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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (8/18/21)

HPW returns to Treasure Island!

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HPW Treasure Island 2

The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 18

Summer is almost over but it’s still hot in Hyrule! HPW returns to Treasure Island and all the gold is back on the line! Who will still reign after Eventide?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • HPW Death Mountain Championship: Gold Lynel VS Hinox; No Contest.
  • Eventide Challenge: Kage wins and will challenge for the Triforce Championship at Clash of Fates 2.
  • HPW Trios Championships: The uWo VS The Studly Guys; The uWo wins by disqualification and retain the titles.
  • HPW Termina Championship: Igos du Ikana VS Osphala; Osphala wins and becomes the new HPW Termina Champion.
  • HPW Goddess Championship: Zelda VS Lana; Zelda wins and retains the title.
  • HPW Triforce Championship: Link VS Yuga; Link wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

Once again, Eventide Island becomes the stage of a golden match card! All the titles are on the line, and just as big, the Eventide Challenge is back! After a 20 Person Battle Royal, your Eventide Six are Ghirahim, Master Stalfos, Hilda, Midna, Riju, and the Dark Force’s newest member, “Kage!” The Living Blade and the Twilight Princess had success over a year ago on Eventide, will one of them have it again? Or will someone else capture the prize and go after gold? Will that winner be targeting the Hero of Hyrule? Or will the underhanded Artist change the title picture completely? HPW Treasure Island 2 starts now!

 

HPW Death Mountain Championship: Gold Lynel VS Hinox!

All but tradition now, the One True Monster heads to the ring to open the show. But he doesn’t need to issue an open challenge because he accepted someone else’s challenge! The One Eyed, One Horned, Giant Blue People Eater wants some gold again in his career, but can he really conquer this undefeated beast?

The introductions are made, but Gold Lynel holds the belt up himself. Hinox points to the belt and says that’s going to be his. Lynel says, “Then here!” and he throws the belt to Hinox. Hinox catches it and Lynel RAMS Hinox into a corner! The bell rings and this battle of behemoths is on record! Lynel whips Hinox but Hinox reverses to LARIAT Lynel down!! Lynel’s barely been put on his heels in HPW and Hinox just took him off his hooves! Fans go nuts as Hinox covers, ONE!! Hinox grabs at Lynel but Lynel throws body shots. Lynel knees low, bearhugs, but Hinox is too big for a Belly2Belly! Hinox headbutts free, Lynel staggers, and Hinox whips him to the corner.

Hinox runs in to KNEE Lynel low, then CHOPS Lynel right in the chest! Fans fire up from the echo alone, and Hinox gets Lynel to stand back up, for another CHOP! Hinox gets Lynel up again, whips him corner to corner and runs in, but into boots! Lynel runs to clothesline, but Hinox stays up! Lynel runs again but into a back elbow! Lynel staggers again, Hinox runs in but Lynel dumps him out! Fans fire up as the ref looks to Hinox. Lynel goes out to stomp Hinox, CLUBS him, and kicks him as he gets up. Lynel CLUBS Hinox more, fans are right there to cheer and jeer, and Lynel whips. Hinox reverses and sends Lynel into steel steps! Hinox is making Gold Lynel look more like a chuchu!

Lynel clutches the arm that hit steps, but Hinox moves those steps aside. Hinox has to refresh the ref’s ring count before he goes after Lynel again. Hinox gets Lynel up and into the ring, follows after, and fans rally and duel, “Let’s go, Hinox!” “Hinox sucks!” Lynel kicks back, throws hands, then runs, but into a scoop and SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Hinox has done the unthinkable but still hasn’t won yet! Hinox looms over Lynel, KICKS him in the side of his horse body, then drags him by a front leg, into a HALF SAND CRAB! Lynel endures being all bent out of shape, fans rally and duel as Hinox sits deep! Lynel powers up, powers his way towards ropes, but Hinox pulls back on the leg!

Fans rally, Lynel pushes up and crawls, to the ropebreak! Fans cheer, the ref counts and Hinox lets go at 4. Hinox keeps his cool as he stalks Lynel to a corner. Hinox throws body shots, the ref counts and Hinox lets off but then stomps Lynel in the side. Hinox whips Lynle corner to corner but Lynel dodges! Lynel fires off hands, body shots, then whips. Hinox reverses again but Lynel turns that into a waistlock, for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans fire up as Lynel gets up. Lynel dares Hinox to get up, and Hinox stands, Lynel kicks low and fireman’s carries, but he falls over under Hinox’s tremendous weight! Fans rally up while both giants are down.

Lynel grits his teeth, getting mad that he’s having such a tough time. Hinox also gets up and is just as mad. Lynel kicks low first, but Hinox CLOBBERS him point blank! Hinox calls for the end, clamps a hand onto Lynel’s throat, but Lynel breaks free, kicks again and again and again. Lynel runs but into a BOOT! Lynel is down again, Hinox runs and drops the leg, brother! Cover, TWO!! Lynel survives but Hinox roars and raises his hand again! Hinox waits for Lynel to get himself up, choke grips, CHOKE SLAM!?!? Hinox just slammed Lynel!! Cover, TWO!??!? Hinox is in shock and the fans are going nuts! Hinox brings down the straps and gets Lynel back up!

Hinox choke grips again, brings Lynel towards ropes, and Hinox climbs the corner?! But Lynel breaks free and trips Hinox up! Lynel throws hands, Hinox wobbles, and Lynel climbs up to join him! Lynel CLUBS away on Hinox, and fans go nuts as he stands Hinox up! SUPERPLEX?!?! AND THE RING BREAKS!?!?! Fans are thunderous as this literally massive impact just shook the ring to its core! It shook the foundation! And if this were indoors, it might’ve brought the house down! The referee gets up to check on both men, and he calls for medics! HPW medical hurries out there as fans continue to chant, “HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T!”

Stretchers are brought out, but that might be tricky for Lynel and his horse body. Bigger than that, how is the show supposed to continue without a ring?! Well, the main thing is, this match is not continuing one way or another. Is this level of destruction only proof that Lynel is the One True Monster of fight sports?

No Contest

 

Backstage interview with the Ikana Royal Family.

While management is scrambling to figure out a fix, Irene is with Igos du Ikana, Stal-Kid, Captain Keeta, Sir Hurr & Sir Durr. Irene notes that the rest of the Ikana Royal Family will be barred from ringside to keep Igos VS Osphala a fair 1v1 match. Igos says it wouldn’t matter, he will defeat Osphala again as he has before. But that other time- He will defeat Osphala again as he has before. “A gleaming yellow light isn’t enough to shine brighter than the sun. Osphala will never vanquish me.” Stal-Kid speaks up and says the UnderWorld Order and Studly Guys need to be ready. The Ikana Royal Family will be coming back for another shot for those Trios Championships, too. Can the Ruler of Ruin stay golden and lead his knights into the Fall?

 

Eventide Challenge: Ghirahim VS Master Stalfos VS Hilda VS Midna VS Riju VS Kage!

Given the ring collapsing in the opener, the match card has been rearranged! This match only needs the ring as a starting and finish line, so the Living Blade, Super Bone Soldier, Her Grace, the Twilight Princess, the Desert Flower’s tiny leader and the Dark Force’s newest member will fight without it! Who will return with the prize and a free ride to the Triforce Championship?

Stalfos has Master Kohga and Garo Master accompany him, the same as Riju has Aveil and Bularia, and as Kage has Volga, Gibdo and Wizzro. Referee Tiger Sahasrahla wants all the extra wrestlers to leave but Kohga and Wizzro both point out that the Eventide Challenge is No Disqualifications, and it’s not like he can keep them from interfering along the route to Koholint Rock. Sahasrahla concedes that point, and the bell rings. And a brawl breaks out with these seven extra bodies! Ghirahim CHOPS Kohga, Midna BOOTS Aveil, Gibdo brawls with Stalfos and Kage fires off forearms on Garo! Hilda tries to slip away but Wizzro is in her way! Hilda LOW BLOWS Wizzro!!

Hilda leaves Wizzro twitching on the floor, but Bularia gives Riju a lift and TOSSES her at Hilda! CROSSBODY takes down Hilda at the start of the trail! Volga ENZIGURIS Garo into Kage’s SUPERKICK! Stalfos DECKS Gibdo, CLOBBERS Volga, and then swings on Kage. Kage gets around to mule kick a leg out, then HOOK SHOTS him! Gibdo PLANKING SPLASHES Stalfos to keep him down while Kage heads for the trail. Midna CHOP BLOCKS Bularia, CHOPS Riju, then storms after Kage. Ghirahim uses the barrier to jump and GHIRA CUTTER Volga, and then he moves on up the trail.

Kohga and Garo drag Gibdo off of Stalfos and mug him. Volga gets up to KNEE Stalfos back down! Kohga ENZIGURIS Volga and Garo helps Stalfos stand back up to head to the trail. Hilda gets up and sees Riju down. Hilda stomps and kicks Riju but Aveil CANNONBALLS in from the apron! Fans fire up as Aveil and Bularia get Hilda up. Riju gets up but Ravio runs in! Only for Riju to BACK HAND him down! Hilda jumps up to DOUBLE STUNNER! Riju and Hilda stare down, and then they both run up the trail! They keep shoving each other since only one of them can be last. Drone cameras come into play as Kage leads the way towards the tree line.

Ghirahim is fast and overtakes Midna to go after Kage. Kage slows up to swing on Ghirahim but Ghirahim slips around and shoves him at Midna! Midna DECKS Kage with a forearm then storms after Ghirahim. Kage shakes his head as he sits up and he sees Stalfos and Garo heading up the trail. Kage somersaults and gets Garo with a COMPLETE SHOT! Stalfos goes after Kage and they brawl with forearms. Kage ROCKS Stalfos, Stalfos fires up, but Kage SUPERKICKS! Stalfos staggers into a BLADERUNNER! Kage leaves Stalfos behind to hurry after Ghirahim and Midna, and now Riju and Hilda catch up.

Ghirahim slows up to watch out for fallen branches but Midna uses that to BODY CHECK him into a bush! Ghirahim throws a fit while trying to get back up. Midna throws branches aside to try and clear a path but that allows Kage to catch up. He gets a branch, breaks off the twigs and basically has himself a wooden club! Ghirahim gets up only for Kage to JAM him in the ribs with the branch, and then SMACK on the back with it! Ghirahim falls over and writhes, and Kage sees Riju and Hilda running up. Kage THROWS the branch at them, but they both duck it! Riju rolls but Kage blocks her capoeria kick. Hilda mule kicks Kage, Riju turns blocked kick into headscissors!

Kage tumbles down the hill a little, but then Hilda SLAPS Riju and reels her in for HER CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT! The Hammerlock DDT also sends Riju tumbling down, and Hilda hurries after Midna. Midna back elbows Hilda away, CHOPS her, then throws her into bushes! Ghirahim crawls but Midna sees him and stomps on him! Riju comes storming up the hill and SHOTGUN dropkicks Midna down! Riju gets up and steps on Midna, but Midna grabs Riju’s foot. Riju kicks at Midna but Midna holds on. Ghirahim hobbles up and heads forward but Riju grabs at him. Ghirahim slaps her hands away and gets mad so he CHOPS Riju in the chest!

Stalfos storms up on Kage at the bottom of the hill and POUNCES him away! Then Stalfos gets up the hill and storms after Ghirahim. Ghirahim lets out a yelp as he gets POUNCED back into the bush! Midna gets up and CLUBS Stalfos on the back. Stalfos staggers, swings a punch but Midna blocks it to ROCK Stalfos with a counter punch! Midna throws more hands, Stalfos shoves her away but Midna BOOTS him down! Midna looks up the trail to see Hilda got up ahead! She must’ve crawled through the bushes! Midna hurries after her, with Riju crawling to follow after Midna. Hilda and Midna are the first to reach the summit! And they see Gold Lynel brawling with Hinox?!

How’re these two behemoths back up after what happened earlier?! And why’re they fighting again?! And more over, they’re in the way of the prize! Hinox SMACKS Lynel with a barrel and it shatters! Lynel roars and rears up to DOUBLE BOOT him into a table! Midna and Hilda dare each other to be the first one to try and go over there while this is going on. Riju crawls up and is shocked to see Hinox and Lynel throwing fast and furious fists! Hilda and Midna notice Riju, and they both have the same idea! They pick Riju up and double ROCKET LAUNCH her at Lynel! Riju lands on Lynel’s horse body and is stuck! Lynel looks over his shoulder at her and she nervously chuckles.

Lynel bucks Riju up onto a his shoulders! Then he military presses and TOSSES her at Hinox! Hinox catches Riju, then tosses her back to Lynel! Lynel tosses her aside, but that gets her closer to the prize! The plan backfired for Midna and Hilda! They rush in, Hinox and Lynel spot them, and the glares of these two monsters stop Midna and Hilda in their tracks! Midna shoves Hilda at them! Hilda screams as she falls over and curls up in a ball! Lynel and Hinox scoff, Riju grabs the golden ball, and scampers past the giants to head downhill! Midna sees Riju and goes around Hinox and Lynel to chase after her!

Midna gains speed going down hill after Riju! They reach the bottom and they’re met by Bularia, Aveil and Gibdo! Riju and Midna crash right into them and tumble to a stop! Where’s the gold ball?! It ended up a few feet away! Riju scrambles up but Midna hits TWILIGHT SLEEP! Midna gets up and gets the ball and storms her way through the bleachers. But now Volga and Wizzro stand in her way! The ring’s foundation has been restored, so all Midna has to do is get past them and get onto that to win. Midna stands off with Wizzro and Volga, but Master Kohga and Garo Master spring up from behind! Kohga gives Wizzro a SAIDO and Garo gives Volga a HALF ‘N’ HALF SUPLEX!

Midna BOOTS Kohga down and CHOPS Garo! Midna heads for the ring but Kage SUPERKICKS her down! Where’d Kage even come from?! Midna drops the ball, Kage picks it up and hops up into the ring! Kage wins!!

Winner: Kage (inaugural Mr. Eventide; NEW #1 Contender to the HPW Triforce Championship)

Fans go nuts and many boo as a shadow is now cast over Eventide! And King of Hyrule, Nicolas Foolyere, walks out to congratulate Kage on his win. “And for those wondering when and where Kage will challenge for the Triforce Championship, it will be at Clash of Fates 2! Yes, HPW returns to the Hyrule Coliseum in October! Get your tickets starting tomorrow!” Foolyere waves and exits, and Kage looks at the golden ball. Kage nods and leaves. We know when and where, but who will Kage face for the title?

 

HPW Trios Championships: The uWo VS The Studly Guys!

The UnderWorld Order has been carving up the Trios Division since joining forces, and things come full circle for “Hollywood” ReDead. He was with the Dark Forces just last year, they defended these very titles in the original Treasure Island event, and lost to Forged By Violence. But now, with Death Sword and Gomess by his side, can ReDead redeem himself in his own eyes? Or will Groose, Tingle and Skull Kid be their demise?

The moment the uWo are in the ring, Skull Kid wants at them! Groose holds him back and Tingle tries to calm him down but he’s that fired up! The introductions are quickly made, the belts are raised, and Death Sword starts for the champions. As for the challengers, Groose wants to start but Skull Kid gets loose! Skull Kid jumps at Death Sword and throws hands, and the referee has no choice but the ring the bell! Groose is upset but Tingle points out how Skull Kid is taking the fight to Death Sword! But then Death Sword grabs him with both hands and lifts him up! Only for Skull Kid to KNEE him in the face!

Death Sword lets Skull Kid go and staggers back! Skull Kid lands on his feet to KICK and KICK and KICK Death Sword in the leg! Death Sword hobbles around but then he ROCKS Skull Kid with a forearm! Skull Kid staggers to a corner, Death Sword runs in and RAMS a shoulder into him! Death Sword then gets Skull Kid up to the top rope, but Skull Kid fires off haymakers from above! Death Sword CHOPS Skull Kid back and Skull Kid sways! Death Sword swings his own haymaker, but Skull Kid catches it to a HANGING ARMBAR! The ref counts, Skull Kid lets go at 4 and Death Sword hurries away. Skull Kid aims from the apron, springboards in and MISSILE DROPKICKS Death Sword down! Cover, TWO!

Fans are shocked but fired up as Skull Kid has Death Sword on the defensive! Skull Kid stomps and stomps and stomps Death Sword, but Hollywood ReDead shouts at the “little weirdo!” That gets Skull Kid’s attention, and though that giant heart mask covers up his face, it’s as if his glare can be felt in the air! Skull Kid stares ReDead down, and then suddenly rushes over! ReDead gets away, Skull Kid is flailing and possibly even cursing, but it’s hard to tell because he’s basically growling at the same time. But Death Sword creeps up behind him, waistlocks and GERMAN SUPLEXES! But Skull Kid lands on his feet?! Since when was he this agile?!

Death Sword stares Skull Kid down as he slowly turns around, and then Skull Kid flips him off! Kick and STUNNER!? But Skull Kid is wasting time talking trash right in Death Sword’s face! Groose and Tingle shout at him to cover, Skull Kid does, TWO as Death Sword sits up! And he has Skull Kid in a choke grip! Skull Kid tries to break free but Death Sword stands and CHOKE SLAMS Skull Kid down! Cover, TWO!??! Skull Kid survived!? But he isn’t moving much now, maybe that was just his body’s instinct. Death Sword is shocked and he looks at the ref like he didn’t count right, but the ref says he was doing a fair count.

Death Sword drags Skull Kid like a rag doll over to the uWo corner. Death Sword tags in Gomess and Gomess drags Skull Kid up to his feet. Gomess laughs as he slaps Skull Kid on the back of the head, and then watches him fall over in a heap. Gomess looms over Skull Kid, but then Skull Kid does a strange, scorpion-tail like somersault?! Skull Kid’s feet go up and over his own head and shoulders so that he stands up by essentially unfurling! And even the UnderWorld Order is freaked out! And with a waddling stagger, Skull Kid hot tags Groose! Fans go wild as The Skyfall Stud rallies on Gomess! And DECKS Death Sword! Hollywood ReDead gets away before he gets hit.

Gross watches Gomess stagger up, reels him into a clinch, but Gomess fights free with elbows. Gomess fires off CHOP after CHOP after CHOP and has Groose on the ropes. ReDead tags in as Gomess whips Groose to ropes. Groose ducks Gomess’ clothesline but runs right into ReDead’s DDT! Cover, ONE, and ReDead hammers away on Groose in anger. ReDead stomps Groose, drags him over to the uWo corner, then tags in Gomess. Gomess stomps Groose more, drags him up to his feet and CHOPS him in the corner. Tag to Death Sword, he chokes Groose against the buckles! The ref counts, Death Sword lets off, but he distracts the ref so the others can choke Groose!

Fans boo but the uWo get away with the choking as Death Sword drags Groose out of the corner. Death Sword jumps for a big elbow drop! Cover, TWO! Groose hits from below, fighting his way to his feet. Groose throws body shot after body shot, after body shot, after body shot! Death Sword is against the ropes as Groose fires up! Groose runs side to side, Tingle tags in and Groose ROCKS Death Sword with a running forearm! Groose comes back the other way to ROCK Death Sword again! Tingle climbs up, Groose picks him up for a trophy lift, ELEVATED SPLASH onto Death Sword! Cover, TWO and Tingle goes flying! Tingle hurries to his feet to HIP ATTACK Death Sword!

Tingle sees ReDead running in and dodges him to hit the ropes. Tingle comes back to HIP ATTACK ReDead! ReDead tumbles out, Gomess jumps in and kicks Tingle low. Gomess whips, Tingle holds the ropes and taunts Gomess. Gomess storms over but Tingle dumps him out! Tingle gets moving as Gomess gets back up. Gomess jumps up and over the top rope as Tingle baseball slides out. Gomess resets and aims, PLANCHA but Tingle moves out of the way! Gomess lands on his feet and Tingle HIP ATTACKS him down! But then Death Sword drags Tingle into the ring from under the bottom rope! Death Sword then two hand TOSSES Tingle over his head!

Skull Kid runs in and jumps on Death Sword! Skull Kid throws wild hands and fans are going wild seeing it! Death Sword throws Skull Kid off his back but Skull Kid comes right back! The ref reprimands Skull Kid since he’s not the legal man, but Skull Kid clubs at Death Sword’s leg. Death Sword clubs Skull Kid on the back, they keep brawling, Gomess and Groose get back in the ring and join in! The ref reprimands them all as they move along the ropes. Groose brings Gomess around for the RIGHT HAND OF THE GODDESS! Death Sword choke grips Groose for a CHOKE SLAM BACKBREAKER! Skull Kid “skins the cat” to the top rope for a missile dropkick to Death Sword!

Fans are fired up with Skull Kid, but the ref is still telling him to leave as he’s not the legal team member! Skull Kid yells at the ref and the ref hurries away, which makes fans laugh, then Skull Kid drags Death Sword up. Death Sword is the uWo’s legal member, and Skull Kid HEADBUTTS him! And again, and again, and again! And again, and again! Skull Kid keeps going as the ref reprimands him again and even starts counting! The ref gets to FIVE, and calls for the bell!!

Winners: The UnderWorld Order, by disqualification (still HPW Trios Champions)

Skull Kid doesn’t even care, he keeps giving Death Sword those vicious headbutts! ReDead gets in to BOOT Skull Kid down! ReDead runs to the ropes, perhaps not knowing nor caring that the match is over in his own right! ReDead drops the leg, but Skull Kid dodges it! Skull Kid BUZZSAWS ReDead down! Gomess slowly sits up, BUZZSAW! Skull Kid roars and flails his arms while fans are losing their minds! Groose and Tingle try to talk him down but he looks ready to hit them, too! Skull Kid then takes a few deep breaths and seems to calm down. He looks around at the downed uWo, then faints!? Everyone is stunned but not everyone is silent seeing this.

The ref checks on Skull Kid and he’s barely responding. Groose and Tingle carefully get him out of the ring and take him to the back. The uWo regroups, titles in hand, but other refs come out to make sure they don’t pursue the Studly Guys. Just what did we witness happen with Skull Kid and his new mask? Will the uWo be able to move on and worry about different challengers?

 

HPW Termina Championship: Igos du Ikana VS Osphala!

The clocks of Termina remember all time, so this is a fitting rematch. Eight months ago, the Ruler of Ruin established this title within the Hyrule Pro-Wrestling pantheon at the expense of the Gleaming Yellow Light. There was controversy that day, but all things happen in their own time. Will Osphala redeem himself for his loss at HyruleMania? Or will Igos have another trick up his sleeve to keep his throne?

HyruleProWrestling TerminaChampionship

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and with this truly 1v1, we see who truly is the superior!

Fans rally up pretty quickly at the bell. “OS-PHA-LA!” “TER-MI-NA!” duel as the two stare down. They slowly circle then approach. They feel out the grapple, and Osphala narrowly avoids a middle kick from Igos. Osphala smirks but Igos still scowls as they circle more. They feel the grapple out again, Osphala shoots in after a leg but Igos sprawls to block. Igos facelocks, grins Osphala down, but Osphala spins out to have a wristlock. Igos rolls, kicks Osphala from below, then drags him down to go after the arm. Osphala rolls, goes for a facelock but Igos fights that off and KICKS Osphala in the chest. The fans cheer as Osphala stays up and the two stand off.

Osphala and Igos approach again, and they go with double knuckle locks. They have a test of strength as they go shoulder to shoulder. Igos has height on his side for leverage, but Osphala drops to then bring Igos down with him! Osphala rolls back, has an arm trapped and goes for the other. Igos kicks with his legs to move around, and he gets a ropebreak! Osphala lets off as referee Tiger Sahasrahla counts and gives Igos space. Igos takes his time getting up and even dusts himself off before he resets with Osphala. They tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, push each other in a deadlock, then Igos wrenches an arm and grinds an elbow into Osphala’s shoulder.

Osphala endures as Igos cranks back on the arm. Fans rally and Osphala moves around, but Igos pulls on the fingers! Osphala grits his teeth, rolls and gets Igos to a cradle! TWO, and Igos KICKS Osphala in the chest, but Osphala stays up! Osphala eggs Igos on and Igos KICKS him again! And again! And again! Fans fire up as Osphala dares Igos to go again! Igos winds up his kick, but then JABS Osphala! Igos headlocks, punches Osphala again, then pie faces Osphala into a corner. Igos dares Osphala to egg him on now, then ROCKS him with a haymaker! Osphala hits back but Igos windmills more haymakers and body shots into him! Igos only stops because Sahasrahla counts to 4.

Igos soaks up the heat while simply staring Osphala down. Osphala keeps his cool as he gets out of the corner and approaches Igos. They feel out the grapple again, Osphala shoots in and around to waistlock but Igos blocks the lift. Igos throws back elbows, Osphala ducks one and NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, ONE as Igos bridges up! Igos spins things to a backslide, Osphala rolls through, but Igos goes for double underhooks! Osphala flails to resist the butterfly suplex, Igos throws in hard knees, then Igos hits the BUTTERFLY SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Igos seethes as he looms over Osphala. But even on the mat, Osphala pie faces Igos back! Fans go nuts while Igos glares daggers!

Igos drags Osphala up to his feet, clinches and throws knee after knee after knee after knee! They end up on ropes, Sahasrahla calls for the ropebreak and starts to count, but Igos tops it off with a JUMPING KNEE into Osphala’s face! Osphala flounders against ropes, Igos throws forearms over and over to put him into a corner, and then Igos runs corner to corner. Igos comes back to BOOT Osphala in the corner, then he keeps going! Igos goes Around the World for another BOOT! Fans react to the spit flying from Osphala’s mouth as he sputters and falls! Igos drags Osphala to a cover, TWO!! Osphala barely holds on but he’s still in this!

Fans rally up for Osphala but Igos looms over him again. Igos gives toying kicks as Osphala tries to sit up, and Igos even scuffs the sole of his boot in Osphala’s face. Fans boo Igos but Igos sits Osphala up to scrape his laces off Osphala’s face! Sahasrahla reprimands but Igos already got away with it so he doesn’t care. Igos lifts Osphala with his foot, and fans anticipate him wanting the Elegy of the End. Igos gets Osphala up to his feet then spins back, but Osphala goes Matrix to duck the Elegy! Osphala then handsprings forward, jumps up and gets Igos with falling ax handle! Fans fire up with Osphala and he runs to the ropes, comes back and SHOOTING STARS! Cover, TWO!

Osphala powers up as he gets back to his feet! Igos sits up to get a KICK! Osphala shouts for Igos to sit up again, and Igos does, to get another KICK! And another kick! And another kick! Osphala is returning those kicks from earlier with interest! But Igos catches one and stands up, glaring at Osphala. Osphala enziguris but Igos ducks it, only for Osphala to come back with a heel kick! Igos staggers, Osphala hurries to his feet and reels Igos in, for a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Osphala grits his teeth in frustration, but Igos grabs him for a DRAGON SLEEPER! Igos pulls back as hard as he can while Osphala flails and reaches out!

Fans rally and chant for “OS-PHA-LA! OS-PHA-LA!” as he endures the dragon sleeper. Igos tries to get the body scissors but Osphala is holding that off. Osphala reaches out with a foot and is so close to the ropes! Igos gives up on the body scissors and drags Osphala away from the ropes! Igos pulls back even harder on the hold now, and Osphala is fading! Fans rally harder while Sahasrahla checks on Osphala. The hand drops once and Osphala fans chant as hard as they can. The hand drops- No, it stays up! Osphala gets a second wind! Osphala fights up to his feet and snapmares Igos, but Igos just shifts from sleeper to cravat!

Igos jumps but Osphala shoves Igos away to avoid the stunner! Igos rebounds off ropes into an ENZIGURI! Osphala gets up, ELEGY OF EMPTINESS?! Osphala falls down, but so does Igos! Both men are down and fans are losing their minds! “This is Awesome!” but still not done as Sahasrahla checks both men. They’re both still conscious and stirring, so this match continues! Sahasrahla waits a moment, then starts a standing count! Fans rally, chant and duel hard as they have all night as Igos and Osphala slowly sit up. The two crawl over to each other so the count stops. Osphala and Igos glare and stand up while the fans keep that thunderous energy.

Osphala suddenly ROCKS Igos with a forearm! Igos staggers but stays up and fans are loving this already! Igos ROCKS Osphala with a forearm in return, and Osphala staggers back. Osphala comes back, lines up his shot, and ROCKS Igos again! Igos doesn’t wait as long this time to come back and ROCK Osphala. Osphala hobbles but he comes back with a forearm, then a GoroUppercut, then a ROLLING ELBOW! Fans fire up as Osphala rallies on Igos with big forearm after big forearm! Osphala whips, Igos reverses but Osphala breaks free to fire off his phenomenal strike fest! Igos ducks the back hand, ELEGY-

NO! Osphala goes Matrix again! But Igos sweeps the legs! And then drops double knees into Osphala’s chest! Cover, TWO! Igos drags Osphala right back up, fires off his Ikana Rush strike fest, but Osphala avoids the spinning knee! Osphala mule kicks Igos then rolls off Igos’ back to get to a waistlock! GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans fire up and Osphala is still holding on! Igos reaches for ropes, but Osphala drags him away and gets him up for a HIGH ANGLE GERMAN! Bridging cover, TWO!! But Osphala has Igos’ arm! Osphala ripcords Igos out to reel him back in for a facelock! Suplex and SAND ROD!!! Cover, OSPHALA WINS!

Winner: Osphala, by pinfall (NEW HPW Termina Champion)

Igos du Ikana has been dethroned! The Gleaming Yellow Light now shines with gold! And HPW has its second-ever Termina Champion! The Ikana Royal Family storms out to the ring but Igos has them stand down. Igos stares at Osphala as Osphala now has the belt. Igos then takes a long look at the belt itself, then he silently exits the ring. The Ikana Royal Family are confused but they follow Igos out all the same. When and where will the Ruler of Ruin come back for his crown? And will Osphala still reign when it is time to revisit this grudge?

 

HPW Goddess Championship: Zelda VS Lana!

The Princess of Hyrule was the inaugural Eventide Challenge winner, but clearly she did not take THE Triforce Championship for her own. However, she is still reigning over Hyrule, looking to go undefeated on Treasure Island! But after overcoming her sister, will nothing stop the Blue Haired Goddess from adding gold to her ensemble?

Speaking of ensembles, Lana wears a blue and silver tank top with silver tights and a blue sash belt. In a way, it is like Zelda’s gear last year, the “Pirate Princess” outfit. As for Zelda, she’s taken that very outfit from last year and modified it to have her metallic blue from her Sheik costumes. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and one more title match sets sail!

Fans rally and duel as Zelda and Lana circle and approach. Lana offers a fist bump, Zelda accepts it and the fans applaud the sportsmanship. The two feel out the grapple, Lana very aware that Zelda is strong in technical skill as winner of the Triforce of Wisdom in last year’s tournament. Even so, Zelda manages to corner Lana and goes in after a leg. They end up in the corner, referee Maron Ronron has them separate for the ropebreak, and Zelda stands up straight and tall as she waits on Lana. Lana comes out of the corner and fans cheer again as the two reset. They circle, approach, and tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, only for Zelda to get the headlock.

Zelda grinds Lana down, hits the takeover, and even fights off Lana’s attempt at the headscissors. Zelda traps one of Lana’s arms but Lana still tries for the headscissors. Zelda cranks the headlock, then goes after Lana’s arm for a short arm scissor. Lana endures and fans rally as she fights to sit up. Zelda uses Lana’s momentum to turn her for an omoplata, but Lana scrambles to roll free and get away. Fans cheer the technical exchange, and even Zelda nods respect as she and Lana reset again. Lana holds up one hand, calling for a test of strength. Zelda matches but then Lana changes hands. Zelda stands up tall again as she knows that trick, but then Lana gets her in a headlock!

Lana grinds Zelda, throws her with the takeover, but Zelda gets the headscissors right away. Zelda holds tight as Lana tries to break free, and even pushes up for leverage. Fans rally and duel as Lana endures again. Lana moves around, hops around, and pops out to stand on her feet. Lana does a shoulder shimmy, which fans applaud, but Zelda gets her with a body scissors to a roll up! TWO, and Zelda makes sure to be right in Lana’s face when she shows how close that was. Lana huffs but keeps her cool as she and Zelda go again. Another collar ‘n’ elbow, they go around the ring, along the ropes, and almost spill out to the floor!

Maron calls for the ropebreak but Zelda turns things back around. Zelda lets off slowly and she stares Lana down, almost daring her to try something. Lana just stays still, so Zelda backs off more. Fans cheer that this is staying respectful, but it is clearly getting tense. Zelda and Lana reset again, Lana shoots in for a leg, then quickly shifts to a waistlock. Zelda hooks a leg to prevent a lift, then pries at the waistlock. Zelda wrenches an arm, hits an ELBOW BREAKER, then wrenches again for another ELBOW BREAKER! Zelda hammerlocks and goes for the Impa Lock! Lana drops down and wants a victory roll but Zelda turns that into a cover of her own! TWO and Lana bails out!

Zelda watches Lana closely, a slight smirk on her face, while Lana paces to keep her cool. Maron starts a ring count as Lana goes around the way. Zelda taunts Lana just a bit, saying the count only goes to 10. The count reaches 5, Lana approaches the apron and Zelda gives her space. The count is 7 as Lana gets up and in, and fans cheer more as this match continues. Lana and Zelda tie right up, Lana wrenches but Zelda wrenches back. Zelda hammerlocks, Lana slips through to hammerlock Zelda, but Zelda switches back. Lana reaches back for a headlock but Zelda hits her in the side to fight that off.

Zelda cranks the hammerlock, but Lana does a cartwheel to slip out! And then PELES Zelda away! Lana kips up as Zelda rebounds off the ropes, Lana hits a CUTTER on Zelda!! Cover, TWO!! Zelda survives but everyone is shocked Lana got that close, including Lana! Fans are getting fired up as Lana drags Zelda up. Lana throws forearm after forearm as she has Zelda on the ropes. Maron reprimands and counts, Lana lets off to run, and she SHOTGUN dropkicks Zelda! Cover, TWO! Lana looks around quickly, trying to think of what to do next. Lana hurries and runs to the ropes to LYNEL-SAULT! But onto Zelda’s knees! Zelda saves herself at the last second!

Zelda keeps her cool as she stalks Lana to a corner. Lana drags herself up the ropes, Zelda reels her in, POISON-RANA! Lana staggers and Zelda goes up and up and METEORAS Lana down! Cover, TWO, but Zelda keeps hold of a leg! Zelda uses that leg to drag Lana back and into the IMPA LOCK!! Lana flails, reaches, but she’s too far from ropes! Lana taps, Zelda wins!

Winner: Zelda, by submission (still HPW Goddess Championship)

The Princess of Hyrule is still the champion of the Women’s Division! Lana put up a valiant effort, but she’s perhaps still several years from dethroning Zelda. But Zelda shows Lana the respect she earned here today, will we see these two face each other again some day?

 

HPW Triforce Championship: Link VS Yuga!

The Hero of Hyrule and The Artist have met before, such as in the inaugural Triforce Tournament that would eventually be won by Link. Link is now a two-time Triforce Champion, will Yuga take creative license and end this newest reign? Or will the title picture stay completely untouched?

WrestlingTitle Hylian

The introductions are made, and surprisingly, Ganondorf makes his way out now? This isn’t a Triple Threat, is it? No, no announcement like that is being made, so perhaps the Gerudo Ace has other reasons for being out here. Either way, the title is raised, and Treasure Island 2’s main event begin!

Fans are of course strongly chanting, “LET’S GO, LINK! LET’S GO LINK!” even though Link stands very still and stares at Yuga. Yuga gets antsy and upset and he tells the fans to shut up, but that only makes the fans boo Yuga. Yuga seethes as he turns his attention to Link and shouts, “This is all your fault!” Link frowns and shrugs, since there’s nothing he can do about it anyway. Yuga huffs and puffs and rushes in, but he immediately puts on the brakes the second Link shows Superkick! Fans laugh as Yuga scurries away, and that only upsets Yuga more. Yuga tells the fans to shut up again but now they chant, “Yuga is a ba~by~! Yuga is a ba~by~!”

Yuga yells at the fans to stop with that chant, but then he turns around and SUPERKICK! Link brings Yuga around and suplexes for the FALCON ARROW! Link drags Yuga into a drop zone and goes up the corner, but Yuga bails out. Fans boo while Yuga seethes, but Link hops down to the apron. Yuga turns around and Link leaps for a flying forearm! Fans fire up as Link stands over Yuga and drags him back up. Link CHOPS Yuga against the apron while Tiger Sahasrahla starts a ring count. Link CHOPS Yuga again, shoves him into the ring at 4 of 10 then goes back to the corner. Yuga crawls away from the corner, so Link again has to hop down.

Link stalks behind Yuga, then grabs the waistband of Yuga’s tights. Yuga panics as Link drags him up, and Yuga elbows free of the waistlock. Yuga CLUBS Link on the back, whips him to ropes, but Link reverses. Link arm-drags Yuga, then again, but Yuga blocks the third arm-drag. Yuga reels Link into a cobra twist! Link endures and fans rally, and Link gets a leg free to hip toss Yuga down! Yuga staggers up and Link CHOPS him again! Then ROCKS him with a forearm! Then CHOPS again! Link CHOPS and ROCKS Yuga into a corner then keeps firing off forearms until Sahasrahla counts 4. Link whips Yuga corner to corner, but Yuga reverses and SPLASHES Link in the corner!

Yuga whips Link corner to corner and SPLASHES again! Yuga keeps moving, and rebounds off ropes to CLOBBER Link with a back elbow! Fans boo but Yuga eggs them on now as he stands Link back up. Yuga uses a cravat to wrench Link’s neck, then snapmares him down to jam a knee Link’s back. Yuga clamps on a chinlock and grinds Link down but Link endures again. Link fights up as the fans rally, but Yuga gives Link a BACKBREAKER to keep him down! Cover, TWO! Yuga throws elbows into Link’s shoulders over and over, then sits him up to run and basement BOOT him down! Yuga covers again, TWO! Fans taunt Yuga now, “Yuga is a lo~ser! Yuga is a lo~ser!”

Yuga gets mad at the fans again, he drags Link up and claws his face! Sahasrahla reprimands and fans boo but Yuga lets go to “apologize” to the ref. Yuga then RAMS Link into the corner, RAMS his shoulder in more, then rolls back to run in again and RAM Link again! Link sits down, Yuga digs his boots in, but Yuga lets off as Sahasrahla counts. Yuga runs side to side to BOOT WASH Link! Yuga drags Link from the corner to cover, TWO! Link sputters and crawls to ropes, and Yuga stands on his back to choke him on the ropes! Sahasrahla reprimands and counts, Yuga stops at 4, but the he kicks the rope to jam Link in the throat! Fans boo but Yuga soaks up the heat.

Sahasrahla checks on Link but Link refuses to let this stop him. Link gets up but Yuga kicks him low. Now Yuga has Link in a corner and he chokes him with both hands! Sahasrahla counts and Yuga lets go with one hand. But that means the other is still choking Link! Yuga uses both hands again, Sahasrahla counts but Yuga lets go with just one hand again. Sahasrahla says that’s still not the problem! Yuga lets off completely and then back elbows Link! Fans boo and Yuga soaks up the heat again while Link flounders along the ropes. Yuga CLUBS Link into the other corner, then sweeps the legs. Yuga runs side to side, but Link slips out of the ring, and Yuga gets caught in the ropes!

Fans chant, “You Deserve It!” at Yuga while he clutches his leg. Link gets back in the ring and basement dropkicks Yuga in the corner! Link drags Yuga back up and reels him in for a suplex, for the QUAKE MEDALLION! Cover, TWO! But Link has the wrists! LIGHT- NO, Yuga ducks under and then rolls Link with a sunset flip! TWO, Link jackknife bridges, TWO! Link fakes Yuga out with a Superkick to then get him for a COMPLETE SHOT! Link gets Yuga up again, but Yuga shoves out of Bladerunner! Link ends up on the apron, but Yuga BLASTS him off and into the railing! Ganondorf is right there in the front row and laughs at Link’s crash ‘n’ burn.

Yuga goes out to fetch Link but he’s wary of Ganondorf being right there. Ganondorf tells him he should be worried, and Yuga keeps his distance. Yuga goes back into the ring just to refresh Sahasrahla’s ring count, then he fetches Link from the opposite side of where Ganondorf is standing. Yuga bumps Link off the apron, keeps looking at Ganondorf, then pushes Link into the ring. Yuga takes his time going up the steps so that he can keep an eye on Ganondorf. Ganondorf just smirks at Yuga and Yuga gets upset. Yuga yells at Ganondorf, but turns around as Link runs in! Link BLASTS Yuga off the apron and into railing! Ganondorf laughs even harder seeing Yuga crash.

Link watches Yuga stagger up to his feet then builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit and Yuga is sent into railing again! Link wants a high-five from Ganondorf but Ganondorf flips him off instead. Fans try not to laugh, but then Link flips Ganondorf off in return! Fans go “WHOA~!” but Ganondorf laughs it off. Link drags Yuga up and gets him back in the ring. Link climbs the corner again, takes aim at Yuga and hits FIRE ARROW! Cover off the corkscrew shooting star, TWO!! Yuga sputters but survives, only for Link to run in! Yuga ducks the shining wizard but Link comes back with the BOOMERANG! Fans fire up as Link drags Yuga up for BLADERUNNER!

Link gets Yuga’s wrists and sits him up, but Yuga is mostly dead weight. Sahasrahla has Link let off while he checks Yuga. Yuga is smirking, he’s playing possum! Link wants to finish this but Sahasrahla still wants to check Yuga. Link gets impatient and pushes past Sahasrahla to stand Yuga up. But Yuga throat chops Link! Then rolls him up, and holds tights! TWO!! Yuga panics since his “brilliant” plan backfired! Link still sputters so Yuga CLUBS him on the back and wraps on a SLEEPER! Link backs Yuga into buckles, Sahasrahla calls for the ropebreak but Link snapmares free. MASTER SWORD!

Yuga staggers from the pump knee and ends up turned around. Link still grabs Yuga’s wrists but holds his arms back behind him? BLINDSIDE LIGHT ARROW!!! Link pushes Yuga over to cover him, Link wins!

Winner: Link, by pinfall (still HPW Triforce Champion)

Yuga couldn’t dodge what he couldn’t see! Link is still on top, and even Ganondorf has to applaud the performance here tonight. Ganondorf leaves from where he is in the crowd, but someone else is making their way out! It’s Kage! And he’s still holding onto the Eventide Challenge prize! Kage gets in the ring with Link and stares him down. Fans are already fired up for this match-up, but we’re surely not getting it here, are we? Link and Kage hold up their prizes, at least showing each other some respect here. Wait, Kage takes off his mask?! Why is he-

Wait, why does he look so much like Link?! Even Link is shocked seeing a reflection of himself, just with darker hair, standing before him! Who is this “Kage” really? And is he going to cast a long shadow over HPW once he faces the Hero of Hyrule for the title?


My Thoughts:

Okay I know I didn’t get this finished before it published, but my personal life and personal health being what they were just days before 8/18, it could not be helped. But just as I am dedicated to covering real world wrestling, even in truncated formats, I am still willing to keep Hyrule Pro-Wrestling going for all our enjoyment. Also, if it isn’t clear, “Kage” meaning “shadow” was setting up Link VS Shadow Link this whole time. That won’t be happening in September’s event, and September’s event is going to take me a minute to put together, from when it will be to what will even happen. But I will do my very best to get a September HPW article figured out, I promise that.


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Bandwagon Nerds #144: Ezra Miller is Trash

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Bandwagon Nerds
Bandwagon Nerds #144: Ezra Miller is Trash

This week on the Bandwagon, Patrick O’Dowd and David Ungar revisit the state of DC film projects discussing the Ezra Miller problems, more rumors surrounding show cancellations and who could be next to lead DC films.  Marvel makes a milestone casting decision.  And they continue the Bandwagon Nerds review of Umbrella Academy Season 3!

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Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Cannons – Fever Dream (2022)

The JAR decides to kick back on a summer day and just vibe to some electro synthwave. How does Cannons album Fever Dream fair against the judgment?

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The magic of random YouTube recommendations strikes again! Upon rummaging through many different genres including indigenous folk pop (yes I know what I said), assortments of metal, some country and random soundtracks…it tells me about this little Retro Synthwave group out of California.

Being around for about a decade, they have a very interesting indie sound. So I’m late to the party, as per usual with the random YouTube recommendations. An ethereal retro dream pop sound is definitely how I would describe what I’ve heard before noticing they had a 2022 album, and it would be an easy thing to cover. So it’s time to work away from Heavy Metal for a little and just chill out.

Cannons is: Michelle Joy Lewis (vocals), Ryan Clapham (guitar) & Paul Davis (bass & keyboard)

  • Artist: Cannons
  • Album: Fever Dream (2022)
  • Label: Columbia Records
  • Total Track Time: 38:28

Come Alive very simple and defined bassline with the drum kick keyboard effect. It has a very hypnotizing vibe of like driving down the highway and just getting lulled to sleep by the lights. With the lyrics talking about being alone for a while, and dreaming about the other person, it fits that driving towards a destination vibe. Very chill and groovy. Hurricane was actually the song that YouTube recommended to me. The chorus is catchy; “Coming back like a hurricane, I’m gonna take you higher, On a cloud of silver haze, I wanna take you higher, Away, away, away”, and the music sways like the calmest wind in the world. So the concept of taking someone away and wanting to rearrange their surroundings I feel is more of a positive winds of change than the usual violent hurricane analogy. The song is cool, even if the lyrics don’t quite fit. Strangers a very 80s synth rhythm section to this song. Like it feels like a Rockwell song. Atmospherically it feels like spiraling down, which seems to work for the sea of strangers gimmick and getting lost in the sound. So it grooves nicely, but at least it’s slightly faster than the hypnotic tones they’ve taken so far.

Tunnel of You immediately had me think Chris Isaak Wicked Game. It’s got a distant hollowed guitar tone and starts off very somber and has that same elongated strum that Wicked Game has. It’s definitely got that cute yet reflective vibe to the lyrics as well, “Hey, why don’t you come around? I miss you, babe, Stay and lift me up, don’t let me hit the ground, ‘Cause I’ve been walking past midnight, And I’ve been talking to the moon about you”. A weird, somewhat melancholic portraying of falling in love or still being in love but something has or will cause things to fall apart. Bad Dream definitely has more of that 80s electro bop to it. A simple song about going to a show where you liked a person, but someone got to them before you could, so you’re living a bad dream. All of the nice elements to make for a great 80s montage of driving away upset you lost your shot with the person you liked. Ruthless okay this still has the expected echo effect on the vocals and the general feeling of the song, but the bassline, bass drum kicks and clap sections definitely give it more of a Duran Duran kind of vibe. Still well within the wheelhouse, but I’m honestly glad they move into a few different tempos and colors for songs from time to time. Also I will say, the way she says “fuck you” in the chorus has a cuteness to the degree of the Lily Allen song Fuck You. 

Only You is a sweet song. On an album with a few hit or miss love opportunities, some break ups, something done to a Waltz tempo about feeling better with someone special is nice. “Sometimes, I feel dizzy, Sometimes, I’m a mess, Sometimes, I feel stupid, Sometimes, I forget, Sometimes, I feel amazing, But never too often // Unless I’m with you, It could only be you, And when I’m with you, Nothing else will do, ‘Cause it could only be you”, most of us can relate to this song, and the stripped down, Cloud 9, Beach Boys arrangement is just really nice. Goodbye immediately jumps to the dissolution of a relationship. So we go from sweet, to a song that feels like riding off into the sunset and never looking back; “Come back and work it out with me, It’s plain to see, I need you, but do you need me?, Come back and work it out with me, I’m on my knees, I need you, but do you need me”. Just kinda vibing to the desert highway red sunset feeling the song gives off. Purple Sun okay so this was the second song I heard, and immediately loved it. Conjures up so many colors and vibes of 311 Amber, that I honestly decided to cover the album, purely because of this song. Lyrically it feels like she’s come to terms with just having fun with the other person even if the feelings aren’t deep anymore, but it’s just a song where you grab a Mojito, lay out and relax.

Afterglow is actually really perfectly titled. It has that nice moonlit after “the romance” vibe. And the lyrics seem to echo that where the narrator is willing to follow the lover into sun and hold them in the afterglow. The album does a really good job at applying similar concepts with enough of a different vibe to get things across. Break ups with venom, heartbreak, first loves, missed opportunities, unrequited love, all while staying in that Retro Synthwave genre comfortably. Lightning has a similar concept to the previous song, but this feels much more positive and less dreamy. “Cause you are the only thing I’ve ever gotten right, Nothing comes close, you’re the only one I’m letting inside, ‘Cause you are the only thing I’ve ever gotten right, Nothing comes close, you’re the only one I need in this life”, they are such simple lyrics but they work well. The song in general is also acoustic which I wasn’t expecting and was devoid of a lot of the synth effects, but that also makes it more vulnerable and sweet. So very well done on capturing the essence of the song instead of just trying to force it into a genre box.

What more can I say, that I didn’t already get across in the review? If you like the lofi chill vibe, synthwave or just generally that electro reggae-ish kinda groove, this is your jam. If you need more teeth or triplets or mid bar tempo changes into polyrhythmic syncopations…dude go away I covered Meshuggah months ago.

Legitimately though, it’s a cool album, it’s evocative, catchy and an easy listen at less than 40 minutes. You know, I’m just gonna be having fun…underneath the Purple Sun.

 

Final Judgment: 8.25/10


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