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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (6/7/21)

Who’s going to Hell (in a Cell)?

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Coverage Raw 2021

The Raw Tag Team Champions will have new challengers!

Who will AJ Styles & Omos meet at Hell in a Cell? We find out in a five team battle royal! Plus, Shayna Baszler dares Alexa Bliss to leave the playground and get back in the ring!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Raw Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Battle Royal: The Viking Raiders wins and will challenge AJ Styles & Omos for the titles at Hell in a Cell.
  • Elias VS Jaxson Ryker; Ryker wins, by count-out.
  • WWE United States Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Ricochet VS Humberto Carrillo; Double Count-Out Draw.
  • Jeff Hardy VS Cedric Alexander; Hardy wins.
  • Charlotte Flair & Rhea Ripley VS Nikki Cross & Asuka; Cross & Asuka win.
  • Mansoor VS Drew Gulak; Mansoor wins.
  • Kofi Kingston w/ Xavier Woods VS Matt Riddle w/ Randy Orton; Kingston wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Raw Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Battle Royal!

RKBRO makes their entrance but The New Day, The Viking Raiders, Lucha House Party and the destructive duo of T-Bar & Mace are already waiting in the ring! Only one team will be left standing, but who will be going to Hell in a Cell to take on the Phenomenal AJ Styles & towering Omos?

But speaking of, AJ Styles & Omos make their way out to watch this with their own eyes! Styles has a mic to say, “Gentlemen, before we start this battle royal, I just want to say thank you for showing up to this special State of the Tag Team Division Address.” Styles says that the WWE will be back on the road next month, and he and Omos feel obligated to the fans to defend their tag titles live and in person against the very best! And wow, what’s in the ring is unbelievable! These are the teams they want! For instance, the 11-time tag team champions, the NEW~ DAY~! Xavier Woods says don’t do the hip swivels.

But the New Day are legends! National treasures! Think about their showdowns! Just like at WrestleMania. That’s where Omos and Styles won, not that they’re keeping count or anything. Then Mace & T-Bar. TO be honest, we don’t know a lot about you guys. Nobody does. But they’re big, mean and like to fight. Styles won’t mention how Omos is bigger and meaner, that’s neither here nor there. Then Lince Dorado is here alone? Gran Metalik got hurt, that’s a shame, but Styles appreciates Lince’s heart. Not smart, but brave! And Lince does things people have only seen in video games, but Styles has done time and time again in his career. Lince was probably a big fan, right?

Then there’s the Viking Raiders! Raid and get paid! Big money is what it’s about. The champs could definitely throw down with them all over the world. But then there’s R, K, Bro…! Randy Orton is a 14-time world champion, a tag team champion, and a Legend Killer. Then there’s the rising star, sky’s the limit for Matt Riddle. And we’ve all seen it from these two. This is ridiculous and doesn’t make sense but the chemistry they have together is unbelievable. And this division is of course led by the unbelievable, unstoppable and incredible… What would Omos say they are? MAGNIFICENT! STUPENDOUS! And handsome to boot. Last but not least, phenomenal! YES!

Kofi Kingston says more like deplorable, detestable, or as we said from 2016 to 2018, BOOTY! Phenomenal & Abominable are not a registered team! Where are the forms?! The paper work!? that’s all lies! No one needs papers! They just need the titles! No interrupting Styles when he’s being nice. Nice? Styles wants to be nice? Then how about you shut your damn mouth! Riddle adds that he has a lot of experience here. Take the key, zip it, lock it, throw away the key. It’s done wonders for these two, and they’re the newest team on the scene with these new merchandise shirts. Riddle is wearing two because Orton doesn’t really wear shirts.

Riddle mentions that his uncle, Ron, helped with the design because he had a pet snake, Mr. Slithers. Mr. Slithers would go everywhere with Ron until he got out his one time- Oh, right. Zip, lock, throw away the key. But wait, here comes The Miz and John Morrison! Morrison wheels out Miz in his wheelchair, and Miz apologizes for the interruption. Morrison says Miz has nothing to apologize for. He is the most courageous superstar here to come out here in this condition! That is coooorrect. Miz can’t deny that he was “tragically” injured, but he says the Raw Tag Division is a bit dry. Which is why Morrison has the #DripStick on hand! Time to moisten things up!

COOOOORRECT! Morrison, #JohnnyDripDrip is competing on behalf of both members of the Greatest Tag Team of the 21st Century *stare off into distance* and looks to mop up the competition! Hit his music! But wait! Miz’s wheelchair is going out of control down the ramp! Morrison saves Miz from further disaster, and gets Miz to safety. Morrison waits just outside the ring as all the teams stare him down. Orton hits Woods with an RKO!! And then Riddle RKO’s Kofi! Lince chest bumps Ivar, and wants to high-five T-Bar, but no dice. RKO for Dorado!! Two teams, er well, one and a half, are down, the others are circling, and this will truly get underway after the break!

Raw returns and all the teams have regrouped. The bell rings while Styles & Omos join commentary, and Miz honks his wheelchair car horn. Lince works with the New Day Power Rangers as they brawl with RKBRO! T-Bar & Mace go after the Viking Raiders, and Morrison hangs back to wait for an opening. Erik knees Mace, Ivar CLUBS T-Bar, but both hit back. Woods ROCKS Orton, Morrison goes after Lince and throws him out! Lince holds on, slides under Morrison and he pushes Morrison! Morrison KICKS back, gets in and tries a powerbomb, only for Lince to RANA! Morrison holds on, Lince stomps him, then WRECKING BALL DROPKICKS!

Morrison uses his feet to hook the ropes and survive! Miz passes him the Drip Stick and Morrison sprays Lince in the face! Morrison slides back in, and ROUNDHOUSES Lince up and out to ELIMINATE him! But then Morrison turns around to have Mace & T-Bar stare him down! Morrison tries to get them on his side, and then asks for the drip stick! Miz tosses it in, Morrison sprays ‘n’ prays, but he gets a double choke grip for his troubles! T-Bar & Mace ELIMINATE Morrison! The Viking Raiders come back for more, T-Bar DECKS Ivar, then Mace feeds Erik to T-Bar’s forearm! Mace adds a LEG LARIAT and down goes Erik!

Riddle goes after T-Bar’s arm but no Kimura for the Bro! T-Bar KNEES then TOSSES Riddle aside! Orton shoves Mace away, but he runs into DOUBL EBOOTS! Woods and Kofi go after them but Mace & T-Bar get DOUBLE CHOKE SLAMS! “This is OURS to win!” T-Bar and Mace both have Orton! They aim for ropes, but Riddle makes the save! So T-Bar & Mace give Riddle HIGH JUSTICE!! That’s a devastating move but it won’t win the battle royal! The Raiders regroup and stare down. The behemoths fire up, but RKBRO and New Day help out! They go after Mace & T-Bar equally, and they throw T-Bar to ELIMINATE him! Then the other half ELMINATES Mace, we have our last three teams as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Orton fires hands on Kofi while Erik brawls with Riddle and Ivar is after Woods. Woods CHOPS Ivar back, Erik RAMS Riddle into a corner, and Orton bumps Kofi off buckles. Riddle turns things around on Erik, Kofi hits Orton back, and Woods goes after Riddle. Woods back suplexes but Riddle lands on his feet to boot. Woods slides under to hit a ROLLING ELBOW! The Raiders double kick Woods and double whip, but he slides under, only to get double shoulders! Erik growls and gets Riddle up. Erik feeds Riddle to Ivar but Riddle hits first! Riddle forearms back and forth between the Raiders, then KICKS and KICKS!

Erik stops the kicks but Riddle dodges, no RKO! Pop-up and LARIAT GERMAN SUPLEX! Riddle staggers up into Woods’ KNEE! Woods ELIMINATES Riddle!! RKBRO is down to one! The New Day rally on Ivar, kick after kick and forearm after forearm! They hammer away then run, but into Erik’s CLOTHESLINE! Erik ELIMINATES Woods! New Day is down to one and Kofi whips Erik! Erik goes up and over?! Ivar SPLASHES, then feeds Kofi to Erik’s SHOTGUN KNEES! Erik uses Ivar as his weapon, HIP ATTACK SENTON in the corner! Orton throws Ivar into a POST! Orton CLOBBERS Erik and fires up! Orton rallies, dodges and POWERSLAMS Erik!

Ivar gets up and brawls with Orton! Ivar scoops, Orton slips off and shoves. Ivar cartwheels to knee and whip Orton into Erik’s KNEE! The Raiders get Orton up and SLAM him into a drop zone! Erik scoops Ivar but Kofi dropkicks the Raiders over! Ivar SPLASHES Erik and Kofi claps it up! “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” Kofi aims at Orton but Riddle returns to take the TROUBLE IN PARADISE! Orton ELIMINATES Kofi, no more New Day!! But then the Raiders TOSS and ELIMINATE Orton!! The Raiders win!!

Winners: The Viking Raiders (NEW #1 Contenders to the Raw Tag Team Champions)

Styles & Omos like what’s coming down the line! They’re here to entertain, and Styles promises the title match will still go their way. Are the champions getting ahead of themselves against such a battle tested team?

 

Bobby Lashley and MVP are still partying.

They’re popping bottles while the ladies relax with them, but there is business to attend to later tonight. Lashley and Drew McIntyre sign on the dotted line for their WWE World Championship match at Hell in a Cell!

 

Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce talk backstage.

As the return to touring continues, they’re both very excited to see all the familiar places again. But Charlotte Flair walks in and “apologizes” to interrupt. She knows they saw her be “pressured” into that match with Nikki Cross, so could the loss be stricken from the record? As much as they would “love” to do that, Charlotte still accepted the challenge and then lost that challenge. So no, there’s nothing they can do. That much these two agree on. Charlotte was asking nicely but she sees they’re both jealous. They’ve never had the career she’s had, because there’s only ONE Charlotte. So maybe agree on her getting a rematch with Nikki.

Rhea Ripley chuckles as she enters now. As much as she’d actually love to see Charlotte get flustered, at least Rhea respects Nikki. She won’t stand here and pretend she took her eyes off the clock and didn’t take Nikki seriously. So if anyone deserves a rematch with Nikki, it’s Rhea. Pearce says there might be a compromise that could see each of them respecting each other. Sonya suggests these two team up against Nikki and… Wait, both of them against Nikki? No, Nikki and a partner of her choosing. Sound good to them? Well unlike Rhea, Charlotte can be professional. So is that a yes? And who is there for Nikki to team with to take on both Nightmare and Queen?

 

The Viking Raiders are fired up!

The tag titles are in their future! And that means RAID! RAID! RAID! Ivar is so hungry right now. Let’s go feast on turkey legs! Ivar’s paying! Omos and Styles come by, and ask if they meant these turkey legs. Omos has one in hand. Hopefully the Raiders weren’t hoping to have some to celebrate. Styles doesn’t know a lot about Vikings. They can teach him. Well look, guys, to Styles & Omos, you’re just wannabe Vikings. You use electricity, mirrors, but apparently not deodorant. Erik says the way he lives honors the Vikings that came before. If Styles has a problem with that, then Erik has a problem with him,

This is why Vikings aren’t around anymore, Omos. And where did he get that turkey leg? Styles is kinda hungry, too. Will Styles poke the bears a little too much and get his head bitten off?

 

Ladies and gentlemen: Elias.

The Drifter is in the ring alone as he gives his introduction. There will be no other introductions tonight, because you could be walking with the NEW Raw Tag Team Champions, but you’re not. And whose fault is that? Jaxson Ryker’s! If Ryker would’ve just done what Elias said, we’d be celebrating this week! But instead, Ryker has become “completely unhinged.” For the sake of Elias’ career and sanity, he had to get away. Elias shows footage of last week when Elias abandoned Ryker as Omos tags in. Elias says he had no choice but to do that!

The first time Elias met Ryker, he didn’t just see this unbridled potential and massive arms. He looked into Ryker’s cold eyes and saw the ghosts of war. Elias saw a man who has been in battle and who would go to battle, just not for Elias. Elias walked out on Ryker, but that doesn’t change the fact that there is an “unwavering” truth that WWE stands for Walk With Elias! Now before Elias walks all over “that maniac,” RYKER ATTACKS FROM BEHIND! Ryker, hair cut short but beard still thick, CHUCKS Elias’ guitar out of the ring, then rains down fists on Elias’ head! And stomps him against ropes! Ryker rips Elias’ shirt off but referees separate them! This fight becomes a match, after the break!

Elias VS Jaxson Ryker!

Raw returns and Elias manages to get to his feet. He still wants this match, but the bell rings and Ryker CLOBBERS him! Ryker rams Elias into a corner, fires off forearms, then whips him corner to corner for a SPLASH! Elias flops out of  the ring but Ryker pursues. Ryker follows Elias around the way and back into the ring, to CLOBBER him again! Ryker CLUBS Elias, whips him to ropes, but Elias reverses. Ryker KICKS back, then runs to CLOTHESLINE Elias out of the ring! Elias staggers to the desk, Ryker goes out and stalks up behind Elias, to throw haymakers! The ring count is climbing as Ryker throws more hands. Elias hits low and bumps Ryker off steps!

Elias gets in the ring, Ryker follows, but Elias fires off on him! Elias stomps Ryker down, gets him up and whips him to ropes to CLOBBER him in return! Elias catches his breath, stalks Ryker to ropes, but Ryker hits low! Ryker runs but Elias hits a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Elias grits his teeth and drags Ryker up to DECK him! And again! Elias taunts Ryker, gets him up and DECKS him again! Ryker hits back! And CLUBS Elias, only to run into a MANHATTAN DROP! Elias fireman’s carries, but Ryker pulls beard! Ryker whips and gives Elias a SPINESBUSTER of his own! Ryker is fired up but Elias bails out! Elias is running away!

Ryker shouts for Elias to return but he doesn’t, Ryker wins!

Winner: Jaxson Ryker, by count-out

Ryker wanted to finish this in the ring but the Drifter wasn’t for that! Will Ryker have his retribution soon enough?

 

Drew McIntyre heads to the ring!

It’s time to put pen to paper! The Scottish Warrior has his claymore sword, but will he need his Claymore kick tonight? We’ll wait and see, after the break.

Raw returns and now the table has been set. Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville preside over this contract signing, and Sonya introduces the WWE World Champion, Bobby Lashley! The music plays, but the All Mighty and MVP do not make their entrance. McIntyre says we’re not waiting on them. He’ll predict how this goes: Lashley will have his suit, the ladies, and so on, so that everyone will have to hop aboard The Lashley Train. Then Lashley will talk about McIntyre has had opportunity after opportunity. That’s a good point but Lashley is also missing the point. McIntyre has a story he loved growing up and fans might enjoy this one.

There was a Scottish king called Robert the Bruce. When he was king, Scotland was still enslaved. They lost big battles, the king went into hiding and would’ve been killed on sight. Robert the Bruce stayed in a cave for the better part of three years, and one day he just looked up at the ceiling. He saw a spider. The spider was making a web but it was damp in the cave so the web wouldn’t stick. The spider kept failing, falling, and getting back up. It did this over and over. The king sympathized with the spider, but he also wanted to tell the spider to give up because it won’t work out. But then it did. Finally, the web stuck, the spider had a home, and The Bruce was encouraged.

The king assembled an army, but was outnumbered 10 to 1. But The Bruce won Scotland’s freedom! And a famous quote he said to the army was, “If at first you don’t succeed,” well to modernize it, “Beat Lashley’s ass at Hell in a Cell and win back your championship!” McIntyre still makes this official by signing his part! MVP then responds via titantron, telling McIntyre to “downshift” a bit. Before Lashley puts pen to paper, there is business to discuss. So on behalf of Lashley, MVP apologizes for Lashley being “fashionably late.” Now they’re here, with the ladies following behind. McIntyre patiently waits as Lashley struts his way to the ring and helps the ladies into the ring first.

Lashley finally takes his seat at the table but MVP speaks directly to McIntyre. “Allow me to congratulate you on manipulating your way into once again facing the All Mighty WWE Champion at Hell in a Cell.” It is okay for MVP and Lashley to be out here, right? They won’t be given a 90 day suspension with no pay? Because Lashley and MVP held up their end of the deal. From bell to bell, they were in the lounge, enjoying some company. So here’s a question: How will they reward Lashley for his compliance/ What was it Lashley wanted? Once McIntyre loses at HIAC, he will NOT get another chance at the title while Lashley holds it, ever again!

MVP adds that Lashley plans on holding the WWE World Championship a long, long time. Lashley can’t wait to bring this title back on the road, out to the ALL MIGHTY Universe! McIntyre accepts the stipulation, mostly to shut MVP up. Well MVP appreciates the decisiveness. McIntyre says he will never fight Lashley for the title again if he loses. But he’ll need something in return. The match needs to keep outside interference away. The match needs to be so no one else will lose on his behalf. The match needs to be INSIDE HELL IN A CELL!! MVP advises Lashley quickly, and Lashley accepts those terms. Pearce and Sonya add these amendments, and it’s official!

MVP hopes that’ll be notarized. Lashley smiles and says that story about the spider and all that was admirable. Nice to see McIntyre to get back to his roots. But you forget to tell the whole story. If at first you don’t succeed, you just don’t win against the All Mighty, accept defeat, tuck your kilt between your legs, and walk away in shame. THAT is the ending of their story! McIntyre has some last words, some advice that he won’t listen to anyway. But McIntyre’s been in the Cell, Lashley hasn’t. He was told that he was never going to be the same after that match, and he hasn’t been. McIntyre flew 15 feet off the side, through a table, and felt physicality like he’s never felt.

So McIntyre wants Lashley to know he is willing to go through it all again, and inflict just as much pain and punishment on Lashley like he’s never felt before. McIntyre will tear flesh from skin with the steel, use whatever is under the ring. Whatever Lashley believes in, he should start praying, even though they won’t be answered. But just know that McIntyre will grant Lashley some mercy as he plants a Claymore right between his eyes and take back the title! “Enjoy the next couple of weeks, and I’ll see you in Hell!” Lashley vows to beat McIntyre there, too!

The Chief Hurt Officer is relaxed, but then McIntyre uses the sword to SLASH the table in half!! McIntyre is deadly serious, will he change Lashley’s life forever?

 

Backstage interview with Nikki Cross.

What has gotten into her? She’s gotten everyone’s attention with her back-to-back wins. Nikki says this has been something inside of her this whole time. It doesn’t matter if you’re not the prettiest, the strongest or the most experienced. It is her tenacity and spirit that makes her a winner. Believing in herself has helped Nikki realize is she’ll only regret not taking chances. She just has to try! Then who has she found as her tag partner? She has someone who she has admired for so long, with the coolest outfit that’s like a superhero cape and mask. Who doesn’t wish to be a superhero?

So Nikki couldn’t wait to ask, and she is so thrilled that… ASUKA said yes! Nobody is ready for Nikki & Asuka!! Will the Empress of Tomorrow help Nikki get another win over the Queen and the champion?

 

Sheamus heads to the ring!

The Fella has a face mask to keep his busted nose in place! The man that busted it is Humberto Carrillo, and Carrillo is battling Ricochet for a shot at Sheamus’ title! Who will become the sole focus of the Celtic Warrior’s wrath?

WWE United States Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Ricochet VS Humberto Carrillo!

Raw returns as the One and Only makes his entrance, followed by Dale Gas. Ricochet can’t help but grin and laugh at the damage done to Sheamus. Carrillo just shrugs, but Sheamus gets a mic. Is no one going to talk about the injustice here? How are these two “gobshites” getting the title opportunity after breaking his face?! How, Corey Graves? Graves doesn’t make those decisions. Sheamus says if he wasn’t under strict doctor’s orders, he’d- Carrillo scares Sheamus with a springboard! Ricochet does the same! Sheamus is pissed that they’re poking fun at him, but then Ricochet basically sucker punches Carrillo!

Ricochet builds speed to WRECK Carrillo with a dropkick while Sheamus gets way far away! The Fella shouts at Ricochet and Ricochet dares him to do something! This match is still happening, but things will cool off and sort out as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Ricochet fires off hands in a corner. The ref counts, Ricochet lets off and eggs Carrillo on, Carrillo hits back, Ricochet CLUBS him and whip shim. Ricochet runs in and clotheslines then brings Carrillo out to scoop and SLAM, right to a JUMPING LEG DROP! Ricochet covers, TWO! Sheamus vents on commentary as they ruined the best looking face in the world! Ricochet tries to suplex, Carrillo blocks so Ricochet throws hands! Ricochet CLUBS Carrillo, tells Sheamus to watch as he suplexes, but Carrillo slips out. Carrillo waistlocks, Ricochet standing switches, but Carrillo bucks him away to springboard CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO!

Carrillo keeps cool and is after Ricochet with CHOPS! Carrillo CLUBS Ricochet, whips corner to corner, but Ricochet reverses. Carrillo goes up and over, rolls Ricochet up, TWO into a dead lift POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Ricochet survives and Carrillo grows frustrated. Carrillo whips Ricochet to a corner, runs in to clothesline, then fires off forearms and stomps! The ref backs Carrillo off, checks on Ricochet, and Ricochet is still okay to continue. Carrillo runs in but Ricochet dumps him out to the apron. Carrillo counter punches Ricochet, gets him up, and suplexes! Ricochet lands safe on the apron, throws body shots, and suplexes Carrillo!

Carrillo lands safe in the ring, Ricochet ducks one kick but not the ENZIGURI! Carrillo builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit at the ramp and down goes Ricochet! Carrillo gets Ricochet up as Sheamus calls them both “juvenile delinquents” for what they’ve done. Carrillo climbs up, leaps, missile dropkick hits! Cover, TWO! Carrillo grows frustrated but he gets Ricochet back up to scoop and SLAM! Carrillo hurries back to a corner and back up top. MOONSAULT, but Ricochet moves! Carrillo rolls through, Ricochet dodges him and CLOBBERS him with that clothesline! Ricochet dead lift GERMAN SUPLEXES! Bridging cover, TWO!!

Ricochet grows frustrated but Sheamus says Ricochet couldn’t do that to him. Ricochet gets Carrillo back up, fireman’s carries, but Carrillo fights. Ricochet still tries but Carrillo gets to the apron. Ricochet shoulders into a KICK! Carrillo drags Ricochet to the apron but Ricochet CHOPS! Carrillo CHOPS! Ricochet throws a haymaker! Carrillo forearms back! Ricochet mule kicks, gets space and runs at Carrillo, but into a SPANISH FLY to the floor!! Sheamus chuckles as both men are down and a ring count climbs. We’re at 5 of 10 a Ricochet flounders up. Ricochet gets to his feet at 7, and hobbles, but falls over! THE COUNT HITS TEN!

Double Count-Out Draw

Sheamus laughs at how “shameful” that all was. “Look at the state of these two bleeding Muppets!” Sheamus leaves, no one having won a shot at his title. Will the Celtic Warrior get to rest easy and let his nose recover before having to worry about a contender stepping up?

 

The New Day talk backstage.

Woods says there’s a 95% that if there’s a wall, a certain someone will run into it, knock himself out, and give them an easy night. Kofi likes how Woods thinks, and they go to their locker room. But MVP walks over to ask Kofi if they can talk. Kofi says sure. Did Lashley let him off the leash? Haha, always quick with the jokes. But MVP wants to say he was genuinely impressed with Kofi last week. And earlier tonight, too. But MVP isn’t surprised Kofi lost, either. What is MVP’s point? Kofi has stuff to do. MVP says that he might now represent Bobby Lashley, the All Mighty Chief Hurt Officer, but prior to that, he was a Kofi fan.

Just like everyone, MVP watched #KofiMania take over the world. Kofi did the unobtainable: he won the WWE World Championship at WrestleMania! These two go back a long ways, all the way to Deep South Wrestling. Kofi is like a little brother to MVP. So watching Kofi celebrate with his family, that gives MVP goosebumps. Kofi celebrating with his sons is the moment that made MVP want to return to the WWE. Because finally, the WWE had a champion that MVP could relate to and be proud of! So just hear him out. KofiMania was everything, but then it was over. Kofi doesn’t want to talk about that stuff, MVP gets that.

But did Kofi ever wonder why that happened? Kofi asks “P” to enlighten him. It’s because Kofi isn’t Lashley. MVP thought he saw a glimpse of the Kofi who could again be WWE World Champion. But then at the end of Kofi VS McIntyre, MVP saw Kofi shake McIntyre’s hand. That made Kofi look okay with being a loser. Is that how he wants this? KofiMania ended because Kofi let it end. There’s no friends in this! This is show business. But MVP knows Kofi wants to laugh and joke, shuck and jive with his friends- Watch your mouth, MVP! Kofi doesn’t want MVP’s advice.

Kofi doesn’t know how many times he has to keep saying this, but family and friends are the ones who give him motivation. That’s why Kofi does this. Somewhere in this world are little kids watching this show and watching Kofi and believing in himself because of him! That is why he does this. What does Lashley do it for? Money? No, Lashley fights for the WWE World Championship, and all the honor, prestige and accoutrements it comes with. MVP leaves it at that, but will what he said still get in Kofi’s head?

 

Eva Marie speaks.

“Over the last few weeks, you’ve heard my story. But that was only the beginning. It’s not easy running towards the peak of success, as glamorous as it appears.” Eva has had to put in tremendous amounts of determination and passion to be where she is today. And now, she’ll show us that she practices what she preaches. “The ability to inspire others comes from having the courage to show up and be seen.” Eva will show us a side of her no one has ever seen before. Eva will pull back the curtain and show us exactly what it takes to make it look this easy. We’ve waited long enough, #EvaLution will be here next week!

 

Mustafa Ali finds Mansoor backstage.

Apparently, Mansoor has a match with Drew Gulak tonight. Is he ready? Yeah, he is. No, Mansoor think he’s ready, but he’s not. Mansoor says he IS ready. Mustafa wants Mansoor to calm down, and he explains it to him like this. “What you ARE ready for is a fair and square fight against Drew Gulak. What you’re not ready for is when Drew Gulak decides when he’s not ready to fight fair.” What will Mansoor do against a poke in the eye? Or a hook of the tights? What will he do when he realizes he’s against someone willing to cut every corner just to win?

Mustafa knows Gulak and how dangerous he is. You can’t assume everyone plays by the rules. That’s not how this world works. Is Mansoor going to listen to what Mustafa is telling him?

 

Jeff Hardy VS Cedric Alexander!

The Charismatic Enigma doesn’t appreciate the disrespect that #PRIME shows to anyone and everyone in the locker room. Will Alexander learn lessons in humility and honor from the extremely talented veteran?

Raw returns and Alexander makes his entrance. The bell rings and Hardy circles with Alexander while he rallies fans up. They tie up, Alexander knees low and CLUBS Hardy on the back. Hardy blocks buckle bumps to give buckle bumps! Hardy gets three corners, but Alexander tries to turn things around, only for Hardy to send him hard into the fourth! Hardy dropkicks Alexander down, goes up top and leaps to ax handle Alexander’s back! Alexander drops to his knees, Hardy kicks but Alexander blocks and spins Hardy to dropkick back! Cover, TWO! Alexander digs his forearms into Hardy’s neck and pulls on arms. The ref counts, Alexander lets off but stomps Hardy down.

Alexander chokes Hardy on ropes in the corner and talks trash right in his ear! “SHOW ME SOMETHING!” The ref counts, Alexander lets off and gets Hardy back up. Hardy throws body shots but Alexander CLUBS and CHOPS him back! Alexander snapmares then basement dropkicks Hardy down! Cover, TWO! Alexander wraps on a chinlock and squeezes tight. Hardy endures, fights up, and throws body shots. Alexander throws Hardy down by his hair! The ref reprimands but Alexander asks what’s wrong. Alexander stands on Hardy’s face, then has him on ropes to choke him again! “I can do this all day, Jeff! I can do this all day!” The ref counts, Alexander lets off, and Hardy hits back!

Hardy kicks, Alexander blocks but Hardy hits the spinning back kick! Alexander bails out, Hardy builds speed but Alexander gets in to CLOBBER him first! Cover, TWO! Hardy still lives but Alexander is having fun now. Alexander gets Hardy up, kicks him over and over, and taunting him all the way. Hardy hits back, Alexander CLUBS him down then wraps on a chinlock. Alexander smothers Hardy into the mat but Hardy endures. Hardy fights up, throws body shots, and runs, but Alexander pulls hair! Hardy throws haymakers, but Alexander kicks back! Alexander seethes, whips Hardy to a corner, but Hardy goes up and up. Hardy mule kicks, then gets Alexander with a headscissor!

Alexander flounder sup, Hardy rallies, then ATOMIC DROPS, to the RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Hardy has the legs for the leg drop clutch! TWO!! Alexander narrowly escapes but Hardy keeps his cool. Hardy waits on Alexander, kicks low, but no Twist! Alexander gets around, fakes Hardy out and dropkicks a leg! Alexander gets Hardy up, BRAINBUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Alexander grows frustrated with Hardy’s resilience, but that’s how Hardy’s stayed in this business! Alexander talks trash, goes up the corner, and mocks the Hardy fingers, but leaps into a kick! TWIST OF FATE!! Hardy hurries up top, aims, and SWANTON BOMBS!! Cover, Hardy wins!!

Winner: Jeff Hardy, by pinfall

The living legend landed his best and is making Alexander eat his words! Will #PRIME learn to brag less and battle more?

 

Charlotte finds Rhea backstage.

Since Charlotte is the more professional and experienced one here, she suggests Rhea follow her lead. And the only advantage Nikki has IS Asuka, Rhea can handle Nikki since she “respects” her so much. The Queen can handle Asuka. Rhea will gladly follow Charlotte, in two weeks, straight to Hell! But this title makes up for the “experience,” so Charlotte will follow her lead. So clearly these two are NOT on the same page. Will the end of this story be the same as the last two weeks?

Charlotte Flair & Rhea Ripley VS Nikki Cross & Asuka!

The fired up #SUPERBEST Nikki Cross makes her entrance first, ready to prove she can beat the Queen and Nightmare at the same time! But will the fact that there’s no time limit flip the script? Or will no one be ready for the combination of the Loony Lass and the Empress?

Raw returns and Asuka makes her entrance, followed by Rhea and Charlotte. The teams sort out, Charlotte insists to take the lead, and Rhea lets her. Nikki starts against Charlotte, they tie up, and Charlotte shoves Nikki down. Charlotte says the champ should show us how to do this, and she tags Rhea in. Rhea and Nikki circle now, and Nikki says she can do this! They tie up, but Rhea SLAMS Nikki down! Rhea gloats to Charlotte, Nikki rolls her up! ONE, and Nikki dodges Rhea to tag Asuka! Asuka and Rhea circle, they tie up, and Rhea headlocks. Asuka throws body shots, powers out, and things speed up. Rhea stomps but Asuka dodges.

Asuka does a dance, Rhea rushes in but Asuka dodges and follows to ram shoulders! Asuka shoves, Rhea shoves back. Asuka kicks but Rhea blocks to HEADBUTT! Rhea back suplexes but Asuka fights free to get the IRON OCTOPUS! Rhea endures, powers out but Asuka sunset flips! Rhea STOMPS Asuka down, then drags her up to whip her. Rhea dodges, Charlotte tags in, and Charlotte runs Asuka over. Charlotte tells Rhea to get out of the way, and then she CHOPS Asuka. Asuka dodges, Nikki tags in, and Asuka BOOTS Charlotte for Nikki to tilt-o-whirl toss! Asuka adds a dropkick, Nikki covers, ONE!

Nikki hurries to get Charlotte but Charlotte scoops. Nikki escapes, tags to Asuka, and Asuka wrenches and YANKS on Charlotte’s arm! Asuka has a wristlock, Charlotte handsprings through to wrench back. Charlotte pulls hair, headlocks, but Rhea tags in! Asuka breaks free and mule kicks Charlotte into Rhea! Asuka runs in, Charlotte moves, Rhea takes the HIP ATTACK! Down goes the champion, and Asuka is fired up! Charlotte goes out and walks over to her tag partner to help her up. Rhea shoves Charlotte away and says she should just leave her alone. Charlotte throws a forearm on Rhea!

The ref asks what they’re doing, and Charlotte orders Rhea to get in the ring! Rhea just glares at Charlotte while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Nikki gets Rhea with a headlock. Rhea powers up, Nikki thrashes, and again. Charlotte is frustrated with Rhea, Rhea powers up but Nikki hits a tornado style takedown! Rhea powers out this time, but Nikki goes up and over. Nikki runs in, Rhea puts her on the apron, but Nikki ROCKS Rhea with a right! Charlotte storms over but Nikki slingshots into the Oklahoma Roll! TWO, and Rhea HEADBUTTS Nikki down! Rhea drags Nikki up, Charlotte is annoyed but Rhea stomps a mudhole into Nikki in the open corner. The ref counts, Rhea lets off, and she gets Nikki up to an Electric Chair. Nikki flails, Charlotte tags in, and Rhea SLAMS Nikki down!

Asuka rallies for Nikki, Charlotte tells Rhea to shoo, and she covers Nikki, TWO! Charlotte tries again, TWO! Nikki is proving tougher than Charlotte likes, and Charlotte jams a knee into Nikki’s back! And again! Charlotte handsprings just to BOOT Nikki down! Charlotte mocks Asuka shouting for Nikki, then she fakes Nikki out to get on a thrashing chinlock! Nikki endures, Asuka coaches her on, and Nikki fights up. Charlotte drags Nikki over and throws her into the corner. Charlotte CHOPS Rhea to be a tag! “You mad?” Rhea seethes but she drags Nikki up just to throw her back down. Rhea mocks Asuka, then gets Nikki up for a suplex.

Rhea holds Nikki up for a count of 10, then 15, then 20, before the SLAM! Cover, TWO! Rhea drags Nikki back over, tags Charlotte with a hard pat on the head, and tells “the princess” to get in. Charlotte seethes but she toys with Nikki. Charlotte runs but only gets buckles as Nikki dodges! JAWBREAKER! Nikki kicks, Charlotte blocks and ducks the enziguri, then swipes at Asuka! Nikki runs in, Charlotte catches her and carries her away! Nikki’s boots get Rhea! Sunset flip, TWO! Charlotte runs in but Nikki ends her into buckles! Rhea tags in, gets Nikki up with a waistlock, but Nikki make sit a BULLDOG! Hot tag to Asuka! SLIDING WIZARD!! Cover, TWO!!

Asuka fires up, runs to HIP ATTACK Charlotte down, then BOOTS Rhea! Asuka dodges, Rhea hits ropes, CODE BREAKER!! Charlotte gets in and grabs at Asuka! Asuka kicks free, but Rhea gets her for a NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO!! Asuka gets to a corner, Rhea runs in but into a ROUNDHOUSE! Asuka GERMAN SUPLEXES! Asuka goes from a corner to run and HIP ATTACK Rhea down! Cover, TWO!! Asuka hurries, Nikki tags in, and Nikki goes to a corner. Nikki climbs and shouts at Rhea to get up. Rhea does, CROSSBODY!! Cover, but Charlotte pulls Nikki away! And then throws Nikki out!

Charlotte shouts for Rhea to tag her so they can get this done. Rhea ROCKS Charlotte instead! The Nightmare and Queen are brawling with each other! Nikki is very amused as Rhea pump handles. Charlotte rakes eyes to get free, then chop blocks and hits NATURAL SELECTION! Nikki covers, Nikki & Asuka win!

Winners: Nikki Cross & Asuka, by pinfall

A win is a win, and Nikki just pinned the Raw Women’s Champion! She and Asuka party on the announce desk, but how will Rhea repay Charlotte for this?

 

Alexa Bliss talks with Lily.

Yes, she knows, she’s going to tell everyone that. Not only did Shayna Baszler rudely interrupt their playdate with Reginald, Shayna also said the unthinkable. Alexa just repeats Shayna’s words so Lily can’t get mad. “She said Lily is just a stupid doll…!” Shayna is wrong! Don’t believe her? See what happens later when Shayna “plays” with them. Alexa promises it’ll be a real scream. Will the Queen of Spades wish she’d stayed away from Alexa’s Playground?

 

Mansoor VS Drew Gulak!

The Star of Saudi Arabia was undefeated for about 50 matches, including some of his biggest wins at Crown Jewel. But that’s just the level of competition on Monday Night Raw. Will Mansoor build up a new winning streak at the expense of the Philly Stretcher? Or will everything Mustafa Ali said about his old rival be proven true?

The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, and Mansoor arm-drags Gulak right away! Gulak gets up and is a bit surprised, but he and Mansoor circle again. They tie up, Mansoor wrenches to a wristlock but Gulak throws a haymaker to get a headlock. Mansoor powers out but Gulak runs him over. Gulak drops an elbow but misses, and Mansoor hits another arm-drag! Mansoor has the armlock but Gulak gets up. Mustafa is watching backstage as Mansoor puts Gulak in a corner. The ref counts the break, Mansoor lets off but Gulak SLAPS him, then CLOBBERS him! Well, there’s one point Mustafa brought up.

Gulak scoops and slams Mansoor into ropes! Mansoor clutches his legs, Gulak covers, TWO! Gulak gets Mansoor around, has the legs and pulls on them as he stands on Mansoor’s back! Mansoor endures, even as Gulak stands on his head. Mansoor fights up, throws forearms, and shoves Gulak away. Gulak comes back but into a CHOP and forearm! Mansoor whips Gulak to a corner but Gulak BOOTS back! High stack, TWO! Gulak hurries to Oklahoma Roll, TWO! Mansoor escapes again and Gulak seethes. Gulak scoops Manoosr, Mansoor slips off the back, but Gulak waistlocks to a school boy, and pulls tights! TWO, and Mansoor sits on Gulak for a cover, and WINS!

Winner: Mansoor, by pinfall

Gulak did do everything Mustafa said he would, and perhaps that is why Mansoor was able to win. Will Mansoor give credit where credit is due?

 

Randy Orton finds Matt Riddle backstage.

Orton lets Riddle “have the key,” and Riddle unlocks his mouth. Riddle thanks Randy for that, and says he’s been looking all over for him. Riddle has a match with Kofi after he was just trying to invite the New Day to his favorite burger place, Burger King. Riddle is famished and just wants to plop down in front of a delicious Whopper, fries and soda to chillax. Speaking of, WWE is going on the road, so these two could be road buddies! They could listen to chill tunes, and get Burger King in every state! Where’s Orton’s favorite place to go? Riddle loves Las Vegas-

Oh. Time to zip the lip again. Wait! Is Orton going to be with Riddle for the match? Not sure yet. Well, sweet hoodie. It has a viper with the stallion mane on it. Orton takes “the key” back, and puts it in the trash. Riddle pouts and scoots away, but will his actions speak for him?

Kofi Kingston w/ Xavier Woods VS Matt Riddle!

This match isn’t happening because of the Bro taking the hit for the Viper, this is more about those RKO’s before the match. But will MVP’s words weigh heavy on Kofi’s mind? Or will he be able to focus and solve the Riddle?

Raw returns and Riddle makes his entrance, and it looks like Orton still doesn’t feel the need to be ringside. But Riddle shrugs that off and gets in the ring. The bell rings, Kofi rushes Riddle but Riddle tackles him down! Kofi kicks him away, kicks and headbutts Riddle to a corner, then fires off fast hands. Kofi whips Riddle corner to corner, runs in and SPLASHES! Kofi snapmares, sits Riddle up and PENALTY KICKS him down! Cover, ONE! Kofi drops a splash, covers again, TWO! Riddle gets to his feet, Kofi fires off on him again. Kofi mule kicks, but Riddle gut wrench suplexes! Riddle holds on, gut wrench suplexes again, covers, TWO!

Riddle pushes Kofi down to drop the BROTON! Woods plays his trombone but Riddle covers, TWO! Riddle gets a little annoyed by Woods, but Woods mockingly asks, “What’s wrong, bruh?” Riddle turns around into Kofi’s JAWBREAKER! Kofi has Riddle in a corner again and CHOPS him! And CHOPS him! Kofi traps Riddle’s arms in the ropes to CHOP him! Woods likes that sound! Kofi covers, ONE! Riddle is getting mad, and here comes Randy! Riddle puts Kofi in a corner, whips him corner to corner, but Kofi goes up and up and missile dropkicks! Orton glares at Woods, but Kofi WRECKS the Viper with a dropkick! Woods says that’s what he gets!

Riddle gets up but Kofi dropkicks him out of the ring! Woods plays trombone right in Riddle’s face, but Orton gets Woods for an ANNOUNCE DESK BACK SUPLEX! Orton helps Riddle up but Kofi SUPER TRUST FALLS onto them both!! The New Day regroup and fire back up as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Riddle fires off body shots and a BOOT on Kofi! Kofi ends up in a corner, Riddle forearm smashes, goes side to side to forearm smash again, then hits the BROSPLODER! And a PENALTY KICK! Riddle fires up, gets Kofi up and suplexes, but Kofi slips out! Kofi is back in a corner and he BOOTS Riddle away. Kofi runs, goes up and up and FLYING RANAS! Riddle gets up into Kofi’s JUMPING STOMP! Cover, TWO! Orton coaches Riddle up but Woods coaches Kofi. Kofi kicks, CHOPS and REBOUND SPLASHES Riddle! Cover, TWO! Riddle is hanging tough but Kofi gets him up. Riddle shoves Kofi away, Kofi swing kicks in the corner!

Kofi takes a moment on the apron, but Riddle is right back! Dead lift, but Kofi elbows free! Riddle tumbles to the mat, Kofi climbs up the corner, but Riddle CHOPS him first! And another CHOP! Riddle climbs up, gets Kofi up, but Kofi hits back! Riddle steps down but CHOPS again! And again! Riddle climbs, gets Kofi back up, but Kofi holds off the superplex to SUPER GOURD BUSTER! And SPLASH Riddle off his feet! Cover, TWO!! Riddle survives and Orton applauds while Kofi seethes. Kofi stalks up behind Riddle, runs in but Riddle uses body scissors to throw Kofi up and out! Riddle gets in the ring, Kofi staggers back up, and Kofi goes to the apron, but avoids a knee!

Kofi shoulders into Riddle, but Riddle ROCKS him with a right! Kofi stumbles off the apron, Riddle goes out after him, and Riddle ROCKS Kofi with that drive-by forearm! Riddle fires off on Kofi at the desk, KICKS him, and says, Gimme some!” Jimmy Smith fist bumps Riddle but Kofi puts Riddle in the ring. Riddle KNEES Kofi, and looks to Orton as he brings Kofi out along the ropes! Orton smiles as Riddle hits a DRAPING DDT! Orton says to finish this, and Riddle says not yet! Riddle has one more thing to do first. Riddle hears the voices in his head!! Orton says that’s not really how he should do this. Kofi staggers up, and denies Riddle’s RKO!

Kofi spins, Riddle ducks Trouble in Paradise and gets the gut wrench! Kofi powers out and spins Riddle for TROUBLE IN PARADISE!! Cover, Kofi wins!!

Winner: Kofi Kingston, by pinfall

The Bro tried to be like his bro, but bro, that didn’t work. The New Day is fired up, and Orton walks away. Is this going to jeopardize the chances of RKBRO truly becoming a team?

 

Nia Jax finds Shayna Baszler backstage.

Nia wants Shayna to listen. Things have been tense for many reasons- It’s because Alexa Bliss keeps sticking her nose their business for whatever reason, and because Nia keeps getting distracted by Reginald. Those cost them the tag team titles. Oh, how is Reggie, by the way? At home recovering for what Shayna did to him, which was way out of line? SHE is out of line? Nia isn’t here to argue, okay? She is offering her help. Nia has known Alexa a long time, and this is the most dangerous she’s ever seen her.

You think Shayna is scared of a little girl with a doll? It’s JUST a stupid doll, so NO, Shayna doesn’t need nor want Nia’s help. If anything, Alexa could use Nia’s help because Shayna’s going to show everyone what happens when you cross the Queen of Spades! Shayna storms down the hall, but will Twisted Lil’ Bliss and that “stupid little doll” have more than just a swing waiting for her at The Playground?

 

Raw returns and Alexa’s Playground is in the ring.

Alexa welcomes us back, and says that normally this is a place for friends. This week might be different, but who knows? Maybe after tonight, we’ll have a new friend! Right, Lily? Lily, be a bit more openminded. New friends come in different shapes, sizes and blood types. But- Here comes Shayna! Alexa waves hi but Shayna doesn’t wave back. Shayna steps into the ring, and shoves the rocking horse over! That wasn’t nice. Shayna didn’t learn her lesson last week. She did something naughty, but Alexa still hopes things will change. Alexa and Lily want to give Shayna a chance to be their new friend. She just has to apologize to Lily.

Shayna? Apologize? To a doll? Yep. Just two little words, “I’m sorry.” Shayna laughs and says Alexa is even more delusional than she looks. Alexa is what happened to Reggie. And more importantly, Alexa is what happened to Shayna’s & Nia’s tag title reign. What? Shayna thinks that was Alexa? That’s just silly! Alexa would never do that, she wants everyone to be friends. What was that, Lily? Oh. Alexa says it is in Shayna’s best interests just to apologize to Lily. Shayna gets up, grabs Lily, and smirks as she looks at it. “Lily, I’m sorry… I’m sorry that you’re just a stupid doll!” Shayna drops Lily, then Alexa ROCKS Shayna with a right hand!

Alexa fires off on Shayna but Shayna shoves her away! Shayna then STOMPS on Lily! Alexa is frozen in place as Shayna dares something to happen, then STOMPS on Lily’s head! Wait, the screens start glitching out. Alexa smirks and Shayna bails out. Alexa picks Lily up and cradles her, then FIRE explodes from the ramp! Shayna runs up to the stage, and then MORE FIRE! Shayna runs away while Alexa laughs, and cameras cut to gorilla. Shayna shakes off the bit of fear from those jump scares, but then the lights start flickering back here, too! Shayna gets out of the way of a falling cart! And of falling girders! Shayna runs for it before the whole place comes apart!

Shayna makes it to the back and says it’s just a stupid doll. But all the doors are locked! And then the lights start flickering again! Shayna keeps telling herself Lily is just Alexa’s doll, and she finds the one door that wasn’t locked. Shayna hears big footsteps coming, so she hurries into another room and closes the door! Shayna locks it up tight and puts a couch in front of the door for good measure. Shayna says this is NOT happening. But she turns around to see a mirror. And in the mirror is LILY!! Shayna is doing her best not to freak out. See? Lily isn’t really there. But then… the mirror keeps showing her!

Shayna BOOTS the mirror and shatters it! Shayna is freaking out because Lily’s still there! Is there no running from what she’s done? Will she have no choice but to accept that Lily is not just some doll?


My Thoughts:

Well this was another mixed bag for Raw. The ending we just saw was both a good and bad closing segment. It’s good that there is progress towards Alexa’s in-ring return, where it seems Shayna Baszler is going to be her opponent. But WWE could’ve really done a lot better these last two months since WrestleMania 37. She and Bray Wyatt should’ve been feuding over the powers of The Funhouse/Playground, but we haven’t seen Bray since Alexa screwed him over against Randy Orton.

Secondly, I’m not sure getting dragged into the supernatural is really something Shayna Baszler should be doing. The level of production on the ending segment was good and all, but why would Shayna want to talk this out at all? Shayna should’ve been going for a match with Alexa, and then that match never happens because of stuff like we saw here. It’d work out to about the same but at least it’d fit under Shayna’s character: fight first, talk later. Then with Hell in a Cell coming, Alexa and Shayna could have a supernaturally influenced cinematic match would be good to open the main show with. They might still do that anyway, but it’s always the small details that help.

I do like that we’re getting more on Mustafa and Mansoor. Mustafa gave Mansoor pointers on Gulak, and I guess Gulak shifts back and forth between Face and Heel as needed. A part of me is alright that his feud with Garza is over because it had such lackluster motivation, but it shows Raw has no follow through, and that they’re extra screwed with having very little people to choose from. But the main thing is, Mansoor wins but technically does have to give credit to Mustafa. Whatever we get between those two, from a feud to a tag team, is going to be good for both of them and for Raw, given the promos and in-ring ability Mustafa can give when given the chance.

Ryker VS Elias wasn’t much, but obviously this wasn’t going to be the end of the feud by a long shot. I feel like this has the same energy as “Let’s have Roman Reigns take on Sheamus” from a few years back. The Heel Heat fans had for Sheamus was supposed to translate to the Face Heat for Roman, but I don’t recall it working. We still don’t have live fans so I can’t be sure how Ryker is being received, but something about this makes sense. Hardy VS Alexander was good, and Alexander losing isn’t a bad thing. Alexander’s ego needed to hit a speedbump, and now he’ll have to prove he can get back up.

The Raw Women’s Division is a mixed bag all in itself. Lana is gone so there goes a tag team. Shayna is busy with Alexa, so one tag team is on hold. And the build to the Raw Women’s Championship is leaning more on having them finally build Nikki Cross as a competitor than anything. Rhea and Charlotte of course don’t work as a tag team, which is at least good storytelling, but I don’t know. Something just isn’t clicking, and yet Vince and his team just don’t seem to understand that. With news of a new WWE Draft coming after SummerSlam, I can only imagine that Raw will leech off SmackDown and NXT, but what good does moving pieces around when the players are the same inept ones playing now?

Tonight’s contract signing was pretty good, though. It was different than most, where the physicality wasn’t McIntyre on Lashley but McIntyre and his sword on the table. McIntyre might’ve gone on a little too long with the story of Richard the Bruce and the spider and the famous saying, but the real results of this segment were both natural moves and great moves. One, putting this match inside Hell in a Cell, because duh, that’s the PPV. Two, putting the stipulation that this is McIntyre’s last shot against Lashley, because one way or another, it does have to be the last time. Now, that stipulation doesn’t guarantee either result, but if McIntyre does lose, I can only think that he then goes on to the US Championship to finally finish his Grand Slam.

Speaking of which, Carrillo VS Ricochet in a contender’s match was another good and natural move. These two could’ve given a bit more but it’s fine that they held back. It was a good move for Sheamus not to interfere, both for his legit broken nose, and because it’d be too much for another dirty finish after other contender’s matches were “ruined” on Raw. But I think with a go-home episode left, the draw tonight is at the very least a sign that we’re getting another Triple Threat match for a title. Anyone’s guess as to who wins then, as we’ve seen all possibilities just these past few months.

Opening with the tag battle royal was a good move, but Styles’ promo and even the response promos from the top two teams were a little paint by numbers. The Heel champions list off who is in the match, mocking them, the challengers give it back, and then match gets going. The battle royal itself was good, and I’m pleasantly surprised the Viking Raiders win. Styles did put them over a bit last week on Raw Talk so something about this makes sense. Their promo backstage was alright, with Omos eating that turkey leg being the best part. They’re going to have a great match at HIAC, that’s for sure, but Styles & Omos are going to win.

MVP approaching Kofi backstage was actually a good detail in the story. MVP is trying to motivate a few things in Kofi, from getting more aggressive to ditching New Day and perhaps joining up in a new Hurt Business formation. Riddle VS Kofi to be the main event match was great stuff, and I think we did see some of that new aggression from Kofi. Riddle also showed his aggression, perhaps stemming from teaming with Orton. It was a good detail that Riddle trying to be too much like Orton is what cost him. Riddle could’ve used Bro Derek or Floating Bro to finish Kofi but he wanted to be like Orton and do the whole spiel before hitting the RKO. I hope this means Orton has to ironically tell Riddle to be himself and win his way.

And with SummerSlam being in Las Vegas, where Riddle currently resides, I wouldn’t be surprised if SummerSlam is when and where RKBRO get their tag title match and win. Fans will be back by then, fans still like Orton and I’m sure they like Riddle, so they’d react very strongly if RKBRO wins, or if Orton turns on Riddle. I personally hope for the former, but Orton and Riddle can definitely make for a great feud going into the Fall.

My Score: 8/10


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More From Japan

NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.187 ~ 29TH SEPTEMBER 2022

Keiji Mutoh continues his Retirement tour and bringing out faces from the past! NOAH has a new champion! Interesting inter-promotional battles on the horizon as well!

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Kaito Kiyomiya is the new GHC Heavyweight Champion, nominates Kazuyuki Fujita as challenger

Following provocation by Kenoh not only saying that he was going to be the one to inherit Keiji Mutoh’s Shining Wizard and the memory of Keiji Mutoh himself (and the outright claim that Kiyomiya would simply forget about Mutoh once Mutoh had retired, which Kiyomiya didn’t even bother responding to), Kenoh went one step further at their last pre match on the 19th September by pulling Keiji Mutoh’s pose, kissing his hand, putting it to Kiyomiya’s lips and then exploding it. Kiyomiya erupted in fury at this, it was far more than any verbal provocation of Kenoh’s, which I guess he has learned to ignore over the years. They fought for the GHC Heavyweight in Nagoya on September 25th, with Kiyomiya emerging victorious following a modified Shining Wizard. As Kenoh left it was like a spell was broken. Kenoh went backstage and muttered about Kiyomiya being the company favorite and in his interview the day after winning the title, Kiyomiya said nothing about Keiji Mutoh. Mutoh as we know had been a focus of both Kiyomiya and Kenoh leading up to the title match.

Back in the ring, Kiyomiya called out his next opponent. Kazuyuki Fujita. Fujita came to the ring, carrying a can of beer which he swigged from. Getting in the ring he circled Kiyomiya and took off his t-shirt. Kiyomiya said that he was expecting a fight, but Fujita did something that no other NOAH wrestler had (or perhaps would) do, and that was to throw himself at Kiyomiya and then make nuzzling motions against his head, while he licked the belt. Kiyomiya pushed him off, and Fujita retaliated by pouring beer over his head.

Kiyomiya screaming that he hated beer was met with Fujita toasting him from the ramp and yelling “Kampaiii” (“cheers”) after a fight had broken out, and Kiyomiya threw him from the ring.

 

Backstage, Kiyomiya said his reason for nominating Kazuyuki Fujita as his challenger was that he had never been defeated for the GHC Heavyweight. Fujita had to give up the belt due to Coronavirus. It has been a recurring theme of most of the GHC Heavyweight champions since Go Shiozaki, that Fujita has been the man to beat in order to cement yourself as champion. Kiyomiya was picking up that torch.

As for Fujita, he played it as if he was a Casanova and had been asked out on a date by warning Kiyomiya that when you experience Fujita, you can never go back because you were never going to be the same. He was going to “make it a night to remember”. He sipped his beer, and licked his lips afterwards.

Title match has been set for NOAH’s return to Ariake on the 30th October.

STINGER lose, NOAH Junior Regulars win, enter Tadasuke (with a chair)

Following a period of brutal attacks on Seiki Yoshioka (by the end of the match he could hardly use one side of his body) and a title challenge where Atsushi Kotoge was bloodied up, The NOAH Junior Regulars emerged victorious and bought the tag titles home to their unit. They had very little time to celebrate their win and put ice on their wounds, when Tadasuke burst in and attacked Atsushi Kotoge with a chair while Hi69 beat up on the already incapacitated Seiki Yoshioka. Tadasuke (wild grin on his face) got on the microphone and made a challenge for the tag titles. Then Tadasuke wiped the blood from Kotoge that had got on his hands on his hair, leaving red streaks in the peroxide. Tadasuke was even waving the bloodied seat of the chair, which had detached during the attack, around backstage.

Title match will be on the 30th October when NOAH return to the Ariake complex.

Takashi Sugiura and Satoshi Kojima, NOAH’s most dysfunctional tag team, win the GHC Heavyweight tag titles

It must be said that with the combined efforts of Satoshi Kojima and Hideki Suzuki, we almost have our Sugi back.

At the press conference/title match signing, Sugi and Kojima appeared dressed in suits and wearing dark glasses. They looked something between The Men In Black and “Dangerous Detectives” (as Tokyo Sports called them  which stems from a Japanese TV show). Hideki Suzuki was on form, not only mistranslating Timothy Thatcher and stating at one point that Thatcher said he came to Japan to “beat you up” and being rude to a journalist for being overfamiliar with his “punk mouth”, the highlight of the press conference was his long close up stare at Sugi, who was trying not to laugh.

The dysfunctional team won the titles in Nagoya on the 25th September, and despite their falling out during the match, Sugi actually gave Kojima a proper handshake. Then they went back to squabbling backstage over Kojima talking on the mic when it was Sugi who got the win. No challengers have come forward as of yet.

HAYATA retains the GHC Junior, Ninja Mack makes his long awaited challenge

It had been an emotional match for YO-HEY, and for fans. Cutting out the aerial techniques that had characterized their earlier matches, both he and HAYATA demonstrated how much they had both evolved by concentrating on a more NOAH based ground attack with submissions. YO-HEY might have failed in the challenge, but he had at least gotten one win over HAYATA in the pre-match. He knew the title match would be different and he would need to level up, and afterwards he reflected and said he would start from rock bottom in order to make his next challenge. What fans had noticed that while things had changed between them, some things were the same, such as YO-HEY coloring his hair, his tongue (and even his boxer shorts) purple, which is HAYATA’s color, and HAYATA not speaking as much as he has done in previous title challenges, as he is content to let YO-HEY talk. After the match, Ninja Mack came to challenge. HAYATA accepted by saying, that he was “finally interested in the belt” and acknowledging him as challenger. Title match will of course be on the 30th October. But HAYATA is not immediately going into a fallout match with Ninja Mack at NOAH’s next event on the 30th, but is having a tag match against YO-HEY.

Keiji Mutoh’s Retirement Road

Keiji Mutoh has been very busy.

– 23rd September: Great Muta appears in AEW

The Great Muta made a surprise appearance in AEW to rescue Sting, who had been tied to a chair by Darby Allen. Muta came to the ring, advanced on Sting and then turned and spat green mist into the face of Allen and then reunited with Sting. Keiji Mutoh announced that Sting would attend Muta’s retirement on the 22nd in Yokohama, but has not said in what capacity, although it is assumed that they will tag. Regarding any further appearances in America, Mutoh said he didn’t think it was likely, but did warn that The Great Muta may pop up somewhere as you never knew where he would turn up next.

– 25th September: Keiji Mutoh Retirement Road: Love Forever 2

Keiji Mutoh teamed with his junior Kazuyuki Fujita to take on Mutoh’s classmate, Masakatsu Funaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima, who Mutoh has known since he was a boy, and still calls affectionately “Katsuhiko”. Nakajima said he was going to break up this class reunion, and while Mutoh did get kicked (Nakajima smirked and said it was fun when Mutoh later complained his leg still hurt) but it was Fujita who got the worst of it. During the match, Nakajima pulled out Mutoh’s Space Rolling Elbow. Mutoh was initially not pleased, but then he became very happy to see it and said that he thought that “Katsuhiko” did it because he had some small measure of feeling for him. I think had Nakajima been a more acrobatic wrestler, Mutoh might have handed it to him. Mutoh won the match with The Shining Wizard, pinning Nakajima. This was Mutoh’s farewell to Nagoya, his classmate, his junior and Nakajima.

– 26th September: Hiroshi Tanahashi comes to the press conference and a tag match is announced

Hiroshi Tanahashi presented 38 roses to Mutoh when he came to the press conference. Each rose symbolizes a year of Mutoh’s career. Mutoh joked that he should have laid them at his feet, as had happened in boxing recently. Tanahashi said he wasn’t good at ad-libbing, and then introduced himself as “one of the greatest New Japan talents in the past one hundred years”. During the press conference, a tag match was announced. New Japan’s Hiroshi Tanahashi, Togi Makabe and Honma Tomoaki will team together against the team of Naomichi Marufuji, Keiji Mutoh and Keiji Mutoh. This will take place on the 30th October. Mutoh has not given up hope of appearing one final time in the New Japan ring.

– 16th October: A new match is announced

NOAH announced that due to fan demand, Keiji Mutoh will be appearing in Fukuoka. He will tag with Ninja Mack and Satoshi Kojima against Naomichi Marufuji, HAYATA and Jack Morris. Satoshi Kojima is of course connected to Mutoh through All Japan and New Japan, Naomichi Marufuji has wanted a match against Mutoh (he will be tagging with him as we know on the 30th October) and HAYATA has been a big fan of Mutoh for a while, as he has influenced a lot of his style and persona. HAYATA thinks of himself and The Great Muta as “The Phantom Team”. Muta doesn’t like to speak and HAYATA said, neither does he.

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima head overseas

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima will appear for Evolution Pro Wrestling in New York for their anniversary show on November 12th. Marufuji’s match is yet to be announced, but Nakajima will take on Josh Alexander. Alexander has said he wonders how Nakajima is going to kick after he snaps his ankle. They will also appear at King of Indies in San Francisco on November 19th.

NOSAWA vs Katsuhiko Nakajima (and Kenoh)

After being beaten up by Katsuhiko Nakajima who gave him some pretty stiff soccerball kicks outside the ring at Korakuen Hall recently, (although he would tell you that Nakajima tried to beat him up), NOSAWA Rongai has been on a quest to face Nakajima in a match. Then he threw in Kenoh, so it could be himself and Eita versus Kongoh. Hideki Suzuki told him that he was probably going to die, but NOSAWA has taken no notice and kept on with his demand. His demand has not been met because rather than facing Nakajima and Kenoh, NOAH have booked him against rookies Yasutaka Yano and Kai Fujimura. NOSAWA thinks he is having to go through some kind of trial.

ELSEWHERE IN NOAH

– Hideki Suzuki has hinted that perhaps Takashi Sugiura might like to get back online.

– Yoshiki Inamura and YO-HEY continued their guild, despite the fact that YO-HEY said someone attacked and burned their castle down. A picture was taken of YO-HEY and Inamura playing the game, with YO-HEY seated cross legged on Inamura, who was doing a bridge in the ring. We have seen Inamura used as a weight, but is he now used as furniture?

– NOAH’s Director, Narihiro Takeda, wrote on a NOAH Note that he would like for Darby Allin to come to NOAH one day.

– Tadasuke got a match thrown out by ripping off Alejandro’s mask. Tadasuke did not care, and did not even respond when Alejandro asked if he wanted a mask for himself?

– Daiki Inaba had his long awaited singles match with Katsuhiko Nakajima, but failed to revenge himself for Nakajima’s behavior in W-1. Nakajima even went for the cocky pin by grinning and leaning on Inaba.

– There was usual chaos at the NOAH Junior Space sessions as Daisuke Harada is not there to take control. Atsushi Kotoge seems to be the main culprit, forgetting to invite Seiki Yoshioka in and at one time even failing to press record.

– It’s probably best that Daiki Inaba, who apparently likes to be in the nip backstage, was not present when NOAH was at Differ. It was bad enough that Sugi used to wander around naked…

– Mitsuharu Misawa wrote in a diary entry for 2006 about filming an advert for THE LEAVE, and having to sing first thing in the morning while they were filming. Probably due to the fact that he had a problem with his throat anyway, was a heavy smoker and had taken “so many chops and kicks” to it in his career, he said he sounded very hoarse.

EVENT RECAPS AND POST MATCH PROMOS

SUNNY VOYAGE – September 19th 

Event recap

Post match promos

N-INNOVATION – September 21st 

Event recap

Post match promos

GRAND SHIP 2022 IN NAGOYA/KEIJI MUTOH RETIREMENT ROAD – September 25th

Event recap

Post match promos

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

  • GHC Heavyweight Champion: Kaito Kiyomiya
    Challenger: Kazuyuki Fujita, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Junior Champion: HAYATA
    Challenger: Ninja Mack, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: KojiSugi (Satoshi Kojima & Takashi Sugiura)
    Challengers: TBA
  • GHC Junior Tag Champions: The NOAH Junior Regulars (Atsushi Kotoge & Seiki Yoshioka)
    Challengers: Kongoh Juniors (Tadasuke & Hi69), [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC National Champion: Masakatsu Funaki
    Challenger: Masa Kitamiya, SUNNY VOYAGE 2022 – Friday September 30th (Bandaijima Multi-Purpose Square Ogama)

(This event will not be broadcast live, but hopefully this match will be shown via Instagram)

THIS WEEK IN NOAH

(October 2022 schedule)

– Friday, October 7th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse/ABEMA (live)

– Saturday, October 8th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse (live)

Note about broadcasts

Unless you are living in Japan or have a VPN you know is compatible with ABEMA, please do not subscribe to the service. For fans living outside of Japan, a subscription to WrestleUniverse would be better as they show more NOAH shows than ABEMA, and usually the events get uploaded very quickly. ABEMA broadcasts are only in Japanese, you can only watch them live, and this is the only NOAH they show. They do not broadcast old shows as these belong to Samurai TV.

BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES

Wednesday, 5th October: Keiji Mutoh debut anniversary (38)

Wednesday, 5th October: Seiki Yoshioka debut anniversary (14)

LINKS

“I want to protect this belt for the rest of my life”, new GHC champion Kiyomiya holds morning press conference to establish a new NOAH landscape

Mutoh’s Retirement Road, tag match against Tanahashi in round three: “I want to grab the secret of secrets”, Tanahashi presents 38 roses

Great Muta teaming up with Sting for last match? “Agent” Mutoh’s opinion 

“I wonder if I can transmit more” YO-HEY aims to revitalize the junior ark with his first championship

AEW Shock! Great Muta appears in America! Rescues Sting and shake of hands

“Follow Me You Bastards” – Kenoh’s Weekly Pro Column

GHC Junior Match Signing: YO-HEY “Last Chance, I don’t think as my ex partner now”, HAYATA “I don’t feel anything”

“Taka & Satoshi” reveal a “dangerous detective” look, mischievous Suzuki is a reckless interpreter, the GHC tag signing ceremony is thrown into chaos by bizarre question and answer between the two teams

 A “Comrade” and an “Older Brother”, Masakatsu Funaki talks about his thoughts on Mutoh’s retirement, “I want to kick him mercilessly”

BOOK CORNER

“Donmai, Donmai” – Mitsuharu Misawa’s diary

With thanks to: Metal NOAH

GIF taken from WrestleUniverse & NOAH Official YouTube

Picture credit: YO-HEY & NOAH.co.jp


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Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 9.29.2022

Bound for Glory is 8 days away, but Victory Road just happened. What kind of show do we get with some fallout and penultimate hype?

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Victory Road just happened, but Bound for Glory is like 8 nights away? You know I forgot that it was such a quick turn around. That makes tonight weird, since there’s some fallout, but then there’s gonna be a lot of table setting for Bound for Glory.

This episode could be awful. The last week or so haven’t exactly set the world afire, so I’m curious if the highlight really is just gonna be the Monster’s Ball with Masha and Allie Katch.

*insert joke about possibly gagging and balls and Swinger’s Dungeon*

Ratings:

  • Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid: Bullet Club win via Finesse & Fold – **
  • IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve: Myers retains via Roster Cut – ** 1/2
  • Delirious vs Black Taurus: Black Taurus wins via Destination Hellhole – ** 1/4
  • PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath: Rich wins via Phoenix Splash – ** 1/4
  • Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – *** 1/2

Results:

Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid

I don’t think I could care less about this match if I tried. Trey and Laredo are worthless. Laredo has eaten so many terrible losses and Trey is just bad. If the BC Juniors don’t win…I will really question the booking.

My biggest takeaway early is the commentary tries to put over Trey “turning heads”. No he doesn’t, he is legitimately hard to watch and everything that Will Ospreay did wrong in his early career; is basically Trey, but with less personality. Oh did you expect play by play? They isolate Laredo, decent tandem attacks, when Trey comes in it’s bad offense typical Cruiser garbage with laughable facials and body language.

Just typical crap with Trey. Were there some cool high spots? Sure. Do I care? NOPE.

IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve

Steve starts with some of his quirky mat wrestling, Arm Wringers into Drop Toe Holds and face biting. It shocked Myers early, but he takes a small shortcut and starts trying to slow down the psycho from Decay. Steve bounces off the ropes and Myers does his sliding trip move before commercial.

Back from commercial, Snapmare from Steve and the neck twister into some corner offense of Hip Attacks and Sentons for 2. Myers dodges King Kill 33, lands a few pot shots, Implant DDT for 2. Into the corner, face bite, Upside Down, after the rope break Myers grabs the referee to block Steve. Eye Poke, Roster Cut, AND STILL…

Simple, but entertaining. Plus it continues Myers’ arrogant, full of himself for absolutely no reason persona. Oh and he offers up an Open Challenge for Bound for Glory. Maybe Bobby Fish? Someone new? Could be interesting. 

Delirious vs Black Taurus

Delirious is between gibberish and Stone Cold early on while they’re just trading shots. Delirious twists the Nose Ring…in the mask…and Taurus sells it momentarily before stomping the foot and decking him. This is just a weird match. I mean we all know Delirious is weird, but he’s not all comedy; and Taurus is supposed to be legit-ish.

Admittedly, with the exception of Victory Road, it has been years since I’ve watched a Delirious match. So the level of ridiculousness has hit Toru Yano levels, especially after the 10 count Leg Drops. Taurus powders, comes back in, Shoulder Tackle, Blackhole Backbreaker into a Samoan Drop. As soon as Taurus looks in charge, Delirious throws together a combo, eats a Headbutt and then Destination Hellhole.

Sheesh okay after 2 interview segments we get to Honor No More’s victory celebration segment. Just a lot of talking and inaction, so this just goes to feed that weird feeling I had coming into the show because of the timing. Eddie does the usual thing where hates on PCO and accuses him of being the weak link, which is a smart story angle since the fans tend to like PCO’s gimmick and this makes him more sympathetic to casual observers. 

Oh good Taven is talking nowWait did I just say that? DAMN YOU IMPACT! Made me like Matt Taven. Maria stirs the pot a little saying that Eddie is a better wrestler than Josh and Moose…by the implications. 

Thank God, Josh Alexander finally breaks up the segment with…more talking. Okay never mind. Jesus since the end of the Delirious match it was like 15 minutes before Josh finally charged the ring and threw down a bit with Honor No More. Rich Swann and Heath make a bit of the babyface save for Josh, but the numbers are still on Honor No More’s side. Oh MCMG come down in a tracksuit and dress clothes! Someone wasn’t ready to be doing a run in.

PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath

Well isn’t that convenient that four of the men in the donnybrook were supposed to be in a match anyway.

Rich uses his quickness to try and stay ahead of PCO, but PCO cuts him off in the corner into the Corner Hung Codebreaker, then the leaned against the ropes Leg Drop thing. Vincent throws together a T-Bone Suplex into a Flatliner and keeps the vibes flowing on Rich Swann.

PCO clears out Heath, but PCO’s hand gets stuck in the ropes. Vincent eats a flip kick and the Phoenix Splash while PCO and Heath are brawling on the outside after the rope issue with PCO.

Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch

Haymakers and Headbutts start things off as they both hit the ropes and lay out one another with dual clotheslines. Trash can lid duel, Masha gets first contact, but Allie blocks and returns 3 shots. German Suplex from Masha into whipping her with a chain, some choking and then general pulling with the chain in Katch’s mouth or around her eyes. Katch claws at Masha’s eyes to try and get some space.

Headbutts and Biting from Masha as Allie tries to power out of a Bow and Arrow. More chain choking…I’m not sure if this is a wrestling match or BDSM prep at the moment. Ahh Masha needs more Cowbell but Allie cuts her off with a trash can lid. Allie tries a Piledriver through a door, but Masha turns it into an Air Raid Crash into the opposite corner.

Commercial break, and Allie is getting choked again. Spots get a little redundant, slams, chokes, and blood. OHHH – it’s a “Use the Door” chant. I thought it was – nah – I won’t say what I thought it was. Chairshot from Masha misses, but a Snap Suplex from Masha onto the chair gets some usefulness. Straight Right to the gut and an Axe Kick allows Masha to hit the Death Valley Driver onto the propped up chair. Masha goes back to biting after it was only 2. Allie cuts off Masha going to the top, Superplex onto the trash can lid, into a Death Valley Driver through the door – but Masha kicks out.

Allie tries a Piledriver on the apron a few times, but Masha blocks. Masha tries for the Release German to the floor but Allie holds on. Dazed strikes, bites and then a Russian Leg Sweep through the table lays both out for a short time. Masha grabs a black bag, it’s gotta be tacks for Monster’s Ball. Masha eats a few tacks for good show, picks up Allie but Allie fights. Piledriver into the tacks from Allie, only 2. Allie opens a trash can, and empties a bunch of cut up soda cans. Hits Masha with the can, Masha fires, Spinning Heel Kick and then Russian Death Device into the pile of tacks and cans.

Overall Score: 6.25/10

The main event was pretty good, maybe even a little better than I gave it credit for; I’m just sick of seeing some crazy hardcore match so often from Impact. It feels like its weekly, and that’s too damn much. Trey is terrible, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. He sells poorly, he doesn’t tell a story with his wrestling and he looks like an idiot pretending to be something he isn’t; and that’s talented.

Myers is fine with his classic delusional heel style, Delirious gave a bit of a rub to Taurus so I’m guessing he’s probably next up in the X Division. But a straight 15 minutes of interviews and talking is just too damn much especially when the surrounding wrestling isn’t very good or hearty enough to help people tolerate talking time.

I do however love Joe Hendry. So…yeah. There’s always some quirky gimmicks that just resonate well with me, and this is gorgeous.

All in all, decent enough; though next week could be a real banger of a Go Home.


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