NXT UK was Pretty Deadly in 2021!
The holiday retrospective continues as former NXT UK Tag Team Champions, Pretty Deadly, take over and give us more of the Best of 2021!
- 2/25/21 – NXT UK Tag Team Championships: Gallus VS Pretty Deadly; Pretty Deadly wins and are the new NXT UK Tag Team Champions.
- 6/24/21 – Triple Threat: Joe Coffey VS Rampage Brown VS Ilja Dragunov; Dragunov wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Pretty Deadly welcome us to the New Year’s Eve edition of the “Pretty Deadly Power Hour,” aka NXT UK. And what a year! They’re taking a look back at the greatest moments of 2021, and honestly one of the greatest moments of all time. And of course, they’re talking about themselves!
NXT UK Tag Team Championships: Gallus VS Pretty Deadly!
Markus and Wolfie have held onto these belts for a long time, and admittedly from circumstances out of their control. But after a long road, Lewis Howley & Sam Stoker have found their way to challenging that status quo! Will it be Gallus Boys or #YESBOY on top after tonight?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and the make-or-break on a near 500 day reign begins!
The teams sort out, Mark Coffey starts with Sam Stoker. They circle, tie up, and then break. They tie up again, still a deadlock, so they break again. They circle, tie up, and now Coffey pushes Stoker to a corner. The ref calls for a break, they do let off, but both have their dukes up. Coffey backs off, circles with Stoker again and they tie up. Stoker tries to push Coffey but Coffey pushes him back. Stoker and Howley talk and decide to tag. Howley and Coffey tie up now, Coffey throws Howley down and has the arm. Tag to Wolfgang, he takes the hand-off and wrenches. Howley waistlocks, Wolfgang switches but Howley switches back to CLUB Wolfgang on the back.
Wolfgang just glares at Howley, but Howley waistlocks him again. Wolfgang throws Howley off and wrenches the arm to then arm-drag him! Wolfgang has the arm, fights off Howley’s headscissor attempts, and he tags Coffey back in. Coffey takes the hand-off to wrench and yank the arm, but Howley rolls to ROCK Coffey! Tag to Stoker but Stoker runs into an arm-drag! Coffey grinds the arm, Stoker gets up, tags Howley back in but Coffey reverses the whip to arm-drag! Howley runs in to snapmare but Coffey boots from below! Coffey arm-drags again, grinds the arm, and wrenches Howley. Tag to Wolfgang. he gets the hand-off and wrenches to an elbow breaker!
Howley endures, rolls, and gets a headlock. Wolfgang endures the grind, powers up but Howley thrashes about. Howley hits the takeover but Wolfgang gets a cover! ONE, Wolfgang gets the leg and tags in Coffey! Gallus give Howley a DOUBLE MONKEY FLIP! AKA, a Cornish Toss! Howley bails out, Stoker runs in, but Gallus sends him right out! Pretty Deadly regroups to cool off while Gallus stands tall in the ring. The ref counts, Wolfgang goes back to his corner while Stoker coaches Howley up. Howley gets in, circles with Coffey, and Coffey headlocks. Howley powers out, Coffey runs him over but Howley drops then hurdles to hip toss! Howley runs and rams Coffey!
Coffey drops to a knee, but drops lower to then come back with a hip toss! Cover, TWO, but Coffey tags Wolfgang. Gallus mugs Howley, Wolfgang ROCKS Howley with a EuroUpper, then whips him to a corner! Stoker saves Howley from the corner splash! Wolfgang ends up stuck on the top rope, Howley runs in to TOP SHELF KNEE! Tag to Stoker, Pretty Deadly double whip Wolfgang to DOUBLE LARIAT him! Pretty Deadly coordinate but Wolfgang fights off their combo move! Wolfgang scoops Stoker but Howley makes the save before Coffey tags in! The ref keeps this from turning into a scrap, but Wolfgang is ready for Stoker’s sucker punch!
Wolfgang throws hands then TOSSES Stoker! Stoker grabs at a buckle pad but Wolfgang CLUBS him, then TOSSES him the other way! Stoker still wants after a buckle pad but Wolfgang yanks him out of the corner. Howley goes after that open corner’s pad but Wolfgang goes after Howley! Stoker runs in to KNEE Wolfgang out of the ring! Wolfgang falls hard, Coffey backs Howley off but the ref tells them all to go to their corners. Howley POSTS Wolfgang in the distraction! Howley drags Wolfgang up, puts him in, and then Stoker stomps Wolfgang! Tag to Howley, Pretty Deadly bring Wolfgang up but Wolfgang fights them again! But they give Wolfgang a DOUBLE BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!
Howley stomps Wolfgang over and over, tags Stoker back in, and they drag Wolfgang back up for a mugging. Stoker rains down hands and stomps, then tags Howley back in. Stoker sits Wolfgang up for Howley to BOOT him! Howley drops ax handles and a leg, then covers, TWO! Howley drags Wolfgang up with an arm and wrenches to an elbow breaker! Howley hammerlocks an arm and RAMS Wolfgang into buckles! Howley chokes Wolfgang at the ropes, the ref counts and Howley lets off. Cover, ONE, and Wolfgang throws body shots. Howley rams Wolfgang into the Pretty Deadly corner, Stoker tags in, and Stoker runs in to UPPERCUT Wolfgang! Cover, TWO!
Stoker facelocks Wolfgang, grinds him down, gets the arm and pulls on it. Tag to Howley and he elbows Wolfgang in the ribs. Wolfgang gets up to ROCK Howley, but Stoker swipes at Wolfgang! Wolfgang DECKS Stoker but Howley attacks! Howley throws knees, hauls Wolfgang up the corner, but Wolfgang hits back, and hits a SPLASH to Howley while he’s standing! Howley is pancaked, but he anchors Wolfgang’s feet! Wolfgang boots Howley but Stoker tags in to intercept! Wolfgang back drops Stoker away! Stoker tags Howley, both Pretty Deadly leap for Wolfgang, but Wolfgang gets the hot tag to Coffey! Coffey rallies on Pretty Deadly with forearms and shoulders!
Wolfgang hits a FULL NELSON SLAM on Howley, then a SNAP SUPLEX on Stoker! Howley runs into a clinch, Coffey throws body shots then whips Howley corner to corner for the running EuroUpper! LARIAT! Coffey shoves Howley to hit a FLYING BULLDOG! Cover, TWO! Howley lives but Coffey drags him up to wrench and Russian Leg Sweep! Cover, TWO! Coffey drags Howley up, wrenches and crotch lifts but Howley turns that suplex into a sunset flip! TWO, Howley ducks Coffey to tag Stoker! Stoker runs but into a BOOT, and a BIG back suplex! Cover TWO! Stoker survives and BT Sports Studio fires up! Coffey drags Stoker up, choke grips but Stoker slips out of the slam!
Coffey standing switches, but Howley tags in! Coffey covers Stoker but Howley BOOTS him! Howley fireman’s carries Coffey to the ASSISTED GUT BUSTER!! Cover, TWO!! Coffey survives but Howley drags him back up! Coffey wrenches out, whips and GAMANGIRIS Howley down hard! Howley sits up in a daze, Wolfgang is back on the corner, Coffey tags Wolfgang in! Gallus coordinates, CATAPULT SAMOAN DROP! Wolfgang MOONSAULTS!! Cover, but Stoker breaks it in time!! Wolfgang throws Stoker to the apron, Coffey runs in but Stoker jumps the baseball slide! Wolfgang DECKS Stoker and Coffey catches him, for an APRON CHOKE SLAM!
Wolfgang goes back to Howley, but into a small package! TWO!! Wolfgang SPEARS Howley down! Cover, TWO!?! Howley is still in this and so is Pretty Deadly! Wolfgang tags Coffey in, Gallus drags Howley up to feed to a scoop. Somehow, Stoker is back up and in! Coffey DECKS him, but Howley slips off Wolfgang and dodges him to CLOBBER Coffey! Wolfgang LARIATS Howley outside, Stoker SLAPS Wolfgang! Wolfgang chases Stoker out of the ring, they go around and Howley POUNCES Wolfgang over the barriers!! Howley tags Stoker but Coffey dodges his corner attack to kick Howley low!
Coffey whips Howley at Stoker, but Stoker goes up. Howley gives Stoker a boost to hit a CODE BREAKER on Coffey!! Cover, TWO!?!? Coffey survives that Pretty Deadly combo, but Howley has an idea! He tosses Stoker a tag title belt! The ref is busy with Stoker while Howley has the other belt! Coffey dodges the belt shot to POLISH HAMMER Howley! The ref is busy putting the one belt away as Stoker runs at Coffey, TORNADO DDT on the second belt!! Pretty Deadly hides the evidence and Stoker tags Howley in!! SPILT MILK!!! Cover off the neckbreaker spinebuster combo, Pretty Deadly wins!!
Winners: Pretty Deadly, by pinfall (NEW NXT UK Tag Team Champions)
#YESBOY indeed! Because yes, boy, Gallus’ reign ends at 497! Is this going to be the beginning of a Pretty Deadly Era?
Pretty Deadly reacts to their win.
Yes! The greatest achievement of their careers: winning the NXT UK Tag Team Championships. Though starring in the west end hit of Magic Mike was pretty good, too. Then there was starring on Celebrity Mash-Up, and being voted GQ’s co Sexiest Man Alive 2021. The cameraman says that last one didn’t happen, but they tell him to shush. Just roll the video. It’s of course a video tribute to Pretty Deadly during their time as NXT UK Tag Team Champions. But then the video takes a turn into the rise of Moustache Mountain towards those titles.
Tyler Bate & Trent Seven climbed up to get a rematch with Pretty Deadly, and on December 9th, history was made! Moustache Mountain took the NXT UK Tag Team Championships for their own!
NXT UK superstars wish us a Happy New Year!
Dave Mastiff is first to wish us all a Happy New Year. He knows many people will be making resolutions this year in an attempt to become better people. He’s no different. TO SE TEAMING WITH Jack Starz, he’s learned he needs to smile a little bit more. And that will be his resolution. He does his best but obviously he still needs to work on it. And speaking of Starz, he’s getting in another workout before the year is over. Starz says even though it’ll be a new year, it’ll be much of the same. Same drive, same vision, same dogged mentality. But there will be one thing that changes: he and Mastiff will become NXT UK Tag Team Champions!
Ashton Smith wishes us a Happy New Year, and 2022 won’t have resolutions. The goal remains the same! Ready and forward, always forward! Saxon Huxley says he’ll stomp his way into the new year, and the NXT UK Universe will be saying, “There he goes.” Primate says Christmas has come and gone, now we’re on to New Year’s. And his resolution is to inflict as much pain and suffering as possible! A-Kid wishes a Happy New Year in English and Spanish, and says his resolution will be to get back to the Heritage Cup.
Next week starts the year off big!
The first NXT UK of 2022, and the NXT UK Women’s Championship is on the line! Will Ichiban Gaijin, Blair Davenport, be the one to dethrone the Final Boss, Meiko Satomura? Or will it be easy peasy for the Best in the World to stay on top?
More NXT UK superstars wish us a Happy New Year!
THE NXT UK Champion, Ilja Dragunov, wishes everyone the very best and С новым годом (S novym godom), aka Happy New Year in Russian. Oliver Carter is ready to show why he and Ashton are “the freshest flavor on the brand and the hottest tag team under the sun.” Rohan Raja says, “What is Rohan Raja’s New Year’s resolution?” Well in 2021, Die Familie destroyed Gallus, so in 2022, they’re going to destroy the whole roster! Sam Gradwell says he has some resolutions: he vows to become a master of the paranormal and a certified exorcist so there won’t be any demons running around; and he vows to rattle ya jowls, wobble ya kidneys, and become top of the NXT UK roster. So Happy New Year, and don’t be a yogurt.
Nathan Frazer supposes his resolution is to take that next step. He won’t just be another guy on the roster, he will be THE guy. He knows he can do it, so he’ll do it. And Amale wishes us a Happy New Year, and that all our dreams come true.
Pretty Deadly returns!
The special continues, and this is the only show not hosted this year by James Gordon. Good one, Sam. But this will be the last of them for today as they move on to THE NXT UK Championship. This year started with the dominant reign of Walter! A video tribute plays to Walter’s reign, but also notes the Triple Threat that eventually led to his TakeOver 36 challenger.
Triple Threat: Joe Coffey VS Rampage Brown VS Ilja Dragunov!
Each man in this main event have faced the Ring General, Walter, in the past. Each man has proven their merit, as well as their toughness and aggression, time and time again. But now, all three will collide in one match! Who will prove they are the most fearsome, most violent, and perhaps most worthy of another round with the NXT UK Champion?
The bell rings and the three circle. Coffey and Rampage focus on each other in the stare down, but Dragunov cuts in with a shove. Coffey HEADBUTTS Dragunov but Rampage ROCKS Coffey! Rampage whips, Coffey whips him back, then back drops Rampage! Dragunov knees and CLUBS Coffey then fires off body shots in a corner. Coffey swings but into a waistlock. Coffey wrenches free, whips Dragunov but Dragunov elbows him away. Dragunov runs but into a pop-up EuroUpper! Coffey runs to EuroUpper Rampage in a corner, then runs corner to corner, into Dragunov’s BOOT! Rampage BOOTS Coffey down, then catches Dragunov’s leap into a SPINNING POWERSLAM!
Rampage goes back after Coffey with CHOPS! Rampage whips, Coffey reverses, clinch and OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Rampage gets to a corner. Dragunov JUMP KIJCKS Coffey! Dragunov KNEES Coffey in the corner, then hits a HALF HATCH SUPLEX! BT Sports Studio fires up as Rampage and Dragunov stare down now. Dragunov rushes in but into a scoop. Dragunov slips free, goes after an arm, but Rampage holds him off. Dragunov uses a leg to hook and roll Rampage, and then he throws down hammering elbows! Dragunov floats to a facelock but Rampage tosses him to Coffey! GERMAN SUPLEX! Coffey tells Rampage to finish this themselves!
The two behemoths ram shoulders again and again, but Rampage gets the edge and dropkicks Coffey down! Rampage runs in but Coffey TACKLES him to a corner! And then hits a SPINEBUSTER! Coffey has the legs and turns Rampage for a BOSTON CRAB! Rampage endures as Coffey shouts, “NO MERCY!” Dragunov gets back in and he throws forearms on Coffey! Coffey holds onto Rampage so Dragunov gives boxing elbows! And a CHOP! Coffey eggs Dragunov on so Dragunov runs to BOOT Coffey! Rampage gets free, Dragunov gets Coffey’s arm for a knuckle lock and he CHOPS away on Coffey’s neck and shoulders!
Coffey throws body shots back! Body shot for CHOP, back and forth! They ram shoulders, Rampage barges in but he gets DOUBLE CHOPS! Rampage comes back to DOUBLE LARIAT! BT Sports Studio is thunderous already as Rampage gets both men in facelocks! Both Dragunov and Coffey fight back but Rampage fights off the double suplexes to GIVE DOUBLE SUPLEXES! Rampage’s strength might be the most of all three, and he gets Coffey up. Coffey resists the Doctor Bomb but Rampage CLUBS him! Rampage tries again but Coffey back drops Rampage out of the ring! Coffey steadies himself, dodges Dragunov’s clothesline!
Coffey comes back but Dragunov hip tosses to a cover! ONE, but Dragunov keeps on with a chinlock. Coffey fights free, but Dragunov hits an URAKEN! Then Dragunov spins to CHOP Coffey’s leg! Dragunov pump handles Coffey for a GOTCH LIFT GERMAN!! Bridging cover, TWO!! Coffey narrowly escapes that perfect form but Dragunov stomps him down. Dragunov snarls and sputters as he goes to a corner but is side won’t let him climb. Dragunov STOMPS Coffey to keep him down, and he tries to climb again. Coffey UPPERCUTS him first! Coffey climbs, CLUBS Dragunov on the back, but Dragunov forearms back! Coffey stays up but Dragunov CHOPS him!
Rampage slips in as the other two brawl. Dragunov HEADBUTTS Coffey down, Rampage SAMOAN DROPS Coffey! Rampage sees Dragunov get up so he gets out of the way, SUPER BACK SENTON crashes down on Coffey! Rampage runs in but Dragunov goes Matrix to PELE Rampage! Coffey gets Dragunov’s leg, Rampage hauls Dragunov up, Rampage SPINEBUSTERS Dragunov onto Coffey! Coffey writhes but Rampage covers him, TWO!! Coffey survives and BT Sports Studio rallies back up. Coffey drags Dragunov up to ROCK him with a right! Dragunov CHOPS back! Rampage CHOPS Dragunov off his feet! But Dragunov gets up to egg him on! Rampage DECKS Dragunov!
Rampage drags Dragunov up but Dragunov fires off point-blank lariats! Rampage DECKS Dragunov again! Rampage swings, Dragunov blocks, runs and fires off clotheslines! Rampage SUPERKICKS?! Rampage whips but Dragunov tiger feints for the CONSTANTINE SPECIAL! Rampage falls and BT Sports Studio fires up again! Dragunov sees Coffey’s Spear coming and KNEES him down! Dragunov’s berserker rage is boiling back up! Rampage staggers up, Dragunov is up top and he leaps for a COAST2COAST MISSILE DROPKICK! “GALLUS BOYS ON TOP!!” GLASGOW SENDOFF sends Dragunov into Rampage!
Rampage falls out of the ring, and Dragunov flops out after. Dragunov goes after Rampage, they brawl, but Coffey goes up and up and CROSSBODIES onto them!! Dragunov and Rampage are down but Coffey is up first. Coffey puts Dragunov in, gets up the steps, and then up top again! Coffey leaps to SHOTGUN MISSILE DROPKICK! But he has to crawl to the cover, TWO!! Both Coffey and Dragunov are down but the BT Sports Studio rallies up. Coffey stands to throw hands on Dragunov. Dragunov ENZIGURIS back! Dragunov writhes from landing hard, bot he and Coffey just glare at each other. They go forehead to forehead, then fire forearm after forearm!
Coffey ROCKS Dragunov but he stays up! ALL THE BEST- NO! Dragunov JUMP KICKS Coffey! But Coffey stays up to rebound and EUROUPPER! Dragunov tumbles and sits up in a daze. Coffey is up on the opposite end and BT Sports Studio is electric as the two fire up! Dragunov runs in, but Torpedo Moscow gets ALL THE BEST FOR THE BELLS! Coffey wants a leg but Rampage POUNCES Coffey and himself right out of the ring! Coffey and Rampage ram each other again! And fire off forearms! Coffey BOOTS, Rampage SPINNING POWERSLAMS!! Coffey writhes on the ground, Rampage gets into the ring.
Rampage grins as he has Dragunov alone now. Dragunov slumps over from the pain in his side, but Rampage gets him back up. Dragunov fires off KNEES into Rampage! Step over KNEE, then an ENZIGURI! Rampage staggers about, comes back, but into a SPIENBUSTER! Dragunov rains down furious forearms, then gets Rampage in a waistlock for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Dragunov holds on! Rampages with headlock punches, but Dragunov still gets the second GERMAN SUPLEX! And again Dragunov holds on! Rampage RAMS Dragunov into buckles, but Dragunov hops on to rain down elbows! Coffey slides in, adds on, but Rampage holds ropes!
Rampage elbows Dragunov, switches to get Coffey, DOUBLE GERMAN SUPLEX! Dragunov flops all the way to the apron, and Coffey flounders to a corner! Rampage staggers to an opposite corner as BT Sports Studio says, “This is Awesome!” Rampage runs corner to corner, Coffey dodges and the boot hits buckles! Rampage is stuck, Coffey Electric Chair lifts! Coffey hits an ELECTRIC CHAIR SLAM!! But he can’t make the cover! Coffey slowly rises, Rampage gets up and then Dragunov. ALL THE BEST to Rampage WHILE Dragunov hits Coffey with TORPEDO MOSCOW!! That actually saves Rampage from the worst of Coffey’s attack!
Rampage gets Coffey up and gut wrenches for the DOCTOR BOMB!! Cover, Dragunov breaks it in time! Rampage clamps onto Dragunov, reels him in and gut wrenches, but Dragunov slips free! Dragunov dodges a clothesline to go up a corner, FLYING TORPEDO MOSCOW?!? Cover, DRAGUNOV WINS!!
Winner: Ilja Dragunov, by pinfall
Udivitel’nyy! Russian for amazing, because that reckless, relentless Russian IS amazing! UNBESIEGBAR bests two of the toughest men in the brand, and wait! WALTER is here! Dragunov doesn’t realize it until Walter stands in the ring with him. The NXT UK Champion holds up his belt and wonders if he wants it. Dragunov stands up, and Walter SLAPS him right back down!! Walter stands over Dragunov, and puts him in a SLEEPER!! Walter swings Dragunov up and then drags him right back down to put him out! The Ring General smothers Dragunov but makes him look at the belt. Walter vows he will always be champion, has this preemptive strike made sure of that?
Pretty Deadly reacts.
“What we witnessed there, was what everybody thought was the end of Ilja Dragunov.” Sam Stoker falls back and Lewis Howley says it was not the end! There was a fire lit inside the Czar and he rose from the ashes! Stoker stands back up to note that that moment led to a more dominant Ilja Dragunov, and he was truly UNBESIEGBAR. NXT TakeOver 36, August of 2021, truly a battle for the ages! And in a truly historical moment, Dragunov dethroned the Ring General! And now, The Czar has the Irish Ace coming for him. Jordan Devlin wants to end Dragunov’s reign already, but does he have the grit to stop the man who stopped Walter?
More superstars wish us a Happy New Year.
Kenny Williams says 2022 will go just as 2021: everyone ending up under the boot of the Scum of the Earth! Sha Samuels says, “Oi, oi! What a year, 2021!” Sha makes his NXT UK debut, Noam Dar wins the Heritage Cup, how could it get any better? Sha will tell us how! The odds say 2022 is gonna be an even bigger one. “Happy New Year, mugs. Have a good one. EAST~!” And Xia Brookside says, “You wanna know my New Year’s Resolution? I can’t tell you, because then it won’t come true! Ugh.” Wolfgang says, “New Year, new year. All the best for the bells.”
Eddie Dennis says he’d rather forget 2021, because you’re only as good as your last performance. But all it’ll take is Symbiosis running through Smith & Carter and they’re just a match from getting another dig at Moustache Mountain. He and Trent have a storied history, and Dennis can’t think of a better final chapter than HIS Symbiosis ending this fairy tale of a title reign! Nina Samuels hopes 2022 brings the fans everything they need, because we all know the world needs more Nina.
Pretty Deadly wrap this up.
The dandy highwaymen enjoyed seeing those resolutions and wishes from their fellow superstars, but Sam points out everyone is just hoping for their own fairy tale endings. This isn’t High School Musical, or even High School Musical 2. It’s not even High School Musical 3: Senior Year, or the episodic series, High School Musical: The Musical! But hey, they’re soaring, they’re flying, and we’re all in this together. So thank them, Pretty Deadly, for making this and every episode of NXT UK truly unmissable. Cheers!
A really good NXT UK recap episode, though it seems rather odd that they played the Triple Threat match rather than an actual NXT UK title match. But I suppose they already encored Walter VS Dragunov II some time ago so it’d be redundant to do it here. But seeing Gallus VS Pretty Deadly again was a great choice. All good stuff, and we’re jumping right into great stuff next week with the women’s title match and the start of the short tag team tournament.
My Score: 8/10
NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.187 ~ 29TH SEPTEMBER 2022
Keiji Mutoh continues his Retirement tour and bringing out faces from the past! NOAH has a new champion! Interesting inter-promotional battles on the horizon as well!
Kaito Kiyomiya is the new GHC Heavyweight Champion, nominates Kazuyuki Fujita as challenger
Following provocation by Kenoh not only saying that he was going to be the one to inherit Keiji Mutoh’s Shining Wizard and the memory of Keiji Mutoh himself (and the outright claim that Kiyomiya would simply forget about Mutoh once Mutoh had retired, which Kiyomiya didn’t even bother responding to), Kenoh went one step further at their last pre match on the 19th September by pulling Keiji Mutoh’s pose, kissing his hand, putting it to Kiyomiya’s lips and then exploding it. Kiyomiya erupted in fury at this, it was far more than any verbal provocation of Kenoh’s, which I guess he has learned to ignore over the years. They fought for the GHC Heavyweight in Nagoya on September 25th, with Kiyomiya emerging victorious following a modified Shining Wizard. As Kenoh left it was like a spell was broken. Kenoh went backstage and muttered about Kiyomiya being the company favorite and in his interview the day after winning the title, Kiyomiya said nothing about Keiji Mutoh. Mutoh as we know had been a focus of both Kiyomiya and Kenoh leading up to the title match.
Back in the ring, Kiyomiya called out his next opponent. Kazuyuki Fujita. Fujita came to the ring, carrying a can of beer which he swigged from. Getting in the ring he circled Kiyomiya and took off his t-shirt. Kiyomiya said that he was expecting a fight, but Fujita did something that no other NOAH wrestler had (or perhaps would) do, and that was to throw himself at Kiyomiya and then make nuzzling motions against his head, while he licked the belt. Kiyomiya pushed him off, and Fujita retaliated by pouring beer over his head.
Kiyomiya screaming that he hated beer was met with Fujita toasting him from the ramp and yelling “Kampaiii” (“cheers”) after a fight had broken out, and Kiyomiya threw him from the ring.
Backstage, Kiyomiya said his reason for nominating Kazuyuki Fujita as his challenger was that he had never been defeated for the GHC Heavyweight. Fujita had to give up the belt due to Coronavirus. It has been a recurring theme of most of the GHC Heavyweight champions since Go Shiozaki, that Fujita has been the man to beat in order to cement yourself as champion. Kiyomiya was picking up that torch.
As for Fujita, he played it as if he was a Casanova and had been asked out on a date by warning Kiyomiya that when you experience Fujita, you can never go back because you were never going to be the same. He was going to “make it a night to remember”. He sipped his beer, and licked his lips afterwards.
Title match has been set for NOAH’s return to Ariake on the 30th October.
STINGER lose, NOAH Junior Regulars win, enter Tadasuke (with a chair)
Following a period of brutal attacks on Seiki Yoshioka (by the end of the match he could hardly use one side of his body) and a title challenge where Atsushi Kotoge was bloodied up, The NOAH Junior Regulars emerged victorious and bought the tag titles home to their unit. They had very little time to celebrate their win and put ice on their wounds, when Tadasuke burst in and attacked Atsushi Kotoge with a chair while Hi69 beat up on the already incapacitated Seiki Yoshioka. Tadasuke (wild grin on his face) got on the microphone and made a challenge for the tag titles. Then Tadasuke wiped the blood from Kotoge that had got on his hands on his hair, leaving red streaks in the peroxide. Tadasuke was even waving the bloodied seat of the chair, which had detached during the attack, around backstage.
Title match will be on the 30th October when NOAH return to the Ariake complex.
Takashi Sugiura and Satoshi Kojima, NOAH’s most dysfunctional tag team, win the GHC Heavyweight tag titles
It must be said that with the combined efforts of Satoshi Kojima and Hideki Suzuki, we almost have our Sugi back.
At the press conference/title match signing, Sugi and Kojima appeared dressed in suits and wearing dark glasses. They looked something between The Men In Black and “Dangerous Detectives” (as Tokyo Sports called them which stems from a Japanese TV show). Hideki Suzuki was on form, not only mistranslating Timothy Thatcher and stating at one point that Thatcher said he came to Japan to “beat you up” and being rude to a journalist for being overfamiliar with his “punk mouth”, the highlight of the press conference was his long close up stare at Sugi, who was trying not to laugh.
The dysfunctional team won the titles in Nagoya on the 25th September, and despite their falling out during the match, Sugi actually gave Kojima a proper handshake. Then they went back to squabbling backstage over Kojima talking on the mic when it was Sugi who got the win. No challengers have come forward as of yet.
HAYATA retains the GHC Junior, Ninja Mack makes his long awaited challenge
It had been an emotional match for YO-HEY, and for fans. Cutting out the aerial techniques that had characterized their earlier matches, both he and HAYATA demonstrated how much they had both evolved by concentrating on a more NOAH based ground attack with submissions. YO-HEY might have failed in the challenge, but he had at least gotten one win over HAYATA in the pre-match. He knew the title match would be different and he would need to level up, and afterwards he reflected and said he would start from rock bottom in order to make his next challenge. What fans had noticed that while things had changed between them, some things were the same, such as YO-HEY coloring his hair, his tongue (and even his boxer shorts) purple, which is HAYATA’s color, and HAYATA not speaking as much as he has done in previous title challenges, as he is content to let YO-HEY talk. After the match, Ninja Mack came to challenge. HAYATA accepted by saying, that he was “finally interested in the belt” and acknowledging him as challenger. Title match will of course be on the 30th October. But HAYATA is not immediately going into a fallout match with Ninja Mack at NOAH’s next event on the 30th, but is having a tag match against YO-HEY.
Keiji Mutoh’s Retirement Road
Keiji Mutoh has been very busy.
– 23rd September: Great Muta appears in AEW
The Great Muta made a surprise appearance in AEW to rescue Sting, who had been tied to a chair by Darby Allen. Muta came to the ring, advanced on Sting and then turned and spat green mist into the face of Allen and then reunited with Sting. Keiji Mutoh announced that Sting would attend Muta’s retirement on the 22nd in Yokohama, but has not said in what capacity, although it is assumed that they will tag. Regarding any further appearances in America, Mutoh said he didn’t think it was likely, but did warn that The Great Muta may pop up somewhere as you never knew where he would turn up next.
– 25th September: Keiji Mutoh Retirement Road: Love Forever 2
Keiji Mutoh teamed with his junior Kazuyuki Fujita to take on Mutoh’s classmate, Masakatsu Funaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima, who Mutoh has known since he was a boy, and still calls affectionately “Katsuhiko”. Nakajima said he was going to break up this class reunion, and while Mutoh did get kicked (Nakajima smirked and said it was fun when Mutoh later complained his leg still hurt) but it was Fujita who got the worst of it. During the match, Nakajima pulled out Mutoh’s Space Rolling Elbow. Mutoh was initially not pleased, but then he became very happy to see it and said that he thought that “Katsuhiko” did it because he had some small measure of feeling for him. I think had Nakajima been a more acrobatic wrestler, Mutoh might have handed it to him. Mutoh won the match with The Shining Wizard, pinning Nakajima. This was Mutoh’s farewell to Nagoya, his classmate, his junior and Nakajima.
– 26th September: Hiroshi Tanahashi comes to the press conference and a tag match is announced
Hiroshi Tanahashi presented 38 roses to Mutoh when he came to the press conference. Each rose symbolizes a year of Mutoh’s career. Mutoh joked that he should have laid them at his feet, as had happened in boxing recently. Tanahashi said he wasn’t good at ad-libbing, and then introduced himself as “one of the greatest New Japan talents in the past one hundred years”. During the press conference, a tag match was announced. New Japan’s Hiroshi Tanahashi, Togi Makabe and Honma Tomoaki will team together against the team of Naomichi Marufuji, Keiji Mutoh and Keiji Mutoh. This will take place on the 30th October. Mutoh has not given up hope of appearing one final time in the New Japan ring.
– 16th October: A new match is announced
NOAH announced that due to fan demand, Keiji Mutoh will be appearing in Fukuoka. He will tag with Ninja Mack and Satoshi Kojima against Naomichi Marufuji, HAYATA and Jack Morris. Satoshi Kojima is of course connected to Mutoh through All Japan and New Japan, Naomichi Marufuji has wanted a match against Mutoh (he will be tagging with him as we know on the 30th October) and HAYATA has been a big fan of Mutoh for a while, as he has influenced a lot of his style and persona. HAYATA thinks of himself and The Great Muta as “The Phantom Team”. Muta doesn’t like to speak and HAYATA said, neither does he.
Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima head overseas
Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima will appear for Evolution Pro Wrestling in New York for their anniversary show on November 12th. Marufuji’s match is yet to be announced, but Nakajima will take on Josh Alexander. Alexander has said he wonders how Nakajima is going to kick after he snaps his ankle. They will also appear at King of Indies in San Francisco on November 19th.
NOSAWA vs Katsuhiko Nakajima (and Kenoh)
After being beaten up by Katsuhiko Nakajima who gave him some pretty stiff soccerball kicks outside the ring at Korakuen Hall recently, (although he would tell you that Nakajima tried to beat him up), NOSAWA Rongai has been on a quest to face Nakajima in a match. Then he threw in Kenoh, so it could be himself and Eita versus Kongoh. Hideki Suzuki told him that he was probably going to die, but NOSAWA has taken no notice and kept on with his demand. His demand has not been met because rather than facing Nakajima and Kenoh, NOAH have booked him against rookies Yasutaka Yano and Kai Fujimura. NOSAWA thinks he is having to go through some kind of trial.
ELSEWHERE IN NOAH
– Hideki Suzuki has hinted that perhaps Takashi Sugiura might like to get back online.
– Yoshiki Inamura and YO-HEY continued their guild, despite the fact that YO-HEY said someone attacked and burned their castle down. A picture was taken of YO-HEY and Inamura playing the game, with YO-HEY seated cross legged on Inamura, who was doing a bridge in the ring. We have seen Inamura used as a weight, but is he now used as furniture?
– NOAH’s Director, Narihiro Takeda, wrote on a NOAH Note that he would like for Darby Allin to come to NOAH one day.
– Tadasuke got a match thrown out by ripping off Alejandro’s mask. Tadasuke did not care, and did not even respond when Alejandro asked if he wanted a mask for himself?
– Daiki Inaba had his long awaited singles match with Katsuhiko Nakajima, but failed to revenge himself for Nakajima’s behavior in W-1. Nakajima even went for the cocky pin by grinning and leaning on Inaba.
– There was usual chaos at the NOAH Junior Space sessions as Daisuke Harada is not there to take control. Atsushi Kotoge seems to be the main culprit, forgetting to invite Seiki Yoshioka in and at one time even failing to press record.
– It’s probably best that Daiki Inaba, who apparently likes to be in the nip backstage, was not present when NOAH was at Differ. It was bad enough that Sugi used to wander around naked…
– Mitsuharu Misawa wrote in a diary entry for 2006 about filming an advert for THE LEAVE, and having to sing first thing in the morning while they were filming. Probably due to the fact that he had a problem with his throat anyway, was a heavy smoker and had taken “so many chops and kicks” to it in his career, he said he sounded very hoarse.
EVENT RECAPS AND POST MATCH PROMOS
SUNNY VOYAGE – September 19th
N-INNOVATION – September 21st
GRAND SHIP 2022 IN NAGOYA/KEIJI MUTOH RETIREMENT ROAD – September 25th
- GHC Heavyweight Champion: Kaito Kiyomiya
Challenger: Kazuyuki Fujita, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
- GHC Junior Champion: HAYATA
Challenger: Ninja Mack, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
- GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: KojiSugi (Satoshi Kojima & Takashi Sugiura)
- GHC Junior Tag Champions: The NOAH Junior Regulars (Atsushi Kotoge & Seiki Yoshioka)
Challengers: Kongoh Juniors (Tadasuke & Hi69), [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
- GHC National Champion: Masakatsu Funaki
Challenger: Masa Kitamiya, SUNNY VOYAGE 2022 – Friday September 30th (Bandaijima Multi-Purpose Square Ogama)
(This event will not be broadcast live, but hopefully this match will be shown via Instagram)
THIS WEEK IN NOAH
– Friday, October 7th
STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo
Time: 18:30 JST
Broadcast: WrestleUniverse/ABEMA (live)
– Saturday, October 8th
STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo
Time: 18:30 JST
Broadcast: WrestleUniverse (live)
Note about broadcasts
Unless you are living in Japan or have a VPN you know is compatible with ABEMA, please do not subscribe to the service. For fans living outside of Japan, a subscription to WrestleUniverse would be better as they show more NOAH shows than ABEMA, and usually the events get uploaded very quickly. ABEMA broadcasts are only in Japanese, you can only watch them live, and this is the only NOAH they show. They do not broadcast old shows as these belong to Samurai TV.
BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES
Wednesday, 5th October: Keiji Mutoh debut anniversary (38)
Wednesday, 5th October: Seiki Yoshioka debut anniversary (14)
“Taka & Satoshi” reveal a “dangerous detective” look, mischievous Suzuki is a reckless interpreter, the GHC tag signing ceremony is thrown into chaos by bizarre question and answer between the two teams
With thanks to: Metal NOAH
GIF taken from WrestleUniverse & NOAH Official YouTube
Picture credit: YO-HEY & NOAH.co.jp
Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 9.29.2022
Bound for Glory is 8 days away, but Victory Road just happened. What kind of show do we get with some fallout and penultimate hype?
Victory Road just happened, but Bound for Glory is like 8 nights away? You know I forgot that it was such a quick turn around. That makes tonight weird, since there’s some fallout, but then there’s gonna be a lot of table setting for Bound for Glory.
This episode could be awful. The last week or so haven’t exactly set the world afire, so I’m curious if the highlight really is just gonna be the Monster’s Ball with Masha and Allie Katch.
*insert joke about possibly gagging and balls and Swinger’s Dungeon*
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) September 30, 2022
- Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid: Bullet Club win via Finesse & Fold – **
- IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve: Myers retains via Roster Cut – ** 1/2
- Delirious vs Black Taurus: Black Taurus wins via Destination Hellhole – ** 1/4
- PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath: Rich wins via Phoenix Splash – ** 1/4
- Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – *** 1/2
Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid
I don’t think I could care less about this match if I tried. Trey and Laredo are worthless. Laredo has eaten so many terrible losses and Trey is just bad. If the BC Juniors don’t win…I will really question the booking.
My biggest takeaway early is the commentary tries to put over Trey “turning heads”. No he doesn’t, he is legitimately hard to watch and everything that Will Ospreay did wrong in his early career; is basically Trey, but with less personality. Oh did you expect play by play? They isolate Laredo, decent tandem attacks, when Trey comes in it’s bad offense typical Cruiser garbage with laughable facials and body language.
Just typical crap with Trey. Were there some cool high spots? Sure. Do I care? NOPE.
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) September 30, 2022
IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve
Steve starts with some of his quirky mat wrestling, Arm Wringers into Drop Toe Holds and face biting. It shocked Myers early, but he takes a small shortcut and starts trying to slow down the psycho from Decay. Steve bounces off the ropes and Myers does his sliding trip move before commercial.
Back from commercial, Snapmare from Steve and the neck twister into some corner offense of Hip Attacks and Sentons for 2. Myers dodges King Kill 33, lands a few pot shots, Implant DDT for 2. Into the corner, face bite, Upside Down, after the rope break Myers grabs the referee to block Steve. Eye Poke, Roster Cut, AND STILL…
Simple, but entertaining. Plus it continues Myers’ arrogant, full of himself for absolutely no reason persona. Oh and he offers up an Open Challenge for Bound for Glory. Maybe Bobby Fish? Someone new? Could be interesting.
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) September 30, 2022
Delirious vs Black Taurus
Delirious is between gibberish and Stone Cold early on while they’re just trading shots. Delirious twists the Nose Ring…in the mask…and Taurus sells it momentarily before stomping the foot and decking him. This is just a weird match. I mean we all know Delirious is weird, but he’s not all comedy; and Taurus is supposed to be legit-ish.
Admittedly, with the exception of Victory Road, it has been years since I’ve watched a Delirious match. So the level of ridiculousness has hit Toru Yano levels, especially after the 10 count Leg Drops. Taurus powders, comes back in, Shoulder Tackle, Blackhole Backbreaker into a Samoan Drop. As soon as Taurus looks in charge, Delirious throws together a combo, eats a Headbutt and then Destination Hellhole.
Sheesh okay after 2 interview segments we get to Honor No More’s victory celebration segment. Just a lot of talking and inaction, so this just goes to feed that weird feeling I had coming into the show because of the timing. Eddie does the usual thing where hates on PCO and accuses him of being the weak link, which is a smart story angle since the fans tend to like PCO’s gimmick and this makes him more sympathetic to casual observers.
Oh good Taven is talking now. Wait did I just say that? DAMN YOU IMPACT! Made me like Matt Taven. Maria stirs the pot a little saying that Eddie is a better wrestler than Josh and Moose…by the implications.
Thank God, Josh Alexander finally breaks up the segment with…more talking. Okay never mind. Jesus since the end of the Delirious match it was like 15 minutes before Josh finally charged the ring and threw down a bit with Honor No More. Rich Swann and Heath make a bit of the babyface save for Josh, but the numbers are still on Honor No More’s side. Oh MCMG come down in a tracksuit and dress clothes! Someone wasn’t ready to be doing a run in.
PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath
Well isn’t that convenient that four of the men in the donnybrook were supposed to be in a match anyway.
Rich uses his quickness to try and stay ahead of PCO, but PCO cuts him off in the corner into the Corner Hung Codebreaker, then the leaned against the ropes Leg Drop thing. Vincent throws together a T-Bone Suplex into a Flatliner and keeps the vibes flowing on Rich Swann.
PCO clears out Heath, but PCO’s hand gets stuck in the ropes. Vincent eats a flip kick and the Phoenix Splash while PCO and Heath are brawling on the outside after the rope issue with PCO.
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) September 30, 2022
Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch
Haymakers and Headbutts start things off as they both hit the ropes and lay out one another with dual clotheslines. Trash can lid duel, Masha gets first contact, but Allie blocks and returns 3 shots. German Suplex from Masha into whipping her with a chain, some choking and then general pulling with the chain in Katch’s mouth or around her eyes. Katch claws at Masha’s eyes to try and get some space.
Headbutts and Biting from Masha as Allie tries to power out of a Bow and Arrow. More chain choking…I’m not sure if this is a wrestling match or BDSM prep at the moment. Ahh Masha needs more Cowbell but Allie cuts her off with a trash can lid. Allie tries a Piledriver through a door, but Masha turns it into an Air Raid Crash into the opposite corner.
Commercial break, and Allie is getting choked again. Spots get a little redundant, slams, chokes, and blood. OHHH – it’s a “Use the Door” chant. I thought it was – nah – I won’t say what I thought it was. Chairshot from Masha misses, but a Snap Suplex from Masha onto the chair gets some usefulness. Straight Right to the gut and an Axe Kick allows Masha to hit the Death Valley Driver onto the propped up chair. Masha goes back to biting after it was only 2. Allie cuts off Masha going to the top, Superplex onto the trash can lid, into a Death Valley Driver through the door – but Masha kicks out.
Allie tries a Piledriver on the apron a few times, but Masha blocks. Masha tries for the Release German to the floor but Allie holds on. Dazed strikes, bites and then a Russian Leg Sweep through the table lays both out for a short time. Masha grabs a black bag, it’s gotta be tacks for Monster’s Ball. Masha eats a few tacks for good show, picks up Allie but Allie fights. Piledriver into the tacks from Allie, only 2. Allie opens a trash can, and empties a bunch of cut up soda cans. Hits Masha with the can, Masha fires, Spinning Heel Kick and then Russian Death Device into the pile of tacks and cans.
Overall Score: 6.25/10
The main event was pretty good, maybe even a little better than I gave it credit for; I’m just sick of seeing some crazy hardcore match so often from Impact. It feels like its weekly, and that’s too damn much. Trey is terrible, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. He sells poorly, he doesn’t tell a story with his wrestling and he looks like an idiot pretending to be something he isn’t; and that’s talented.
Myers is fine with his classic delusional heel style, Delirious gave a bit of a rub to Taurus so I’m guessing he’s probably next up in the X Division. But a straight 15 minutes of interviews and talking is just too damn much especially when the surrounding wrestling isn’t very good or hearty enough to help people tolerate talking time.
I do however love Joe Hendry. So…yeah. There’s always some quirky gimmicks that just resonate well with me, and this is gorgeous.
All in all, decent enough; though next week could be a real banger of a Go Home.
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