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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (11/1/21)

Could this be the EST-est Raw yet?

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Coverage Raw 2021

Does Bianca Belair finally kick Becky’s lass?

Raw is golden as it OPENS with Becky Lynch VS Bianca Belair for the Raw Women’s Championship! Is tonight finally The Man’s comeuppance?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Raw Women’s Championship: Becky Lynch VS Bianca Belair; Lynch wins and retains the title.
  • Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Austin Theory; Theory wins, by disqualification.
  • Rhea Ripley & Nikki A.S.H. VS Queen Zelina Vega & Carmella; Vega & Carmella win.
  • Finn Balor VS Chad Gable w/ Otis Dozovic; Balor wins.
  • The Street Profits VS The Dirty Dawgs; The Dirty Dawgs win.
  • No Disqualifications: Damian Priest VS T-Bar; Priest wins.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Meditation Misfire: Reggie retains the title.
  • Big E VS Kevin Owens; Big E wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Backstage interview with Bianca Belair.

SummerSlam was the 26 second defeat and the start of a heated rivalry. Is this the night it comes to a head? Bianca will be the first to say she wasn’t prepared for Becky Lynch, because she prepared for Sasha Banks and then saw Carmella was the substitute. And yes, Becky was someone Bianca really liked so when Becky stepped up to challenge her, Bianca thought that was really cool. But 26 seconds later, Bianca’s sitting there with no championship, wondering what is going on. But she will never regret those mistakes. Those are opportunities to make her stronger.

And Becky has completely lost sight of what it takes to be a champion. Becky doesn’t even see the threat that is the EST of the WWE. Becky only tries to play down Bianca’s accomplishments, which Bianca is used to hearing from the sidelines. And that is exactly where Becky was when Bianca had her rise to the top, and Becky couldn’t stand it. But Bianca has always shown up and shown out in every match. The Royal Rumble, WrestleMania, and now the biggest match tonight, because there is no match bigger than for the Raw Women’s Championship. The EST heads out and Raw’s kicking off with the biggEST rematch!

Raw Women’s Championship: Becky Lynch VS Bianca Belair!

Becky Lynch is now interviewed backstage and asked to respond to Bianca. Bianca absolutely did rise to the top, but that’s because Becky wasn’t around to stop her. What did anyone think what Becky was doing while she was out? Just eating bonbons like some regular person? No! The day after she gave birth, she did 24 push-ups. She would’ve done 25 but… Well, anyway, do you think it’s easy to come back and get in shape like Becky did? Better than ever, like she did! People don’t realize how hard it is to be Becky, and to balance being champion and mother. That is why Becky is noticing a lack of appreciation for her, and maybe even some boos.

But it is alright. All that motivates Becky, and it will motivate her to beat Bianca again. The Man makes her entrance, the introductions are made, and the belt is raised. Now Raw kicks off with a golden grudge match!

Becky and Bianca circle, tie up, and Becky tries but can’t push Bianca back. Bianca pushes Becky back just fine but Becky turns it around in the corner using the ponytail! Becky shoves Bianca, then shoves her again while talking trash. Bianca gets mad and shoves Becky down! “Don’t push me!” Becky gets up to SLAP Bianca! “This is why I’m the champ!” Bianca glares at Becky and she runs away! But Bianca gets Becky at the ropes, drags her back in and spins in the waistlock before the SLAM! Becky fights up, pries at the waistlock but Bianca SLAMS her down again. Becky fights back up, elbows free, but Bianca ducks to SLAP Becky back And then runs her over with a shoulder!

Bianca runs, handsprings, and hits the MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Bianca smirks and keeps cool while Becky bails out. Bianca goes out to fetch Becky but Becky hits a JAWBREAKER! Becky puts Bianca through the corner and pulls on the braid, but Bianca uses it to YANK Becky into the post! Bianca then drags Becky through the corner, and dead lifts her for a suplex to the floor! The champ is in trouble as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Bianca throws counter punches and forearms on Becky! Bianca runs, Becky picks the leg and gets up to trip her! Becky gets the dragon sleeper, REVERSE DDT! Cover, TWO! Becky goes to a corner, starts to untie a buckle pad but Bianca rolls her up! TWO and Becky CLOBBERS Bianca! Cover, TWO! Becky grows annoyed and fans rally and duel. Becky pie faces Bianca around and talks trash, but Bianca blocks a kick! Becky rolls to bring Bianca down! Omoplata then she pulls on the other arm! Bianca endures, moves around but Becky makes it a cover! TWO, and Bianca gets up to get Becky for a suplex! But Becky makes it a cradle, TWO!!

Becky CALF KICKS Bianca down! Fans fire up but Bianca dodges the leg drop! Becky still whips Bianca to a corner but Bianca goes up and over then handsprings to rally on Becky! Dropkick after dropkick and Becky flounders to ropes! Fans fire up as Bianca whips, but Becky reverses and reels Bianca in, but Bianca suplexes! And rolls through to suplex again, and holds Becky up! The blood rushes to Becky’s head before the SLAM! Cover, TWO! Bianca still smiles, because she knows Becky is this tough. Becky gets to a corner, she kicks but Bianca blocks to elbow back. Bianca whips, Becky reverses again but runs into buckles!

Bianca waistlocks, Becky switches and O’Conner Rolls, TWO and Becky hits buckles! Becky comes back into a tilt-o-whirl GUTBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Becky survives and crawls to the apron but Bianca storms over. Becky ducks the clothesline to HOTSHOT Bianca away! Becky gets in, Bianca ducks, dodges, Becky avoids the braid but the sobat is blocked! Chicken wings but Becky victory rolls through! TWO and Bianca has it, TWO! Becky schoolgirls, TWO! Becky wants the arm! Bianca resists so Becky DROPS on her! Becky still wants the arm, but Bianca powers up and has Becky on her shoulders! But Becky headscissors Bianca and herself out to the floor!! Fans fire up as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Becky reverses another whip, but Bianca gets her for another suplex! Becky counters again, cradle to ARMBAR! Bianca clasps hands, flails around, high stack, then dead lifts! Becky fights the bomb to RANA! Cover, TWO! Bianca is still in the armbar but she deadlifts again to POWERBOMB! High stack cover, TWO!! Becky survives and frustration creeps in for Bianca. She calms down, gets back up and drags Becky to a scoop. Becky slips out, dragon sleepers, but Bianca walks up the corner to flip through and shove Becky into buckles. Becky BOOTS back, hops up but Bianca ROCKS her with a right!

Bianca snarls, trophy lifts Becky off the top, and carries her to center to DORP her! Bianca handsprings but onto knees! Becky rolls Bianca, TWO! Becky catches Bianca to the MANHANDLE SLAM!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Bianca survives and shocks Becky! Now Becky feels some panic, even as Bianca falls out of the ring. Becky wants the ring count to climb but Bianca is up at 5. Becky runs and slides, but Bianca catches her for an ALLEY-OOP to the announce desk! Bianca gets Becky up, puts her back in, covers, TWO! Another try, TWO! Bianca keeps her focus and Becky is on the apron. Becky KICKS Bianca, goes up top, and leaps but Bianca ducks under!

Becky comes back, into a trip-up, and chicken wings! Glam-EST Slam!! Cover, TWO!! Bianca goes up top and leaps, but she has to bail out of the splash as Becky moves! Bianca comes back but Becky sends her into the corner! JUMP KICK blocked! Bianca pops Becky into the torture rack! Becky holds ropes, holds the buckle pad, the padding comes off! Becky shoves Bianca into bare buckles! Roll up with tights, BECKY WINS!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by pinfall (still Raw Women’s Champion)

Bianca is beside herself with this defeat. Becky holds onto the belt and kisses it like it’s her baby, will The Man do anything and everything to stay the champion?

 

Backstage interview with Rey & Dominik Mysterio.

How is Rey approaching his match with Austin Theory? Theory is talented but disrespectful. Rey loves how Dom stepped up to Theory last week. Before Rey can say more, Theory walks in and says it is an honor to be in the ring with him. Rey is a hero to him, but it just sucks that they never got that selfie. But Theory will get that tonight after he beats Rey, like he did his son. Dom wants Theory to show some respect, but Rey says he’s been doing this a long time. Theory’s not the first to try and make a name at Rey’s expense. But Rey’s going to teach Theory why those names faded away, and the Mysterio name still rings loud.

Theory takes a quick selfie with Kevin Patrick while Rey makes his entrance. Will this be picture perfect for the King of Lucha Libre? Or will Theory get one over another living legend?

Rey Mysterio w/ Dominik Mysterio VS Austin Theory!

Raw returns as Theory makes his entrance. The bell rings and Rey circles with Theory. They tie up, Theory powers Rey to a corner but lets off with a pat on the shoulder and pinch of the cheek. Rey swipes at Theory but they circle again. Rey gets around to a waistlock, but Theory pries free and headlocks. Rey powers out, Theory runs him over with a shoulder! Rey flounders right out of the ring, and Theory mocks Latino Heat. Rey gets in and fires off hands! The ref counts, Theory kicks low and headlocks again. Rey powers out, drops down and then follows to tilt-o-whirl and headscissor! Rey does Latino Heat right and then throws hands on Theory in a corner.

Rey climbs up to rain down rights but Theory stops that at 4. Theory spins but Rey uses that to headscissor again! Rey brings Theory up but Theory knees low and hard. Theory throws forearms, whips corner to corner and then runs in to clothesline, getting to the apron in the same move! Theory throws Rey down, slingshots in to STOMP Rey in the chest, then deadlift FISHERMAN BUSTERS! Cover, TWO! Theory talks some smack on Dom as he looms over Rey. Theory drags Rey up to throw forearms and Rey goes to ropes. Theory whips Rey to ropes but Rey kicks back! Rey runs, tilt-o-whirls but into a torture rack!

Theory bends Rey back and stares Dom down, before hitting a BACKBREAKER! Theory dares Dom to do something, then slingshots in to somersault SHOTGUN! Cover, TWO! Theory brings Rey up, scoops him, but Rey slips out to waistlock. Theory switches but Rey runs to sling Theory out! Rey brings Theory up to whip but Theory reverses and sends Rey into barriers! The ring count climbs, Dom checks on Rey but Theory pushes him aside. Theory scoops Rey and brings him to the ring, but Dom gives Rey a push-start for a TORNADO DDT! The ref warns Dom, but Theory is down and the Mysterios stand tall as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Theory squeezes Rey with a rear bearhug. Dom and the fans rally and Rey fights up to fight free. Rey goes to run but Theory reels Rey in for a BACKBREAKER! Theory brings Rey up, puts him on the top rope and throws forearms. Theory climbs up to join Rey, stands on the very top, but Rey resists the superplex and throws body shots! Rey slips underneath Theory and trips him up! Theory hits buckles, Rey comes back to RANA him into the post! Theory falls back, Rey goes to the apron. Rey climbs up, leaps, SEATED SENTON! And then he springboards to CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO!

Dom and fans still rally and Rey gets Theory at the apron. Theory shoulders into him, slingshots in and SHOTGUNS again! But Rey comes back to basement dropkick Theory! Fans fire up as Rey and Theory both stand. Theory shoves, Rey wheelbarrows but into a BIG back suplex! Theory WRECKS Dom with a dropkick just because! Theory brings Rey up, but Rey fights the bomb and RANAS Theory onto ropes! Dom gets a cheap shot in before the 619!! SLINGSHOT SPLASH! Cover, but the ref shouts at Dom! The ref has had it, he calls a disqualification!

Winner: Austin Theory, by disqualification

Dom and Rey argue about this, Theory smiles and gets another selfie. Will Theory continue to build a list of top names in his timeline?

 

Tribute to the Troops will be on Fox this year!

And to honor the US Armed Forces, it will be Sunday, November 14th, after NFL coverage!

 

Seth Rollins heads to the ring!

The Architect is once again a #1 contender, and he shows off the contract in hand as he swaggers his way out. What will he have planned for his title match with Big E? We find out, after the break.

Raw returns and Rollins says, “You guys know me. And you know that I’m not the kind of person to come out here and toot their own horn. I have come out here tonight with a purpose! But while I’m here, let me tell you that I am on top of the world!” Rollins is on cloud 9 after that grueling ladder match where he defeated THREE former top champions to earn his opportunity at the WWE Championship. And it feels good! It feels right, doesn’t it? This is HIS show, right? Monday Night Rollins! He was drafted here to be the face of Monday nights! The only thing missing is the title around his waist.

“Fortunately for all of us, this contract right here basically guarantees that you are looking at your NEXT WWE Champion!” Rollins hoots and hollers and then gets to business. He wants to look at the fine print, but here comes Big E! And Big E has a mic of his own to say, “Seth, Seth, Seth. Seth, last week, I came out here to congratulate you on winning one heck of a #1 contender’s ladder match. But instead of shaking my hand like a normal man, you laughed in my face and slinked off like you were the Pink Panther or something.” It bothered E a little, so he talked to his aunt, and she said, “Baby, don’t let that man bother you. There is something deeply, deeply wrong with his mind. That boy’s touched.”

Oh, “touched,” nice one. But that’s not how Rollins remembers it. He remembers coming out here and challenging Big E for a match, and Big E said Rollins had to go earn it. Rollins had to prove himself?! Like Big E didn’t know this is SETH FREAKIN’ ROLLINS?! And then after Rollins won, Rollins came to shake Big E’s hand and Big E didn’t accept  it. So as someone who Rollins had a lot of respect for, Rollins lost some o fit. Big E has been a fine champion, really. Quality win over Bobby Lashley, quality win over Drew McIntyre, and Rollins is a big fan of a good Money in the Bank cash-in. But Rollins hates to be the one to break this to him… “You are not on my level.”

Rollins means no disrespect, but sooner or later, they’re going to fight for the title and Big E doesn’t want the responsibility of being a champion. Rollins can take the title off him, and Big E can go back to being a joke with his friends. King Woods is a joke. And what a joke KofiMania turned out to be! First off, respect the King. Second, Big E will be damned if Rollins will disrespect one of the greatest moments in WWE history. But y’know what? What Big E will do is offer Rollins everything he claims to want. Why don’t they do this? Big E VS Seth Rollins for the WWE Championship… TONIGHT!! Fans are loving that but Rollins says “Whoa whoa whoa, slow it down, back it up.”

Rollins says the fans don’t want that. But the fans say they do! Wait, wait, hold on. He wants to get this straight. Fans really want to see Big E defend his title against Rollins here tonight? “YES! YES! YES!” Oooooh, GOOD FOR YOU~! Of course you do! You all know, just like Big E knows, Rollins is not 100% after that match last week and Hell in a Cell before that! Rollins isn’t falling into a trap! There is no chance that match happens tonight! They do this on Rollins’ terms, when he says and when he is 100%. You got that?! Fans boo but here comes Kevin Owens! Rollins wants Kevin to shut up already. Rollins can deal with Big E interrupting him, but not Kevin!

Kevin says okay, and he’s sorry to interrupt. Okay that’s not true, Kevin doesn’t care how Rollins feel. But Kevin hears talking about who the Face of Monday Night Raw is. Big E has a very strong claim being THE WWE Champion, and a great one at that. Rollins will think he is because he’s a delusional dumbass. And the proof is that suit right there! But it isn’t just then. Bianca says she’s the face of Raw, a very strong claim. Oh, The Man, Becky, Rollins knows her. She says she’s the face. And again, all valid points. But there’s someone everyone is forgetting. The face that represents Raw is this face right here! This handsome face full of charm and integrity should be the face of Raw!

And the reason why is that while Rollins became #1 contender, and that’s great, but Kevin hates to burst his bubble. Fans weren’t talking about Rollins winning. They were talking about Kevin’s performance in that match! Every time Kevin gets in the ring, he gives his absolute best and leaves it all in the ring! It didn’t work out last week, and hasn’t really worked out in a while. Kevin can’t remember the last time it did, but that doesn’t matter. When he says, “Just keep fighting,” that isn’t a catchphrase, that is his belief! He does it every week! No matter what, he gets back up, dusts himself off and comes back to keep fighting!

And maybe it is only for three more months or three more years, it doesn’t matter. Because what matters is every single time Kevin’s on Raw, he will do everything he can to give the WWE Universe something to remember! If Rollins won’t fight Big E tonight, get out of the ring! Kevin says there is something everyone will remember, and that’s Big E VS Kevin for the first time ever, right here tonight! Rollins likes that idea, too, but Big E and Kevin tell him to shut up. But he was on Kevin’s side! Well, there can only be one, like in Highlander. This isn’t Mount Rushmore, but Kevin makes a hell of a point. They’ve never gone 1v1.

So then, Kevin Owens VS Big E, “It’s on, sucka!” Everyone, even Rollins, likes that! Will we see the Prizefighter take down the Powerhouse of Positivity?

 

Carmella and Queen Zelina talk backstage.

Mella says no one rocks a crown like #QueenZ, honey. Zelina (with her fake British accent) thanks her, and wishes she could rock a mask like Mella does. But Mella shouldn’t have to hide her beautiful face. But then they come across Nikki A.S.H. and “you” (Rhea Ripley). Zelina compliments Nikki’s cute mask. Where’d she get it? Nikki made it herself, to show the fans they can be whatever they want to be. Oh, that’s so admirable. It really compliments Nikki. Mella and Zelina move on and then talk trash about the mask, but they’re still in earshot. Rhea turns Mella around and Nikki says it doesn’t matter what anyone says. Her mask is beautiful.

This isn’t high school, and Rhea won’t let their pettiness hurt Nikki’s feelings. Oh, is that a threat? What if it is? Then they’d be mistaken if the Queen and Mella would be threatened by women clearly beneath them. Them, Liv Morgan, Doudrop, the entire women’s division! If they think the tag team champions are beneath them, then they’d have no problems facing them tonight. Challenge accepted! Will the Queen and the WWE’s Most Beautiful Woman get a royal ass whooping from #SuperBrutality?

Rhea Ripley & Nikki A.S.H. VS Queen Zelina Vega & Carmella!

Raw returns as Vega and Mella enter together. The teams sort out but Mella needs her mask. Even Vega is a bit surprised at this, but Vega ends up starting against Rhea. Rhea gets face to face with Vega and there’s a clear height advantage. Vega doesn’t care, she shoves Rhea. Rhea smirks, shoves Vega and then runs her over with a shoulder! Rhea brushes herself off, Vega tags Mella, and Mella circles with Rhea. Mella says she’s not afraid of the Nightmare, and she SLAPS Rhea! “That’s how you do it, honey!” Rhea scowls, that’s how you piss her off! Rhea HEADBUTTS Mella! And then throws body shots and a forearm! Snapmare and basement dropkick!

Mella is down, Rhea dead lifts her and the rest of the Raw Women’s Division is watching and enjoying this. Nikki tags in to wrench and whip, but Mella reverses. Nikki dropkicks a leg out, Vega gets in but Nikki brings her around to feed to Rhea’s BOOT! Vega bails out, Nikki dropkicks Mella out, and fans fire up! Nikki fires up and CROSSBODIES them both down! Rhea and Nikki are fired up as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Mella has Rhea in a sleeper. Rhea gets up but Mella throws her down! Cover, TWO! Mella wraps on a new sleeper and she squeezes tight. Rhea endures, fans rally up and Rhea fights up. Mella becomes a backpack, Rhea RAMS her into the corner! Zelina tags in, anchors Rhea’s feet, and Mella STOMPS Rhea down! Zelina gets in to wrap on a sleeper of her own! Nikki and the fans rally more for Rhea as she fights up to her feet. Vega is a backpack, Rhea throws her off! Hot tag to Nikki! Nikki rallies on Vega and Mella! Dropkick sends Vega to a corner! Nikki puts Vega up top, climbs up and rains down fists! Fans count all the way to 10 for Nikki!

Nikki strikes a pose, then SWINGING NECKBREAKERS! Cover, FABULOUS KICK breaks it up! Rhea gets in, Mella is scared. Mella dumps Rhea out, Rhea grabs at her! Rhea has Mella on her shoulders but Mella slips down to POST Rhea! And then throws Rhea into barriers! But Nikki gets Vega up, only for Vega to waistlock. Nikki bucks the O’Conner Roll, avoids the Fabulous Kick and grabs at Mella, but Zelina hops on to CODE RED! Cover, Mella & Vega win!!

Winners: Queen Zelina Vega & Carmella, by pinfall

Vega gets her crown back while Mella takes her mask off. But with this win, are these two going to get a chance to take those belts off Rhea and Nikki?

 

Big E prepares backstage, but someone walks over.

Can he help them? It’s the Alpha Academy! Chad Gable says no, he can’t help them. But they can help him! Seth was right, Big E doesn’t have what it takes to be the face of Monday Night Raw. Not yet, at least! If you choose to accept Gable’s help, they can make his reign mean something. If the plan is to make him into a walking thumb like Otis, then no thanks. Hey! Gable just graduated from Full Sail University with a Masters, okay? But he was valedictorian with a 4.0 GPA! Look what he’s done with Otis! He’s become a focused competitor, not just some entertainer. Gable could’ve done the same for Big E.

But fine, keep doing what you’re doing. Just don’t cry to Gable when Big E becomes a footnote and this is Monday Night Rollins all over again. And if Big E wants proof of what Gable can do, watch what he does to Finn Balor tonight. Watch what happens when the Master, Chad Gable, turns a Prince into a peasant. Gable heads out, Big E asks what happened to Otis’ face. But will Gable back up his grade point average against an extraordinary individual?

 

Veer Mahaan is ready.

Aggression, speed, and a million dollar arm. Veer is ready, but is the rest of Raw ready for Veer?

 

Finn Balor VS Chad Gable w/ Otis Dozovic!

Raw returns and the Alpha Academy make their entrance. The bell rings, Gable and Finn tie up. They go around, Finn waistlocks but Gable wrenches and wristlocks. Finn rolls, wrenches and hammerlocks to spin Gable to a snapmare. Finn has a chinlock but Gable slips out to hammerlock. Finn fights up, slips through and spins Gable around, but Gable headlocks, spins, drop toeholds and floats to a facelock! Finn slips through to hammerlock Gable on the mat! Gable fights up, Finn wrenches, Gable rolls and bridges to handspring, spin, break free and throat chop! Then he waistlocks to SLAM Finn down! “For the Academy!”

Gable whips Finn to ropes, Finn reverses but Gable sunset flips only for Finn to roll through and basement dropkick! Finn arm-drags Gable around then has the armlock on the mat. Gable endures, fights up, gets a leg, but Finn blocks with a facelock. Gable gets a SHIN BREAKER! Then a KNEE JAMMER! And another! And then he YANKS the leg! Otis says, “How’s that, boy? How’s that?” Gable has a spinning toehold, then a standing toehold. Finn endures, fights with his free leg, but Gable comes back for another SHIN- NO! Finn fights with elbows, goes around and gets a cobra twist! Gable powers out with a hip toss! Finn is in a corner but he BOOTS back, then CHOPS!

Finn trips Gable to DOUBLE STOMP! Fans fire up and Finn hits a SLINGBLADE! Finn aims from a corner, but Gable avoids the shotgun to jackknife bridge, TWO! But Gable gets an ANKLE LOCK! Finn reaches out, Gable drags him back, Finn is close but he refuses to quit! Gable drops back but Finn stands up and slips around to an ARMBAR! Gable fights up, Finn powers back but Gable uses that to get the ANKLE LOCK! Finn endures, rolls, victory roll to a DOUBLE STOMP! Gable sputters, Finn hobbles, but Finn CHOPS Gable to a corner. And CHOPS again! Finn whips corner to corner but Gable reverses, only for Finn to reverse and duck.

Gable powers out of the dragon sleeper to NORTHERN LIGHTS! Roll through and switch to a GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!! Gable keeps focus, goes to a corner, up top and MOONSAULT onto knees! Finn hobbles but fires up. Otis warns Gable but it doesn’t help, SHOTGUN! Finn powers through the pain to get to the corner. Finn climbs but Gable gets up there to join him! SUPERPLEX! ROLL to a cradle! FINN WINS!

Winner: Finn Balor, by pinfall

Otis rushes in but Finn gets away! Gable says that should’ve been his pin, but Finn’s shoulders were up! Will Gable be able to live down not backing up his word?

 

Matt Riddle scoots around backstage.

But the Dirty Dawgs find him. He tells them he’s a huge fan of dogs. Do they have dog spirit animals? Big Bob is probably like a Great Dane-gerous. Get it? Tough crowd. And Ziggler is like this dog Riddle saw leading a bobsled team- Enough, Riddle! Shut up. They don’t have time for whatever this is. The Dawgs have a match with the Street Profits tonight. Aw, Riddle thought they were bonding. He sure thinks a lot of things. But the Dawgs know that RKBRO will be on commentary, so maybe pay attention. If Riddle can do that. Because last week was a fluke when Riddle pinned Ziggler. The Dawgs had that match earlier in the night, Riddle got lucky.

They’ve had a week to recover and they’re going to beat the Street Profits again. And then RKBRO can kiss the titles good-bye. They are the Dirty Dawgs, and “We… Want the smoke.” The Dawgs mock the Bro and the Profits at once then head out, but Riddle figures those two have never heard of Ruff Ruff Pack. Either way, will Ziggler & Roode or the Profits redeem themselves tonight in 2v2 action?

The Street Profits VS The Dirty Dawgs!

Raw returns as the Show-Off and “Big Bob” make their entrance. But RKBRO cut in, and they debut their brand new mash-up of Voices and “Bro…” Fans are fired up for the Viper and the Stallion but Ford starts against Roode. They circle and tie up, Roode gets a headlock. Ford powers up but can’t power out as Roode holds tight. Ford powers up again, powers out the second time but Roode runs him over. Roode fires up but fans boo as things speed up. Ford hurdles, hurdles and hip tosses Roode down hard! Ford mocks Roode’s pain, then tags Dawkins in. The Profits whip, Dawkins runs Roode over, then back suplex SPLASH! Cover, TWO!

Roode hits low and CLUBS Dawkins on the back, then tags in Ziggler. The Dawgs double whip, Dawkins kicks Ziggler away. Dawkins rallies, Ziggler rolls Dawkins up, TWO! Ziggler facelocks and fisherman’s to a cradle, ONE! Ziggler dropkicks Dawkins down and Ziggler doesn’t care that fans want Randy! Ziggler tags Roode back in, the Dawgs mug Dawkins and Roode whips Dawkins. Dawkins reverses, reels Roode in and EXPLODERS! Roode goes to a corner, Dawkins CYCLONE SPLASHES! Dawkins keeps going but Roode puts him on the apron! Dawkins shoulders but into a kick! Roode mocks Orton with Dawkins in the ropes, but Dawkins slips out to back drop Roode out of the ring!

Roode knocks Riddle’s scooter over, Dawkins goes out to fetch him. Ziggler slithers up but Ford LEAPS in to take him down! Ford stands Riddle’s scooter back up for him as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Roode throws hands but Dawkins throws counter punches. Roode knees low, turns Dawkins and hits a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Roode taunts Dawkins, stomps him down, then drags him up. Tag to Ziggler, the Dawgs mug Dawkins again, and Ziggler rakes Dawkins’ eyes. The ref reprimands, Ziggler taunts Dawkins then digs his boots in. The ref counts, Ziggler lets off at 4 and argues with the ref but Roode chokes Dawkins! Roode gets away with it, Ziggler brings Dawkins up and tags Roode back in. They shove Dawkins into the ring, Roode whips Ziggler in to SPLASH! Then a feed to a kick and another NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Another try, TWO!

Roode argues the count, but he drags Dawkins up and over. Tag to Ziggler, they mug Dawkins more, and Ziggler stomps Dawkins down. Ziggler talks trash to Ford, aims at Dawkins, but Dawkins blocks the superkick and spins Ziggler to the underhooks! SILENCER! Both men are down and fans fire up! Hot tag to Roode, he stops Dawkins with a facelock! Roode gets Dawkins up but Dawkins suplexes him away! Hot tag to Ford! Ford goes up and leaps to CROSSBODY Roode! Ford DECKS Ziggler, Roode kicks and whips but Ford reverses, dodges and FLYING LARIATS! Ford does push-ups and hip thrusts before he fires off kicks!

Roode back suplexes but Ford lands on his feet to kick more! ENZIGURI! Riddle wants to know how many and Orton says that was about five or six. Ford hits a BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Ziggler whips Ford but Ford throws Ziggler out! Roode rolls Ford up, TWO! Ford gets a ghost pin, TWO! Roode is in a corner, he elbows Ford away! Ziggler sneaks a tag, Roode ducks the enziguri! Catapult into the SATELLITE DDT! Cover, Dawkins breaks it in time! Riddle loses his mind on commentary! Dawkins DECKS Roode, but Ziggler runs in! Dawkins throws Ziggler out, gets Roode up but Roode trips Dawkins and brings him out! The Dawgs POST Dawkins!

But Ford FLIES in over the corner!! Even Orton has to stand up for that one! Ford gets Ziggler in, but here comes OMOS! The Mountain of a Man is heading for the ring but refs hurry to stop him! Ford turns around into a SUPERKICK! Ziggler covers, the Dawgs win!!

Winners: The Dirty Dawgs, by pinfall

Omos grins because the damage was still done just by him being here. But Dawkins goes right at him! Omos throws Dawkins into a cameraman! Omos goes to the ring, Ford PLANCHAS, but into Omos’ hands! Omos shouts, “You want me to put him down?!” Omos SLINGS Ford into barriers! Riddle wants to do something, Orton wants him to stop! Riddle runs in and fires off kicks! Omos fireman’s carries and gets Riddle up to SLAM him on the apron! Orton says this is what he tried to stop Riddle from doing, and Orton is furious as he stares down with Omos! Orton throws off his jacket, but will the Viper be able to do a thing to the towering Omos?

 

Backstage interview with Damian Priest.

Can he explain just what happened last week? We’ve never seen that side of Priest. Priest says that side’s always been there, he’s just been able to keep it controlled. Once that side shows its face, people get hurt. Priest gives respect but also expects it in return. Priest had no issue with T-Bar until he threw an armchair at him. If you want to throw hands, Priest is fine with it. But if you disrespect him, he takes you to a dark place. Last week was an introduction. Tonight is No Disqualifications. Now T-Bar can get very acquainted with the “Damian in me.” Will T-Bar survive the darkest parts of the Archer of Infamy?

No Disqualifications: Damian Priest VS T-Bar!

Raw returns and T-Bar makes his entrance. The bell rings, Priest throws hands! T-Bar hits back but Priest fires off kick after kick then a ROLLING ELBOW! T-Bar stays up so Priest clotheslines T-Bar and himself out of the ring! Priest bumps T-Bar off the apron, ROCKS him with a right, but T-Bar knees low and bumps Priest off the apron in return! And then off the desk! T-Bar whips but Priest reverses and sends T-Bar into the barriers! Priest goes looking under the ring and brings out a TABLE! Fans are loving this already as Priest puts that in the ring. But T-Bar BOOTS Priest down! T-Bar snarls, gets Priest up and RAMS him into the barriers!

T-Bar puts the table Priest brought out on the apron, sets it up at ringside, then goes back for Priest. Priest LEAPS off the steel steps and CANNONBALLS T-Bar down! Priest sees the table, brings T-Bar over and choke grips! T-Bar breaks free and ELBOWS Priest! T-Bar CLUBS away on Priest’s back, brings him around and reels him in, but Priest fights off the powerbomb! Priest boots but misses, T-Bar POSTS Priest! T-Bar goes into the ring, drags Priest up to the apron and brings him around to ROCK with a forearm. Priest staggers closer to the table, T-Bar hits him again. T-Bar lines up a shot but Priest dodges the boot to ROUNDHOUSE T-Bar down!

Priest climbs up the corner, but T-Bar SUPERKICKS him first! T-Bar climbs up, fireman’s carries Priest for a SUPER SAMOAN DROP! Priest writhes as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and T-Bar throws hands and stomps Priest in the ring. Priest hits back but T-Bar CLUBS and hammers Priest down! Cover, ONE! T-Bar drags Priest up and talks trash but Priest breaks free to ROCK T-Bar with forearm after forearm! Priest fires off fast hands, then ROUNDHOUSES T-Bar to a corner! Priest runs in to back elbow, then keeps moving, ducks the clothesline to WHEEL KICK! T-Bar staggers up into a BELL CLAP! Suplex for the BROKEN ARROW! Cover, TWO! Priest drags T-Bar back up, T-Bar shoves him to a corner but Priest elbows him away. Priest goes up but T-Bar choke grips! SUPER CHOKE SLAM BACKBREAKER!! Cover, TWO!!

T-Bar is furious, but he stalks Priest to ropes. T-Bar traps Priest’s arms in the ropes! T-Bar stomps away, runs and BOOTS! Fans rally and duel as T-Bar goes out to bring out chairs! He tosses them into the ring, then brings out a kendo stick! T-Bar goes into the ring and he tells Priest this is what he gets. T-Bar SMACKS Priest in the stomach! “You asked for this!” ANOTHER SMACH! And another, and another, until the kendo stick breaks apart! The welts are red, but T-Bar wants blood! He aims the jagged bamboo, but Priest boots T-Bar away! Priest gets free, dodges T-Bar and the stick goes flying! Priest LARIATS T-Bar down! Both men are down and fans rally up!

Priest snarls and sees the chairs T-Bar brought in. Fans want tables but Priest’s wild look returns! Priest has the chair and he SMACKS away on T-Bar’s back! Chairshot after chairshot sends T-Bar rolling to the ropes but Priest keeps on him, then SLAM DUNKS the chair on T-Bar! T-Bar gets to the apron, Priest drags him up to a choke grip! CHOKE SLAM through the TABLE!! Fans are thunderous as the wood explodes under T-Bar’s body! Priest unleashes his inner Damian as he drags T-Bar from the wreckage and into the ring! Priest goes in, snarls and fans want more! Priest drags T-Bar by an arm, drags him up to the dragon sleeper, for THE RECKONING!! Cover, Priest wins!

Winner: Damian Priest, by pinfall

Priest’s rage subsides, and he celebrates this victory! Will T-Bar and the rest of the Raw roster learn not to get on Priest’s bad side?

Wait, here comes Apollo Crews! He has Commander Azeez with him, and Apollo says, “What a match that was! That was a proper mangling! The United States Champion. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Apollo Crews.” Priest says okay. Does that matter? Apollo introduces Azeez, as well, and they have come to breathe new life into Monday Night Raw. “But Damian, don’t you worry, huh? You and I will be closely acquainted soon enough, and the time will come where you will have the privilege and honor to meet me in combat and lose the United States Championship!” The Pride of Nigeria laughs at the prospect of having this title back, but after what Priest just did to T-Bar, is he getting ahead of himself?

 

John Morrison meditates backstage.

Reggie asks him what’s up. How is that search for chi going? It’s going great! Morrison is on the verge of a breakthrough! He can almost reach out and obtain that goal. Uh, okay, Reggie isn’t sure what any of that means, but good luck. R-Truth gets a waistlock and wants Reggie to wish him luck. Reggie switches, throws Tozawa into Truth, then goes up onto the shelving. Reggie rubs in that he’s been champ for 100 days. Truth says that ain’t funny. He’ll get the last laugh! Truth and Tozawa argue but Morrison says they need to align mind and body to obtain their goal. Well then Tozawa’s body ain’t aligning with Truth’s mind!

Tozawa says it’s the other way around, and then they both blame Drake Maverick. Maverick says they’re not following his plans! His plans aren’t working because they’re not good! Team Maverick is on edge, will they ever get this right?

 

Backstage interview with Becky Lynch.

Sarah congratulates Becky but wants to address the nefarious tactics. Oh, Sarah, you are better than this. Becky used what was available. There is a bigger issue we’re not addressing: Even though Becky tore the house down, half the audience booed her! And do you know why? They’re fickle! They’re the same people cheering her on the rise, and now they can’t relate. They don’t know what it’s like to be a success. There is nothing wrong doing whatever it takes to stay champion. Becky proved Bianca was way over her head while The Man is in a league of her own. Someone new needs to come up. And Liv Morgan steps in! Becky shrugs and then leaves. Does this mean Liv will do as Becky’s next challenger?

 

Seth Rollins finds Kevin backstage.

And he assures Kevin he comes in peace. He just wants to make a deal. They don’t have to like each other to work together. Big E is trying to make a fool out of Rollins, and Rollins doesn’t appreciate it. What about a little “you scratch my back, I scratch yours” kind of deal? Rollins will be on commentary for the match, maybe he helps Kevin get the W. Then when Rollins beats Big E to become champion, Kevin gets the first opportunity~! OMG really? Rollins would do that for him~? How nice~! And Kevin enjoys a good back scratch. But uh, he has to say, Rollins wants to come out there and see in person why Kevin should be the Face of Raw, that’s fine.

But if Rollins even thinks for a second about trying to interject himself in the match, especially wearing that, what is wrong with him? But then it’s no longer just Rollins’ business, it is Kevin’s business. And Rollins won’t like how Kevin handles business. Alright, that’s fine. Kevin does his thing, Rollins will do his. Oh what’s Kevin’s thing again? #JustKeepFighting? Right. That worked out really well on SmackDown, and even last week when he lost. So yeah, just keep fighting. Rollins will just keep winning. Rollins laughs his way out, but will Kevin be the one smiling at the end of tonight?

Big E VS Kevin Owens!

Raw returns and Kevin makes his entrance. The bell rings and the two tie up. They go around and Big E shoves Kevin to a corner. Kevin comes back, he and Big E tie up, Kevin rolls Big E up, ONE! Big E gets right up but Kevin backs away with a smirk. They go again, tie up, Kevin trips Big E and drops onto a headlock. Big E endures, fights up, and gets a headlock of his own. Kevin powers up and out then drops down to CLOBBER Big E with an elbow! “And that’s why this is my show!” Kevin says he’s the face of Raw, things speed up and Big E hurdles to CLOBBER Kevin in return! “That’s why I’M the face of Raw, and don’t you ever forget it!”

Big E scoops, Kevin slips out, REVERSE DDT! Cover, TWO! Kevin stomps Big E, drives elbows into Big E’s head, then sets Big E down to drop a leg! Cover, ONE! Kevin argues the count but it was clearly just a one. Big E gets up, Kevin CHOPS him! And CHOPS him! And throws forearms! Kevin RAMS into Big E but Big E CLUBS back. Big E ROCKS Kevin, Kevin knees low! Kevin whips, Big E reverses but Kevin BOOTS back! Kevin hops up, leaps, and missile dropkicks Big E down! Fans fire up, Big E bails out, and Kevin builds speed, but runs into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Big E gets Kevin again, another OVERHEAD Belly2Belly!

Kevin fights the third, throws headbutts and kicks, but no Stunner! Big E runs in but Kevin dumps him out! But Big E trips Kevin before he can run! Big E CLUBS Kevin on the apron, goes up and aims, for an APRON SPLAHS that misses as Kevin gets in! Big E bounces off the edge, Kevin goes up and CANNONBALLS! Direct hit and down goes the world champion! Kevin hobbles up to drop another BACK SENTON! And now Seth Rollins heads to the ring! The Visionary still wants to watch this up close, but will he screw Kevin over now rather than help him? We’ll see, after the break.

Raw returns once again and Kevin has Big E up top. Kevin throws elbows, brings Big E up and Rollins watches from an armchair as Big E resists. Kevin still gets the SUPERPLEX and Rollins loves it! Fans rally up as Big E rises, and Kevin throws hands. Big E hits back, Kevin throws another elbow. Kevin gets the edge with windmilling haymakers, then runs to LARIAT! Big E stays up!? Big E shakes his head, he goes forehead to forehead with Kevin, and the SLAPS start flying! Kevin returns to forearms but DOUBLE LARIATS collide! Both men stay up, Big E runs< Kevin kicks! Big E denies the stunner, they both run and Big E CLOBBERS Kevin! SIDE BELLY2BELLY!

Big E runs and runs to BIG SPLASH FLOP! Kevin avoids it to SUPERKICK Big E down! Kevin aims from a corner, goes corner to corner, CANNONBALL! Rollins winces for that one as Kevin puts Big E in a drop zone. Kevin goes up, SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO! Rollins is surprised to see that! Kevin gets Big E up, whips him to ropes, but Big E slips out of the pop-up to throw Kevin out! Big E runs but Kevin KNEES him down! Kevin gets in, but runs into an Urenag-E! Cover, TWO! Big E drags Kevin up and puts him in a corner. Fans clap, “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” as Big E puts Kevin up top. Big E climbs up now but Kevin throws hands! Kevin headbutts Big E off the top!

Kevin adjusts as Big E is back in a drop zone! SWANTON onto knees! Both men are down and Rollins winces again. Kevin goes to the apron, Big E builds speed and SPEARES Kevin off the apron!! Fans fire up with Big E and even Rollins applauds! Big E puts Kevin in, claps it up and scoops Kevin, but Kevin slips off to RAM Big E into buckles! But Big E knocks into Kevin, head to head! They both go down, Kevin sits up in a daze. The ref is busy checking Kevin, Rollins CLOBBERS Big E off the ropes! Kevin saw that clear as day, even though the ref missed it! Kevin can’t let this opportunity go, though! Cover, TWO and Big E has a ghost pin! BIG E WINS!

Winner: Big E, by pinfall

Rollins can’t believe it! He served the champ up to Kevin but Big E still came out the winner! Big E asks if Rollins and Kevin worked together on that but Kevin gets a mic. “E, wait a minute. Dude, no, I know how that looked. But look, I don’t know what happened. I didn’t know what happened.” Kevin says he was half knocked out by that head knocker. But this is all Rollins’ fault, the stupid SOB. Rollins best this is real funny. How about Kevin VS Rollins next week? “We’ll see who’s laughing then, bitch!” Kevin wants Big E to understand, and he apologizes. Big E says he doesn’t care and is still sure Kevin saw what happened. Kevin still apologizes, but Big E scoops him for the BIG ENDING!

The champion says he knows better when it comes to Kevin and when it comes to Rollins! Will Kevin get the fight with Rollins he wants? Will Big E get the fight with Rollins he wants? Or will Rollins play everyone else against each other and pick his spot to take Big E’s spot?


My Thoughts:

A pretty good Raw right here, with a lot going on and in a good way. Opening with the women’s title match felt like it was going to lead to shenanigans, but it didn’t. Granted, Becky has a dirty win, but it was a great match and this feels much more definitive of a finish to the feud. Liv Morgan stepping up to be next is great, this could really give Liv some shine that the Mella feud clearly did not. Speaking of, I do like that Mella and Vega are being a team, that felt pretty obvious from how they were working together even on SmackDown. As such, they of course find a way to win against the tag champions and are going to get the title shot Nox & Shotzi should’ve gotten months ago. Speaking of, Nox and even Mia Yim need to show up on Raw already.

Theory gets another big win under his belt, even if it was a disqualification thanks to Dom. I wonder if the Draft changed the plans for the Mysterios. I’m not seeing any dysfunction at the moment, though tonight’s result could change that. Maybe they stick together to give the Raw Tag Division more teams? Because honestly, we just saw them all at once during Profits VS Dawgs. Omos either doesn’t like the Profits or is helping the Dawgs. Styles and Omos teaming up with Dawgs would be interesting. And at some point, Omos should test the singles waters, and Styles should go back for the world title.

Veer getting a last name is lowkey great stuff. Many times someone with two names gets cut down to just one, and Veer came in with just one name, so WWE giving him a “full name” is actually really interesting. Either way, I’m pretty sure he’ll get the usual WWE push: squash jobbers and look great, eventually feud with bigger names and then go for the midcard title. Priest VS T-Bar was a badass No DQ match, and that table spot was awesome because that table broke in a way you don’t usually see these days. Now, while I liked Priest giving us just a bit of “Oh, I’ve had that inner rage all along,” I still cringe when Corey Graves has to say Priest is the “embodiment of the internal conflict of man” because you know Vince fed it to him here like he did last week. Just let the story speak for itself, will ya?

Balor VS Gable was very technical, very exciting and fairly short. This was probably just so one, Gable can introduce his new “I have a Master’s Degree” character detail, and so Balor can get a solid win to keep afloat. Maybe Balor gets his title feud after Survivor Series and on the road to WWE Day One. Morrison embracing being the Guru of Greatness and “meditating” is fine, but I kinda wish he won the 24/7 Championship off Reggie somehow. And Maverick’s plans need to be more Wile E. Coyote. These 24/7 title segments continue to just be “Reggie auditions for Ninja Warrior,” which are not as exciting anymore.

Everything with the world title is great stuff. Rollins, Big E and Kevin had a good promo segment together, and it seems the concept of “The Face of Raw” is going to be just as crucial as who is world champion for this stretch of the year. Big E VS Kevin 1v1 was great stuff, as was how Rollins played them against each other. Kevin surely has a part to play in the world title scene building towards Survivor Series. I would love if there was a Triple Threat to play up more of the drama in “Who faces Roman at the PPV?” Rollins VS Big E would be great on its own but you could almost have Big E parallel Roman as he stacks and double pins Rollins and Kevin.

My Score: 8.3/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/17/22)

Is Becky Lynch sweatin’ Doudrop?

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WWE Raw 2022

The Man prepares for the Royal Rumble!

“Doudrop” Piper Niven is coming for the Raw Women’s Championship, and she won’t be Manhandled so easily! How will Becky Lynch counter Piper’s power?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Bianca Belair & Liv Morgan VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch; Piper & Becky win.
  • Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins.
  • Finn Balor VS Austin Theory; Theory wins.
  • Nikki A.S.H. VS Rhea Ripley; No Contest.
  • Reggie w/ Dana Brooke VS Omos; Omos wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: The Street Profits & The Mysterios VS Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez & The Dirty Dawgs; The Street Profits & Mysterios win.
  • Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Seth Rollins; Lashley wins, by disqualification.

PLAY BY PLAY

Becky Lynch heads to the ring!

Tulsa, Oklahoma, The Man has come ’round! Fans chant her name as she gets the mic, and she welcomes them to the Big Time! “Now we are less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble, and the Raw Women’s Division has never been hotter. And whether you like to admit it or not, there’s only one person responsible for that, and that’s me.” Becky says it is so hot that there are stars from generations past, like Lita, Mickie James and the Bella Twins, all hoping that they can win the Rumble and challenge the #VanGOAT at WrestleMania. Face it, they need Becky because she makes stars.

Look no further than Doudrop. Becky has kindly given her the biggest opportunity of her life, a taste of the Big Time at one of the biggest events of the year. The people didn’t get her that! Piper Niven didn’t get it for herself. Becky did that! That is what Becky does! She makes people better, than she beats ’em! But Becky will admit that she admires Piper’s tenacity. She came from the rolling hills of Scotland and made a name for herself. Well no, someone else had to make up a name for her. So Becky will shoot it straight for “Doudou.” A doudrop will never be champion so long as The Man is still here.

But speaking of, here she comes! Piper storms right up to the ring, gets herself a mic and says she’s gonna tell Becky something. “You didn’t get me anything. I got myself this title match at Royal Rumble. But if it was really your plan to face me instead of Bianca, than it’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made. Just make sure you stay well out of my way tonight.” Becky says she did get Piper that win last week, and if Piper just follows her lead, they’ll get a win here tonight. But here comes Bianca Belair! “Oh, Becky. You really out here spittin’ all this nonsense about being the GOAT, the greatEST of all time, but let me remind y’all that you can’t spell greatest without E S T.”

Bianca joins Piper and Becky in the ring as fans chant for “EST! EST!” Bianca reminds us SHE is the EST of WWE. And Doudrop, uh, okay. The only reason Piper is facing Becky is because Ms. Big Time was so scared of Bianca, she interfered in last week’s match. But girl, uh-uh. That’s just buyin’ time. Because Bianca is officially entering the Royal Rumble match! And it’s gonna be every woman for themselves, so if Bianca’s gotta throw out every 29 other women like she did last year, she’ll do it. Then she’ll go main event WrestleMania… again. And Bianca can go after whichever champion she wants, which could be Becky or Piper.

But now, Bianca’s tag partner, Liv Morgan, arrives! “Well, well, well, Bianca. We may be tag teaming tonight, but I am also officially entering myself in the Royal Rumble match. And that’s not all, that’s not all. Because in two weeks, I’m also the one winning it.” But that means Bianca will be one of the 29 she outlasts on the way to WrestleMania. But since we’re on the same page- Piper pretends to snore and then says this is boring. Everyone, shut up and ref, get in here! Piper wants to fight, but it’s Becky who riles up Liv and Bianca, and then uses Piper as a shield! Piper welcomes someone to bring it, but this starts after the break.

 

Chad Gable prepares a speech.

“Greetings and salutations…” Otis walks over, the valedictorian of The Alpha Academy. Will this graduation ceremony go off without a hitch?

 

Bianca Belair & Liv Morgan VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch!

Raw returns and the bell rings, and Bianca dropkicks Piper! Piper stays up but Bianca whips. Piper blocks, reverses, but Bianca goes up tot ell Piper to kiss this. Then Bianca leaps over Piper, spins her around and reels her in, but Piper blocks the suplex. Piper suplexes, Bianca slips out and then dodges in the corner! Piper hits buckles, Bianca ROCKS Piper with a forearm, then runs in to ram Piper. Piper rebounds to run Bianca over! Piper runs, Becky tags in! Piper is annoyed with Becky but Becky says she’s got this. They argue, Becky turns around into a dropkick! Bianca kips up, tags Liv, Liv dodges Becky to DECK Piper and SHOTGUN Becky!

Becky is in a corner, Liv back body blocks, then SHINING WIZARDS! Liv whips, Becky reverses but Liv stops to back elbow. Liv goes up to leap and missile dropkick Becky down! Liv then brings Becky around, springboard CODE BREAKER! Cover, Piper breaks it! Bianca gets in to ROCK Piper, but she can’t lift Piper for the torture rack. Piper shoves Bianca into a corner and SPLASHES! Piper runs at Liv but Liv sends her out! Becky rolls Liv up, has feet on the ropes, TWO! Liv kicks low, KICKS again, then runs in, but Becky dodges! Liv elbows Becky again, but runs into a MANHANDLE SLAM! Cover, Piper breaks it?! But that was her own teammate!

Piper drags Becky out of the way, wants to cover, but she’s not legal! So Piper hurries back to her corner, tags herself in, and then runs to SPLASH Liv! Cover, Piper and Becky win!

Winners: “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch, by pinfall

Then Piper celebrates by giving Becky a VADER SEATED SENTON! Piper laughs as she looms over Becky, but will she have the last laugh at the Rumble?

 

Reggie and Dana Brooke talk with someone.

Reggie knows they’ve faced giants in their career, so can they give Reggie any advice when facing Omos tonight? The person he’s talking to is Edge! Edge thinks, and he tells Reggie that he can do things Edge can’t even comprehend. So he has a chance? Hell no! Beth Phoenix scolds Edge with a smack, and Edge says he still wishes Reggie luck. And Beth talks with Dana real quick. She’s seen Dana bust her butt for years here, so it’s so great Dana has a title. Dana thanks Beth for that, and hurries away to keep up with Reggie. Edge and Beth then see Damian Priest. They shake hands and hug and Priest is happy to see the Grit Couple.

Edge says he likes what he sees with Priest’s other side. Yeah, Priest’s other side is a bit edgy, but being serious here, Priest wants some ideas on the Rumble match. Edge has experience, having won two, one of which he won from starting first. There’s no better man to ask for pointers than Edge. Well cardio is one thing, but the main thing is to keep doing you. Priest’s style is working. Someone brings over a note for Beth, and it’s from Maryse. She wants to meet Beth 1v1, woman to woman. Edge says that’s suspicious. Beth is of course going to go but Edge is going to go with her. Beth agrees, and Edge says he and Priest can talk more later. What will the It Couple have planned for the Grit Couple?

Kevin Owens then walks over to ask Priest something. Kevin is looking forward to their match tonight. Really? Yeah, no lie! He’s looking- Oh, right, because Kevin’s so honest. Yes, especially having a good, clean match. Good competition, show off some technical prowess. But also that side, that nutso, vicious side. That side shouldn’t come out. Kevin is just hoping for them having a good, clean match. Kevin also has an announcement to make, so see you then. Good talk. Kevin and his tie hurries off, but will Priest keep Damian from tearing into the Prizefighter?

Kevin heads to the ring!

The KO Show is back, and tonight’s guest is Seth Freakin’ Rollins! What will Kevin ask his new best buddy? We find out, after the break.

Raw returns and Kevin welcomes us to his show. He wishes he could say it’s good to be here in Tulsa, but that would be a vile lie because this place is brutal. Don’t get mad at him telling the truth! And another truth is that Kevin has a very special guest. He is a man Kevin is proud to call his best friend, and after this man beats Roman Reigns at the Royal Rumble like he has in a plethora of matches before, he will be called the Universal Champion. Please welcome Seth! FRRRRREAKIN’! ROLLINS~! Rollins makes his way out to the ring, fired up as always, but especially now after having evaded a Bloodline beatdown on SmackDown last Friday.

Rollins takes up a mic and Kevin lets Rollins decide if they sit or stand. Rollins wants to stand, so he and Kevin kick the chairs aside. Kevin thanks Rollins for accepting his invitation to be a guest. Kevin wants to tell Rollins that he admires Rollins so much. There is so much Kevin admires about Rollins. From the great suits, like this striped one. He looks like a million bucks! MAHVELOUS! And even more so, Kevin admires Rollins’ courage. Do people realize how much guts it took for Rollins to show up on SmackDown, into the lion’s den, get face to face with Roman, and berate him into realizing that “The Head of the Table” is only possible because Rollins set the table.

“Yes, yes, yes! Kev, you hit the nail on the head right there!” Friday got a little testy, but the truth is, Roman’s rattled. Roman’s nervous, and dare Rollins say, Roman is scared. He’s scared! You heard it here first! Roman took the low road taking shots at Rollins’ family, sending the Usos after him. But everyone saw that the Usos couldn’t get the job done. Rollins says Roman is playing checkers while Rollins is playing chess! If Roman keeps this up, winning at the Rumble will be like taking candy from a baby. A little baby Roman! And Rollins will turn the title from blue to red and bring the Universal Championship back to their show, Monday Night Raw!

That’s huge! When Rollins wins, he’s staying on Raw with Kevin! Yes, 100%! Incredible! Then that means Raw has the best champion! Raw wouldn’t need Lesnar or Lashley, they’d have Rollins! Kevin again hits the nail on the head. Get rid of Lesnar. Rollins has a match with Lashley tonight, they can get rid of Lashley tonight! Who knows? Kevin likes the sound of that. But he has something of his own to announce and it is “earth shattering.” It will change the face of the industry! Right here and now, Kevin is officially declaring for the Royal Rumble! Rollins says that IS earth shattering!

Kevin will win the Rumble, Rollins will beat Roman, and the WWE Universe will get the match they… well, not deserve. But they’ll get the biggest Mania main-event ever! SETH FREAKIN’ ROLLINS VS KEVIN FREAKIN’ OWENS! Rollins likes where Kevin’s head is at. But here comes Damian Priest! Rollins says this is his time and Kevin’s show! If Priest steps any closer, Kevin will kick his ass! Kevin wants Rollins to stop but Priest tells Rollins to shut up! They’re both delusional idiots! There is not one person on this planet that believes Rollins will win at the Rumble. And Kevin is just a liar, so he isn’t winning, either.

And if Kevin doesn’t want to see Damian, then don’t wake him up. Oh and by the way, Priest talked with Pearce and Sonya. Their match tonight? That starts NOW! Kevin is freaking out, but Rollins tries to encourage him. Will it not matter when the Archer of Infamy takes aim?

 

Veer Mahaan.

In the animal kingdom, the lion bides its time as it hunts its prey. Step by step, until it finally strikes, leaving only scraps for the hyenas. When will the Million Dollar Arm finally strike?

 

Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens!

Raw returns and the bell rings. They tie up, Kevin waistlocks, but Priest pries free to wrench to a wristlock. Kevin rolls, headlocks, but Priest uses a chinbar to push Kevin back and power out. Kevin rams Priest, but then Kevin apologizes, Things speed up, Priest runs Kevin over with a shoulder! Priest runs in at the corner, but Kevin puts him on the apron! Kevin elbows Priest away, but Priest ROUNDHOUSES back! Priest steps in but into a SHOTGUN! Kevin stomps Priest at the ropes, lets off as the ref counts, then drags Priest to center for a SENTON! Kevin wraps on a chinlock and leans on Priest but fans rally up.

Priest fights up, priest the hold open but Kevin CLUBS him on the back. Kevin CHOPS, whips, but Priest reverses. Kevin KCISK back, CHOPS again, and CHOPS! Priest snarls, but Kevin apologizes again. This is just good, clean wrestling! Priest cools off, but then he fires off fast hands! WHEEL KICK! Kevin goes to a corner, Priest runs in but Kevin bails out. Fans boo, Priest keeps cool, but then Priest goes out the side. Priest runs in around the way, leaps off the steps, into a SUPERKICK! Kevin gets back in the ring to refresh the count, then FROG SPLASHES off the apron! Kevin roars while Priest sputters! Kevin drags Priest up and in as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Priest CLOBBERS Kevin! Fans fire up as Priest aims from a corner, and Priest throws haymakers! Priest fires off KICK after KICK, then a ROLLING ELBOW! Kevin rebounds, into a FLAPJACK! Priest runs at Kevin in the corner, for a big back elbow! Priest reels Kevin in, but Kevin wrenches out to ROCK Priest! Kevin whips, Priest rebounds to LARIAT! Priest gets Kevin up for the BROKEN ARROW! Cover, TWO! Priest is annoyed but he drags Kevin up. Priest ROCKS Kevin with a right, hoists him up top in the corner and ROCKS him again! Priest climbs up, but Kevin hits back!

Priest and Kevin brawl, Priest gets the edge. Priest brings Kevin up, but Kevin blocks the superplex! Kevin throws body shots, and even a headbutt! Kevin headbutts again, Priest falls down! Kevin adjusts, SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives and Kevin thinks of what he has to do now. Kevin aims, kicks but no stunner! Kevin ducks the heel kick, tries gain, but Priest dragon sleepers! But Kevin slips free to pop Priest up, SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives again and Kevin is shocked! Fans rally up, Kevin aims, kicks, but Priest blocks to spin and ROUNDHOUSE! Kevin wobbles into a choke grip, SOUTH OF HEAVEN CHOKE SLAM! Cover, TWO!!

Priest is shocked that Kevin survives! Kevin rolls away to a corner but Priest follows. Priest throws hands, whips Kevin corner to corner, but Kevin falls, clutching his leg. The ref checks on Kevin, Kevin flounders up saying it’s cramping up. The ref wants a medic to check this, fans boo but Priest isn’t sure what to make of this. But then Kevin suckers him in for a STUNNER!! Cover, Kevin wins!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by pinfall

Priest was right about Kevin being a liar! But now, Kevin could also be a contender! Will Kevin add the US Championship to his Road to WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Nikki A.S.H.

What is her plan heading into tonight’s match with former tag partner, Rhea Ripley? Nikki tells Sarah that this is no different than any other match. It is clear to Nikki now that she stands on her own, and she couldn’t feel any better. Rhea should be down and out, completely mortified after being proven the friend Nikki didn’t think she was. But Nikki, you were the one who attacked Rhea- Sarah, you need to get your facts straight! Rhea is the one who broke up the team. Rhea is the one who decided to take their friendship and flush it! She is the villain, not Nikki! And Nikki is the closest thing that the people of Tulsa will ever have to a real hero. She will be the People’s Hero.

And sometimes, heroes have to do things that regular people don’t understand. After tonight, Rhea will realize that she needs a superhero, whether she likes it or not. Nikki strikes her superhero pose and walks away, but will Rhea’s brutality smack some sense into her?

 

The Alpha Academy heads to the ring.

Pomp & Circumstance plays because today is Otis’ graduation! Will the NEW Raw Tag Team Champions be celebrating on top of their big title victory from last week?

Raw returns and Gable is at the podium. “Greetings and salutations my fellow colleagues and… Oh who am I kidding? I don’t have any colleagues here, considering I’m an Olympian with a Master’s Degree that did it with an immaculate 4.0 GPA! Thank you! Don’t do that. Don’t boo education. That’s gross, everybody.” But it makes sense, since the odds of anyone in Oklahoma having a Master’s, let alone graduating high school, are slim to none! Now shoosh! Tonight is about celebrating. Not just an institution but an individual. Gable could go on and on about himself, because his list is long.

But tonight is about a man who overcame the odds. An absolute tree trunk in the ring and a great student in the classroom. Gable’s prized pupil, his protégé, his number one guy, OTIS! Gable’s so proud. Last week, Otis applied the lessons and passed his final exam by decimating the moronic RKBRO and claimed the Academy’s rightful spot as tag team champions! So tonight, it is Gable’s honor and pleasure- Fans chant with “RKBRO! RKBRO!” They’re trying to have a ceremony for Otis! Gable presents to Otis, who has no last name anymore, the highest graduating honors from the Alpha Academy! The music plays again as they hug it out.

Gable says Otis has the floor. Look at that face! Otis thanks Chad, and says Gable has helped him reach his full potential. But now he has a warning: expect pure carnage for anyone who messes with the titles! They ain’t stopping, and they ain’t ever gonna stop! But here comes Matt Riddle! The Bro is in his own graduation gown, but it has mismatched sleeves… Riddle asks, “What’s up, bros? Big O, you’re looking pretty, pretty tight. And you guys don’t even wanna know what I had to get this graduation gown on time.” But when he got invited to this ceremony, he knew he had to make a very special speech.

Riddle brings out his speech, written on a napkin from this morning’s breakfast buffet. “Fellow graduates and Tulsinians. IT felt like just last week, Randy and I were the WWE Raw Tag Team Champions. We were livin’ on the edge, drivin’ with the top down, lettin’ the wind blow through our hair. We were just a couple o’ young, wild stallions runnin’ free. But today is graduation day. And our lives will change forever. Randy would always say, ‘Life comes at ya pretty fast.'” Gable stops him there, he has no idea what he’s going on about. Riddle was NOT invited to this. And Oklahoma can’t afford to lose another braincell, so just be on your way.

Riddle has “Gablestiltskin” take it easy. Riddle wants to say how proud he is of them. Them and their astronomical necks. See? He can use big words, too, Chad! Gable says Riddle is an idiot. He already ruined Otis’ night, so get to the point. RKBRO wants a rematch? Problem is, Riddle probably can’t even define the word rematch. Riddle so can! A rematch is… uh… when you have to light something up twice! Like a candle! But hey, a rematch sounds like a pretty sick idea. Fans wanna see it! Gable knew it. No wonder Orton left Riddle high and dry. Where even is he? Riddle unzips his gown to show off his “Hey Raaaandy” shirt.

Gable and Otis will give them a rematch, under one condition: they have to prove their mental aptitude in an Alpha Academy Academic Challenge! Otis suddenly looks worried. TO spell it out, it’s Riddle & Randy VS the Academy to prove the smarter team! Because we already saw who the physically dominant team is! Whoa, an academic challenge? Like Billy Madison? Or more like Wheel of Fortune? Riddle loves spinning that wheel, and maybe he and Otis could run in a giant hamster wheel. Gable kinda looks like a jacked hamster, but with three times the brains. Otis is furious and throws off his gown! Riddle wants Otis to back it up and cool off.

Otis storms up the ramp, barking about this being his night! But Orton gets in the ring to RKO Gable!! And then Riddle trips up Otis on the apron! RKBRO got one over on the Academy, and now Orton wears one of the red graduation gowns! Orton gets the mic to then tell the Academy, “We accept!” Will Riddle & Orton get PhDs in kicking the Academy’s asses?

 

Austin Theory visits Vince McMahon.

Theory thanks Vince for the rematch with Finn Balor. But uh, what’s Vince watching on his TV? It was the previous match, where Finn won. Oh… Theory knows he lost, but then he beat the hell outta Finn and nearly ended his career. In fact, it was like a half victory. No such thing. So tonight, Theory needs to beat Finn and beat him up. If Theory doesn’t, Vince will get someone to drag Theory to this office and Vince will beat Theory up! Smash him all over, and by the time he’s finished, it’ll just be blood, snot and broken teeth. Then Vince will take a selfie with that. And send it to Mama Theory! Oh… Theory has been warned, will he make good on this rematch?

 

WWE honors Martin Luther King Jr.

“Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. That all men would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” That dream of MLK’s, where we judge not by the color of skin but by character, is still alive. We will all reach the Promised Land together.

 

Finn Balor VS Austin Theory!

Raw returns and Theory makes his entrance. The Prince is back after being out a month, will he make Theory pay for every minute he’s missed? The bell rings, they circle and tie up, and Theory puts Finn on ropes. The ref counts, Theory lets off but Finn blocks the cheap shot to kick and headlock! Finn thrashes to grind Theory down, Theory powers out but Finn ducks and dodges, only for Theory to CLOBBER him with an elbow! Theory drags Finn out of the ring to smack off the apron! And then whip him into barriers! Theory goes into the ring and the ring count climbs. Finn stands but Theory goes out after him.

Theory whips, Finn reverses, and Theory hits barriers! Finn then hits a SLINGBLADE! Theory writhes, the count is rising, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Finn rallies, trips and DOUBLE STOMPS Theory down! Theory goes to a corner, Finn runs in and CHOPS! Finn whips Theory corner to corner, Theory reverse but Finn reverses back, ELBOW DROP DDT! Cover, TWO! Finn snarls, Theory crawl to ropes and Finn KICKS him out of the ring! Finn drags Theory up but Theory HOTSHOTS! Theory somersaults in, but into a SLINGBLADE! Finn then runs, into a LARIAT from Theory! Theory hauls Finn up to FLAPJACK HOTSHOT! Fireman’s carry, A T- NO! Finn makes it a roll up, TWO! Theory and Finn get up, and Finn goes to the apron. Finn shoulders into Theory, GAMANGIRIS, then climbs up!

But Theory avoids the Coup De Grace to somersault SHOTGUN! Fireman’s carry, A T L!! Cover, Theory wins!

Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall

Theory saves himself from Vince’s wrath, and he gets his victory selfie. But to make good on what Vince told him, Theory fires off fists! Theory then drags Finn up, fireman’s carries again, for another A T L! Theory tells Finn to expect the unexpected. But will Finn find a way to teach Theory and Mr. McMahon respect for The Prince?

 

Nikki A.S.H. VS Rhea Ripley!

Before the match, Rhea is interviewed backstage. How does she respond to Nikki saying it was Rhea who ruined the relationship? Rhea says she never intended for this to hurt their friendship. But Nikki made up her mind. Rhea isn’t one to forgive very easily, so what kind of hero attacks a friend? If Rhea’s the villain here, than Nikki’s more delirious than Rhea thought. It’s time to remind everyone who Rhea Ripley is. Is Nikki in for a Nightmare tonight?

Raw returns and Nikki makes her entrance, but then so do Queen Zelina Vega and Carmella. Mella says, “Hear ye, hear ye, Tulsa. The Most Beautiful Woman in All of WWE and Your Queen have arrived to tell everyone in this dusty arena that everything we predicted about Nikki A.S.H. has come true.” Zelina’s word is absolute, and therefore she is correct by default. Not only is she a beloved queen, but also a fairy godmother. Rhea would never have been rid of Nikki without their little push. Rhea should be thanking them! Because they’ve been telling Rhea for weeks that if she stuck with an Almost Superhero, she’d never be nothing more than an almost threat.

But seems things are too late. Rhea doesn’t look like anything more than a low class loser. Without Nikki as her security blanket, does Rhea have what it takes? As Zelina’s said, you’re either the most powerful women in the room, or you’re nothing. Zelina is queen, but Rhea will be standing there, covered in trash, looking for someone to leech off of. Rhea doesn’t have the guts to be champion all on her own. Rhea tells them to bring it, then, but Nikki goes after Rhea! The ref wants Nikki to let off, but Nikki keeps hammering Rhea down! Rhea hits back but Nikki throws Rhea down! Nikki is seething, and then she drags Rhea up. Rhea kicks Nikki away but Nikki throws her out!

Nikki WRECKS Rhea with a dropkick, then goes out to RAM her into steel steps! The Almost Superhero leaves Rhea down, but the match is called off. Will Rhea get right? Or will she get revenge?

 

Dana Brooke and Reggie regroup backstage.

What did they talk about? Staying low and staying mobile. That’s right! Reggie is faster, stronger and amazing! Use Omos’ size against him, tire him out, and go for the legs. Meanwhile, R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Tamina, and a referee are watching while eating popcorn. Dana says Reggie can be vicious and ruthless while also super athletic. Reggie says, “Who am I kidding?” He ran into Omos full speed and bounced off him! Dana says Reggie is the most capable man she knows. Just stay away from him. But even Dana looks worried. Truth says Dana must really hate Reggie. She just told him to get got! Will Reggie even survive his run-in with Omos?

Reggie w/ Dana Brooke VS Omos!

Raw returns and Reggie makes his entrance. Dana is cheering him on, but she still looks very worried. Omos points out the clear height difference, and then he roars! Even that scares Reggie! But then here come the 24/7 Championship hunters! Dana runs into the ring, scoots under Omos and out the other side. Omos catches Tozawa, TOSSES him out, then CLOBBERS Truth! Tamina stares Omos down and Reggie climbs the corner. Tamina goes around Omos, the bell rings, and Reggie leaps! Into Omos’ arms! Omos uses both hands for the MOUNTAIN TOSS! Omos says it’s that easy. Cover, Omos wins.

Winner: Omos, by pinfall

Omos didn’t break a sweat with that one! Will the colossus of Raw continue to dominate until he’s on top of the world?

 

Maryse heads to the ring!

As her note said, she is here to talk with Beth face-to-face. But will that all this be? Or do Miz & Mrs. have a plan for the Glamazon? We find out, after the break.

Raw returns and Maryse has a mic to say, “Bonsoir (good evening), Tulsa.” She assures us The Miz couldn’t make it. He has a very big mouth and likes to agree to things without asking her first, so tonight, she is cleaning up his mess. She then asks Beth to come out alone so they can do this right. Woman to woman, wife to wife and mother to mother, Maryse wants to talk. Beth makes her entrance, but Edge still follows her out. Maryse wants Edge to wait on the ramp until they’ve had this conversation. There aren’t many ways to put this, but the match at the Rumble, it has to be canceled. Uh, okay. This oughta be good, so Beth is all ears.

Maryse says she doesn’t want it, surely Beth doesn’t want it, and the fans don’t want it! Fans boo, they DO want it. Maryse is trying to have a heartfelt moment, guys. Really? Really? Really? Maryse is sure sounding like Miz here… Maryse says she has the mic, so she can be louder than everyone here. It doesn’t matter what you think! Now she’s The Rock? But anyway, Maryse wants Beth to listen. They’re from the same generation in WWE. They fought together. Remember those two minute matches? Fans chant, “You Suck!” but Maryse asks if they’re done.

But Beth, c’mon. They fought together and made the Women’s Division what it is today! They’re great at what they do! Just look at them! Women nowadays main event WrestleMania thanks to these two! So if anything, Maryse thinks that they should be on the same team. They should be a unit! Friends! Even their daughters can be friends! They can have play dates, dinners, or even just a coffee. Beth wants Maryse to know that she speaks for everyone here when she says, “Just shut up!” Seriously? BFF’s? Playdates? Is anyone buying this? NOPE! So that means Maryse takes acting lessons from The Miz.

Beth boils it down to a simple answer: the match is NOT off. Beth is NOT missing the chance to tag team with her husband for the first time ever. And she is NOT missing the chance to Glam Slam Maryse’s ass through the canvas! In fact, why not give the fans a preview? Beth storms up to the ring but Maryse stays put. Wait, Miz attacks Edge at the ramp! But Edge DECKS Miz! Maryse really was lying about Miz being at home! But then Maryse CLOBBERS Beth with her purse! What’s in that bag?! Maryse and Miz decide to show us: it was a BRICK! A literal BRICK! Maryse tosses her hair back and celebrates with The Miz. But will Edge and Beth only look to break The It Couple for that one?

 

The Street Profits are fired up backstage!

Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford have a dream! The dream is that they have a plan and will execute it and win! The best part is, they do it in Tulsa, Oklahoma~! YESSIR! All the bodies in the ring, it’ll be like a mini Rumble. Which is great cuz the Profits were the first to declare for this year’s Rumble! Their first one, tossin’ bodies! But will Ford throw Dawkins? Rey Mysterio & Dom walk over to say not to worry. They’re a team tonight, and they’ll also be in the Rumble. Rey has to get this off his chest: Los Mysterios will outlast 28 other men in the Rumble. And then, not only will they throw those guys out, they’ll take the Mysterio name back to the Mania main event!

Okay, all due respect, that’s only if the Profits don’t make it there first. Because the Profits are up! And WE WANT THE SMOKE! Will these four burn it down to then light it up on the Road to WrestleMania?

8 Man Tag: The Street Profits & The Mysterios VS Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez & The Dirty Dawgs!

Raw returns and the Dawgs make their entrance. Then the Pride of Nigeria and his right hand man make their entrance. Teams sort out, Dolph Ziggler starts against Dom. They tie up, Dom waistlocks but Ziggler elbows free. Ziggler talks trash, runs, but Dom follows to RANA! Dom runs at Ziggler in the corner but Ziggler CLOBBERS Dom! Tag to Robert Roode and he stomps Dom. Roode drags Dom up, suplexes, but Dom knees free! Dom kicks low, tags Rey, and Rey gets a boost to RANA! Rey whips, Roode reverses but Rey dodges and tilt-o-whirl headscissors! Rey runs in but Roode puts him on the apron. Rey DECKS Roode, climbs, and leaps, but the rana is blocked

Roode brings Rey up, but Rey RANAS Roode out of the ring! Ziggler and Dom get in, Dom whips but Ziggler throws Dom up and out! Ford and Dawkins DROPKCIK Ziggler out! All eight men are on the outside now and shouting, but the ref keeps the peace while Raw goes to break!

Raw returns, Roode tags Ziggler and the Dawgs double whip Rey to double elbow him down. Then the Dawgs hit Rey’s corner to knock everyone down! Fans boo but Ziggler drags Rey over to tag Apollo. Apollo hits a STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Ziggler is upset on Apollo’s behalf, but Apollo decides he’ll finish it now. Apollo gets Rey up, trophy lifts, but Rey fights free to a DDT! Both men are down and fans fire up! Rey crawls, Dawks is back! Hot tag to the Curse of Greatness! And he rallies on everyone! He hurdles Apollo to hit a FLYING BACK ELBOW! Roode runs into an EXPLODER! Ziggler runs into an EXPLODER!

Dawkins gives Apollo a CYCLONE SPLASH, then the SILENCER! But Azeez gets in to break the cover! Ford returns to ENZIGURI Azeez out! The Dawgs TOSS Ford out! But the Mysterios dropkick the Dawgs onto the ropes! STEREO 619’s! Dom goes up and out to LEAP at Azeez! But Azeez catches him! Rey jumps to add on, the Mysterios take out Azeez! But Apollo rolls Dawkins up! TWO, and pop-up for SKY HIGH! Tag to Ford, he’s up top! FROM THE HEAVENS!! Cover, the Profits & Mysterios win!

Winners: The Street Profits & The Mysterios, by pinfall

Ford was five-star again with that splash, but then the Mysterios decide to dump the Profits out! Rey says that’s nothing personal, just a sample of the Rumble. And then he dumps Dom out! The son’s got a lot to learn still. But will Dom & Rey look to be in that final handful at the Rumble to put their name back on the WrestleMania marquee?

 

WWE looks at the parallels of Lashley and Lesnar.

“Forge: to form by heating and hammering; to beat into shape.” Great warriors are born at the forge, shaped by the heat of the fire and tried in the brutality of combat. This is the beginning of two such warriors. “The great plains often invoke idyllic dreams of an unending cascades of crops and green pastures. But in winter, these dreams are overtaken by the harsh reality of desolation and decay. It is here that the heart of a Beast was forged, and a Conqueror was born.” Brock Lesnar is a two-time NCAA All American with over 100 victories, and the NCAA Division I Heavyweight Champion. And just five months after his WWE debut, The Next Big Thing was WWE Champion.

After ravaging every challenger in the WWE, the Beast would go to the UFC, and in just three fights, he’d reign supreme as the UFC Heavyweight Champion. Then upon returning to the WWE, Lesnar’s path of devastation continued. He took 16-time WWE Champion John Cena to Suplex City, ended The Undertaker’s WrestleMania undefeated streak, and cemented his dominance as a three-time Universal and six-time World Champion. He is a Beast without limits, without remorse, and without fear.

“Discipline. Restraint. Control. It is from these fires that the All Mighty was forged. Son of a US Army drill sergeant, Bobby Lashley learned at an early age that only by rigorously harnessing his natural ability that he would the greatness that he sought.” A three-time NAIA wrestling champion, Lashley would follow his father’s footsteps into the Army, and he honed his craft onto his way to winning gold in the Armed Forces Championship. Lashley would emerge in WWE as a peak physical specimen, unleashing a torrent of physical power and ferocity. But while he won gold, Lashley couldn’t quite find that next level.

A sojourn into MMA ignited the fires and Lashley had a 15-2 record. Then he’d return to the WWE and he would unleash havoc on opponent after opponent with his arsenal of high impact moves, headlined by the Hurt Lock full nelson. He would become United States Champion, Intercontinental Champion, and ultimately, WWE World Champion. Now, Lashley is ready for the one challenge that eluded him. For 20 years, Lashley believes Lesnar was ducking him. But Lesnar is confident that if they’d met before, Lesnar would’ve already beaten him. But the Royal Rumble will see the champion Beast collide with an All Mighty challenger.

These paths have finally crossed. Two warriors, forged in flame, battle and gold, fight for the ultimate prize. Only one emerges THE WWE World Champion. Will the ring even stay standing as these wage war?

 

The Miz & Maryse are heading out.

Kevin Patrick stops them to ask about that vicious attack. Miz says it took ONE SHOT to take down the Glamazon! Now Beth needs medical attention! Now the Grit Couple is the SH- Maryse stops Miz there. The girls are watching at home. Oh, right. Daddy loves ya, girls! And Miz loves Mommy. He is the best husband ever, because he remembered that Maryse’s birthday is next week! So before saying bonny nut- No, no, it’s bonne nuit. The T is silent. Right, bonne nuit to the Grit Couple, Miz is going to throw the most expensive, extravagant and amazing birthday party that anyone has ever seen, because Miz loves Maryse.

Nothing, especially not Edge & Beth, is stronger than their love. These two make-out right in front of us… But will announcing the birthday party here come back to bite the It Couple?

 

Alexa Bliss has another therapy session.

She and her therapist sit quietly a moment before he welcomes her back. He’s happy to say that there are less breakable things here in the office. She isn’t sure about that. But these sessions will continue. He will not tolerate a repeat of last week, though. He does apologize for showing her such a sensitive subject, but he had to know where she stood psychological. He promises her that she will be on the road to recovery. Neat. Now, let’s do word association. Okay, sure. How does she feel about the word, “Trust.” “Lily.” Friend? Lily. Home? Lily. Doll… Lily. Imaginary. Alexa gets up out of her seat and glares at him. Okay, time’s up.

The doc bolts but Alexa cools off. She sits back down, looks around the room, but stays quiet. Will Alexa ever get over her twistedly tragic past?

 

Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Seth Rollins!

The Rocky Mountain Machine is ready to wreck everything, including Brock Lesnar. Meanwhile, The Visionary is preparing to repeat history and defeat Roman Reigns once again. But who will have some major momentum on their side going towards those titanic title matches? The main event of top championship challengers begins after the break!

Raw returns and Rollins makes his entrance. The bell rings and Lashley glares while Rollins smirks. The two circle, fans rally up, and the two tie up. Rollins headlocks, Lashley powers up to power out, but Rollins duck sand dodges. Lashley hurdles then runs Rollins over! Fans cheer as Lashley mocks Rollins’ pose. The two reset, circle and tie up again. Rollins waistlocks, Lashley uses ropes to buck Rollins away, but Rollins hurdles and drops to then go perpendicular, SLINGBLADE! Rollins kicks, reels Lashley in, but Lashley back drops free! Lashley stalks Rollins, but Rollins fights the full nelson! Rollins drops to KICK Lashley, then he dumps Lashley out!

Rollins builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit but Lashley stays up! Rollins goes back in, builds speed again, DIVES, but into a clinch! OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Lashley roars and Rollins flounders while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Rollins has Lashley down now! Rollins drags Lashley to a corner to SLAM a leg against the post! Rollins SLAMS the leg again, talks trash to MVP, then gets in as the ring count reaches 5 of 10. Rollins drags Lashley up, puts the bad leg in the ropes, pulls until the ref counts, then dropkicks the leg! Lashley falls, Rollins drags him to center and steps through to drop a leg on the knee! Lashley snarls and fans rally up. MVP coaches Lashley, but Rollins drops another leg on the bad knee! And then another! Rollins has the toehold, ties up the legs, but Lashley fights, only for Rollins to still get the Indian Deathlock!

Rollins keeps Lashley’s hands away while Lashley endures the hold. Rollins SLAPS Lashley in the side, but Lashley pulls hair! The ref reprimands, Lashley lets go but he punches Rollins! Rollins lets the legs free, but then he gets the bad one for a DRAGON SCREW! And into a HALF CRAB! Lashley endures, even as Rollins sits deep! Lashley powers up, fans rally up, and Lashley turns, only for Rollins to stomp the leg! Rollins has the Half Crab again! MVP coaches Lashley more but Rollins talks trash on “Bob.” Lashley fights up, turns things over, and he boots Rollins away! Rollins falls out of the ring but he’s right back in! Lashley avoids the stomp for a COMPLETE SHOT!

MVP says that’s the All Mighty Lashley he knows! Lashley grits his teeth and pushes up, just as Rollins also sits up. Rollins turns around into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And then another! Lashley runs in at the corner, to RAM into Rollins! Lashley turns Rollins around, NECKBREAKER! Lashley fires up and Tulsa fires up with him! Lashley gets Rollins up, suplexes, but Rollins fights free! Lashley kicks low to gut wrench, DOMINATOR! Cover, TWO!! Rollins survives but MVP coaches Lashley to keep going. Lashley aims from a corner, Rollins rises, Lashley runs in, into a KNEE! Rollins hits a ROLLING ELBOW! Then runs, but into a scoop!

Rollins slips out, shoves Lashley into buckles, then kicks low! Rollins underhooks the arms, PEDIGREE!! Cover, TWO!?! Lashley survives but Rollins is too tired to be shocked! Fans rally behind Lashley but Rollins stands. Rollins goes to a corner, climbs up top, but Lashley gets him with a choke grip! Lashley climbs up, but Rollins fights with elbows! But Lashley clinches, for a SUPER BELLY2BELLY!! Rollins goes flying to the other side of the ring! Lashley gets back to a corner but the Hurt Business go after him!!

Winner: Bobby Lashley, by disqualification

Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin mug Lashley but Lashley fights back! That’s still 2v1, and they POST him! Alexander & Benjamin shout that he’s brought this upon himself, and then the POST Lashley again! They glare at MVP but then drag Lashley back up. But Lashley DOUBLE SUPLEXES them instead! COMPLETE SHOT for Benjamin! Fireman’s carry and the POST for Alexander! Lashley SPEARS Benjamin through barriers! Rollins is shocked at seeing the carnage, but the USOS run out from the crowd! Rollins turns around, into DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! Jimmy & Jey make up for missing the target on SmackDown!

Rollins lost the match and then got got! Will he stand a chance of dethroning the Head of the Table if the Usos can get him on his show? As for Lashley, will he be able to go for the gold if he has his former henchmen coming after him?


My Thoughts:

This was a decent episode, but with really glaring low points. Does Vince just hate Women’s Wrestling again? Why is it that the matches tonight were basically filler to move the story along? Nikki VS Rhea being No Contest was whatever since it at least went with story. But that opening tag match had Becky, Piper, Bianca and Liv, all of which are basically the stars of the Raw Women’s Division. Yet Vince couldn’t be bothered to give that match more than a bathroom break amount of time! I suppose because it was Piper ending it all very quickly, we’re supposed to think Piper is that great, but honestly it just hurt all four women. If Bianca was taken out by just a corner splash, how is she to win the Rumble?

Finn VS Theory 2 was also way too short. I get there was a commercial break in the middle but that just makes it worse. Theory winning was clean also a shame, and not because of Vince’s weird threat to him. I get that Theory needed to win to make a feud out of this, but why not dirty it up a little? When is Finn going to get a chance to comment on how Theory is Vince’s pet project and all that? This whole thing is just hurting my brain. And only a little less than the Veer Mahaan videos coming back. He better show up in the Rumble. And this week’s Alexa therapy session was filler. It was just her associating everything with Lily but not even in a more compelling way than last week’s “triggered Alexa” vignette.

We got a good 8 Man Tag but it was also on the short side. It was pretty standard Rumble season stuff for Rey & Dom to dump the Profits out, but Rey dumping Dom was a bit of a surprise. Maybe Dom will do the same during the Rumble on Rey? I did appreciate them weaving three backstage segments into one, going from Reggie wanting advice from Edge but basically striking out, and then Edge talking with Priest and then Priest talking with Kevin. If Dana still has the 24/7 title come the Women’s Rumble, can that title end up hot potato’d around to end up on someone from SmackDown? Or does Fox just hate that title?

Omos of course destroyed Reggie, but I almost thought he was going to somehow end up 24/7 champion. That’d probably put the end to the title, though, because who would even try to take it from him? Kevin had a very good match with Priest, and his win definitely puts him in line for the US Championship, but who knows if Kevin will even go for it with him so closely connected to Rollins in their stories. And we got a good promo segment out of Maryse and Beth. But Maryse bringing up the Diva Era short matches and yet we got a short women’s match here, the irony clearly goes over Vince’s thick head. That brick in the purse, though. And telegraphing the birthday stuff for next week, Maryse’s cake is definitely going into someone’s face.

The Alpha Academy graduation was a pretty good segment. I am sure Riddle was referencing something but I can’t place it. I can’t believe they’re kayfabing that Otis never had the last name “Dozovic.” That’s taking Vince’s love of editing names to a new, dumber level. But I loved the face Otis made when Gable said they were going to have a tag team academic challenge. He’s going to end up the weak link for his team since this graduation was based on his in-ring skills. The Lesnar Lashley vignette was well made, but a rather melodramatic theme in the narration. After the string of short matches, it just felt like WWE trying too hard to be cinematic and not enough about action.

Lashley VS Rollins was great stuff, until the Hurt Business “ruined” things. It just keeps reminding us of how flippant they’ve been with that faction’s story. They work together against Goldberg but then not together against Lesnar, and now the Hurt Business is just being thrown at Lashley in an attempt to build Lashley as brutal and dominant without it being in the matches. The Usos getting the drop on Rollins was pretty good, though, since that carries over from SmackDown. If they’d let it just be the Usos trying to mess with Rollins, I think things would’ve felt a bit better.

My Score: 8/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Dark: Elevation Results & Report! (1/17/22)

Raleigh gets Elevated!

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AEW Elevation Coverage

A lucky seven for Elevation!

AEW continues in Raleigh and has a strong seven for Elevation! Jay Lethal is keeping himself sharp for what could be an FTW Championship showdown!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Matt Sydal & Lee Moriarty VS JR Miller & Marcus Kross; Sydal & Moriarty wins.
  • Tay Conti VS Ameera; Conti wins.
  • Gunn Club VS JB Cole & T.I.M; Gunn Club wins.
  • Frankie Kazarian VS Labron Kozone; Kaz wins.
  • Ruby Soho VS Kenzie Page; Soho wins.
  • Private Party VS Chase Emory & Patrick Scott; Private Party wins.
  • Jay Lethal VS Alexander Moss; Lethal wins.

QUICK NOTES

Pretty clear cut stuff here, but I like that we’re seeing Sydal & Moriarty in tag action again. Kenzie Page is back in AEW and she’ll give Ruby Soho a good match. Good to see Kaz back in action, they kinda let the ball drop on his Elite Hunter story but maybe he can build himself up towards the TNT Championship. And I have a feeling in Gunn Club’s match, fans will troll Austin & Colten as “Ass Boys” again and that could come close to costing them.


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