Who is the Face of Raw?
While Raw won the Survivor Series, the WWE World Champion lost. Does this foreshadow Big E’s fall to Monday Night Rollins? Also, who stole the Egg of Cleopatra?!
- Matt Riddle w/ Randy Orton VS Dolph Ziggler w/ Robert Roode; Riddle wins.
- Bianca Belair VS Tamina w/ Natalya; Belair wins.
- Finn Balor VS Seth Rollins; No Contest.
- The Street Profits VS AJ Styles & Omos; Styles & Omos win, by disqualification.
- WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Rhea Ripley & Nikki A.S.H. VS Carmella & Zelina Vega; Carmella & Vega win and become the new WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions.
- WWE 24/7 Championship: Reggie VS Cedric Alexander; Alexander wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
- WWE 24/7 Championship Holiday Blockbuster: Dana Brooke wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
- 2v1 Handicap: Rey & Dominik Mysterio VS Bobby Lashley w/ MVP; Lashley wins.
- WWE United States Championship Open Challenge: Damian Priest VS Sami Zayn; Priest wins and retains the title.
- WWE World Championship: Big E VS Austin Theory; Big E wins and retains.
PLAY BY PLAY
Vince McMahon sits in his office.
He drums his fingers as he sees the display case is still empty. The Egg of Cleopatra, which is a real thing apparently, was gifted to him by The Rock himself, but it disappeared during Survivor Series! Whodunnit?! The entire WWE roster, from Raw AND SmackDown, is suspect. But they found nothing? He reminds them the value of this $100 million egg, and the sentimental value. Someone STOLE from Vince McMahon! Sonya Deville promises they interviewed everyone, had police search, and no one knows or found anything. Well someone better know something. Because if they don’t, Sonya and Pearce are done! Pearce is sure a superstar did it!
Sonya says they have surveillance footage but it’s very blurry. A bare chest, bare legs, maybe a woman…? Well if someone gives them a lead, Vince will reward that person. Or if they bring that person in themselves, they can get a WWE World Championship match! Vince waits, but will there suddenly be a scramble for the golden egg?
Backstage interview with Randy Orton.
Kevin Patrick says he was hoping to also interview Orton’s tag team partner, who has a match tonight, but Matt Riddle isn’t here right now. Orton knows that, but he knows Riddle. He could get lost in his own house! But it’s not like him to miss a match. Last time Orton saw him, they had beaten the Usos, they were celebrating, and Orton was telling Riddle how that now, finally, with Riddle listening to Orton, no one could stop them. But now we don’t know where Riddle is and… But then Riddle walks in, with a beard and mustache that resembles Orton’s! The hell did he do? Riddle says he was busy doing “Viper stuff.” Sigh…
Riddle wants Orton to know it’s him. Did you know what he had to go through to have the goatee? But he’s doing what Orton said: He’ll be Orton. Riddle does his best to talk like Orton, saying he’ll give Ziggler a painful introduction to the Legend Killer, the Viper, Apex Predator, and the man who has competed in more WWE PPV matches than any superstar in history! Wow, Orton has a lot of sweet nicknames. But Dolph’s gonna be zigzagged into his own personal, bleach blonde nightmare when Riddle hits the three most dangerous letters in all of sports entertainment: The R. K. BRO-
ENOUGH!! Orton said for Riddle to be like him. Not BECOME him! Riddle doesn’t want to be in Orton’s head. Too late, he’s already there! He’s hearing voices! Hit Randy’s music!
Matt Riddle w/ Randy Orton VS Dolph Ziggler w/ Robert Roode!
The Vipe-BRO is ready to take on the Show-Off, but will this match help him come to his senses? Or will Riddle actually do Orton better than Orton does Orton?
Raw returns as the Dirty Dawgs make their entrance. The bell ring, Riddle and Ziggler tie up, Ziggler gets a leg then brings Riddle down. Riddle spins and gets a victory roll, ONE! The two back off and circle. Riddle shoots in, gets a leg and lifts Ziggler up but Ziggler slips around to get a cradle, TWO! The two stand off again and they tie up. Riddle hits a FLYING ARMBAR! Ziggler moves around to a cover, TWO! Another reset and the two go again. Ziggler shoots in to waistlock, they go around but Riddle wrenches on an arm. They end up on ropes, Ziggler elbows Riddle away. Riddle gets up but into Ziggler’s dropkick! Cover, TWO!
Ziggler goes after Riddle’s face with fish hooks but lets off as the ref counts. Riddle sees his mustache is gone! Ziggler then pulls Riddle against the ropes! The ref counts, Ziggler lets off, and he takes the goatee! Ziggler whips corner to corner, Riddle goes up and over and comes back with a KICK! Riddle gut wrenches and spins around, to then gut wrench SUPLEX Ziggler out of the ring! Orton applauds and fans fire up as Riddle goes to the ropes. Slingshot, into a SUPERKICK! The Bro is down and Orton checks on him. Roode checks on Ziggler, the Dawgs mock Orton’s pose as Raw goes to break.
Raw returns and Riddle fires off hands on Ziggler, then turns him around to PELE! Riddle kips up and fans fire up! Ziggler is in the corner, Riddle runs in to forearm smash! Then goes side to side to hit another forearm smash! Riddle tries again but Ziggler elbows him away! Ziggler runs in, but into a POWERSLAM! Riddle hits it just like Orton and fans fire up! Riddle gets Ziggler at the apron and drags him into the ropes! But Ziggler gets in to dump Riddle out! Riddle hurries back in, into a FAMOUSER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up and Ziggler drags Riddle up for haymakers. Riddle gives them back and now we have a brawl!
Riddle and Ziggler keep going, back and forth! Ziggler kicks a leg, then scrapes laces on Riddle’s face! Ziggler fires up but the fans boo. Riddle blocks the superkick to spin Ziggler and FINAL FLASH! Fans fire up as Riddle hears voices in his head! Orton is amused, Ziggler gets up, RKO!! Cover, Riddle wins!
Winner: Matt Riddle, by pinfall
The Viper is proud, but here comes Roode! Orton kicks Roode down, gives Riddle back the ‘stache, and then he scoops Roode to use the BRO DEREK! RKBRO are on the same page, will they be completely unstoppable from here on out?
Rhea Ripley leads the charge on tearing things up backstage!
She, the Viking Raiders, Rick Boogs, and anyone you can name, is looking for the Egg of Cleopatra! R-Truth says he found it, but that’s a football! Truth accidentally runs into the women’s restroom and rushes back out! “It ain’t in there!”
Becky Lynch is here!
Big Time Becks won big for Raw against SmackDown Women’s Champion, Charlotte Flair, and she did it just how Charlotte would. But now the Raw Women’s Champion is looking to take a victory lap, after the break.
Raw returns and fans are chanting for Becky as she gets the mic. “Brooklyn. Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Brooklyn.” Becky has had some of the biggest moments in her life here. Three years ago, her career skyrocketed as she stood here, she slapped Charlotte Flair across the face. What we saw last night at Survivor Series was a culmination of a decade of love, hatred, friendship and betrayal. Becky came out, wanting to hurt Charlotte. To injure her, to embarrass her, to maim her. Charlotte wanted to do the same, but the fans loved every second of it! They didn’t care who walked out they winner or if they walked out at all.
But of course Becky won! That was never a question. At least, not to Becky. But that’s done, we’re over with that and we’re on to a new chapter. Something fresh and new. Because fans love fresh and new, right? Yeah! So who that’s fresh and new would they like to see on top? Rhea Ripley? Maybe Bianca Belair back on top? Or how about her new #1 contender, Liv Morgan? Yeah, yeah! It’s so funny, because Becky used to put stock in our opinion until she realized we’re all full of crap. Don’t boo! They want fresh and new but we saw 10 women breaking their backs, trying to prove themselves to us, but we had our chants and the wave and sang songs! Yeah, you did!
But hey, look. It hurts Becky to say this, but she actually agrees with them. None of those 10 “superstars” has what it takes to beat Becky, least of all Liv. Oh they like her now cuz she’s an underdog? Cuz she won one big match in four years? You all bitch and moan when Liv loses because she will lose. Not every underdog has its day, Brooklyn. Becky has a death grip on the title! And whether you like it or not, no one is getting the belt off Big Time Becks! Becky throws down the mic and raises the belt. Will this be the image we see until the end of Becky’s career?
Bianca Belair VS Tamina w/ Natalya!
The EST proved she was the toughEST by being the SOLE SURVIVOR for Team Raw! Will she settle things with the Daughter of Superfly to start her road back to the title?
Before the match, Bianca gets the mic to speak. “Yes. Last night, I came all the way back from being 4 to 1! And I was able to do that because the WWE Universe was supporting me, was cheering me on. I was able to show both brands I am the strongest, the fastest, the roughest, the toughest, the quickest, the greatest, and now there is no denying I am the B E S T because I am the Sole Survivor!” So hopefully now Doudrop will stop being so salty. She should find something better to do with her time, like find that golden egg. But please excuse Bianca as she shows Tamina what she showed Team SmackDown, and that is nobody can whoop Bianca!
Tamina makes her entrance, and Natalya accompanies her out since everyone from Raw and SmackDown are here. Will Tamina prove she’s the meanEST in the WWE? We find out, after the break.
Raw returns and the bell rings. Tamina and Bianca tie right up, go around, and Bianca puts Tamina in the corner. Tamina turns it around, kicks low then whips Bianca corner to corner. Bianca goes up and over and handsprings to say, “Kiss this.” Tamina runs in but Bianca jumps over then dropkicks! And then again! Bianca wrenches, kicks low, and reels Tamina in for a suplex! And a kip up! Fans fire up as Bianca whips her hair, then runs to handspring and MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Natty coaches Tamina but Bianca keeps her cool. Fans rally “E S T!” but Tamina shoves her to a corner. Bianca boots her away, goes up and over again, then runs back in to hop up and punch.
Tamina avoids the punches to trip Bianca up! Then SUPERKICK! Bianca staggers into a SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! Natty is upset but Tamina goes after Bianca in a corner with stomps. The ref counts, Tamina lets off, then goes corner to corner to HIP ATTACK! Cover, TWO! Tamina drags Bianca up and clamps on with a neck wrench! Bianca endures, pries at the hands but Tamina holds on tight. Fans rally up, Bianca fights but Tamina CLUBS her! Tamina keeps on the neck wrench, Bianca fights up and fights back! Bianca runs but into a back elbow! Natty cheers but fans boo. Tamina drags Bianca up, whips her to a corner, then runs in, only to get POST!
Bianca BOOTS Tamina into the post, then gets in to torture rack! KISS OF DEATH!! Cover, Bianca wins!
Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall
The EST wins again! But then Natty attacks from behind! Natty goes for the legs but Bianca boots her out of the ring! Bianca is upset with the Queen of Harts, but here comes DOUDROP! Piper Niven trips Bianca to then hit the SPLASH!! The EST means nothing to her! Will Piper prove she’s the strongest by making Bianca the flattest?
Finn Balor VS Seth Rollins!
The Prince didn’t last as long as the SOLE SURVIVOR on the Raw men’s team, but will that mean a thing when they go 1v1? Or will the Visionary, the revolutionary, Seth FREAKIN’ Rollins build even more momentum on his way to the WWE World Championship match he is promised?
Raw returns and Rollins has a mic. “Oooh, Brooklyn, give it up for your SOLE! SURIVORRR~! HAHAHAHA! Oh yeah! Last night, right here in this ring, I did what I was born to do! I took this show, I put it over my shoulder, and I led Team Raw to victory~!” He takes a few bows and fans sing his theme for him. Rollins loves it! And the best part? Rollins did it all by himself! The rest of his team were eliminated! Kevin Owens showed the world that he is what Rollins said he was: a liar, a snake and a coward, and he walked out on them. Bobby Lashley, the All Mighty, got counted out? “And Austin Theory, bless his sweet soul, he tried so hard, but he just wasn’t good enough.”
And then Finn Balor… Rollins laughs it up more as Balor got a BROGUE from Sheamus and got pinned on the mat, 1-2-3, no help. But in a few moments, Finn Balor will walk down the ramp, get in the ring, and Rollins will lead by example when he shows Finn Balor a thing or two about what it means to be the best! Because Rollins is a revolutionary. He is a visionary. He is SETH- Interrupted! Finn makes his entrance but Rollins attacks him on the apron! Rollins fires off hands on the outside, clubbing away on Finn! Then he puts Finn in the ring, throws off the jacket, and gets in, for Finn to tackle him!
Rollins kicks Finn away but Finn DECKS Rollins! Rollins bails out, Finn builds speed and FLIES! Direct hit and now Finn takes off his jacket to put Rollins back in the ring. Rollins bails out, Finn goes around the side and runs in, but into a FLAPJACK to the barrier! Rollins then SMACKS Finn off the desk, rams him into the apron, then throws him into barriers! And then Rollins throws Finn over the announce desk, to KNEE him into the barriers! Rollins stomps away on Finn! The ref has him back off, but Rollins goes to the steps! Rollins pulls the steps apart, and uses the top half to RAM Finn down! Fans lose their minds over that one while Rollins looms over Finn.
Rollins puts Finn in the ring, and hits a CURB STOMP!! The match hasn’t even started, and now it might not at all! Rollins storms off to go up the ramp, but then he looks back. Rollins goes back to the ring, and gives Finn another CURB STOMP! Finn’s eyes are glossed over, but then a fan jumps in. Cameras cut to keep on Finn. Rollins is still standing tall, will he use this same viciousness to take the world title from Big E?
The egg hunt is still on!
Speaking of a title shot, everyone is going nuts for the prize that will bring them one! Shanky brings up the rear as everyone, man and woman, wants their golden ticket!
Sami Zayn, meanwhile, talks with Vince personally. Sami heard rumblings that anyone with a lead on the egg gets a title match tonight. Yes, that is true. Well then, Sami knows who took the egg. He should preface that he’s pretty sure. Like 95% sure. So Sami knows something or not? Yes, he does! Then bring that person in! Yes, he’d love to but the thing is, that person isn’t here yet? But Sami promises to bring that person and then he’ll have the match. Shake on it? Just bring the person here. Sami heads out, but is he telling the truth? Or is he just stringing Vince along to get that match?
Kevin Owens is searching around backstage.
Sarah comes over to ask him about how he abandoned Team Raw. What is his response to Rollins? Oh, he wasn’t listening. But he was looking for the egg. Apparently it’s a big deal, he could get a title match out of it. But if Kevin isn’t the one fortunate enough to bring the egg to Mr. McMahon, he can’t wait to see who does. And Kevin has great interest in who walks out tonight as WWE Champion. That’s no lie. Kevin heads out, will he find the grand prize tonight?
The Street Profits VS AJ Styles & Omos!
Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are here, as well as the red Solo cups, but they also bring out a duffle bag! What’s in the bag? It can’t be the egg, they’d give that to Vince. Maybe we’ll find out, after this phenomenal match!
Raw returns and Styles makes his entrance, with Omos right behind him. Omos came out the winner of the 25 Man Battle Royal with a whopping TEN eliminations, but this tag match is about how the Profits got the drop on Styles when it came to the Pizza Hut pizza. The teams sort out and Ford starts against Styles. They circle, Styles kicks low and bumps Ford off buckles. Styles whips Ford to ropes, Ford reverses and then runs to run Styles over! Ford fires up, drags Styles up and Dawkins tags in. They whip, Dawkins runs Styles over, then back suplex SPLASH! Dawkins gets Styles up and tags Ford back in. Another whip, but Styles holds ropes to tag in Omos!
Omos stares the Profits down and they bail out. The Profits talk this over, perhaps coming up with a plan, while Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Dawkins fights out of a headlock. Dawkins runs but into a dropkick! Styles covers, TWO! Styles drags Dawkins up, cranks on the facelock and grinds Dawkins down. Dawkins endures, fans rally up, but Styles CLUBS Dawkins down. Styles swings on Ford but Ford avoids that, and Dawkins kicks low! SILENCER! Both men are down and fans fire up! Dawkins crawls, hot tag to Ford! Ford jumps over Styles, hits Omos then mule kicks and front kicks Styles. Ford hurdles then LEAPING LARIATS Styles down! Ford taunts Omos then drags Styles up, but gets a Phenomenal Blitz! Ford ducks the back hand to back suplex! STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!
Ford hurries to a corner and climbs up. Styles gets under the jump, Ford comes back but swings in to a back suplex, only to land on his feet! Styles PELES Ford down! Styles reels Ford in, but Ford back drops out of the Clash! Styles crawls to the corner, Omos tags himself in! Ford sees he’s alone with Dawkins still down on the outside. Ford gets loose and runs in, but bounces off Omos! Omos gets him up but Ford fires off CHOPS! ENZIGURI! Omos staggers, but he comes back to LARIAT Ford! Omos roars, “This is MY house!” Ford slowly rises but Omos is waiting. Omos clamps on, but Dawkins gets in so Omos lets Ford go to throw Dawkins out!
Omos looks and finds Ford crawling to ropes. Dawkins gets the duffle bag, and he has a fire extinguisher! Omos pops Ford up in a fireman’s carry, but Dawkins BLASTS Omos in the face!
Winners: AJ Styles & Omos, by disqualification
Styles jumps in, but into a BLAST from the extinguisher! Well, that’s one way to get the smoke! Will Ford & Dawkins look to put out the fire that’s inside Styles & Omos soon enough?
Carmella & Zelina Vega talk backstage.
The Queen admires Mella’s new gear, but Sarah walks over to ask them their game plan for the women’s tag title match. Let’s be honest. The real question is, what is the plan against Rhea Ripley. They are NOT worried about Nikki. Nikki can be fun and has her moments, but they are not scared of the “scrappy little sidekick.” We all know Rhea’s been carrying the team, that Vega & Mella will overpower them with “royal beauty,” and leave Nikki all alone while leaving here with the titles. That is how you prove you are the diamonds of the WWE. Smarts, strategy, and strength. They will be on top, where they will stay once they become the NEW WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions! They head out, but will they learn to not underestimate an Almost SuperHero?
Veer Mahaan is coming.
Who will he strike out with his million dollar arm and ruthless aggression?
WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Rhea Ripley & Nikki A.S.H. VS Carmella & Zelina Vega!
Raw returns as the Most Beautiful Woman and the Queen of the Ring make their entrance. The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if it takes more than good looks to be a team!
Mella starts against Rhea but she has to get her protective mask. Mella’s team puts on the mask, the one she struggled to put on at Survivor Series, and this one is bright red! Rhea goes out to BOOT Mella down! Rhea puts Mella in, glares at Vega, then gets in the ring. Mella runs in but Rhea catches her to LARIAT! And again! And then ripcord HEADBUTT! The mask doesn’t protect from that one! Rhea snapmares and runs to basement dropkick! Mella scurries away to tag in Vega! Rhea doesn’t sweat that as Vega can’t even get the leg takedown. Rhea gut wrenches Vega and TOSSES her to the corner! Rhea then keeps Vega cornered with a shove!
Vega crawls under but Rhea gets a leg! Vega kicks Rhea until she’s free, but then she SLAPS her! Rhea HEADBUTTS Vega, Electric Chair lifts, but Vega fights! Vega tries to rana but Rhea holds her back to pop her up! But Vega turns it to a DDT! Cover, TWO! Vega clubs Rhea, clamps on with a sleeper, but Vega becomes a backpack as Rhea stands up. Fans rally, Rhea RAMS Vega into the corner! Tag to Nikki and she DECKS Vega! Snapmare to NECK SNAPPER to Vega, then a whip to the corner. Vega reverses, Nikki goes up and over and runs, dodges and LARIATS! Nikki whips then SPLASHES Vega! Nikki climbs up to rain down fists on Vega, all the way to 10!
Nikki BULLDOGS Vega down, then gets her up to SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Cover, Mella breaks it! FACEBUSTER! Rhea gets in and chases Mella out! They go around the ring, Vega crawls to cover Nikki, but Rhea breaks it in time! Mella attacks Rhea from behind, and FABULOUS KICKS her out of the ring! Mella goes out to FABULOUS KICK Rhea into a post! But Nikki drags Mella up to the apron! Vega mugs Nikki, chokes her on the ropes, then lets off for Mella to FABULOUS KICK! Vega hops on, CODE RED! Cover, Vega & Mella win!!
Winners: Carmella & Zelina Vega, by pinfall (NEW WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions)
The Queen of the Ring has even more gold now! Will this only add to the growing egos of both Zelina and Carmella?
Vince McMahon is still waiting.
But Sonya comes in, saying they found the culprit! Pearce will bring him in! We’re going to see who the egg thief was, after the break!
Raw returns and Sami Zayn has also returned. he has partial credit for this, as Austin Theory walks in! Vince wants a minute alone with Theory so Sonya and Pearce exit. Why did Theory do this? He knows how valuable the egg is. He just wanted to take a selfie with it. But there was so much security, he couldn’t go to the locker room, he got scared. Vince won’t believe that unless he sees the selfie. Theory has one. Sami says that is disgusting behavior. But then Vince thinks. Theory took a huge risk, went a little afoul of the law. But Vince will drop the charges. What? Really?! Yeah, Theory is reminded of Vince. Theory gets his shot! Really!? Can he get a selfie! Sure.
Sami is furious! How is Theory being rewarded?! The person who brought Vince the culprit was supposed to- SHUT UP! No one likes a snitch, Sami. Sami gets a headache. But will Theory be taking a selfie with the world title after tonight?!
WWE 24/7 Championship: Reggie VS Cedric Alexander!
The slippery sommelier is going 1v1 with PRIMED Alexander in this traditional match, but will Reggie slip away from The Hurt Business?
The bell rings, Alexander swings but Reggie goes Matrix! Reggie smooths out his vest, Alexander fakes Reggie out then ROCKS him on the return! Alexander clubs away on Reggie in the corner, stomps away on him, then lets off as the ref counts. Alexander fires up then stomps Reggie more! Alexander eggs Reggie on, but Reggie throws body shots. Alexander DECKS Reggie with another forearm! Alexander gets Reggie up, suplexes, but Reggie RANAS out of it! Cover, TWO!! Alexander escapes, Reggie hurries to get him up for haymakers and CHOPS! Alexander shoves, then BOOTS the crossbody down! Alexander gets Reggie up, LUMBAR CHECK!! Cover, Alexander wins!
Winner: Cedric Alexander, by pinfall (NEW WWE 24/7 Champion)
But here comes the mob! Alexander runs but DANA BROOKE hits a BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, Dana wins!!
Winner: Dana Brooke, by pinfall (NEW WWE 24/7 Champion)
And all the guys have to hold back. They can’t hit a woman, right? Dana gets to celebrate this big moment! But will she have to worry about the women’s locker room coming for her every waking moment?
The Mysterios talk backstage.
Dominik wants to talk to Rey about something. Last week, when Lashley put Rey in the Hurt Lock, Dom froze up. He apologizes, but Rey tells Dom not to beat himself up. Rey’s been doing this a long time and Lashley isn’t the first monster he faced. Brock Lesnar, Kane, Batista, The Undertaker. But Rey has always held his chin high, ready to fight. Rey can fight his own battles. But tonight, they fight together, and Rey is damn proud of it. Rey fights for him, Dom and the family! The All Mighty should be the one shaking. They’re gonna give him a Mysterio family whooping!
Backstage interview with Dana Brooke.
Sarah congratulates her on being a champion, but how does she plan on keeping this title? Well Dana doesn’t have a lot of time, but she created an opportunity and captured it. That’s how she lives her life every single day, overcoming any obstacle in her way. But she has a target on her back, so it’s time to show the world who Dana Brooke is!
2v1 Handicap: Rey & Dominik Mysterio VS Bobby Lashley w/ MVP!
The Rocky Mountain Machine heads out first, Montel Vontavius Porter once again in his corner. Lashley was only counted out during the Survivor Series 5v5, will he look to finish this one in the ring?
Raw returns and the Mysterios make their entrance. MVP has the mic to speak. “Rey, I want to tell you that I have so much respect for you because you are an absolute icon of this industry. And despite your diminutive size, you have become a giant! But… As a father… You leave so much to be desired, I’m really disappointed in you.” Has Rey even taught Dom that monsters are real? Rey knows they’re real because he’s faced them. But he hasn’t defeated a monster the likes of the All Mighty Lashley. What is Rey gonna do as a father in just a few minutes when Dom is in the Hurt Lock, writhing in agony, crying out, “Papi! Ayuda me!” and Rey is powerless to do anything about it?
Rey’s ego is gonna get Dom hurt. And when they look Angie in the face and say Dom got hurt because of that ego, well… Just give her MVP’s number. Rey is riled up but Dom goes after Lashley first! Lashley shoves him away then runs him over! Lashley glares at Rey but Dom jumps on! Lashley throws Dom off to then hit a COMPLETE SHOT! Lashley goes after Dom at the ropes, brings him up and suplexes, but Dom sips out to ta gin Rey! Dom then baits Lashley into the POST! Rey runs in to shotgun Lashley down! Rey tags Dom back in, the Mysterios go after Lashley with everything, Rey tags in to keep it up!
Tag back to Dom, fans fire up as Dom fires off! Tag back to Rey, he fires off and rams his shoulder in. But Lashley powers Rey up and runs, but Rey sunset flips! Lashley drags Rey up, whips him to a corner but Rey goes up, only to get caught for a POWERSLAM! Lashley stalks Rey, gets a half nelson but Dom missile dropkicks Lashley out of the ring! Then PLANCHAS! But Lashley catches Dom, pops him up to a fireman’s carry, but Rey DIVES! Direct hit and down goes Lashley! The Mysterios regroup and stand tall as Raw goes to break!
Raw returns again and Lashley chokes Dom on the ropes! The ref counts, Lashley lets off, but MVP SLAPS Dom! Lashley kicks and gut wrenches Dom to the DOMINATOR! Cover, TWO!! Dom survives but Lashley throws him out of the ring. Rey coaches Dom, Lashley goes out and looms over him. Lashley drags Dom up, fireman’s carries and he POSTS Dom this time! Rey hurries over to check on Dom as the ring count climbs. The count is passing 5 of 10, Rey can only coach Dom, but Lashley goes out after Dom again! He RAMS Dom into barriers! The count is climbing again, Lashley drags Dom up at 5 and then puts him in the ring at 8.
Lashley stalks Dom to a corner, Dom slowly gets up and Lashley taunts him. “Hit me, kid. Hit me!” Dom throws body shots but they do nothing and Lashley CLUBS Dom down. Lashley drags Dom up to shove, but Dom kicks, only for Lashley to block! Dom ENZIGURIS! Lashley staggers, but he kicks Dom back! Another gut wrench, but Dom lands out of the slam to basement dropkick! Fans fire up as Dom tags in Rey! Rey dodges, KICKS and forearms, then runs to slide under. Rey BOOTS Lashley, springboards to QUEBRADA, but Lashley catches him! Dom tags in and gives Rey a push for the TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!
Dom drags Lashley up, throws hands, runs and kicks then tags Rey. Dom sunset flips and Rey missile dropkicks him down! Cover, TWO! Rey hurries to tag Dom back. Lashley gets up, the Mysterios bait him in to drop toehold onto the ropes! They dial it up, DOUBLE 619!! MVP panics while Dom goes up! Rey tags in before Dom FROG SPLASHES! Rey is up top now, FROG SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!! Lashley survives and MVP says that’s why he’s the All Mighty! Rey tags Dom, Rey whips Dom in, but Lashley puts Dom on the apron. Rey runs in to a SPEAR!! But Dom leaps, into Lashley’s arms! HURT LOCK!! Dom is a rag doll, but he taps! Lashley wins!
Winner: Bobby Lashley, by submission
The Mysterios had heart as always, but the Rocky Mountain Machine shows no mercy! Is this enough for Lashley t
Backstage interview with Big E.
The WWE Champion had one hell of a match with Roman Reigns, but was he blindsided by the news that he’d be defending his title tonight? Well last night, Big E let a lot of people down. You can’t blame Heyman or the Usos, that was on Big E. But there is no wallowing in self-pity, Big E has his hands full. Quite literally, he was hungry. There’s Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens to worry about, but now he has a match with Austin Theory. The kid is young and brash, but he is talented. Big E can assure us that after retaining his title tonight and leaving the beautiful Barclays Center, he will feel pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good. Big E heads out, will he keep the title picture just the way it is?
Backstage interview with Liv Morgan.
She thanks Kevin Patrick for having her here, and he congratulates her on being #1 contender to the Raw Women’s Championship. It is bittersweet. Raw won last night, but she was- Becky interrupts. They need to get the story right. The story is that Liv again underdelivered. A team full of winners, and thankfully Bianca pulled it out for Raw. But Liv did nothing. It takes Becky back to Money in the Bank. Everyone was rooting for Liv, she got up to the top of that ladder, inches away from grabbing the briefcase, but then someone else came along, outshined her, Nikki A.S.H. got the briefcase and cashed in to get the title, the very one Liv will never hold. Liv’s pretty sure she held it up last week.
Becky wants Liv to know something. Becky does autograph signing every week and she lets the little kiddies hold the belt. That doesn’t mean they’re champions. But the thing is, Liv, Becky told her she’d be champion and Liv told everyone, so Liv’s embarrassed Becky, embarrassed the friends who aren’t even here anymore, and her family. Aw, is Liv gonna cry? That’s embarrassing. Crybaby Liv~! Liv DECKS Becky with a forearm! Liv is seething but she walks away. Becky gets up in a huff, but maybe this is the Liv Becky’s been wanting to see?
WWE United States Championship Open Challenge: Damian Priest VS ???
The rage within cost the Archer of Infamy his match against Shinsuke Nakamura, but he doesn’t seem too bothered by that. Will he keep the Damian within in check to hold onto the title? Or will this hometown anti-hero be caught off guard by someone here tonight?
Raw returns and Apollo Crews has made his entrance. Azeez introduces himself, and he demands the fans to stand and applaud this Nigerian hero and soon to be the savior of the WWE United States Championship! “His Excellency,” Apollo Crews is given the mic, and he tells “Mr. Priest, or should I say Damian.” Because lately, he’s had this split personality. Priest is ashamed of who he truly is. But as for Apollo, he has embraced his heritage, found his true self, and that is why when he fights Priest for the title, he will decimate Priest! Crews is more powerful than ever as a Nigerian warrior, and he will show Priest is not fit to be champion!
Priest tells Apollo that maybe he hasn’t realized, but he’s in New York. Fans fire up for that one. Priest asks if Apollo hears that. Out here, if you wanna run your mouth and tell your world about how you found yourself, start a podcast. Or just a thought, just shut up and fight. Now, if Apollo wants to get to know the real Damian Priest, then let’s just throw down for the title. Oh, funny guy. Yes, they’re in Priest’s hometown. But for them to fight, that would not be fair. So Apollo is answering no to the challenge. So here comes Sami Zayn! First, the world sees that Sami is right about the WWE conspiracy against him goes all the way tot he top when Vince denied Sami his title opportunity!
But when one door closes, another one opens! Apollo and Azeez aren’t accepting the challenge, that’s not the smartest thing, but that’s just an opinion. But if they don’t want it, then Sami happily accepts! Sami will not leave empty handed! Tonight, he walks out the NEW United States Champion! Azeez and Apollo take their leave, the title is raised, and the Great Liberator looks to liberate that title from Priest!
The bell rings but Sami bails out, only for Priest to give chase. Priest keeps Sami from getting in and he ROCKS him with a right! And then another! And then another! Priest puts Sami in, but Sami bails right back out. Priest gives chase again, keeps Sami from running away but Sami elbow shim! And EXPLODER into the barriers! Sami has Priest down and out while Raw goes to break!
Raw returns and Sami covers, ONE! Sami wraps on a chinlock to grind Priest down. Priest endures, fights up and throws body shots. Priest is free, he fires off KICK after KICK then a ROLLING ELBOW! Sami goes to a corner, Priest runs corner to corner and back elbow! Priest runs, dodges, BELL CLAPS then ripcords, but Sami gets around to BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Cover, TWO! Sami drags Priest to a drop zone and hurries up the corner. But Priest gets up to KICK Sami down! Priest drags Sami up but Sami resists the superplex and rakes Priest’s eyes! Sami sunset flips to the SIT-OUT BOMB! Cover, TWO! Priest survives and Sami is frustrated.
Sami drags Priest up but fans chant, “SAMI SUCKS!” Sami throws hands on Priest, but Priest ROCKS Sami, then ROCKS him again! Then ROCK Shim with another! He blocks Sami’s boot to scoop and dragon sleeper, but Sami slips out to roll up and high stack! TWO, and Priest is up to WHEEL KICK! Sami staggers, leans on the ropes, but Priest runs in to fire off hands. Priest whips, Sami holds ropes and bails out! Priest drags Sami back up to the apron but Sami hotshots him! Sami then chokes Priest on the ropes! The ref counts, Sami stops at 4, then Sami grabs the title belt. Sami puts it on his shoulder but he hasn’t won it yet. Sami pie faces Priest, but that only sets Priest off!
Priest BOOTS Sami, runs at the corner and fires off haymaker after haymaker! Choke grip to the SOUTH OF HEAVEN CHOKE SLAM! Priest roars, drags Sami up to hit the RECKONING! Cover, Priest wins!
Winner: Damian Priest, by pinfall (still WWE United States Champion)
Sami doesn’t get anything for the night other than beat up! Will the Archer of Infamy continue to shoot down opponents and hold onto the title?
Backstage interview with Austin Theory
For the first time ever, he’s in a WWE Championship match! That’s so awesome! He even got a selfie with Mr. McMahon! Who else can say that? But what’s cooler than that is that Theory will become the youngest WWE World Champion in history. He just go here, he isn’t trying to sound cocky, Big E’s done a lot. But did you see what Theory did for Raw? And then Big E was a big loser. Theory is the future, we know that, and the future is now! Vince knows it! Big E is gonna learn that soon, when Theory takes a selfie as the NEW WWE Champion!
WWE World Championship: Big E VS Austin Theory!
The champion is out first, and he tells the title itself that nothing’s taking it from him. Will Big E prove Theory is only the next champion in theory?
Raw returns and Theory makes his entrance. But then Seth Rollins also appears! The Visionary switched out jackets but he still swaggers around. The introductions for Big E and Theory are made, the title is raised, and Rollins sits by commentary to watch and see who he’ll be targeting with that title contract!
Big E gets Theory for a wiastlock but Theory switches and headlocks,. Big E powers out, Theory rolls Big E up, ONE! Theory gloats, then he SLAPS Big E! Big E ROCKS Theory then fires off at the ropes! Big E fires off in the corner, too! Big E reels Theory in for a back elbow, and then another, and then another! Theory flounders, Big E whips and CLOBBERS him! Big E drags Theory to the apron, CLUBS him again and again and again, then goes up to take aim. Big E runs in to SPLASH Theory down! Theory sputters as he gets in, but now Kevin Owens makes an entrance! This catches Rollins by surprise, too! Kevin did promise he’d be watching, but he wants to watch ringside?
Big E is distracted, Theory runs in, Urenag- NO! Theory slips out, elbows Big E, hooks the legs, AOI SHOUDOU! Cover, TOW!! Theory sees Big E go out and WRECKS him with a dropkick! Rollins shouts at Kevin about being out here but Kevin says this is a great match to watch up close! Will the Prizefighter keep things honest as he watches ringside? For now, Raw goes to break.
Raw returns, Theory fires off forearms, then runs to basement DDT! Cover, ONE! Rollins is anxious with Kevin so close but Kevin just watches the match. Theory slaps Big E around, throws more forearms, but Big E just powers up! Theory runs into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And another! Theory runs, Big E side steps to SIDE Belly2Belly! Big E swivels the hips, runs and BIG SPLASHES! Big E claps it up, fans clap with him, “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” Theory slips out of the scoop, baits Big E in and drop toeholds him into buckle! Somersault SHOTGUN! Cover, TWO! Theory grows a bit frustrated, he brings Big E up and fireman’s carries, but Big E fights free!
Big E whips Theory up and out, then runs but into a knee! Theory gets in, runs in but into the Urenag-E! Cover, TWO! Rollins is getting mad but Kevin just watches as Big E goes out after Theory to put him back in the ring. Big E glares at Rollins and backs him up before he goes to the apron. The ref is busy with Theory, Rollins CHOP BLOCKS Big E! Theory somersault BLOCKBUSTERS! Both men are down, but Kevin throws Rollins into the ring! Rollins is mad at Kevin, they argue, Theory is distracted seeing these two about to throw down. Theory turns around into a BIG ENDING!! Cover, Big E wins!
Winner: Big E, by pinfall (still WWE World Champion)
But Rollins and Kevin are getting heated. They shove each other, but Big E CLOBBERS them both! Big E TOSSES Rollins over the desk, puts Kevin in the ring, but Kevin runs away! Rollins returns but Big E gets him for a BIG ENDING, too! Rollins gasps and sputters as he flops out of the ring. Big E doesn’t care who is coming for him, he’s ready for everyone! Will Big E make sure neither of them gets what he has?
A good Raw to follow up Survivor Series, but they really puffed up the whole egg thing. There were possibilities they could’ve explored with this but it just ended up a vehicle for the world title story, and not even in a way that really added much. Though it does seem Vince really likes Theory. That was quite the protected loss for Theory with Kevin and Rollins inadvertently distracting him. It just doesn’t really do a whole lot for the build we’ve been getting. If it was going to fuel the world title story, then Kevin should’ve been the one to give Vince the egg back and get the shot here tonight. Kevin and Big E could’ve given us an awesome main event with Rollins doing his great character work ringside, and somehow, someway, Big E wins so that it is still him and Rollins for #WWEDay1.
Rollins himself has a lot of momentum, with Sole Survivor status at Survivor Series and then the beat down on Balor to “cancel” their match. I hope Finn gets to circle back around for a feud with Rollins, regardless if Rollins the title off Big E. Also holy crap that fan jumping the barriers and going after Rollins. What makes morons think they can go after wrestlers and not get beat up and arrested? Moving on, Priest had a good US title match with Sami, though the fans got a bit bored at a point. I figured Priest was retaining with Sami being a SmackDown superstar, but also, they’re setting up Priest VS Apollo for #WWEDay1.
RKBRO had a great string of moments tonight. Riddle impersonating Orton, him winning against Ziggler with an RKO and Orton hitting Roode with a Bro Derek, these two are becoming a great tag team. Styles & Omos are building a good feud with the Street Profits, but this is going to make for an interesting blow-off. The fire extinguisher was to what? It got them disqualified, but was it just for a pun on smoke and fire? Rey & Dom still get destroyed by Lashley, though they had a really good match. I’m kinda hoping Rey & Dom stick together so that they can face teams like Styles & Omos or even RKBRO. I’d love to see Rey taking on Styles or Riddle in and out of tag matches.
I was actually pretty pumped to see Alexander get the 24/7 title off Reggie so dominantly, and then what a surprise for Dana Brooke to take it off Alexander. The Women’s Division finally gets a turn with the title, I just wish WWE didn’t release so many of them. I am not shocked Vega & Mella won the tag titles, but I’m disappointed it wasn’t all that long of a match. Vince continues to give minimal effort in the women’s tag division, and here it was. Maybe Bianca should find a tag partner. She’s great, WWE sees that, maybe the tag division would get that boost the same way it was strong when Sasha & Bayley were champs.
But at the same time, Bianca VS Piper is going to be a lot of fun. Becky has a very good promo, and I like that she pointed out the fans not caring enough about the Women’s 5v5 last night. I also like how she got in Liv’s face and then Liv slapped her for it. Liv is probably going to have her best singles match against Becky, and still lose.
My Score: 8.3/10
Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/17/22)
Is Becky Lynch sweatin’ Doudrop?
The Man prepares for the Royal Rumble!
“Doudrop” Piper Niven is coming for the Raw Women’s Championship, and she won’t be Manhandled so easily! How will Becky Lynch counter Piper’s power?
- Bianca Belair & Liv Morgan VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch; Piper & Becky win.
- Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins.
- Finn Balor VS Austin Theory; Theory wins.
- Nikki A.S.H. VS Rhea Ripley; No Contest.
- Reggie w/ Dana Brooke VS Omos; Omos wins.
- 8 Man Tag: The Street Profits & The Mysterios VS Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez & The Dirty Dawgs; The Street Profits & Mysterios win.
- Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Seth Rollins; Lashley wins, by disqualification.
PLAY BY PLAY
Becky Lynch heads to the ring!
Tulsa, Oklahoma, The Man has come ’round! Fans chant her name as she gets the mic, and she welcomes them to the Big Time! “Now we are less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble, and the Raw Women’s Division has never been hotter. And whether you like to admit it or not, there’s only one person responsible for that, and that’s me.” Becky says it is so hot that there are stars from generations past, like Lita, Mickie James and the Bella Twins, all hoping that they can win the Rumble and challenge the #VanGOAT at WrestleMania. Face it, they need Becky because she makes stars.
Look no further than Doudrop. Becky has kindly given her the biggest opportunity of her life, a taste of the Big Time at one of the biggest events of the year. The people didn’t get her that! Piper Niven didn’t get it for herself. Becky did that! That is what Becky does! She makes people better, than she beats ’em! But Becky will admit that she admires Piper’s tenacity. She came from the rolling hills of Scotland and made a name for herself. Well no, someone else had to make up a name for her. So Becky will shoot it straight for “Doudou.” A doudrop will never be champion so long as The Man is still here.
But speaking of, here she comes! Piper storms right up to the ring, gets herself a mic and says she’s gonna tell Becky something. “You didn’t get me anything. I got myself this title match at Royal Rumble. But if it was really your plan to face me instead of Bianca, than it’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made. Just make sure you stay well out of my way tonight.” Becky says she did get Piper that win last week, and if Piper just follows her lead, they’ll get a win here tonight. But here comes Bianca Belair! “Oh, Becky. You really out here spittin’ all this nonsense about being the GOAT, the greatEST of all time, but let me remind y’all that you can’t spell greatest without E S T.”
Bianca joins Piper and Becky in the ring as fans chant for “EST! EST!” Bianca reminds us SHE is the EST of WWE. And Doudrop, uh, okay. The only reason Piper is facing Becky is because Ms. Big Time was so scared of Bianca, she interfered in last week’s match. But girl, uh-uh. That’s just buyin’ time. Because Bianca is officially entering the Royal Rumble match! And it’s gonna be every woman for themselves, so if Bianca’s gotta throw out every 29 other women like she did last year, she’ll do it. Then she’ll go main event WrestleMania… again. And Bianca can go after whichever champion she wants, which could be Becky or Piper.
But now, Bianca’s tag partner, Liv Morgan, arrives! “Well, well, well, Bianca. We may be tag teaming tonight, but I am also officially entering myself in the Royal Rumble match. And that’s not all, that’s not all. Because in two weeks, I’m also the one winning it.” But that means Bianca will be one of the 29 she outlasts on the way to WrestleMania. But since we’re on the same page- Piper pretends to snore and then says this is boring. Everyone, shut up and ref, get in here! Piper wants to fight, but it’s Becky who riles up Liv and Bianca, and then uses Piper as a shield! Piper welcomes someone to bring it, but this starts after the break.
Chad Gable prepares a speech.
“Greetings and salutations…” Otis walks over, the valedictorian of The Alpha Academy. Will this graduation ceremony go off without a hitch?
Bianca Belair & Liv Morgan VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch!
Raw returns and the bell rings, and Bianca dropkicks Piper! Piper stays up but Bianca whips. Piper blocks, reverses, but Bianca goes up tot ell Piper to kiss this. Then Bianca leaps over Piper, spins her around and reels her in, but Piper blocks the suplex. Piper suplexes, Bianca slips out and then dodges in the corner! Piper hits buckles, Bianca ROCKS Piper with a forearm, then runs in to ram Piper. Piper rebounds to run Bianca over! Piper runs, Becky tags in! Piper is annoyed with Becky but Becky says she’s got this. They argue, Becky turns around into a dropkick! Bianca kips up, tags Liv, Liv dodges Becky to DECK Piper and SHOTGUN Becky!
Becky is in a corner, Liv back body blocks, then SHINING WIZARDS! Liv whips, Becky reverses but Liv stops to back elbow. Liv goes up to leap and missile dropkick Becky down! Liv then brings Becky around, springboard CODE BREAKER! Cover, Piper breaks it! Bianca gets in to ROCK Piper, but she can’t lift Piper for the torture rack. Piper shoves Bianca into a corner and SPLASHES! Piper runs at Liv but Liv sends her out! Becky rolls Liv up, has feet on the ropes, TWO! Liv kicks low, KICKS again, then runs in, but Becky dodges! Liv elbows Becky again, but runs into a MANHANDLE SLAM! Cover, Piper breaks it?! But that was her own teammate!
Piper drags Becky out of the way, wants to cover, but she’s not legal! So Piper hurries back to her corner, tags herself in, and then runs to SPLASH Liv! Cover, Piper and Becky win!
Winners: “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch, by pinfall
Then Piper celebrates by giving Becky a VADER SEATED SENTON! Piper laughs as she looms over Becky, but will she have the last laugh at the Rumble?
Reggie and Dana Brooke talk with someone.
Reggie knows they’ve faced giants in their career, so can they give Reggie any advice when facing Omos tonight? The person he’s talking to is Edge! Edge thinks, and he tells Reggie that he can do things Edge can’t even comprehend. So he has a chance? Hell no! Beth Phoenix scolds Edge with a smack, and Edge says he still wishes Reggie luck. And Beth talks with Dana real quick. She’s seen Dana bust her butt for years here, so it’s so great Dana has a title. Dana thanks Beth for that, and hurries away to keep up with Reggie. Edge and Beth then see Damian Priest. They shake hands and hug and Priest is happy to see the Grit Couple.
Edge says he likes what he sees with Priest’s other side. Yeah, Priest’s other side is a bit edgy, but being serious here, Priest wants some ideas on the Rumble match. Edge has experience, having won two, one of which he won from starting first. There’s no better man to ask for pointers than Edge. Well cardio is one thing, but the main thing is to keep doing you. Priest’s style is working. Someone brings over a note for Beth, and it’s from Maryse. She wants to meet Beth 1v1, woman to woman. Edge says that’s suspicious. Beth is of course going to go but Edge is going to go with her. Beth agrees, and Edge says he and Priest can talk more later. What will the It Couple have planned for the Grit Couple?
Kevin Owens then walks over to ask Priest something. Kevin is looking forward to their match tonight. Really? Yeah, no lie! He’s looking- Oh, right, because Kevin’s so honest. Yes, especially having a good, clean match. Good competition, show off some technical prowess. But also that side, that nutso, vicious side. That side shouldn’t come out. Kevin is just hoping for them having a good, clean match. Kevin also has an announcement to make, so see you then. Good talk. Kevin and his tie hurries off, but will Priest keep Damian from tearing into the Prizefighter?
Kevin heads to the ring!
The KO Show is back, and tonight’s guest is Seth Freakin’ Rollins! What will Kevin ask his new best buddy? We find out, after the break.
Raw returns and Kevin welcomes us to his show. He wishes he could say it’s good to be here in Tulsa, but that would be a vile lie because this place is brutal. Don’t get mad at him telling the truth! And another truth is that Kevin has a very special guest. He is a man Kevin is proud to call his best friend, and after this man beats Roman Reigns at the Royal Rumble like he has in a plethora of matches before, he will be called the Universal Champion. Please welcome Seth! FRRRRREAKIN’! ROLLINS~! Rollins makes his way out to the ring, fired up as always, but especially now after having evaded a Bloodline beatdown on SmackDown last Friday.
Rollins takes up a mic and Kevin lets Rollins decide if they sit or stand. Rollins wants to stand, so he and Kevin kick the chairs aside. Kevin thanks Rollins for accepting his invitation to be a guest. Kevin wants to tell Rollins that he admires Rollins so much. There is so much Kevin admires about Rollins. From the great suits, like this striped one. He looks like a million bucks! MAHVELOUS! And even more so, Kevin admires Rollins’ courage. Do people realize how much guts it took for Rollins to show up on SmackDown, into the lion’s den, get face to face with Roman, and berate him into realizing that “The Head of the Table” is only possible because Rollins set the table.
“Yes, yes, yes! Kev, you hit the nail on the head right there!” Friday got a little testy, but the truth is, Roman’s rattled. Roman’s nervous, and dare Rollins say, Roman is scared. He’s scared! You heard it here first! Roman took the low road taking shots at Rollins’ family, sending the Usos after him. But everyone saw that the Usos couldn’t get the job done. Rollins says Roman is playing checkers while Rollins is playing chess! If Roman keeps this up, winning at the Rumble will be like taking candy from a baby. A little baby Roman! And Rollins will turn the title from blue to red and bring the Universal Championship back to their show, Monday Night Raw!
That’s huge! When Rollins wins, he’s staying on Raw with Kevin! Yes, 100%! Incredible! Then that means Raw has the best champion! Raw wouldn’t need Lesnar or Lashley, they’d have Rollins! Kevin again hits the nail on the head. Get rid of Lesnar. Rollins has a match with Lashley tonight, they can get rid of Lashley tonight! Who knows? Kevin likes the sound of that. But he has something of his own to announce and it is “earth shattering.” It will change the face of the industry! Right here and now, Kevin is officially declaring for the Royal Rumble! Rollins says that IS earth shattering!
Kevin will win the Rumble, Rollins will beat Roman, and the WWE Universe will get the match they… well, not deserve. But they’ll get the biggest Mania main-event ever! SETH FREAKIN’ ROLLINS VS KEVIN FREAKIN’ OWENS! Rollins likes where Kevin’s head is at. But here comes Damian Priest! Rollins says this is his time and Kevin’s show! If Priest steps any closer, Kevin will kick his ass! Kevin wants Rollins to stop but Priest tells Rollins to shut up! They’re both delusional idiots! There is not one person on this planet that believes Rollins will win at the Rumble. And Kevin is just a liar, so he isn’t winning, either.
And if Kevin doesn’t want to see Damian, then don’t wake him up. Oh and by the way, Priest talked with Pearce and Sonya. Their match tonight? That starts NOW! Kevin is freaking out, but Rollins tries to encourage him. Will it not matter when the Archer of Infamy takes aim?
In the animal kingdom, the lion bides its time as it hunts its prey. Step by step, until it finally strikes, leaving only scraps for the hyenas. When will the Million Dollar Arm finally strike?
Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens!
Raw returns and the bell rings. They tie up, Kevin waistlocks, but Priest pries free to wrench to a wristlock. Kevin rolls, headlocks, but Priest uses a chinbar to push Kevin back and power out. Kevin rams Priest, but then Kevin apologizes, Things speed up, Priest runs Kevin over with a shoulder! Priest runs in at the corner, but Kevin puts him on the apron! Kevin elbows Priest away, but Priest ROUNDHOUSES back! Priest steps in but into a SHOTGUN! Kevin stomps Priest at the ropes, lets off as the ref counts, then drags Priest to center for a SENTON! Kevin wraps on a chinlock and leans on Priest but fans rally up.
Priest fights up, priest the hold open but Kevin CLUBS him on the back. Kevin CHOPS, whips, but Priest reverses. Kevin KCISK back, CHOPS again, and CHOPS! Priest snarls, but Kevin apologizes again. This is just good, clean wrestling! Priest cools off, but then he fires off fast hands! WHEEL KICK! Kevin goes to a corner, Priest runs in but Kevin bails out. Fans boo, Priest keeps cool, but then Priest goes out the side. Priest runs in around the way, leaps off the steps, into a SUPERKICK! Kevin gets back in the ring to refresh the count, then FROG SPLASHES off the apron! Kevin roars while Priest sputters! Kevin drags Priest up and in as Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Priest CLOBBERS Kevin! Fans fire up as Priest aims from a corner, and Priest throws haymakers! Priest fires off KICK after KICK, then a ROLLING ELBOW! Kevin rebounds, into a FLAPJACK! Priest runs at Kevin in the corner, for a big back elbow! Priest reels Kevin in, but Kevin wrenches out to ROCK Priest! Kevin whips, Priest rebounds to LARIAT! Priest gets Kevin up for the BROKEN ARROW! Cover, TWO! Priest is annoyed but he drags Kevin up. Priest ROCKS Kevin with a right, hoists him up top in the corner and ROCKS him again! Priest climbs up, but Kevin hits back!
Priest and Kevin brawl, Priest gets the edge. Priest brings Kevin up, but Kevin blocks the superplex! Kevin throws body shots, and even a headbutt! Kevin headbutts again, Priest falls down! Kevin adjusts, SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives and Kevin thinks of what he has to do now. Kevin aims, kicks but no stunner! Kevin ducks the heel kick, tries gain, but Priest dragon sleepers! But Kevin slips free to pop Priest up, SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives again and Kevin is shocked! Fans rally up, Kevin aims, kicks, but Priest blocks to spin and ROUNDHOUSE! Kevin wobbles into a choke grip, SOUTH OF HEAVEN CHOKE SLAM! Cover, TWO!!
Priest is shocked that Kevin survives! Kevin rolls away to a corner but Priest follows. Priest throws hands, whips Kevin corner to corner, but Kevin falls, clutching his leg. The ref checks on Kevin, Kevin flounders up saying it’s cramping up. The ref wants a medic to check this, fans boo but Priest isn’t sure what to make of this. But then Kevin suckers him in for a STUNNER!! Cover, Kevin wins!
Winner: Kevin Owens, by pinfall
Priest was right about Kevin being a liar! But now, Kevin could also be a contender! Will Kevin add the US Championship to his Road to WrestleMania?
Backstage interview with Nikki A.S.H.
What is her plan heading into tonight’s match with former tag partner, Rhea Ripley? Nikki tells Sarah that this is no different than any other match. It is clear to Nikki now that she stands on her own, and she couldn’t feel any better. Rhea should be down and out, completely mortified after being proven the friend Nikki didn’t think she was. But Nikki, you were the one who attacked Rhea- Sarah, you need to get your facts straight! Rhea is the one who broke up the team. Rhea is the one who decided to take their friendship and flush it! She is the villain, not Nikki! And Nikki is the closest thing that the people of Tulsa will ever have to a real hero. She will be the People’s Hero.
And sometimes, heroes have to do things that regular people don’t understand. After tonight, Rhea will realize that she needs a superhero, whether she likes it or not. Nikki strikes her superhero pose and walks away, but will Rhea’s brutality smack some sense into her?
The Alpha Academy heads to the ring.
Pomp & Circumstance plays because today is Otis’ graduation! Will the NEW Raw Tag Team Champions be celebrating on top of their big title victory from last week?
Raw returns and Gable is at the podium. “Greetings and salutations my fellow colleagues and… Oh who am I kidding? I don’t have any colleagues here, considering I’m an Olympian with a Master’s Degree that did it with an immaculate 4.0 GPA! Thank you! Don’t do that. Don’t boo education. That’s gross, everybody.” But it makes sense, since the odds of anyone in Oklahoma having a Master’s, let alone graduating high school, are slim to none! Now shoosh! Tonight is about celebrating. Not just an institution but an individual. Gable could go on and on about himself, because his list is long.
But tonight is about a man who overcame the odds. An absolute tree trunk in the ring and a great student in the classroom. Gable’s prized pupil, his protégé, his number one guy, OTIS! Gable’s so proud. Last week, Otis applied the lessons and passed his final exam by decimating the moronic RKBRO and claimed the Academy’s rightful spot as tag team champions! So tonight, it is Gable’s honor and pleasure- Fans chant with “RKBRO! RKBRO!” They’re trying to have a ceremony for Otis! Gable presents to Otis, who has no last name anymore, the highest graduating honors from the Alpha Academy! The music plays again as they hug it out.
Gable says Otis has the floor. Look at that face! Otis thanks Chad, and says Gable has helped him reach his full potential. But now he has a warning: expect pure carnage for anyone who messes with the titles! They ain’t stopping, and they ain’t ever gonna stop! But here comes Matt Riddle! The Bro is in his own graduation gown, but it has mismatched sleeves… Riddle asks, “What’s up, bros? Big O, you’re looking pretty, pretty tight. And you guys don’t even wanna know what I had to get this graduation gown on time.” But when he got invited to this ceremony, he knew he had to make a very special speech.
Riddle brings out his speech, written on a napkin from this morning’s breakfast buffet. “Fellow graduates and Tulsinians. IT felt like just last week, Randy and I were the WWE Raw Tag Team Champions. We were livin’ on the edge, drivin’ with the top down, lettin’ the wind blow through our hair. We were just a couple o’ young, wild stallions runnin’ free. But today is graduation day. And our lives will change forever. Randy would always say, ‘Life comes at ya pretty fast.'” Gable stops him there, he has no idea what he’s going on about. Riddle was NOT invited to this. And Oklahoma can’t afford to lose another braincell, so just be on your way.
Riddle has “Gablestiltskin” take it easy. Riddle wants to say how proud he is of them. Them and their astronomical necks. See? He can use big words, too, Chad! Gable says Riddle is an idiot. He already ruined Otis’ night, so get to the point. RKBRO wants a rematch? Problem is, Riddle probably can’t even define the word rematch. Riddle so can! A rematch is… uh… when you have to light something up twice! Like a candle! But hey, a rematch sounds like a pretty sick idea. Fans wanna see it! Gable knew it. No wonder Orton left Riddle high and dry. Where even is he? Riddle unzips his gown to show off his “Hey Raaaandy” shirt.
Gable and Otis will give them a rematch, under one condition: they have to prove their mental aptitude in an Alpha Academy Academic Challenge! Otis suddenly looks worried. TO spell it out, it’s Riddle & Randy VS the Academy to prove the smarter team! Because we already saw who the physically dominant team is! Whoa, an academic challenge? Like Billy Madison? Or more like Wheel of Fortune? Riddle loves spinning that wheel, and maybe he and Otis could run in a giant hamster wheel. Gable kinda looks like a jacked hamster, but with three times the brains. Otis is furious and throws off his gown! Riddle wants Otis to back it up and cool off.
Otis storms up the ramp, barking about this being his night! But Orton gets in the ring to RKO Gable!! And then Riddle trips up Otis on the apron! RKBRO got one over on the Academy, and now Orton wears one of the red graduation gowns! Orton gets the mic to then tell the Academy, “We accept!” Will Riddle & Orton get PhDs in kicking the Academy’s asses?
Austin Theory visits Vince McMahon.
Theory thanks Vince for the rematch with Finn Balor. But uh, what’s Vince watching on his TV? It was the previous match, where Finn won. Oh… Theory knows he lost, but then he beat the hell outta Finn and nearly ended his career. In fact, it was like a half victory. No such thing. So tonight, Theory needs to beat Finn and beat him up. If Theory doesn’t, Vince will get someone to drag Theory to this office and Vince will beat Theory up! Smash him all over, and by the time he’s finished, it’ll just be blood, snot and broken teeth. Then Vince will take a selfie with that. And send it to Mama Theory! Oh… Theory has been warned, will he make good on this rematch?
WWE honors Martin Luther King Jr.
“Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. That all men would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” That dream of MLK’s, where we judge not by the color of skin but by character, is still alive. We will all reach the Promised Land together.
Finn Balor VS Austin Theory!
Raw returns and Theory makes his entrance. The Prince is back after being out a month, will he make Theory pay for every minute he’s missed? The bell rings, they circle and tie up, and Theory puts Finn on ropes. The ref counts, Theory lets off but Finn blocks the cheap shot to kick and headlock! Finn thrashes to grind Theory down, Theory powers out but Finn ducks and dodges, only for Theory to CLOBBER him with an elbow! Theory drags Finn out of the ring to smack off the apron! And then whip him into barriers! Theory goes into the ring and the ring count climbs. Finn stands but Theory goes out after him.
Theory whips, Finn reverses, and Theory hits barriers! Finn then hits a SLINGBLADE! Theory writhes, the count is rising, and Raw goes to break.
Raw returns and Finn rallies, trips and DOUBLE STOMPS Theory down! Theory goes to a corner, Finn runs in and CHOPS! Finn whips Theory corner to corner, Theory reverse but Finn reverses back, ELBOW DROP DDT! Cover, TWO! Finn snarls, Theory crawl to ropes and Finn KICKS him out of the ring! Finn drags Theory up but Theory HOTSHOTS! Theory somersaults in, but into a SLINGBLADE! Finn then runs, into a LARIAT from Theory! Theory hauls Finn up to FLAPJACK HOTSHOT! Fireman’s carry, A T- NO! Finn makes it a roll up, TWO! Theory and Finn get up, and Finn goes to the apron. Finn shoulders into Theory, GAMANGIRIS, then climbs up!
But Theory avoids the Coup De Grace to somersault SHOTGUN! Fireman’s carry, A T L!! Cover, Theory wins!
Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall
Theory saves himself from Vince’s wrath, and he gets his victory selfie. But to make good on what Vince told him, Theory fires off fists! Theory then drags Finn up, fireman’s carries again, for another A T L! Theory tells Finn to expect the unexpected. But will Finn find a way to teach Theory and Mr. McMahon respect for The Prince?
Nikki A.S.H. VS Rhea Ripley!
Before the match, Rhea is interviewed backstage. How does she respond to Nikki saying it was Rhea who ruined the relationship? Rhea says she never intended for this to hurt their friendship. But Nikki made up her mind. Rhea isn’t one to forgive very easily, so what kind of hero attacks a friend? If Rhea’s the villain here, than Nikki’s more delirious than Rhea thought. It’s time to remind everyone who Rhea Ripley is. Is Nikki in for a Nightmare tonight?
Raw returns and Nikki makes her entrance, but then so do Queen Zelina Vega and Carmella. Mella says, “Hear ye, hear ye, Tulsa. The Most Beautiful Woman in All of WWE and Your Queen have arrived to tell everyone in this dusty arena that everything we predicted about Nikki A.S.H. has come true.” Zelina’s word is absolute, and therefore she is correct by default. Not only is she a beloved queen, but also a fairy godmother. Rhea would never have been rid of Nikki without their little push. Rhea should be thanking them! Because they’ve been telling Rhea for weeks that if she stuck with an Almost Superhero, she’d never be nothing more than an almost threat.
But seems things are too late. Rhea doesn’t look like anything more than a low class loser. Without Nikki as her security blanket, does Rhea have what it takes? As Zelina’s said, you’re either the most powerful women in the room, or you’re nothing. Zelina is queen, but Rhea will be standing there, covered in trash, looking for someone to leech off of. Rhea doesn’t have the guts to be champion all on her own. Rhea tells them to bring it, then, but Nikki goes after Rhea! The ref wants Nikki to let off, but Nikki keeps hammering Rhea down! Rhea hits back but Nikki throws Rhea down! Nikki is seething, and then she drags Rhea up. Rhea kicks Nikki away but Nikki throws her out!
Nikki WRECKS Rhea with a dropkick, then goes out to RAM her into steel steps! The Almost Superhero leaves Rhea down, but the match is called off. Will Rhea get right? Or will she get revenge?
Dana Brooke and Reggie regroup backstage.
What did they talk about? Staying low and staying mobile. That’s right! Reggie is faster, stronger and amazing! Use Omos’ size against him, tire him out, and go for the legs. Meanwhile, R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Tamina, and a referee are watching while eating popcorn. Dana says Reggie can be vicious and ruthless while also super athletic. Reggie says, “Who am I kidding?” He ran into Omos full speed and bounced off him! Dana says Reggie is the most capable man she knows. Just stay away from him. But even Dana looks worried. Truth says Dana must really hate Reggie. She just told him to get got! Will Reggie even survive his run-in with Omos?
Reggie w/ Dana Brooke VS Omos!
Raw returns and Reggie makes his entrance. Dana is cheering him on, but she still looks very worried. Omos points out the clear height difference, and then he roars! Even that scares Reggie! But then here come the 24/7 Championship hunters! Dana runs into the ring, scoots under Omos and out the other side. Omos catches Tozawa, TOSSES him out, then CLOBBERS Truth! Tamina stares Omos down and Reggie climbs the corner. Tamina goes around Omos, the bell rings, and Reggie leaps! Into Omos’ arms! Omos uses both hands for the MOUNTAIN TOSS! Omos says it’s that easy. Cover, Omos wins.
Winner: Omos, by pinfall
Omos didn’t break a sweat with that one! Will the colossus of Raw continue to dominate until he’s on top of the world?
Maryse heads to the ring!
As her note said, she is here to talk with Beth face-to-face. But will that all this be? Or do Miz & Mrs. have a plan for the Glamazon? We find out, after the break.
Raw returns and Maryse has a mic to say, “Bonsoir (good evening), Tulsa.” She assures us The Miz couldn’t make it. He has a very big mouth and likes to agree to things without asking her first, so tonight, she is cleaning up his mess. She then asks Beth to come out alone so they can do this right. Woman to woman, wife to wife and mother to mother, Maryse wants to talk. Beth makes her entrance, but Edge still follows her out. Maryse wants Edge to wait on the ramp until they’ve had this conversation. There aren’t many ways to put this, but the match at the Rumble, it has to be canceled. Uh, okay. This oughta be good, so Beth is all ears.
Maryse says she doesn’t want it, surely Beth doesn’t want it, and the fans don’t want it! Fans boo, they DO want it. Maryse is trying to have a heartfelt moment, guys. Really? Really? Really? Maryse is sure sounding like Miz here… Maryse says she has the mic, so she can be louder than everyone here. It doesn’t matter what you think! Now she’s The Rock? But anyway, Maryse wants Beth to listen. They’re from the same generation in WWE. They fought together. Remember those two minute matches? Fans chant, “You Suck!” but Maryse asks if they’re done.
But Beth, c’mon. They fought together and made the Women’s Division what it is today! They’re great at what they do! Just look at them! Women nowadays main event WrestleMania thanks to these two! So if anything, Maryse thinks that they should be on the same team. They should be a unit! Friends! Even their daughters can be friends! They can have play dates, dinners, or even just a coffee. Beth wants Maryse to know that she speaks for everyone here when she says, “Just shut up!” Seriously? BFF’s? Playdates? Is anyone buying this? NOPE! So that means Maryse takes acting lessons from The Miz.
Beth boils it down to a simple answer: the match is NOT off. Beth is NOT missing the chance to tag team with her husband for the first time ever. And she is NOT missing the chance to Glam Slam Maryse’s ass through the canvas! In fact, why not give the fans a preview? Beth storms up to the ring but Maryse stays put. Wait, Miz attacks Edge at the ramp! But Edge DECKS Miz! Maryse really was lying about Miz being at home! But then Maryse CLOBBERS Beth with her purse! What’s in that bag?! Maryse and Miz decide to show us: it was a BRICK! A literal BRICK! Maryse tosses her hair back and celebrates with The Miz. But will Edge and Beth only look to break The It Couple for that one?
The Street Profits are fired up backstage!
Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford have a dream! The dream is that they have a plan and will execute it and win! The best part is, they do it in Tulsa, Oklahoma~! YESSIR! All the bodies in the ring, it’ll be like a mini Rumble. Which is great cuz the Profits were the first to declare for this year’s Rumble! Their first one, tossin’ bodies! But will Ford throw Dawkins? Rey Mysterio & Dom walk over to say not to worry. They’re a team tonight, and they’ll also be in the Rumble. Rey has to get this off his chest: Los Mysterios will outlast 28 other men in the Rumble. And then, not only will they throw those guys out, they’ll take the Mysterio name back to the Mania main event!
Okay, all due respect, that’s only if the Profits don’t make it there first. Because the Profits are up! And WE WANT THE SMOKE! Will these four burn it down to then light it up on the Road to WrestleMania?
8 Man Tag: The Street Profits & The Mysterios VS Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez & The Dirty Dawgs!
Raw returns and the Dawgs make their entrance. Then the Pride of Nigeria and his right hand man make their entrance. Teams sort out, Dolph Ziggler starts against Dom. They tie up, Dom waistlocks but Ziggler elbows free. Ziggler talks trash, runs, but Dom follows to RANA! Dom runs at Ziggler in the corner but Ziggler CLOBBERS Dom! Tag to Robert Roode and he stomps Dom. Roode drags Dom up, suplexes, but Dom knees free! Dom kicks low, tags Rey, and Rey gets a boost to RANA! Rey whips, Roode reverses but Rey dodges and tilt-o-whirl headscissors! Rey runs in but Roode puts him on the apron. Rey DECKS Roode, climbs, and leaps, but the rana is blocked
Roode brings Rey up, but Rey RANAS Roode out of the ring! Ziggler and Dom get in, Dom whips but Ziggler throws Dom up and out! Ford and Dawkins DROPKCIK Ziggler out! All eight men are on the outside now and shouting, but the ref keeps the peace while Raw goes to break!
Raw returns, Roode tags Ziggler and the Dawgs double whip Rey to double elbow him down. Then the Dawgs hit Rey’s corner to knock everyone down! Fans boo but Ziggler drags Rey over to tag Apollo. Apollo hits a STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Ziggler is upset on Apollo’s behalf, but Apollo decides he’ll finish it now. Apollo gets Rey up, trophy lifts, but Rey fights free to a DDT! Both men are down and fans fire up! Rey crawls, Dawks is back! Hot tag to the Curse of Greatness! And he rallies on everyone! He hurdles Apollo to hit a FLYING BACK ELBOW! Roode runs into an EXPLODER! Ziggler runs into an EXPLODER!
Dawkins gives Apollo a CYCLONE SPLASH, then the SILENCER! But Azeez gets in to break the cover! Ford returns to ENZIGURI Azeez out! The Dawgs TOSS Ford out! But the Mysterios dropkick the Dawgs onto the ropes! STEREO 619’s! Dom goes up and out to LEAP at Azeez! But Azeez catches him! Rey jumps to add on, the Mysterios take out Azeez! But Apollo rolls Dawkins up! TWO, and pop-up for SKY HIGH! Tag to Ford, he’s up top! FROM THE HEAVENS!! Cover, the Profits & Mysterios win!
Winners: The Street Profits & The Mysterios, by pinfall
Ford was five-star again with that splash, but then the Mysterios decide to dump the Profits out! Rey says that’s nothing personal, just a sample of the Rumble. And then he dumps Dom out! The son’s got a lot to learn still. But will Dom & Rey look to be in that final handful at the Rumble to put their name back on the WrestleMania marquee?
WWE looks at the parallels of Lashley and Lesnar.
“Forge: to form by heating and hammering; to beat into shape.” Great warriors are born at the forge, shaped by the heat of the fire and tried in the brutality of combat. This is the beginning of two such warriors. “The great plains often invoke idyllic dreams of an unending cascades of crops and green pastures. But in winter, these dreams are overtaken by the harsh reality of desolation and decay. It is here that the heart of a Beast was forged, and a Conqueror was born.” Brock Lesnar is a two-time NCAA All American with over 100 victories, and the NCAA Division I Heavyweight Champion. And just five months after his WWE debut, The Next Big Thing was WWE Champion.
After ravaging every challenger in the WWE, the Beast would go to the UFC, and in just three fights, he’d reign supreme as the UFC Heavyweight Champion. Then upon returning to the WWE, Lesnar’s path of devastation continued. He took 16-time WWE Champion John Cena to Suplex City, ended The Undertaker’s WrestleMania undefeated streak, and cemented his dominance as a three-time Universal and six-time World Champion. He is a Beast without limits, without remorse, and without fear.
“Discipline. Restraint. Control. It is from these fires that the All Mighty was forged. Son of a US Army drill sergeant, Bobby Lashley learned at an early age that only by rigorously harnessing his natural ability that he would the greatness that he sought.” A three-time NAIA wrestling champion, Lashley would follow his father’s footsteps into the Army, and he honed his craft onto his way to winning gold in the Armed Forces Championship. Lashley would emerge in WWE as a peak physical specimen, unleashing a torrent of physical power and ferocity. But while he won gold, Lashley couldn’t quite find that next level.
A sojourn into MMA ignited the fires and Lashley had a 15-2 record. Then he’d return to the WWE and he would unleash havoc on opponent after opponent with his arsenal of high impact moves, headlined by the Hurt Lock full nelson. He would become United States Champion, Intercontinental Champion, and ultimately, WWE World Champion. Now, Lashley is ready for the one challenge that eluded him. For 20 years, Lashley believes Lesnar was ducking him. But Lesnar is confident that if they’d met before, Lesnar would’ve already beaten him. But the Royal Rumble will see the champion Beast collide with an All Mighty challenger.
These paths have finally crossed. Two warriors, forged in flame, battle and gold, fight for the ultimate prize. Only one emerges THE WWE World Champion. Will the ring even stay standing as these wage war?
The Miz & Maryse are heading out.
Kevin Patrick stops them to ask about that vicious attack. Miz says it took ONE SHOT to take down the Glamazon! Now Beth needs medical attention! Now the Grit Couple is the SH- Maryse stops Miz there. The girls are watching at home. Oh, right. Daddy loves ya, girls! And Miz loves Mommy. He is the best husband ever, because he remembered that Maryse’s birthday is next week! So before saying bonny nut- No, no, it’s bonne nuit. The T is silent. Right, bonne nuit to the Grit Couple, Miz is going to throw the most expensive, extravagant and amazing birthday party that anyone has ever seen, because Miz loves Maryse.
Nothing, especially not Edge & Beth, is stronger than their love. These two make-out right in front of us… But will announcing the birthday party here come back to bite the It Couple?
Alexa Bliss has another therapy session.
She and her therapist sit quietly a moment before he welcomes her back. He’s happy to say that there are less breakable things here in the office. She isn’t sure about that. But these sessions will continue. He will not tolerate a repeat of last week, though. He does apologize for showing her such a sensitive subject, but he had to know where she stood psychological. He promises her that she will be on the road to recovery. Neat. Now, let’s do word association. Okay, sure. How does she feel about the word, “Trust.” “Lily.” Friend? Lily. Home? Lily. Doll… Lily. Imaginary. Alexa gets up out of her seat and glares at him. Okay, time’s up.
The doc bolts but Alexa cools off. She sits back down, looks around the room, but stays quiet. Will Alexa ever get over her twistedly tragic past?
Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Seth Rollins!
The Rocky Mountain Machine is ready to wreck everything, including Brock Lesnar. Meanwhile, The Visionary is preparing to repeat history and defeat Roman Reigns once again. But who will have some major momentum on their side going towards those titanic title matches? The main event of top championship challengers begins after the break!
Raw returns and Rollins makes his entrance. The bell rings and Lashley glares while Rollins smirks. The two circle, fans rally up, and the two tie up. Rollins headlocks, Lashley powers up to power out, but Rollins duck sand dodges. Lashley hurdles then runs Rollins over! Fans cheer as Lashley mocks Rollins’ pose. The two reset, circle and tie up again. Rollins waistlocks, Lashley uses ropes to buck Rollins away, but Rollins hurdles and drops to then go perpendicular, SLINGBLADE! Rollins kicks, reels Lashley in, but Lashley back drops free! Lashley stalks Rollins, but Rollins fights the full nelson! Rollins drops to KICK Lashley, then he dumps Lashley out!
Rollins builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit but Lashley stays up! Rollins goes back in, builds speed again, DIVES, but into a clinch! OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Lashley roars and Rollins flounders while Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Rollins has Lashley down now! Rollins drags Lashley to a corner to SLAM a leg against the post! Rollins SLAMS the leg again, talks trash to MVP, then gets in as the ring count reaches 5 of 10. Rollins drags Lashley up, puts the bad leg in the ropes, pulls until the ref counts, then dropkicks the leg! Lashley falls, Rollins drags him to center and steps through to drop a leg on the knee! Lashley snarls and fans rally up. MVP coaches Lashley, but Rollins drops another leg on the bad knee! And then another! Rollins has the toehold, ties up the legs, but Lashley fights, only for Rollins to still get the Indian Deathlock!
Rollins keeps Lashley’s hands away while Lashley endures the hold. Rollins SLAPS Lashley in the side, but Lashley pulls hair! The ref reprimands, Lashley lets go but he punches Rollins! Rollins lets the legs free, but then he gets the bad one for a DRAGON SCREW! And into a HALF CRAB! Lashley endures, even as Rollins sits deep! Lashley powers up, fans rally up, and Lashley turns, only for Rollins to stomp the leg! Rollins has the Half Crab again! MVP coaches Lashley more but Rollins talks trash on “Bob.” Lashley fights up, turns things over, and he boots Rollins away! Rollins falls out of the ring but he’s right back in! Lashley avoids the stomp for a COMPLETE SHOT!
MVP says that’s the All Mighty Lashley he knows! Lashley grits his teeth and pushes up, just as Rollins also sits up. Rollins turns around into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And then another! Lashley runs in at the corner, to RAM into Rollins! Lashley turns Rollins around, NECKBREAKER! Lashley fires up and Tulsa fires up with him! Lashley gets Rollins up, suplexes, but Rollins fights free! Lashley kicks low to gut wrench, DOMINATOR! Cover, TWO!! Rollins survives but MVP coaches Lashley to keep going. Lashley aims from a corner, Rollins rises, Lashley runs in, into a KNEE! Rollins hits a ROLLING ELBOW! Then runs, but into a scoop!
Rollins slips out, shoves Lashley into buckles, then kicks low! Rollins underhooks the arms, PEDIGREE!! Cover, TWO!?! Lashley survives but Rollins is too tired to be shocked! Fans rally behind Lashley but Rollins stands. Rollins goes to a corner, climbs up top, but Lashley gets him with a choke grip! Lashley climbs up, but Rollins fights with elbows! But Lashley clinches, for a SUPER BELLY2BELLY!! Rollins goes flying to the other side of the ring! Lashley gets back to a corner but the Hurt Business go after him!!
Winner: Bobby Lashley, by disqualification
Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin mug Lashley but Lashley fights back! That’s still 2v1, and they POST him! Alexander & Benjamin shout that he’s brought this upon himself, and then the POST Lashley again! They glare at MVP but then drag Lashley back up. But Lashley DOUBLE SUPLEXES them instead! COMPLETE SHOT for Benjamin! Fireman’s carry and the POST for Alexander! Lashley SPEARS Benjamin through barriers! Rollins is shocked at seeing the carnage, but the USOS run out from the crowd! Rollins turns around, into DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! Jimmy & Jey make up for missing the target on SmackDown!
Rollins lost the match and then got got! Will he stand a chance of dethroning the Head of the Table if the Usos can get him on his show? As for Lashley, will he be able to go for the gold if he has his former henchmen coming after him?
This was a decent episode, but with really glaring low points. Does Vince just hate Women’s Wrestling again? Why is it that the matches tonight were basically filler to move the story along? Nikki VS Rhea being No Contest was whatever since it at least went with story. But that opening tag match had Becky, Piper, Bianca and Liv, all of which are basically the stars of the Raw Women’s Division. Yet Vince couldn’t be bothered to give that match more than a bathroom break amount of time! I suppose because it was Piper ending it all very quickly, we’re supposed to think Piper is that great, but honestly it just hurt all four women. If Bianca was taken out by just a corner splash, how is she to win the Rumble?
Finn VS Theory 2 was also way too short. I get there was a commercial break in the middle but that just makes it worse. Theory winning was clean also a shame, and not because of Vince’s weird threat to him. I get that Theory needed to win to make a feud out of this, but why not dirty it up a little? When is Finn going to get a chance to comment on how Theory is Vince’s pet project and all that? This whole thing is just hurting my brain. And only a little less than the Veer Mahaan videos coming back. He better show up in the Rumble. And this week’s Alexa therapy session was filler. It was just her associating everything with Lily but not even in a more compelling way than last week’s “triggered Alexa” vignette.
We got a good 8 Man Tag but it was also on the short side. It was pretty standard Rumble season stuff for Rey & Dom to dump the Profits out, but Rey dumping Dom was a bit of a surprise. Maybe Dom will do the same during the Rumble on Rey? I did appreciate them weaving three backstage segments into one, going from Reggie wanting advice from Edge but basically striking out, and then Edge talking with Priest and then Priest talking with Kevin. If Dana still has the 24/7 title come the Women’s Rumble, can that title end up hot potato’d around to end up on someone from SmackDown? Or does Fox just hate that title?
Omos of course destroyed Reggie, but I almost thought he was going to somehow end up 24/7 champion. That’d probably put the end to the title, though, because who would even try to take it from him? Kevin had a very good match with Priest, and his win definitely puts him in line for the US Championship, but who knows if Kevin will even go for it with him so closely connected to Rollins in their stories. And we got a good promo segment out of Maryse and Beth. But Maryse bringing up the Diva Era short matches and yet we got a short women’s match here, the irony clearly goes over Vince’s thick head. That brick in the purse, though. And telegraphing the birthday stuff for next week, Maryse’s cake is definitely going into someone’s face.
The Alpha Academy graduation was a pretty good segment. I am sure Riddle was referencing something but I can’t place it. I can’t believe they’re kayfabing that Otis never had the last name “Dozovic.” That’s taking Vince’s love of editing names to a new, dumber level. But I loved the face Otis made when Gable said they were going to have a tag team academic challenge. He’s going to end up the weak link for his team since this graduation was based on his in-ring skills. The Lesnar Lashley vignette was well made, but a rather melodramatic theme in the narration. After the string of short matches, it just felt like WWE trying too hard to be cinematic and not enough about action.
Lashley VS Rollins was great stuff, until the Hurt Business “ruined” things. It just keeps reminding us of how flippant they’ve been with that faction’s story. They work together against Goldberg but then not together against Lesnar, and now the Hurt Business is just being thrown at Lashley in an attempt to build Lashley as brutal and dominant without it being in the matches. The Usos getting the drop on Rollins was pretty good, though, since that carries over from SmackDown. If they’d let it just be the Usos trying to mess with Rollins, I think things would’ve felt a bit better.
My Score: 8/10
Mitchell’s AEW Dark: Elevation Results & Report! (1/17/22)
Raleigh gets Elevated!
A lucky seven for Elevation!
AEW continues in Raleigh and has a strong seven for Elevation! Jay Lethal is keeping himself sharp for what could be an FTW Championship showdown!
- Matt Sydal & Lee Moriarty VS JR Miller & Marcus Kross; Sydal & Moriarty wins.
- Tay Conti VS Ameera; Conti wins.
- Gunn Club VS JB Cole & T.I.M; Gunn Club wins.
- Frankie Kazarian VS Labron Kozone; Kaz wins.
- Ruby Soho VS Kenzie Page; Soho wins.
- Private Party VS Chase Emory & Patrick Scott; Private Party wins.
- Jay Lethal VS Alexander Moss; Lethal wins.
Pretty clear cut stuff here, but I like that we’re seeing Sydal & Moriarty in tag action again. Kenzie Page is back in AEW and she’ll give Ruby Soho a good match. Good to see Kaz back in action, they kinda let the ball drop on his Elite Hunter story but maybe he can build himself up towards the TNT Championship. And I have a feeling in Gunn Club’s match, fans will troll Austin & Colten as “Ass Boys” again and that could come close to costing them.
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The Marvel/DC Decathlon reaches it’s dramatic conclusion as Dave, Patrick, and PC Tunney decide brand superiority with respect to villains...
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NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.156 ~ 12TH JANUARY 2022