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Andrew’s Top 5 Matches: Week Ending 6/6/2021

Hey this looks familiar. You know between 9-5 work drama, a few personal hiccups and general disinterest, I definitely fell off the wagon here. But things seem to be turning the corner, and we had a decent week of wrestling, with entertaining results.

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Hey this looks familiar. You know between 9-5 work drama, a few personal hiccups and general disinterest, I definitely fell off the wagon here. But things seem to be turning the corner, and we had a decent week of wrestling, with entertaining results.

Now let’s assess May. There was only 2 articles, so we’ve got either Wrestling Dontaku: Will Ospreay vs Shingo Takagi or WrestleMania Backlash: Roman Reigns vs Cesaro. This should be a fun heads up. Maybe…just maybe I’ll allow 2 wildcard entries at the end of the year to make up for my personal setbacks.

Out of the heads up duel, I’m voting for Ospreay vs Shingo since that is currently my top match of the year.

But let’s get started with these June matches!

Quick Top 5:

  1. CyberFight Festival: Princess of Princess Title: Miyu Yamashita (c) vs Yuka Sakazaki
    Rating: **** ½
  2. Road to Dominion: 6.2.2021: NEVER 6 Man Championships: CHAOS (YOSHI-HASHI, Tomohiro Ishii & Hirooki Goto) (c) vs LIJ (SANADA, Tetsuya Naito & BUSHI)
    Rating: ****
  3. CyberFight Festival: KO-D Openweight Championship: Jun Akiyama (c) vs HARASHIMA
    Rating: ****
  4. CyberFight Festival: GHC Heavyweight Championship: Keiji Mutoh (c) vs Naomichi Marufuji
    Rating: ****
  5. Dragon Gate: King of Gate Finals: Kzy vs Kota Minoura
    Rating: *** ¾
  6. Road to Dominion 6.1.2021: IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championship: G.o.D. (c) vs Dangerous Tekkers
    Rating: *** ¾

Honorable Mentions:

  • NXT: NXT Tag Team Championship: MSK (c) vs Legado del Fantasma
    Rating: *** ½
  • IMPACT: X Division 2 out of 3 Falls: TJP vs Josh Alexander (c)
    Rating: *** ½
  • NXT UK: Ilja Dragunov vs Noam Dar
    Rating: *** ½
  • WWE Raw: Drew McIntyre vs Kofi Kingston
    Rating: *** ¼

5t. Road to Dominion 6.1.2021: IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championship: G.o.D. (c) vs Dangerous Tekkers

This match signified the return of Miho Abe and Taichi’s first match as he’s on the mend from covid. Thankfully Red Shoes throws out Jado and DOUKI at the beginning, so we get as close to a fair fight as possible.

The Guerrillas really do a lot to sell Taichi’s vulnerability. They throw a ton of moves at them, isolate Taichi at different points and gas out Holy Emperor fairly early. But he really takes on more of his Kawada characteristics when he hits the Dangerous T, Jumping High Kick and generally seems sick of their shit at some point.

Every tandem move that used to earn G.o.D. vicotries was used. Guerilla Warfare, Assisted Powerbomb, Flying Splash & Headbutt, Magic Killer…all for one of the Suzuki-Gun members to kick out. Finally Tama calls for the Super Powerbomb, but it gets stopped. Jado comes back out with Gedo, they look to cheat on behalf of G.o.D. but DOUKI makes a save! It wasn’t pretty, but it was effective enough.

Taichi tries to clean up hitting Zack Mephisto on Loa and then Zack urges Taichi to fight his burning lungs, and they hit Holy Zack Driver on Tama for the victory!

Post-match Taichi is very humble and even Zack takes a step away from his prick persona at times to be humble, while they both seem to really enjoy Miho’s presence. Are we seeing Suzuki-Gun face turns?

Winner: Tekkers via Holy Zack Driver

 

5t. Dragon Gate: King of Gate Finals: Kzy vs Kota Minoura

King of Gate is Dragon Gate’s G1. Kzy has fought for years just to be the perpetual underdog, but with Shingo leaving a few years ago, Mochizuki freelancing, Yoshino retiring and YAMATO & Doi being on the veteran side of the game, Dragon Gate needs to finally pull the trigger on younger talent.

This was an interesting match that was paced nicely. Both men keep up with the other’s agility and both are adept at submissions. They would both chain a trip or springboard miss into a submission attempt. While Minoura was looking for a Crossface, Kzy kept trying to get in his Spider Twist (a Koji Clutch/Cobra Twist/Shoulder Lock combination).

As the pace quickened it was hard to see where the dust was going to settle. Minoura had a great rolling Head and Leg cradle attempt to counter Kzy, but it wasn’t until Kzy locked in the Spider Twist again that Minoura saw no way out and tapped.

Now can Kzy win the Open the Dream Gate title?

Winner: Kzy via Spider Twist

 

2t. CyberFight Festival: GHC Heavyweight Championship: Keiji Mutoh (c) vs Naomichi Marufuji

This was easily Mutoh’s best match as GHC champion and it played on a lot. We saw quickness and familiarity since they’re friends, both seemed to really enjoy just trading shots. Mutoh definitely tried to work the submissions early, even locking in a Scorpion Deathlock (Riki Choshu special) and then he drops the feet to fake the Muta Lock, but he just leans back into more of an awkward Indian Deathlock.

Both men blocked signatures and finishers left and right, then Muta played around in the sequence that beat Shiozaki, just in a different order. Three Shining Wizards, a double clutch Emerald Flowsion, but Marufuji kicked out. Mutoh hits the backbreaker and climbs the ropes. The move he couldn’t pull off at Budokan, HE HITS THE MOONSAULT! I’m nearly positive that’s his first one since the knee surgery.

But Marufuji writhes and Mutoh can’t make the cover as he hurt himself, favoring his surgically repaired knees. Marufuji takes advantage and the kicks fly. Five Hole, Hook Kick, Round Kick, Hook Kick, True Tiger King, but Mutoh kicks out. KO-OH, but Mutoh refuses to go down. So Marufuji pulls out the KO-Zero, and we have a new champion!

The Genius of NOAH is back on top!

Winner: Marufuji via KO-Zero

 

2t. CyberFight Festival: KO-D Openweight Championship: Jun Akiyama (c) vs HARASHIMA

DDT’s main event has a beloved protégé of the Pillars as the defending champion and someone who has been on the rise for years. HARASHIMA has been on of DDT’s brighter lights after Tetsuya Endo for good wrestling.

HARASHIMA took a lot of aggression to Akiyama early. Strikes and speed were on the younger man’s side, but Akiyama always managed to find an Exploder to slow the match down and slowly fight he way back into the match. After a great back and forth, Akiyama locks in the King Crab Lock, wrestles HARASHIMA down and the referee has to call for the bell.

Winner: Akiyama via King Crab Lock

 

2t. Road to Dominion: 6.2.2021: NEVER 6 Man Championships: CHAOS (YOSHI-HASHI, Tomohiro Ishii & Hirooki Goto) (c) vs LIJ (SANADA, Tetsuya Naito & BUSHI)

You all remember when the 6 Man titles were a joke? I mean they aren’t super serious since YOSHI-HASHI has one, but I’ll give credit where it’s due, these matches have exceeded previous expectations. If LIJ don’t win this match, you have to expect it will be BUSHI eating the pin, even though Goto and SANADA have had tension while Naito and Ishii seem to be building something.

We see this match play on a lot of previous things, including Goto hitting the Goto Shiki on SANADA (which pinned him in the preliminary tag the day prior) but SANADA kicked out and didn’t take it kindly. Ishii wanted Naito from the beginning, but Naito played coy with tagging in and out, so when Ishii finally got him; he made every strike count.

As is usually their dynamic, Goto and Ishii do most of the impressive heavy lifting, but YOSHI-HASHI is in at the end to reap the rewards and the rub. HASHI is still lame, and Kota Minoura from the earlier match has a much more convincing Butterfly Lock, but I guess we have to tolerate more of HASHI with a title. But the match is still pretty damn solid.

Winner: YOSHI-HASHI via Butterfly Lock

 

1. CyberFight Festival: Princess of Princess Title: Miyu Yamashita (c) vs Yuka Sakazaki

Tokyo Joshi Pro’s main event, and this was impressive. Many know Yuka from her brief stint in AEW, and the bubbly Magical Girl is accurate. But whatever the lead in for this was, Yuka does NOT like Miyu. Miyu on the other hand is TJP’s Ace and a damn impressive wrestler in her own right.

While I almost expected some fun from Yuka, there was none to be had. They struck, and kicked and Yuka was looking for blood. The usually smiling Magical Girl didn’t even so much as smirk once. There were apron drop spots, heavy collisions, hell Yuka went for her springboard Stuka Splash, and she crashed into Miyu as soon as Miyu entered the ring, but Yuka wasn’t happy with it, so she gets up, shakes her head and holds up one finger, just to hit a cleaner one.

This was violent, vindictive, and vengeful…I may need to go back and read what the build was. Because Yuka was already good, but angry Yuka may be my new favorite incarnation. Yuka may have lost since Miyu’s strikes just hit home one too many times, but this felt more like a SEAdLINNNG match. I think this is my top rated women’s match of the year so far. Just gorgeous.

Winner: Miyu Yamashita via Running Knee Strike

Thoughts:

Wow, I picked a good week to remember where my smile was. SO much good wrestling, and I may just cover all of the CyberFight Festival later in the week if I have time. That was really damn good for a super show.

As for best match of the week? I have to give it to my number one. Miyu and Yuka really impressed me, especially since TJP is kinda of like Stardom lite most of the times. They go for more cute and silly than awesome, but I really need more of angry Yuka in my life.

These are all great matches, so none of them are a bad answer. TJP just wins for me. How about you?


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Opinion

King: Plotting The Return Of Randy Orton To WWE

Chris King is back with his look at the best scenario to bring Randy Orton back to WWE, and the perfect opponent for his first big match back.

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Randy Orton 4

Chris King is back with his look at the best scenario to bring Randy Orton back to WWE, and the perfect opponent for his first big match back.

I wanted to bring everyone’s attention to a superstar that’s being overshadowed right now, ‘The Viper’ Randy Orton. After RKBRO lost the Raw Tag Team Championships to The Uso’s, Orton vanished from the company. There was speculation about his serious back injury and, it wasn’t until The Viper’s wife herself posted a candid picture of Orton after successful surgery.

While the focus in WWE right now is either on The Bloodline, Bray Wyatt and Uncle Howdy, or the returning Cody Rhodes, I felt this was a good time to start plotting The Viper’s return to WWE.

Randy Orton’s Return to WWE

On the Raw-After-Mania ‘The American Nightmare’ opens the show after a tough battle over Roman Reigns to win the WWE Championship. Rhodes with tears in his eyes is giving an emotional promo about his family’s legacy, and how much this title means to him. The WWE Universe is chanting “You Deserve It,” and out comes Finn Balor flanked by The Judgement Day.

‘The Prince’ starts by congratulating the new champion for dethroning ‘The Tribal Chief’ but, now he wants his title shot. Rhodes being the resilient hero accepts Balor’s challenge for the main event. The American Nightmare and The Prince are putting on a clinic of a match, delivering multiple finishers but unable to put the other away. Judgement Day starts to interfere when Orton’s music blares throughout the arena. Orton takes out the heels and helps his former protege. Rhodes capitalizes and hits Crossroads for the 1.2.3.

The former Legacy members are celebrating and embracing with a hug as Rhodes goes to raise his newly-won title. In the blink of an eye, The Viper strikes and takes out Rhodes with an RKO Outta Nowhere! The champion is knocked out as Orton hoists the title above his head while trash-talking his now rival. Orton violently throws Rhodes out of the ring and delivers a nasty-looking draping DDT onto the floor.

The Build–And Culmination–of Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

Orton stares giving 2009 vibes as Rhodes’ head raises, so The Viper runs and delivers a punt kick. WWE officials come out and break things up and the champion is stretchered out of the arena. The show closes with Orton grinning over the destruction he has caused to his former protege. Over the next few months, Orton and Rhodes enter into an extremely personal rivalry over the coveted prize. We finally make it to SummerSlam where both men agree to raise the stakes and do war inside HELL IN A CELL!!!!

This is how I would book The Viper’s return to WWE. If you feel like this should be written differently, I’d love to hear your thoughts!


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Opinion

AJ’s Phenomenal Opinion: Bray Wyatt

So everyone loves Bray’s return right? Right? Well the McDonald’s Sprite spicy opinions of AJ…may feel differently.

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Well, just because my work schedule changed, doesn’t mean I’m not going to drop some opinions of mine, of which, I haven’t done too bad with. I got Three out of Five for my returns right a few months back and this is going to be about the last entry on that previous list. I knew for a fact that Bray Wyatt would return to the WWE in some way shape or form and time for some… controversy.

As my favorite ratings winner of 83 Weeks once said, Controversy Creates Cash and boy HOWDY… Do I have something to get off my chest here so sit back, order some Chairshot Merch and lets get on with Adam’s… Rants for a bit.

Initial Thoughts

Bray coming in and making a return to the WWE was an inevitability. Death, Taxes and I guess WWE Returns are always guaranteed anymore and maybe we could get some new creativity with a supernatural gimmick. Bray has always had that supernatural to him ever since he had the Wyatt Family in Erik Rowan, the late Luke Harper and in the end, Braun Strowman. The Wyatt’s had a control like no other and were beloved for a moment in the WWE.

Bray did a lot to make sure things were in motion but for some reason any massive feud he had, he failed. Following a bunch of injuries to the rest of his family and even releases later on, he seemed to at least get some traction going for him. WWE Champion, somehow got Randy Orton with him, Universal Championships and got those big match wins that eluded him in the Wyatt Family beginnings. Let me also say this as well, I actually liked the Firefly Funhouse Match with Cena as a “This is Your Life” match of sorts. I was tickled and entertained… Then much like Bray in character, something changed.

Dark and Terrible Lurk with Fiends

We had a lot to figure out during the Pandemic. Like A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT. Through it all though, WWE figured it out but the person that helped these types of ideas, soured them drastically. Lets go back to the WWE Championship run in 2017. Randy Orton won the Royal Rumble that year and he wouldn’t betray Bray, right? Well he does and Mania for the two is set, Orton against Wyatt for the WWE Championship and it was… terrible. Random images of maggots and decay (Not the IMPACT Stable) popping up into the ring as the match goes on and Randy still wins. Through head game attempts, Bray comes up short in the big match moment. That’s odd but maybe it will be a bigger pictu– and Jinder Mahal wins the Championship. Okay.

Wyatt returns as this Mister Rogers character and has a darkness inside of him with The Fiend. Now we had this amazing theory or maybe that’s what happened but the story was, anyone The Fiend fought, they revert back to their best selves. The Miz returned to be the A Lister, the guy who grabs a microphone that you love to hate. Finn Balor doesn’t have the Demon Gimmick anymore because after his loss, he’s the Prince again. The cocky guy that walks around because he is the best, he gives no care in the world. Seth Rollins, who he took the WWE Universal Championship from, went from a dorky sweetheart back to the asshole taking every opportunity that he could get because he’s that much of a weasel and when he lost… He lost to Goldberg. The one guy that has been the same since 1997. Drums, Pyro Bath, Spear, Jackhammer, “Who’s Next?” and during that time, he sucked at points. One of those Rollins matches was in a Hell In A Cell match, the red cage with the red lighting. Match ending with a Stoppage from the referee… INSIDE OF A HELL IN A CELL (I think Sean Waltman said it best… Why did the match stop? It’s supposed to be Hell?) and it’s one of the rare times that I agreed with wrestling’s favorite Uncle… That was Negative Stars for a match.

After Goldberg, he didn’t have a commanding presence. He recruited Alexa Bliss who was already over whether she was a Heel or Face and made everything so unbelievably… boring. Alexa had to carry that idiotic demon gimmick and doll, not having anything really supernatural. Just some wrestling and Brock Lesnar cleaning up everything faster than a Chop Shop in main events and segments. He tried to return and make his grand return, beating the Universal Champion Braun Strowman at Summerslam just to falter a literal week later to Roman Reigns, who proceeded to never look back from that win. Bray gets fired after and no more supernatural ideas. Undertaker isn’t around really and retires, Kane is a mayor. Paul Bearer is no longer with us and everything is just… normal.

Wyatt’s Six (Reasons I Tune Out)

In 2022, Vince retires seemingly from everything and Triple H is at the helm, could he bring balance to everything? He makes a bunch of returns that people love seeing. Johnny Gargano, Dakota Kai, Tegan Nox, Bronson Reed, Dexter Lumus just to name a few and of course, the big one that everyone wanted. Bray Wyatt.

Bray makes this heartfelt return and everything seems great. We get him as him, he makes this weird build to a Wyatt 6, assuming we think it’s the Firefly Funhouse and he’s just talking, building. Alright well who is going to be these six figures because they are more than just puppets this time around. A masked man named Uncle Howdy that people think is Vincent Marseglia or maybe a bearded Bo Dallas who is Bray’s real life brother and he……… pops in and out to confuse people. Okay… (1)

Alexa might return to the 6 because of all the segments and gets darker and a heel. Alright that is perfectly fine but, WHY IS VINCENT DALLAS HERE AGAIN TO JUST INTERFERE WITH RANDOM THINGS? Okay… fine. (2) Alexa has a Women’s Championship match against Bianca Belair, that will make sense of thi– it’s a clean finish… Why is it clean? No Howdy, No Wyatt just a random VHS tape like I’m watching The Ring about her being dark after the match. Okay…… (3)

Oh Wyatt finally gets a feud for his return. I almost forgot about that! Who will be this first victim? LA Knight.

…Okay…… (4)

Maybe this will be good. They are both great on the microphone, maybe Bray has new moves that he can do and I know all too well how good LA Knight is, I have been an Eli Drake/Shaun Ricker fan for years. This could be a great match that they have, they announced it for the Royal Rumble so it’s going to be big and it’s a… Pitch Black Match presented by Mountain Dew.

O…okay…… (5)

The Royal Rumble is upon us, the Men’s Rumble starts the show and we all have adrenaline in our soul for it and now is this weird Pitch Black Match and it’s not a cinematic match. It’s in the ring, No Count Outs and No Disqualifications. LA Knight comes out in his iconic Yellow Attire and Wyatt is talking… with a mask on. The lights turn off and the ropes are glowing a neon greenish-yellow… with an announce table spot that… has Nickelodeon Slime inside of it when they break it? Okay fine… I knew the match was going to be dumb and gimmicky from the Mountain Dew Sponsorship. Bray wins, yay. LA Knight comes back with a Kendo Stick and… we get invulnerable Bray again… they don’t hurt. Lets go to this crash pad and Bo Marseglia shows up from somewhere and just elbow drops him from maybe fifteen to twenty feet with pyro and the Firefly Funhouse Puppets appear at the top, to watch a fire… And there is number six…

Actual Thoughts on Current Bray Wyatt, Post Rumble

I absolutely hate it.


This was awful. You build whatever insignificant thought process of the Wyatt 6 has going for it when Uncle Howdy does the best Cap’n Shane O elbow drop for a hellfire effect. At least the pyro was better than the AEW Explosion Match I guess…

Regardless, how does LA Knight come out of all of this moving forward? He lost an idiotic gimmick match and looks presumed dead. This just makes me think that whoever in whatever interview said Bray Wyatt is a creative mastermind needs to put whatever they have down before we hear about their T.O.D. posted somewhere. This Pitch Black Match is somehow worse than that Rollins Hell in a Cell Match and that takes talent. At least a good amount of alcohol lulled that from my brain but this made me remember that and enjoy the thought of that match happening with its finish. The best way I can picture how this was pitched was Burnt Dogshit, wrapped in a Kerosine Blanket with… sorry had to look at what I wrote, not putting that on websites but… people saw a Creative Quesadilla and when we got the actual product, it gave Salmonella poisoning and E Coli at the same time.

I really don’t want to see another Bray Wyatt match… again. Whoever gave him creative, take it away immediately. As much steam as Bray Wyatt gets in promos or possible matches in the past, the only steaming he gets at the end, is steaming piles of shit. You can say, he’s getting paid millions where I’m a little troll on the internet with typing power and I really don’t care but to me, Triple H… you finally got your first failing grade with something in your leadership role in WWE.


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