
  • 2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: Yota Tsuji VS EVIL; Tsuji wins and advances to the finals.
  • 2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: SANADA VS Hirooki Goto; Goto wins and advances to the finals.

PLAY BY PLAY

2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: Yota Tsuji VS EVIL w/ Dick Togo!

The Gene Blast overcame the tricks Ren Narita tried, but that’s because the House of Torture was saving all the good stuff so they could slay the Rampaging Dragon. Will the deck be even more stacked to make sure Everything is Evil’s? Or will Yota be one step away from LIJ VS LIJ at Sakura Genesis?

Well, Dick is making his way out here, but where is Evil? Oh, there he is. No tricks just yet it seems. But then Yota DIVES onto Evil! The fans fire up but Dick attacks Yota! Dick whips, Yota stops himself, and then scoops Dick for a BACKBREAKER! The fans fire up and Yota wants the bell. The ref says yes, ring the bell, and this is on the record! Yota stomps and CLUBS Evil, then whips, but Evil reverses! Yota hits railing, and then Evil whips him into more railing! Evil CHOKES Yota against the railing, Yota fights back, but the ref gets knocked aside! Evil puts Yota in so he and Dick can stomp away!

The fans boo but here comes the rest of the House already! Narita, Yujiro, Kanemaru and Jack all stomp away on Yota, but here come Bushi & Hiromu! It’s a replay of yesterday as LIJ fights off the House, but the numbers are still against them! The ref rushes in to tell everyone to stop! Evil shoves the ref out of the ring, Yota fires off on him, but Evil CLAWS Yota’s eyes! The House CHOKES LIJ, but the ref says stop! The bell rings, but what is the decision!? NO CONTEST!?

No Contest

What does this mean!? Someone has to advance, right? The finals aren’t until the 20th, how can there be a no contest? The House started this, where’re the consequences?! Yota gets up but Evil TOSSES him back out! LIJ regroups and Yota asks for a mic. Yota tells Evil that he’s sick and tired of this! They ARE gonna finish this match! The fans like the sound of that! All the refs come out, including Red Shoes, to discuss how this will be handled. For starters, they tell all the extras to get outta here! LIJ is cool with that, and Hiromu tells the House to come along. Evil says fine, and Jack, Kanemaru, Narita, Yujiro and even Dick reluctantly exit.

The announcement is officially made, and the bell rings! Yota and Evil rush in, Evil kicks low but Yota CLUBS away on Evil! Evil CLAWS the eyes! Evil kicks, runs, RAMS, but Yota rebounds to run Evil over! Then run and SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Yota fires up and the fans are with him! Evil bails out but the fans rally for Yota. Evil wants Yota to stay back, then he slides in, only to slide right out! Yota runs out after Evil, but Evil kicks him! Evil RAMS Yota into the timekeeper! Abe-san and his table go flying! Evil gets the mic to tell Yota that this is what he gets! The fans boo but Evil tells them off, too! Evil stomps Yota then soaks up the heat.

Evil unties the blue buckle pad himself, then waits in the ring. The ref checks Yota and the fans rally up again. The Young Lions help Abe-san while Yota drags himself up. Yota slides in, the fans cheer, but Evil pulls on Yota’s hair! Evil wrenches the hair, then wrenches it again! And again! Evil CLUBS the hair! The ref reprimands but Evil just dusts off his hands. Evil covers, but the ref refuses to count! Evil is furious but he’s the one up to no good! The ref still says no, so Evil stands on Yota’s head. The fans rally up, Yota rises, and he grins as he winds up to ROCK Evil with a forearm! And ROCK him with another!

Yota ROCKS Evil again, but Evil whips him into the bare buckles! Yota falls and the ref reprimands about the missing buckle pad. Evil stomps Yota, covers, TWO! The fans cheer but Evil is annoyed. Evil scuffs Yota, taunts him, and drags him up. Evil CHOPS, Yota drops to his knees, but Evil stands him back up. Evil CHOPS again and Yota grits his teeth as he drops to his knees! Evil stands Yota up again, to fake the chop to CLAW the eyes! The ref reprimands, Evil lets off, and then Evil stands on Yota in a corner. The ref counts, Evil lets go of the ropes but that’s not the problem! Evil steps away, drags Yota up but claims he’s dead weight.

The ref checks, Evil stands Yota up and wrenches an arm. Evil whips Yota into a corner, runs in, but into a BOOT! Evil runs in again, blocks the boot, but Yota brings Evil in for the STOMP! The fans fire up while Yota rests on the mat. The fans rally up and Yota rises again. Evil’s in the corner, runs out, but into the BACKBREAKER! COMPLETE SHOT! STOMP! The fans fire up again as Yota stands back up. Yota runs, to CURB STOMP!! Yota roars and the fans fire up again! Evil flounders while Yota aims. Yota runs in, but the ref is used as a shield! Evil kicks Yota low, then uses the ref in MAGIC KILLER!

All three men are down while the fans rally up again. Evil stands, he brings Yota up, and the ref also rises. Evil whips Yota into the bare buckles, then clotheslines him in! Then FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, but Evil lets off?! Evil wants to torture Yota but it’s hard to say if Yota is still even in this. Yota opens his eyes, rises up, but Evil fireman’s carries! DARKNESS FALLS! Cover, TWO!! Yota survives, the fans fire up, but Evil is furious! Evil slashes his throat and vows to end this now! Evil drags Yota up, spins him around, but Yota fights the STO with elbows! Evil kicks low, whips again, but Yota stops from hitting buckles!

Evil runs in, Yota dodges and Evil hits the buckles! SUPERKICK!! Both men are down again and the fans fire back up! We’re only ten minutes into this new match but this is on top of the madness from earlier. Evil drags Yota up, but Yota ROCKS Evil! Evil fights Yota’s fireman’s carry and CLUBS him, but both men wobble. Evil LARIATS, but Yota stays up! The fans fire up but Evil swings to LARIAT again! Yota drops to a knee, but he grins through the pain! Evil says alright, and he throws off his elbow pad. Evil runs to LARIAT! Yota grits his teeth to stay up! V-TRIGGER! Yota brings Evil in, suplexes, ORANGE CRUSH! Cover, TWO!!

Evil is still in this but the fans rally behind Yota again. Yota rises, drags Evil up, and then goes to the corner. Yota goes up and up and Evil moves the ref into the way! The ref takes the FLYING CURB STOMP!!! And now the House returns! The fans boo as Kanemaru, Dick, Yujiro, Narita & Jack all stomp away on Yota again! The fans tell them to go home, again, but these guys don’t care! They just put one out on Yota. They whip Yota to a corner, then DIck runs in to ELBOW! Kanemaru ELBOWS! Yujiro BOOTS! Jack SPLASHES! Narita ELBOWS! Then they snapmare and set Yota up! Dick climbs for the DICK CHOP!!

The fans boo but the House applauds their own dirtiness. But here come Bushi & Hiromu again! But they just get mugged again! They set Hiromu up for the DICK CHOP, while Bushi gets a JACK CHOP! The House then slithers away before a replacement ref rushes out here. Evil drags Yota up, winds up and runs, to LARIAT!! Cover, TWO!!! Yota survives and the fans are thunderous! Evil is at a loss for words, but he slashes his throat! He vows to end it for real, and he reels Yota in. EVERYTHING IS- Yota flips through!? And HEADBUTTS!! The fans fire up as Yota reels Evil in for a fireman’s carry! 70 CROSS!! Cover, TWO!!

Evil survives the swinging spinebuster and the House cheers! Yota drags himself to a corner, drags himself up with the ropes, and roars as he takes aim! Evil rises, but Yujiro distracts! Dick runs in, but gets a V-TRIGGER! The ref sees Dick, but misses the LOW BLOW! Then Evil RAMS Yota into the ref! That’s the second ref this match! Narita gets his push-up bar! The others set Yota up, but here comes SHINGO TAKAGI! The Rampaging Dragon has seen enough, and he’s still pissed from yesterday as it is! He dodges Narita to PUMPING BOMBER! Kanemaru & Yujiro kick Takagi, double whip, but he DOUBLE PUMPING BOMBERS!!

Jack gets in, but he gets ELBOW, JAB and YUKON LARIAT! Evil runs up but Takagi SWATS Evil’s lariat to JAB! Then feed to Hiromu’s SUPERKICK! Hiromu & Takagi set Evil up for Bushi’s BLACK MIST!! Evil can’t see, the PUMPING BOMBER turns him inside-out!! The fans are thunderous as LIJ helps Yota up! Red Shoes hurries out here, and Yota aims at Evil! GENE BLASTER!!! Cover, Yota wins!!!

Winner: Yota Tsuji, by pinfall (advances to the finals)

The House of Torture ran out of tricks, and now there is light at the end of the tournament! Will Yota do LIJ proud and bring home the Cup?

 

2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: SANADA VS Hirooki Goto!

One down, one to go. Yota Tsuji has made it through, now we see who joins him in the finals! Will the Cold Skull or Fierce Warrior be the one that steps closer to former glory?

The bell rings and the fans duel between “GO-TO-O!” and “SA-NA-DA!” Red Shoes measures the levels, and it seems to slightly favor Goto. Goto and Sanada circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Goto gets some leverage to put Sanada against ropes, but he lets off slowly. Goto pats Sanada on the shoulders and the fans cheer. The two reset, circle again, and tie up again. It’s another deadlock, but again Goto finds a way to put Sanada on ropes. Sanada turns things around, lets off slowly, and also pats Goto on the shoulders. The fans applaud and the two reset again. They feel things out, knuckle lock, then move to a clinch.

They fight for control, Sanada starts pushing Goto towards a corner but Goto slips away. They feel things out, knuckle lock again, then break. They tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, Goto waistlocks, but Sanada wrenches to wristlock. Goto rolls, wrenches, wristlocks, but Sanada spins, wrenches, only for Goto to roll! Goto gets a leg to trip Sanada up, and he has a toehold. Sanada fights back with a chinlock but Goto pulls on the leg. Sanada uses his free leg to hook Goto into an ARMBAR, but Goto clasps hands! Goto moves around, pops free, then headlocks. Sanada fights up, Goto grinds the headlock, but Sanada throws body shots.

Sanada powers up and out, but Goto runs him over! The fans rally as things speed up, and Goto counters hip toss with hip toss! Goto runs and he clotheslines Sanada up and out! The fans fire up and Goto slides out after Sanada. Goto stomps Sanada, drags him up, then CLUBS him on the neck! Sanada staggers, Goto CHOPS him, then kicks him, then CLUBS him! Goto whips but Sanada stops himself from hitting railing! Goto runs in but Sanada drop toeholds him into the railing! Goto goes down in a heap, but Sanada opens the gate. Sanada brings Goto through, then to the crowd! PILEDRIVER to the bare floor!

The fans are stunned but Red Shoes reprimands. Sanada leaves Goto behind and slides into the ring. The fans rally for Goto as the ring count begins. Goto crawls at 5 of 20, finds his way to ringside at 10, but still hobbles and crawls. He stands at 17 to slide in! The fans cheer, but Sanada stomps Goto. Sanada drags Goto up, CLUBS him on the neck, then brings him back up to CLUB him again. Goto CHOPS! And CHOPS! Sanada eggs Goto on so Goto CHOPS again! Goto whips, Sanada reverses to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Cover, TWO! Sanada keeps cool and sits Goto up into a chinlock. Goto endures and the fans rally again.

Goto kicks forward, reaches out, but Sanada cranks on the hold! Goto keeps fighting, and has the ROPEBREAK! Sanada lets go cleanly, but then he stomps Goto while he’s down. Sanada then stands Goto up to CLUB him on the neck. Goto CHOPS in return! And CHOPS, and CHOPS, and has Sanada in a corner! Goto CHOPS again, then whips corner to corner. Goto runs in, but Sanada BOOTS first! Sanada runs, Goto follows, and Goto LARIATS Sanada down! The fans fire up and Goto rises, clutching his neck. Goto stands Sanada up to fire off forearms, then he whips corner to corner. Goto runs in, MURAMASA!

Sanada wobbles, into the SAIDO! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up while Goto grits his teeth. Goto drags Sanada up, fireman’s carries, but Sanada fights free! Sanada waistlocks, Goto throws elbows, then runs. Sanada hurdles, hurdles, and DROPKICKS! Goto tumbles out of the ring, Sanada PLANCHAS him down! The fans fire up and Sanada encourages them to get louder. The fans get louder and Sanada appreciates it. Sanada then goes back for Goto, brings him up and puts him in the ring. Sanada fireman’s carries but Goto throws elbows! Sanada turns around into Goto’s fireman’s carry, but then slips out into the dragon sleeper!

But Goto arm-drags free! Sanada kicks low, runs, but Goto follows! Sanada dodges this time, runs again, but Goto still follows! Sanada sidesteps this time, but Goto holds ropes to avoid the hurdle! Goto runs in, but Sanada fireman’s carries! T K O! Cover, TWO! Goto is still in this and the fans rally up! Sanada goes up the corner, ROUNDING BODY- NO, Sanada has to land out as Goto moves! Sanada runs in, but into the fireman’s carry! USHIGOROSHI! Both men are down and the fans fire up again! They cheer on “GO-TO-O!” but the “SA-NA-DA!” chants are still there. Red Shoes checks them both, and both men slowly rise.

The two crawl towards each other, and Goto fires a forearm! Sanada shakes his head, eggs Goto on, so Goto throws another! Goto eggs Sanada on, so Sanada fires a forearm! Goto fires a forearm back, and the two stand. Sanada UPPERCUTS! Goto comes back to forearm! Sanada UPPERCUTS again, and Goto drops back to a knee! The fans rally, Goto stands again, and he forearms! UPPERCUT, forearm, repeat! Goto growls, fires a flurry of forearms, and he ROCKS Sanada! Sanada drops to his hand and knees but Goto powers up! Goto KICKS but Sanada blocks! Goto fires more forearms, then waistlocks, but Sandaa fights free!

Sanada runs, but Goto fireman’s carries! And he throws Sanada into the dragon sleeper! But Sanada turns around and suplexes, for MAGIC SCREW! Both men are down again and the fans fire back up! Sanada roars as he rises up, and he aims from a corner. Sanada wants Goto to get up, and Goto sits up, into the SHINING WIZARD! Sanada then dragon sleepers, for the SKULL END!! Goto endures, flails, reaches out, but he’s caught in the body scissors! Goto fights around but he’s fading! The fans rally, Goto’s hand drops! Sanada lets him go to then climb! ROUNDING BODY PRESS! Cover, TWO!!

The fans fire up as Goto survives but Sanada storms around. Sanada drags Goto up, reels him in and clinches, but Goto slips free to shove Sanada away! Sanada forearms, ROLLING- HEADBUTT from Goto! The fans fire up and duel, and Goto drags Sanada up. But Sanada breaks free! Goto HEADBUTTS again! Sanada falls back down and Goto steadies himself. Goto roars, the fans are with him, and Goto sits Sanada up. Goto runs to PENALTY KICK! Shoutout to Shibata and the fans fire up more! Sanada grits his teeth as he sits back up but Goto takes aim! BUZZSAW! And then he hauls Sanada up to dragon sleeper! G T- BACKSLIDE COUNTER! TWO!!!

Sanada and Goto hurry up, Sanada dodges to O’Conner BRIDGE!! TWO?!!? Goto escapes and shocks everyone! Sanada resets, runs in, SHINING WIZARD!! The fans are thunderous as Sanada roars and drags Goto back up! Clinch and DEAD- NO, Goto slips around to ripcord and fireman’s carry! G T W!! Cover, TWO?!?!? Sanada survives but Goto is all fired up! The fans are thunderous as Goto dragon sleepers for G T R!!! Cover, GOTO WINS!!!

Winner: Hirooki Goto, by pinfall (advances to the finals)

Don’t call it a comeback, Goto’s been here for years! Sanada’s hopes of being IWGP World Heavyweight Champion again have been delayed, how long must he wait for another chance?

As for Goto, he’s going back to the New Japan Cup Finals for the first time since 2016, and his seventh overall! But before he can get the mic to speak, Yota makes his way back out here. Yota steps into the ring and he gets the mic first. Yota tells Goto, “In order to open the door to a new era, we must do this.” The fans applaud that, and Yota continues by asking Goto, “Are you ready?!” Yota drops the mic at Goto’s feet, and Goto stands up to speak. “I also have something I want to show you. As a three-time New Japan Cup Champion, I will show you my strength.” The fans like the sound of that!

The Fierce Warrior stares down with Gene Blast, a true generational showdown on the horizon! Will Goto return not juts to former glory, but finally ascend to top of NJPW? Or will Yota make it LIJ VS LIJ for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship?


My Thoughts:

A great semifinal round for this tournament, with quite a surprising main event. Sanada VS Goto was great stuff, and while I felt Sanada wasn’t winning the Cup, I didn’t think he’d be out this round. Yota VS Evil was rather creatively put together, too. I did not think the House would get so involved that at first it was a No Contest but then they restart under a ringside ban. Takagi making sure Yota won was good stuff, too, maybe we can get Takagi VS Evil for the NEVER Openweight Championship if they’re not gonna circle back to more Shota Umino VS House of Torture stuff.

Goto VS Yota is going to be great stuff, and Goto is clearly a top utility guy. He’s had so many New Japan Cup finals appearances, certainly among the most ever, but I don’t think he gets a fourth Cup win against Yota, one of the “new era Musketeers” that NJPW clearly loves. Yota VS Naito is definitely the title match for Sakura Genesis.

My Score: 8.9/10


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