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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/29/21)

This is Raw’s brutality!

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Coverage Raw 2021

One Raw champion puts out a hit, another signs a contract!

Tonight, the Raw Women’s Champion, Asuka, and Nightmare, Rhea Ripley, sign a contract to make their WrestleMania match official!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Sheamus VS Matt Riddle; Sheamus wins.
  • Braun Strowman VS Jaxson Ryker w/ Elias & Shane McMahon; Braun wins.
  • Shelton Benjamin w/ Cedric Alexander VS Bobby Lashley w/ MVP; Lashley wins.
  • AJ Styles w/ Omos VS Xavier Woods w/ Kofi Kingston; Woods wins, by disqualification.
  • Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax & Reginald VS Naomi w/ Lana; Naomi wins.
  • Drew McIntyre VS Ricochet; McIntyre wins.
  • Drew McIntyre VS Mustafa Ali; McIntyre wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Backstage interview with Drew McIntyre.

He surely knows the deal Bobby Lashley has offered the rest of the Raw roster. Yes, there’s a target on his back, and whoever can take McIntyre out before Mania, they get his spot against Lashley. So what will happen? Attacked by one person, two or three? But think before you jump him: One, is Lashley good for his offer? Two, you better be ready for an old fashion Scottish ass kicking if you try. Has McIntyre just put Lashley’s bounty hunters on notice?

 

Bobby Lashley and the Hurt Business head to the ring!

The All Mighty WWE World Champion has MVP, Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin following behind. They stand together, mics in hand as MVP says this is an official announcement from the Hurt Business. “We are less than two weeks away from WrestleMania! A spectacular two-night event where the All Mighty WWE Champion, Bobby Lashley, will walk in and out as the champion.” Lashley is currently set to face McIntyre, but allow them to make crystal clear their business proposition: If anyone takes out McIntyre before Mania, they will be rewarded a title match at Mania against Lashley.

Don’t mistake Lashley’s generosity as weakness. They just felt that McIntyre has had his opportunities. They’re trying to give someone else a chance to step up and become a star against the All Mighty! This is the opportunity of a lifetime, so who wants to step up and accept that offer? No one arrives, so MVP says here is who will not be sharing the ring with Lashley. Footage of last week’s 2v1 Handicap replays, where McIntyre defeated Alexander and Benjamin to officially ban them from ringside for Mania! Alexander and Benjamin didn’t think MVP would play that but Lashley says they had the perfect opportunity against McIntyre and couldn’t get the job done!

Don’t even get Lashley started on the Raw Tag Team Championships. They’re tarnishing Lashley’s image, which is why they stepped outside “the family.” Lashley can’t count on them for anything! Lashley worked too long and too hard to get this title, and refuses to associate himself with incompetence! MVP agrees. 2v1 Handicap against McIntyre and they failed miserably. But here’s an opportunity to speak up. Alexander asks what this is about. They could’ve done this privately and yet- Benjamin interrupts and asks if is this just to embarrass them? Lashley wouldn’t be champion without them! They toed the line, had his back, and won’t let MVP talk to him like a child.

Benjamin shoves MVP, Lashley DECKS Alexander but Benjamin THROWS Lashley!! Lashley throws his jacket off and glares at Benjamin. They throw hands, Benjamin rakes eyes but Lashley throws knees! Lashley hits a COMPLETE SHOT! Alexander gets up on the apron but gets backed down by Lashley’s glare! Lashley throws Benjamin out and then picks up his belt. MVP says they should be ashamed. Lashley tells Alexander and Benjamin that as far as they’re concerned, the Hurt Business is OVER! But the hit is still out for McIntyre, and the bounty is still up for grabs! Who will pounce on this chance and look to replace the Scottish Warrior?

 

Backstage interview with Matt Riddle.

He faces Sheamus tonight for what happened last week, but why does Riddle think Sheamus hit him with the scooter? Riddle wanted to ask questions and maybe Sheamus was having a bad day or just doesn’t have a soul. But Sheamus upset Riddle and Riddle doesn’t like being upset. It’s like having these sweet, tasty Doritos that you’ve been wanting to have all day, and before you even take a bite, BOOM! They hit the floor. Riddle then spots Titus O’Neil and scooters on over to say hey! Riddle wants to ask a question: What if you roasted a pig in the center of the ring at WrestleMania? What? Is Riddle okay? What’s he talking about?

Isn’t Titus part of the WrestleMania roast? No, no, Titus is a WrestleMania co-host, with Hulk Hogan. OH… The co-host of the roast! Bring ice cream. No, that tears Titus’ stomach up. Okay what about Mac ‘n’ Cheese? Or shrimp? Titus heads off, and Sheamus CLOBBERS Riddle!! The Fella mockingly tells the Bro, “see you out there.” Will Riddle now get payback for two cheap shots tonight?

 

Alexander and Benjamin complain to Adam Pearce.

That ingrate, Lashley, threw these two away like nothing! But Lashley wouldn’t be champion without them! He’s nothing without all of them! Benjamin will take Lashley on tonight, and if there’s something left, give him to Alexander next week! Are they sure about that? Why is he asking stupid questions? Is he protecting Lashley the same way he was protecting McIntyre? Does he have to consult with Lashley the same way he does with Roman? Does he make matches or not?! Where is Pearce’s sack?! Make a match! Alexander and Benjamin storm off, will Scrap Daddy be pressured into another high stakes decision?

 

Samoa Joe is away but MVP is on commentary for tonight!

He says that if Benjamin and Alexander showed the aggression and initiative they’ve showed tonight against McIntyre, they wouldn’t be in this situation.

 

Sheamus VS Matt Riddle!

The Celtic Warrior already didn’t like The Bro before, but after the frustrating losses, Riddle is getting on Sheamus’ last nerve. Will Sheamus make sure to put the Bro in Brogue, or rather the other way around?

The bell rings and Sheamus goes right at Riddle in a corner! The ref counts, Sheamus headlocks but Riddle gets to a waistlock. Riddle puts Sheamus in a corner, Sheamus powers out and gets Riddle down to a cover, ONE. Riddle waistlocks, Sheamus fights up and throws Riddle down to get a chinlock. Riddle fights up, goes for a Triangle but Sheamus makes it a cover, TWO! Sheamus CLUBS Riddle, puts him in a corner and throws hard body shots, then stomps Riddle down. Sheamus throws Riddle with a headlock takeover, Riddle fights but Sheamus digs his fingers into Riddle’s face. Fans rally, Riddle fights up, and Riddle throws body shots.

Riddle powers out but Sheamus runs him over! Sheamus goes to run but Riddle anchors a foot. Sheamus stomps Riddle, runs but into a leap! Riddle gets around to a sleeper and body scissors! Sheamus rolls but he can’t throw Riddle off! Riddle squeezes tight, Sheamus fights up, and Sheamus puts Riddle in a corner. The ref counts for them to break, Sheamus gets a string of back elbows in! The ref backs Sheamus off, but Sheamus drags Riddle up to CLOBBER him! Sheamus stomps Riddle, stands him up, and CLUBS him back down. Sheamus CLUBS riddle again, Riddle hits back! They brawl back and forth, Sheamus ROCKS Riddle then whips him. Riddle kicks back! And kicks again!

Riddle hits a KNEE! Sheamus is in ropes, Riddle dropkicks him out to the floor! Riddle keeps moving, goes up and out and PENALTY KICKS from the apron! Then he SPRINGBOARD FLOATING BROS! Both men are down on the outside as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Sheamus has Riddle down with fish hooks in the mouth! Sheamus lets off and stomps Riddle down. Sheamus brings Riddle up to throw haymakers but Riddle gives them back! They brawl again, Riddle gets the edge with forearms and palm strikes! Riddle runs but Sheamus scoops for a BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Sheamus is annoyed but he CLUBS Riddle back down! Sheamus drags Riddle up, reels him in to CLUB him in the back, then CLUB him down again! “You’re a disgrace to that title! You hear me?!” Sheamus fireman’s carries Riddle to the ropes but Riddle counters to a gut wrench! Sheamus fights the bomb off, turns around, and boots Riddle away!

Sheamus adjusts, Riddle comes back with a forearm and a CHOP! Riddle climbs up, brings Sheamus up, but Sheamus hits back and shoves him down! But Riddle is right back up! SUPER BELLY2BELLY!! Both men are down and MVP says that’s one of those moves where you can’t be sure who got the worst of it. Riddle and Sheamus slowly sit up, Sheamus stands first but Riddle eggs him on. Riddle fires off more fast hands, boots then spins Sheamus for the PELE! Sheamus staggers to a corner. Riddle kips up and runs in to forearm smash! Then side to side for another! BROSPLODER! Riddle aims and fires off Bro Kicks!

The ref has Riddle let off at the ropes, but Sheamus catches Riddle to Alabama lift! Riddle sunset flips, Sheamus rolls through, PENALTY KICK and BROTON! Cover, TWO!! TRIANGLE HOLD! Sheamus flails, make sit a cover, TWO, to a dead lift POWERBOMB! But Riddle still has the Triangle Hold! Sheamus reaches, drags himself over, ROPEBREAK! Riddle lets go at 4, heads over but Sheamus ROCKS him! Riddle kicks but Sheamus catches it to drag him up and over, APRON WHITE NOISE!! Cover, TWO!??! Sheamus can’t believe Riddle survived! Sheamus hurries to Alabama lift and ALABAMA SLAM! Cover, TWO?!!? Riddle is still in this and Sheamus is stunned!

Sheamus gets up, aims from a corner, pounds his chest but Riddle hits a FINAL FLASH! Inside cradle, TWO!! Sheamus blocks Riddle’s knee to KNEE him back! Cover, Sheamus wins!!

Winner: Sheamus, by pinfall

The Fella just pinned the United States Champion! He gloats but Riddle dumps him out! Riddle is still furious, and vows Sheamus will get what’s coming to him! Will Riddle be watching for Sheamus after all the sucker punches and cheap shots?

 

Shane McMahon walks with Elias and Jaxson Ryker backstage.

Kevin Patrick comes by to ask Shane what he plans to reveal in his “exposé” of Braun Strowman tonight. No, but he appreciates Kevin being a good reporter. Know that we’re going to learn some very interesting things about Braun. Enlightening, even. Shane O’Mac, The Drifter and the follower head to the ring to reveal those very things!

 

Drew McIntyre encounters AJ Styles and Omos.

There’s not a chance he’s turning his back on these two. Lashley’s offer is not one they can refuse. Wow, Lashley’s gotten into McIntyre’s head. Unlike McIntyre, these two have bigger plans for Mania. They’re a lot more realistic. Styles would love to see Omos smack McIntyre off the ground, but these two will embarrass the New Day and become the NEW Raw, Tag, Team, CHAMPIONS~! Plus, Styles has to be ready for his match with Xavier Woods. But surely their paths will cross again. Fine. McIntyre shouts to the shadows to dare anyone to take Lashley up on that offer! Will there be any takers?

 

Shane, Elias and Ryker are in the ring.

Though he’ll face the Monster Among Men on Night One of WrestleMania, Shane is here to address the elephant in the room, and he doesn’t mean Braun. No, he means the accusations that given his amazing athletics last week, his leg injury was a lie. Now those who think that don’t know anatomy, physiology, kinesiology, or adrenaline. Adrenaline was what gave him the pain relief that helped him get away and not be further injured. Shane is now 100% and will defeat Braun in the middle of the ring at WrestleMania.

Now, Shane has been doing some homework, and something he’s discovered is something that goes way back. One thing was very interesting and it gave him insight into “young B-B-B-Braun.” Going back to Braun’s Fifth Grade report card, he got STRAIGHT D’S! From Social Studies to Math to English and even GYM! Though maybe that’s a bit harsh. The letter grade is one thing, but these teacher comments are another. Braun is disruptive, instigating fights, aka a bully. He has a lack of basic problem solving skills and looked to be held back. He fell behind his classmates and needed summer school. Doesn’t seem like Braun’s improved over any of these.

In summation, a picture is worth a thousand words. Therefore, the last image is Braun in a dunce cap, and “2+2 = 5 I’M NOT STUPID!”  Elias starts to feel bad for Braun. Ryker get sit, though. It is cliché, but true: big guy, tiny brain. Shane knows he will outwit Braun, as will Ryker here tonight. But at the end, maybe what Braun needs is a “big ol’ warm hug from all of us.” They will give it to B-B-B-Braun. But BRAAAUN~ makes his entrance and Shane looks worried, because there’s a good chance someone’s gonna #GetTheseHands!

Braun Strowman VS Jaxson Ryker w/ Elias & Shane McMahon!

Raw returns, the bell rings and Braun shoves Ryker down, drags him up then TOSSES him across the way! And TOSSES him again! Braun goes out and starts the Strowman Express! Shane runs away, Braun goes into the ring, and he choke grips Ryker to power him to a corner! Braun fires off heavy hands, big elbows, and brings Ryker up to HEADBUTT him down! Elias distracts Braun, then Shane distracts the ref! Braun runs them both off but Ryker attacks! Ryker fires off hands, Braun puts him in a corner but Ryker boots back! Ryker runs and chop blocks a leg out! Ryker keeps going, BULLDOG!

Ryker fires up, goes up the corner and wants Braun to stand! Ryker leaps, ax handles Braun, but Braun comes back to BOOT him down! Ryker bails out, Braun goes out, and the Strowman Express starts down the track to CLOBBER Ryker! Braun puts Ryker in, storms after him and runs in to SPLASH! Braun shouts, “This is your fate, Shane! You made this bed, and you’re gonna lay in it at WrestleMania!” Scoop and MONSTER SLAM!! Cover, Braun wins!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by pinfall

And the chase is on again! Shane runs away, Elias hurries after Braun and KNEES Him down! Elias and Shane attack 2v1, stomping and dropping knees! Braun EXPLODES out! Shane runs away, but Braun gets a mic! “Where’re you running off to, Shane? You think I forgot? You accepted my challenge for a match at WrestleMania. Maybe you forgot you told me I could pick any match that I wanted.”

And Braun’s been thinking and has made up his mind. They’re going to have a match where the goons can’t get involved in, and where they’ll end these weeks and weeks of Shane running for his life! “There’s nowhere to run, there’s nowhere to hide. At WrestleMania, you’re gonna Get These Hands in a STEEL CAGE MATCH!” Shane’s bullying has finally come back to haunt him! Will Shane survive being inside the steel with the Monster?

 

Raw presents an all new Dirt Sheet!

The Miz and John Morrison are already in the ring, dressed for the red carpet that isn’t there, and give their introductions. If you’re wondering why Morrison’s hair is so high, it’s because it’s full of secrets. But it’s no secret that The Miz is the Most Must-See WWE Superstar. Tonight might be the most anticipated episode of the Dirt Sheet ever as #JohnnyDripDrip and MC M I Z have the world premiere of “Hey Hey, Hop Hop,” the hottest beat to drop since Despacito and Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems! Just call him Notorious M I Z. Is that the VMA’s calling?

“Hey, John, do you know who was nominated for a VMA last year?” “Bad Bunny.” “Correct. And do you know who didn’t win a VMA last year?” “Bad Bunny.” “Correct!” He won a Grammy, though. That’s not how this gag works. It goes, “Hey, John. Do you know who is going to lose to me at WrestleMania?” “Bad Bunny.” COOOOOORRECT. And speaking of, Miz will address last week. He thought he made it absolutely clear that Bunny doesn’t belong here when he smacked him with a guitar. Miz thought he solidified his stance when he challenged Bunny to this Mania match. But then Bunny accepts? And then has the cajones to return the favor and hit MIZ in the back?!

Miz gets it, it’s tit for tat, but Miz was trying to teach Bunny a lesson while Bunny was trying to hurt Miz! He’s got some bold cotton balls. This is far from over! Miz promises to pay back Bunny at Mania for every ounce of ridicule, every shred of disrespect and every splinter of wood that was in his back. Didn’t Bunny also call Miz- Yes, but let’s focus on the positives! Such as Miz being the only TWO-TIME Grand Slam Champion in the WWE, and will still be the backbone of the WWE after Bunny’s 15 minutes of fame are over. Plus, they shot an absolutely awesome music video! They took a few days in San Juan, Puerto Rico, put the hop back in hip hop, and celebrated with Pina Coladas.

So without a moment further, here is the WORLD PREMIERE of Hey Hey, Hop Hop! Miz and Morrison start the video with the introduction they just gave, and away they go. Stock footage of fans, photoshopping themselves onto Madison Square Garden and Tokyo Square, and wearing bunny suits. Johnny Drip Drip and MC M I Z have sweet rhymes and nasty lucha. They also add in Miz hitting Bunny with the guitar several times. Miz and Morrison dance along with themselves in the present. They and the fake fans in the video are the only ones cheering. Miz gets emotional as he practices his acceptance speech for the Grammy’s.

But here come Bad Bunny and Damian Priest to respond! Congrats! They actually enjoyed that. It was really… How to say it? Entertaining? Sure. But Priest is glad Miz found time to relax and goof off. Because he won’t be laughing when Bunny handles him at Mania. Bunny won’t say anything else but that at Mania, Bunny says it in Spanish and Miz demands to know what it means in English. He’s going to make Miz his bitch!! Miz and Morrison storm out, but Priest is in the way. Feeling real bad behind your boy, huh, Bunny? Priest moves aside and Bunny ROCKS Miz with a right haymaker!

Priest and Bunny get in the ring and dare Miz to bring it! Morrison keeps Miz back, but Bunny throws the Dirt Sheet set out! Priest and Bunny dare the would-be rappers to bring it, then they take the poster for the music video and bend it up! Morrison says Bunny just signed his death warrant! Will Miz make this the Most Must-See crossover of all time?

 

Randy Orton speaks.

“I have been privileged throughout the course of my career to go toe-to-toe with some of the greatest talent that this industry has ever offered. Legends like Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair, legends like Shawn Michaels and Triple H, legends like The Undertaker, Kane, John Cena, it’s a very long list.” But none of those men compares to The Fiend. Just a few months ago, Orton did what he had to do to get rid of The Fiend once and for all. he chose to light the match, drop the match and watch the Fiend BURN! “No man could have survived that. But that’s the thing now, isn’t it?” Orton didn’t realize that The Fiend isn’t a man, but much, much more! The Fiend is sick and twisted, sadistic, and an abomination from HELL!

Orton thought Alexa Bliss’ premonition that The Fiend would return was an elaborate game. But the “match” at Fastlane wasn’t that at all! It was a trap! The entire time,. Alexa knew that she had The Fiend’s heartbeat in the palm of her hand and could bring him back. At least now, thank you, God, that Orton knows what he’s dealing with! So for the final time, at WrestleMania, Orton isn’t facing a man but a “sick and twisted, sadistic abomination!” Lucky for Orton, “we were both cut from the same cloth.” That means Orton will do what he has to do and knows how far as he must go to get The Fiend out of his life once and for all!

 

Shelton Benjamin w/ Cedric Alexander VS Bobby Lashley w/ MVP!

Adam Pearce made a match, and he is giving the Gold Standard his chance to show the Rocky Mountain Machine what he’s made of! Will Benjamin tear down the All Mighty World Champion and let Alexander handle the scraps next week? Or will Lashley simply steamroll one before he bulldozes the other?

Raw returns, the bell rings, and Benjamin fires off on Lashley with haymakers! Benjamin knees low, clubs Lashley, but Lashley shoves him away. Lashley scoops Benjamin but Benjamin slips off to waistlock. Lashley elbows free, Benjamin gets around and SLAMS Lashley down. Benjamin grinds Lashley but Lashley fights up. Benjamin throws Lashley down again, Alexander coaches him and Benjamin throws knees in! Benjamin clamps onto Lashley, waistlocks again, but Lashley pries free. Benjamin clubs Lashley, runs but Lashley follows to get Benjamin for the COMPLETE SHOT! Lashley rains down fists, paces, and drags Benjamin up to throw out of the ring.

Lashley paces, Alexander coaches Benjamin but Lashley goes out to get Benjamin. Lashley fireman’s carries Benjamin to POST him! Benjamin writhes, Alexander is furious but Lashley glares at them both. Lashley drags Benjamin up to throw him in and stalks him. Lashley runs corner to corner to RAM into Benjamin! Alexander swipes at Lashley, Lashley gives chase! Alexander goes up the ramp and MVP says that’s pretty funny given Alexander wanted a piece of Lashley. The ring count is past 5 of 10, Lashley returns but runs into PAYDIRT!! Cover, TWO!! Lashley survives and MVP says Alexander has only angered Lashley.

Lashley gets up, throws haymakers but Benjamin gives them back. Benjamin rams Lashley into the corner, fires off hands, then runs in to KNEE Lashley! Benjamin fire sup, runs corner to corner, and KNEES Lashley again! But Lashley hits an ALL MIGHTY SPINEBUSTER! Lashley drags Benjamin up to rain down more fists, then whips him for another ALL MIGHTY SPINEBUSTER! Lashley watches Benjamin slowly get up, and puts on the HURT LOCKER!! Benjamin is a rag doll, Lashley wins!

Winner: Bobby Lashley, by submission

The Rocky Mountain Machine has a head of steam going towards WrestleMania Weekend! Will PRIMED Alexander only get the same next week? Or will he reconsider and withdraw his request?

 

AJ Styles and Omos encounter The New Day backstage.

Styles asks what this is all about. This is for the game they’re going to play tonight! Some icebreaker things to see if Styles and Omos are meshing as a team. No, Styles and Woods are going to fight. Is he scared? Is he chicken? BAWK BAWK! NO HE’S NOT! Let’s play your games! Styles and Omos will beat them at these games, then beat them in the ring! Yeah no. But first, game night! Let the games begin, BABYYYY~! Cards, charades, all sorts of stuff! Styles says that’s fine. He and Omos can make the New Day look even more ridiculous! But will game night be less than phenomenal for the challengers?

 

WrestleMania has MORE matches!

For Night One, Braun VS Shane is now officially a Steel Cage Match! And then on Night Two, Sheamus gets another match with Matt Riddle, for the WWE United States Championship!

 

The New Day present game night!

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the NEW~ DAY~ Game~ NIIIGHT~!” This is where team skills will be put to the test against some friends! Woods introduces the Phenomenal AJ Styles, “and his extremely large counterpart,” Omos! Boooo~! Boo. Styles and Omos make their way to the ring, Woods apologizes but says he loves the mauve shirt on Omos. Kofi wants Styles to calm down and says that we’re on the way to WrestleMania, so it is important for a tag team to be on the same page, a well-oiled machine. There is a line-up of games ready to prove who (who who who) is the better team.

Playing games is going to prove who is the better team? Well, Styles & Omos are already the better team in the ring, so they’ll play along. First up is charades! You get a clue, act it out silently, and hopefully your partner gets it. Kofi goes first and the New Day has 15 seconds. BEGIN! Kofi’s clue: A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton. The piano fingers and distance hands work out. Styles can’t believe it! Well Woods loves that song! Styles takes his turn, 15 seconds and… GO! Styles’ clue: The Lion King. He does cat paws and a crown, then waving. Omos isn’t sure. Time’s up! Lion King, man! Crown, cat! But he didn’t get it~!

That moves to round two! Pick another clue and use it for Pictionary! Woods will draw on the paper, Kofi will guess. Woods’ clue: Rocket Ship. He draws a box, triangle, circle, and a moon. ROCKET SHIP!! WOOOO~! Styles volunteers to draw, even though it’s Omos’ turn. But Omos just stays put so Styles goes again. Styles’ clue: The Sun. He draws a circle with lines, and Omos is still confused. It’s the sun! Is Omos not trying? Well it’s a clean SWEEP~! Get the brooms! Omos shouts, “ENOUGH!” He isn’t here for games! To be champions, all they have to do is win at WrestleMania! Omos will show them BOTH what he is capable! And Styles will show Woods what he’s capable of right now!

Woods says HE will show STYLES what he is capable of! But thank you for watching the first-ever New Day Game Night! Styles throws things around in a fit, but he’ll be looking to throw hands with Woods after the break!

AJ Styles w/ Omos VS Xavier Woods w/ Kofi Kingston!

Raw returns and the bell rings. Woods and Styles circle, tie up, and Woods wrenches to a wristlock but Styles ROCKS him with a right. Things speed up. Styles hurdles then drops to dropkick Woods down! Styles taunts Kofi, drags Woods up and whips him to ropes. Woods ducks, dodges and slides to ROLLING ELBOW! Omos is annoyed as Woods throws EuroUppers on Styles. Woods bumps Styles off buckles, CHOPS him, then has him in another corner for a bump and CHOP! Kofi has his play by play but Styles blocks the bump to bump Woods! Styles whips, Woods reverses but Styles reverses back! Styles runs in but misses and hits buckles! Woods CHOPS Styles off his feet! Cover, ONE!

Woods drags Styles up but Styles knees low. Styles whips, Woods reverses and sends Styles out! Woods DECKS Styles off the apron, Woods builds speed, but Omos stands in the way! Styles gets away and back in the ring to turn Woods around! Woods blocks to dropkick Styles out the other way! Woods builds speed to FLY and take Styles out at the ramp! Kofi and the fans are fired up while Woods slides in to mockingly wave at Omos, and Raw goes to break!

Raw returns as Woods throws haymakers on Styles. Woods whips, Styles reverses but Woods comes back with a leaping forearm! Woods rallies on Styles, ducks a clothesline to LEG LARIAT! Woods fires up, brings Styles around but Styles reverses to back suplex. Woods lands on his feet and pops Styles up for a back drop! Cover, TWO! Woods keeps his cool as he drags Styles up and pushes him into the corner. Woods hoists Styles up top, throws hands, then climbs up to join him. Woods clubs Styles, brings him up, but Styles slips under to trip Woods up! Styles fireman’s carries to an USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO!! Kofi coaches Woods but Styles is furious!

Styles drags Woods up, reels him in, and calls his shot! Woods RAMS Styles into the corner, reels him in, and hits a TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!! Woods kicks Styles, drags him to a drop zone and goes to a corner. Woods climbs slowly, Omos drags Styles out of the ring to safety! Woods sees that, runs over but Omos blocks the kick to TOSS Woods into the ring!

Winner: Xavier Woods, by disqualification

Kofi leaps at Omos but Omos catches him! And military presses Kofi to TOSS him over the barrier!! Just like when he tossed Woods with that choke slam! Styles drags Woods up, bumps him off buckles and fires off hands! Omos runs in to back elbow Woods HARD! Styles says he and Omos will be champion, and they’ll “get it done!” Styles feeds Woods to Omos’ POP-UP SPINEBUSTER!! The gigantic Omos stands on Woods’ chest, and Styles “counts the pin.” Will we see this happen at WrestleMania in Omos’ massive debut match?

 

Raw returns to Alexa’s Playground.

She hums Pop Goes the Weasel, then says, “Don’t you just love Jack-in-the-Boxes?” This may look and sound like a normal one, but she’ll let us in on a secret: “it’s so much more. Did you know, centuries ago, these used to be called Devil in the Box?” They had spells written all over and there were weakened spirits inside. That’s what happened at TLC to him. Randy Orton burned The Fiend alive, and then believed he was gone forever. But he was wrong. The Fiend was just weakened and trapped. Trapped inside the Fiend in a Box. “But you can’t trap evil forever. All he needed was time. And now he’s just salivating at the idea of standing across from Randy Orton at WrestleMania.”

Orton’s biggest mistake used to be playing with fire. But now, Orton’s mistake is thinking he understands what’s next. He doesn’t. But Alexa will give us Fireflies a teeny, tiny little hint. “At WrestleMania, the Legend Killer dies.” The camera backs up, and The Fiend has been sitting beside Alexa this whole time! Will the Fiend chase the Viper around until it’s POP goes Randy Orton?

 

McIntyre storms into the locker room!

He’s done waiting for someone to step up! He’ll get them to step up now! No one wants to? That’s disappointing. A few years ago, a young McIntyre would’ve gone after him the second he got here! Anyone gonna tweet and get trending? Is that how you guys get something going today? McIntyre tells Braun he should’ve been a five-time world champion by now! Why isn’t he?! Step the hell up! Braun says McIntyre doesn’t have to worry. After he tears Shane apart, and if McIntyre gets the title back, Braun will be first to come find him.

Anyone else then? WrestleMania is here, dammit! McIntyre wants Humberto Carrillo to step up and do something! Anyone! Riddle says he’s stuffed after fighting Sheamus. Those matches are like full Thanksgiving meals. But Angel Garza gives it a try! He clubs McIntyre but McIntyre ROCKS him then throws him into a couch! McIntyre asks if anyone is taking this serious! Drew Gulak thinks about it, and McIntyre says he’s seen the posts, begging for replies. GLASGOW KISS!! Ricochet is there, and McIntyre knows he wants his opportunity. Take it.

Ricochet says Lashley’s word doesn’t mean a thing to him. They’ve known each other a long time. If McIntyre wants a fight, then alright. McIntyre respects that. See you in the ring, Ricochet. Will the One and Only still prove himself, Lashley’s bounty or not?

 

Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax & Reginald VS Naomi w/ Lana!

With the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships without challengers for WrestleMania, the Queen of Spades takes on The Glow to see if she is worthy! Will Naomi take the fight to Shayna and earn a golden ticket for her and Lana?

Raw returns, Dana Brooke & Mandy Rose have joined commentary as Naomi makes her entrance. The bell rings, Shayna and Naomi circle then tie up. Naomi waistlocks, Shayna backs her down but the ref counts. Shayna lets off but ROCKS Naomi with an elbow! Naomi boots but is blocked so she comes back with an enziguri! Naomi whips, Shayna reverses but Naomi goes up only for Shayna to KICK her arms out! Nia cheers Shayna as Shayna wrenches the arm to hammerlock and STOMP the arm! Dana feels Naomi’s pain as Shayna fires forearms on Naomi. Shayna wristlocks, keylocks and grinds Naomi down. Naomi endures, fights up, and throws body shots to then enziguri again!

Naomi PENALTY KICKS, then NECK SNAPPERS! Shayna staggers up into a BUBBA BOMB! Rolling clutch, TWO! Naomi bridges, TWO! KIRAFUDA KTLUCH! Naomi rolls to a cover, Shayna slips out to go for an arm but Naomi hits a leg split leg drop! Cover, TWO! Naomi goes up, Reggie distracts her! Lana runs in, Reggie handsprings away from her! Shayna has Naomi in the Tree of Woe but Naomi fights free while Nia glares at Lana. Lana goes to slap but gets scooped! Nia wants the table, Lana slips off and shoves Nia into Mandy! Dana goes after Lana for that! Reggie panics as Dana fireman’s carries Lana around.

Lana kicks Dana away, is on the apron, Shayna BOOTS her down! Naomi rolls Shayna, and WINS!!

Winner: Naomi, by pinfall

The Ravishing Glow took advantage of the chaos and got the win! Will they be the ones heading for Mania to shine in the spotlight?

 

Asuka and Riddle cross paths.

Is everything okay, Bro? Yeah, he’s just a bit sore and beat up. But at least he gets to fight Sheamus at Mania! And he’s got his scooter back! Nice! She likes? Yeah! Do people in Japan like scooters? Oh, yeah, they’d love it. Riddle spaces out, apologizes, and heads off again. Will Riddle get his head right before facing the Fella again? And speaking of title matches, Asuka heads for gorilla, because she has a contract signing to get to!

 

Adam Pearce is in the ring.

He officially introduces the Raw Women’s Championship match contract signing, and first introduces the challenger, Rhea Ripley! This time last year, Rhea was showing up on Raw as NXT Women’s Champion and getting Charlotte Flair to challenge her. Now, she is the challenger stepping up against the Empress of Tomorrow! And now, the Empress herself, Asuka, makes her entrance! Both women take their seats at the table and Rhea likes to point out that Asuka is the current Raw Women’s Champion. Asuka laughs at Rhea’s little joke, because she IS the Raw Women’s Champion. “And you are overconfident.”

Rhea admits she is overconfident, but on her first night to Raw, she was confident enough to step to Asuka for a match. Now, she’s confident enough to tell Asuka that she will WIN at Mania and take the title! Rhea signs her part, pushes the contract to Asuka, and Asuka signs her part. And then in Japanese then English, Asuka tells Rhea that her confidence is borrowed, not earned. Rhea has talent, but she has to learn that she is NOT READ- Rhea DUMPS the table onto Asuka! But wait, why are Nia and Shayna returning?!

Rhea stands over Asuka, grabs a mic, and as Nia says, “I don’t know what’s worse: Rhea Ripley having the audacity to request a championship at WrestleMania, or Asuka for accepting her challenge.” Shayna says both are bad. But Rhea’s new, Asuka’s the one who should be ashamed. After everything Shayna’s down to Asuka, she should know better. Shayna and Nia have dominated the ENTIRE Women’s Division for an entire YEAR! Where is THEIR Mania match? Shayna showed she could kick Asuka’s teeth out. And as for Rhea, Shayna can’t wait to give her a hard dose of reality. Rhea asks what’s stopping them?

Well if the Empress of Yesterday can pull herself together, how about she and Rhea step into the ring with Nia & Shayna next week? Then Nia can show Rhea what *stomp* brutality really is. Rhea answers on behalf of Asuka that they ACCEPT! Asuka is shocked, but Rhea just wants to fight! Will Rhea regret getting ahead of herself? Or is she going to earn that confidence she has?

 

MVP finds Ricochet backstage.

After all this time, MVP is glad to see Ricochet is thinking like a businessman and take Lashley up on the offer. Ricochet explains to MVP this isn’t about Lashley’s offer. At the end of the day, Lashley AND MVP are both full of it. Tonight is for Ricochet. Ricochet doesn’t know when he’ll get another opportunity, but he will beat McIntyre because he knows he can! See you around. Will the One and Only still do the Hurt Business’ dirty work for them?

Drew McIntyre VS Ricochet!

The Scottish Stud goes to the ring first, still looking around to see if anyone else wants to cash in. Will he be able to focus on the King of Flight if his head’s on a swivel?

Raw returns and Ricochet makes his entrance. The bell rings and Ricochet fires off hands but McIntyre tosses Ricochet! Ricochet boots McIntyre, runs and ducks, but still gets LAUNCHED with a back drop! McIntyre looms over Ricochet, brings him up, and CHOPS him! McIntyre keeps Ricochet from falling over to then OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Ricochet flops to the apron, McIntyre storms over and drags him back up. McIntyre ROCKS Ricochet with a right, Lashley watches backstage as McIntyre OVERHEAD- Wait, Ricochet lands on his feet! Ricochet dodges McIntyre, runs and tilt-o-whirls to headscissor McIntyre into buckles!

Ricochet fires off hands, then KNEES McIntyre down to a knee! Ricochet runs, goes up the corner, and leaps to ENZIGURI! Cover, ONE!?! McIntyre shocks Ricochet and shoves him away. Ricochet dumps McIntyre out, McIntyre gets to his feet and drags Ricochet out! McIntyre DECKS Ricochet, whips him but Ricochet goes up and up, to walk the barriers and come back with a DROPKICK! MVP actually cheers Ricochet on as he gets in the ring. McIntyre hurries in, Ricochet puts him in a drop zone. Ricochet hurries up top, but McIntyre avoids the 450! Ricochet rolls through and comes back, into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

The Scottish Warrior wasn’t taken out by Ricochet, and starts to dare anyone else to step up, and MUSTAFA ALI chop blocks from behind! Ali has no Retribution behind him but he stomps away on McIntyre! Ali fires off hands, the ref pulls him away but McIntyre throws Ali out! Ali flounders back up and McIntyre dares Ali to fight him! Will McIntyre have another match again?!

 

Drew McIntyre VS Mustafa Ali!

Raw returns, and he is! But it’s already underway and Ali SLAMS McIntyre’s leg against the post! And then dropkicks the leg into the post! Ali wants to do more damage but McIntyre kick shim away. McIntyre hobbles, Ali runs in and avoids the scoop to chop block again! Ali drops elbows on the leg, stomps it, then shouts, “This is what I deserve!” Ali KICKS McIntyre’s leg, Lashley is still watching, and McIntyre DECKS Ali. McIntyre gets in but Ali dropkicks the leg out! Lashley doesn’t look satisfied and he leaves. Ali is still after the leg, clubs McIntyre on the back and puts the leg in the ropes. Ali pulls but McIntyre CHOPS Ali away! McIntyre storms over but into another basement dropkick! Cover, ONE!!

Ali is still after the leg! McIntyre grabs for ropes, Ali holds on but McIntyre kicks him away. Ali skins the cat to get back up. Ali climbs to the top rope and SPLASHES the leg! McIntyre writhes, Ali covers, TWO!! Ali grows frustrated, and tells MVP he’s getting that opportunity! MVP loves the initiative. Ali throws haymakers on McIntyre and rains them down! Ali glares, runs, but into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! McIntyre seethes and runs in to OVERHEAD Belly2Belly Ali again! McIntyre hobbles over, throws haymakers and CHOPS, then stomps Ali to bring him up, and OVERHEAD Belly2Belly again! McIntyre demands Ali stand, but Ali kicks the bad leg! Ali goes up and leaps, into a GLASGOW KISS!

McIntyre counts down from the corner, and CLAYMORES! Cover, McIntyre wins again!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

That’s two in a row in one night, but then he dares anyone else to step up!? How about Lashley?! McIntyre demands a mic, gets one, and shouts, “C’mon, Lashley. I know you’re back there watching. Everybody tried, and everybody got their ass kicked by Drew McIntyre!” Lashley needs to man up, get out and finish McIntyre himself! McIntyre demands Lashley grow balls and show up! Lashley makes his entrance, MVP says this isn’t good. Will we get WrestleMania a couple weeks early?! We find out after the break!

 

Raw returns as Lashley and McIntyre stare down.

McIntyre says, “I guess it makes sense why you came out here. I was so focused on the match, I never even noticed MVP behind me.” Lashley could send anyone, play whatever trick she wants, but he can’t prevent the inevitable. Lashley VS McIntyre for the WWE World Championship is happening at WrestleMania! Lashley says he never needed anyone’s help. Did McIntyre forget what Lashley did to him at Elimination Chamber? He almost ended McIntyre’s career! And in hindsight, Lashley should’ve. But Lashley promises that the mauling then will pale in comparison to what’s happening at Mania! McIntyre’s time is up! This is the ALL MIGHTY ERA!

Well, Lashley’s fired up. McIntyre likes that. But Lashley beat McIntyre at Chamber, that’s true. There’s no one as big, bad and dangerous as Lashley. If McIntyre didn’t exist, Lashley would be THE  man in the WWE. But going after McIntyre like this, it only proves he’s afraid of McIntyre! Lashley pushes McIntyre, they brawl, and Lashley tackles McIntyre! McIntyre kicks Lashley away, runs into a clinch and gets knees, but he fights free with elbows! GLASGOW KISS and a BOOT! Lashley falls out of the ring and McIntyre shouts, “Is that all you got? You better bring more than that at WrestleMania, you son of a bitch!”

But then KING CORBIN attacks from behind?! SmackDown’s Wolf King is here and he brawls with McIntyre! Back Suplex SLAM! And then another! Corbin drags McIntyre up, eggs him on, but McIntyre rams him to a corner, and OVERHEAD Belly2Belly suplexes! McIntyre is furious, and he runs at Corbin, but into DEEP SIX! Corbin lets Lashley pick the bones and put on the HURT LOCK!! MVP says, “Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, the All Mighty WWE Champion.” This is a Mania preview! Lashley throws McIntyre down, Corbin tells him to do that again, so Lashley does!

McIntyre is a rag doll as Lashley leans on the hold! Lashley drops McIntyre, and MVP says, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Hurt Business.” Lashley makes McIntyre stare at the title belt. This is WAR! McIntyre crawls, but Lashley looms over him. Lashley hauls him back up and again puts on the HURT LOCK! McIntyre can only fade back out with Corbin shouting in his face, “How do YOU like it, Drew?!” The Rocky Mountain Machine finally lets McIntyre go, but will he be able to do this against McIntyre at Mania when it’s just 1v1?


My Thoughts:

A pretty good episode, but something just seemed to hold it back. The handling of Lashley putting the hit out on McIntyre was probably what didn’t blend well from last week to this week, especially with throwing the Hurt Business changing members. Benjamin and Alexander were let go and very upset about that, but wanting matches with Lashley seemed off. I was expecting Benjamin and Alexander would try to cash in on Lashley’s offer to the locker room and go after McIntyre first.

What was also off was McIntyre getting impatient about people going after him under Lashley’s offer. I know McIntyre’s return angle centered around wanting the superstars to step up and be sharks, but why let Lashley’s bounty on his head make him get jumpy like that? He gets in people’s faces, throws Carrillo, fights Garza, hits Gulak, then has matches with Ricochet and Ali, all considerably quickly. Seems like they’re trying to jam in a month of build into two weeks when all they needed was to bring up the Elimination Chamber attack like they did near the end. Have a face to face get physical, then debut Corbin as the new replacement in the Hurt Business.

Which is also confusing, actually. Is Corbin going to finally get rid of the King of the Ring gimmick? Is he being traded to Raw and someone will eventually be sent to SmackDown? Was this Brand to Brand Invitation without having time to say so? Maybe next week’s go-home helps with that, or even this week’s SmackDown. But either way, it all seems like we’re being rushed because somewhere along the way, Vince had an idea of how to build this feud of Lashley and McIntyre, didn’t think it through and is just filling in the gaps as quickly as he can.

Another thing that seems clunky is having a copypasta of WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions facing the brand’s top champion and her challenger. I liked the contract signing promos from Asuka and Rhea, and even Rhea being the first one to throw something, but we didn’t need Nia and Shayna coming out and goading Rhea into accepting a match for her and Asuka. Shayna and Nia wanting a Mania match should translate them to going to Adam Pearce, and he’ll make up some huge tag contender match for the go-home, Dana & Mandy VS Naomi & Lana, maybe even use Brand to Brand so Natalya & Tamina can join in, the Heels of Natty & Tamina taking the loss for I would think Naomi & Lana, given how Naomi won against Shayna because of multi-team chaos.

Riddle’s promo with Asuka was weird, too. I think he flubbed his lines and just had to bail because there was no time. Seems a shame, really, I felt like something was there. Sheamus VS Riddle was a great match, and of course it was leading to a US Championship match for Mania. That match will be on par, if not better, and could go either way. Sheamus might need the win more since he’s been on the losing end for a bit more, and Riddle hasn’t exactly had the strongest run as it is, either. Maybe Vince just has no idea what to do with Riddle past “Bro…!” and his behavior that comes off as annoying to other superstars.

Shane’s mockery of Braun was the usual doofiness WWE tends to bring to these kinds of things. Promos like this, with the fake pictures made up just for the promo and put on the titantron just aren’t hitting the mark like they used to, and honestly should just be stopped. Braun of course wins against Ryker, but again has the train sounds for his “Strowman Express” spot. Then him choosing a Steel Cage match was just an awful choice. Is it an unwritten rule that no one can ever remember the THOUSANDS of times when a cage match has NEVER stopped interference? It is just a guarantee that someone on Shane’s side will show up and help him against Braun, which sucks.

We got good promos from Orton and Alexa, and I’m hoping Alexa’s “hint” was the very subtle way of saying we are getting a Firefly Fun House match, as it’s not what Orton expects. It can start as a slug fest, they go backstage, and then things get trippy with the Firefly Fun House stuff where Orton loses and, like John Cena, is blinked out of WWE existence so he can take some time off or something. Then one day, unlike Cena, we get a puppet that is so clearly meant to be Orton joining Alexa in her playground.

I think the best stuff tonight was with the New Day, Styles and Omos. New Day have their game night idea, Styles literally plays along but Omos doesn’t. Omos is almost coming off the alpha of the two because he’s staying serious and focused. Woods VS Styles was a good match, and I’m a little surprised Omos got involved to get Styles disqualified. But Omos catching and throwing Kofi to then help Styles beat Woods down was pretty good. Omos is definitely going to be what makes or breaks the match, both in reality and in kayfabe. Omos did good with the power moves, he was able to run well for that corner body block, and I’m going to assume his finisher is the two-hand slam. It’ll come down to if Omos can keep up with the New Day once it’ll be a fair match, and he could be what costs him and Styles for making some kind of rookie mistake, which could be a good wrinkle in the story for him and Styles.

My Score: 8/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/18/24)

Talk about a Big Time Raw!

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Will The Man be the Last Woman Standing?

Becky Lynch and Nia Jax want to finally put this to an end, so tonight on Raw, it will be a Big Time Last Woman Standing match! Will the Irresistible Force force the WrestleMania 40 match to change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: #DIY VS The Creed Brothers; DIY wins and advances to WrestleMania.
  • Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell VS Kayden Carter & Katana Chance; Candice & Indi win.
  • Dominik Mysterio w/ JD McDonagh VS Ricochet; Ricochet wins.
  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The Awesome Truth VS Indus Sher; The Awesome Truth wins and advances to WrestleMania.
  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The New Day VS The Alpha Academy; The New Day wins and advances to WrestleMania.
  • Last Woman Standing: Becky Lynch VS Nia Jax; Becky wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Jey Uso is here!

North Carolina State University fires up and bounces along with Main Event Jey, and Pat McAfee plays a dangerous game standing on the armchairs! From Bret VS Owen to Matt VS Jeff, we’re about to get Jey VS Jimmy in the third-ever Brother VS Brother WrestleMania grudge match! Jey gets the mic as fans chant “YEET! YEET! YEET!” Jey welcomes us to Monday Night Raw, and wants us to check this out. He knows his brothers are somewhere in the building. He knows The Bloodline’s in the building. He knows how the Bloodline rolls! SO Big Brother Jimmy, where you at?! Where you at, Uce!?

Jey waits for someone to show up somewhere, and the crowd spots them first! Fans boo as Jimmy & Solo make their way from the back of the stands. Jimmy gets a mic and goes to the apron while Solo paces around the outside. Fans chant “YEET! YEET! YEET!” again as Jey puts the sunglasses aside. The Usos stare each other down, the fans now chant “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Jey wants to say something, hesitates, but then says these two would always get to it but they always knew how to shake right back to this. But now it’s different. Regardless of what happened, the bad blood between them, Jey misses his brother. He does.

Jey knows Jimmy will say what he wants, but Jey doesn’t talk to him no more, doesn’t ride with him no more, doesn’t even see him no more! Jimmy can just come back. Jimmy says he never left! He protected Jey! Jey’s so dumb, he can’t see it! Jimmy is protecting Jey! It was Jey’s idea to leave The Bloodline, but Jimmy helped because he is Jey’s brother. So yeah, Jey leaves, and what happens? Lil’ Bro becomes the BIGGEST star on the Raw roster! Lil’ Bro becomes the top merch seller! Lil’ Bro goes off to become a tag team champion without Jimmy, but with CODY RHODES!? Who left who, Uce?

Jey forgot Jimmy! Everything Jey did that was big was cuz of Big Bro Jimmy! Everything! So listen loud and clear. The biggest moment in Jey’s career, the BIGGEST moment, is because of Jimmy! Jimmy stares Jey down, but Jey says no. Jey’s biggest moment in his career is going to be his dream match at WrestleMania 40: Jey VS Jimmy, and Jey knocks the yeet out Jimmy’s ass! Jey DECKS Jimmy, DECKS Solo off the apron, but then Jimmy SUPERKICKS Jey down! The fans boo but now Solo storms in and looms over Jey. Solo drags Jey up so Jimmy can look him in the face and tell him that Jey needs to get it right! JIMMY made Jey!

But here comes Cody Rhodes! The fans fire up as Cody DECKS Jimmy, then gets in to springboard and CODY CUTTER Solo!! The American Nightmare said he was gonna be a Bloodline Hunter, and he made sure they didn’t take out Jey! Cody tells The Bloodline it is only a matter of time before they lose it all at WrestleMania! Will Jey prove that younger or older doesn’t matter when he is the BETTER brother?

 

Adam Pearce is on the phone.

He’s telling Nick Aldis to stop being a hypocrite, telling Pearce to keep his roster in check when this is happening. But then Paul Heyman walks over and Pearce says he’ll call Aldis back. Pearce then asks Heyman what was all that, and Heyman says he owes Pearce an apology. He is sorry. That was not authorized by The Final Boss nor The Tribal Chief, and certainly not by Heyman. Jimmy & Solo went into business for themselves so Heyman apologizes. But listen, Pearce knows that there have been flight delays all day. Even private jets like theirs. Heyman is barely even dressed for TV, let alone has his make-up!

Pearce says those two were ready. Yeah, well, they got in on a different flight. But Roman Reigns is a chief of his word. Those two are already gone, out of the arena, and Pearce has Roman’s word. Call his bluff, put out a search party. Pearce knows Heyman is here on official business, which Heyman will handle, and then be gone. That is it. But when Heyman does his official business… everyone will be caught off guard. “And Mr. Pearce, sir, that’s not a prediction. That’s a spoiler.” The Wise Man heads out and calls Roman, but just what is Heyman teasing?

 

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: #DIY VS The Creed Brothers!

Unlike SmackDown’s mini-tournament, Raw and Adam Pearce say it’s win and you’re in! Tommaso Ciampa & Johnny Gargano want one more shot at Judgment Day, but so do Julius & Brutus! Will the Sicilian Psycho & Johnny Wrestling prove that when it comes to Mania Moments, you gotta do it yourself? Or will the Creeds be bringing golden tickets to the Diamond Mine?

Raw returns as The Creeds make their entrance. The teams fist bump to show respect, then the teams sort out. Julius starts against Ciampa, they circle and tie up. They’re in a deadlock, Ciampa goes for a waistlock but Julius facelocks. Julius wrangles Ciampa to the mat, flips him over, ONE, and Ciampa keeps moving. They trade facelocks, gator roll, and Julius gets another lateral press. ONE, but Julius gator rolls Ciampa around. Ciampa fights up, puts Julius on ropes, and the ref counts. Ciampa lets off, then CHOPS! Julius shoots in for the takedown! Julius has a leg, Ciampa fights but Julius turns him for the ANKLE LOCK!

Ciampa scrambles to the ROPEBREAK, and Julius lets off cleanly. Ciampa bails out, shakes it off, and he gets back in. They go again, Julius hits a fireman’s carry takeover! Tag to Brutus, and Julius feeds Ciampa to another fireman’s carry takeover! Brutus cording holds but Ciampa endures. Ciampa fights up, but Brutus facelocks. The fans rally as Brutus switches and rolls Ciampa. Ciampa fights up, headlocks, then ROCKS Brutus! Brutus DECKS Ciampa, then whips him to ropes. Ciampa ducks ‘n’ dodges, tag to Gargano! Ciampa slides, CHOPS, Gargano LARIATS and Ciampa JAWBREAKERS! Wrench and LARIAT!

Julius runs in, Gargano kicks and Ciampa gives him the boost for SLICED BREAD! The Creeds bail out, but DIY DOUBLE PLANCHA! Down go the Creeds, and DIY applaud and pat themselves on the back. The fans fire up and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Ciampa has Julius in a chinlock. The fans rally, Julius fights up to throw body shots, but Ciampa hits a back suplex! Julius lands out of it, but Ciampa elbows him away. Ciampa drop toeholds Julius, gets legs, but Julius BOOTS Ciampa away! Hot tags to Gargano and Brutus! Brutus rallies on DIY, TOSSES Gargano, then blocks Ciampa’s kick to get under and POWERBOMB him! Brutus sees DIY regroup, then he runs in to SPLASH them both! O’Conner on Ciampa, but Gargano runs up! NORTHERN LIGHTS! Brutus has a DOUBLE BRIDGE, TWO!! Tag to Julius and he gut wrench SLAMS Brutus on Ciampa!

Brutus helps Julius flip up and over to SPLASH onto Ciampa! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up as Julius drags Ciampa up. Ciampa throat chops! A bit dirty but Ciampa wants that win! Ciampa storms up on Julius, but Julius basement stalling suplexes!! The fans are thunderous, Gargano runs in, but Brutus intercepts! Brutus suplexes Gargano now, stalls, and then the Creeds SLAM and kip up! Then they both STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Ciampa stays in this for DIY but the Creeds keep cool. Julius stomps Ciampa, tags Brutus, and they KNEE Ciampa around! Then they DOUBLE GUTBUSTER! Ciampa sputters but Brutus tags Julius in.

Julius drags Ciampa up, tags Brutus back in, and Brutus climbs. Julius Electric Chair Lifts, but Gargano makes the save! Gargano ROCKS Julius, Brutus ROCKS Gargano! Ciampa BOOTS Brutus, Gargano swings on Julius but is sent into Ciampa! Ciampa pushes Gargano back so he can ELBOW Julius! DIY set up again but Brutus stops the Sliced Bread! Julius DECKS Ciampa, KNEE into the WIDOWMAKER! Julius scrapes Gargano out, Brutus POUNCES Ciampa over the desk! Pat fires up with Brutus and so do the fans! The Creeds say they run this now, and then Brutus drags Ciampa up while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Julius has Ciampa in a chinlock. Ciampa fights up, and he JAWBREAKERS free! Ciampa ELBOWS Brutus down, BOOTS Julius, then runs up, only for Julius to catch him and toss him back! But then Ciampa catches Julius for a REVERSE DDT! The fans fire up while both men are down and crawling! Hot tag to Gargano! Gargano slingshots to KICK Julius, then he CLOBBERS Brutus! ENZIGIRI for Julius, then he runs to DOUBLE KNEE Brutus! BULLDOG LARIAT COMBO! The fans fire up with Gargano while Julius ends up in another corner. Gargano runs in but is put on the apron!

Gargano GAMANGIRIS Julius, SUPERKICKS Brutus, then SLINGSHOT SPEARS Julius! Cover, TWO! Julius survives but Gargano puts him in a corner. Gargano CHOPS, then hoists Julius up top. Tag to Ciampa, Ciampa CHOPS Julius while Gargano DIVES onto Brutus! Ciampa CHOPS Julius again, goes up top, and fireman’s carries! Ciampa then tucks Julius in for the SUPER AIR RAID CRASH! Cover, TWO!! Julius survives again and shocks Ciampa! The fans are just as stunned, but Ciampa and Julius sit up. Ciampa stands, and he CHOPS! And CHOPS! Julius sits back up as Ciampa puts some stank on the CHOP!

Julius brings the straps down! Julius fires a forearm, Ciampa hits back, and the fans fire up as the shots keep going! They go faster and faster, harder and harder, meaner and meaner! The fans fire up as this just turns into a brawl of haymakers and SLAPS! Ciampa then gets around, ripcord and HAYMAKER! ROLLING- TACKLE from Julius! And then the ANKLE LOCK!! Ciampa reaches out, moves around, but Gargano runs up! Julius kicks him, then gets him up with one arm to POWERBOMB! Then it’s back to the ANKLE LOCK on Ciampa! Brutus gets in to get Gargano for an ANKLE LOCK of his own!

The fans are thunderous as DIY endures! Ciampa and Gargano fight, turn things over, SICILIAN CROSSFACE and GargaNO Escape!! The fans are thunderous as The Creeds power up and lift both DIY! They fireman’s carry, then TOSS DIY into each other!! The fans are thunderous as Julius goes up to MOONSAULT onto Ciampa! Brutus MOONSAULTS, too! Cover, TWO?!?! Ciampa survives and the fans are loving this! Julius tags back in, Brutus climbs up! “This is Awesome!” as Julius Electric Chair Lifts Ciampa! But Ciampa VICTORY ROLLS to get under the Brutus Ball!! Cover, Brutus tips it! Gargano TOSSES Brutus then SUPERKICKS Julius!! Ciampa has the cover, DIY WINS!!

Winners: DIY, by pinfall (advance to WrestleMania)

Julius can’t believe it! He kicked out at 3.1, but a loss is a loss! And for the first time ever, DIY is going to Mania! Will Philadelphia soon be historic for a DIY championship victory?

 

Judgment Day meets backstage.

Rhea Ripley is with Dominik Mysterio, Finn Balor & JD McDonagh, but also Andrade. Dom says he’s always liked Andrade’s style, but things have changed since the last time he was in the WWE. The Judgment Day runs Raw now. Rhea says yeah, and they don’t extend invitations to just anyone. Judgment Day is very exclusive. JD says very exclusive. But if Andrade continues to impress them, they’ll see about making things happen. And Finn says he just heard that Andrade has a match next week, so the Judgment Day will be watching him. Sounds good. See you next week. But then in steps Damian Priest.

The Punisher says hello to El Idolo, and El Idolo says hello to Senor Dinero. Andrade heads out, will he quite literally win his way into the club? But as for Priest, Finn asks him what he was up to. Priest was getting a closer look at that DIY VS Creeds match. DIY won, but whatever, they can handle those guys. But JD, they thought he could handle Ricochet last week, and run the gauntlet, and then go to WrestleMania to bring even more gold back to Judgment Day. JD says he did he belonged in there. But also, he battered Ricochet, who got lucky at the end there. Right, Finn? Finn hesitates, and Rhea says Priest is right on this one.

Ricochet made a fool out of JD! A fool? Yes. A fool? Yes. That’s why tonight, Dom will make it right. Right, Dom? Yeah, Mami. Let’s go talk to Pearce to make it official. Dom & JD head out, and the others are confident Dom’s got this. But does he, though? Or will the One and Only have two wins over Judgment Day in as many weeks?

 

Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell VS Kayden Carter & Katana Chance!

The Poison Pixie certainly lived up to that name last week when she bullied Maxxine Dupri as part of beating her and Ivy Nile last week. Will Candice’s toxic tongue strike again? Or will the party not be stopped by her harsh vibes?

The teams sort out and Candice starts against Kayden. Candice rushes up, Kayden gets around and O’Conner Rolls, TWO! Kayden springboards to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Kayden stalks Candice, Candice ELBOWS her away then tags Indi. Kayden dodges Candice to SUPERKICK, but Indi BOOTS Kayden! Cover, TWO! Indi drags Kayden up, tags Candice back in, and they mug Kayden. Candice CLUBS away on Kayden, fires off furious fists, then covers. TWO, and Candice grows frustrated already. The fans rally, Candice steps up but Kayden avoids the senton! Tags to Katana and Indi! Katana blasts past Indi, comes back and BULLDOGS!

Katana keeps moving, ducks ‘n’ dodges, then SHOTGUNS Indi to a corner! The fans fire up as Katana stomps away on Indi! Indi shoves Katana, Katana runs corner to corner to A-LIST LARIAT! Katana shoves Indi down, runs up, but into a back suplex! Katana lands out, but her leg jams! The ref and Kayden check, then the ref keeps Indi back. Indi says okay, and she stays by Candice. But Candice tags in to WRECK Kayden! And she SLAMS Katana’s leg into the post!! HALF CRAB and DEEP! Katana taps, Candice & Indi win!

Winners: Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell, by submission

Candice smiles and celebrates with Indi, but Indi doesn’t want to. Candice says a win is a win, but just what is going on in her toxic mind?

 

Cody Rhodes makes his way to the ring.

NC State fires up again as The American Nightmare walks down the ramp, and this time the fans can sing along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro then gets the mic. “In less than three weeks time, I will stand opposed for the second year in a row, in the main event, with the lights on brightest, I will challenge for the WWE Undisputed Championship, against the greatest champion in all of sports, The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. And this Friday on SmackDown, Roman and I are going to have a little conversation, if you will. But there are… complications. Factors, elements, combustible elements, namely… The Rock.”

Fans boo but Cody says The Rock took to Instagram on Friday, and followed it up with “extremely entertaining” concert. Too bad The Rock didn’t wanna be here tonight. Something Cody took from the Instagram post: The Rock referred to himself as “Our Favorite Heel.” A bit of an inside term, but we’re not dumb, we know that means he’s the “bad guy.” Cody has known Heels. Bobby Heenan, Arn Anderson, Michael Hayes, “Superstar” Billy Graham, “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair! Fans “WOO~” and Cody says he doesn’t think The Rock is a Heel. He’s just an assh*le. The fans go nuts hearing that!

Cody doesn’t want Rock getting upset, he doesn’t want the “seven bucks team” to get upset, he doesn’t want anyone getting emotional. Cody knows how Rock feels about emotions, he poked fun at Cody tearing up at discussing “finishing the story” with good friend, Michael Cole. There’s no crying in pro-wrestling, Jimmy Dugan, we get it. But hasn’t The Rock been crying behind the scenes this whole time? Once that hashtag came out, once fans chanted something else, The Rock cried to his buddies on the TKO board and said “Hey, this is gonna be some good PR for The Rock! I need to save WWE!” God knows, look at this house. They sure needed “saving,” huh?

The fans cheer but Cody says Rock wanted great PR. Until it wasn’t. TKO said OMG yes, put on the Gucci shirt, get those muscles looking big. It’s because they are Yes People, they are enablers, they won’t dare tell The Rock like it is, so Cody’s going to. Cody tells The Rock, “You’re a lot of things. You’re a lot of wonderful things. You are the Braham Bull, you are The Great One.” Cody still has shoes with The Rock’s logo on it! The Rock is the only guy Cody honestly feels is a Mount Rushmore wrestler. But he is also a terrible salesman, a carny succubus, and for those who don’t get what that means, The Rock is “a whiny b*tch!”

Fans lose their minds again but Cody says The Rock has been convinced otherwise. But don’t think that for two seconds this locker room needs The Rock more than The Rock needs it! That’s a rule of wrestling, nobody is bigger than the business! And sure, Cody brought up his mom, so it is fair game for The Rock to use that. But Cody knows The Rock’s mom. Here’s what Cody will tell us about The Rock’s mom. She is a wonderful lady, salt of the earth, she helped Cody chop Kevin in a dark match. Cody has nothing but respect for The Rock’s mom, something The Rock should’ve echoed back towards Cody’s mom.

But see, The Rock was talking about whipping Cody, handing a bloody weight belt to Cody’s mom, and normally someone as powerful as The Rock, Mama Rhodes would tremble. But The Rock doesn’t know Cody’s mom. Cody was more scared than she was, because she ain’t scared of nothing. This is the same woman who once jumped out of her chair at a Willie Nelson concert and beat up an undercover cop! She ain’t afraid of The Rock! Cody has been asked, April 6th, biggest tag match of all time, Rock & Roman VS Cody & Seth. Seth Rollins, the World Heavyweight Champion, a man The Rock should respect because that man has carried The Rock’s company!

How will Cody get past that match? How will April 7th look? Will it be a fair fight? Cody can tell us honestly… He doesn’t know. Cody does not know if it will be Bloodline Rules or not. Hell, he might not #FinishTheStory. “But Dwayne… What do you know? How can you be so sure of your own self, right?” The Rock hasn’t been in the ring in real action in years! April 6th, the bell is gonna ring, and what happens then? Is The Rock gonna bring The Great One, the hero we all had growing up? Is he bringing that #BigDwayneEnergy? Or is it gonna be LDS, Little D*ck Syndrome?! The fans chant “L D S! L D S!”

Cody says The Rock has referred to himself as The Final Boss. Kudos for that nickname, maybe he really is that. Maybe Cody is too naive to see it. But at WrestleMania, Cody doesn’t think The Rock will be The Final Boss. At WrestleMania, he’s just Roman’s side chick. But then ladies and gentlemen, his name is Paul Heyman, and he serves as The Wise Man to Your Tribal Chief, the reigning! Defending! Undisputed! WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion, Roman… Reigns! And as Special Counsel to the Bloodline, Heyman is here to say to Cody that the ideals that Cody and Heyman share are far greater than the interests on which they conflict.

By example, don’t you hate it when someone comes out to demand an apology? Not that Cody’s done that, but Heyman is still going to do that. Heyman came out here with some “friends” of his, and he apologized. For a Wise Man, that was pretty freakin’ stupid. One: because it didn’t work. Two: because it was just dumb. And for that, Cody, to you and the fans, Heyman humbly apologizes. Cody says whoa, whoa, whoa. He didn’t ask for an apology, and he certainly knows Heyman wants permission to be in the ring. Heyman is a Hall of Famer starting this year, if he wants into the ring, be Cody’s guest.

Heyman thanks Cody for that but he’s fine on the apron. He carries with him a message from The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. Talk about Heels… You may think of Heyman anything negative you want, and that might be understanding the obvious. Heyman is not trustworthy, but Roman is a chief of his word. Heyman assures that this Friday on SmackDown, Roman will be face to face with Cody. American Nightmare, Tribal Chief, challenger and champion. And when they are face to face, there will not be a single other member of The Bloodline in sight. Except for Heyman, but he is no physical threat.

Heyman holds the title belt, the beads, whispers things in Roman’s ear, such as his love and respect. But Cody has Roman’s word that if he shows up on SmackDown, Roman will show up alone. Cody says Roman shows up alone, no Bloodline outside of Heyman, it’s a deal. They good? Heyman has some jet lag, he forgot one little point. And don’t boo him, he’s talking to Cody! Cody says yes they’re booing, and he’s about to go full Homelander and rip Heyman’s throat out if he doesn’t get to the point. Fans like the reference. Heyman composes himself and says if Roman Reigns shows up alone this Friday on SmackDown, then Cody must show up to SmackDown alone, too.

Cody steps closer to Heyman and Heyman is a bit nervous. Cody tells Heyman, “Deal!” They shake hands, and Heyman smiles. The Wise Man negotiated a purely one-on-one meeting between his Tribal Chief and American Nightmare, but can we trust Heyman was telling the truth about Roman telling the truth?

 

Nia Jax speaks.

“You know what I’ve realized? Becky Lynch has never beaten me. And after tonight, she never will. Because after I break her face again, I will be taking her spot at WrestleMania. I will finish business with Rhea Ripley, and not only will I walk out the Last Woman Standing, but I will become Women’s World Champion.” The Irresistible Force is ready for the Big Time, but will she A-Nia-late her?

 

Cody Rhodes returns backstage.

And Jey says there he go! But real quick, Cody can’t be going to SmackDown alone. Cody says he gave them his word. But The Bloodline isn’t gonna play fair! They’re all gonna be there! If Cody needs Jey, Jeys’ got him. Cody hears that, but he knows what he’s dealing with. They shake hands and Jey heads out. Will Cody be able to have that fair, one-on-one meeting? Or does Jey have a point about The Bloodline?

 

Dominik Mysterio w/ JD McDonagh VS Ricochet!

It seems Pearce agreed to the idea that Dirty Dom should try and clean up The Irish Ace’s mess. Will Dom be able to get revenge on Ricochet? Or will Ricochet be the One and Only person holding their head high tonight?

Raw returns and Dom has made his entrance. The bell rings, Dom and Ricochet circle, and they tie up. Ricochet waistlocks, Dom fights the lift and grabs ropes. The ref counts, Ricochet lets off, but Dom ELBOWS him away! Dom fires hands, soaks up the heat, then storms up, but into haymakers! Ricochet CHOPS, kicks then flexes on Dom. Ricochet whips, Dom reverses, but Ricochet goes up and over. Ricochet ducks ‘n’ dodges to then handspring back elbow! The fans fire up while Dom bails out! JD is there to coach Dom up, but Ricochet runs in! JD gets Dom to safety, but Ricochet handsprings to hero land!

The fans fire up, Ricochet then goes to ropes to TORNILLO PLANCHA! Direct hit on Dom and Ricochet tells JD to back off. Ricochet puts Dom in, Dom distracts the ref, but JD grabs Ricochet’s leg! Ricochet kicks JD away, but then Dom WRECKS Ricochet with a dropkick! Dom soaks up the heat and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Dom has Ricochet up top. Dom climbs but Ricochet throws body shots! The fans rally behind Ricochet as he sends Dom staggering. Ricochet hops down as Dom comes running back, and Ricochet GAMANGIRIS him away! Ricochet then springboards, but Dom trips him up! Ricochet flops to the mat, then Dom kicks and FACEBUSTERS! Cover, TWO! Ricochet is still in this and JD argues the count. Dom looms over Ricochet, scuffs him around, then mockingly cheers him on. Fans boo but Dom brings Ricochet up. Dom gives some Latino Heat, then suplexes! Uno Amigo, but fans boo.

Dom gets Ricochet up but Ricochet suplexes Dom instead! And then fireman’s carry, DYNAMITE KICK! Cover, TWO! Dom is still in this and JD coaches him but the fans rally for Ricochet. Ricochet stands, storms up on Dom, but Dom shoots around to roll him up! With tights! TWO, Ricochet blocks a kick and KICKS Dom down! Ricochet hurries up top, the fans fire up, but Ricochet has to bail out of the 450 as Dom moves! Dom runs in again, but into a SUPERKICK! JD gets on the apron, so Ricochet triangle jump DROPKICKS! But then Dom DROPKICKS Ricochet onto ropes! Dom dials it up but Ricochet ducks!

Dom spins around, into the RECOIL!! Cover, Ricochet wins!

Winner: Ricochet, by pinfall

But then JD runs in! Ricochet dodges, goes up and around, BOOTS JD away, then BOOTS him again! Ricochet even flips up and out of the ring at the same time! Ricochet gets the better of Judgment Day again, just how disappointed is Mami going to be in her Latino Heat this time?

 

Sami Zayn is backstage.

He finds Chad Gable and wants to talk with him. Last week’s match, that was an honor. Sami hasn’t been pushed like that in a long time, it could’ve gone either way. Gable says yeah, it was great. Thanks. Is Gable alright? Yeah, he’s fine. Kinda feels like not… Gable says he’s fine, so leave it at that. C’mon, man, how many years have they known each other? Sami knows when something’s bothering Gable, so he should just say it. Gable says look, last week, the WrestleMania opportunity, the whole thing, it just meant more to him. Sami says he’s been hearing Gable say that for weeks, and it is really unfair.

Does Gable really think he’s the only one this title opportunity matters to? Sami has a family, too! Sami’s kid cries when Papa loses a match, too. Sami has people he’s let down and is trying to make proud. After all the years put into this, Gable can’t tell Sami what matters more because he doesn’t know Sami like that. Gable has Sami calm down, and says he knows all that. But it isn’t all about that. Then what is all this? Gable says Sami can’t beat Gunther. Gable then leaves, and Sami is at a loss for words. Is this bitter side of Gable only going to get worse as we go down this Road to WrestleMania?

 

Adam Pearce is in the ring.

Raw returns with the GM by a table, and he welcomes us to a contract signing to make official the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship for WrestleMania! The fans cheer, and Pearce introduces first, the challenger, Sami Zayn! The Great Liberator makes his entrance and the fans sing along with his song. Sami still looks troubled by what Gable said just moments ago, but he still high-fives fans and gets in the ring. Then Pearce introduces the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time, Der Ring General, GUNTHER! The fans boo as Gunther walks in, having reached Day 647!

Gunther smiles as Sami watches him make his way down the ramp and into the ring. Pearce says we know how this works, but Gunther says before we proceed, let us call this what it is: the most important contract signing for the most important match in the history of this championship. And why, why, why is the challenger dressed no better than any of the bums in the audience? Fans boo but Sami just shrugs that off. Sami gets a mic to say that Gunther keeps sitting there all smug, and it’s really starting to piss Sami off. Gunther thinks this is just another day at the office, that he’ll steamroll through Sami like any other contender.

But with all respect to Gunther, he really has. He has beaten everyone that has come his way, and has done it on his own. Gunther doesn’t believe Sami can do it. A lot of people didn’t believe Sami at many points in his career. They didn’t believe he’d even make it to WWE, let alone win championships and main event a WrestleMania. And if you ask The Usos, they didn’t believe Sami would be one of the guys to end the longest tag title reign in WWE history, but he did! And one year later, he will make history again by ending the longest Intercontinental title reign in WWE history! Sami signs his part and pushes the contract over to Gunther.

The fans cheer Sami on but Gunther waits it out. Gunther tells Sami, what Sami should do is listen to his new friend, Gable. Gable doesn’t believe Sami can win. The people here cheer Sami, they probably even love Sami. But even they don’t believe Sami can win. And y’know, when Gunther looks Sami in the eyes, and if Sami was honest with himself, even Sami doesn’t believe he can win. So what Sami is doing right now is standing on Gunther’s doorstep and begging him to get the beating of a lifetime on the Grandest Stage of Them All! So whatever Sami has to do, from training to believing, just keep doing that. Because at WrestleMania, Sami’s dreams will meet reality.

Gunther grins and signs his part, and it is now official! Gunther then stands, title on his shoulder, and takes his leave. The fans boo, but then Sami tells Gunther to wait. Gunther steps back inside to hear Sami as Sami turns around. Gunther looks in Sami’s eyes and believes Sami doesn’t believe? Sami stands to get in Gunther’s face and dares him to look again. Get a good long look, because these are the eyes of the man who will take you down at Mania! The fans fire up, and now Sami leaves first. Gunther still just grins, but will Sami use a Helluva Kick to wipe that smile off his face?

We follow Sami as he storms backstage, right past DIY and The Awesome Truth. Truth asks what’s up with Sami, but The Miz says that is the mindset of WrestleMania right there. That’s what they need. DIY wishes Awesome Truth luck. Awesome Truth knows DIY is into the ladder match, and they are gonna have their own qualifier. Miz & Truth just need to beat… Indus Sher. Jinder Mahal tells Veer & Sanga to warm up for the match. They head out, and Truth says he feels sorry for whoever has to face those guys. Miz stares at Truth, and he has DIY hold off. Miz will explain. The Awesome Truth heads to gorilla, their match is next!

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The Awesome Truth VS Indus Sher w/ Jinder Mahal!

Miz wants a remix of the theme song but Truth says to just follow his lead. NC State knows what’s up, but will the Awesome Truth finally reach the top of the tag division 13 years after they first teamed? We’ll see, after the break!

Raw returns as Indus Sher makes their entrance, the Modern Day Maharaja by their side. The teams sort out and Truth starts against Sanga. The fans echo “WHAT’S UP?!” but Sanga roars! Truth is scared now so he tags Miz. Truth fires Miz up, Miz runs up and dodges Sanga to fire off haymakers! Miz kicks, whips, but Sanga blocks! Sanga whips and CLOBBERS Miz! Jinder nods as Sanga then scoops Miz and brings him over. Veer tags in, Sanga SLAMS Miz, then Veer ELBOW DROPS! Indus Sher say “NAMASTE!” but the fans say “WHAT’S UP!?” with Truth. Veer HIP DROPS Miz, then looms over him.

Veer eggs Miz on, drags him up with shoulder claws, and then steps over Miz for the neck wrench! Miz endures as Veer still digs a claw into his shoulder. The fans rally for Miz, Miz fights up and throws body shots! Miz reaches out but Veer knees low! Veer SHOVES Miz to the corner, runs in, but Miz BOOTS! Miz ELBOWS Sanga, but Veer catches him! Veer puts Miz back int he corner, but Miz ducks the boot to tag Truth! Truth dodges Veer and starts up the shoulder tackles! Truth gets around Veer to SPIN-OUT BOMB! The fans fire up as Truth shouts out Cena with “You Can’t See Me!” Truth runs to Five Knuckle Shuffle!

Jinder is not happy now as Truth fireman’s carries! But Veer slips free! Truth drop toeholds to the STF!! The fans fire up but Sanga stomps Truth! Miz fires off kicks on Sanga, then body shots! Truth joins in, they mug and whip Sanga, to DOUBLE DROPKICK! Sanga staggers around, Veer runs up, but into a full nelson! Truth and Miz combine for a SKULL CRUSHING LIE DETECTOR!! But Sanga whips Miz away! Miz WRECKS Jinder with it, but Sanga runs up! Sanga knocks Miz down, Miz anchors Sanga, Sanga ELBOWS Truth, Truth falls onto Veer for the cover! Awesome Truth wins!!

Winners: The Awesome Truth, by pinfall (advance to WrestleMania)

The fans fire up, and Truth doesn’t even realize what happened! Miz celebrates with Truth and Truth puts it together! They’re now one of the six in the ladder match! Will this combination of teamwork and luck be just what they need to take those titles from Judgment Day?

 

Sami confronts Gable now.

Sami tells Gable to tell him why. Why what? Why does Gable think Sami can’t beat Gunther? Well you just saw why! With Gunther, it isn’t just physical, it is mental. Sami made his career out of being the underdog that crawls his way out of any hole he’s in, right? Just like last week! Sami found the window of opportunity to get out of a bad situation any time he can. Gunther’s on a different level! You gonna sit and wait for that window to appear? It doesn’t happen with Gunther! He’s a different beast, a different animal. If Sami doesn’t change his mentality, then he can’t beat Gunther. Gable leaves Sami with a lot to think again. Is there a way Sami can change enough to defeat Der Ring General?

 

CM Punk speaks.

“Do I plan at being in WrestleMania? WrestleMania is in Philadelphia, what’re the first four letters in Philadelphia? Phil. You can’t have WrestleMania Philadelphia without Phil. Whether I’m invited or uninvited, Punk will be there.” And next week in Chicago, Punk returns to Raw! Will the Second City Saint find a way to be part of the biggest WrestleMania ever?

 

Drew McIntyre is here!

The Scottish Terminator, or as his new shirt says, “The Savior of WrestleMania,” makes his way to the ring, NC State a bit torn about seeing him. But then Seth Rollins is here, too!? McIntyre is upset but the fans sing along, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” as The Visionary struts his way out. Rollins swaggers right past McIntyre in his green storm pattern suit, and steps into the ring first. McIntyre frowns as he follows Rollins in, and sits in a corner. The fans continue to sing, which Rollins revels in for a moment. Rollins has the mic to then say, “RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA~! Welcome to Monday Night Rollins~!

“And Drew, hah, sorry, I didn’t even see you there. I was too busy, uh, y’know, soaking up the spotlight, right?” McIntyre has a mic to say, “Alright, here we go.” Here goes what, Drew? McIntyre says no, no, get it all out of your system, he knows Rollins has more! McIntyre can stay in the back while Rollins enjoys the spotlight, because after WrestleMania, that spotlight’s all McIntyre’s. Hey, hey, c’mon. Rollins is here with an honest cause. Rollins doesn’t like McIntyre, he thinks he’s stupid, a hypocrite, has said a lot of dumb things lately, but Rollins is here to admit that one thing McIntyre said is absolutely right and he wants to say it to McIntyre’s face, right here in Raleigh, in front of the fine people.

Now, they always say the first step to recovery is the hardest, so bare with Rollins. He has been working on this all week, but… “My name is Seth Freakin’ Rollins, and I’m a spotlight junkie.” The fans chant “Spotlight Junkie!” and also sing, but McIntyre says everything is just a joke to Rollins, isn’t it? Look at Rollins! He’s a parody of himself at this point. But honestly, McIntyre doesn’t care. He tried reasoning, he gave the answers, and now he only cares about their match and the world title. And you wanna know the real punchline, funny man? “What?” McIntyre says they say that because they’re happy McIntyre sidelined Punk, thanks for remembering!

But the punchline is when McIntyre beats Rollins for that title. The fans chant for “C M PUNK!” but McIntyre says don’t be ridiculous. Punk’s waiting until next week to return because he’d never show up in a place like Raleigh. The fans boo but McIntyre says see, they’re booing Punk! Punk is only getting off his couch to be at his local arena. Rollins tells McIntyre to shut up already. Oh, seems McIntyre got Rollins’ attention. Rollins takes off the sunglasses to say yeah, McIntyre has his attention. Because this isn’t a joke! When Rollins says he is a junkie, it isn’t a joke! He’s been doing this for 20 YEARS! Just like McIntyre!

And every time Rollins comes out of the curtain, that’s his fix. And it gets better and better every single time. Rollins comes out here, lays it all on the line, and it just gets better and better! When he hears the fans sing the song so loud, Rollins can barely speak, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” That’s Rollins’ fix! That is the spotlight he craves, and y’know what? Rollins wants the spotlight as bright as it can possibly be. So yeah, McIntyre’s been busy online entertaining people with memes, so he hasn’t been listening to Rollins. So Rollins will get this through McIntyre’s thick skull: Night One, Rollins takes the biggest star in Hollywood and his side chick, and makes them his b*tches!

Then on Night Two, the biggest spotlight possible will be shined down on McIntyre and Rollins and the World Heavyweight Championship! McIntyre says all hail the savior, Seth Rollins! This is what McIntyre wanted! The passion and desire, not the stupid laughing and dancing. Rollins had McIntyre all the way to the finish. Rollins has done this 20 years, just like McIntyre. They’ve given their lives to this industry, and that is what the title is about! The wrestlers’ title, the workhorse championship! Rollins had McIntyre with him until he mentioned the bigger spotlight and how Rollins pins one of the biggest stars in the world.

Why can’t it just be about Rollins’ hard work to make that title, and all of McIntyre’s hard work to get this chance? Why can’t that be the reason they’re getting the biggest spotlight!? Rollins has had his priorities all backwards, McIntyre has been giving him all the answers. McIntyre said he is over the BS, and all he cares about is Rollins making it to the ring on Night Two. And if Rollins can’t walk, then McIntyre will wheel him down. If not, McIntyre will carry Rollins down. At Mania, McIntyre doesn’t get the moment he deserves. He gets the moment he has bloody EARNED. The fans do cheer that!

Rollins smirks and says, “Ah, Drew. There it is. That’s right, you wanna call me a spotlight junkie, but you want the spotlight just as bad as I do, don’t you? You’re an addict, just like I am. And you’ve been begging for spotlight for the past four years, because you won the WrestleMania main event. You did, back in 2020, in an empty warehouse. And all we’ve been hearing from Drew McIntyre for the past four years was how that wasn’t good enough. You’ve been whining and complaining and bitching and moaning that you deserve better, that you deserve more. The problem is, Drew, when everybody came back around, and the lights got bright again, what happened? You fumbled the ball.

“And that’s the difference between you and me. When the lights are the brightest, I shine, baby. I shine bright. And at WrestleMania 40, the lights are gonna be as bright as they have ever been. And you are gonna find out you are not as good as you think you are.” Rollins drops the mic, but this time McIntyre smirks. The verbal battle continues, but who will put their money where their mouth is once this one finally happens?

 

Becky Lynch speaks.

“I’m a wanted woman, and I don’t even have the title. Yet. But we’re less than three weeks away from WrestleMania, so why would I risk it all? Because I don’t know anything else. All I know is taking risks. All I know is fighting. And all I know is tonight, I’m gonna be the Last Woman Standing.” Becky is fired up to finally do what she hasn’t done in the most extreme way possible. Will she be the immovable object to Nia’s irresistible force?

 

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The New Day VS The Alpha Academy!

Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods have been W, W, E, World, Tag, Team, CHAMPIONS~, but they’ve never been a part of a title match as big as this Six Pack Ladder challenge! Will they look to be part of history once again? Or will Akira Tozawa & Otis say “A THANK YEW~!” for this golden opportunity?

Raw returns as the Academy makes their entrance. The teams sort out and Woods starts against the tree trunk, Otis. The fans rally for “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” Otis and Woods tie up, but Woods kicks low then headlocks. Otis powers up and out then runs Woods over! Otis storms up on Woods, GUT RAMS him back down, then brings him back up. Otis GUT RAMS Woods again, then runs to CLOBBER Woods! Otis swivels his hips, the fans echo “Oh~ yeah!” Otis tags Tozawa and the Academy mugs Woods. Tozawa brings Woods around but Woods CHOPS! Woods tags Kofi, he and Kofi double whip Tozawa but Tozawa holds ropes!

Tozawa fires hands, dodges Woods then BOOTS Woods down! Kofi kicks low, whips Tozawa to a corner, but Tozawa BOOTS Kofi away! Tozawa goes up to FLYING RANA! The fans fire up as Tozawa sees New Day regroup outside. Tozawa runs to DIVE! Direct hit on both New Day, and Otis joins in for “A THANK YEW~!” The Academy stands tall as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Tozawa fights a chinlock. Tozawa reaches for Otis but Woods back suplexes. Tozawa lands out to then DROPKICK Woods down! The fans rally as Woods and Tozawa crawl, hot tags to Otis and Kofi! Otis CLOBBERS Kofi, CLOBBERS him again, then whips him to ropes. WRECKER ELBOW! Woods runs in, Otis dodges, to LARIAT! Otis sees Kofi leap off the corner, and catches him for a WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM! Otis rips the shirt off, winds up the hips, and then starts up the CATERPILLAR! ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Kofi survives but Otis hurries to step on him! Tag to Tozawa, and Otis goes up!

Otis VADER BOMBS but FLOPS as Kofi moves! Tozawa hurries up top while Kofi SUPERKICKS Otis! Kofi turns around into the CROSSBODY from Tozawa! Cover, TWO! Tozawa SUPERKICKS Kofi but Woods tags in! Woods GAMANGIRIS Tozawa, then steps in to TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO! Tozawa toughs it out but Woods grits his teeth as he goes to the corner. Woods climbs, but Tozawa rises! Tozawa throws body shots, Woods CLUBS Tozawa! Tozawa throws more hands and climbs up! The fans rally as they brawl up top! Tozawa brings Woods up but Woods fights the lift! Woods throws body shots in return!

Woods shifts position to get under Tozawa for a fireman’s carry! But then Tozawa pops up to SUPER STEINER!! Tozawa rips off his shirt, climbs back up top, SUPER SENTON!! Cover, Kofi breaks it! The fans fire up but Otis drags Kofi out! Otis whips Kofi at steps, Kofi goes up and jumps off the steps to TORNADO DDT to the floor! Kofi hurries back up to the apron but Tozawa SCREW HIGH KICKS him down! Tozawa dodges Woods, pop-up, but Woods blocks the rana to then SPINNING POWERBOMB! Woods sees the WrestleMania sign, hurries up the corner, and he tightrope walks! LIMIT BREAK ELBOW!! Cover, New Day wins!

Winners: The New Day, by pinfall (advance to WrestleMania)

The New Day are the ones saying A THANK YEW~ as they put their names down for the Six Pack Ladder Match! Will they once again climb to the top of the WWE Tag Team Division and bring home those championships?

 

Liv Morgan confronts Becky Lynch.

Becky asks if she’ll have to watch out for Liv as well. Well, you should always #WatchMe, but no, not tonight. Nia is all Becky’s. Liv just wants Becky to kick Nia’s ass. Liv leaves, will Becky kick ass and then some?

 

Cody walks with his dog, Pharaoh, backstage.

Rollins finds him and brings up Friday. One on one? One on one. Rollins nods and says he loves Pharaoh’s bandanna. The Visionary trusts the American Nightmare can handle himself, but will we be able to trust The Tribal Chief?

 

Last Woman Standing: Becky Lynch VS Nia Jax!

From the origins of “The Man” in WWE to the aftermath of Elimination Chamber: Perth, these two have battled, but never as brutally as this! They’re able to go anywhere and do anything, but who will be the Last Woman Standing this close to WrestleMania 40?

The bell rings and the two rush in! Becky DROPKICKS Nia and Nia goes to a corner. Becky runs in but Nia puts Becky on the apron. Becky ROCKS Nia, goes up a corner, then leaps to MISSILE DROPKCIK! Nia stumbles and tumbles out of the ring, so Becky WRECKS her with another dropkick! Becky then goes to the apron for a FLYING FOREARM! Nia stays up, Becky tries again, but Nia dodges! Fireman’s carry and Nia POSTS Becky, to then SAMOAN DROP her into barriers! The ref counts as Becky is down, but she stands at 4 of 10. Nia CLOBBERS Becky and wants the count! The count climbs but Nia is impatient.

Nia clears off the desk, Becky stands at 5 of 10, and she leans against barriers. Becky comes back with body shots and haymakers, but Nia ROCKS her with a forearm! Becky staggers away as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Becky is bringing out a table! The fans fire up as Becky sets that up ringside. There’s been a lot of chaos during the break according to commentary, from chairs to kendo sticks to even a copy of Becky’s book, The Man: Not Your Average Average Girl! But Nia storms over to stop Becky and SMACK her off the desk! Nia puts Becky in the ring, takes that table for her own and sets it up. The table doesn’t cooperate and fans boo, but Nia goes for chairs instead. She slides those in the ring, Becky manages to stand at 7 of 10, and she grabs at those chairs. Nia ditches the table, it just doesn’t wanna work.

Nia storms in but Becky JAMS her with a chair, SMACKS her with it, then clinches! Nia fights the slam, fireman’s carries Becky, and FULL METAL SAMOAN DROPS!! Becky writhes from hitting chairs but Nia looms over her. Nia soaks up the heat as she counts along. Becky flounders to ropes and drags herself up at 7! Nia sits a chair up, fans want a table, but Nia scoops Becky. Becky slips around to a SLEEPER! Nia RAMS Becky into buckles again and again until Becky lets go. But then Becky BULLDOGS Nia off the chair! Nia is down for the count now, and Becky leans against ropes to stay up herself.

Nia stirs at 5, stands at 8, but Becky is up top! Becky leaps, into a CHAIR SHOT! Nia SMACKS Becky again and again and again! The fans boo but Nia finally stops. Nia puts that chair aside and goes out to get some kendo sticks! Nia puts those in, but Becky grabs one! Nia snatches it from her to SMACK! And SMACK! And SMACK! Becky sputters and staggers, Nia clinches and scoops! Nia SLAMS Becky onto chairs! Then Nia runs to drop the leg, brother! Nia wants the count and the count begins! Becky sputters as we reach 5 of 10. Becky grabs that kendo stick but Nia SMACKS Becky with a chair! And again!

Nia kicks Becky around, then uses the chair to take a seat on Becky’s body!! The fans boo as the count begins, but Becky SMACKS Nia with the kendo stick! And again and again and again, even in the butt! Nia stands up, into more shots! Becky stands and she fires away until Nia scurries out of the ring! Becky pursues but Nia CLOBBERS her! Nia pulls the steel steps apart now, and takes that top half to RAM Becky down! Becky flounders, Nia hauls her up and puts her in the ring. Becky’s on the apron and Nia takes aim! Nia runs up, APRN LEG DROP only gets apron! Becky avoids disaster, then has Nia by the steps! DDT onto the steel!

Nia is down again and the count begins. Nia stirs at 5 of 10, sits up at 6, but Becky SMACKS her off steps! Nia falls over again and the count resets. Becky hurries to go looking for things while Nia rises again. Becky has a new table! The fans fire up as Becky gets that in the ring. Nia stands at 7, staggers after Becky, and Raw goes back to break.

Raw returns once again and Nia mugs Becky against barriers! Nia puts Becky on a table, and surprise! There’s a ladder set up now! Nia climbs the ladder?! She also demands Pat support the ladder. But Becky gets off the table so now Nia has no reason to be up there. Nia storms after Becky, but gets a FIRE EXTINGUISHER BLAST!! The fans fire up as Becky cools Nia off, then JAMS her with the canister! Becky puts Nia in the ring, and there’s a table waiting in a corner! Becky lines up the shot, and runs in, but Nia SAMOAN DROPS Becky through the table!!! Both women are down in the wreckage and the count begins!

Nia flounders away from the wreckage but she still needs to stand. Nia is up at 5, and she isn’t satisfied with this! She drags Becky all the way to another corner and puts her in the drop zone! Nia climbs up, for the A-NIA-LATOR!! Nia shouts for the count, the count begins, and Nia storms around as she points to the Mania sign. Becky is still down at 5 of 10, only starts stirring at 7, and she slumps out of the ring to stand up! Nia is furious, goes out after Becky, and kicks things aside to keep after her. Nia asks if Becky’s vision is blurry. Nia fireman’s carries Becky up the steel steps and along the apron, aiming for that other table!

The fans freak out but Becky fights with elbows! Becky CLUBS away on Nia and the fans are thunderous! Becky then clinches, for a MANHANDLE SLAM through the table!!! Both women are down int he wreckage again, and the count begins! Becky sits up at 4 while fans are still losing their minds! We pass 5 of 10, then 7! Nia sits up at 8 and stands at 9! But then she slumps back over! The count starts again, Nia flounders around and stands at 5. Becky goes up the ladder! Becky sees Nia approaching the desk, and then SUPER MAN’S LEG DROP through the desk!!! The fans lose their minds again while both men are down in more wreckage!

The count is 5 of 10! Becky flounders and crawls, drags herself up at 9, but Nia is still down! BECKY WINS!!

Winner: Becky Lynch

The Man conquers truly one of the most intense challenges in her career! But then here comes one of the most intense champions! The fans fire up as Rhea Ripley makes her way out, Women’s World Championship in hand. She goes right to the ring and looks at Becky. Rhea “congratulates” Becky for winning, but then Becky gets in Rhea’s face! The fans fire up, and now there are no obstacles in the way of Mami VS The Man! Who will be the champion after WrestleMania 40?


My Thoughts:

A great Raw right here, though the in-ring action kinda dipped down until that awesome Last Woman Standing main event. This is one of the times I wish they’d done picture in picture so we as the TV audience could see even more action. Great win for Becky, of course, but I also like that Becky had a moment with Liv just before, and of course she had a moment with Rhea to close out the night. Great promos with Sami and Gable that also blended into the contract signing from tonight. And I suppose Gable has a point that Sami, the comeback kid, can’t do that when Gunther has an arsenal of moves that would be “finishers” given all the different ways Gunther has won over the years.

And speaking of that contract signing segment, I really liked the segue they did in following Sami so that he’d cross paths with Awesome Truth at gorilla and we’d get their segment going into their match. WWE has been doing some really creative stuff in this newest era where Vince is truly out and apparently even Kevin Dunn has moved on. Awesome Truth had a really fun but also really quick tag match with Indus Sher, and then New Day VS Alpha Academy was solid stuff, but DIY VS Creeds was such an awesome match. For a moment, I thought Creeds were gonna take this one but DIY still found a way, and I like that DIY is in. Honestly, I’m liking that the HHH favorites are getting in, because we also have New Catch Republic on the other side that can still win into the match.

Judgment Day had good stuff tonight, too. Good group promo with Andrade to tease El Idolo possibly joining, but who knows if he does. Depends on how things go for Priest. He was watching the qualifiers, he’s not worried, but maybe he should be. Granted, he still has the MITB briefcase, he could go from losing the tag titles to taking the world title, who knows how the Judgment Day’s story is going to go as we move past Mania. Dom VS Ricochet was a really good match, and Ricochet winning was the right move to keep this feud going. I think there’s going to be Ricochet VS McDonagh next week as a rematch from the gauntlet, that’ll be great stuff, too.

Candice’s Heel turn slow burn continues as she takes advantage of the “hurt” leg. Indi also does a good job of being very conflicted about this. There’s a WWE YouTube exclusive where Ivy Nile confronts Candice so that’ll be a match, and then maybe when Candice again goes too far, Indi steps in and we get a match of Candice VS Indi at some point. Good little update promo from CM Punk, he’ll have a great homecoming moment in Chicago, but also probably McIntyre coming after him. McIntyre had a great promo segment with Rollins, and with all these continued moments where the other person gets the mic drop moment, it feels like McIntyre has to win the title.

And of course, great stuff with the Bloodline story even on Raw. Jey and Jimmy have great promos in their confrontation, and of course it turns into a brawl. Good segue from that to Heyman being here, and Heyman confronting Cody during Cody’s great promo segment. Cody really went off on The Rock, that was some wild stuff. But the supposed promise of “one on one and no one else aside from Heyman” might be kept, and we get a strong promo segment on SmackDown in a foreshadowing of the fair-and-square 1v1 match. Or it is a trap and that’s more a foreshadowing of Bloodline Rules where they can do whatever they want. Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

My Score: 8.9/10


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Mitchell’s NJPW New Japan Cup Results & Report! (3/18/24)

The semifinals are here!

Published

on

We’re just one step away from the Cup!

Cold Skull faces The Fierce Warrior, and Gene Blast faces The King of Darkness, and when the smoke clears, we will have our New Japan Cup finalists!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Boltin Oleg & Shoma Kato VS Zack Sabre Jr. & Mikey Nicholls; ZSJ & Mikey win.
  • Six Man Tag: El Desperado, Tomohiro Ishii & Togi Makabe VS Just5Guys; Just5Guys win.
  • Tanga Loa & Ryusuke Taguchi VS Great-O-Khan & Callum Newman; Loa & Taguchi win.
  • Six Man Tag: YOSHI-HASHI, Toru Yano & Hiroyoshi Tenzan VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: Shota Umino, El Phantasmo, Hikuleo & YOH VS The House of Torture; Shota, ELP, Leo & Yoh win.
  • Six Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS The United Empire; LIJ wins.
  • 2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: Yota Tsuji VS EVIL; Tsuji wins and advances to the finals.
  • 2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: SANADA VS Hirooki Goto; Goto wins and advances to the finals.

PLAY BY PLAY

2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: Yota Tsuji VS EVIL w/ Dick Togo!

The Gene Blast overcame the tricks Ren Narita tried, but that’s because the House of Torture was saving all the good stuff so they could slay the Rampaging Dragon. Will the deck be even more stacked to make sure Everything is Evil’s? Or will Yota be one step away from LIJ VS LIJ at Sakura Genesis?

Well, Dick is making his way out here, but where is Evil? Oh, there he is. No tricks just yet it seems. But then Yota DIVES onto Evil! The fans fire up but Dick attacks Yota! Dick whips, Yota stops himself, and then scoops Dick for a BACKBREAKER! The fans fire up and Yota wants the bell. The ref says yes, ring the bell, and this is on the record! Yota stomps and CLUBS Evil, then whips, but Evil reverses! Yota hits railing, and then Evil whips him into more railing! Evil CHOKES Yota against the railing, Yota fights back, but the ref gets knocked aside! Evil puts Yota in so he and Dick can stomp away!

The fans boo but here comes the rest of the House already! Narita, Yujiro, Kanemaru and Jack all stomp away on Yota, but here come Bushi & Hiromu! It’s a replay of yesterday as LIJ fights off the House, but the numbers are still against them! The ref rushes in to tell everyone to stop! Evil shoves the ref out of the ring, Yota fires off on him, but Evil CLAWS Yota’s eyes! The House CHOKES LIJ, but the ref says stop! The bell rings, but what is the decision!? NO CONTEST!?

No Contest

What does this mean!? Someone has to advance, right? The finals aren’t until the 20th, how can there be a no contest? The House started this, where’re the consequences?! Yota gets up but Evil TOSSES him back out! LIJ regroups and Yota asks for a mic. Yota tells Evil that he’s sick and tired of this! They ARE gonna finish this match! The fans like the sound of that! All the refs come out, including Red Shoes, to discuss how this will be handled. For starters, they tell all the extras to get outta here! LIJ is cool with that, and Hiromu tells the House to come along. Evil says fine, and Jack, Kanemaru, Narita, Yujiro and even Dick reluctantly exit.

The announcement is officially made, and the bell rings! Yota and Evil rush in, Evil kicks low but Yota CLUBS away on Evil! Evil CLAWS the eyes! Evil kicks, runs, RAMS, but Yota rebounds to run Evil over! Then run and SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Yota fires up and the fans are with him! Evil bails out but the fans rally for Yota. Evil wants Yota to stay back, then he slides in, only to slide right out! Yota runs out after Evil, but Evil kicks him! Evil RAMS Yota into the timekeeper! Abe-san and his table go flying! Evil gets the mic to tell Yota that this is what he gets! The fans boo but Evil tells them off, too! Evil stomps Yota then soaks up the heat.

Evil unties the blue buckle pad himself, then waits in the ring. The ref checks Yota and the fans rally up again. The Young Lions help Abe-san while Yota drags himself up. Yota slides in, the fans cheer, but Evil pulls on Yota’s hair! Evil wrenches the hair, then wrenches it again! And again! Evil CLUBS the hair! The ref reprimands but Evil just dusts off his hands. Evil covers, but the ref refuses to count! Evil is furious but he’s the one up to no good! The ref still says no, so Evil stands on Yota’s head. The fans rally up, Yota rises, and he grins as he winds up to ROCK Evil with a forearm! And ROCK him with another!

Yota ROCKS Evil again, but Evil whips him into the bare buckles! Yota falls and the ref reprimands about the missing buckle pad. Evil stomps Yota, covers, TWO! The fans cheer but Evil is annoyed. Evil scuffs Yota, taunts him, and drags him up. Evil CHOPS, Yota drops to his knees, but Evil stands him back up. Evil CHOPS again and Yota grits his teeth as he drops to his knees! Evil stands Yota up again, to fake the chop to CLAW the eyes! The ref reprimands, Evil lets off, and then Evil stands on Yota in a corner. The ref counts, Evil lets go of the ropes but that’s not the problem! Evil steps away, drags Yota up but claims he’s dead weight.

The ref checks, Evil stands Yota up and wrenches an arm. Evil whips Yota into a corner, runs in, but into a BOOT! Evil runs in again, blocks the boot, but Yota brings Evil in for the STOMP! The fans fire up while Yota rests on the mat. The fans rally up and Yota rises again. Evil’s in the corner, runs out, but into the BACKBREAKER! COMPLETE SHOT! STOMP! The fans fire up again as Yota stands back up. Yota runs, to CURB STOMP!! Yota roars and the fans fire up again! Evil flounders while Yota aims. Yota runs in, but the ref is used as a shield! Evil kicks Yota low, then uses the ref in MAGIC KILLER!

All three men are down while the fans rally up again. Evil stands, he brings Yota up, and the ref also rises. Evil whips Yota into the bare buckles, then clotheslines him in! Then FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, but Evil lets off?! Evil wants to torture Yota but it’s hard to say if Yota is still even in this. Yota opens his eyes, rises up, but Evil fireman’s carries! DARKNESS FALLS! Cover, TWO!! Yota survives, the fans fire up, but Evil is furious! Evil slashes his throat and vows to end this now! Evil drags Yota up, spins him around, but Yota fights the STO with elbows! Evil kicks low, whips again, but Yota stops from hitting buckles!

Evil runs in, Yota dodges and Evil hits the buckles! SUPERKICK!! Both men are down again and the fans fire back up! We’re only ten minutes into this new match but this is on top of the madness from earlier. Evil drags Yota up, but Yota ROCKS Evil! Evil fights Yota’s fireman’s carry and CLUBS him, but both men wobble. Evil LARIATS, but Yota stays up! The fans fire up but Evil swings to LARIAT again! Yota drops to a knee, but he grins through the pain! Evil says alright, and he throws off his elbow pad. Evil runs to LARIAT! Yota grits his teeth to stay up! V-TRIGGER! Yota brings Evil in, suplexes, ORANGE CRUSH! Cover, TWO!!

Evil is still in this but the fans rally behind Yota again. Yota rises, drags Evil up, and then goes to the corner. Yota goes up and up and Evil moves the ref into the way! The ref takes the FLYING CURB STOMP!!! And now the House returns! The fans boo as Kanemaru, Dick, Yujiro, Narita & Jack all stomp away on Yota again! The fans tell them to go home, again, but these guys don’t care! They just put one out on Yota. They whip Yota to a corner, then DIck runs in to ELBOW! Kanemaru ELBOWS! Yujiro BOOTS! Jack SPLASHES! Narita ELBOWS! Then they snapmare and set Yota up! Dick climbs for the DICK CHOP!!

The fans boo but the House applauds their own dirtiness. But here come Bushi & Hiromu again! But they just get mugged again! They set Hiromu up for the DICK CHOP, while Bushi gets a JACK CHOP! The House then slithers away before a replacement ref rushes out here. Evil drags Yota up, winds up and runs, to LARIAT!! Cover, TWO!!! Yota survives and the fans are thunderous! Evil is at a loss for words, but he slashes his throat! He vows to end it for real, and he reels Yota in. EVERYTHING IS- Yota flips through!? And HEADBUTTS!! The fans fire up as Yota reels Evil in for a fireman’s carry! 70 CROSS!! Cover, TWO!!

Evil survives the swinging spinebuster and the House cheers! Yota drags himself to a corner, drags himself up with the ropes, and roars as he takes aim! Evil rises, but Yujiro distracts! Dick runs in, but gets a V-TRIGGER! The ref sees Dick, but misses the LOW BLOW! Then Evil RAMS Yota into the ref! That’s the second ref this match! Narita gets his push-up bar! The others set Yota up, but here comes SHINGO TAKAGI! The Rampaging Dragon has seen enough, and he’s still pissed from yesterday as it is! He dodges Narita to PUMPING BOMBER! Kanemaru & Yujiro kick Takagi, double whip, but he DOUBLE PUMPING BOMBERS!!

Jack gets in, but he gets ELBOW, JAB and YUKON LARIAT! Evil runs up but Takagi SWATS Evil’s lariat to JAB! Then feed to Hiromu’s SUPERKICK! Hiromu & Takagi set Evil up for Bushi’s BLACK MIST!! Evil can’t see, the PUMPING BOMBER turns him inside-out!! The fans are thunderous as LIJ helps Yota up! Red Shoes hurries out here, and Yota aims at Evil! GENE BLASTER!!! Cover, Yota wins!!!

Winner: Yota Tsuji, by pinfall (advances to the finals)

The House of Torture ran out of tricks, and now there is light at the end of the tournament! Will Yota do LIJ proud and bring home the Cup?

 

2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: SANADA VS Hirooki Goto!

One down, one to go. Yota Tsuji has made it through, now we see who joins him in the finals! Will the Cold Skull or Fierce Warrior be the one that steps closer to former glory?

The bell rings and the fans duel between “GO-TO-O!” and “SA-NA-DA!” Red Shoes measures the levels, and it seems to slightly favor Goto. Goto and Sanada circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Goto gets some leverage to put Sanada against ropes, but he lets off slowly. Goto pats Sanada on the shoulders and the fans cheer. The two reset, circle again, and tie up again. It’s another deadlock, but again Goto finds a way to put Sanada on ropes. Sanada turns things around, lets off slowly, and also pats Goto on the shoulders. The fans applaud and the two reset again. They feel things out, knuckle lock, then move to a clinch.

They fight for control, Sanada starts pushing Goto towards a corner but Goto slips away. They feel things out, knuckle lock again, then break. They tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, Goto waistlocks, but Sanada wrenches to wristlock. Goto rolls, wrenches, wristlocks, but Sanada spins, wrenches, only for Goto to roll! Goto gets a leg to trip Sanada up, and he has a toehold. Sanada fights back with a chinlock but Goto pulls on the leg. Sanada uses his free leg to hook Goto into an ARMBAR, but Goto clasps hands! Goto moves around, pops free, then headlocks. Sanada fights up, Goto grinds the headlock, but Sanada throws body shots.

Sanada powers up and out, but Goto runs him over! The fans rally as things speed up, and Goto counters hip toss with hip toss! Goto runs and he clotheslines Sanada up and out! The fans fire up and Goto slides out after Sanada. Goto stomps Sanada, drags him up, then CLUBS him on the neck! Sanada staggers, Goto CHOPS him, then kicks him, then CLUBS him! Goto whips but Sanada stops himself from hitting railing! Goto runs in but Sanada drop toeholds him into the railing! Goto goes down in a heap, but Sanada opens the gate. Sanada brings Goto through, then to the crowd! PILEDRIVER to the bare floor!

The fans are stunned but Red Shoes reprimands. Sanada leaves Goto behind and slides into the ring. The fans rally for Goto as the ring count begins. Goto crawls at 5 of 20, finds his way to ringside at 10, but still hobbles and crawls. He stands at 17 to slide in! The fans cheer, but Sanada stomps Goto. Sanada drags Goto up, CLUBS him on the neck, then brings him back up to CLUB him again. Goto CHOPS! And CHOPS! Sanada eggs Goto on so Goto CHOPS again! Goto whips, Sanada reverses to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Cover, TWO! Sanada keeps cool and sits Goto up into a chinlock. Goto endures and the fans rally again.

Goto kicks forward, reaches out, but Sanada cranks on the hold! Goto keeps fighting, and has the ROPEBREAK! Sanada lets go cleanly, but then he stomps Goto while he’s down. Sanada then stands Goto up to CLUB him on the neck. Goto CHOPS in return! And CHOPS, and CHOPS, and has Sanada in a corner! Goto CHOPS again, then whips corner to corner. Goto runs in, but Sanada BOOTS first! Sanada runs, Goto follows, and Goto LARIATS Sanada down! The fans fire up and Goto rises, clutching his neck. Goto stands Sanada up to fire off forearms, then he whips corner to corner. Goto runs in, MURAMASA!

Sanada wobbles, into the SAIDO! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up while Goto grits his teeth. Goto drags Sanada up, fireman’s carries, but Sanada fights free! Sanada waistlocks, Goto throws elbows, then runs. Sanada hurdles, hurdles, and DROPKICKS! Goto tumbles out of the ring, Sanada PLANCHAS him down! The fans fire up and Sanada encourages them to get louder. The fans get louder and Sanada appreciates it. Sanada then goes back for Goto, brings him up and puts him in the ring. Sanada fireman’s carries but Goto throws elbows! Sanada turns around into Goto’s fireman’s carry, but then slips out into the dragon sleeper!

But Goto arm-drags free! Sanada kicks low, runs, but Goto follows! Sanada dodges this time, runs again, but Goto still follows! Sanada sidesteps this time, but Goto holds ropes to avoid the hurdle! Goto runs in, but Sanada fireman’s carries! T K O! Cover, TWO! Goto is still in this and the fans rally up! Sanada goes up the corner, ROUNDING BODY- NO, Sanada has to land out as Goto moves! Sanada runs in, but into the fireman’s carry! USHIGOROSHI! Both men are down and the fans fire up again! They cheer on “GO-TO-O!” but the “SA-NA-DA!” chants are still there. Red Shoes checks them both, and both men slowly rise.

The two crawl towards each other, and Goto fires a forearm! Sanada shakes his head, eggs Goto on, so Goto throws another! Goto eggs Sanada on, so Sanada fires a forearm! Goto fires a forearm back, and the two stand. Sanada UPPERCUTS! Goto comes back to forearm! Sanada UPPERCUTS again, and Goto drops back to a knee! The fans rally, Goto stands again, and he forearms! UPPERCUT, forearm, repeat! Goto growls, fires a flurry of forearms, and he ROCKS Sanada! Sanada drops to his hand and knees but Goto powers up! Goto KICKS but Sanada blocks! Goto fires more forearms, then waistlocks, but Sandaa fights free!

Sanada runs, but Goto fireman’s carries! And he throws Sanada into the dragon sleeper! But Sanada turns around and suplexes, for MAGIC SCREW! Both men are down again and the fans fire back up! Sanada roars as he rises up, and he aims from a corner. Sanada wants Goto to get up, and Goto sits up, into the SHINING WIZARD! Sanada then dragon sleepers, for the SKULL END!! Goto endures, flails, reaches out, but he’s caught in the body scissors! Goto fights around but he’s fading! The fans rally, Goto’s hand drops! Sanada lets him go to then climb! ROUNDING BODY PRESS! Cover, TWO!!

The fans fire up as Goto survives but Sanada storms around. Sanada drags Goto up, reels him in and clinches, but Goto slips free to shove Sanada away! Sanada forearms, ROLLING- HEADBUTT from Goto! The fans fire up and duel, and Goto drags Sanada up. But Sanada breaks free! Goto HEADBUTTS again! Sanada falls back down and Goto steadies himself. Goto roars, the fans are with him, and Goto sits Sanada up. Goto runs to PENALTY KICK! Shoutout to Shibata and the fans fire up more! Sanada grits his teeth as he sits back up but Goto takes aim! BUZZSAW! And then he hauls Sanada up to dragon sleeper! G T- BACKSLIDE COUNTER! TWO!!!

Sanada and Goto hurry up, Sanada dodges to O’Conner BRIDGE!! TWO?!!? Goto escapes and shocks everyone! Sanada resets, runs in, SHINING WIZARD!! The fans are thunderous as Sanada roars and drags Goto back up! Clinch and DEAD- NO, Goto slips around to ripcord and fireman’s carry! G T W!! Cover, TWO?!?!? Sanada survives but Goto is all fired up! The fans are thunderous as Goto dragon sleepers for G T R!!! Cover, GOTO WINS!!!

Winner: Hirooki Goto, by pinfall (advances to the finals)

Don’t call it a comeback, Goto’s been here for years! Sanada’s hopes of being IWGP World Heavyweight Champion again have been delayed, how long must he wait for another chance?

As for Goto, he’s going back to the New Japan Cup Finals for the first time since 2016, and his seventh overall! But before he can get the mic to speak, Yota makes his way back out here. Yota steps into the ring and he gets the mic first. Yota tells Goto, “In order to open the door to a new era, we must do this.” The fans applaud that, and Yota continues by asking Goto, “Are you ready?!” Yota drops the mic at Goto’s feet, and Goto stands up to speak. “I also have something I want to show you. As a three-time New Japan Cup Champion, I will show you my strength.” The fans like the sound of that!

The Fierce Warrior stares down with Gene Blast, a true generational showdown on the horizon! Will Goto return not juts to former glory, but finally ascend to top of NJPW? Or will Yota make it LIJ VS LIJ for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship?


My Thoughts:

A great semifinal round for this tournament, with quite a surprising main event. Sanada VS Goto was great stuff, and while I felt Sanada wasn’t winning the Cup, I didn’t think he’d be out this round. Yota VS Evil was rather creatively put together, too. I did not think the House would get so involved that at first it was a No Contest but then they restart under a ringside ban. Takagi making sure Yota won was good stuff, too, maybe we can get Takagi VS Evil for the NEVER Openweight Championship if they’re not gonna circle back to more Shota Umino VS House of Torture stuff.

Goto VS Yota is going to be great stuff, and Goto is clearly a top utility guy. He’s had so many New Japan Cup finals appearances, certainly among the most ever, but I don’t think he gets a fourth Cup win against Yota, one of the “new era Musketeers” that NJPW clearly loves. Yota VS Naito is definitely the title match for Sakura Genesis.

My Score: 8.9/10


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