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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (7/12/21)

One last night in the ThunderDome!

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Coverage Raw 2021

Raw prepares for Money in the Bank and a return to the road!

Before Raw says hello to Texas, it must say good-bye to the ThunderDome! And they do that with a Women’s Fatal 4 Way, the WWE US Championship and Lashley VS Woods!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Xavier Woods w/ Kofi Kingston; Woods wins.
  • Fatal 4 Way: Asuka VS Naomi VS Alexa Bliss VS Nikki ASH; Nikki wins.
  • AJ Styles w/ Omos VS Ivar w/ Erik; Ivar wins.
  • Omos w/ AJ Styles VS Erik w/ Ivar; Omos wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: Sheamus VS Humberto Carrillo; Sheamus wins and retains the title.
  • Falls Count Anywhere: Ricochet VS John Morrison w/ The Miz; Ricochet wins.
  • Rhea Ripley VS Natalya w/ Tamina; Ripley wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

WWE and Raw mourns the loss of “Mr. Wonderful,” Paul Orndoff.

 

Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Xavier Woods w/ Kofi Kingston!

The All Mighty WWE World Champion may have put a hurting on Woods inside the Cell, but he completely overlooked the ability of The New Day as a team last week! But MVP and the ladies hype Lashley up at gorilla position. MVP is already planning to party in the VIP Lounge after this, but will Woods take advantage of a furious Chief Hurt Officer?

The bell rings and Lashley goes right after Woods! Lashley gets a leg, trips Woods up, then gets him again for a waistlock and SLAM! Lashley taunts Kofi but Woods gets up to waistlock and headlock back. Lashley powers out, Woods slides under and headlocks again. Lashley powers out again, Woods holds ropes and boots him back! Woods runs to kick a leg out, then uses Lashley as a step for a back senton! Cover, TWO! Woods keeps on Lashley with a facelock and he throws in knees. Woods fires off hands, Lashley shoves and scoops Woods to TOSS him out to the floor! Lashley goes out after Woods and stares Kofi down.

Lashley gets Woods up, gorilla press to TOSS at the steel steps! Woods smacks face first off them, and MVP talks trash on Woods while Kofi and Lashley stare down. The Rocky Mountain Machine is rolling as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Lashley fires off hands on Woods in a corner. Lashley RAMS his shoulder in again and again, but lets off as the ref counts 4, so he can run and RAM into Woods again! Woods writhes, the ladies are fired up on the stage, and Lashley puts Woods in another corner. Lashley runs in to RAM Woods again! Woods falls, MVP talks trash and Lashley is fired up, but he runs into buckles! Woods SUPERKICKS Lashley but Lashley stays on his feet! Lashley scoops Woods, but Woods makes it a tornado DDT! Kofi is fired up as Lashley bails out, and Woods grits his teeth as he gets back up. Woods builds speed, to FLY! Direct hit and down goes Lashley!

Kofi is all fired up with Woods and Woods gets Lashley in the ring. Woods gets Lashley up, Lashley holds ropes and Woods loses grip. Lashley puts Woods on the apron but Woods GAMANGIRIS back! Woods climbs, leaps, and missile dropkicks! Cover, TWO! But to a CROSSFACE! The ladies panic but Lashley fights up, and turns crossface to SIDEWALK SLAM! Lashley hobbles and leans against ropes while MVP coaches him up. Lashley snarls as he aims at Woods, and he clamps onto Woods’ face to throw him down! Woods gets up in a daze but Lashley gut wrenches him to a Canadian rack. Woods slips out, but runs into a MILE HIGH SPINEBUSTER!!

Lashley gets Woods up, gut wrench and DOMINATOR! But Lashley won’t end it here, he wants to remind us why he’s leader of the Hurt Business! Lashley hauls Woods up, throws him out, then starts to smile as he brings Woods up again. Fireman’s carry, and Lashley POSTS Woods on the run! Lashley leaves Woods behind just long enough to refresh the count. Lashley puts Woods in the ring, drags him into a corner, and then aims from the other end. Lashley runs in and SPEARS Woods down! But Lashley is still not done making Woods suffer! Lashley looms over Woods as he writhes, drags him back up, but Woods cradle counters, WOODS WINS?!?

Winner: Xavier Woods, by pinfall

Lashley’s arrogance and Woods’ resilience get the biggest upset in ThunderDome history! The All Mighty World Champion is in disbelief! Is this proof that Kofi is right? Is Lashley getting soft under MVP’s guidance? Will Kofi make this happen again at Money in the Bank?!

 

Backstage interview with MVP.

Lashley was seen leaving the building, does MVP have an idea where he’s going? Yes, Lashley has left the building, but it isn’t the big deal they’re making it. Relax, rumor mongers, the champ just needs to blow off some steam. MVP guarantees that Lashley will be back for tonight’s VIP Lounge. Whatever is ailing Lashley can be fixed with some positive vibes and champagne. But is this the night where it all starts to fall apart for the champion?

 

Jinder Mahal again arrives on his motorcycle.

Veer and Shanky are there to greed the Modern Day Maharaja again, and present him with Drew McIntyre’s claymore sword. But will the Scottish Warrior come looking for them?

 

Alexa Bliss smiles.

What an exciting night! She’s facing some of her very best friends in tonight’s Fatal 4 Way, but they ALL get to compete in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match live in front of the WWE Universe! And think about how much fun she could have with the MITB contract? But Eva Marie interrupts to say that while Alexa is excited, was she ever going to introduce her- er, both Eva and “Doudrop” tonight? Yeah, sorry, forgot. Where are Alexa’s manners? Eva and Doudrop, welcome to the Playground! That’s a good name, Doudrop. It’s fun to say! Doudrop, Doudrop, Doudrop. She should try it! Piper Niven says, “Doudrop,” and Eva doesn’t like that she’s having fun.

But anyway, if “Doudrop” could summarize her time on Raw in one word, what would it be? Eva says she has this: #EvaLutionary. All thanks to Eva. Just like last week’s 8 Woman Tag: all because of Eva. Well uh… Alexa wasn’t asking Eva, she was asking Doudrop since Alexa invited her not Eva, but Eva was like a bonus! Uh, that is unacceptable. Eva tells Alexa to look at her. She is the star of Monday Night Raw, the headliner, and this will be the last time she ever steps foot in this dingy, grubby little “playground.” Eva gets up and sees why Alexa only wanted Doudrop. Now, they are going to go because the #EvaLution deserves better.

Piper has no choice but to go and Alexa mocks how “silly” Eva is being. Will Eva learn the world doesn’t revolve around her soon enough?

 

The WWE Best Moment of the Year goes to…

Sasha Banks and Bianca Belair! Their historic SmackDown Women’s Championship match at WrestleMania 37 won an ESPY last night, but will this only be the first of many more accolades for The Boss and the EST?

 

Jinder Mahal heads to the ring!

The Maharaja has Shanky & Veer with him, and surely they have something to say about McIntyre. Will McIntyre have something to say to them? We’ll find out, after the break.

Raw returns and Mahal says he has had time to reflect. He may have taken things too far with McIntyre from taking his family heirloom. McIntyre has taken opportunities from Mahal without remorse, and that is okay. But McIntyre probably hasn’t been able to eat, sleep or train after what Mahal did. Mahal will extend an olive branch, he will apologize and shake hands with McIntyre, then give the sword back. McIntyre, Mahal is trying to do the right thing, so please come on out. Mahal and his proteges wait, but McIntyre responds on the titantron! McIntyre waves hi and asks how Mahal is doing. Mahal is a tough bastard, a decorated champion, but he is also a liar, so cut the BS!

Mahal says he is offended that McIntyre isn’t trusting him! Think of what they’ve been through together. But if this is how it has to be, that’s fine. Mahal had Veer & Shanky take the sword and have it refinished. Behold the new and improved claymore! Wait, it’s BROKEN! Oh no something must’ve happened! McIntyre knew it’d be like this. This is Raw, Mahal can’t show up with a real car or sword and not expect it to get destroyed. That sword was just a replica! What?! But this is the real one! McIntyre pulled one over on Mahal, but that’s not all! Mahal’s motorcycle surely can’t be a replica. Looks a little delicate, though.

McIntyre tugs on the tail pipe until it goes off, and then he SMASHES the face of it! And then the rims, the mirrors, and even the side of the chassis! Mahal is furious but McIntyre says no worries. It’s nothing a little elbow grease can’t fix. Then he kicks the motorcycle over! Will Mahal escalate things further with McIntyre or let this end now?

 

Matt Riddle spots Nikki “Ash” backstage.

Whoa, sweet outfit! It reminds him of this show he used to watch with Randy Orton while having bowls of cereal. It was about a bunch of superheroes who- Wait, is Nikki a superhero? She could just fly up the ladder and win the MITB contract! Nikki says she loves superheroes as much as anyone, but she’s only Almost a Superhero. There’s a difference. So no flying just yet. Oh, Riddle gets it. It’s like this one time, where he wanted to be an astronaut, but they told him he can’t go barefoot in space because no oxygen. And he was like, “Bro, I don’t breathe through my feet.” But the real deal breaker was that he wasn’t at NASA, but at the food court at the mall.

Long story short, he was one happy bro at the end of that field trip, if you know what he means. Not really… But she does know she has her match right now! Time to fly to the ring! Wait, she just said she couldn’t fly. Will Nikki be feeling even higher than Riddle as she looks to take one giant leap towards MITB?

Fatal 4 Way: Asuka VS Naomi VS Alexa Bliss VS Nikki ASH!

Raw returns as Asuka makes her entrance, followed by Naomi, and lastly, Alexa. The bell rings and Naomi dropkicks both Nikki and Asuka out! Naomi RAMS Alexa into a corner, rams her shoulder in more, but Alexa ROCKS her with a forearm! Alexa whips, Naomi reverses but Alexa spiders in the ropes to then CROSSBODY back! Cover, TWO! Asuka gets in to DECK Alexa, but Nikki trips Asuka to a jackknife! TWO, and Naomi whips Nikki. Nikki wheelbarrows to victory roll, TWO! Naomi and Asuka fire off Kicks on Nikki and then double dropkick Nikki out! Naomi and Asuka are friends but they’re ready for every woman for themselves!

Naomi runs, slides under, fires off forearms but Asuka gives them back! Asuka fires off palm strikes and fast hands, but Naomi ducks the backhand! Asuka ducks the kicks, but Naomi ducks one, too! DOUBLE ROUNDHOUSES! Both women go down and Alexa slithers back in. But so does Nikki! Nikki and Alexa both look to the briefcase overhead, and Nikki powers up her fighting spirit! Alexa just smiles, but Nikki won’t let Alexa touch the mask! Alexa choke grips but Nikki fights out to throat chop and dropkick! Wait, Eva Marie and Piper Niven have appeared on the ramp. Eva must still be bitter about earlier, will she make her presence felt momentarily?

Nikki turns around into Naomi’s dropkick! Asuka clotheslines Naomi but Alexa kicks and DDT’s Asuka down! Cover, TWO!! The Empress of Tomorrow toughs it out, but Alexa just smiles and waves. Piper waves back and Eva is annoyed. Alexa slithers out of the ring and Eva shoves Piper at her. Piper says that was a good DDT. Alexa pats Piper on the shoulder, goes right past her, and stares Eva down. Eva is afraid for good reason, and then Alexa roars at her! Piper CLUBS Alexa, swats her around, and then fireman’s carries for a RUNNING TOSS over the barriers! Piper says everything is alright now, and Eva looks to check. Wait, Alexa disappeared?! Eva panics again as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Asuka KICKS Nikki and Naomi back and forth! SLIDING WIZARD for Nikki, but Naomi blocks the buzzsaw! Asuka blocks Naomi’s kick, gets around to waistlock and GERMAN SUPLEX! Naomi ends up in a corner, Asuka hip attacks her down! ROUNDHOUSE for Nikki, then a BULLDOG for Naomi! Cover on Nikki, TWO! Cover on Naomi, TWO! Asuka grits her teeth, keeping her eyes on the two opponents left. Naomi boots but Asuka blocks, only for Naomi to ENZIGURI! And then BUCKLE BULLDOG! Nikki gets up but Naomi fireman’s carries for a TKO! Naomi gets Asuka up to BACK SUPLEX right next to Nikki! Naomi runs to DOUBLE LEGDROP! Cover, TWO!!

Naomi keeps her cool and springboards, only Asuka gets the Flying Chuck! Cover, TWO! Naomi goes after Nikki but Nikki BOOTS her! Nikki goes up, clubs and reels Naomi in, TORNADO DDT! Cover, Asuka breaks it in time! All three women are down, but Nikki rises first. Asuka follows, then Naomi. Nikki dumps Asuka out, dodges Naomi and tilt-o-whirls to a takedown, LA MA- NO! Naomi trips, body scissors, sunsets, TWO! Into the BUTTERFLY STRETCH!! Nikki endures and Asuka gets Naomi with a BUZZSAW! And ARMBAR!! Naomi endures, Nikki jumps and SEATED SENTONS Asuka! All three women are down again as the ThunderDome fires up!

Naomi gets up in one corner, Asuka is in center, and Nikki goes up top! Nikki leaps to CROSSBODY Asuka down! Cover, Naomi breaks it in time! Naomi drags Nikki up, whips, but Nikki reverses. Naomi ends up on the apron but she ROUNDHOUSES Nikki! But Asuka gets Naomi for a DRAPING CODE BREAKER! Nikki gets Asuka in a cradle! Cover, TWO!! Nikki waistlocks, O’Conner Rolls, TWO into the ASUKA LOCK!! Nikki scrambles, gets back and out to body scissor and clutch, NIKKI WINS!

Winner: Nikki ASH, by pinfall

She may not be able to fly, but she is rolling towards MITB! Will her fighting spirit be what helps her reach the top and have her golden ticket?

 

Backstage interview with The Viking Raiders.

Erik & Ivar are ready for their separate 1v1 matches with Styles & Omos, but how are they approaching each of those? Ivar is taking on the arrogant two-time WWE Champion, AJ Styles, who has insulted their way of life! Styles says Vikings are just smelly, barbaric brutes. The truth is, Vikings are some of the most spectacular, rugged and amazing people on the planet! And they have spectacular hygiene. The ladies love Ivar. Tonight, Styles will learn to respect the Viking culture after he gets a phenomenal beating! As for Erik, he has the very, very, very tall task of toppling that colossus, Omos!

Omos would’ve given Bjorn Ironside a fight for the ages, but this is Omos’ first singles match ever! Erik will use this weakness to find a crack in the armor and carve out a victory! Then next week, live in front of the WWE Universe, the Viking Raiders will once again raise those Raw Tag Team Championships above their heads! RAID! RAID! RAID! The battle begins, will Erik & Ivar be rolling into Texas with phenomenal momentum?

AJ Styles w/ Omos VS Ivar w/ Erik!

Raw returns and Styles gets a mic. “Now before the Phenomenal Raw Tag Team Champions put on an absolute clinic, I need to get something off my chest. Ivar, Erik, I said some things about the Vikings that, well, maybe you found offensive. So I wanna apologize. I never should’ve called you guys barbarians. What I should’ve said was that you’re hairy barbarians, uneducated, Salmonella poisoned, infested, never-shoulda-got-off-your-impractical-wooden-boats to come after the Raw Tag Team Champions!”

Styles and Omos like how Styles doubled down, but Styles continues to say, “If you haven’t kept up with what’s going on lately,” well… They’ve been sticking their nose in the champs’ business and cost Styles his chance to be in the MITB match! He was gonna be in it! So tonight, Ivar, Styles will take a leg and break it in the Calf Crusher! Ivar will tap to the Calf Crusher, and after that, Omos will have his first-ever singles match! And Omos will destroy Erik so badly, Erik will wish he never took off that ridiculous horned helmet. And then, at MITB, they will destroy the Viking Raiders limb from limb in their title match, and show everyone why they ARE the Raw Tag Team Champions!

The Viking Raiders finally make their entrance, and the raid begins! The bell rings, Styles fires off on Ivar and whips, but Iva reverses. Styles rolls off Ivar’s back and CHOPS, but Ivar doesn’t flinch! Styles dodges, Ivar rolls off Styles’ back, and styles can’t even understand what happened! Styles kicks but Ivar blocks to ROCK him with uppercuts and haymakers! Ivar has Styles in a corner for more, then lets off as the ref counts. Ivar fires up, goes corner to corner, and BRONCO BUSTERS! Cover, ONE!! Styles gasps but Ivar gets him up to scoop. Styles slips off, waistlocks, but Ivar bucks him away. Ivar runs Styles over with a shoulder!

Ivar runs, but Omos is at the ropes! The ref reprimands, but Styles ENZIGURIS! Styles has Ivar in a corner and stomps a mudhole! The ref counts, Styles lets off and runs corner to corner, but Ivar dodges! Ivar runs but Styles dodges, Styles runs but blocks a boot. He puts the leg on ropes to KICK it, then DDT’s Ivar down! Cover, TWO! Styles is frustrated but he pulls Ivar up by his hair to put on a chinlock. Ivar endures, fights up, and arm-drags free! Then he BACK DROPS Styles high and hard! Styles gets up, Ivar scoops him and SIDEWALK SLAMS! Ivar runs to BASEMENT SPLASH! The War Beard is fired up and he gets Styles up for a suplex.

Styles slips out, shoves, but Ivar cartwheels to LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Styles survives and Ivar grows frustrated, but Erik keeps him focused. Styles goes to a corner, Ivar runs in, but Styles SUPERKICKS! Styles goes out and prepares the arm, but Ivar gets under the springboard so Styles makes it a sunset flip! ONE, and PELE! Ivar falls into a corner, Styles runs back in, but into a SEATED SENTON! Cover, IVAR WINS!

Winner: Ivar, by pinfall

Omos is shocked as much as Styles, and the Viking Raiders go up 1-0! Can Omos uses his first singles match every to tie the series back up? Or are the Viking Raiders going to be rolling into Texas?

 

Omos w/ AJ Styles VS Erik w/ Ivar!

Raw returns and the bell rings on the second match! Erik is ready and he rushes in for a waistlock. But he can’t even get Omos off the mat! Omos THROWS Erik away, and then just stares him down. Erik keeps cool, gets up and Omos eggs him on. Omos swings but Erik dodges to kick the leg! And again! And then he throws forearms! Omos shoves Erik down, but Erik comes back, only for Omos to BOUNCE him off! Erik gets to ropes, Omos gets him up, and Omos whips Erik to then scoop. Omos says it’s too easy, but Erik slips off! Erik gets around, KICKS the legs again, but Omso stays up! Omos corners Erik, but Erik BOOTS him back! And leaps, but into a BEARHUG!

Omos thrashes Erik around but Erik endures! Erik digs his elbow into Omos’ face! Omos lets Erik go, steadies himself, and staggers after Erik. Omos gets Erik for a TOSS! Erik gets to a corner, Omos roars and runs in, but only into buckles! Erik fires off fast hands, runs and forearm smashes! And again! Erik ducks and dodges to SHOTGUN KNEE! Omos staggers, Erik runs again but into a COLOSSAL LARIAT! Omos seethes and roars again as he looms over Erik. Omos says he told Erik this would happen. Styles tells Omos to finish this and Omos nods. Omos drags Erik up with both hands, for a COLOSSAL SLAM!! Cover, Omos wins!

Winner: Omos, by pinfall

First singles match ever, first singles win ever! The teams go into MITB tied, but the tag titles will decide it all! Will the champions still be phenomenal? Or will the raid succeed in taking the gold?

 

Sheamus talks with Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville.

He wants them to save the pleasantries. He knows what they’ve been saying on his voicemails. “Defend your title or there will be consequences.” Do they even care about their superstars? Do they care that his face is still smashed to pieces?! Is this a joke, Sonya? Do you want to laugh at him? He’ll explain that his nose is broken but no one cares! They only want to give the man who did this to him a title match! Well, here Sheamus is, ready to fight. Good. So we’re all on the same page? Yeah, they’re on the same page. Sheamus heads out, but will the Masked Fella humble Humberto and get payback for the busted nose?

 

The New Day is fired up!

And Lucha House Party walks over to congratulate Woods on the win over Lashley. Woods congratulates them over their win against Mace & T-Bar. How is the SummerSlam party coming? They’ve been scouting out great locations, but there’s still work to be done. Good luck at MITB, Kofi! Kofi thanks LHP as they head out, and then Sarah walks in to congratulate Woods on the win over Lashley. Kofi, is this a sign of what’s to come? Kofi rewinds and wants to say it again: Woods just beat the All Mighty WWE Champion, BABYYY~! Speaking of, we heard Lashley has returned to ThunderDome and will go to MVP’s VIP Lounge.

Oh of course he is! Instead of focusing on the upcoming title match, Lashley is going to be with the champagne and ladies. Maybe Kofi should thank MVP for taking Lashley off his A Game! Woods agrees, and can’t understand why Lashley is back after losing to “The video game guy.” But Kofi will beat Lashley to become champion. Kofi doesn’t care what kind of champion Lashley wants to be portrayed as, but this is all mind-blowing! Lashley of all people should know how hard it is to become WWE Champion! It isn’t about the lounges, the parties and all that. It is about being on the best grind, taking on all comers! Kofi did that, because that’s the kind of champ the fans deserve!

Fear not, because those days are about to be upon us again !Kofi is gonna shock the world in front of a live audience when he beats Lashley to become what? A TWO-TIME… W! W! E! World! Heavy! Weight! CHAMPION~! Let’s go! The New Day heads out, but will they be partying even harder after this Sunday?

 

Sheamus attacks Carrillo backstage!

The Fella doesn’t want to let Carrillo have a chance in their title match, so he’s throwing him all around! He tells security to back off and shut up! Sheamus looms over Carrillo as he’s down in the wreckage. Sheamus mockingly says Carrillo is falling asleep on the job! He has the title match next! The Celtic Warrior leaves Carrillo behind and security calls for medical. Will Carrillo be in any shape to fight Sheamus now?

WWE United States Championship: Sheamus VS Humberto Carrillo!

Raw returns as Sheamus makes his entrance to the ring. We check backstage and Carrillo says he NEEDS to compete. Pearce and Sonya don’t question his toughness, but they can push this back a week if they have to. No, Carrillo has been waiting months for this, Sheamus is not going to use this as an excuse! No, he is good enough to stand so he is good enough to fight for the title! Damian Priest helps Carrillo to gorilla but management isn’t so sure. Will Carrillo’s machismo help him make it through?

Carrillo makes it to the ring and the introductions are made. The belt is raised, and though Sheamus has done everything to avoid this, he finally will be a fighting champion!

Carrillo hobbles but falls to his knees! He grits his teeth, gets back up, Sheamus BROGUES him right down!! Cover, Sheamus wins!!

Winner: Sheamus, by pinfall (still WWE United States Champion)

This was one of the shortest matches ever for this title, but only because Sheamus made sure to win it backstage first! But the Celtic Warrior isn’t satisfied because of his busted nose! Sheamus stomps away on Carrillo, then fish hooks Carrillo’s face! Sheamus says Carrillo broke his nose, so he’ll break Carrillo’s! Sheamus stands over Carrillo, foot at the ready, but here comes Damian Priest! Priest gets in the ring, runs Sheamus out of it, and stares him down! Sheamus still declares himself winner, but will the Archer of Infamy look to shoot him down soon enough?

 

Riddle scoots up to Ricochet.

“Pardon me, partner. Didn’t see you in the donger.” No, it’s cool. Wait, is The Bro going to go with him to the ring? Darn tootin’! Well, that’s cool, but Ricochet is excited for Sunday. Same! They’re going to Fort Worth for Money in the Bank! Riddle is gonna make his Western Spaghetti Burritos, with real spaghetti! And then he’ll watch his favorite Western movie- Tombstone? No, Toy Story 2! His favorite part is where the cowboy finds a snake in his boot. It reminds Riddle of Randy. Though Randy isn’t really a snake in Riddle’s boot, more like snake in his heart. Miss you, Randy. Yeah, sure. But Ricochet was more excited about the MITB match.

Oh, right! If Riddle wins, he’ll surprise Orton and cash-in on the Raw Tag Team Champions! Can you do that? And Orton would have to be there, anyway. He wouldn’t be that surprised. In that case, Riddle will invite Orton over for WSB’s, tell him about the cash-in then. Even better. But speaking of surprises, Ricochet has surprises for John Morrison tonight! He won’t even see it coming. But surprise, splash holes! Morrison & Miz roll up, and Miz says, “I’m your huckleberry.” SQUIRT SQUIRT! Drip stick drive by! And they even run over Riddle’s bad foot! That Drip Drip is gonna go down at high noon! Will the One and Only get the Guru of Greatness once and for all?

Falls Count Anywhere: Ricochet VS John Morrison w/ The Miz!

No more count-outs, this can go wherever the King of Flight and the Mayor of Slam Town want! But how will it end for them with MITB just on the horizon?

Raw returns and Ricochet makes his entrance. The bell rings and Ricochet circles with Morrison. They approach, Morrison kicks low and headlocks. Ricochet powers out, things speed up, Ricochet hurdles but Morrison leaps over. Ricochet springboards to flying arm-drag! Morrison catches his breath and dumps Ricochet to the apron! Ricochet ROCKS Morrison but Morrison ROUNDHOUSES Ricochet! Morrison goes to the apron, has Ricochet in the ropes, DRAPING APRON NECKBREAKER!! Cover on the floor, TWO! Ricochet survives that nasty attack but Miz talks trash. Ricochet kicks at Miz but Morrison KICKS Ricochet in the side!

Miz laughs at Ricochet’s pain as Morrison gets Ricochet up to backslide! Miz even helps! TWO!! Ricochet escapes but Morrison has him against the barriers to KNEE him down! Morrison wrenches, brings Ricochet over, and snapmares him into barriers for a SOBAT! Cover, TWO!! Ricochet survives again but Morrison fires off body shots. Morrison puts Ricochet in the ring, Ricochet flounders about and Morrison stomps him down! Morrison goes up but Ricochet intercepts Starship Pain with a waistlock! Ricochet gets Morrison off the corner for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Miz grows worried, but Morrison gets up and away from Ricochet.

Morrison is in a corner, Ricochet glares at Miz and goes after Morrison, but Morrison HOOK KICKS him out of the ring! Morrison aims from the apron, KONG FLIP ATTACK! Cover, TWO! Morrison gets Ricochet up, bumps him off barriers, then follows him around the way. Morrison TOSSES Ricochet over the barriers, jumps the barriers, but Ricochet fires off hands! Ricochet smacks Morrison off the LED screens! Miz says respect the virtual fans, but Ricochet waves to them as he throws Morrison over the barriers. Morrison ROUNDHOUSES back, and gets up on the barrier. Ricochet joins him, and trips him up! Morrison hits the floor, Ricochet uses barriers for a 450 SPALSH!!

Ricochet’s ribs keep him from making an immediate cover but he gets the lateral press, TWO!! Morrison survives but Ricochet puts him in the ring. Ricochet ROCKS Morrison with a right, springboards, but Morrison gets out of the ring! Ricochet lands on his feet, thinks about what he could do, and uses the corner to LAUNCH himself for a SHOOTING STAR PRESS!! Direct hit and both men go down! Miz freaks out and wheels over as fast as he can while Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again as Morrison brings out a ladder! A preview of MITB as Morrison makes a ladder bridge between ring and announce desk. Morrison kicks Ricochet’s legs, CLUBS him down, then brings him around to whip. Ricochet slides under the ladder, ROCKS Morrison from over it, and then runs to go up and over and FLYING CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Ricochet keeps his cool as he brings Morrison up to throw haymakers. Morrison staggers, Ricochet RAMS him into the apron! Ricochet puts Morrison in the ring, aims from the apron, but Morrison scrambles away. Ricochet pursues but Morrison bails out.

Ricochet builds speed but Miz is used to block the way again! Ricochet still FLIES! He goes right over Miz to take Morrison out at the ramp! Cover, TWO!! Johnny Drip Drip is still in this but Ricochet get shim up to RAM him into barriers! Miz talks trash but Ricochet throws EuroUppers as they go up the ramp. Morrison scrambles to the stage but Ricochet clubs him down. Morrison hits low, brings Ricochet around to scoop, but Ricochet slips off and kicks low! Ricochet aims, reels Morrison in, but Morrison blocks the suplex! Morrison throws knees, tries a suplex, but Ricochet slips out to shove and RANA! Morrison hits pretty flat, Ricochet covers, TWO!

Morrison clutches his leg but Ricochet gets up. Ricochet brings Morrison over to throw at the LED board, but Morrison blocks to kick back! Morrison hurries backstage but Ricochet pursues! Miz does his best to wheel up the ramp but that’s hard. Morrison SUPERKICKS Ricochet from outta nowhere! Morrison talks trash, KICKS Ricochet in the side, and then grabs the chair to set it up. Morrison throws forearms, KICKS Ricochet into having a seat, and then SHINING WIZARDS Him out of it! Cover, TWO!! Ricochet survives but Morrison sticks ‘n’ moves with forearms. They go back to the stage and Miz laughs at Ricochet as he tumbles down.

Morrison and Miz circle Ricochet like buzzards, but Ricochet BOOTS Morrison down! Ricochet DECKS Morrison and Morrison tumbles down the ramp! Miz tells Ricochet to stop but Ricochet looks at Miz! Ricochet gets Miz’s wheelchair handles, and steers Miz at Morrison! FLYING TACKLE off the back of the wheelchair! Cover, TWO! Ricochet puts Morrison back in the ring, shoulders into him, and bumps him off buckles. Ricochet KICKS Morrison down, and then watches. Miz SQUIRT SQUIRT with the Drip Stick! Morrison rolls Ricochet up, has the ropes, TWO!! Morrison kicks low, MOONLIGHT DRIVE!! Cover, TWO!?!

Morrison can’t believe Ricochet survives, but he hurries to put him in position., But here comes Riddle! Riddle gets Miz’s chair handles, tips him back and back, and sets him down! Miz is stuck like a turtle on his back, and Riddle mocks him. Ricochet runs at Morrison but Morrison elbows him. Morrison springboards, into a RECOIL!! But Ricochet can’t cover, he’s too tired! Riddle keeps playing around with Miz, but Ricochet runs to KNEE Morrison! Morrison sits on the ladder, Ricochet goes up top!? Ricochet aims for a BIG SPLASH through the ladder!!! Riddle is shocked! Ricochet crawls to a cover, Ricochet wins!!

Winner: Ricochet, by pinfall

Riddle tells Miz what happened, and he is fired up as much as Ricochet! But with all of this building to the Men’s MITB, what will happen when four more superstars and even more ladders are in the mix?

 

Tamina and Natalya get fired up backstage.

The Queen of Harts is in the Women’s MITB and she’s taking on the Raw Women’s Champion tonight! Sarah comes over to interview Natty about that very subject, and Natty says she is a standard bearer here. Every day, she wants to be better. She has a foolproof plan to do what no one has ever done in the WWE. She will be Women’s Tag Team Champion, Raw Women’s Champion and SmackDown Women’s Champion at the same time! Because she’ll beat Rhea tonight and earn a shot at that title, and then she’ll cash in THE MITB contract on the other title! Tamina is fired up for Natty, but they also hear Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke around the corner.

Tamina asks those two why they’re laughing so much, and the #SexyMuscleFriends say a plan can’t be foolproof if it came from a fool. No offense, but they don’t love Natty’s chances this Sunday. Or even her odds tonight against Rhea. And when these two challenge Natty & Tamina for the tag titles, they don’t like the odds of the champs retaining. But Mandy loves those odds for the challengers. Tamina says she loves the idea of kicking their teeth down their throats! What’s stopping her? Oh look at D acting all tough. Tamina SHOVES Dana into trunks! Mandy holds Dana back because it is only a matter of time. But whose chances will be looking up after the Queen of Harts takes on the Nightmare?

 

Backstage interview with Drew McIntyre.

Now that we know his family heirloom has been safe this whole time, how will McIntyre refocus his attention on MITB? Well, he won’t pat himself on the back. He has bigger things to worry about. This MITB might be his last chance to reach the top of the mountain. Do you know the story of Icarus? Some Greek kid who flew too close to the sun. Imagine McIntyre as “Tricky Icky” and the MITB briefcase is the sun, and him flying like a 6’2″ Scottish fire-breathing dragon that he is. And he’s not made of wax and paper, no! He is made of 100% Grade A Scottish BEEF, brother!

And nothing, and he means absolutely nothing, not the ladders, not 700 other guys, not even the sun, can stop McIntyre from becoming Mr. MITB! Will the Scottish Warrior slay all who get in the way of this final opportunity at a world title?

 

Rhea Ripley VS Natalya w/ Tamina!

Before she makes her entrance, Sarah asks Rhea why she took this match this close to her match with Charlotte Flair at MITB? Natty challenged Rhea, and Rhea is not one who backs down from a challenge. As for Sunday, Charlotte won’t have a crutch to hide behind because Rhea’s exposed her for the drama queen that she is! When Rhea wins at MITB, she will give Charlotte a reason to need a crutch. The Nightmare heads out, is she about to give us all a sample of her brutality?

Raw returns and the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions make their entrance. The bell rings and the two circle. Natty and Rhea tie up, Rhea wrenches an arm to a wristlock then grinds the shoulder. Natty gets up, Rhea keeps on the wrist, but Natty rolls, handsprings and rolls Rhea up! TWO, but Natty waistlocks. Rhea pries free to switch, but Natty bumps, wrenches and wristlocks. Rhea spins, gets in and lifts Natty up but Natty sunset flips! TWO, and Rhea kicks low! Rhea whips Natty to a corner, Natty reverses but Rhea goes up and over. Things speed up, then the two stand off. Tamina cheers Natty on but Rhea says neener neener.

Things speed up again, Natty arm-drags to a cover, TWO to ghost pin! TWO, Natty kicks low and CLUBS Rhea on the back. Natty whips, Rhea slips around to go for a leg but Natty sits on the takedown! TWO, Rhea sunset flips, TWO! Natty has the prawn hold, ONE!! Rhea HEADBUTTS Natty down! Rhea gets Natty up, pump handles, but Natty slips out to roll up! ONE, Natty steps through but Rhea BOOTS her out of the ring! Rhea avoids the Sharpshooter, goes outside, and runs in, but Natty moves! Tamina gets hit with the dropkick! Natty gets Rhea with a DISCUS! Everyone is down on the outside and Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Natty fights Rhea up top. Rhea knocks Natty down but Natty comes back! They brawl on the top, Natty gets the edge with CLUBBING forearms, but Rhea HEADBUTTS Natty back! Rhea adjusts, leaps, and missile dropkicks! Both women are down, Natty gets to a corner but Rhea gets up. Rhea runs in, misses and gets buckles, Natty throws more forearms. Natty whips corner to corner, runs in but into BOOTS! Rhea hurries to cover, TWO! Rhea seethes, cravats and throws in knees, but Natty shoves her away. Natty swings but Rhea spins her to a NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Natty gets out, Rhea pursues and brings her to a corner.

Natty throws hands, bumps Rhea off the POST, and then gets in to RUNNING POWERBOMB Rhea down! Cover, TWO!! Rhea survives and Tamina can’t believe it! Natty keeps her focus, and gets the legs! Rhea boots her away again, but misses in the corner! Natty gets Rhea up, rebound atomic sit-down! Natty runs on Rhea, but Rhea avoids the basement dropkick! Rhea gets Natty’s legs for the PRISM TRAP!! Tamina coaches Natty but Rhea drags her away! Natty victory rolls through, TWO! Natty wheelbarrows to victory roll, then the legs! Natty SLAPS Rhea and puts on the SHARPSHOOTER!! Rhea endures, crawls, Tamina coaches Natty and Natty sits deep!

Rhea powers up and ROLLS Natty into buckles! Natty lets go and Rhea clutches her back. Natty gets up, but Rhea EDDY GORDO KICKS her down! Pump handle and RIPTIDE!! Cover, Rhea wins!

Winner: Rhea Ripley, by pinfall

Step one of Natty’s ultimate championship plan does not go as she hoped, and The Nightmare is still strong going into MITB! Will the Queen of Harts have better luck in the Women’s MITB match?

But then Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS Rhea outta nowhere! Where did she even come from!? Charlotte puts the leg on ropes to drop a knee on the knee! And then she gets the leg for a FIGURE FOUR! And she drags Rhea over to the apron for a DRAPING FIGURE FOUR!! Charlotte twists one ankle and bends the other with her high-heeled boots, but lets go to mock Rhea. “What’re you gonna do? Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Rhea.” But will the one true Queen once again become Raw Women’s Champion at MITB?

 

MVP talks with the ladies.

Tonight has not been the best night for Lashley, so this VIP Lounge has to be the best it can be. Smile, dance, make Lashley feel good. Back rubs, constant champagne, the works. MVP leads the ladies to gorilla position, but will the All Mighty’s mood be any better after a little bit of fun?

 

Backstage interview with Charlotte Flair.

Was that attack a preview of what’s to come? Sarah, it’s not about the pieces in the game, but the player. And Charlotte learned from the Dirtiest Player in the Game, and we will all see it is game over for Rhea at MITB.

 

MVP presents the VIP Lounge.

He says it is a very special edition, and says it is bittersweet. This is the last episode of Monday Night Raw from the ThunderDome! The ThunderDome saw the rise of the All mighty, Bobby Lashley, become a champion so dominant that he obliterated everyone! And MVP will fondly recall this place as the Lashley Dome. But more importantly, the Chief Hurt Officer, and the Half Man Half Amazing MVP will be LIVE in front of the WWE Universe next week! So it is his honor and privilege to introduce to us, Bobby Lashley! Uh, where is the music? Where is Lashley? MVP introduces him again but still no Lashley.

Okay, ladies, please help out. He starts up the introduction again, and the ladies join in in saying “BOBBY LASHLEY!” Finally the music plays, Lashley walks out, but his tie is loose and his vest is undone as he barely carries the title in his hand. MVP asks where Lashley’s been, but go ahead, jump right in, the water’s fine. Is Lashley alright? Ladies, help out. Lashley takes the mic to say MVP has said enough. Ladies, please excuse them so they can talk alone. The ladies leave and MVP looks to Lashley with confusion. Lashley says he doesn’t want the ladies here, anyway.

Lashley was thinking about what Kofi has been saying. At first, it seemed like trash talk just to get in Lashley’s head. But as he thought more about it, Kofi was right. Everything he’s said about MVP causing Lashley to lose his edge is right! Look what happened tonight! Lashley lost to Xavier Woods! Lashley should’ve dismantled that twerp, stacked him and Kofi as a pile of broken bones! Lashley is furious, but MVP wants to cheer him up with champagne and women? MVP, Lashley does appreciate everything he’s done for Lashley’s career, but the BS stops now! Back to business! The ONLY enjoyment Lashley wants to have from now on is destroying every single soul that steps for the title!

MVP nods and agrees, and then Lashley starts throwing things out of the lounge! MVP tries to stop him but he just glares at MVP. MVP lets Lashley chuck the tables and the couches, and even the champagne, all out of the ring. Lashley seethes as he looks at MVP, and then he grabs the mic again. “Kofi. I’m gonna do this weekend what I should’ve done weeks ago. I’m gonna tear you in half. I’m gonna go into MITB the All Mighty WWE Champion, and I’m going to leave the All Mighty WWE Champion!” Kofi can bring his family, friends and the entire WWE Universe to be behind him. Because Lashley will dismantle Kofi and do everything that he said he would do!

Lashley hopes Kofi is ready to fight not just for the title, but for his LIFE. Lashley will cave Kofi’s head in, wring his neck, and then fold him into a box and send it to a circus so he can be with the clowns! Yeah, the circus is dead. And after Sunday, so will be Kofi’s career! The wrath of the Rocky Mountain Machine is coming to Fort Worth, will Kofi be able to survive?


My Thoughts:

A great Raw to be the go-home to MITB and the good-bye to the ThunderDome. There were other things that could’ve made it better, but I would’ve really loved if Bobby Lashley demolished the LED fan screens on top of the VIP Lounge at the end there. But this was a taped episode, and it was taped before they had to film SmackDown live on Friday. They could’ve kayfabe’d it and put things back together before Friday, but oh well. But it was great for story that Woods got the big upset win and made Lashley see that he needed to stop taking this lightly. I am pretty sure the math holds and Lashley wins, but I almost feel like something happens, Kofi wins, and Lashley destroys MVP for it.

The exchange with Mahal and McIntyre was good but it also seemed a bit of a shame. McIntyre having a decoy sword seemed like a cop-out just so McIntyre could get the sword back without having to fight Mahal and put stuff on the line. But McIntyre busting up that sweet motorcycle was pretty standard behavior for Faces getting revenge. Pretty sure this means Mahal, Shanky and Veer attack McIntyre during the Men’s MITB and keep him from winning. McIntyre said this feels like his last chance, so it’d make some sense if Mahal takes this chance from him and then they feud on the way to SummerSlam.

Alexa’s Playground was alright, with Alexa and Piper oddly getting along a nice detail. Eva was a proper pain in the ass, but her wanting to screw Alexa out of the Fatal 4 was a bit backwards given how she wanted nothing to do with her just before. The little disappearing act was a decent way to getting to break there, and it did effectively keep Alexa out of the finish. Nikki getting the win was great for her, but it is hard to pick out a winner for MITB here. I do appreciate Natty wanting to become ultimate champion, and she had a great match with Rhea. But Charlotte’s attack was obvious from a mile away, and it is so obvious that the math is now in Rhea’s favor.

Sheamus attacking Carrillo to screw him over even before the US Championship match seemed very Sheamus. Damian Priest showing up to help Carrillo to the ring and then after the match were clear indicators that he’s next, and Priest can have one hell of a match with Sheamus with them both being bigger, taller and are hard hitting strikers. I do like that, with SmackDown putting their women’s championship on this Friday, the Raw Tag Team Championships get put on MITB. The two singles matches between the Viking Raiders and Styles-Omos were very good. Omos winning his first singles match makes sense, since they’ve obviously been very high on him. I don’t see Styles & Omos losing the belts, we still need to see them take on RKBRO at SummerSlam, it just feels right.

Riddle had good promos with Nikki and Ricochet, and him helping counter Miz during the Falls Count Anywhere was great. The Falls Count Anywhere match itself was awesome, but again it was a case where they could’ve done more with the ThunderDome. They should’ve taken a page out of the Roman Reigns VS Kevin Owens Last Man Standing and gone up around the LED fan screens, and even break a couple. But bringing out a ladder in an MITB teaser was very smart, and that ladder spot to end it was crazy! I have a feeling this keeps Ricochet out of the running, but I feel like it isn’t going to be a Raw superstar on the men’s side anyway. The stories for the SmackDown contenders are just so strong, with Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins having their reasons to go after Roman, and Big E finally getting his own chance to break through to the world title scene.

My Score: 8.2/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (2/7/23)

Konosuke Takeshita gets Dark!

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The future of wrestling could be defined in the Dark!

Konosuke Takeshita is going strong in AEW, but he takes on MLW’s EJ Nduka! Will Konosuke still be The Future? Or will The Judge bring down the law?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Slim J VS Mascara Dorada; wins.
  • Rush w/ Jose the Assistant VS Aiden Park; wins.
  • The Outrunners VS Logan Cruz & Tyshaun Perez; wins.
  • Baliyan Akki VS Rico Gonzalez; wins.
  • Blake Christian VS Serpentico w/ Luther; wins.
  • Dalton Castle w/ The Boys VS Dante Casanova; wins.
  • Kiera Hogan VS Megan Meyers; wins.
  • Konosuke Takeshita VS EJ Nduka; wins.

QUICK NOTES

Another pretty good line-up, but the highlight is of course Konosuke VS Nduka. Both are great, having been champions outside of AEW. In fact, Nduka will be featured on tonight’s debut edition of MLW Underground on the Reelz channel. Nduka is challenging Alex Hammerstone for the MLW World Heavyweight Championship in a Last Man Standing match. Between AEW Dark on YouTube and the MLW television debut, Nduka is going to get noticed by a lot of wrestling fans, and he very well could be the new MLW Champion the next time he’s in AEW.


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (2/6/23)

Time to rage in the cage!

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Will it end where it all began?

Damage CTRL denied us and Becky Lynch the cage match with Bayley before, but now that Raw is in Orlando, The Man VS The Role Model WILL happen! Will this all come full circle for both these Horsewomen?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Elimination Chamber Match Qualifier: Damian Priest VS Angelo Dawkins; Priest wins and advances to the United States title Elimination Chamber match.
  • Baron Corbin w/ JBL VS Dexter Lumis w/ Johnny Gargano; Lumis wins.
  • Women’s Elimination Chamber Qualifier Fatal 4 Way: Mia Yim VS Candice LeRae VS Piper Niven VS Carmella; Carmella wins and advances to the Raw Women’s Championship Elimination Chamber match.
  • Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin VS The Alpha Academy; Alexander & Benjamin win.
  • Chelsea Green VS ???; Asuka wins.
  • Elimination Chamber Match Qualifier: Elias VS Montez Ford; Ford wins and advances to the United States title Elimination Chamber match.
  • Steel Cage: Bayley w/ Damage CTRL VS Becky Lynch; Becky wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Edge and Beth Phoenix are here!

Orlando goes nuts as the Rated R Superstar and the Glamazon make their way to the ring! Edge even takes some selfies with fans in the front row before he stands with Beth in the ring. The Grit Couple is of course here for revenge on the Judgment Day, a grudge that goes back to last year and Extreme Rules. They get the mic, and Edge says, “Oh, Orlando…! I gotta try and bring my heart rate down after watching that video, and just say it is so damn good to be back.” Orlando is happy to have them back, and Edge says he’s “The King of Comebacks as this point, it’s getting silly.” But we all know why they’re here this time: The Judgment Day.

Fans boo and Edge agrees. But the Judgment Day is his fault. The idea was to try and elevate talent he felt deserved it. And to be honest, it worked. All of them are at a better place now than they were a year ago. Finn Balor is on a level Edge has never seen before and that is saying something. Damian Priest has proven he’s a workhorse that come out week after week against the very best. Rhea Ripley, well… Fans do cheer Rhea, and Rhea went from number one to outlast everyone, and has punched her ticket to WrestleMania. Edge makes sure everyone sees him point at the sign. Oh, and Dom’s there, too.

“For the last year, we have battled back and forth. From Cardiff to Portland to Toronto, all leading up to Extreme Rules. And I knew that Finn Balor didn’t have what it takes to physically hurt me enough to make me say, ‘I Quit.’ But as you saw in the video, the minute I saw Rhea Ripley bash Beth in the back of the head with brass knuckles and hold that chair in her hand, I knew exactly what was going to happen and I was helpless to stop it. And I am the kind of man, and I know a lot of you can relate out there, I am the kind of man that is not used to feeling helpless.” Fans cheer, and Edge “congratulates” Judgment Day with a sarcastic clap.

Fans chant “You Still Got It!” and Edge says, “I never lost it.” Fans cheer that! Edge continues to say, “But here’s the thing, guys. You just made a bad problem even worse. Because I am a cruel, vindictive, sick bastard, who will sink to any level to get my pound of flesh!” Beth calms Edge and says she’ll cut to the chase. “If you’ve got the stones, Ripley, Balor, my husband and I are here to finish this.” But speaking of, here comes the Judgment Day! Finn, Priest and Dom have the mics but Rhea isn’t here. Finn asks if he’s the only one who notices a pattern. Edge makes his triumphant return, only for the Judgment Day to beat him down again and again and again!

Finn tells Edge, “It might be time for you to say ‘I quit.’ HAHAHA!” Dom says word on the street travels fast. Fans boo Dom but Finn tells them to let Dom talk. Dom says since Edge & Beth have been gone, he has served hard time! Fans continue to boo, Finn again says to let Dom talk! Dom tells Edge & Beth to run along, before he does something to them he learned “on the inside.” Just like he did to his deadbeat dad! Rey didn’t even make it into the Rumble match! Priest says Dom’s right. Fans chant “You Suck!” but Priest says it doesn’t matter. Edge and Rey are “something else.” Every time they come back, Judgment Day beats them down, but they come back for more.

So next time they beat Edge down, Extreme Rules will look like child’s play. And speaking of child’s play, after Dawkins gets cooked and Priest enters the Money… Wait, no, Edge has him so flustered. Finn says it’s alright, Edge has Finn all mad, too. Priest promises Edge that he hates him that he can’t even speak right. Priest is getting inside the Elimination Chamber to be the United States Champion! Dom wishes Rhea was here, she could see what they’re about to do to Edge. But Rhea is busy promoting WrestleMania. Edge tells Dom to shut up! Fans cheer that! Edge says he was right, but they all confuse him! They don’t know what they really want!

Priest, the night he clotheslined Edge’s head off, he claimed he didn’t want a leader. And yet, he’s following Finn around like a giant labradoodle. He’s better than that! As for Finn, he’s a Dollar Store Jamiroquai! It’s insanity. Google Jamiroquai, kids. But the difference between Judgment Day and The Grit Couple is that Edge and Beth have each other’s backs. But they all just drop each other quicker than “Ex Con Dom” did his drawers in the clink! “Which is fitting, considering how many times you screwed your dad over.” And by the way, Edge can’t wait until Rey snaps and 619s Dom’s teeth down his stupid throat! It’s coming!

Beth says Rhea’s not here cuz she’s doing promotional appearances? We all know it’s because Beth speared Rhea’s soul out of her body. But listen to her very closely: she didn’t come here to talk. She came to beat Rhea’s ass!! But if she’s not here tonight, how about this? The Rated R Superstar, Edge and the Glamazon, Beth Phoenix VS Finn Balor & Rhea Ripley at Elimination Chamber! Oh, oh, really? Does Dom think Rhea’s in? Dom says Mami is totally in. Finn is in, so they accept! That is, if Edge & Beth make it to Elimination Chamber. The Judgment Day surrounds the ring, Edge & Beth stand their ground, and the fight is on!

Beth runs off Dom, Priest & Finn go after Edge, but here comes ANGELO DAWKINS! Dawkins BLASTS Dom, then fires off on Priest! Dawkins clotheslines Dawkins out, Edge SPEARS Finn down! Dom is freaking out, and Ford creeps up behind him. Ford spooks Dom, puts him in the ring, and Dom wants mercy! He gets chicken wings and a GLAM SLAM instead! Orlando is all fired up, but will the Curse of Greatness be able to take down Damian? Or will Punishment be heading for Montreal?

Elimination Chamber Match Qualifier: Damian Priest VS Angelo Dawkins!

Raw returns as Priest stomps away on Dawkins, this match already underway. But it is also truly 1v1 as Adam Pearce made sure during the break to say no one else is allowed ringside! Priest stands Dawkins up to ROCK him with a right, then whips him to ropes. Dawkins handsprings over and DROPKCIKS Priest! Dawkins fireman’s carries for a FLAPJACK! Priest bails out, Dawkins builds speed, but Priest moves. Dawkins stops, slides out the side, and runs in to POUNCE Priest onto the announce desk!! Fans are thunderous as Priest flops to the floor! Dawkins puts Priest in the ring, sees him go to the corner, and runs in to CYCLONE- FOREARM!

Priest snarls as he stomps away on Dawkins again. Priest drags Dawkins up, rams him into a corner and fires off hands! Priest whips corner to corner, runs in and back elbows! Priest brings Dawkins up for a BROKEN ARROW! Cover, TWO! Priest snarls, he sits Dawkins up and pulls on the arms for a motorcycle stretch. Dawkins endures, Orlando rallies up, and Dawkins fights but Priest CLUBS him down! Cover, TWO! Priest clamps on with a chinlock now, and he bends Dawkins against his knee. Dawkins endures, fans rally up, and Dawkins fights up. Priest swings, Dawkins blocks to ROCK back! And again! And again! Anda gain!

Priest shoves, Dawkins bobs ‘n’ weaves then ROCKS Priest again! Dawkins dodges Priest’s boot to ENZIGURI! Priest runs in again but Dawkins dumps him out! Fans fire up as Dawkins goes out and runs in again, but into a LARIAT! Priest glares at Dawkins as he storms up on him. Priest drags Dawkins up, BIG suplex to the floor! Priest slides in the ring but just to refresh the count. Priest runs in around the way, leaps off the steps and FLYING KCIKS Dawkins down! Fans boo but Priest is in control as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and both men are down after a collision. Fans rally up, Dawkins and Priest go to opposite ends, and Dawkins runs in to rally with clotheslines! Priest hits low, whips, but Dawkins hurdles and FLYING UPPERCUTS! Fans fire up with Dawkins, he runs corner to corner to CYCLONE! And ENZIGURI! And facelock, but Priest wrenches out, Dawkins ducks the lariat, to clinch and EXPLODER! Cover, TWO! Dawkins grows a little frustrated but fans rally up. Dawkins brings Priest up, ROCKS him with a right, then climbs a corner. Priest choke grips first! Priest then climbs up to join Dawkins, but Dawkins HOTSHOTS him back!

Dawkins hurries in, but into a SUPERKICK! Clinch and COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, TWO! Dawkins survives and Priest is growing frustrated now. Priest holds up his hand and fans boo. Dawkins rises, Priest clamps on, SOUTH OF- NO, Dawkins pops free for the SILENCER! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins hurries to a corner and climbs back up! SWANTON BOMB!! Cover, TWO!!! Priest survives and Dawkins is beside himself! But Orlando fires up as he drags Priest back up. Priest clamps onto a leg, Dawkins throws hands! Dawkins brings Priest up again, but Priest ROCKS him with a forearm! Priest staggers, into a RIGHT from Dawkins!

Priest goes to a corner, Dawkins runs in, but into a SPINNING ROUNDHOUSE! Choke grip, SOUTH OF HEAVEN!! Cover, Priest wins!!

Winner: Damian Priest, by pinfall (advances to the United States Championship Elimination Chamber match)

The Punisher pulverizes Dawkins, and now he’s taking aim at the US Championship! Will Priest hit his mark and take that title back?

 

The United States Champion pulls into the arena.

Austin Theory drives a black Lamborghini, showing that The Now rides in style. Will he have anything to say about the Elimination Chamber field as it fills out tonight?

 

Adam Pearce meets with Maximum Males Models.

Maxxine Dupri finishes signing the contract, she, Maçé & Mansöôr are now officially part of Monday Night Raw. Pearce is happy to have them here, and is sure they have big WrestleMania plans. Maxxine confirms, she has big, BIG plans. But then Chelsea Green walks in and asks, “Are you the manager?” Chelsea, you know Pearce is the manager, they spoke last week. Pearce has MMM excuse themselves, and Chelsea says that, as they spoke last week, she is supposed to have a private room, with Swiss chocolates and fresh spring water. He took care of that. Oh, well, that was Belgian chocolate. She’s been to Belgium, she knows the difference.

Anyway, while she has him, she wants to talk about how she’s NOT in the Elimination Chamber match. But Liv is, Raquel is, Nikki is, all of who she could be. With all due respect, Chelsea, you didn’t even last five seconds in the Women’s Rumble, so- Uh, sorry, does she need to call his manager? All she wants is an opportunity. her family is in attendance, so she deserves a match. And in that match, she deserves to be presented as the big star she is. So he either makes this right, or… One call could cost him his job. Okay, thanks, bye. Chelsea heads out, but will Pearce bend to her demands?

 

Baron Corbin w/ JBL VS Dexter Lumis w/ Johnny Gargano!

The Modern Day Wrestling God didn’t last all that long in the Men’s Rumble, and he didn’t get a win over Johnny Wrestling last week. The Rumble was because of Lesnar, that match with Gargano was because of Lumis. Can Corbin even the score with the Tortured Artist? Or will JBL start to question his investment into Baron?

Raw returns and Lumis makes his entrance. Corbin attacks Lumis as soon as he’s in the ring! The ref reprimands and fans boo, but Corbin lets off. The bell rings and Corbin hits a SPLASH in the corner! Corbin throws Lumis down, elbows him down, then clamps on a chinlock. Corbin grinds Lumis down but fans chant, “Corbin Sucks!” Lumis endures, fights up and fights free of the hold. Lumis then headlocks, but Corbin powers out. Corbin CLOBBERS Lumis, then rains down more elbows! Corbin clamps the chinlock on again, and insults the fans. JBL coaches Corbin, Lumis still endures and fights his way back up.

Corbin knees low, he puts Lumis in a corner and fires off forearms. Corbin whips corner to corner hard and Lumis bounces off buckles! Cover, TWO! Corbin says Lumis is nothing and Gargano isn’t anything, either. Gargano says he still got a win off Corbin. Corbin grinds forearms into Lumis’ face, then twists Lumis’ head in a neck wrench. Fans rally and Lumis fights up again. Lumis throws hands, dodges Corbin’s, then DECKS him! And DECKS him again! Pop-up UPPERCUT! Lumis runs to clothesline in the corner, then BULLDOG! Fans fire up as Lumis catches Corbin for a BIG back suplex! Kip up to LEG DROP!

Fans fire up as Corbin flounders up. Lumis clinches, but Corbin RAMS him into a corner. Corbin fires off elbows, then runs in, but only gets buckles! Lumis clinches for the SIDE EFFECT! Cover, Lumis wins!

Winner: Dexter Lumis, by pinfall

JBL is speechless as Gargano stands with Lumis. Gargano is headed to the Elimination Chamber for the US title, but will Lumis find himself in title talks soon enough?

 

Backstage interview with Becky Lynch.

Byron Saxton says The Man finally has Bayley inside that Steel Cage. What does tonight mean to her? “Orlando, Florida! Orlando, where it all began. Ten years ago, when I got off the plane with my bags to chase this WWE dream. When I first met you, Byron Saxton. A lot has happened in Orlando in those ten years, but ten years ago, I first met Bayley. In the weight room in the NXT Performance Center. And she seemed sweet and she seemed kind, and she wanted to be great. And her way of being great was high-fiving people and hugging people, and attaching herself to whoever she thought would be her meal ticket to the top.

“But I, too, Byron, I wanted to be great. And my way of being great was smashing faces, kicking down doors and changing the game so that I could become The Man of this industry! And Bayley… Bayley didn’t like that. No, she didn’t like that. So she’s attacked me and hit me with chairs and separated my shoulder. And she brought my family into this. And Bayley, I’m gonna learn you to not talk about my family. But all that aside, I had a plan. And tonight, I got what I want, and that is a Steel Cage Match.

“And so Bayley, you can bring your little friends, and you can bring your little tricks. Well, there is one hand that I haven’t played yet, and I’m thinking… I’m thinking, Byron, tonight might be the night.” What does Big Time Becks have planned for the Role Model in tonight’s main event?

 

Brock Lesnar is here!

Orlando goes nuts again as The Beast walks out to the ring and tips his cowboy hat with a feather in it. Lesnar gets the mic to say, “I appreciate ya. Thank you very much. Good evening, Orlando. Did y’all by chance catch the Royal Rumble? I did, too. I thought it sucked. At least, I had a sucky experience. At the Royal Rumble, Brock Lesnar got his ass thrown out over the top rope. That’s not the worst of it. I got my ass thrown over the top rope, by Bobby Who? Bobby Lashley! Now I apologize. I wasn’t on Raw last week, I had to get my head together a little bit. Bobby, you finally struck a chord in Brock Lesnar.”

All last week, Lesnar could not get Lashley out of his head. Lesnar tried to go hunting, and all he could think about was Bobby Who? Bobby Lashley! Next day, Lesnar wakes up, wants to go ice fishing. He likes coastal fishing, too, but he tries to go, but all he can think of is Bobby Who? Bobby Lashley! He sits down for a big ol’ steak dinner, and all he can think about is Bobby Lashley! He gets into bed at night with his wife, and… Well, four or five hours later, all Lesnar could think about is Bobby Lashley! So for a whole week, Lesnar thought about what he’s gonna do with Lashley. Lesnar has a resolution. A violent resolution, but still.

You see, within Lesnar’s “five dollar denim jacket, is a multi-million dollar contract.” Fans like the sound of that. Lesnar reads the contract: “Bobby Lashley VS Brock Lesnar at Elimination Chamber.” Now Lashley, if you’ve got balls, you’ll get down here and sign the contract! Well here comes Lashley! Lashley is in shades and a nice suit as he heads down the ramp and to the ring. Lashley gets himself a mic, and he says, “Well nice of you to grace us with your presence, Brock. I didn’t even know you were gonna be here. But since you are, let’s take a little walk down memory lane.”

Match number one, what happened? Lashley pinned Lesnar. Match number two, Lesnar won. But if memory serves, Lashley laid Lesnar out cold as he walked out of the ring. And the third meeting was at the Royal Rumble, and Lashley threw Lesnar out without a problem. Lesnar steps closer and hands Lashley the contract. Lashley takes it, and again says that if memory serves, Lashley will be done under his terms. Lashley is going to take Lesnar’s contract and let his agent look at it, and his manager, and his lawyer, then Lashley will get back to Lesnar. This will be under consideration.

Oh, is Lesnar surprised? Surprised that Bobby Who has one up on you? Lashley emphasizes that with a poke of the finger. Lesnar smirks, and he reels Lashley in! F5!! Lesnar puts the contract in Lashley’s pocket, but fans chant “ONE MORE TIME!” Lesnar figures why not! Fireman’s carry, F5!! The Beast puts his hat back on, takes his leave, and the ball is now in the All Mighty’s court. Will this all but guarantee Lashley will want that match with Lesnar in Montreal?

 

Johnny Gargano finds Candice LeRae backstage.

Mr. Wrestling says hello to Mrs. Wrestling, tonight is big, right? How is she feeling? Luck hasn’t been on her side but she feels good. Lumis has a picture for good luck. Wow, the whole family! Gargano, Candice, little Quill and their dog, Pawdme, and… Who is that in the back? Nikki Cross? Cuz she’s SPYING on them! Nikki laughs and runs off! Candice isn’t sure what to make of that, but will she worry more about it once she’s in the chamber with crazy Cross?

 

Women’s Elimination Chamber Qualifier Fatal 4 Way: Mia Yim VS Candice LeRae VS Piper Niven VS Carmella!

Raquel Gonzalez, Liv Morgan, Nikki Cross, Asuka and Natalya are waiting, and there’s just one spot left in the Raw Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s match! Will it be Michin, Mrs. Wrestling, the Scottish Viper, or the FABULOUS Princess of Staten Island going all the way to Montreal for that golden opportunity?

Raw returns, Candice is already in the ring as Mia makes her entrance. Then, last but not least, Piper Niven! She’s dropped the nickname, will she make a name for herself on the Road to WrestleMania? The bell rings and Piper CLOBBERS Mia and Candice! Piper and Mella stare down, Mella talking trash even though this is her return match. Piper scares Mella with a growl and Mella bails out to hang by hubby Corey Graves. Piper whips Candice into Mia at a corner, then runs in to SANDWICH them! Candice and Mia both fall, and Piper grins. Mella hops on for a SLEEPER! Piper throws her right off!

Mella bails out again, but Mia and Candice fire off on Piper! Piper shoves them away, runs, but into a double drop toehold! She ends up on ropes, DOUBLE DROPKICKS send her out! Fans fire up with Mia and Candice, but then the two friends circle. They fist bump, and then Mia rushes in. Candice avoids the clothesline but Mia jumps over the leg sweep. Candice deflects a boot to waistlock, but Mia switches. Candice elbows free, Mia blocks a kick, and Mia slips under to pick Candice up! BUCKLE BOMB! Mia hoists Candice up top, CHOPS her, then blocks another kick! Mia has Candice in an Electric Chair, but Candice POISON-RANAS!

Mella scurries in to cover Candice, TWO! Cover on Mia, TWO! Cover back on Candice, TWO! Another cover on Mia, TWO! Piper TRIPLE SPLASHES them all!! Cover on Mia, TWO!! Piper drags Mia up to throw her out, then she kicks Candice out. Piper covers Mella, TWO!! Piper drags Mella up, throws her right out, and Piper is all fired up! Orlando is fired up with her, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Piper has everyone in corners. Piper SPLASHES Mia, SPLASHES Candice, but Mella dodges! FABULOUS KICK! Piper rebounds to CLOBBER Mella! Candice CROSSBODIES, but Piper catches her! Mia runs in to hit a NECKBREAKER that takes Piper down! All four women are down but Piper bails out of the ring! Orlando fires up while the others stir. Mella shouts, “This is MY match!” But Mia says no it ain’t! Mella throws a forearm, but Mia ROCKS Mella! Mella throws another, but Mia fires off a flurry! Mia BOOTS, then wrenches to hit EAT DA FEET!! Cover, Piper drags Mella away!

Fans are torn but Mia is shocked! Piper storms in, Mia throws body shots and haymakers! Piper ducks a roundhouse to HEADBUTT! Mia wobbles, Piper reels her in but Candice is up top! MISSILE DROPKICK! Piper is down, Candice LIONSAULTS! cover, Mia breaks it! Friends or not, this is every woman for herself! Mia says sorry, but then Piper shoves Mia into Candice! Candice falls, but Mia runs, but into a SCRAPBUSTER! Cover, Candice breaks it! Piper pulls at her hair and bites her fingers in frustration, but she has Candice to herself now. Candice fires off haymakers, but Piper shoves her down. SENTON FLOPS as Candice moves!

Candice STEP-UP SENTONS! But Mella rolls Candice up! TWO!! Candice escapes, DEKCS Mella, and Mella goes to a corner. Candice runs in but is sent into buckles! Mella shouts at Candice and stomps a fabulous mudhole in! Fans boo as Mella moonwalks and says, “Mella! Is! Money!” FABULOUS BRONCO BUSTER! But Piper runs in! Mella dodges, CANNONBALL for Candice! FABULOUS KICK for Piper! Mella stacks Candice, and WINS!

Winner: Carmella, by pinfall (advances to the Raw Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s match)

The Princess of Staten Island took advantage, and she is heading to Montreal! But will she be the one heading to WrestleMania with that golden ticket?

 

Baron Corbin regroups with JBL backstage.

Corbin laughs it off. “That didn’t go as planned, did it?” But where are they going to eat? Maybe get some drinks or something? JBL asks, “We? There ain’t no ‘we’. I headlined WrestleMania, I sold out arenas all over the world, I was must-watch television. You are channel changing television. That sound you hear when you get the ring, that’s the sound of remote controls around the world changing the channel to watch anything but you. And I don’t give a damn about you. I give a damn about the fact that MY Hall of Fame legacy, my CHAMPIONSHIP career, has lost all credibility, because of YOU!”

Corbin frowns but JBL continues. “Modern Day Wrestling God? I’ll tell you what you need. Not some cute little shirt, but a red nose and floppy shoes. Because you are a clown. You do not belong near me.” Corbin asks where this is coming from. He can do better! He’ll do better! JBL says, “You can’t polish a turd. I tried.” JBL storms off, did Corbin blow another major opportunity?

Meanwhile, we can see in the background that MVP is talking with Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin. They shake hands, having a much better talk than JBL and Corbin just did. As the Wrestling God partnership falls apart, are we seeing the return of the Hurt Business?

 

Piper Niven finds Candice LeRae backstage!

Piper blames Candice for that loss! Piper should be going to WrestleMania! Mia storms in and makes Piper back off. Piper says they’re both very luck. If either of them get in the way of her and the title again, she will not be forgiving. Mia and Candice stick together, but will they both have to worry about the angry Scottish Viper slithering around?

 

Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin VS The Alpha Academy!

Speaking of, PRIME Alexander and the Gold Standard are going up against “Master” Chad Gable and his number one guy, Otis! It’s a battle of former Raw Tag Team Champions, will one of these teams make a big impression on the Road to WrestleMania?

Raw returns and MVP is with Cedric & Shelton in their entrance! The teams sort out and Gable circles with Cedric. They tie up, Gable waistlocks and SLAMS Cedric, but Cedric gets up, only for Gable to snapmare. Gable rolls with Cedric, has a waistlock again, but Cedric pries free, only for Gable to headlock for the takeover. Cedric headscissors, Gable kips free, but Cedric arm-drags Gable. Gable arm-drags back, then blocks Cedric’s arm-drag to say, “SHOOSH!” Gable stands Cedric up but Cedric mule kicks back. Cedric runs, handsprings, but into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Cedric flounders and Gable shouts, “A THANK YEW~!”

Gable tags Otis, the fans fire up and Otis struts. Gable cravats Cedric, Otis runs and CLOBBERS Cedric! Fans fire up but MVP protests. Cedric tags Shelton and he fires forearms on Otis! Shelton whips but Otis blocks! Otis whips, Shelton LARIATS, but Otis stays up! Shelton runs but Otis scoops! Shelton slips free to ROUNDHOUSE! Otis staggers, Shelton runs in to STEP- UP- NO!! Otis carries Shelton out for a WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM! Fans fire up with the tree trunk and he runs, to SPLASH! Fans rally while Shelton sputters, but Otis CLUBS him on the back. Otis whips Shelton corner to corner hard and Shelton falls to the mat!

Fans rally behind Otis and he brings Shelton up. Shelton kicks but Otis blocks, and Otis spins Shelton around, only for the DRAGON WHIP to hit! Otis staggers around, Shelton runs in but into another SLAM! Otis drags Shelton up, puts him in a corner, and then runs in, only to get buckles! MVP coaches Shelton and he crawls, but so does Otis! Hot tags to Gable and Cedric! Cedric rallies on Gable, runs in to forearm smash int he corner, then snapmare and BASEMENT DROPKICK! MVP is fired up with Cedric and Cedric whips. Gable reverses, Cedric goes up and over. Things keep moving, NEURALIZER!

Gable flops out of the ring, Cedric builds speed! Cedric DIVES, but into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Gable puts Cedric in while MVP shouts to shake it off! Gable is up top, for the DIVING HEADBUTT! Cover, Shelton breaks it! Otis CLUBS Shelton, throws him to a corner, and then runs in, only to get more buckles! STEP-UP KNEE! And then another STEP-UP KNEE! And a SAMOAN DROP!?! Fans are thunderous after that, but Gable KNEES Shelton out! Cedric is up, Gable CLOBBERS him! Gable goes up top, to MOONSAULT! Cedric avoids it, back suplex, LUMBAR CHECK!! Cover, Cedric & Shelton win!

Winners: Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin, by pinfall

MVP is all fired up! He celebrates with his guys, is this the revival of the Hurt Business?

 

Backstage interview with The Miz.

Cathy Kelley knows The A-Lister was caught off guard last week by Rick Boogs, but what is his reaction to that return? His reaction? Miz will gladly give it to Pearce, along with a bill for the damages to his $10,000 suit that Maryse bought Miz! Who makes someone compete in a suit?! And as far as “Boogs” goes, what? He’s supposed to be impressed that Boogs can bench press 500 pounds and play the electric guitar? But speaking of, here comes Boogs! Uh, how did he get a meeting before The Miz? Oh, of course, he’s special, right? Wow, Boogs is special? Thanks, Miz.

But Boogs is just excited to be reunited with the Boogs Crew in the WWE Universe. The Boogs Crew? Oh, cut the humble crap. Miz would’ve won easily, if he was dressed and ready. Boogs got luck and he knows it, but he’s also lucky that Pearce is a lazy and incompetent official. Because if it was different and Miz was ready, it would’ve been a different story! Pearce walks up behind Miz and says, “Tell me how you really feel.” Miz sighs and smiles at Pearce. Pearce says that if Miz wants a rematch with Boogs, all he had to do was ask. In fact, how about next week? Boogs says that is righteous! THICK RICK VS The Miz, he’s so excited! Rick “Boogs out” on his exercise bar!

Miz looks at Pearce, then frowns as he walks away. But then Chelsea walks back in. She’s about to go to the ring, so she wants him to find an opponent, or she will call his boss. Okay thanks, bye~! The Hot Mess heads out, but who will Pearce send out to face her?

 

Chelsea Green VS ???

“Shh… It’s Chelsea.” Orlando has mixed feelings as The Hot Mess struts her way to the ring in her first singles match since coming back to the WWE. She’s already got an ego over the fact that she is back, but is she going to be ready for her opponent tonight? Because her opponent is ASUKA!!

Wait, is that Raquel Rodriguez in the crowd? Big Mami Cool snuck in from SmackDown to watch Raw in person, and she’s distracting Asuka! The bell rings and Chelsea SHOTGUNS Asuka down! Chelsea CLUBS away on Asuka, but now we see Natalya sneaking in from the other side! And Liv Morgan! Chelsea dribbles Asuka off the mat, brings her up, and shushes her, before she SLAPS her! Mella struts her way back out, since all the Chamber entrants are here. Chelsea BOOTS Asuka into buckles! Chelsea drags Asuka up, clinches, picks her up, COMPLETE SHOT! Chelsea sees everyone else and asks if they all watched that.

Chelsea says SHE should be in the Chamber, not “whatever this is,” in reference to Mella. Chelsea goes back to Asuka, kicks dirt, and also talks trash on Natty. Wait, Nikki sneaks out here now? Nikki laughs at Chelsea. Chelsea says if Nikki wants crazy, she’ll give her crazy! Chelsea also talks trash on Liv and Raquel. But Asuka gest back up! Chelsea senses something is wrong, and Asuka eggs her on in Japanese! Chelsea swings, misses, and Asuka fires off a strike fest! URAKEN! URAKEN! SOBAT! FRONT KICK! URAKEN and HEEL KICK! GERMAN SUPLEX! BUZZSAW! Chelsea wants a time-out!

Chelsea gets to a corner, Asuka runs in, but Chelsea BOOTS her! Chelsea runs in, into a CODE BREAKER, which Asuka then turns into a DOUBLE ARMBAR!!! Chelsea verbally quits, Asuka wins!

Winner: Asuka, by submission

The Empress of Tomorrow stands tall tonight, and she makes sure to look her future opponents in the eye. But then BIANCA BELAIR appears! The RawEST Women’s Champion is here, and she tells them all, “I want all of y’all to take a good look at each other and tell me what you see. Cuz I’ll tell you what I see. I see six top tier women in the WWE.” Fans cheer that. “But… Who has what it takes to win the Elimination Chamber match? Who has what it takes to go one on one with the EST of WWE? Because last year, I was in your position. I know what it’s like to be in an Elimination Chamber match, and I know what it takes to win. That’s how I got this.”

Bianca holds up the title, and says, “I want to wish each and every one of you good luck. Because whoever makes it out… I’ll be ready to see you at WrestleMania.” The EST has sent her message to all her potential contenders, but just who will survive the Chamber to meet Bianca in Hollywood?

 

Cody Rhodes is here!

Orlando goes nuts again as the American Nightmare makes his way to the ring. Fans chant Cody’s name as he gets the mic. “So, what do you guys wanna talk about? Hmm… Last week, I used my interview time to come out here and talk to you with respect about my current WrestleMania opponent, The Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the biggest superstar in the world, the Best in the World, Roman Reigns.” Fans boo Roman, then chant for “SAMI! SAMI!” So they just read Cody’s mind. Cody did say “current.” Cody’s path to WrestleMania is straight and clear, but the destination is foggy.

The reason being, Roman is putting the titles on the line at Elimination Chamber, “against a guy who has kicked up all the dust, a guy who has all the momentum, a guy that’s walking into his hometown, and that is Sami Zayn.” Fans cheer and chant for Sami and Cody continues. “You guys seem like a perfect judge for my next question. It looks more and more like at WrestleMania, it’s going to be me standing there, challenging for the championship against Sami Zayn.” Fans like the sound of that! Cody says this with the utmost respect. “I have respect for anyone avenging an injustice done to them. I have respect for my friend, Sami Zayn. I wish you the best of luck, may the best man win.”

But wait! “Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman. And I serve as Special Counsel, and The Wise Man, to YOUR Tribal Chief, the reigning! Defending! Undisputed! WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion, Roman…! Reigns!” Fans boo as Heyman continues into the ring. Fans chant “E C DUB!” and Heyman steps into the ring. Heyman tells Cody that something he may one day find out in life, “hopefully not at my expense, but one day, is that life at the very top in this industry requires an understanding that the only week busier than the week leading into a major event like the Royal Rumble, or watch the point, WrestleMania…

“Is the week coming out of a major event, like the Royal Rumble or WrestleMania. And I’m sure you know that the Tribal Chief and I have had a lot on our plates in the last week. And a few things fell through the cracks, admittedly, on the Island of Relevancy. One of which is the Tribal Chief and I, in front of the entire world, want to congratulate you on winning the 2023 WWE Men’s Royal Rumble match.” Cody and Heyman shake hands and Heyman says Cody earned it and that he’s very proud of Cody. Fans cheer that, and chant, “You Deserve It!”

Cody knows that his father had a nickname for Heyman, his brother had a nickname for Heyman. But if you’ll indulge Cody, Cody will go with “Mr. Heyman.” It is because Cody has “unparalleled respect” for Heyman and Heyman knows why. But if they’re going to pull back the curtain here, might as well pull it back for everyone here in the crowd and watching at home. This is a story that should’ve been told a long time ago. The year was 2000. The till in Cody’s family dried up a bit, and Hard Times was more than a famous promo. “Simply put, my family went broke.” $100 in a checking account for all of them.

To put a visual on it, Cody’s dad was doing local car commercials and not for money. Just so he could keep a car. Fans chant for Dusty now and Heyman gets emotional. “But then he got a phone call,” Cody continues. Heyman called Dusty. Heyman told Dusty that ECW as in town, that Steve Corino was gonna talk some smack, and that if Dusty would just agree to appear on camera, that if Dusty would be on ECW TV, Heyman “would pay him and pay him well.” Fans again chant for “E C DUB!” Cody says Heyman kept his word. In addition to the money that the Rhodes family sorely needed, ECW gave Dusty his confidence back, and Cody can never repay Heyman for that.

Flash forward a bit, and they might talk about it, but before coming back here, Cody was somewhere else, “causing a little bit of trouble.” From one disruptor in sports entertainment to another, Heyman showed Cody the way, so thank you again. Fans applaud that, and Heyman again gets emotional. Fans chant, “Thank You, Paul! Thank You, Paul!” Heyman says Cody is good. Cody really got Heyman there. Heyman was here to schmooze business with him, and Cody got him personally. Heyman sighs, fans cheer, and if we’re peeling back and shooting from the hip, let’s go all the way.

Heyman says this isn’t about him, and with all due respect and love and admiration and even acknowledgement, this isn’t about Dusty. This is about Cody, about everything Cody has fought for from the bottom to the top, out the door, back in, to winning the Rumble to main-eventing WrestleMania! “And winning WrestleMania is a whole different story. Just getting there is a long, long road.” And that’s Cody’s story. That’s Cody’s story that he needs to finish to find out if this is a dream come true, or if he must “suffer the nightmare of coming just this close.”

Because Cody isn’t just main-eventing WrestleMania, he’s trying to “take away from the greatest box office attraction and greatest champion of all time, Roman… Reigns.” Fans boo but Heyman says that’s no easy task for any mere mortal, let alone someone that has no idea what it’s like under that spotlight. Will Cody crumble and wither? Will he self-destruct under that pressure because no one ever prepared him for it? Heyman says down the road is the WWE Performance Center. At that very place, Cody’s father, the American Dream, Dusty Rhodes, trained and prepped the biggest stars of this generation.

Cody’s father, Dusty, trained and prepped Seth Rollins, trained and prepped Becky Lynch, trained and prepped Bayley, trained and prepped Kevin Owens, trained and prepped for the highest level of success, the Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. But do you know who Dusty didn’t train and prep? Dusty did not train nor prepare Cody. Cody tries to smile through that but Heyman says he could counsel Cody that maybe, just maybe, Dusty wanted Cody to make it on his own. That’s how much love Dusty had for him. That Dusty wanted Cody to step out of the shadow of a national monument such as the American Dream himself.

Perhaps Dusty didn’t want Cody going through life as “Dusty’s son,” but as Cody Rhodes, “WrestleMania Main Eventer Who Stopped the Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns.” Maybe. But Cody, Heyman can’t convey in words how much he loved Dusty. But he can say to Cody’s face that Dusty loved Cody. To share this personally, in Heyman’s last conversation with Dusty, Dusty told Heyman… “You, Cody, were his favorite son.” Cody and the fans aren’t sure what to make of that, but then Heyman adds, “But Roman Reigns was the son he always wanted.” Heyman drops the mic and fans cannot believe he just said that!

Cody rushes up on Heyman but Heyman backs away. Fans want Cody to go after Heyman but Heyman wants him to reconsider. Cody offers a handshake, then makes Heyman take it. “I’m just trying to win a wrestling championship, and everybody, everybody, wants to make it personal. And that’s what you just did, and you’re not gonna pay for it, Mr. Heyman. Your boy, Roman Reigns, is going to pay for it. At WrestleMania, when I take those titles, personally.” Cody pushes the mic into Heyman then heads out. Will Cody ironically be hoping Roman beats Sami Zayn at Elimination Chamber so he can be the one to tear the Tribal Chief down?

 

Elimination Chamber Match Qualifier: Elias VS Montez Ford!

There is just ONE spot left in the United States Championship match, and it comes down to The Drifter and the flyest high flyer WWE has seen in a long time! Will all of Montreal #WalkWithElias? Or will this Profit be up, looking for gold?

Raw returns and Elias makes his entrance while Austin Theory is on commentary. The bell rings and Elias circles with Ford. They tie up, and they are in a deadlock. They go around, Ford puts Elias in a corner but Elias turns it around. The ref counts, both men let off, and they reset. Ford and Elias tie up again, Elias headlocks and he grinds Ford down. Ford powers up but Elias holds tight. Ford tries again, but Elias still holds tight. Theory isn’t concerned about Elias’ level of aggression, because the person with aggression is him. Ford powers up and out, but Elias runs him over! Cover, TWO!

Elias stands Ford up but Ford rolls Elias up, TWO! Ford cradles, TWO! Elias headlocks again and he hits a takeover. Ford keeps his shoulder up, moves around, and fans rally. Theory likes Ford’s athleticism, and the move on his regimen, but he’s intrigued to face Elias since they’ve never met in a match. Ford fights up, powers out, and things speed up. Ford hurdles then runs Elias over! Ford DROPKICKS Elisa, and then Ford snarls as he whips. Elias reverses but Ford KICKS back! Ford runs in, but into a FLAPJACK HOTSHOT! Ford sputters to a corner and Elias storms up to CHOP, UPPERCUT and repeat!

Elias fires off, the ref counts, and Elias lets off. Elias then stomps Ford again, CHOPS him, and whips to back drop Ford! Ford bails out, Elias pursues, and Elias RAMS Ford into barriers! Elias then brings Ford up to STEEL STEPS BACK SUPLEX! Elias roars and fans are torn as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Elias has Ford in a motorcycle stretch. Ford endures, turns, but Elias drags him up into a waistlock. BACKBREAKER! Elias then goes to a corner and climbs up top, but Ford hops up after him! Ford fires haymakers, Elias throws body shots, and Elias CLUBS Ford down. Elias SUNSET FLIPS, but Ford holds onto the ropes! Fans fire up as Ford fights his way back up, and he ROCKS Elias with a right! Elias turns things into an Electric Chair Lift! SPINNING POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Theory says he thought that would end it, though he sounds a bit sarcastic.

Ford crawls to the apron and Elias storms over. Ford GAMANGIRIS Elias, ducks a haymaker, then bumps Elias off buckles to GAMANGIRI again! Ford goes back up, CROSSBODIES, and says “SUCK IT!” Ford rallies with clotheslines, then runs to LEAPING LARIAT! Elias staggers, Ford pumps up and hits a BIG back suplex! Kip up but Ford’s back tightens up. Ford powers through to STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Theory likes that Elias is still in this, but Ford brings Elias up. Elias CHOPS! ford ROCKS Elias with a right! Elias ROCKS Ford, but Ford ENZIGURIS! Ford runs, into the SYMPHO-KNEE!

Elias fireman’s carries for a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Cover, TWO! Ford survives and Elias grows frustrated. Theory doesn’t worry about the match, and goes on to talk trash on the other entrants. Theory thinks Johnny Gargano will be a stay-at-home dad, Bronson Reed probably can’t fit in a pod, but then gets mad at Kevin Patrick for bringing up the loss to Bronson back in their NXT days. Elias meanwhile RAMS Ford into a corner, RAMS him again, and again, and again! Elias backs off, runs in again, but Ford puts him on the apron! Elias shoulders in, slingshots, but into a HAYMAKER!

Elias flounders away, Ford goes corner to corner to FLY!! Direct hit and down goes Elias! Ford puts Elias in the ring and fans fire up! Ford goes up top, and leaps in FROM THE HEAVENS!! Cover, Ford wins!

Winner: Montez Ford, by pinfall (advances to the United States Championship Elimination Chamber match)

Ford takes the last spot, but Theory stands on the desk to hold up the title. Will Theory still have that title after the Elimination Chamber? Wait! SETH ROLLINS CLIPS THEROY! Theory hits the desk and Rollins laughs! Fans sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” before the CURB STOMP to the floor! The Now didn’t see The Visionary coming, will nothing and no one stop Rollins from winning in the Chamber?

 

Bayley talks with Damage CTRL backstage.

Dakota Kai is in crutches given what Becky Lynch did to her last week, but Bayley isn’t worry. She tells Kai & Sky the plan and prepares for the main event, which is up next!

 

Steel Cage: Bayley w/ Damage CTRL VS Becky Lynch!

The Role Model used Damage CTRL to take control away from The Man and deny us all this match on the Raw 30th Anniversary episode. But now, there’s no running from this, there’s no hiding from this, and there’s no getting around this! Will Bayley survive Becky’s Big Time wrath? Or will Becky leave Bayley behind just like when they were in NXT?

The bell rings, fans fire up, but Bayley smirks. Fans rally for Becky as she and Bayley circle. They feel things out, Bayley ROCKS Becky then climbs the wall! Becky yanks her down, she won’t let Bayley just run away like a coward. They talk trash, Bayley says Becky doesn’t tell her what to do or when to do it. Bayley shoves Becky, so Becky ROCKS Bayley! They go back and forth, Becky gets the edge, but Bayley kicks a leg out! Becky trips Bayley! Becky says she was going for the door, but that’s not how this is going down. Becky whips but Bayley turns it around, only for Becky to stop from hitting the steel.

Becky hits Bayley back, but Bayley also blocks hitting steel. Bayley elbows Becky away but Becky goes for an arm! Bayley and Becky go around, but Bayley throws Becky into the steel! Kai & Sky like what they see as Bayley sends Becky into more steel! Bayley stomps away on Becky, then digs her boots in! She also digs Becky into the frame of the cage! Fans boo but Bayley covers, ONE!! Becky is hanging tough, so Bayley decides to climb. Becky hurries over and dropkicks the cage to shake Bayley loose! Bayley falls to the mat, then Becky drags her up to RAM her into the steel! Becky drags Bayley up again to RAM her into more steel!

Becky runs to basement dropkick Bayley into the steel! And again! Becky stomps away on Bayley now, then pushes her face into the steel! “You think you can talk about my husband?! You think you can talk about my husband now, Bayley?!” Becky lets off, then drags Bayley up. Fans rally and Becky throws Bayley into more steel! Bayley drags herself out while Becky climbs the cage. Bayley hurries to anchor Becky, but Becky kicks her away. Bayley climbs up after Becky, but Becky kicks her again. Bayley anchors a foot, but Becky dribbles Bayley’s face off steel! Becky then adjusts, brings Bayley around, but Bayley RAMS Becky into steel!

Bayley dribbles Becky now, throws her off the ropes, then adjusts to MACHO ELBOW! Cover, TWO! Kai & Sky coach Bayley on as she has control, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns just as Becky kicks out of a cover! And she wants the arm! Bayley hurries to push Becky away, but Becky hits a FLYING FOREARM! Both women are down and Orlando fires up! Kai & Sky coaches Bayley as she and Becky both stand. The forearms go back and forth again! Fans rally behind Becky as she gets the edge, uppercuts and SOBATS! Becky runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges, and JUMP KICKS Bayley down! Becky whips Bayley to a corner, but Bayley uses that to get up the wall! Becky grabs Bayley’s legs to SLAM them against the steel! And again! Bayley holds on with her hands but Becky RAMS her into the steel again and again! SUPER JUMP KICK!

Bayley ends up slumped on the ropes, for Becky’s SUPER GUILLOTINE LEG DROP!! Cover, TWO!! Fans rally and Becky fires up. Kai & Sky plead with Bayley as she gets up, but Becky clinches. Bayley slips out of the slam to SAIDO! Cover, TWO!! Becky is still in this and fans fire up again! Bayley drags herself to ropes, climbs the cage, but Becky rises! Becky drags Bayley back down, has her draped on the ropes and TOSSES her into the steel! Becky runs, to drop a leg, brother! But Bayley turns it into a HEEL HOOK!! Becky flails, reaches out, and crawls her way to the door! Becky grabs the frame but Bayley drags her away!

Bayley stands Becky up but Becky rolls to send Bayley into buckles! Roll-up, TWO!! Back to the HEEL HOOK! Becky still crawls, they roll to ropes, and Becky SMACKS Bayley off steel! And again! And again! Bayley is dazed but Becky hobbles back up. Becky climbs a corner but Bayley anchors her foot. Becky kicks her away, but Bayley tries again. Becky kicks Bayley again, but Bayley hurries up after her! They brawl, Becky shoves Bayley away! Becky is on the top rope but Bayley CLUBS her! Bayley clubs after and they braw on the top rope! Bayley RAMS Becky into the steel, SUPER BAYLEY2BELLY!! Cover, TWO!?!

Kai & Sky can’t believe it, and neither can Orlando! Bayley stalks Becky, but then decides to climb the wall! Bayley reaches the top! Becky hurries up after Bayley, catches up to Bayley, and they brawl up top now! Fans rally as the haymakers go back and forth! Bayley SMACKS Becky off the top! But Becky grabs an arm! Becky uses that to drag herself back up, DISARM-HER ON TOP OF THE CAGE!!! Bayley slips free, gets caught up on the ropes, and flops to the mat! But Becky just adjusts, only for Sky to climb up after her! The Evil Genius brawls with Becky, and then she kicks Becky down into the ring! Kai sneaks a crutch to Bayley!

Bayley JAMS Becky with the crutch! But wait, is that LITA?!? The living legend is here and she goes up after Sky! Lita YANKS Sky right off the cage! Lita storms up on Kai and uses her other crutch to YANK her into steel steps! Lita JAMS Sky, reels her in, TWIST OF FATE to the floor!! Bayley is flabbergasted, but she hurries for the door! Fans are losing their minds as Lita SLAMS the door shut! Bayley staggers into a MANHANDLE SLAM!!! Cover, Becky wins!!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by pinfall

Becky had Big Time back-up, was this the ace in the hole she talked about? Did Lita help Becky put behind her Damage CTRL once and for all?


My Thoughts:

A great Raw, and full to the brim at that. Great opening segment with Edge, Beth and Judgment Day. I am glad they’re giving us that Mixed Tag for Elimination Chamber, but I was hoping they would make it Edge & Beth VS Rhea & Dom. But at the same time, if Dom was involved, it’d be obvious Dom would take the loss just so The Grit Couple can win without really hurting Rhea’s momentum. With Finn in that match instead, it could go either way. Rhea could beat Beth to win it while we see Edge and Finn set up a 1v1 rematch for WrestleMania. That’s two birds, one stone, so perhaps WWE will go with that.

I also like that they used the brawl that broke out to bring in the Profits. Dom taking the Glam Slam was beloved by all, and of course we go right into Dawkins VS Priest. Priest winning makes sense, he really is the workhorse Edge said he is, Priest will have a great showing in the Elimination Chamber. Elias VS Ford was great stuff, even with Theory on commentary. Theory wasn’t bad, but what does he really add talking himself up? At the same time, it was great for Rollins to drive-by Theory to get himself some momentum while not in the ring. And as I’d hoped, Ford is in the Chamber now, so get ready for a From the Heavens off a pod.

Corbin VS Lumis being a comparative squash was a bit of a surprise, but it leading to JBL dumping Corbin was also quite surprising. At the same time, something had to give. The WWE never books Corbin strong forever, which is why Corbin has been through more changes to his character these last few years than anyone else. I’m not sure what’ll get Corbin to the next level, if WWE even cares to do that. I still think they skipped through the Bum Ass Corbin stuff too soon, but that’s on Vince. Maybe Corbin will start trying to earn JBL’s respect like he needs it as validation for who he is.

And because HHH’s team is really clever, they gave us another “Easter egg” in a promo, with MVP talking with Cedric & Shelton before their match. Their match against Alpha Academy was pretty good, though it seemed clunky at the start. Commentary touched on it, I think Shelton was just not quite ready for how big and strong Otis was gonna run in there. But Shelton & Cedric win because clearly, the Hurt Business is on its way back. Lesnar and Lashley had a good promo together, and I’m a little surprised we’re getting that match at the Chamber. Maybe there will be something crazy that happens, compelling a WrestleMania match. Plus, from Lashley’s promo, he’s counting their Rumble match confrontation as part of the record, so the Chamber match would be round 4, making Mania round 5 and a tiebreaker of sorts.

Good backstage promos with Adam Pearce. Miz putting his foot in his mouth and ending up in a rematch with Boogs was good stuff. Officially signing MMM to Raw was a nice detail to help give us a reason we’re even watching Pearce, which sets up Chelsea “Karen Joke Punchline” Green complaining to him and getting a match. And seeing as how Chelsea avoided bringing Asuka up, it was perfect that she had to fight Asuka. It was a logical surprise to have the other women in the Elimination Chamber match show up, though I feel like Chelsea could’ve been faster about talking trash. Asuka wins, of course, and Bianca had a great promo calling out all the contenders.

Speaking of, the Fatal 4 was great stuff, and I suppose Mella winning is a good choice. She’s returning, she’s got momentum just on that, but she’ll surely be used to build up Asuka in that match. Mella had that segment with Asuka last week, Asuka will definitely mist and eliminate Mella. Asuka is definitely a frontrunner to win the Chamber, and this return to Kana in presentation has to mean Asuka’s going to WrestleMania. Piper threatening Candice and Mia was good stuff. Piper might get a partner to take them on at some point, but we can get some great 1v1 matches out of Piper VS Candice and Piper VS Mia.

Cody’s promo segment with Heyman was so good. I just knew Heyman was setting up that insult on Cody about Dusty wanting someone like Roman as a son, and it was still powerful. And while Sami Zayn is great, it of course gave the idea that WrestleMania’s main event will stay Roman VS Cody. Then we got a great main event in the Steel Cage match. Granted, it was the usual Steel Cage formula: throw each other into steel; keep each other from climbing up and out multiple times; Heel still has minions interfere. But I did like that Lita showed up to help Becky in a callback to their Crown Jewel match. Lita helping Becky win was good stuff cuz it was DMG CTRL facing karma, and fans got to see the legendary Lita celebrate with the iconic Becky. Hell, maybe we get some kind of tag match now so Lita can return to WrestleMania.

My Score: 8.7/10


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