NXT UK starts the year off with golden opportunities!
NXT UK starts 2022 with both a tag team tournament, AND Meiko Satomura defending the NXT UK Women’s Championship against Blair Davenport!
- NXT UK Tag Team Championship Contender’s Eliminator Tournament: Symbiosis w/ Eddie Dennis VS Ashton Smith & Oliver Carter; Smith & Carter win and advance to the finals.
- Xia Brookside VS Myla Grace; Brookside wins.
- NXT UK Women’s Championship: Meiko Satomura VS Blair Davenport; Satomura wins and retains the title.
PLAY BY PLAY
NXT UK Tag Team Championship Contender’s Eliminator Tournament: Symbiosis w/ Eddie Dennis VS Ashton Smith & Oliver Carter!
Primate & Tyson T-Bone may be NXT UK’s most aggressive team, they’re up against the Hottest Tag Team Under the Sun! Will Symbiosis take a bite out of Smith & Carter? Or will Ready And Forward, Always Forward move toward a #1 contender’s match?
The teams sort out, Carter starts against Primate and they circle. They tie up, Primate powers Carter to a corner but the ref calls for the break. Primate grinds Carter’s face with forearms as he lets off but Carter comes back to wrench an arm to a wristlock. Primate knees low, CLUBS Carter down, then drags him away with an armlock. Fans rally, Carter fights up but Primate wrenches. Carter rolls, kangaroo kicks, then dropkicks Primate down! Fans fire up, Carter wrenches to CLUB the arm, then tags in Smith. Smith leap frogs to straddle attack the arm! Smith wrenches and back drops Primate, hooks the arm and drops back to tweak it!
Smith keeps on the arm, he wrenches and WRINGS Primate, then tags Carter. Assisted slingshot shoulder tackle! Carter gets Primate’s arm again and wrenches. Primate reaches, Carter knuckles and lifts him away from T-Bone to an arm-drag! Carter keeps on the arm with a grounded cording hold, then he wrenches to CLUB the arm. Tag to Smith, Smith takes the handoff but Primate rakes eyes! Tag to T-Bone! T-Bone runs and blocks the hip toss, but Smith headlocks. T-Bone powers out and RAMS shoulders. Things speed up, Smith dropkicks T-Bone to ropes! Smith runs to CLOBBER T-Bone!
Tag to Carter, he PENALTY KCIKS T-Bone down, then coordinates with Smith, SILLY STRING SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Carter CLUBS and CHOPS T-Bone, T-Bone shoves him away. Carter comes back for a tiger wall kick! T-Bone blocks the hip toss again, Carter headlocks, but T-Bone hits a BIG back suplex! T-Bone drags Carter up, tags in Primate, and they double suplex, only for Smith to make the save! Double dropkicks send Symbiosis out! Dennis has them regroup, Primate runs in, but into a hip toss! Carter grinds Primate’s arm, Dennis grows frustrated, and Smith tags in. Smith throws forearms, then he scoops and SLAMS Primate!
Smith brings Primate up right to a fireman’s carry! Dennis distracts, Carter argues with the ref, but Primate elbows free! Tag to T-Bone, Smith throws EuroUppers, only for T-Bone to CLUB him! T-Bone feeds Smith to Primate’s POP-UP POWERBOMB! PENALTY KICK from T-Bone! Cover, TWO! T-Bone KNEES Smith in the back, CLUBS him towards the ropes, then tags Primate. T-Bone has Smith draped on the rope, Primate hits a springboard AX HANDLE! Primate CLUBS Smith’s back more, but Carter coaches Smith on, Primate bumps Smith off buckles, tags in T-Bone, and T-Bone whips Primate in to RAM Smith!
Feed to a LARIAT, T-Bone drops an elbow! Cover, TWO! T-Bone keeps on Smith with an armlock and chinbar. Fans rally as Smith fights up, and he throws body shots and uppercuts! T-Bone ducks to hit anatomic BACKBREAKER, to a FALL AWAY SLAM! Cover, TWO! Tag to Primate, Symbiosis mugs Smith and Primate clamps on a half nelson and chinbar. Smith endures, Carter and the fans rally up for him, and Smith fights up to pry the hold! Primate reaches out, tag to T-Bone! Smith hurdles Primate, Primate DECKS Carter and T-Bone ROCKS Smith! Primate SPEARS Smith, T-Bone is up top, FROG SPLASH! Cover, Carter breaks it in time!
Primate goes after Carter, throws him out, and Symbiosis mugs Smith again. T-Bone RAMS into Smith, Primate tags in, and T-Bone whips Primate, only for Smith to POST him! Smith DUMPS T-Bone, and fans fire up as he heads for his corner! Primate intercepts but Smith back drops! Hot tag to Carter! Carter springboards to DOUBL EMISSILE DROPKICK! Carter kips up, runs to WHEEL KICK T-Bone, then he slides under Primate to CLOBBER him with forearm after forearm! LARIAT! Fans fire up, Carter pump handle URENAGES! T-Bone gets in, blocks one kick but not the EDDY GORDO KICK!
Carter whips Primate, Primate reverses but Carter QUEBRADAS! Cover, TWO!! Primate is still in this but Carter tags Smith! Assisted MOONSAULT, but Carter has to land on his feet as Primate moves! T-Bone drags Carter out, Primate CLOBBERS Smith. Primate whips Smith into the corner, tags T-Bone, and Dennis wants this finished! T-Bone scoops Smith, Primate tags back in and goes up. But Smith slips off to shove T-Bone into Primate! Smith clotheslines T-Bone outta the ring! Carter runs in to DIVE! Direct hit on T-Bone! Smith drags Primate off the top in a fireman’s carry, for a pop-up to the Electric Chair! Tag to Carter, ASH CUTTER!! Cover, Smith & Carter win!!
Winners: Ashton Smith & Oliver Carter, by pinfall (advance to the finals)
Now that’s a way to open the New Year! Will Smith & Carter be resolute in fulfilling their resolution of becoming NXT UK Tag Team Champions?
NXT UK Media catches up with Pretty Deadly.
Sam Stoker & Lewis Howley lost their NXT UK Tag Team Championships late in 2021- Why are they asking about this? Is this just to wind them up? Just to annoy them? And then Johnny Saint goes and gives a tag title opportunity to teams that win a tournament. But what about them? Pretty Deadly doesn’t get a rematch? But Sam Gradwell walks over to tell them he could hear their blubbering across the room. So he’s here with some advice: “You don’t get what you want around here by whining and complaining like stupid, weak brained, large babies. Think about that. Digest that.” Gradwell leaves, but Pretty Deadly shrug that off.
Meanwhile, in Dresden, Germany.
Ilja Dragunov trains as snow falls. “My intensity is not my real strength. But my life was always hard. My path was always difficult. But I never wanted it another way. I can’t ever truly lose, because what’s most important to me is nothing someone can take away from me. It’s my family.” He and his wife have been together for eight years, with all the hardships imaginable. She was the first person who ever accepted him the way he is, and loved him for who he is. His unbalanced character and high emotionality, she gave him the feeling that he is perfect the way he is.
After a couple years, they had Constantin, and it was very important that they gave him the right mindset. He is perfect the way he is, no matter how many mistakes you make. Sometimes he falls, and Ilja asks, “Why do we fall?” “Just to get back up again.” The describes their family and Ilja himself. He carries that with him every day. But Jordan Devlin… Devlin thinks that family is a weakness. He doesn’t feel what Ilja feels. Ilja doesn’t need nice cars or a penthouse, or buy people to cheer him. Ilja is enough. Ilja is real. And Ilja is a real champion. Will NXT UK’s Czar show the Irish Ace he isn’t worth as much as he thinks?
Noam Dar watches Frazer VS A-Kid.
El Nino Anonimo is the new #1 contender to the Heritage Cup, but Sha Samuels wants the camera to back up a bit. Is Dar alright? He isn’t worried, is he? Dar? Worried? About A-Kid? Another easy night at the office? No way, Sha knows him better than that. Dar’s so confident, he’s going to decide… No, Sha will decide the outcome that he wants for the match. Let’s “fix” this. Looking at Sha’s board of odds, Noam winning 2-0 is 6/4, Noam winning “outright” is 2/1, Noam with a Nova Rolla is 3/1, Noam with a submission is evens, A-Kid via “divine intervention” is 100/1, but bets odds are Noam wining in the fourth round, 11/1. Then they’ll make sure it goes down in the fourth.
Will the East End Butcher and the Scottish Supernova make those 11/1 odds 100% guaranteed? Or will “divine intervention” be more likely than they think?
Die Familie speaks.
Rohan Raja says week in and week out, they’ve been showcasing their potential to the world. And now that they are at full strength, they’re coming after the tag team gold. Teoman knows Jack Starz and Dave Mastiff are good friends, and that’s nice. But it takes more than that to win gold. It takes a bond, a family bond, like what they have. The eye sees everything. And what the eye sees is Die Familie winning the NXT UK Tag Team Championships.
Xia Brookside VS Myla Grace!
After making excuses about her admittedly sudden title opportunity, the spoiled second generation superstar is looking to redeem herself. Will NXT UK fly with Brookside once again? Or will Xia learn how to lose with Grace?
The bell rings and Xia circles with Myla. They tie up, fans duel and Myla wrenches to a wristlock. Xia grabs ropes and demands Myla let go, but Myla lets go before Xia even finishes complaining. Xia and Myla circle, tie up, and Xia headlocks. Myla wrenches out, wristlocks, but Xia pushes Myla in the face. Myla wrenches the wristlock but Xia pulls Myla’s hair! Xia also stomps Myla’s foot, wrenches Myla’s arm, and shimmies as she taunts Myla. Myla rolls, kips up and wrenches to WRING Xia out! Xia goes to ropes and complains about her arm but fans chant, “Who’s Your Daddy?” Xia returns, Myla rolls her up! TWO, and Xia knees low then CLUBS Myla on the back!
Xia whips, Myla slips under and rolls to trip Xia up. Myla then runs to basement dropkick Xia’s arm! Xia goes to a corner but she rams a shoulder into Myla. Myla runs in, blocks a boot and ROCKS Xia with a right! Myla runs in again, but Xia BOOTS her down! Xia stomps away on Myla, kicks her to ropes, then DOUBLE KNEES her in the back! “This is for you!” Xia stomps Myla down, then stomps away on Myla’s back! Fans still taunt Xia, but she lets off to drag Myla around. Snapmare and KICK! Cover, TWO! Xia CLUBS Myla, hooks up her arms, and she has a grounded cobra twist! Myla endures but fans rally up.
Xia is annoyed as Myla fights up and throws body shots. Myla arm-drags free, runs in at the corner, but Xia BOOTS her again! Xia runs in, Myla dodges and LARIATS! And again! Fans fire up with Myla and she runs in at the corner. She blocks the boots, puts Xia in the ropes, CHOPS and 619’s Xia down! Myla then steps in, springboards up, but Xia trips her up! Myla hits buckles and Xia shrieks! Xia KICKS Myla in the back, has the arms, BROKEN WINGS!! Cover, Xia wins!
Winner: Xia Brookside, by pinfall
They say winning makes everything better, so Xia should be in a better mood now. But will Xia continue to make everyone else feel miserable as she continues on with her bad attitude?
“Winning the first Heritage Cup Tournament changed my life, literally. And I feel like my life needs a new change. That’s why I can’t stop thinking about getting the NXT UK Heritage Cup back. That’s why I can’t stop training. I can’t afford to lose this match with Noam. Winning that cup was the first chapter of my legacy. And I’m more than ready to write the next one.” Will the Spanish Sensation look to start the sequel to his historic first reign?
Jack Starz & Dave Mastiff speak.
“What a year, Dave, 2021, for Starz & Mastiff. But 2022 is gonna be even bigger. And the first thing…” Well, okay, Starz can’t tell if that look on Mastiff’s face is a good one, or if he wants to break Starz’s legs. Mastiff looks at the camera and says this is his smile. He likes smiling. And why is that? Because of the NXT UK Tag Team Championships. Starz says that smile will get even bigger when they take those NXT UK Tag Team Championships!
Amale’s hope is sending waves through the WWE Universe.
“I became the first and only French female superstar in the WWE. Anything is possible, and if I can be this glimmer of hope, I will be happy.” Her heart felt speech has gotten quite the response on social media, and NXT UK Media caught up with her as she arrived. Amale was interrupted as one of the younger stars told her that her sacrifice is truly inspirational. Amale thanks her, but then Jinny walks over to say that it is inspirational, “to people like that.” But Jinny thinks the sob story is pathetic. Amale gets fired up, but Jinny’s limousine arrives, so she excuses herself. Stevie Turner walks over and says, “She kind of has a point.”
Amale’s anger goes after Stevie now! Amale leaves it at just yelling in French, but will the French Hope make Stevie wish she’d just kept quiet?
Walter is moving on.
After being part of NXT New Year’s Evil 2022 just last Tuesday, the Ring General announced that next week will be his “last stand” on NXT UK. The leader of Imperium has requested one final match on this brand, and it is a blockbuster! He is taking on the British Prodigy, will Walter’s farewell be a triumphant one?
Walter himself speaks now, saying, “Ever since I arrived in NXT UK, it was January 2019, I dominated this brand. I always preached what’s important to me, Marcel and Fabian: the mat is sacred to us. And for a historic title reign of 870 days, I brought back glory, respect and dignity to this sport.” But the time has come and Walter is leaving NXT UK for now. He has heard great things about his opponent, Nathan Frazer, and how Frazer is a high-flying, up-and-coming, incredibly talented future star of this brand. But Walter will say this: “I am not impressed with any of that.” Because just like everyone else, Frazer is in this for himself and has “taken the absolute piss” out of this great sport.
Walter vows that Frazer will learn one thing, and that one thing will never change: when the Ring General steps into the ring, he will come out victorious. For Walter, the mat is sacred. And will he use Frazer’s blood, sweat and tears to sanctify NXT UK one more time?
NXT UK Women’s Championship: Meiko Satomura VS Blair Davenport!
The Final Boss has battled in the ring for 20 years all around the world, and was the one to finally end the “Forever Champion” reign of Kay Lee Ray. But the gothic gladiator doesn’t care about any of that, because she is ICHIBAN GAIJIN! The irony is that the Number One Foreigner now has homefield advantage. Will Blair look to end Meiko’s reign to start 2022? Or will she learn exactly why Meiko’s the Best in the World?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who gets to reign in the New Year!
Fans rally up already as Meiko and Blair stare down, Fans sing “Meiko’s gonna kill~ you!” as the two circle. They tie up, are in a deadlock, but they break and circle. Meiko kicks, blocks Blair’s kick then kicks back! Blair backs away to a corner, Meiko gives her space and they circle again. Blair wants a test of strength, Meiko accepts the knuckle locks, and fans rally up as Blair wrenches the hands. Meiko powers up and kicks low to then drop sayanagi! Blair moves around as Meiko headlocks to avoid the cover. Blair headscissors free, Meiko kips free of that, and fans cheer as the two stand off.
Blair and Meiko tie up again, Blair moves Meiko around, but Meiko steps through then spins to arm-drag! Meiko has another headlock, but then she shifts to focus on the arm. Blair endures, even as Meiko pushes her chin down. Blair rolls, Meiko wrenches the arm to a wristlock, but Blair spins through. Meiko wrenches to WRING Blair’s arm, then keeps on the wristlock. Meiko KICKS the arm, and again, then jumps to WRING the arm again! Meiko has a DISARM-HER! Blair fights up, rolls, Meiko shifts but Blair makes it a cover, ONE! Blair is free but Meiko KICKS her to a corner! And again! The ref has Meiko back off but fans want that “One More Time!”
Blair kicks Meiko down but Meiko hits back with forearms! They brawl, Blair whips but Meiko reverse. Blair goes up but Meiko trips her up! Blair crashes down and fans fire up! A ring count starts but Meiko goes out to get Blair up. Meiko puts Blair in, clamps onto the arms and has a motorcycle stretch. Blair endures, even as Meiko pulls the arms back. Blair fights up but Meiko digs her boots in to proper her up. Meiko SLAMS Blair down and has the arm, but Blair kicks at her. Meiko sits Blair up to KICK her! And KICK her again! Blair sits up but Meiko KICKS her right in the chest! And again! And again! But Blair blocks!
Blair CLUBS the leg, but Meiko uppercuts back! Blair ducks the buzzsaw, but Meiko spins through to BUZZSAW! Cover, TWO! Blair scrambles out of the ring but fans sing for Meiko. Meiko goes out after Blair but Blair GAMANGIRIS from the apron! Blair doesn’t go in the ring, she drags Meiko out to the apron! DRAPING DDT to the floor! Blair is feeling like the Viper as she puts Meiko back in! Cover, TWO! Meiko is still in this but Blair tries another cover, TWO! Blair is fuming, she kicks at Meiko, stomps her down, but fans rally and duel. Blair KNEES then stomps Meiko to ropes, but Meiko crawls around.
Blair runs side to side to dropkick Meiko back to the apron! Blair drags her back in, covers, TWO! Fans fire up but Blair drags Meiko into a chinlock. Blair digs her knee in, Meiko endures, and fans rally as Meiko bridges up. Meiko powers out of the chinlock but Blair clamps it back on! Fans rally more, Meiko bridges again, but Blair just digs in deeper. Blair thrashes Meiko, Meiko fights up and throws elbows. Blair knees low, whips Meiko to ropes, but Meiko WHEEL KICKS her down! Fans rally while both women are down. Meiko gets up, Blair SLAPS her! Meiko SLAPS back! Blair snarls and she SLAPS back!
Meiko roars and she SLAPS Blair! Blair sobats, headlocks, but Meiko SAIDOS! Meiko drags Blair by a leg, KICKS the leg, turns Blair over, and drops down! Blair fights the STF, slips around, and she has a FUJIWARA! Meiko endures as Blair pushes way back! Meiko rolls, Blair KICKS her in the side. Blair reels Meiko in, suplexes but Meiko fights it! Blair keeps trying, but Meiko makes it a DDT! Meiko runs, HANDSPRING KICK! Fans want that “One More Time!” but Meiko waits for Blair to sit up. Meiko KICKS Blair down, covers, TWO! Meiko drags Blair up but Blair ROCKS her with a forearm! PELE, but Blair catches it! And she steals the STF!!
Meiko endures the hold as Blair keeps on the crossface. Meiko’s legs are free, Blair pulls her back in a stretch, but Meiko fights free! Blair CLUBS Meiko down from the rear mount, then she kicks Meiko around. Meiko crawls to ropes but Blair throws her around, Blair runs to B-TRIGGER! Meiko flops out of the ring, but Blair waits for her to get back in. Blair goes up and up to DOUBLE STOMP Meiko’s back! Blair then kicks Meiko into the ring, covers, TWO!! Meiko survives and Blair is furious! Blair drags Meiko up by her arms, but Meiko turns it into a wrench and fireman’s carry! DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!
Meiko gets Blair back up, fireman’s carries again, and another DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Blair survives and fans can’t believe it! Meiko aims from the corner, she runs in, SCORPIO- NO! Blair shoves Meiko down! B-TRIGGER!! Cover, TWO!?! Blair is raging and she drags Meiko back up! She reels Meiko in, suplexes, but Meiko fights it again! Meiko ROCKS Blair, brings her around, fireman’s carry for- Sunset flip! TWO, Meiko sits on the cover, Meiko wins!!
Winner: Meiko Satomura, by pinfall (still NXT UK Women’s Champion)
Blair came the closest of anyone, but she still couldn’t- Wait, she attacks Meiko from behind!! Sore loser Davenport gets Meiko’s arms! UTLIMATE B-TRIGGER! But then ANOTHER! And ANOTHER!! Blair holds up the belt but it isn’t hers to take! Will Blair look to take this title from Meiko by any means necessary?
A great episode to start the year for NXT UK. Symbiosis VS Smith & Carter was a great tag match, and Smith & Carter winning here is great stuff. I don’t know about hottest team under the sun, but they are a great team and deserve this much. And plus, I’m thinking we get them against Die Familie in the finals. Die Familie had a decent promo, as did Starz & Mastiff, but I think we’re going to get a standard Face VS Heel dynamic in the finals, and then the Heels win since Moustache Mountain is a Face team. Pretty Deadly had a good promo to bring up how they’re not getting an automatic rematch, and Gradwell had a good part as well. Maybe Gradwell gets a tag partner to take Pretty Deadly on for a pretty good match.
Dar and Sha had a good promo, I like that Sha’s added this bookie thing to do the odds as part of his promos, and I like that Dar was masking his stress. A-Kid has a good promo in response, though I feel like they edited his box jump together. Foreshadowing that Sha and Dar are going to cheat to make Dar VS A-Kid end in round four perhaps means it won’t happen that way at all. Now, I don’t necessarily see A-Kid winning that cup back to become a two-time Heritage Cup Champion already, but he is going to come really close. I feel like the most dramatic way to do it is if this goes to a 1-0 time limit draw at the end of round six, so that Dar survives rather than wins.
Dargunov had a great vignette promo to give his response to Devlin and hype up their title match. Walter having a “last stand” on NXT UK is a great way of having him move over to NXT 2.0/prime full time, and Frazer is going to have an awesome match with him, regardless of who wins. Amale’s Face turn continues as Jinny and Stevie get on her nerves, and Amale is definitely going to beat Stevie but she’ll go back and forth with Jinny. Xia had a good match with Myla, really playing up that Heel persona of hers, and naturally Xia wins to get back up. Maybe Xia faces past opponents again now that she’s fully Heel to give them each a chance to react to this new attitude of hers.
And then we got a great main event for the NXT UK Women’s Championship. Blair didn’t have that many matches before this point but she’s more than talented enough, and Meiko winning by a quick cover was a great way to keep Blair strong in defeat. Blair also being a sore loser, this keeps things going so that we could get a more intense rematch. That match might be where Blair wins and takes this title.
My Score: 8.5/10
NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.187 ~ 29TH SEPTEMBER 2022
Keiji Mutoh continues his Retirement tour and bringing out faces from the past! NOAH has a new champion! Interesting inter-promotional battles on the horizon as well!
Kaito Kiyomiya is the new GHC Heavyweight Champion, nominates Kazuyuki Fujita as challenger
Following provocation by Kenoh not only saying that he was going to be the one to inherit Keiji Mutoh’s Shining Wizard and the memory of Keiji Mutoh himself (and the outright claim that Kiyomiya would simply forget about Mutoh once Mutoh had retired, which Kiyomiya didn’t even bother responding to), Kenoh went one step further at their last pre match on the 19th September by pulling Keiji Mutoh’s pose, kissing his hand, putting it to Kiyomiya’s lips and then exploding it. Kiyomiya erupted in fury at this, it was far more than any verbal provocation of Kenoh’s, which I guess he has learned to ignore over the years. They fought for the GHC Heavyweight in Nagoya on September 25th, with Kiyomiya emerging victorious following a modified Shining Wizard. As Kenoh left it was like a spell was broken. Kenoh went backstage and muttered about Kiyomiya being the company favorite and in his interview the day after winning the title, Kiyomiya said nothing about Keiji Mutoh. Mutoh as we know had been a focus of both Kiyomiya and Kenoh leading up to the title match.
Back in the ring, Kiyomiya called out his next opponent. Kazuyuki Fujita. Fujita came to the ring, carrying a can of beer which he swigged from. Getting in the ring he circled Kiyomiya and took off his t-shirt. Kiyomiya said that he was expecting a fight, but Fujita did something that no other NOAH wrestler had (or perhaps would) do, and that was to throw himself at Kiyomiya and then make nuzzling motions against his head, while he licked the belt. Kiyomiya pushed him off, and Fujita retaliated by pouring beer over his head.
Kiyomiya screaming that he hated beer was met with Fujita toasting him from the ramp and yelling “Kampaiii” (“cheers”) after a fight had broken out, and Kiyomiya threw him from the ring.
Backstage, Kiyomiya said his reason for nominating Kazuyuki Fujita as his challenger was that he had never been defeated for the GHC Heavyweight. Fujita had to give up the belt due to Coronavirus. It has been a recurring theme of most of the GHC Heavyweight champions since Go Shiozaki, that Fujita has been the man to beat in order to cement yourself as champion. Kiyomiya was picking up that torch.
As for Fujita, he played it as if he was a Casanova and had been asked out on a date by warning Kiyomiya that when you experience Fujita, you can never go back because you were never going to be the same. He was going to “make it a night to remember”. He sipped his beer, and licked his lips afterwards.
Title match has been set for NOAH’s return to Ariake on the 30th October.
STINGER lose, NOAH Junior Regulars win, enter Tadasuke (with a chair)
Following a period of brutal attacks on Seiki Yoshioka (by the end of the match he could hardly use one side of his body) and a title challenge where Atsushi Kotoge was bloodied up, The NOAH Junior Regulars emerged victorious and bought the tag titles home to their unit. They had very little time to celebrate their win and put ice on their wounds, when Tadasuke burst in and attacked Atsushi Kotoge with a chair while Hi69 beat up on the already incapacitated Seiki Yoshioka. Tadasuke (wild grin on his face) got on the microphone and made a challenge for the tag titles. Then Tadasuke wiped the blood from Kotoge that had got on his hands on his hair, leaving red streaks in the peroxide. Tadasuke was even waving the bloodied seat of the chair, which had detached during the attack, around backstage.
Title match will be on the 30th October when NOAH return to the Ariake complex.
Takashi Sugiura and Satoshi Kojima, NOAH’s most dysfunctional tag team, win the GHC Heavyweight tag titles
It must be said that with the combined efforts of Satoshi Kojima and Hideki Suzuki, we almost have our Sugi back.
At the press conference/title match signing, Sugi and Kojima appeared dressed in suits and wearing dark glasses. They looked something between The Men In Black and “Dangerous Detectives” (as Tokyo Sports called them which stems from a Japanese TV show). Hideki Suzuki was on form, not only mistranslating Timothy Thatcher and stating at one point that Thatcher said he came to Japan to “beat you up” and being rude to a journalist for being overfamiliar with his “punk mouth”, the highlight of the press conference was his long close up stare at Sugi, who was trying not to laugh.
The dysfunctional team won the titles in Nagoya on the 25th September, and despite their falling out during the match, Sugi actually gave Kojima a proper handshake. Then they went back to squabbling backstage over Kojima talking on the mic when it was Sugi who got the win. No challengers have come forward as of yet.
HAYATA retains the GHC Junior, Ninja Mack makes his long awaited challenge
It had been an emotional match for YO-HEY, and for fans. Cutting out the aerial techniques that had characterized their earlier matches, both he and HAYATA demonstrated how much they had both evolved by concentrating on a more NOAH based ground attack with submissions. YO-HEY might have failed in the challenge, but he had at least gotten one win over HAYATA in the pre-match. He knew the title match would be different and he would need to level up, and afterwards he reflected and said he would start from rock bottom in order to make his next challenge. What fans had noticed that while things had changed between them, some things were the same, such as YO-HEY coloring his hair, his tongue (and even his boxer shorts) purple, which is HAYATA’s color, and HAYATA not speaking as much as he has done in previous title challenges, as he is content to let YO-HEY talk. After the match, Ninja Mack came to challenge. HAYATA accepted by saying, that he was “finally interested in the belt” and acknowledging him as challenger. Title match will of course be on the 30th October. But HAYATA is not immediately going into a fallout match with Ninja Mack at NOAH’s next event on the 30th, but is having a tag match against YO-HEY.
Keiji Mutoh’s Retirement Road
Keiji Mutoh has been very busy.
– 23rd September: Great Muta appears in AEW
The Great Muta made a surprise appearance in AEW to rescue Sting, who had been tied to a chair by Darby Allen. Muta came to the ring, advanced on Sting and then turned and spat green mist into the face of Allen and then reunited with Sting. Keiji Mutoh announced that Sting would attend Muta’s retirement on the 22nd in Yokohama, but has not said in what capacity, although it is assumed that they will tag. Regarding any further appearances in America, Mutoh said he didn’t think it was likely, but did warn that The Great Muta may pop up somewhere as you never knew where he would turn up next.
– 25th September: Keiji Mutoh Retirement Road: Love Forever 2
Keiji Mutoh teamed with his junior Kazuyuki Fujita to take on Mutoh’s classmate, Masakatsu Funaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima, who Mutoh has known since he was a boy, and still calls affectionately “Katsuhiko”. Nakajima said he was going to break up this class reunion, and while Mutoh did get kicked (Nakajima smirked and said it was fun when Mutoh later complained his leg still hurt) but it was Fujita who got the worst of it. During the match, Nakajima pulled out Mutoh’s Space Rolling Elbow. Mutoh was initially not pleased, but then he became very happy to see it and said that he thought that “Katsuhiko” did it because he had some small measure of feeling for him. I think had Nakajima been a more acrobatic wrestler, Mutoh might have handed it to him. Mutoh won the match with The Shining Wizard, pinning Nakajima. This was Mutoh’s farewell to Nagoya, his classmate, his junior and Nakajima.
– 26th September: Hiroshi Tanahashi comes to the press conference and a tag match is announced
Hiroshi Tanahashi presented 38 roses to Mutoh when he came to the press conference. Each rose symbolizes a year of Mutoh’s career. Mutoh joked that he should have laid them at his feet, as had happened in boxing recently. Tanahashi said he wasn’t good at ad-libbing, and then introduced himself as “one of the greatest New Japan talents in the past one hundred years”. During the press conference, a tag match was announced. New Japan’s Hiroshi Tanahashi, Togi Makabe and Honma Tomoaki will team together against the team of Naomichi Marufuji, Keiji Mutoh and Keiji Mutoh. This will take place on the 30th October. Mutoh has not given up hope of appearing one final time in the New Japan ring.
– 16th October: A new match is announced
NOAH announced that due to fan demand, Keiji Mutoh will be appearing in Fukuoka. He will tag with Ninja Mack and Satoshi Kojima against Naomichi Marufuji, HAYATA and Jack Morris. Satoshi Kojima is of course connected to Mutoh through All Japan and New Japan, Naomichi Marufuji has wanted a match against Mutoh (he will be tagging with him as we know on the 30th October) and HAYATA has been a big fan of Mutoh for a while, as he has influenced a lot of his style and persona. HAYATA thinks of himself and The Great Muta as “The Phantom Team”. Muta doesn’t like to speak and HAYATA said, neither does he.
Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima head overseas
Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima will appear for Evolution Pro Wrestling in New York for their anniversary show on November 12th. Marufuji’s match is yet to be announced, but Nakajima will take on Josh Alexander. Alexander has said he wonders how Nakajima is going to kick after he snaps his ankle. They will also appear at King of Indies in San Francisco on November 19th.
NOSAWA vs Katsuhiko Nakajima (and Kenoh)
After being beaten up by Katsuhiko Nakajima who gave him some pretty stiff soccerball kicks outside the ring at Korakuen Hall recently, (although he would tell you that Nakajima tried to beat him up), NOSAWA Rongai has been on a quest to face Nakajima in a match. Then he threw in Kenoh, so it could be himself and Eita versus Kongoh. Hideki Suzuki told him that he was probably going to die, but NOSAWA has taken no notice and kept on with his demand. His demand has not been met because rather than facing Nakajima and Kenoh, NOAH have booked him against rookies Yasutaka Yano and Kai Fujimura. NOSAWA thinks he is having to go through some kind of trial.
ELSEWHERE IN NOAH
– Hideki Suzuki has hinted that perhaps Takashi Sugiura might like to get back online.
– Yoshiki Inamura and YO-HEY continued their guild, despite the fact that YO-HEY said someone attacked and burned their castle down. A picture was taken of YO-HEY and Inamura playing the game, with YO-HEY seated cross legged on Inamura, who was doing a bridge in the ring. We have seen Inamura used as a weight, but is he now used as furniture?
– NOAH’s Director, Narihiro Takeda, wrote on a NOAH Note that he would like for Darby Allin to come to NOAH one day.
– Tadasuke got a match thrown out by ripping off Alejandro’s mask. Tadasuke did not care, and did not even respond when Alejandro asked if he wanted a mask for himself?
– Daiki Inaba had his long awaited singles match with Katsuhiko Nakajima, but failed to revenge himself for Nakajima’s behavior in W-1. Nakajima even went for the cocky pin by grinning and leaning on Inaba.
– There was usual chaos at the NOAH Junior Space sessions as Daisuke Harada is not there to take control. Atsushi Kotoge seems to be the main culprit, forgetting to invite Seiki Yoshioka in and at one time even failing to press record.
– It’s probably best that Daiki Inaba, who apparently likes to be in the nip backstage, was not present when NOAH was at Differ. It was bad enough that Sugi used to wander around naked…
– Mitsuharu Misawa wrote in a diary entry for 2006 about filming an advert for THE LEAVE, and having to sing first thing in the morning while they were filming. Probably due to the fact that he had a problem with his throat anyway, was a heavy smoker and had taken “so many chops and kicks” to it in his career, he said he sounded very hoarse.
EVENT RECAPS AND POST MATCH PROMOS
SUNNY VOYAGE – September 19th
N-INNOVATION – September 21st
GRAND SHIP 2022 IN NAGOYA/KEIJI MUTOH RETIREMENT ROAD – September 25th
- GHC Heavyweight Champion: Kaito Kiyomiya
Challenger: Kazuyuki Fujita, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
- GHC Junior Champion: HAYATA
Challenger: Ninja Mack, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
- GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: KojiSugi (Satoshi Kojima & Takashi Sugiura)
- GHC Junior Tag Champions: The NOAH Junior Regulars (Atsushi Kotoge & Seiki Yoshioka)
Challengers: Kongoh Juniors (Tadasuke & Hi69), [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
- GHC National Champion: Masakatsu Funaki
Challenger: Masa Kitamiya, SUNNY VOYAGE 2022 – Friday September 30th (Bandaijima Multi-Purpose Square Ogama)
(This event will not be broadcast live, but hopefully this match will be shown via Instagram)
THIS WEEK IN NOAH
– Friday, October 7th
STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo
Time: 18:30 JST
Broadcast: WrestleUniverse/ABEMA (live)
– Saturday, October 8th
STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo
Time: 18:30 JST
Broadcast: WrestleUniverse (live)
Note about broadcasts
Unless you are living in Japan or have a VPN you know is compatible with ABEMA, please do not subscribe to the service. For fans living outside of Japan, a subscription to WrestleUniverse would be better as they show more NOAH shows than ABEMA, and usually the events get uploaded very quickly. ABEMA broadcasts are only in Japanese, you can only watch them live, and this is the only NOAH they show. They do not broadcast old shows as these belong to Samurai TV.
BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES
Wednesday, 5th October: Keiji Mutoh debut anniversary (38)
Wednesday, 5th October: Seiki Yoshioka debut anniversary (14)
“Taka & Satoshi” reveal a “dangerous detective” look, mischievous Suzuki is a reckless interpreter, the GHC tag signing ceremony is thrown into chaos by bizarre question and answer between the two teams
With thanks to: Metal NOAH
GIF taken from WrestleUniverse & NOAH Official YouTube
Picture credit: YO-HEY & NOAH.co.jp
Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 9.29.2022
Bound for Glory is 8 days away, but Victory Road just happened. What kind of show do we get with some fallout and penultimate hype?
Victory Road just happened, but Bound for Glory is like 8 nights away? You know I forgot that it was such a quick turn around. That makes tonight weird, since there’s some fallout, but then there’s gonna be a lot of table setting for Bound for Glory.
This episode could be awful. The last week or so haven’t exactly set the world afire, so I’m curious if the highlight really is just gonna be the Monster’s Ball with Masha and Allie Katch.
*insert joke about possibly gagging and balls and Swinger’s Dungeon*
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) September 30, 2022
- Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid: Bullet Club win via Finesse & Fold – **
- IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve: Myers retains via Roster Cut – ** 1/2
- Delirious vs Black Taurus: Black Taurus wins via Destination Hellhole – ** 1/4
- PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath: Rich wins via Phoenix Splash – ** 1/4
- Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – *** 1/2
Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid
I don’t think I could care less about this match if I tried. Trey and Laredo are worthless. Laredo has eaten so many terrible losses and Trey is just bad. If the BC Juniors don’t win…I will really question the booking.
My biggest takeaway early is the commentary tries to put over Trey “turning heads”. No he doesn’t, he is legitimately hard to watch and everything that Will Ospreay did wrong in his early career; is basically Trey, but with less personality. Oh did you expect play by play? They isolate Laredo, decent tandem attacks, when Trey comes in it’s bad offense typical Cruiser garbage with laughable facials and body language.
Just typical crap with Trey. Were there some cool high spots? Sure. Do I care? NOPE.
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) September 30, 2022
IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve
Steve starts with some of his quirky mat wrestling, Arm Wringers into Drop Toe Holds and face biting. It shocked Myers early, but he takes a small shortcut and starts trying to slow down the psycho from Decay. Steve bounces off the ropes and Myers does his sliding trip move before commercial.
Back from commercial, Snapmare from Steve and the neck twister into some corner offense of Hip Attacks and Sentons for 2. Myers dodges King Kill 33, lands a few pot shots, Implant DDT for 2. Into the corner, face bite, Upside Down, after the rope break Myers grabs the referee to block Steve. Eye Poke, Roster Cut, AND STILL…
Simple, but entertaining. Plus it continues Myers’ arrogant, full of himself for absolutely no reason persona. Oh and he offers up an Open Challenge for Bound for Glory. Maybe Bobby Fish? Someone new? Could be interesting.
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) September 30, 2022
Delirious vs Black Taurus
Delirious is between gibberish and Stone Cold early on while they’re just trading shots. Delirious twists the Nose Ring…in the mask…and Taurus sells it momentarily before stomping the foot and decking him. This is just a weird match. I mean we all know Delirious is weird, but he’s not all comedy; and Taurus is supposed to be legit-ish.
Admittedly, with the exception of Victory Road, it has been years since I’ve watched a Delirious match. So the level of ridiculousness has hit Toru Yano levels, especially after the 10 count Leg Drops. Taurus powders, comes back in, Shoulder Tackle, Blackhole Backbreaker into a Samoan Drop. As soon as Taurus looks in charge, Delirious throws together a combo, eats a Headbutt and then Destination Hellhole.
Sheesh okay after 2 interview segments we get to Honor No More’s victory celebration segment. Just a lot of talking and inaction, so this just goes to feed that weird feeling I had coming into the show because of the timing. Eddie does the usual thing where hates on PCO and accuses him of being the weak link, which is a smart story angle since the fans tend to like PCO’s gimmick and this makes him more sympathetic to casual observers.
Oh good Taven is talking now. Wait did I just say that? DAMN YOU IMPACT! Made me like Matt Taven. Maria stirs the pot a little saying that Eddie is a better wrestler than Josh and Moose…by the implications.
Thank God, Josh Alexander finally breaks up the segment with…more talking. Okay never mind. Jesus since the end of the Delirious match it was like 15 minutes before Josh finally charged the ring and threw down a bit with Honor No More. Rich Swann and Heath make a bit of the babyface save for Josh, but the numbers are still on Honor No More’s side. Oh MCMG come down in a tracksuit and dress clothes! Someone wasn’t ready to be doing a run in.
PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath
Well isn’t that convenient that four of the men in the donnybrook were supposed to be in a match anyway.
Rich uses his quickness to try and stay ahead of PCO, but PCO cuts him off in the corner into the Corner Hung Codebreaker, then the leaned against the ropes Leg Drop thing. Vincent throws together a T-Bone Suplex into a Flatliner and keeps the vibes flowing on Rich Swann.
PCO clears out Heath, but PCO’s hand gets stuck in the ropes. Vincent eats a flip kick and the Phoenix Splash while PCO and Heath are brawling on the outside after the rope issue with PCO.
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) September 30, 2022
Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch
Haymakers and Headbutts start things off as they both hit the ropes and lay out one another with dual clotheslines. Trash can lid duel, Masha gets first contact, but Allie blocks and returns 3 shots. German Suplex from Masha into whipping her with a chain, some choking and then general pulling with the chain in Katch’s mouth or around her eyes. Katch claws at Masha’s eyes to try and get some space.
Headbutts and Biting from Masha as Allie tries to power out of a Bow and Arrow. More chain choking…I’m not sure if this is a wrestling match or BDSM prep at the moment. Ahh Masha needs more Cowbell but Allie cuts her off with a trash can lid. Allie tries a Piledriver through a door, but Masha turns it into an Air Raid Crash into the opposite corner.
Commercial break, and Allie is getting choked again. Spots get a little redundant, slams, chokes, and blood. OHHH – it’s a “Use the Door” chant. I thought it was – nah – I won’t say what I thought it was. Chairshot from Masha misses, but a Snap Suplex from Masha onto the chair gets some usefulness. Straight Right to the gut and an Axe Kick allows Masha to hit the Death Valley Driver onto the propped up chair. Masha goes back to biting after it was only 2. Allie cuts off Masha going to the top, Superplex onto the trash can lid, into a Death Valley Driver through the door – but Masha kicks out.
Allie tries a Piledriver on the apron a few times, but Masha blocks. Masha tries for the Release German to the floor but Allie holds on. Dazed strikes, bites and then a Russian Leg Sweep through the table lays both out for a short time. Masha grabs a black bag, it’s gotta be tacks for Monster’s Ball. Masha eats a few tacks for good show, picks up Allie but Allie fights. Piledriver into the tacks from Allie, only 2. Allie opens a trash can, and empties a bunch of cut up soda cans. Hits Masha with the can, Masha fires, Spinning Heel Kick and then Russian Death Device into the pile of tacks and cans.
Overall Score: 6.25/10
The main event was pretty good, maybe even a little better than I gave it credit for; I’m just sick of seeing some crazy hardcore match so often from Impact. It feels like its weekly, and that’s too damn much. Trey is terrible, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. He sells poorly, he doesn’t tell a story with his wrestling and he looks like an idiot pretending to be something he isn’t; and that’s talented.
Myers is fine with his classic delusional heel style, Delirious gave a bit of a rub to Taurus so I’m guessing he’s probably next up in the X Division. But a straight 15 minutes of interviews and talking is just too damn much especially when the surrounding wrestling isn’t very good or hearty enough to help people tolerate talking time.
I do however love Joe Hendry. So…yeah. There’s always some quirky gimmicks that just resonate well with me, and this is gorgeous.
All in all, decent enough; though next week could be a real banger of a Go Home.
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