It’s a bonus Dark before AEW Revolution!
AEW Revolution is coming, but there is still some Dark to get through! Will the Murderhawk Monster be rolling into that Face of the Revolution Ladder match?
- The Natural Nightmares VS Cezar Bononi & Peter Avalon; The Natural Nightmares win.
- Chuck Taylor w/ Orange Cassidy VS JD Drake; Chuck wins.
- Penta El Zero M VS Azriel; Penta wins.
- Lance Archer w/ Jake the Snake VS John Skyler; Archer wins.
- Ricky Starks & Brian Cage w/ Hook VS Angel Fashion & Fuego del Sol; Starks & Cage win.
- Jack Evans w/ Angelico VS Jake St. Patrick; Evans wins.
- The Gunn Club VS M’Badu & D3; wins.
- Thunder Rosa VS Tesha Price; Rosa wins.
- Bear Country VS Ryzin & Cameron Stewart; Bear Country wins.
- Preston Vance & Alan Angels w/ The Dark Order VS LaBron Kozone & Vary Morales; Vance & Angles win.
- Tay Conti VS Leila Grey; Conti wins.
- The Sydal Brothers VS Chaos Project; The Sydal Brothers win.
PLAY BY PLAY
The Natural Nightmares VS Cezar Bononi & Peter Avalon!
Dustin Rhodes & QT Marshall are ready for the Casino Tag Battle Royal, but so are the Brazilian V8 and “Pretty” Peter! Who builds some momentum before running into the Revolution?
The teams sort out, Bononi starts with Dustin, and they circle. Fans rally for Dustin but PPA tells them to shut up. Bononi and Dustin tie up and Bononi shoves Dustin to a corner. Dustin comes back to headlock but Bononi powers out. Dustin rams Bononi but Bononi stays up and shakes his head. Dustin runs again, he dodges Bononi’s clothesline to ROCK him with an uppercut! Dustin wrenches and puts Bononi in the corner, QT tags in and Dustin whips QT in to forearm smash! QT feeds Bononi to Dustin’s POWERSLAM! Fans fire up as QT ROCKS Bononi, whips him, but Bononi reverses. QT holds ropes, BOOTS Bononi, but Avalon gets a cheap shot in!
Bononi then stomps away on QT at the ropes! Tag to Avalon, they mug QT, and Avalon CHOPS! Avalon clubs QT to the other corner, wrenches and whips him corner to corner, and QT bounces off buckles. Avalon stomps QT but fans rally up. Bononi tags in, they mug QT again, but QT hits back! Bononi knees low and throws hard back elbows! Bononi dares QT to reach for Dustin, but QT throws body shots. Bononi throws elbows but QT handsprings for a NEURALIZER! Bononi staggers and Avalon tags in to drag QT from Dustin. QT boots Avalon away and hot tags to Dustin! Dustin dodges Avalon and rallies with clotheslines! Dustin whips and back drops Avalon!
Bononi gets in to kick low, then he whips Dustin. Dustin stops and uppercuts Bononi! Dustin CLOBBERS Bononi, and gets Avalon with a POWERSLAM! Dustin drags Avalon up but Bononi clubs him! QT gets in to ROCK Bononi with haymakers! Bononi knees low, throws QT out, but Dustin clotheslines Bononi out! Dustin dodges Avalon to hit a BULLDOG! Cover, Dustin & QT win!
Winners: The Natural Nightmares, by pinfall
The Natural is fired up because he and the Gift are ready for the Casino Tag Battle Royal! But will they win it and become contenders?
Chuck Taylor w/ Orange Cassidy VS JD Drake!
The Kentucky Gentleman and Freshly Squeezed will be in for a fight with the Superbad and Best Man! But first, can Chuck get through a scrap with Scrap Metal?
The bell rings, Chuck and JD circle and tie up, and JD puts Chuck on the ropes. The ref calls for the break, JD goes to chop but Chuck dodges! Chuck and JD reset, tie up, and Chuck waistlocks. JD pries free to a keylock but Chuck goes to hook a leg. JD blocks that but Chuck wrenches through and gets a headlock. JD powers out and throws Chuck to a corner, then runs in. Chuck dodges, hits an arm-drag and grinds JD down. JD fights up, fans rally, and JD pulls air to whip Chuck away. Chuck comes back and JD runs him over! Things speed up, Chuck hurdles over and arm-drags JD again! JD gets up but Chuck dropkicks him out! JD is frustrated, but Chuck goes out to pursue.
Chuck goes around the way, but JD pops him up against ropes to DECK him! JD takes a moment while the ref and Cassidy check on Chuck. JD then drags Chuck up to bump him off buckles and ROCK him with a right! JD puts Chuck in, and drops a senton! Cover, TWO! JD stomps Chuck to ropes, chokes him against the ropes, but lets off as the ref counts 3. JD brings Chuck up to CHOP him, then stalks him as he crawls. JD stomps Chuck’s fingers, throws haymakers then whips, and clotheslines to a falling headbutt! Cover, TWO! JD drags Chuck into a chinlock and digs his knee in. Cassidy rallies the fans and Chuck fights back with body shots.
Fans rally, JD shoves Chuck and atomic drops to a SHOTGUN BOOT! Cover, TWO! JD gets annoyed, drags Chuck up and CHOPS him! Chuck grits his teeth and CHOPS back! And CHOPS again! JD fires up but Chuck ducks to CHOP again! Chuck whips, JD reverses but Chuck reverses back to feed him SOLE FOOD! Chuck runs and BOOTS JD down! Fans fire up, Chuck drags JD up and whips but JD goes up and over. JD runs in but into a Sexy Chuckie Knee! Chuck gets JD for an URENAGE! Chuck double guns, Cassidy kinda double guns, and Chuck goes up top to MOONSAULT! JD moves and elbows Chuck away!
JD hops up top and leaps for a FLYING LEG LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Chuck lives but JD is right on him with a POINT-BLANK LARIAT! Cover, TWO! JD grows frustrated but fans fire up. JD goes to the corner, gives a thumbs down and climbs up. Chuck shoves him down onto his scrap metal! Chuck drags JD back for a SUPER AWFUL WAFFLE!! Cover, Chuck wins!
Winner: Chuck Taylor, by pinfall
That was a big win for the Kentucky Gentleman! But then Penelope Ford struts out on stage? And KIP SABIAN attacks from outta nowhere! Chuck goes after Kip but Miro grabs Chuck for a cobra clutch! Miro thrashes Chuck while Kip chokes Cassidy! Chuck fades out and Miro throws him down! Fans boo but Miro gets a mic. “Wake up, Charles! You’re not done.” He splashes water all over Chuck, and Miro tells him today is a day to learn. Chuck should’ve come talk to Miro like a man, but he ran to the office like a little boy! Chuck could’ve been something but now he’s just wasting their time!
Miro is better than Chuck and Cassidy, he should be AEW World Champion, but they’re taking up his precious time! Miro doesn’t need to be answering notes to make matches! So for that, Chuck is going to see his little friend get what Chuck will get at Revolution! Kip drags Cassidy up, Miro gives the shin kicks, then a BEST KICK! Cassidy is in a daze as he’s down on the stage! Miro tells Chuck will get twice as bad on Sunday! Will Miro & Kip break the Best Friends for good?
Penta El Zero M VS Azriel!
The third point of the Death Triangle is back! And though he’ll surely want revenge on Kenny Omega and his Biz Cliz, he’s going into the Face of the Revolution Ladder match! Will Cero Miedo strike fear into everyone with his Dark return?
The bell rings and Penta circles with Azriel. They tie up, Penta shoves Azriel, and then gets him to a half nelson, spin, hammerlock and a trip. Penta rolls Azriel but Azriel kips up to arm-drag Penta! Penta arm-drags back, then runs. Azriel bypasses but Penta CLUBS him and CHOPS him! Penta swaggers over, CHOPS Azriel in the corner, then whips him to ropes. Penta SPINEBUSTERS, but Azriel headscissors and swings to throw Penta away! Things speed up, Azriel rolls back but into a PENALTY KICK! Penta and fans fire up, and Penta swaggers as he stalks Azriel to a corner. Penta KICKS out a leg! Azriel clutches the knee, but Penta drags him up to put him against ropes.
Penta lets off to CHOP Azriel down! Penta drags Azriel up, whips him but Azriel dodges and RANAS! Azriel arm-drags again, and dropkicks Penta to a corner! Azriel runs but into a SUPERKICK! Azriel runs back in but misses, and Penta goes for a monkey flip but Azriel puts him on the top rope. Penta blocks Azriel’s haymaker, Azriel blocks the boot, and then Azriel DECKS Penta off the top! Penta goes to the floor, Azriel builds speed and FLIES! Direct hit and Azriel fires up! Azriel goes to the ring, puts Penta in and climbs back up, to leap INTO A SUPERKICK! Penta looms over Azriel, drags him up, and clubs him on the back.
Penta shouts CERO MIEDO in his face, runs, but Azriel knees him in the ropes! Azriel whips, knees Penta again, then whips for another knee! Azriel whips to wrench and knee again. Azriel wraps Penta into a cobra clutch for a BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Azriel grits his teeth, goes to the top rope, and FROG SPLASHES, onto knees! Penta drags Azriel up, pump handle half nelson for the PACKAGE DRIVER! Cover, TWO!?! Azriel survives and Penta can’t believe it! Penta drags Azriel back in, CERO MIEDO for the true package. Azriel slips out, Penta mule kicks and runs, SPRINGBOARD DESTROYER!!
But Penta isn’t done there, he’s going to make Azriel pay! DARK ARMBAR!!! Cover, Penta wins!
Winner: Penta El Zero M, by pinfall
Not only is Penta building momentum, he’s proving his edge is as sharp as ever! Will Penta do even worse to the others in order to become the Face of the Revolution?
Big Swole speaks!
“There’s a word going around that Big Swole is ‘underutilized.’ Nah, I’m under valued! I’ve scratched and clawed through Crohn’s Disease to become a contender. And when I did, I was met, nah, nah, I was slapped in the damn face with a tournament announcement for something that I have already earned!” Swole knows that the rankings are reset every year, but she was 38-hot about this! SO much, she took time off. And she kept thinking, “It doesn’t matter. The results of the tournament doesn’t matter. But it does.”
Swole is genuinely happy for Ryo Mizunami, and she’ll encourage everyone to watch as the “number one contender” takes on Hikaru Shida. And then whoever is champion after Revolution, congratulations! You’re a champion in debt! They owe Swole, and you don’t wanna owe Swole! Swole will “fight errybody and they momma to get what’s mine!” After Revolution, payment is due, and Swole’s price is gold! No more playing around, Swole’s going after the top spot! But will it be the Full Metal Warrior or Aneki that will be facing the REAL #1 contender?
Lance Archer w/ Jake the Snake VS John Skyler!
The Murderhawk Monster is also heading into the Face of the Revolution Ladder match, and is ready to remind AEW that #EverybodyDies! Will the Southern Savior be no different in the Dark?
The bell rings and Archer circles with Skyler. They tie up, and Archer throws Skyler right down and kicks him to a corner. Archer bumps Skyler off buckles, ROCKS him with a forearm, then digs his knee into Skyler’s head. The ref counts, Archer lets off, but he drags Skyler up to CLUB him back down! Archer sits Skyler up to CLUB him again, and then paces around. Skyler gets up but Archer choke grips. Skyler pulls Archer’s hair, kicks a leg, then fires off forearms! Skyler CHOPS away on Archer but he doesn’t flinch! Skyler kicks a leg, headlocks, but Archer powers him to a corner. Archer runs in, Skyler dodges, runs back in and uppercuts! Skyler runs and hits another uppercut!
Skyler wants the hat trick but Archer BOOTS him down! Archer then runs to DERAIL Skyler! Fans fire up as Archer dares Skyler to get up. Skyler crawls, Archer puts him in a corner and runs in to back elbow! And then again! And then again! Archer pushes Skyler aside to talk to the camera that this will be nothing compared to Sunday. Archer turns around, Skyler hits back, but Archer DECKS him! Archer drags Skyler up for a full nelson SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Skyler actually survives and Archer applauds him. Archer drags Skyler back up, and TWO HAND SUPLEXES Skyler to a corner!
Skyler flounders up, Archer runs in, but Skyler boots him! Skyler hops up top but Archer ROCKS him with an uppercut! Archer drags Skyler out in the inverted crucifix, for the BLACKOUT BOMB!! Cover, Archer wins!
Winner: Lance Archer, by pinfall
Jake gets a mic and says, “Lance, what have you gotten us into?” Six men, one is a mystery, but does it really matter? Jake likes surprises, don’t you? That’s what she said. But you put five men in the ring with Archer, and one of them being Cody Rhodes, Jake and Archer want to make him scream in pain. But how horrible, his wife is pregnant! That makes Jake weep. But what doesn’t bother Jake is taking what they thought was theirs and making it his! Archer takes the mic to say AEW will either give it to them, or they’ll take it. It has been a LONG year since debuting in AEW, and the TNT Championship was always meant to be his.
Archer is very, very happy Cody is in the match, because Archer is going to take Cody’s daughter’s daddy away from her. There will be no Daddy’s Little Girl. And all the other bodies in the ring, get in Archer’s way, he dares you! Nothing will stop Archer from taking the brass ring, putting Darby in pain like he’s never felt before, and becoming the rightful TNT Championship! Archer doesn’t care if you’re qualified or a random surprise, #EverybodyDies! Will the Murderhawk Monster be the Face of the Revolution?
Ricky Starks & Brian Cage w/ Hook VS Angel Fashion & Fuego del Sol!
Team Taz keeps trying to take the fight to Sting and Darby Allin but they keep getting checked. The Street Fight is coming, will the #AbsoluteMachines use the Fashionable Hombre and Fire of the Sun for a warm-up before Revolution?
The teams sort out, Starks starts with Fuego and circle. Fans rally for Fuego as he ties up with Starks but Starks waistlocks to slam him down! Starks brags that he didn’t even take the chains off, but Fuego fights up. Fuego reaches back, and flying-mares! Fuego mule kicks, runs but Starks scoops for a BIG back suplex! Starks strikes a pose, drags Fuego up, and suplexes. Cage tags in during the delay, then takes the hand-off into a stalling suplex! Cage holds Fuego up for a count of 10 before slamming him down! Fans boo but Cage soaks up the heat. Cage drags Fuego up, whips and CLOBBERS him with an elbow!
Cage drags Fuego back up, scoops him and uses Fuego for bicep curls. Fans boo but Cage tosses Fuego, only for Fuego to hot tag Fashion! Fashion runs, lariats, but Cage stays up! Cage runs, Fashion dodges to kick, kick and leap, into a SLAM! Fuego runs in but into a FLAPJACK! Starks gets in to SPEAR Fuego inside-out! Cage mule kicks, suplexes Fashion and holds him up, for a DRILL CLAW!! Cover, Team Taz wins!
Winner: Ricky Starks & Brian Cage, by pinfall
And it was that easy! But of course, things will be very different at Revolution. Will the #AbsoluteMachines take the sting out of the Icon and the Relentless?
Jack Evans w/ Angelico VS Jake St. Patrick!
The Hybrid2 are going into the Casino Tag Battle Royal, but the mouthier half is tuning up on his own. Will Evans win for both him and Angelico so they can be contenders?
The bell rings and Evans circles and ties up with JSP. Evans wrenches to a wristlock, then shifts through to drop toehold. Evans floats to a facelock, JSP fights his way up, and JSP back drops free! Evans gets a headlock but JSP powers out, only for Evans to run him over! Things speed up, JSP hurdles then drops to dropkick! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as JSP runs in and uppercuts Evans! JSP snapmares and runs to PENALTY KICK! And DOUBLE STOMPS! Cover, TWO! JSP grows frustrated already but he drags Evans up to uppercut! JSP whips Evans to a corner, Evans handsprings through and comes back to SCREW HIGH KICK! Fans boo but Evans is pissed with JSP.
Evans drags JSP up, throws big knees, then wrenches JSP to a whip, and BIG gamangiri! STANDING SKY TWIST! Cover, TWO! JSP survives but sputters to a corner and Evans is after him. Evans throws haymakers, wrenches and whips, but JSP reverses to run in and uppercut! JSP rolls and runs back in, but Evans sends him into buckles! Evans somersaults back to a Pele, then drags JSP down to a KIMURA! JSP clasps hands to resist and the two move around. JSP gets a ropebreak with his foot! Evans lets go and drags JSP up but JSP mule kicks, front kicks and enziguris, but Evans ducks the buzzsaw, only to get the second! Cover, TWO!!
JSP fires up, fans rally with him, and he drags Evans up to ROCK him! JSP whips Evans to ropes, Evans holds ropes to stop, and then Evans boots JSP to go to the apron. Evans kicks JSP low, slingshots up and over and backslides to then bridge! TWO, and Evans can’t believe it! JSP fireman’s carries to GO TO KICK! And then a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO!! Evans survives and JSP is shocked! Fans fire up as JSP goes to a corner. JSP climbs up top, but Evans hurries to jump up behind! SPIDER GERMAN! Evans sits back up and adjusts to leap, 630 SENTON! Cover, Evans wins!
Winner: Jack Evans, by pinfall
Evans from the Heavens came crashing down on JSP and has the momentum! But will it help TH2 become THE #1 contenders?
The Acclaimed drop another new single!
“Ladder match, ladder match, make the haters sadder match! All the fans cheering for me, ‘Get up on the ladder’ match! Ladder match, ladder match, quiet down the chatter match. Going for the gold but you know my name is Platinum Max! Ladder match, battle raps, creatin’ all these bets like my kids, call ’em Cabbage Patch. They wanna beat me, they gonna need a magic act. Cody’s only it it cuz he’s got big leagued by the Shaq Attack. Facts are facts, Platinum Max, damn Cody how you not embarrassed? Tony Khan’s the Biden, you just Kamala Harris. Yep, vice-president. So what if fans are never rootin? Cody’s the office, he’s no Face of the Revolution!
“Speaking of faces, we got Penta, yo, this guy is frontin’. He’s wearin’ paint and a mask, must be hidin’ somethin’. Why you scared, man? What happened to the Cero Miedo? Platinum Max, I rock the ice and you got cero fuego! Scorpio, I read your horoscope and then died of boredom. If you won the title shot, you’d trade it for a pair of Jordans. I ain’t scared of Lance, choke him with ponytail. I am with the Acclaimed, Platinum Max, I’m the holy grail!
“Ladder match, ladder match, make the haters sadder match! Say a little prayer like their name is Burt Bacharach. Think you gotta chance, man? I gotta laugh at that. Going for the gold but you know my name is Platinum Max!” Once again, Catser is dropping bars, but will Platinum not get the gold as easily?
The Gunn Club VS M’Badu & D3!
Billy’s boys are teaming up as a duo again, but against the Nigerian Warrior and Prince of Roma! Will the Gunn Club still be hitting the mark on behalf of the Nightmare Family?
The teams sort out, and after rock-paper-scissors, Austin starts with D3. They circle, tie up, and D3 waistlocks. Austin headlocks free, but D3 wrenches out. Austin gets a hammerlock, D3 spins through and whips but Austin goes up and over. Things speed up and Austin trips D3 to then hit a Throwback! D3 hurries and tags M’Badu in! Austin is wary but he ties up with M’Badu. M’Badu shoves Austin away and Colten tags in. Colten and M’Badu tie up, and they’re in a deadlock so they break. They go again, M’Badu gets the arm but Colten wrenches back. COlsten ducks the haymaker and runs, then slips out of the scoop. Things speed up. Colten hurdles and dropkicks M’Badu!
Tag to Austin, Colten whips him and to uppercut M’Badu! Austin keeps going, but M’Badu catches him for a POWERSLAM! Cover, ONE!! Tag to D3, he clubs away on Austin, then eggs him on. Austin throws body shots but D3 uppercuts and neckbreakers! Austin flounders, D3 puts him in the corner. D3 kicks Austin’s ribs, tags in M’Badu, and they mug Austin. M’Badu fires up, runs corner to corner and SPLASHES! Austin staggers and swings but is probably seeing double. Austin falls over, M’Badu covers him, ONE!! M’Badu tags D3, they drag Austin up and double whip.
Austin holds ropes, kicks M’Badu but he runs into D3’s slingblade, to counter it into a BACKBREAKER! M’Badu runs in but Austin dumps him out, hot tag to Colten! Colten rallies on D3 with big clotheslines! M’Badu tags in but Colten dodges to neckbreaker! Fans fire up with Colten as he runs and SPLASHES D3! Then SPLASHES M’Badu! Then scoops D3 for a tilt-o-whirl SLAM! M’Badu whips but Colten throws him out and Austin dropkicks him down! The Gunn Brothers double whip D3, for the 3:10 TO YUMA! Cover, the Gunn Club wins!
Winners: The Gunn Club, by pinfall
Whether just two or the whole trio, the Gunns are shooting on all cylinders! Will they and Papa Gunn be sharp towards some kind of title opportunity?
Thunder Rosa VS Tesha Price!
La Mera Mera didn’t get to accomplish her 2021 resolutions in the AEW Women’s Title Eliminator Tournament, but there’s still time! She’s going to get her shot at Britt Baker in the Revolution Buy-In, will Tesha be paying the price of admission?
The bell rings and Rosa circles with Price. They tie up, go around, and Rosa gets around to waistlock. Price sits down, pries at the hold and tells the ref to go away and stop bothering her. Rosa rolls Price to a lateral press, TWO! Rosa has a full nelson, Price fights up and pries free to arm-drag Rosa! Fans rally as Price feels proud of herself. She and Rosa circle, approach, and Rosa kicks low to CHOP hard! Rosa has Price in a corner, CHOPS her again, and then stands her up to bump off buckles. Rosa whips but Price blocks so Rosa ROCKS her! Price still reverse the whip to kick low and roar at Rosa. Price runs, goes up the ropes and flying arm-drags Rosa away!
Price runs, Rosa dodges and comes back for a hard arm-drag to a lateral press, TWO! Rosa whips, Price reverses but Rosa rolls her and shotguns her down! Fans fire up while Price is furious, but Rosa is on her with BIG forearms! Rosa whips corner to corner, Price goes up but Rosa catches her to an ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP! Cover, ONE!! Price survives but Rosa has her right into a CROSSFACE! And then the Rings of Saturn! With a leg hook! Price endures, tells the ref to shut up, but Rosa rolls her around to a cover, TWO! Rosa drags Price up, elbows her in the corner and elbows her again, to then run corner to corner, only for Price to dodge!
Price goes around the way to handspring KICK Rosa! Rosa avoids the bulldog to SNAP GERMAN! Rosa fires up and fans follow her. Price staggers up, Rosa runs in at the corner and A-List Lariats! Rosa dumps Price down to hit a SWINGING METEORA! Price panics, Rosa has her on ropes for the BASEMENT DROPKICK! Cover, TWO!! Price is showing what she’s worth but Rosa just runs again. Price drop toeholds Rosa into ropes! Price is shrieking as she goes to the apron and ROCKS Rosa with a forearm! Cover, TWO!! Price is furious but Rosa fires off fast hands! Rosa scoops for the THUNDER DRIVER! Cover, Rosa wins!
Winner: Thunder Rosa, by pinfall
The Thunder rolls into Revolution! Will she and Riho be able to shut the Dentist’s mouth once and for all?
Bear Country VS Ryzin & Cameron Stewart!
Bronson & Boulder are rolling as of late, and they’re ready to roll right into that Casino Tag Battle Royal at Revolution! Will this match be but a speedbump on their road to the top?
The teams sort out and Ryzin starts against Bronson. They circle, approach but Ryzin dodges and laughs at Bronson. Bronson grabs his finger and bends it! Ryzin throws haymakers but Bronson just smirks. Bronson tosses Ryzin to a corner, fires off body shots and clubbing forearms! Bronson fires up and fans fire up with him! Bronson whips Ryzin and hits a SPINEBUSTER! Ryzin sputters as Bronson runs but Ryzin gets away to tag out to CMS! CMS runs in but Bronson CLOBBERS him! Bronson runs and drops a BIG bear elbow! Bronson drags CMS up, CLUBS him, then has him in the corner to tag Boulder.
Boulder drags CMS up, TOSSES him to the open corner, then throws big back elbows and clubbing clotheslines! Boulder whips corner to corner, CMS rebounds into a BIG back drop! Boulder drags CMS back up, puts him in the corner and tags Bronson. Bronson whips Boulder in to SPLASH CMS! Boulder feeds CMS to Bronson’s elbow! Fans fire up and Bronson feeds off it as he looms over CMS. Bronson drags CMS up, CMS fights back with body shots, but Bronson blocks the whip. Bronson whips CMS, Ryzin tags in, CMS sunset flips and Ryzin runs in! CMS avoids the worst and both he and Ryzin kick Bronson. They double whip, but Bronson breaks through, and Boulder CLOBBERS CMS & Ryzin!
Fans fire up as Boulder lines up CMS and Ryzin for a DOUBLE SCOOP SLAM! Boulder makes sure they stay stacked as he tags in Bronson. Bronson climbs up, Boulder Electric Chair lifts him, and they hit the BEAR COUNTRY SPLASH! Double cover, Bear Country wins!
Winners: Bear Country, by pinfall
But wait! Here comes Bunny Allie! That can only mean the “wolves” aren’t far behind! And here they are! Blade BLINDSIDES Boulder, Butcher ambushes Bronson, and they beat the Bears down with CHAIRS! They SMACK and SMACK and SMACK away on Bronson & Boulder, and Bunny laughs more like a hyena! Blade digs his foot into Boulder’s face while Butcher gets in Bronson’s face! The “wolves” sit Boulder up for Bunny to slap and slap and stomp! Referees rush out to stop this, but the damage has been done! Blade tells the Bears to do themselves a favor and stay off Revolution! But will The Butcher & The Blade still find themselves lost in Bear Country soon enough?
Preston Vance & Alan Angels w/ The Dark Order VS LaBron Kozone & Vary Morales!
Number 10 didn’t make it into the Face of the Revolution Ladder match, but he and Number 5 can still climb up the tag team rankings! Will they be rolling strong with the rest of the Dark Order going into Revolution?
The teams sort out and Vance starts with the Ring Warrior, Kozone. They circle, Kozone goes for a leg but Vance avoids the grip. Vance nods, knowing this is serious. They tie up, Kozone headlocks and throws punches! Kozone runs but into an elbow. Vance dodges the back hand to ROCK Kozone back. Vance whips, Kozone reverses but the pounce isn’t enough to knock Vance over! Vance hip tosses, but Kozone comes back to ROLLING ELBOW! Kozone gloats but Vance BOOTS him down! Vance lets Kozone tag Morales in as he tags in Angels. Angels runs Morales over, things speed up, and Morales follows to run Angels over!
Things keep moving, Angels drop but the hip toss is blocked to a headscissors! Morales dodges Angels but Angels headscissors back! Morales arm-drags, Angels arm-drags, but the dropkicks cancel out! Much respect between the teams, but then Morales tries to ambush! Angels was ready, he dropkicks Morales down and gets upset with Morales. Angels climbs up to rain down lefts. They count, and Angels makes sure to top it off at five! Tag to Vance, he whips Angels in to clothesline Morales, then scoops Morales, SHOTGUN FALL AWAY COMBO! Fans fire up as Vance looms over Morales. Vance brings Morales up to suplex and stall, for a count of 10!
Morales staggers to a corner, Vance whips him corner to corner then runs in to clothesline! Vance whips back the other way, but Morales boots back this time! Morales hops up to flying missile dropkick! Hot tags to Kozone and Angels! Angels rallies on Kozone, then dodges to enziguri! Angels kips up while Kozone staggers to ropes. Angels says, “This is gonna suck!” CROSSBODY against the ropes! Angels then DIVES to take out Morales! Fans fire up with Angels as he goes back to Kozone, dodges him and fireman’s carries! SAMOAN DRIVER! Cover, but Morales breaks it! Vance gets in and hits Morales with a SPINEBUSTER!
Vance tosses Morales, Angels tags him in, and they give Kozone the WING SNAPPER to the hammerlock, INVERTED RAINMAKER! Cover, The Dark Order wins!
Winners: Preston Vance & Alan Angels, by pinfall
Whether it’s 5 & 10, 3 & 4, or the OG, Uno & Stu, the Dark Order is ready to dominate the Casino Tag Battle Royal! Will the AEW World Tag Team Championships #JoinDarkOrder one way or another?
Tay Conti w/ Negative One VS Leila Grey!
The Brazilian Blackbelt could not overcome the Native Beast in the Women’s Title Eliminator Tournament, but she can always fight her way up the rankings! Will the stop the #UnstoppableDanger in Grey’s Dark debut?
The bell rings and Conti circles with Grey. They tie up, Grey pushes Conti away and shows off her dance moves. Conti and Grey tie up again, Conti headlocks and grinds Grey down. Conti shifts around, wrenches the arm, but Grey throws Conti by her hair! Conti kips up to wrench and hammerlock and get the headlock back! Grey stomps Conti’s feet, gets the headlock in return, but Conti powers out. Conti kicks and BOOTS, then waistlocks Grey. Grey back hands but Conti ducks that to throw Grey around! Conti sits Grey up to KIKCK her in the chest, then KICK her again! Conti even blows a kiss, but Grey ducks the buzzsaw, only to get the HEEL KICK!
Grey bails out, Conti pursues while Negative One trolls Grey. Conti throws forearms on Grey, puts her in the ring, and pursues. Grey swings but Conti counter punches! Conti whips Grey to a corner, runs in but Grey dodges and Conti POSTS herself! Grey KCIKS away on Conti, then digs her boot in! The ref counts, Grey lets off to snapmare Conti and Negative One is having a fit! Grey runs to basement dropkick! Cover, ONE!! Grey drags Conti up, “You think you’re better than me?!” Grey pie faces Conti, Conti CHOPS her! Conti throws forearms, throws Grey around with sayanagi once, twice, three times!
Conti whips but Grey reverses, but Conti goes to the apron and Grey gets buckles! Conti climbs, leaps over, and runs back in to BOOT Grey! And KNEE! Conti drags Grey out to the HAMMERLOCK DDT! Cover, Conti wins!
Winner: Tay Conti, by pinfall
Conti stays strong in the absence of her best friend, Anna Jay, and celebrates with Negative One! Will they manage to convince more members of the AEW roster to #JoinDarkOrder?
The Sydal Brothers VS Chaos Project!
Two more teams who are entering the Casino Tag Battle Royal are battling it out for final momentum! But will Matt & Mike be able to overcome the Original Death Dealer and SNAKEMAN in this Dark main event?
The teams sort out, Mike starts with Serpentico and they circle. Fans rally up, Serpentico and Mike approach, but Luther attacks! Matt gets in but Serpentico clubs him down! Luther clubs Mike, then whips Serpentico, but both Sydals go Matrix! Then the Sydals double dropkick Chaos Project down! The Sydals double whip Serpentico to drop toehold and basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Mike throws EuroUppers, then tags in Matt. Serpentico is on the ropes for the DRAPING DOUBLE STOMPS! Mike scoops Serpentico for the SNAP SIDEWALK SLAM! Cover, TWO! Matt stomps Serpentico, throws his knee in, but Serpentico throws body shots. Serpentico runs, into an elbow!
Tag to Mike, and they set Serpentico up again for more DRAPING DOUBLE STOMPS! Mike snapmares Serpentico, and hits a STANDIN MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Serpentico flounders and Luther shrieks but Mike CHOPS Serpentico. Mike throws a headbutt, whips but Serpentico reverses. Luther gets a cheap shot but Mike kicks him back! Serpentico scoops, Mike sips out to scoop and MICHINOKU DRIVER! Cover, TWO! Mike CLUBS Serpentico, whips him corner to corner, then runs in only to be put on the apron. Mike blocks the forearm but Luther anchors his feet! Serpentico hotshots Mike and then Luther THROWS him into railing!
The ref reprimands Luther and Matt hurries over but Luther puts Mike in. Serpentico runs for an ax handle drop! Cover, TWO! Serpentico drags Mike up, tags Luther in, and they mug Mike. Luther chokes Mike on the rpoes, the ref counts and Luther throws Mike down at 4. Luther stomps Mike, whips him into the corner and throws a hip check! Tag to Serpentico, and Luther whips him in for a splash! Serpentico is fired up but Luther SPLASHES him and Mike! Then Luther BOWLS Serpentico into Mike! Serpentico rains down rights on Mike, then drags him up. Fans rally, Luther tags in and Chaos Project mugs Mike again.
Luther snap butterfly suplexes and drops a knee on Mike. Tag to Serpentico while standing on Mike’s head! Serpentico is again use as the weapon, ATOMIC LEG DROP! Luther pushes Serpentico to run and BULLDOG SPLASH him onto Mike! Cover, TWO!! Serpentico drags Mike over to tag Luther in. Luther stomps Mike, kicks him to ropes, then brings him up again. Luther CLUBS Mike, snapmares him down and clamps on a chinlock. Mike endures, fights up, and throws body shots. Mike runs but Luther BOOTS him down! Luther just drags Serpentico in, he feeds Mike to Serpentico, to then run, LARIAT to Serpentico to force the DDT! Cover, TWO!
Luther drags Mike up and puts him in a corner. Luther stomps Mike, throws haymakers, then tags in Serpentico officially now. Luther scoop slams Mike, then scoop slam SENTONS Serpentico onto Mike’s knees! Mike saves himself but Luther stomps him down! Luther drags Mike up, Mike slips out of the back suplex to dodge and hot tag! Matt rallies with big kicks on Chaos Project! SOBAT for Luther, WINDMILL for Serpentico! Matt brings Serpentico around to scoop, FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Serpentico survives but Matt keeps close. Matt drags him up but Serpentico fireman’s carries back! Matt fights free, Luther runs in, but gets the JAWBREAKER SLICE COMBO!
STANDING MARIPOSA for Serpentico! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up, Matt reels Serpentico into the Russian Leg Sweep, and COBRA CLUTCH STRETCH! Luther CLOBBERS Matt! Mike runs in but Luther swings on him. Matt SUPERKICKS to the splits! Matt and Mike coordinate, Mike climbs but Serpentico fights free to avoid the cartwheel! Matt KNEES and ROUNDHOUSES Serpentico, Mike joins in, they DOUBLE LIGHTNING SPIRAL!! Cover, the Sydals win!
Winners: The Sydal Brothers, by pinfall
Lightning doesn’t strike twice, but it does strike twice over! Will Matt & Mike make major waves in the tag team battle royal? Will they become contenders in the blink of a third eye?
A pretty good Dark, though at just over 90 minutes, I don’t think any of these matches were all that long. I will say, Tesha Price’s dramatic behavior in her match was pretty funny and it kinda works as a character trait. I also liked that Bononi and Avalon put a twist on their entrance with Bononi towing Avalon on his heart bed. Miro attacking Chuck after his match was a good, last minute way to build things for their tag match, and I almost hope that Cassidy “won’t be able to compete” at Revolution, and just as it looks like Chuck might be in a handicap match, Trent returns! That way, Trent can get his own payback on Miro, and the Best Friends move on from the Best Man and Kip in one fell swoop.
Another highlight was Big Swole giving us a great promo for her story. I was hoping someone at some point in AEW would bring up how they are doing these tournaments and battle royals and ladder matches when THE RANKINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO MATTER. While tournaments, battle royals and ladder matches are lots of fun, if you say the rankings matter, that the win-loss records matter, then you use that as priority. Swole should’ve been facing Shida for a PPV, and then either the tournament finals happened on the same PPV, or was just setting someone up for after the PPV. Shida VS Mizunami will still be great, but I appreciate that Swole is hangry for her opportunity.
My Score: 8/10
Mitchell’s AEW Dark: Elevation Results & Report! (8/15/22)
Minneapolis gets Elevated!
It’s a Superbad return!
Penelope Ford returns to action in AEW as Dark: Elevation serves the leftovers from Dynamite’s Quake by the Lake!
- Tony Nese & Josh Woods w/ Mark Sterling VS Travis Titan & Arik Cannon; Nese & Woods win.
- 8 Man Tag: The Dark Order VS T.U.G Cooper, Drew System, Rylie Jackson & Adam Grace; The Dark Order wins.
- Serena Deeb VS Sierra; Deeb wins.
- Konosuke Takeshita VS Cezar Bononi; Konosuke wins.
- Julia Hart VS Free-Range Kara; Julia wins.
- Private Party VS JAH-C & JDX; Private Party wins.
- Penelope Ford VS Heather Reckless; Ford wins.
- The Acclaimed VS Justin Fowler & JT Energy; The Acclaimed win.
- Six Woman Tag: Hikaru Shida & ThunderStorm VS Emi Sakura, Marina Shafir & Nyla Rose w/ Vickie Guerrero; Shida & ThunderStorm win.
Great to see Penelope Ford is back in action. I wonder if Kip Sabian will make his in-ring return soon. Unless he wants to keep stalking Pac a little longer as the box man… Private Party is going to get a win as the warm-up for their AEW World Tag Team Championship match this Wednesday, and pretty much the entirety of The Dark Order is in action in that 8 Man Tag. Konosuke VS Bononi is going to be really good. Bononi is certainly the biggest opponent physically speaking for Konosuke to take on, so we’ll get to see how Konosuke handles that situation.
Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (8/12/22)
Rampage by the Lake!
It’s a packed Friday night for Minneapolis!
From the AAA World Mixed Tag Team Championships to a preview of the AEW World Trios Championship tournament, Rampage is jampacked!
- AAA World Mixed Tag Team Championships: Sammy Guevara & Tay Melo VS Dante Martin & Skye Blue; Sammy & Tay win and retain the titles.
- Parker Boudreaux w/ The Trustbusters VS Sonny Kiss; Boudreaux wins.
- Beardhausen VS Gunn Club; Gunn Club wins.
- Orange Cassidy w/ Best Friends VS Ari Daivari w/ The Trustbusters; Cassidy wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Bryan Danielson is here!
The American Dragon is back and Minneapolis is fired up to see him! Bryan goes to the ring and Tony Schiavone is there waiting for him to say we can all tell Bryan is here with purpose. So first, there is speculation that after the loss to Daniel Garcia, Bryan is not 100%. Second, Garcia has said he is the “Dragonslayer,” and he will not only defeat Bryan but end his career. Bryan takes the mic to say, “To be honest, I’ve been wrestling almost 23 years, I don’t know if I will ever be 100%. But I don’t need to be 100%, I need to live 100%! And there is nothing that makes me feel more alive than being in this ring!”
Fans cheer that and Bryan continues to say, “I will never willfully stop wrestling. Daniel Garcia said if I get in the ring with him, he’ll slay the dragon, end my career. Do you know what? Someone is gonna have to damn end my career because I am not going to end this ring on my own. But my career will not end this Wednesday!” But then Garcia is on stage and telling Bryan to “hold up, hold up, hold up. Bryan, it’s no secret that Bryan Danielson is my hero! You’re my hero, Bryan! But it sounds like to me that my hero is prepared to lose. It sounds like to me that my hero is coming up with excuses.” Fans boo that as Garcia gets in the ring.
Garcia says that he isn’t sure how many times he can put up with this! Bryan retires, then comes back, then retires again, then comes back again. Bryan can’t keep putting Garcia through this, it hurts Garcia. Garcia says when Bryan hurts Garcia, Garcia wants to hurt Bryan back. And when you step in the ring with Garcia again, Garcia will hurt him so bad, that he ends Bryan’s career for good! And then he won’t just be the Dragonslayer, he’ll be the Greatest Technical Sports Entertainer on the Planet.
Fans boo and Bryan responds with, “I’m okay with people saying they’re gonna end my career. Ever since I came to AEW, I’ve been talking about violence. I love violence, and violence begets violence. But do you know what really pisses me off? It’s that sports entertainment BS!” Fans cheer for that! Bryan knows what Chris Jericho’s been shoving down Garcia’s throat, and it IS that sports entertainment crap! Do you all know that this kid, Daniel Garcia, was one of the first names Bryan mentioned when talking about starting the Blackpool Combat Club? And why? Because Bryan saw Garcia at 21 years old go 60 MINUTES in front of 250 people, showing them the best wrestling Bryan’s seen in a young talent in YEARS!
So let Bryan ask Garcia, and he wants Garcia to think about it all the way to Wednesday, when Bryan’s stomping Garcia’s face in! “Do you wanna be the Best Technical Sports Entertainer on the Planet? Or, or… Look at me when I talk to you!” Bryan even grabs Garcia’s face to keep him looking forward! “If I was your hero, do you want to be the Best Technical Wrestler in the world? And I’ll leave that up to you.” Bryan drops the mic and leaves Garcia to mull that over. What path will Garcia choose while his career is still young?
AAA World Mixed Tag Team Championships: Sammy Guevara & Tay Melo VS Dante Martin & Skye Blue!
Another young protégé of Chris Jericho, and his blushing new bride, are back in action! And for the first time in AEW, they defend the belts that signify their bond! But will the Spanish God and his Brazilian Goddess celebrate a title win on top of their marriage? Or will Angel Dorado & Cielo Azul prove that for once, love doesn’t conquer all?
The introductions are made, the matching red ‘n’ blue belts are raised, and we see if the hometown hero of Minneapolis and the girl next door can win the big one!
The teams sort out, and Skye insists that it’s ladies first. Tay and Sammy kiss for luck, but Dante tells Sammy to leave that stuff backstage. Sammy shoves Dante down! So Skye fires off on Tay! And Dante TACKLES Sammy! The fans fire up as the scraps continue, and the ladies spill out of the ring! Dante TACKLES Sammy again, so it seems the gentlemen are starting instead! Tay RAMS Skye into the railing, Sammy shoves Dante again but Dante trips Sammy up! Dante rains down more forearms while fans fire up for the 612! Sammy gets up and KNEES Dante, then soaks up the heat. Sammy CHOPS Dante against ropes, then whips him to ropes.
Dante reverses, knees and CHOPS Sammy in return, then ROCKS and CHOPS him again. Dante whips Sammy to ropes, Tay catches Sammy to stop him then tags in. Skye is to come in automatically, but she tags to climb up and CROSSBODY! Skye then gets around but Tay throws her off with the judo hip toss. Skye shoves Tay so Tay SLAPS Skye! Skye smirks and SLAPS back! And then fires off fast hands! Fans fire up but Tay trips Skye! Tay steps through, rolls and uses the leg lock to THROW Skye! Tay steps over into a modified STF, and she chinbars Skye into an almost Bow ‘n’ Arrow style stretch! Skye endures, scoots but Tay makes it a cover, ONE!
Skye has a cover, ONE! Skye ROCKS Tay, whips her to ropes, and fans rally. Tay holds ropes but Skye SHINING WIZARDS! And SHINING WIZARDS again! Tay shoves Skye, Skye dodges and mule kicks a leg! Tay blocks the superkick but now the DRAGON WHIP! Fans fire up and Skye runs, but Sammy swipes at her! The ref reprimands, but Tay BOOTS Skye down! Fans boo SamTay while Rampage goes picture in picture.
Tay stomps Skye, covers her, TWO! Tay is frustrated and she talks trash on Dante. Tay stalks Skye to ropes to CHOKE her! The ref counts, Tay lets off at 4, and then she drags Skye up to whip her into a DROP SAYANAGI! And then another! And another, but Skye blocks to a cradle! TWO, and Tay ROCKS Skye! Tay kicks Skye around, drags her up, and she kisses Sammy. That’s not a tag so Tay CLUBS away on Skye. Tay cravats to throw knee after knee into Skye, and then whips her into a neutral corner. Tay runs in and BOOTS Skye! Tay runs in again but Skye dodges the boot to roll Tay up, with a bridge, TWO!!
Rampage returns to single picture and Tay grabs a leg, but Skye ENZIGURIS Tay down! Fans fire up as Skye crawls, hot tag to Dante! That brings Sammy in, but Dante fakes him out into a TACKLE! Dante rains down fists, Sammy shoves him away but Dante rallies with forearm smashes! Dante then ducks a haymaker to DROPKICK Sammy out! Minneapolis fires up and Dante takes aim. Tay runs in but Dante goes up and over her! Dante DIVES and takes out Sammy! Fans fire up as Dante puts Sammy in fast. Dante slides in but Tay anchors a foot! The ref reprimands, Dante drags Tay into the ring with that foot, and Sammy grabs Dante!
Sammy clinches but Dante breaks free. Dante kicks, Sammy blocks and flips Dante, over Tay! Dante then uses Tay as a step to hit a DESTROYER on Sammy!! Sammy flops down, Dante covers, TWO!! Sammy survives and Dante can’t believe it! “This is Awesome!” and Dante drags Sammy up. Sammy KNEES Dante back, torture racks, but Dante slips off! Skye tags in, Dante gets Sammy in a half nelson! Sammy elbows free, Tay tilt-o-whirl DDTs Dante! But Skye FLYING RANAS Sammy! The ladies cleared the ring, Tay SUPERKICKS and hooks Skye, TAY K O!! Cover, SamTay win!
Winners: Sammy Guevara & Tay Melo, by pinfall (still AAA World Mixed Tag Team Champions)
There was a lot of fire in the hearts of Dante & Skye, but not enough to burn down Sammy & Tay. Will Mr. & Mrs. Champion continue to reign on everyone’s parade?
The Lucha Brothers speak.
Rey Fenix says, “After a long road, the Lucha Brothers are coming back for gold.” Penta, with Alex Abrahantes translating, tells Andrade and the world, “This hasn’t finished. But next week, the All-Atlantic Champion returns, and Death Triangle will be reunited and will fight for the Trios Championships.” The Bastard, Pac, is returning from his European tour, will he, Penta & Fenix be ready for The United Empire’s Aussie Open and Will Ospreay in the opening round?
Parker Boudreaux w/ The Trustbusters VS Sonny Kiss!
Ari Daivari recruited this brutal blue chipper to the group, knowing this would be a very wise investment. Will Parker pay off right away? Or will the Concrete Rose prove not to judge a book by its cover?
The bell rings and Parker CLOBBERS Kiss! Kiss flounders, Parker drags him up with a facelock and CLUBS away on the corner! Parker lets off as the ref counts and runs in, but Kiss dodges the splash! Kiss ROCKS Parker, then runs to handspring and SLAP! And uppercut! But Parker grabs Kiss by the neck, for a CHOKE SLAM! Parker snarls and drags Kiss up to a back suplex SLAM!! Cover, Parker wins!
Winner: Parker Boudreaux, by pinfall
Slim J is pumped for Parker but Parker just looks hungry for more. Will the Trustbusters eat well when the Trios Championship begins?
La Faccion Ingobernable meets with the former Andrade Family Office.
Andrade formally introduces Rush to Butcher, Blade and Private Party. Rush doesn’t like Private Party. But Andrade says it’s fine! The LFI will win those Trios Championships, unlike Private Party against Keith Lee. Jose even adds that was embarrassing. Isiah Kassidy tells Jose to shut up, and he tells El Idolo that people like him have been sleeping on Private Party for a very long time. But that’s fine, because it all changes. Private Party will wake Andrade up. Well good, maybe Private Party can get this group those world tag titles. Upper management leaves, will Kassidy & Quen redeem themselves in the eyes of the ungovernables?
Beardhausen VS Gunn Club!
Erick Redbeard returns to AEW alongside the Very Nice, Very Evil Danhausen to teach these Ass Boys something! Not quite sure what, but will Danhausen & Erick put a curse on the Gunn Club? Or can Austin & Colten redeem themselves after losing in the Dumpster Match?
The teams sort out and Erick starts against Colten. Fans taunt the “ASS~ BOYS! ASS~ BOYS!” Colten shrugs that off to tie up with Erick, and Erick shoves Colten down! Fans fire up but Austin tags in. Austin steps to Erick now, but then decides not. Psych! Austin rushes in, but Erick runs him over! The boys bail out and regroup and Billy asks what the hecc! Billy tells Austin to get in there, but then Danhausen tags in! Fans fire up as Danhausen flexes on Austin. He powers up and… CURSES Austin! But Austin DECKS Danhausen! So no hex? Austin bumps Danhausen off buckles as Rampage goes picture in picture.
Austin tags Colten, Colten bumps Danhausen off more buckles then stomps away. Colten whips corner to corner, runs in, but Danhausen boots him away! Danhausen goes up, reels Colten in, and puts him in the ROPE BUTTERFLY! Austin protests but that only means Colten suffers longer! The ref counts, Danhausen lets go at 4, and then he slingshots up to the top! But while the ref is checking on Colten, Austin sucker punches Danhausen! Colten then DROPKICKS Danhausen down! Colten soaks up the heat, drags Danhausen up and brings him around to bump off buckles. Colten stomps Danhausen, the ref counts, and he lets off at 4.
Colten taunts Erick but then backs off as Erick steps in. Colten bumps Danhausen off buckles, tags Austin in, but Danhausen fights back! He fires off haymakers on Austin, but Austin kicks low! Austin ROCKS Danhausen, taunts the fans, and Billy taunts Danhausen with an Orange Cassidy thumbs up. Austin drags Danhausen up to stomp away in the corner, then lets off as the ref counts. The ref reprimands Austin but misses Colten CHOKING Danhausen! Colten CLUBS Danhausen then tells fans they saw nothing! Austin stomps Danhausen, drags him up, and brings him around as Rampage goes to break.
Rampage returns and Austin has Danhausen in a headlock. Fans rally up and Danhausen slips away! Austin rushes after him but Danhausen slips under! And then under again, hot tag to Erick! Redbeard rallies on the Gunn Clubs, BOOT for Austin, DROPKICK for Colten! Then a SPLASH and TOSS for Colten, then he runs at Austin, Austin BOOTS Erick, but Erick TOSSES Austin out onto Colten! Erick goes out now and runs in to CROSSBODY both Ass Boys! Fans fire up as Erick puts Austin in and fans rally up for the slingshot senton! Shoutout to Brodie Lee! Then a HEEL KICK! Cover, Colten breaks it!
Fans boo as Colten hammers away on Erick! Colten rags Erick up, Austin joins in, but Erick fights the double suplex to DOUBLE SUPLEX Gunn Club! Fans are thunderous, and Danhausen wants back in! Tag and Danhausen is in! Erick drags Austin up for him, Danhausen hooks Austin up, and Erick runs! But Colten distracts the ref and Billy dumps Erick out! Fans boo and Austin turns things around into a FAMOUSER! Cover, Gunn Club wins!!
Winners: Gunn Club, by pinfall
Big assist from Daddy Ass, and yet Billy gets the mic to say, “Oh my God, are you kidding me? Really, that’s what you’re giving us? No wonder they call you Ass Boys, and no wonder I miss The Acclaimed.” Ouch… Billy means that the guys need to toughen up a bit. A lot of bit! They sure ain’t doing what he’s taught them, that’s a fact! But that’s okay, on Dynamite, they’ve got another match to prove themselves with. But who is it? Billy doesn’t say, will Austin & Colten just have to tough it out? Wait, Stokely Hathaway is in the crowd, offering his business card again. Austin & Colten don’t accept, and they follow after Billy.
Backstage interview with Keith Lee & Swerve Strickland.
Lexi Nair is with the AEW World Tag Team Champions, Swerve in Our Glory. Earlier, Andrade made it clear that he wants Private Party to go after the titles. Now, Keith Lee has history with them, but what makes the tag title match different? Keith chuckles and says, “Listen. I got here, Mr. Kassidy was a challenger, and I dismantled him. His friend, Quen, jumps in, I dismantle him. I don’t know if this makes sense, but if you didn’t have a chance against me, what makes you think you have a chance against us? Please, do the math.”
Swerve admits math wasn’t his best subject, when it came to counting money! But um, he added up Private Party’s losses, subtracted their wins, and carried the one, and the still don’t add up to a top five ranking team! So they will allow Private Party to be grace the champs with their presence, since no ranked team wants to, and they can #SwerveInOurGlory. Whose house? “SWERVE’S HOUSE!” Will Quen & Kassidy take advantage of this gracious opportunity? Or will they be of further disappointment to El Idolo.
HOOK is here!
Minneapolis fires up for the Cold-Hearted, Handsome Devil of a NEW FTW Champion! Hook goes to the ring, Schiavone is there, and Schiavone says there is no question that one of the most incredible debuts in AEW culminated with Hook becoming FTW Champion. As we understand it, this title is always in open challenge. Is that right, Hook? “Yup.” Okay. We’ve followed Hook’s career, short as it is still, and it has been tremendous. But wait! Out walks Zack Clayton! He introduces himself as “The Reality,” and he knows some recognize him from his reality TV superstardom in the great state of New Jersey!
Clayton tells Hook that he will take that FTW Championship from him, “you little wannabe tough guy New Yorker!” And Clayton will bring it to God’s Country, New Jersey, where it belongs! Hook nods and wave Clayton to bring it, but Clayton says no, he just got new boots made, they’re not ready it. And plus, being a Jersey guy, he does things on his terms. So how about we do this on next week’s Rampage? Hook holds up the belt to say sure thing! The match is made, will The Reality be the one getting a reality check against the Son of Taz?
Mark Henry speaks with tonight’s main eventers!
The World’s Strongest Man says Ari Daivari offered Orange Cassidy a spot in the Trustbusters, but what is it that Daivari sees in him? “Mark, Orange Cassidy is easily, hands down, one of the most talented professional wresters on the AEW roster. And now that my trust has officially kicked in, I am investing my hard earned money into the best talent around.” Look what he’s already down for Slim J and Parker Boudreaux! And Orange doesn’t wanna join that? He still wants to hang out with “those stupid goofs?” Hey, you don’t wanna join in, fine! They’ll do the next best thing, and Daivari will beat Orange’s ass in this old dump of a hometown, Minneapolis!
Wow. Well, uh, looks like there’s been enough talk. Orange, no, that’s Mark’s line. Oh. Well, it is true, though. It’s time for the main event! Will Cassidy give Quake by the Lake a Freshly Squeezed main event? Or will Daivari Dinero make that money?
Orange Cassidy w/ Best Friends VS Ari Daivari w/ The Trustbusters!
The bell rings and fans rally for “Freshly Squeezed!” as he gives Best Friends his jacket and tie-dye shirt. Cassidy lifts up his hands but Daivari has him wait before putting them in his pockets. Daivari gets a mic and says, “I’m gonna give you one last chance to join the Trustbusters. All you have to do is lay down and let me pin you, then the four of us can get out of this sh*tty town.” Fans boo and Cassidy… nods?! Cassidy lies down and Daivari says he knew Cassidy was smarter than that. Cassidy is ready, Daivari takes a moment to decide what angle he’s coming in from, but then Cassidy rolls away!
Fans laugh and Cassidy tells Daivari to hurry up. Daivari goes to cover again but Cassidy rolls away again! Daivari is annoyed, he storms up but Cassidy rolls out of the ring. And then puts his hands up, to… Nope, Cassidy has to get in the ring as Daivari rushes out! Cassidy then rolls all the way to the far side and gets a GROUP HUG from Best Friends! Got to give the people what they want! But then Boudreaux and Slim J flank them! Chuck & Trent step to them, Daivari rushes out after Cassidy! Daivari puts Cassidy in but things speed up! Cassidy ducks, waistlocks, Daivari switches but Cassidy switches back.
Daivari switches again and he SLAMS Cassidy down! Cassidy fights up, pries at the hold, goes for a leg, but then just puts his hands up. And he slips his hands inside the waistlock to put them in his pockets! Cassidy uses that to break free! And kangaroo kicks! Things speed up, Cassidy hurdles and SHOTGUNS Daivari down! Fans fire up as Cassidy kips up, and then he blocks Daivari’s kick! It was headed a little low and Daivari apologizes, but Cassidy shoves Daivari to a corner. Daivari goes up and out, Cassidy rushes in but into a shoulder! And then a DRAPING NECKBREAKER! Daivari grins and hugs it out with his team, NOT what the people want.
Daivari takes his time returning and Rampage goes picture in picture. Daivari drags Cassidy up, whips him to a corner hard, and Cassidy bounces off buckles. Daivari soaks up the heat from the fans and he stands Cassidy up. Daivari CHOPS Cassidy in the corner, follows him along the way to another corner, and then drags him up to whip corner to corner hard! Cassidy bounces off buckles again, and Daivari drags him back up. Daivari puts Cassidy in the ropes, CHOKES him, but lets off at 4. Slim J chokes Cassidy behind the ref’s back! Best Friends protest but the ref misses it all. Trent storms over but Slim J has Parker backing him up.
Daivari stomps Cassidy, then drags him up to turn him for a Neckbreaker Rack! Cassidy endures the stretch, pries at the hold, and fans rally up as Cassidy turns things back around! Daivari fights the backslide, but Cassidy fights it back. They struggle for control, Daivari swings Cassidy out for a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Daivari is annoyed, he slaps Cassidy around, and then drags him up to TOSS out of the ring! The ref watches Slim J and Parker, and Best Friends storm over to back them off. Daivari goes out to fetch Cassidy, and RAMS him into the apron! Daivari RAMS Cassidy into railing and soaks up the heat from the front row.
Daivari puts Cassidy in the ring, talks trash on Trent, then clamps onto Cassidy with a chinlock. Cassidy endures, pries at the hold, and fans rally as he works on the grip! Rampage returns to single picture as Cassidy has the hold open. Cassidy turns things around but Daivari turns them right back and shoves Cassidy to ropes! Daivari catches Cassidy to a SLEEPER, but Cassidy flails and reaches out! Cassidy is fading, and is turning red, but he gets the ROPEBREAK! Daivari SLAPS the arms off the ropes and puts the SLEEPER on again! Fans rally as Cassidy endures again, but the ref checks. The arm drops once! And then it drops twice!
But Cassidy gets his second wind, puts both hands up, and then puts them in his pockets! Cassidy RAMS Daivari into buckles, gets free and dodges a lariat, but DOUBLE LARIATS collide on the return! Fans rally up again as both men stir. A standing count starts and climbs, the Trustbusters and Best Friends coach their guys up. Cassidy gets to a corner and drags himself up while Daivari stands. Daivari runs in but only gets buckles! Cassidy runs in but gets put on the apron! Cassidy blocks a punch to bump Daivari and then climbs. Daivari CHOPS Cassidy, then CHPOS again! Daivari hurries to set Cassidy up, but Cassidy boots Daivari away!
Cassidy adjusts now, but Daivari CHOPS him again! Daivari climbs up after Cassidy but Cassidy resists. Daivari CLUBS away on Cassidy, but Cassidy SHOVES Daivari down! Cassidy leaps, CROSSBODY! Cassidy keeps moving, ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl, but no DDT! Daivari whips, Cassidy goes up but Daivari KICKS him out of the air! But Cassidy dodges again, only for Daivari to dodge and RUNNING NECKBREAKER! Cassidy staggers up, Daivari reels him in, but Cassidy suplexes first! Fans fire up as Cassidy gets to a corner. The standing count returns but fans rally for “Freshly Squeezed!”
Cassidy is up first, he gives those “devastating” kicks to Daivari, but dodges a superkick to SUPERKICK back! Cassidy prepares the arm, runs in, but Daivari turns Orange Punch into URENAGE! Cover, TWO!! Daivari is furious but he drags Cassidy up. Daivari says Cassidy should’ve accepted the offer. Daivari hammerlocks the arm, but Cassidy arm-drags him away! Cassidy tilt-o-whirls and DDTs! Fans fire up and Cassidy goes up top, DEEP IMPACT!! Cover TWO!! Daivari survives two DDTs in a row but the armband comes off! Cassidy is fired up, Slim J gets on the apron! Chuck trips him up! Parker grabs Chuck and Trent!
Cassidy DIVES to take Parker out! Cassidy hurries back up but Daivari trips him up! Daivari crosses the arms, ICONOCLASM!! Cover, TWO!! Daivari is furious but he slashes his throat! He vows to end this with the hammerlock and LION- NO, Cassidy ducks then rolls Daivari up. ONE as Daivari rolls through, Cassidy ducks the superkick to ORANGE PUNCH!! Cover, Cassidy wins!
Winner: Orange Cassidy, by pinfall
Cassidy refused to sell out Slim J CLOBBERS Cassidy! But Best Friends TOSS Slim J out Only to turn around and get CLOBBERED by Parker! Parker SPLASHES Chuck in one corner, then SPLASHES Trent in the other, and roars! Fans boo but Orange is back up! And Sonny Kiss rushes out there! Kiss did just lose to Parker, so- Kiss LOW BLOWS Cassidy!?!? And then Parker gives Orange the SLAM!! Did Kiss just sell out to the Trustbusters!? Did that happen between now and that match earlier? Or was it all part of the plan?
A great episode to close out the first Quake by the Lake event, with some surprising developments here. While Parker Boudreaux didn’t really change his moveset up from when he was Harland in NXT, he of course wins here tonight in a squash. Then we got an awesome main event out of Cassidy VS Daivari, even with Best Friends and the Trustbusters ringside. I was a touch surprised Cassidy won, but then that brawl at the end with Kiss swerving and turning Heel was a great way for Trustbusters to stand tall here. The go-home math is now a wash, but I would think Best Friends win to advance in the trios tournament.
Speaking of that tournament, great promo from the LFI and extended faction, as well as from Keith & Swerve. A title match between Keith & Swerve VS Private Party is going to be awesome, but I would think the champions retain the titles. Private Party going after LFI would be great to turn Private Party Face. Good promo from Lucha Bros to hype up their Trios Championship tournament match, and I would think Death Triangle beats The United Empire, pinning one of Aussie Open. And their promo implies that no matter who the third man is for the Young Bucks, LFI advances. AKA it’ll be Brandon Cutler because the Bucks have no one else, and he takes the pin.
Really fun match from Gunn Club and Beardhausen, but rather surprising that Gunn Club won. Billy is really ripping into his own sons, I have a feeling he just pushes them into joining Stokely’s stable. Stokely’s got Ethan Page, he’s got Lee Moriarty, he needs a tag team before can start taking over AEW properly, and it could be Gunn Club. Great promo segment from Hook and Zack Clayton, and this is a great opportunity for Clayton to move up in the world. The Mixed Tag Championship match was a great opening match, and while Dante & Skye looked great, I figured SamTay would win to retain.
And we got a great promo from Bryan and Garcia to open the whole show, and I am so happy Bryan is taking this story the way I was hoping. Daniel Garcia is definitely more a BCC guy than a JAS guy, so I hope the best two outta three falls match starts getting Garcia to consider his position in the feud. There’s a lot that Garcia can bring into the BCC, from both a moment of dysfunction since he battled Yuta for the ROH Pure Championship and was insufferable to the other BCC members, to more fire in the faction because they can get even more titles now. I can’t wait to see where this goes next.
My Score: 8.7/10
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