So I’ve done this the last two years 2019 – 2020; and each year it changes slightly. Last year I dropped movies from the list because well…we know why. This year the wrestling section will be a bit smaller because I couldn’t sit through any product this year without having to do it for coverage.
That being said, the albums aspect became a more prevalent focus on my writing and most of the ones in my Top 12 were covered in articles here. I managed to find something to help trudge through the here; so let’s see if any of my favorites are a shared feeling!
Top 12 Best Albums:
- Weezer: OK Human – As I said in the article, this album was not met with as glowing of an interpretation as I had. I was definitely in an interesting headspace through this year, so that could’ve helped. But if you enjoy interesting concepts, a theatrical approach to the song transitions and songs with awkward yet upbeat depression beats, this is definitely worth a listen! Notable Songs: All My Favorite Songs // Here Comes The Rain
- Diablo Swing Orchestra: Swagger and Stroll Down the Rabbit Hole – Sweden does it again with bands that come out of nowhere and just really hook me. Calling themselves avant-garde metal is of course a tad pretentious, but their music is such a fun mess/journey that you can overlook the theater kid need to be “unique” in the band labeling. If you like music, you’ll probably find a song that fits your taste through their discography. From Muse to Mariachi…it’s a bit of everything. Notable Songs: Celebremos Lo Inevitable // War Painted Valentine
- Knife: Knife – Now I was not expecting a Black Metal band to ever rank this high for me, let alone Blackened Speed Punk from Germany. But there’s something fantastic about the throwback approach, melodic while aggressive song construction and since the vocals are just gruff and not Cookie Monster swallowing a microphone…this was just fantastic. Definitely not for everyone, but if you’re more of a modern metal or Venom fan, this could check boxes for you. Notable Songs: K.N.I.F.E. // Demon Wind
- Aeonblack: The Time Will Come –A NWOBHM inspired band from Germany. This was one of the more impressive albums from lesser known bands. It has a lot of Judas Priest influence from the vocals to a lot of the rhythm section. You also get moments of Thrash and Power, so if Rob Halford was the lead singer of a Megadeth/Cryonic Temple fusion band, you’d get this band. Aeonblack has only been around since 2003, but most of the members were from Groggy Elks which was formed in the 80s. So the 80s Power/Thrash stylings makes far more sense the further you dig. Notable Songs: Fire Wheels // The Phantom of Pain
- Blacktop Mojo: Blacktop Mojo – A funny music video for Wicked Woman put this band on the map just in time for their newer album to drop onto my radar. While my only real criticism was that most of the album is a little sad and not really a “cruising” album, it’s all done well. The music matches the lyrics perfectly in each song and it’s hard to ignore such great craftsmanship even if the subject matter gets redundant. So if you have an ex you’re mad at or need a band to help you verbalize a rough patch, give this a listen! Notable Songs: Cough // Wicked Woman
- Gojira: Fortitude – Well now Gojira is usually not my favorite genre either. But starting with their album From Mars to Sirius, I found that I can tolerate their approach. More of a progressive/technical death metal doesn’t put a huge emphasis on the Cookie Monster and allows you to get lost in the musical ambiance and actually enjoy the deep lyrical quality. Also being technical/progressive they venture outside of the pure death metal aspects of just blast beats and guttural vocals. This album is much like most of their discography where it’s intricate, smart and really fun to listen to. I know this was some people’s Album of the Year, but I wasn’t quite THAT blown away. Notable Songs: Another World // The Sphinx
- Twelve Foot Ninja: Vengeance – Well I’m actually mad. I recently read that the band is parting ways with their current vocalist on amicable terms so he’ll stick around for the current tour and help them fill his spot. These guys were such a breath of fresh air in music, and the vocals were definitely a big factor. I’ve always said they were like Mike Patton on an acid trip, so unless they get Mike Patton to join; I’m just tempering my expectations for the next album. This one was great, lots of fun, lots of different genres contained in one song, ear worms everywhere. So take in the really tall ninja as it is now, in case it changes for the worse! Notable Songs: Long Way Home // Over and Out
- Exodus: Persona Non Grata –There was a big theme of older bands who maybe fell off a little, finding their footing coming out of the pandemic. Exodus was no different. As much as I enjoyed their 80s stuff, multiple singer changes, direction changes and just a really spotty discography had them fall off pretty hard for me. After going back to Zetro Souza for the last album, they continued with him here and this was actually wonderful. It was aggressive while keeping the 80s tongue in cheek moments as well. Can’t overlook the educational aspects of some songs from Thalidomide to political situations. This covers a wide breadth of topics really well. Notable Songs: Prescribing Horror // R.E.M.F.
- Billie Eilish: Happier Than Ever – See, not everything I ranked well was Hard Rock or Metal. Billie is an interesting situation where I feel like she gets unnecessary hatred because her songs are vapid so people think she’s trying too hard to be deep. But the songs are written with such a simple note of relatability, that anyone hating is just doing it purely to be “edgy”, but I guess Hot Topic exists for those people still. I can only hope they are legitimately 15 and not mentally 15. Another album that was generally depressing throughout, but it makes sense given the state of the world. Clever lyrics, catchy enough beats. There’s no club bangers like Bad Guy, but the album itself is worth more than just one song on repeat. Notable Songs: NDA // Halley’s Comet
- Midnight Spell: Sky Destroyer –Another one of the NWOBHM inspired bands. Out of Miami, we get a surprisingly wonderful band that also sounds like they’re straight out of the 80s. Sonically there’s a bit of a Def Leppard/Scorpions vibe and I’m here for it. Great vocal range, smooth and fairly ridiculous lyrical content in the cheesey 80s nostalgia way. A definite diamond in the rough. Hell, Lady in the Moonlight is probably my most listened to song this year, it’s just soo good. Notable Songs: Lady of the Moonlight // To The Stars
- Accept: Too Mean To Die – We brought up older bands who came back to form and it was never more evident than with Accept. Dude this reminds me of my thoughts on Body Count last year. A band I all but forgot existed because the music has generally been awful for far too long, just punches you in the mouth with some fantastic balance. Even though Udo is again no longer with the band for the 3842 time, their new singer does great. Mark Tornillo is an awesome addition and really reignited my interest in the band. Notable Songs: Overnight Sensation // Best is Yet to Come
- The Offspring: Let The Bad Times Roll –Another band that was hit with awkward news shortly after I did the review. Not like that changes my opinion, but I can see if it soured people on the new album. While it wasn’t a complete return to form like a few of the other bands, it definitely felt more like their classic Pop Punk days and less like the post-Splinter sound. Also I really enjoyed the re-imagining of Gone Away, it was a nice evolution using the same words just a more stripped down version for new emotions. Notable Songs: Opioid Diaries // We Never Have Sex Anymore
Top 10 TV Shows:
- Arcane (Netflix) – Now this rightfully got a lot of hype. I’ve played League of Legends (the source material) since 2013 so I’m fully aware of these character and the fact the game community is complete garbage. However, aside from episode 1 being the typical “setting the table” style of presentation, this might be the best animated series I’ve ever seen. The struggle between Zaun and Piltover, hell even within both nations. Struggles mirrored between Silco and Vander/Jinx and Vi. Silco’s evolution from seeming like a typical bad guy to being on the best representations of a father in media. Hell they even acknowledge Vi and Caitlyn as being a thing, used normally in a derogatory way from Jinx but it was never really rejected. So you get politics, characterization, emotion, great fights… just all around near perfection. Riot proves once again, as long as it’s not the actual League of Legends game, they can do things competently.
- Loudermilk (Prime) – A little bit of an exception I’m making here. Originally released in 2018 on the AT&T Audience Network, it was left homeless in 2020 when Audience ceased operations. So Amazon purchased the 3 seasons and made it available to US audience in March 2021. So it technically isn’t a 2021 series, but since it was on an obscure network and Amazon saved it, I’m giving it the credit it deserves. Ron Livingston (main guy from Office Space) is the titular character Sam Loudermilk, a former music critic, recovering alcoholic, leader of a substance abuse group, and generally just a curmudgeon; so I relate to a few of those. Will Sasso plays his best friend and sponsor, shenanigans thusly ensue. The comedy is dry and offbeat much like Office Space, but it’s quite relatable if not exaggerated a little because it’s a show. Give this show a check, it’s really complex and yet very easy to get absorbed in to.
- What We Do In The Shadows S.3 (Hulu/FXX) – The Vampire based mockumentary directed and partially written by Taika Waititi and James Clement. If you are aware of the movie, or the other 2 seasons, I don’t really need to say much. Smart references, clever resolution and just general buffoonery to keep everything moving forward without feeling too serious until it has to. This definitely walks that line between insanely stupid and so moronic it’s genius. Which is what makes it so high on my list this year.
- My Name (Netflix) – After watching Squid Game I went into a little bit of a Korean series rabbit hole. This series focuses on a young girl, whose father is killed for his affiliation with a drug gang. After trying to get the police to give her answers, she turns to her only option, the gang themselves. The leader of the gang takes her in to train her to be a killer, at times even acting like a surrogate father, before sending her to infiltrate the police to find her answers. While I won’t spoil the ending here, the twists are fun, the acting is pretty damn solid and when you’re supposed to hate someone…you really hate them. Also makes me realize that South Korea kinda looks like America in 90s, just with current technology. So it’s got an oddly retro cop drama appeal while being modern.
- Squid Game (Netflix) – The show that took the internet by storm. Okay, so the hype was mostly warranted though I feel the last say, 1.5 episodes really hurt the show. I loved the pacing up until we are supposed to be getting to the grand climax. Then a kind of wet fart of a finish into malaise from the main character just because his motivation for winning was no longer around. It felt insanely forced when the show painted him as a miscreant with the worst luck but generally good intentions. I also hate the last few scenes. Instead of moving forward he opts to abandon his daughter AGAIN just to go do what? Play hero? Feed a second season in an inane way? Oh you have no clue how much that last bit made me lose some respect for the show on a whole. The first 7.5 episodes were nearly perfect though, so even if I take points away it’s not nearly enough to drop this into the garbage can.
- Cobra Kai S.3 (Netflix) – Now this doesn’t rank as high as the last season, mostly because it felt a little padded. Getting the Karate Kid 2 trip to Japan in there, Daniel’s osmosis way of mastering concepts and the slow burn to Johnny and Daniel finally joining forces, just felt like too much filler. The touch with Elizabeth Shue having to return to be the bridge between them when she was original the cause of their hatred, was pretty poetic and not a bad angle. References are still great, Miguel’s recovery was fun, and the life turmoil from all perspectives was relatable. I guess only other small nitpick is Tory’s story felt a little ignored, so general pacing issues and personal gripes with focus knocked it down a little, but it was still pretty damn good.
- Cowboy Bebop (Netflix) – The series that got cancelled like two weeks after release made my Top shows?! Yes, yes it did. This was a great branch in the Cowboy Bebop universe. Spike was wonderfully portrayed by John Cho, he was more human, more relatable and just very fun. Daniella Pineda’s Faye was nearly perfect for the same reasons, because the anime was unrealistic in how always cool everyone was. Most of the people who complained about this don’t understand a few things. Firstly, it wasn’t the anime so people expecting exact copies of personalities, looks and stories are idiots. Secondly, the way the fights and some scenes were shot is on par with the fact the source material is an anime and lines up with the slightly campier approach that Japanese and Korean action tends to take. Lastly, it was supposed to be like the Evangelion rebuild movies where it immersed you into the world with familiar stories and interactions before taking things in its own direction. YES, I will concede that Vicious was too cartoony. They made him Vicious in the over dramatic little brother way, so that wasn’t really a good characterization, but given the way they backed things up and how they adjusted Julia…it works better than the anime version. So if you actually understood the Cowboy Bebop universe, you enjoyed this and I honestly liked this series more than the anime. The anime is just “too cool for school” so people who think that is superior don’t understand the first thing about character depth.
- Miracle Workers S.3 (TBS) – Daniel Radcliffe has become one of my favorite actors post-Harry Potter. His comedic work in all 3 of these seasons is great, especially paired with Steve Buschemi. This season it’s the Oregon Trail, and the jokes are amazing and wonderfully topical. Smart humor, dark humor, great satirical tone and a throwback like Little House on the Prairie kind of intro. Just wonderfully done, watch all of it. Heaven, Middle Ages and Oregon Trail, comedy gold.
- The Witcher S.2 (Netflix) – So the first season was a smash hit, and with Henry Cavill being something of a nerd himself, the world feels very true to what I’ve seen of the games personally (I haven’t read the books). This season split up the main group but slowly brings them back together in logical ways. While this season focuses a little more on relationships, personal growth and story, it’s never really slow. There’s a lot of places to think about the information you’re being given; even if the action is a little sparse and lacking. Gerolt’s relationship with Cirilla really evolved in a logical way and it comes to a great head when Cirilla and Yennefer have a conversation about helping him. In a cold unfeeling world, the concepts of love ring true strongly in this season; just many different variations of love. The Witcher Keep was also a great addition to the cast.
- WandaVision (Disney+) – Some may be shocked that more of these Marvel series didn’t make it on my list, but come on now, are you really shocked? All of the series started off slow, and this was no different. Funnily enough, I hated episode 1, to me it wasn’t an homage to the Dick Van Dyke show, it was just a hollow mockery that came off flat, forced and poorly acted. Now that being said, episode 2 grabbed me a bit more and the third one actually sold me. None of these shows blew me away, but the gradual progression of watching Wanda’s psyche crack as she processed her grief in the form of her own little self-isolation bubble was pretty fantastic. Also getting the cameo from X-Men movies Quicksilver was a cool touch on top of giving the Marvel universe the answer to how “mutants” came to be now that they have control over that IP. So while it wasn’t close to perfect, I feel it rebounded the best and kept me engaged from a deeper level than just liking these characters from movies or a comic book.
– This year has definitely been more entertainment focused for me since wrestling in general has become a chore. Nothing was overly captivating and even for what was good, it wasn’t enough to get me to engage in the product (besides needing to cover IMPACT). 2022 promises to start off stronger with NOAH kicking things off in Budokan and NJPW actually treating the Wrestle Kingdom shows like something interesting.
That allows for some hope, but here’s the wrestling aspects of this article.
Top 5 Wrestlers:
- Roman Reigns (WWE): Now none of his matches may have made my Top 10, but that doesn’t mean I’m ignorant to his overall impact this year. He’s been a dominant champion, turned his career around, effectively carried the company and finally has the swagger and confidence to be someone the fans don’t want to Boo out of the building. WWE isn’t built around 5 star matches and honestly, pro wrestling for most of history wasn’t focused on that either. They make characters, they make brands to buy into. Roman is the most lucrative brand in wrestling currently.
- Shingo Takagi (NJPW): Though it was a generally down year for New Japan, Shingo lit things up in nearly every big singles match he had. When he lost the New Japan Cup to Ospreay and then the following title challenge, myself and many others thought New Japan was really missing the boat. Then Ospreay got hurt, and they had to pivot. Shingo may have honed his skills in Dragon Gate, and he may never be seen as a “New Japan guy”, but in 2022, he was the only guy in New Japan that mattered. So they avoided a major catastrophe by deciding to use him as a Plan B. Now if we could just get them to stop with EVIL.
- Bryan Danielson (AEW): Much like Roman, even though I can’t stand the AEW product, I give aspects credit where they deserve it. The story telling is still childishly bad, the character work is even worse and it’s just a giant eFed for kids who weren’t old enough to enjoy the Attitude Era, but Bryan Danielson at least adds in-ring legitimacy. Completely eclipsing Adam Cole’s debut, and being the only thing to keep people buzzing after CM Punk’s initial pop turned into literal no tangible change in viewership or product, he’s all they got. The whole company is a joke, Tony Khan just shot a lot of his good faith in the foot with the Big Swole interaction, but maybe Danielson can work some Mania 30 level of magic to bring people back on board.
- Syuri (Stardom): A Joshi wrestler! Nani the fuck, am I right? But let’s be serious, she made headlines with Utami Hayashishita after their Cinderella overtime draw match from Meltzer and the rest of the internet. THEN, she caps off her 2021 by finally winning the belt from Utami. Syuri has always been a legit and accomplished female wrestler, with a background in MMA, Kickboxing (championships in both as well) they don’t get much better than Syuri. She fell into the background early in the DDM days when they were pushing Giulia to the moon, but since she was out, Stardom decided to steer into serious wrestling for at least the main event. Syuri being the hurdle that Utami never could beat, and then the person to end Utami’s 409 day reign was a great capstone to Syuri’s year and solidified her as a major player for overall wrestler of the year.
- Josh Alexander (IMPACT): Now this may feel like a biased pick since IMPACT is the only thing I’ve really kept up with, but he got great matches out of so many different people, was involved in major angles and has a lot of general good faith in the IWC. A great technical wrestler with decent enough speaking skills to not seem like a buffoon, but the type to let his actions do the talking. He’s been one of the major shining stars of this current iteration of IMPACT, and should be in line to get a decent Heavyweight title reign in 2022.
Top 10 Matches:
- Syuri vs Utami Hayashishita: World of Stardom Title – Tokyo Dream Cinderella Special
- Walter vs Ilja Dragunov: NXT UK Championship – NXT: Takeover 36
- Shingo Takagi vs Hiroshi Tanahashi: NEVER Openweight – New Beginning Nagoya
- Shingo Takagi vs Jeff Cobb: NEVER Openweight – Wrestle Kingdom 15
- Takashi Sugiura vs Kazuyuki Fujita: GHC National Championship – NOAH The Glory
- Shingo Takagi vs Will Ospreay: – NJC Finals
- Josh Alexander vs Chris Sabin: X Division Championship – Victory Road
- Kento Miyahara vs Jake Lee vs Yuma Aoyagi: Triple Crown Championship – AJPW Champions Night
- Bryan Danielson vs Minoru Suzuki: – Buy In
- Willie Mack vs Moose: I Quit Match – Genesis
– There we go, a lot of my top matches are focused towards the front half of the year, but that’s to be expected since I generally lost interest. Aside from things being very Shingo Takagi heavy, I think there’s way more variety in the 10 than I expected. But that’s all for 2021, now let’s hope 2022 starts strong to help me find that spark again!
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (8/13/22)
So! Much! Gold!
The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 32
For the third year running, HPW returns to Eventide! All the titles are on the line, and from six will become ONE Eventide Challenge Champion!
- HPW Trios Championships: GZA VS Arrow Club; Arrow Club wins and becomes the new HPW Trios Champions.
- Eventide Challenge: Hilda VS Cia VS Skull Kid VS Hollywood ReDead VS Groose VS Link; Link wins and will challenge the HPW Triforce Champion at Clash of Fates 3.
- HPW Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge: Tali w/ Shabonne VS Torbevito; Torbevito wins and becomes the new HPW Death Mountain Champion.
- HPW Goddess Championship: Zelda VS Veran; Zelda wins and retains the title.
- HPW Triforce & Termina Championships Winner Takes All: Kage VS Fin Balure; Balure wins by disqualification, no titles change.
PLAY BY PLAY
HPW and HXS TV set the scene!
The tradition continues! We return to Eventide Island to put up all the gold in Hyrule! And after being ThunderStruck, after holding a Spectacular Spectacle, and after reaching Termina Velocity, Treasure Island 3 could be the most explosive one yet! The Death Mountain Champion, Tali, is back to take on anyone who wants a fight, but will she regret putting out such a bold challenge? The Princess of Hyrule, Zelda, had her first loss in over 18 MONTHS, to the living legend of TCW, the Sorceress of Shadows, Veran! Will Zelda’s historic reign fall to give rise to a new chapter in Veran’s career? Or can Zelda prove she’s a legend in the making?
The return to Eventide means the return of the Eventide Challenge, and perhaps shockingly, the Hero of Hyrule, Link, is among the competitors fighting for a shot at the Triforce Championship! But speaking of which, Kage is going double or nothing against the Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla! Who will be history’s first DUAL Triforce and Termina Champion? But Arrow Club isn’t just aiming for one title! They’re kicking off the night, going for the Trios Championships! Ganondorf, Zant and Agahnim are finally back in action since winning in May, but will it be the Young Ducks & Bad Croc Scaly that beat them? Or their build-up of ring rust? HPW Treasulre Island 3 starts now!
HPW Trios Championships: GZA VS Arrow Club!
Ganondorf, Zant and Agahnim conquered Blood & Thunder back in May, but have coasted ever since. Now they have to defend their titles, and against the red hot Young Ducks and Bad Croc Scaly! Will the gold stay in GZA’s DNA? Or will Ganondorf’s party be over when Mack, Rick & Scaly throw a #SuperQUACKParty?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who throws the bigger party!
The trios sort out and Zant starts against Rick Quackson. Fans rally as the two circle. They tie up, are in a deadlock until Zant wrenches an arm to a wristlock. Rick rolls, kips up, wrenches and wristlocks Zant in return. Zant pries at the hold, Rick twists the wrist, but Zant rolls, spins and slips through to hammerlock then headlock. Rick throws body shots, pops out the back to go for a headlock, but Zant pops out the back to ROCK Rick in the back! Zant goes to chicken wing the arms, but Rick gets loose to arm-drag Zant away! Zant comes back but puts on the brakes as Rick shows superkick! Fans applaud the standoff!
Zant shakes his head and shoos Rick while he goes to the GZA corner. Zant tags Agahnim, and he circles with Rick now. Mack quite literally squawks at Agahnim to distract him, and Rick CLOBBERS him against ropes! Rick stomps Agahnim at the ropes, the ref counts and Rick stops at 4. Rick argues with the ref about the count, and Mack KICKS Agahnim off the ropes! Fans are torn between cheers and jeers while Rick drags Agahnim back to center. Rick drags Agahnim up to ROCK him with a haymaker. Agahnim staggers, Rick forearms him against ropes, but again lets off as the ref counts. Mack goes for another cheap shot but Agahnim ROCKS him first!
Agahnim rushes the Arrow Club corner and he hits Scaly, but the burly Zazak doesn’t budge! Scaly snarls and Agahnim backs up, into a roll-up from Rick! TWO, Rick gets Agahnim’s leg and drags him towards the corner. Agahnim kicks Rick away, Mack tags in, and Rick rushes Agahnim. Agahnim ducks the Shining Wizard but sits up into Mack’s basement dropkick! Mack covers, TWO! Fans rally up and duel, “Arrow Club!” “SUCKS!” “Arrow Club!” “SUCKS!” as Mack clamps onto Agahnim with a chinlock. Mack grinds Agahnim down, digging a knee into Agahnim’s back. Fans rally as Agahnim endures.
Agahnim fights up, reaches for Mack’s face, but Mack wrangles him back down. Mack shifts to a headlock, but Agahnim moves around to get a cover! TWO, Mack holds on, but Agahnim moves around. Agahnim reaches out and his foot gets the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Mack lets off with a stomp! Fans are torn again but Mack tags in Rick. The Ducks get Agahnim up to double whip him to ropes. They then double hip toss, handspring and double basement dropkick! Rick covers, TWO! Rick hurries to drag Agahnim to the corner, anchors a foot, and tags Mack back in. Mack then tags Scaly in before he stomps Agahnim.
Scaly kicks Agahnim to the ropes, then stands on Agahnim’s back! The Ducks join in, the ref counts, and all of them step off at 4. Agahnim writhes and clutches his back while the Ducks exit the ring. Scaly drags Agahnim to center to drop a BIG elbow! Cover, TWO! Scaly stays between Agahnim and the GZA corner. Agahnim slowly gets up, and Scaly pie faces him. Agahnim scowls but Scaly pie faces him again. Scaly taunts Agahnim and Agahnim kicks low! Agahnim fires off haymakers and starts backing Scaly down! Zant and Ganondorf reach out, but Scaly elbows Zant down! Ganondorf avoids Scaly’s punch, and Agahnim dropkicks Scaly’s leg!
Scaly staggers, Agahnim RAMS into him at the ropes! Tag to Ganondorf! Fans fire up as Agahnim snapmares and rolls with Scaly, then Agahnim runs. Ganondorf gets in as Agahnim SLIDING FOREARMS Scaly down! Ganondorf adds a SENTON, then covers, TWO! Ganondorf taunts Scaly and slaps him around a bit while fans rally. Ganondorf drags Scaly up, but Scaly ROCKS Ganondorf with a right! Scaly throws body shots, pushes Ganondorf to ropes, but Ganondorf comes back with a BOOT! Scaly staggers, Ganondorf rebounds off ropes again, and the two RAM shoulders! Neither falls and Scaly roars while he flexes!
Ganondorf just pokes Scaly in the eye! The ref reprimands, some fans laugh while others boo, and Ganondorf runs again to BOOT Scaly down! Ganondorf roars and flexes now, but Scaly sits up and shakes out the stars going around his head. Ganondorf storms up on Scaly, pushes him to ropes and whips, but Rick tags in as Scaly rebounds. Ganondorf swings but Scaly ducks and slips around to shove Ganondorf into a GAMANGIRI! Rick jumps in, tags Mack, and then bumps Ganondorf off buckles. Mack whips Rick in to SHINING WIZARD, then another GAMANGIRI, then a FOREARM! Then, BULLDOG DROPKICK COMBO!
Mack grabs for Ganondorf’s legs but Ganondorf kicks him away. Mack comes back, but Ganondorf gets around him, for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans fire up, Mack flounders and Rick tags back in. Rick runs in, dodges Ganondorf to DECK Zant, then dodges Ganondorf again to SUPERKICK! Fans fire up as Ganondorf goes down! Rick spots Agahnim, goes out to the apron and PENALTY KICKS him down! Zant rushes over but Rick hops over his sweep of the legs, and Mack DIVES onto Zant! Direct hit into the railing and fans fire up as Rick aims at Ganondorf in the ring. “You’re dead!” Slingshot FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO!
Fans rally up for “Young Ducks! *clap clap* Young Ducks! *clap clap*” Rick tags Mack in and the Ducks drag Ganondorf up. Mack tries to gut wrench Ganondorf, but even he says, “This is a huge SOB!” Mack bumps Ganondorf off buckles then tags Scaly in. Scaly scoops Ganondorf, but Ganondorf slips off and shoves Scaly into the Ducks! The Ducks go down, Ganondorf ROUNDHOUSES Scaly! Ganondorf reels Scaly into underhooks, DEMISE DRIVER! Cover, but the Ducks break it! Fans fire up, Zant and Agahnim rush in and throw the Ducks out! Agahnim drags Scaly up, tries to fireman’s carry, but then Agahnim says, “This is a huge SOB!”
Scaly slips off, throws a hard body shot, then he shoves Agahnim into Zant. Zant falls out of the ring, Scaly grabs Agahnim with a choke grip, for the GRENADE! Agahnim flops out of the ring but Ganondorf gets up to HEADBUTT Scaly! Both men stagger and fans fire up, and Ganondorf runs, but into a choke grip! GREN- NO! Ganondorf CLUBS Scaly’s left arm, then kicks Scaly low. Ganondorf goes for underhooks again but Scaly fights them off! Scaly BACK DROPS Ganondorf! Scaly roars and fans fire up! Scaly drags Ganondorf up with both hands, choke grips him again, but Zant reaches out to tag in before the GRENADE!!
Scaly covers Ganondorf but the ref points out he’s not legal anymore! Scaly is angry and confused, and he turns around into Zant’s SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY! Direct hit but Zant bounces off the cover! Zant hurries to go back to Scaly, but Scaly choke grips Zant from the mat! Scaly gets up, TOSSES him to the Arrow Club corner and SPLASHES him! Scaly keeps Zant trapped and Mack tags in. Mack tags Rick, then Scaly feeds Zant to a gut wrench. Rick aims from the apron, springboards in, MALLARD DRIVER!! Cover, Arrow Club wins!!
Winners: Arrow Club, by pinfall (NEW HPW Trios Champions)
Three months and 12 days, and GZA are already former champions! Scaly and the Ducks add these belts to the Arrow Club fortune, but will Fin Balure be able to do the same later tonight?
Eventide Challenge: Hilda VS Cia VS Skull Kid VS Hollywood ReDead VS Groose VS Link!
Her Grace, the Dark Sorceress, “The Masked Madman,” the Immortal Renegade, the Skyfall Stud, and the Hero of Hyrule all survived the 21 Person Battle Royal in Termina! And now they’re here to fight for that golden ticket to the Triforce Championship! Who wins this race to head for the goal that is Clash of Fates?
Hilda shows off a very fashionable one piece swimsuit with skirt in her entrance, while Cia has a bikini top and denim cut-off shorts. Skull Kid and ReDead are dressed as they usually are, while Link has blue swim trunks. Lastly, Groose is in a speedo, and in a Studly Guys shirt that’s perhaps more Tingle’s size than his. Everyone has a hard time looking at him as they all stand in the ring. Fans chant “Banana Hammock! *clap clap, clap clap clap* Banana Hammock! *clap clap, clap clap clap*” Groose flexes to really pump up his chest and shoulders and fans cheer more. The bell rings, Groose takes off his shirt and throws it at Skull Kid before he BOOTS him!
Fans go nuts as Groose goes after Skull Kid as he exits the ring! Cia and Hilda go after each other with fast hands and ReDead rushes Link. Link dodges and SUPERKICKS ReDead! Then HOOK KICKS him! ReDead flops out of the ring, Link aims at the ropes, and as ReDead gets up, PLANCHA! Direct hit and down goes ReDead! Fans fire up and Link goes to the ramp, but the UnderWorld Order is there! Are they going to violate the NOID? Well, actually, with Ted Beedle Ossi’s money… But then the Dark Forces attacks! Volga CLOBBERS Gomess, Wizzro jumps onto Death Sword, and of course the Gibdos brawl!
Link is a bit surprised, but he manages to get around the brawling factions. Death Sword throws Wizzro off him then DECKS him with a forearm! Death Sword goes to ReDead but the ref tells him not to interfere or he will get fined and suspended per the No Outside Interference Decree! Death Sword stays back, but he coaches ReDead up. ReDead staggers and leans against barriers as he makes his way to the ramp. Fans go nuts as Cia whips Hilda into the timekeeper’s area and topples the table! Cia then hurries to the ramp, the Dark Forces cheering her on. Groose whips Skull Kid into barriers, but Skull Kid comes right back to UPPERCUT him down!
Skull Kid stomps Groose a few times before rushing to the ramp. Skull Kid storms his way up the ramp, everyone giving him space. That leaves Groose and Hilda both sputtering at ringside, tied for last place. Skull Kid picks up speed and catches up to Cia. Cia looks back to see him, tries to speed up, but Skull Kid is so fast! Are his legs longer? Either way, Skull Kid blows past Cia, and she ends up coughing and sputtering from the sand he kicked up! Picture in picture shows us that the uWo and Dark Forces are still brawling at ringside! They can’t violate the NOID if no one is around! Gomess POSTS Volga while Death Sword APRON CHOKE SLAMS Wizzro!
Meanwhile, Skull Kid catches up to ReDead as he heads uphill. ReDead stops, grabs a rock, and he CHUCKS it at Skull Kid!! Skull Kid catches the rock!? And then holds it like a football as he runs into ReDead! ReDead tumbles down the hill and Skull Kid spikes the rock like he scored a touchdown. Skull Kid continues on and Link is right up ahead. Link looks back and sees Skull Kid coming. Link tries to go faster but Skull Kid runs him down, too. Skull Kid CLOBBERS Link from behind right as they reach the summit of Koholint Rock! Skull Kid hammers away on Link, but Link manages to hit him back. Link staggers up, going for the prize, but Skull Kid CHOP BLOCKS one of his legs!
We see that the Gibdos are brawling in the ring! Dark Forces Gibdo in purple ROCKS uWo Gibdo in black with big haymaker after big haymaker, then spins, into a HELL STAB from uWo Gibdo! uWo Gibdo whips Dark Forces Gibdo to a corner, then runs in to SPLASH! uWo Gibdo runs side to side, but Dark Forces Gibdo drops and uWo Gibdo gets caught up on the ropes! Dark Forces Gibdo dumps uWo Gibdo up and out of the ring! Back to Skull Kid, he drags Link up and has the leg, for a SHIN BREAKER! Skull Kid holds onto the leg for a DRAGON SCREW! Link writhes while Skull Kid grabs the golden ball.
Skull Kid storms back the way he came, and he runs downhill to barrel into ReDead! They both tumble, but Skull Kid holds onto the prize. Skull Kid gets up, but Hilda SHOTGUNS him down! The prize goes flying and it bounces off the ground and rolls away. Hilda gets up to chase after the ball but ReDead is also in pursuit. ReDead shoves Hilda into a bush! ReDead hurries to chase down the ball, but then a dozen or so more golden balls fly out from behind a rock! The prize ends up lost among them! ReDead freaks out and wonders who just did that! ReDead looks behind the rock but no one is there, though there is a bucket labeled with a purple rabbit logo.
ReDead looks through the assortment of gold balls, and throws away the ones that aren’t the prize. Hilda drags herself out of the bush but Cia runs up on ReDead to hit a SLINGBLADE! Cia starts looking through the balls but Hilda BOOTS her down! Hilda looks and grabs up the ball! Three guesses to how she knows it’s the right one. Hilda hurries back towards the ringside area, but Groose is there waiting, arms crossed like a speedo wearing guardian. Hilda stares at him and frowns as she looks him up and down. Hilda slowly approaches and Groose takes a fighting stance. Hilda tries to juke Groose but he anticipates it and catches her in a waistlock!
Hilda kicks and flails but Groose holds on to GERMAN SUPLEX Hilda back up the trail! Groose hurries to grab the prize, but then Skull Kid comes flying in like a keese outta hell! Skull Kid CLOBBERS Groose into railing and fans fire up as they get closer to the action. Skull Kid fires off hammering fists like he did on Link, and then he grabs at the arm holding the prize. Groose moves around but Skull Kid holds on. Groose turns around into a BOOT from ReDead! Groose falls back on Skull Kid, and ReDead grabs the prize! But then Cia SMACKS ReDead on the back with a chair! ReDead drops to his knees, and Cia SMACKS him again!
Cia picks up the prize and heads towards ringside. The Dark Forces have turned the table, and Wizzro is choking Gomess with a chair digging into his neck! Death Sword wraps Wizzro in a SLEEPER! Death Sword holds Wizzro up and swings him around like that! Death Sword then whips Wizzro, just to reel him in for a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Death Sword gets up but Volga SUPERKICKS him! Volga and Dark Forces Gibdo clear the uWo and hold the ropes for Cia. But then LINK slips in and DIVES through the opening to take out Cia at the ramp!! Everyone is shocked, especially the Dark Forces!
Link grabs the prize but Hilda runs in! She jumps up and RANAS Link away! But he still has the prize! Hilda hurries after Link, but Skull Kid POUNCES her away!! Skull Kid roars and looks around wildly, does he not know Link has the prize? RIGHT HAND OF THE GODDESS! Groose shakes out his hand while he looms over Skull Kid. ReDead picks Groose up for an atomic drop! Groose hobbles, clutching his tailbone, and then ReDead POSTS him! Link fireman’s carries ReDead for a BOMBOS MEDALLION to the floor! Link holds the prize up high and fans fire up as he steps up into the ring! Link wins!
Winner: Link (NEW Mr. Eventide)
The Dark Forces can only stare as the Hero of Hyrule stands there victorious! Link is heading back to Clash of Fates, but will he be meeting the Hero’s Shadow or the Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla?
A video plays on the titantron.
The sound of horses galloping on a dirt track. Glimpses of wild horses on the open plains. The galloping transitions to wrestlers running the ropes in the ring. The sound of the ring mat rumbling and the horses galloping blend together until they’re almost the same. “Those whose spirits cannot be tamed, run the race so that glory can be claimed!” Then the date, “9/18/22” and a logo flashes on screen.
Just what is this Dark Horse Stampede? And what glory will be on the line when it’s time?
HPW Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge: Tali w/ Shabonne VS ???
The Dame of the Dunes is back from defending her Sand Seal Racing Championship in the Gerudo Desert, and now she’s ready to defend this title here! Once in the ring, Shabonne gets on the mic to say, “Sav’saaba, vai and voe, here on Eventide Island and watching around the world! And that includes Termina, after the great event just last month. A bit of a shame the Dame of the Dunes couldn’t make it for that, but y’know, prior engagements and uh, better places to be.” Shabonne chuckles but luckily no one from Termina seems to be here right now. “But Tali is back in the ring, and that can only mean one thing: she will dominate whoever steps to her!
“So that said, it doesn’t matter who HPW found that’s either brave enough or stupid enough to take Tali on, Tali will dominate them, dominate their daddy, dominate their momma, and dominate their next door neighbor’s cousin, because no one is dethroning The Dame of the Dunes! But go ahead, whoever’s back there. Come on out and take this beating Tali’s got on deck for you!” Tali flexes while Shabonne drops the mic, and “A-A-ARROW CLUB! F-F-F-F-FOR! LIFE!” Fans are surprised, we just saw Arrow Club win the Trios titles! Who is it- TORBEVITO!? Torbevito is now in Arrow Club!? And he’s already lost to Tali once, is he going to avenge being thunder struck?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if Arrow Club gets even stronger!
The bell rings and Shabonne is protesting! Tali already beat Torbevito, why’s he back? The ref says it’s an Open Challenge, anyone can answer it! Tali tells Torbevito that dressing differently won’t magically make him stronger. They tie up, Tali powers Torbevito to ropes and the ref counts the ropebreak. Tali lets off at 4, and she SLAPS Torbevito. Torbevito KICKS Tali in the leg! Fans let out a “Whoa…!” as the two stare down. Tali swings but Torbevito ducks, throws body shots, then KICKS Tali’s leg again. Torbevito front kicks, SOBATS, then runs, but Tali runs him over! Tali flexes while fans are torn, “TOR-BE-VI-TO!” “SA-O-TEN!”
Tali drags Torbevito up and CLUBS him on the back. Tali whips Torbevito to a corner hard, and he bounces off buckles to hit the mat. Tali then storms over to haul Torbevito up, whip him to ropes, and then pick him up, but Torbevito fights through to sunset flip! TWO, and Tali gets up to SPINEBUSTER! High stack, TWO! Fans fire up but Tali stomps Torbevito. Shabonne tells Tali to make sashimi out of Torbevito, and Tali drags him up into a BEARHUG! Tali thrashes Torbevito around but he endures while fans rally. Torbevito throws elbow after elbow, but RAMS him into a corner, and then OVERHEAD Belly2Belly suplexes!
Torbevito sits up in a daze, and Tali storms up on him. Tali facelocks and deadlift suplexes Torbevito! Tali holds Torbevito up and fans count along. Tali holds Torbevito up past 10, then past 15, and even flexes with one arm before the SLAM at 20! Cover, TWO!! Torbevito is even dizzier than earlier but he’s still in this. Fans rally up while Torbevito staggers and wobbles. Tali shoves him to ropes to then GERMAN SUPLEX, but Torbevito lands on his feet! Torbevito SUPERKICKS Tali! Tali wobbles now, and Torbevito runs in to use the ropes for a WHIRLPOOL DDT!! Cover, TWO!! Tali survives Torbevito’s best shot!?
Fans are going nuts, some are calling BS, but Torbevito hurries up to a corner! Torbevito climbs, but Shabonne gets on the apron! Just like ThunderStruck! The ref reprimands, but the distraction gives Tali time to get up! Torbevito adjusts and CROSSBODIES! But Tali rolls through! Fans fire up as Tali swings Torbevito around, only for Torbevito to get around and CRUCIFIX DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Tali survives again but Torbevito fires up! Fans fire up with him and he KICKS Tali in the chest! Tali sputters but stays up, so Torbevito KICKS her again! And again, and again, then runs, PENALTY KICK! STANDING SHOOTING STAR! Cover, TWO!!
Fans are thunderous and Shabonne is shouting at Tali to get up. Tali crawls to a corner and drags herself up while the fans duel, “TOR-BE-VI-TO!” “SA-O-TEN!” Torbevito runs in, WHIRL- NO, Tali throws Torbevito away this time! Tali blocks the superkick and spins Torbevito around, DRAGON WHIP! Torbevito shoves Tali to ropes and table tops her for a roll-up! TWO, but Torbevito springboards for a DOUBLE STOMP! Cover, TWO!! Tali sputters and gets out of the ring! Shabonne goes to her side but Torbevito aims for them! PLANCHA! Shabonne takes the hit! Tali then BOOTS Torbevito down! Fans boo as Tali puts Torbevito back in.
Tali grabs at Torbevito but he reels her into a TRIANGLE HOLD! Tali endures while fans fire up, and Torbevito uses just his legs to squeeze while throwing down elbows! Torbevito elbows again and again and again but Tali endures. Shabonne coaches her up, but the ref has her stay back from the apron. Tali fights up, deadlifts Torbevito, and SIT-OUT POWERBOMBS! But Torbevito reels her back in! Wait, he’s modifying the hold! He’s got a shin under the chin! Tali flails, reaches out, but he throws more and more elbows! Tali is fading! The ref checks her, SHE’S OUT!! TORBEVITO WINS!!
Winner: Torbevito, by submission (NEW HPW Death Mountain Champion)
After 225 days, the Dame of the Dunes is dethroned! The Son of the Whirlpool rises up, and he holds up the championship on behalf of Arrow Club! Will Torbevito make his father proud? Will the hits keep on coming as Fin Balure takes on Kage?
HPW Goddess Championship: Zelda VS Veran!
The Princess of Hyrule had been spotless and unbeaten for a year and seven months, until running into the Sorceress of Shadows at Termina Velocity! That loss didn’t lose Zelda the title, but it meant she would owe Veran this match here tonight! Will Veran’s legend continue through HPW? Or can Zelda hold on to her crown and continue her reign into the Fall?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and in a battle of past and present, we see who writes the future!
Fans rally up as Zelda and Veran slowly circle. Veran and Zelda approach, feel out the grapple, and they tie up collar ‘n’ elbow. Veran pushes Zelda back but Zelda arm-drags! Zelda then rushes Veran at the ropes to whip, but Veran reverses to kick low! Veran whips Zelda but Zelda handsprings! Veran avoids the back elbow, powers Zelda to a corner then RAMS her shoulder into her! And again, and again! Referee Maron Ron Ron counts and Veran lets off at 4 to then whip Zelda corner to corner. Veran runs in but Zelda goes up and over to sunset flip! TWO, and fans cheer as the two stand off!
Fans rally up again as the two reset. They circle, approach, tie up, and Zelda headlocks. Zelda grinds the hold, Veran powers up and picks Zelda up but Zelda thrashes the hold to fight that off. Veran tries again, Zelda thrashes and grinds again, but Veran throws body shots. Veran powers out, but Zelda ducks and dodges to then tilt-o-whirl to an IRON OCTOROK! Veran endures the hold but then powers out of it to hit a BACKBREAKER! Veran hauls Zelda up for the rear bearhug, but Zelda fights that to wheelbarrow and victory roll FACEBUSTER! Zelda turns Veran over to a cover, TWO, and Veran waistlocks Zelda into a bridging cover! TWO, and fans cheer another standoff!
Zelda and Veran reset again and approach. Zelda gets around Veran to CLUB her in the back, then KICK her in the leg. Veran swings but Zelda ducks the elbow to KICK her in the leg again. Veran shoves Zelda away, but Zelda rushes back in, only for Veran to fireman’s carry! GUT BUSTER DROP! Veran grabs Zelda’s arms and wants the Spider Web, but Zelda kicks Veran away! Zelda kips up but Veran ROLLING ELBOWS! Zelda staggers, rebounds off the ropes and gives a HYLIAN KISS HEADBUTT! Both women stagger, but Zelda roars and gives another HYLIAN KISS! Veran falls over, Zelda wobbles, but she grabs for Veran’s arms!
Veran resists, knowing Zelda wants the Light Arrow! Veran uses her height advantage to reel Zelda in for a monkey flip! Zelda staggers up, Veran CLOBBERS her against the ropes! Zelda staggers, Veran ripcords, BEE STING ELBOW! Cover, ONE?!? Zelda shocks and upsets Veran with that kick-out! Veran grabs at Zelda’s arms again, but Zelda scrambles around again. Zelda kicks but Veran holds on tight to the arms. Zelda looks at the ropes but Veran drags her away! Zelda does her best to thrash and kick, makes her way to the adjacent side of the ring, but Veran hooks her up in the SPIDER WEB!
Fans fire up and duel as Zelda endures! “TAP! TAP!” “NO! NO!” Veran pulls back on the arms, but Zelda uses her head to crawl and inch forward! Veran pulls harder, Maron asks but Zelda shouts, “NO!!” Zelda keeps moving her head around, and she gets a ROPEBREAK with her teeth! Zelda is biting the bottom rope and fans are going nuts! Maron counts, Veran lets Zelda go at 4 and fumes in frustration. Zelda manages to roll out of the ring, and she shakes out her arms and roll her shoulders. Veran WRECKS Zelda with a baseball slide dropkick! Veran goes out after Zelda, and brings her up to RAM into railing!
The front row fires up with the action up close as Veran CLUBS Zelda in the chest. Veran ROCKS Zelda with a forearm, then follows her along the way. Veran SHOVES Zelda into railing, then grabs one of her arms. Veran loops the arm through the railing and pulls! Maron reprimands and counts, Veran lets off at 4, then BOOTS the railing to jam up the arm! Zelda clutches the arm and hobbles away, but Veran catches up to her to put her back in the ring. Veran drags Zelda up by the bad arm to wrench then CLUB it! Veran whips Zelda to ropes, scoops her for a tilt-o-whirl, but Zelda slips out! Veran swings, but Zelda catches and wrenches the arm.
Zelda chicken wings but Veran fights off the crossface! That’s the bad arm, too, so Veran twists the wrist and hits an ELBOW BREAKER! Veran WRINGS the arm out, then turns Zelda over. But Zelda reaches up for a TWISTING HEADSCISSORS! Zelda has Veran down, and she shifts around for the FIGURE FOUR NECKLOCK! Fans fire up, Veran endures and moves around, ROPEBREAK! Zelda lets go quickly to run, and Veran staggers up into a LIGHTNING KICK! Direct hit and Zelda crawls to the cover, TWO! Zelda gets the wrists! LIGHT- NO, Veran ducks under, and she drags Zelda down to roll her back!
Veran tries for Spider Web again but Zelda KANGAROO KICKS! Veran staggers away and Zelda rushes up behind her. They go to ropes, Zelda half nelsons, REQUIEM OF SPIRIT! Fans fire up and Zelda… goes to the corner? And she climbs up! Zelda usually doesn’t go up to the top rope, but she aims right at Veran! METEOR HEEL!! Another direct hit off the flying ax kick!! Fans lose their minds while Zelda covers, TWO!! Veran survives but Zelda goes after the arms! Veran moves around as Zelda goes for a chicken wing. Veran stands up, swings Zelda around, BEE STING! Zelda wobbles, but she ROUNDHOUSES back!
Zelda wrenches Veran’s arm and reels her in for a double underhook DDT! Zelda pushes Veran over and has the arms! LIGHT ARROW!! Cover, Zelda wins!
Winner: Zelda, by pinfall (still HPW Goddess Champion)
The Princess of Hyrule holds onto her throne! And though Veran lost the match, she respects Zelda, and Zelda respects Veran. Fans cheer as the two shake hands, but will Veran be back again? And who will be next to take Zelda on for this title?
HPW Triforce & Termina Championships Winner Takes All: Kage VS Fin Balure!
This is already the most historic match in HPW history, and perhaps all of pro-wrestling history. HPW may have adopted the Termina Championship when Igos du Ikana brought it back, but it still has the lineage for THE Termina Championship Wrestling Heavyweight Championship. Fin Balure is the first Zora to hold that title since Sharky Shipwreck back in September of 1999. Meanwhile, Kage, only the third-ever HPW Triforce Champion, has only reigned for over two months. It was surely a must-see moment when he won at The Spectacular Spectacle, but this will be an even bigger moment! Who reigns as DUAL champion of Hyrule and Termina?
The introductions are made, both belts are raised, but only one leaves Treasure Island with them both!
Fans are thunderous at the bell as the two stare down. Fin is smirking but Kage is scowling. They slowly circle and fans rally up. They tie up, go around, and fans fire up as Fin puts Kage in a corner but Kage puts Fin on the ropes. Fin turns it back around and referee Tiger Sahasrahla counts the ropebreak. Fin lets off with another smirk but Kage keeps cool. They tie up again, Fin headlocks to hit a takeover but Kage rolls it to a cover. ONE, Fin holds on and Kage fights up to his feet. Fans rally and duel, “Let’s Go, Balure!” “Go Kage!” Kage powers up to power out but they RAM shoulders. Neither man falls and they stare down as the fans get louder.
Kage and Fin feel out knuckle locks, Fin gets around to a waistlock but Kage switches. Fin switches, Kage pries free and shifts to fireman’s carry takeover to get a wristlock. Fin reaches up to headscissor but Kage kips free. Kage runs into another headlock takeover but he headscissors back. Fin kips free now and fans cheer the standoff! Kage and Fin reset, circle, and tie up. Fin gets around to CLUB Kage on the back, then he throws a forearm and a SOBAT! Fin runs, Kage hurdles, things speed up, and Kage DROPKICKS Fin down! Fans fire up while Fin flounders to a corner. Kage takes aim, runs corner to corner but Fin slips up and out to GAMANGIRI!
Kage staggers, Finn reels him in and trips Kage up. Fin gets the legs to keep Kage down, then hooks him up. Fans rally and Fin grabs at the arms. Kage resists but Fin CLUBS him, to then get the ROMERO SPECIAL SURFBOARD! Kage endures, so Fin lets him down to shift to a chinlock! Kage pries free but that flings him into the mat! Fin ties the legs up into a figure four and he anchors Kage. Kage crawls and gets the ROPEBREAK! Sahasrahla counts, Fin lets off quickly, and then he drags Kage up. Kage JAWBREAKERS back! Kage whips but Fin reverses, but Kage sunset flips. Fin rolls through to basement dropkick!
Kage bails out but Fin builds speed, only for Kage to get in and CLOBBER him! Kage snarls while Fin sputters, and Kage drags Fin up. Snap suplex! Fans rally and duel more as Kage looms over Fin. Kage runs and drops a knee! Cover, TWO! Kage brings Fin up but Fin fires off haymakers! Fin backs Kage down to a corner to fire body shots and haymakers. Fin whips corner to corner but Kage SUPERKICKS! Kage goes up the corner, FLYING KNEE! Cover, TWO! Kage is annoyed but he drags Fin up. Fin fires more haymakers but Kage CHOPS! Kage scoops Fin for a BACKBREAKER! Kage then stalks Fin as he crawls to the ropes.
Kage KICKS Fin in the ribs! Kage drags Fin up to ROCK him with a forearm, but Fin fires one back! The forearms start flying and fans fire up, then Kage ENZIGURIS! Fin falls and Kage covers, TWO! Fin is dazed but still in this and Kage snarls. Kage brings Fin up to ROCK him to a corner. Fans duel, Fin throws body shots! Fin fires off haymakers and forearms then stomps Kage to the corner! Fans fire up as Fin fires off but Sahasrahla backs him off. Kage ROCKS Fin, then CHOPS him! Fin goes to another corner, Kage CHOPS him again. Kage whips corner to corner, Fin goes up and over and CHOPS Kage in return!
Fin talks trash and throws fast hands! Fin won’t let Kage get out of the corner, he CHOPS again! Now Fin whips corner to corner, and he CHOPS Kage. Fin whips, Kage reverses, but Fin reverses back! Kage goes up but Fin GAMANGIRIS him to the floor! Fans fire up while Fin takes aim. Fin builds speed and FLIES! Direct hit at the ramp and fans fire up more! Fin drags Kage up and into the ring and he takes aim from the corner, “This is Awesome!” Kage stands up, into a SLINGBLADE! Fin takes aim again, aiming a pretend bow ‘n’ arrow at Kage. Fin runs in, into a fireman’s carry! DEATH VALLEY NECKBREAKER!
Both men are down but fans are thunderous! Kage stirs and sits up slowly, then he goes to Fin. Kage drags Fin up, wants the Electric Chair, but Fin slips off! Fin swings, misses, Kage back suplex NECKBREAKERS! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up while both men are down again. Fin and Kage stir as fans rally up, Kage gets up and goes after Fin, but Fin trips Kage to DOUBLE STOMP! Both men are down again but Fin snarls and gets up. Fans fire up and Fin stomps away on Kage at the ropes! And springboard stomps again and again! Sahasrahla counts, Fin lets off at 4, and he waits on Kage to get to a corner. HESITATION DROPKICK!
Fin drags Kage up, but Kage kicks Fin in the leg to then POST him! Kage drags Fin out to Electric Chair Lift again! Fin grabs the ropes and Sahasrahla counts. Fin won’t let go so Kage lets him down and CLOBBERS Fin from behind! Kage whips, Fin reverses to ROCK Kage! Kage ROCKS Fin, Fin ROCKS Kage, and they go back and forth! Fin gets the edge and whips, but Kage KICKS back! Fin ducks the roundhouse but can’t jump the leg sweep! Kage runs but Fin avoids the sliding kick! Fin CHOPS, then whips Kage to a corner. Fin runs in but Kage goes up, over, runs and RANAS Fin out of the ring, to then TORNILLO!
Fans fire up as Kage busts out a new level of agility! Kage fires up and fans fire up with him. Kage drags Fin up, puts him in, and gives back those stomps at the ropes. Sahasrahla reprimands and counts so Kage lets off. Kage drags Fin around by the legs, but Fin holds onto the ropes. Sahasrahla counts but Kage KICKS Fin in the legs. Kage KICKS again, lets off as Sahasrahla reaches 4, then gets the legs again. ROPE GUILLOTINE! Fin sputters and gasps and Kage drags him to a cover, TWO! Kage drags Fin up to bump off buckles. Fin staggers, Kage CLUBS him, then bumps him off more buckles. Kage CHOPS Fin and Fin sits down!
Fans duel as Kage digs his boots into Fin, but Kage lets off as Sahasrahla counts again. Kage brings Fin up but Fin throws body shots! Kage CLUBS Fin down, drags him back up, and whips him to another corner. Kage snarls and runs in at Fin, but into a BOOT! Fin CHOPS Kage, Kage staggers away, and Fin runs, but into a MASTER SWORD! High stack cover, TWO!! Fin survives taking that shot to the face but Kage snarls. Kage drags Fin around into a CAMEL CLUTCH! Fin endures, even as Kage fishhooks his face! Sahasrahla reprimands, Fin reaches out with a foot, ROPEBREAK! Kage lets off, drags Fin up, and CLUBS him back down.
Kage reels Fin in for a facelock but Fin fights off the suplex. Kage fires off forearms on Fin, then reels him back in, but Fin slips free of the suplex. Fin waistlocks but Kage throws back elbows. Kage runs, but Fin DROPKICKS him at the ropes! Fans are thunderous as Kage flops out of the ring. Fin takes aim, but Kage moves to the side in a hurry. Fin goes out after Kage and CHOPS him against barriers! Kage ROCKS Fin with a haymaker, Kage whips but Fin reverses! Kage hits railing hard, and Fin hurries to look under the ring?! Fin brings out a TABLE and fans fire up! Fin sets the table up despite Sahasrahla reprimanding him.
Fin gets after Kage, brings him over and SMACKS him off the table! Fin then CHOPS Kage and he falls back onto the table. Fans fire up and Sahasrahla reprimands again but Fin goes up the apron. Fin rallies the fans up, but Kage gets off the table to sweep the legs! Fin hits the apron and falls to the floor! Kage gets in the ring and he fires up. Fans rally behind Kage as he builds speed, to FLY! Direct hit and Fin hits the railing! The front row is super pumped up and Kage drags Fin up. Kage feints putting Fin in the ring to them whip him into more railing! Sahasrahla reprimands as Kage dumps Fin up and over into the crowd!
Kage goes after Fin in the crowd and throws haymakers to keep him moving. Sahasrahla wants them to get back in the ring, but they’re not listening! Kage SMACKS Fin off fans’ seats, then shoves him into trash cans and recycling bins! They go all the way to the dock!! Camera operators do their best to keep up as Kage SMACKS Fin off a pole! Fin flounders, Kage grabs a some rope! Kage swings on Fin but Fin ducks and throws a heavy body shot! Fin takes the rope now, but Kage BOOTS him! Kage then grabs a ladder that’s there, and climbs it?! To SUPER MOONSAULT onto a standing Fin! Fans are thunderous, “That was Awesome!”
Sahasrahla finally starts the ring count as Kage drags Fin back through the crowd. Kage SMACKS Fin off more seats and they reach ringside at 5 of 10. Kage leaves Fin behind to hurry and refresh the count. Kage fetches the table Fin set up earlier and positions it. Fin gets back in the ring but Kage drags him out, to Electric Chair Lift! Fin flails and fans freak out, but Fin gets to the apron! Fin kicks and stomps Kage away, then reels him back in, for an APRON BACK SUPLEX! Kage writhes and flops to the floor. Both men are down, a new ring count starts, but Fin drags Kage up again. Fin CHOPS Kage and makes him rest on the table again.
Fin gets in the ring to reset the count, then goes back to the apron. Fin rallies the fans again while Sahasrahla reprimands, and Fin gets a running start, COUP DE GRACE! The table breaks but not much, and it’s a rough landing for Fin! Fans lose their minds while both men are down, and Sahasrahla checks on both men. They’re okay to continue so a new ring count climbs. Both men are still down at 5 of 10, but Fin crawls. Fin gets in at 7, Kage’s still down at 8! He springs to life at 9 and in at 9.99!! But Fin is right up top to COUP DE GRACE AGAIN!! Cover, TWO?!? Kage survives and Fin is shocked!!
Fans are hoping these two “FIGHT FOREVER!” but this has to end somehow! Fin looks around, not sure how to finish this. He hurries to get Kage up, but Kage RAMS him into a corner! Kage runs corner to corner but Fin meets him, SLINGBLADE! Fin fires up, but Kage’s right back on his feet!? MASTER SWORD! Electric Chair Lift! But then a pop-up to a high waistlock! Fin flails and fights free to PELE! Kage is still standing, to full nelson! SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Kage roars, fans are thunderous, MASTER SWORD! Fin falls over but Kage keeps moving to the other corner! PHOENIX SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!!!
Fans are electric as Fin survives! Kage drags Fin up, a wild look in his eyes! Fin flails as Kage tries to reel him in again. Fin grabs the rope with his legs and Sahasrahla counts. Kage lets go at 4 with a shove, then MASTER- NO, Fin dodges and rolls Kage up! Cover, but Fin puts his feet on the ropes! Sahasrahla spots that just after “Two!” Sahasrahla reprimands Fin and Fin apologizes, though more for getting caught then using the cheat. Fin brings Kage up but Kage DECKS him! Fans fire up, but Fin claims something’s wrong with his eye. Kage wants after Fin but Sahasrahla has him stay back. Sahasrahla checks on Fin and fans aren’t sure what to make of this.
Sahasrahla has Fin sit in a corner and a medic walks over. Fans are worried now, and Arrow Club heads out to the ring, too. Fin is wary of people touching his eye on that side. The Young Ducks go to where Fin is from the outside, and Scaly gets in the ring to stare Kage down. The medic gives Fin an icepack for his eye and he carefully gets to his feet. Fans cheer to see Fin is okay, and Scaly helps Fin get to the ramp side of the ring. Scaly holds the ropes open, but then Fin CHOPS Kage! Fans boo as the Arrow Club laughs at the fans for falling for it! Fin stomps away on Kage in a corner, whips him corner to corner, then runs in to CHOP again!
Kage is fuming as Fin shows everyone his eye is okay. Kage shoots in and around to SNAP DRAGON! Fin staggers back up, Kage turns him around, SNAP DRAGON again! The Ducks get on the apron but Kage BLASTS them both off! Kage roars and fans fire up, but Scaly slides a belt into the ring! Sahasrahla sees that clear as day and fetches the belt. But he misses Scaly slide in another belt! It helps that Arrow Club has five to choose from! Fin grabs the Termina Championship, but Kage stands on the belt! Fin goes to low blow but Kage blocks! Kage has Fin’s arms for a LIGHT ARROW!! And then Kage suplexes to BRAINBUSTER on the belt!!
But wait, Sahasrahla sees that!!! Sahasrahla asks Kage about the belt and the brainbuster, and the Arrow Club is throwing Kage under the bus! Kage tells Sahasrahla not to, but he rings the bell!!
Winner: Fin Balure, by disqualification (still HPW Termina Champion, but Kage is still HPW Triforce Champion)
Fans boo, they wanted to see a dual champion! But Fin’s ace in the hole backfires! No one is the winner here, and that pisses Kage off! Kage wants after the Arrow Club for them screwing this all up, but while he rushes the Ducks, Torbevito gets Fin out of the ring. But then Kage reels Torbevito in! Kage pops Torbevito up into the Electric Chair Lift! But Scaly gets in and choke grips Kage! Torbevito gets away, Scaly prepares his other hand, but here comes LINK! The new Mr. Eventide rushes out with a chair! He swings on the Arrow Club and they all run away! The Arrow Club hold up all their gold, will they get another chance at the top prize?
As for Link and Kage, they stop staring the Arrow Club down, to stare each other down. Sahasrahla brings the Triforce Championship over, still Kage’s possession because of Champion’s Advantage. But Link being Mr. Eventide, he’s coming for that belt soon enough. Both brothers look at the belt, and then Kage raises it up as he stares Link square in the eyes. It seems that at Clash of Fates 3, things come full circle for the Hero of Hyrule and his shadow. Who will win this rematch one full year in the making?
Sorry if that finish to the main event felt very WWE/Vince McMahon, but perhaps instead of Winner Takes All, I should’ve written this as a double header. But writing the double header would have been a lot more to put into this than I could muster, knowing NJPW’s G1 Climax was coming back around with a very big schedule. And Arrow Club are meant to be Tweeners, so at some point, they have to show their Heel side after being the comparative Faces against GZA and Tali. But even without the Triforce Championship, that faction is the first GOLDEN faction, with everyone having a title, so they’ll be just fine in the HPW standings.
New Force Order – A Star Wars Podcast: Thief In Space
It’s an fresh New Force Order episode, looking at what Mark Hamill stole from the Star Wars set, and commonalities between the Emperor and Yoda?!?!
It’s an fresh New Force Order episode, looking at what Mark Hamill stole from the Star Wars set, and commonalities between the Emperor and Yoda?!?!
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Doc’s back from his Mexican vacation and we are off to the races! Mark Hamill a thief! Say it ain’t so!! What goodies did Mark steal from the Star Wars set. A pretty famous actor was up for the Solo role but turned it down–how rude! Did the Emperor and Yoda have more in common than we think? What lesson did they teach their most famous students?? Cal Kestis in live action, a big difference in Sith and Jedi lightsabers. Saw Gerrera makes history as General Grievous reclaims a part of his. And a rare and important blaster goes on the auction block. All this and more in this week’s thrilling episode!
About the New Force Order
A Star Wars Podcast by the fans and for the fans. GGP, Doc and Spiro deliver a in-depth weekly news and review show on all stars wars related content.
About the Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
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