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Mitchell’s Talking Smack Report! (6/26/21)

It’s Talking Pat SmackAfee this week!

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WWE Talking Smack

Talking Smack is in the money!

After one hell of a week, WWE is moving on to the big money! And speaking of which, Talking Smack has Big E, Carmella, and The Architect, Seth Rollins!

 

Kayla Braxton welcomes us back to the show!

We’re just a few weeks away from Money in the Bank. Friday already set the stage, and in the biggest surprise, Kayla’s guest cohost is Pat McAfee! Pat says this is an absolute honor. He is on Talking Smack, the biggest weekly talk show on the Peacock, but he is borrowing the throne of the maestro of the microphone, Paul Heyman. He is thankful to be here, and what stories to tell for today! Kayla agrees, and notes that yes, that is Heyman’s usual seat. But after last night, Heyman is putting out some fires and dealing with business. Heyman will be back next week for sure, but this is a breath of fresh air.

Pat hears that often. And while there’s a drone overhead and maybe a fan blowing, but the electricity here is building. Not just because we’re about to end the ThunderDome Era, which has been wild and amazing. Oh hi, drone. So impressive. But there’s also the things they get to talk about here. This is a dream come true for him. Kayla notes that yes, this is going to be one of the final SmackDowns and Talking Smacks inside the ThunderDome, because we’re going back on the road! Let’s go! The fans are coming back! How nice is that? There are those who sit around on Saturday and watch Talking Smack religiously. Whatever they do on Fridays and Sundays, they watch this.

And soon, the fans can be part of this! Are you serious?! The ThunderDome has been good, though. It does not get enough respect. But Pat hasn’t been doing commentary in front of fans so this is going to be fun. Kayla just realizes that for herself, and Pat says he was “birthed in the ThunderDome.” It will be great for everyone, especially the superstars. Speaking of which, Kayla wants to talk the end of SmackDown, to which Pat had a front seat. The Rated R Superstar, Edge, returned and is after a certain Roman Reigns! What is Pat’s opinion? Well it was madness. As soon as he heard, “You think you know me,” he lost his mind.

Edge returns outta nowhere after Paul Heyman was talking about stuff. Heyman was talking about “Who’s left?” and here was Edge! Kayla loved it, too. Edge looks ready, even after what happened at WrestleMania 37. Edge sent a message, and that message is, “I ain’t done with you yet!” Roman did turn the tide once with a Superman Punch, but Edge has had sleepless nights about being stacked and pinned. That beard looks great, too. Something more that happened was “King Shinsuke Nakamura” being coronated, and then Pat’s own reaction to it was great. Pat says he and King- er, basic Baron Corbin, go back a long ways when Corbin was just a peasant.

And as soon as Rick Boogs and Nakamura teamed, it was too much magic and majesty. Pat couldn’t stay loyal to Corbin, he had to jump ship. No one would blame him. This is a once in a century situation. Pat definitely hailed this moment. How could you not? Nakamura looks great, long may #Kingsuke live. Nakamura has the crown and Boogs, we’re all blessed. But we’ve got big guests, from Big E to Carmella to Seth Freakin’ Rollins!

 

Carmella joins Talking Smack!

Mella has some last minute make-up done, but the lighting is not to her liking anyway. Pat introduces the two-time Ms. MITB, the first entrant to this year’s match on the SmackDown side, as decided and announced by Sonya Deville. But then Liv Morgan beat her. Mella ignores that to compliment Kayla’s hair. Is the make-up work to cover the slaps Liv gave her? Mella laughs that off and says, “Are you the Most Beautiful Woman in All the WWE? No, I don’t think so.” Well that’s subjective but… Mella says it is a fact. Pat asks if it was a vote or a survey. No, it’s just a fact. Michael Cole said it because he’s smart. Well, yeah, but… Pat has to be unbiased. For professionalism of the table, he has to.

Well Mella is going to celebrate. She’s in MITB. Pat cheers with her and Mella takes a Talking Smack selfie. How did that decision get made? Uh, hello, she’s Mella! She can show you and remind you! Look. At. Her! See? Does someone need a closer look? Is Kayla intimidated? It makes sense. Sonya said the same about Kayla’s hair. At least she did something with it. Back handed compliments, how nice. But anyway, how about Liv? Mella doesn’t care about Liv. But Liv won twice- Is she in the MITB match? NO! How many has she been in? NONE. How many has Mella been in? Four! And how many did she win? Two! 50%! Yes, but there was some payback in the ring-

Why does Kayla hate her? Is it cuz she’s beautiful? Well if we’re talking facts- Well it is a fact Mella is beautiful and people are jealous. But then let’s go with the other participants. From Raw, it will be Alexa Bliss, Nikki Cross, Naomi and Asuka. Is there any strategy…? Mella is just watching herself in her phone. Pat wonders if she’s even paying attention. Mella says it’s cuz they’re boring! Boring? Pat was just cheering and dancing with her! He thought this was a good time out here. Mella’s back in the MITB match! But what if Liv DOES get in? Why are they obsessed with Liv? Because Liv beat her tonight. You only Liv once. And the last two times, Liv’s winning.

Mella says Liv got lucky. And Mella beat Liv once. Look how good Mella looks in her new gear! Best dressed woman, too! Yeah but you still lose. Wins and losses don’t matter! Well it will at MITB. Well Mella’s won before, so she’ll do it again. Liv can win now, she won’t win later. Mella did Liv a favor by making her relevant. Bugt everyone loves Mella because Mella is money, honey. Okay, well, thank you for your time. No, you don’t get to say Mella’s time is up, she says it’s up. Talking Smack is boring so she’s leaving. Oh, well, alright. Pat sees the spin Mella is putting on this. What tension between Mella and Kayla. This is getting real!

 

Big E joins Talking Smack!

The Powerhouse of Positivity is in this year’s MITB Ladder Match! Big E sneaks in between the screens as Pat does the shoulder shimmies with him. Pat likes the theme song, Wale goes hard. Shout outs to our boy! Wait, what happened to the chair? Big E looks little next to Pat. Pat defends his own innocence, he had nothing to do with that. Big E knows he’s not tall but c’mon. Kayla is laughing a little too hard. Big E feels like someone is teasing him. He and Pat trade chairs just to save time. Pat welcomes Big E, and figures this is his first time hosting so he’ll defer to Big E. Big E thanks him for that.

Kayla says there is a lot to celebrate. A big win over the Intercontinental Champion thorn in his side, and now Big E is going to MITB. That feels real good. This is his first time, too. You never forget your first. Just in general, too. Sometimes it goes by quicker than you think. But Big E is sure this will be fun. Big E looks forward to what he can do in that match. They’ll be talking about this when he’s Old E lifting 700 pounds. First MITB, here we go! Yeah, yeah, that’s true. Big E isn’t sure about 700 pounds but… Pat says Big E is the most powerful man he’s ever met. Well thanks for that. Google 575 bench press. Roman wasn’t impressed, but Big E’s done things. Look this up for the kids, they need to know this stuff.

Big E knows beating Apollo was special. Them having matches is almost weekly. But Kayla is sure the history these past couple months must’ve made it feel extra special, extra sweet. Real sweet, yeah. Big E says the beautiful thing is about the briefcase is that it is like a restart. Big E has had some lulls post-Mania after losing “my lady,” the Intercontinental Championship. Big E would even buckle her in for the drive up north to his house. Pat asks if he ever did the arm to brace for a stop and Big E says yes, the whole thing. Like Seinfeld, you stop short. Any excuse to grab. But the briefcase is his goal.

Then as Mr. MITB, he can walk around, interrupt matches, tease the champion. Forever worried about Big E. If and when Big E has the briefcase. Be positive! Speak it into existence! WHEN Big E reaches up to the heavens and pulls down the briefcase from on high and puts it in his arms and the bell has rung… TELL ‘EM! AND NEW Mr. Money in the What? THE BANK! The what? BANK!! Money in the What? BANK! TELL ‘EM! And then, beautiful things will happen. Pat says that was magical. That’s how the positivity works. Big E is winning that thing. When is Pat getting back in the ring? Oh no no no. Oh yeah! Big E saw that. Pat blew people’s minds!

The doubters said, “He’s a goof ball! He can’t do nothing! He was a kicker in the NFL!” Punter! Oh, right! But he kicks balls far and strong. The doubters thought Pat was just running his mouth. But Pat showed those people! Yes, he did! He showed what kinda specimen he is! Minds were blown, Big E got hyped, and shouted, “That boy Pat’s got it!” He was inspired! Really? Yes! AMEN! Pat thanks Big E for all that, and Kayla wishes Big E luck. Go get that contract, baby! Big E and Pat dance their way off to break, but there’s still more to come.

 

Seth Rollins joins Talking Smack!

Rollins is in a good mood, because he is gracing the set with his leopard print suit and matching jacket. The Drip God, as it were, has arrived, and this isn’t Heyman next to him. Pat introduces himself, he compliments the jacket, and Rollins says Pat is doing an incredible job on SmackDown commentary. Pat says he isn’t as good as Rollins. Well some advice from an old headbanger, careful rocking out to Nakamura’s music. That will hurt your neck. Pat admits he was getting really hyped, he started seeing stars and almost collapsed. He was just rocking out.

Rollins gets that. Rollins has been rocking hard. Hell in a Cell, he dominated Cesaro! Then just last night, that Mixed Tag, dominant again! Rollins helped beat a SmackDown champion in Bianca Belair. That’s how much Rollins is rolling. Rollins makes it a chant and Pat does a dance with him. Kayla likes to see he’s in a great mood but she has a question everyone wants to know the answer to: SmackDown, the return of EDGE! Edge made it known he’s not done with Roman. But Rollins talked with Adam Pearce about facing Roman. With Edge back, is Rollins worried he’s not going to get his shot? Pat adds that Pearce kinda shrugged Rollins off, too.

Rollins says that Pearce didn’t do that, he promised to do this. Well, he and Sonya agreed they’d discuss things. No, Rollins is pretty sure they said they were “inclined to agree,” and so, if you’ve ever had a human conversation, that usually means they’re going to say yes. Therefore, it’s a promise. Plus, it’s Rollins. Kayla may not know anything about being important, but Seth Freakin’ Rollins is important so that was implied “yes.” Kayla gets word from the back real quick. She isn’t sure how someone found this, but it seems cameras were still rolling after the show went off the air. Talking Smack has the exclusive on this footage!

It was Edge going backstage, and then Pearce talking with Sonya in their office. Edge barged in, and told them he wants the match that should’ve happened at Mania. Roman VS Edge, 1v1 for the Universal Championship! And at MITB! This isn’t asking, this is demanding. Pearce and Sonya looked to each other, and then told Edge he’s got his match! Rollins claims he can’t hear that. What was that? Pat and Kayla both tell him that they heard it, it is confirmed! Roman VS Edge for MITB! What a mega match! Rollins is stunned as the graphic comes up. This can’t be. But it is. No, this has to be someone mishearing things. No, it was what they heard, everyone else is confirming it.

No, no, no! This was a promise to Rollins! They don’t understand! No! This is what Rollins has worked for! Rollins has never been more ready in his entire life! Physically, mentally, spiritually! Rollins is ready to be the next Universal Champion! He deserves this opportunity! Not Edge! Not Edge! Where has he even been since Mania? So what if he didn’t get his 1v1?! He got his match! This isn’t Rollins’ fault! The management put Daniel Bryan in that match! Is there nothing they can do? Well, Edge gets his 1v1 for the first time. “I DON’T CARE WHAT EDGE WANTS!! I’M SETH FREAKIN’ ROLLINS!! This! Place! Revolves around ME!”

Rollins has been here every day, busting his ass! He deserves his shot! He deserves the title shot! Rollins hurries to go talk to management, and Kayla says that Rollins is clearly not happy. But we know now that Roman VS Edge will happen at MITB! Kayla thanks Pat for being here and he is welcomed back any time. Pat says it was an honor to be here, even though he isn’t sure what to make of Rollins right there. Kayla thanks us for watching and hopes to see us again next week.


My Thoughts:

A really good episode this week, even without Heyman. It all makes sense in kayfabe, and Pat McAfee has such great charisma that he had really good chemistry with everyone. Mella had a good segment, properly being in character by focusing everything on herself. She said Liv wasn’t in but that probably changes next week, which will likely upset her. Big E had a very good segment, and it’s always great when he flips the switch. As I said for the SmackDown article, Big E is a strong choice for Mr. MITB, but even if he loses, he won’t be hurt. Big E’s got the pacing to be a challenger for the Universal Championship at just about any point, but especially if he’s Mr. MITB.

Rollins had the best segment, and on multiple levels. He himself really did have a great jacket and suit, and his way of seeing his own booking lately has been hilarious. But then it was a great turnaround for there to be the last bit after SmackDown with Edge going to Pearce and Sonya. Edge outright getting his match and Rollins being furious was a great detail in this story. I am positive Rollins throws a huge fit and something happens where we get Rollins VS Edge.


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Continental Classic Update! (11/27/23)

What a start to the tournament!

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Did your picks win points?

The AEW Continental Classic is underway, with almost everyone competing. Check in here if you haven’t seen the winners and losers of week 1!

Here are your Gold League standings!

  • Jon Moxley: 1-0, 3 points
  • Swerve Strickland: 1-0, 3 points
  • Jay White: 1-0, 3 points
  • Rush: 0-1, 0 points
  • Mark Briscoe: 0-1, 0 points.
  • Jay Lethal: 0-1, 0 points

 

Here are your Blue League standings!

  • Brody King: 1-0, 3 points
  • Claudio Castagnoli: 1-0, 3 points
  • Daniel Garcia: 0-1, 0 points
  • Eddie Kingston: 0-1, 0 points
  • Bryan Danielson: Yet to Compete
  • Andrade El Idolo: Yet to Compete

 

My Thoughts:

Nothing too crazy, nothing too wild, this tournament only just got started. The only disappointing point is that they could not get Bryan “cleared to compete” Saturday night. Not sure how much of that is shoot given the bad eye, but this was kinda the problem of wanting him in the tournament over tons of other choices. Bryan wants to face Okada for WrestleKingdom 18, how is Bryan supposed to do that at his best if he’s also gonna be in a round robin, doing five top level matches in about as many weeks? And it takes away from Andrade being able to do something. Also a little surprised we didn’t even hear from Andrade on Saturday.

Now as we heard on Saturday, round two’s matches are set. Gold League will see Mark Briscoe VS Rush, White VS Swerve, and of course, Moxley VS Lethal. Nice variety there, a couple 0-1 guys facing off, as well as two 1-0 guys, and then 1-0 VS 0-1. No offense to Lethal, but he feels like an 0-2 going up against Moxley. Hard to call the other ones but that’s the fun of it. Meanwhile, Blue League sees Brody VS Claudio in a showdown to be 2-0, then Bryan and Andrade finally jump in, Bryan against Eddie and Andrade against Garcia. Sadly, feels like Eddie and Garcia are going 0-2, no way Tony Khan is booking Bryan and Andrade to lose their first shots.

In fact, that could be half the reason they did wait on those two, that’s almost too good for just a first round opener. But I still would’ve done it, same as NJPW does stuff like that for round robins, which this is all modeled after anyway.


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AEW Coverage

AEW announces Continental Classic entrants

The C2 is set!

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Tony Khan Reveals the Blue and Gold “Leagues!”

Originally livestreamed, Tony Khan and Tony Schiavone officially announced the twelve total entrants and divided them into the two round robin blocks known as the “Blue League” and “Gold League.” If you don’t feel like sifting through the almost 30 minute video, the groups are:

Blue League

  • Bryan Danielson
  • Andrade El Idolo
  • Brody King
  • Claudio Castagnoli
  • Daniel Garcia
  • Eddie Kingston

Gold League

  • Jon Moxley
  • Swerve Strickland
  • Rush
  • Mark Briscoe
  • Jay Lethal
  • Jay White

 

Tony Khan also explains the rules for the Continental Classic:

  • Every match has a 20 minute time limit
  • The winner of each match earns 3 points, losers earn 0, 1 point for a draw
  • EVERYONE ELSE is banned from ringside for true 1v1 action

 

Eddie Kingston also joined the selection special as his “life’s work” is on the line in this tournament, both the ROH World Championship and NJPW Strong Openweight Championship on the line as part of the modern day North American Triple Crown Eddie, Tony Khan, AEW, ROH and NJPW are looking to create together. Gold League competes tonight on Dynamite while Blue League will have their start this Saturday on Collision. Look for more articles like this one to keep up with the Continental Classic standings over the next six weeks of tournament action!


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