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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (12/31/21)

The last SmackDown of 2021 is on FS1!

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Coverage SmackDown 2021

SmackDown counts down WWE’s Top Ten Moments of 2021!

It’s New Year’s Eve, and Day 1 is coming! Relive the best of the best from this past year, and see if your favorites made the list before we start all over again!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Number 10: SummerSlam 8/21/21 – Raw Tag Team Championships: AJ Styles & Omos VS RKBRO; RKBRO wins and become the new Raw Tag Team Champions.
  • Number 9: WrestleMania 4/11/21 – Logan Paul stunned at WrestleMania 37.
  • Number 8: 8/21/21 – Goldberg VS Bobby Lashley w/ MVP; Lashley wins.
  • Number 7: 8/21/21 – Raw Women’s Championship Triple Threat: Nikki A.S.H. VS Rhea Ripley VS Charlotte Flair; Charlotte wins and becomes the new Raw Women’s Champion.
  • Number 6: WrestleMania 4/10/21 – Bad Bunny flies at WrestleMania 37.
  • Number 5: Crown Jewel 10/21/21 – Hell in a Cell: Edge VS Seth Rollins; Edge wins.
  • Number 4: 4/10/21 – SmackDown Women’s Championship: Sasha Banks VS Bianca Belair; Belair wins and becomes the new SmackDown Women’s Champion.
  • Number 3: 8/21/21 – SmackDown Women’s Championship: Bianca Belair VS Sasha Banks Carmella Becky Lynch; Becky wins and becomes the new SmackDown Women’s Champion.
  • Number 2: Monday Night Raw 9/13/21 – WWE World Championship Money in the Bank Cash-In: Bobby Lashley VS Big E; Big E wins and becomes the new WWE World Champion.
  • Number 1: 8/21/21 – The Beast is Back!

PLAY BY PLAY

2021 was a big year!

A year of returns, such as Vince McMahon, Brock Lesnar, John Cena, Becky Lynch, and most importantly, the fans in the stands! There were big moments, big movements, big accomplishments and NEW champions! But now WWE will count down the top ten moments of the year!

Michael Cole introduces his cohost for tonight, Pat McAfee! Pat says he was forced to be here, but he still got the tux and the suspenders to go with his shorts. He’s ready to get going, but Cole points out this is a two hour show. Pat isn’t the only one here, though! He introduces The Man, Becky Lynch! The Raw Women’s Champion struts onto the set and says the dream team is back together again! And they have Cole here. But to get started, tag teams were big in 2021. For one, Rey & Dominik Mysterio become the first-ever father and son tag team champions, and then we got one of the greatest odd couple champions in Randy Orton & Matt Riddle, RKBRO!

SummerSlam 8/21/21 – Raw Tag Team Championships: AJ Styles & Omos VS RKBRO!

We go back to SummerSlam as the Phenomenal & the Colossal put up the titles against the Viper and the Stallion! We skip the entrances and formalities as Riddle starts with Styles, only for Styles to tag out to Omos! Omos gets in the ring, Orton coaches Riddle, only for Omos to run Riddle over! Omos drags Riddle up to CLUB him down, and then drags him up to scoop, carry, and SLAM! Omos smirks at Orton but even Orton thought that was good. Omos drags Riddle to the corner, Styles tags in, and Omos drags Riddle up for Styles go use Omos as a booster, TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!

Styles keeps his cool and he wraps Riddle in a chinlock. Fans rally, Riddle fights up and throws body shots! Styles kicks low, fireman’s carries but Riddle elbows free. Styles switches the waistlock to CLUB Riddle, and shove him at the corner. Riddle KNEES Omos, then dumps Styles out! Riddle hurries, fans fire up, and Omos isn’t sure what to do! Styles hurries back in, and he just anchors Riddle’s foot! Riddle gets up, Styles reaches out but Riddle KNEES Styles down! Hot tag to Orton! The fans are thunderous as Orton rallies on Styles, hits Omos, then gives Styles a back drop! Another shot for Omos, then Orton runs in to clothesline Styles at the corner!

Orton whips Styles corner to corner then gets the POWERSLAM! Omos gets a leg on the rope but Orton kicks him down! Orton then puts Styles through the ropes, and fans fire up as he brings Styles out, DRAPING DDT! Orton hears the voices in his head, but Omos drags Styles out. Riddle leaps in, but Omos catches him for an APRON CHOKE SLAM! Orton drags Styles up but Styles HOTSHOTS Orton back! Styles calls to Omos, he hauls Riddle up, but Riddle slips off to POST Omos! Styles MOONSAULTS and DDT’s Riddle down! Styles aims at Orton now, and he springboards< Orton gets under to pop Styles up but Styles stops the RKO! Roll up, TWO!

RKO OUTTA NOWHWERE! Cover, RKBRO wins!

Winners: RKBRO, by pinfall (NEW Raw Tag Team Champions)

Orton & Riddle just brought down a team that looked unstoppable! And we know now that they’ve been on a roll ever since! Will they continue to win outta nowhere in the New Year?

 

SmackDown returns.

Pat McAfee says Roman Reigns has had one of the greatest years since humans have been counting years as a thing. Becky says she’s been better but still a great year for the Top Dog, Tribal Chief, Head of the Table, the Big Uce, Roman Reigns. But Roman’s 488 day reign is still behind Brock Lesnar’s record setting reign at 503. Will Lesnar keep that record when he ends Roman’s reign? Or will Roman always be the reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion? Becky brings up her title match, but Cole says they’ll wait to give her a whole spotlight. And that means moving on to moment number nine!

 

4/11/21 – Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn w/ Logan Paul!

Skip ahead to Sami hitting another CORNER EXPLODER, to a HALF ‘N’ HALF! To a BRAINBUSTER!! Cover, TWO!?!? Kevin lives and Sami can’t believe it! “This is Awesome!” and far from over as Kevin gets to a corner. Sami SLAPS Kevin, Kevin SLAPS Sami, it’s a FAST & FURIOUS SLAP FIGHT!! Sami gets the edge, throws body shots and uppercuts, but the ref has Sami back off. Sami gets Kevin up, hauls him up top but Kevin fights. Sami still gets Kevin to the top and he headbutts from below!

Sami climbs, brings Kevin back up, but Kevin counters to a SUPER FISHERMAN BUSTER!! Even Logan is reeling from that one! Both men are down, Sami slowly sits up and drags himself to a corner. Kevin sits up and is in the opposite corner. Kevin grits his teeth, runs corner to corner at Sami to clothesline! Kevin keeps going, and clotheslines again. Kevin goes, Sami follows, HELLUVA KICK!! Sami keeps Kevin from falling over, and tells him this is because of Kevin. Sami goes corner to corner, into a SUPERKICK!! Sami staggers, into another SUPERKICK!! Fans fire up for Kevin as he looks Sami in the eye. “You did this.” STUNNER!! Cover, Kevin wins!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by pinfall

Logan seems to be the only one shocked, but he still applauds this victory! Whether Kevin has knocked some sense into Sami is yet to be seen, but he did get a big win at #KOMania5! Logan checks on Sami, tries to talk with him, but Sami says someone screwed him! The ref, the managers, someone! Logan tells Kevin that this was awesome stuff. Sami won’t let Logan shake Kevin’s hand! Sami says Kevin conspired against him! Sami wants Logan to listen to him, but Logan shoves Sami! Sami says to hell with Logan! Sami storms off, Logan raises Kevin’s hand in victory. Logan sure is a bandwagoner, huh?

Kevin doesn’t like that, either, and he gives Logan a STUNNER!! “This is MY ring!” And we know now that Kevin Owens is the Prizefighter, having a part in a Fatal 4 Way at Day 1! Will Kevin once again be on top of the WWE as world champion?

 

SmackDown returns again.

Pat is ready to have fun, the bubbly and the cheers. Cole is a third wheel as Pat and Becky are all excited for the New Year. But Becky keeps it the same cuz look at her biceps! You can’t get more jacked than her! FLEX! Cole has them rein it in and wants a resolution for himself. He wants to have a good time. Uh… Well, moving on, here’s moment 8, and the All Mighty, Bobby Lashley.

8/21/21 – Goldberg VS Bobby Lashley w/ MVP!

The WCW icon is aiming at Lashley from a corner, and he runs in, but MVP gets Lashley out of the ring! Goldberg goes out and around the way, he still SPEARS Lashley down! Goldberg drags Lashley up and into the ring, goes up the steps as Lashley flounders, and he aims again. Lashley flounders out of the ring, the ref is busy with him so MVP SMACKS Goldberg in the leg with his cane! Goldberg hobbles, but he just glares at MVP! But then he turns around into a CHOP BLOCK from Lashley! Lashley aims from the corner now, but Goldberg bails out and flops to the floor. MVP wants the ring count at least, but Lashley goes out to get Goldberg.

Lashley hauls Goldberg up to a fireman’s carry, and then he POSTS Goldberg’s knee! The Rocky Mountain Machine is dismantling Goldberg! Lashley puts Goldberg in the ring, the ref checks on him, but Goldberg can barely stand up on that bad leg. The ref calls it, Lashley wins!

Winner: Bobby Lashley, by referee stoppage

The All Mighty wins, but he’s not satisfied! MVP throws a chair in and Lashley picks it up. Lashley aims at Goldberg, and he JAMS the chair into the leg! Goldberg tries to get up but Lashley SMACKS him in the leg, then SMACKS him again! And again! Goldberg still tries to get up but Lashley SMACKS his leg again! And again! Lashley is ruthless, but will he be world champion again after Day 1?

 

SmackDown returns and goes back to July 19th, 2021

Charlotte Flair defended her title against Rhea Ripley and retained it, only to lose it when Nikki A.S.H. cashed in her Money in the Bank contract! Nikki went from Almost a Superhero to definitely a Raw Women’s Champion! Becky says that was a great moment for the underdog. But lucky for Nikki, Becky wasn’t champion then. Pat usually likes heroes like Hancock, but how could you not become a fan of Nikki? And there’s no rest for the weary, because moment 7 was how Charlotte got number 12!

8/21/21 – Raw Women’s Championship Triple Threat: Nikki A.S.H. VS Rhea Ripley VS Charlotte Flair!

Rhea and Nikki double whip Charlotte, Charlotte holds ropes to KICK Rhea and ROCK Nikki. Charlotte throws Nikki out, then back drops Rhea out! Rhea does her best to land on her feet but she still falls over! Charlotte then goes to a corner, climbs up top, and SUPPER TORNILLO MOONSAULTS onto them both!! Fans are all fired up for that one! Charlotte paces, drags Rhea into the ring, and gets the FIGURE FOUR! Then bridges up, FIGURE EIGHT!! Rhea grits her teeth, claws at Charlotte’s leg, but Nikki SPLASHES down on them all! Rhea clutches her leg, Nikki gets Charlotte up! TWISTING NECKBREAKER! Cover, but Rhea breaks it!!

Rhea gets her bad leg moving, drags Nikki up and pump handles, but Nikki turns Riptide into DDT! Rhea flops out of the ring and Nikki misses her chance! But Nikki goes back to the corner, back up top, and fans fire up as she leaps, but FLOPS as Charlotte moves! Charlotte gets the legs, FIGURE FOUR! And right to FIGURE EIGHT!! Nikki endures, reaches, crawls, but she can’t hold out! Nikki taps, Charlotte wins!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission (NEW Raw Women’s Champion)

The Queen is back on her throne! This is number 12 (14 if you count NXT), and she’s been holding onto it even through the WWE Draft. Will anyone ever take Charlotte’s crown again?

 

Everyone loves Rick Boogs!

Especially when he rocks with Shinsuke NakamurAAAAA~! Pat McAfee is their biggest fan, of course. He even uses a bottle of cider as his guitar. Becky says he’s missing the point, though. You gotta evolve, change, adapt. Pat’s been going like this for a year or something now? Hey, whoa. Becky is Pat’s wife’s favorite superstar, got her into liking wrestling, so Pat won’t hold that against her. But it feels like the first time every time! Cole says Nakamura has been a key part of a roller coaster year for Baron Corbin. Pent house, to outhouse, back to pent house. King Corbin, Sad Bumass Corbin, now “Happy” Corbin. Will anyone ever send him back to being down in the dumps?

 

WWE looks to the names that will lead the way into the New Year.

Damian Priest is WWE United States Champion and continues to use both light and dark to shine in the light. Omos is more than colossal! Veer Mahaan is the lion still on his way, while Reggie redefines what it is to be agile in the ring. XIa Li is the Protector, while Los Lotharios are hard hitting heartthrobs. Austin Theory is ready to impress everyone, especially Vince McMahon. But Becky sees these new faces as just more people to beat. Cole says this year’s WrestleMania had a huge in-ring debut for a huge celebrity: Bad Bunny! So many music awards, and even a killer WrestleMania entrance!

4/10/21 – Damian Priest & Bad Bunny VS The Miz & John Morrison!

It’s a classic WWE story: a top celebrity is a guest; a couple superstars try to use them to expand their brand; the celebrity isn’t really for it and politely declines; the superstars escalate it to a personal level; the celebrity and superstars have a match. The Grammy award winning artist has an Archer of Infamy on his side, but is that enough to take down the Greatest Tag Team of the 21st Century?

Bad Bunny enters in on the top of a semi truck!

Skip to later, Priest elbows Morrison in one corner, then elbows Miz in the other! BROKEN ARROW sends Miz at Morrison! Choke grip for the SOUTH OF HEAVEN SLAM! Cover, but Morrison breaks it! Bunny ROCKS Morrison but Morrison kicks back! Morrison ‘n’ Miz regroup, but they get DOUBLE BELL CLAPS, and DOUBLE FALCON ARROWS! Double covers, TWO!! Bunny and Priest almost had it, but they regroup as Miz ‘n’ Morrison bail out. Fans fire up for Priest & Bunny as Bunny whips Priest to FLY onto Miz ‘n’ Morrison! Priest then signals to Bunny, time to see if a rabbit can fly! Bunny climbs up top just like the Rumble, for a SUPER CROSSBODY!!

Direct hit and Priest gets Miz in the ring. Priest reels Miz in, dragon sleeper, but no lights just yet! SKULL CRUSHING FINALE!! Cover, Bunny breaks it!! Fans are thunderous and Miz is shocked! Priest crawls back over, Miz keeps him from his corner but Priest boots him away! Morrison trips Bunny, but Bunny hits back! Bunny reels Morrison in, for a DESTROYER?!! Even Priest is shocked! Priest then BOOTS Miz down, roars and brings him up for an Electric Chair. Bunny tags in, CROSSBODY DOOMSDAY! Cover, Bunny & Priest win!!

Winners: Damian Priest & Bad Bunny, by pinfall

Now that’s a smash hit! Bad Bunny is feeling GOODT, as Booker might say! Will there no longer be any doubt or disrespect from Miz ‘n’ Morrison? Does Bunny have a future in the ring?

 

When it came to Edge, Seth Rollins took it to another level.

It become one of the most personal rivalries in a long, long time. Becky says Edge is just lucky he didn’t try that with them. She’d be the one beating Edge down. Cole is excited to go to the party but Pat says he’s not invited. But they are halfway through the countdown with moment number 5!

Crown Jewel 10/21/21 – Hell in a Cell: Edge VS Seth Rollins!

What started seven years ago with a vicious physical threat could now end with serious physical trauma. The Rated R Superstar wants to finally exorcise The Visionary from his life, and now they’re both going through Hell! Who survives this dance with the devil inside the sinister steel?

Skip to Rollins brandishing a chair. He wants to copy Edge’s most dangerous invention. CON-CHAIR- NO!! Edge trips Rollins and goes for the arm! Rollins scrambles but Edge still has the CROSSFACE! Rollins crawls, and he reaches for that broken crossbar! Rollins JAMS Edge in the face!! Fans boo and Edge checks his eye. Rollins gets a chair and tosses it to then ROLLING ELBOW it into Edge’s face! Rollins hurries up top, FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Edge is still in this and Rollins is seething. Rollins digs at Edge’s face, throws down hands, then paces about. Rollins goes out and looks under the ring. Rollins brings out a TABLE!

Fans fire up as Rollins sets up the table at ringside. Edge stirs, Rollins stalks up behind him. Rollins clamps on and digs fingers into Edge’s face! Rollins only lets off to reel Edge in. Edge fights the bomb and swings, but into a double underhooks! UNPRETTIER!! Cover, TWO!! Not even a shoutout to Edge’s old pal could win this won! Fans again say “This is Awesome!” but Rollins is frustrated. Rollins drags Edge back to a drop zone, he goes up top, but Edge SHOVES Rollins off! Rollins hits steel then falls through the table!! Fans lose their minds for that one! Edge drags himself out of the ring and brings Rollins out of the wreckage. Edge puts Rollins in the ring, covers, TWO!!

Cut to Edge and Rollins atop the ladder! Edge headbutts Rollins, climbs up to join Rollins, but Rollins claws eyes to stop the superplex. Rollins CLUBS Edge more, then gets up to SUPER SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB Edge through the table!! Cover, TWO!?!? HOW?!? Rollins throws the table scraps out of the ring in anger, and thinks of what he has to do next. Rollins goes out, looks around under the ring, and he brings out the toolbox! But Rollins also looks around for more. Edge staggers up to his feet and Rollins goes back in after him. SUPERKICK! Edge somehow stays up so Rollins kicks the legs out. Rollins wants to relive MSG, SUPERKICK!

Edge flops over and Rollins wants him to get up. But then Rollins goes to the toolbox and brings out a CHAIN! Rollins wraps the chain around his boot like a brass knuckles! Rollins aims at Edge as Edge slowly sits back up. Rollins grins as he FULL METAL SUPERKICKS!! The referee checks on Edge and somehow Edge is still conscious. Rollins says, “This is how your fairy tale ends!” Rollins puts Edge’s head on a chair, goes back to a corner, runs back in, but Edge moves! LOW BLOW with the chair edge!! Edge manages to stand up again, Rollins sputters as he gets back up, Edge SUPERKICKS Rollins down! Edge grits his teeth as he steadies himself and takes aim again.

Rollins gets up for another SUPERKICK! Edge takes the chain off Rollins’ boot and uses it for the GLASGOW GRIN! Rollins wants to use a wrench but Edge gets it and he uses THAT for the GLASGOW GRIN!!! Rollins endures but Edge lets him go?! Edge gets a chair, puts Rollins’ head on it, and runs in to CURB STOMP Rollins to the chair!!! Cover, Edge wins!

Winner: Edge, by pinfall

The Rated R Superstar uses Rollins’ own move to finish this! Has Edge finally moved past The Architect to continue his comeback? As for Rollins, we know he is in the WWE Championship Fatal 4 Way. Can he redeem himself from this loss to once again reign on Raw?

 

2021 was the Year of EST!

After all, she started it off winning the Women’s Royal Rumble and then winning in the main event of WrestleMania 37. Becky says the first half of this year was Bianca Belair’s. The second belonged to Becky! Becky stopped the momentum right there! But the moment we’re focusing on is Sasha Banks VS Bianca Belair, the second time a women’s match headlined WrestleMania. And who did it first? Becky! That’s who! Trailblazer Becks! Beating Rhonda and Charlotte in the main event!

 

SmackDown Women’s Championship: Sasha Banks VS Bianca Belair!

The Boss and the EST are making history in this main event. Black history, women’s history, WRESTLING history! But all of that is just icing on the cake. Who proves they are THE woman and walk out of Raymond James Stadium with the SmackDown Women’s Championship?

The introductions are made, the title is raised, and WWE saved the B-E-S-T for last on Night One!

Both women are emotional given all that has built to this moment, and the fans are right there with them. But both women hold back the tears because it’s time to handle business. They tie up, go around, and Sasha puts Bianca in a corner. Sasha claws at Bianca but the ref backs her off. Sasha acts like she doesn’t know what was wrong. Fans rally and duel, “Let’s Go, Sasha!” “E S T!” Sasha and Bianca tie up, Sasha throws Bianca by her hair! Sasha says SHE is the best, but Bianca kips up because SHE’S the best. Bianca shoves, Sasha shoves, repeat, then Sasha side steps but Bianca handsprings and catches Sasha’s leap for a toss!

Sasha sunset flips, Bianca blocks and handsprings again. Sasha avoids it, but Bianca says kiss this. Sasha and Bianca go again, Sasha wants the stabber but Bianca arm-drags free. Bianca tilt-o-whirls Sasha to the torture rack but Sasha scrambles free! Bianca says it was that close. Sasha says it was not and then kicks low to fire forearms. Sasha runs, but Bianca blocks the wheelbarrow to get the chicken wings! GlamEST- No! Sasha victory rolls Bianca out of the ring. Bianca steadies herself but Sasha baseball slide dropkicks! Bianca is right back, blocks a punch but Sasha dodges. Sasha knees but that’s blocked!

Bianca fireman’s carries but Sasha slips out to hotshot Bianca, then bump her hard off buckles! Bianca falls to the floor, the ring count starts and Sasha builds speed, to DIVE! Direct hit at the ramp, but Bianca rolls it through!? Bianca pops Sasha up to then military press her, and carry her up the stairs with her!! Bianca TOSSES Sasha in hard, then gets in. Sasha is angry, she dodges and dropkicks! Cover, ONE!! Bianca grits her teeth, Sasha looms over her, and stands on the ponytail! Sasha taunts Bianca right to her face, then runs, but Bianca follows to run Sasha over! Bianca drags Sasha up, scoops her and says she is the E! S! T!

Bianca does squats before the SLAM, then handsprings to SPLASH, but Sasha blocks to get the ponytail! Sasha fires off KNEE after KNEE, then runs to SHINING WIZARD! Cover, TWO! Sasha is furious but she rains down rights and lefts! Cover, ONE!! Sasha paces around, stalks Bianca to a corner, and digs her boot in! The ref counts, Sasha lets off, but comes back to stomp Bianca and bump her off more buckles. Sasha snapmares Bianca into a chinlock and clamps on tight. Bianca endures but Sasha shifts to a motorcycle stretch. Fans rally as Bianca endures and fights her way up. Bianca fights up, elbows free and whips, but Sasha reverses. Sasha runs in but is put on the apron.

Sasha KNEES back, Bianca sits down, and Sasha swings in for a METEOR- NO! Bianca gets Sasha around for a SPINEBUSTER! Bianca and Sasha both roll out but Sasha has the braid! She tries to pull Bianca but Bianca YANKS Sasha into a post! Sasha comes around the way, METEORA but into the barriers! The ring count is climbing! It goes past 7, they both get in at 9, Bianca cradles then dead lifts Sasha to a REBOUND Suplex, but still stalls to do it again! Sasha fights but can’t get free as Bianca just powers her back up! Sasha keeps trying but Bianca SLAMS her down first! Both women are down but fans fire up!

The ref checks on both women, they start to stir, and Bianca goes after Sasha first. They both pull hair, Sasha ROCKS Bianca with a right! Sasha throws her armbands off, gets Bianca’s braid as part of the knuckle lock, but Bianca disrupts the flying arm-drag to reel Sasha in for a LARIAT! Bianca rallies with shoulders then a dropkick! Bianca kips up, for a STANDING SHOOTING STAR! Bianca claps at Sasha, RAMS into the corner, but lets off as the ref counts. Sasha BOOTS back! Sasha runs, into the chicken wings! GlamEST Slam! Sasha is in a drop zone, and Bianca heads up top. Bianca aims, leaps, 450 INTO KNEES! Sasha saves herself at the last moment!

Both women are down again and fans rally back up. Sasha is up first and she brings Bianca in but Bianca slides to sunset, TWO! Sasha hurries, gets a backslide, TWO! Sasha KNEES Bianca, runs, but Bianca blocks the rana to get a POWERBOMB! High stack, dead lift, and Bianca POWERBOMBS again! High stack to cover, TWO! Bianca still has Sasha, but Sasha turns the dead lift into a FACEBUSTER! Both women are down once again but the fans still rally. Sasha crawls over to Bianca in a corner. Sasha stomps her again and again but lets off as the ref counts. Sasha stands Bianca up, brings her around in the corner, Sasha uses the ropes for an added boost in the TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!!

Bianca survives and shocks Sasha! Sasha goes to a corner as fans build to another rally. Sasha is up top, she leaps for the FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Sasha is beside herself now as Bianca gets away to the apron. Sasha storms over, drags Bianca up to kick her, then HOTSHOT the arm on the rope! Then Sasha RAMS Bianca into steel steps! Sasha puts Bianca back in, asks what time it is, and Cole says #BossTime. Sasha tilt-o-whirls but Bianca resists the takedown, only for Sasha to use the braid! HAIR TIE BANK STATEMENT!! Bianca endures, reaches for ropes, drags herself and Sasha over, but Sasha kicks the ropes to roll this away! But Bianca rolls it back to get the ropebreak!!

Sasha uses Bianca’s braid to choke her, then trap her! The ref counts as Sasha stomps, but Sasha lets off at 4. Sasha is fuming, but fans are rallying, and Sasha cools off while Bianca flounders against ropes. Sasha stalks over, drags Bianca up, “You’re the ROOKIE!” Bianca RAMS Sasha into a corner! And RAMS in more and more! Bianca puts Sasha up top, climbs up to join her, and Bianca says she IS the EST. But Sasha fights with furious body shots! Sasha shoves Bianca, but Bianca handsprings! The kick is blocked, Sasha puts Bianca in a Tree of Woe! Sasha stomps away on the legs, then stomps Bianca in the chest! Sasha stands up to WOE STOMP-

NO! Bianca moved, Sasha hobbles but runs back, only to knee buckles! Bianca adjusts, FlyEST 450!! Cover, TWO!?!?? Bianca is having the biggEST freak out of her life because she thought she had it!! Fans know “This is Awesome!” and Bianca gest the maddEST she’s been in a long time. She drags Sasha up, torture racks, “THIS IS MY TIME!” But Sasha lands out of the KOD to grab the braid! Bianca yanks it free and uses it to LASH Sasha!! Sasha staggers, Bianca torture racks, but Sasha slips out! Sasha hops on, no stabber as Bianca is too strong! They go around and around, torture rack to KISS OF DEATH!! Cover, Bianca wins!!!!

Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall (NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion)

WHOA!! WrESTleMania is a reality!! Bianca just got the greatEST win in her already amazing career, and all of Raymond James Stadium comes out of their seat! Bianca’s family is ringside and they’re the most excited of all! Bianca proves she is the B-E-S-T on SmackDown! Will there be no stopping Bianca from proving she’s the Best of the Best in ALL the WWE?

 

Pat McAfee shares a “vintage” Michael Cole moment.

It was July 18th, 2021, at the end of Money in the Bank. Roman Reigns told the whole world they were going to acknowledge him. And then JOHN CENA showed up! Cole’s reaction is of course the whole reason Pat loves that moment. Fort Worth practically explodes as Cena is back! Cena says he missed us all, and he gets in the ring! Cena gets to run the ropes and throw his hat again for the first time in over a year! Roman and Heyman are the only ones not happy about this. Cena steps closer, and closer, and looks at the Universal Championship. Then with his hand gesture says, “You Can’t See Me!” Fans are thunderous for the return of the 16 time world champion, but is he planning on making the 17th universal?

Pat pretends he didn’t see Cena at first, but he was back and it was awesome! Becky coughs, and wants them to talk about her return. Right, that’s moment number three! The return of- Wait, she’s only number three? Number three?! Who decided this!? Who!? THREE!? She should be number one! Just roll tape!

8/21/21 – SmackDown Women’s Championship: Bianca Belair VS Sasha Banks Carmella Becky Lynch!

The EST was meant to face The Boss, but that didn’t work out. The (self-proclaimed) Most Beautiful Woman in All of WWE wanted her shot, but then THE MAN CAME ‘ROUND! Even Bianca was star struck! Mella wasn’t, though, because she doesn’t get her opportunity now. Becky gets the mic to talk to Bianca. “Well what do ya say The EST and The Man blow the roof off this joint for the SmackDown Women’s Championship?” Fans are all for it, that’s for sure! Bianca shakes her head and says, “Let’s go!” Becky’s all fired up, and the match is set! The bell rings and fans go nuts! Becky and Bianca circle, then Becky offers a handshake. Bianca takes it, Becky SUCKER PUNCHES her!

MAN HANDLE SLAM!! Cover, Becky wins!!!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by pinfall (NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion)

That wasn’t even 30 seconds!! Becky’s back and on top in the fastest fashion we’ve ever seen! Bianca is beside herself, what will it take to get back to the title?

Back in the present, Becky asks Cole, “Is this you?” Did he do this? No! She gives him way too much credit. Pat says Cole had a vote, though. Cole says she should’ve been all ten moments. She agrees, just look at what she’s done. Pat says she could’ve even gone 11. But the top- er, next two moments of 2021 are on their way, after the break.

 

The WWE Draft giveth, and the Draft taketh away.

Drew McIntyre is a great pick-up for SmackDown with the Claymore and his sword, but then Becky Lynch moved to Raw. But we also saw Big E become WWE World Champion! That was goosebumps for many fans, including Becky’s mom. The penultimate moment is here!

After Bobby Lashley VS Randy Orton…

Lashley hobbles his way into the ring, and here comes BIG E!! The cash-in was promised, and the cash-in is coming! Lashley realizes the situation he’s put himself in now because it’s happening!!

WWE World Championship Money in the Bank Cash-In: Bobby Lashley VS Big E!

Big E wants this to get going but Lashley claims his bad leg is reason enough to not see this through. Big E SLAPS Lashley right across the face! Lashley is pissed and wants this match now, so the bell rings! Lashley tackles Big E and rains down furious fists! Lashley digs his fingers in Big E’s face and then drags Big E up to bump him off buckles. Lashley runs to clothesline, then goes again, but Big E dodges to come back and CHOP BLOCK the bad leg! Big E gets Lashley up, BIG- NO! Lashley slips out of the Ending to SPEAR Big E! Cover, TWO?!? Big E shocks Lashley, and stands right up! Fans are thunderous, Lashley throws hands and reels Big E in, gut wrench but Big E slips out!

Big E scoops, for the BIG ENDING!! Cover, Big E wins!!!

Winner: Big E, by pinfall (NEW WWE World Champion)

The cash-in was called like Babe Ruth’s homers and it came through like ’em, too! Bean Town celebrates with The New Day as they celebrate with Big E, right down to the pyro from the titantron! But these two meet again in Day 1’s Fatal 4 Way! Will the result be the same for the Powerhouse of Positivity? Or will Lashley redeem himself for this fall in the Fall?

 

SmackDown returns once more.

They’ve talked a lot about 2021 being the Year of the Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. But Roman is not the number one moment. That belongs to The Beast. Pat knows who!

After Roman Reigns VS John Cena…

The Head of the Table was still reigning, defending, undisputed WWE Universal Champion, but then the music hit! THE BEAST! THE CONQUEROR! BRRROCK! LESNARRR! And Vegas went NUTS seeing him go down the ramp and to the ring! Roman is furious, Heyman’s “seen a ghost,” but Lesnar circles the ring. “The alpha male of our species” goes up the steel steps so he could look Roman eye to eye. Roman shakes his head but Lesnar gets in the ring with him. “This is Awesome!” as these two stare down again after a long, long time away. But Roman backs away and fans boo. Roman holds up his title, but will he be holding onto it for much longer?

Back in the present, Cole says, “There you have it.” Becky sees what’s going on. There was a misunderstanding. Becky, Brock, they should’ve been swapped. Well, whatever Becky thinks, Roman and Lesnar are on a collision course for Day 1, the title on the line. Who leaves Atlanta the ULTIMATE reigning! Defending! Undisputed! Universal Heavyweight Champion of the WWE? Roman… Reigns…?! Or BRRRRROCK! LESNARRRRR?!

 

Becky closes us out.

“2022 about to be welcomed to the Big Time. We’re kicking it off right. Big Time Becks defending her title, and it’s gonna be the same way. 2022 is gonna be the same way as 2019, 2020, 2021. 2022 is gonna be the Year of the Big Time. Big Time Becks defends her title.” Cole can’t wait, he’s gonna party with them! No he’s not. Cole thanks them for being here and for us tuning in. Pat pops the corks, pours a drink for Becky and himself, then lets Cole just have the bottle. You’re the best, Cole! But they’ll text him where they’re going, right? Uh, maybe. Bye. Pat takes the bottle back anyway. Well, have a great New Year’s, WWE Universe!


My Thoughts:

I can pretty much give my thoughts already since we all know this is going to be a year-in-review show. They obviously couldn’t do a full SmackDown episode tonight with the PPV on a Saturday, and being New Year’s Eve, pretty sure everyone’s partying and/or watching New Year’s Eve specials. But this top ten list definitely has great moments for WWE, and in some cases, a great way for those who didn’t see these moments the first time to see them for free on TV. So from all of us here at The Chairshot, Happy New Year!

My Score: 8.1/10


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More From Japan

NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.187 ~ 29TH SEPTEMBER 2022

Keiji Mutoh continues his Retirement tour and bringing out faces from the past! NOAH has a new champion! Interesting inter-promotional battles on the horizon as well!

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NEWS

Kaito Kiyomiya is the new GHC Heavyweight Champion, nominates Kazuyuki Fujita as challenger

Following provocation by Kenoh not only saying that he was going to be the one to inherit Keiji Mutoh’s Shining Wizard and the memory of Keiji Mutoh himself (and the outright claim that Kiyomiya would simply forget about Mutoh once Mutoh had retired, which Kiyomiya didn’t even bother responding to), Kenoh went one step further at their last pre match on the 19th September by pulling Keiji Mutoh’s pose, kissing his hand, putting it to Kiyomiya’s lips and then exploding it. Kiyomiya erupted in fury at this, it was far more than any verbal provocation of Kenoh’s, which I guess he has learned to ignore over the years. They fought for the GHC Heavyweight in Nagoya on September 25th, with Kiyomiya emerging victorious following a modified Shining Wizard. As Kenoh left it was like a spell was broken. Kenoh went backstage and muttered about Kiyomiya being the company favorite and in his interview the day after winning the title, Kiyomiya said nothing about Keiji Mutoh. Mutoh as we know had been a focus of both Kiyomiya and Kenoh leading up to the title match.

Back in the ring, Kiyomiya called out his next opponent. Kazuyuki Fujita. Fujita came to the ring, carrying a can of beer which he swigged from. Getting in the ring he circled Kiyomiya and took off his t-shirt. Kiyomiya said that he was expecting a fight, but Fujita did something that no other NOAH wrestler had (or perhaps would) do, and that was to throw himself at Kiyomiya and then make nuzzling motions against his head, while he licked the belt. Kiyomiya pushed him off, and Fujita retaliated by pouring beer over his head.

Kiyomiya screaming that he hated beer was met with Fujita toasting him from the ramp and yelling “Kampaiii” (“cheers”) after a fight had broken out, and Kiyomiya threw him from the ring.

 

Backstage, Kiyomiya said his reason for nominating Kazuyuki Fujita as his challenger was that he had never been defeated for the GHC Heavyweight. Fujita had to give up the belt due to Coronavirus. It has been a recurring theme of most of the GHC Heavyweight champions since Go Shiozaki, that Fujita has been the man to beat in order to cement yourself as champion. Kiyomiya was picking up that torch.

As for Fujita, he played it as if he was a Casanova and had been asked out on a date by warning Kiyomiya that when you experience Fujita, you can never go back because you were never going to be the same. He was going to “make it a night to remember”. He sipped his beer, and licked his lips afterwards.

Title match has been set for NOAH’s return to Ariake on the 30th October.

STINGER lose, NOAH Junior Regulars win, enter Tadasuke (with a chair)

Following a period of brutal attacks on Seiki Yoshioka (by the end of the match he could hardly use one side of his body) and a title challenge where Atsushi Kotoge was bloodied up, The NOAH Junior Regulars emerged victorious and bought the tag titles home to their unit. They had very little time to celebrate their win and put ice on their wounds, when Tadasuke burst in and attacked Atsushi Kotoge with a chair while Hi69 beat up on the already incapacitated Seiki Yoshioka. Tadasuke (wild grin on his face) got on the microphone and made a challenge for the tag titles. Then Tadasuke wiped the blood from Kotoge that had got on his hands on his hair, leaving red streaks in the peroxide. Tadasuke was even waving the bloodied seat of the chair, which had detached during the attack, around backstage.

Title match will be on the 30th October when NOAH return to the Ariake complex.

Takashi Sugiura and Satoshi Kojima, NOAH’s most dysfunctional tag team, win the GHC Heavyweight tag titles

It must be said that with the combined efforts of Satoshi Kojima and Hideki Suzuki, we almost have our Sugi back.

At the press conference/title match signing, Sugi and Kojima appeared dressed in suits and wearing dark glasses. They looked something between The Men In Black and “Dangerous Detectives” (as Tokyo Sports called them  which stems from a Japanese TV show). Hideki Suzuki was on form, not only mistranslating Timothy Thatcher and stating at one point that Thatcher said he came to Japan to “beat you up” and being rude to a journalist for being overfamiliar with his “punk mouth”, the highlight of the press conference was his long close up stare at Sugi, who was trying not to laugh.

The dysfunctional team won the titles in Nagoya on the 25th September, and despite their falling out during the match, Sugi actually gave Kojima a proper handshake. Then they went back to squabbling backstage over Kojima talking on the mic when it was Sugi who got the win. No challengers have come forward as of yet.

HAYATA retains the GHC Junior, Ninja Mack makes his long awaited challenge

It had been an emotional match for YO-HEY, and for fans. Cutting out the aerial techniques that had characterized their earlier matches, both he and HAYATA demonstrated how much they had both evolved by concentrating on a more NOAH based ground attack with submissions. YO-HEY might have failed in the challenge, but he had at least gotten one win over HAYATA in the pre-match. He knew the title match would be different and he would need to level up, and afterwards he reflected and said he would start from rock bottom in order to make his next challenge. What fans had noticed that while things had changed between them, some things were the same, such as YO-HEY coloring his hair, his tongue (and even his boxer shorts) purple, which is HAYATA’s color, and HAYATA not speaking as much as he has done in previous title challenges, as he is content to let YO-HEY talk. After the match, Ninja Mack came to challenge. HAYATA accepted by saying, that he was “finally interested in the belt” and acknowledging him as challenger. Title match will of course be on the 30th October. But HAYATA is not immediately going into a fallout match with Ninja Mack at NOAH’s next event on the 30th, but is having a tag match against YO-HEY.

Keiji Mutoh’s Retirement Road

Keiji Mutoh has been very busy.

– 23rd September: Great Muta appears in AEW

The Great Muta made a surprise appearance in AEW to rescue Sting, who had been tied to a chair by Darby Allen. Muta came to the ring, advanced on Sting and then turned and spat green mist into the face of Allen and then reunited with Sting. Keiji Mutoh announced that Sting would attend Muta’s retirement on the 22nd in Yokohama, but has not said in what capacity, although it is assumed that they will tag. Regarding any further appearances in America, Mutoh said he didn’t think it was likely, but did warn that The Great Muta may pop up somewhere as you never knew where he would turn up next.

– 25th September: Keiji Mutoh Retirement Road: Love Forever 2

Keiji Mutoh teamed with his junior Kazuyuki Fujita to take on Mutoh’s classmate, Masakatsu Funaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima, who Mutoh has known since he was a boy, and still calls affectionately “Katsuhiko”. Nakajima said he was going to break up this class reunion, and while Mutoh did get kicked (Nakajima smirked and said it was fun when Mutoh later complained his leg still hurt) but it was Fujita who got the worst of it. During the match, Nakajima pulled out Mutoh’s Space Rolling Elbow. Mutoh was initially not pleased, but then he became very happy to see it and said that he thought that “Katsuhiko” did it because he had some small measure of feeling for him. I think had Nakajima been a more acrobatic wrestler, Mutoh might have handed it to him. Mutoh won the match with The Shining Wizard, pinning Nakajima. This was Mutoh’s farewell to Nagoya, his classmate, his junior and Nakajima.

– 26th September: Hiroshi Tanahashi comes to the press conference and a tag match is announced

Hiroshi Tanahashi presented 38 roses to Mutoh when he came to the press conference. Each rose symbolizes a year of Mutoh’s career. Mutoh joked that he should have laid them at his feet, as had happened in boxing recently. Tanahashi said he wasn’t good at ad-libbing, and then introduced himself as “one of the greatest New Japan talents in the past one hundred years”. During the press conference, a tag match was announced. New Japan’s Hiroshi Tanahashi, Togi Makabe and Honma Tomoaki will team together against the team of Naomichi Marufuji, Keiji Mutoh and Keiji Mutoh. This will take place on the 30th October. Mutoh has not given up hope of appearing one final time in the New Japan ring.

– 16th October: A new match is announced

NOAH announced that due to fan demand, Keiji Mutoh will be appearing in Fukuoka. He will tag with Ninja Mack and Satoshi Kojima against Naomichi Marufuji, HAYATA and Jack Morris. Satoshi Kojima is of course connected to Mutoh through All Japan and New Japan, Naomichi Marufuji has wanted a match against Mutoh (he will be tagging with him as we know on the 30th October) and HAYATA has been a big fan of Mutoh for a while, as he has influenced a lot of his style and persona. HAYATA thinks of himself and The Great Muta as “The Phantom Team”. Muta doesn’t like to speak and HAYATA said, neither does he.

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima head overseas

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima will appear for Evolution Pro Wrestling in New York for their anniversary show on November 12th. Marufuji’s match is yet to be announced, but Nakajima will take on Josh Alexander. Alexander has said he wonders how Nakajima is going to kick after he snaps his ankle. They will also appear at King of Indies in San Francisco on November 19th.

NOSAWA vs Katsuhiko Nakajima (and Kenoh)

After being beaten up by Katsuhiko Nakajima who gave him some pretty stiff soccerball kicks outside the ring at Korakuen Hall recently, (although he would tell you that Nakajima tried to beat him up), NOSAWA Rongai has been on a quest to face Nakajima in a match. Then he threw in Kenoh, so it could be himself and Eita versus Kongoh. Hideki Suzuki told him that he was probably going to die, but NOSAWA has taken no notice and kept on with his demand. His demand has not been met because rather than facing Nakajima and Kenoh, NOAH have booked him against rookies Yasutaka Yano and Kai Fujimura. NOSAWA thinks he is having to go through some kind of trial.

ELSEWHERE IN NOAH

– Hideki Suzuki has hinted that perhaps Takashi Sugiura might like to get back online.

– Yoshiki Inamura and YO-HEY continued their guild, despite the fact that YO-HEY said someone attacked and burned their castle down. A picture was taken of YO-HEY and Inamura playing the game, with YO-HEY seated cross legged on Inamura, who was doing a bridge in the ring. We have seen Inamura used as a weight, but is he now used as furniture?

– NOAH’s Director, Narihiro Takeda, wrote on a NOAH Note that he would like for Darby Allin to come to NOAH one day.

– Tadasuke got a match thrown out by ripping off Alejandro’s mask. Tadasuke did not care, and did not even respond when Alejandro asked if he wanted a mask for himself?

– Daiki Inaba had his long awaited singles match with Katsuhiko Nakajima, but failed to revenge himself for Nakajima’s behavior in W-1. Nakajima even went for the cocky pin by grinning and leaning on Inaba.

– There was usual chaos at the NOAH Junior Space sessions as Daisuke Harada is not there to take control. Atsushi Kotoge seems to be the main culprit, forgetting to invite Seiki Yoshioka in and at one time even failing to press record.

– It’s probably best that Daiki Inaba, who apparently likes to be in the nip backstage, was not present when NOAH was at Differ. It was bad enough that Sugi used to wander around naked…

– Mitsuharu Misawa wrote in a diary entry for 2006 about filming an advert for THE LEAVE, and having to sing first thing in the morning while they were filming. Probably due to the fact that he had a problem with his throat anyway, was a heavy smoker and had taken “so many chops and kicks” to it in his career, he said he sounded very hoarse.

EVENT RECAPS AND POST MATCH PROMOS

SUNNY VOYAGE – September 19th 

Event recap

Post match promos

N-INNOVATION – September 21st 

Event recap

Post match promos

GRAND SHIP 2022 IN NAGOYA/KEIJI MUTOH RETIREMENT ROAD – September 25th

Event recap

Post match promos

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

  • GHC Heavyweight Champion: Kaito Kiyomiya
    Challenger: Kazuyuki Fujita, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Junior Champion: HAYATA
    Challenger: Ninja Mack, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: KojiSugi (Satoshi Kojima & Takashi Sugiura)
    Challengers: TBA
  • GHC Junior Tag Champions: The NOAH Junior Regulars (Atsushi Kotoge & Seiki Yoshioka)
    Challengers: Kongoh Juniors (Tadasuke & Hi69), [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC National Champion: Masakatsu Funaki
    Challenger: Masa Kitamiya, SUNNY VOYAGE 2022 – Friday September 30th (Bandaijima Multi-Purpose Square Ogama)

(This event will not be broadcast live, but hopefully this match will be shown via Instagram)

THIS WEEK IN NOAH

(October 2022 schedule)

– Friday, October 7th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse/ABEMA (live)

– Saturday, October 8th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse (live)

Note about broadcasts

Unless you are living in Japan or have a VPN you know is compatible with ABEMA, please do not subscribe to the service. For fans living outside of Japan, a subscription to WrestleUniverse would be better as they show more NOAH shows than ABEMA, and usually the events get uploaded very quickly. ABEMA broadcasts are only in Japanese, you can only watch them live, and this is the only NOAH they show. They do not broadcast old shows as these belong to Samurai TV.

BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES

Wednesday, 5th October: Keiji Mutoh debut anniversary (38)

Wednesday, 5th October: Seiki Yoshioka debut anniversary (14)

LINKS

“I want to protect this belt for the rest of my life”, new GHC champion Kiyomiya holds morning press conference to establish a new NOAH landscape

Mutoh’s Retirement Road, tag match against Tanahashi in round three: “I want to grab the secret of secrets”, Tanahashi presents 38 roses

Great Muta teaming up with Sting for last match? “Agent” Mutoh’s opinion 

“I wonder if I can transmit more” YO-HEY aims to revitalize the junior ark with his first championship

AEW Shock! Great Muta appears in America! Rescues Sting and shake of hands

“Follow Me You Bastards” – Kenoh’s Weekly Pro Column

GHC Junior Match Signing: YO-HEY “Last Chance, I don’t think as my ex partner now”, HAYATA “I don’t feel anything”

“Taka & Satoshi” reveal a “dangerous detective” look, mischievous Suzuki is a reckless interpreter, the GHC tag signing ceremony is thrown into chaos by bizarre question and answer between the two teams

 A “Comrade” and an “Older Brother”, Masakatsu Funaki talks about his thoughts on Mutoh’s retirement, “I want to kick him mercilessly”

BOOK CORNER

“Donmai, Donmai” – Mitsuharu Misawa’s diary

With thanks to: Metal NOAH

GIF taken from WrestleUniverse & NOAH Official YouTube

Picture credit: YO-HEY & NOAH.co.jp


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Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 9.29.2022

Bound for Glory is 8 days away, but Victory Road just happened. What kind of show do we get with some fallout and penultimate hype?

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Victory Road just happened, but Bound for Glory is like 8 nights away? You know I forgot that it was such a quick turn around. That makes tonight weird, since there’s some fallout, but then there’s gonna be a lot of table setting for Bound for Glory.

This episode could be awful. The last week or so haven’t exactly set the world afire, so I’m curious if the highlight really is just gonna be the Monster’s Ball with Masha and Allie Katch.

*insert joke about possibly gagging and balls and Swinger’s Dungeon*

Ratings:

  • Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid: Bullet Club win via Finesse & Fold – **
  • IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve: Myers retains via Roster Cut – ** 1/2
  • Delirious vs Black Taurus: Black Taurus wins via Destination Hellhole – ** 1/4
  • PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath: Rich wins via Phoenix Splash – ** 1/4
  • Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – *** 1/2

Results:

Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid

I don’t think I could care less about this match if I tried. Trey and Laredo are worthless. Laredo has eaten so many terrible losses and Trey is just bad. If the BC Juniors don’t win…I will really question the booking.

My biggest takeaway early is the commentary tries to put over Trey “turning heads”. No he doesn’t, he is legitimately hard to watch and everything that Will Ospreay did wrong in his early career; is basically Trey, but with less personality. Oh did you expect play by play? They isolate Laredo, decent tandem attacks, when Trey comes in it’s bad offense typical Cruiser garbage with laughable facials and body language.

Just typical crap with Trey. Were there some cool high spots? Sure. Do I care? NOPE.

IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve

Steve starts with some of his quirky mat wrestling, Arm Wringers into Drop Toe Holds and face biting. It shocked Myers early, but he takes a small shortcut and starts trying to slow down the psycho from Decay. Steve bounces off the ropes and Myers does his sliding trip move before commercial.

Back from commercial, Snapmare from Steve and the neck twister into some corner offense of Hip Attacks and Sentons for 2. Myers dodges King Kill 33, lands a few pot shots, Implant DDT for 2. Into the corner, face bite, Upside Down, after the rope break Myers grabs the referee to block Steve. Eye Poke, Roster Cut, AND STILL…

Simple, but entertaining. Plus it continues Myers’ arrogant, full of himself for absolutely no reason persona. Oh and he offers up an Open Challenge for Bound for Glory. Maybe Bobby Fish? Someone new? Could be interesting. 

Delirious vs Black Taurus

Delirious is between gibberish and Stone Cold early on while they’re just trading shots. Delirious twists the Nose Ring…in the mask…and Taurus sells it momentarily before stomping the foot and decking him. This is just a weird match. I mean we all know Delirious is weird, but he’s not all comedy; and Taurus is supposed to be legit-ish.

Admittedly, with the exception of Victory Road, it has been years since I’ve watched a Delirious match. So the level of ridiculousness has hit Toru Yano levels, especially after the 10 count Leg Drops. Taurus powders, comes back in, Shoulder Tackle, Blackhole Backbreaker into a Samoan Drop. As soon as Taurus looks in charge, Delirious throws together a combo, eats a Headbutt and then Destination Hellhole.

Sheesh okay after 2 interview segments we get to Honor No More’s victory celebration segment. Just a lot of talking and inaction, so this just goes to feed that weird feeling I had coming into the show because of the timing. Eddie does the usual thing where hates on PCO and accuses him of being the weak link, which is a smart story angle since the fans tend to like PCO’s gimmick and this makes him more sympathetic to casual observers. 

Oh good Taven is talking nowWait did I just say that? DAMN YOU IMPACT! Made me like Matt Taven. Maria stirs the pot a little saying that Eddie is a better wrestler than Josh and Moose…by the implications. 

Thank God, Josh Alexander finally breaks up the segment with…more talking. Okay never mind. Jesus since the end of the Delirious match it was like 15 minutes before Josh finally charged the ring and threw down a bit with Honor No More. Rich Swann and Heath make a bit of the babyface save for Josh, but the numbers are still on Honor No More’s side. Oh MCMG come down in a tracksuit and dress clothes! Someone wasn’t ready to be doing a run in.

PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath

Well isn’t that convenient that four of the men in the donnybrook were supposed to be in a match anyway.

Rich uses his quickness to try and stay ahead of PCO, but PCO cuts him off in the corner into the Corner Hung Codebreaker, then the leaned against the ropes Leg Drop thing. Vincent throws together a T-Bone Suplex into a Flatliner and keeps the vibes flowing on Rich Swann.

PCO clears out Heath, but PCO’s hand gets stuck in the ropes. Vincent eats a flip kick and the Phoenix Splash while PCO and Heath are brawling on the outside after the rope issue with PCO.

Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch

Haymakers and Headbutts start things off as they both hit the ropes and lay out one another with dual clotheslines. Trash can lid duel, Masha gets first contact, but Allie blocks and returns 3 shots. German Suplex from Masha into whipping her with a chain, some choking and then general pulling with the chain in Katch’s mouth or around her eyes. Katch claws at Masha’s eyes to try and get some space.

Headbutts and Biting from Masha as Allie tries to power out of a Bow and Arrow. More chain choking…I’m not sure if this is a wrestling match or BDSM prep at the moment. Ahh Masha needs more Cowbell but Allie cuts her off with a trash can lid. Allie tries a Piledriver through a door, but Masha turns it into an Air Raid Crash into the opposite corner.

Commercial break, and Allie is getting choked again. Spots get a little redundant, slams, chokes, and blood. OHHH – it’s a “Use the Door” chant. I thought it was – nah – I won’t say what I thought it was. Chairshot from Masha misses, but a Snap Suplex from Masha onto the chair gets some usefulness. Straight Right to the gut and an Axe Kick allows Masha to hit the Death Valley Driver onto the propped up chair. Masha goes back to biting after it was only 2. Allie cuts off Masha going to the top, Superplex onto the trash can lid, into a Death Valley Driver through the door – but Masha kicks out.

Allie tries a Piledriver on the apron a few times, but Masha blocks. Masha tries for the Release German to the floor but Allie holds on. Dazed strikes, bites and then a Russian Leg Sweep through the table lays both out for a short time. Masha grabs a black bag, it’s gotta be tacks for Monster’s Ball. Masha eats a few tacks for good show, picks up Allie but Allie fights. Piledriver into the tacks from Allie, only 2. Allie opens a trash can, and empties a bunch of cut up soda cans. Hits Masha with the can, Masha fires, Spinning Heel Kick and then Russian Death Device into the pile of tacks and cans.

Overall Score: 6.25/10

The main event was pretty good, maybe even a little better than I gave it credit for; I’m just sick of seeing some crazy hardcore match so often from Impact. It feels like its weekly, and that’s too damn much. Trey is terrible, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. He sells poorly, he doesn’t tell a story with his wrestling and he looks like an idiot pretending to be something he isn’t; and that’s talented.

Myers is fine with his classic delusional heel style, Delirious gave a bit of a rub to Taurus so I’m guessing he’s probably next up in the X Division. But a straight 15 minutes of interviews and talking is just too damn much especially when the surrounding wrestling isn’t very good or hearty enough to help people tolerate talking time.

I do however love Joe Hendry. So…yeah. There’s always some quirky gimmicks that just resonate well with me, and this is gorgeous.

All in all, decent enough; though next week could be a real banger of a Go Home.


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