Eddie Dennis’ machine takes aim at two Big Strong Boys!
The NXT UK pecking order could be due for a makeover! Jinny wants to break Aoife Valkyrie while Symbiosis looks to conquer Moustache Mountain!
- Jordan Devlin VS Tristan Archer; Devlin wins.
- Aoife Valkyrie VS Jinny w/ Joseph Conners; Jinny wins.
- Stevie Turner VS Aleah James; Turner wins.
- Moustache Mountain VS Symbiosis; Moustache Mountain wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Jordan Devlin VS Tristan Archer!
The Irish Ace scoffs at the idea A-Kid can come back so soon from a torn up knee, but he’ll still tune up for the coming 30 Minute Ironman match. Will Tristan Archer be an example to why El Nino Anonimo should just stay away?
The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, Devlin headlocks, Archer powers up and powers out, but Devlin runs him over. Cover, ONE, but Devlin and Archer reset. They circle again, feel out a knuckle lock but Devlin wrenches to wrangle Archer down. Devlin digs his knee into Archer, twists the wrist, but Archer fights up. Archer arm-drags free, Devlin holds onto the arm and has the wristlock again. Archer fights up, wrenches and hits a fireman’s carry takeover, but Devlin keeps the wrist again! BT Sports Studio rallies as Archer fights up, wrenches through, has a wristlock, but Devlin rolls and handsprings through to break free and dropkick Archer down! Devlin hurries to cover, TWO!
Devlin puts Archer on ropes and chokes him! The ref counts, Devlin lets off at 3, and Devlin CHOPS Archer in a corner. Archer staggers but throws body shots and forearms and knees! Devlin BOOTS Archer from a corner, wrenches and whips and CLOBBERS Archer at the rope! Archer sits up in a daze, uses a leg guard to keep Devlin back but Devlin still gets a foot to drag Archer into an elbow drop! Devlin gets Archer on ropes again but Archer throws body shots. Devlin ROCKS Archer, wrenches and reels Archer into a back suplex BACKBREAKER! Archer staggers up, throws body shots again, and ROCKS Devlin with haymakers!
Archer whips corner to corner. Devlin goes up and over and Archer hits buckles. Devlin ROCKS Archer with a EuroUpper! Devlin gets Archer up, throws another EuroUpper and Archer falls over. Devlin wraps on a chinlock, digs his knee into the back, but Archer endures. BT Sports Studio rallies but Devlin drives elbows into Archer’s head! Devlin clamps on hands to wrench the neck but Archer endures again. Archer fights, hitting Devlin’s legs. Archer fights up, throws body shots again, but Devlin ROCKS him with a right! Archer hits back and we have a brawl! Devlin ROCKS Archer and Archer staggers to ropes. Devlin storms over but into a BIG back elbow!
Archer fires up and he clotheslines Devlin! Archer scoops and SLAMS Devlin down, then runs to BACK SENTON onto knees! Devlin runs at Archer but Archer send him up and out! Archer KNEES Devlin in the ropes, then jumps to DRAPING CODE BREAKER! Cover, TWO!! Archer can’t believe Devlin survives! BT Sports Studio fires up as Archer gets Devlin up to a fireman’s carry and GUT- NO! Devlin blocks the leg to HEADBUTT Archer down! Devlin ripcords Archer into DEVLINSIDE! Cover, Devlin wins!
Winner: Jordan Devlin, by pinfall
The Irish Ace gets a mic to say, “Let me tell everyone watching at home through their TV sets a story, a funny little story, in fact it’s a true story.” Earlier today, Johnny Saint calls Devlin into his office and told him how A-Kid wants to take Devlin on in an Ironman match! And here’s the punchline: Saint sanctioned it! Devlin said, “Johnny, that’s fine. But A-Kid’s career is on the line!” Saint said, “No no no, he’s one of the brightest young stars we have here. There’s no way.” But Devlin said Saint misunderstood. If Saint lets “that little Spanish delinquent in the ring with the Irish Ace, then his career IS on the line!”
There’s not one match that is more suited to the Irish Ace than an Ironman match! But speaking of, A-Kid is here! Devlin laughs as A-Kid has to use crutches to make his way to ringside. Devlin dares “Tiny Tim” to join him. Can someone help him up the stairs? He has no ACL to speak of. A-Kid makes it in the ropes and Devlin is struggling to imagine why AK even showed up. What does AK have to say to him? Nothing? Well if they get in the ring for their match, AK will not have these crutches to help him! Devlin kicks one away and says there’s nothing between him and ending AK’s career. So AK better think real hard before taking on the franchise player of NXT UK!
But wait, AK stands on his leg just fine! And then AK DECKS Devlin with a forearm! And fires off more forearms as Devlin gets up! Devlin gest to a corner but AK fires off! Devlin rushes AK but AK gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX him! And dropkick him! Devlin staggers up, AK clotheslines him out of the ring! And then swings with his crutch! Devlin narrowly avoids getting decapitated! AK gets the mic to say, “You thought you could get away with this, huh? You thought you could injure me and break my leg? You failed!” AK is just fine, and next week, there will be an entire 30 minutes of Devlin failing again! Will A-Kid be the one to finally trump the Irish Ace?
The world reacts to the NXT UK Championship being part of TakeOver 36.
Obviously this is big news for both this brand and NXT prime, as the highly anticipated rematch of Walter VS Dragunov will now be in the United States! But Walter says, “Enough of the talk. I come to the point.” When they step into the ring at TakeOver, Walter does it for the greater good, and the love he has for this great sport. Dragunov gets in the ring because he is jealous that he is not in Walter’s position. Walter vows to expose Dragunov, and promises one thing will never change: The Ring General as NXT UK Champion. Will Walter follow through when he and Dragunov meet in the Capital Wrestling Center?
Meiko Satomura meets with the entire NXT UK Women’s Division.
Everyone stands at attention as the Final Boss walks in, except for Blair Davenport. Meiko says, “As your champion, I want everyone to try to challenge me, just like Amale did.” Yeah, yeah, sure. Blair, be more respectful! But then Stevie Turner gets up and starts trouble with Dani Luna. Blair mocks Xia Brookside, Nina Samuels and Isla Dawn sit back and watch the bickering, but Emilia McKenzie heads out. Meiko smiles at the trouble she’s stirred up. Will all this feuding forge strong contenders for the Best in the World to face?
Aoife Valkyrie VS Jinny w/ Joseph Conners!
No longer standing by in the shadows as the Spoiled Princess runs her down, Aoife is ready to fly high above the clouds. But will Jinny prove herself right? Does Aoife have a fragile ego that she can shatter with a defeat?
The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, Aoife wrenches and wrangles Jinny down, but Jinny fights up. Aoife wrenches again and again then clubs the arm! Aoife wrangles Jinny back down, but Jinny fights up. Jinny spins, clubs free and snapmares Aoife, but Aoife has the wristlock and she wrangles Jinny again. Jinny reaches up to catch Aoife in a headscissor, Aoife kips free but Jinny has the wristlock now. Aoife wrenches through, steps in and trips Jinny, but Jinny kicks from below! Jinny runs in at the corner, Aoife goes up and over and sunset flips, TWO! Jinny runs in again but Aoife gets around to hook an arm and bring Jinny down to a mouse trap! TWO, and the two reset.
They tie up, Jinny CLUBS Aoife then pie faces her into a whip. Aoife reverses but Jinny drops to avoid the heel kick! Conners gets on the apron to distract Aoife but Jinny CLUBS Aoife from behind! Jinny throws knees, clamps on a headlock and hits a takeover. Jinny traps an arm but Aoife endures. Aoife fights up, BT Sports Studio rallies, Aoife powers out but Jinny runs her over. Things speed up, Aoife hurdles and sweeps the legs! Aoife runs but Conners messes with the ropes and Aoife falls hard! Jinny stomps Aoife in the corner but the ref counts. Jinny lets off, Conners says, “You asked for this! Now deal with the consequences!”
Jinny gets Aoife up, snapmares and pulls on an arm as she stands on Aoife’s head. Jinny YANKS the arm and Aoife scrambles away. Jinny gets Aoife up to WRING the arm out! Cover, TWO! Jinny gets Aoife up, wrenches the arm around and clamps onto the other for a motorcycle stretch. Aoife endures, fights up, but Jinny turns the hold back onto Aoife! Aoife keeps fighting, she flips through and boots Jinny away! Aoife headbutts Jinny at the ropes, CLUBS her on the back, but Jinny shoves Aoife away. Jinny runs in but into a hip toss! Cover, TWO! Aoife hooks Jinny’s arms up, turns her, O’Conner Bridge but Jinny pulls Aoife’s hair!
The ref reprimands Jinny but Jinny SLAMS Aoife down! Jinny has the SEATED SURFBOARD! Jinny pulls Aoife back, HEEL KICKS Aoife in the back, and pulls hair! The ref reprimands, Aoife turns things over to get the surfboard onto Jinny! Jinny gets the ropebreak, Conners protests, but Aoife lets go at 4. Aoife and Jinny stagger up, and Aoife runs but into a BOOT! Jinny runs but into a haymaker! Aoife swings but Jinny KNEES low! Jinny SLAPS Aoife across the face! Aoife fires up and SLAPS back! And fires off KICKS! Jinny comes back but Aoife CLOBBERS her! Aoife starts to rally and she BOOTS Jinny down! Conners grows worried as Aoife gets Jinny up.
Aoife fireman’s carries but Jinny slips off and CLUBS Aoife in the back! Jinny whips, Aoife reverses and HEEL KICKS Jinny down! Cover, TWO! Jinny survives but Aoife fires up as she runs and ENZIGURIS Jinny to a corner! Aoife climbs up, Conners distracts, and Jinny runs in! Aoife leaps over, dodges and PELES! Aoife gets Jinny back up, roars at Conners and reels Jinny in but Conners gets back on the apron! Aoife DECKS him, but Jinny CLOBBERS Aoife! Ripcord ROLLING LIGER KICK! Cover, Jinny wins!
Winner: Jinny, by pinfall
Give a huge assist to the Spoiled Princess’ Righteous Knight! Thanks to his presence, Jinny knocks Aoife out of the sky! Will Aoife get her payback soon enough?
Joe Coffey speaks on his rematch with Rampage Brown.
“Rampage, you’ve got one victory, and I’ve got one. And nothing’s gonna make me happier than knocking you out.” Coffey squats hundreds of kilograms on his back, rep after rep, because he’s the Iron King and he’s gonna keep coming! Coffey wants to know who is truly the best between him and Rampage. They’re both cut from the cloth of a harder generation, so Coffey will give his absolute everything in this match! At the end of the day, Coffey will take care of business because this is HIS Kingdom!
NXT UK Media catches up with A-Kid.
They wanted to get his thoughts on the Ironman match next week. How is he feeling? He’s feeling great, confident, and in the best shape of his life. And just as he made history as the first-ever Heritage Cup Champion, AK will make history by winning NXT UK’s first Ironman match.
Stevie Turner VS Aleah James!
With Meiko Satomura whipping everyone up into a fighting mood, it’s no wonder the Fourth Dimensional Fighter and the bubbly Essex native want to have it out in the ring! Will Stevie be the future contender for the Final Boss? Or is she already looking past her opponent tonight?
The bell rings and the two stare down before they circle. They tie up, Stevie gets an arm and wrenches to a wristlock. Aleah rolls but Stevie keeps on the wristlock. Aleah tries to pry the hold but Stevie twists the wrist more. Aleah handsprings to wristlock Stevie back, but Stevie pulls hair. Aleah wrenches the wrist more, Stevie spins and breaks free to snapmare. Aleah slips through to get the wristlock back, Stevie breaks free to again snapmare but again Aleah slips through to have the wristlock! Stevie puts Aleah on ropes, the ref counts and Stevie lets off to get a headlock. Aleah drops, pops out the back, and rams shoulders.
Stevie stays up, things speed up, and Aleah handsprings over the dropdown! Stevie swings but Aleah goes Matrix and victory rolls, TWO! Aleah dropkick Stevie down! Aleah gets the arm again, wrenches but Stevie throws Aleah by her hair! The ref reprimands but Stevie stomps Aleah down. Aleah kicks from below but Stevie stomps more! Stevie gets Aleah up, throws back elbows over and over in the corner, but lets off as the ref counts. Stevie scrapes Aleah off the ropes! And then scrapes her boot off Aleah’s face! The ref counts, Stevie stops to run but Aleah dodges the boot to roll up! TWO, and Stevie BOOTS Aleah down! Cover, TWO!
Aleah hits from below but Stevie clubs her. Aleah keeps hitting, Stevie stomps her more, but Aleah throws body shots. Stevie CLUBS Aleah, Aleah shoulders from below and hits a JAWBREAKER! Aleah run sand rallies with big forearms! And a dropkick! Stevie gets to ropes, Aleah fires up and runs in but Stevie dodges. Aleah springboards to crossbody Stevie down! Cover, TWO! Stevie survives but Aleah grabs her legs. Aleah drags Stevie but Stevie boots her away. Stevie is up, Aleah runs in but is sent into buckles! Steven pulls hair to KICK and ELBOW DROP DDT! Stevie fires up as Aleah gets up, 4D COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, Stevie wins!
Winner: Stevie Turner, by pinfall
Stevie gets another win and is ready to defy time and space! But will she be the one to take Meiko to the Fourth Dimension?
NXT UK Media catches up with Dave Mastiff & Jack Starz.
The Bomber and the gatekeeper are preparing for their first tag team match together, and things have been going great. Starz was just showing Mastiff how to be fast. Well alright, then, get going, Starz. Starz runs the ropes, he duck sand dodges and waistlocks Mastiff then leapfrogs, only for Mastiff to run him over. Jack’s quick but Mastiff is immovable. That’s what’s gonna make them great. Will this combination of speed and strength be what takes over the NXT UK Tag Division?
Moustache Mountain VS Symbiosis!
Tyler Bate & Trent Seven reunite to settle the score with Eddie Dennis and his dangerous duo, Primate & Tyson T-Bone! Dennis’ mind is a machine, and his minions are his ammunition, but will they fail to topple the Big Strong Boys?
The teams don’t have time to sort out as Symbiosis jumps Seven & Bate the second they’re in the ring! Symbiosis double whips but Moustache Mountain dodges, and Bate has his NUNCHAKU! T-Bone & Primate bail out, the ref has Bate put the weapon away, and this match finally starts as Seven steps to T-Bone. The bell rings. T-Bone kicks low and CLUBS Seven down! T-Bone whips Seven into a corner but Seven boots back! Seven dodges, CHOPS, but T-Bone headlocks. Seven powers out, T-Bone runs him over, but Seven anchors a foot. T-Bone stomps free, runs, but Seven CROSSBODIES! Seven fires up, scoops and SLAMS T-Bone, to then run and leg drop, brother! Cover, ONE!!
Seven keeps on T-Bone and brings him over, Bate tags in. Seven fireman’s carries for a Wasteland Slam, and Bate goes up to knee-board senton! Cover, TWO! Bate headbutts T-Bone, wrenches an arm, clubs the arm, rams a shoulder, then headlocks. Bate smacks T-Bone with his boot, wrenches through and tags Seven back in. T-Bone pushes Bate away but Seven is after the arm. T-Bone puts Seven on ropes, the ref counts, and T-Bone lets off, but Dennis swipes at Seven! Seven still sees T-Bone’s sucker punch coming, and he gets around it to ripcord! T-Bone grabs ropes, Primate tags in, and then T-Bone HOTSHOTS Seven!
T-Bone holds Seven out, Primate hits DOUBLE AX HANDLES to a draping Seven! Dennis laughs as Seven flops down. Primate gets Seven up, throws haymakers, and Seven falls as he reaches out to Bate. Primate shoves and ROCKS Seven in the back, then brings Seven back up. Buckle bump and tag to T-Bone, Symbiosis mugs Seven in their corner. T-Bone brings Seven out but Seven throws hands. T-Bone knees low, whips Seven back in hard, and Seven falls over after hitting buckles. T-Bone gets Seven up, Seven throws hands again and he even hits Primate! Seven BOOTS T-Bone, ROCKS Primate, repeat! But T-Bone lifts Seven up to SPINEBUSTER!
Dennis coaches his team, Primate tags in and T-Bone CATAPULTS Seven! Seven is ready and he blocks Primate’s shot, but Primate dodges the retaliation to ROCK Seven after all! Seven falls back against T-Bone’s knees, Primate springboards in to AX HANDLE him against those knees! Cover, TWO! Symbiosis grows frustrated but Primate CLUBS Seven. And stomps him! Seven kicks back but Primate stomps Seven and digs the boots in! The ref reprimands, Primate lets off to get Seven up, Seven throws hands but Primate bumps him off buckles. Tag to T-Bone, Symbiosis whips Seven hard into the corner!
Symbiosis then throws Seven by his hair, and pull on the arms for a DOUBLE STOMP! T-Bone covers, TWO! T-Bone clamps onto Seven’s shoulders with claws, but Seven fights up. T-Bone scoops for a BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! T-Bone clamps onto Seven’s shoulders again but Seven endures. BT Sports Studio rallies up, Seven fights and Dennis talks trash. Seven stands up, slips through and CHOPS! And CHOPS! T-Bone kicks a leg out but Seven ENZIGURIS! Both men are down and BT Sports Studio fires up! Seven crawls, T-Bone anchors his feet, but Primate distracts the ref just as Seven ENZIGURIS T-Bone! Dennis trips Bate to deny the tag!
Bate DECKS Dennis and hurries to the corner! T-Bone gets Seven up, Seven dodges, fakes T-Bone out on the chop to CHOP the leg, then hits a DDT! Seven hurries, hot tag to Bate! T-Bone tags Primate but Bate rallies on Primate with fast hands! Bate whips Primate but Primate reverses, only for Bate go boot and KNEE back! Bate goes up to FLYING UPPERCUT! Bate keeps moving, and he EuroUppers! Primate follows but leaps into Bate’s EXPLODER! Bate kips up and BT Sports Studio fires up! Primate kips up?! Bop up, BANG hits! STANDING SHOOTING STAR! Cover, TWO! Primate snarls as he staggers up, into a fireman’s carry, and AIRPLANE SPIN!
T-Bone gets in but gets SMACKED by Primate’s feet! T-Bone staggers, Bate tosses Primate at him! T-Bone catches Primate but Bate dropkicks them both down! Primate and T-Bone flop out of the ring, Seven hurries over to get Primate back in for him. TYLER DRIVER 97!! Cover but T-Bone breaks it! T-Bone sucker punches Seven, gets Primate to Symbiosis’ corner and tags in. Bate boots and KNEES T-Bone, leaps up, but T-Bone catches him for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Dennis is grinning as T-Bone scoops Bate. T-Bone aims, runs, OKLAHOMA STAMPEDE! Tag to Primate, and then T-Bone DIVES to take Seven out!
Primate is up top, FLYING HEADBUTT!! Cover, TWO!?! Bate survives and Primate is shocked! Dennis is furious, Primate argues the count but two is two. Primate gets Bate up, Bate shoves him away but Primate puts Bate on the apron. Bate gets Primate for a head ‘n’ arm triangle in the ropes! T-Bone rushes in but Seven intercepts with haymakers! The ref is busy with Seven and T-Bone, Dennis gets Bate for SEVERN BRIDGE to the barriers!! Dennis feeds Bate into the ring, Primate tags T-Bone, POWEROBMB to FROG SPLASH! Cover, Seven breaks it in time! BT Sports Studio is loving this as Primate tackles Seven out of the ring!
T-Bone tags Primate back in, Symbiosis gets Bate up. T-Bone whips Bate and Primate pops him up, but Bate slips out of the bomb! He dodges the double clothesline to rebound and DOUBLE LARIAT them back! All three men are down but Seven’s on the corner! T-Bone bails out, Bate runs, Seven tags, and Bate FLIES out to wipe out Dennis and T-Bone! Seven gets Primate with a BACK HAND, then ripcords and SEVEN STAR LARIAT! Cover, TWO!?! Primate survives and shocks Seven! Bate returns, tags back in, Seven gets Primate up in the torture rack! FLYING KNEE BIRMINGHAMMER!! Cover, Moustache Mountain wins!
Winners: Moustache Mountain, by pinfall
Dennis is furious, but Bate & Seven survive Symbiosis. But wait, the NXT UK Tag Team Champion, Pretty Deadly, walk out on stage! Lewis Howley & Sam Stoker applaud Moustache Mountain’s victory, if not a bit sarcastically. But will the Big Strong Boy and Artful Dodger make these two show respect by taking those titles from them?
A very good episode for NXT UK, with a good promo from Walter to keep up the hype for the NXT UK Championship match at TakeOver 36. We also got a good promo from Joe Coffey to keep things going towards his match with Rampage Brown, and a good promo from Mastiff and Starz to set up their tag team debut. I’m sure Starz & Mastiff start their long journey to the tag titles, but I wonder if it’s Pretty Deadly who has them by then. Moustache Mountain VS Symbiosis had a great match but maybe with one false finish too many. Moustache Mountain VS Pretty Deadly is going to be a great match, but I can’t be sure how that one turns out.
Devlin had a good opening match with Archer, but I’m a little surprised at how things went with A-Kid. A-Kid walking out there was definitely to set up his leg being just fine, but I guess this is to create a layer of savvy in A-Kid’s character that he tricked Devlin into thinking he was hurt. Their Ironman match is going to be great stuff next week, but it could go either way with Devlin winning his match tonight but AK getting the better of him right after. Jinny VS Aoife was good, even with Conners giving Jinny an assist. For that reason, of course Jinny wins, but I hope we get a series of matches out of this.
Then I really liked how Meiko stirred up the locker room, and each woman’s response to it tells a lot about each of them. Blair doesn’t think Meiko is that great, Dani and Aleah do and want Blair to be respectful, Stevie starts a fight with them, and that’s one of the matches we got tonight. A very good match from Stevie and Aleah, but Stevie still winning makes sense, she came into NXT UK pretty hot and is going to build some momentum of her own. Millie McKenzie leaving the room shows she’s the most serious about that challenge from Meiko, she might be the first to challenge Meiko in a great student VS teacher story.
My Score: 8.2/10
NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.187 ~ 29TH SEPTEMBER 2022
Keiji Mutoh continues his Retirement tour and bringing out faces from the past! NOAH has a new champion! Interesting inter-promotional battles on the horizon as well!
Kaito Kiyomiya is the new GHC Heavyweight Champion, nominates Kazuyuki Fujita as challenger
Following provocation by Kenoh not only saying that he was going to be the one to inherit Keiji Mutoh’s Shining Wizard and the memory of Keiji Mutoh himself (and the outright claim that Kiyomiya would simply forget about Mutoh once Mutoh had retired, which Kiyomiya didn’t even bother responding to), Kenoh went one step further at their last pre match on the 19th September by pulling Keiji Mutoh’s pose, kissing his hand, putting it to Kiyomiya’s lips and then exploding it. Kiyomiya erupted in fury at this, it was far more than any verbal provocation of Kenoh’s, which I guess he has learned to ignore over the years. They fought for the GHC Heavyweight in Nagoya on September 25th, with Kiyomiya emerging victorious following a modified Shining Wizard. As Kenoh left it was like a spell was broken. Kenoh went backstage and muttered about Kiyomiya being the company favorite and in his interview the day after winning the title, Kiyomiya said nothing about Keiji Mutoh. Mutoh as we know had been a focus of both Kiyomiya and Kenoh leading up to the title match.
Back in the ring, Kiyomiya called out his next opponent. Kazuyuki Fujita. Fujita came to the ring, carrying a can of beer which he swigged from. Getting in the ring he circled Kiyomiya and took off his t-shirt. Kiyomiya said that he was expecting a fight, but Fujita did something that no other NOAH wrestler had (or perhaps would) do, and that was to throw himself at Kiyomiya and then make nuzzling motions against his head, while he licked the belt. Kiyomiya pushed him off, and Fujita retaliated by pouring beer over his head.
Kiyomiya screaming that he hated beer was met with Fujita toasting him from the ramp and yelling “Kampaiii” (“cheers”) after a fight had broken out, and Kiyomiya threw him from the ring.
Backstage, Kiyomiya said his reason for nominating Kazuyuki Fujita as his challenger was that he had never been defeated for the GHC Heavyweight. Fujita had to give up the belt due to Coronavirus. It has been a recurring theme of most of the GHC Heavyweight champions since Go Shiozaki, that Fujita has been the man to beat in order to cement yourself as champion. Kiyomiya was picking up that torch.
As for Fujita, he played it as if he was a Casanova and had been asked out on a date by warning Kiyomiya that when you experience Fujita, you can never go back because you were never going to be the same. He was going to “make it a night to remember”. He sipped his beer, and licked his lips afterwards.
Title match has been set for NOAH’s return to Ariake on the 30th October.
STINGER lose, NOAH Junior Regulars win, enter Tadasuke (with a chair)
Following a period of brutal attacks on Seiki Yoshioka (by the end of the match he could hardly use one side of his body) and a title challenge where Atsushi Kotoge was bloodied up, The NOAH Junior Regulars emerged victorious and bought the tag titles home to their unit. They had very little time to celebrate their win and put ice on their wounds, when Tadasuke burst in and attacked Atsushi Kotoge with a chair while Hi69 beat up on the already incapacitated Seiki Yoshioka. Tadasuke (wild grin on his face) got on the microphone and made a challenge for the tag titles. Then Tadasuke wiped the blood from Kotoge that had got on his hands on his hair, leaving red streaks in the peroxide. Tadasuke was even waving the bloodied seat of the chair, which had detached during the attack, around backstage.
Title match will be on the 30th October when NOAH return to the Ariake complex.
Takashi Sugiura and Satoshi Kojima, NOAH’s most dysfunctional tag team, win the GHC Heavyweight tag titles
It must be said that with the combined efforts of Satoshi Kojima and Hideki Suzuki, we almost have our Sugi back.
At the press conference/title match signing, Sugi and Kojima appeared dressed in suits and wearing dark glasses. They looked something between The Men In Black and “Dangerous Detectives” (as Tokyo Sports called them which stems from a Japanese TV show). Hideki Suzuki was on form, not only mistranslating Timothy Thatcher and stating at one point that Thatcher said he came to Japan to “beat you up” and being rude to a journalist for being overfamiliar with his “punk mouth”, the highlight of the press conference was his long close up stare at Sugi, who was trying not to laugh.
The dysfunctional team won the titles in Nagoya on the 25th September, and despite their falling out during the match, Sugi actually gave Kojima a proper handshake. Then they went back to squabbling backstage over Kojima talking on the mic when it was Sugi who got the win. No challengers have come forward as of yet.
HAYATA retains the GHC Junior, Ninja Mack makes his long awaited challenge
It had been an emotional match for YO-HEY, and for fans. Cutting out the aerial techniques that had characterized their earlier matches, both he and HAYATA demonstrated how much they had both evolved by concentrating on a more NOAH based ground attack with submissions. YO-HEY might have failed in the challenge, but he had at least gotten one win over HAYATA in the pre-match. He knew the title match would be different and he would need to level up, and afterwards he reflected and said he would start from rock bottom in order to make his next challenge. What fans had noticed that while things had changed between them, some things were the same, such as YO-HEY coloring his hair, his tongue (and even his boxer shorts) purple, which is HAYATA’s color, and HAYATA not speaking as much as he has done in previous title challenges, as he is content to let YO-HEY talk. After the match, Ninja Mack came to challenge. HAYATA accepted by saying, that he was “finally interested in the belt” and acknowledging him as challenger. Title match will of course be on the 30th October. But HAYATA is not immediately going into a fallout match with Ninja Mack at NOAH’s next event on the 30th, but is having a tag match against YO-HEY.
Keiji Mutoh’s Retirement Road
Keiji Mutoh has been very busy.
– 23rd September: Great Muta appears in AEW
The Great Muta made a surprise appearance in AEW to rescue Sting, who had been tied to a chair by Darby Allen. Muta came to the ring, advanced on Sting and then turned and spat green mist into the face of Allen and then reunited with Sting. Keiji Mutoh announced that Sting would attend Muta’s retirement on the 22nd in Yokohama, but has not said in what capacity, although it is assumed that they will tag. Regarding any further appearances in America, Mutoh said he didn’t think it was likely, but did warn that The Great Muta may pop up somewhere as you never knew where he would turn up next.
– 25th September: Keiji Mutoh Retirement Road: Love Forever 2
Keiji Mutoh teamed with his junior Kazuyuki Fujita to take on Mutoh’s classmate, Masakatsu Funaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima, who Mutoh has known since he was a boy, and still calls affectionately “Katsuhiko”. Nakajima said he was going to break up this class reunion, and while Mutoh did get kicked (Nakajima smirked and said it was fun when Mutoh later complained his leg still hurt) but it was Fujita who got the worst of it. During the match, Nakajima pulled out Mutoh’s Space Rolling Elbow. Mutoh was initially not pleased, but then he became very happy to see it and said that he thought that “Katsuhiko” did it because he had some small measure of feeling for him. I think had Nakajima been a more acrobatic wrestler, Mutoh might have handed it to him. Mutoh won the match with The Shining Wizard, pinning Nakajima. This was Mutoh’s farewell to Nagoya, his classmate, his junior and Nakajima.
– 26th September: Hiroshi Tanahashi comes to the press conference and a tag match is announced
Hiroshi Tanahashi presented 38 roses to Mutoh when he came to the press conference. Each rose symbolizes a year of Mutoh’s career. Mutoh joked that he should have laid them at his feet, as had happened in boxing recently. Tanahashi said he wasn’t good at ad-libbing, and then introduced himself as “one of the greatest New Japan talents in the past one hundred years”. During the press conference, a tag match was announced. New Japan’s Hiroshi Tanahashi, Togi Makabe and Honma Tomoaki will team together against the team of Naomichi Marufuji, Keiji Mutoh and Keiji Mutoh. This will take place on the 30th October. Mutoh has not given up hope of appearing one final time in the New Japan ring.
– 16th October: A new match is announced
NOAH announced that due to fan demand, Keiji Mutoh will be appearing in Fukuoka. He will tag with Ninja Mack and Satoshi Kojima against Naomichi Marufuji, HAYATA and Jack Morris. Satoshi Kojima is of course connected to Mutoh through All Japan and New Japan, Naomichi Marufuji has wanted a match against Mutoh (he will be tagging with him as we know on the 30th October) and HAYATA has been a big fan of Mutoh for a while, as he has influenced a lot of his style and persona. HAYATA thinks of himself and The Great Muta as “The Phantom Team”. Muta doesn’t like to speak and HAYATA said, neither does he.
Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima head overseas
Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima will appear for Evolution Pro Wrestling in New York for their anniversary show on November 12th. Marufuji’s match is yet to be announced, but Nakajima will take on Josh Alexander. Alexander has said he wonders how Nakajima is going to kick after he snaps his ankle. They will also appear at King of Indies in San Francisco on November 19th.
NOSAWA vs Katsuhiko Nakajima (and Kenoh)
After being beaten up by Katsuhiko Nakajima who gave him some pretty stiff soccerball kicks outside the ring at Korakuen Hall recently, (although he would tell you that Nakajima tried to beat him up), NOSAWA Rongai has been on a quest to face Nakajima in a match. Then he threw in Kenoh, so it could be himself and Eita versus Kongoh. Hideki Suzuki told him that he was probably going to die, but NOSAWA has taken no notice and kept on with his demand. His demand has not been met because rather than facing Nakajima and Kenoh, NOAH have booked him against rookies Yasutaka Yano and Kai Fujimura. NOSAWA thinks he is having to go through some kind of trial.
ELSEWHERE IN NOAH
– Hideki Suzuki has hinted that perhaps Takashi Sugiura might like to get back online.
– Yoshiki Inamura and YO-HEY continued their guild, despite the fact that YO-HEY said someone attacked and burned their castle down. A picture was taken of YO-HEY and Inamura playing the game, with YO-HEY seated cross legged on Inamura, who was doing a bridge in the ring. We have seen Inamura used as a weight, but is he now used as furniture?
– NOAH’s Director, Narihiro Takeda, wrote on a NOAH Note that he would like for Darby Allin to come to NOAH one day.
– Tadasuke got a match thrown out by ripping off Alejandro’s mask. Tadasuke did not care, and did not even respond when Alejandro asked if he wanted a mask for himself?
– Daiki Inaba had his long awaited singles match with Katsuhiko Nakajima, but failed to revenge himself for Nakajima’s behavior in W-1. Nakajima even went for the cocky pin by grinning and leaning on Inaba.
– There was usual chaos at the NOAH Junior Space sessions as Daisuke Harada is not there to take control. Atsushi Kotoge seems to be the main culprit, forgetting to invite Seiki Yoshioka in and at one time even failing to press record.
– It’s probably best that Daiki Inaba, who apparently likes to be in the nip backstage, was not present when NOAH was at Differ. It was bad enough that Sugi used to wander around naked…
– Mitsuharu Misawa wrote in a diary entry for 2006 about filming an advert for THE LEAVE, and having to sing first thing in the morning while they were filming. Probably due to the fact that he had a problem with his throat anyway, was a heavy smoker and had taken “so many chops and kicks” to it in his career, he said he sounded very hoarse.
EVENT RECAPS AND POST MATCH PROMOS
SUNNY VOYAGE – September 19th
N-INNOVATION – September 21st
GRAND SHIP 2022 IN NAGOYA/KEIJI MUTOH RETIREMENT ROAD – September 25th
- GHC Heavyweight Champion: Kaito Kiyomiya
Challenger: Kazuyuki Fujita, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
- GHC Junior Champion: HAYATA
Challenger: Ninja Mack, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
- GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: KojiSugi (Satoshi Kojima & Takashi Sugiura)
- GHC Junior Tag Champions: The NOAH Junior Regulars (Atsushi Kotoge & Seiki Yoshioka)
Challengers: Kongoh Juniors (Tadasuke & Hi69), [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
- GHC National Champion: Masakatsu Funaki
Challenger: Masa Kitamiya, SUNNY VOYAGE 2022 – Friday September 30th (Bandaijima Multi-Purpose Square Ogama)
(This event will not be broadcast live, but hopefully this match will be shown via Instagram)
THIS WEEK IN NOAH
– Friday, October 7th
STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo
Time: 18:30 JST
Broadcast: WrestleUniverse/ABEMA (live)
– Saturday, October 8th
STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo
Time: 18:30 JST
Broadcast: WrestleUniverse (live)
Note about broadcasts
Unless you are living in Japan or have a VPN you know is compatible with ABEMA, please do not subscribe to the service. For fans living outside of Japan, a subscription to WrestleUniverse would be better as they show more NOAH shows than ABEMA, and usually the events get uploaded very quickly. ABEMA broadcasts are only in Japanese, you can only watch them live, and this is the only NOAH they show. They do not broadcast old shows as these belong to Samurai TV.
BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES
Wednesday, 5th October: Keiji Mutoh debut anniversary (38)
Wednesday, 5th October: Seiki Yoshioka debut anniversary (14)
“Taka & Satoshi” reveal a “dangerous detective” look, mischievous Suzuki is a reckless interpreter, the GHC tag signing ceremony is thrown into chaos by bizarre question and answer between the two teams
With thanks to: Metal NOAH
GIF taken from WrestleUniverse & NOAH Official YouTube
Picture credit: YO-HEY & NOAH.co.jp
Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 9.29.2022
Bound for Glory is 8 days away, but Victory Road just happened. What kind of show do we get with some fallout and penultimate hype?
Victory Road just happened, but Bound for Glory is like 8 nights away? You know I forgot that it was such a quick turn around. That makes tonight weird, since there’s some fallout, but then there’s gonna be a lot of table setting for Bound for Glory.
This episode could be awful. The last week or so haven’t exactly set the world afire, so I’m curious if the highlight really is just gonna be the Monster’s Ball with Masha and Allie Katch.
*insert joke about possibly gagging and balls and Swinger’s Dungeon*
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) September 30, 2022
- Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid: Bullet Club win via Finesse & Fold – **
- IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve: Myers retains via Roster Cut – ** 1/2
- Delirious vs Black Taurus: Black Taurus wins via Destination Hellhole – ** 1/4
- PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath: Rich wins via Phoenix Splash – ** 1/4
- Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – *** 1/2
Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid
I don’t think I could care less about this match if I tried. Trey and Laredo are worthless. Laredo has eaten so many terrible losses and Trey is just bad. If the BC Juniors don’t win…I will really question the booking.
My biggest takeaway early is the commentary tries to put over Trey “turning heads”. No he doesn’t, he is legitimately hard to watch and everything that Will Ospreay did wrong in his early career; is basically Trey, but with less personality. Oh did you expect play by play? They isolate Laredo, decent tandem attacks, when Trey comes in it’s bad offense typical Cruiser garbage with laughable facials and body language.
Just typical crap with Trey. Were there some cool high spots? Sure. Do I care? NOPE.
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) September 30, 2022
IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve
Steve starts with some of his quirky mat wrestling, Arm Wringers into Drop Toe Holds and face biting. It shocked Myers early, but he takes a small shortcut and starts trying to slow down the psycho from Decay. Steve bounces off the ropes and Myers does his sliding trip move before commercial.
Back from commercial, Snapmare from Steve and the neck twister into some corner offense of Hip Attacks and Sentons for 2. Myers dodges King Kill 33, lands a few pot shots, Implant DDT for 2. Into the corner, face bite, Upside Down, after the rope break Myers grabs the referee to block Steve. Eye Poke, Roster Cut, AND STILL…
Simple, but entertaining. Plus it continues Myers’ arrogant, full of himself for absolutely no reason persona. Oh and he offers up an Open Challenge for Bound for Glory. Maybe Bobby Fish? Someone new? Could be interesting.
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) September 30, 2022
Delirious vs Black Taurus
Delirious is between gibberish and Stone Cold early on while they’re just trading shots. Delirious twists the Nose Ring…in the mask…and Taurus sells it momentarily before stomping the foot and decking him. This is just a weird match. I mean we all know Delirious is weird, but he’s not all comedy; and Taurus is supposed to be legit-ish.
Admittedly, with the exception of Victory Road, it has been years since I’ve watched a Delirious match. So the level of ridiculousness has hit Toru Yano levels, especially after the 10 count Leg Drops. Taurus powders, comes back in, Shoulder Tackle, Blackhole Backbreaker into a Samoan Drop. As soon as Taurus looks in charge, Delirious throws together a combo, eats a Headbutt and then Destination Hellhole.
Sheesh okay after 2 interview segments we get to Honor No More’s victory celebration segment. Just a lot of talking and inaction, so this just goes to feed that weird feeling I had coming into the show because of the timing. Eddie does the usual thing where hates on PCO and accuses him of being the weak link, which is a smart story angle since the fans tend to like PCO’s gimmick and this makes him more sympathetic to casual observers.
Oh good Taven is talking now. Wait did I just say that? DAMN YOU IMPACT! Made me like Matt Taven. Maria stirs the pot a little saying that Eddie is a better wrestler than Josh and Moose…by the implications.
Thank God, Josh Alexander finally breaks up the segment with…more talking. Okay never mind. Jesus since the end of the Delirious match it was like 15 minutes before Josh finally charged the ring and threw down a bit with Honor No More. Rich Swann and Heath make a bit of the babyface save for Josh, but the numbers are still on Honor No More’s side. Oh MCMG come down in a tracksuit and dress clothes! Someone wasn’t ready to be doing a run in.
PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath
Well isn’t that convenient that four of the men in the donnybrook were supposed to be in a match anyway.
Rich uses his quickness to try and stay ahead of PCO, but PCO cuts him off in the corner into the Corner Hung Codebreaker, then the leaned against the ropes Leg Drop thing. Vincent throws together a T-Bone Suplex into a Flatliner and keeps the vibes flowing on Rich Swann.
PCO clears out Heath, but PCO’s hand gets stuck in the ropes. Vincent eats a flip kick and the Phoenix Splash while PCO and Heath are brawling on the outside after the rope issue with PCO.
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) September 30, 2022
Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch
Haymakers and Headbutts start things off as they both hit the ropes and lay out one another with dual clotheslines. Trash can lid duel, Masha gets first contact, but Allie blocks and returns 3 shots. German Suplex from Masha into whipping her with a chain, some choking and then general pulling with the chain in Katch’s mouth or around her eyes. Katch claws at Masha’s eyes to try and get some space.
Headbutts and Biting from Masha as Allie tries to power out of a Bow and Arrow. More chain choking…I’m not sure if this is a wrestling match or BDSM prep at the moment. Ahh Masha needs more Cowbell but Allie cuts her off with a trash can lid. Allie tries a Piledriver through a door, but Masha turns it into an Air Raid Crash into the opposite corner.
Commercial break, and Allie is getting choked again. Spots get a little redundant, slams, chokes, and blood. OHHH – it’s a “Use the Door” chant. I thought it was – nah – I won’t say what I thought it was. Chairshot from Masha misses, but a Snap Suplex from Masha onto the chair gets some usefulness. Straight Right to the gut and an Axe Kick allows Masha to hit the Death Valley Driver onto the propped up chair. Masha goes back to biting after it was only 2. Allie cuts off Masha going to the top, Superplex onto the trash can lid, into a Death Valley Driver through the door – but Masha kicks out.
Allie tries a Piledriver on the apron a few times, but Masha blocks. Masha tries for the Release German to the floor but Allie holds on. Dazed strikes, bites and then a Russian Leg Sweep through the table lays both out for a short time. Masha grabs a black bag, it’s gotta be tacks for Monster’s Ball. Masha eats a few tacks for good show, picks up Allie but Allie fights. Piledriver into the tacks from Allie, only 2. Allie opens a trash can, and empties a bunch of cut up soda cans. Hits Masha with the can, Masha fires, Spinning Heel Kick and then Russian Death Device into the pile of tacks and cans.
Overall Score: 6.25/10
The main event was pretty good, maybe even a little better than I gave it credit for; I’m just sick of seeing some crazy hardcore match so often from Impact. It feels like its weekly, and that’s too damn much. Trey is terrible, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. He sells poorly, he doesn’t tell a story with his wrestling and he looks like an idiot pretending to be something he isn’t; and that’s talented.
Myers is fine with his classic delusional heel style, Delirious gave a bit of a rub to Taurus so I’m guessing he’s probably next up in the X Division. But a straight 15 minutes of interviews and talking is just too damn much especially when the surrounding wrestling isn’t very good or hearty enough to help people tolerate talking time.
I do however love Joe Hendry. So…yeah. There’s always some quirky gimmicks that just resonate well with me, and this is gorgeous.
All in all, decent enough; though next week could be a real banger of a Go Home.
Cook’s 2022 NFL Picks: Week 4 TNF Edition
Cook chimes in with his look at the NFL Week 4 Thursday Night Football showdown between the surging Miami Dolphins...
Chairshot NFL: Dolphins, Eagles, Raiders and Texans
Join PC Tunney and Rey Cash as they discuss the undefeated and the winless heading into week 4 of NFL...
Cook’s 2022 NFL Gambling Picks: Week 3
Week 3 is upon us! Are Cook's picks going better so far this year?
Down The Wire Episode 85: He Got Suspended for What?
Tom and Dave are back for Down The Wire and have a week of news stemming from Ime Udoka and...
Chairshot NFL: Which 2-0 Teams To Believe In
PC Tunney is back to take you through his picks for week 3 of the NFL season. Which 2-0 teams...
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (9/30/22)
A closer look at Link VS Kage 2
Chairshot Radio: Musical Chairs S2:E6- OK Go & The Offspring 
This week on Musical Chairs, the guys take a look at two more innovative and influential bands. Patrick talks about...
Bandwagon Nerds #150: 150 Episodes of Nerdom
The Bandwagon celebrates 150 episodes of Nerdom this week with the OG Nerds celebrating with you! Join Patrick O’Dowd, David...
Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Sonja – Loud Arriver (2022)
Gothic Hair Metal crawls into the JAR this week! Sonja's full-length debut! How does it fair?
Talk The Keki – An Anime Podcast – Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero Review, Tekken Bloodline & More!
Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero has made some solid numbers in North America. Do Ethan and Mat wish for more...
NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.187 ~ 29TH SEPTEMBER 2022
Keiji Mutoh continues his Retirement tour and bringing out faces from the past! NOAH has a new champion! Interesting inter-promotional...
Mindless Wrestling Podcast: War Games and Blood and Vacation, oh my! #2
Paige is now Saraya & is All Elite! Are you excited? This Mindless bunch breaks down her jump to AEW,...
Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 9.29.2022
Bound for Glory is 8 days away, but Victory Road just happened. What kind of show do we get with...
Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (9/28/22)
There's gold in Philly!
The #Miranda Show: IZW Cooltown Clash 2
Miranda and Greg look back at IZW Cooltown Clash 2, including a fantastic main event, and a return to ring...
Greg DeMarco Show: No One Gets Out Alive (Dave Meltzer, Tony Khan, Bryan Alvarez, and more) + The List of Wrestling Farewells
It's time for another installment of "No One Gets Out Alive" on the Greg DeMarco Show! Plus Greg & Patrick...
Mitchell’s WWE NXT Results & Report! (9/27/22)
Which boys will be on top?
Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (9/27/22)
Universal Studios turns it up to 11!
Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (9/26/22)
Bianca's the readiEST Raw Women's Champion!
Mitchell’s AEW Dark: Elevation Results & Report! (9/26/22)
Arthur Ashe gets Elevated!