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Mitchell’s Talking Smack Report! (4/3/21)

Will Talking Smack Embrace the Vision?

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WWE Talking Smack

WrestleMania is just a week away!!

Sami Zayn, Seth Rollins, Natalya and Tamina all join Kayla Braxton and Paul Heyman for a penultimate edition of Talking Smack before WrestleMania!

 

Kayla Braxton welcomes us back to the show!

Just ONE WEEK AWAY from WrestleMania~, and Kayla is pumped! There was one heck of a SmackDown, too! Kayla asks Paul Heyman how he’s doing. He mockingly repeats, “Ey, yo, how you doin’?” What kind of greeting is that? Well she knew he wasn’t in the greatest of moods, which he usually isn’t anyway, but especially with SmackDown this week, he might be a bit “tiffy.” Is that even a word? It is now! Well the Special Counsel- Why is she talking over him? Just to talk about Sami Zayn’s conspiracy? Well the trailer premiere didn’t go as Sami planned, and Sami will surely discuss that later. Kayla’s a morning person, isn’t she?

The other guests this week are two women who have been shaking things up in the Women’s Tag Division in Natalya & Tamina, and the man who avoided one more swing from Cesaro in Seth Rollins! Heyman asks if he’s throwing Kayla off at all. A little. Aw~, sorry~! Kayla says applications for a new cohost will be taken after WrestleMania. Oh? Where’s Kayla going? ESPN? They’ll hire anyone nowadays. Kayla gets to the business that happened at SmackDown. Daniel Bryan was standing tall in the main event, and there’s footage replaying of Bryan hammering Jey Uso with the steel chain wrapped elbow, and then clamping on the Yes Lock!

Heyman says Kayla says things the wrong way. It isn’t A main event at WrestleMania, it is THE main event at WrestleMania. Bryan is “just a guy.” The guy on top of the world! But he’s not the end all, be all, Head of the Table. Yeah, just the guy who tapped Roman Reigns out. Oh, so then Bryan’s the Universal Champion? Congratulations, Bryan, on defeating Roman! Oh but Kayla and her “little butterflies” and too much caffeine in her system, if Bryan tapped Roman, why isn’t he champion? Because he (technically) didn’t tap out Roman Reigns! And he won’t tap out Roman Reigns at WrestleMania, and Roman will retain, and that’s not a prediction, it’s a spoiler.

Jinx, Heyman owes her a coke. A what? A Coca Cola. Good, he thought she was referencing the Freebirds from the 1980’s. Kayla moves things on and Heyman says he’s in no mood given it’s “fight week.” And he says they’re going to talk during the commercial.

 

Talking Smack encores Justice for Sami: the official trailer.

 

Sami Zayn joins Talking Smack!

He isn’t in the best mood, and is still in his golden tux, jacket slung on his shoulder. He walked the streets all night and hasn’t really slept. But he’s glad to be here. Sami says it’s been a rather strange 24 hours. He wants to talk with Heyman. He wants to address a couple weeks ago, where he thanked Heyman for just blurting out that he was part of the massive conspiracy while executive director on Raw. That was the smoking gun that connected everything! Heyman then called Sami a prick behind his back, which is fine.

But then he went from Honest Paul to the world-famous Deflecting Heyman. Heyman started doing his “thing,” saying it wasn’t his fault, it was Kevin Owens who said things. Kayla likes Sami’s impression of Heyman. Sami almost dismissed all of that. “Even geniuses make mistakes!” Sami made one, because he dismissed Heyman’s words. But Sami thought it over after last night’s SmackDown, Sami has a hard time believing Kevin is NOT part of this! Sami sees what Heyman is saying. Kevin is in on it! Kevin has betrayed Sami so many times they can’t even count. What Kevin did last night was the worst thing he’s done ever, the most personal betrayal.

Do you know how hard it is to get someone as influential as Logan Paul to come here? And then Kevin pulls a SNAKE move, telling Logan that Sami is delusional! The only reason after walking all night, looking for a form a clarity, is because Sami got an ounce of revenge as he attacked Kevin back. Then at WrestleMania will be Sami’s sweet revenge on Kevin! Sami apologizes to Heyman for dismissing what he said and he is man enough to apologize. Sami tells Kayla he doesn’t take anything she’s done personally, but we all saw the trailer. The documentary is coming out, and when it does, Sami wants to hear it from Kayla.

Kayla has been one of his biggest detractors and doubters, but his documentary will show her, and he wants to hear from her first. Production is telling Kayla we have to wrap this segment and move on. Heyman says this is the conspiracy! Sami says “of course” there’s no time. But the documentary will make it so they have nothing but time for Sami! Oh~ there’s the music~! Time to leave~! Heyman again claims this is all Kayla, no one was telling Heyman this segment was over. Kayla keeps things moving along and says that after the break, we’ll meet with the second generation superstars shaking things up!

 

Tamina & Natalya join Talking Smack!

The Queen of Harts and Daughter of Superfly are here, Heyman jabbers on but Kayla welcomes the guests. Natty says thanks and compliments both Heyman and Kayla on their looks today. Kayla also congratulates Natty for pinning one half of the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions. “Statement makers, bone breakers, title takers,” it felt good beating one half. And then it was better putting the rest of the Women’s Tag Division on notice! You think they’re afraid of Lana? She’s like Malibu Barbie. You think they’re afraid of Naomi? She can barely do a toe touch these days. You think they’re afraid of Mandy & Dana? Nope!

And after tonight, Nia Jax isn’t family to Tamina Snuka. Nia would stab anyone in the back to win. And it’s WrestleMania season! Are they excited to be here? Heyman is. Not only is Natty rich, beautiful, smart, funny and talented, she’s the #BOAT, and Tamina is the #YACHT. But what’s most exciting is WrestleMania Season. But what’s missing? Tamina says it’s them! Natty says what’s missing is the WOMEN! The WOMEN need to be the main event! No more screwing around! As exciting as it is to be here, they’re leaving no stone left unturned! They’re not following the directive, they ARE the directive! Was that good enough for an answer? Was it politically correct enough?

Is Natty sweet enough, kind enough, pretty enough? Should she knock on Vince’s door and ask what THE HELL he wants from her? She’s tired of being a good girl! Being a good girl and a doormat got her NOWHERE! Doormats get walked on, BITCH! Tamina calms Natty down and Kayla says it is very clear these two have passion as a team and about the Women’s Division as a whole. Heyman says he loves these two. If he hasn’t proven it over the years, with the support and texting, Natty is like his own sister. But he wants her to cut the shit. Stop bitching and moaning and complaining. DO something.

If knocking on Vince’s door, or even kicking it down, or even taking Vince down and stretching him out doesn’t get it, then just smack everyone around on the roster until they’re the only two left! Just get rid of those in your way! There shouldn’t be anyone in their way because they’ve earned their spots for years! They didn’t fall off a cliff, they’ve been deserving of this the whole time! If Natty’s father saw this, he’d be pulling the hair off of his chin, then the chin off of his face. And if Natty’s grandfather saw this, he’d slap her dad around for raising her this way! Heyman won’t even say anything about Tamina’s dad, either!

If they want to be on Mania, get their asses on Mania! Impose your wills! That’s what their families have always been about! They’re part of dynasties! If they’re leaving you off, you make sure you get back on! Tamina gets up, pushes her chair away and gets in Heyman’s face. She is seething, but not at Heyman. She says, “Okay.” She accepts what Heyman is saying, and heads out with Natty. Will any duo be meana than Natty & Tamina?

 

Seth Rollins joins Talking Smack!

“The Drip King” still has his purple tie-dye. Kayla says he looks like an Easter egg. Rollins loved it so much on SmackDown, he washed it, got it pressed, and brought it back to wear here. Kayla does love it. Heyman says this is his honor to have Rollins here. Rollins hopes he’ll relay his regards to the Tribal Chief. So how is everyone doing? Great? What questions does Kayla have? Well she sees he’s in great spirits. The Easter egg look is fitting because it’s Easter weekend. Yes, ’tis the season! Kayla says Rollins escaped unscathed, no swings from Cesaro. Rollins interrupts. He knows this is done live, they can’t really redo this, but her choice of words…

Heyman wants to tag in here. Rollins isn’t sure the implications. Heyman says Rollins is a visionary. he saw how to avoid the swing. They’re a week away from Mania, why would Rollins put himself in a situation? Does anyone understand what kind of asset Rollins is to this company and this industry? Heyman does. Cesaro doesn’t, and it seems Kayla doesn’t. Rollins helps pay her salary, by being on SmackDown and in the ThunderDome. He is why she has a job. He won’t get carried away, like the other guests. Heyman says Rollins is right, he’s above that. Rollins’ vision is above that, and it doesn’t include a loss of integrity. Rollins agrees, he is above that.

What else does Kayla have? Well, Cesaro has never had a 1v1 Mania match, but Rollins is no stranger to Mania. Does that give Rollins the win already? Is Cesaro even a formidable opponent? The fact these two shared a ring last night, talking about Mania, means that Cesaro IS formidable. There’s nothing in doubt there. Cesaro is stepping into the ring with Rollins and Rollins must take him seriously. But no point has Rollins ever, or will he ever, underestimate someone in his ring. Especially someone he’s known as well and for as long as Cesaro. But, Kayla has a valid point. Rollins’ track record as Mania is pretty good, speaks for itself.

Heyman can testify to that for a few occasions. He was up close on that. Rollins wants to see Heyman’s reaction to Rollins Slaying the Beast, or even Heist of the Century. Not to step on any toes. Heyman says Rollins can step on whatever toes he wants. He has the vision to do so! Make an omelet, break a few eggs. That’s how you get where you want to be. Cesaro has put himself in a position where he can finally prove his worth. Can he step to Rollins’ level? Remains to be seen. That’s how it is. Well one thing Cesaro has proven himself good at is embarrassing Rollins.

Kayla was there when Cesaro attacked and swung him. If Cesaro can get a hold of Rollins like that, that could be Rollins’ biggest embarrassment. How will he prevent that? Rollins is in a bad mood again. He doesn’t want to do this anymore. Heyman doesn’t want him to do this if Kayla’s being like this. Rollins said he wasn’t going to do this and he won’t, but he says what he said last night. There are LEVELS to this game, and there is a reason Cesaro has never had the spotlight! The reason is because Cesaro is NOT as good as Rollins! There are people on Rollins’ level, like Roman Reigns and Heyman! There are people who get it!

Rollins HAS BEEN and IS this good, since the moment he stepped foot in the WWE! Rollins’ record at WrestleMania and all other events this company has put on shows that to be true! Cesaro has been a wealth of potential! Potential, potential, potential. Potential means CRAP unless you deliver! WrestleMania is the Grandest Stage, and Rollins not just delivers, he OVER delivers! Rollins will never be embarrassed again! Everything Cesaro could be will go out the window because he can’t reach Rollins level, and that’s the end of it! Everyone better get their heads right, because Mania is the BIGGEST event of the year, and Rollins rises to the occasion! Next Saturday will be no different! Cesaro will just be another stepping stone in the Hall of Fame career Rollins has had!

Rollins apologizes to Heyman, he didn’t want to do that, but it’s how it has to be. Rollins storms off, Kayla says this was a good show. We’re just a week away from Mania, a weekend jam packed with action! Catch all of it, and for American viewers, it’s exclusively on Peacock! Until next time! Heyman says Kayla is the female Sami Zayn!!


My Thoughts:

A very good Talking Smack! Heyman again does great for all his parts, such as throwing the technicality of Bryan tapping Roman out not counting so it’s like it never happened. Heyman also taking jabs at the hit female cohosts (Renee, Charly) leaving for other places was good Heel heat for him. Sami is nailing this angle of his character bordering on insanity, and turning Heyman’s words to his advantage. As I said for SmackDown, Kevin VS Sami is going to be a great match because these two are just great, but the story is getting really strong.

Tamina and Natty had a great part, it was on a similar level to Peyton Royce on Raw Talk a few weeks ago. I would hope that, in whatever we get for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships, someone takes the titles off Nia & Shayna. Maybe it’ll even be Natalya & Tamina winning, it would be really good for both of them and for SmackDown, it should just happen. Rollins was great, Kayla pointing out the Easter egg thing was great and very true, and this just adds to an already great feeling for Rollins VS Cesaro. The only thing detracting from this year’s WrestleMania might be that it’s on Peacock and that player is still all clunky and gross. But that’s another article for another time.


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News From Cook’s Corner 4.12.21: The E-S-T of the I-W-C

Cook taking the long week/weekend and assessing some fun aspects that came to the forefront! Check out the news!

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Hi, hello & welcome to News From Cook’s Corner! It’s been a bit of a weird week for me. While the rest of you are celebrating WrestleMania or the cornucopia of WM Weekend shows, I’m stuck working very long shifts at a job I’ve given notice at. So I’m a lame duck while wrestlers in Tampa are swimming in the rain like ducks. Kind of ironic, I suppose.

What that means for this column: Haven’t finished the show. Watched Night One through parts of Sunday, watched the Broken Skull Sessions with Chris Jericho since I didn’t get home in time to watch Night Two from the beginning. Kind of awkward since this is a news column getting posted the day after WrestleMania, but hell, I’ve written about stuff I haven’t been watching for decades now. Gotten really good at faking it, though my exes would disagree with that notion.

(What can I say? When you’re single for most of your life and getting older, sometimes you try to act like things are working in a relationship when they really aren’t. Fortunately I’m over all this now and am quite happy with life as a spiritual eunuch. I’m not really sure how any of this is relevant to the column, just riffing here to fill space and give you a little update on how things are going. Those who were around back in the day remember I was quite emo about the lack of female attention. Now I’ve kinda had my fill and am good with it, though my friends try to make me think I’m not. I think we’ve riffed enough now and can start with some wrestling news.)

Anywho, here’s the news!

New Announcers For Raw?

WWE likes to shake things up on multiple levels after WrestleMania most years. Sometimes that involves a change in the announce booth, and that seems to be on tap this year. WrestlingInc reported that former ESPN host Adnan Virk will be joining Raw’s announce team starting this Monday, replacing Tom Phillips on play by play. Andrew Zarian added that Corey Graves will also be moving over to Raw, replacing Samoa Joe. No word yet on if this means Graves will be working both shows, or if Joe will be moving to SmackDown, or if Joe will be moving back into the ring, or if Phillips will be moving to NXT UK, NXT India & whatever other NXT pops up in the next couple of years.

Many folks I know like to make a big deal of these things, as they feel announcers are crucial to the overall enjoyment of a show. I used to as well, but the more I watch these things the less I think that they’re that critically important to the sports or sports entertainment presentation. Sure, it’s nice to have a legend of the business, or a dynamic presence in their prime, on the microphone talking about the action. It can get the die-hards through some rough seasons, or some less than compelling in-ring action. Does it really affect viewership? I don’t think so. It’s not like Los Angeles Dodgers fans stopped following their team after Vin Scully retired. On the flip side, it’s not like the 50+ wrestling fan demographic has flocked to AEW Dynamite to listen to Jim Ross or Tony Schiavone.

It’s what the people are talking about that matters, not the people talking about it. Which a lot of us in the talking & the writing business could stand to remember from time to time.

Why did the Hurt Business break up?

It’s the question that was on everybody’s minds right after Shelton Benjamin & Cedric Alexander were sent packing by Bobby Lashley & MVP. Why split them up? It was a stable that was working pretty well together, seemingly getting over with the public in the right way, and added a lot of options to Bobby Lashley’s act as WWE Champion.

The answer seems to be the same answer behind every other decision WWE makes. Cause Vince McMahon said so. He decided that Alexander & Benjamin didn’t deserve a push, which is pretty consistent with how their runs with WWE have gone, and that was that. Really not that surprising when you think about it. Somebody talked Vince into giving them a chance, Vince didn’t see it working the way he wanted it to, and then you had King Corbin backing up Lashley for an episode of Raw.

It’s a shame for Alexander & Benjamin, but it’s not in the least bit surprising. We’ll see if somebody else can talk Vince into giving them a chance down the road. Until then, the checks will clear.

Damian Priest Barely Made It To WrestleMania

I remember finding it kind of odd when Miz vs. Bad Bunny was announced for WrestleMania. It’d been reported for months that Miz & Bad Bunny would compete in a tag team match at the show, with John Morrison & Damian Priest as their respective tag team partners. It eventually got made into that, but what was with the pause?

Turns out that Priest had a back injury and wasn’t cleared until the days leading into WrestleMania. Which is really lucky for him, as one of the points of this whole thing was to get him over. At least I think it was. Now we got everybody talking about how Bad Bunny was the best debut wrestler since Pat McAfee, which really wasn’t that long ago but now feels like it happened multiple years ago.

Don’t know what the odds are on Bunny & McAfee main eventing a future WrestleMania, but I rule nothing out these days.

Becky Lynch & Ronda Rousey Back Soon?

That’s the word according to WWE President Nick Khan, who told Colin Cowherd as such on his radio show last week. Quite the scoop for Cowherd, who was once detested by fans for making fun of Eddie Guerrero after he died & calling wrestling fans “booger-eaters”. Now, he’s got WWE executives appearing on his show. Makes me feel better about getting WWE executives on my non-existent show one of these days.

Becky teased a WrestleMania Night One return on her Twitter account, but as usual with her social media teases, nothing came of it. Dave Meltzer mentioned in the Observer that at one point there were plans to have her show up in a truck during a Bayley talk show segment, but obviously the plans for a big truck were shifted to Bad Bunny. Gotta say that it feels like a misfire not having Becky return at WrestleMania in front of the live crowd if she’s coming back anytime soon. If she’s not, no big deal, but if she’s a Night After WrestleMania surprise in the ThunderDome, it’s not the same as bringing her out in front of 25,000 people.

As for Ronda, she was rumored to be coming back for this year’s WrestleMania when it was taking place in Los Angeles. Dunno if that means she’ll be back for WrestleMania two years from now or not.

Dabba-Kato Returns

Surely you remember Dabba-Kato from his time on Raw Underground. The big fella hadn’t been seen after the end of those segments until Sunday night, where he re-debuted as Commander Azeez & helped Apollo Crews win the Intercontinental Championship. I would say this pretty much guarantees that he’ll be in line for a big push at the expense of Crews, but it’s not like the rest of Retribution has done anything since they dropped Mustafa Ali like a bad habit.

Here’s my question: The guy’s first name is Babatunde. Why don’t they just go with that? It just rolls off the tongue. No need to give him stuff like Dabba-Kato & Azeez when “Babatunde” is right there.

Mox vs. Gage?

The biggest news to develop from GCW’s Collective weekend involved Jon Moxley making a surprise appearance to confront Nick Gage after Gage re-gained GCW’s championship. Moxley had wrestled against Josh Barnett on another GCW show during the weekend, but this was the first time Moxley & Gage had crossed paths since their glory days in CZW. I don’t know if they consider their CZW days “glory days”, but it seemed like a good phrase to use there.

One expects that it’ll lead to a match between Mox & Gage for GCW, which would be a pretty big deal for them given Mox’s drawing power and the fact that Gage will be the subject of a Dark Side of the Ring episode this season, which starts next month. I also wouldn’t rule out a Nick Gage appearance in AEW, as Tony Khan is a huge fan of people from that era of CZW & AEW has seen nearly everybody else in the business not contracted by WWE make an appearance at some point this year.

That’s all I’ve got for you right now. Later this week we’ll do a Fave Five for April, maybe pick up the Top 5 Quarterbacks by Franchise gimmick where we left off, and whatever else I can think of for wherever else I can think of. Thanks for reading, and keep your stick on the ice.


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Mitchell’s Talking Smack Report! (4/10/21)

A WrestleMania edition Talking Smack!

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WWE Talking Smack

The Grandest Talking Smack of Them All!

Just hours before WrestleMania 37 starts its two night adventure, we have one last round of Talking Smack, and it’s RATED R with EDGE!

 

Kayla Braxton welcomes us back to the show!

It is the morning of WrestleMania 37, night one! Kayla’s so excited, and before we talk about tomorrow night’s Universal Championship Triple Threat, what are Paul Heyman’s thoughts about Jey Uso winning the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal? Heyman is extremely proud of #MainEventJeyUso, “the rightful winner.” Jey is a giant of talent and he proved it by winning the most prestigious annual battle royal that happens on WrestleMania Weekend. True, and yes, it is Mania Weekend. Kayla knows the real focus is on night two and the Triple Threat match, Roman Reigns VS Edge VS Daniel Bryan.

And after last night, where is Roman’s head at? Is he at his most confident? Is he worried after hearing from Edge and Bryan? Heyman seems confused by her line of questioning. He will say this, little disrespect as possible. Heyman is ready for Edge, but let’s get to it! The Rated R Superstar is tonight’s guest! Kayla says the cohost doesn’t get to do that, only she, the main host, gets to do that. Plus, Edge isn’t the first guest, he’ll be here later on. For now, we go to commercial.

 

Talking Smack returns, and Heyman speaks to us.

“It’s WrestleMania Weekend. I get a little carried away sometimes. My apologies.” Kayla makes a snide remark about the “sometimes.” But Heyman tries again. “Ladies and gentlemen, the Rated R Superstar, EDGE!” No! He’s not here yet! Maybe they should mute Heyman just in case. Kayla wants Heyman to relax, we’ve got a weekend of action to get to. Let’s talk tonight, WrestleMania Night One’s Women’s Tag Team Turmoil! Friday was extremely heated, but what does Heyman think? The Riott Squad, Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke, Tamina & Natalya, Billie Kay & Carmella, Naomi & Lana.

Heyman says you could choose anyone from this match, where they all want to be Women’s Tag Team Champions. Do any of THEM think Daniel Bryan legitimately tapped out Roman Reigns? Can we please talk about their match, not Roman’s? Heyman rants on, but Kayla says people are very excited for Tag Team Turmoil. Look at the chaos from last night! The winners of tonight’s match face Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler tomorrow night for the titles! Heyman says Kayla made a great point! Thank you, Kayla, he is now HOOKED. But with that out of the way, the RATED R SUPERSTAR-

NO. Kayla will make a deal with him. She’ll bring out Edge if he talks about one other match. They shake hands, and she brings up Cesaro VS Seth Rollins! Rollins’ return brought up issues and Cesaro was the one that voiced it. How would Heyman handle someone like Cesaro? Someone who, in Rollins’ opinion, disrespected him and his “positive” message. What would Heyman do if he were in Rollins’ shoes?

Heyman isn’t in Rollins’ shoes. He’s in Heyman shoes, as the Special Counsel to the Reigns-ing, Defending, Undisputed, Uncontroverted WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion, THE main event of WrestleMania, Roman Reigns, who will defend his title in a Triple Threat against both Edge and Daniel Bryan, where Roman has to beat either Edge or Bryan, but doesn’t have to lose to lose the title. And Heyman is supposed to talk about the King of Swing, Cesaro, and the Visionary, Rollins? They shook on it. Who will win? Can he at least say that?

The winner will be the winner. And that winner might be in line for a match with the Universal Heavyweight Champion, the winner of THE main event of WrestleMania, Roman Reigns. Kayla says it is up to her when Edge shows up. If Heyman won’t cooperate, they can drag this out all episode. Aw, is Heyman being a bad boy? Will Kayla spank him for misbehaving? Kayla wonders what else there is to talk about. Kayla is going to move things along, and Heyman is sarcastic about putting viewers first for once. They WILL have the Rated R Superstar on Talking Smack, after the break.

 

Talking Smack returns and this is the moment we’ve been waiting for.

Kayla welcomes to Talking Smack, the Rated R Superstar, one third of the main event of WrestleMania, EDGE! Edge walks right up and takes his seat, and he says hi to Kayla. Edge looks at Heyman, Heyman sits up and looks at Edge. Heyman smirks, and congratulates Edge. He offers a handshake, Edge takes it, and Heyman says he means it. This is Edge’s dream. THE main event of WrestleMania. Of course, Edge had this dream in 2020 when he shocked everyone and returned in the Royal Rumble. But who took him out of that dream? Roman Reigns. Roman eliminated Edge from the Rumble, stopped his dream dead in its track.

But to Edge’s massive credit, he spent another year working towards the dream again. And this year, with all the odds against him, Edge started the Royal Rumble, outlasted 29 other hungry participants, and his dream prevailed. Here he is, when no one ever thought he would be. WrestleMania Weekend, THE main event. Heyman offers his respect and admiration to a degree that no words can convey. Edge smiles and says “Paul E,” living dangerously out here. For weeks, Heyman has talked such an immense pile of crap about Edge, but Edge gets it. Edge is here, so it’s a different story. Edge appreciates that. Roman cuts Heyman’s checks as his hype man. Heyman’s gotta feed his kids, and Roman is the meal ticket as “Head of the Table.”

But does Heyman know what Edge does to tables? Edge is the godfather of the TLC match. He puts people through tables and obliterates them. Heyman is talking about Christians but Heyman is Jewish and Edge is Agnostic so what the hell was that about? And then he said Edge would crap his pants out of fear? But Edge can look past all of that because oddly, these two have a lot in common and a lot of people wouldn’t realize that. Edge and Heyman didn’t have a path carved for them, open to them into the industry. No, Edge and Heyman are of the same cloth. They fought to get into this industry.

Heyman faked his credentials! He snuck into Madison Square Garden so he could pick the brains “of the grand wizard, Captain Lou Albano,” and took some of the best wrestling photos in the history of this industry! Edge went to Maple Leaf Gardens, stood at the back door and waited for Demolition, Tito Santana, George “The Animal” Steele, just so he could brush up against their greatness and understand what it took to get this, his dream! Then Edge would sneak in and ask to set up chairs, just to get that close to the ring and touch the canvas and feel it! So he could feel the ropes! Any indie show that came to town, Edge set the ring up and the chairs, just to give himself two minutes in there. Just so he could feel what it was like. Edge knows Heyman understands that!

And Heyman of all people knows what Edge is about. Heyman was one of the first to give Edge a chance. Heyman knows what Edge can do “when the governor has taken off.” The SmackDown Six happened because Heyman had faith in Edge! Heyman knew Edge could have a match with Eddie Guerrero that lives on today in people’s minds! That Edge could team with Rey Mysterio and set the world on fire with possibly the greatest tag team match of all time! Heyman agrees, that is true. Edge then asks Heyman, that knowing all of this, and having such an understanding, does Heyman truly feel like Edge should have fear in him? That Roman tells Heyman the truth?

Roman came out and talked about holding it down for 30 weeks. Edge has been holding it down for 30 YEARS! Those were taken away from him for nine, and he fought with every ounce of his being, of his soul, to get back here! Edge cools off to say he appreciates Heyman, and he understands what Heyman is doing. But Edge is never, ever going to agree with him. Heyman deep down doesn’t, either. Edge sets his mic down to let that sink in, and we go to break.

 

Talking Smack returns, and Edge is still at the table.

Heyman pats Edge on the shoulder, and says Edge’s theme song has this line, “You think you know me?” Heyman does know Edge. Heyman knows he knows Edge. Heyman knows nothing is going to stop Edge, and that is what scares Heyman. That’s why now that we’re here at WrestleMania Weekend, Heyman might crap his pants. Heyman’s father taught him the story of the carrot and the stick. You dangle the carrot in front of the horse because that’s what it wants. That is the lure. Nine years, 364 days ago, Edge was forced into retirement. “My GOD, no one can write this story!” Ten years to the DAY, Edge main events WrestleMania in a Universal Championship match, the spiritual successor to the title he never lost.

And if Edge wanted to go public and show the world all the messages he received that very night, how many of his contemporaries wrote to him, “I’m so sorry. Oh my God, this is a tragedy! How awful this is! How terrible this is! I’m sorry, I wish this wasn’t happening to you.” How many? Not Heyman. Heyman can’t help but chuckle when he thinks back, because he wrote, “Great promo, kid. First day of your miraculous comeback to live out your dreams.” And Heyman didn’t hear from Edge for about two days and thought he upset Edge. Edge finally wrote back, “Paul, my dream is to main event WrestleMania. And I will live out my dream, I promise you.”

Heyman does know Edge. Heyman knew nothing would ever stop Edge from living that dream. Not a fused neck, not a number of surgeries, not the advice of doctors, not even his wife’s pleas to stay out of the ring. Heyman knew nothing could stop Edge from living out his dream. “You know what happens tomorrow night? You live out your dream. You do. And the best part of it is, everyone gets to share that moment with you. Because in front of a LIVE crowd, you will stand in the ring, in the main event of WrestleMania, and the ring announcer will say, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, one of the contenders. In this corner, the winner of the 2021 Royal Rumble, Edge!'”

And what happens next? Ding ding ding, because Edge has lived his dream. He made it to the main event, but reality will BITCH SLAP him across the face, because in another of those corners, it isn’t the carrot. That is when the horse realizes the carrot is soured. Across the ring is the stick, ROMAN REIGNS. Roman is the reality that Edge will witness when he wakes up from his dream. Here’s the problem: Heyman does know Edge. And Heyman knows that if there is a breath left in Edge’s body, nothing will stop him from becoming Universal Champion tomorrow night.

But Heyman also knows Roman Reigns, and what being Tribal Chief means to him, and what being Head of the Table means to him, and what being the End All Be All means to him, and what being WWE Universal Champion means to him. Heyman knows that if Roman has to take that last breath from Edge’s body, that’s what he’ll do. Heyman knows it’ll be a massacre. It’ll be a beating so bad, Edge needs to understand what Roman is capable of. Roman’s in his prime, at his best, and that he is merciless! It’s to the point to where when Edge gets home and tells his children what it means to go for their dreams, and then hugs them tight, he won’t be able to feel it! Roman will take that from Edge! That is how bad it’ll be.

Heyman does know Edge, and likes him, respects him, admires him, and wishes his children aspired to be like him and live out their dreams at all costs. But the price Edge is going to pay to live a dream, Heyman says that is not worth it. Heyman gives Edge a hug, and says, “I am so sorry for what Roman Reigns will do to you tomorrow night. I’m sorry.” Heyman pats Edge on the back and says he is sorry it has to end this way for Edge. Heyman wishes he could stop this, but he can’t. There’s no counsel Heyman can offer Roman that will stop him from doing what he has to do to stop Edge. Heyman takes a deep breath and sits down, but Edge gets his mic back.

Edge pats Heyman on the back and head, and is forehead to forehead as he says, “Paul. I once crawled over to make the cover in a match while my arm was turning gray and smoking and bubbling from second degree burns, with barbed wire punctures in my stomach, and thumbtacks lodged into every part of my body, AFTER diving face first into a flaming table, just to mark my territory and to show that I belong in the main event of WrestleMania. I did all of that just to show that I deserve to be in the main event of WrestleMania. So what do you think I will do, and what depths do you think I will find, when I am in the main event of WrestleMania?”

Thanks for the warning, Edge appreciates it, but Heyman knows what Edge is capable of because he sees it in Heyman’s eyes and smells it coming off of him. Edge is not normal, Heyman, and you know that. See you tomorrow, see your Tribal Chief and Bryan, and Edge will take back what is HIS. Edge backs away to storm off the set. Heyman is stunned silent, and Kayla has no idea what to say. Will there be no words come THE main event of WrestleMania Weekend?


My Thoughts:

WOW, this was an awesome episode. Only one guest in Edge, but both he and Heyman just put on a masterclass of promos. It does help that there’s a lot of history here but the passion was great, too. Heyman was great with how impatient he was, and how he kept trying to redirect to the Triple Threat, and then both he and Edge had even great emotional looks as they went through their interaction. I just knew Heyman was going to turn things from putting Edge over to burying him as he put Roman over.

They did forget Bryan is in the mix, but something makes me think that’s the point. This was “meant” to be Roman VS Edge, they still see it as such, Bryan could still be the fall guy so there’s a winner without weakening Roman or Edge. Bryan can respond just by firing off first and tearing into both guys early in the match. But Edge bringing up that insane Hardcore match with Mick Foley, and a Triple Threat being No Disqualifications by default, I almost hope things escalate to where tables, chairs, and whatever else shows up and adds to this match, as it is the biggest match and it’d fit how big they’ve been hyping it up.


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