The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 13
FINALLY! The Second HPW Triforce Tournament reaches the Bracket finals! Who will take the Triforces of Power, Wisdom and Courage this year?
- Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge: Gold Lynel VS Humbirdo Carito; Lynel wins and retains the title.
- HPW Trios Championship #1 Contender’s No Holds Barred match: The Dark Forces VS uWo; uWo wins and will challenge Forged By Violence at Triforce Anniversary.
- Bracket of Wisdom Finals: Hilda VS Cia; Hilda wins and advances to the Triforce Anniversary.
- Bracket of Courage Finals: Ravio VS Ghirahim; Ravio wins and advances to the Triforce Anniversary.
- Bracket of Power Finals: Yuga VS Ganondorf; Yuga wins and advances to the Triforce Anniversary.
PLAY BY PLAY
Here is the updated tournament bracket!
HPW and HXS TV set the scene!
A tradition is being built before our very eyes! The Second Triforce Tournament is into the third round, and the Bracket Finals have returned! Ganondorf is going for history all over again as he’s made it back to the end of the Bracket of Power! But the Artist, Yuga, stands in his way! Yuga himself has found ways to get around bigger and stronger opponents, will he have a trick up his sleeve for the Gerudo Ace? “Her Grace” Hilda and the Dark Sorceress each had intense showdowns in the second round, and now collide to follow in Zelda’s footsteps! And in quite the twist, Ravio was the first person to get a bye in the second round to be in the finals! Will that time off help or hurt him against the determined and vicious Living Blade?
Plus, as announced just over 10 days ago, the HPW Trios Champions will know who their next challengers are! While the Dark Forces look to settle things with the newly formed uWo, they will also be battling for a shot at Forged By Violence! Can Volga contain his fury so that he, Gibdo and Wizzro can go for gold? HPW in Necluda Ash Swamp begins now!
Gold Lynel is here?!
Well this is unexpected! The Death Mountain Champion is not part of the tournament so why is he going to the ring? He asks for a mic and is given one so that he can speak. “HPW Management is rather lazy, aren’t they? They sure drag their feet, don’t they? I’ve had this title for two whole months, and yet they haven’t given me a single challenger to face. Well, I’m going to take the initiative now! I dare anyone to step out on stage and challenge me for this title!” Fans are shocked to see this boldness, but he wouldn’t be the One True Monster if he was willing to sit around and do nothing! A call comes in, and despite Lynel’s attitude, management is approving this match!
So who answers Lynel’s challenge? HUMBIRDO CARITO! The young high-flyer wants to climb Death Mountain, but will he be grounded then ground into dust?
Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge: Gold Lynel VS Humbirdo Carito!
The introductions were already given so the belt is raised, and this surprise title match kicks off things in Necluda!
Carito slowly approaches Lynel, but Lynel stays put. Lynel puts his hands up in a stance, Carito calls for a knuckle lock and Lynel follows. They tie up, Carito wrenches an arm and then hooks a leg, but Lynel resists being dragged down. Lynel powers up and throws Carito off with that one arm! Carito rolls back to his feet and is wary again. Fans rally up behind Carito as he approaches again. Carito and Lynel tie up, Carito wrenches the other arm this time and pulls on the fingers! Lynel gets mad and he throws Carito again! Carito gets up again, Lynel storms over but Carito gets around and KICKS a leg! Lynel barely flinches, and then he glares as he and Carito circle.
Carito avoids Lynels grip, gives him more kicks to the leg, but Lynel just gets angrier. Lynel corners Carito, but Carito slips out to the apron and swing kicks Lynel in the arm! Lynel still grabs at Carito but Carito slides under, goes around the way, goes up the corner and leaps over Lynel’s horse back! Carito rolls and runs, he slides under Lynel’s boot, and then slips around to the horse back and knees it in the side! Lynel swings a back hand, Carito gets under it, and then Carito runs to springboard and crossbody! But Lynel catches Carito and then POWERSLAMS Carito down! Cover, TWO!! Carito survives and Lynel chuckles while nodding. Perhaps he respects Carito’s toughness.
Lynel drags Carito back up, pats his head, then pushes him to ropes! Lynel scoops Carito but Carito slips out! Carito sits on Lynel’s horse back, but Lynel starts bucking like a bronco! Carito holds on, and fans start counting! Carito only makes it to 5, not the full 8 second ride! Carito flounders up, avoids the clothesline and then runs! Carito comes back, tilt-o-whirls, but Lynel blocks the DDT! Lynel throws Carito, Carito lands on his feet, and Carito dropkicks! Lynel stays up! Carito hurries up, throws hands, Lynel counter punches then push-kicks Carito away! Lynel mule kicks Carito on the rebound, then gut wrenches him up, for a SIT-OUT BOMB! Cover, Lynel wins!
Winner: Gold Lynel, by pinfall (still HPW Death Mountain Champion)
The One True Monster makes quick work of the courageous Carito and retains the title! Will this motivate management to give him more challengers? Or will this scare everyone off from the Death Mountain title completely?
HPW Trios Championship #1 Contender’s No Holds Barred match: The Dark Forces VS uWo!
Back to our regularly scheduled programming, this grudge match was created because of the back and forth between these two factions ever since October’s Clash of Fates! ReDead sold out to join Death Sword and Gomess, and now they could be on their way towards the titles! Or will Wizzro returning to the ring as a wrestler and not just a manager help Gibdo and Volga get revenge?
The Dark Forces enter first, but they don’t leave the ring as the uWo make their entrance. “Hollywood” ReDead leads the way with his newfound swagger, but then Volga runs and FLIES out onto all three of them! Direct hit and he bowls all three of them over! Fans fire up but the ref reprimands as Volga drags ReDead up and puts him in the ring! The Dark Forces surround ReDead as he gets up. ReDead looks at each of them, the bell rings, and then they swarm! Fans chant “You Deserve It!” at ReDead as The Dark Forces punch and kick him 3v1! They get him down and start stomping, but then Gomess and Death Sword get in! Gomess DECKS Gibdo while Death Sword BOOTS Wizzro!
Gomess throws Gibdo out and Death Sword CHOKE SLAMS Wizzro! ReDead throws hands on Volga now that it’s 1v1, then whip him. Volga dodges ReDead, springboards and hits a FLYING CHUCK! Gomess rushes Volga, Volga dodges, but Death Sword catches him to a choke grip! Death Sword lifts, Volga flips through the slam, then SOBATS him away! Gomess runs back over and tackles Volga into a corner! Gibdo returns, waistlocks Gomess and GERMAN SUPLEXES him away! The Dark Forces regroup as Wizzro crawls over, and they rush the uWo! Volga SUPERKICKS Death Sword, Gibdo CLOBBERS Gomess and Wizzro dropkicks one of ReDead’s legs!
ReDead hobbles, Wizzro throws hands and Gibdo helps out. Gibdo CLUBS ReDead, brings him around, and puts him in a standing cobra twist! Wizzro goes to the apron, holds Gibdo’s hand to add leverage, then Volga holds Wizzro’s other hand while also grabbing railing! The Dark Forces create a chain to add onto the stretch! ReDead can only endure because this is No Holds Barred! But Gomess comes in from around the way and CLOBBERS Volga! Wizzro leaps onto Gomess but Gomess catches him, to RAM him into the apron! ReDead is still stuck in the cobra twist, though! Death Sword grabs Gibdo by the head and HEADBUTTS him, freeing ReDead in the process.
ReDead angrily stomps Gibdo down. “Why are you still with them?! Don’t you get that they don’t respect you!?” ReDead tells Gibdo he can join the uWo and be part of HPW’s future! ReDead holds out his hand, Gibdo stares at it, and fans duel between “YES! YES!” and “NO! NO!” Gibdo sits up, reaches back, but slaps the hand away! He then gets up to fireman’s carry ReDead! Gibdo starts spinning, and ReDead’s boots hit Death Sword! Gibdo keeps spinning, then slows down for a GORON DROP! Cover, but Gomess breaks it! Gomess hammers away on Gibdo, Death Sword sees Wizzro on the apron and DECKS him!
Gomess double chicken wings Gibdo, Death Sword storms over and mugs Gibdo with body shots. Death Sword headbutts Gibdo again, then Gomess hits a TIGER SUPLEX! Bridging cover, but Volga barrels into Death Sword, and they fall on the cover! Fans fire up as Volga rains down fists on Death Sword, then stomps him! Volga stomps Gomess, too, but ReDead waistlocks him! Volga resists the lift, elbows ReDead over and over, then standing switches. ReDead resists the lift now, backs Volga into a corner, but Wizzro is back! And he is using CAMERA CORD to choke ReDead!! The ref reprimands but that’s about all he can do!
Volga slips out from behind ReDead and throws body shots as Wizzro keeps choking him! Death Sword storms over, Volga elbows him away, CHOPS ReDead, then CHOPS Death Sword. Death Sword laughs that off before he throws a palm strike SLAP! Volga staggers, Death Sword feeds him to Gomess’ DANGEROUS SAIDO! But Gibdo CLOBBERS Gomess! Death Sword grabs Gibdo and chokes him with both hands! Death Sword shouts at Wizzro to stop choking ReDead! Wizzro shots back that he will, only if Death Sword stops choking Gibdo! The two of them agree to let go at the same time, but then hesitate because they don’t trust the other.
Death Sword and Wizzro shout at each other to let go, and then they both count. On three, they both go. But ReDead DECKS Wizzro and Gibdo throat chops Death Sword! ReDead and Gibdo head for each other and start throwing hands! Fans fire up as they go fast and furious! ReDead gets the edge, backs Gibdo down, but Gibdo blocks the whip by holding ropes! Gibdo breaks free, ROCKS ReDead with an uppercut, then ROLLING ELBOW! Gomess clotheslines Gibdo out of the ring! Volga SUPERKICKS Gomess! Volga whips, Gomess reverses but Volga comes back with a SLINGBLADE! Death Sword BLINDSIDES Volga! Wizzro SMACKS Death Sword with a kendo stick!
Wizzro fires off on Death Sword with the stick and fans fire up! He smacks and smacks and smacks, breaking the kendo stick! Wizzro tosses the stick away and stomps away on Death Sword now! Gibdo is getting up on the outside, and he starts looking under the ring. Fans sing “Nana nana, nana nana, nana nana, nana nana… NA NA NA NAAA~!” Gibdo brings out chairs! Lots and lots of chairs! He puts them all in the ring, Wizzro gathers them, and Volga gets up to help out. The Dark Forces drag Death Sword up, put him in a corner, then hoist him up onto the top rope. Wizzro makes sure the chair pile is in the right spot as Volga and Gibdo climb up.
ReDead is up again, and he grabs Wizzro! Gomess attacks Gibdo and Volga at the corner while ReDead pops Wizzro up for a GUTBUSTER! ReDead shifts to a facelock and suplexes Wizzro onto the chair pile! It was a little double-edged, but ReDead drags Wizzro out of the ring as he exits. Gomess drags Volga away from the corner in a sleeper hold! Gomess adds body scissors as he drags Volga down to the mat! Volga can only watch as Death Sword fights Gibdo, then slips down and brings Gibdo up for a POWERBOMB onto the chair pile!! Cover, the UnderWorld Order wins!!
Winners: The uWo, by pinfall (NEW HPW Trios Championships #1 Contenders)
They have the win, but Gomess doesn’t let go of Volga and ReDead is still clubbing away on Wizzro’s back! Death Sword just looms over Gibdo while the ref tries to get Gomess to let Volga go! Other officials rush out to stop ReDead, but he tosses Wizzro over the commentary desk! Volga fades out, Gomess finally lets go! The uWo regroup around Death Sworld as he still stands over Gibdo. ReDead kneels down and again tells Gibdo, “You can join us. You can be part of wrestling’s future.” ReDead stands back up, the uWo leave, but will Gibdo take his former friend up on that offer? Will Forged By Violence be ready for a war with the UnderWorld Order?
Bracket of Wisdom Finals: Hilda VS Cia!
Her Grace defeated Master Kohga and Osphala, but perhaps with some help? Someone had to slip her those bananas and cause those technical malfunctions. And usually it’s the Dark Sorceress using tricks and misdirection. Who will pull a fast one on the other first and move to the Triforce Anniversary?
As Cia enters the ring, Hilda mockingly asks what happened to Cia’s friends. Cia gets angry right away but Hilda stays in a corner and referee Maron keeps Cia back. Maron signals, the bell rings, and Cia rushes Hilda! Hilda gets in between the ropes for defense, and Maron again has to keep Cia back. Hilda goes out to the apron and sarcastically says, “Wow!” Maron tells Hilda to get back in the ring, but Hilda is bratty about it. She wants Cia to stay back, and Cia reluctantly goes to a corner while Hilda steps back in. Hilda and Cia finally circle and fans rally up.
Cia and Hilda approach, tie up, are in a deadlock, and then they break. Hilda smirks but Cia snarls and they tie up again. Cia pulls Hilda’s hair and brings her to ropes! Maron reprimands, but then Hilda pulls Cia’s hair! Maron reprimands them both as the two go around like that! She tells them to let go, starts to count, and both women let go of the other’s hair at 4. But Hilda pie faces Cia! Cia’s anger builds and she rushes Hilda, but Hilda baits her towards ropes! Hilda holds ropes down and dumps Cia out, then aims, to slingshot and RANA! Cia is sent into barriers and fans fire up! Hilda gets up, soaks up both cheers and jeers, then throws Cia down by her hair!
Hilda soaks up the heat from the fans while Maron reprimands. Hilda drags Cia up, puts her in the ring, then takes her time soaking in more cheers and jeers before going in. Cia crawls, Hilda stands over her and stomps her down! Hilda drags Cia up by her hair, Maron reprimands, but Hilda wraps on a dragon sleeper, for an inverted suplex! Hilda hooks up Cia’s arms and adds a chinlock, for the CAMEL CLUTCH! Her Grace may be of the new generation but she’s bringing back a classic hold! Fans rally as Cia endures and Hilda pulls back! Cia gets an arm free, and manages to get her legs under her! Cia powers up and pushes up, only for Hilda to CLUB her!
Hilda whips Cia into a corner, runs in and hits a forearm smash! Hilda goes side to side, and hits another forearm smash! Then side to side the other way, for a running CHOP! Hilda stomps Cia down, digs her boots in, but lets off as Maron counts. Hilda stomps Cia a couple more times, then runs corner to corner to come back, and slides to a stop right in front of Cia! To SLAP her! Hilda shows no respect to the former HPW Goddess Champion! Hilda drags Cia back up, wrenches an arm, hammerlocks then facelocks, but Cia powers Hilda into ropes! Maron calls for the ropebreak, starts to count, but Hilda lets go fast. Cia slowly backs up, and SLAPS Hilda back! The feeling is mutual!
Hilda gets mad, Cia eggs her on, and the two star throwing hands! Fans fire up as they go fast and furious! Cia kicks low, front kicks, then whips Hilda to a corner. Cia runs in, Hilda puts up a boot and STOMPS Cia down! Hilda drags Cia back, sits her up, but Cia knows she’s after Her Royal Highness’ Matched Luggage! Cia gets Hilda’s leg, drags her down, and clubs away on Hilda’s back! Cia stomps Hilda more, then runs to LYNEL-SAULT onto Hilda’s back! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up but Cia grows frustrated. Cia grabs Hilda’s legs, drags her back, and works to turn her over, but Hilda resists! Hilda pushes Cia away, then kips up to jump and sunset flip! Cover, TWO!
Cia runs at Hilda but Hilda dodges to run. Hilda ducks the back elbow, springboards and crossbodies! She bounces off the cover but keeps moving to handspring MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Hilda gets right on Cia with a facelock and drags her up, but Cia throws body shots. Cia wrenches out to a wristlock, throws elbows into Hilda’s shoulder, then steps over to throw Hilda down for an ARMBAR! Hilda clasps hands to resist, reaches with a leg, but Cia pries at the fingers! Cia gets the hands free! But Hilda scrambles and gets a ropebreak with a foot! Cia holds on until Maron counts 4, and Hilda bails out of the ring.
Maron tells Cia to stay in but Cia refuses and she chases after Hilda. There’s a bit of cat ‘n’ mouse as Hilda goes around the corner, goes in the ring only to go right back out, and then goes back around. Cia is getting angrier as they go closer to commentary. Commentary tells them to stay away but Hilda hides behind Rusl! Cia clambers over the desk to get at her! Hilda runs away to the ring, Cia scrambles back that way, but Cia anticipates Hilda dropping the elbow! Cia avoids that and Hilda clutches her arm, and then Cia is right after it! Hilda scrambles to avoid Cia going right to the Black Magic Crossface!
Cia drags Hilda from ropes, drops a leg on the arm, then shifts to trap the arm. She reaches for the other arm but Hilda keeps moving around. Cia hammers Hilda’s back, grabs the arm, and SNAPS the arm back! Cia did this to Zelda last year! Hilda clutches the arm while she flails and shouts in pain! Maron checks on Hilda as she goes to a corner, but Hilda refuses to let this end the match. Hilda clutches the bad arm as she stands up in the corner, and Cia runs in to KNEE her down! Cia drags Hilda to a cover, TWO! Hilda gets to ropes, Cia goes after her, but Hilda holds the ropes with her good arm and a leg. Maron counts, Cia lets off at 4, but then Cia KICKS the bad arm!
Hilda scrambles along the ropes in pain, Cia follows after, but Maron wants to check with Hilda again. Hilda gets to a corner, Maron backs Cia off, and Hilda slips out of the ring. Maron wants Hilda to stay put, but Hilda… Goes under the ring? Cia and Maron are both confused, but Cia goes out after her. Maron follows and tells Cia to get back in the ring, but then Hilda’s entrance music starts playing! She can’t be re-entering, she’s still under the ring! Maron is confused and she looks to commentary and the timekeeper, but no one has any idea what’s happening. Cia looks under the ring, but Hilda’s crawling out from the opposite side! But then something blasts Cia! Is that fire extinguisher spray?!
Cia screams in pain as her eyes sting and burn! Hilda shrugs, she has no idea what happened. Is that true or is she playing dumb? Hilda gets in the ring, Maron checks on Cia, and medics get Cia water to wash out those eyes. Cia blinks, she can see, and she gets back in the ring, just as stubbornly determined to finish this match! Hilda runs in and bicycle BOOTS Cia down!! Hilda shakes out the bad arm before she drags Cia to a drop zone. Hilda goes up the corner, aims, and 450 SPLASHES! Cover, Hilda wins!!
Winner: Hilda, by pinfall (advances to the Triforce Anniversary)
What a turn of events! Another entrance music mishap, then someone shoots fire extinguisher chemicals at Cia! But without evidence Hilda is behind this, there’s nothing to say she cheated! But as the first one into the Triforce Anniversary Triple Threat, will this conspiracy be able to screw over two opponents at once?
Bracket of Courage Finals: Ravio VS Ghirahim!
#Murusagi must have rabbit’s feet, because he got very lucky. Volga and ReDead cost each other last round and he’s here without breaking a sweat! But perhaps the Living Blade will make him shed blood, sweat and tears before eliminating him from the bracket?
As Ravio enters, Ghirahim tells referee Tiger Sahasrahla to check him thoroughly. Ravio doesn’t understand why but Ghirahim says that he watched Ravio’s only other match and how he squirted that oily stuff everywhere! Ravio pretends to have no idea what Ghirahim’s talking about but even with that bunny mask, he doesn’t have the best poker face. Sahasrahla checks Ravio, and yep! There’s a bottle of body oil with little rabbit ears on it, tucked into Ravio’s waistband! Sahasrahla confiscates that, Ghirahim has a smug look on his face, and Ravio is worried now as the bell rings!
Fans chant, “You Suck, Ghirahim, You Suck!” *clap clap* but Ghirahim shouts at them to shut up! “At least I didn’t cheat to win!” Ravio and Ghirahim circle, tie up, and Ghirahim powers Ravio to ropes. Sahasrahla calls for the break, counts, and Ghirahim lets off at 4. Ghirahim shows a chop but that’s a feint, and he laughs as Ravio covers up. Ghirahim waits for Ravio to relax and he pie faces him! Ravio keeps his cool and he circles with Ghirahim again. They tie up, Ravio gets around to waistlock, Ghirahim pries the hold, wrenches out and has a wristlock. Ravio rolls, but Ghirahim grabs the bunny ears to throw him down! Sahasrahla reprimands but Ravio kips up!
Ghirahim grabs the bunny ears again, Sahasrahla reprimands again. Ravio throws body shots, wrenches to a wristlock of his own, but Ghirahim ROCKS him with a forearm! Ravio still holds on, wrenches again, but Ghirahim throws another forearm! Ghirahim wrenches back, grinds the shoulder and brings Ravio to the mat. Ravio endures, fans rally up, and Ravio rolls, spins, gets the arm and WRINGS Ghirahim out! Ghirahim staggers up, Ravio fires off furious fists at the ropes but Sahasrahla counts. Ravio lets off to run, but Ghirahim sends him out to the apron. Ravio counter punches Ghirahim, steps in and hits a TORNADO COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, TWO!
Ravio stomps away on Ghirahim, then runs. Ghirahim avoids the leaping elbow drop! And PENALTY KICKS Ravio down! Cover, TWO! Ghirahim seethes, drags Ravio up into a dragon sleeper, and inverted suplexes! Ghirahim holds on and rolls back to a dragon sleeper stretch! Ravio endures, reaches out with his hands, then his feet. Ghirahim drags Ravio away from the ropes, but Ravio gets his feet under him and pushes back! Ravio turns the dragon sleeper into a cover, TWO and Ghirahim lets Ravio go! Ghirahim swings but Ravio ducks, then comes back to hurdle over Ghirahim, and tilt-o-whirls to headscissor Ghirahim away!
Ghirahim ends up in a corner, Ravio runs in, but Ghirahim moves as Ravio leaps! Ravio lands safe on the second rope but Ghirahim mule kicks the legs out! Ravio gets stuck in the ropes, Ghirahim drags him out in a dragon sleeper, DRAPING INVERTED DDT! Cover, TWO!! Ravio barely kicks out in time, and now he flops out of the ring! Ghirahim hurries out after, then RAMS him into barriers! And RAMS him into the apron! And then RAMS him back into the barriers! Sahasrahla tells Ghirahim to get back in the ring, but Ghirahim brings Ravio around to POST him! Ghirahim puts Ravio back in the ring, drags him to a cover, TWO! Ghirahim grows annoyed but fans rally up.
Ravio sits up and Ghirahim KICKS him in the back! Ghirahim drags Ravio back up, CHOPS him against the ropes, then CHOPS him in the corner. Ghirahim whips Ravio corner to corner hard! Ravio bounces off buckles and hits the mat, then staggers up into Ghirahim’s CHOP! Ravio staggers and falls into the corner, Ghirahim stomps him, then digs his boots in! Sahasrahla counts, Ghirahim stops at 4 and drags Ravio up to whip him corner to corner hard again! Ravio is down again but Ghirahim takes his time walking back over. Ghirahim stands on Ravio’s head and tells him he doesn’t belong in the finals, he’s only here because of “dumb luck.”
Fans boo Ghirahim but he tells them to shut up again. Ghirahim digs his heel into Ravio’s head, but stops as Sahasrahla reprimands. Ghirahim gives toying kicks to Ravio, then KICKS him in the side! Ravio crawls but Ghirahim stomps him down. Ghirahim puts Ravio on the ropes and chokes him! Sahasrahla counts, fans boo, but Ghirahim lets off at 4. Ghirahim grabs Ravio’s legs but Ravio holds onto the ropes. Sahasrahla counts, Ghirahim lets go right away, but Ravio kicks him in the leg! Ghirahim gets angry and he stomps away on Ravio again! Sahasrahla counts, Ghirahim tells him to shut up and then stomps Ravio more.
Sahasrahla backs Ghirahim off, they argue, and Ravio slides out of the ring. Ghirahim sees that, Sahasrahla tells him to stay in the ring but Ghirahim refuses. Ghirahim goes out and pursues Ravio, clobbers him from behind, then pushes him into barriers again! Sahasrahla reprimands, Ghirahim hammers away on Ravio’s head against the barriers, and Sahasrahla starts a ring count. Ghirahim lets off to throw Ravio down by his mask again. Ghirahim stomps away on Ravio again, then goes into the ring at 4 of 10. Ghirahim goes back out, drags Ravio up and says he’s “not getting off that easy!” Ghirahim bumps Ravio off the announce desk then puts him back in the ring.
Fans rally for Ravio but Ghirahim watches as he slowly rises. Ghirahim runs to the ropes, but Ravio drops down to his knees! Ghirahim awkwardly aborts the springboard, and Ravio is… begging?! He begs Ghirahim for mercy! Ghirahim is a bit surprised, but starts to think Ravio understands his place. Ravio nods and says he does. Ravio is lying down on his back! He’s telling Ghirahim to cover him? Ghirahim walks over, but then he stops. Ravio’s just setting him up, isn’t he?! Ravio sits up and swears he’s not tricking Ghirahim! Ghirahim KICKS Ravio down! Ravio sits back up and still tries to claim innocence but Ghirahim KICKS him again!
Ravio sits up again, he ducks the kick this time, and he rolls Ghirahim up! TWO, Ghirahim swings but Ravio ducks and gets around him. Ravio waistlocks, Ghirahim resists the lift, elbows free, then runs, only for Ravio to follow! O’Conner roll with a bridge! TWO, and Ravio scrambles to the apron! Ghirahim grabs Ravio and drags him in, but Ravio is holding the apron skirt! Sahasrahla reprimands and counts, Ravio lets go of the skirt at 4, and while Sahasrahla is busy with the skirt, Ravio rakes Ghirahim’s eyes! Ravio kicks Ghirahim’s legs out, then runs to hit the RABBIT KNEES! Cover, RAVIO WINS!!
Winner: Ravio, by pinfall (advances to the Triforce Anniversary)
Murusagi didn’t have a trick up his sleeve, or in his tights, but he still found a way to sneak a win! Ravio does a celebratory dance on his way out, but then stops when he sees Ghirahim sitting up. Ghirahim looks around for Ravio and Ravio runs away to the back as fast as he can! Will Ravio have another chance to do his dance on the Triforce Anniversary?
Bracket of Power Finals: Yuga VS Ganondorf!
The Artist has so far painted a masterpiece of outmaneuvering much more massive and muscular opponents, but he’s up against perhaps the meanest and strongest opponent possible! Will Yuga complete his work and make it to the Triforce Anniversary? Or is there no stopping the Gerudo Ace from making his mark in the history books?
The bell rings, fans boo and some even chant, “You Both Suck! You Both Suck!” Ganondorf ignores it but Yuga gets annoyed. Yuga glares at the fans while he circles with Ganondorf, and Ganondorf rushes Yuga to power him into a corner! Sahasrahla reprimands and counts, Ganondorf lets off at 4, to mule kick Yuga! Sahasrahla reprimands, Ganondorf brings Yuga out to snapmare him and KICK him in the back! Yuga writhes and fans still boo as Ganondorf looms over him. Ganondorf gives toying kicks to Yuga, Yuga gets up and starts getting angry, and he throws a big forearm! Ganondorf barely budges, and he DECKS Yuga with a forearm in return!
Yuga crawls to ropes but Ganondorf stalks behind him. Ganondorf stands on Yuga at the ropes, Sahasrahla counts and fans boo again, but Ganondorf steps off at 4. Ganondorf stomps and kicks Yuga, then has him on the ropes to choke him! Sahasrahla counts, the fans boo and Ganondorf stops at 4 again. Ganondorf taunts Yuga, “What’s wrong? Don’t you have any tricks to play on me, ya clown? Get up and fight me!” Yuga gasps and sputters while he stays under the bottom rope, so Ganondorf reaches through ropes to drag Yuga up on the apron. Ganondorf hooks Yuga’s arms on the ropes and starts clubbing away on Yuga’s chest! Sahasrahla counts, Ganondorf gets 10 hits in before the ref counts 4!
Ganondorf lets Yuga go and Yuga flops to the apron. Fans still boo as Ganondorf gives stomps to Yuga while he’s on the apron. Sahasrahla counts, Ganondorf stops at 4 yet again, and backs off to let Yuga flop off the apron. Sahasrahla starts a ring count, Yuga slowly rises and staggers up at 5. Yuga goes around the way, Ganondorf slides right out to BOOT him down! Ganondorf laughs but a lot of the fans still boo. Ganondorf drags Yuga up, puts him back in the ring, covers, TWO! Ganondorf slaps Yuga around, Yuga staggers up, and Ganondorf shoves him into a corner. Ganondorf stomps a mudhole into Yuga, Sahasrahla counts and Ganondorf lets off at 4.
Ganondorf runs corner to corner and he SPLASHES Yuga! Ganondorf whips Yuga corner to corner hard, and Yuga bounces off buckles to hit the mat! Yuga writhes and ends up in the corner, Ganondorf runs in to CANNONBALL! Cover, TWO! Yuga flounders around, Ganondorf brings him around and whips him to ropes. Yuga holds the ropes, Ganondorf storms over, Yuga boots but Ganondorf blocks it, only for Yuga to enziguri back! Ganondorf shakes that off, swings on Yuga but Yuga ducks and swings around to get a facelock! Yuga hops on to get body scissors and has a GUILLOTINE! Fans still boo as Ganondorf manages to stay up and endures the hold!
Ganondorf reaches out but Yuga cranks harder on the hold! Fans duel in the reverse, “We Hate Ganon!” “Yuga Sucks!” Ganondorf starts to fade and he drops to a knee! Sahasrahla checks on Ganondorf as Yuga pulls back as hard as he can! Ganondorf gets back up and reaches out. Yuga lets go of the body scissors, brings Ganondorf around, but Ganondorf powers up and powers Yuga away. Yuga lands on his feet, and he runs back in to RAM into Ganondorf at the ropes! Sahasrahla reprimands as Yuga throws body shots! Ganondorf CLUBS Yuga, Yuga kicks a leg out, and he goes for the guillotine again! Ganondorf pushes Yuga off to a corner, runs in but Yuga elbows him away!
Yuga goes up the corner, WHISPER IN THE WIND! Direct hit and down goes Ganondorf! Yuga hurries to go after Ganondorf’s legs, but Ganondorf powers him off the figure four! Yuga ends up back in the corner, Ganondorf somersaults and corner clotheslines him! Ganondorf whips Yuga corner to corner but Yuga goes up and over! Yuga waistlocks, O’Conner rolls, TWO! Yuga scrambles towards his corner and grabs his “magic scepter!” Sahasrahla reprimands Yuga and tells him to put the scepter down! Yuga refuses so Sahasrahla grabs it from him! But while Sahasrahla is busy giving the scepter to the timekeeper, Yuga aims a low blow at Ganondorf, but Ganondorf blocks it! Ganondorf LOW BLOWS Yuga!
Ganondorf laughs again as fans are thunderous with booing! He reels Yuga in, but Yuga drops down. Ganondorf drags Yuga back up but Yuga uses his head to LOW BLOW Ganondorf back!! Sahasrahla doesn’t realize something happened until Ganondorf doubles over. Both men are down and the fans duel again, “We Hate Ganon!” “Yuga Sucks!” Sahasrahla starts a standing count, Ganondorf uses ropes to stand up at 7. He hobbles over to Yuga and drags him up. Ganondorf clamps onto Yuga’s head with both hands and squeezes tight! Yuga endures the vice and reaches around with a leg, but Ganondorf keeps him from the ropes with another TOSS!
Ganondorf storms over and drags Yuga back up. Ganondorf uses the vice-like grip on Yuga’s head again, but Yuga grabs at Ganondorf’s face! Sahasrahla reprimands but Yuga won’t stop going after Ganondorf’s eyes! Ganondorf throws Yuga away, but into Sahasrahla! He couldn’t see because of the eye gouging and now the ref is down! Yuga hurries to the timekeeper’s area and he wants his scepter back! The timekeeper tries to stop him but Yuga pushes him aside to grab the scepter and bring it to the ring. Yuga swings at Ganondorf, but Ganondorf blocks it! Ganondorf glares at Yuga, but then the scepter goes into STROBE LIGHT MODE?!
Ganondorf lets go of the scepter, and Yuga SMACKS him on the back! Fans boo even harder and now they’re in agreement, “YUGA SUCKS! YUGA SUCKS!” Yuga puts the scepter between Ganondorf’s legs and pulls it up to LOW BLOW Ganondorf again!! Yuga tosses the scepter aside as Sahasrahla starts to get up, and Yuga pump handles Ganondorf to bring him down to a cradle! Sahasrahla counts the cover, TWO!?! Ganondorf survives and Yuga is furious! Fans are also going nuts as Ganondorf is just as furious as Yuga! Ganondorf manages to stand, he and Yuga have a glare down, and then they start throwing hands! Fans ironically fire up and start chanting, “Take Each Other Out!”
Ganondorf gets the edge on Yuga and ROCKS him with an uppercut! Ganondorf manages to run, but Yuga dodges his clothesline to run. Yuga jumps but Ganondorf catches his crossbody! Ganondorf shifts Yuga around but Yuga slips off! Yuga shoves Ganondorf to ropes, table tops him and high stacks, but he puts feet on ropes!! Sahasrahla spots that in time and stops counting! Yuga pretends to not know what’s wrong and he argues with Sahasrahla, but Ganondorf gets him in a waistlock! Yuga grabs at Sahasrahla to resist the lift, and then he MULE KICK LOW BLOWS Ganondorf!! Yuga hits a Side Leg Sweep, rolls back with Ganondorf and hooks legs with legs for the cover! YUGA WINS!!
Winner: Yuga, by pinfall (advances to the Triforce Anniversary)
The Artist cheats the Gerudo Ace out of history! And, actually, all three finalists have made it because of controversy, suspicious circumstances, and outright blatant cheating! Will Yuga, Hilda or Ravio prove to be the sliest, sneakiest, schemingest rising star in HPW?
Wait, Yuga goes over to Ganondorf’s corner, and he’s taking a look at Ganondorf’s boar headdress? Yuga seems to find something appealing about it. He’s picking up the headdress! He’s taking Ganondorf’s headdress!? Ganondorf glares but the pain below the belt is keeping him from giving chase! Yuga says something about making the headdress “a true work of art,” but what does he mean by that? Will Ganondorf be able to get revenge before we find out?
What a wild event right here! I had fun writing a Heel VS Heel match with Ganondorf and Yuga, which I originally didn’t have planned as the main event, but then I thought that Ganondorf being the star, he should get the main event spot. The other tricky part was creating three finishes that were basically cheating, but each different from the other. The April Fools HPW anniversary is going to be a lot of fun now.
Bandwagon Nerds # 74 To Binge or Not to Binge
Should streaming services do episodic television? That’s the question the Nerds try to answer this week on the Bandwagon. Patrick, Rey, Dave and PC tackle the pros and cons of a streaming service dropping entire seasons of their original programs versus dropping one episode at a time. Is there a “right” way to do it? The Bandwagon returns to the trailer park this week as tons of exciting trailers hit the nerdosphere this week! The guys continue their review of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier in an episode that was light on action, but loaded nonetheless. Finally with Wrestlemania in the rearview, the Nerds share their thoughts of Night One and their favorite Wrestlemania stories of all time.
About Bandwagon Nerds
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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (4/6/21)
The Trios Division takes a hike!
HPW has a plan for the Trios Division in May!
After the chaotic moment following the Anniversary event’s HPW Trios Championship match, a decision has been made! What is in store for champions and challengers next month?
HPW announces the May event venue!
Using their various social media outlets, HPW released a video starring newest correspondent, Agitha. “Hiyo~! I’m here in front of Hyrule Puro-Resu’s next location, The Great Hyrule Forest~! YAAAY~!”
“Spring is in the air and HPW is going enjoy the fresh greenery!” Agitha takes a deep breath in through her nose and sighs happily as she exhales through her mouth. “I love it!” This event will be on 5/15, and Agitha gives us a quick rundown of the coming May event’s match card: The HPW Triforce Championship will be on the line as Link defends against Hilda; HPW promises to find a worthy opponent for Gold Lynel to defend his HPW Death Mountain Championship; and there will be an HPW Goddess Championship #1 Contender’s match to determine Zelda’s next challenger!
“But perhaps biggest of all will be a very special contender’s match to determine the UnderWorld Order’s first challengers! It will be a Gauntlet Match inside… THE LOST WOODS!”
“Yes, the legendary, infamous and even a bit scary Lost Woods will be the location of a HUGE match to name #1 Contenders to the HPW Trios Championships!” All the teams from the brawl after the Trios Championship match at the Triforce Anniversary event will be participants! The Desert Flowers, the Three Masters, the Ikana Royal Family’s Stal-Kid, Sir Hurr & Sir Durr, the Doom Bringers, and former champions Forged By Violence will all battle for a chance at the uWo in June!
Agitha now explains the way this Lost Woods Gauntlet Match will work: The order will be determined by lottery, the two first teams will start outside the Lost Woods, and the team that scores the fall will go in to find the third entrant. Then the team to score a fall at that point goes further into the woods, takes on the fourth entrant, and again to face the fifth entrant, where the last team standing will exit the other side. “Just make sure not to get lost in the meantime~! See you then~! Bye-bye~!” Which team will have the best luck? Which team will have the strongest resolve? We’ll all find out at HPW: Lost (in the) Woods!
Another themed event and another big gimmick match are coming! The way the Lost Woods Gauntlet match works is a bit odd, a bit convoluted, but that feels like the one way to make it work. This will be a lot of fun, though, I’m sure of it.
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