AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (3/30/21)

Dark closes out March in a big way!

Published

2 years ago

March 30, 2021

Steven Mitchell

Dark is building up for the Spring!

Before Dynamite but after what they did on Elevation, Miro & Kip are in action on AEW Dark to tune up for the Arcade Anarchy! Will they level up before battling Chuck Taylor & Orange Cassidy?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

The Butcher & The Blade w/ The Hardy Family Office VS Milk Chocolate; The Butcher & Blade win.
Jazmin Allure VS Madi Wrenkowski; Wrenkowski wins.
Chaos Project VS Dean Alexander & Justin Law; Chaos Project wins.
Sonny Kiss w/ Joey Janela VS Angelico w/ Jack Evans; Angelico wins.
Six Man Tag: Evil Uno, Stu Grayson & Colt Cabana w/ The Dark Order VS Vary Morales, Bill Collier & D3; The Dark Order wins.
Jurassic Express VS Adam Priest & KC Navarro; Jurassic Express wins.
Diamante VS Vipress; Diamante wins.
Six Man Tag: Team Taz VS Jake St. Patrick, Sage Scott & Chandler Hopkins; Team Taz wins.
Six Woman Tag: Big Swole, Red Velvet & Kilynn King VS Vertvixen, Ashley Vox & Delmi Exo; Swole, Velvet & King win.
Michael Nakazawa VS Mike Magnum; Nakazawa wins.
Miro & Kip Sabian w/ Penelope Ford VS Baron Black & John Skyler; Miro & Kip win.
Max Caster w/ Anthony Bowen VS Alex Reynolds w/ the Dark Order; Caster wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Butcher & The Blade w/ The Hardy Family Office VS Milk Chocolate!

There’s not even time for teams to sort out, Butcher and Blade just jump Randy Summers and Brandon Watts! Butcher stomps Summers in the ring while Blade kicks Watts out. Butcher CHOPS Summers, then whips him corner to corner. Summers elbows back, throws forearms, then dodges Butcher’s forearms to ROCK him! Butcher deflects the drop kick, to then back suplex SLAM him down! Butcher hauls Summers up, scoops, tags Blade, and they combine for a lawn dart KICK! Bunny, Hardy and Private Party are loving this as Blade sends Summers to the corner. Watts tags in, but runs into a kick! Blade fires off haymakers and CHOPS, then stomps away!

The ref counts, Blade lets off, and he drags Watts up to CHOP him! Blade whips Watts corner to corner, Watts goes up and over to CHOP back! Watts whips, Blade reverses but Watts goes up and over to CHOP again! Fans rally for Watts but Private Party distracts! Watts goes up and over but Hardy drags him down to SLAM him onto the timekeeper’s table! Hardy fakes like HE is the one attacked, and the HFO play along. Summers checks on Watts, Butcher CLOBBERS him and drags Watts back to the ring. Blade chokes Watts on ropes, the ref counts and Blade lets off. Isiah Kassidy gets his shots in! Butcher tags in, digs his knee into Watts, but lets off as the ref counts.

Butcher drags Watts up, bumps him hard off buckles, then drags him back up. Butcher CHOPS Watts off his feet! Butcher drags Watts up, tags in Blade, and they double headbutt him down! Blade taunts Watts, drags him up and snapmares him to a neck wrench. Blade drives an elbow into Watts’ head, stomps him down, but Watts fights back. Blade rakes Watts’ eyes! Tag to Butcher, and Butcher DECKS Watts with a right. Butcher chokes Watts on ropes, Bunny Allie laughs at Watts again, but Watts hits a jawbreaker! Watts kicks a leg out, hits a mule kick, then tags in Summers! Butcher tags Blade but Summers fires off on Blade!

The ref has to back him down, but he comes back to ROCK Blade, go corner to corner and UPPERCUT! Summers keeps moving, he ducks to mule kick and FISHERMAN NECKBREAKER! Fans fire up, Summers tags Watts and then DECKS Butcher! Milk Chocolate coordinates, but Blade fights the double suplex to swing, into a ROLLING ELBOW, BOOT, front kick and ENZIGURI! Allie distracts, Butcher gets back in and Butcher CLOBBERS Milk Chocolate! Summers is thrown out, Blade gets Watts up, DRAG THE LAKE!! Cover, HFO wins!

Winners: The Butcher & The Blade, by pinfall

Milk Chocolate melted and now the HFO is getting that winner’s check! Now that we’re past the first quarter, will Big Money Matt and his clients be flush with cash?

Jazmin Allure VS Madi Wrenkowski!

On this week’s Dark: Elevation, Allure was alongside Tesha Price and lost to the AEW Women’s World Champion and the current #1 contender! Will she face reality that she’s just not there yet? Or will she show Madi otherwise?

Leva Bates is on commentary, as one: she’s excited to watch women’s wrestling growing in AEW, and two: she did team with Madi once and it didn’t really go well. Will the Librarian secretly be rooting one way or another?

The bell rings and Allure rushes and dropkicks Madi! Allure fires off forearms, stomps her in the corner, then brings Madi out. Madi shoves Allure, arm-drags her around, then clamps onto the arm. Allure endures, fans rally, and Leva runs down Madi’s outfit with the one leg tights. Allure arm-drags Madi but Madi drags her back to the armlock. Madi cranks the arm, Allure fights up and throws knees then CLUBS Madi on the back. Allure snapmares then KICKS Madi in the arm! Allure runs and basement dropkicks! Fans fire up, Allure drags Madi up and whips. Madi reverses and elbows Allure down! Madi brings Allure up, whips her, and back drops her high and hard!

Allure scrambles out to avoid the cover but Madi pursues. Madi lurks, runs in and CLOBBERS Allure! Madi puts Allure in the ring, brings her back up, but Allure jawbreakers! Madi staggers, Allure clubs her at the ropes, then stomps her down. Allure throws her armband at Madi then stomps her more! Allure snapmares Madi, rains down rights, but the ref counts. Allure lets off then drops an elbow! Cover, TWO! Allure grows frustrated with Madi already, lets out a squeal, and drags Madi up. Madi reverses the whip then follows, but Allure is ready with a clothesline! Cover, TWO! Allure drags Madi up, whips her but Madi holds ropes to kick back!

Madi CLOBBERS Allure again, then dropkicks her down! Allure flounders, Madi runs at the corner to fire off forearms! Madi runs in for another forearm smash, then scoops for a SPINNING SIDEWALK SLAM! Madi runs to SCISSOR KICK! Cover, Madi wins!

Winner: Madi Wrenkowski, by pinfall

Leva lets us know Madi calls that the Reality Check, and Allure just cashed it. Will Madi be checking off a top 5 spot with that in the near future?

Chaos Project VS Dean Alexander & Justin Law!

Luther & Serpentico have been up and down, but they’ll never stop trying! Will the Original Death Dealer and SNAKEMAN get back up against The Sensation and The Law?

Taking a cue from the HFO, Luther doesn’t let his opponents sort out, he makes Serpentico TOPE SUICIDA out onto Alexander! Law realizes what happened and Luther rushes him at the apron! Law shoulders in and slingshots over but Luther CLOBBERS him! Luther kicks Law to a corner, runs in and clotheslines then stomps him down! The ref counts, Luther lets off to then knee low. Tag to Serpentico, he jumps in and they mug Law. Serpentico throws elbows, bumps Law off buckles, stomps him and whips him corner to corner. Law goes up and over, hip tosses Serpentico then arm-drags him! Serpentico staggers into a scoop and SLAM! Cover, TWO, right before Luther runs in and elbow drops Serpentico!

Law dropkicks Luther out of the ring! Law throws hands on Serpentico, CHOPS him, then throws more hands. The ref counts, Law whips corner to corner but Serpentico slips out to avoid the corner clothesline. Law DECKS Serpentico but Luther drags him out to throw him into railing! Luther gets away and Serpentico stomps Law down. Serpentico puts Law in, drags him up, and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Luther and he KICKS Law, then reels him in for a clothesline! Luther calls his shot and brings Law up, LUTHER BOMB! Luther DECKS Alexander for good measure, then stomps Law. Luther scoops Law to SLAM him, tag to Serpentico for the slingshot stomps!

Serpentico digs his boots in, lets off to bring Law up, and hits a jawbreaker! Serpentico RAMS Law into the corner, tags Luther in, and Luther uses Serpentico as a weapon again for the human battering ram! Luther KNEES Law to the BUTTERFLY SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Luther argues the count but it was fair. Luther drags Law up, tags Serpentico, and Serpentico goes up. Luther scoop SLAMS Law, then ROCKET LAUNCHES Serpentico, only for him to FLOP as Law evades! Law gets up, dodges, hot tag to Alexander! Alexander rallies on Chaos Project, uppercuts Luther then back drops Serpentico! Luther swings but misses and Alexander dropkicks him out!

Serpentico rules over to mule kick and whip, but Alexander reverses. Serpentico wheelbarrows but Alexander makes it a half nelson SLAM! Cover, Luther dropkicks it apart! Luther gets out to tag back in, and he runs to DECK Law! Luther swings a heel kick but misses, Alexander fires off haymakers! Alexander whips, Luther reverses and BOOTS him down! Luther drags Alexander up, tags Serpentico back in, and Chaos Project combines for the CREEPING DEATH! Cover, Chaos Project wins!

Winners: Chaos Project, by pinfall

And Chaos Project is back up! Will they stay up and prove themselves a top 5 tag team in AEW?

Sonny Kiss w/ Joey Janela VS Angelico w/ Jack Evans!

The Bad Boy won on Elevation, now the Concrete Rose looks to keep pace! Will Kiss add to The Hybrid2’s woes by beating the South African Submission Specialist?

The bell rings and Kiss circles with Angelico as fans rally up. The two tie up, Angelico gets the arm and wrenches to a wristlock. Kiss rolls, handsprings and handsprings again to wrench and wristlock back! Kiss hammerlocks but Angelico reaches back to get up. Angelico slips through to hammerlock back, then headlock. Kiss endures but Angelico shifts to an arm and wrenches to another wristlock. Angelico kicks Kiss before he can handspring, but Kiss spins and wrenches the wristlock back onto Angelico. Angelico spins, shoots in, has a standing armbar, but Kiss trips him! Kiss wants a kneebar but Angelico gets the ropebreak!

Kiss lets off and fans cheer as Kiss shows Angelico his own technical prowess. Fans rally, the two circle again and they feel out the grapple. Angelico traps both of Kiss’ arms to then get a modified straitjacket clutch! Kiss endures, Angelico headlocks, but Kiss tries to power up. Angelico resists, Kiss shifts to a waistlock, but Angelico switches out. Angelico half nelsons and spins Kiss just to kick him low! Evans mocks Kiss’ pain but Janela tells him to shut up. Angelico whips, then follows, but Kiss arm-drags! Kiss spins through to split leg arm-drag! Kiss goes Matrix to avoid Angelico’s counter attack, and then reaches back to headscissor Angelico down! Fans fire up as Kiss kips up!

Angelico flounders, Evans checks on him but the ref tells him to get away. Kiss runs in, Angelico drop toeholds him into ropes! The ref reprimands and Angelico distracts him so Evans can get a cheap shot! Janela storms over and chases Evans off but the damage is done! Angelico stomps Kiss, drags him around and hooks up the leg to NAPALM DEATH! Kiss endures as Angelico twists one leg and pushes the other. Kiss fights free but Angelico STOMPS Kiss down! Fans boo as Angelico takes a second to check his jaw. Angelico drags Kiss up, but Kiss throws body shots! Kiss ROCKS him with a forearm, then handsprings, but Angelico blocks the heel kick to get a STANDING CRAB!?

Kiss endures, doing his best to stay up, but Angelico throws him down to PENALTY KICK him in the face! Cover, TWO! Angelico keeps cool, drags Kiss back up and wrenches to reel Kiss in. Back suplex but Kiss lands on his feet to RANA Angelico, then dropsault! Angelico goes to a corner, Kiss handsprings in to back body block and BULLDOG! Cover, TWO! Kiss is shocked but Janela and the fans rally up. Kiss fireman’s carries but Angelico fights free and shoves. Kiss ducks the boot to back kick and run, but Angelico trips up the springboard! Kiss does the splits but Angelico STOMPS the leg!

Angelico gets the legs hooked up, NAVARRO DEATH ROLL! And NAVARRO DOS MIL!! Kiss endures, clubs at Angelico, but Angelico stomps away! Kiss taps, Angelico wins!

Winner: Angelico, by submission

TH2 goes 1-1 in the Dark, as does Jersey’s Finest. Will Angelico & Evans move up while Janela & Kiss sink down in the rankings?

Max Caster speaks.

“This is Platinum Max Caster, one half of The Acclaimed, the best wrestler alive, but tonight I’m going up against Alex Reynolds of the Dark Order.” Caster wants to take Reynolds back in time, when Caster beat Preston “Number 10” Vance like that, as he snaps his fingers. Everyone says Vance is so big and strong, but Caster is the same size as him! Reynolds is dealing with a heavyweight, so Caster knows he’s scared. Caster knows Reynolds will have back-up from the Dark Order. If it’s Vance, Caster beat him. If it’s Alan Angels, EVERYONE beats him! Hangman Page? Caster could beat Hangman with one hand tied behind his back. And it’d be the good hand, his right.

Caster promises that Reynold’s “nice little face” and his nice little win-loss record is going up against Caster’s “impeccable” record. And y’know what? Caster will have extra help, too! Anthony Bowens is getting better and will be back in Caster’s corner. Caster is going to make a mark, and Reynolds will learn why everyone loves The Acclaimed. And that is a mic drop!

Six Man Tag: Evil Uno, Stu Grayson & Colt Cabana w/ The Dark Order VS Vary Morales, Bill Collier & D3!

Once again, the Dark Order OG and BOOM BOOM combine forces! Will they keep rolling against this new combination before them?

The trios sort out and Uno starts with D3 while Cabana does his best Negative One on the stage. Uno and D3 tie up, Uno puts the Prince of Rom in the corner, but the ref counts. Uno lets off, D3 shoves Uno but Uno CHOPS him off his feet! Uno watches D3 stagger up and they circle again. D3 and Uno feel out the grapple, knuckle lock and have a test of strength. Uno is of course the bigger, stronger man but D3 rolls to wrench the knuckles! D3 laughs but Uno trips him up! Uno pushes the shoulders down, ONE as D3 gets an arm up. Uno pushes it down, ONE as D3 bridges up. D3 gets his legs through to headscissor but Uno pushes that away to flip D3 and drag him up.

D3 uses that to get a headlock, but Uno powers out. D3 rams Uno but Uno rebounds to run him over! Uno brushes off a shoulder and runs but D3 hurdles, into an ATOMIC DROP! Cover, TWO! Uno stomps the hands, hooks the arm, La Magistrol! TWO, but D3 avoids the stomps! Uno shows chop, D3 guards, but Uno waits. D3 lets his guard down, and Uno pokes him in the eye! Fans cheer but the ref reprimands and Uno apologizes profusely. D3 staggers about blindly, Uno is forgiven and he brings D3 around. D3 dropkicks Uno to tag in Collier! Collier is a big man so Uno stays back a second. Fans rally up, Uno and Collier tie up! Collier headlocks, grinds Uno, but Uno powers out.

Collier runs Uno over! Cabana gets in to get in Collier’s face but Uno tags Stu. Stu has Cabana stand down, and now Stu gets in Collier’s face! Collier shoves Stu, Stu CHOPS him! Collier CHOPS back, Stu CHOPS, it’s a CHOP fight! Collier kicks low, throws a BIG haymaker, and then a BIG uppercut! Collier whips corner to corner, run sin but Stu boots him! Stu goes up, leaps, but the tornado DDT is blocked to a suplex! Collier holds Stu up for 5 then SLAMS him down! Collier brings Stu up to headbutt, and then whip to ropes. Stu reverses, Collier kicks but into a RANA! Stu runs, dodges, springboards and FLYING UPPERCUTS! Vary tags in and waistlocks but Stu elbows him!

Stu RAMS Vary into the Dark Order corner, tag to Cabana! Stu rolls Vary for Cabana but Cabana is a bit confused. Vary and Cabana tie up. Cabana hammerlocks but Vary throws elbows. Vary goes up but the flying mare stalls for a count of 5! Things speed up, Vary hurdles, Cabana cartwheels, Vary springboards to RANA! Cabana is dizzy, Vary runs in but his rana is turned into an Electric Chair SNAKE EYES! Tag to Uno, Uno suplexes Vary, then stands on his head. Tag to Stu for the running frog splash! Stu bumps Vary off buckles, tags Uno then Uno tags Cabana. Stu whips Uno in to body block Vary, then Uno feeds Vary to Cabana’s scoop and SLAM!

Cabana says he’s okay, and runs corner to corner. Vary dodges the Flying Apple to tag in Collier! Collier bumps Cabana off buckles, throws hands but Cabana throws them and CHOPS in return! Collier RAMS Cabana back into the corner, D3 tags in and runs but into DOUBLE CHOPS! Vary tags in, D3 kicks Cabana then whips Vary for a FLYING BRONCO BUSTER! Vary keeps moving but he runs into a FLYING APPLE! Cabana scowls as he hobbles and tags Stu. Vary tags Collier but Stu rallies on them both! Stu gives Vary an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Collier storms over but into kicks and CHOPS and a HAYMAKER! Stu hits a HUGE URENAGE!

Collier staggers up into the torture rack, but he fights free! Collier shoves Stu, Uno tags in and Stu kicks. Collier tries to suplex but Uno saves him. Stu suplexes Collier, Uno helps hold him up, then they hit the ASSISTED COMPLETE SHOT! Vary runs in, is popped up then tossed for a BOMB! D3 runs in. Stu dodges and Uno ROCKS him! Stu PELES D3, Uno tags Cabana, and the Dark Order combines for the assisted CHICAGO SKYLINE!! Cover, the Dark Order wins!

Winners: The Dark Order, by pinfall

A strong victory from a strong combination! Will Cabana, Uno and Stu become major players in the AEW rankings soon enough?

Jurassic Express VS Adam Priest & KC Navarro!

Jungle Boy won big on Elevation, now it’s up to Luchasaurus and Mark Stunt to keep things rolling! Will the wrestling dinosaur and Fun Size be strong against the boy from Battleground and the #TrulyBlessed?

The teams sort out and Stunt starts against KC. KC brags that usually he’s the “small guy” in a match, but against Stunt, he’s looking huge! Stunt stomps KC’s feet and KC drops to his knees! Stunt says HE’s the big guy now! KC shoves Stunt, Stunt runs and slide sunder to arm-drag KC, then he springboards to SPLASH! KC runs, Stunt dodges and ENZIGURIS! Priest tags in, Stunt tilit-o0w-hrils him for a headscissor! Stunt runs into the corner, Priest dodges but Stunt dodges, too! Stunt goes up for a flying elbow to Priest’s back! Cover, TWO! Priest steadies himself but Stunt is after him. Priest knees low, and TOSSES Stunt to the corner!

Tag to KC, he and Priest bring Stunt up for a double back suplex, but Stunt lands out of it! Tag to Luchasaurus and the BIGGEST man in the match is here. KC runs into a choke grip, as does Priest! DOUBLE CHOKE SLAMS!! Double covers, Jurassic Express wins!

Winners: Jurassic Express, by pinfall

Now THAT was big! Jungle Boy makes sure KC and Priest are still breathing, which they are. Will Jurassic Express be bigger than life as they head after the AEW Tag Team Championships and beyond?

Diamante VS Vipress!

Diamante called out Thunder Rosa on Elevation, and now looks to show what’s in store for the former NWA Women’s World Champion! Will Vipress wish someone else drew the Cuban Diamond?

The bell rings and Diamante talks some trash on Vipress. Vipress gives it back and they go forehead to forehead. Diamante throws elbows and forearms, but Vipress gives them back. Diamante knees low, whips but Vipress reverses and follows. Vipress gets under to NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Vipress smirks but Diamante talks more smack as they circle. Diamante gets around to club away but Vipress trips her up! Vipress stomps, then digs her boot into Diamante’s face! The ref counts, Vipress lets off and brings Diamante up to double whip. Diamante goes up, Vipress denies the headscissors but gets a MULE KICK for it!

Diamante SHOTGUNS Vipress to the other corner, then adds a basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Diamante is annoyed with Vipress but she still talks trash. Vipress throws Diamante out! Vipress takes her time following after, and kicks, only for Diamante to trip her up hard! Diamante drags Vipress back up to throw into railing! Diamante puts Vipress back in, covers, TWO! Diamante keeps focus as she pushes Vipress around then throws forearms. Fans rally up, Diamante runs to wheelbarrow but Vipress denies the next step. Diamante elbows, Vipress ducks one but not the COMEBACK DISCUS!

Diamante then throws short-arm lariats, and gets her for a straitjacket ARMBAR!! Vipress taps, Diamante wins!

Winner: Diamante, by submission

Diamante shows her versatility, will she use her entire arsenal to take Thunder Rosa down?

Six Man Tag: Team Taz VS Jake St. Patrick, Sage Scott & Chandler Hopkins!

Taz himself says everything is fine in the group, despite the (good) things Brian Cage has said about Sting. Will the Machine, Absolute and Powerhouse make their mark as a trio?

The trios sort out, Starks starts against JSP. JSP and Starks circle slowly, tie up, and JSP gets an arm. Starks fights but JSP wrenches to wristlock. Starks pulls hair to get a headlock and grinds JSP down. JSP spins out to then wrench and wristlock back. Starks throws a forearm to ROCK JSP, then he whips JSP to ropes. JSP dodges, RANAS, and dropkicks Starks to the ropes! JSP hurries to wrench, cording hold, and then gets Starks to the corner. Scott tags in., wrenches to an elbow breaker, but Starks again grabs hair. Starks brings Scott over and tags Hobbs, despite Cage reaching out. Hobbs mugs Scott, looms over him, and Starks claims he couldn’t see Cage’s hand.

Hobbs kicks Scott around, whips him hard into a corner, and then grins as he asks, “That hurt, huh?” Hobbs drags Scott up, whips him corner to corner the other way and just as hard! Hobbs scoops, holds Scott up with the one arm, and then RAMS him into buckles! Scott is put in the Tree of Woe, Hobbs taunts him then brings him up to CLUB him out of the Tree! Hobbs chuckles as Scott writhes. Hobbs drags Scott up, fans rally and Scott hits a jawbreaker! Hobbs keeps Scott away from his corner but the ENZIGURI frees him! Hot tag to Hopkins, who fires off with strikes! Hopkins runs but gets CLOBBERED by Hobbs! The Powerhouse is having fun as he looms over Hopkins.

Hopkins is understandably dizzy as Hobbs throws him out hard! Hobbs keeps the ref distracted, Hook gets his shots in! GUT WRENCH SUPLEX! Hook feeds Hopkins back in, Hobbs drags Hopkins to a cover, but JSP breaks it! That just angers Hobbs, and he TOSSES JSP out of the ring! Hobbs hauls Hopkins over, but Starks intercepts the tag! Even Hobbs is surprised by that, but Starks fire off on Hopkins. Starks reels Hopkins in, strikes his pose, and brings Hopkins up, but Cage tags in before the ROSHAMBEAUX! Starks didn’t know that, and the ref explains it! Cage brings Hopkins up to top this off with a DRILL CLAW!! Cover, Team Taz wins!

Winners: Team Taz, by pinfall

#WhoBetta? Well, while Hobbs might not see and and Taz himself denies it, there is something brewing between the Absolute and the Machine. Will Team Taz be torn apart over a simple difference of opinion?

Six Woman Tag: Big Swole, Red Velvet & Kilynn King VS Vertvixen, Ashley Vox & Delmi Exo!

Swole and Velvet made a winning combination before, so surely adding The King will only make it stronger! But will the Wrestling Gamer and the Sea Stars prove that otherwise?

The trios sort out, Vox starts against King. Vox and King circle, tie up, and King headlocks. King hits a headlock takeover but Vox headscissors. King kips free but Vox stays away. Tag to Exo, King tags to Swole. Swole and Exo circle as fans rally up for Swole. The two tie up, go around, and Swole spins Exo for a cravat to snapmare! And then a basement uppercut to the back! Swole has Exo on ropes, whips but Exo blocks. Swole ROCKS Exo, whips but Exo reverses, only for Swole to run her over! Swole keeps moving, things speed up but Swole turns the drop into a headlock! Exo fights up but Swole whips her to the corner!

Tag to Velvet, she and Swole double whip Exo for a trip up, but Exo fights through, only to get a calf kick! Cover, ONE! Velvet stays on Exo in a corner with body shots! Velvet throws more hands but Exo throws her to fire off forearms! Exo runs in but into a BOOT! Velvet runs to leap but into a catch, for a gut wrench and SLAM! Cover, Vox hits King and Swole, TWO! Velvet survives but Vert is there to throw King into railing! Swole runs Vert off but the Sea Stars isolate Velvet. Tag to Vox, Exo sets Velvet up for an uppercut! Tag back to Exo, and the Sea Stars double whip Velvet. Velvet ducks, tries to shove the sisters into each other, but Velvet switches to full nelson.

Exo runs in but Velvet dodges, Exo CLOBBERS Vox by accident! Velvet then dodges Exo to hot tag King! King spins Exo around to fire off forearms and CHOPS! King whips, Exo dodges and bails out to taunt King. Exo leads King on a chase, Vert is there to CLOBBER King! Vert shouts, “I told you it was over for you!” Exo puts King in and pushes her to a cover, ONE! King took on Aneki, Ryo Mizunami, this is nothing yet. Vert tags in to mug King and fire forearms! King gives them back, they brawl, and King kicks but so does Vert. They both dodge, DOUBLE ROUNDHOUSES take both women down! Fans fire up as both women crawl for their corners, hot tags to Swole and Vox!

Swole dodges Vox, DECKS Exo, then rallies on both Sea Stars with cross chops! Vox dodges the kicks but not the HEADBUTT! Swole runs at Exo, misses in the corner, but she turns Exo’s attack into an URENAGE! Swole sees Vox coming, gets out of the way and ROCKS her! Step-in CUTTER! Cover, TWO!! Vox survives but Swole keeps on her. Swole underhooks, Vert runs in to KNEE Sole down! King and Velvet get in, King DECKS Vert and Velvet brawls with Vox! Vox BOOTS Velvet down, Exo throws King away. The Sea Stars rally up and double DIVE! Down go King and Velvet! Vox fires up, she and Exo throw down hands, but Swole hits them back! It is chaos as Vert DIVES in and bowls them all over!!

Fans are fired up as Vert gets up and roars! Vert rallies her team, the Sea Stars put Swole in. The Sea Stars reel Swole in but Swole fires off forearms and CHOPS! Swole ROCKS Vox, kicks Exo and whips her to a corner. Swole whips Vox in to join her but Exo puts her on the corner. Exo gets Swole for an EXPLODER! Vox climbs up, coordinates with Exo, KNEE-BOARD SENTON onto knees! Swole saves her self, and tags in Velvet! Vert tags in, Velvet dodges her to SCREW HIGH KICK! Exo gets in but Velvet drop toeholds her to ropes! Velvet runs to DOUBLE KNEE Exo down! Vox runs in, King BOOTS her down!

Vert returns, Velvet bobs ‘n’ weaves then King ROUNDHOUSES her! Swole gives Vert some DIRTY DANCING, and Velvet hits the HEEL KICK! Cover off “The Chef’s Kiss,” Velvet and team win!!

Winners: Big Swole, Red Velvet & KiLynn King, by pinfall

Adding an extra ingredient DID make this combination stronger! They do a Big Swole, Stir It Up macarena, but then JADE CARGILL shows up! The Storm wants after Velvet and so does Velvet with the Storm! Referees, Swole and King keep these two apart, but it is only a matter of time! What happens when Jade and Velvet throw down 1v1?

Michael Nakazawa VS Mike Magnum!

Kenny Omega’s best friend, personal assistant and who knows what else, is doing this for himself! But will the Turkish Oil Master not be able to give #YourHero the slip?

Wait, Nakazawa’s changing up his name to be “MT Nakazawa,” and he isn’t even dressed in his tights! He’s in his khakis and polo! Does that mean he’s cleaning up his act? The bell rings and Nakazawa circles with Magnum. Nakazawa is getting notes from someone over his headset. Is it Omega? Callis? Nakazawa explains his match has started, he has to call them back. Nakazawa and Magnum circle, but then Nakazawa moves away to talk to whoever again. Magnum turns Nakazawa around to CHOP and CHOP! Nakazawa uses the purple nurple!! Nakazawa headlocks, Magnum powers out but Nakazawa dodges, until the THESZ PRESS!

Nakazawa powers it up to a sunset flip! TWO, and Magnum snapmares Nakazawa around, then cravat KNEE SMASHES! Cover, ONE!! Magnum grows annoyed, Nakazawa gets the headset and lanyard off, but Magnum climbs up. Nakazawa intercepts with a trip up! Magnum lands on his paintbrush, and Nakazawa gives him the HENTAI SLIDE! Nakazawa runs for a RUNNING ELBOW! cover, TWO! Nakazawa checks his headset, then uses the lanyard to CHOKE Magnum! The ref reprimands, Nakazawa lets go but they have to untangle the cords. The ref takes all the stuff off Nakazawa, and Magnum kicks low to SPIKE DDT!

Magnum has his paintbrush, wants to whip but Nakazawa holds ropes. Magnum kicks low, and again, then whips. Nakazawa reverses, Magnum goes up and over and then hits a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Nakazawa narrowly escapes and Magnum grows frustrated. Magnum stalks up behind Nakazawa, brings him up and fireman’s carries, but Nakazawa grabs ropes! The ref counts, Nakazawa lets go but slips off to grab at the ref. The ref is a shield, Nakazawa gets his laptop and SMACKS Magnum! Fans boo as Nakazawa hobbles and drags Magnum up to scoop and hits a… Uh, Tiger Driver 69? Cover, Nakazawa wins!

Winner: Michael Nakazawa, by pinfall

Kenny Omega’s assistant wins, will he prove himself worthy of both the Kenny Omega AND AEW Top 5 some day?

Miro & Kip Sabian w/ Penelope Ford VS Baron Black & John Skyler!

Team SuperBest prepares for Arcade Anarchy against the Kentucky Gentleman and Freshly Squeezed by taking on the EmpBRUH and the Southern Savior! But will this little bit of level grinding be enough to prepare for such a unique challenge on Dynamite?

The teams sort out and Miro gets in Baron’s face. Miro tells Baron to just back out now before it gets worse. Baron refuses so Miro fires off forearms! Miro throws Baron into railing, then more railing! Miro shouts this is a waste of his time, and he TOSSES Baron into the front row of wrestlers ringside! Miro then chases Skyler into th ering but Skyler hits back! The bell rings, Miro shoves Skyler but Skyler gets up to headbutt and uppercut! Skyler knees Miro, Miro CLOBBERS Skyler! Miro drags Skyler for elbow drops over and over! Miro drags Skyler up and ROCKS him with a forearm! Kip just takes a break to talk with Penelope while Miro ROCKS Skyler again.

Miro DECKS Skyler with that third shot! Fans boo but Miro soaks it up with a big smile on his face. Miro does a very Kurt Angle-esque spin around, but he runs into Skyler’s boot! Miro blocks the next boot, Skyler elbows him away and hops up for a FLYING UPPERCUT! Miro doesn’t fall so Skyler fires off forearms and CHOPS! Miro just gets mad and whips Skyler to the apron. Miro hauls Skyler up but Skyler hotshots Miro! Miro just frowns, but Skyler KICKS him away! Skyler springboards, dodges Miro, then goes up again. Miro yanks Skyler off for THE BEST SAIDO! Skyler staggers about, into THE BEST KICK!

Miro grins as he shouts, “Oh, Charles~!” He wants Chuck to watch as it is GAME OVER for Skyler! Stomp and yes, Game Over DEEP CAMEL CLUTCH!! Skyler taps, Miro and Kip win!

Winners: Miro & Kip Sabian, by submission

Okay, it’s just Miro who won this. And he makes Skyler suffer just a little longer to send a message to Chuck & Cassidy. Miro doesn’t like wasting time, and he vows not just to deal with Chuck & Cassidy quickly, but that he will rip out and eat their guts! Will Miro prove to be the final boss and end this game with the Best Friends?

Max Caster w/ Anthony Bowen VS Alex Reynolds w/ the Dark Order!

The 5 Tool Player is back, and that means The Acclaimed has truly arrived! And of course, Platinum Max has a diss on deck for Number 3! “Platinum Max, I’m fighting Alex Reynolds. He walk around like he a handsome devil. That fake ass wig, no, it didn’t fool me. He’s got more bald spots than QT! I’m bringing The Acclaimed to you. You weren’t my trainer but I’m ’bout to run a train on you! I beat your whole crew up, even Hangman. Your fake tan’s way faker than… Man I hate you! Don’t look at me like that!” Reynolds is getting on Caster’s nerves just from that, will he really get under Caster’s skin after the bell?

Speaking of, the bell rings and Reynolds circles with Caster. They tie up, are in a deadlock, but Caster pushes only for Reynolds to get a waistlock. Caster switches and throws Reynolds down by his hair! Fans boo, Caster taunts Reynolds but then hurries out to the apron as Reynolds storms over. Caster regroups with Bowens and Caster tells John Silver to stay back. Reynolds patiently waits and Caster gets back in. They circle, tie up, Reynolds wrenches an arm and wristlocks but Caster spins through to headlock. Reynolds powers out but Caster pulls hair! Caster wrenches but Reynolds returns the favor and uses hair to throw Caster down!

Caster gets bad but Reynolds fires counter punches and EuroUppers! Reynolds wrenches, whips but Caster reverses. Reynolds holds ropes, drop toeholds Caster into them, then goes out for the Drive-By Dropkick! Fans fire up as Reynolds climbs a corner to leap and CROSSBODY! Reynolds bounces off the cover and clutches his arm, Caster goes for it but Reynolds pushes him away. The ref checks with Reynolds, he says it’s alright, and he elbows Caster away to then run and run Caster over! Reynolds holds the bad arm, it is really bothering him. Caster hammerlocks that arm to RAM Reynolds into buckles! Caster goes after the arm to knee it in the elbow, then stomp it down!

Caster gets the arm, brings Reynolds up, CLUBS the bad arm, but Reynolds fires forearms! Caster ROCKS Reynolds, top wristlocks for the SLAM! Cover, TWO! Reynolds grits his teeth and clutches his arm but Caster stalks him to a corner. Reynolds DECKS Caster with a right! Reynolds brings Caster up but Caster gets a leg to a takedown and roll. Caster gets the bad arm to dig his knee into it. Caster hammerlocks the arm and adds a chinlock for a modified camel clutch. Fans rally, Reynolds fights up, and Reynolds throws body shots. Reynolds ROCKS Caster again, whips but Caster reverses. Reynolds holds ropes to kick back! Reynolds throws more big forearms, then CLOBBERS Caster!

Fans rally, Reynolds swings but Caster uses Reynolds’ hair for a HEADSHOT! Caster gets the arms for SHANKLY GATES! Reynolds endures the wristlock camel clutch and gets the ROPEBREAK! Fans fire up as Caster lets go at 4, then stands on Reynolds’ head. The ref counts again, Caster stops at 4, and then catches his breath as he drags Reynolds up. Fans rally, Caster turns Reynolds with his hair, and does it again. Caster keeps wrenching the hair but Reynolds throws body shots and haymakers! Reynolds fires off forearms but Caster wrings the bad arm! Reynolds rolls and BOOTS him away! Reynolds LARIATS, then whips but Caster reverses.

Caster misses, Reynolds goes side to side to elbow! Reynolds keeps going, LEAPING BACK ELBOW! And then a dropkick! Reynolds handsprings and fans fire up with him as Caster staggers up. Reynolds spins Caster to ROCK him, then CRAVAT PLEX! Cover, TWO! Caster survives and Reynolds grows frustrated. Reynolds drags Caster up, reels him in, and tries to fisherman but the bad arm makes that hard. Caster WRINGS Reynolds out this time to then STOMP the bad arm! Caster drags Reynolds back into Shankly Gates but Reynolds flips him to ghost pin! TWO!! Caster swings, Reynolds ducks to waistlock and O’Conner Roll, TWO!

Caster slips under the roll, blocks the school boy and sits on Reynolds, TWO! Reynolds sunsets, ONE, but Caster runs into a pop-up KNEE! Fans are thunderous as Reynolds hurries to cover, but Bowens helps Caster get the ropebreak! Silver storms over to back Bowens down, but Reynolds puts Caster in the drop zone. Reynolds climbs, MOONSAULTS, but FLOPS as Caster moves! Caster gets the 5 Tool Boombox and Bowens distracts the ref! Reynolds ducks the cheap shot, Silver takes the boombox away, but Caster sends Reynolds at Silver! The Beaver Boys avoid the collision, Bowens tosses Caster his chain! It ain’t brass, it’s a PLATINUM KNUCKLE!!

Reynolds is down, Caster goes up top, for the MIC DROP!! Cover, Caster wins!!

Winner: Max Caster, by pinfall

Silver chases Platinum Max off after all that cheating, but The Acclaimed are still going to the winner’s circle. Will Number 4 look to avenge Number 3? Or will he just end up part of a remix on tonight?

My Thoughts:

A very good episode that kept it to a manageable dozen matches and just over 90 minutes. Some of these matches felt like they should’ve been on Elevation given star power and competitive nature, but I guess they’d be gutting Dark that way. Keeping the balance between the two supplemental AEW shows is the key to keeping fans interested. That said, the Six Woman Tag, the Six Man with Team Taz, and the main event of Caster VS Reynolds were all really good stuff that helps with both story and building up the various midcards.

Vox & Exo, aka Sea Stars, would make a great addition to the unofficial AEW Women’s Tag Team Division. Those medals Diamante & Ivelisse have need to be traded in for belts and then those get defended on all sorts of AEW programming. The dysfunction in Team Taz was a good element to their match, but I do like that the only one who has a problem with Cage is Starks, as he was the only one refusing to let him into the match. If it comes down to less Cage VS Team Taz, more Cage VS Starks, winner stays in Team Taz, that’d be a much better take on this. AEW likes being unique, this would be how to do it. And put the FTW Championship on the line for a little extra.

Caster had a good promo on Reynolds and by extension the entire Dark Order. Caster mentioning Hangman hopefully leads to Caster VS Hangman, because I want to hear Caster’s rap promos on him. Caster VS Reynolds was very good, probably one of Reynolds’ best singles matches in AEW. If Bowens is back on the mend, I’m hoping we get The Acclaimed VS Beaver Boys at some point, too. That is an Elevation main event, maybe even a strong Dynamite opener right there.

My Score: 8.2/10

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Up Next

Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 3.30.2021

Don't Miss

Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/29/21)

AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Double or Nothing Results & Report! (5/28/23)

What’re the odds?

Published

42 mins ago

May 28, 2023

Steven Mitchell

Will the Devil of AEW pay for his sins in Sin City?

Double or Nothing raises the stakes on MJF by putting him in a Fatal 4 Way for the AEW World Championship! Will his reign of terror survive a weekend in Las Vegas?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

Buy-In – High Stakes Six Man Tag: Hook & The Hardy Boyz VS Ethan Page & The Gunns; win and
AEW International Blackjack Battle Royal: ??? wins and
AEW TNT Championship Ladder Match: Wardlow VS Christian Cage w/ Luchasaurus; wins and
AEW TBS Championship: Jade Cargill VS Taya Valkyrie; wins and
AEW Women’s World Championship: Jamie Hayter w/ Britt Baker & Hikaru Shida VS Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts; wins and
AEW World Tag Team Championships, Special Referee Mark Briscoe: FTR VS Team Triple J w/ Sonjay Dutt & Satnam Singh; wins and
AEW World Trios Championships Open House Rules Open Challenge: The House of Black VS ???; win(s) and
Anarchy in the Arena II: The Elite VS Blackpool Combat Club; win(s).
Unsanctioned Match, Special Enforcer Sabu: Adam Cole VS Chris Jericho; wins.
AEW World Championship Fatal 4 Way: MJF VS Sammy Guevara VS “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry VS Darby Allin; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage of Double or Nothing will begin later tonight]

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (5/26/23)

The Acclaimed are on a Rampage!

Published

2 days ago

May 26, 2023

Steven Mitchell

Get ready to scissor in Sin City!

Just days before Double or Nothing, AEW Rampage sees The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn continue in trios action! Will they be aiming for The House of Black soon enough?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

Six Man Tag: The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn VS La Faccion Ingobernable; The Acclaimed & Billy win.
Six Man Tag: Ethan Page & The Gunns VS ???; Ethan & The Gunns win.
Britt Baker & Hikaru Shida VS Nyla Rose & Marina Shafir; Britt & Shida win.
Best Friends VS Lee Moriarty & “Big Bill” Morrissey; Moriarty & Morrissey win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Six Man Tag: The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn VS La Faccion Ingobernable!

Max Caster, Anthony Bowens & Daddy Ass won the Tres de Mayo Trios Battle Royal over three weeks ago and are still building momentum in the Trios Division. But will they be able to bring down Rush, Dralistico & Preston Vance? Or will LFI make Sin City tranquilo?

But of course, Platinum Max has a diss track! “Acclaimed in the house, we the nicest ever. This is not a game, this is not Fight Forever. Rush, you’re losing your cred. How you gonna fight us with all your pubes on your head? Wait, is this guy from Tijuana, bro? He looks like the dominatrix at the donkey show! We’ll make your crew say adios. Acclaimed here to win this match mas rapido!” Bowens gets the mic to say, “LAAAAS VEGAAAAAS~! The Acclaimed have arrived! SCISSOR ME, DADDY ASS~!” And he does~! But will this be muy bien for The Acclaimed? Or muy malo?

The trios sort out and fans sing “OH~ Scissor Me, Daddy~!” Bowens starts against Dralistico and the two circle. Dralistico copies the conducting of the choir, and even offers the scissor finger. Bowens goes to accept but Dralistico kicks low! Dralistoco CHOPS, CHOPS and CHOPS! But Bowens turns things around to CHOP, CHOP and CHOP! Dralistico CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS, but Bowens CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Bowens whips, Dralistico goes up and over and then ducks ‘n’ dodges to RANA! Bowens comes back with a mule kick, front kick, and KOTARO KRUSHER! Fans fire up because “EVERYONE Loves The Acclaimed!”

But Dralistico gets away and tags in Perro Peligroso. Bowens tags in Caster, and The Dangerous Dog circles with Platinum Max. They tie up, Vance headlocks, and Caster powers up and out. Vance runs Caster over, mocks the scissors, then runs. Caster drops, hurdles, then arm-drags! Caster has Vance’s arm and thrusts with it! Then Caster clamps the armlock, but Vance fights up to ROCK him with a forearm! Vance whips, Caster ducks ‘n’ dodges, and leaps, but into Vance’s arms! Vance FALL AWAY SLAMS Caster towards his corner! Billy tags in and fans fire up! Billy is a big man, just like Vance.

Billy takes off the brand new “I ♥ 2 Scissor” shirt, and shows off the DADDY ABS! Billy raises the hands, calling for a test of strength. Vance goes to oblige, but then Billy tells him “SUCK IT!” Fans fire up but Vance CHOPS Billy! Vance tells Billy to “SUCK IT!” then runs, but into a scoop! Billy carries Vance around, to FALL AWAY SLAM! What Vance can do, Billy can do better! Billy scoops and SLAMS Vance, tags Bowens in, but then Rush rushes in to ROCK Billy! Dralistico attacks Bowens and Caster, the LFI turn things around as they throw out Billy and Bowens. Billy is sent into the steps! Bowens and Caster are sent into railing!

Fans rally for The Acclaimed but the LFI all stomp away on Caster in the ring. The LFI mock the scissors, and then just flip off Caster before raising the LFI fists. Fans boo while Rampage goes picture in picture.

The LFI mug Caster more, then Rush CHOPS him in a corner. Dralistico CHOPS Caster, and then Vance stands Caster back up to CHOP him, too! LFI double whip Caster corner to corner, Dralistico runs in to SPLASH, and then Vance runs in to clothesline! Rush powers up, runs, and jumps just to BOOT Caster! Rush rolls back to tranquilo while the rest of LFI raise the fists. Fans rally for The Acclaimed while Vance bumps Caster off buckles. Vance then runs to BOOT Bowens! Rush drags Caster out, throws body shots, and then he and Dralistico put Caster back in for Vance. Vance then sends Caster back out to them, to send into railing!

Fans boo, the ref reprimands, but then LFI brawls with The Acclaimed on the outside! Rampage returns to single picture as fans chant “REF YOU SUCK!” Billy is sent into railing, and Dralistico dumps Bowens over into the front row! Vance keeps on Caster while Dralistico HEADBUTTS Bowens while he’s sitting on a fan’s lap! The fans help Bowens get up, Vance drags Caster up and tags in Dralistico. Dralistico CHOPS, then throws forearm after forearm. Dralistico goes side to side for a SUPERKICK! Dralistico lounges up top and the fans boo. Dralistico drags Caster up to whip but Caster blocks!

Dralistico CHOPS Caster, has him in an open corner, and he whips Caster corner to corner again. Caster dodges the splash! Dralistico rushes back after Caster, Caster dodges, and they DOUBLE LARIAT! Both men are down, they crawl for their teams, hot tags to Vance and Billy! Daddy Ass rallies on LFI! He SPLASHES Vance in a corner, brings him out, kicks low and, well, “SUCK IT!” FAMOUSER!! Cover, but Jose helps with the ropebreak! Fans boo, they know the truth! Jose mocks the scissor fingers while celebrating his antics. But Caster tosses Jose in! Billy drags Jose up while Caster RAMS Dralistico into railing!

Bowens RAMS Rush into railing on the other side, then goes to the corner. Billy scoop SLAMS Jose into position! Bowens is up top, SCISSOR ME TIMBERS! Jose flounders out of the ring, and the fans fire up as The Acclaimed- NO, Rush & Dralistico drag Caster & Bowens out of the ring! Billy swings on Vance but he dodges, to DISCUS LARIAT!! Cover, Caster breaks it! Caster says Billy but Rush CLOBBERS Caster! Billy is in the corner, Rush stomps him! Fans boo, but El Toro Blanco says “When you mess with the bull,” only to turn around into Bowens’ Five Tool Strike Fest! SUPERKICK!!

Rush bails out, but Dralistico springboards in, FLYING CODE BREAKER! Dralistico drags Bowens up, but Bowens wrenches and clinches, THE ARRIVAL! Caster hurries, he tags in off Billy and climbs up! MIC DROP!! Cover, The Acclaimed win!!

Winners: The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn, by pinfall

A fast ‘n’ furious battle, and Daddy Ass and his boys make it through! Bowens gets the mic to say, “How we doin’ tonight, Vegas?” Fans cheer, they’re doing great! “The Acclaimed & Daddy Ass, we feel the exact same way, because we’ve been running through this Trios Division all month long! And seeing as though we are in Vegas, I think we should do some gambling. What do you say?” Bowens says that if Vegas is gonna gamble, maybe Sunday night, remember this: The House always wins, but never bet on Black! Because EVERYONE LOVES THE ACCLAIMED! Bowens, Caster & Billy call out Malakai, Brody & Buddy, will the scissors cut down the House of Black?

Six Man Tag: Ethan Page & The Gunns VS ???

From one trios match to another, All Ego & The Ass Boys are taking on The Hardy Party at Double or Nothing, with Ethan’s contract on the line! Will Ethan, Austin & Colten be rolling into Sunday to exact revenge on Matt & Jeff?

The trios sort out, Austin starts against ??? and the two circle. Ethan & Colten distract ???, and Austin CLOBBERS him! Austin swaggers, then tags in Colten. Colten drags ??? up, puts him in the corner and stomps away on him! The ref counts, Colten lets off to tell her to shut up! Tag to Austin, Austin stomps a mudhole now, but the ref counts again. Austin lets off and shouts, then tags Colten back in. The Gunns whip, body shot, knee lift, and then LARIAT! Fans boo but the Gunns soak it up. Colten says if Ethan wants some, here he goes. Tag to Ethan and he soaks up the heat while trotting around ???

Ethan stomps ??? then brings him up, only to get a JAWBREAKER! Hot tag to 222! The Gunns jump in but Austin misses, Colten gets a BOOT, and then Austin gets a haymaker! 222 throws more heavy hands, but then Ethan BOOTS him down! Fans boo as Ethan looms over 222 and shouts, “Are you kidding me?” The Gunns take care of ??? and 333 by throwing them into the railing! Ethan puts 222 up, crosses the arms, ICONOCLASM! And then he and the Gunns get 222 up, feed to the 3:10 TO YUMA!! Cover, Ethan & The Gunns win!

Winners: Ethan Page & The Gunns, by pinfall

Ethan isn’t done, either, he wants a mic! A mic is given, and Ethan says he wants to talk to the “bozos” in Vegas. “Shut up, you basic ass civilians.” Ethan doesn’t care if anyone here was watching, he wants The Hardy Boyz to have been watching. Because if so, they just saw what a REAL three man crew, a REAL trio, can do! A REAL team! And on Sunday, guess we won’t find out what the Hardy Party can do because these three took out Kassidy! FOR GOOD! So it is clearly going to be 3v2 now. But wait, here come the Hardy Boys! Fans fire up as Matt & Jeff are on stage, and Jeff has a mic of his own!

Jeff says, “The Ass Boys are looking good out here on Rampage with a boost of ego. This Sunday, the Egos will be DELETED, compliments of us.” Matt tells Ethan that his contract and his ass will belong to Matt now! If they have to fight 3v2, they’re not afraid to. Because to them, fear is only a four letter word. Wait, Kassidy is here with a neck brace? Ethan mocks them to come on down, and Austin mocks the moaning and squealing. Kassidy says unfortunately, the doctor did not clear him to compete. However… He found a replacement. It’s HOOK!! The Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil did help Hardy Party in the Firm Deletion, so he has returned to help them again!

Fans fire up as Hook follows the Hardy Boys to the ring, and that sends Ethan & The Gunns running! Will the remnants of The Firm be torn down once and for all now that Kassidy has #SentHook?

Backstage interview with Naturally Limitless.

Lexi Nair is with Keith Lee & Dustin Rhodes, and we all know things have been heating up between them and the now Mogul Embassy. It has just been announced that Swerve Strickland and Brian Cage are both in the Blackjack Battle Royal, as are they. What does that mean for them? Imagine that, huh? Swerve and Cage in a battle royal. So after Keith & Dustin eliminate them, because this is all for the International Championship, then Keith & Dustin can just eliminate everyone else and then make a decision on who wins it all. Dustin is confident he and Keith can come to an agreement.

But Swerve and Cage, you know it’s heated. You know it’s coming. Be ready. Keith adds that if the Embassy is in this, then he can’t wait! Keith heads out, and Dustin hopes Swerve saw that. Will nothing stop Keith & Dustin settling things with Swerve’s House this Sunday?

Britt Baker & Hikaru Shida VS Nyla Rose & Marina Shafir!

While The Doctor & The Full Metal Warrior couldn’t put away the Outcasts, they are sticking together in this ongoing battle of AEW Homegrowns and everyone else. Will these former AEW Women’s World Champions prove they are still a formidable team? Or will the Vicious Vixens be a major problem for them?

The teams sort out, Shida starts against Nyla as no strangers to each other. They circle, and then Nyla kicks low and CLUBS Shida on the back! Nyla bumps Shida off buckles, then tags in Marina. The Vixens double whip, but Shida ducks the double ax handles to shove Marina into Nyla, and then shove them both into a corner! Shida runs corner to corner to KNEE them both down! Shida then snap suplexes Marina onto Nyla! Fans fire up with Shida and she points to Britt. Fans fire up as Shida tags in Britt! Britt fires off on Marina, but Marina shoves her back. Britt dodges, comes back, SLINGBLADE! Cover, TWO!

Britt keeps on Marina with hammering elbows, then she wraps on a chinlock. Britt brings Marina up but Marina blocks the suplex. Britt powers up and still suplexes Marina up and over! Cover, TWO! Britt brings Marin up, ROCKS her, and then whips her to ropes. Marina reverses to CHOP and BOOT Britt down! Marina scowls, storms up on Britt, and tags in Nyla. The Vixens mug Britt in the corner, and Nyla CHOKES Britt on the ropes! Nyla laughs right into the corner camera before she lets go at 4. Fans boo as Nyla stands on Britt and Rampage goes picture in picture.

Nyla lets off as the ref counts, and then Nyla drags Britt up. Nyla scoops Britt to SLAM her down, then she soaks up the heat. Nyla stomps Britt, drags her up, and scoops to SLAM her again! Nyla mocks the “D! M! D!” and then stalks Britt to scoop her again. Britt slips off, but Nyla choke grips her for a CHOKE SLAM! Cover, TWO! Marina and Shida shout at each other, and Nyla brings Britt up to CLUB her on the back. Nyla bumps Britt off buckles, tags Marina, and Marina fires off body shots! Marina kicks Britt’s legs out, then tags Nyla back in. The Vixens drag Britt up to whip her hard into the corner!

Marina whips Nyla in to SPLASH! And then Nyla feeds Britt to Marina’s BOOT! Marina taunts Shida, clamps onto Britt with an armlock, and she grinds Britt down. Britt endures, reaches out, throws slapping hands on Marina, but then Marina whips Britt back into the corner! Nyla tags back in, the Vixens mug Britt more, and Nyla RAMS Britt in the corner! And again! And again! Nyla sits Britt down, digs her boot in, and mockingly counts along with the ref before letting off at 4. Nyla snapmares, clamps claws onto Britt’s shoulders, and Rampage goes to break.

Rampage returns and the Vixens double whip Britt into their corner again! Marina sends Nyla in but Britt avoids the splash! Marina hurries after Britt, misses, and she stubs a toe on the ropes! Gotta be careful going barefoot! Hot tag to Shida! Shida dodges Marina, ENZIGURIS her down, then rolls to SHOTEI Nyla! Marina throws a forearm, but Shida throws a flurry in return! Fans fire up with Shida as she just hammers away on Marina! Marina staggers around, swings, but Shida DECKS her! Shida puts Marina in a corner, climbs up, and Shida rains down more fists! The fans count along and Shida gets all the way to TEN!

Shida roars, brings Marina out with a kick, and then adjusts up top to MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Shida tags Britt then runs to ROCK Nyla! Britt brings Marina up, TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! Cover, but Nyla scoop SLAMS Shida onto it! Nyla is mad and she hoists Britt up. Nyla hangs Britt out to dry, then goes to the corner! Nyla climbs, aims, but Shida saves her from the knee! Nyla runs back in, but Shida & Britt dump her out hard! And then a METEORA to the floor wipes the Native Beast out! Britt has a glove, she spells it out, “D! M! D!” But Marina CHOPS, KICKS and KICKS! But Britt dodges to SUPERKICK!

Britt hurries to ripcord and- NO, Marina gets around to ripcord and SAYANAGI! Cover, TWO into a ghost pin! TWO into the RINGS OF SATURN! Shida is in, KATANA puts Marina into the LOCK JAW!! Marina is OUT, the ref calls it! Britt & Shida win!

Winners: Britt Baker & Hikaru Shida, by submission

A hard fought victory for the Doctor and the Warrior! But wait, The Outcasts are on the tron! And they’re all shaking their heads but smirking as they stand over JAMIE HAYTER! They went after her backstage! Shida & Britt hurry to the back but the damage has been done! Will Hayter be able to defend the AEW Women’s World Championship after this?

Mark Henry welcomes us back to Rampage.

“Tonight, ahead of the Blackjack Battle Royal, Lee Moriarty & Big Bill take on Best Friends. Let’s see which team comes out on top. Well, it looks like there’s been enough talk. It’s TIME for the main event!” Will Trent Beretta & Chuck Taylor have the hot hand going into the International Championship match? Or will #TAIGASTYLE and the human skyscraper make bust them already?

Best Friends VS Lee Moriarty & “Big Bill” Morrissey!

As Best Friends make their entrance, we see their best amigos, Bandido, Komander and even The Lucha Brothers all watching from the front row. They’re all going to be in the battle royal, too, and well, look at that. It would seem The Superbad Squad and the Varsity Athletes had the same idea. They’re all together in one section watching this in person, too.

Anyway, the teams sort out and Moriarty starts against Chuck. They circle, Chuck does some drop steps, and then the two tie up. Chuck waistlocks, wrenches an arm, then wristlocks. Moriarty works on the escape, but Chuck cranks the wrist. Moriarty stomps a leg, rolls and kips up to then arm-drag free. Chuck backs off and Moriarty does his dance. Fans boo but Bill cheers. Trent tags in and he circles with Moriarty. They tie up, Moriarty gets around to a waistlock but Trent switches. Moriarty switches back, Trent switches again, but Moriarty elbows free and hits a headlock takeover.

Trent headscissors, Moriarty kips free and hits another headlock takeover. Trent headscissors again, Moriarty kips free again, and fans cheer the standoff. Moriarty does his dance and fans boo again. Moriarty claps at Trent, but Trent offers a handshake. Moriarty accepts, but he sees the cheap shot coming! Trent laughs it off, but Moriarty rakes the eyes! Moriarty CHOPS Trent to ropes, whips him, but Trent reverses. Chuck hits Moriarty, but Moriarty DECKS him! But then Trent CLOBBERS Moriarty! Fans fire up with Trent and he brings Moriarty up. Trent CHOPS Moriarty down, then tags Chuck.

Best Friends double whip Moriarty to a corner, then Trent sends Chuck in to clothesline! Trent runs in to ELBOW! Trent brings Moriarty out, Best Friends double suplex! They both flex on Morrissey, then SLAM Moriarty down! Fans cheer but Big Bill runs in! He breaks the double clothesline to DOUBLE LARIAT the Best Friends! Bill clotheslines Chuck out, then he whips Trent corner to corner hard! Trent tumbles up and out and Bill paces. Best Friends are down while Rampage goes picture in picture.

Bill goes out to stomp Trent around, then stalks Trent. Bill rains down fists on Trent, but Chuck is after Moriarty! Chuck whips but Moriarty reverses to send Chuck into railing! Bill drags Trent up, ROCKS him, and Moriarty puts Chuck in the ring. Moriarty drags Chuck up, UPPERCUTS him, and then CHOKES him on the ropes! The ref counts, Moriarty lets off, and he distracts the ref so Bill can BOOT Chuck down! Moriarty covers, TWO! Moriarty drags Chuck up, the Varsity Athletes and Superbad Squad aren’t impressed with any of this, but Bill tags in. Bill throws body shots, the Lucha Brothers cheer Chuck on.

Bill digs his boot in, but steps off as the ref counts, and Moriarty CHOKES Chuck now! Trent protests but Moriarty scurries away. Bill soaks up the heat from Vegas, then he DECKS Chuck! Bill drags Chuck up, ROCKS him again, then tags in Moriarty. They mug Chuck, stomp away on him, and the ref counts. Moriarty lets off and roars, then goes back to Chuck. Moriarty drags Chuck up to wrench an arm into an ELBOW BREAKER! Moriarty snapmares Chuck, wraps him up, but Chuck fights the straitjacket. Moriarty turns Chuck over and hammerlocks an arm, to then SNAP LOCK it!

Chuck endures, even as Moriarty bridges over! Moriarty then goes back around to SNAP LOCK the arm again! Chuck endures, Moriarty bridges again, and then SNAP LOCKS a third time! Chuck manages to sit up, he throws some elbows, and he gets free! Only for Moriarty to DECK Trent with a cheap shot! Moriarty CLUBS Chuck, brings him around and tosses him out! The ref is distracted with Moriarty and Bill goes over to run at Chuck. But Chuck dodges, and the big boot from Big Bill gets stuck on the railing! That’s not good for Little Willie! Rampage returns to single picture and Moriarty rushes out! Chuck dodges and slides in, to hot tag Trent!

Fans fire up as Trent gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX Moriarty! And then GERMAN SUPLEX again! And HALF ‘N’ HALF SUPLEX! Fans fire up while Moriarty flops out of the ring. Trent builds speed to DIVE, but into Big Bill’s big hands! APRON CHOKE SLAM!! The Lucha Amigos all wince from that and Trent flops to the floor. Bill drags Trent up, puts him in the ring, and then he tags in. Bill runs in at Trent, but Trent dodges the splash! Bill hits buckles and maybe even post! Trent half nelsons but Bill elbows free, only to get a SEXY CHUCKIE KNEE! Trent then reels Bill back in, SOLE FOOD HALF ‘N’ HALF!!

Fans fire up with Best Friends, and Best Friends HUG! You GOT to give the people what they want! Trent then drags Bill up while Chuck climbs the corner. But Moriarty CLUBS Chuck down off the corner! Bill turns Alabama Lift into Canadian Rack, but Trent slips free! Trent runs, but into the BIG BOSS MAN SLAM!! Fans fire up from that feat of strength, and Bill tags Moriarty. They haul Trent up, Bill full nelsons and Moriarty gets the legs, NARAKU!! Cover off the full nelson swinging bomb, but Chuck breaks it!! Fans fire up as Best Friends survive! Moriarty drags Chuck up to TOSS him! Tag to Bill and they go back to Trent.

Moriarty wants Bill to go to the corner and Bill climbs up. Moriarty brings Trent up, but Chuck anchors Bill! Trent sends Moriarty into Little Willie! Moriarty flops out of the ring, and Best Friends fire off hands on Bill! They adjust Bill’s position up there, then climb up after him! DOUBLE SUPERPLEX!! Trent crawls to the cover, TWO!!! Bill survives and the Varsity Athletes are amused. The Lucha Amigos rally for Trent & Chuck as Chuck reels Bill in. But Moriarty slides in to claw Chuck’s eyes! The ref reprimands but Trent whips Moriarty. Moriarty reverses to send Trent out and then BOOT him down!

But Chuck kicks Moriarty and reels him in! AWFUL WAFFLE!! But Bill BOOTS Chuck!! Bill choke grips, and SKYSCRAPER CHOKE SLAMS him!! Cover, Bill & Moriarty win!

Winners: Lee Moriarty & “Big Bill” Morrissey, by pinfall

Moriarty & Morrissey stand tall, but this was in tag team action. The battle royal is every man for himself, will it come down to these two at the end? Wait, they go up to the Lucha Amigos to talk some trash, and Bandido gives thumbs down right to their faces. Bill shoves Bandido, so Bandido throws a forearm! Moriarty goes after Bandido, the Lucha Brothers go after Moriarty and Bill! And then Butcher, Blade, Kip, and the Varsity Athletes join in! People are sent into railing, and the Varsity Athletes mug Trent in the ring! Sterling tells them to keep going, but here comes ORANGE CASSIDY himself!

The Freshly Squeezed International Champion is here, he runs the Varsity Athletes off swinging his backpack, but the other entrants are still brawling it out on the outside! Cassidy shows off the prize, but here comes THE MACHINE! Brian Cage storms his way down to the ring, but here comes KEITH LEE! He and Dustin Rhodes storm their way down to the ring, and they add a lot of beef to the brawl! Naturally Limitless mugs Cage, the Varsity Athletes still mug Trent, and Cassidy just looks around at the chaos. But then “Whose House? SWERVE’S HOUSE!” Swerve is here in person, but he doesn’t seem in any rush to save Cage.

Keith eyes Swerve from the ramp, but Dustin still throws hands on Cage. Keith storms up after Swerve, but Swerve laughs and dares him to follow backstage. Cage turns things around on Dustin, all the other teams keep beating on each other! If this is how it is to close Rampage, how much wilder will it get when the title is on the line?

My Thoughts:

A really good Rampage for the go-home of Double or Nothing, and obviously since we didn’t see the traditional pre-battle-royal brawl on Dynamite, of course we saw it here to close the show. The main event tag match was great stuff, and what a great surprise that Best Friends didn’t win! The go-home math now says Moriarty & Morrissey aren’t winning, though I would love if one of them did have a belt. Honestly, they’re trying to make it seem like Cassidy is going to retain the title, since almost everyone else in the battle royal either A) has a feud going already or B) just isn’t at midcard champion level yet.

For example, Swerve & Cage VS Keith & Dustin. We should’ve had some kind of blowoff way sooner than this, maybe on a themed Dynamite and in a No Disqualification style match. Same thing for Ricky Starks, Jay White and Juice Robinson being in this match. But that problem goes all the way back to how AEW handled Starks VS Jericho and the Jericho Appreciation Society. In the end, if anyone new is winning this belt, I would actually want it to be Komander. Komander is still with AAA, so I would love to see him do a tour of Mexico with the title the same way Pac toured the UK with it to establish that first reign.

Decent squash match from Ethan & Gunns beating those jobbers we never even got the names of, and great promo with Hardy Party to establish a new take on the Six Man Tag. Hook joining is a natural choice given he helped the Hardys against The Firm before, but something about this feels like the same backwards pacing as we’ve seen with Starks. The Hardys should’ve turned the contract control tables on Ethan way before The Firm Deletion, with The Firm Deletion being the blowoff that sends the Hardys and Ethan in different directions. Hook & Hardys will definitely win, and we will get who knows how many months of shenanigans where Matt orders Ethan around.

Really good women’s tag match with Britt & Shida winning, even though there’s nothing to win for women’s tag teams in AEW anymore/right now. But of course The Outcasts attack Hayter 3v1 to put her on the defensive. This go-home math would mean Hayter overcomes the odds because she has Britt & Shida helping against Saraya & Ruby. Personally, I’m hoping Taya Valkyrie beats Jade Cargill for the TBS Championship, so that Jade can then jump up to the world title scene and really just tear into all six ladies. What bigger way to lead into AEW Collision, AEW All In and AEW All Out this Summer than with Jade finally being more than the midcard champion?

And great stuff at the beginning with The Acclaimed VS LFI. I just knew Acclaimed would find a way to win and then call out The House of Black. Apparently House of Black issued an open challenge for Double or Nothing, so The Acclaimed has answered it already. I am curious to know what stipulation The Acclaimed will bring to the Open House, but I really can’t be sure who wins. The House of Black have made the Trios Championships unique from the other titles, and have a growing popularity with the fans, but The Acclaimed are also really popular. This is like how AEW booked themselves into a corner with Hobbs VS Wardlow, and look where that’s gotten Hobbs.