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Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 31 Results & Report! (10/7/21)

Round 6, A Block!

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NJPW G1 Climax 31

Is the NJPW landscape shifting?

The top of A Block has been shaken up! Will Shingo Takagi, Great-O-Khan or Zack Sabre Jr. make a recovery to head back for the top of the G1 Climax?

NOTE: NJPW no longer wants to feed AXS TV now that it is with Anthem and Impact Wrestling. But never fear, I will cover NJPW in the spirit of AXS in providing the most important matches of the show.

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Kota Ibushi VS Tanga Loa w/ Jado; Ibushi wins.
  • Zack Sabre Jr. VS Yujiro Takahashi w/ Pieter; ZSJ wins.
  • Toru Yano VS Shingo Takagi; Takagi wins.
  • Tomohiro Ishii VS Great-O-Khan; Ishii wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current A Block standings!

Zack Sabre Jr: 4-1, 8 points
Kenta: 4-2, 8 points [has special singles by]
Great-O-Khan: 4-2, 8 points
Kota Ibushi: 4-2, 8 points
Shingo Takagi: 3-2, 6 points
Toru Yano: 3-2, 6 points
Tomohiro Ishii: 3-3, 6 points
Tanga Loa: 2-3, 4 points
Yujiro Takahashi: 2-3, 4 points

 

Kota Ibushi VS Tanga Loa w/ Jado!

The Golden Star slayed The Dragon in last round’s main event! Will he continue his comeback and shine in the Sun Plaza? Or will the Silverback go Ape Shit on him and bring Ibushi back to earth?

Jado and Loa Low Sweet and fans cheer. The bell rings and fans rally up, “I-BU-SHI! I-BU-SHI!” as he and Loa circle. They approach, feel things out, and then back away. They approach, tie up, and Loa puts Ibushi on the ropes. The ref calls for the ropebreak and Loa lets of clean, which fans cheer. Jado gives some Loa some coaching and fans rally back up as Loa circles with Ibushi again. They tie up, Ibushi gets a headlock, Loa pulls hair then powers out, but Ibushi rams shoulders. Neither falls and fans cheer as things speed up. Loa drops, hurdles and dropkicks! Loa gets a headlock takeover and he grinds Ibushi down. Fans rally up as Ibushi gets to his feet.

Loa grinds the headlock harder, Ibushi powers out, but Loa runs him over with a shoulder. Loa wags his finger, speeds things up, and Ibushi hurdles to dropkick back! Fans fire up and rally as Loa bails out. Ibushi aims and roars into the PLANCHA! Direct hit and down goes Loa! Ibushi grabs at Loa but Loa resists. Ibushi gets Loa up, whips him hard into railing, and then runs in, into a SPEAR! Loa and Ibushi are both down and the fans fire back up. A ring count starts, but it’s 5 of 20 before Loa sits up. The count is 10 of 20 before Loa stands up and brings Ibushi around. Loa throws a forearm, Ibushi staggers about, Loa bounces him off the apron at 15 of 20.

Loa gets Ibushi up, APRON BACK SUPLEX! Loa slingshots in at 19 of 20 for a senton! And then hits a STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Loa is frustrated but fans fire up seeing his agility. Another cover, TWO! Loa clamps on with a chinlock and grinds Ibushi into the mat. Ibushi endures, fights and kicks his way around, and gets the ropebreak with a foot! Loa lets go, to CHOKE Ibushi! The ref reprimands, Loa lets off and he drags Ibushi up. Loa ROCKS Ibushi with a forearm, headbutts him in the back, then whips him corner to corner to clothesline! Loa whips back the other way and clotheslines again! Then he reels Ibushi in for a T-BONE SUPLEX! Cover, TWO!

Loa argues with the ref but the count is fair. Fans rally, Loa paces and he brings Ibushi up. Ibushi throws a forearm but Loa throws it forearm back! Ibushi throws another, but Loa gives it back again. Ibushi fires off several forearms then eggs Loa on. Loa kicks low and suplexes, but Ibushi slips out to waistlock. Loa elbows free, runs but into a BOOT! He roars and runs in again, into another boot! Loa rebounds to boot, Ibushi comes back with a JUMPING KICK! Both men are down, fans rally up and Ibushi stands. Ibushi fires off fast hands and a sobat! Loa falls over, Ibushi aims as he gets to a corner. Ibushi runs in but into a BOOT! Ibushi staggers, wobbles, but manages a POWERSLAM!

Ibushi somersaults to the corner, MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally and Ibushi wags his finger now. Ibushi drags Loa up and half nelsons. Loa resists the suplex, elbows free, wrenches and kicks to knee and ENZIGURI! Then a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Cover, TWO! Ibushi survives and Loa is beside himself! Loa gets Ibushi back up and reels him in, but Ibushi slips out of the bomb to kick low. Ibushi reels Loa in now and lifts, SIT-OUT BOMB! Cover, TWO! Loa survives but Ibushi vows to end this. Fans rally, “I-BU-SHI!” as he gets the wrists. Ibushi sits Loa up, but Loa blocks. Loa reels Ibushi into a fireman’s carry but Ibushi slips out to get both wrists!

Ibushi kicks Loa’s legs out, but Loa powers up to block the Kami-Goye! Loa turns things around, and STEALS THE BLINDSIDE KAMIGOYE!!! Fans are thunderous as both men are down again! Loa gets himself to ropes, drags himself up, and goes back to Ibushi. Loa reels him in, gets him up, SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Ibushi survives and Loa can’t believe it! Ibushi crawls to a corner and slowly gets up. Loa storms in, waistlocks and GERMAN SUPLEXES! But Ibushi rises?! Ibushi dodges Loa to GERMAN SUPLEX! But Loa stands back up, too! And he BLOCKS the V-Trigger! Loa spins Ibushi around to POISON-RANA!! How is he doing this?!

But Ibushi is right up to POISON-RANA, TOO!! Ibushi’s wasn’t as clean but fans are still thunderous over it! Ibushi and Loa slowly rise, and Ibushi aims from a corner. He calls upon the powers of Strong Style, runs in, BOMAYE! But he’s not done there! He gets the wrists, sits Loa up, but Loa SPEARS POINT BLANK!! And he gets Ibushi up, scoops, APE- NO! Ibushi slips off, gut wrenches and TOMBSTONES! Then he gets the wrists, KAMIGOYE!! Cover, Ibushi wins!

Winner: Kota Ibushi, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Loa earns 0)

Gold still beats silver as Golden Star outshines Silverback! Will Loa be stuck near the bottom of the G1? Will Ibushi find his way back to the finals?

 

Zack Sabre Jr. VS Yujiro Takahashi w/ Pieter!

The Submission Master tried but failed to make the Stone Pitbull #JustTapOut, but one loss is not enough to derail him. Will the Tokyo Pimp look to add to ZSJ’s woes? Or will he simply be used to get ZSJ back up?

Pieter and Yujiro Low Sweet and the bell rings. Yujiro talks a little smack but ZSJ gives it back as fans rally up. The two circle, feel things out, and Yujiro shoots in but ZSJ quickly gets around to a waistlock. Yujiro tries but can’t get away, ZSJ high stacks but Yujiro keeps his shoulders up. ZSJ floats to a lateral press but Yujiro moves around. ZSJ forces Yujiro to a lateral press this time, gets the cover, ONE! Fans cheer as the two reset and go again. They feel out a grapple, Yujiro waistlocks then shoves ZSJ at the ref! ZSJ stops himself, and blocks the low blow! ZSJ wrenches the arm and has the wristlock but Yujiro gets the ropebreak. Fans cheer as ZSJ lets off cleanly.

Yujiro gets back up, he and ZSJ circle and the two feel things out again. ZSJ waistlocks, Yujiro grabs at the ref but ZSJ blocks his low blow mule kick to an ANKLE LOCK! Yujiro scrambles and gets the ropebreak! ZSJ complains about the low blow attempts but he does let Yujiro go. Yujiro bails out to check on his leg, then gets up on the apron. ZSJ runs in but Yujiro blocks the boot to ROCK ZSJ with a forearm! Yujiro then shoulders in, but ZSJ catches him to a KIMURA! The ref counts because they’re in the ropes, ZSJ lets go at 4. Yujiro flops back to the floor and ZSJ goes out after him. ZSJ drags Yujiro up, and wrenches the arm to then bend the wrist and elbow.

ZSJ brings Yujiro around, RAMS the arm into the apron, then puts Yujiro in. ZSJ slides in, then BOOTS the bad arm! Yujiro sits up but ZSJ BOOTS the bad arm again. Fans rally, ZSJ kicks but Yujiro stays up. Yujiro blocks the boot, and BITES the foot?! Is that even doing anything with the shoe on? Yujiro still throws ZSJ down and runs to basement BOOT! ZSJ bails out now to check his face but Yujiro goes out. Yujiro drags ZSJ up, RAMS him into railing, and then Pieter sneaks Yujiro his pimp cane. Pieter distracts the ref and Yujiro stands ZSJ up to CANE SHOT him down! Yujiro puts the cane down and gets back in the ring, the ref unaware of what happened.

The ring count starts while ZSJ is down on the ramp. The count reaches 10 of 20 before ZSJ sits up. ZSJ stands, hurries over and slides in at 13. Yujiro storms up to him, snapmares ZSJ and throws forearms to keep him down. Yujiro sits ZSJ up and runs to basement BOOT! Cover, TWO! ZSJ goes to a corner, Yujiro brings him up and ROCKS him with a forearm! And KNEES him low! Yujiro whips corner to corner and runs in to BOOT ZSJ down! Cover, TWO! Fans rally and Yujiro brings ZSJ up to back suplex! Cover, TWO! ZSJ rolls away to ropes but Yujiro stalks him. Yujiro SLAPS ZSJ, so ZSJ gets up to EuroUpper! And again! And again!

Yujiro kicks low, whips, but ZSJ reverses to get the arm and TWEAK it! Yujiro kicks low again, fisherman but ZSJ fights out to wrench and WRING Yujiro out! Fans rally while Yujiro writhes and ZSJ gets the arm again. ZSJ bends Yujiro’s arm, going after the elbow. ZSJ wrenches and wrenches to double wristlock and STOMP the arm! Yujiro grits his teeth and clutches the elbow but ZSJ gets the arm again. ZSJ has a hammerlock, traps it, then pulls the other arm, recliner cradle! TWO, but ZSJ hammerlocks and TWISTS the bad arm! ZSJ sits on the arm, has a modified Disarmer but Yujiro gets a ropebreak with his foot. ZSJ lets go but kicks Yujiro all the way to the corner.

Yujiro stands, ZSJ runs in but Yujiro BOOTS him! ZSJ returns, Yujiro dodges, ZSJ goes up to tornado, but Yujiro denies the DDT. Yujiro hooks the leg but ZSJ wrenches out, only for Yujiro to duck the clothesline and reel ZSJ into a REVERSE DDT! Fans fire up as both men are down and Yujiro clutches his bad arm. Yujiro stands as fans rally and he drags ZSJ up. Yujiro puts ZSJ against the ropes to BOOT him down! Yujiro then brings ZSJ back up, fireman’s carries, but ZSJ turns that into a GUILLOTINE! But Yujiro powers up to power out, FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Yujiro keeps focus as he pushes ZSJ around.

Fans rally, Yujiro stands ZSJ up and reels him in, but ZSJ arm-drags to then ghost pin, TWO! Double wristlock and STOMP! Yujiro clutches his arm, ZSJ runs but Yujiro blocks the Penalty Kick! Yujiro throws ZSJ down, runs, but ZSJ avoids the boot! Yujiro blocks a boot, waistlocks but ZSJ wrenches out. Yujiro reverses the whip to INCOLLE SLAM! Fans fire up as both men are down again. Yujiro gets feeling in the bad arm, crawls over to ZSJ and brings him up. ZSJ ROUNDHOUSES the bad arm! Yujiro CHOPS with the good arm. ZSJ ROUNDHOUSES the bad arm, Yujiro CHOPS with the good arm! ZSJ ROUNDHOUSES, Yujiro CHOPS, repeat! Yujiro CHOPS again, ZSJ drops to a knee!

ZSJ comes back with a EuroUpper but Yujiro throws a forearm. ZSJ EuroUppers, Yujiro forearms, repeat, faster and faster! ZSJ wobbles and Yujiro fires off more forearms! Yujiro roars but ZSJ blocks to reel him in! IRON OCTOPUS! Yujiro powers out to a fireman’s carry! MIAMI SHINE!! Cover, TWO!! ZSJ survives and Yujiro can’t believe it! Fans rally up, Yujiro fires up and he stands ZSJ back up. ZSJ slips out of Pimp Juice, Yujiro forearms but ZSJ wrenches to PELE the bad arm! But Yujiro LARIATS with the good arm! Yujiro gets ZSJ back up and reels him back in, but still no Pimp Juice! ZSJ hooks for the backslide but Yujiro turns that around on him!

ZSJ rolls through, into PIMP JUICE!! Cover, TWO?!! Fans are fired up while Yujiro is shocked! Yujiro gets ZSJ back up, BIG- WRENCH! ZSJ has the Fujiwara, but Yujiro rolls through! ZSJ shifts position, KIMURA HEADSCISSORS! Then an INVERTED TRIANGLE! Yujiro taps, ZSJ wins!!

Winner: Zack Sabre Jr, by submission (gains 2 points; Yujiro earns 0)

The Tokyo Pimp could not outlast the vegan fueled Dangerous Tekker! Is Yujiro going to end up on the bottom of the block? Will ZSJ find himself right back on top again?

 

Toru Yano VS Shingo Takagi!

The Producer had his bye against Bushi and got himself a win, but the Dragon fell to the Golden Star! Will Yano add on and get a huge win over THE IWGP World Heavyweight Champion? Or will Takagi oddly get himself a shot at the KOPW 2021 trophy?

Yano’s long introduction is done, and Yano is impatient about the referee’s check. Takagi tells Yano to quit it already as he puts his jacket and world title belt aside. The bell rings and Yano quickly gets his baggie! Yano brings out another bag from within that bag, and it literally has Takagi’s name on it. Yano tosses the bag to Takagi and Takagi catches it. Is Yano trying to make this into a blindfold match? Takagi looks at the bag, and throws it away. Fans rally up, “TA-KA-GI! TA-KA-GI!” and Yano even puts his bag on! Yano waits on Takagi, Takagi says Yano better not try anything. Takagi turns away to put his bag on, and Yano takes his off! Yano rolls Takagi up, TWO!

Takagi takes the bag off and CLUBS Yano! Takagi makes Yano wear the blindfold and runs to run Yano over! Cover, TWO! Yano bails out and Takagi goes after him. Takagi kicks and clubs Yano, then whips. Yano reverses and sends Takagi into railing! Yano gets the bag off then sprays Takagi down! Yano also sprays the inside of the bag, making sure everything is disinfected. Then he puts the bag back on Takagi’s head, and then puts Takagi under the ring! The ring count is 5 of 20 as Yano goes back in and cheers. Takagi finds his way back out at 13 of 20, but he realizes he’s going into railing. He tries to find the ring, gets the blindfold off, and hurries in at 19!

Takagi stares Yano down, so Yano unties a buckle pad! Takagi attacks, whips Yano corner to corner, but Yano stops himself and unties that buckle pad! Takagi gets the other, and we have a standoff! Each man is “armed” with a pad, the ref tells them both to put those down, but Takagi dares Yano to bring it! The buckle pads clash, then Takagi disarms Yano! Takagi tosses his to Yano now, then hits him with a LARIAT! A Padded Bomber, if you will. The ref clears the ring of the loose pads and Takagi bumps Yano off the red corner. Takagi RAMS his shoulder in, then again. Takagi CHOPS then CHOPS then JABS! The ref counts, Takagi lets off, then brings Yano around.

Takagi scoops, SLAMS, and drops elbow after elbow! BACK SENTON! Cover, TWO! Takagi keeps his cool and fans rally up. Takagi drags Yano up, puts him against ropes and KNEES him low. The ref reprimands, Takagi lets off, and he whips Yano to ropes to KNEE him again! Then he suplexes high and hard! Cover, TWO! Takagi wraps on a chinlock and he grinds Yano into the mat. Yano fights, kicks around, but Takagi leans his weight on him. Yano reaches out and gets a ropebreak with a foot. Takagi gets Yano up, snapmares him back down, and drives elbows into the shoulder again and again. Takagi then stands on Yano’s head as fans rally up.

Takagi stomps Yano, kicks him around, then brings him up. Yano gets mad and they start shoving. Takagi forearms, Yano gives it back! Takagi likes that and hits Yano again. Yano hits back, the forearms keep flying and fans rally up. Takagi gets the edge but Yano ROCKS him! Yano runs and rams shoulders but Takagi stays up! Takagi swings, but into Yano’s Belly2Belly! Fans fire up while both men are down. Yano stands and gets Takagi up but Takagi LARIATS! Yano stays up, rebounds, into the ELBOW! JAB! YUKON- Hair pull! But Takagi pulls hair, too! The ref reprimands them both, but only Takagi lets go! Yano knees and whips Takagi, but Takagi reverses! Yano hits bare buckles!

Takagi wants to run in but Yano uses the ref as a shield! Yano shoves the ref at Takagi, who pushes the ref aside, but then Yano dodges and Takagi runs into bare buckles! Roll up, TWO!! Yano swings, Takagi gets around but Yano grabs the ref! LOW BLOW! M U!! TWO!! Takagi narrowly escapes and Yano can’t believe it! Yano shoves the ref again, then runs, but Takagi uses the ref back! PUMPING BOMBER!! Takagi drags Yano back up, puts his shirt over his face as a blindfold, SLIDING LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Yano survives but he can’t see as Takagi fires up, “OI! OI! OI!” Fans clap along, Takagi pump handles and torture racks, LAST OF THE DRAGONS!! Cover, Takagi wins!

Winner: Shingo Takagi, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Yano earns 0)

To add insult to injury, Takagi puts the blindfold on Yano’s head, with the shirt still up and over. And then he blows snot into the one with “Takagi” on it! So much for Yano’s gift. Will Yano have to worry about the Dragon coming for his KOPW trophy? Or will Takagi focus more on being the third-ever top champion to win the G1 finals?

 

Tomohiro Ishii VS Great-O-Khan!

The Stone Pitbull took a bite out of the Submission Master and his G1 win streak, but he’s still hungry for more! However, the Dominator was furious after Fang Revived beat him then tried to embarrass him. Will Khan’s wrath end Ishii’s attempt to #TurnItAllAround? Or will Ishii break through the iron claw?

The two stare down even before the bell but Red Shoes has them back away to their corners. The bell rings and fans cheer as the two tie up. They’re in a deadlock, going around in a circle at center. Khan has height but Ishii has width. Every step Khan pushes Ishii, Ishii pushes Khan back. Khan ends up getting the edge and he puts Ishii on ropes. Khan lets off but then bops Ishii on the head. Ishii shrugs that off to tie up again. Ishii headlocks and grinds Khan down, but Khan fights up. Khan powers out, Ishii rams shoulders but Khan doesn’t fall. Ishii goes again, another ram and it’s Ishii who staggers! Khan runs, rams Ishii but Ishii roars and fires a forearm!

Ishii runs, rams Khan again and again and again! Ishii keeps going, but Khan goes sideways to run Ishii over! Fans rally, “I-SHI-I!” “GREAT-O-KHAN!” as Khan stomps Ishii around. Khan kicks Ishii but Ishii gets up. Ishii choke grips but Khan forearms. Ishii forearms right back, and fans rally as the two go faster and faster! Ishii backs Khan down as they go then DECKS him! Fans cheer while Ishii leans on ropes to rest his arm. Ishii brings Khan up, CHOPS him, but his arm is bothering him. Ishii CHOPS Khan again but Khan grits his teeth. Ishii CHOPS again and Khan sits down! Ishii drags Khan up by his ponytail, but Khan grabs both ears!

Red Shoes reprimands, Khan kicks Ishii out of the ring. Khan goes out to CLUB Ishii on the back, then wrench and whip him into railing! Ishii falls in a heap and Khan goes over. Khan stands on Ishii’s head and digs his heel in as he shakes the railing! Khan lets off, a ring count starts, and Khan leaves Ishii outside. Ishii gets his bad arm moving and stands at 10 of 20. Ishii gets in at 12, Khan stomps him in the corner. Ishii eggs Khan on so Khan CHOKES him! Red Shoes reprimands, counts, and Khan lets off with his hands, only to use his knee to choke Ishii now. Red Shoes counts again, Khan lets off and fans rally back up.

Khan drags Ishii up by his ear, bumps him off buckles, then sits on top of Ishii. But Ishii slips out! So Khan hits DIVING MONGOLIAN CHOPS! Cover, ONE! Khan keeps his cool as he grabs the bad arm for a top wristlock. Ishii resists, Khan drags him around and has a modified Fujiwara! Ishii endures as Khan then traps the arm in leg scissors! Khan drives elbows into Ishii’s side then pulls on the arm. Ishii still endures, moves around, fights up and rolls to get free! But Khan gets the arm again in a double wristlock! Ishii rolls again and gets the ropebreak! Red Shoes counts, Khan lets go, but he STOMPS the bad arm!

Khan paces while Ishii clutches the elbow. Khan gives toying kicks now as fans rally. Ishii gets mad and eggs Khan on. Ishii leans into the kicks to then CHOP Khan! Khan knees low, whips Ishii to a corner, but Ishii comes back to RAM Khan! Khan stays up, runs and rams Ishii, but Ishii returns to run Khan over! Fans fire up as Ishii shakes out the bad arm. Ishii kicks Khan around now, then brings him up in a corner. Ishii CHOPS, forearms, CHOPS, forearms, repeat! Fans rally as he builds up speed sits Khan down! Ishii mockingly asks what’s wrong and fans cheer. Ishii drags Khan up, suplexes, and stalls for a few seconds before the SLAM! Cover, TWO!

Ishii keeps cool and he builds speed, but Khan arm-drags the lariat down! Fans fire up again as both men are back down. Khan drags Ishii back up, throws forearms, then Mongolian Chops in the corner. Khan whips corner to corner, then clotheslines from behind! Khan puts Ishii up top, Mongolian Chops him on the back, and has Ishii in the Tree of Woe! Khan digs his boot in, then goes corner to corner to hit the three point stance. Khan comes back to SLIDING BOOT! Ishii is still stuck in the Tree but Red Shoes works to free him. Khan paces and Ishii is finally out of the Tree, so he comes back to get the legs. Khan has the modified O’Conner, TWO!

Khan stomps Ishii, drags him up by his ear again, then whips him into the corner. Khan turns Ishii around and hops up top to sit on him after all. Khan literally rubs it in but hops off as Red Shoes counts. But Ishii steps up and COHPS Khan again! Khan shrugs it off? Khan CHOPS back, Ishii snarls and CHOPS again! Khan CHOPS, Ishii CHOPS, it’s becoming a CHOP fight! Ishii CHOPS, Khan CHOPS back, and Ishii takes a breath before he CHOPS again. Khan CHOPS, Ishii CHOPS, fans rally up as the CHOPS keep coming faster and faster! Ishii CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS and has Khan reeling, but then Khan MONGOLIAN CHOPS! And again! But then Ishii gets around, BACK SUPLEX!

Fans rally back up as both men are down. Ishii stands first, drags Khan up by his ears, but Khan throws a forearm. Ishii shakes his head so Khan forearms again. Ishii dares him to put some power into it and Khan throws more forearms, but still Ishii stays put! Ishii then ROCKS Khan with one! Khan roars back and puts his hands back! Ishii throws another forearm but Khan leans into them, much like Ishii would! Khan backs Ishii down and fans are thunderous! Khan then DECKS Ishii with one! Ishii slides down the buckle pad to flop to the mat! Fans rally up as Khan drags Ishii to his feet and puts him on the top rope.

Khan CHOPS Ishii again, climbs up to join him, and brings Ishii up. Ishii resists the superplex, throws body shots, then headbutts! Ishii adjusts and sunset flips for a RUNNING POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Khan survives but Ishii drags him back up. Ishii runs, but Khan catches the sliding lariat into the KATAGATAMI! Ishii fights with elbows, but Khan hits an STO! Khan squeezes tight but Ishii clasps hands to relieve pressure. Fans are thunderous as Ishii fights and Khan leans all his weight on the hold. Ishii loses his grip and is starting to fade, but he clasps hands again! Khan keeps squeezing, and hops around to put more and more pressure on Ishii’s head and neck!

Ishii scrambles, Khan gets him with a double wristlock. Ishii wrenches through to ARMBREAKER DDT! KIMURA!! Ishii has the double wristlock!! Khan endures so Ishii makes it a CROSS ARMBREAKER! Khan scrambles and gets a ropebreak with his foot! Ishii lets go fast and now things are even between their arms! Fans rally up again as Khan beats his bad arm into working again. Khan and Ishii rise, Ishii dares Khan to bring it. Ishii then runs in to clothesline Khan against ropes! Ishii runs, Khan swats his lariat away, but Ishii holds off the iron claw! Ishii headbutts and Khan wobbles! Khan headbutts back but Ishii shakes his head!

DOUBLE HEADBUTT! And again! And again! Ishii HEADBUTTS Khan right down!! Fans are thunderous as Ishii roars and shakes out the cobwebs. Ishii wobbles but he sits Khan up and runs, SLIDING LARIAT! Cover, TWO!! Khan is still in this but Ishii fires up again. Ishii drags Khan back up, reels him in, suplexes, but Khan fights free! Khan boots but Ishii blocks to LARIAT! Fans fire up with Ishii and he gets Khan up again, but Khan suplexes for the GOURD BUSTER! Fans are thunderous again as both men are down! Khan goes to a corner, watches Ishii rise, and pounds the mat as he fires up. Khan runs in to FLYING NECKBREAKER!

Khan drags Ishii back up, for a stalling back suplex! Cover, TWO! Fans continue to rally as Khan gets back up. Khan drags Ishii up, but Ishii fires boxing elbows! Ishii ROCKS Khan but Khan CLOBBERS Ishii! Ishii roars back to his feet and runs in to LARIAT! Khan gets up, blocks a lariat and has the KITSUJIGOROSHI! Ishii endures the iron claw standing crossface combo, and fans rally up, but he starts fading! Khan scoops for a TENZAN TOMBSTONE DRIVER!! Cover, TWO!!! Ishii survives Khan’s take on the TTD and fans are electric! Khan staggers up, prepares the claw and clamps onto Ishii’s face! Khan drags Ishii up, ELIMINI- NO! Ishii elbows free, but Khan UPPERCUTS!

Ishii dodges a boot to GERMAN SUPLEX! But Khan is up to BOOT! Khan roars and fans fire up again as he staggers back to Ishii. Khan drags Ishii up with an iron claw to the back of the head! ELMINATOR into buckles! Khan runs, into a LARIAT from Ishii! Cover, ONE?!?! Khan is up but he flops right back down!! Maybe he really IS a Jiangshi! Khan and Ishii stir, Ishii flounders to ropes and gets his bad arm moving. Ishii slaps some sense back into himself, then waits on Khan to rise. Ishii runs but Khan ducks and LARIATS back! Khan roars, drags Ishii up with the claw, ELIMINA- NO! Ishii slips out, spins him, but Khan fights the suplex to wrench, shoot in, and iron claw!

Ishii breaks free to ENZIGURI! But Khan stands again! Ishii runs to LARIAT!! Cover, TWO!?!? More like 2.99!! Ishii roars, his rage boiling over, and the fans are electric again! Ishii stands Khan up, suplexes, for the BRAINBUSTER!! Cover, Ishii wins!!

Winner: Tomohiro Ishii, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Khan earns 0)

The Stone Pitbull shocks the block! He just brought Khan down and could be an outside shot! How will the last three rounds bode for A Block’s beefy underdog?

 

Here are the NEW A Block standings!

Zack Sabre Jr: 5-1, 10 points
Kota Ibushi: 5-2, 10 points
Shingo Takagi: 4-2, 8 points
Kenta: 4-2, 8 points [won special singles by]
Tomohiro Ishii: 4-3, 8 points
Great-O-Khan: 4-3, 8 points
Toru Yano: 3-3, 6 points
Tanga Loa: 2-4, 4 points
Yujiro Takahashi: 2-4, 4 points


My Thoughts:

A really good, really fun round for the G1 here. Ibushi VS Loa was great stuff, and I almost thought we were going to see another shocking upset. But at the same time, Loa did pull out some wild stuff and perhaps had his best match of this G1, including stealing Ibushi’s finisher. But Ibushi breaks his roller coaster streak and is back up towards the top of the block. Yujiro also got to give a great showing against ZSJ, but I figured ZSJ was winning. ZSJ having that win over Ibushi from earlier means that if it comes down to the two of them at the top, ZSJ goes in without question.

Yano VS Takagi was a lot of fun with the blindfold bag gag, but of course Takagi won. Takagi beat Kenta before so he has the tiebreaker there, but Kenta could still rise up. Khan VS Ishii was an awesome match, but I am really surprised Ishii won here. He now brings Khan into the middle of the pack and has the tiebreaker on him, but I’m pretty sure Ishii just plays spoiler to others instead of being a finalist himself. And Ishii just leaving without having a show closing promo is pretty much his style, so that trimmed off some time on the show.

My Score: 9.1/10


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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/24/22)

Time to weigh in before the Rumble!

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WWE Raw 2022

Raw prepares for the Royal Rumble!

Before fighting for the WWE World Championship, Bobby Lashley and BRRROCK LESNARRR step on the scales to make this one heavy Monday Night Raw!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Bianca Belair VS Queen Zelina Vega; Belair wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins by disqualification, and Priest retains the title.
  • Six Woman Tag: Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke & Liv Morgan VS Tamina, Carmella & Nikki A.S.H; Ripley, Brooke & Morgan win.
  • The Alpha Academy Academic Challenge Round 1, Spelling Bee: The Alpha Academy VS RKBRO; RKBRO wins and gets to choose next week’s challenge.
  • Randy Orton w/ Matt Riddle VS Chad Gable w/ Otis; Orton wins.
  • AJ Styles VS Austin Theory; Styles wins.
  • The Mysterios VS The Street Profits; The Mysterios win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Corey Graves is in the ring with Adam Pearce.

Pearce welcomes the fans to the official WWE World Championship weigh-in for the Royal Rumble. “Without further ado, please welcome the challenger, Bobby Lashley!” The Rocky Mountain Machine makes his way out, MVP right behind him, and some pyro added to his pose, and some more pyro in the ring. And of course, the WWE Champion, Br- “Ladies and gentlemen.” Paul Heyman walks out on stage to give his introduction, and says he’s so tired of everyone trying to steal his shtick, especially when no one does it as good as he does.

So about to walk down the aisle and step onto the scale, your REIGNING! DEFENDING! UNDISPUTED! WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD~! BRRROCK! LESNARRR!! Lesnar makes his entrance, wearing a cowboy hat and jeans, and he goes to the ring to join Lashley. But given the attire and the smirk on his face, it’s hard to say he’s taking this serious. Graves points it out, and Lesnar asks if Graves would like Lesnar to get naked. How about just carrying on with this then? Graves says Lashley is the challenger, so he will go first. Lashley throws off his jacket, steps over, and stands on the scale.

The ref checks, and Lashley weighs in at 273 pounds. MVP says, “See that? 273 pounds of All Mighty killing machine! 273 pounds of specimen like no other. Closer to a god than a man. 273 pounds of bottled lightning that Brock Lesnar will have to contend with at the Royal Rumble.” The match so many had written off as impossible is happening. But Lashley knew it was inevitable. 273 pounds, and then after the Rumble, Lashley will gain some weight. The exact amount as that WWE Championship weighs. Lesnar and Heyman laugh that off, and Graves says it is Lesnar’s turn. Lesnar takes off his hat and lets Heyman hold that while he steps on the scale.

The ref checks, and Lesnar weighs in at 286 pounds. Lashley is upset, though. Lesnar thinks this is funny, huh? He’s acting like a fool because he knows Lashley will beat him for the title this Saturday. “Mark my words: this will be the shortest title run of your entire career. And that’s not a prediction. That’s a spoiler.” Lesnar laughs and says, “Well who’s the comedian now? Paul, get this. On Sunday morning, hot off the press, Bobby Lashley beats Brock Lesnar in the Hurt Lock. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new champion! The new reigning, defending, WWE Heavyweight Champion of the world~! Bobby Who?”

Lesnar laughs, takes his leave with Heyman, but it’s only a matter of time. Will Lashley have the last laugh when he’s the one leaving St. Louis with the title?

 

Bianca Belair VS Queen Zelina Vega!

The EST is dressed in gold, because she’s ready to go for gold in the Women’s Rumble! Will the Queen of the Ring merely be a stepping stone on Bianca repeating history?

Raw returns and Vega makes her entrance. The bell rings and they tie up. Bianca scoops and puts Vega on the apron. Bianca then blows a kiss, ducks the haymaker, drags Vega back into the ring and swings her around in the waistlock before a SLAM! Fans rally for the “EST! EST!” and Bianca avoids Vega stomping her foot! Bianca ripcords and whips but Vega reverses, only for Bianca to go up and over. Bianca handsprings, eggs Vega on, then dropkicks her down! Bianca kips up, drags Vega up, and suplexes! Bianca holds Vega up but Vega STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRES! Vega stomps away on Bianca in a corner and digs her boot in!

The ref counts, Vega lets off at 4 to then JUMP KICK! Vega keeps moving, and she KNEES Bianca down! Vega soaks up the heat, takes a bow, and then drags Bianca up. Bianca shoves Vega away, runs in but is sent into buckles! Vega then goes up, but Bianca ROCKS her first! Bianca scowls, trophy lifts Vega off the corner, but Vega fights free to a SLEEPER! Bianca RAMS Vega into buckles but Vega just throws elbows! Vega brings Bianca down to her knees, squeezes tight on the sleeper, but fans rally up. Bianca fights up, RAMS Vega into more buckles and then throws Vega off! Bianca scoops but Vega headscissors, but Bianca handsprings through!

Bianca rallies on Vega, dropkick and kip up! Fans fire up as Bianca brings Vega in for a suplex! Roll through, another suplex, and she even jogs in place before the SLAM! Bianca runs, handsprings, and MOONSAULTS onto knees! Vega grits her teeth, hops on, CODE- NO! No red, Bianca pops Vega off to a torture rack! KISS OF DEATH! Cover, Bianca wins!

Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall

Well, she just beat a queen, so this was the royalEST win Bianca’s gotten yet! Will she go back-to-back at the Rumble and return to WrESTleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Kevin Owens.

Kevin Patrick tries to talk with him before his US Championship match but Kevin Owens refuses to talk. K-Peezy points out KO was the first person to give Damian Priest a pinfall loss here on Raw, and KO agrees with that. But he faked an injury. What? What did K-Peezy say? Faking an injury? Is he accusing KO of lying? Has K-Peezy been in the ring? No, he hasn’t, so his opinion is moot. KO says he fought through pain! Just reed his shirt! “Just Keep Fighting.” Now tonight, KO gets his US title match, and guess what he’ll do tonight? Read the third! Just Keep Fighting. That’s right! And he’ll do that until he is the new United States Champion.

WWE United States Championship: Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens!

The Archer of Infamy knows the Prizefighter is two-faced, but now he knows what to expect after being duped into a defeat. Will Priest keep the gold away from KO? Or will Damian make it hard for him to hold back?

Raw returns and Kevin makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see who goes into the Rumble with gold already around their waist!

Kevin kicks, Priest pushes him away and fires off in the corner! Kevin dodges to CHOP and CHOP and forearm in return! The ref counts, Kevin lets off but Priest turns things around to fire off fast hands! Priest CHOPS, whips corner to corner, but Kevin reverses. Kevin runs in but blocks the knee to throw the leg down. Priest ROCKS Kevin with an uppercut, then throws more forearms! Priest runs, but Kevin drops to come back and CLOBBER Priest with an elbow! SENTON! Cover, TWO! Kevin argues the count but he goes after Priest in the corner. Kevin stomps, the ref counts and Kevin backs off. Kevin then runs in, but into a choke grip!

Kevin slips out of the choke slam to CHOP and forearm, but he runs into a BOOT! Kevin bails out, Priest builds speed, and Priest goes up the ropes. Kevin gets away, Priest hops down and goes out after Kevin. Priest blocks the superkick and throws Kevin into barriers! Priest puts Kevin back in, but Kevin SUPERKICKS him off the apron! Kevin hurries to the apron, SWANTON onto the knees! Priest was ready this week! APRON CHOKE SLAM! Priest is fired up and so are the fans as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Priest fires off kick after kick then a ROLLING ELBOW! Kevin goes to a corner, Priest hits a back elbow! But Kevin fights off the suplex, only to get a BELL CLAP! And a HEADLOCK DRIVER! Cover, TWO! Priest drags Kevin up, puts him in a corner and hoists him up top. Priest ROCKS Kevin with a right, climbs up, but Kevin hits back! Kevin adjusts and headbutts away on Priest! Then TORNADO DDT! Priest is in a drop zone, Kevin goes up top! FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives and Kevin can’t believe it! Kevin argues with the ref but the ref defends it was two. Kevin waits on Priest to get up, SUPERKICK!

Kevin gets Priest back up, whips but Priest holds ropes. Priest BOOTS back, ducks and dodges, to FLAPJACK Kevin down! Then a HEEL KICK! Cover, TWO!! Kevin survives almost being beheaded but Priest keeps his cool. Kevin claims he’s got a bad arm, but Priest doesn’t trust that! Priest stomps away on Kevin at the ropes, but lets off as the ref counts 4. Kevin still says he has a bad arm but Priest KICKS him out to the apron. Priest rushes over, Kevin HOTSHOTS him! Kevin give sup faking and rolls Priest up, with tights, TWO!! STUN- NO! Priest powers out to LARIAT! Priest is fuming, is Damian coming?

Priest KICKS Kevin into a corner, stomps away, fires down hands, but the ref backs him up. Priest still comes back for more, the ref has to push him away again. Priest BOOTS Kevin, fires off more elbows, but the ref calls for the bell!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by disqualification (Priest retains the WWE US Championship)

Damian got the better off Priest, but he still has the belt. Kevin may have gotten the win, but will he think again before pushing Priest’s buttons?

 

Royal Rumble entrees speak.

Rhea Ripley says, “I have a score to settle with Nikki A.S.H. But the one thing that’s consuming my mind right now is the Royal Rumble. This Saturday, it’s every woman for herself, so I’m going to win at any cost. It’s gonna be an absolute nightmare for the 29 other women when I win the Royal Rumble and move on to WrestleMania.”

Dana Brooke says, “Call me crazy, but this year is gonna be my year! As reigning 24/7 Champion, I’m ready any time, at any place. And this Saturday, I’m gonna continue riding that wave, and winning the Royal Rumble.”

Liv Morgan says we’ve all seen her from being happy to be here to the girl that took the Raw Women’s Champion to her limit. We saw her nearly become champion. But at the Royal Rumble, there won’t be “nearly.” She’ll win to become the NEW Raw Women’s Champion.

 

Sonya Deville finds Damian Priest backstage.

He was outta control! When the ref says to do something, he should listen. Or else he’ll get fined, suspended, or worse. So get it under control! Will Priest find a way to contain the rage inside?

 

Six Woman Tag: Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke & Liv Morgan VS Tamina, Carmella & Nikki A.S.H!

We just heard from one team about the Women’s Rumble, but can they back it all up with actions? Or will they almost have momentum after facing the Daughter of Superfly, the Most Beautiful Woman in the WWE, and the Almost SuperHero?

Raw returns as Dana makes her entrance, followed by Liv. Then Mella makes her entrance, followed by Tamina, and lastly, Nikki. The teams sort out, Mella gets her protective mask while Dana starts with Tamina. They tie up, Dana wrenches to a wristlock, Tamina shoves her away then runs her over! Tamina soaks up the heat, taunts Liv and Rhea, then stomps Dana. Tamina rains down forearms, wraps on a chinlock and she thrashes Dana before clamping on a neck wrench. Fans rally and Dana fights up, Dana throws elbows. Tamina CLUBS Dana, back suplexes, but Dana lands on her feet to tag Rhea! Rhea dropkicks Tamina, then swipes at Nikki!

Rhea DECKS Mella, wrenches Tamina and hits her with short arm clothesline after short arm clothesline! Then a ripcord HEADBUTT, and a sweep to the legs! Rhea runs to basement dropkick! Fans fire up with Rhea, she brings Tamina up but Tamina shoves her away. Rhea comes back to sobat, then she NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Mella gets in and FABULOUS KICKS Rhea! Liv ENZIGURIS Mella! Nikki kicks Liv for a TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! Dana SHOTGUNS Nikki, Tamina CLOBBERS Dana! Mella tags in, she pie faces Rhea, and that just pisses Rhea off! Rhea trips Mella, ties up the legs, PRISM TRAP!! Mella taps, Rhea’s team wins!

Winner: Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke & Liv Morgan, by submission

That mask didn’t protect the legs! Will it protect Mella from being thrown out? but then Nikki SUCKER PUNCHES Rhea! What kind of hero uses a cheap shot?! Will Rhea personally make sure the Rumble is a nightmare for her former friend?

 

The Alpha Academy Academic Challenge Round 1, Spelling Bee: The Alpha Academy VS RKBRO!

In order for Matt Riddle & Randy Orton to earn a rematch for the Raw Tag Team Championships, they have to show their mental strength is superior in a series of challengers! Otis looked a little worried about that last week, but will he and “Master” Chad Gable be able to outsmart the Stallion & Viper? Or will #4PointOtis no longer be top of the class?

Raw returns and Kevin Patrick presides over this challenge. He welcomes to Raw Tag Team Champions, the Alpha Academy. Gable says that was a fine introduction but a terrible explanation. So he’ll put it in a way that even the mindless morons of Ohio can understand. SHOOSH. Tonight is the first in a triad of events over the coming weeks. Fans chant, “You Suck!” and Otis gets upset. Gable says SHOOSH, and realizes vocabulary isn’t Ohio’s strong suit. Triad means three, so there will be three events. These events will prove Gable is a genius, just as his Master’s Degree and 4.0 GPA does. Don’t boo education! If anyone needs it, it’s Ohio.

Now, this will also prove his protégé, his prized pupil, Otis has both the brawn and brains the size of a tree trunk when he and Gable decimate RKBRO into mental submission. Gable is so proud of Otis. And lastly, Gable will use this platform to officially announce that the Alpha Academy are in the Men’s Royal Rumble! And you better believe one of them is winning, and then the Alpha Academy will headline WrestleMania! Thank you! Kevin Patrick then introduces the former tag team champions, RKBRO! Orton & Riddle head to the ring, and Kevin Patrick reminds us that this is a spelling bee. Tonight’s winners will then choose next week’s challenge stipulation.

The champions open, and first up is Otis. Gable says Otis has this, and Otis nervously steps to the mic. Otis’ word is… Emmental. Can Kevin use that in a sentence? A form of Swiss cheese. E-M-M-E-N-T-A-L! CORRECT! Gable is proud and Otis is sure they’ve already got this. First up for RKBRO, it’s Riddle. Fans fire up as The Bro goes to the mic. Riddle’s word is… Calibration. Cali-bro-tion? No, calibration. Can he use that in a sentence? Uh, ok. “A simple calibration is used to set up the system for individual implementation.” Please put that into letters for Riddle. No, Riddle, you have to spell it. Oh, okay, like when he calibrates his scale for measuring ounces and-

Riddle, just spell it then! Right, sorry. C-A-L-I-B-R-A-T-I-O-N. CORRECT! Tied at 1-1 and Riddle is fired up! Gable is now up, and his word is… Disillusion. Gable laughs that one off. He was hoping for a challenger. For the sake of sportsmanship, give him the definition! SHOOSH! He didn’t need it! This is Mr. 4.0, baby! It is the disbandment of a group or organization- No, Kevin said disillusion, not dissolution. D-I-S-S-O-L-U-T-I-O-N! NO, Gable! Wrong word! What?! That was dissolution but Kevin said disillusion. This is a joke! Kevin said the word wrong! Gable says he spelled a word right! But it wasn’t the word that was said.

Orton says maybe Gable can just a freakin’ seat! Orton is ready to get this over with. Then his word and the win is… Well, one of the most commonly misspelled words. Dumbbell. Riddle says Orton has this! And looking at Riddle, Orton has this. D-U-M-B-B-E-L-L. CORRECT! Gable is furious! Dumbbell for Orton? Riddle IS a dumbbell! Gable, shut your mouth! And Ohio, let’s go ahead and shut Gable’s mouth for him! They can go 1v1 right here, right now! Gable is furious, and Orton says Gable is clearly not that smart so maybe he’ll spell out how he’s gonna beat Gable: the three most destructive letters in sports entertainment, R K O!!

Randy Orton w/ Matt Riddle VS Chad Gable w/ Otis!

Raw returns and the match is on! Orton and Gable circle, fans rally behind “Randy! Randy!” and ties up with Gable. Orton headlocks, grinds Gable but Gable fights up. Gable pries the hold, has a top wristlock and he brings Orton down. Otis says that’s the power of leverage, and Gable wernches to a wristlock. But Orton powers out to drop toehold and facelock! Gable moves around, Orton gets away, and the two circle again. They tie up, Gable wrenches, wristlocks, but Orton fights up. Riddle and the fans rally up, Orton wrenches through and headlocks. Gable powers out, Orton runs him over! Riddle is fired up as Gable gets to a corner.

Orton and Gable reset, tie up again, and Gable wrenches to a hammerlock. Orton slips around to hammerlock back, then headlocks. Gable powers out, Orton runs him over, and things speed up. Gable arm-drags, and arm-drags again! Gable keeps on the arm and fans boo as he wrenches the shoulder. Orton fights up, fans keep rallying, and Orton whips Gable to a corner. Gable goes up and over but Orton fakes out the arm-drag! RK- NO! Gable pushes Orton away, and then bails out of the ring to regroup with Otis. Fans boo and a ring count starts. Otis says you can’t RKO someone with no neck! Gable gets in the ring, he circles with Orton and they tie up again.

Orton wrenches to a wristlock, but Gable rolls, bridges, spins and handsprings to spin through and headlock. Gable then spins to the toehold and has the ANKLE LOCK! But Orton slips away and bails out to regroup with Riddle. Gable says it was that close, but Orton keeps his cool. Orton takes his time returning, but Gable throat chops him! Gable CHOPS Orton to a corner, throws body shots and haymakers, but lets off as the ref counts. Gable fires off more forearms, strikes a pose, but then Orton kicks back! Orton fires off EuroUppers over and over, whips Gable to ropes, then CLOBBERS him with an elbow!

Gable bails out again, Orton stalks up behind him! Back suplex to the announce desk! Gable flops to the floor and Otis can only glare as Orton looms over Gable. Fans are all fired up as Orton puts Gable in the ring. Otis gets on the apron, Orton knock shim down! But Gable CHOP BLOCKS a leg! Gable runs, runs Orton over, then hurries up the corner! MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!! Orton survives and Gable can’t believe it, while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Gable has a standing toehold. Orton endures, Riddle coaches him up, but Gable stomps Orton down! Gable has Orton in a corner, hooks a leg in the ropes, then gets the other for a DRAPING DRAGON SCREW! The ref keeps Gable back but Gable shoots in to get the left leg. Orton CLUBS Gable, whips him but the bad leg gives up! Gable whips Orton into a corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! Orton manages to rally, and he dodges to BACK DROP Gable away! Gable goes to a corner, Orton runs in to clothesline! Fans are thunderous for RKBRO as Orton reels Gable in. Gable switches, Orton bucks the waistlock and hits a BACK2BACKBREAKER!

Fans fire up as Otis coaches Gable and Riddle coaches Orton. Orton puts Gable through ropes, drags him out, time to spell “vintage!” DRAPING DDT! Orton slowly gets up as fans fire up behind him. Orton hears the voices and he waits on Gable. Riddle sees Otis getting on the apron and runs over that way. But Otis gets him for an EXPLODER! Orton is distracted, Gable backslides him! TWO, and Orton hits a POWERSLAM! Orton’s bad leg slows him down, but the fans still rally as hard as ever. Orton stands over Gable, then aims from the corner. Otis shouts to Gable, but Orton runs in, only for Gable to dodge the punt! ANKLE LOCK!!

Orton endures as Gable thrashes the bad leg! Fans rally, Riddle CLOBBERS Otis with his scooter! And then again! And again! Gable is distracted, Orton rolls to send Gable into buckles! RKO!!! Cover, Orton wins!!

Winner: Randy Orton, by pinfall

RKBRO gets extra credit on The Alpha Academy! A win in the spelling bee and a win in the ring, but Riddle gets a mic. Riddle congratulations Orton, and reminds us that they get to choose the second Academy Challenge. Riddle thinks it’s time to go old school to gym class! What better way to show some physical prowess than a good, ol’ fashioned… scooter race! Is that really part of gym class? And does Otis even stand a chance of finding a scooter that can hold him up? Will RKBRO make it a 2-0 sweep? Or can Gable find a way to make a comeback?

 

Alexa Bliss continues her therapy.

The doctor thinks they’re making progress. Oh? He asks her a personal question: When was the very first time that Alexa met Lily? Oh, well, Lily’s been around her whole life. Any time Alexa was looked down on or bullied, Lily was there to be her friend. Alexa was just six years old when she met Lily. These two teenage girls picked on Alexa cuz she wore glasses, and they shoved her off the monkey bars. Alexa got knocked out, and when she came to, Lily was there. Those cute button eyes and the braids and stitching. Is that too much? No, keep going. Okay.

That day, Alexa and Lily got ice cream and played on the monkey bars. Lily said those mean girls would never come back, too. Then they ate candy and gumdrops, and they did that game where you stuff marshmallows in your mouth and try to say, “Chubby bunny.” Well, Alexa has plenty more to say, will we get to the bottom of Lily’s hold over Alexa?

 

Vince McMahon talks with Austin Theory.

Vince knows Theory is doing really good lately, especially the selfies. Yeah, look at this one! No, not that one. Well, it did feel good destroying Finn Balor, just like Vince wanted. And in the Rumble, Theory will win and face the champion of his choosing at WrestleMania! That’s exciting. If it’s not too much to ask, maybe Theory could get a late number? Like 26 or 27?Why would Theory think Vince has any influence over that at all? Especially right now, when he should focus on his opponent, AJ Styles. Whoa, as in, former WWE Champion, US Champion, Intercontinental Champion, Tag Team Champion, Grand Slam Champion AJ Styles? Yep! That AJ Styles.

Theory says that’s fine. Sounds good, even! Okay, hang on. Don’t forget your phone. And bring back a really good selfie. Yes, sir! Will Theory be able to be more than Phenomenal here tonight? Or does he finally fall out of favor with Mr. McMahon?

AJ Styles VS Austin Theory!

The Phenomenal One himself just got finished with a bright and shining star with a big ego in Grayson Waller. Will Styles check off another future star in Vince’s newest pet project?

Raw returns and Theory makes his entrance. The bell rings, they tie up, and Theory powers Styles to a corner. The ref counts, Theory lets off to mock Styles’ pose, but Styles keeps cool. They tie up again, Styles powers Theory to a corner but Theory turns it around. The ref counts, Theory lets off, and then he double guns. Styles still stays cool, ties up with Theory and gets a headlock. Theory powers up but can’t power out as Styles holds tight. Theory powers out, Styles ducks the hurdle, rolls Theory up, TWO! Theory fireman’s carries, but Styles sunset flips! TWO, Styles wheelbarrows to a victory roll, TWO! Styles dropkicks Theory right outta the ring!

Fans fire up and Styles takes aim. Slingshot and FOREARM! Direct hit and Theory checks his chin. Styles puts Theory back in the ring, stalks Theory to ropes, brings Theory up and bumps him off buckles. Styles CHOPS, Theory staggers to another corner, but Styles brings him out. Theory kicks but Styles blocks. Theory ROCKS Styles with a forearm, but Styles KICKS Theory’s leg! Theory hobbles to the corner, but Styles storms over. Theory YANKS Styles into buckles! And then throws him down by his hair! Slingshot STOMP, deadlift suplex! Cover, ONE!! Theory is annoyed and he rains down rights before wrapping on a headlock.

Theory grinds Styles but fans rally up. Styles fights up, puts Theory in a corner, but Theory turns things around. Styles dodges to CHOP! And CHOP! Theory falls and crawls, but he throws body shots. Styles KICKS Theory in the side! Styles runs for a BIG knee drop! Cover, TWO! Styles gets Theory up, snap suplexes, covers, TWO! Theory grits his teeth but Styles drags him back up. Theory FLAPJACK HOTSHOTS him! Styles sputters while Theory seethes, and Theory stomps Styles down! Theory drags Styles up, throws forearms, then whips corner to corner. Styles hits buckles hard, and Theory gets in his face! “How’s that feel?!”

Theory throws fists down but the ref back shim off. Theory stands on Styles’ head, but lets off as the ref counts. Theory drags Styles up but Styles DECKS Theory with a forearm! Styles drags Theory up, but Theory suplexes for a GOURD BUSTER! Styles flounders in the corner, Theory hoists him up top. Theory throws forearms, climbs up to join Styles, but Styles throws body shots in return. Styles ROCKS Theory, Theory drops but then somersaults to SHOTGUN DROPKICK Styles to the floor! Fans boo but Theory grins as he looks down at Styles, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Theory has a headlock. Styles throws body shots, Theory knees low. Styles kicks back, then ENZIGURIS! Theory staggers, Styles runs in but Theory catches his crossbody for a BACKBREAKER! Then a SWINGING BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Theory grins as Styles survives, and he stalks Styles to ropes. Theory bumps Styles off buckles, then RAMS a shoulder into his back! And again, and again! Theory lets off as the ref counts, and Theory throws down more fists. Theory brings Styles up, but Styles JAWBREAKERS free! Styles ROCKS Theory with a right, then CHOPS him to ropes. Styles whips, Theory reverses and BACK DROPS! Cover, TWO!

Theory says HE is phenomenal but fans boo. Theory drags Styles up to snapmare and stomp him down! Theory mocks Styles’ pose again, but misses the elbow drop! Theory grits his teeth as he gets back up and runs in at the corner. Styles elbows Theory away, then QUEBRADA DDT! Both men are down but the fans fire up! Theory and Styles are on opposite ends, Styles runs in to LARIAT! Theory kicks back but Styles fires off the Phenomenal Blitz! Styles hits a clothesline in the corner, then suplexes Theory to a NECKBREAKER! Styles runs, SLIDING FOREARM! Cover, TWO! Theory is still in it but Styles keeps his cool.

Styles drags Theory up, fireman’s carries but Theory slips out. Styles ducks the haymaker but not the back elbow! Theory hits a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Theory checks his chin again, drags Styles up and says he’s got this. JAWBREAKER! Styles runs in, but into a BOOT! Theory somersaults for a BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Styles survives and Theory can’t believe it! Theory shakes his head, convincing himself he can do this. Theory gets Styles up to throw big forearms in the corner. Theory puts Styles up top, climbs up to join him, but Styles resists! Styles slips through and trips Theory up! Styles waistlocks, but Theory elbows out hard!

Theory reels Styles in, but Styles fights out of the powerbomb! Styles ducks and dodges to PELE! Both men are down again and fans are rallying! Styles reels Theory in, but Theory fireman’s carries! Styles fights free, rolls Theory, CALF CRUSHER!! Theory scrambles, ROPEBREAK! Styles lets go and both men slowly get up. Styles grabs at Theory but Theory holds the ropes. The ref calls the ropebreak, Theory throat chops! But Styles BOOTS back, goes to the outside, but Theory trips up his springboard! High stack, but with ropes! The ref sees that and stops the count! Theory and the ref argue, but Styles ROCKS Theory!

Styles is on the apron, he springboards in, PHENOMENAL FOREARM!! Cover, Styles wins!

Winner: AJ Styles, by pinfall

Now that was phenomenal! Will Styles use this momentum to take the Royal Rumble and that golden ticket to WrestleMania? And what of Theory facing Vince’s wrath?

 

Raw holds a simultaneous interview with Becky Lynch and “Doudrop” Piper Niven.

Commentary wants to start with Piper. This match has been a long time coming, and Piper ran through the rest of the division to- Becky speaks up and asks if this is their first time. We start with the champion. And she’ll start with a champion of “a wee lass named Doudrop.” When she first got her start across the pond, who did she idolize? Becky. Who did she want to face most? Becky. Tell ’em how Becky paved the way, and as the groundbreaker she is, she gave Piper this match. People are asking, “Why would anybody in their right mind choose someone who can clearly out power them? Who can clearly break all their bones with one slam to the mat?”

Maybe that’s the answer! Maybe Becky isn’t in her right mind. Or maybe Becky is that confident in how damn good she is! Or that generous to grant an opportunity to a fellow Celt. Piper speaks up to suggest that maybe, Becky handpicked Piper because Becky is desperate. Maybe ever since she returned, she’s been ducking, dodging and scrambling just to hold onto the title. Maybe Becky thought putting the new girl in would be an easy victory. The only easy thing here will be how easy it is for Piper to break every single one of Becky’s ribs.

Becky wants “Doudou” to hold on there. Becky should be thanked for giving Piper her biggest match, her first title match here, and for paving the way and giving Piper a match at one of the biggest events of the year. If Piper had just said thanks, but no. Piper waited for Becky to get in and offer a handshake, so of course Becky slapped her across the face. And being the bigger person, Becky offers to lead Piper to victory in the tag match. But then Piper splashed Becky, dropped her, left her lying. Becky admits, she didn’t see that coming. But Piper’s in for a rude awakening at the Rumble when she steps in the ring with the #VanGOAT and Becky wins to stay Raw Women’s Champion.

Oh, is Becky done? Piper zoned out when she started hearing that whining, nagging sound, or else she was gonna lose it. But Piper will show gratitude when Becky shows respect. But Becky won’t, she will keep whining. She’s not a goat, she’s a little lamb on the way to the slaughter. The Dome is the slaughterhouse, and the new champion will be Doudrop! Becky says Piper was just another name to fill out the roster before this. Piper needs to know her place. It’s dead space and- Oh, Piper’s getting off the mic? She gonna run? She can’t run from the truth, or from this fight. Becky’s been champ for nearly three years !But then Piper barges into Becky’s room!

Piper and Becky scrap and referees rush in to stop it! Piper says her place is with the title, standing over Becky! Will Piper be the one to make Becky DouDROP that title?

 

Backstage interview with Rey & Dominik Mysterio.

Sarah congratulates Rey on being the WWE 2K22 cover superstar. What does it mean to be among the ranks like Stone Cold, The Rock, John Cena and The Undertaker? Rey says this is so dope. You have no idea what an honor it is to represent. Most superstars spend their careers chasing achievements, from main eventing WrestleMania or entering the Hall of Fame. Being on the cover of a WWE video game is no different, especially when that game is FIRE! Although, the one thing prouder would be seeing Dom on the cover one day. Dom says now Rey’s talking. Dom used to play those games growing up, and he knows he has to create his own legacy to be in those games. That starts Saturday when he wins the Royal Rumble.

Well okay, but that’d mean he has to throw Rey out. That’s not happening, right? Well after last week, he might be first to go! Dom’s got jokes. He’s playin’ right? Dom grins and heads out, but Rey laughs it off. Will “every man for himself” be true even for the Mysterio Familia?

The Mysterios VS The Street Profits!

Rey & Dom won alongside Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins last week, but now they’ll go against each other for some last minute momentum! Who will be on fire going into the Royal Rumble match after tonight?

Raw returns as the Mysterios make their entrance. The teams sort out, Dawkins starts against Dom. They circle, tie up, and Dom headlocks. Dawkins powers out, things speed up, Dom RANAS! Dom throws hands, knuckle locks and CHOPS, then goes up to FLYING ARM-DRAG! Dawkins dodges, Dom keeps moving, Dawkins hits a big back elbow! Cover, TWO! Dawkins drags Dom up, whips him to ropes, but Dom wheelbarrow sand throws Dawkins out of the ring! Rey gets in, holds the way open., Dom DIVES! Direct hit onto Dawkins, and then Rey crossbodies Ford! Rey runs, but Ford throws him out onto Dom!

Dom manages to catch Rey, but Ford FLIES! Direct hit and down goes everyone! Ohio is fired up as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Dawkins grinds Dom down in a chinlock. Dom endures, fights up, throws body shots, but Dawkins DECKS Dom with a right! Cover, TWO! Dom is still in this but Dawkins wraps on another chinlock. Dom endures again, fights up, Rey coaches him through it, and Dom gets to his feet. Dom throws more body shots, but Dawkins knees low. Dom ends up in a corner, but he dodges the cyclone splash to kick and TORNADO DDT! Both  men are down and fans fire up! Dawkins and Dom crawl, hot tags to Ford and Rey! Rey dodges Ford to tilt-o-whirl and headscissor! Ford ends up in a corner, puts Rey on the outside, but Rey ROCKS him!

Rey goes up top, leaps, SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps moving, dodges again, but Ford FLAPJACKS Rey down! Ford somersaults, to a SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Rey gets to ropes, Ford whips him, but Rey kicks back. Rey slides under, Dom gets in, and he gives Rey a boost to RANA Ford on tropes! The Mysterios dial it up but Dawkins trips Dom and drags him out! Ford runs in but Rey drop toeholds him to ropes! 6 1 NO! Ford blocks that, gets Rey up in an Electric chair, but Rey victory rolls! The Mysterios win!!

Winners: Rey & Dominik Mysterio, by pinfall

The King of Lucha finds a way to snatch this one away from the Profits! But then Dom gets behind Rey and lifts him up, but Rey RANAS Dom out! Rey tells Dom he needs to try better than that, but then Ford TOSSES Rey! But then Dawkins tosses Ford! Dawkins says he got Ford there! But then the DIRTY DAWGS get in, and they both throw Dawkins out! Roode & Ziggler talk trash, but then the Mysterios and the Profits get in to go after them! It’s a huge scrap, but the Dawgs get tossed! And then the remaining four all square off in their own corners! Will any of these men make it to the end of the Rumble match this Saturday?

 

Backstage interview with Seth Rollins.

Kevin Patrick brings up how the Usos are barred from ringside during the Universal Championship match at the Royal Rumble, and Rollins says that sounds so good. Rollins likes K-Peezy and will give him a little “insider information.” This was never about The Usos, or anyone else but Roman VS Seth, Seth VS Roman. Now they go 1v1 at the Rumble for the title, and historically speaking, Rollins likes his odds. Rollins knows he can beat Roman because he’s already done it. Roman knows Rollins has his number. Roman wants people to think very highly of him, but Rollins is the one who can put Roman in his place.

So speaking of Roman, Rollins is going to pay SmackDown one more visit this Friday, because unlike Roman, Rollins delivers his messages in person. See you Friday, brother! Rollins laughs it up, but will he have the last laugh this Friday? And will this Saturday be the first time Roman gets the better of Rollins?

 

The Miz heads to the ring!

The Hollywood A-Lister promised it last week, and now it’s here! Maryse’s birthday celebration will be here on Raw, and the ring’s already filled with presents! Will all go smoothly for the It Couple this close to the Royal Rumble? We’ll see, after the break.

Raw returns and Miz welcomes us to the Maryse Birthday Extravaganza! It’s a celebration of his wife’s birthday, and then Saturday, we will celebrate The It Couple beating The Grit Couple! So without further ado, welcome the birthday girl, a woman more gorgeous, more sexier and more intelligent than anyone here, Maryse! Maryse makes her entrance, and there’s security at ringside. Miz says he speaks for everyone here when he says, “Open your first gift!” Maryse pulls the veil off a painted portrait of her and Miz as a prince and princess! Miz has done it! She feels even more special than the day she became a mother!

Or when he got her that pink Rolls Royce! Or when he got her that $500,000 ring. Well no expense spared. He got top of the line security to make sure there will be no intruders! They checked the ceiling so there wouldn’t be a Brood Bath! There will be no Edge or Beth here! Miz speaks for all of us when he says, “Open your second gift!” Miz hands it to Maryse, she pulls off the lid, and it’s… A custom hand purse! It says “No limit” on the side because there is no limit to their love. Wait, what’s this big one? Miz thought Maryse got him something. Uh, it’s her birthday. Why would she… Wait, then if he didn’t get that, and she didn’t get that… Then what’s in the box?

SECURITY! Get in here and open the box for Miz! The guard goes up to it, rips the paper away, and it’s all a trick! Miz put the brick that Maryse hit Beth with in a frame! This demonstrates that these two will always be one step ahead of Edge & Beth. Just watch this recap video as proof! Maryse asked Beth to call off the Mixed Tag, Beth refused, Miz tried to jump Edge but failed, but it still distracted Beth enough so Maryse could CLOBBER Beth! Fans boo but Miz & Mrs. just soak it up. Now it is time for everyone to get up out of their seats and sing Happy Birthday to Maryse. On three. One, two, DO NOT BOO! This is a birthday celebration! Stand up and sing!!

Now, one! Two! Three! HIT IT! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you~! Miz is so sour… But here comes EDGE! AND Beth! Edge has the music cut to tell Mike ‘n’ Maryse that they’ve been real clever. But being clever won’t matter on Saturday. All these security guards won’t matter on Saturday. Because Miz & Maryse stepped in it now! They’ve got a pissed off Rated R Superstar, and an extremely pissed off Glamazon on their hands. These two are gonna show everyone why that’s not a good thing. The Grit Couple storms to the ring, CLOBBER guard after guard, and Beth scoop SLAMS the next one! Edge TOSSES another, Beth sends one more into the steps!

The It Couple bail out of the ring, so Edge and Beth tear everything up! Beth SPEARS one guard, Edge SPEARS another! Miz & Maryse freak out over the cake being in harm’s way, but the Grit Couple give a guard a HART ATTACK! Shout out to the days of Beth teaming with Natty. Another guard gets in, he gets a 3D!! A shout out to some of Edge’s greatest rivals, before he BOOTS another guard! Edge sees the cake still standing, and Miz says he better not! Edge drags the guard up, reels him in, and POWERBOMBS him through the cake AND table! The terror on the It Couple’s faces is real this time! Will they even show up in St. Louis for that Mixed Tag match?


My Thoughts:

I have a feeling word got back that last week’s Raw was pretty sad, because they made sure this week’s Raw was really good. Now, a weigh-in segment for a title that doesn’t really have weight restrictions was really just an excuse to get Lesnar and Lashley to interact one more time. But Lashley and Lesnar are both doing really well on the mic these days, and Lesnar being dismissive of Lashley is such a great element of this. It’d be wild if Lashley won this but there’s a good chance Lesnar retains and we still get something of Lesnar VS Roman, title for title. Rollins has a good promo rather late in the night, but him hyping up the SmackDown go-home means something good is coming.

Bianca VS Vega was a short match, as was the Six Woman Tag, but sadly that’s how things are in RawDown these days… But at least we got a great promo segment from Becky and Piper. Piper leaving her room to find Becky and brawl with her was awesome stuff, and their match is going to be awesome stuff, but pretty sure Becky wins. Then they’ll set up Becky VS Bianca at WrestleMania, Bianca finally avenges her SummerSlam loss. Also, Alexa Bliss has to be returning to action during the Rumble. She might not win but she could have a really good showing to reestablish herself. Tonight’s vignette didn’t really do much, it just had her rambling about Lily’s origin story with no serious revelation.

We got a really good US Championship match, but it was a bit cheap for Priest to get disqualified when “Damian” let loose. Maybe Kevin comes back after the Rumble to try again and that builds to a US title match at the Elimination Chamber PPV in February. Styles VS Theory was a great match, too, just wish Vince would’ve let Theory and Finn have a match as good as that. And if Styles was still feuding with Grayson Waller, we could’ve built to Styles & Finn VS Theory & Waller, but nope. Vince has apparently given up on Finn, but not enough to cut him the same way they cut a lot of other great people. What a weird old man.

I loved so much of the Academic Challenge segment. Great promos from everyone, and I love that Gable got so cocky that he went with what he thought he heard and not what Kevin Patrick really said. Then we got an awesome match of Orton VS Gable, that also had the awesome aside of Riddle attacking Otis with the scooter. Now, going with a scooter race next week isn’t really something you’d see in gym class from what I’ve experienced, but it’s definitely a Riddle kind of choice. I’m not sure how, but Alpha Academy is definitely finding a way to win to push this to the third challenge, which RKBRO will win to get a tag title match.

The Mysterios VS Profits was really good, with Ford and Rey really standing out in this match. Mysterios get the win for momentum, but then the Dirty Dawgs get in on things for a nice brawl. I don’t see any of those six winning, though, but maybe the Mysterios come out tag title contenders for after RKBRO and Alpha Academy sort out. And then we got a pretty good final segment. As birthday parties that get ruined goes, I like that Miz swerved us with the giant box and then we get Edge & Beth straight up crashing the party. I spotted the Tate Twins among the security guards that got bodied, I hope that means they’re signing with NXT 2.0. The Grit Couple standing tall here, the math would suggest The It Couple finds a way to win, but who knows, Edge & Beth could defy the math.

My Score: 8.3/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Dark: Elevation Results & Report! (1/24/22)

Washington DC gets Elevated!

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AEW Elevation Coverage

AEW has eight for America’s capital!

Team Taz’s Ricky Starks & “Powerhouse” Hobbs look to clear out Dante Martin’s allies, Matt Sydal & Lee Moriarty, as AEW continues in Washington, DC!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Leyla Hirsch VS Brittany Blake; Hirsch wins.
  • Private Party VS Myles Hawkins & Action Andretti; Private Party wins.
  • Brandi Rhodes VS Willow Nightingale; Brandi wins.
  • The Men of the Year VS Logan Easton Laroux & Mike Fowler; The Men of the Year win.
  • Red Velvet VS Janai Kai; Velvet wins.
  • Santana & Ortiz VS Breaux Keller & Goldy; Santana & Ortiz win.
  • Thunder Rosa & Ruby Soho VS Leva Bates & Jordan Blade; Rosa & Soho win.
  • Ricky Starks & “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs VS Matt Sydal & Lee Moriarty; Starks & Hobbs win.

QUICK NOTES

Great to see Leva Bates back in action, but I have a feeling she and Jordan Blade will put Rosa and Soho over. Leyla Hirsch is in her first match since her Heel turn, so seeing how #LEGITHEEL wrestles compared to when she was a Face will be one to watch. And Team Taz taking on Sydal & Moriarty is going to be great, especially since it ties story in from Dynamite.


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