Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (7/14/21)
This is just night ONE of Fyter Fest!
AEW returns to Texas and it’s a dynamite Fyter Fest!
Everything’s bigger and Texas, and that goes for Dynamite! AEW has the FTW Championship and IWGP US Championship on the same card of just night ONE of two!
- IWGP US Championship: Jon Moxley w/ Eddie Kingston VS Karl Anderson w/ Luke Gallows; Moxley wins and
- FTW Championship: Brian Cage VS Ricky Starks; Starks wins and becomes the new FTW Champion.
- Matt Hardy VS Christian Cage; Christian wins.
- Wheeler Yuta w/ Best Friends VS Sammy Guevara; wins.
- Penelope Ford VS Yuka Sakazaki; Sakazaki wins.
- Coffin Match: Darby Allin VS Ethan Page; Darby wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
IWGP US Championship: Jon Moxley w/ Eddie Kingston VS Karl Anderson w/ Luke Gallows!
The Maniac’s return to Dynamite is a hot one! He still has NJPW’s US title, and he’s going to defend it in the US against the Machine Gun! Will this #ViolentGentleman prove he’s far from done with this reign? Or will the Elite continue to ruin Moxley’s return to open Fyter Fest?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if Mox gets payback by proxy!
But before things get going, Eddie Kingston has a pipe and he SMACKS Luke Gallows with it! Moxley goes after Anderson, there’s brawling all over, and Kingston makes sure Gallows is far away from the ring! Moxley and Anderson are going to be 1v1 for real now and Moxley CHOPS Anderson! And CHOPS again! Kingston and Gallows have ended up by the stage as Anderson BOOTS Moxley from a corner. Moxley checks his chin and fans fire up behind him. Anderson and Moxley throw hands back and forth, fans rally and duel, and things get fast and furious! Moxley gets the edge, CLUBS Anderson, then runs, into an uppercut!
Moxley gets to a corner, Anderson grabs him by the hair and CHOPS him. Anderson throws forearms but fans rally for Moxley. Moxley gets in Anderson’s face, eggs him on, and the forearms keep flying. Moxley HEADBUTTS Anderson down, then clotheslines him out of the ring! Moxley pursues, and brings Anderson around to whip Anderson into railing! Fans fire up and the ref stays with these two as they go to the ramp. Moxley gets Anderson up but Anderson blocks a suplex. Anderson turns it around to snap suplex Moxley to the ramp! Anderson snarls as the NJPW style 20 count begins. Anderson gets Moxley up and around and bumps him off railings at 5 of 20.
Anderson CHOPS Moxley, Moxley CHOPS back! Moxley bumps Anderson off the timekeeper’s table as we reach 10 of 20! Moxley chokes Anderson with a mic cord, then sits Anderson down in a corner to fire off haymakers! And BITE Anderson’s forehead! Moxley puts Anderson in at 15 of 20 and fans fire up as Moxley continues in. Anderson HOTSHOTS Moxley, then runs to SHOTGUN BOOT Moxley down! Moxley bumps off barriers and a new count begins. Anderson lets it climb to 5 of 20, Moxley gets up at 7 and in at 8. Anderson throws hands, digs his boots in, but lets off as the ref counts. Fans boo but Anderson pretends he can’t hear it.
Anderson brings Moxley out but Moxley throws body shots! Moxley runs but into a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Anderson grows frustrated but he goes to the corner and climbs up. Moxley stands, Anderson eggs him on but Moxley throws a haymaker! Moxley goes up top to CLAW Anderson’s back over and over! Fans fire up as he BITES Anderson again! The ref reprimands, Moxley gets Anderson up for a SUPERPLEX! Both men are down but the fans fire up! Anderson gets to a corner, fans rally up and Moxley runs in, but into a BOOT! Anderson runs but into a GERMAN SUPLEX! But he’s right up to BOOT Moxley, but Moxley comes back to LARIAT!
Moxley gets Anderson up, Anderson slips out of the suplex but no Gun Stun! DOUBLE CLOTHESLINES! But both men get up fast, for another DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! Fans are thunderous for these two as they’re down again. A standing count begins, but Moxley rises at 5 of 10. Moxley gets Anderson up at 6, shoots in and gets a SLEEPER! Anderson reaches, Moxley turns him around and lifts, but Anderson resists the piledriver. Moxley throws knees but runs into a BOOT! Anderson scoops for a PILEDRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives and Anderson is seething! Anderson goes up top, FLYING NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!!
Moxley gets up, Anderson fireman’s carries, but Moxley slips off and kicks low to underhook! PARA- NO! Anderson gets out, Moxley runs, ROLLING ELBOW! Anderson stays up to GUN STUN!! But Moxley rolls away towards a corner! Anderson is beside himself as Moxley survives, but fans fire up again. Anderson runs in to uppercut! Anderson runs corner to corner but Moxley follows to clothesline! Moxley goes corner to corner again but Anderson gets him for a fireman’s carry, T K O GUN STUN! Cover, TWO!! Anderson hurries right up top, leaps again, but Moxley catches the neckbreaker to a ripcord, RAINMAKER?! Would Okada approve?
Moxley gets Anderson up again, underhooks and PARADIGM SHIFT!! Cover, Moxley wins!
Winner: Jon Moxley, by pinfall (still IWGP US Champion)
Fans go wild for the wild thing winning and retaining his title! Moxley is now the record holder for this championship in successful title defenses, but will he just be adding to that record again and again?
AEW hears from Lance Archer and Jake the Snake Roberts.
Jake says, “I’ll tell you one thing, one more word from these idiots telling me-” Archer has Jake calm down. This is simple. “Jon, this is so simple it hurts!” Moxley just beat Karl Anderson and kept that IWGP US Championship. But Moxley took that title from Archer over a year and a half ago. January 4th, 2020, in the Tokyo Dome. Archer says Moxley’s win record is impressive: Minoru Suzuki; Kenta; Yuji Nagata. But it’s time for Archer’s rematch! They had a Texas Deathmatch in Japan, so it is only fitting that in Dallas, Texas, next week for Fyter Fest Night 2, they just do it again! Moxley VS Archer, Texas Deathmatch II!
They say you shouldn’t be afraid but Moxley knows better and Archer knows different. One man leaves champion, and the other won’t even be standing. Will the Maniac be up for that insane invitation from the Murderhawk Monster?
Backstage interview with Andrade El Idolo.
Alex Abrahantes notes Andrade’s successful AEW in-ring debut against Matt Sydal. Now, he knows Andrade has spoken with Tony Khan, and has permission to “kick down the forbidden door” and win titles all over the world. So then, Alex wants to know- Andrade stops him there. Alex doesn’t have questions for Andrade. Andrade has a question for him. What is the Death Triangle? He wants the Death Triangle? No, no, but he does want Alex to send them a message. El Idolo is looking for them. Got it? Alex does know Penta El Zero M personally, but what business does El Idolo have with Penta, PAC and even Rey Fenix?
FTW Championship: Brian Cage VS Ricky Starks!
Team Taz’s #AbsoluteMachines could not agree on simple thing: Is Sting still the Icon? One said yes, the other said no, and that simple crack in the team’s bond has become a canyon! Will Cage keep the title entrusted to him by Taz himself? Or will this absolutely tear the team apart?
Will Hobbs and Hook are ringside, Taz is on commentary, but it isn’t clear whose side they’re one. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is the badder badass in the stable!
Starks and Cage circle, fans fire up and Starks rushes in! Cage dodges, fires off hands and whips, but Starks ducks, hurdles, only to run into a hip toss! Cage gets him up, gorilla presses, and carries Starks around to SLAM him down! Starks gets to a corner, Cage storms up and whip him corner to corner. Starks bounces off buckles, Cage whips him into the other corner, and then back the other way! Starks gets stuck on the top rope, Cage KICKS him again and again! Fans duel as Starks gets crotched! Cage bounces Starks up and down on the ropes, scoops him off, and hits a POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Cage keeps his cool as fans fire up both ways.
Cage runs in, Starks dodges and Cage hits buckles! Starks goes to the apron to KICK Cage in the arm again and again! Starks HOTSHOTS the bad arm and Cage scrambles away. Starks goes up top, leaps, and missile dropkicks! Fans fire up as Starks strikes his pose and AEW goes picture in picture.
Starks drops knees on Cage’s bad arm, then wrenches the arm and twists the wrist. Cage endures as Starks pulls way back, and even bites the fingers! The ref reprimands, Starks stops biting, but then bites again! The ref makes Starks stop, Starks gets Cage up, and Cage CHOPS Starks! Starks CHOPS, Cage CHOPS, it’s a CHOP fight! Starks CHOPS again, Cage goes to a corner, and Starks CLUBS him on the back. Starks digs his elbows in, the ref reprimands and Starks lets off to kick low. Starks CHOPS again, then wraps the arm around rope to hotshot it again! Starks runs side to side to BOOT Cage in the side! Starks again wraps the bad arm around ropes and pulls!
The ref reprimands, Starks lets off, but Cage blocks the whip. Starks uppercuts the bad arm, CHOPS Cage, but Cage CHOPS back! Cage whips Starks now, Starks gets around to roll Cage up, TWO! Starks ends up sent to the apron! Cage storms over but Starks ROCKS him with a forearm! Starks climbs up again, leaps, but into Cage’s arms! Cage uses just one arm to bicep curl Starks! Starks feels humiliated but Cage uses both arms to pop him up! Starks makes that a CRUCIFIX DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Cage survives but Starks grits his teeth. Starks tackles Cage into ropes, whips him across the way, but Cage runs Starks right over! Starks flops out of the ring, but Cage pursues!
Starks grabs the FTW belt, Cage kicks him low! Cage bumps Starks off the apron, picks up the belt, puts it aside, and then gets Starks through a corner. Starks pulls but Cage blocks, to pull Starks into the post instead! Cage whips Starks at a post, but Starks slips through the corner and comes back around to CLOBBER Cage! Fans fire up again as Starks hobbles after Cage. Starks puts Cage in, Cage gets to a corner, “Ricky’s Awesome!” as Starks runs in. Cage puts Starks on the apron but Starks gets a SLEEPER! Cage drags Starks into the ring to RAM him into buckles! Cage is free to uppercut, GAMANGIRI, and then GERM- NO! Starks holds ropes and elbows Cage back!
Starks gets free, but Cage gets him for a PUMP-HANDLE DRIVER!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!!! Starks saves himself by mere inches! Cage scowls as he gets Starks up, fireman’s carries, but Starks fights free! Starks headlocks, uses the ropes, tornado but no DDT! SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO! Starks survives and fans are dueling again as Starks gets to the apron. Cage climbs up the corner, drags Starks up, “Who Betta?!” Cage gets Starks up but Starks slips around to CLUB Cage, get under him, and LAST RIDE POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!?! Cage survives and shocks everyone! “This is Awesome!” as Starks grabs for the FTW belt! But Hobbs stops him?! That shocks Starks most of all!
Cage is up, he scoops Starks, and F5!! Cover, TWO?!?! How did Starks survive?! Cage says he’s gonna finish this, and Starks gets up. Hook distracts the ref! Starks dodges Cage’s discus, and Hobbs CLOCKS him with the belt?!? Starks SPEARS Cage!! Cover, Starks wins!!!
Winner: Ricky Starks, by pinfall (NEW FTW Champion)
Powerhouse Hobbs tricked Cage into thinking he was keeping this clean! Taz embraces his new champion, and this must mean Cage is OUT! Will the Machine come back to get revenge on those he thought were his friends?
Cody Rhodes storms out to commentary.
He gets a headset and calls out formerly known as Tommy End, now Malakai Black. “A phone call would’ve sufficed! Absolutely would’ve sufficed! You’ve got the size, stature, real kickboxing experience and chip on your shoulder that would’ve been great here. I understand wanting to be a franchise player by beating a franchise player, but here’s what we don’t do! We don’t kick a 62-year-old man in the face where he can’t get up! That’s what we don’t do!” Cody isn’t sure he’s getting his point across, he needs a live mic! Cody gets off commentary to get the mic and go to the ramp. Fans cheer as he says he’s feeling boisterous tonight.
Cody knows he doesn’t win every fight he’s in, but he sure as hell has a better of chance when he knows it’s coming! And this might be an abuse of power, but Cody hopes Tommy/Malakai answers this call! This is FYTER FEST, so he feels like fighting! But Malakai answers via titantron. “I applause you standing up for yourself, Cody. Those fans last week? They didn’t. Did you hear them when I kicked you and Arn in the face? Did you hear them cheer? You know why? Because they’re violent, Cody. They don’t care about you as much as you care about them.”
Malakai says he once saw a man kill a horse. He walked up to the man and asked him why. With a tremble in his voice and tears down his face, the man said that this was his prized stallion, the one that took him all over the world and won him titles. One day, the man woke up and the stallion wasn’t the same as he had since he was young. The wear and tear of competition made the horse crippled. The man knew the one thing he could do was have the horse die with dignity. The man took the horse out to its favorite pasture, fed the horse its favorite treats, and then put a bag over its head before, well… And so here we are, Cody.
When Malakai looked at Cody and Arn in the eyes, “it just wasn’t there anymore, Cody.” Oh it wasn’t there? Then how about coming here and taking a better look!? Malakai was hoping Cody would say that. The lights go out, and when they come back up… Malakai is in the ring!! Cody goes after him and they brawl! Fans are losing their minds but referees and security rush out to stop this! Fans want to “Let Them Fight!” but Malakai laughs as Cody is shouting at him. Malakai says he’s in Cody’s head, but when will these two get to be in the ring and have it out?
Backstage interview with Tully Blanchard.
Alex Marvez congratulates him on The Pinnacle’s big win last week, but notes how he took a cheap shot on Konnan after the match. Tully says that wasn’t cheap, but then Santana and Ortiz find him and laugh. Santana says Tully’s got the biggest target on his back now. And Tully decided to be a smartass and walked the halls alone. Ortiz says this is awful. PNP grab Tully, and dare him to have that same energy. Santana has a crowbar! Santana reels back, but doesn’t smack Tully, just pokes him. It was a fake crowbar, but next time it won’t be. They were taught to respect their elders. PNP spare Tully and tell him to get his boys. Tully promises he will, and they can just wait for it! Is this far from over between The Pinnacle’s FTR and the Inner Circle’s Proud ‘n’ Powerful?
Tony Schiavone is in the ring.
Schiavone says here in Texas for Fyter Fest night one, we’ve heard a lot of talk about the world champion. But we’re going to hear from a man who’s taking the fight to the Elite, it’s Hangman Adam Page! Hangman is here and Texas fires up! Hangman goes to the ring, and Schiavone wants to talk about the AEW World Champion, Kenny Omega. They were face to face last week, this is definitely one the fans want to see. Hangman says that since literally day one, Hangman said he wanted to be AEW World Champion. He came so close that he could smell it, feel it on his fingertips, but then he failed.
Hangman tried to run from it, hide from it, but the Dark Order is ride, Hangman still needs that title! So Hangman is here tonight to challenge for- “Oh no you’re not here to do anything!” Don Callis bellows as he walks out with Gallows, the Young Bucks, Brandon Cutler filming it all, and taking his time waving at the fans, Kenny Omega. Hangman isn’t doing anything but talking. And Callis believes they’re here in Texas, so that means all hat and no cattle. Hangman looks in the mirror and knows he’s not that guy! Nick says Hangman isn’t that guy. Gallows agrees, Hangman is not that guy! #CowboyDOWN. Matt says he’ll say something right to Hangman’s face.
Matt struts to the ring in his strange looking romp-him, and asks if Hangman remembers The Elite. They were his best friends that he abandoned! It still blows Matt’s mind that Hangman ditched them for a bunch of losers! And P-U, from the smell on Hangman’s breath, he’s still hitting the bottle. And that fits the narrative perfectly, right? “The sad, lonely drunk cowboy, all by himself in the end!” And the only one to blame for that is Hangman himself! Because let’s face it: Hangman’s the next great wrestling tragedy! Yeah, how does that make Hangman feel? He doesn’t have the balls to hit Matt! But then Hangman DECKS him!
Hangman DECKS Nick, DECKS Brandon Cutler, but Kenny Omega, manbun and all, slithers in behind Hangman, belt at the ready! But the DARK ORDER rushes out to run the Elite off! The “losers” are loyal to their friend and Hangman gets the mic back. “Listen, Kenny. I came here tonight for a match, and I’m not leaving without one. And quite frankly, neither are you!” Omega gets a mic and says, “Hey guys, listen! Adam Page wants a match!” Omega says they can do that. Because from the look in Hangman’s eyes, he wants Omega all to himself. Omega will do Hangman one better.
Hangman gets Omega, but why not cue up the goon squad, as well! Hangman’s guys against Omega and The Elite! FIVE ON FIVE, ELIMINATION STYLE!! Hangman laughs but says that’s not the match Hangman wants. If that’s what they have to do to get it, then that’s what they do! And WHEN Hangman’s team wins, not only does he get a shot at the AEW World Championship, but the Dark Order gets a shot at the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!! The fans love that idea but the Elite freaks out! Omega shouts, “You didn’t earn it! You haven’t earned it!” Callis whispers to Omega and Omega likes his idea. Fans chant “Cowboy Sh*t!” and Omega tells them to shut up!
But Omega gets on the apron to tell everyone to back up so he can talk to his old tag partner. Omega gets in Hangman’s face and says he makes a lot of demands for someone not in a position of power. But Omega entertains the idea. But the thing is, The Elite gets nothing in exchange. So Omega has a suggestion: After the Elite beats Team Hangman one by one by one, etc, not only will the Dark Order lose their shot at the tag titles, Hangman loses his shot, too! That’s right! Omega wants Hangman to walk away. Hangman go home to Ma and Pa and tell them about his wins and losses and be proud of what he’s done. But it ends there.
Stop Omega if you’ve heard this one before, “But they say that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. But you also don’t fail, either.” And isn’t that what Hangman’s really afraid of? Failing in front of all these people and in front of the fans all around the world? Omega tells fans to shut up again, and promises he will take an extra measure of pleasure when #CowboyShit turns into “Belt Col-lector! Belt Col-lector!” Fans boo that awful chant. So if Hangman’s cool with all that, so is The Elite. The Dark Order try to tell Hangman it’s alright, but Hangman says the Dark Order does NOT back down from a fight! Omega is ON!!
Fans go nuts, and we have a high stakes 10 Man Tag on the horizon!! It will be all or nothing, can the Anxious Millennial Cowboy and his posse rope themselves some golden tickets?
Backstage interview with Chris Jericho.
Alex Marvez brings up last week’s face to face with MJF, and the stipulations MJF put forward if Jericho wants his rematch with MJF. What are Jericho’s thoughts? Jericho says the “Five Labors of Jericho” are very clever but not surprising. MJF is an intelligent and learned man. Not surprising that MJF uses Greek mythology to get what he wants from Jericho. But if he reads all of the Greek mythos, he’d know that after Hercules bested the Cerberus and the Hydra, Hercules got what he wanted. That is what happens next with Jericho!
Jericho doesn’t care who MJF brings in and puts in front of him. It could be Superman, Black Panther, or even a resurrected Muhammed Ali! Jericho will knock them all out! What MJF doesn’t understand is that Jericho will walk through fire and run across broken glass to get after MJF and ruin his life the way MJF tried to ruin Jericho’s! You wanna talk Greek mythology, Jericho’s the perfect guy for it! Jericho is the GOD OF THUNDER AND WAR! But then Shawn Spears barges in and THROAT CHOPS Jericho! MFJ is here, too, and Spears makes sure Jericho looks at him. MJF takes a seat and says, “Hey, Chris. Haven’t seen you since you cheapshot’d me last week.”
MJF says here’s the deal. Jericho’s first “labor” is next week, and Shawn Spears is his opponent! And the stipulation, thanks for asking, is that Spears can use chairs, but Jericho can’t! MJF then grabs Jericho’s bad arm, and Spears JAMS the chair into it! Good luck, Chris! The Pinnacle leaves Jericho behind, but will Jericho be able to muster a truly Herculean effort to overcome this first hurdle?
Matt Hardy VS Christian Cage!
Big Money Matt actually keeps his Hardy Family Office backstage, he wants to do this himself! He feels he still has Captain Charisma’s number in 1v1 matches, even after all this time. But will Christian change that tonight in Texas as he continues to #OutWorkEveryone?
The bell rings and fans fire up as the two icons stare down. They circle, approach and tie up. Hardy powers Christian to a corner but Christian turns things around. They go across the way, Hardy has Christian in a corner again but Christian turns it back around. They end up on ropes, go around the way, and Christian pushes Hardy through the ropes! They tumble but keep the collar ‘n’ elbow on the outside! Hardy puts Christian against the post, Christian powers Hardy to the railing, then headlocks. Hardy throws body shots, shoves Christian at the apron but Christian slides into the ring. Christian eggs Hardy on, Hardy gets on the apron, and Christian ROCKS Hardy with an uppercut!
Christian slides out and trips Hardy up, Hardy bounces off the apron! Christian RAMS Hardy hard into railing! Hardy is down in a heap and Christian goes to the corner. Fans fire up with Christian as he climbs up to LEAP! SUPER CROSSBODY takes down Hardy! Fans are fired up as both men are down on the outside! Christian gets up, gets Hardy into the ring and then reels him into a REVERSE DDT! Cover, TWO! Hardy lives but Christian bumps him off buckles. Christian throws more uppercuts, climbs up and rains down fists from all sides! Christian gets 10 and lets off, and Hardy flounders to the apron. Christian gets him up but Hardy elbows him!
Hardy puts Christian through the ropes, DRAPING DDT to the steps!! Fans lose their minds as Christian slumps and the ref checks on him. Somehow Christian is okay, and Hardy puts him on the apron to CLUB him with elbows to the chest! Hardy sits Christian up to choke him against the ropes! Hardy lets off, stalks Christian, and he gets Christian up to hit a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Hardy gets Christian up again, but Christian throws body shots! Christian runs but Hardy CLOBBERS him at ropes! Christian flops down, Hardy gets the legs, ROPE GUILLOTINE! Christian gasps, sputters and flails, but Hardy shows no mercy as he puts Christian in a drop zone.
Hardy goes up for an ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!! Somehow, Christian is still in this as AEW goes picture in picture!
Hardy stalks Christian, and mockingly asks the fans, “Him?” Hardy says HE is the legend, and he gets Christian up to throw him hard out of the ring! Hardy goes out to stand on Christian’s head! The ref reprimands, Hardy lets off, and Hardy gets Christian up to scoop and SNAKE EYES off the railing! Hardy refreshes the count, goes back to Christian, and ROCKS him with a haymaker. And again! Christian flounders, Hardy puts him in the ring, and takes his time soaking up the heat from the fans. Hardy gets Christian up, clubs him with elbows, but Christian throws haymakers! Christian runs, but into a sleeper! Hardy squeezes tight, thrashes Christian around, and drags him down to the mat.
Hardy headstands to put pressure on the hold, then drops down to crank back. Christian fights up as fans rally, and he turns, only for Hardy to CLUB him down. Hardy gets Christian up, bumps him off buckles again and again, and again and again, and again and again, all three levels! Christian is in a daze, Hardy soaks up the heat, and then takes a bow. Hardy gets Christian back up, scoops, SLAMS him, and points to the corner. AEW returns to single picture as Hardy hops up, does the pose, but Christian TRIPS him off the ropes! Hardy gets up, Christian ROCKS him, and then Christian stands on hardy at the ropes! Christian slingshots over to ROCK Hardy with an uppercut!
Christian climbs again, and leaps for a FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Hardy sits up in a daze but Christian stalks him. Hardy kicks first, reels Christian in, but NO Twist of Fate as Christian shoves him away! Christian wants to get Rated R as he aims from a corner, but Hardy sends the spear into the corner! Christian stops himself, comes back, and SPEARS! Cover, TWO!! Christian stays fired up, but Hardy begs for mercy? Christian storms over but into a haymaker! Hardy whips Christian out, but Christian stays on the apron! HOTSHOT! Hardy is down, Christian goes up, FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!? Hardy survives another legend’s finish but fans say “This is Awesome!”
Christian gets Hardy up, brings him to a corner, and Christian climbs to reel Hardy in. Hardy fires off hands, Christian hits back, they’re brawling and fans are dueling! Hardy ROCKS Christian, throat chops him, and then climbs up. Hardy clubs away on Christian’s back, climbs up even more, and stands Christian up, for a SUPERPLEX! Hardy crawls to make the cover, TWO!!! Christian survives and fans fire up again! Hardy gets up, gets Christian, but Christian cradles! TWO, and Christian wants the underhooks! Hardy resists the turn, grabs the ref, and LOW BLOW MULE KICKS! The ref didn’t see it, and Hardy gets a TWIST OF FATE!! Cover, TWO!?!?? HOW?!?!
Hardy is furious but the ref says he counted fairly. Christian gets out of the ring, Hardy hurries after, and he brings Christian into underhooks, for the LEECH! Christian falls, the ref says it won’t matter out here, but Hardy lets Christian go! Hardy is leaving Christian for dead as he gets in the ring! The ring count climbs, standard 10 count this time! We’re at 5, then 7! Christian springs alive at 9, and gets in at 9.9!! He fights off a Twist to get the KILLSWITCH!! Cover, Christian wins!!
Winner: Christian Cage, by pinfall
For the first time in either man’s careers, Captain Charisma comes out the winner against Matt Hardy! And as far as AEW, Christian is still undefeated! But now the Hardy Family Office is here, ready to attack, but Jurassic Express rush out to counter them! Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus scare off Private Party and Angelico, but just how will this war between HFO and Christian’s friends finish?
“Let me tell you a story. There was once a man who was rich. He had a hot wife who could do the splits. But the man was lost. He was lost because he wasn’t being himself. He walked out of his house and looked into the void to see what was next. After a few months, a voice from above came and said the man should forgive himself and remember who he was.” That man was full of power and warned everyone that if they had a title, they had a problem. But the man wasn’t a selfish man, he forgave those he destroyed in his path. This mad him God’s Favorite Champion. And this newly remodeled TNT title, now white and green, was Miro’s reward.
So everyone should know that a true champion is willing to defend their title with their lives. Miro is willing to defend his title with yours. He is The Redeemer, Miro. But who will dare step up to perhaps the most brutal and intimidating champion AEW has ever seen?
Schiavone is back in the ring.
Next week at Fyter Fest Night 2 will be the first title defense of you know who! The one and only Britt Baker, DMD! The Doctor walks out with her AEW Women’s World Championship and pyro, but letting Rebel stay in the back because of her bad leg. Britt goes to the ring, and Schiavone notes that Nyla Rose put her through a table. Everyone is concerned for her well-being. Britt says no one needs to worry about her, she’s dealt with multiple tables, ladders, chairs, and even thumbtacks. And do you know what happened? The bleeding stopped, the wounds healed, and Britt came out “the baddest bitch on the block.” If for one second, you see fear in her eyes, you better look again!
But what is daunting for her is keeping Nyla relevant! Imagine winning the world title only to find out your first challenger is Nyla. Britt has Schiavone stop already because she knows what he’ll say. Nyla has beat Britt, multiple times. And Nyla is the top of the food chain again. But Britt’s off the menu, because she’s special order, in a league of her own! Nyla and Vickie Guerrero are watching backstage as Britt says she knows they’re there! So lucky for Vickie, she has a last name that will forever keep her relevant in pro-wrestling! As for her client, not so much. Because Nyla needs the title to have any kind of significance in AEW.
But the title isn’t going anywhere except right back around Britt’s waist, where it belongs. And with this, Britt is the hottest thing in pro-wrestling, but even without it, she is still Dr. Britt Baker, DMD. As for Vickie and Nyla backstage, Vickie says Britt’s days are numbered! Next week, Nyla will get her hands on Britt, and Vickie promises to get the biggest, hottest jalapeno and shove it up Britt’s ass!! Nyla adds that Britt’s been handed everything her whole life! But next week, Nyla hands her the biggest ass whooping of her life! It’ll be world class. And don’t hold Nyla responsible, because it’s just the nature of the beast! Will the Native Beast sink her teeth into Britt and take her down once again?
Jon Moxley speaks.
“I once said myself, one does not beat Lance Archer, one survives Lance Archer. I survived him in Tokyo, and I survived Lance Archer in Jacksonville, and I realized something. He’s never gonna stop. He’s never gonna stop coming after me.” Archer wants to take Moxley down, end his career! But the way Mox looks at it, he gets them before they get him. He is not the hunted but the hunter! There is only ONE Bougie Man in New Japan and AEW, and that is the IWGP US Champion, Jon Moxley! Archer wants Texas Deathmatch II? Then next week, Archer will not only be Texan Born and Bred, but he’ll be Texas DEAD! Challenge accepted, will Fyter Fest burn it down on night two?
Wheeler Yuta w/ Best Friends VS Sammy Guevara!
The Decoder’s Dynamite debut comes off a rough night back at Daily’s Place where he lost to the Hardy Family Office’s South African Submission Specialist, Angelico. But can he have a huge rebound at the expense of the Spanish God? Or will Sammy use Yuta as a springboard to go after the Pinnacle for what they’ve done to Jericho?
The bell rings and the two tie up. Yuta headlocks, Sammy powers out but Yuta runs him over. Things speed up, Sammy hurdles, leaps, and dropkicks Yuta down! Yuta bails out as Sammy kips up. Fans fire up as Sammy aims, but he fakes Yuta out to springboard back and spin to a pose. Yuta gets in as Sammy kips back up and the two go again. Yuta fakes Sammy out to trip him up, and things speed up. Sammy hurdles, Yuta leaps, but Sammy waistlocks. Yuta elbows out, runs in but Sammy hits a HIGH POWERSLAM! And then goes up and up and MOONSAULTS! Yuta moves, Sammy lands on his feet to moonsault again! Yuta still dodges, but Sammy STANDING SHOOTING STARS! Cover, TWO!
Sammy keeps his cool, paces around and goes up a corner. Sammy aims, SHOOTING STARS onto knees! Yuta saves himself, gets to a corner and runs corner to corner to back elbow! Yuta whips corner to corner, Sammy reverses but Yuta goes up and up and missile dropkicks! Yuta kips up and gets Sammy in a waistlock. Sammy resists the lift, throws elbows, but Yuta powers up. Sammy arm-drags free then ROCKS Yuta! Yuta skins the cat to rewind and GERMAN SUPLEX! Sammy flounders, Yuta goes up and up and BIG SPLASHES! Cover, ONE?! Sammy shakes his head and shocks Yuta! Yuta gets Sammy up, throws forearms, but Sammy gets mad!
Sammy and Yuta throw forearm after forearm! Sammy gets the edge, CHOPS away, then whips Yuta to back drop him! Sammy runs in to ram Yuta in the corner, ENZIGURI, then springboard for a double jump FLYING CUTTER!! Torture rack to GO TO HOSPITAL! Cover, Sammy wins!
Winner: Sammy Guevara, by pinfall
The Spanish God gets the victory, but he gives Yuta a show of respect. Will Sammy get after the Chair Man once Jericho is through with him?
Schiavone interviews The Factory.
QT Marshall, Aaron Solow and Nick Comoroto are all here, and Schiavone notes the “tremendous performance” QT had against Cody in the South Beach Strap Match. QT stops him there to ask why Schiavone has attitude. Two weeks ago, Schiavone couldn’t wait to tell everyone how QT pinned the American Nightmare in the ring. Is Schiavone feeding into the crap everyone spews? Is he thinking QT got buried by the golden shovel Cody holds? He ought to pour Solow’s drink right on Schiavone’s head. But he won’t, he’s just kidding. No, wait, he will. Schiavone is upset but QT dares him to hit him. He doesn’t, and The Factory leaves. Will they continue to taunt, troll and bully everyone they can until they get payback on the Nightmare Family?
Penelope Ford VS Yuka Sakazaki!
The Superbad Girl and the Wrestling Magical Girl have both had great returns to AEW action, but now they collide on the road to the top of the rankings! Will Texas be feeling superbad or magical tonight?
The bell rings and Ford ties right up with Yuka. Yuka arm-drags Ford, then again. Ford staggers up into a headlock, but she powers out. Yuka ducks the clothesline to get a waistlock. Ford switches but Yuka resists the lift to whip Ford. Ford reverses, Yuka boots from the corner and then goes up the ropes. Yuka boots Ford again, goes to the top and then cartwheels to avoid Ford. Things keep moving, Yuka dropkicks Ford out of the ring! Fans fire up as Ford staggers and fumes around the way. Ford refreshes the count, Yuka builds speed and goes up, up and LEAPS to CANNONBALL! Direct hit and down goes Ford! Fans cheer as Yuka gets Ford up and back in the ring.
Yuka hurries to cover, ONE! Ford kicks low, she throws Yuka into the ropes and chokes her on the ropes! The ref counts, Ford lets off at 4 as she smiles in the camera, and AEW goes picture in picture as Ford YANKS Yuka into the ropes!
Yuka sputters and Ford “apologizes” to the ref, before she dropkicks Yuka in the back! Cover, TWO! Yuka gets to a corner, Ford handsprings corner to corner to back elbow! Ford keeps going, side to side to BOOT Yuka down! Ford gets Yuka up, waistlocks, and GERMAN SUPLEXES! Yuka flounders to the other corner, Ford smirks as she takes her time getting up. Yuka is on the apron, Ford TRIANGLE JUMP KNEE DROPS! Fans fire up as Ford blows a kiss, and then Ford RAMS Yuka into railing, face first! Yuka flounders, Ford CLUBS her down, then brings her up to put back in the ring. Ford covers, TWO! Ford grows annoyed but she pushes Yuka around as AEW goes to break.
AEW returns and Yuka trades forearms with Ford! Fans duel as they go back and forth, and Yuka ROCKS Ford. Yuka runs but Ford fireman’s carries! Yuka fights free, spins Ford around and suplexes for a stalling SLAM! The Magical Girl has power, too! Yuka gets Ford up, snapmare rolls and KICKS her down! Yuka runs to SLIDING FOREARM! Cover, TWO!! Ford survives but Yuka keeps her focus. Ford goes to a corner, Yuka runs in corner to corner, and Yuka GAMANGIRIS! Ford staggers, Yuka goes up, and Yuka leaps for a FLYING ELBOW! Cover, TWO! Yuka keeps on Ford by wrenching to a hammerlock, but Ford CLUBS Yuka before the suplex!
Ford BOOTS Yuka, then BOOTS her down! Cover, TWO! Yuka survives but Ford gets her up, only for Yuka to ROCK her with a right! Yuka hammerlocks and lifts, to spin and spin and spin, into the FACEBUSTER! Ford is in the drop zone now, and Yuka goes to the apron! Yuka climbs the ropes for the MAGICAL GIRL SPLASH! Cover, Yuka wins!
Winner: Yuka Sakazaki, by pinfall
That was superbad for Ford, but it was great for Yuka-chan! Will this mean the Magical Girl will be flying up the rankings to get closer to a title opportunity?
BREAKING NEWS! There’s more to the Fyter Fest Night 2 card!
Not only will there be the AEW Women’s World Championship match of Britt Baker VS Nyla Rose, but AEW has decided to give Moxley and Archer what they want! Texas Deathmatch II WILL happen, but who will survive? Plus, the first of the Five Labors of Jericho, where Shawn Spears can use chairs but Jericho must obey the rules, and a rematch between Orange Cassidy and The Blade! So many grudge matches, everything really IS bigger in Texas!
Coffin Match: Darby Allin VS Ethan Page!
One is Relentless, the other is All Ego. But this has escalated from being personal to being downright dangerous! AEW prospects are the somber pallbearers as they bring the classically shaped casket to the ring, and the inscription on it reads, “Nothing’s over till you’re underground.” Who puts the final nail in the other’s coffin in this career defining and career shortening showdown?
The second Darby’s in the ring, he body blocks Ethan in the corner! The bell rings, Darby hits another body block! Fans fire up as Darby takes off his jacket to reveal he’s wearing a steel plate on his back! No wonder those attacks had more impact! Darby runs and springboards, FLYING COFFIN DROP! Ethan flounders and falls out of the ring, Darby takes the plate off to run and DIVE! Direct hit with that tope suicida body check and Ethan hits railing! Darby snarls as he goes to the coffin and opens it up! Surprise, it’s a Scorpio Sky in the box! He DECKS Darby, while having a black rose in his mouth! Seems the Men of the Year had something up their proverbial sleeves all along!
Scorpio drags Darby up and whips him hard at the steel steps! Darby tries to leap over it but he still clips his knee and tumbles! But here comes STIIIIIIING! The Icon kicks Scorpio, kicks him again, but Scorpio knees Sting low! Scorpio whips but Sting reverses and sends Scorpio into the railing! Fans are loving it as Sting whips Scorpio around and around the same corner of the railing, and then over the railing! Sting chases Scorpio through the crowd, they brawl, and Sting smacks Scorpio off more railing Sting runs in, but Scorpio moves, Stinger Splash hits barriers! Meanwhile, Ethan is using a tool to undo one of the bottom rope’s corners!
Scorpio goes up onto the barrier, mocks Sting, but then Sting trips him up! Scorpio lands on his stinger! Sting then SMACKS Scorpio with a trash can! Scorpio scrambles away, but gets hit with the trash can again! Ethan has undone the bottom rope, runs at Darby, but is sent up and over the railing! Ethan hits the floor right in front of AEW Jesus and AEW goes picture in picture.
Darby leaps the railing to go after Ethan! Darby fires off crossface haymakers while being a backpack, but Ethan RAMS Darby into the barriers! Ethan gets Darby up to throw him over this barrier, and Darby slowly gets up as Ethan breaks a fan’s Darby sign. Ethan stalks Darby up the bleachers, throws forearms, and then scoops him, only for Darby to slip off! Darby shoves Ethan into the side of the stairs, then climbs up and LEAPS from the balcony! But Ethan catches Darby to RAM him into the side! And then the other side! And he puts Darby through the hand rail to BEND him back against the steel bar! Darby flails and flaps, Ethan lets off and lets Darby slump down.
Ethan soaks up the heat from the fans all around him, stalks Darby back down the stairs, and then gorilla presses him to carry him all the way back, and TOSSES him to the ground level!! Ethan snarls as he stalks Darby back towards ringside. Ethan takes aim, runs in, and BOOTS Darby back over the railing! Ethan moves the steel steps around, gets them up, and then into the ring! This is why he took the bottom rope off on one side! Ethan gets Darby in the ring, positions the steps, and while fans rally up for Darby, Ethan pops Darby up to DROP him on the steps! Darby falls back into a corner, Ethan grins as the fans boo.
Ethan runs in at Darby but Darby boots him! Darby hops up and leaps, into a SHOULDER TACKLE from Ethan! Ethan grabs the crossbar he took from the corner, and admires the hook! He kisses the hook, and then hooks it into Darby’s necklace! Darby tries to get away, but Ethan YANKS him right down! The necklace breaks and Darby sputters, and Ethan just mocks Darby’s pain. Darby crawls, fans chant, “F YOU ETHAN! F YOU ETHAN!” Ethan gets Darby up and aims for the coffin, but Darby JAMS Ethan with the crossbar! Ethan is down, and Darby hooks his mouth with the hook!! Talk about catching a big mouth bass!
Darby lets off on the hook, lines up the steel steps, and runs to dropkick the steps into Ethan! Ethan tumbles into the coffin! But Darby has to shut it on him! Darby hurries over, gets on the apron, but Ethan drags Darby into the coffin with him! They brawl inside the coffin! Ethan ROCKS Darby, Darby ROCKS Ethan, repeat! Darby gets the edge but Ethan bumps him off the apron! Ethan stands up, choke grips and ROCKS Darby again! Ethan ROCKS Darby with these slapping haymakers! Fans are thunderous for Darby and Darby BITES Ethan’s fingers! Darby runs but Ethan back drops him out of the coffin! Ethan hurries out, a cut on his forehead starting to bleed.
Ethan puts Darby back in the ring, stalks up behind him, and repositions the steps. Ethan gets Darby up, brings him over with a fireman’s carry, and he climbs the steps. Darby fights free, shoves Ethan off the steps, to then THROWBACK STUNNER! Ethan falls back onto the steps, Darby climbs up a corner! Darby aims but Ethan trips him up! Ethan gets up, lifts Darby in the crucifix, SUPER EGO’S EDGE onto the steel steps!!! Darby falls off the steps as he writhes and fans lose their minds again! “This is Awesome!” but far from over as Ethan drags Darby over. Ethan gets Darby up on the apron, suplexes, but Darby slips around to RAKE the eyes!! Darby BITES the nose!
Darby lets off, and Ethan is still on the apron. Darby gets his skateboard back, climbs up top with it, and leaps for a SKATEBOARD STOMP onto Ethan’s back! Ethan falls into the casket, and Darby CLOSES it! Darby wins!!
Winner: Darby Allin
The coffin didn’t drop but it has been shut on All Ego! But Darby doesn’t seem satisfied with this. He drags the coffin around to line it up with the corner!? Darby climbs up, because he wants to SUPER COFFIN DROP through the lid!!! Is the feud finally over for the Relentless and the Men of the Year? Or is nothing is over ’til you’re in the ground?
Another great night for AEW and a great start to Fyter Fest! Opening with the IWGP US Championship was great, it was a lot of fun with Kingston and Gallows brawling on the outside for a minute, and while Anderson didn’t win, he did remind us that he is a very good singles wrestler. Moxley and Archer reviving their feud again is great, as is bringing things back to their NJPW Texas Deathmatch. That match being added to Fyter Fest Night 2 is great, that match can definitely raise the quality of night 2 all on its own. Speaking of night 2, Britt VS Nyla is going to be great, too, and everyone involved there had really good promos, but I am still confident Britt retains. Even though she’s still technically Heel, fans are really behind her so that alone is why she’s retaining.
Now, we did get these somewhat filler matches in Sammy VS Yuta and Ford VS Yuka. Both were very good matches, even though Yuka and Ford seemed to take a second to synch up the pace. Yuka getting the win is great, AEW is building the relationship with their partners, and Yuka could freshen up the rankings with a few more big wins. Sammy naturally gets the win because he’s from Texas, he’s the more experienced and well-known guy, and he has to keep momentum if he’s to go after Shawn Spears and The Pinnacle. And while Jericho recycled a lot of his promo from last week for tonight, MJF and Spears attacking was a good way of establishing the first “labor of Jericho.”
We got quite a lot of other interview promos tonight, too. Andrade showing interest in Death Triangle is very intriguing. Does he want to join them? Fight them? I’m leaning towards the latter because we’d get some awesome matches out of them in some AAA-in-AEW samplers. Tully being semi-jumped by PNP was great, but I was kinda hoping it was Konnan himself getting Tully with a madball sock. Maybe we can get that in whatever rematch we’ll have of FTR and PNP. And the Factory really just established they’re sore losers and bullies, and leaves us wondering if they’re moving on from the Nightmare Family or just going down to lower tier members now that Cody is busy with Malakai Aleister Black.
Speaking of, Cody had a good sorta double promo. He gave a promo one way on commentary then did it another way on the live mic. What was most impressive was how smooth it was for Malakai to go from titantron to in the ring. That titantron video had to be a recording, but Cody played off it so smoothly that you’d think it was a live feed. Then Malakai is in the ring, he brawls with Cody, they’re going to have a great match either at Fight for the Fallen or All Out, I just hope Malakai wins. Cody’s certainly built himself up in his own corner of the AEW universe, him putting Malakai over would be best overall as far as I’m concerned.
The FTW Championship was a very good match, especially for it being Starks’ return. Commentary said he didn’t have ring rust but I feel like there was some, such as the hip toss being a bit sloppy. But he did get right back into things, and they did a great double swerve that tricked me, too. Hobbs took the belt from Starks so he couldn’t hit Cage with it, making it seem like they were going the opposite way, i.e. Team Taz keeping Cage. But instead, it went as expected as Hobbs hits Cage and Starks wins. Starks is champion, Cage is out of the team, and I’m looking forward to how this story continues. Cage VS Hobbs should definitely happen before a rematch, that’d be great stuff.
Miro redesigning the belt was a given but I thought it’d have a new name. No, just a new look. I think the TNT Championship is going to make history as the most redesigned title in the shortest amount of time. The white belt does look good but the green seems oddly glaring on it. Why not keep the “championship” banner red? Anyway, I can’t wait to see who takes it off him and then recolors it per their colors. The segment with Hangman, Dark Order, Omega and the Elite was all great stuff, and I love that they’re going with how I felt it was going. Hangman is ready to go for the world title, Uno & Stu can get after the tag titles, all at the same time, and a TEN MAN Elimination tag match is going to be amazing. Maybe that’s on Fight for the Fallen so that all those title matches happen at All Out.
Hardy VS Christian was a very good match, especially because they chose to not overbook this and let it be just 1v1. Of course Christian wins, though, that’s just how everything in AEW has been building, and acknowledging their past against each other (without naming WWE, mind you) was exactly what they should’ve done. HFO rushing out there, and then Jurassic Express showing up, also all what they should’ve done. I’m ready for that big team match, especially since Cassidy VS Blade is happening at Fyter Fest night 2 next week and could bring everyone back out there again.
The Coffin Match was awesome stuff! I wondered why Darby didn’t just make his entrance in the coffin, but then we got Scorpio springing out of it and that was great. Sting going after Scorpio was natural, and I hope this means those two have a 1v1 grudge match of some kind. There was a lot of creativity in the spots, from using that entire bleacher area on that one side to undoing the bottom rope so they could get those beefy steps they use in the ring. Darby wins, of course, because he’ll be done with Ethan and then Sting can get past Scorpio, but I do love that he wasn’t satisfied until he used a Coffin Drop on the coffin. Whether or not Hangman beats Omega, I hope Darby is on the outside of the world title scene. Darby could give either man an awesome match come Full Gear 2021.
My Score: 9/10
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Mitchell’s AEW Double or Nothing Results & Report! (5/28/23)
What’re the odds?
Will the Devil of AEW pay for his sins in Sin City?
Double or Nothing raises the stakes on MJF by putting him in a Fatal 4 Way for the AEW World Championship! Will his reign of terror survive a weekend in Las Vegas?
- Buy-In – High Stakes Six Man Tag: Hook & The Hardy Boyz VS Ethan Page & The Gunns; win and
- AEW International Blackjack Battle Royal: ??? wins and
- AEW TNT Championship Ladder Match: Wardlow VS Christian Cage w/ Luchasaurus; wins and
- AEW TBS Championship: Jade Cargill VS Taya Valkyrie; wins and
- AEW Women’s World Championship: Jamie Hayter w/ Britt Baker & Hikaru Shida VS Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts; wins and
- AEW World Tag Team Championships, Special Referee Mark Briscoe: FTR VS Team Triple J w/ Sonjay Dutt & Satnam Singh; wins and
- AEW World Trios Championships Open House Rules Open Challenge: The House of Black VS ???; win(s) and
- Anarchy in the Arena II: The Elite VS Blackpool Combat Club; win(s).
- Unsanctioned Match, Special Enforcer Sabu: Adam Cole VS Chris Jericho; wins.
- AEW World Championship Fatal 4 Way: MJF VS Sammy Guevara VS “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry VS Darby Allin; wins and
PLAY BY PLAY
[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage of Double or Nothing will begin later tonight]
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Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (5/26/23)
The Acclaimed are on a Rampage!
Get ready to scissor in Sin City!
Just days before Double or Nothing, AEW Rampage sees The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn continue in trios action! Will they be aiming for The House of Black soon enough?
- Six Man Tag: The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn VS La Faccion Ingobernable; The Acclaimed & Billy win.
- Six Man Tag: Ethan Page & The Gunns VS ???; Ethan & The Gunns win.
- Britt Baker & Hikaru Shida VS Nyla Rose & Marina Shafir; Britt & Shida win.
- Best Friends VS Lee Moriarty & “Big Bill” Morrissey; Moriarty & Morrissey win.
PLAY BY PLAY
Six Man Tag: The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn VS La Faccion Ingobernable!
Max Caster, Anthony Bowens & Daddy Ass won the Tres de Mayo Trios Battle Royal over three weeks ago and are still building momentum in the Trios Division. But will they be able to bring down Rush, Dralistico & Preston Vance? Or will LFI make Sin City tranquilo?
But of course, Platinum Max has a diss track! “Acclaimed in the house, we the nicest ever. This is not a game, this is not Fight Forever. Rush, you’re losing your cred. How you gonna fight us with all your pubes on your head? Wait, is this guy from Tijuana, bro? He looks like the dominatrix at the donkey show! We’ll make your crew say adios. Acclaimed here to win this match mas rapido!” Bowens gets the mic to say, “LAAAAS VEGAAAAAS~! The Acclaimed have arrived! SCISSOR ME, DADDY ASS~!” And he does~! But will this be muy bien for The Acclaimed? Or muy malo?
The trios sort out and fans sing “OH~ Scissor Me, Daddy~!” Bowens starts against Dralistico and the two circle. Dralistico copies the conducting of the choir, and even offers the scissor finger. Bowens goes to accept but Dralistico kicks low! Dralistoco CHOPS, CHOPS and CHOPS! But Bowens turns things around to CHOP, CHOP and CHOP! Dralistico CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS, but Bowens CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Bowens whips, Dralistico goes up and over and then ducks ‘n’ dodges to RANA! Bowens comes back with a mule kick, front kick, and KOTARO KRUSHER! Fans fire up because “EVERYONE Loves The Acclaimed!”
But Dralistico gets away and tags in Perro Peligroso. Bowens tags in Caster, and The Dangerous Dog circles with Platinum Max. They tie up, Vance headlocks, and Caster powers up and out. Vance runs Caster over, mocks the scissors, then runs. Caster drops, hurdles, then arm-drags! Caster has Vance’s arm and thrusts with it! Then Caster clamps the armlock, but Vance fights up to ROCK him with a forearm! Vance whips, Caster ducks ‘n’ dodges, and leaps, but into Vance’s arms! Vance FALL AWAY SLAMS Caster towards his corner! Billy tags in and fans fire up! Billy is a big man, just like Vance.
Billy takes off the brand new “I ♥ 2 Scissor” shirt, and shows off the DADDY ABS! Billy raises the hands, calling for a test of strength. Vance goes to oblige, but then Billy tells him “SUCK IT!” Fans fire up but Vance CHOPS Billy! Vance tells Billy to “SUCK IT!” then runs, but into a scoop! Billy carries Vance around, to FALL AWAY SLAM! What Vance can do, Billy can do better! Billy scoops and SLAMS Vance, tags Bowens in, but then Rush rushes in to ROCK Billy! Dralistico attacks Bowens and Caster, the LFI turn things around as they throw out Billy and Bowens. Billy is sent into the steps! Bowens and Caster are sent into railing!
Fans rally for The Acclaimed but the LFI all stomp away on Caster in the ring. The LFI mock the scissors, and then just flip off Caster before raising the LFI fists. Fans boo while Rampage goes picture in picture.
The LFI mug Caster more, then Rush CHOPS him in a corner. Dralistico CHOPS Caster, and then Vance stands Caster back up to CHOP him, too! LFI double whip Caster corner to corner, Dralistico runs in to SPLASH, and then Vance runs in to clothesline! Rush powers up, runs, and jumps just to BOOT Caster! Rush rolls back to tranquilo while the rest of LFI raise the fists. Fans rally for The Acclaimed while Vance bumps Caster off buckles. Vance then runs to BOOT Bowens! Rush drags Caster out, throws body shots, and then he and Dralistico put Caster back in for Vance. Vance then sends Caster back out to them, to send into railing!
Fans boo, the ref reprimands, but then LFI brawls with The Acclaimed on the outside! Rampage returns to single picture as fans chant “REF YOU SUCK!” Billy is sent into railing, and Dralistico dumps Bowens over into the front row! Vance keeps on Caster while Dralistico HEADBUTTS Bowens while he’s sitting on a fan’s lap! The fans help Bowens get up, Vance drags Caster up and tags in Dralistico. Dralistico CHOPS, then throws forearm after forearm. Dralistico goes side to side for a SUPERKICK! Dralistico lounges up top and the fans boo. Dralistico drags Caster up to whip but Caster blocks!
Dralistico CHOPS Caster, has him in an open corner, and he whips Caster corner to corner again. Caster dodges the splash! Dralistico rushes back after Caster, Caster dodges, and they DOUBLE LARIAT! Both men are down, they crawl for their teams, hot tags to Vance and Billy! Daddy Ass rallies on LFI! He SPLASHES Vance in a corner, brings him out, kicks low and, well, “SUCK IT!” FAMOUSER!! Cover, but Jose helps with the ropebreak! Fans boo, they know the truth! Jose mocks the scissor fingers while celebrating his antics. But Caster tosses Jose in! Billy drags Jose up while Caster RAMS Dralistico into railing!
Bowens RAMS Rush into railing on the other side, then goes to the corner. Billy scoop SLAMS Jose into position! Bowens is up top, SCISSOR ME TIMBERS! Jose flounders out of the ring, and the fans fire up as The Acclaimed- NO, Rush & Dralistico drag Caster & Bowens out of the ring! Billy swings on Vance but he dodges, to DISCUS LARIAT!! Cover, Caster breaks it! Caster says Billy but Rush CLOBBERS Caster! Billy is in the corner, Rush stomps him! Fans boo, but El Toro Blanco says “When you mess with the bull,” only to turn around into Bowens’ Five Tool Strike Fest! SUPERKICK!!
Rush bails out, but Dralistico springboards in, FLYING CODE BREAKER! Dralistico drags Bowens up, but Bowens wrenches and clinches, THE ARRIVAL! Caster hurries, he tags in off Billy and climbs up! MIC DROP!! Cover, The Acclaimed win!!
Winners: The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn, by pinfall
A fast ‘n’ furious battle, and Daddy Ass and his boys make it through! Bowens gets the mic to say, “How we doin’ tonight, Vegas?” Fans cheer, they’re doing great! “The Acclaimed & Daddy Ass, we feel the exact same way, because we’ve been running through this Trios Division all month long! And seeing as though we are in Vegas, I think we should do some gambling. What do you say?” Bowens says that if Vegas is gonna gamble, maybe Sunday night, remember this: The House always wins, but never bet on Black! Because EVERYONE LOVES THE ACCLAIMED! Bowens, Caster & Billy call out Malakai, Brody & Buddy, will the scissors cut down the House of Black?
Six Man Tag: Ethan Page & The Gunns VS ???
From one trios match to another, All Ego & The Ass Boys are taking on The Hardy Party at Double or Nothing, with Ethan’s contract on the line! Will Ethan, Austin & Colten be rolling into Sunday to exact revenge on Matt & Jeff?
The trios sort out, Austin starts against ??? and the two circle. Ethan & Colten distract ???, and Austin CLOBBERS him! Austin swaggers, then tags in Colten. Colten drags ??? up, puts him in the corner and stomps away on him! The ref counts, Colten lets off to tell her to shut up! Tag to Austin, Austin stomps a mudhole now, but the ref counts again. Austin lets off and shouts, then tags Colten back in. The Gunns whip, body shot, knee lift, and then LARIAT! Fans boo but the Gunns soak it up. Colten says if Ethan wants some, here he goes. Tag to Ethan and he soaks up the heat while trotting around ???
Ethan stomps ??? then brings him up, only to get a JAWBREAKER! Hot tag to 222! The Gunns jump in but Austin misses, Colten gets a BOOT, and then Austin gets a haymaker! 222 throws more heavy hands, but then Ethan BOOTS him down! Fans boo as Ethan looms over 222 and shouts, “Are you kidding me?” The Gunns take care of ??? and 333 by throwing them into the railing! Ethan puts 222 up, crosses the arms, ICONOCLASM! And then he and the Gunns get 222 up, feed to the 3:10 TO YUMA!! Cover, Ethan & The Gunns win!
Winners: Ethan Page & The Gunns, by pinfall
Ethan isn’t done, either, he wants a mic! A mic is given, and Ethan says he wants to talk to the “bozos” in Vegas. “Shut up, you basic ass civilians.” Ethan doesn’t care if anyone here was watching, he wants The Hardy Boyz to have been watching. Because if so, they just saw what a REAL three man crew, a REAL trio, can do! A REAL team! And on Sunday, guess we won’t find out what the Hardy Party can do because these three took out Kassidy! FOR GOOD! So it is clearly going to be 3v2 now. But wait, here come the Hardy Boys! Fans fire up as Matt & Jeff are on stage, and Jeff has a mic of his own!
Jeff says, “The Ass Boys are looking good out here on Rampage with a boost of ego. This Sunday, the Egos will be DELETED, compliments of us.” Matt tells Ethan that his contract and his ass will belong to Matt now! If they have to fight 3v2, they’re not afraid to. Because to them, fear is only a four letter word. Wait, Kassidy is here with a neck brace? Ethan mocks them to come on down, and Austin mocks the moaning and squealing. Kassidy says unfortunately, the doctor did not clear him to compete. However… He found a replacement. It’s HOOK!! The Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil did help Hardy Party in the Firm Deletion, so he has returned to help them again!
Fans fire up as Hook follows the Hardy Boys to the ring, and that sends Ethan & The Gunns running! Will the remnants of The Firm be torn down once and for all now that Kassidy has #SentHook?
Backstage interview with Naturally Limitless.
Lexi Nair is with Keith Lee & Dustin Rhodes, and we all know things have been heating up between them and the now Mogul Embassy. It has just been announced that Swerve Strickland and Brian Cage are both in the Blackjack Battle Royal, as are they. What does that mean for them? Imagine that, huh? Swerve and Cage in a battle royal. So after Keith & Dustin eliminate them, because this is all for the International Championship, then Keith & Dustin can just eliminate everyone else and then make a decision on who wins it all. Dustin is confident he and Keith can come to an agreement.
But Swerve and Cage, you know it’s heated. You know it’s coming. Be ready. Keith adds that if the Embassy is in this, then he can’t wait! Keith heads out, and Dustin hopes Swerve saw that. Will nothing stop Keith & Dustin settling things with Swerve’s House this Sunday?
Britt Baker & Hikaru Shida VS Nyla Rose & Marina Shafir!
While The Doctor & The Full Metal Warrior couldn’t put away the Outcasts, they are sticking together in this ongoing battle of AEW Homegrowns and everyone else. Will these former AEW Women’s World Champions prove they are still a formidable team? Or will the Vicious Vixens be a major problem for them?
The teams sort out, Shida starts against Nyla as no strangers to each other. They circle, and then Nyla kicks low and CLUBS Shida on the back! Nyla bumps Shida off buckles, then tags in Marina. The Vixens double whip, but Shida ducks the double ax handles to shove Marina into Nyla, and then shove them both into a corner! Shida runs corner to corner to KNEE them both down! Shida then snap suplexes Marina onto Nyla! Fans fire up with Shida and she points to Britt. Fans fire up as Shida tags in Britt! Britt fires off on Marina, but Marina shoves her back. Britt dodges, comes back, SLINGBLADE! Cover, TWO!
Britt keeps on Marina with hammering elbows, then she wraps on a chinlock. Britt brings Marina up but Marina blocks the suplex. Britt powers up and still suplexes Marina up and over! Cover, TWO! Britt brings Marin up, ROCKS her, and then whips her to ropes. Marina reverses to CHOP and BOOT Britt down! Marina scowls, storms up on Britt, and tags in Nyla. The Vixens mug Britt in the corner, and Nyla CHOKES Britt on the ropes! Nyla laughs right into the corner camera before she lets go at 4. Fans boo as Nyla stands on Britt and Rampage goes picture in picture.
Nyla lets off as the ref counts, and then Nyla drags Britt up. Nyla scoops Britt to SLAM her down, then she soaks up the heat. Nyla stomps Britt, drags her up, and scoops to SLAM her again! Nyla mocks the “D! M! D!” and then stalks Britt to scoop her again. Britt slips off, but Nyla choke grips her for a CHOKE SLAM! Cover, TWO! Marina and Shida shout at each other, and Nyla brings Britt up to CLUB her on the back. Nyla bumps Britt off buckles, tags Marina, and Marina fires off body shots! Marina kicks Britt’s legs out, then tags Nyla back in. The Vixens drag Britt up to whip her hard into the corner!
Marina whips Nyla in to SPLASH! And then Nyla feeds Britt to Marina’s BOOT! Marina taunts Shida, clamps onto Britt with an armlock, and she grinds Britt down. Britt endures, reaches out, throws slapping hands on Marina, but then Marina whips Britt back into the corner! Nyla tags back in, the Vixens mug Britt more, and Nyla RAMS Britt in the corner! And again! And again! Nyla sits Britt down, digs her boot in, and mockingly counts along with the ref before letting off at 4. Nyla snapmares, clamps claws onto Britt’s shoulders, and Rampage goes to break.
Rampage returns and the Vixens double whip Britt into their corner again! Marina sends Nyla in but Britt avoids the splash! Marina hurries after Britt, misses, and she stubs a toe on the ropes! Gotta be careful going barefoot! Hot tag to Shida! Shida dodges Marina, ENZIGURIS her down, then rolls to SHOTEI Nyla! Marina throws a forearm, but Shida throws a flurry in return! Fans fire up with Shida as she just hammers away on Marina! Marina staggers around, swings, but Shida DECKS her! Shida puts Marina in a corner, climbs up, and Shida rains down more fists! The fans count along and Shida gets all the way to TEN!
Shida roars, brings Marina out with a kick, and then adjusts up top to MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Shida tags Britt then runs to ROCK Nyla! Britt brings Marina up, TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! Cover, but Nyla scoop SLAMS Shida onto it! Nyla is mad and she hoists Britt up. Nyla hangs Britt out to dry, then goes to the corner! Nyla climbs, aims, but Shida saves her from the knee! Nyla runs back in, but Shida & Britt dump her out hard! And then a METEORA to the floor wipes the Native Beast out! Britt has a glove, she spells it out, “D! M! D!” But Marina CHOPS, KICKS and KICKS! But Britt dodges to SUPERKICK!
Britt hurries to ripcord and- NO, Marina gets around to ripcord and SAYANAGI! Cover, TWO into a ghost pin! TWO into the RINGS OF SATURN! Shida is in, KATANA puts Marina into the LOCK JAW!! Marina is OUT, the ref calls it! Britt & Shida win!
Winners: Britt Baker & Hikaru Shida, by submission
A hard fought victory for the Doctor and the Warrior! But wait, The Outcasts are on the tron! And they’re all shaking their heads but smirking as they stand over JAMIE HAYTER! They went after her backstage! Shida & Britt hurry to the back but the damage has been done! Will Hayter be able to defend the AEW Women’s World Championship after this?
Mark Henry welcomes us back to Rampage.
“Tonight, ahead of the Blackjack Battle Royal, Lee Moriarty & Big Bill take on Best Friends. Let’s see which team comes out on top. Well, it looks like there’s been enough talk. It’s TIME for the main event!” Will Trent Beretta & Chuck Taylor have the hot hand going into the International Championship match? Or will #TAIGASTYLE and the human skyscraper make bust them already?
Best Friends VS Lee Moriarty & “Big Bill” Morrissey!
As Best Friends make their entrance, we see their best amigos, Bandido, Komander and even The Lucha Brothers all watching from the front row. They’re all going to be in the battle royal, too, and well, look at that. It would seem The Superbad Squad and the Varsity Athletes had the same idea. They’re all together in one section watching this in person, too.
Anyway, the teams sort out and Moriarty starts against Chuck. They circle, Chuck does some drop steps, and then the two tie up. Chuck waistlocks, wrenches an arm, then wristlocks. Moriarty works on the escape, but Chuck cranks the wrist. Moriarty stomps a leg, rolls and kips up to then arm-drag free. Chuck backs off and Moriarty does his dance. Fans boo but Bill cheers. Trent tags in and he circles with Moriarty. They tie up, Moriarty gets around to a waistlock but Trent switches. Moriarty switches back, Trent switches again, but Moriarty elbows free and hits a headlock takeover.
Trent headscissors, Moriarty kips free and hits another headlock takeover. Trent headscissors again, Moriarty kips free again, and fans cheer the standoff. Moriarty does his dance and fans boo again. Moriarty claps at Trent, but Trent offers a handshake. Moriarty accepts, but he sees the cheap shot coming! Trent laughs it off, but Moriarty rakes the eyes! Moriarty CHOPS Trent to ropes, whips him, but Trent reverses. Chuck hits Moriarty, but Moriarty DECKS him! But then Trent CLOBBERS Moriarty! Fans fire up with Trent and he brings Moriarty up. Trent CHOPS Moriarty down, then tags Chuck.
Best Friends double whip Moriarty to a corner, then Trent sends Chuck in to clothesline! Trent runs in to ELBOW! Trent brings Moriarty out, Best Friends double suplex! They both flex on Morrissey, then SLAM Moriarty down! Fans cheer but Big Bill runs in! He breaks the double clothesline to DOUBLE LARIAT the Best Friends! Bill clotheslines Chuck out, then he whips Trent corner to corner hard! Trent tumbles up and out and Bill paces. Best Friends are down while Rampage goes picture in picture.
Bill goes out to stomp Trent around, then stalks Trent. Bill rains down fists on Trent, but Chuck is after Moriarty! Chuck whips but Moriarty reverses to send Chuck into railing! Bill drags Trent up, ROCKS him, and Moriarty puts Chuck in the ring. Moriarty drags Chuck up, UPPERCUTS him, and then CHOKES him on the ropes! The ref counts, Moriarty lets off, and he distracts the ref so Bill can BOOT Chuck down! Moriarty covers, TWO! Moriarty drags Chuck up, the Varsity Athletes and Superbad Squad aren’t impressed with any of this, but Bill tags in. Bill throws body shots, the Lucha Brothers cheer Chuck on.
Bill digs his boot in, but steps off as the ref counts, and Moriarty CHOKES Chuck now! Trent protests but Moriarty scurries away. Bill soaks up the heat from Vegas, then he DECKS Chuck! Bill drags Chuck up, ROCKS him again, then tags in Moriarty. They mug Chuck, stomp away on him, and the ref counts. Moriarty lets off and roars, then goes back to Chuck. Moriarty drags Chuck up to wrench an arm into an ELBOW BREAKER! Moriarty snapmares Chuck, wraps him up, but Chuck fights the straitjacket. Moriarty turns Chuck over and hammerlocks an arm, to then SNAP LOCK it!
Chuck endures, even as Moriarty bridges over! Moriarty then goes back around to SNAP LOCK the arm again! Chuck endures, Moriarty bridges again, and then SNAP LOCKS a third time! Chuck manages to sit up, he throws some elbows, and he gets free! Only for Moriarty to DECK Trent with a cheap shot! Moriarty CLUBS Chuck, brings him around and tosses him out! The ref is distracted with Moriarty and Bill goes over to run at Chuck. But Chuck dodges, and the big boot from Big Bill gets stuck on the railing! That’s not good for Little Willie! Rampage returns to single picture and Moriarty rushes out! Chuck dodges and slides in, to hot tag Trent!
Fans fire up as Trent gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX Moriarty! And then GERMAN SUPLEX again! And HALF ‘N’ HALF SUPLEX! Fans fire up while Moriarty flops out of the ring. Trent builds speed to DIVE, but into Big Bill’s big hands! APRON CHOKE SLAM!! The Lucha Amigos all wince from that and Trent flops to the floor. Bill drags Trent up, puts him in the ring, and then he tags in. Bill runs in at Trent, but Trent dodges the splash! Bill hits buckles and maybe even post! Trent half nelsons but Bill elbows free, only to get a SEXY CHUCKIE KNEE! Trent then reels Bill back in, SOLE FOOD HALF ‘N’ HALF!!
Fans fire up with Best Friends, and Best Friends HUG! You GOT to give the people what they want! Trent then drags Bill up while Chuck climbs the corner. But Moriarty CLUBS Chuck down off the corner! Bill turns Alabama Lift into Canadian Rack, but Trent slips free! Trent runs, but into the BIG BOSS MAN SLAM!! Fans fire up from that feat of strength, and Bill tags Moriarty. They haul Trent up, Bill full nelsons and Moriarty gets the legs, NARAKU!! Cover off the full nelson swinging bomb, but Chuck breaks it!! Fans fire up as Best Friends survive! Moriarty drags Chuck up to TOSS him! Tag to Bill and they go back to Trent.
Moriarty wants Bill to go to the corner and Bill climbs up. Moriarty brings Trent up, but Chuck anchors Bill! Trent sends Moriarty into Little Willie! Moriarty flops out of the ring, and Best Friends fire off hands on Bill! They adjust Bill’s position up there, then climb up after him! DOUBLE SUPERPLEX!! Trent crawls to the cover, TWO!!! Bill survives and the Varsity Athletes are amused. The Lucha Amigos rally for Trent & Chuck as Chuck reels Bill in. But Moriarty slides in to claw Chuck’s eyes! The ref reprimands but Trent whips Moriarty. Moriarty reverses to send Trent out and then BOOT him down!
But Chuck kicks Moriarty and reels him in! AWFUL WAFFLE!! But Bill BOOTS Chuck!! Bill choke grips, and SKYSCRAPER CHOKE SLAMS him!! Cover, Bill & Moriarty win!
Winners: Lee Moriarty & “Big Bill” Morrissey, by pinfall
Moriarty & Morrissey stand tall, but this was in tag team action. The battle royal is every man for himself, will it come down to these two at the end? Wait, they go up to the Lucha Amigos to talk some trash, and Bandido gives thumbs down right to their faces. Bill shoves Bandido, so Bandido throws a forearm! Moriarty goes after Bandido, the Lucha Brothers go after Moriarty and Bill! And then Butcher, Blade, Kip, and the Varsity Athletes join in! People are sent into railing, and the Varsity Athletes mug Trent in the ring! Sterling tells them to keep going, but here comes ORANGE CASSIDY himself!
The Freshly Squeezed International Champion is here, he runs the Varsity Athletes off swinging his backpack, but the other entrants are still brawling it out on the outside! Cassidy shows off the prize, but here comes THE MACHINE! Brian Cage storms his way down to the ring, but here comes KEITH LEE! He and Dustin Rhodes storm their way down to the ring, and they add a lot of beef to the brawl! Naturally Limitless mugs Cage, the Varsity Athletes still mug Trent, and Cassidy just looks around at the chaos. But then “Whose House? SWERVE’S HOUSE!” Swerve is here in person, but he doesn’t seem in any rush to save Cage.
Keith eyes Swerve from the ramp, but Dustin still throws hands on Cage. Keith storms up after Swerve, but Swerve laughs and dares him to follow backstage. Cage turns things around on Dustin, all the other teams keep beating on each other! If this is how it is to close Rampage, how much wilder will it get when the title is on the line?
A really good Rampage for the go-home of Double or Nothing, and obviously since we didn’t see the traditional pre-battle-royal brawl on Dynamite, of course we saw it here to close the show. The main event tag match was great stuff, and what a great surprise that Best Friends didn’t win! The go-home math now says Moriarty & Morrissey aren’t winning, though I would love if one of them did have a belt. Honestly, they’re trying to make it seem like Cassidy is going to retain the title, since almost everyone else in the battle royal either A) has a feud going already or B) just isn’t at midcard champion level yet.
For example, Swerve & Cage VS Keith & Dustin. We should’ve had some kind of blowoff way sooner than this, maybe on a themed Dynamite and in a No Disqualification style match. Same thing for Ricky Starks, Jay White and Juice Robinson being in this match. But that problem goes all the way back to how AEW handled Starks VS Jericho and the Jericho Appreciation Society. In the end, if anyone new is winning this belt, I would actually want it to be Komander. Komander is still with AAA, so I would love to see him do a tour of Mexico with the title the same way Pac toured the UK with it to establish that first reign.
Decent squash match from Ethan & Gunns beating those jobbers we never even got the names of, and great promo with Hardy Party to establish a new take on the Six Man Tag. Hook joining is a natural choice given he helped the Hardys against The Firm before, but something about this feels like the same backwards pacing as we’ve seen with Starks. The Hardys should’ve turned the contract control tables on Ethan way before The Firm Deletion, with The Firm Deletion being the blowoff that sends the Hardys and Ethan in different directions. Hook & Hardys will definitely win, and we will get who knows how many months of shenanigans where Matt orders Ethan around.
Really good women’s tag match with Britt & Shida winning, even though there’s nothing to win for women’s tag teams in AEW anymore/right now. But of course The Outcasts attack Hayter 3v1 to put her on the defensive. This go-home math would mean Hayter overcomes the odds because she has Britt & Shida helping against Saraya & Ruby. Personally, I’m hoping Taya Valkyrie beats Jade Cargill for the TBS Championship, so that Jade can then jump up to the world title scene and really just tear into all six ladies. What bigger way to lead into AEW Collision, AEW All In and AEW All Out this Summer than with Jade finally being more than the midcard champion?
And great stuff at the beginning with The Acclaimed VS LFI. I just knew Acclaimed would find a way to win and then call out The House of Black. Apparently House of Black issued an open challenge for Double or Nothing, so The Acclaimed has answered it already. I am curious to know what stipulation The Acclaimed will bring to the Open House, but I really can’t be sure who wins. The House of Black have made the Trios Championships unique from the other titles, and have a growing popularity with the fans, but The Acclaimed are also really popular. This is like how AEW booked themselves into a corner with Hobbs VS Wardlow, and look where that’s gotten Hobbs.
My Score: 8.7/10
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