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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/31/21)

Dawn of the Final Day!!

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HPW Final Day

HPW takes a closer look at the Goddess and Triforce Championships!

Before the #CelebrationofGreatness, HPW takes a closer look at major match-ups! Lastly: The Goddess and Triforce Championships!

 

Zelda and Hilda are parallels.

The Princess of Hyrule and Her Grace are roughly the same age, height and body mass index. They’ve both won the Bracket of Wisdom in the Triforce Tournament, just one year apart. And right now, they’re both preparing for their battle at the Celebration of Greatness. Though, this is where things differ.

Zelda is in the ring, sparring with other Sheikah students of Impa’s. One rushes in, she catches his clothesline to wrench then turn for a NECKBREAKER! She sobats the next one, front kicks her, then snapmares her for a KICK to the back! She arm-drags the next one away, but another waistlocks her. Zelda switches to shove him at the other, and then she double SHOTGUNS them both down. She kips up, dodges another clothesline to spin and HYLIAN KISS HEADBUTT him down! Zelda shakes her head and steadies herself to then dare the others to bring it.

Hilda does get into the ring, but mostly to model for a magazine shoot. She promises she’ll have special ring gear made for HyruleMania 2. She does do some drills, like running the ropes, rolling and hurdling over the others, and then pulling hair and throwing slaps around? Hilda says that while Zelda has Sheikah Style, she has “Lorule Style.” There’s no low she won’t sink to in order to win. Cut to her wrenching an arm, getting the wristlock, and bending the fingers! She also claws backs, punches while holding a headlock, and gets cheap shots while using the ropes as defense.

Per Sheikah Style, Zelda toughens up by letting herself get hit with hard kicks to her torso, front and back. Hilda only gives the kicks. When it comes to being outside the ring and in the gym, Zelda and Hilda both do squats, but Zelda has a considerably heavier amount on her bar, and doesn’t wink or make kissy faces between reps. Getting in the pool, Zelda swims hard laps. Hilda just relaxes in a shiny purple inner tube with a drink in her hand. And for the cooldown after, Zelda gets in an ice tub, while Hilda stays in the pool.

“So what if Zelda’s father is the King of Hyrule?” Hilda sneers. “I’m second generation, too, y’know. My father was the King of Lorule. Not that many people really remember him for much. But I will continue our legacy. I will grow our legacy. I will make it so no one can forget me when I dethrone the PrInCeSs~ at HyruleMania!” Zelda counters by saying, “Let her talk, let her boast, let her brag. In the end, I will be the one that reigns.” Will Hilda have Her Crowning Achievement at the Celebration of Greatness? Or will Zelda ring in the New Year with a ONE YEAR REIGN?

 

Link and Ravio… aren’t parallels.

Link is up at 5 AM to jog around Kakariko Village, Ravio is still asleep. At 7 AM, Link is in the ring, running the ropes. Ravio is still asleep. At 8 AM, Link practices his top rope moves to make sure he still hits them right. Ice Arrow (corkscrew moonsault) to the crash test dummy, somersault back to the corner, then Fire Arrow (corkscrew shooting star) onto the dummy. Ravio is woken up by his pet bird thing, Shiro. Ravio realizes its 8 AM, hurries out of bed to clean up, then he finally gets to working out on a treadmill for his morning run. Link goes through his other moves, like dropkicks, arm-drags, hip tosses, and handsprings. Ravio stops on the treadmill, already gassed.

Link and Ravio each go to their home gyms. Link bench presses twice as much and squats three times as much as Ravio, and for five more reps than Ravio, too. While Link is hitting the salmon ladder, Ravio struggles to get a single chin-up. But while Link does bicep curls, Ravio sets to work on Ravio branded items! He sticks the purple rabbit ears on a baseball bat, then on a few kendo sticks, and then he spray paints his rabbit ear logo on a chair! Ravio’s already planning on using these against Link!

Link finishes with the jump rope, and his sister tells him breakfast is ready. Ravio gets ready to spray paint another item, but Hilda shouts for him to get her breakfast. Ravio sighs and does as he’s told. The Hero of Hyrule is honorable and hardworking, while the purple rabbit is more like a purple weasel. But will Link’s training prepare him for what’s up Ravio’s proverbial sleeve?


My Thoughts:

Doesn’t feel quite as epic as last year, but we did get Link VS Ganondorf for HyruleMania 1. These are going to be really fun matches, because just like in the Legend of Zelda games, we’re getting true opposites fighting each other. Even more than Link and Kage are opposites, Link and Ravio have very different approaches to a match.


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Hockey Talk- Reverse Psychology [032624]

Hockey Talk looks at the resurgent St. Louis Blues & Washington Capitals. Plus, the Rangers stay hot, and can anyone end Canda’s drought this season?

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Chairshot Radio Large

A couple of weeks ago, Patrick & Dave wrote off their respective teams and had given up all hope on either reaching the playoffs. Two weeks later, the reverse psychology has paid off as both the Blues and Capitals have climbed back into the playoff picture. With only about 10 games left on the regular season slate, the guys celebrate their teams’ resurgence and also contemplate other questions such as: Is this the Rangers’ year? Which Canadian team has the best chance at ending Canada’s Stanley Cup drought? Which teams have the nastiest schedules heading down the stretch. All that and much more on this week’s installment of Hockey Talk.

Today’s hosts: Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist)

  • The Caps and Blues fight back!
  • Is this the New York Rangers’ year?
  • Can any of the Canadian teams end the Stanley Cup drought?

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Bandwagon Nerds

Bandwagon Nerds #228: Superhero Madness- Part 2

Superhero Madness continues with first round battles in the Non-Powered Humans bracket, plus a bursting at the seams Trailer Park!

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario

Superhero Madness, BWN’s own version of March Madness, continues with Week 2 of some incredible battles across the Nerdosphere. This week’s matchups feature Non-Powered Humans, including some of the higher overall seeds, such as Batman and Iron Man, along with other favorites such as Shang Chi, Damian Wayne, Okoye, Daredevil, and many others. Which heroes will use their intellect and raw fighting skills to muscle their way to the Round of 32? All that plus the most loaded Trailer Park in BWN history, and the Nerds continue with their review of Season 2 of Invincible. Did Omni-Man provide a blueprint as to how to beat….himself? Tune in and find out.

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  • @BandwagonNerds

About Bandwagon Nerds

Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd, and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

About the Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

Featuring shows such as POD is WAR (sports, entertainment & sports entertainment) Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture), The DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect), The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling), The #Miranda Show (wrestling and entertainment), Hockey Talk (sports), Patrick O’Dowd’s 5×5 (pop culture), The Outsider’s Edge (wrestling), Down The Wire (Sports), Talk The Keki (Anime), The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, Attitude Of Aggression/The Big Four (wrestling), and more!


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