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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (5/21/21)

Who will Apollo make feel the steel?

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Coverage SmackDown 2021

SmackDown’s fallout from #WrestleManiaBacklash, and even MORE gold!

SmackDown had all but ONE title on the line at WrestleMania Backlash. Tonight, the WWE Intercontinental Championship will be defended in a FATAL 4 WAY!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Six Woman Tag: Bianca Belair, Natalya & Tamina VS Bayley, Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler; Bayley, Jax & Baszler win.
  • King Corbin VS Shinsuke Nakamura; Nakamura wins.
  • Dominik Mysterio w/ Rey Mysterio VS Robert Roode w/ Dolph Ziggler; Dominik wins.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship Fatal 4 Way: Apollo Crews w/ Commander Azeez VS Big E VS Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn; Apollo wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

SmackDown opens with a parade of champions!

The NEW SmackDown Tag Team Champions, Rey & Dominik Mysterio! The NEW WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, Natalya & Tamina! STILL SmackDown Women’s Champion, Bianca Belair! And the current WWE Intercontinental Champion, Apollo Crews! All six, plus Commander Azeez, are here on this big Friday night after #WrestleManiaBacklash! Sonya Deville is in the ring to welcome us to this especial special SmackDown! “The news broke earlier today that starting in July, the WWE will be leaving the ThunderDome, and returning back to the road, back where we belong, back to you!” The WWE Universe will finally get to see WWE in person!

With Adam Pearce on the road to make this return possible, Sonya felt it was only right to recognize those who have worked so hard over the past year! The first-ever father and son championship team, the Mysterios! The Daughter of Superfly and the Queen of Harts, SmackDown’s own, Tamina & Natalya! The man who will be defending his title tonight, Apollo Crews! Azeez has the music stop here so Apollo can speak! “Sonya, Sonya. Why must you dishonor me? Tonight you said I will be defending my title? No no no no no no! Tonight, in a match where the odds are stacked against me, where I don’t have to be pinned or submit to lose, I will be RETAINING my title!”

Apollo says he will unleash “total destruction” on Big E, Sami Zayn AND Kevin Owens! “One by one, they will all fall! And when the dust has settled, I will once again be victooooorious~!” Sonya thanks Apollo for that speech, and then moves on to the champion who made history at WrestleMania 37 by winning this title and retaining it at Backlash, it’s Bianca Belair! And of course, we can’t forget the WWE Universal Champion, Roman Reigns! Well, Paul Heyman walks out first. “How nice. A parade. A parade of champions, except it’s not a parade of champions, it’s a parade of title holders.” Heyman goes down the line and tells them all that they just hold titles.

“Roman Reigns is not a title holder, Roman Reigns is a champion. Not just a champion, THE champion. Not just THE champion, Roman Reigns is the preeminent champion, and not just of SmackDown, but all of WWE, and all of sports entertainment.” When someone buys a ticket to the live events, they’ll do so with the confidence that the WWE is represented by a champion like your Tribal Chief, Roman… Reigns. Roman will not be one of many in this little parade, there will be a parade of the champion, Roman Reigns, at his leisure. Heyman thanks Sonya, and then leaves.

Well that is the first surprise of the evening but certainly not the last. Sonya wants everyone to give a huge round of applause to our exceptional roster of champions! But Bayley walks in and says we’re celebrating “champions” without acknowledging her, THE longest reigning SmackDown Women’s Champion ever! She reigned through the ThunderDome Era and was even a DOUBLE champion! They should thank her for putting this company on her back! Especially Dom, who rode his daddy’s coattails to a title! Natty & Tamina, Bayley used to look up to them until they CRIED about getting those titles! Sup, Apollo and Azeez.

But the biggest CHEATER that should be thanking Bayley is the one pretending to be champion! Yeah, Bianca! You used that ponytail to win at WrestleMania, and then used it again at Backlash! Bianca isn’t a champion, she’s a CRIMINAL! Strip her of the title and give it back to Bayley! Bianca says if Bayley wants the belt, she can come take it! Bianca goes to the ring, Bayley is ready, are we getting a Backlash rematch? Not according to Bayley. But here comes SHAYNA BASZLER?! And Nia Jax! They jump Bianca, mug her, but here come Natty & Tamina! They brawl, Tamina gets caught 3v1, and Nia talks trash before she and Shayna hit Tamina with a KNEE SIDEWALK SLAM!

Bayley smiles as she and two other former champions stand tall! Will we be getting another big surprise when SmackDown returns from break?

 

Six Woman Tag: Bianca Belair, Natalya & Tamina VS Bayley, Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler!

SmackDown returns, playa, and we have a champions VS challengers 3v3! Nia whips Tamina to a corner, runs in and SPLASHES! Tamina falls down, Nia runs and drops an elbow! Cover, TWO! Nia stomps Tamina around, puts her on ropes and chokes her! The ref counts, Nia lets off but Shayna chokes Tamina behind the ref’s back! Nia slaps Tamina around and mockingly asks if she’s alright. Tag to Shayna, the former champs mug Tamina, then Shayna snapmares to KICK Tamina in the back! Cover, TWO! Tag to Bayley, she and Shayna mug Tamina, Bayley throws stomps but Tamina shoves back. Tamina HEADBUTTS Bayley down, but Bayley RAMS Tamina into the corner!

Bayley throws elbows, claps back at Bianca, then brings Tamina out to suplex. Tamina blocks, then suplexes Bayley high and hard! Both women are down, both crawl, hot tag to Natty! Natty rallies on Bayley, snap suplexes, then snap suplexes again! Bayley staggers into a scoop but slips out to throw Natty by her hair! Bayley kicks Natty, tags to Shayna, and the Queen of Spades tortures the Queen of Hart’s arm! Shayna twists the wrist, stands on Natty’s head, but Natty endures, so Shayna YANKS the arm back! Tag to Nia, they get Natty up and feed her to a scoop and SLAM! Cover, TWO! Nia keeps Natty down with a seated cobra twist and thrashes her around!

Fans rally, Natty fights up, and Natty jawbreakers out! Hot tag to The EST! She rallies on Shayna, kips up and RAMS her in a corner, throws her shoulder in more, then brings Shayna out to scoop. Shayna slips off and has the KIRAFUDA! Bianca slips out, whips but Shayna reverses. Bianca goes up and over and SPINEBUSTER! Bianca hurries up top, Bayley and Nia both get Shayna out of the ring! Bianca just adjusts and LEAPS to CROSSBODY everyone down! But she clutches her knee! The EST is in a bad way as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns and Bayley drags Bianca around by the bad leg! Bayley has a standing toehold, but Bianca endures. Bayley puts Bianca in a corner, gets her up and goes for chicken wings. Bianca resists, Natty & Tamina rally up with the fans, and Bianca goes around and around and throws Bayley out! Bayley hurries back in, drags Bianca from her corner and stomps her down! Bayley sucker punches Natty, but misses her elbow drop! Bianca gets up, rolls over Bayley and tags in Tamina! Tamina fires off on Bayley, bumps her off buckles over and over, then brings her around to EuroUpper! Tamina BLASTS Nia and Shayna for good measure!

Tamina whips Bayley, and hits a POWERSLAM! Tag to Natty and she adds a basement dropkick! Bayley swings into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Tag back to Tamina, catapult SUPERKICK! Cover, ROPEBREAK! Bayley survives and Tamina is furious! Tag back to Natty, they get Bayley up and Natty reels her in. Bayley dodges the discus to tag Shayna! Natty trips Bayley, has the SHARPSHOOTER, but Shayna KNEES her down! Cover, but Tamina drags Shayna up to HEADBUTT! Natty gets the Sharpshooter on Shayna but Bayley gets her in a clinch! Natty fights free to DISCUS! Nia runs in to CLOBBER Natty! Tamina BOOTS and SUPERKICKS Nia! Shayna ROUNDHOUSES Tamina!

Bianca DECKS Shayna! Handspring, but Bayley trips Bianca up, drags her out and hits a BAYLEY2BELLY! Natty BOOTS Bayley, but Shayna gets the KIRAFUDA KLUTCH!! Natty is caught, she taps! Shayna’s team wins!!

Winners: Bayley, Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler, by submission

The former WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions get one over on the current champions! Will this mean Tamina & Natty are already going to lose those belts? Will Bayley “right” the wrongs she claims happened at Backlash?

 

Backstage interview with Big E.

The Powerhouse of Positivity is in a great mood! The Fatal 4 Way is his chance to win the belt back, so how has he maintained this energy? Tonight, eh stands in the ring with some dogs. Not terriers or Yorkies, but men who have doggedly pursued their craft. Future hall of famers and world champions all. But Big E can smile because this is what he asked for! This is the iron that sharpens his iron! These are the very best so that he may prove he is among the very best! Big E will walk out of this arena having left NO DOUBT that he is the rightful Intercontinental Champion! And you’ve GOT to feel that! It is time! But will it be Big E’s time once more?

 

Aleister Black returns with another Tale of the Dark Father.

This is Chapter 4: Beautiful Pain. The lessons are etched on Aleister’s body, and the pain serves a purpose. Pain doesn’t lie. It is honest. Where would be without this truth? Without this dysfunctional arma of agony? “So let’s hear it for the bleak, desolate misery in which we hide our deepest and darkest sins! Sins that you embody. Father always said there is an art to being a tool. And these creatures’ blood is full of cruel thoughts and dreams.” Aleister says we live proudly in our “cesspool of sins and denial, because it’s all you are. It has become your identity to be loathsome and blind. You are sick and dying animals, and it’s time for me to separate the weak from the strong. As Father taught me, it is time to cull the herd!”

 

King Corbin VS Shinsuke Nakamura!

The Wolf King may have won a match over the King of Strong Style, but his crown has been taken! Nakamura showed it off online, and Corbin gets a mic to call him out! “I was going to come out here and I wasn’t going to say anything. I was gonna let my actions do the talking. But then I saw that.” He saw Nakamura’s Instagram posts. Nakamura has disrespected Corbin! Nakamura may call himself the King of Strong Style, but he’s no king! No one watching this will know what it is like to live like a REAL king! A real king wears $40,000 watches, drives Ferraris and owns lean, hungry dogs of war! “Not some fat, shabby tabby cat.” Corbin says real kings respect the crown.

Tonight, Corbin vows to punish Nakamura by grinding his face into the very canvas with the heel of his boot! Then Corbin will take back HIS crown, have it cleaned and polished, then put it back where it belongs: on the head of the ONE TRUE KING in WWE! Nakamura, get out here now!! Nakamura has ERIC BUGENHAGEN rip an awesome guitar solo for him! The hell is he doing here?! “Rick BOOGZ” is here to rock with the REAL king of SmackDown! Shinsuke NakamurrrrrrAAAAAA~! Boogz gets down, and here comes Nakamura, crown and all! Will the King of Strong Style rock Corbin and roll on still wearing the crown?

SmackDown returns and Nakamura fires off forearms! Corbin ends up in a corner, and Nakamura gives him Good Vibrations! Boogz is still here and is rocking as Nakamura whips Corbin corner to corner. Corbin reverses and CLOBBERS Nakamura! They end up on the apron, Corbin stands Nakamura up and LARIATS Nakamura back into the ring! Corbin fires off fists and stomps, then stands Nakamura up again. Nakamura fires off hands, KICKS and KICKS! Corbin counters a roundhouse into a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Corbin is frustrated and Boogz is relieved while Corbin stands on Nakamura’s head.

Corbin lets off as the ref counts, then drags Nakamura up to put him in a corner. Corbin traps an arm and fires off body shots! The ref counts, Corbin lets off to talk trash to Boogz, but Boogz says he’s got this coming! Corbin digs knees into Nakamura, then gives him BAD Vibrations! Corbin drags Nakamura up, knees him low, then drags Nakamura up with a half nelson chinbar! Nakamura endures, fans rally, and Nakamura fights with body shots! Nakamura is free, he runs, but into a back elbow! Cover, ONE!! Corbin is frustrated but he sits Nakamura up to DECK him! Corbin says this is for taking the crown! He DECKS Nakamura again!

Corbin gets Nakamura up, scoops, but Nakamura slips out! Corbin ducks one kick but not the WHEEL KICK! BACKSTABBER, and SLIDING KNEE! Nakamura fires up, Boogz and the fans join in, and Nakamura hits an STO! Cover, TWO! Corbin survives but Nakamura keeps cool. Nakamura aims from a corner as Corbin flounders, “YAOH!” But Corbin dodges to send Nakamura into buckles! GERMAN SUPLEX! Cover, TWO!! Corbin is furious again, but he looms over Nakamura. Corbin lets Nakamura get up, choke grips, but Nakamura KNEES free! Nakamura runs, dodges, but gets a DEEP SIX! Cover, TWO! Corbin argues with the ref but the count was fair!

Boogz rocks out again and Corbin is distracted! Nakamura slips out of End of Days to cradle! NAKAMURA WINS!

Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura, by pinfall

Whatever reason Boogz is with Nakamura, he just made good on the partnership! Will these two both rock SmackDown to its core?

 

Sonya Deville is on the phone when Jimmy Uso walks in.

Jimmy says it’s about time! The best tag team SmackDown’s ever seen is getting back together, and they’re about to welcome some fools back into the Uso Penitentiary! Wow, okay. But has he checked with Jey? Jimmy wouldn’t be here if he didn’t know Jey had his back. They’re ready to do it big, and they want the smoke! AKA, the Street Profits! Wow, now a match of that caliber needs to be advertised and built! Okay. So let’s do it next week! Usos VS Profits! OKAY! Jimmy heads out, but is this okay with Jey?

 

Kevin Owens speaks.

“My first two years in the WWE, they used to call me The Prizefighter. Because in those two years, I’d won more titles than most people do in their whole careers. Tonight, I intend on living up to that name, no matter what I have to do. I don’t care if it takes me powerbomb’ing Sami so hard, that he permanently forgets the word, ‘conspiracy.’ I don’t care if it takes me hanging Big E a Big L. I don’t care if it takes me hitting half a dozen stunners on Apollo Crews.” And if Apollo’s “commander” gets in the way, Kevin will shove that thumb so far up his own Azeez that he can scrape stuff off his teeth with that Nigerian Nail. Because when it is all said and done, Kevin intends on being a THREE-TIME Intercontinental Champion! Will Kevin live up to his word and #StunTheWorld?

 

Roman Reigns heads to the ring!

Heyman promised he’d be here, and he’s here! The Tribal Chief, in his own self-branded tracksuit, walks out with Heyman and Jey. Roman holds up the Universal Championship, the pyro goes off, and the proper introductions are given. The “parade of champion” goes down the ramp, Heyman holds the belt up for Roman now, then they step inside the ropes for more pyro. We’ll hear Roman’s reaction to his victory over Cesaro, after the break.

SmackDown returns and Roman patiently waits as we watch a recap package of #WrestleManiaBacklash. Roman didn’t need Jey Uso to help him beat Cesaro, but he did let the Right Hand Man add insult to injury. And then Seth Rollins added a bit of his own to the beating, and Cesaro was left laying with a bad arm barely hanging on. We return to present and Roman is given a mic to speak. “I believe myself to be a humble man. In fact, I take every opportunity that I can to teach my sons about humility.” Roman says to be completely honest, he doesn’t like to brag on live TV. He’ll instead let his Special Counsel to celebrate him.

Heyman is “surprised” that Roman would do this, and he takes the mic up now. “This is indeed a unique surprise. Ladies and gentlemen, I have a moment here to acknowledge your Tribal Chief. Undefeated since his return to WWE. Scared The Fiend over to Monday Night Raw. Humanized The Monster, Braun Strowman. Baptized his own cousin back into the championship bloodline. KO’d Kevin Owens, scored the most declaratively dominant pinfall in the history WrestleMania main events when he stacked Edge and Daniel Bryan on top of each other and pinned them both as if it wasn’t a Triple Threat match, but a Handicap Match against the End All Be All Universal Champion.”

Heyman says Roman even caved in Edge’s face so that we’ll never see him again, and then to his personal pleasure, he BANISHED Bryan from SmackDown into a life of Bella retirement. Then, “the Backlash against the strongest and most talented grappler on the SmackDown roster, Cesaro, where your champion, Roman Reigns, beat Cesaro on his own, with no one’s help, at Cesaro’s own game.” Ladies and gentlemen, for Heyman, this is a career highlight not only to celebrate but to acknowledge THE preeminent champion in not only WWE but all of sports entertainment, Roman… Reigns…! Heyman says Roman’s will is Heyman’s command. What else may he do for The Tribal Chief?

Roman thinks on that. “Bring me my cousin.” Someone get Jimmy Uso here now! NOW! That’s not Jimmy, that’s Cesaro! The Swiss Superman, arm in sling, walks out onto stage and Roman is annoyed. Cesaro knows he’s not Jimmy and he’s not in the mood for this. He couldn’t find Rollins but he heard this annoying yapping in his ears. Then he realized it’s Roman and Heyman! What’s Cesaro gonna do? He’s got one arm! Want Roman to break the other? Nah, this is just a flesh wound. And Cesaro would fight Roman with no arms if he had to. But how about they go again? One more match for the Universal title, at Hell in a Cell? If he’s man enough.

Rollins attacks!! Roman laughs as Rollins CLOBBERS Cesaro, then whips him into steel steps! Rollins tears the sling off and shouts, “When are you gonna learn?!” Rollins stomps the arm, refs rush out to stop this, as do WWE officials. They get Rollins to leave but the damage has been done! Cesaro stands and walks out, but Rollins comes back! Rollins leaps and tackles Cesaro into barriers! Rollins is a rabid dog as he gets the bad arm and WRINGS it out! Then CURB STOMPS Cesaro down! Referees rush to keep them apart again and Rollins “apologizes” as he leaves again. But then he jumps the barrier to rush Cesaro and CURB STOMP him to the ramp!!

Rollins glares at Cesaro with wild eyes and a stretcher is brought out for Cesaro! Has the Architect literally stomped out the Swiss Superman’s hopes of becoming Universal Champion?

 

Backstage interview with Seth Rollins.

What is the reason he went right after Cesaro and with such drastic measures? Rollins says he blacked out. But then he sees Cesaro being wheeled out and gets in Cesaro’s face! “Why do you do this to me?! Why do you make me into this person!?” Rollins blames Cesaro for not learning the first time! What is going on in the mind of the Architect?!

 

Dominik Mysterio w/ Rey Mysterio VS Robert Roode w/ Dolph Ziggler!

Father and son go to the ring, ready to build upon the historic foundation they created at Backlash! But the Dirty Dawgs make their entrance and Roode has a mic to rain on the parade. “Dom, don’t let that big win on Sunday go to your head. Let’s face it, your dad did all the work, and you just reaped the benefits! Y’know, like how you’ve lived your entire life!” Tonight, Roode vows that “bring your son to work day” finally ends, and proves once and for all that Dom doesn’t belong here! Dom holds up the belt to simply say he does! Will the Prince of Lucha prove he and the King are worthy of their thrones?

The bell rings, Roode RAMS Dom right to a corner! The ref counts, Roode lets off and suplexes Dom high and hard! And then does it again! Ziggler says that’s what Dom gets! Roode gets Dom up again for another suplex, but Dom knees back and cradle counters! TWO, and Roode knees low and hard! Roode whips Dom to a corner, Roode RAMS into him again, and then hoists him up top! Roode throws hands, climbs up, but Dom fires hands back! Roode hops down, Dom adjusts, but Roode comes up again! Dom shoves him away, adjusts, and leaps for a CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Roode gets up and runs at Dom but into a back elbow!

Dom gets Roode, reels him in, but the tornado is tossed! Ziggler wants Roode to finish this, and Roode gets Dom up. Roode reels Dom in, vows to end it, but the powerbomb becomes Dom’s RANA! Roode ends up on ropes! Dom runs, ZIggler is in his way! Dom swipes at him, but Rey is there! Ziggler tries to kick Rey but Rey blocks it and sends the foot into steel steps! Roode back drops Dom but Dom sunset flips! Roode sits down, has a prawn hold, TWO!! Dom is free, Roode is surprised, but Roode runs in, only to POST himself! Dom runs to CORNER 619! Dom hurries up top, and hits a FROG SPLASH! Cover, Dom wins!!

Winner: Dominik Mysterio, by pinfall

Another shout out to Latino Heat brings Dom the victory! Will this solidify father and son atop the SmackDown Tag Division?

 

Jey and Jimmy meet backstage.

Jimmy informs Jey that next week, after a whole year, the Usos are back! The Street Profits want the smoke but they’re gonna get a lockdown! Jey is upset that Jimmy did this without telling him first. Jimmy is looking out for Jey! Roman says he doesn’t need Jey but Jey doesn’t need Roman, either! Didn’t Jey win the Andre the Giant trophy without Roman? Just like they did the tag titles! Man up, Uce! This ain’t about Roman, it’s about them! But Jey still needs to tell Roman about this. Jey owes him that much. Jimmy looks a bit disappointed, but how will Roman feel about this?

 

SmackDown returns as Jey talks with Roman.

Jey says Jimmy and Sonya did the tag match. But since they’ve got the Profits- They? Who’s “they?” The Tribal Chief and the Right Hand Man, that’s them. Jimmy is being selfish. This right here is what matters. What they do represents the family. Don’t forget that. Roman hugs Jey, and says he loves him, but is that the same as supporting him?

 

The Street Profits are fired up!

They hear that the Usos are crying down the hallway! SmackDown is the blue brand but not this blue. Listening to the fam’s got Jey weepy. Like how they saw last week. Jey telling Jimmy that what they do benefits the family. Fam, Angelo Dawkins about to respectfully disrespect them. Jimmy, you think that you going to battle with your brother, him watching your six, is gonna dig you out the gutter? Or you a new fool, getting smacked up side the head and make this the Luigi Brothers? Ooooh~! Dat’s cute. But after all this time, the Profits finally showed up in the Usos’ mouths. But nothing cute about next week. This right here ain’t paranoia, this is the Street Profits, and they want the SMOKE!

 

BREAKING NEWS for Monday Night Raw!

With Shayna Baszler making Natalya tap out, the Queen of Spades and Irresistible Force will have another rematch for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships! Will the Queen of Harts and Daughter of Superfly be able to survive this short turnaround?

 

Backstage interview with Sami Zayn.

Seeing as how he’s a former Intercontinental Champion, Kayla asks if- Former? You think he doesn’t see what you’re up to? You’re clouding his head with negative thoughts before he goes out there by reminding him of his past failures! Sami doesn’t expect any less from a “corporate hack propagandist” like her! Stop it! Kayla was just trying- He knows what you’re trying to do! She’s trying to minimize him! You don’t think he heard what Kevin was saying earlier, about powerbomb’ing him and all that? Sami will NEVER forget the conspiracy against him! You understand? His documentary is coming out and no one can stop it!

No matter what, Sami reclaims the Intercontinental Championship tonight and reclaims being the Champion of the People! The persecution ends tonight! But will Apollo’s reign end just because Sami vows it will?

WWE Intercontinental Championship Fatal 4 Way: Apollo Crews w/ Commander Azeez VS Big E VS Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn!

So much history and so much disdain is in this one match! There can only be ONE Intercontinental Champion, but who out of this star-studded foursome feels~ the powaaah~ that is the gold around their waist?

SmackDown returns and Big E makes his entrance, followed by Apollo. The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see if total destruction closes out SmackDown!

Kevin rushes Sami and clotheslines him in a corner! Kevin fires off on Sami, Apollo goes after them but Big E is after Apollo! Apollo and Big E brawl in the ring while Kevin and Sami spill out of the ring. Apollo CLUBS away on Big E, Kevin stalks Sami, and Apollo stomps Big E while Kevin hammers away on Sami against barriers. Things speed up in the ring, Big E hurdles and CLOBBERS Apollo! Kevin gets in to get Big E for an atomic drop, to an enziguri! Big E falls, Sami CLOBBERS Kevin! Sami hammers Kevin down, stomps him, then throws clubbing crossface forearms! Sami drives elbows in, has Kevin on ropes, and chokes him by standing on him!

Big E gets Sami and TOSSES him out of the ring! Big E CLUBS Sami, throws heavy body shots, then puts Sami in and on the apron. Big E CLUBS Sami more while Azeez checks on Apollo. Apollo runs at Big E but Big E DECKS him! Big E puts Apollo on the apron next to Sami and CLUBS away on both men! Big E climbs to the apron and is fired up, as he hits a DOUBLE APRON SPLASH!! Kevin FLIES and takes Big E out! The Prizefighter might be back as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns again and Big E fires off elbows on Apollo! Big E runs but into a big dropkick! Big E crawls and gets out of the ring but Apollo goes out to RAM him into steel steps! Azeez rallies for Apollo but Kevin goes after Apollo! Apollo blocks the steel step bump to bump Kevin off them instead! Apollo sees Big E outside, to APRON MOONSAULT! Direct hit and Big E is down, but Sami blindsides Apollo! They brawl, Apollo bumps Sami off barriers and throws body shots! “IT’S MY TITLE!” Apollo whips but Sami goes up and he MOONSAULTS! Sami gloats that he took Apollo down but then Kevin CLOBBERS Sami!

Kevin puts Sami in, climbs up top, SWANTON BOMB! Cover, but Big E breaks it! Big E and Kevin brawl with haymakers! Kevin ROCKS Big E and gets the edge, but runs into a clinch! He headbutts free, runs again, but Big E CLOBBERS Kevin! Apollo gets in but Big E elbows the waistlock! Big E runs but into a FLAPJACK HOTSHOT! GERMAN SUPLEX from Apollo, and he holds on to GERMAN SUPLEX again! Apollo still holds on, for a third GERMAN SUPLEX! Cover, but Kevin BACK SENTONS it apart! Kevin sees Sami get in, but runs into a CORNER EPXLODER! Sami takes aim, corner to corner but no kick! Kevin wants a Stunner but Sami rolls him up, TWO!!

Kevin walks into a kick, and a MICHINOKU DRIVER!! Cover, TWO!! Sami is furious but he’s after Kevin in another corner. Sami ROCKS Kevin, hoists him up top, and climbs up. Kevin fights the superplex to SUPER FISHERMAN BUSTER!! Cover, Apollo hurries in to break it! Azeez is relieved as Apollo kicks Big E. Big E puts Apollo on the apron but runs into a KNEE! Kevin is on the apron, he kicks Apollo but no stunner! Apollo fireman’s carries for an APRON DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!! But Big E returns to SPEAR Apollo off the apron!! Big E is fired up and the ThunderDome is roaring as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns yet again and Apollo CLUBS Big E down in the ring. Apollo gets Big E up, snap suplexes then covers, TWO! Apollo drags Big E back up, KICKS him, but has to stomp Sami out of the ring, and then does the same to Kevin! Apollo DECKS Big E, stomps Sami, then rains down furious fists on Big E! Azeez and Apollo are both fired up as Apollo gets Big E back up. Apollo whips, Big E reverses and BELLY2BELLY! Sami leaps into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Apollo runs into another Belly2Belly! Big E runs, runs but Sami HELLUVA KICKS! Kevin gets in to whip Sami for a pop-up, but Sami slips out!

Sami wants the Half ‘n’ Half but Kevin elbows free, to pump handle USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO!! Kevin is too tired to be frustrated but he stomps Apollo down. Kevin goes to the top rope but Apollo trips him up! Kevin clubs Apollo, Apollo throws hands and headbutts! Apollo staggers to Sami but into a jawbreaker! Sami whips, Apollo reverses but Sami boots back, only to get caught into a fisherman! Big E adds on, GERMAN EXPLODER BOMBO! Kevin hits  a FROG SPLASH on Big E! Cover, TWO!! All four men are down and the fans fire up! Big E bails out, Apollo and Sami flounder to opposite corners. Kevin takes aim and runs, to clothesline Apollo! And CANNONBALL Sami!

Kevin keeps moving but Big E is in! Kevin gets a GERMAN SUPLEX! Big E and Apollo are in one corner, for a CANNONBALL! Sami hits a HALF ‘N’ HALF, to BLUE THUNDER BOMB on Kevin! Cover, TWO!! Sami can’t believe it, but he hurries to get Kevin to a drop zone. Azeez checks on Apollo, Sami climbs up top. Apollo returns to anchor Sami, Sami throws hands to send him away! Big E returns, throws hands but Sami kicks him away. Sami leaps over Kevin, but into a scoop! SUPERKICK for Big E! SUPERKICK for Sami! POP-UP BOMB for Apollo!! Cover, TWO!! Apollo survives but Kevin wants to finish this!

Sami lurks around, and he drags Kevin out! Sami RAMS Kevin into barriers, then runs in, but Kevin TOSSES him into the timekeeper’s area! Apollo runs in but into a BOOT! Kevin puts Apollo in but Sami gets him with a HALF ‘N’ HALF to the floor!! Sami aims at Apollo but runs into an Urenag-E!! Apollo wants a slam, Big E slips out and hits the BIG ENDING! Cover, but Azeez attacks! No disqualifications but this is still bunk! Azeez scoops Big E, but Big E POSTS him!! Big E hurries back in, but the lighting changes? Where’s Apollo? What’s going on with the cameras? What is this smoke?! Is that ALEISTER BLACK?!?!

Aleister gets in the ring, Apollo is after Big E’s leg! BLACK MASS to Big E!! Apollo covers, Apollo wins!!?

Winner: Apollo Crews, by pinfall (still WWE Intercontinental Champion)

Apollo still has his gold thanks to the sinister strike of the sadistic storyteller! Will Aleister look to make Big E’s bright future #FadeToBlack? And while Apollo is celebrating now, will he be able to hang onto this title going through Hell (in a Cell)?


My Thoughts:

A really good SmackDown but honestly, with some stuff that made it feel more like a recent Monday Night Raw. Yes, it is great to have a moment to acknowledge all the champions on the SmackDown roster, and it was natural for Roman to exclude himself from all of that, but it was a bit passé to have it lead right into a match. Though that is also very Teddy Long, so they probably couldn’t help but do this. The Six Woman was alright, but rather written into a corner. With Bianca VS Bayley going to happen again, neither of them was taking a loss, and it might’ve been too much for one of them to win, so that left it to the tag teams. I suppose another title match on Raw is good for ratings, but it’s glaringly obvious WWE is barely trying with the main roster women’s tag division.

It’s almost a shame Eric Bugenhagen, who was Joseph Average and is now Rick Boogz, was with Nakamura tonight for the rematch with Corbin. Not for Boogz, because he did amazing on the guitar and has a lot of natural energy and charisma. This is more a shame for Nakamura and Corbin because of Boogz’s energy and charisma. Boogz with Nakamura distracting Corbin so Nakamura could win doesn’t really help Nakamura stay the King of Strong Style. It should just be a 1v1 feud, the crown on the line as the prize. That would help both Nakamura and Corbin out while they wait their turn in the upper midcard for a title opportunity to show up.

Speaking of which, the Roman Reigns story is still going well. Rollins interjecting to keep Cesaro from getting another match makes sense given he went after Cesaro at the end of Backlash. Looking at it now, I would’ve skipped having Rollins attack Cesaro at the end of Backlash to make his attack tonight seem even more unprovoked and random. Cesaro’s arm would still be bad from things that happened during the match at Backlash, and the neck could be played up because of Roman’s guillotine hold, and then Rollins makes both of those worse tonight. Cesaro VS Rollins surely happens at Hell in a Cell, Cell optional, and maybe Rollins wins to get even from WrestleMania 37.

Then, Jimmy wants him and Jey to get back into the tag title scene, and that scene desperately needs something more, but obviously there’s still the issue of Roman being so domineering. He won’t even consider taking credit for “letting” the Usos go for the gold, he just wants the Usos to do what he wants. We’re still on course for Jimmy having to literally fight his family on this, and Roman VS Jimmy at Hell in a Cell in the cell is still how I see this going. The Profits had a good promo to get on the Usos about the dysfunction, and I think that match still happens because Roman doesn’t like the disrespect they’re showing the family. There’s also a chance the Profits win in a way to further things with Roman and Jimmy, too.

Dominik winning is all well and good but I’m surprised it was against Roode. I want to say, “Doesn’t SmackDown have anyone else?” but it feels like no, they don’t. The Mysterios had their feud with the Alpha Academy, so there wasn’t going to be Dom VS Gable. I don’t necessarily want to see a team taken from NXT but something needs to happen to make the RawDown Tag Divisions feel strong again. Still hoping for Kevin and Sami, but who knows. The Fatal 4 Way went about as I expected, but to think Apollo would get lucky that now, of all nights, Aleister decides to go after someone. Sometimes, WWE just can’t let Heel champions be strong on their own, and that’s annoying.

But Aleister going after Big E makes so much sense given how Aleister’s portraying himself. Aleister is the voice of negativity telling us all we’re wretched weaklings, but Big E is the optimism raising us up. These two make natural opponents, and this could be something that helps propel Big E into the upper card. Not that Aleister has tasted top title scene status much himself, but Aleister himself has to start somewhere if he’s to ever hold more than the NXT Championship.

My Score: 8.2/10


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More From Japan

NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.187 ~ 29TH SEPTEMBER 2022

Keiji Mutoh continues his Retirement tour and bringing out faces from the past! NOAH has a new champion! Interesting inter-promotional battles on the horizon as well!

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NEWS

Kaito Kiyomiya is the new GHC Heavyweight Champion, nominates Kazuyuki Fujita as challenger

Following provocation by Kenoh not only saying that he was going to be the one to inherit Keiji Mutoh’s Shining Wizard and the memory of Keiji Mutoh himself (and the outright claim that Kiyomiya would simply forget about Mutoh once Mutoh had retired, which Kiyomiya didn’t even bother responding to), Kenoh went one step further at their last pre match on the 19th September by pulling Keiji Mutoh’s pose, kissing his hand, putting it to Kiyomiya’s lips and then exploding it. Kiyomiya erupted in fury at this, it was far more than any verbal provocation of Kenoh’s, which I guess he has learned to ignore over the years. They fought for the GHC Heavyweight in Nagoya on September 25th, with Kiyomiya emerging victorious following a modified Shining Wizard. As Kenoh left it was like a spell was broken. Kenoh went backstage and muttered about Kiyomiya being the company favorite and in his interview the day after winning the title, Kiyomiya said nothing about Keiji Mutoh. Mutoh as we know had been a focus of both Kiyomiya and Kenoh leading up to the title match.

Back in the ring, Kiyomiya called out his next opponent. Kazuyuki Fujita. Fujita came to the ring, carrying a can of beer which he swigged from. Getting in the ring he circled Kiyomiya and took off his t-shirt. Kiyomiya said that he was expecting a fight, but Fujita did something that no other NOAH wrestler had (or perhaps would) do, and that was to throw himself at Kiyomiya and then make nuzzling motions against his head, while he licked the belt. Kiyomiya pushed him off, and Fujita retaliated by pouring beer over his head.

Kiyomiya screaming that he hated beer was met with Fujita toasting him from the ramp and yelling “Kampaiii” (“cheers”) after a fight had broken out, and Kiyomiya threw him from the ring.

 

Backstage, Kiyomiya said his reason for nominating Kazuyuki Fujita as his challenger was that he had never been defeated for the GHC Heavyweight. Fujita had to give up the belt due to Coronavirus. It has been a recurring theme of most of the GHC Heavyweight champions since Go Shiozaki, that Fujita has been the man to beat in order to cement yourself as champion. Kiyomiya was picking up that torch.

As for Fujita, he played it as if he was a Casanova and had been asked out on a date by warning Kiyomiya that when you experience Fujita, you can never go back because you were never going to be the same. He was going to “make it a night to remember”. He sipped his beer, and licked his lips afterwards.

Title match has been set for NOAH’s return to Ariake on the 30th October.

STINGER lose, NOAH Junior Regulars win, enter Tadasuke (with a chair)

Following a period of brutal attacks on Seiki Yoshioka (by the end of the match he could hardly use one side of his body) and a title challenge where Atsushi Kotoge was bloodied up, The NOAH Junior Regulars emerged victorious and bought the tag titles home to their unit. They had very little time to celebrate their win and put ice on their wounds, when Tadasuke burst in and attacked Atsushi Kotoge with a chair while Hi69 beat up on the already incapacitated Seiki Yoshioka. Tadasuke (wild grin on his face) got on the microphone and made a challenge for the tag titles. Then Tadasuke wiped the blood from Kotoge that had got on his hands on his hair, leaving red streaks in the peroxide. Tadasuke was even waving the bloodied seat of the chair, which had detached during the attack, around backstage.

Title match will be on the 30th October when NOAH return to the Ariake complex.

Takashi Sugiura and Satoshi Kojima, NOAH’s most dysfunctional tag team, win the GHC Heavyweight tag titles

It must be said that with the combined efforts of Satoshi Kojima and Hideki Suzuki, we almost have our Sugi back.

At the press conference/title match signing, Sugi and Kojima appeared dressed in suits and wearing dark glasses. They looked something between The Men In Black and “Dangerous Detectives” (as Tokyo Sports called them  which stems from a Japanese TV show). Hideki Suzuki was on form, not only mistranslating Timothy Thatcher and stating at one point that Thatcher said he came to Japan to “beat you up” and being rude to a journalist for being overfamiliar with his “punk mouth”, the highlight of the press conference was his long close up stare at Sugi, who was trying not to laugh.

The dysfunctional team won the titles in Nagoya on the 25th September, and despite their falling out during the match, Sugi actually gave Kojima a proper handshake. Then they went back to squabbling backstage over Kojima talking on the mic when it was Sugi who got the win. No challengers have come forward as of yet.

HAYATA retains the GHC Junior, Ninja Mack makes his long awaited challenge

It had been an emotional match for YO-HEY, and for fans. Cutting out the aerial techniques that had characterized their earlier matches, both he and HAYATA demonstrated how much they had both evolved by concentrating on a more NOAH based ground attack with submissions. YO-HEY might have failed in the challenge, but he had at least gotten one win over HAYATA in the pre-match. He knew the title match would be different and he would need to level up, and afterwards he reflected and said he would start from rock bottom in order to make his next challenge. What fans had noticed that while things had changed between them, some things were the same, such as YO-HEY coloring his hair, his tongue (and even his boxer shorts) purple, which is HAYATA’s color, and HAYATA not speaking as much as he has done in previous title challenges, as he is content to let YO-HEY talk. After the match, Ninja Mack came to challenge. HAYATA accepted by saying, that he was “finally interested in the belt” and acknowledging him as challenger. Title match will of course be on the 30th October. But HAYATA is not immediately going into a fallout match with Ninja Mack at NOAH’s next event on the 30th, but is having a tag match against YO-HEY.

Keiji Mutoh’s Retirement Road

Keiji Mutoh has been very busy.

– 23rd September: Great Muta appears in AEW

The Great Muta made a surprise appearance in AEW to rescue Sting, who had been tied to a chair by Darby Allen. Muta came to the ring, advanced on Sting and then turned and spat green mist into the face of Allen and then reunited with Sting. Keiji Mutoh announced that Sting would attend Muta’s retirement on the 22nd in Yokohama, but has not said in what capacity, although it is assumed that they will tag. Regarding any further appearances in America, Mutoh said he didn’t think it was likely, but did warn that The Great Muta may pop up somewhere as you never knew where he would turn up next.

– 25th September: Keiji Mutoh Retirement Road: Love Forever 2

Keiji Mutoh teamed with his junior Kazuyuki Fujita to take on Mutoh’s classmate, Masakatsu Funaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima, who Mutoh has known since he was a boy, and still calls affectionately “Katsuhiko”. Nakajima said he was going to break up this class reunion, and while Mutoh did get kicked (Nakajima smirked and said it was fun when Mutoh later complained his leg still hurt) but it was Fujita who got the worst of it. During the match, Nakajima pulled out Mutoh’s Space Rolling Elbow. Mutoh was initially not pleased, but then he became very happy to see it and said that he thought that “Katsuhiko” did it because he had some small measure of feeling for him. I think had Nakajima been a more acrobatic wrestler, Mutoh might have handed it to him. Mutoh won the match with The Shining Wizard, pinning Nakajima. This was Mutoh’s farewell to Nagoya, his classmate, his junior and Nakajima.

– 26th September: Hiroshi Tanahashi comes to the press conference and a tag match is announced

Hiroshi Tanahashi presented 38 roses to Mutoh when he came to the press conference. Each rose symbolizes a year of Mutoh’s career. Mutoh joked that he should have laid them at his feet, as had happened in boxing recently. Tanahashi said he wasn’t good at ad-libbing, and then introduced himself as “one of the greatest New Japan talents in the past one hundred years”. During the press conference, a tag match was announced. New Japan’s Hiroshi Tanahashi, Togi Makabe and Honma Tomoaki will team together against the team of Naomichi Marufuji, Keiji Mutoh and Keiji Mutoh. This will take place on the 30th October. Mutoh has not given up hope of appearing one final time in the New Japan ring.

– 16th October: A new match is announced

NOAH announced that due to fan demand, Keiji Mutoh will be appearing in Fukuoka. He will tag with Ninja Mack and Satoshi Kojima against Naomichi Marufuji, HAYATA and Jack Morris. Satoshi Kojima is of course connected to Mutoh through All Japan and New Japan, Naomichi Marufuji has wanted a match against Mutoh (he will be tagging with him as we know on the 30th October) and HAYATA has been a big fan of Mutoh for a while, as he has influenced a lot of his style and persona. HAYATA thinks of himself and The Great Muta as “The Phantom Team”. Muta doesn’t like to speak and HAYATA said, neither does he.

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima head overseas

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima will appear for Evolution Pro Wrestling in New York for their anniversary show on November 12th. Marufuji’s match is yet to be announced, but Nakajima will take on Josh Alexander. Alexander has said he wonders how Nakajima is going to kick after he snaps his ankle. They will also appear at King of Indies in San Francisco on November 19th.

NOSAWA vs Katsuhiko Nakajima (and Kenoh)

After being beaten up by Katsuhiko Nakajima who gave him some pretty stiff soccerball kicks outside the ring at Korakuen Hall recently, (although he would tell you that Nakajima tried to beat him up), NOSAWA Rongai has been on a quest to face Nakajima in a match. Then he threw in Kenoh, so it could be himself and Eita versus Kongoh. Hideki Suzuki told him that he was probably going to die, but NOSAWA has taken no notice and kept on with his demand. His demand has not been met because rather than facing Nakajima and Kenoh, NOAH have booked him against rookies Yasutaka Yano and Kai Fujimura. NOSAWA thinks he is having to go through some kind of trial.

ELSEWHERE IN NOAH

– Hideki Suzuki has hinted that perhaps Takashi Sugiura might like to get back online.

– Yoshiki Inamura and YO-HEY continued their guild, despite the fact that YO-HEY said someone attacked and burned their castle down. A picture was taken of YO-HEY and Inamura playing the game, with YO-HEY seated cross legged on Inamura, who was doing a bridge in the ring. We have seen Inamura used as a weight, but is he now used as furniture?

– NOAH’s Director, Narihiro Takeda, wrote on a NOAH Note that he would like for Darby Allin to come to NOAH one day.

– Tadasuke got a match thrown out by ripping off Alejandro’s mask. Tadasuke did not care, and did not even respond when Alejandro asked if he wanted a mask for himself?

– Daiki Inaba had his long awaited singles match with Katsuhiko Nakajima, but failed to revenge himself for Nakajima’s behavior in W-1. Nakajima even went for the cocky pin by grinning and leaning on Inaba.

– There was usual chaos at the NOAH Junior Space sessions as Daisuke Harada is not there to take control. Atsushi Kotoge seems to be the main culprit, forgetting to invite Seiki Yoshioka in and at one time even failing to press record.

– It’s probably best that Daiki Inaba, who apparently likes to be in the nip backstage, was not present when NOAH was at Differ. It was bad enough that Sugi used to wander around naked…

– Mitsuharu Misawa wrote in a diary entry for 2006 about filming an advert for THE LEAVE, and having to sing first thing in the morning while they were filming. Probably due to the fact that he had a problem with his throat anyway, was a heavy smoker and had taken “so many chops and kicks” to it in his career, he said he sounded very hoarse.

EVENT RECAPS AND POST MATCH PROMOS

SUNNY VOYAGE – September 19th 

Event recap

Post match promos

N-INNOVATION – September 21st 

Event recap

Post match promos

GRAND SHIP 2022 IN NAGOYA/KEIJI MUTOH RETIREMENT ROAD – September 25th

Event recap

Post match promos

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

  • GHC Heavyweight Champion: Kaito Kiyomiya
    Challenger: Kazuyuki Fujita, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Junior Champion: HAYATA
    Challenger: Ninja Mack, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: KojiSugi (Satoshi Kojima & Takashi Sugiura)
    Challengers: TBA
  • GHC Junior Tag Champions: The NOAH Junior Regulars (Atsushi Kotoge & Seiki Yoshioka)
    Challengers: Kongoh Juniors (Tadasuke & Hi69), [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC National Champion: Masakatsu Funaki
    Challenger: Masa Kitamiya, SUNNY VOYAGE 2022 – Friday September 30th (Bandaijima Multi-Purpose Square Ogama)

(This event will not be broadcast live, but hopefully this match will be shown via Instagram)

THIS WEEK IN NOAH

(October 2022 schedule)

– Friday, October 7th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse/ABEMA (live)

– Saturday, October 8th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse (live)

Note about broadcasts

Unless you are living in Japan or have a VPN you know is compatible with ABEMA, please do not subscribe to the service. For fans living outside of Japan, a subscription to WrestleUniverse would be better as they show more NOAH shows than ABEMA, and usually the events get uploaded very quickly. ABEMA broadcasts are only in Japanese, you can only watch them live, and this is the only NOAH they show. They do not broadcast old shows as these belong to Samurai TV.

BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES

Wednesday, 5th October: Keiji Mutoh debut anniversary (38)

Wednesday, 5th October: Seiki Yoshioka debut anniversary (14)

LINKS

“I want to protect this belt for the rest of my life”, new GHC champion Kiyomiya holds morning press conference to establish a new NOAH landscape

Mutoh’s Retirement Road, tag match against Tanahashi in round three: “I want to grab the secret of secrets”, Tanahashi presents 38 roses

Great Muta teaming up with Sting for last match? “Agent” Mutoh’s opinion 

“I wonder if I can transmit more” YO-HEY aims to revitalize the junior ark with his first championship

AEW Shock! Great Muta appears in America! Rescues Sting and shake of hands

“Follow Me You Bastards” – Kenoh’s Weekly Pro Column

GHC Junior Match Signing: YO-HEY “Last Chance, I don’t think as my ex partner now”, HAYATA “I don’t feel anything”

“Taka & Satoshi” reveal a “dangerous detective” look, mischievous Suzuki is a reckless interpreter, the GHC tag signing ceremony is thrown into chaos by bizarre question and answer between the two teams

 A “Comrade” and an “Older Brother”, Masakatsu Funaki talks about his thoughts on Mutoh’s retirement, “I want to kick him mercilessly”

BOOK CORNER

“Donmai, Donmai” – Mitsuharu Misawa’s diary

With thanks to: Metal NOAH

GIF taken from WrestleUniverse & NOAH Official YouTube

Picture credit: YO-HEY & NOAH.co.jp


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Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 9.29.2022

Bound for Glory is 8 days away, but Victory Road just happened. What kind of show do we get with some fallout and penultimate hype?

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Victory Road just happened, but Bound for Glory is like 8 nights away? You know I forgot that it was such a quick turn around. That makes tonight weird, since there’s some fallout, but then there’s gonna be a lot of table setting for Bound for Glory.

This episode could be awful. The last week or so haven’t exactly set the world afire, so I’m curious if the highlight really is just gonna be the Monster’s Ball with Masha and Allie Katch.

*insert joke about possibly gagging and balls and Swinger’s Dungeon*

Ratings:

  • Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid: Bullet Club win via Finesse & Fold – **
  • IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve: Myers retains via Roster Cut – ** 1/2
  • Delirious vs Black Taurus: Black Taurus wins via Destination Hellhole – ** 1/4
  • PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath: Rich wins via Phoenix Splash – ** 1/4
  • Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – *** 1/2

Results:

Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid

I don’t think I could care less about this match if I tried. Trey and Laredo are worthless. Laredo has eaten so many terrible losses and Trey is just bad. If the BC Juniors don’t win…I will really question the booking.

My biggest takeaway early is the commentary tries to put over Trey “turning heads”. No he doesn’t, he is legitimately hard to watch and everything that Will Ospreay did wrong in his early career; is basically Trey, but with less personality. Oh did you expect play by play? They isolate Laredo, decent tandem attacks, when Trey comes in it’s bad offense typical Cruiser garbage with laughable facials and body language.

Just typical crap with Trey. Were there some cool high spots? Sure. Do I care? NOPE.

IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve

Steve starts with some of his quirky mat wrestling, Arm Wringers into Drop Toe Holds and face biting. It shocked Myers early, but he takes a small shortcut and starts trying to slow down the psycho from Decay. Steve bounces off the ropes and Myers does his sliding trip move before commercial.

Back from commercial, Snapmare from Steve and the neck twister into some corner offense of Hip Attacks and Sentons for 2. Myers dodges King Kill 33, lands a few pot shots, Implant DDT for 2. Into the corner, face bite, Upside Down, after the rope break Myers grabs the referee to block Steve. Eye Poke, Roster Cut, AND STILL…

Simple, but entertaining. Plus it continues Myers’ arrogant, full of himself for absolutely no reason persona. Oh and he offers up an Open Challenge for Bound for Glory. Maybe Bobby Fish? Someone new? Could be interesting. 

Delirious vs Black Taurus

Delirious is between gibberish and Stone Cold early on while they’re just trading shots. Delirious twists the Nose Ring…in the mask…and Taurus sells it momentarily before stomping the foot and decking him. This is just a weird match. I mean we all know Delirious is weird, but he’s not all comedy; and Taurus is supposed to be legit-ish.

Admittedly, with the exception of Victory Road, it has been years since I’ve watched a Delirious match. So the level of ridiculousness has hit Toru Yano levels, especially after the 10 count Leg Drops. Taurus powders, comes back in, Shoulder Tackle, Blackhole Backbreaker into a Samoan Drop. As soon as Taurus looks in charge, Delirious throws together a combo, eats a Headbutt and then Destination Hellhole.

Sheesh okay after 2 interview segments we get to Honor No More’s victory celebration segment. Just a lot of talking and inaction, so this just goes to feed that weird feeling I had coming into the show because of the timing. Eddie does the usual thing where hates on PCO and accuses him of being the weak link, which is a smart story angle since the fans tend to like PCO’s gimmick and this makes him more sympathetic to casual observers. 

Oh good Taven is talking nowWait did I just say that? DAMN YOU IMPACT! Made me like Matt Taven. Maria stirs the pot a little saying that Eddie is a better wrestler than Josh and Moose…by the implications. 

Thank God, Josh Alexander finally breaks up the segment with…more talking. Okay never mind. Jesus since the end of the Delirious match it was like 15 minutes before Josh finally charged the ring and threw down a bit with Honor No More. Rich Swann and Heath make a bit of the babyface save for Josh, but the numbers are still on Honor No More’s side. Oh MCMG come down in a tracksuit and dress clothes! Someone wasn’t ready to be doing a run in.

PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath

Well isn’t that convenient that four of the men in the donnybrook were supposed to be in a match anyway.

Rich uses his quickness to try and stay ahead of PCO, but PCO cuts him off in the corner into the Corner Hung Codebreaker, then the leaned against the ropes Leg Drop thing. Vincent throws together a T-Bone Suplex into a Flatliner and keeps the vibes flowing on Rich Swann.

PCO clears out Heath, but PCO’s hand gets stuck in the ropes. Vincent eats a flip kick and the Phoenix Splash while PCO and Heath are brawling on the outside after the rope issue with PCO.

Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch

Haymakers and Headbutts start things off as they both hit the ropes and lay out one another with dual clotheslines. Trash can lid duel, Masha gets first contact, but Allie blocks and returns 3 shots. German Suplex from Masha into whipping her with a chain, some choking and then general pulling with the chain in Katch’s mouth or around her eyes. Katch claws at Masha’s eyes to try and get some space.

Headbutts and Biting from Masha as Allie tries to power out of a Bow and Arrow. More chain choking…I’m not sure if this is a wrestling match or BDSM prep at the moment. Ahh Masha needs more Cowbell but Allie cuts her off with a trash can lid. Allie tries a Piledriver through a door, but Masha turns it into an Air Raid Crash into the opposite corner.

Commercial break, and Allie is getting choked again. Spots get a little redundant, slams, chokes, and blood. OHHH – it’s a “Use the Door” chant. I thought it was – nah – I won’t say what I thought it was. Chairshot from Masha misses, but a Snap Suplex from Masha onto the chair gets some usefulness. Straight Right to the gut and an Axe Kick allows Masha to hit the Death Valley Driver onto the propped up chair. Masha goes back to biting after it was only 2. Allie cuts off Masha going to the top, Superplex onto the trash can lid, into a Death Valley Driver through the door – but Masha kicks out.

Allie tries a Piledriver on the apron a few times, but Masha blocks. Masha tries for the Release German to the floor but Allie holds on. Dazed strikes, bites and then a Russian Leg Sweep through the table lays both out for a short time. Masha grabs a black bag, it’s gotta be tacks for Monster’s Ball. Masha eats a few tacks for good show, picks up Allie but Allie fights. Piledriver into the tacks from Allie, only 2. Allie opens a trash can, and empties a bunch of cut up soda cans. Hits Masha with the can, Masha fires, Spinning Heel Kick and then Russian Death Device into the pile of tacks and cans.

Overall Score: 6.25/10

The main event was pretty good, maybe even a little better than I gave it credit for; I’m just sick of seeing some crazy hardcore match so often from Impact. It feels like its weekly, and that’s too damn much. Trey is terrible, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. He sells poorly, he doesn’t tell a story with his wrestling and he looks like an idiot pretending to be something he isn’t; and that’s talented.

Myers is fine with his classic delusional heel style, Delirious gave a bit of a rub to Taurus so I’m guessing he’s probably next up in the X Division. But a straight 15 minutes of interviews and talking is just too damn much especially when the surrounding wrestling isn’t very good or hearty enough to help people tolerate talking time.

I do however love Joe Hendry. So…yeah. There’s always some quirky gimmicks that just resonate well with me, and this is gorgeous.

All in all, decent enough; though next week could be a real banger of a Go Home.


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