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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (4/2/21)

Fallout from the Triforciversary!

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Hyrule News 2021

We hear from the stars of HPW in the shadow of the Anniversary!

How the Second Triforce Tournament ended sent shockwaves through all of Hyrule! What will the tournament’s “winner” have to say about it?

 

After the Death Mountain Open Challenge:

Groose walks in, icepack on his neck.

“Hoo, boy! That Gold Lynel. He’s a beast. Big, strong and mean, no wonder he was dominating the Octagon. No wonder he dominates the squared circle!” Groose was honored that HPW would choose him, but maybe they underestimated Lynel, or overestimated him. Groose will need a minute to feel 100% after this one. Groose walks away, but will he look to climb Death Mountain again?

Gold Lynel walks in, and right up to the camera.

“That was a good start. But give me better next time.” With that, he walks away, grabbing another water. Who will HPW find to take on the One True Monster next time?

 

After the Termina Championship Fatal 4 Way #1 Contender’s Match:

Teba walks in first, icepacks on neck and head.

“Well, what a great debut for me, huh? Big match, big stage, big loss. But that’s okay! I can only go up from here! You’ll be seeing more of me, I promise you that.”

Rosso walks in next, coughing a bit.

A staff member gets Rosso water and he takes long chugs. He thanks the staff member then talks to the camera. “Anyone out there ever taken a beak to the sternum? Not gonna lie, it hurts, and really takes the air out of ya.” Rosso commends all three opponents on that match, and congratulates Osphala on winning. Rosso hopes Osphala gets Igos du Ikana good whenever that HyruleMania rematch happens. Rosso then nods to everyone and hopes to see them on better circumstances next time.

Doomknocker walks in but isn’t even bothering with the camera.

“Didn’t get at one belt, but there’s still three belts out there!” Knocker walks off, and as we know now, he found Dark Hammer and Gooma backstage.

Osphala walks in, looking very determined.

“Igos du Ikana. You used the Captain of the Guard against me at HyruleMania, all because I got that close to taking your title from you. I respected you, but that’s why I didn’t think you’d do it. You ruined that moment for me, for yourself, for all of us. So I’m going to ruin your reign.” Will the Gleaming Yellow Light look to go down a dark path against the Termina Champion?

 

After the Trios Championships match:

HPW referees and officials escort trios in.

The Desert Flowers, the Ikana Royal Family and the Three Masters are still heated after how things turned into chaos, but King Nicolas Foolyere keep them from brawling backstage. They all shout at him to do something about this and he promises he will. But how is HPW going to handle the turmoil in the Trios Division?

Forged By Violence storms in next.

Iron Knuckle says, “We’re not mad about how the UnderWorld Order won. That was good use of numbers and misdirection. But we’re pissed at ourselves for letting that be what beats us. We’re warriors, tacticians, strategists. We’re smarter than this.” Knuckle does commend all those other teams for coming out to pounce on an opportunity. “No guaranteed rematches in HPW. Everyone earns everything here. But that doesn’t mean we won’t earn our rematch.”

The Doom Bringers enter.

Knocker returns with Hammer and Gooma and he feels pretty good about himself. “That’s how you send a message, fellas! That’s how you make a statement! That’s how you stake your claim in this Division! UnderWorld Order, ya bunch of Halloween decorations, don’t get comfortable! You ain’t having those belts for long! See you soon.” Will the Doom Bringers be the ones to challenge the uWo first?

The uWo finally enter, not in a good mood.

Hollywood ReDead shouts, “Where the hell are they?! Doom Bringers! DOOM BRINGERS! You sons o’ bitches!” ReDead tips the table over and lets the water bottles fly while Death Sword speaks. “See, you boys made a mistake. You thought you could just attack from behind, pick a fight, and then let everyone else fight for you. But if you want these titles, you have to take us on directly. There won’t be a dozen people in the way, it’ll be 3-on-3. And your three doesn’t measure up to our three.” Gomess adds that “bringing doom isn’t going to do a damn thing. We bring DEATH!”

ReDead stops pacing around angrily to pick a water up off the ground and chug it. Then he angrily sputters with water going everywhere, “Whatcha gonna do, brother, when the UnderWorld Order runs wild, on YOU?!”

 

After the Triforce Championship match:

Zelda walks in, shouldering her Goddess Championship.

“That was… That was good. I lost, but that was still a good match. Y’know, give it your all and there are no regrets.” HPW media asks about the kiss. “Oh, I dunno. It was just the cheek. It’s whatever.” And don’t think she didn’t hear about posts online “shipping” the two of them together. “That’s… That’s inappropriate.” But moving on from that and from the loss, Zelda is going to defend her championship. She is ready for whoever wants after the belt. “May, June, July, I want a match for every one of those events and beyond.” Who will step up to take on this fighting Goddess?

Link walks in and sits at the table.

He sets the Triforce Championship up for cameras to see while sitting with a bottle of milk. HPW media asks if he feels good after the match, and he nods, “Yes.” They noticed he hesitated when going for Light Arrow near the end. Was he worried about hurting Zelda? Link shrugs, scratches the back of his head. Did he at least enjoy the kiss? Link has a sly smirk as he looks at the camera. Another reporter asks if Link is going to be a fighting champion on the same level as Zelda. Link nods and sits up straight. Link grabs the belt but before he can say anything, there’s a stir going on. That’s because the Second Triforce Tournament Finals just finished in the shocking fashion we all saw!

Link listens as Hilda, Yuga and Ravio reveal their “master plan,” how Hilda wishes it was going to be a double champion Zelda she was facing, and making it seem like Link is the consolation prize. All of that and “All Hail Hilda!” makes Link angry! Will he make “Her Grace” and her minions pay for what they’ve done? Speaking of…

 

After the Second Triforce Tournament Finals:

Hilda, Yuga and Ravio walk in together.

Ravio pulls out the chair for Hilda, and Yuga carries in the first-ever Triforce Tournament Trophy for her. Hilda sits down, Yuga carefully sets the trophy on the table, and Ravio uses a Ravio branded corkscrew to open up a bottle of wine, which surprisingly isn’t Ravio branded. He pours a glass for Hilda, and the glass has a Ravio logo on it. Hilda swishes the wine, lets the aroma waft into her nose, then takes a sip. She seems satisfied with Ravio’s selection and finally speaks. “I know no one was happy about how my associates and I made our ways to the Bracket Finals. We bent the rules, got the better of those who foolishly underestimated us, and got to compete on the Triforce Anniversary.

“Whether you like it or not, I am your second-ever winner of the Triforce Tournament. Where in the rules does it say that wrestlers can’t work together in a Triple Threat? And whether you like it or not, I am going to be your next Triforce Champion.” HPW let the first tournament winner, the first Triforce Champion, Link, wait a long time before he had to defend his title. Link is champion again, but Hilda won’t let history repeat itself. Hilda demands that at the very next HPW event, she gets her title match. “That way, there’ll still be some shine on this trophy when I set it beside the title.”

Hilda takes another sip of wine, but seems a little disappointed. “Hmm… Doesn’t last that long, does it? Much like Link’s reign!” Hilda laughs, splashes a staff member with the wine, then leaves with Ravio and Yuga following behind. Will Her Grace soon crown herself the Champion of Hyrule?


My Thoughts:

And we’re off! Year two of HPW, and we’ve already got Link VS Hilda on the schedule. I have stuff planned for May already, mostly around that match and the Trios Championships, but I should be able to squeeze in another Gold Lynel match, and maybe something for the HPW Women’s Division. I don’t know if there are a lot of possibilities, but there are some good ones to choose from.


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Bandwagon Nerds #227: Superhero Madness- Part 1

Superhero Madness begins with first round battles in the Mutants & Genetics bracket, plus Invincible Season 2 returns with a bang!

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario

This week, the Nerds embark on one of their most ambitious projects yet….Superhero Madness. It’s BWN’s own version of March Madness as we have selected 64 of the greatest Marvel and DC heroes to grace the big and small screens in a colossal battle to determine just who is the greatest superhero of all-time. This week’s opening round matchups feature Mutants & Genetics, including some of our favorites such as Moon Knight, Namor, Ms. Marvel, Wolverine, and many others. Which heroes will mutate their way to the Round of 32? All that plus the Nerds resume their review of Season 2 of Invincible, can only speculate about a shocking firing at Marvel, and get rather excited about the Teen Titans getting a live-action movie.

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About Bandwagon Nerds

Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd, and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

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Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

Featuring shows such as POD is WAR (sports, entertainment & sports entertainment) Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture), The DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect), The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling), The #Miranda Show (wrestling and entertainment), Hockey Talk (sports), Patrick O’Dowd’s 5×5 (pop culture), The Outsider’s Edge (wrestling), Down The Wire (Sports), Talk The Keki (Anime), The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, Attitude Of Aggression/The Big Four (wrestling), and more!


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Talk the Kēki: The Top 30 Anime of 2023 Part 1

It’s time for the final episode of Talk the Kēki! Mat and Ethan are once again joined by Starman and Chris as they start with their watchlist of 2024 and talk about the future of the show.

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 It’s time for the final episode of Talk the Kēki! Mat and Ethan are once again joined by Starman and Chris as they start with their watchlist of 2024 and talk about the future of the show. Then they’ll close it off with their Top 25 Anime of 2023 to finish the year off. What was their anime of the year? Tune in now!

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About the Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

Featuring shows such as POD is WAR (sports, entertainment & sports entertainment) Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture), The DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect), The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling), The #Miranda Show (wrestling and entertainment), Hockey Talk (sports), Patrick O’Dowd’s 5×5 (pop culture), The Outsider’s Edge (wrestling), Down The Wire (Sports), Talk The Keki (Anime), The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, Attitude Of Aggression/The Big Four (wrestling), and more!


The Chairshot Radio Network
Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts and radio shows!

All Shows On Demand

Listen on your favorite platform!

iTunes  |  iHeart Radio  |  Google Play  |  Spotify
Listen, like, subscribe, and share!


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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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