Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (1/5/22)
TBS is Dynamite!
AEW moves to the mothership network!
AEW is on a new network, and we will see a new champion crowned as Jade Cargill and Ruby Soho battle for THE TBS Women’s Championship!
- AEW World Championship: Hangman Page VS Bryan Danielson; Hangman wins and retains the title.
- MJF VS Shawn Dean; Dean wins, by disqualification.
- Wardlow w/ Shawn Spears VS Antonio Zambrano; Wardlow wins.
- AEW TBS Women’s Championship Tournament Finals: Jade Cargill w/ Mark Sterling VS Ruby Soho; Cargill wins and is the inaugural AEW TBS Women’s Champion.
- Malakai Black VS Brian Pillman Jr. w/ Julia Hart; Malakai wins.
- AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Lucha Brothers w/ Alex Abrahantes VS Jurassic Express w/ Christian Cage; Jurassic Express wins and become the new AEW World Tag Team Champions.
PLAY BY PLAY
AEW World Championship: Hangman Page VS Bryan Danielson!
New Year, new channel, and a different take on the classic we saw at Winter is Coming! The Millennial Cowboy and the American Dragon took it to the 60 minute time limit, but there won’t be a draw this time as there will be a panel of judges calling it if need be. It will be Mark Henry, Paul Wight and Jerry Lynn giving their votes, but will Hangman and Bryan make sure this ends long before 60 minutes?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we run it back from 2021!
Hangman rushes Bryan at the bell but Bryan gets away then bails out! Fans boo but Hangman stays in the ring. Bryan jogs around the ring and shows off with jumping jacks right in front of the judges. Hangman goes out after him but Bryan gets back in the ring. Bryan smirks but Hangman stays stone faced as the two circle. They tie up, go around, and end up in a corner. Hangman lets off as the ref counts, but Bryan avoids his chop to give a CHOP! Hangman storms up on Bryan but Bryan trips him up and goes for the legs. Hangman kicks Bryan away but Bryan bails out, wagging a finger. Bryan wants to determine the pace of this rematch.
Bryan takes his time returning, and he calls for a test of strength. Fans rally for Hangman as he knuckle locks with Bryan, but Bryan drops, breaks and wrenches, then wrenches again. Hangman rolls, breaks, wrenches Bryan back to a hammerlock then snapmare. Bryan gets up, avoids the back elbow, and does more jumping jacks. Bryan hopes the judges took note of all that, and he resets with Hangman. They tie up, Bryan headlocks and then wrenches with some grit. Fans duel, Hangman wrenches and headlocks but Bryan powers out. Things speed up, Bryan bails out but Hangman DIVES out onto Bryan! And then he goes right up for a ARIHARA MOONSAULT!
Bryan gets clear, runs in but into an APRON POWERBOMB! Hangman puts Bryan in, takes aim as fans fire up, but Bryan bails out the far side to avoid the Buckshot. Hangman is annoyed but he just builds speed again, and DIVES! But Bryan sends him into railing! Fans are chanting, “A E W! A E W!” which is a little odd but Bryan drags Hangman up to wrench and POST that bad arm! Bryan drags Hangman by the bad arm while the ring count climbs, and Bryan hammerlocks Hangman as he POSTS him again! Bryan goes into the ring to soak up some heat, and then he goes back out after Hangman to wrench for an ELBOW BREAKER!
Bryan puts Hangman in as the count restarts, and he has Hangman in a corner for KICKS! Bryan CHOPS and KICKS and CHOPS, but Hangman CHOPS back! And CHOPS! But Bryan wrenches the bad arm to an ELBOW BREAKER, then he wrangles Hangman down to STOMP the bad arm! Fans are fired up as Bryan drags Hangman up. Bryan wrenches, hits another ELBOW BREAKER, then wrangles Hangman back down for a hammerlock. Bryan KNEES the arm, pulls on the arm, but Hangman endures. Fans rally, Bryan gets the far arm and gets a recliner cradle, TWO! Bryan stands Hangman up to EuroUpper!
Bryan whips, Hangman reverses, Bryan ducks and dodges but leaps into a FALL AWAY SLAM! Bryan goes to the apron, but Hangman kips up! Fans fire up, Hangman triangle jumps, but Bryan dodges the lariat! Hangman ducks the back elbow to triangle jump and LARIAT again! Then he PLANCHAS Bryan down! Hangman puts Bryan in the ring and goes up the corner. Fans fire up, Hangman leaps, FLYING LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Both men slowly stand and fans rally up. Hangman CHOPS, then whips, but Bryan reverses. Hangman kicks Bryan away, then runs, only for Bryan to toss him up and out! Now Bryan builds speed, and he DIVES! But Hangman catches him for a BACK DROP!
Fans fire up for “COWBOY SH*T!” Hangman runs in but Bryan drop toeholds him into steel steps! The ref tells Bryan to get in the ring so he does, and he soaks up the heat while gloating. Hangman is busted open, just like Winter is Coming! Bryan goes out after Hangman to punch the wound! “Who’s the best?!” Bryan shouts as AEW goes picture in picture.
Bryan goes into the ring, the ref checks on Hangman, and Bryan looks to the judges at ringside again. Bryan goes back out to get himself a drink of water while Hangman flounders by the steps. Bryan brings Hangman up to dig his forehead into the steps! Bryan smacks Hangman off the steps, then whips him into railing! Bryan refreshes the ring count, drags Hangman back up, and he wrenches the bad arm to hammerlock it again. Bryan brings Hangman over to the railing and fish hooks his face right in front of the judges! Bryan lets off to then go back to the ring and refreshes the count again.
Hangman gets up and chops, but it doesn’t do enough. Bryan wrenches to another ELBOW BREAKER, then he hammerlocks and POSTS Hangman’s bad arm again! Hangman is dazed on the floor but Bryan drags him up and into the ring. Bryan soaks up the heat as he taunts Hangman, and he wipes Hangman’s blood off on the ref! AEW returns to single picture as Bryan headbutts the bloody forehead! And again! And again! Bryan keeps after that wound while holding hair but the ref reprimands. Bryan headbutts again but Hangman CHOPS! Bryan headbutts, Hangman CHOPS, repeat! Bryan gets the edge with the headbutts, then he HALF HATCH SUPLEXES!
Bryan shifts to a top mount for a ground ‘n’ pound! Bryan then gets the ARMBAR! Hangman clasps hands but Bryan sits up to punch the forehead again! The ref reprimands, Bryan lets off, and the judges are definitely taking notes here. Bryan stands Hangman up to CHOPS him! And KICK! And whip corner to corner, but Hangman reverses! Bryan goes up and over and keeps moving, but Hangman fireman’s carries for a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Both men are down again and fans are loving “A E DUB!” for this opener. The ref has a standing count, but Bryan gets up in the corner at 4. And Hangman CHOPS him!
Hangman CHOPS again, Bryan turns it around to CHOP! And headbutt! And KICK! Bryan whips, Hangman reverses again, and he hits the clothesline! Hangman reels Bryan in but Bryan gets around, GERMAN SUPELX But Hangman lands on his feet! He gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX Bryan! Bridging cover, TWO! Fans are thunderous as both men slowly rise. Bryan KICKS Hangman, and KICKS, and KICKS! Hangman stands up as the KCIKS keep coming, and he throws forearms! Bryan forearms back, but runs into a BOOT! Hangman reels Bryan in but Bryan resists the suplex. Bryan tries to suplex but Hangman resists.
Hangman suplexes himself and Bryan up and out, then suplexes again! Bryan slips off to POST Hangman, face first! The blood keeps pouring and “This is Awesome!” as it’s far from over. Bryan drags Hangman up, brings him back to the corner, and says, “You asked for it!” But Hangman blocks the yank, and he YANKS Bryan in! And again! And again!! The ring count is climbing, Hangman drags himself in at 5 of 10. The ref goes out to check on Bryan but Hangman comes back for more. Hangman puts Bryan in, stands Bryan up, and he gives back headbutts! Hangman wants to bust Bryan open in return!
Bryan is floundering, it’s hard to tell if it’s Bryan’s blood, but Hangman is doing jumping jacks! Fans are loving this as AEW goes back to picture in picture.
Hangman sits back in a corner while Bryan is dazed. The ref checks on Bryan but he’s somehow okay to continue. Bryan flounders, he looks to be bleeding on his own now, and the ref keeps Hangman back. Hangman backs away and the medic now checks on Bryan. Bryan refuses, though, he doesn’t want this to stop the match. Bryan flounders into the ring, so Hangman gets back in and stomps him! Bryan eggs Hangman on, Hangman drags Bryan up to throw hands! Hangman now smears himself with Bryan’s blood! Hangman hoists Bryan up top, CHOPS him, then throws a forearm. Hangman climbs up and throws more hands on Bryan’s forehead!
AEW returns to single picture again as Hangman throws even more haymakers! Bryan headbutts back! Hangman forearms, Bryan headbutts, Hangman headbutts, and headbutts and headbutts and headbutts! Fans are loving it, Hangman’s getting red hair from so much blood! He stands Bryan up for a SUPER FALL AWAY SLAM!! Cover, TWO!! Bryan survives and fans are still loving this! Bryan goes to the apron, Hangman runs to triangle- NO! Bryan shoves Hangman down to the floor! Hangman gets back to his feet, Bryan goes to that apron and LEAPS, into the Alabama lift, and the DEADEYE!! Bryan is twitching as Hangman puts him in the ring!
Hangman’s wild eyes are clear through the crimson mask, and he wants Bryan to get back up! Slingshot, but Bryan just drops under the Buckshot! Hangman takes his time going to Bryan, but Bryan gets a cradle! TWO!! Bryan was playing possum, but now he gets Hangman’s arm! Omoplata, LEBELLE LOCK!! Hangman endures, Bryan pulls back as hard as he can, and the hands are on Hangman’s eyes! Hangman fights up, has the legs, and he catapults Bryan out! Bryan has the ropes, but he can’t skin the cat at this point. Hangman BOOTS Bryan down! Hangman goes out, climbs back up top, ARIHARA MOONSAULT! Direct hit!!
Hangman gets Bryan back in fast, takes aim again, and fans are electric! Slingshot, but Bryan dodges to BUSAIKU KNEE!! Cover, TWO!?! No one can believe Hangman survives! Bryan sputters, the ref checks him but he’s okay to continue. Bryan and Hangman sit up slowly, Bryan grabbing the hair. Fans hope they “Fight Forever!” but this has to end somehow. Hangman headbutts, Bryan headbutts back! Hangman headbutts, Bryan headbutts back. And again, and again. Hangman gives just as many back! Bryan rebounds to get a RUNNING HEADBUTT! Hangman rebounds to RUNNING HEADBUTT! They’re still giving headbutts!!
Bryan ROUNDHOUSES, and ROLLING ELBOWS! And then ROUND- NO! Hangman gets under, but no Alabama! Bryan Gotch lifts, for a PILEDRIVER!! Cover, TWO!!! Minoru Suzuki wouldn’t like that! Bryan drags himself up and starts to grin! Bryan staggers back to Hangman, gets the arms, and unleashes the DANIELSON STOMPS! Bryan lets off, hobbles to a corner, and he takes aim as Hangman stands. BUSA- NO! POP-UP POWERBOMB! But Bryan gets Hangman in a TRIANGLE! Bryan rains down elbows, but Hangman deadlifts! Bryan lets go, gets the leg and has a HEEL HOOK! Hangman kicks with the free leg!
Bryan lets go, Hangman turns him over and gives clubbing crossface forearms! Hangman gets Bryan up, BIG back drop driver!! Hangman goes to the apron, throws off his armband and he takes aim again. Bryan slowly rises, Hangman slingshots, BUCKSHOT!!! Cover, Hangman wins!!
Winner: Hangman Page, by pinfall (still AEW World Champion)
The judges weren’t needed, we have a decision! And we still have so much more still in store for tonight! What more does Hangman have in his reign as he leads the way into 2022?
The Acclaimed speak.
“Yo, listen.” Last week on Rampage, Anthony Bowens had Darby Allin beat, but just like everyone else in his generation, Sting had to get involved. “OK, boomer.” But in typical fashion, the Acclaimed still stood tall. Mwah! Three cheers for sweet revenge, and they’re not done with Darby’s “Nightmare Before Christmas lookin’ ass.” Next week, they’ll show Sting how their generation handles business. They’ll have a viral video! A brand new music video debuts next week! Will Platinum Max have a new diss track classic on deck?
MJF VS Shawn Dean!
Maxwell Jacob Friedman is still undefeated even now, and he wants to finally make his way to the AEW World Championship. But will the Captain pop MJF’s bubble and let out all that hot air?
The bell rings, fans rally up, but here comes CM Punk! Punk wants after MJF, but MJF bails right out! MJF mocks Punk, “Aw, waaah~!” and even Dean wants to know what’s up. Dean eggs MJF on, Punk attacks Dean?! That’s a disqualification win for Dean!
Winner: Shawn Dean, by disqualification
And to top it off, Punk gives Dean a G T S! So MJF loses!! That makes MJF 0-1 in the New Year! Punk gets the mic to say, “This is your future. This happens every single time you step in the ring, until you step in the ring with me, you little bitch!” MJF says it’s bad enough that he is inside the cesspool that is “herpes infested” Newark, New Jersey…! Punk says MJF can’t get at them, they’re winners while MJF just lost! And it’ll be real hard to fight for a title if you keep losing. MJF says if we’re talking about being a loser, everything that comes out of Punk’s mouth is fake! It is fake and boring. Fans tell MJF to STFU but he shrugs that out.
Punk came out last week and said he was done with MJF. Punk wanted to focus on becoming champion. But look at what just happened. And why? Punk might have the fans fooled, but MJF knows the truth. The truth is that deep down, that without MJF, Punk has nothing! MJF gives Punk his edge, that chip on his shoulder, and makes him relevant. Fans call BS now, but MJF says for fans to come out and claim he’s some waste of money, when Punk is the one who sold the company nothing but a bill of goods. Punk ain’t who he used to be. He ain’t the savior the fans have been waiting for. But y’know who is? Maxwell Jacob Friedman!
And by the way, MJF finds it interesting that Punk has a problem MJF saying he’s like Roddy Piper. So MJF is just curious, “PG Punk,” who do you think you are? Because last time MJF checked, unlike Punk, Piper was actually talented enough to main event WrestleMania. MJF wants the fans to shut up, he’s talking. And if MJF isn’t starting to be shown the proper respect, maybe MJF will go main event a Mania, too. Punk laughs at that one and MJF asks him why. “All I’m trying to do is kick your ass, so how about you stop talking and get in the ring?” MJF ran away, hid behind FTR, all Punk wants is to give MJF the beating he deserves.
Oh, and if MJF thinks the grass is so much greener on the other side, go right ahead. Leave, main event “Night Four of a buy one, get one free extravaganza,” and then get released faster than you last in the sack! When MJF comes back, Punk will still be here, and that ass kicking will be waiting. MJF asks if Punk wants the match! He asks if the fans want the match! Well then, listen here you SOB! Next week, it’ll be CM Punk… VS WARDLOW! Of course MJF finds a way out of this. MJF says he doesn’t need Punk because he’s better than him. Fans still call BS.
Punk says the difference between himself, Piper and a worm like MJF, is that Punk and Piper will fight anyone, any time. MJF is going to run out of people to hide behind eventually, and Punk will put MJF to sleep. The clock is ticking! Will MJF’s muscle save him from the Best in the World? Or will Punk be unstoppable in his mission to shut MJF up?
AEW looks closer at Battle of the Belts.
Jennifer Nettles, Cody’s cohost/fellow judge on the Go Big Show, narrates. “In 2022, at the inaugural Battle of the Belts, it will all begin again. The TNT Champion, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes, does everything big.” He won on the first AEW Dynamite, defeating Sammy Guevara. But Sammy’s story doesn’t end there, as he continue on to establish himself as a Pillar of AEW, and two years later, upset Miro and became TNT Champion. But on Christmas, Cody went big again and won the title for a third time. The big week continues with Go Big Show’s return, and then Saturday Fight Night. Will Sammy take the title back? Or will he fail to go big enough to stop Cody?
Chris Jericho is here!
Fans sing Judas for him as he heads to the ring. Jericho applauds Newark and he gets the mic. “NEW JERSEY~! What a historical night here tonight. The very first episode of AEW on TBS here tonight!” Fans chant for TBS and Jericho continues to say that’s the first time ever in wrestling history. A bit of a homecoming, too, as Jericho hasn’t been on TBS since April 7th, 1999, when Jericho was on WCW Thunder losing to Booker T. “I think he cheated.” But it is great to be back on TBS and in Newark, and most of all, great to be back anywhere after “those two jerkoff 2point0 jagoffs” hit him with a chair six weeks ago.
It took Jericho a bit to get the cobwebs out, and that is why he didn’t come out to save Eddie Kingston, but to get some revenge on the 2point0 dipsh*ts, baybay! But speaking of, here they come! Matt Lee & Jeff Parker have mics as they go to the ring, and they say, “Isn’t this nice?” “Welcome back, Chris Jericho! How ya doin’?” “Got the sing along going. How nice.” Jericho says, “Ladies and gentlemen, Terrence & Philip!” Real funny guy, Jericho. A comedian, even. Maybe he doesn’t remember last time, but they gave him a taste of a steel chair! How do ya like that? Sorry, he didn’t like the taste. And Jericho can’t help it, he is distracted by Lee’s square head.
Lee looks like a talking Post-It Note, or a waffle! Doesn’t he have a square head? Fans chant “Square Head!” but Parker tells Jericho to shut his mouth! Don’t call Lee a square head! Right, then can he call Parker a pinhead? Fans chant, “PIN~ HEAD!” Let’s hear it for Square Head & Pinhead! Lee says Parker isn’t a pinhead, and Parker says Lee isn’t a square head! Does he want another taste? No, but he’ll grab Floyd the Baseball Bat and knock both their blocks off! But then Garcia gets in the ring! Jericho hits Garcia down but then gets mugged by 2point0! But here come Santana, Ortiz and Eddie Kingston!
They run Garcia & 2point0 off and fans are fired up! This Friday, Rampage sees a No Holds Barred Six Man Tag! Will The Mad King and Proud ‘n’ Powerful get revenge on Red Death and 2point0?
Adam Cole & reDRagon speak.
That thing on, Brandon? Yeah? Good. Because last week, that was awesome. Think about it: these three whooped Orange Cassidy’s ass, then Best Friends’ ass, and “the boys” are back together. Cole knows Kyle didn’t mean to kick him in the face. That was an accident. But what wasn’t an accident was the Young Bucks coming down and making sure these three got the win. Think about this: together, all five will be unstoppable! They’re a super group! These are exciting times! And speaking of, Jake Atlas made the news by being the newest young star signed to AEW. Cole thinks on Rampage, Cole VS Atlas!
That way, Cole can remind all the new kids that Cole is STILL the guy everyone’s talking about. Cole can even buy Atlas a one-way ticket back to Orlando. This is a New Year, but the same Adam Cole Baybay. Cut, Brandon. Cut, Landon! Kyle doesn’t care to know Brandon’s name, but will Cole learn to show respect to the Muscle of El Camino?
Wardlow w/ Shawn Spears VS Antonio Zambrano!
Mr. Mayhem still has his accountabilibuddy with him, but will The Chair Man let Wardlow do things his way?
Zambrano gets out of the ring a moment before the match starts, but Spears goes right after him! C4 to the floor! Spears puts Zambrano back in, the ref rings the bell and Wardlow can’t believe Spears did that! But Wardlow decides to pick the bones anyway, POWERBOMB! Fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” and Wardlow obliges, he drags poor Zambrano back up for another POWERBOMB! And then again for a third POWERBOMB! Spears sighs but Wardlow drags Zambrano up yet again, for a fourth POWERBOMB! And then right back up to a FIFTH POWERBOMB! One foot cover, Wardlow wins!
Winner: Wardlow, by pinfall
Spears still gets a CHAIR SHOT in, and he celebrates with Wardlow as they exit. Wardlow does his own dirty work, but will he be satisfied with doing MJF’s next week against CM Punk?
AEW TBS Women’s Championship Tournament Finals: Jade Cargill w/ Mark Sterling VS Ruby Soho!
The tournament is finally coming to a close, and one way or another, TBS is getting their first Women’s Champion! Will it be the undefeated and nearly unstoppable Jade Cargill? Or will the Runaway make her hard journey worth it by reaching the goal?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and one way or another, history is being made in Newark!
Jade and Ruby stare down as they approach each other. Fans rally and duel, the two tie up, and Jade arm-drags Ruby to then kip up. Ruby shakes it off, she circles with Jade and they tie up again. Jade puts Ruby in the corner, she lets off with a push, but Ruby JABS and fires forearms! Ruby eggs Jade on, Jade runs in but Ruby dumps her out! Ruby runs and RAMS Jade off the apron! Ruby then goes tot he apron to PENALTY KICK! And even a missile dropkick! Fans fire up with Ruby while Jade gets back in the ring. Ruby follows after her but Jade BOOTS her down! Jade stomps Ruby, CLUBS her down, then goes up the corner.
Jade goes to the very top, Ruby stands, Jade leaps to DOUBLE AX HANDLE! Sterling fires up and wants that again! Jade goes up again, Ruby staggers up but she gets Jade first with a SUPER ARM-DRAG! Ruby flops out of the ring, though, clutching her arm. But then Mercedes Martinez shows up! Mercedes helped Jade before, is she here to do it again. But Thunder Rosa shows up and goes right after Mercedes! They brawl back up the ramp and fans are fired up! Jade gets to the apron while the ref checks on Ruby. Ruby drags herself in the ring as AEW goes picture in picture.
Ruby sees Jade on the apron, but she runs into knees! Jade has Ruby on the apron now, and she chicken wings the arms! Ruby grabs the corner with her legs, fights back, and reels Jade in. Jade blocks the back suplex, throws hands, then pushes Ruby away. Jade CLUBS Ruby, wraps the bad arm around ropes, and then POSTS Ruby! Ruby clutches the shoulder but Jade just smiles as Ruby crawls away. Jade goes in after Ruby, shoves her down and stomps her, then drops a knee on the arm! Ruby writhes and flails but Jade drops another knee! Ruby crawls away to ropes, kicks back from below, but Jade KICKS her in the back!
Jade stomps Ruby, drags her up and puts her in the corner to fire forearms! Jade TOSSES Ruby across the ring, and she soaks up the heat. She even does push-ups just to show off! Jade goes back to Ruby but Ruby throws body shots. Jade CLUBS Ruby, looms over her, then CLUBS her again. Jade drags Ruby up, wraps the bad arm around ropes and pulls! The ref counts, Jade lets off, and she bumps Ruby off buckles. Jade runs in but into a BOOT! Ruby runs, gets around Jade, bumps her off buckles and has the O’Conner Roll! TWO and Ruby is sent into buckles! AEW returns to single picture, Jade “dribbles” and runs, but she misses the slam dunk!
Ruby runs side to side to BOOT! And then the other way to BOOT! And then again for another BOOT! Fans fire up but Jade swings, only for Ruby to spin her! Ruby blocks a kick, gives a KNEE then a SUPERKICK and ENZIGURI! Jade staggers, Ruby gets her for a waistlock, but Jade blocks the suplex! Jade headlocks, Ruby powers out and sends Jade to a corner. Jade stops herself but she might’ve jammed her leg! Jade staggers into Ruby’s STO! Cover, ONE!! Jade staggers but Ruby KICKS her bad leg at the ropes! And again! And again! Ruby brings Jade around, sobats, runs, but Jade scoops and brings Ruby around for a SHOULDER BREAKER!
Ruby staggers up, Jade BOOTS her back down! Cover, TWO!! Ruby is still in this and Jade is furious! Sterling coaches Jade and she drags Ruby back up. Jade brings Ruby around to whip to ropes, pops her up, fireman’s carry for- Sunset flip from Ruby! Jade stays up, drags Ruby back up but Ruby ROCKS Jade with a forearm! Jade blocks the saido again, throws elbows over and over, but Ruby reels her back in for a SAIDO! Cover, TWO!! Jade survives and Ruby grows frustrated. Sterling gets on the apron to distracts the ref, but the ref EJECTS him! Sterling throws a fit, and throws off his jacket! Ruby laughs at Sterling, but Jade gets the arms! JAD- NO! Victory roll, TWO!!
Ruby hurries to get Jade’s arm, wrench and NO FUTURE KICK! Cover, TWO?!?! Ruby can’t believe it and neither can the fans! Ruby grits her teeth and fights through the pain as fans rally up. Ruby drags Jade up, bumps Jade off buckles, runs in, but Jade boots her back! Jade gets the arms, Ruby drops to victory roll, TWO! Jade gets up in a huff, misses in the corner and Ruby fires off forearms and CHOPS! And then she just hammers away on Jade’s back! Fans fire up with Ruby and she hoists Jade up to the top. Ruby goes for the arm but Jade punches her away! Ruby staggers, fans duel, Ruby goes up and up to get the arm!
Jade blocks the super arm-drag, gets the chicken wings, SUPER JADED!! Cover, Jade wins!!
Winner: Jade Cargill, by pinfall (inaugural AEW TBS Women’s Champion)
Jade’s daughter is in the front row, and she just witnessed her mom make history! Jade is 23-0 and the first-ever TBS Champion, how much higher will she climb?
Jim Ross interviews Serena Deeb.
There are so many things to be excited about working for AEW, and one is the evolving rivalry of Serena and Shida. Serena says her intention was respect. She wanted to wrestle “civilized matches,” but she didn’t get that as Shida got fluke victories. From here on out, this is now about Serena hurting Shida, and claiming her spot at the top of the division, where she belongs. JR thinks she’s taking this rather personally, and that something is eating away at Serena about Shida. He can’t put his finger on it, would she like to elaborate? She turns it around with a question of her own: “Do you think there is any woman on this roster that’s on my level?” A tough question, but probably not.
Damn right. The reason she’s the Professor of Professional Wrestling is because she has “a PhD in this sh*t!” She’s paid her dues more than enough for every woman in the locker room. Yes, Serena takes issue with Shida. She doesn’t whine, she takes what she wants. She demanded a match with Shida next week! Serena takes 17 years of anger and frustration out on Shida to the point where Shida will not be walking out on her own! Will the Woman of 1000 Holds look to use all 1000 to torture the Full Metal Warrior?
Malakai Black VS Brian Pillman Jr. w/ Julia Hart!
The Dark Father misted Julia Hart and damaged Griff Garrison, but there’s still one Varsity Blond putting up a fight. Will Bulletproof Brian Pillman Jr. get revenge for his brother and sister in arms? Or will he simply be made to #FadeToBlack?
Surprisingly, Julia is here, but she is wearing an eyepatch in the eye Malakai hit with the mist. The bell rings, BPJ and Malakai stare down, and the two approach. They circle, tie up, and go around the ropes. They end up in a corner, scrap, keep moving, and BPJ pushes Malakai against ropes. BPJ lets off with a pat on the shoulder, but he narrowly avoids the Black Mass! BPJ rushes back in, Malakai headlocks but BPJ powers out. Malakai runs BPJ over, things keep moving and BPJ dropkicks Malakai to a corner! BPJ runs in, Malakai elbows him back then goes up to QUEBRADA! BPJ gets under, he throws Malakai out and WRECKS him with a dropkick!
BPJ fires off on Malakai as AEW goes picture in picture! He hammers away on Malakai, the ref has him let off and put Malakai back in the ring. BPJ aims from the apron, springboards in, but Malakai ROUNDHOUSES him down! BPJ staggers away, Malakai goes out and BOOTS BPJ down! Malakai drags BPJ up, wraps his arm around the post and PULLS! Then Malakai BOOTS the bad arm! BPJ staggers away, Malakai goes around the way and ROCKS him with a forearm! Malakai hammerlocks the arm again for an APRON BACK SUPLEX! Fans rally up as Malakai follows BPJ back into the ring. Malakai kicks BPJ around, but BPJ CHOPS back!
Malakai ROCKS BPJ with another forearm, then he wrenches an arm to another hammerlock. BPJ fights the back suplex, kicks, but Malakai blocks. BPJ kicks Malakai to a corner, then runs in, only to get POST! BPJ flops out of the ring and to the floor, but Malakai goes out after him. Malakai drags BPJ up and into the ring, drags him back up and whips him to KNEE him against ropes. Malakai snapmares, then gets the arm for a short arm scissor! BPJ endures, moves around, high stack, TWO!! BPJ kicks, reels Malakai in and suplexes, but the bad arm stops him! Malakai waistlocks, BPJ elbows out, but Malakai blocks kick to get an STO!
Malakai looms over BPJ, drags him up, but BPJ powers up to SINGLE LEG SUPLEX! Both men are down and a standing count begins. Malakai gets up, BPJ CHOPS him! Malakai throws a forearm and AEW returns to single picture. BPJ CHOPS, Malakai KCIKS! BPJ ducks another kick, rolls him up, TWO! ROUNDHOUSE! BPJ drops and Malakai lifts him up with a foot. BPJ pushes the foot away, Malakai DECKS him. Malakai lifts BPJ again, but BPJ won’t let go of the foot! BPJ spins Malakai to ROCK him with a right! BPJ whips, Malakai swings but BPJ dodges to CLOBBER Malakai! BPJ starts to rally and fires up!
BPJ runs but into a BOOT! He still CHOPS back! BPJ reels Malakai in, suplex, JACKHAMMER! Cover, TWO!! BPJ goes to the corner, fans fire up and BPJ springboards, but he trips up on the ropes! BLACK MASS!! Kneeling cover, Malakai wins!
Winner: Malakai Black, by pinfall
Julia goes into the ring to check on BPJ, but Malakai turns his attention to her. She’s already lost one eye, but here come the Lucha Brothers! They’re here for revenge on Pac’s behalf, but then the lights turn off! When the lights turn back on, Malakai has switched places with them! The Lucha Brothers still want him to fight them, but he takes his leave. Will Penta & Fenix be able to switch focus back to their tag title defense?
Backstage interview with Ruby Soho.
Schiavone says that was a great match, Ruby fought from first round to the last, but then Britt Baker and friends walk in. What does she want?! Britt says this is the second time Ruby couldn’t get the job done. Big talk coming from someone who can’t even win without her broads. Come to think of it, Britt hasn’t beaten her coming opponent, Riho, at all, with or without help. So maybe Britt should prepare for Saturday and just leave Ruby alone. Britt DECKS Ruby and then fires off on her! Jamie Hayter gets her shots in, but RIHO rushes in! The refs and security hurry to stop this before it gets any worse! Will Britt put up or shut up when Battle of the Belts comes ’round?
The Factory speaks.
Everyone’s talking about Hook, but they’re not mentioning how he learned everything from QT Marshall at his school. “That little delinquent used to do nothing but show up late, leave early, eat chips and stretch people.” QT can’t understand where that behavior came from when Hook’s dad is such a great guy. But one guy Hook didn’t stretch is Aaron Solo. Solo tells Hook, “Stretch me if you can, survive if I let you.” Solo mocks Taz’s famous catchphrase, but will Solo find that it’s going to be the other way around?
This just in!
After that scrap we just saw, Rampage adds one more match! Britt Baker & Jamie Hayter VS Ruby Soho & Riho! Will The Dentist be feeling so confident if she loses to Riho just 24 hours before the title match?
AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Lucha Brothers w/ Alex Abrahantes VS Jurassic Express w/ Christian Cage!
Tension has been rising between these two teams the closer and closer Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus got to being #1 contenders. Now things have come to a head, and we’ll see if Fenix & Penta can continue to reign in the New Year, or if it is finally time for Tarzan Life to take over!
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we revisit that instant classic from the summer Rampage!
JB starts against Fenix and fans rally up. “CERO MIEDO!” “JUNGLE BOY!” The two feel out the grapple and knuckle lock. They go around, Fenix flips JB over but JB cranks the knuckle locks. Fenix turns things around and wraps JB up, to then ripcord, only for JB to dodge and knuckle lock again. JB NORTHERNLIGHTS, bridging covers, TWO! Fenix monkey flips, both men are down for a double cover, TWO as Fenix rolls back. Cover, TWO as JB gets an arm up. Fenix pushes it down, TWO, JB bridges! JB jumps up to RANA, cover, TWO! Fenix sunset flips, TWO! Fenix sobats but JB blocks so Fenix CHOPS! Fenix whips and DROPKICKS JB right down!
Fenix stares Luchasaurus down, then drags JB over to tag in Penta. They double back suplex but JB lands on his feet! Luchasaurus tags in and fans fire up! The four men stare down, Penta SUPERKICKS JB and Luchasaurus BOOTS Fenix! Luchasaurus and Penta stare down, but Penta takes his time to take off the glove. Penta tosses it to Alex and the catch is good! “Listen! CERO! MIEDO!” Luchasaurus swings, Penta dodges and CHPOS, but Luchasaurus doesn’t flinch! Penta CHOPS again, and again, and now Luchasaurus feels it. But then he spins Penta to CHOP Penta down! Fenix gets in to SUPERKICK Luchasaurus, but JB SUPERKICKS Penta!
Fenix sobats JB and knuckle locks to then run, but JB stops him to CHOP him. JB runs, but Penta is there. JB knuckle locks them both, kicks and kicks, but the Lucha Brothers keep him from jumping up. Fenix and Penta CHOP JB, then Fenix CHOPS Luchasaurus. Fenix knuckle locks Luchasaurus, JB kicks Penta while Fenix kicks Luchasaurus. JB and Fenix stare at each other, they both go up and rebound to ARM-DRAG the others! Fans fire up as JB and Fenix kip up! But then Penta SUPERKICKS JB down! Luchasaurus DOUBLE LARIATS the brothers! Fans fire up while Luchasaurus glares at Penta.
Luchasaurus brings Penta up, puts him in a corner and fires off heavy hands. Then a GERMAN SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Luchasaurus drags Penta back up, fireman’s carries, but Penta slips off and shoves him to the corner. BLINDSIDE SUPERKICK! Fenix adds a GAMANGIRI, Penta swings but Luchasaurus swats him! JB tags in, but so does Fenix. The Lucha Brothers intercept JB with double wrench and whip to the corner. Fenix runs in but JB puts him on the apron. JB slips out to evade Penta, slides under, but Fenix springboards in! JB slides out to avoid stomps, then shoulders into Fenix.
JB GAMANGIRIS Penta, then slingshots over Fenix, to run and HEADSCISSOR ARM-DRAG COMBO! The brothers bail out, JB builds speed and slides, but Penta ducks! Penta pops JB up, Fenix tightrope walks and KICKS JB down! Fans fire up as AEW goes picture in picture.
Penta drags JB up, stands him against the apron and CHOPS him! JB flops down, Penta drags him up and puts him back in. Fenix drags JB up to fireman’s carry and DEATH VALLEY BOMB! Fenix then rebounds off ropes to SPLASH! Fenix drags JB around, wraps on a chinlock and grinds JB down. JB endures, even as Fenix throws elbows. Fenix has a standing cradle cover, TWO! Fenix stomps JB more, then holds him open for Penta’s QUE PASO! Double stomps to the banana bunch while Fenix SUPERKICKS Luchasaurus down! Fenix tags Penta in, they drag JB up to CLUB him down, then Penta has JB against ropes. Penta puts a leg on the rope to run and KICK it!
JB writhes, clutches his leg, but Penta keeps him away from Luchasaurus. JB hits Penta but Penta CLUBS JB down. Penta hears the fans chanting for him, and he drags JB up to whip to ropes, to then SUPERKICK! JB flops down, Penta talks trash to Luchasaurus, then he covers. TWO, but Penta drags JB up and tags in Fenix. They have JB in the corner, Fenix CHOPS JB down! Fenix drags JB up, reels him in and suplexes, but JB blocks! JB throws body shots, AEW returns to single picture, but Fenix shoves him to the corner. Fenix runs in but JB ducks the sobat! Fenix hurries to keep JB away from Luchasaurus, shoves him to ropes, COMEBACKER!
Fenix hurries to tag in Penta, and Penta reels JB in. Back suplex, but JB lands on his feet! JB dodges and hot tags Luchasaurus! The wrestling dinosaur rallies on the brothers! He puts Penta in one corner, Fenix in the other, Luchasaurus runs to back elbow Penta, then back elbow Fenix, and repeat! Fenix dodges, but Luchasaurus DOUBLE LARIATS the Lucha Brothers! Fans fire up, Luchasaurus gets Fenix with a choke grip, then he gets Penta with the inverted grip. Penta slips out to KICK, Fenix SUPERKICKS! Luchasaurus swings but into double mule kicks! Uno, dos, tres! DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! Then wheelbarrow victory roll SPLASH! Cover, TWO!
The ref wants the Lucha Brothers to be one at a time, so Fenix gets out. Penta stomps Luchasaurus, he tags Fenix in, and then Penta climbs. Fenix wants to set Luchasaurus up, but JB anchors Penta! Luchasaurus rolls back to SPIKE headscissor Fenix into the mat! Then Luchasaurus BOOTS Penta! Luchasaurus fireman’s carries Penta. JB LEAPS over to hit a DESTROYER on Fenix! POWERSLAM on Penta! Cover, TWO!! Penta survives and fans lose their minds Luchasaurus drags Penta up, he tags in JB, and Luchasaurus scoops Penta. Penta slips out to SUPERKICK Luchasaurus, and SUPERKICK JB!
Luchasaurus sees Fenix on the apron and grabs him with both hands! He yanks Fenix right up, but Fenix hits a DESTROYER of his own!! Penta gets JB in the half nelson, pump handle, MADE IN JAPAN! Cover, TWO!! JB survives now and fans are thunderous! The Lucha Brothers get JB up, “CERO! MIEDO!” They have JB set up, but then the lights turn off again! It can’t be! The lights turn back on, Malakai is nowhere to be seen. Was he just playing mind games? The Lucha Bros bring this to the apron, but Luchasaurus gets up to save JB! He shoves Penta, dodges Fenix, but Penta ENZIGURIS! Fenix steps up to SOBAT!
Penta gets JB set up again but Luchasaurus is there. Penta puts JB’s legs on the corner, Fenix runs and TORNILLOS! Down goes Luchasaurus! Penta hits a DRAPING FEAR FACTOR!! “This is Awesome!” and Fenix tags in as he goes up! DOUBLE STOMP FEAR FACTOR!! Cover, TWO!?!? No one can believe JB survives, but he did! Wait, Alex is getting the timekeeper’s table?! He sets it up at ringside, he wants them to finish this off! But Christian chases Alex off! Fenix and Penta coordinate, but Luchasaurus gets back up. Fenix CHOPS away on him, but Luchasaurus BOOTS Fenix! Penta SUPERKICKS Luchasaurus but he holds on! Another SUPERKICK but he’s still holding on!
Penta tries again but Luchasaurus blocks and then HEADBUTTS Penta back! Fenix runs in, goes up, but Luchasaurus catches him! CHOKE SLAM through the table!!! Fans lose their minds, but Fenix’s arm is broken!! The replay confirms, that elbow shouldn’t bend that way!! Penta hurries to finish this off in the meantime, and he gets JB up! JB slips out, chicken wings, and he shouts out Captain Charisma! No, no Killswitch! Penta shoves, avoids the Comebacker, and he tucks JB in, but JB victory rolls it! JURASSIC EXPRESS WINS!!
Winners: Jurassic Express, by pinfall (NEW AEW World Tag Team Champions)
Penta can’t believe he got caught, but he did! Jungle Boy’s mom and sister are ringside, they’re crying tears of joy as he and Luchasaurus win the gold! Christian raises their arms in victory, he is so proud of his guys! But the rest of the AEW Tag Division walks out on stage, and we also see Chris Jericho, Santana and Ortiz, and even Malakai Black watching from up high. Who will be coming to challenge the new champions first in the New Year?
Another great AEW Dynamite, but especially for opening the year and the TBS era. Opening with the AEW World Championship was a great move, because it again gives the match time to breathe, and does make you wonder if they’ll go to the hour limit again. It didn’t quite go that long, but that was also very fitting. All that blood was concerning, especially as Bryan looked pretty bloody pretty quickly. But in the end, Hangman retains and there’s a lot of match-ups they can go with from here. Maybe Miro shows up, maybe they go with who is actually ranked next, maybe Hangman calls out someone he’s been wanting to face.
The Acclaimed calling out Darby & Sting was logical, and I’m definitely looking forward to their newest diss music video. Then I found it a little disappointing but still pretty creative that Punk cost MJF his match by attacking Dean. The promos were good, but we should’ve figured Wardlow would be set up against Punk. Wardlow of course decimates his opponent, even with Spears getting his shot in first. Wardlow VS Punk could turn into a mess if Spears and/or MJF are ringside. And of course another of the Go Big Show celebrity judges puts Cody over. The vignette was good stuff, and while I’m sure it’ll be a great match, I feel like Cody retains to keep the TNT title part of his story.
Jericho had a decent promo segment with 2point0, and of course he brought up “square head” again. But clearly things aren’t settled with Kingston, Santana & Ortiz, and their No Holds Barred Six Man is going to be great stuff. I feel like the only way this ends is with Jericho and Kingston having a match together against 2point0. We also got a good promo from No Longer Undisputed Era plugging Jake Atlas being signed but also their own story with the Young Bucks. Cole VS Atlas is going to be very good, and I wonder if reDRagon and the Bucks will get in each other’s way trying to help Cole, furthering the tension between them.
Serena Deeb had a very good interview promo segment with JR, and she is going to have one hell of a match with Shida. The TBS Championship match was also great, the story of Ruby’s arm and Jade’s leg was well done, but it was pretty clear Jade was going to win. She easily came up with the great catchphrase #ThatBitchShow, the Heel as the champion is a great standard for Faces to chase her, and it’ll be even bigger when someone finally beats Jade because then Jade’s first loss will also lose the title. Britt and Ruby had a good segment backstage, including the brawl with Hayter and Riho jumping in. Their tag match is going to be good, could be very telling about the math, but I sense then that Britt loses the tag match so that she finally beats Riho 1v1.
Malakai VS BPJ was really good, but naturally Malakai wins. He’s building up while his faction is forming in the shadows, and I can’t wait for the moment The House of Black is fully realized. I also like the segments being arranged so that they can use connected stories, aka the Lucha Brothers wanting to avenge Pac. Again, another moment where Malakai is waiting for his faction to form, and then he’ll take on… Well, it’ll just have to be Penta for Death Triangle, because Fenix legit broke/dislocated his elbow in tonight’s main event. Aside from that, this was an awesome main event, and I was surprised Jurassic Express won.
At the same time, knowing Fenix was legit injured, they could’ve called an audible. The Lucha Bros would probably have had to vacate the titles at this point, so putting it on Jurassic Express instead keeps things moving smoothly. No need for a vacant title tournament situation, just send the next team(s) up. Jurassic Express against any one of those teams that stood on stage makes for great stuff, and maybe this helps get teams like Private Party or Proud ‘n’ Powerful back in the mix after being cooled off by faction based story detours.
My Score: 9.1/10
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Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (3/29/23)
It’s Dynamite, BAYBAY!
It’s all about the BOOM!
Dynamite has the AEW International Championship, the IWGP United States Championship, and the wrestling return of ADAM COLE, BAYBAY!
- AEW International Championship: Orange Cassidy VS The Butcher w/ The Blade; wins and
- “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry VS Matt Hardy w/ The Firm; wins.
- Ruby Soho VS Willow Nightingale; wins.
- Six Man Tag: The Blackpool Combat Club VS Dalton Castle & The Boys; win(s).
- Adam Cole VS Daniel Garcia; wins.
- IWGP United States Heavyweight Championship: Kenny Omega VS Jeff Cobb; wins and
PLAY BY PLAY
[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage of AEW Dynamite will begin later tonight]
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Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (3/28/23)
QTV gets Dark!
QTV is in Universal Studios!
After helping Will Hobbs hold onto the AEW TNT Championship, QT Marshall & Aaron Solo get back in action! Will this be one for the headlines?
- AR Fox VS Nick Comoroto; Fox wins.
- Queen Aminata VS Skye Blue; Skye wins.
- Evil Uno VS Alexander Moss; Uno wins.
- Marina Shafir VS Steph De Lander; Shafir wins.
- Zack Clayton VS Schaff; Clayton wins.
- Top Flight VS Liam Gray & Adrian Alanis; Top Flight wins.
- QT Marshall & Aaron Solo w/ Harley Cameron VS Austin Green & Vary Morales; QT & Solo win.
- Brady Booker VS Serpentico; Brady wins.
- Konosuke Takeshita VS Cole Karter; Konosuke wins.
A good line-up here. Just as I was wondering where Nick Comoroto was, he’s here on Dark to put AR Fox over. For those unfamiliar, Steph De Lander is formerly Persia Pirotta of NXT, though she has a very different look now, I almost didn’t recognize her. Brady Booker, formerly Bodhi Hayward, is back in action, good to see him. And while most of these matches seem pretty straight forward, I feel like Queen Aminata VS Skye Blue is the one that could go either way. Skye’s been building herself up in AEW and ROH but Aminata is impressive in her own right.
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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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It's Dynamite, BAYBAY!
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QTV gets Dark!
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Another MASSIVE Monday!
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Will Hobbs is on a Rampage!
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