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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (12/20/21)

Another All Mighty Monday!

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Coverage Raw 2021

Day 1 draws ever closer!

The WWE World Championship match has only gotten bigger, and the All Mighty Bobby Lashley looks to gloat about it on tonight’s Raw!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Bianca Belair VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven; Belair wins.
  • Finn Balor VS Austin Theory; Balor wins.
  • Rey & Dominik Mysterio VS AJ Styles & Omos; The Mysterios win.
  • Randy Orton VS Chad Gable w/ Otis; Orton wins.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Blinded by the Christmas Lights: Dana Brooke retains the title.
  • WWE US Championship Contender’s Match: Damian Priest VS Dolph Ziggler w/ Robert Roode; Ziggler wins and will challenge Priest for the title.
  • Rhea Ripley VS Zelina Vega; Rhea wins.
  • Seth Rollins & Kevin Owens VS Big E & Bobby Lashley; Rollins & Kevin win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Bobby Lashley heads to the ring!

The Rocky Mountain Machine has MVP right behind him, and he’s here, now the fourth man in the WWE Championship match for WWE Day 1 in Atlanta! Lashley and MVP get mics as fans are torn between cheering and jeering. MVP says, “Ladies and gentlemen, Bobby Lashley is in the building! So get on your feet and give praise to the All Might!” They should, considering what Lashley did last week. He did what some people, something even the most extraordinary people would say is impossible. In one night, Lashley beat Kevin Owens, Seth Rollins and WWE Champion, Big E!

MVP knows these people aren’t athletes so they wouldn’t understand the Herculean task that was! Lashley makes the impossible routine! This was tantamount to running the Boston Marathon, winning it, going to the NBA Finals and winning it, then going five rounds in boxing. But this is what MVP really wants us to consider: Now that Bobby Lashley has been added to the Day 1 PPV, no one can disrespect him again, he shows you what happens! We must acknowledge that- Big E is here! THE WWE Champion struts his way to the ring and gets a mic to respond. “Hats off and cheese curds to you.” Lashley did everything he said he would: he beat all three men to make Day 1 into a Fatal 4!

But there’s something that sticks in Big E’s craw. The Lashley Big E knows is strong, dominant, has a lot of sisters, but… When it comes to getting it done in the ring, he does it all on his own! Which is why Big E is so surprised that Iceberg Slim had to crack Big E in the leg with the cane! So Big E thought, “Maybe Bobby Lashley doesn’t quite have the plums, the cajones, that I thought he did.” Lashley says he would’ve beaten Big E anyway. He didn’t need help from anyone. MVP did that on his own. Lashley didn’t need MVP’s help with Seth Rollins or Kevin Owens, and he didn’t need it to beat “Little E” here.

Lashley is no saint. You take MVP out, Lashley will take Big E out and take the victory. But people are questioning if Lashley could’ve won on his own. Before that match last week, MVP said that if Lashley couldn’t beat Big E, MVP would. Now, Lashley is thinking MVP believes that. So in the spirit of competition, let’s see if MVP can! MVP is a two-time US Champion and has the cane, so Lashley’s going to stand on the outside, and in “the spirit of competition,” let’s see if it’s true. Lashley is leaving MVP alone in the ring with Big E! Big E takes off his jacket and belt, MVP chokes up on the cane, but then Rollins and Kevin attack Lashley outta nowhere!

Lashley gets up, but they POST him! MVP goes out, as does Big E! Big E fights Kevin and Rollins, MVP checks on Lashley! The 2v1 wins out and Rollins and Kevin double whip Big E into barriers! Then they go after Lashley again in the ring! Kevin sits Lashley up for Rollins, Rollins runs in, into BIG E! Big E then gets Kevin for an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Lashley gives Rollins the DOMINATOR! Rollins and Kevin retreat, and surprisingly, Big E and Lashley are standing tall together! But does this mean for Day 1 and the world title?

 

Backstage interview with Bianca Belair.

She and Piper Niven have reached the “final chapter,” but it’s more like a story of bitterness and envy. Bianca’s stayed in her lane but Piper tries to take her frustrations out on her. Doudrop has to admit that Bianca is the EST of the WWE. This is the last match for Piper to learn that no matter what, she can’t take Bianca out. And this chapter ends like all the others: Bianca’s hand held high as the UN-DE-NI-A-BLE winner.

 

Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens talk backstage.

They got Lashley but it wasn’t enough. They have to get him out of this match! He’s too strong, he’s not normal! He’s somehow getting younger like a jacked Benjamin Button! Rollins agrees but he wants Kevin to shut up so he can think! Sonya Deville & Adam Pearce walk over, and Rollins immediately says it was all Kevin’s idea. Well, they don’t care, because here’s their idea. The Fatal 4 Way? Th-They love it! No, not that. It’ll be the most intriguing tag match on Raw! It’ll be a tag team match of Kevin Owens & Seth Rollins VS Big E & Bobby Lashley! A great idea, right? Right? Okay, see you there. What about an alternative? Nope.

Rollins says this is Kevin’s fault for being too loud. Rollins goes off to think but Kevin wants him to stay so they can talk strategy.

 

Bianca Belair VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven!

The EST has won twice already, once by count-out and then with a 1-2-3. Will the third time be the charm and finally end the series? Or will Doudrop have the last word on their story?

Raw returns as Piper makes her entrance. The bell rings and Bianca shoves Piper. Piper shoves back, Bianca shoves again. Piper pie faces, Bianca ROCKS her with a right! Bianca wants the torture rack but Piper slips away and bails out! The fans boo, Bianca eggs Piper on. Piper gets on the apron, but catches Bianca to hotshot her! Piper gets in, Bianca dodges, rams a shoulder but Piper rebounds to run Bianca over! Piper stomps Bianca, CLUBS her down, then stalks her to a corner. Bianca hits back but Piper throws forearm after forearm. Piper stands Bianca up, then runs in to SPLASH! Fans rally for the EST but Piper drags her up.

Bianca throws body shots and forearms but Piper ROCKS her with one! Piper whips Bianca to a corner, Bianca goes up and over and handsprings to then dropkick Piper to the corner! Bianca kips up, RAMS her shoulder in, then runs in again. Piper puts her on the apron, blocks a haymaker but Bianca ROCKS her with a forearm! Bianca leaps but Piper catches her! POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Piper looms over Bianca, runs, SENTON FLOPS as Bianca moves! Bianca runs to handspring and SPLASH onto knees! Bianca bails out but Piper goes out after her. Piper drags Bianca up, Bianca throws body shots!

Piper shoves Bianca into apron, runs but Bianca sends her into the apron! SPINEBUSTER! Bianca is fired up and Piper is down as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Bianca is up top! But Piper hits ropes to trip her up! Piper CLUBS Bianca, climbs up to join her, but Bianca CLUBS away on Piper! Bianca sunset flips but Piper holds on! Piper DECKS Bianca with a punch, then jumps! But Piper lands on her butt as Bianca moves! Ghost pin, Piper rolls through and SPLASHES! Bianca sits down, Piper comes back to CANNONBALL! Cover, TWO! Piper is frustrated as Bianca survives. Piper hammers away on Bianca, then looms over her again. Piper drags Bianca up, TOSSES her to a corner, then takes her time walking over to drag Bianca up. Piper TOSSES Bianca again!

Fans rally for The EST but Piper slaps her in beat with the chant! Piper mocks the dance moves but Bianca SLAPS Piper right back! Piper bobs ‘n’ weaves and throws body shots and kicks, then a dropkick! Piper ends up in a corner, Bianca RAMS in! And again! Bianca whips corner to corner, but Piper reverses to reel Bianca in! Bianca slips off the scoop, goes up top and CROSSBODIES! Bianca springs back up and fans fire up as she hits the handspring MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Bianca is surprised but she follows Piper to a corner. Bianca RAMS into Piper again, then climbs up to rain down fists! Fans count to 5 but Piper brings Bianca out for a SIT-OUT POWERBOMB!

Piper can’t cover right away, but then she chooses not to! Piper drags Bianca over to a drop zone, then she climbs up the corner! Piper tells Bianca to kiss this, then VADER BOMB FLOPS as Bianca dodges again! Bianca hurries to bring Piper up to the torture rack! Fans are all fired up as she hits the KISS OF DEATH! Cover, Bianca wins again!!

Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall

One, two, three, easy as E S T! Bianca sweeps Piper and is surely undeniable now! Will this finally make Piper Doudrop the issue with Bianca?

 

Backstage interview with Austin Theory.

For whatever reason, it seems Vince McMahon has taken an interest in Theory. And Theory feels so lucky! And there’s a reason why. All the great selfies, and the promise Vince sees in Theory. And also, Vince sees Theory as the future WWE World Champion! How’s that sound? Great! YES! Theory is off to beat Finn Balor! Kevin Patrick says Theory better be careful he doesn’t lose.

Finn Balor VS Austin Theory!

The Prince is in no mood for being in Theory’s selfies, or being a stepping stone in Theory’s career. So tonight, Balor’s looking to teach Theory something Mr. McMahon hasn’t: respect! Will Theory learn his lesson or only get an even bigger ego?

Raw returns as Theory makes his entrance. The bell rings and Balor fires off on Theory! Balor stomps away, the ref counts, Balor lets off to whip then CLOBBER Theory with an elbow! Theory bails out, Balor goes out after him but Theory kicks low to bump him off the apron, then RAM him into it! Theory puts Balor in, but Balor trips Theory to rain down forearms! Theory gets up and bails out again but Balor has him at the apron. Theory hotshots Balor then CLOBBERS him from behind! Theory rains down fists from all sides then stomps Balor down! Then again! Cover, TWO! Balor gets up but Theory is on him in the corner with clotheslines!

Theory snapmares Balor, wraps on a chinlock and he grinds Balor down. Balor endures, fights up, moves around, but Theory drags him back down. Fans rally, Theory says he’s the best, but Balor fights up. Balor pries free but Theory kicks low. Theory whips, Balor reveres, Theory sunset flips but Balor rolls through to basement dropkick! Balor then clotheslines Theory out of the ring! Balor goes to the apron to kick, but Theory blocks and trips Balor up! Balor hits the apron, Theory drags Balor out for a DRAPING NECKBREAKER! Theory looms over Balor as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Theory has another chinlock on Balor. Balor fights up, Theory cranks the hold and wrangles Balor back down. Balor fights up again, pries at the hold, turns around and JAWBREAKERS free! Theory kicks low, whips Balor to a corner, but Balor BOOTS! Balor elbows, whips, Theory reverses but Balor forearms Theory down! Balor then trips Theory to DOUBLE STOMP! Balor KICKS Theory to the ropes, then stomps away! The ref counts, Balor lets off, and Theory goes to the apron. Theory shoulders into Balor, somersaults and SHOTGUN dropkicks! Cover, TWO! Balor gets to a corner while Theory grows frustrated.

Theory stomps Balor and throws hands in the corner. The ref counts, Theory lets off at 4 but runs into buckles! Balor GAMANGIRIS Theory down then goes up top! Fans fire up, but Theory trips Balor up! Theory then LEAPS up, ARABIAN PRESS SPANISH FLY! Theory takes time to get his phone, selfie cover! TWO and Balor has the cradle! TWO, Theory gets Balor up! Balor slips out, ELBOW DROP DDT! Balor takes aim, SHOTGUN dropkick sends Theory into buckles! Theory flops down. Balor goes up top, COUP DE GRACE!! Cover, Balor wins!

Winner: Finn Balor, by pinfall

That’s what Theory gets for thinking the future was already here! His ego cost him, will Vince McMahon have something to say about this?

 

The Miz is backstage.

He and Omos just talked about something, and Miz TV is going to be great this time! AJ Styles walks over and asks what they’re talking about. Oh, just a very revealing conversation. See you guys in the ring. Styles doesn’t worry about that, he and Omos are gonna have a great night! They’ll let Miz do his song and dance, they beat up the Mysterios, and then after New Year’s, they’re back in the title picture! Sound good? Sounds great. Omos pats Styles on the shoulder pretty hard. Is this going to go as phenomenally as Styles thinks?

 

Raw returns with Miz TV.

Miz is in the ring and wants to address the controversy surrounding himself and his wife. To his “beautiful, loving, understanding wife,” Miz loves her. If Maryse loves the family, she will not talk about their relationship on The cutting Edge. Then Miz welcomes us to the Most Must-See Talk Show in WWE history, and his guests are “more combustible than Urban Meyer and his former coaching staff.” Miz wants everyone to welcome AJ Styles & Omos! Styles & Omos make their entrance, and Miz welcomes them and thanks them for being here. But then Omos chucks a chair because he prefers standing.

Miz says these two have been dominant and are former Raw Tag Team Champions, but lately, it’s just obvious that they’ve been out of synch. Styles says, “Kinda like you and your wife, huh?” This isn’t about Miz and his wife, this is about Styles & Omos. People are asking, “Has the magic left?” Well, has it? No, it’s called growing pains. Miz should know all about that. Styles meant what he said last week: When he and Omos are on the same page, they are unstoppable! See, Styles sees Omos’ untapped potential, he knew he had to take Omos under his wing. Omos has made great strides. He could be a tag team champion on his own!

Now, they went off the rails a bit, but it happens. They’re back on the same page and Styles is proud of the team. They’re seeing eye to eye. So they should just clean house in the WWE! They can take all the titles! What does Omos say to that? Miz cuts Omos off by saying that was so sincere. But what if Miz told Styles he’s heard otherwise. Yeah, right. From who? Who doyou think? The man closest to the situation, Omos himself! Oh Styles sees what this is! Miz TV, Miz deflects. Styles wants to ask Miz something: “What kind of man puts the mother of his children in harm’s way?” See, now Styles is deflecting.

If Styles had an actual conversation with his own personal colossus, he’d know these things! Miz was shocked when Omos confided in him! And more shocked at what Omos said. You wanna know what Omos said? Omos is sick and tired of carrying Styles! And that was just the beginning. Omos says he was the biggest and brightest from day one! Styles is holding Omos back ever since he “recruited” Omos. And this mutual respect is one-sided! How long did it take Styles to get here? 15 YERS! Omos was begged to sign up! Omos said it the bets: Omos isn’t the next Andre the Giant, he’s the first Omos!

Is Miz done? Styles says why they should never be on this show. Miz is full of BS! He’s a piece of stuff, if you get what Styles means! But if that’s true, then Omos can tell Styles. But before Omos can answer, the Mysterios make their entrance! Rey & Dominik want their match with Styles & Omos now!

Rey & Dominik Mysterio VS AJ Styles & Omos!

The RKBRO-nament is still on pause, but the father and son of lucha libre royalty don’t mind having a phenomenal warm-up! Will the dysfunction stirred up by The Miz help Rey & Dom divide and conquer Styles & Omos? Or can Styles & Omos work out their differences through this match?

Raw returns, Styles starts with Dom and they tie up. Styles waistlocks, SLAMS Dom down, then gets up. Dom wrenches out, fires big forearms, and knuckle locks as he goes up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAGS! But Styles scoops Dom to hit a BACKBREAKER! Rey coaches Dom, Styles drags Dom up to scoop but Dom slips out to kick low. Dom whips, Styles catches Dom for a cobra twist! Styles stretches Dom but Dom endures as fans rally up. Dom slips out, wheelbarrows to a victory roll, TWO! Styles ducks the lariat to PELE Dom down! Styles grins at Rey as Dom gets to a corner. Styles runs in but Dom dodges and Styles only gets buckles! Hot tag to Rey!

Rey headscissors Styles then goes at him at the ropes. Styles puts him out but Rey shoulder sin and slingshots up to TORNADO DDT! Drop toehold puts Styles on ropes, Rey runs and hits the 619! Rey goes up top to FROG SPLASH onto knees! Styles crawls, reaches out, but Omos turns away! Omos really feels how Miz said?! Rey rolls Styles up, the Mysterios win!

Winners: Rey & Dominik Mysterio, by pinfall

Styles is stunned! Not by the roll-up defeat, but by Omos not caring about him! Styles stands up, Omos looks everywhere but in his direction. “Is this how it’s gonna be? I should’ve never took you under my wing, because you’re a piece of trash!” That got Omos’ attention! Omos shoves Styles, Styles fires off haymakers and kicks! PELE and Omos is rocked! But then Omos shoves Styles all the way away! Styles forearms back, springboards up, but Omos catches him! Omos snarls and fireman’s carries, for the COLOSSAL DROP!

Omos looms over Styles, then he gets a mic. “Next time you see me, it will be in a match! Against YOU!” Omos drops the mic on Styles, will he drop Styles into the trash after they have their 1v1 showdown?

 

Austin Theory hesitates in front of Mr. McMahon’s office.

He wants to knock, but he thinks not to. He doesn’t want to face Vince after that defeat. Is that the right move with The Chairman?

 

Randy Orton VS Chad Gable w/ Otis!

The Viper told the Bro to stay in the back, he’s doing this on his own! Will the Apex Predator strike down “Master” Gable in revenge for Riddle? Or will there be a sweep #ForTheAcademy?

Raw returns as the Alpha Academy make their entrance. The bell rings, Gable and Orton tie up. Gable wrenches an arm, has the wristlock, but fans rally for Orton. Orton gets up, breaks free and wrenches back to have a wristlock. Gable rolls, bridges, handsprings, and spins through to headlock, spin and drop toehold! Orton gets away but Gable gloats “FOR THE ACADEMY!” Orton catches his breath and steadies himself on the outside, then he goes back to the ring as the count climbs. Orton is in at 5 of 10, he and Gable circle. They tie up, Orton headlocks, hits the takeover, but Gable headscissors. Orton kips free, Gable trips the leg to cover, ONE!

Orton runs into an arm-drag! Gable has the armlock and grinds the shoulder. Orton fights up, powers Gable to a corner, the ref counts. Orton whips corner to corner, Gable dodges and he arm-drags again! And again! And back to the armlock! Gable says he can do this all day, but Orton fights up. Fans rally again, Gable grinds the arm but Orton knees low! Orton throws Gable out, Gable hurries back in but Orton KICKS him in between the ropes! Orton drags Gable out, but Gable knows this trick! He gets around, Orton elbows free of the waistlock! Gable arm-drags, Orton fakes Gable out, RKO!! Cover, Orton wins!

Winner: Randy Orton, by pinfall

And now they’re even! Otis beat Riddle but Orton beat Gable, but Otis runs in! Orton goes for an RKO, Otis shoves Orton away! Orton dodges Otis, but again Otis powers out of the RKO! And then a third time! Orton gets out of the ring and Otis is furious! “No neck, no RKO!” Is the key to this battle the Viper VS the Dozer?

 

Bobby Lashley prepares in the locker room.

MVP walks over and asks what’s up. Is he good for tonight? Can he trust Big E? No, he can’t. But Lashley will beat the hell out of Rollins and Kevin. If Big E even looks at Lashley wrong, he’ll beat the hell out of him, too. MVP hopes Lashley was setting up a trap out there. MVP can take care of himself but Lashley wasn’t gonna bail on him, was he? Lashley says he has to hydrate. Can MVP go get him some water? Sure, champ. MVP heads out, but that wasn’t a yes or no. Is the All Mighty reconsidering his business partnership with Montel Vontavius Porter?

 

Dana Brooke and Reggie are on another holiday date.

“What a beautiful place!” This is what the holidays are all about. Great lights, beautiful company, what more could they ask for? Dana thanks Reggie for bringing her here. But how about they check the rest of the park? They move on, but Akira Tozawa the elf is looking for where R-Truth went. But then Tamina rushes out and reminds him to stay out of her way! She lurks after Dana and Reggie, and then Truth Claus appears! Tamina rolls Dana up in the distraction, but she slips away! Truth, Tozawa and Reggie tussle while the ladies brawl in the lights! Dana fires off kicks, then runs away! Reggie helps Dana get to the exit! Every time! Tamina scares Truth and Tozawa away!

 

WWE US Championship Contender’s Match: Damian Priest VS Dolph Ziggler w/ Robert Roode!

The Archer of Infamy already shot down the GLORIOUS “Big Bob,” but he still has a score to settle with the Show-Off! Will Priest clear out the Dirty Dawgs? Or will Ziggler have himself a shot at gold after tonight?

Raw returns and the Dawgs make their entrance. The bell rings and the two circle. Priest rushes over, Ziggler gets a leg, but they end up in the ropes. The ref counts, Ziggler lets off but gets a few elbows and kicks in! Priest grabs Ziggler to TOSS him to the corner! Ziggler gets away, Priest bucks the O’Conner Roll and then runs Ziggler over! Priest dodges Ziggler to then back elbow him down! Priest smirks, Ziggler flounders to a corner, and Priest runs in but misses the back elbow! Ziggler jumps on but no DDT! Ziggler kicks a leg, runs, but no Famouser! Ziggler turns it to a sunset flip, TWO! Priest dodges Ziggler’s haymaker to BELL CLAP!

Priest drags Ziggler up but Ziggler throws elbows! Priest CLUBS Ziggler, KICKS him in the side, then drags him up. Ziggler gets ropes, the ref has Priest back off. Ziggler kicks low but Priest DECKS him with a right! Priest whips and FLAPJACKS Ziggler, then smirks again. Fans fire up with Priest as he goes up top. But Ziggler springs up there to join him, for a SUPERPLEX! Both men are down and writhing as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Priest fights free of Ziggler’s chinlock and ROCKS him with a right! Priest whips, Ziggler kicks him back! Ziggler ducks the heel kick and leaps to get the SATELLITE DDT! Cover, TWO! Roode coaches Ziggler up and Ziggler takes aim. Ziggler slaps himself to fire up, Priest stands and he blocks the superkick to ROCK Ziggler again! Priest fires off KICK after KICK after KICK, ROLLING ELBOW and a WHEEL KICK top it off! Priest runs corner to corner for the big back elbow! Then Priest suplexes, but Ziggler slips out and shoves, Priest CLOBBERS Ziggler on the return! Suplex for the BROKEN ARROW! Cover, TWO!

Priest keeps his focus and he goes to a corner. Priest climbs up, Ziggler goes up after him! Priest fights and hops down to ROUNDHOUSE Ziggler down! Ziggler flops to the apron, Roode TRIPS Priest! The ref missed it and now starts a ring count! Roode taunts Priest, Priest is FURIOUS! Roode trips over the steps, Priest leaps and CLOBBERS him! But Priest gets counted out, Ziggler wins!

Winner: Dolph Ziggler, by count-out (NEW #1 Contender to the WWE US Championship)

Priest doesn’t even realize the match is over, he is MAULING Roode! Priest then turns his attention to Ziggler, Ziggler dropkicks him! It does nothing but anger Priest more! Ziggler runs away but Priest pursues! Ziggler’s way up the ramp, so Priest drags Roode up! THE RECKONING to the floor! Priest glares at the Show-Off, will Ziggler reconsider even showing up to work anymore?

 

Backstage interview with Finn Balor.

Kevin Patrick’s sure that win must’ve felt satisfying. Finn says it sure was. Hopefully Theory took plenty of selfies while getting his ass beat. But then Theory BLINDSIDES Balor! Theory fires off on him, then gives him a BACK SUPLEX to a road case! Security and refs rush in, Theory gets one more selfie to rub it in. Will this get Theory back on Vince’s good side?

 

Theory visits Vince’s office now.

Vince has him take a seat. Theory apologizes for the loss, he was foolish and tried to take a selfie during the match. But he got Finn back with an attack. A calculated, cold-blooded and vicious attack! Yes, Vince enjoyed that part. He beat the pudding out of Finn. But he still lost the match. What to do about it? Fire Theory? Vince loves firing people, especially before the holidays. It gives him a warm feeling, like he just had a good meal. But Vince will give Theory a rematch against Finn next week. That’s all Theory needs. Theory thanks Vince. Vince says he didn’t become a ruthless businessman by making bad investments. Theory better not be a bad investment.

Remember, Vince has the pencil, and the eraser. Vince erases something, then blows the shavings off onto Theory before doing a really bad “Ho ho ho!” Will Vince’s twisted reason for the season give Theory the motivation he needs to win?

 

Edge heads to the ring!

MizTV had its turn, now Raw gets Rated R with The Cutting Edge! But will The Mrs. tell all about herself and The Miz?

Raw returns and Edge shouts out Milwaukee. “I have been waiting for a long time to say this, but welcome to the return of The Cutting Edge.” His guest tonight may not have a lot in common with Edge, other than they’re both Canadian and both frustrated with The Miz. So welcome to the show, Maryse! Maryse makes her entrance and Edge says before they get going, “How frustrating is it to be married to that dude?” Maryse says he isn’t going to make it like they’re friends or something. She’s just using his platform to speak. She couldn’t get on MizTV? No, he wouldn’t let her talk. He’s the most Narcissistic and arrogant human on Earth! She can’t even put in in words!

Oh, okay. Didn’t realize this would end up as therapy, but sure, go on. Maryse says it is a little uncomfortable. She has a knot in her stomach. Most know her as Maryse, the bigger than life and perfect person, but she’s still a human who wants to be respected, and maybe even thanked! She loves Miz, it’s been over 15 years, but she wants a thank you for what she does. She takes care of the house, the kids, the food, their business, their reality show, everything! Milwaukee doesn’t seem to sympathize with her as she says she’s just tired. Last week, Edge could’ve hurt her, and he didn’t.

People understand she’s a mom with a two-year-old in Madison, and a three-and-a-half in Monroe. If something happens to her, who takes care of the kids? Maryse gets emotional but fans still don’t really sympathize. Maryse asks Edge if he’d ever have used Beth like this. Edge apologizes… that her life is some sort of horrible country song! Gonna lose a dog and truck? Anyone else buying this? “NO!” Edge saw Maryse’s crocodile tears! Miz is using Maryse to get Edge in a false sense of security so Miz can attack! Miz, this is low, even for you! Using your wife as a shield, and then as a decoy! Would Edge have done this to Beth? No, because he respects her!

So c’mon, Miz! Get out of your hiding spot! The music plays instead, so there’s no hiding, as Miz rushes in from the crowd! Edge was ready, he fires off hands and BOOTS Miz! Maryse SMACKS Edge with her purse, then SLAPS him in the face! Miz comes back, Edge tries to fight it, but he still ends up in a SKULL CRUSHING FINALE!! The Ultimate Opportunist even knew it was coming, and yet The A-Lister pulled it off! Does this mean The Miz will get one over on Edge at Day 1?

 

Rhea Ripley VS Zelina Vega!

The Nightmare lost to the Queen of the Ring last time because Carmella and Nikki A.S.H. ended up a huge distraction. But now, with their tag partners banned from ringside, will we see who is really the better woman?

Raw returns and Zelina makes her entrance, with a mic in her hand. “Greetings, greetings, my dairy loving farm peasants.” But then their booing upsets her. They’re taking Rhea’s side over hers?! Zelina calms down and says that even without the “fatal distraction,” Nikki, Rhea can’t stop WWE’s one true queen! The bell rings and Zelina bows, but then Rhea rsuhes her! Zelina uses ropes for defense and the ref has Rhea back off. Zelina gets aroudn to fire off kicks, but Rhea blocks one! Rhea spins Zelina, Zelina ducks the boot and runs, tilt-o-whirls, but Rhea blocks the DDT! Rhea wags her finger, supelxes but Zelina STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRES! Cover, TOW!

Nikki is watching backstage and is happy to see Rhea getting up. Zelina fires off, Rhea blocks the knee and throws Zelina to then BOOT her down! Rhea puts Zelina up top, ROCKS her with a haymaker then CHOPS her! Rhea climbs, brings Zelina up, STALLING SUPER- NO! Zelina fights back to the corner, slips under, and YANKS Rhea into buckles! Rhea tumbles, Zelina runs to KNEE Rhea down! Cover, TWO! Zelina drags Rhea up, but Rhea HOOK KICKS her down! Pump handle and RIPTIDE! Cover, Rhea wins!

Winner: Rhea Ripley, by pinfall

And point proven! Rhea’s brutality was too much for Queen Zelina all on her own, will Rhea and Nikki be able to take those tag titles back together?

 

Backstage interview with Big E.

Sarah knows Big E and Lashley are on the same team tonight, but can they- Uhhhhh don’t say that filthy word. Sarah, tonight is not about coexisting or being the best team. This is about setting the tone for Day 1. Much like a preacher on Sunday morning, Big E must lay hands on Kevin and Seth! Lashley walks over, Big E asks if Lashley is here to “bump gums” or fight. Or MVP ready to take another swing? Lashley says he didn’t need MVP last week, and he won’t need MVP at Day 1 to put the Hurt Lock on Big E or anyone and get that title. But he’s focused on Kevin and Rollins. Can he trust Big E?

Big E says Lashley doesn’t have to worry. Just leave Montel in the back. Lashley says he can handle that. The Powerhouse and the All Mighty are combustible elements, will it explode right here tonight?

 

Liv Morgan heads to the ring!

The LIVing Embodiment may have a battered hand, but she managed to batter Becky Lynch. Just find the video on YouTube! Or Liv can tell you all about it, after the break!

Raw returns and Liv has the mic, and a kendo stick! “Last week, I challenged Becky Lynch to a rematch at Day 1. And as we all just saw, good ol’ Rebecca tried to ensure herself by injuring me before accepting that rematch. As I laid there with my arm stuck between those steel steps, I knew that no matter how much pain I was in, I couldn’t let Becky get the upper hand. So when Becky was leaving last week, she said she was gonna fly home to train. So I knew that meant Becky was gonna fly home to the private gym that she owns with her try-hard husband in Iowa.” Then Liv knew she would follow Becky there to even things out. Little did Liv know that that was Becky’s plan all along.

Some might have already seen what aired on social media, but for those that didn’t, have a look. Footage plays of Liv storming right into the gym, right up to the ring that was set up in it, and how Becky was choking out one of the trainees. Then Liv gets right in the ring and everyone but Becky sees it! Liv had a kendo stick, and Liv SMACKS not Becky, but a redhead decoy! Becky gets the stick, swings on Liv, but Liv fires off hands! Becky SMACKS the bad arm, then SMACKS Liv on the back and in the ribs! Bu Liv blocks it, and ENZIGURIS back! Liv fires off on Becky until Becky bails out of the ring! Becky shouts for someone to get Liv outta there, but Liv left on her own.

Liv admits, Becky was a step ahead. But Liv learned that Becky is so threatened by her, she had one of her own students pretending to be here because she knew Liv would be coming for payback. Liv really can’t stand that she had to beat up an innocent person, that’s not what she wanted. But Liv was really happy when she thought it was Becky. That’s the kind of person Becky is, though. She’s willing to sacrifice a student and didn’t even care. That’s disgusting. And at Day 1, it won’t be a fair fight, Becky will try to cheat again. But Liv welcomes it because at the end of the day, Liv will have her arm raised. Then Becky can have all the time in the world to spend with her baby and “hot” husband.”

Becky can try to break Liv’s arm, but Liv will break Becky’s face and become the NEW Raw Women’s Champion! But here comes Becky! Becky smiles as she has a mic and says, “Congratulations Liv, you foiled my master plan. You beat that poor, innocent girl senseless! I thinks he still has ice on her arm. You may have even broken her elbow! But you gotta crack a few eggs if you want to make an omelet, am I right?” In this business, you pay your dues. Becky did hers, that’s why she’s not soft. It’d take much more than a few smacks of a kendo stick to keep Becky down, and when you’re big time, you don’t have time to stay down!

But Becky isn’t so sure about Liv, what with that dodgy arm. Well it only took one arm to kick Becky’s ass! Becky says touché. Sometimes, even the best laid plans go awry. But Liv taught Becky’s students that everyone gets lucky once. What Becky will teach them is that luck runs out. Liv got lucky once, but kudos where kudos is due. Liv stepped up more than Becky thought. Liv is #1 contender and made a spotlight for herself. But it gets hot under the lights, and Liv can’t handle the heat. Becky can’t scare Liv out of the match! She’s starting the new year the NEW champion! And you know what? Liv’s spotlight is bright, and she’s feeling just fine. Why not take a look for yourself, Becky?

Oh, Liv. As much as Becky wants to finish what she started and take Liv’s other arm, she’s not an idiot. She won’t get near Liv swinging that stick like a maniac. Oh, no, this isn’t for Liv. This is for Becky. Liv throws the kendo stick to her! Pick it up and get in! Don’t insult the champion! The longest reigning Raw Women’s Champion for a reason! Liv is lucky Becky’s got a private jet to catch. The Man walks away, but will she man-up on Day 1?

 

Seth Rollins & Kevin Owens VS Big E & Bobby Lashley!

The Architect and the Prizefighter annoy each other, while the Powerhouse and the All Mighty can barely trust each other. But when it comes to a common goal, both sides can agree they need to win! Will there be a winning team? Or will dysfunction win out in the main event?

Raw returns and Lashley makes his entrance. Then Kevin and then Rollins enter. The teams sort out, Big E starts with Kevin, and Big E fires off with the bell! He has Kevin in a corner but the ref counts. Big E lets off, Kevin kicks then whips but Big E reverses. Lashley tags in to go and run Kevin over! Rollins springboards in but Big E hits him with a body shot, then tosses him out for Lashley to run over! Fans fire up for the surprising teamwork as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns, Lashley stalks Rollins on the outside and goes around the way. Lashley THROWS Rollins into barriers, then follows him into the ring. Rollins kicks low, reels Lashley in, but Lashley blocks the suplex to suplex Rollins instead! Lashley carries Rollins around for a count of 10, and then with one arm, before the SLAM! Fans fire up as Lashley waits on Rollins to get up. But Rollins fights the full nelson and kicks Lashley away! Rollins then baits Lashley in to dump him out! Tag to Kevin and Kevin drops a senton on Lashley! Kevin stomps away, drags Lashley up and puts him in. Kevin drops another senton! Cover, TWO!

Kevin facelocks Lashley, grinds him down, but fans rally up. Big E reaches out, but Kevin knees Lashley down! Kevin mocks the hip swiveling but the ref keeps Big E back. Rollins tags in, he and Kevin double suplex Lashley up and over! Kevin flexes then tells fans to suck it! Rollins covers, TWO! Rollins chinlocks and grinds Lashley down, but Lashley fights up. Fans rally for Lashley as he pries free and arm-drags Rollins away! Then he gets Rollins for a COMPLETE SHOT! Hot tags to Kevin and Big E! Big E rallies on Kevin, OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And another! And then the SIDE Belly2Belly! Big E swivels them hips, runs but has to clothesline Rollins out first!

Kevin rolls Big E, TWO! Kevin runs into the Urenag-E! Cover, TWO! Big E claps and fans join in, “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” Big E scoops, Kevin slips out, Big E again has to swipe at Rollins! Kevin SUPERKICKS Big E down, tag to Rollins! FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Tag back to Kevin, Rollins DIVES onto Lashley! SWANTON BOMB from Kevin! Cover, TWO!! Big E survives and Kevin shouts for Rollins as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns as Kevin stomps Big E and digs his boot in. Kevin goes up and MOONSAULTS BUT FLOPS as Big E moves! Big E and Kevin crawl, hot tags to Rollins and Lashley! Lashley rallies on Rollins, spins him around and hits a NECKBREAKER! Then an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Lashley runs corner to corner to clothesline! And then runs again, into a BOOT! Rollins runs, Lashley hurdles! And scoops Rollins for a POWERSLAM! Cover, Kevin breaks it! Big E throws hands on Kevin, whips him out to the apron and then runs but into a KNEE! Rollins ROLLING ELBOWS Big E! Lashley kicks Rollins and gets him up, but Rollins slips off the rack!

Rollins jumps Lashley, SPEAR to Big E!! Kevin tags in, kicks, but no Stunner! Lashley SPEARS Kevin! Cover, Lashley and Big E win!

Winners: Big E & Bobby Lashley, by pinfall

CURB STOMP from Rollins right after!! Rollins realizes he was a second too late, but he goes after Lashley with fists! Rollins gets Kevin out of the ring so he can drag Lashley out. Kevin helps, they mug Lashley just like earlier tonight! Rollins pulls the steps apart, Kevin helps out again, and they use that to RAM Big E down! They go back to Lashley and RAM him down! Kevin then CANNONBALLS Big E into barriers! Rollins and Kevin regroup to get Lashley up and shout out to the Shield with the assisted APRON POWERBOMB!! But Rollins wants to keep going, and he gets the base steps! Kevin puts Lashley on the steps, holds him in place, and Rollins climbs up, but he laughs it off.

Then he runs in to STOMP Lashley down!! Just when it looked like they were showing mercy! Rollins and Kevin get in the ring, they shake hands, but they each watch the other in case one turns. They both turn around, to HUG! Rollins and Kevin are victorious tonight, but will this alliance only last until Day 1?


My Thoughts:

A pretty good episode, but there are subtle signs WWE is just trying to drag things out to get to Day 1. For one, the WWE US Championship Contender’s match. It was so obvious they wanted to give Ziggler his title match without giving him the title match tonight. The count-out win and Priest going “Damian” again, all setting up what I thought was a Day 1 match but is instead just a match for next week’s go-home. Priest is surely winning that match, and then it’s on to…? Broken record time: WWE shouldn’t have cut so many superstars, they literally got rid of great challengers for Priest.

And then while Belair VS Piper “The Final Chapter” was a good match, it wasn’t as good as last week’s. If they could’ve booked the second match like this one and then given us last week’s match tonight, that would’ve been proper pacing. Also it seems a shame for Piper that she didn’t win one of these. Doesn’t really say much for the Raw Women’s Championship scene if they’re not willing to build up another Heel in the singles division while they’re keeping Becky Heel. Becky and Liv had an okay segment tonight, but I feel like Becky’s Heel run is still not working because I heard fans cheering when they saw Becky teeing off on Liv in the video. Becky should get past Liv and then slowly shift back towards Face so she can start something with Piper.

Rhea beating Zelina was of course how this was going with Nikki backstage and Mella just absent tonight. WWE has no idea what it’s doing with its RawDown Women’s Tag Division anyway, so of course the former champions are going to fight their way to another opportunity. I still hope Nikki goes back to her SAnitY look, that will really reinvigorate her and Rhea and all of this stuff. Then WWE can get SmackDown’s side going with a team like Shayna Baszler and Natalya, who are both former champions and therefore have history with Rhea & Nikki. Too bad WWE cut a lot of good choices for challengers in that division, too!

It’s hard to tell if WWE wants Lashley to be Face or not. Fans loved him in the main event, because what’s not to like about a big strong guy doing big strong guy stuff? But I do suppose they were able to keep it a mystery. When Lashley had MVP and Big E square off, Rollins and Kevin attacked before anything really happened, and of course he didn’t answer MVP directly. So Lashley could still come out of Day 1 a Face or a Heel and it’d still be fine. It also gives WWE time to decide if they want to go through with the turn or not. But I will say, Rollins and Kevin have amazing bad guy odd couple chemistry, and they did a great job teasing the alliance breaking only to double down. Are they going to be the Heel answer to RKBRO?

For those wondering why Riddle wasn’t around tonight, they did a great kayfabe saying Orton wanted to handle Gable alone, but I would think this has to do with filming vignettes with MSK for NXT. But I like that we’re getting Orton VS Otis before Day 1, we could see quite a good singles match out of Otis. And maybe Rollins & Kevin as a team replace Styles & Omos since we got their break-up tonight through the use of Miz TV and the match with the Mysterios. Miz TV was perhaps purposefully a little weaker than The Cutting Edge tonight, and Miz getting the better of Edge despite being obvious is obviously because Edge wins at Day 1. And probably gets Beth Phoenix involved, too.

My Score: 8/10


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More From Japan

NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.187 ~ 29TH SEPTEMBER 2022

Keiji Mutoh continues his Retirement tour and bringing out faces from the past! NOAH has a new champion! Interesting inter-promotional battles on the horizon as well!

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NEWS

Kaito Kiyomiya is the new GHC Heavyweight Champion, nominates Kazuyuki Fujita as challenger

Following provocation by Kenoh not only saying that he was going to be the one to inherit Keiji Mutoh’s Shining Wizard and the memory of Keiji Mutoh himself (and the outright claim that Kiyomiya would simply forget about Mutoh once Mutoh had retired, which Kiyomiya didn’t even bother responding to), Kenoh went one step further at their last pre match on the 19th September by pulling Keiji Mutoh’s pose, kissing his hand, putting it to Kiyomiya’s lips and then exploding it. Kiyomiya erupted in fury at this, it was far more than any verbal provocation of Kenoh’s, which I guess he has learned to ignore over the years. They fought for the GHC Heavyweight in Nagoya on September 25th, with Kiyomiya emerging victorious following a modified Shining Wizard. As Kenoh left it was like a spell was broken. Kenoh went backstage and muttered about Kiyomiya being the company favorite and in his interview the day after winning the title, Kiyomiya said nothing about Keiji Mutoh. Mutoh as we know had been a focus of both Kiyomiya and Kenoh leading up to the title match.

Back in the ring, Kiyomiya called out his next opponent. Kazuyuki Fujita. Fujita came to the ring, carrying a can of beer which he swigged from. Getting in the ring he circled Kiyomiya and took off his t-shirt. Kiyomiya said that he was expecting a fight, but Fujita did something that no other NOAH wrestler had (or perhaps would) do, and that was to throw himself at Kiyomiya and then make nuzzling motions against his head, while he licked the belt. Kiyomiya pushed him off, and Fujita retaliated by pouring beer over his head.

Kiyomiya screaming that he hated beer was met with Fujita toasting him from the ramp and yelling “Kampaiii” (“cheers”) after a fight had broken out, and Kiyomiya threw him from the ring.

 

Backstage, Kiyomiya said his reason for nominating Kazuyuki Fujita as his challenger was that he had never been defeated for the GHC Heavyweight. Fujita had to give up the belt due to Coronavirus. It has been a recurring theme of most of the GHC Heavyweight champions since Go Shiozaki, that Fujita has been the man to beat in order to cement yourself as champion. Kiyomiya was picking up that torch.

As for Fujita, he played it as if he was a Casanova and had been asked out on a date by warning Kiyomiya that when you experience Fujita, you can never go back because you were never going to be the same. He was going to “make it a night to remember”. He sipped his beer, and licked his lips afterwards.

Title match has been set for NOAH’s return to Ariake on the 30th October.

STINGER lose, NOAH Junior Regulars win, enter Tadasuke (with a chair)

Following a period of brutal attacks on Seiki Yoshioka (by the end of the match he could hardly use one side of his body) and a title challenge where Atsushi Kotoge was bloodied up, The NOAH Junior Regulars emerged victorious and bought the tag titles home to their unit. They had very little time to celebrate their win and put ice on their wounds, when Tadasuke burst in and attacked Atsushi Kotoge with a chair while Hi69 beat up on the already incapacitated Seiki Yoshioka. Tadasuke (wild grin on his face) got on the microphone and made a challenge for the tag titles. Then Tadasuke wiped the blood from Kotoge that had got on his hands on his hair, leaving red streaks in the peroxide. Tadasuke was even waving the bloodied seat of the chair, which had detached during the attack, around backstage.

Title match will be on the 30th October when NOAH return to the Ariake complex.

Takashi Sugiura and Satoshi Kojima, NOAH’s most dysfunctional tag team, win the GHC Heavyweight tag titles

It must be said that with the combined efforts of Satoshi Kojima and Hideki Suzuki, we almost have our Sugi back.

At the press conference/title match signing, Sugi and Kojima appeared dressed in suits and wearing dark glasses. They looked something between The Men In Black and “Dangerous Detectives” (as Tokyo Sports called them  which stems from a Japanese TV show). Hideki Suzuki was on form, not only mistranslating Timothy Thatcher and stating at one point that Thatcher said he came to Japan to “beat you up” and being rude to a journalist for being overfamiliar with his “punk mouth”, the highlight of the press conference was his long close up stare at Sugi, who was trying not to laugh.

The dysfunctional team won the titles in Nagoya on the 25th September, and despite their falling out during the match, Sugi actually gave Kojima a proper handshake. Then they went back to squabbling backstage over Kojima talking on the mic when it was Sugi who got the win. No challengers have come forward as of yet.

HAYATA retains the GHC Junior, Ninja Mack makes his long awaited challenge

It had been an emotional match for YO-HEY, and for fans. Cutting out the aerial techniques that had characterized their earlier matches, both he and HAYATA demonstrated how much they had both evolved by concentrating on a more NOAH based ground attack with submissions. YO-HEY might have failed in the challenge, but he had at least gotten one win over HAYATA in the pre-match. He knew the title match would be different and he would need to level up, and afterwards he reflected and said he would start from rock bottom in order to make his next challenge. What fans had noticed that while things had changed between them, some things were the same, such as YO-HEY coloring his hair, his tongue (and even his boxer shorts) purple, which is HAYATA’s color, and HAYATA not speaking as much as he has done in previous title challenges, as he is content to let YO-HEY talk. After the match, Ninja Mack came to challenge. HAYATA accepted by saying, that he was “finally interested in the belt” and acknowledging him as challenger. Title match will of course be on the 30th October. But HAYATA is not immediately going into a fallout match with Ninja Mack at NOAH’s next event on the 30th, but is having a tag match against YO-HEY.

Keiji Mutoh’s Retirement Road

Keiji Mutoh has been very busy.

– 23rd September: Great Muta appears in AEW

The Great Muta made a surprise appearance in AEW to rescue Sting, who had been tied to a chair by Darby Allen. Muta came to the ring, advanced on Sting and then turned and spat green mist into the face of Allen and then reunited with Sting. Keiji Mutoh announced that Sting would attend Muta’s retirement on the 22nd in Yokohama, but has not said in what capacity, although it is assumed that they will tag. Regarding any further appearances in America, Mutoh said he didn’t think it was likely, but did warn that The Great Muta may pop up somewhere as you never knew where he would turn up next.

– 25th September: Keiji Mutoh Retirement Road: Love Forever 2

Keiji Mutoh teamed with his junior Kazuyuki Fujita to take on Mutoh’s classmate, Masakatsu Funaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima, who Mutoh has known since he was a boy, and still calls affectionately “Katsuhiko”. Nakajima said he was going to break up this class reunion, and while Mutoh did get kicked (Nakajima smirked and said it was fun when Mutoh later complained his leg still hurt) but it was Fujita who got the worst of it. During the match, Nakajima pulled out Mutoh’s Space Rolling Elbow. Mutoh was initially not pleased, but then he became very happy to see it and said that he thought that “Katsuhiko” did it because he had some small measure of feeling for him. I think had Nakajima been a more acrobatic wrestler, Mutoh might have handed it to him. Mutoh won the match with The Shining Wizard, pinning Nakajima. This was Mutoh’s farewell to Nagoya, his classmate, his junior and Nakajima.

– 26th September: Hiroshi Tanahashi comes to the press conference and a tag match is announced

Hiroshi Tanahashi presented 38 roses to Mutoh when he came to the press conference. Each rose symbolizes a year of Mutoh’s career. Mutoh joked that he should have laid them at his feet, as had happened in boxing recently. Tanahashi said he wasn’t good at ad-libbing, and then introduced himself as “one of the greatest New Japan talents in the past one hundred years”. During the press conference, a tag match was announced. New Japan’s Hiroshi Tanahashi, Togi Makabe and Honma Tomoaki will team together against the team of Naomichi Marufuji, Keiji Mutoh and Keiji Mutoh. This will take place on the 30th October. Mutoh has not given up hope of appearing one final time in the New Japan ring.

– 16th October: A new match is announced

NOAH announced that due to fan demand, Keiji Mutoh will be appearing in Fukuoka. He will tag with Ninja Mack and Satoshi Kojima against Naomichi Marufuji, HAYATA and Jack Morris. Satoshi Kojima is of course connected to Mutoh through All Japan and New Japan, Naomichi Marufuji has wanted a match against Mutoh (he will be tagging with him as we know on the 30th October) and HAYATA has been a big fan of Mutoh for a while, as he has influenced a lot of his style and persona. HAYATA thinks of himself and The Great Muta as “The Phantom Team”. Muta doesn’t like to speak and HAYATA said, neither does he.

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima head overseas

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima will appear for Evolution Pro Wrestling in New York for their anniversary show on November 12th. Marufuji’s match is yet to be announced, but Nakajima will take on Josh Alexander. Alexander has said he wonders how Nakajima is going to kick after he snaps his ankle. They will also appear at King of Indies in San Francisco on November 19th.

NOSAWA vs Katsuhiko Nakajima (and Kenoh)

After being beaten up by Katsuhiko Nakajima who gave him some pretty stiff soccerball kicks outside the ring at Korakuen Hall recently, (although he would tell you that Nakajima tried to beat him up), NOSAWA Rongai has been on a quest to face Nakajima in a match. Then he threw in Kenoh, so it could be himself and Eita versus Kongoh. Hideki Suzuki told him that he was probably going to die, but NOSAWA has taken no notice and kept on with his demand. His demand has not been met because rather than facing Nakajima and Kenoh, NOAH have booked him against rookies Yasutaka Yano and Kai Fujimura. NOSAWA thinks he is having to go through some kind of trial.

ELSEWHERE IN NOAH

– Hideki Suzuki has hinted that perhaps Takashi Sugiura might like to get back online.

– Yoshiki Inamura and YO-HEY continued their guild, despite the fact that YO-HEY said someone attacked and burned their castle down. A picture was taken of YO-HEY and Inamura playing the game, with YO-HEY seated cross legged on Inamura, who was doing a bridge in the ring. We have seen Inamura used as a weight, but is he now used as furniture?

– NOAH’s Director, Narihiro Takeda, wrote on a NOAH Note that he would like for Darby Allin to come to NOAH one day.

– Tadasuke got a match thrown out by ripping off Alejandro’s mask. Tadasuke did not care, and did not even respond when Alejandro asked if he wanted a mask for himself?

– Daiki Inaba had his long awaited singles match with Katsuhiko Nakajima, but failed to revenge himself for Nakajima’s behavior in W-1. Nakajima even went for the cocky pin by grinning and leaning on Inaba.

– There was usual chaos at the NOAH Junior Space sessions as Daisuke Harada is not there to take control. Atsushi Kotoge seems to be the main culprit, forgetting to invite Seiki Yoshioka in and at one time even failing to press record.

– It’s probably best that Daiki Inaba, who apparently likes to be in the nip backstage, was not present when NOAH was at Differ. It was bad enough that Sugi used to wander around naked…

– Mitsuharu Misawa wrote in a diary entry for 2006 about filming an advert for THE LEAVE, and having to sing first thing in the morning while they were filming. Probably due to the fact that he had a problem with his throat anyway, was a heavy smoker and had taken “so many chops and kicks” to it in his career, he said he sounded very hoarse.

EVENT RECAPS AND POST MATCH PROMOS

SUNNY VOYAGE – September 19th 

Event recap

Post match promos

N-INNOVATION – September 21st 

Event recap

Post match promos

GRAND SHIP 2022 IN NAGOYA/KEIJI MUTOH RETIREMENT ROAD – September 25th

Event recap

Post match promos

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

  • GHC Heavyweight Champion: Kaito Kiyomiya
    Challenger: Kazuyuki Fujita, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Junior Champion: HAYATA
    Challenger: Ninja Mack, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: KojiSugi (Satoshi Kojima & Takashi Sugiura)
    Challengers: TBA
  • GHC Junior Tag Champions: The NOAH Junior Regulars (Atsushi Kotoge & Seiki Yoshioka)
    Challengers: Kongoh Juniors (Tadasuke & Hi69), [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC National Champion: Masakatsu Funaki
    Challenger: Masa Kitamiya, SUNNY VOYAGE 2022 – Friday September 30th (Bandaijima Multi-Purpose Square Ogama)

(This event will not be broadcast live, but hopefully this match will be shown via Instagram)

THIS WEEK IN NOAH

(October 2022 schedule)

– Friday, October 7th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse/ABEMA (live)

– Saturday, October 8th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse (live)

Note about broadcasts

Unless you are living in Japan or have a VPN you know is compatible with ABEMA, please do not subscribe to the service. For fans living outside of Japan, a subscription to WrestleUniverse would be better as they show more NOAH shows than ABEMA, and usually the events get uploaded very quickly. ABEMA broadcasts are only in Japanese, you can only watch them live, and this is the only NOAH they show. They do not broadcast old shows as these belong to Samurai TV.

BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES

Wednesday, 5th October: Keiji Mutoh debut anniversary (38)

Wednesday, 5th October: Seiki Yoshioka debut anniversary (14)

LINKS

“I want to protect this belt for the rest of my life”, new GHC champion Kiyomiya holds morning press conference to establish a new NOAH landscape

Mutoh’s Retirement Road, tag match against Tanahashi in round three: “I want to grab the secret of secrets”, Tanahashi presents 38 roses

Great Muta teaming up with Sting for last match? “Agent” Mutoh’s opinion 

“I wonder if I can transmit more” YO-HEY aims to revitalize the junior ark with his first championship

AEW Shock! Great Muta appears in America! Rescues Sting and shake of hands

“Follow Me You Bastards” – Kenoh’s Weekly Pro Column

GHC Junior Match Signing: YO-HEY “Last Chance, I don’t think as my ex partner now”, HAYATA “I don’t feel anything”

“Taka & Satoshi” reveal a “dangerous detective” look, mischievous Suzuki is a reckless interpreter, the GHC tag signing ceremony is thrown into chaos by bizarre question and answer between the two teams

 A “Comrade” and an “Older Brother”, Masakatsu Funaki talks about his thoughts on Mutoh’s retirement, “I want to kick him mercilessly”

BOOK CORNER

“Donmai, Donmai” – Mitsuharu Misawa’s diary

With thanks to: Metal NOAH

GIF taken from WrestleUniverse & NOAH Official YouTube

Picture credit: YO-HEY & NOAH.co.jp


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Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 9.29.2022

Bound for Glory is 8 days away, but Victory Road just happened. What kind of show do we get with some fallout and penultimate hype?

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Victory Road just happened, but Bound for Glory is like 8 nights away? You know I forgot that it was such a quick turn around. That makes tonight weird, since there’s some fallout, but then there’s gonna be a lot of table setting for Bound for Glory.

This episode could be awful. The last week or so haven’t exactly set the world afire, so I’m curious if the highlight really is just gonna be the Monster’s Ball with Masha and Allie Katch.

*insert joke about possibly gagging and balls and Swinger’s Dungeon*

Ratings:

  • Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid: Bullet Club win via Finesse & Fold – **
  • IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve: Myers retains via Roster Cut – ** 1/2
  • Delirious vs Black Taurus: Black Taurus wins via Destination Hellhole – ** 1/4
  • PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath: Rich wins via Phoenix Splash – ** 1/4
  • Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – *** 1/2

Results:

Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid

I don’t think I could care less about this match if I tried. Trey and Laredo are worthless. Laredo has eaten so many terrible losses and Trey is just bad. If the BC Juniors don’t win…I will really question the booking.

My biggest takeaway early is the commentary tries to put over Trey “turning heads”. No he doesn’t, he is legitimately hard to watch and everything that Will Ospreay did wrong in his early career; is basically Trey, but with less personality. Oh did you expect play by play? They isolate Laredo, decent tandem attacks, when Trey comes in it’s bad offense typical Cruiser garbage with laughable facials and body language.

Just typical crap with Trey. Were there some cool high spots? Sure. Do I care? NOPE.

IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve

Steve starts with some of his quirky mat wrestling, Arm Wringers into Drop Toe Holds and face biting. It shocked Myers early, but he takes a small shortcut and starts trying to slow down the psycho from Decay. Steve bounces off the ropes and Myers does his sliding trip move before commercial.

Back from commercial, Snapmare from Steve and the neck twister into some corner offense of Hip Attacks and Sentons for 2. Myers dodges King Kill 33, lands a few pot shots, Implant DDT for 2. Into the corner, face bite, Upside Down, after the rope break Myers grabs the referee to block Steve. Eye Poke, Roster Cut, AND STILL…

Simple, but entertaining. Plus it continues Myers’ arrogant, full of himself for absolutely no reason persona. Oh and he offers up an Open Challenge for Bound for Glory. Maybe Bobby Fish? Someone new? Could be interesting. 

Delirious vs Black Taurus

Delirious is between gibberish and Stone Cold early on while they’re just trading shots. Delirious twists the Nose Ring…in the mask…and Taurus sells it momentarily before stomping the foot and decking him. This is just a weird match. I mean we all know Delirious is weird, but he’s not all comedy; and Taurus is supposed to be legit-ish.

Admittedly, with the exception of Victory Road, it has been years since I’ve watched a Delirious match. So the level of ridiculousness has hit Toru Yano levels, especially after the 10 count Leg Drops. Taurus powders, comes back in, Shoulder Tackle, Blackhole Backbreaker into a Samoan Drop. As soon as Taurus looks in charge, Delirious throws together a combo, eats a Headbutt and then Destination Hellhole.

Sheesh okay after 2 interview segments we get to Honor No More’s victory celebration segment. Just a lot of talking and inaction, so this just goes to feed that weird feeling I had coming into the show because of the timing. Eddie does the usual thing where hates on PCO and accuses him of being the weak link, which is a smart story angle since the fans tend to like PCO’s gimmick and this makes him more sympathetic to casual observers. 

Oh good Taven is talking nowWait did I just say that? DAMN YOU IMPACT! Made me like Matt Taven. Maria stirs the pot a little saying that Eddie is a better wrestler than Josh and Moose…by the implications. 

Thank God, Josh Alexander finally breaks up the segment with…more talking. Okay never mind. Jesus since the end of the Delirious match it was like 15 minutes before Josh finally charged the ring and threw down a bit with Honor No More. Rich Swann and Heath make a bit of the babyface save for Josh, but the numbers are still on Honor No More’s side. Oh MCMG come down in a tracksuit and dress clothes! Someone wasn’t ready to be doing a run in.

PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath

Well isn’t that convenient that four of the men in the donnybrook were supposed to be in a match anyway.

Rich uses his quickness to try and stay ahead of PCO, but PCO cuts him off in the corner into the Corner Hung Codebreaker, then the leaned against the ropes Leg Drop thing. Vincent throws together a T-Bone Suplex into a Flatliner and keeps the vibes flowing on Rich Swann.

PCO clears out Heath, but PCO’s hand gets stuck in the ropes. Vincent eats a flip kick and the Phoenix Splash while PCO and Heath are brawling on the outside after the rope issue with PCO.

Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch

Haymakers and Headbutts start things off as they both hit the ropes and lay out one another with dual clotheslines. Trash can lid duel, Masha gets first contact, but Allie blocks and returns 3 shots. German Suplex from Masha into whipping her with a chain, some choking and then general pulling with the chain in Katch’s mouth or around her eyes. Katch claws at Masha’s eyes to try and get some space.

Headbutts and Biting from Masha as Allie tries to power out of a Bow and Arrow. More chain choking…I’m not sure if this is a wrestling match or BDSM prep at the moment. Ahh Masha needs more Cowbell but Allie cuts her off with a trash can lid. Allie tries a Piledriver through a door, but Masha turns it into an Air Raid Crash into the opposite corner.

Commercial break, and Allie is getting choked again. Spots get a little redundant, slams, chokes, and blood. OHHH – it’s a “Use the Door” chant. I thought it was – nah – I won’t say what I thought it was. Chairshot from Masha misses, but a Snap Suplex from Masha onto the chair gets some usefulness. Straight Right to the gut and an Axe Kick allows Masha to hit the Death Valley Driver onto the propped up chair. Masha goes back to biting after it was only 2. Allie cuts off Masha going to the top, Superplex onto the trash can lid, into a Death Valley Driver through the door – but Masha kicks out.

Allie tries a Piledriver on the apron a few times, but Masha blocks. Masha tries for the Release German to the floor but Allie holds on. Dazed strikes, bites and then a Russian Leg Sweep through the table lays both out for a short time. Masha grabs a black bag, it’s gotta be tacks for Monster’s Ball. Masha eats a few tacks for good show, picks up Allie but Allie fights. Piledriver into the tacks from Allie, only 2. Allie opens a trash can, and empties a bunch of cut up soda cans. Hits Masha with the can, Masha fires, Spinning Heel Kick and then Russian Death Device into the pile of tacks and cans.

Overall Score: 6.25/10

The main event was pretty good, maybe even a little better than I gave it credit for; I’m just sick of seeing some crazy hardcore match so often from Impact. It feels like its weekly, and that’s too damn much. Trey is terrible, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. He sells poorly, he doesn’t tell a story with his wrestling and he looks like an idiot pretending to be something he isn’t; and that’s talented.

Myers is fine with his classic delusional heel style, Delirious gave a bit of a rub to Taurus so I’m guessing he’s probably next up in the X Division. But a straight 15 minutes of interviews and talking is just too damn much especially when the surrounding wrestling isn’t very good or hearty enough to help people tolerate talking time.

I do however love Joe Hendry. So…yeah. There’s always some quirky gimmicks that just resonate well with me, and this is gorgeous.

All in all, decent enough; though next week could be a real banger of a Go Home.


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