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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/10/22)

Will this Raw be for the Academy?

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WWE Raw 2022

Raw has more golden opportunities in store!

The Alpha Academy is coming for RKBRO’s Raw Tag Team Championships, and a Triple Threat determines Becky Lynch’s Royal Rumble challenger!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Raw Tag Team Championships: RKBRO VS The Alpha Academy; The Alpha Academy wins and become the new Raw Tag Team Champions.
  • Six Man Tag: Damian Priest & The Street Profits VS The Dirty Dawgs & Apollo Crews w/ Commander Azeez; The Dirty Dawgs and Crews win.
  • Big E VS Seth Rollins; Rollins wins.
  • Omos VS Nick Sanders; Omos wins.
  • AJ Styles VS Austin Theory; Styles wins, by disqualification.
  • Raw Women’s Championship Triple Threat: Liv Morgan VS Bianca Belair VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven; Niven wins and will challenge Becky Lynch for the title at the Royal Rumble.

PLAY BY PLAY

Brock Lesnar is here!

Philly just became Suplex City as The Beast and Paul Heyman walk out on stage. Lesnar lets Heyman hold up the WWE World Championship as Lesnar cues the pyro. They then go to the ring, but we see the Hurt Business watching back. Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin are excited to see Lashley have the match. But Lashley says there is no Hurt Business, Lashley works alone. So they can get out of here. Alexander & Benjamin leave, but will this come back to bite the Rocky Mountain Machine? Back to the ring, Heyman has the mic to  give the introductions. And as the Advocate, Heyman has the honor of introducing us to the reigning, defending, undisputed, WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World, BRRROCK! LENSARRR!

Lesnar’s fired up just hearing that! “Phila-freakin-delphia! I can’t believe we’re back!” But before Lesnar can say more, the All Mighty interrupts! No more just watching, Lashley and MVP stand on stage, then head to the ring. MVP gives an introduction of his own as it is his honor to present the All Mighty Lashley! Lashley takes off the sunglasses to look Lesnar in the eye. Lashley says it is an honor to finally stand in the ring with Lesnar. And it is an honor to be able to share the spotlight with him. “And as one super athlete to another super athlete, it’s an honor to be able to look you right in the eye. And with all due respect, tell you that for twenty years, you have been ducking and running from me!”

With all due respect, Lesnar says it is an honor to be in the ring with himself. And Lesnar apologizes, but for the last twenty years, he’s been winning titles in this ring, and in other rings. So that doesn’t fall on Lashley, that falls on him. Lesnar had no clue who Lashley was until Day 1. It is on Lashley that he didn’t enter the same arenas Lesnar did. Because if Lesnar had already met Lashley, Lesnar would’ve already beaten him and we wouldn’t be in this spot right now. Also, these guys are dressed really fancy! What’s the thread count on MVP’s suit?

Oh, Lesnar’s a comedian, huh? Well at the Royal Rumble, when Lashley wins that title, he and NMVP will be in the front row for Lesnar’s first show. As a comedian, Lesnar’s funny. Yeah, he’s funny and he’s money. Paulie, knock knock! Wow, Lesnar doing a knock knock joke in Philly. Just when you think you’ve seen it all. Alright, then. Who’s there? Bobby. Bobby who? Exactly. Lashley fakes a laugh, but not for long. Lesnar tells Lashley that it is impossible to beat Lesnar. It is even more impossible to beat Lesnar when you’re a Lesnar wannabe! Lesnar drops the mic, but we all know this is far from over! Will Lashley prove to Lesnar exactly who he is at the Rumble?

But then Benjamin and Alexander attack! Lashley fights them off all on his own! He clotheslines Benjamin out, then gives Alexander a MILE HIGH SPINEBUSTER! Lashley throws off his jacket, goes out after Benjamin, and POSTS him! Then he gets Alexander up to THROW him into barriers! Lashley then drags Alexander up to POST him, too! And all that in a turtleneck! If this wasn’t a display of power to make Lesnar worry, what can Lashley do to make the Beast fear the All Mighty?

 

Riddle recites a mantra.

“Summon your inner viper. Summon your inner viper.” Randy Orton snaps him out of it. Riddle says he is trying to transcend to a higher plane of enlightenment. Well, whatever he does on his own time is up to him. But there’s no free time. They lost to the Alpha Academy because Riddle didn’t tag Orton in. But now, they have a second chance, only with higher stakes. They must defend the tag titles against an Olympian and a tree trunk. So if Riddle gets lost out there, Orton has a pen. Randy, this is no time for Pictionary, bro! No, Orton will give Riddle a quick little note on how to figure things out. Wow, he has good handwriting. Shut up. “Tag in Randy.” Got it? Good. Let’s go.

Wait… Orton is sure Riddle wants to say something, so say it. Riddle says after the win, they should go out for cheesesteaks. After all, they’re in Philly. But is Orton more a Pap’s or Gino’s kind of guy? Orton sighs, and says Gino’s. Sweet! Will these two stay golden to go get some sweet Philly cheesesteaks? Or will they be turned into ground beef by “Master” Gable and #4pointOtis?

Raw Tag Team Championships: RKBRO VS The Alpha Academy!

Raw returns and Gable & Otis have arrived in brand new singlets. The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if RKBRO pass or fail this rematch with the Academy!

Gable and Riddle start, circle, and Gable stays between Orton and Riddle. They tie up, Riddle waistlocks but Gable pries free to headlock, spin and toehold to then float to a facelock! Gable tries a lateral press, Riddle moves around, Gable gets around but Riddle switches for a mat slam! Grammy roll into the ropes, and the ref has them break. Gable and Riddle reset, tie up, and Gable wrenches to a wristlock. Snapmare, chinlock, and Gable grinds Riddle down. Riddle endures, rolls and has Gable’s arm for an omoplata! Gable gets the ropebreak and Riddle lets off fast. The two reset again, and fans rally up for Riddle.

Gable and Riddle tie up but Gable throat chops! “For the Academy!” Gable whips, Riddle goes up and over to ROUNDHOUSE Gable down! BROTON to Gable’s back! Gable bails out, Riddle goes to the apron, PENALTY KICK! And then springboard FLOATING BRO! Direct hit at the ramp and Riddle is all fired up! Riddle does his best Orton pose, so Orton joins in, and Philly fires up as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again, and Gable has Riddle in a cobra clutch. Riddle powers Gable into the corner, breaks free and then hits Otis! Gable ROCKS Riddle, chicken wings, but Riddle victory rolls! TWO, and Gable blocks a kick! DRAGON SCREW! Tag to Otis, and he RAMS Gable into Riddle! Gable feeds Riddle to Otis’ shoulder! Fans boo but Otis soaks it all up. Otis brings Riddle up to back suplex, but Riddle lands on his feet! Riddle elbows Gable, boots Otis, and goes up, FLOATING BRO ATTACK! Both men are down and fans are thunderous! Riddle hurries, Otis crawls, hot tags to Gable and Orton! The Viper rallies on Gable with clotheslines!

Otis pokes in, Orton KICKS him! Gable runs, into the POWERSLAM! Orton puts Gable through ropes, kicks Otis and hotshots him down, but Gable hotshots back! Gable goes up the corner, but Orton trips him! Orton climbs up to join Gable, goes to the very top now, for a SUPERPLEX! Fans fire up again while both men are down! Riddle and the fans rally for “RANDY! RANDY!” Orton feels that energy and he hears the voices! But Otis gets in! Riddle goes after him but Otis CLOBBERS Riddle! Gable denies the RKO, Orton hits Otis! Gable runs into Otis, but it’s a tag! Gable denies another RKO, Otis hits the POWERSLAM! The Academy wins!!!

Winners: The Alpha Academy, by pinfall (NEW Raw Tag Team Champions)

Gable & Otis prepared for the RKO, stopped the RKO, and now dethroned RKBRO! What is the next step for the Academy

 

Damian Priest speaks.

The Archer of Infamy debuted in the Rumble and made an immediate impact. So how does he upstage that? “By winning the whole damn thing.” The WWE US Champion is in the Royal Rumble! He’ll still be US Champion by then, but what other title will he be looking to take?

The Street Profits and Damian Priest meet up backstage.

They’re all going to be in the Rumble, every man for themselves. But tonight, they’re happy to have each other’s backs. They go back like four flats on the Cadillac. And they’re fired up to be in Philadelphia! Plus, what side are they dealing with? Damian, the guy they’ve gotta stay out of the way of? Or Priest, the good side, not they want to offend. But they will bring the Solo cups, is Priest gonna take in the partay? Absolutely hand him a cup! As far as sides, Ziggler, Roode & Apollo have a beating coming from both sides. And since they’re all here, it’s time for one final beat down. Go ahead and tell ’em why. Because the Profits are UP! And #WeWantTheSmoke!

 

Bianca Belair speaks.

“Last year, I proved exactly why I’m the greatEST, the strongEST, the toughEST, and I not only won the Royal Rumble, but I main evented WrestleMania and walked out SmackDown Women’s Champion. And Becky Lynch, your 26 seconds of fame are coming to an end.” Because last year, she walked out as champion, but this year, she’s walking into WrestleMania as Raw Women’s Champion. After she wins tonight’s Triple Threat, she’ll see Becky at the Royal Rumble, where Big Time gets beat by the EST.

 

Six Man Tag: Damian Priest & The Street Profits VS The Dirty Dawgs & Apollo Crews w/ Commander Azeez!

Raw returns as Priest joins the Profits in the ring. Ziggler, Roode and the Pride of Nigeria are already there, and the trios sort out. Apollo and Ford start, they tie up and Apollo gets around to CLUB and whip Ford to a corner. Ford goes up and over and shows off the agility before he dropkicks Apollo down! Cover, ONE! Ford wrenches, Apollo kicks low then tags in Ziggler. They mug Ford, Ziggler scrapes Ford’s face, then taunts Priest with a superkick. Ziggler throws hands but Ford blocks to ROCK Ziggler back! Ziggler kicks low, wants Ford to stand, and Ziggler runs in, but Priest saves Ford from the splash!

Priest tags in, DECKS Ziggler, and DECKS him again, then BELL CLAPS! Ziggler staggers up into a FLAPJACK! Roode gets in, but Priest fires off kicks and a haymaker, to a HEEL KICK! Apollo gets in but Priest DECKS him! Priest hits a back elbow on Roode, a back elbow on Ziggler, then he suplexes Ziggler, only for Roode to save him. Priest dodges Roode, Ford ENZIGURIS Roode down! Dawkins dropkicks Apollo out, but Ziggler ducks the heel kick! Ziggler shoves Priest but Priest CLOBBERS Ziggler on the return! Priest and the Profits are roaring as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Apollo has Ford in a chinlock. Ford fights up, throws elbows, but Apollo shoves him to the corner. Ford comes back but Apollo trophy lifts! Apollo DROPS Ford, then STANDING MOONSAULTS! Cover, TWO! Apollo drags Ford up, tags Ziggler, and they mug Ford. Ziggler rakes Ford’s eyes, then eggs him on before he dropkicks Ford down! Cover, TWO! Ziggler gets a leg for a cradle, TWO! Ziggler traps an arm and has the chinlock, but Ford endures. Ziggler claws Ford’s eyes! The ref counts, Ziggler lets off, and he stomps Ford down. Fans jeer but Ziggler SUPERKICKS Priest down! Ziggler then runs at Ford, but Ford powers up to POWERBOMB!

Both men are down, Ziggler keeps Ford from his corner while going to his, hot tags to Roode and Dawkins Dawkins rallies on Roode and Apollo, but Roode kicks low and whips. Dawkins hurdles to CLOBBER Roode! Apollo runs into an EXPLODER! Dawkins gets Ziggler for an EXPLODER! Dawkins runs to BULLDOG Roode! Fans fire up with Dawkins, he runs and CYCLONE SPLASHES in the corner! Then the SILENCER! Cover, Apollo breaks it! Apollo runs at Priest but into a ROUNDHOUSE! Priest goes out after Apollo, brings him around, but Azeez is there. Priest dares Azeez to do something but Apollo ENZIGURIS Priest down!

Ford FLIES to take Apollo and Azeez out! Roode rolls Dawkins up, TWO! Dawkins runs in but into an elbow! Ziggler tags, Dawkins gives Roode a SPINEBUSTER! ZIGZAG!! Cover, the Dawgs and Apollo win!

Winners: The Dirty Dawgs & Apollo Crews, by pinfall

Roode & Ziggler celebrate with Apollo as they get one over on the Profits & Priest! Will this lead them all to big opportunities on the Road to WrestleMania?

 

Seth Rollins is here!

The Visionary swaggers his way to the ring after being named #1 contender to the Universal Champion. He’ll surely talk about that and more, after the break.

Raw returns and Rollins has the mic. “I am in a great mood tonight, Philly~! And I’ll tell you why! It’s because the Royal Rumble is on the horizon! And you may be asking, ‘Seth, why? Why are you so excited for the Royal Rumble?  Is it because Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar, two nincompoops with the combined brain power of a teaspoon, are going to punch each other in the face until one of them falls over?'” Nope! Then is it the 30 men and 30 women throwing each other over the top rope for a chance to become immortal at WrestleMania? That’s good, but no. The truth is, Rollins is excited because it is the night where he will become the NEW Universal Champion!

Yes! At the Royal Rumble, it’ll be the Visionary VS the Tribal Chief! The revolutionary VS the Head of the Table! Brother VS Brother, Roman Reigns VS Seth Freakin’ Rollins! And you may be asking now, “How?” After Rollins got screwed out of a Day 1 singles match,  how did he get this Universal Championship match? Did he get an Advocate/ A special counsel? No. Rollins doesn’t need a Penguin looking snake oil salesman to do that for him. Rollins took matters into his own hands as Seth Freakin’ Rollins! There are few things in life that are certain: death; taxes; and Seth Rollins beats Roman Reigns!

But here comes Big E! “This is incredible news! I am so excited, I am so thrilled for you. In fact, sir, I am as excited as Gritty after a big Flyers win!” Rollins likes the sound of that! But first, what the hell is a Gritty? He simply doesn’t know. But forget that question. Why is Big E so excited for Rollins? Well of all the world title combatants, Rollins is Big E’s favorite! Big E put a whole “psalm book” down on Rollins. For Big E has put his name in the Royal Rumble match! Of all the things Big E could dream about and fantasize about, close to the very top is doing what Big E intended to do at Day 1, but at the Show of Shows, WRESTLEMANIA~! And what’s that?

That, dear Rollins, is for Big E to beat Rollins and walk out as champion. Rollins laughs and says Big E can dream and all. Rollins could put a psalm book on Big E, too. But it doesn’t matter if it’s Day 1, Day 400, Day 3000, WrestleMania Day, Big E doesn’t stand a chance. Interesting. Because Big E was just thinking they could test that out here tonight. Well, uh, Rollins isn’t so sure. Fans boo but Rollins says he’s just not ready. Maybe next week, in a better town, like in the Midwest. Big E says that is a shame. But let’s not just do it tonight. Let’s do it… right now! Rollins says Big E is putting him on the spot! He wants Big E VS Rollins here and now? YOU’RE ON!

Rollins and Big E throw off their jackets, the ref gets in the ring, it’s happening!

Big E VS Seth Rollins!

The two circle, tie up, and Big E headlocks. Rollins powers up and out, things speed up, Rollins dropkicks! Big E stays up, things keep moving, Big E hurdles and he catches Rollins for a Belly2Belly! Big E just keeps moving, but Rollins gets up to BOOT him! Big E comes back, Rollins sends him out and then DIVES! Direct hit and down goes Big E! Rollins hurries back in, he runs and Big E CLOBBERS him! Big E drags Rollins out of the ring, puts him on the apron by hard came, and fans fire up as they get a good look at the APRON SPLASH!! Big E is all fired up as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Big E SMACKS Rollins off the desk! Big E puts Rollins back in the ring, drags him up, and whips him to ropes. Rollins kicks back, CHOPS, then CHOPS again. Big E swings, but Rollins gets around to a waistlock. Big E pries free, back drops Rollins, then whips him into the corner! Rollins tumbles up, back down, and then into another whip. Rollins goes up but gets caught! He slips out to CHOP BLOCK, then basement DDT! Fans rally as Big E bails out but Rollins aims from the apron. Rollins leaps, FLYING KNEE takes Big E down! Rollins puts Big E in, climbs up the corner and leaps, another FLYING KNEE! Cover, TWO!

Rollins is annoyed but he takes a deep breath. Rollins clubs Big E with crossface forearms, then clamps on a chinlock. Big E endures, fans rally again, and Rollins leans his weight on the hold. Big E gets a second wind, throws elbows, but Rollins CLUBS him and CHOPS him. Rollins storms in at the corner for a forearm smash! Rollins runs corner to corner, but into the Urenag-E! Big E powers up and he rallies with big clotheslines! He dodges Rollins but Rollins headbutts the Belly2Belly away! Rollins runs, but is dumped out to the apron! Big E runs to SPEARS Rollins off the apron! Both men are down, fans lose their minds, and Big E clutches his arm as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Rollins has Big E down with another chinlock. Big E fights up as fans rally, and Big E arm-drags free! Big E blocks the Slingblade and shoves Rollins, to then OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And another OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And then the SIDE Belly2Belly! Fans fire up, Big E swivels them hips and runs, BIG SPLASH! Big E claps it up and fans join in, “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” Big E scoops, Rollins slips out and baits Big E into a corner. Rollins runs in, but he counters the Urenag-E with an arm-drag! ROLLING ELBOW! Rollins tries but Big E blocks the suplex, to suplex Rollins!

Rollins slips out, waistlocks, but Big E bucks him away. Rollins ducks the punch to PELE! Roll up, TWO! SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO! Rollins goes to the corner, climbs up top, FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Big E survives but Rollins gets up. Big E sits up, Rollins aims from the corner. Rollins runs in, but Big E pops him up for a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO, to a STRETCH MUFFLER! Rollins endures, hammers Big E’s head, and gets the ropes! Big E yanks Rollins up, Rollins fights the back suplex with elbows! Rollins runs, ducks and dodges, into a SCRAPBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Big E is frustrated but he works to focus.

Fans rally up, “This is Awesome!” and Big E sees Rollins on the apron. Big E runs, but into a KNEE! No spear this time! Rollins goes up, Big E ROCKS him first! And again! Big E hops up, brings Rollins onto his shoulder, but Rollins fights free to throw down elbows! Rollins headbutts Big E away, adjusts, and leaps, but Big E gets under! Tilt-o-whirl scoop, Rollins slips out and kicks low! Rollins hooks the arms, Big E powers out, but Rollins BOOTS and ROLLING ELBOWS! DREAM SMASHER ELBOW! CURB STOMP!! Rollins pushes Big E over to the cover, Rollins wins!!

Winner: Seth Rollins, by pinfall

The Powerhouse of Positivity couldn’t withstand that last string of attacks, and the Visionary stands tall! Will Rollins find a way to do this to Roman Reigns come the Royal Rumble?

 

Nikki A.S.H. and Rhea Ripley head to the ring!

The former WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions are in Philly, and fans have great cardboard cutouts of them! Nikki and Rhea are going to be in the Women’s Rumble, what will they have to say about the known field of competitors after the break?

Raw returns and Sarah is in the ring with them to ask them about how their unexpected tag team has an announcement. Nikki and Rhea are officially challenging for a rematch for the tag titles! Uh, no, that’s not what they talked about. Well, then it doesn’t seem they’re on the same page. Many have wondered what was next for the team. Has this partnership run it’s course? Rhea wants to speak but Nikki cuts her off, saying what Rhea means to say is that of course it hasn’t. Actually… Rhea says they shouldn’t talk about this out here. No, they’re going to do it here and now. Nikki gets another mic so they can have a conversation.

Nikki wants to talk the future of the team. What is Rhea doing? Is she going to break them up? Rhea says they had a great run, it’s just time. But teaming together brought out the best in both of them. Yeah, but Rhea is ready- Is this about the tag titles? They’ll get them back! And then they’ll show everyone how great they still are! It’s not about the titles, Nikki. Then what is it…? Oh, okay. Does Rhea think she’s better just because Nikki got pinned? No, Rhea never said that. But she was thinking it! Did it ever occur to Rhea that Nikki did Rhea the favor by staying by her side? That’s what friends through! Even when one is better in the ring.

Rhea never said she was better in the ring. Nikki was talking about herself! What? But it’s so nice to know where Rhea’s head is at. Rhea doesn’t like where this is heading, so she’s leaving. So she’s just walking out on Nikki? Fine. No, but Nikki is making Rhea feel uncomfortable. So for now, let’s just say good-bye. Rhea offers a handshake, hoping to keep this amicable. Nikki says fine, if Rhea doesn’t want to be a teammate anymore, fine. But Nikki can’t shake Rhea’s hand until Rhea tells Nikki that she still believes in Nikki. Rhea has always believed in Nikki and always will. But it was that Nikki believed in herself. So with or without Rhea, Nikki needs to keep believing in herself.

Nikki gets a bit choked up, and Rhea isn’t sure what to do now. Nikki asks if Rhea means that. They can still be friends? Rhea and Nikki hug it out. Nikki and Rhea then fist bump, but Nikki CLOBBERS Rhea! Nikki rains down on Rhea with hammering fists and forearms! Nikki leaves, but is she still Almost a Super Hero? Or becoming Almost a Super Villain?

 

Dana Brooke and Reggie meet up.

Two of the best Philly cheesesteaks. Wait, something seems off. Reggie’s got like a Spidey Sense about the 24/7 Championship. R-Truth is wheeling up, and then the ref appears! Reggie was right! They throw the cheesesteaks at Truth and Akira Tozawa, but miss and hit Tamina! Tamina is furious, and she knocks the trash barrel over with Tozawa inside! Is Tamina’s rage going to rip into everyone until she gets that belt from Dana?

Omos walks the halls.

But Reggie bumps into him! Reggie apologizes, but Omos lifts him up! Dana demands Reggie put him down! Omos dares her to make him. Dana still shouts at Omos, and he drops Reggie. Omos tells them to watch what he does tonight, because then next week, he’ll do worse to Reggie!

 

“Doudrop” Piper Niven speaks.

“All last year, Bianca Belair and Liv Morgan cut in front of the line and wasted opportunity after opportunity. But this is a new year, and I’m going to show those two crybabies that their biggest mistake was overlooking me.” Bianca thinks Piper is a detour? The reality is, Bianca’s Piper’s detour on the way tot he title. Becky better not get too comfortable because Piper will see Becky. And then 2022 will be the year The Man gets Doudropped.

 

Omos VS Nick Sanders!

Raw returns and Omos already towers over his opponent, who is literally shaking in his boots. The ref explains the basic rules, Omos mocks the other guy’s height. The bell rings, Sanders runs but bounces off Omos! Omos stands on Sanders’ foot, then he clamps on a choke grip! DEADLIFT and TOSS! Omos runs in to SQUASH Sanders in the corner! Omos says this is far too easy. Omos hauls Sanders up again, pops him up to a fireman’s carry and a trophy lift for a COLOSSAL DROP! Reggie is watching backstage and is freaking out as Omos clamps onto Sanders again. Omos drags Sanders up by his head, then uses both hands for the COLOSSAL SLAM! Cover, Omos wins!

Winner: Omos, by pinfall

Sanders never stood a chance! Omos beat the Phenomenal AJ Styles, he crushed this kid here, will Reggie just be another victim?

 

Edge is here!

Philly is ready to get Rated R! The Cutting Edge returns, and the Glamazon with be the special guest, after the break.

Raw returns and Edge is in the ring with a mic. “Hello, Philly~! It is so good to be back in the city of fighters.” And his guest is the most intelligent, gorgeous, vivacious, curvacious guest he’s ever had. And in three weeks, he and his guest face Miz & Maryse in “The It Couple VS The Grit Couple,” so without further ado, welcome WWE Hall of Famer, Edge’s wife, the woman with thighs that could crack coconuts, BETH PHOENIX! Beth makes her way out and joins Edge in the ring. Now, they’re married, and are raising two spectacular little girls. But at Day 1, that was the first time the fans got to see them really interact. At the Royal Rumble, they’re going to do some damage!

Edge wants Beth to remind everyone how much ass she really kicked in this ring. If this was the 1970s, Beth would be on the Broad Street Bullies. She’d be shoulder to shoulder with Dave “The Hammer’ Shultz! And just like the Flyers collected cups, these two have collected 35 championships together! More than any other couple in history, including Miz & Maryse. They’re also the only couple in the WWE Hall of Fame. Plus, Beth is a wrecking machine! Enough of Edge flapping gums about it, roll footage.

The video package plays, with Trish Stratus saying Beth is strong, beautiful, Natalya says Beth inspired her. Bianca Belair knows Beth was doing groundbreaking things as a woman wrestler. She was never afraid to be who she is. Rhea was also inspired, as was Charlotte Flair. Edge is so proud of Beth! But the floor is hers. She’s amazed by that video, too. She isn’t sure if Edge is buttering her up for later tonight, but uh, flattery will get you everywhere. But down, boy, put a pin in that. Tonight, Beth talks business. That video was just a sampling of the platter Beth has set out for Maryse.

The entitlement, the bragging, and the verbal diarrhea from Miz just has to stop! At the Royal Rumble, Edge & Beth finally shut their mouths for good! But speaking of, here come Miz & Maryse to crash the show! Miz has a mic to say, “Hello, Filthy-delphia.” After looking at the crowd, Miz stands with Ben Simmons. He, too, would give up $33 MILLION just to not play here! Have they seen themselves?! And hello, Edge. Miz thought Edge would try to slander the It Couple and make fans believe they’ll beat “the holy hell” out of them. But at Day 1, Miz had Edge beat until Edge used his wife to win! What kind of man does that?! Fans shout, “YOU!”

Edge says that’s rich, Miz used Maryse to avoid a Spear. SLANDER! Edge does realize Maryse is the finest talent to ever put on boots. And Miz’s inside sources here say that Edge & Beth were preparing that highlight video, so Miz has one of his own to show how much BETTER Maryse is! Miz narrates it himself, though. She is the symbol of status and grace. Her stunning debut in the Diva’s Search to the ascent to the top, to finding love with Miz and becoming the WWE’s It Couple. Maryse has always been a beacon of beauty, a paragon of posh, and the embodiment of elegance. She and Miz will lay waste to Beth & Edge! Through the power of their love, Miz & Maryse are unbeatable!

Miz applauds, Philly boos. Miz asks if they realize how big of a star Maryse is? Do they understand how lucky they are to see her live and in person? How Edge & Beth should be honored to even be in the same ring as her?! Edge knows Maryse is a former champion and busted her but to prove everyone wrong, same as Miz. Edge respects them. They’re not taking away from her career. But Beth can deadlift a Buick. She can smash things, mostly people, and if Edge had to face her, he’d have the same look on his face as Maryse. And interesting timing. Suddenly, Maryse is so shy. She’s had no problem hitting Edge from behind when Beth wasn’t around.

But now that Beth is here, Maryse is like a little mouse. The time for apologies is long gone. At the Rumble, Beth is going to wreck Maryse, and every person in the arena will be chanting, “Auvoir.” Oh, really? Beth wants to speak Francais to them, then go ahead! Maryse, tell Beth how bad you’re gonna beat her! How Beth will wish she stayed retired! Tell- Wait, where is Maryse going? Beth tells Miz that before he high tails it outta here, one more thing: If Maryse is too afraid to show up, and if Edge doesn’t get to him first, Beth will take great pleasure in knocking Miz’s teeth in. Miz has no comeback, will there be nothing the It Couple can do to stop the Grit Couple?

 

Backstage interview with Austin Theory.

Kevin Patrick says Theory goes 1v1 with the Phenomenal AJ Styles tonight, with a big chance at major momentum going into the Royal Rumble. Theory says he also has a chance to impress Mr. McMahon. And Vince reminded Theory that Styles is one of the most decorated stars in the WWE. We can all say it, too: he’s a future first ballot Hall of Famer. But tonight, Theory beats Styles, and Vince will have no doubt but to continue to invest in Theory. Did Vince have any other words of encouragement? Yeah, that Theory shouldn’t screw this up.

AJ Styles VS Austin Theory!

If it isn’t one young upstart, it’s another! Omos physically dominated Styles, NXT’s Grayson Waller is trying to play mind games, will Vince’s new pet project look to take advantage of all this and get the most phenomenal win of his career? Or can Styles start a comeback that’s even more amazing?

The bell rings and Styles ties up with Theory, Theory mule kicks, throws hands, but Styles puts him in the corner to CHOP and CHOP. Styles whips, Theory goes up but Styles stays back to scoop and BACKBREAKER! Styles brings Theory up but Theory ROCKS Styles, puts him in a corner and hits a clothesline! Theory goes to the apron, he shoves Styles down and slingshots to STOMP, then deadlift suplexes! Cover, TWO! Theory clamps on a rear bearhug but Styles fights up. Styles fights free with elbows but Theory knees low. Theory whips, Styles dropkicks him out of the ring! Styles slingshots, Theory gets in but Styles slips under.

Theory throws Styles back out, then somersault DROPKICKS Styles off the apron! Theory says he’s the Phenomenal One now, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Styles CHOPS Theory to a corner, then CHOPS him more. Styles whips corner to corner, Theory reverses but Styles BOOTS back. Styles runs but into a kick! Theory suplexes, Styles slips out and fires off the Phenomenal Blitz! Theory is down, Styles runs for basement forearm! Styles suplexes Theory, lets him land on his feet for a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Styles drags Theory back up, CLUBS him down, and reels him in. But Theory slips out, Styles ducks the haymaker but not the back elbow! AOI SHODOU from Theory! Cover, TWO!! Styles survives and Theory grits his teeth.

Fans rally, but Theory looms over Styles and brings him up. Fireman’s carry, but Styles gest to the apron! Styles ROCKS Theory, takes aim and fans fire up! Springboard, but Waller is here?! Waller trips Styles up to CLOBBER him!

Winner: AJ Styles, by disqualification

Waller stomps Styles, Theory gets his phone, an Theory makes his introductions before taking the victory selfie. Waller then gets Styles up, but Styles hits back! He bounces Waller off apron, off desk, and then puts him in the ring! Waller runs for it, but he has less than 24 hours left! Will Styles make the 21st Century Success Story regret ever calling him out?

Kevin Patrick interviews Grayson Waller.

Would he like to comment on the underhanded tactics he just used to get the upper hand? Underhanded? Nothing was underhanded there. Waller just gave Styles a preview of tomorrow night’s NXT main event. The Phenomenal One is going to be overtaken by the Grayson Waller Effect.

 

Liv Morgan speaks.

“I know what it’s like to come so close to victory that you can almost taste it. That’s what happened to me at Day 1.” Liv won’t stop giving it her all. So it may be a new year, but she has the same attitude that got her to the title. When she wins this Triple Threat, she won’t just come close, she’ll finally win the Raw Women’s Championship! But speaking of…

Becky Lynch heads to the ring!

The Man holds up the title while wearing her GOAT jacket, because she wants to watch this main event up close and personal. What will her reaction be to tonight’s Triple Threat?

 

Alexa Bliss… is in therapy?

She sits and stares at her psychiatrist while the Newton balls clack clack. She looks at them, and they stop… Dr. Scubel welcomes Alexa and asks she take deep breaths. She lets out groaning exhales then giggles. Now, the first step to recovery is admitting there is a problem in the first place. Oh, right. She is melodramatic as she asks he fix her. Well there is no doubt she’s been through a lot of trauma, but time for healing. He will show her things and will gauge her reactions. Before he can say how long it’ll take, he needs to know where she is right now. Video plays of what Charlotte did to Alexa’s doll, Lily. Alexa, how does this make you feel?

She forces a smile, sits up, and takes a glass. It makes her feel thirsty. Well okay. She fills the glass, and then lets it spill over. And then she dumps the pitcher out. Then s he grabs the doctor’s tie and asks how he feels. Not great. Shame. Because she feels pretty dandy. She throws the pitcher against the wall, tips the table over, and then grabs a notebook. If the first step is admitting she has a problem, then she definitely has a problem! Go ahead and write about it! Breathe- Right. Breathe in, then out. And as she exhales, she smashes more things in his office! There’s a line, Alexa! She throws the flowers, then she shrieks! Will this road back be darker than the doctor expected?

 

Raw returns and Becky is in the ring.

She has a mic to say, “Welcome to the Big Time! Now, we got three women back there who are about to come out for a big time Triple Threat match. Each woman fantastic in their own right. You’ve got tenacious Liv Morgan, who won’t back down even though she really should. You’ve got Bianca Belair, who has undeniable strength. About as undeniable as how quickly I beat her at SummerSlam, huh? And then, and then you’ve got Doudrop. Now, I have to give respect to a fellow Celt for going out to take what she wants.” And with such great competitors, anything can happen. They all have notions of grandeur! That finally, they will overthrow Becky!

Yes, a battle for the ages. All fighting for the right to one day tell their grandkids that they lost to Big Time Becky Lynch! And with that said, Becky will lend her talents to the commentary team, so go ahead and bring out the three. “Have fun fightin’ for me, babes.”

Raw Women’s Championship Triple Threat: Liv Morgan VS Bianca Belair VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven!

Becky reviews how many times she’s beaten Liv and Bianca, but she may have to do it all over again at the Rumble. Or, Piper could get the biggest win of her career yet as she Doudrops the past to become The Man’s future. We find out who gets that golden ticket to St. Louis, after the break!

Raw returns and the bell rings. Bianca, Liv and Piper all start throwing hands! Piper headbutts Liv down, headbutts Bianca, then headbutts Liv again! BIG back suplex for Bianca, then Piper goes to bring her up. Bianca throws Piper out of the ring, but Piper drags her out. They scrap, but Liv SLINGSHOTS to take them both down! Liv fires up, puts Bianca back in, covers, TWO! Fans rally, Bianca shoves Liv and CLOBBERS her! Bianca runs, Liv drops, Bianca handsprings to tell Liv to kiss this. Things keep moving, Liv leaps and RANAS, but Bianca rolls to a corner. Liv runs in, Bianca dodges to RAM into Liv!

Bianca climbs up, rains down hands, but Piper runs in. Bianca leaps over, and adds Piper to the pile! But Piper powers up to bring Bianca away! Bianca fights free, dropkicks Piper into the corner, and Liv gets Bianca for a back suplex! Bianca lands on her feet, back suplexes Liv down, but Piper SPLASHES onto them both! Becky is amazed by that, and Piper drags Bianca up. Piper CLUBS Bianca, scoops her, then hits the MICHONOKU DRIVER! Piper then runs at Liv but Liv BOOTS her! Liv goes up, leaps, but Piper blocks rana for an ELECTRIC CHAIR SLAM onto Bianca! Double cover, TWO!!

Piper grows frustrated, but she keeps on Liv with a cobra clutch. Liv endures, fans rally up, and Becky can’t fault Piper for taking what she wants. Becky really isn’t sure how she’d do against Piper, but she’d still win. Liv fights up, Piper ripcords and whips Liv to the corner, for a SPLASH! Piper runs in to CANNONBALL, but only gets buckles as Liv dodges! Liv goes up to double stop, but Piper doesn’t even budge! Liv keeps trying but Piper tosses her out and Liv hits steel steps on the way down! Piper grits her teeth while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns once again, and Piper fights off the chicken wings to HEADBUTT Bianca down! Piper brings her back up, whips Bianca to a corner and runs in, but Bianca slips out Piper POSTS herself, Bianca goes up, but Liv uses Piper to get up and SUPER STEINER Bianca! O’Conner Roll to Piper, TWO and Liv hits buckles! Bianca runs back in to SPEAR Piper!! Fans fire up while all three women are down! Liv sits up, Bianca goes after Piper but Piper bails out. Bianca and Liv meet, and they start throwing hands! Fans fire up, Bianca shoves then ducks the enziguri to roll up! TWO, RINGS OF SATURN! Liv has Bianca, Bianca is flailing, grabs at Liv’s hair, but Liv throws elbows!

Liv pulls back harder, Bianca keeps pulling at Liv’s hair, but Bianca is still caught at center! Liv throws more elbows, Bianca grits her teeth and powers up! The strongEST and toughEST gets back to her feet! Liv can’t believe it as Bianca swings her around, but into a CODE BREAKER! Liv sees Piper coming, CODE BREAKER! Bianca is up, Liv spins her, WING SNAPPER and a boot into buckles! Liv CLUBS Bianca, gets the arms again and reels Bianca in to hoist her up top. Liv CLUBS Bianca more, climbs up top, but Bianca resists the back suplex! Piper CLUBS them both and Bianca hits POST! Piper brings Liv off the corner, for a POWERBOMB! Cover, EST 450!!

Becky is shocked seeing Bianca breaking that one up, but says it was only “mildly impressive.” Bianca crawls over, covers Piper, TWO! Cover onto Liv, TWO!! Bianca can’t believe it! Bianca says this is hers, and she eggs the others on! She fires off forearms on Piper, then Liv, then SPINEBUSTER for Piper! GlamEST Slam into Piper! Bianca handsprings, for a DOUBLE SPLASH! Bianca gets Liv up, torture rack! KISS OF DEATH!! But BECKY breaks it up!? She throws Bianca out, refusing to let the EST meet her again! Becky throws off her jacket, Bianca gets after her, and the chase is on! Becky swings, Bianca kicks her first! Bianca fires off, but Becky THROWS Bianca over the desk!

Piper capitalizes by putting Liv in a drop zone! VADER BOMB!! Cover, Piper wins!!

Winner: “Doudrop” Piper Niven, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contender to the Raw Women’s Championship)

The Man gets in and grins as she sees her fellow Celt winning. Becky offers a handshake, but then SLAPOS Piper! Becky tires the Man Handle Slam, but Piper is too big and strong for that! Piper throws Becky out of the ring, and now Becky might be realizing the mistake she just made. Is Becky about to get Doudropped big time?


My Thoughts:

A really good Raw, and much better than last week. Still the same problems of recapping, going to commercial just as matches are about to start, stuff like that, but that just seems to be how Vince wants to schedule things out from now on. But at least the things we got this week were all better quality. The interaction between Lesnar and Lashley at the beginning was really good stuff, especially how Lesnar threw the “ducking” thing onto Lashley. He could’ve delivered his last line a bit better but hey, he’s still got the upper hand on Lashley here. I did like that Alexander & Benjamin were back, but bummed that they’re going to be fodder for Lashley as he builds towards the Rumble.

The Raw Tag Team title match was a great opener, and what a shocker that the Academy won! I’m not sure what’s next for RKBRO, but I would love to see what promo they come up with about this loss. And now with the champions being Heels, it opens things up for a Face team like the Profits or Rey & Dominik Mysterio to go after them and perhaps take those titles come Mania. Profits & Priest VS Dawgs & Apollo was good stuff, all these guys will look good in the Rumble but I don’t see them winning it. Perhaps Profits and Dawgs battle, winner to face the Academy, and Apollo can be Priest’s next US Championship challenger.

As for the Women’s Tag Team Division, RIP another team. I was hoping the direction they were going was Nikki changing gimmicks again. Well, she could still do that if she really does change from superhero to supervillain, but as I’ve said before, I was hoping for SAnitY to return. Corey Graves even set it up on commentary with the usual, “insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results.” But now, who is even around to challenge Vega & Carmella? A team from SmackDown forming out of nowhere? Not to be a broken record, but maybe if WWE didn’t cut so many people, we could’ve had Tegan & Shotzi challenging long before this point.

Big E is looking primed to be a Rumble winner after tonight. Rollins gloats about being Roman’s challenger, he has a great match with Big E, and Rollins wins so he has momentum. Big E can use this to motivate himself to win that Rumble, and he’ll have a killer match at Mania no matter who holds the top titles. Omos crushes a jobber, which again would’ve been another great spot for someone WWE cut. Styles VS Theory was going well but I should’ve known Waller would interfere. More heat for their NXT match, maybe it’ll get fans to check it out. Thankfully the only interaction with Theory and Vince tonight was referenced, not shown. Those segments are almost as bad as Happy Talk.

We got a really good segment from the Cutting Edge. That was a really good video to review Beth’s great career in the ring, and Maryse bailing on Miz was such a great moment. I would think the “Grit Couple” still win, but expect Miz & Maryse to pull out all the Heel stops. Alexa Bliss’ “journey back” of course has her still playing Playground Alexa, but it did work with how she was throwing things around the office. She has a grudge against Charlotte, so Alexa will totally be in the Rumble with the sole mission of keeping Charlotte from winning. Honestly, everyone in the Women’s Rumble should be ready for when Charlotte shows up so they can all throw her out.

And lastly, that Triple Threat was a great main event. Good promos to hype it up during the night, and Becky was really good on commentary. I would’ve liked for Becky to let Piper win this outright in a classic opportunistic way. Piper could’ve broken the pin, thrown Bianca into a post, then still hit the Vader Bomb on Liv. But I suppose on one level, this keeps Bianca strong since Becky is why she was out of the running. On another, Bianca also has a lot of Face power going into the Rumble and is a top choice to win. It was also a great moment for Becky to try and swerve Piper, only for it to fail. Piper is going to have an awesome match with Becky, but pretty sure Becky still wins.

My Score: 8.4/10


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More From Japan

NOAH WEEKLY NEWSLETTER VOL.187 ~ 29TH SEPTEMBER 2022

Keiji Mutoh continues his Retirement tour and bringing out faces from the past! NOAH has a new champion! Interesting inter-promotional battles on the horizon as well!

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NEWS

Kaito Kiyomiya is the new GHC Heavyweight Champion, nominates Kazuyuki Fujita as challenger

Following provocation by Kenoh not only saying that he was going to be the one to inherit Keiji Mutoh’s Shining Wizard and the memory of Keiji Mutoh himself (and the outright claim that Kiyomiya would simply forget about Mutoh once Mutoh had retired, which Kiyomiya didn’t even bother responding to), Kenoh went one step further at their last pre match on the 19th September by pulling Keiji Mutoh’s pose, kissing his hand, putting it to Kiyomiya’s lips and then exploding it. Kiyomiya erupted in fury at this, it was far more than any verbal provocation of Kenoh’s, which I guess he has learned to ignore over the years. They fought for the GHC Heavyweight in Nagoya on September 25th, with Kiyomiya emerging victorious following a modified Shining Wizard. As Kenoh left it was like a spell was broken. Kenoh went backstage and muttered about Kiyomiya being the company favorite and in his interview the day after winning the title, Kiyomiya said nothing about Keiji Mutoh. Mutoh as we know had been a focus of both Kiyomiya and Kenoh leading up to the title match.

Back in the ring, Kiyomiya called out his next opponent. Kazuyuki Fujita. Fujita came to the ring, carrying a can of beer which he swigged from. Getting in the ring he circled Kiyomiya and took off his t-shirt. Kiyomiya said that he was expecting a fight, but Fujita did something that no other NOAH wrestler had (or perhaps would) do, and that was to throw himself at Kiyomiya and then make nuzzling motions against his head, while he licked the belt. Kiyomiya pushed him off, and Fujita retaliated by pouring beer over his head.

Kiyomiya screaming that he hated beer was met with Fujita toasting him from the ramp and yelling “Kampaiii” (“cheers”) after a fight had broken out, and Kiyomiya threw him from the ring.

 

Backstage, Kiyomiya said his reason for nominating Kazuyuki Fujita as his challenger was that he had never been defeated for the GHC Heavyweight. Fujita had to give up the belt due to Coronavirus. It has been a recurring theme of most of the GHC Heavyweight champions since Go Shiozaki, that Fujita has been the man to beat in order to cement yourself as champion. Kiyomiya was picking up that torch.

As for Fujita, he played it as if he was a Casanova and had been asked out on a date by warning Kiyomiya that when you experience Fujita, you can never go back because you were never going to be the same. He was going to “make it a night to remember”. He sipped his beer, and licked his lips afterwards.

Title match has been set for NOAH’s return to Ariake on the 30th October.

STINGER lose, NOAH Junior Regulars win, enter Tadasuke (with a chair)

Following a period of brutal attacks on Seiki Yoshioka (by the end of the match he could hardly use one side of his body) and a title challenge where Atsushi Kotoge was bloodied up, The NOAH Junior Regulars emerged victorious and bought the tag titles home to their unit. They had very little time to celebrate their win and put ice on their wounds, when Tadasuke burst in and attacked Atsushi Kotoge with a chair while Hi69 beat up on the already incapacitated Seiki Yoshioka. Tadasuke (wild grin on his face) got on the microphone and made a challenge for the tag titles. Then Tadasuke wiped the blood from Kotoge that had got on his hands on his hair, leaving red streaks in the peroxide. Tadasuke was even waving the bloodied seat of the chair, which had detached during the attack, around backstage.

Title match will be on the 30th October when NOAH return to the Ariake complex.

Takashi Sugiura and Satoshi Kojima, NOAH’s most dysfunctional tag team, win the GHC Heavyweight tag titles

It must be said that with the combined efforts of Satoshi Kojima and Hideki Suzuki, we almost have our Sugi back.

At the press conference/title match signing, Sugi and Kojima appeared dressed in suits and wearing dark glasses. They looked something between The Men In Black and “Dangerous Detectives” (as Tokyo Sports called them  which stems from a Japanese TV show). Hideki Suzuki was on form, not only mistranslating Timothy Thatcher and stating at one point that Thatcher said he came to Japan to “beat you up” and being rude to a journalist for being overfamiliar with his “punk mouth”, the highlight of the press conference was his long close up stare at Sugi, who was trying not to laugh.

The dysfunctional team won the titles in Nagoya on the 25th September, and despite their falling out during the match, Sugi actually gave Kojima a proper handshake. Then they went back to squabbling backstage over Kojima talking on the mic when it was Sugi who got the win. No challengers have come forward as of yet.

HAYATA retains the GHC Junior, Ninja Mack makes his long awaited challenge

It had been an emotional match for YO-HEY, and for fans. Cutting out the aerial techniques that had characterized their earlier matches, both he and HAYATA demonstrated how much they had both evolved by concentrating on a more NOAH based ground attack with submissions. YO-HEY might have failed in the challenge, but he had at least gotten one win over HAYATA in the pre-match. He knew the title match would be different and he would need to level up, and afterwards he reflected and said he would start from rock bottom in order to make his next challenge. What fans had noticed that while things had changed between them, some things were the same, such as YO-HEY coloring his hair, his tongue (and even his boxer shorts) purple, which is HAYATA’s color, and HAYATA not speaking as much as he has done in previous title challenges, as he is content to let YO-HEY talk. After the match, Ninja Mack came to challenge. HAYATA accepted by saying, that he was “finally interested in the belt” and acknowledging him as challenger. Title match will of course be on the 30th October. But HAYATA is not immediately going into a fallout match with Ninja Mack at NOAH’s next event on the 30th, but is having a tag match against YO-HEY.

Keiji Mutoh’s Retirement Road

Keiji Mutoh has been very busy.

– 23rd September: Great Muta appears in AEW

The Great Muta made a surprise appearance in AEW to rescue Sting, who had been tied to a chair by Darby Allen. Muta came to the ring, advanced on Sting and then turned and spat green mist into the face of Allen and then reunited with Sting. Keiji Mutoh announced that Sting would attend Muta’s retirement on the 22nd in Yokohama, but has not said in what capacity, although it is assumed that they will tag. Regarding any further appearances in America, Mutoh said he didn’t think it was likely, but did warn that The Great Muta may pop up somewhere as you never knew where he would turn up next.

– 25th September: Keiji Mutoh Retirement Road: Love Forever 2

Keiji Mutoh teamed with his junior Kazuyuki Fujita to take on Mutoh’s classmate, Masakatsu Funaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima, who Mutoh has known since he was a boy, and still calls affectionately “Katsuhiko”. Nakajima said he was going to break up this class reunion, and while Mutoh did get kicked (Nakajima smirked and said it was fun when Mutoh later complained his leg still hurt) but it was Fujita who got the worst of it. During the match, Nakajima pulled out Mutoh’s Space Rolling Elbow. Mutoh was initially not pleased, but then he became very happy to see it and said that he thought that “Katsuhiko” did it because he had some small measure of feeling for him. I think had Nakajima been a more acrobatic wrestler, Mutoh might have handed it to him. Mutoh won the match with The Shining Wizard, pinning Nakajima. This was Mutoh’s farewell to Nagoya, his classmate, his junior and Nakajima.

– 26th September: Hiroshi Tanahashi comes to the press conference and a tag match is announced

Hiroshi Tanahashi presented 38 roses to Mutoh when he came to the press conference. Each rose symbolizes a year of Mutoh’s career. Mutoh joked that he should have laid them at his feet, as had happened in boxing recently. Tanahashi said he wasn’t good at ad-libbing, and then introduced himself as “one of the greatest New Japan talents in the past one hundred years”. During the press conference, a tag match was announced. New Japan’s Hiroshi Tanahashi, Togi Makabe and Honma Tomoaki will team together against the team of Naomichi Marufuji, Keiji Mutoh and Keiji Mutoh. This will take place on the 30th October. Mutoh has not given up hope of appearing one final time in the New Japan ring.

– 16th October: A new match is announced

NOAH announced that due to fan demand, Keiji Mutoh will be appearing in Fukuoka. He will tag with Ninja Mack and Satoshi Kojima against Naomichi Marufuji, HAYATA and Jack Morris. Satoshi Kojima is of course connected to Mutoh through All Japan and New Japan, Naomichi Marufuji has wanted a match against Mutoh (he will be tagging with him as we know on the 30th October) and HAYATA has been a big fan of Mutoh for a while, as he has influenced a lot of his style and persona. HAYATA thinks of himself and The Great Muta as “The Phantom Team”. Muta doesn’t like to speak and HAYATA said, neither does he.

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima head overseas

Naomichi Marufuji and Katsuhiko Nakajima will appear for Evolution Pro Wrestling in New York for their anniversary show on November 12th. Marufuji’s match is yet to be announced, but Nakajima will take on Josh Alexander. Alexander has said he wonders how Nakajima is going to kick after he snaps his ankle. They will also appear at King of Indies in San Francisco on November 19th.

NOSAWA vs Katsuhiko Nakajima (and Kenoh)

After being beaten up by Katsuhiko Nakajima who gave him some pretty stiff soccerball kicks outside the ring at Korakuen Hall recently, (although he would tell you that Nakajima tried to beat him up), NOSAWA Rongai has been on a quest to face Nakajima in a match. Then he threw in Kenoh, so it could be himself and Eita versus Kongoh. Hideki Suzuki told him that he was probably going to die, but NOSAWA has taken no notice and kept on with his demand. His demand has not been met because rather than facing Nakajima and Kenoh, NOAH have booked him against rookies Yasutaka Yano and Kai Fujimura. NOSAWA thinks he is having to go through some kind of trial.

ELSEWHERE IN NOAH

– Hideki Suzuki has hinted that perhaps Takashi Sugiura might like to get back online.

– Yoshiki Inamura and YO-HEY continued their guild, despite the fact that YO-HEY said someone attacked and burned their castle down. A picture was taken of YO-HEY and Inamura playing the game, with YO-HEY seated cross legged on Inamura, who was doing a bridge in the ring. We have seen Inamura used as a weight, but is he now used as furniture?

– NOAH’s Director, Narihiro Takeda, wrote on a NOAH Note that he would like for Darby Allin to come to NOAH one day.

– Tadasuke got a match thrown out by ripping off Alejandro’s mask. Tadasuke did not care, and did not even respond when Alejandro asked if he wanted a mask for himself?

– Daiki Inaba had his long awaited singles match with Katsuhiko Nakajima, but failed to revenge himself for Nakajima’s behavior in W-1. Nakajima even went for the cocky pin by grinning and leaning on Inaba.

– There was usual chaos at the NOAH Junior Space sessions as Daisuke Harada is not there to take control. Atsushi Kotoge seems to be the main culprit, forgetting to invite Seiki Yoshioka in and at one time even failing to press record.

– It’s probably best that Daiki Inaba, who apparently likes to be in the nip backstage, was not present when NOAH was at Differ. It was bad enough that Sugi used to wander around naked…

– Mitsuharu Misawa wrote in a diary entry for 2006 about filming an advert for THE LEAVE, and having to sing first thing in the morning while they were filming. Probably due to the fact that he had a problem with his throat anyway, was a heavy smoker and had taken “so many chops and kicks” to it in his career, he said he sounded very hoarse.

EVENT RECAPS AND POST MATCH PROMOS

SUNNY VOYAGE – September 19th 

Event recap

Post match promos

N-INNOVATION – September 21st 

Event recap

Post match promos

GRAND SHIP 2022 IN NAGOYA/KEIJI MUTOH RETIREMENT ROAD – September 25th

Event recap

Post match promos

CURRENT CHAMPIONS

  • GHC Heavyweight Champion: Kaito Kiyomiya
    Challenger: Kazuyuki Fujita, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Junior Champion: HAYATA
    Challenger: Ninja Mack, [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC Heavyweight Tag Champions: KojiSugi (Satoshi Kojima & Takashi Sugiura)
    Challengers: TBA
  • GHC Junior Tag Champions: The NOAH Junior Regulars (Atsushi Kotoge & Seiki Yoshioka)
    Challengers: Kongoh Juniors (Tadasuke & Hi69), [Muto Retirement Road] ABEMA presents Ariake Gaisen-THE RETURN-PRO-WRESTLING LOVE FOREVER . 3 ~TRIUMPH~ Sunday 30th October, Ariake Arena, Tokyo
  • GHC National Champion: Masakatsu Funaki
    Challenger: Masa Kitamiya, SUNNY VOYAGE 2022 – Friday September 30th (Bandaijima Multi-Purpose Square Ogama)

(This event will not be broadcast live, but hopefully this match will be shown via Instagram)

THIS WEEK IN NOAH

(October 2022 schedule)

– Friday, October 7th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse/ABEMA (live)

– Saturday, October 8th

STAR NAVIGATION 2022 – Korakuen Hall, Tokyo

Time: 18:30 JST

Broadcast: WrestleUniverse (live)

Note about broadcasts

Unless you are living in Japan or have a VPN you know is compatible with ABEMA, please do not subscribe to the service. For fans living outside of Japan, a subscription to WrestleUniverse would be better as they show more NOAH shows than ABEMA, and usually the events get uploaded very quickly. ABEMA broadcasts are only in Japanese, you can only watch them live, and this is the only NOAH they show. They do not broadcast old shows as these belong to Samurai TV.

BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES

Wednesday, 5th October: Keiji Mutoh debut anniversary (38)

Wednesday, 5th October: Seiki Yoshioka debut anniversary (14)

LINKS

“I want to protect this belt for the rest of my life”, new GHC champion Kiyomiya holds morning press conference to establish a new NOAH landscape

Mutoh’s Retirement Road, tag match against Tanahashi in round three: “I want to grab the secret of secrets”, Tanahashi presents 38 roses

Great Muta teaming up with Sting for last match? “Agent” Mutoh’s opinion 

“I wonder if I can transmit more” YO-HEY aims to revitalize the junior ark with his first championship

AEW Shock! Great Muta appears in America! Rescues Sting and shake of hands

“Follow Me You Bastards” – Kenoh’s Weekly Pro Column

GHC Junior Match Signing: YO-HEY “Last Chance, I don’t think as my ex partner now”, HAYATA “I don’t feel anything”

“Taka & Satoshi” reveal a “dangerous detective” look, mischievous Suzuki is a reckless interpreter, the GHC tag signing ceremony is thrown into chaos by bizarre question and answer between the two teams

 A “Comrade” and an “Older Brother”, Masakatsu Funaki talks about his thoughts on Mutoh’s retirement, “I want to kick him mercilessly”

BOOK CORNER

“Donmai, Donmai” – Mitsuharu Misawa’s diary

With thanks to: Metal NOAH

GIF taken from WrestleUniverse & NOAH Official YouTube

Picture credit: YO-HEY & NOAH.co.jp


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Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 9.29.2022

Bound for Glory is 8 days away, but Victory Road just happened. What kind of show do we get with some fallout and penultimate hype?

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Victory Road just happened, but Bound for Glory is like 8 nights away? You know I forgot that it was such a quick turn around. That makes tonight weird, since there’s some fallout, but then there’s gonna be a lot of table setting for Bound for Glory.

This episode could be awful. The last week or so haven’t exactly set the world afire, so I’m curious if the highlight really is just gonna be the Monster’s Ball with Masha and Allie Katch.

*insert joke about possibly gagging and balls and Swinger’s Dungeon*

Ratings:

  • Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid: Bullet Club win via Finesse & Fold – **
  • IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve: Myers retains via Roster Cut – ** 1/2
  • Delirious vs Black Taurus: Black Taurus wins via Destination Hellhole – ** 1/4
  • PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath: Rich wins via Phoenix Splash – ** 1/4
  • Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – *** 1/2

Results:

Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Chris Bey w/Juice Robinson) vs Trey Miguel & Laredo Kid

I don’t think I could care less about this match if I tried. Trey and Laredo are worthless. Laredo has eaten so many terrible losses and Trey is just bad. If the BC Juniors don’t win…I will really question the booking.

My biggest takeaway early is the commentary tries to put over Trey “turning heads”. No he doesn’t, he is legitimately hard to watch and everything that Will Ospreay did wrong in his early career; is basically Trey, but with less personality. Oh did you expect play by play? They isolate Laredo, decent tandem attacks, when Trey comes in it’s bad offense typical Cruiser garbage with laughable facials and body language.

Just typical crap with Trey. Were there some cool high spots? Sure. Do I care? NOPE.

IMPACT Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Crazzy Steve

Steve starts with some of his quirky mat wrestling, Arm Wringers into Drop Toe Holds and face biting. It shocked Myers early, but he takes a small shortcut and starts trying to slow down the psycho from Decay. Steve bounces off the ropes and Myers does his sliding trip move before commercial.

Back from commercial, Snapmare from Steve and the neck twister into some corner offense of Hip Attacks and Sentons for 2. Myers dodges King Kill 33, lands a few pot shots, Implant DDT for 2. Into the corner, face bite, Upside Down, after the rope break Myers grabs the referee to block Steve. Eye Poke, Roster Cut, AND STILL…

Simple, but entertaining. Plus it continues Myers’ arrogant, full of himself for absolutely no reason persona. Oh and he offers up an Open Challenge for Bound for Glory. Maybe Bobby Fish? Someone new? Could be interesting. 

Delirious vs Black Taurus

Delirious is between gibberish and Stone Cold early on while they’re just trading shots. Delirious twists the Nose Ring…in the mask…and Taurus sells it momentarily before stomping the foot and decking him. This is just a weird match. I mean we all know Delirious is weird, but he’s not all comedy; and Taurus is supposed to be legit-ish.

Admittedly, with the exception of Victory Road, it has been years since I’ve watched a Delirious match. So the level of ridiculousness has hit Toru Yano levels, especially after the 10 count Leg Drops. Taurus powders, comes back in, Shoulder Tackle, Blackhole Backbreaker into a Samoan Drop. As soon as Taurus looks in charge, Delirious throws together a combo, eats a Headbutt and then Destination Hellhole.

Sheesh okay after 2 interview segments we get to Honor No More’s victory celebration segment. Just a lot of talking and inaction, so this just goes to feed that weird feeling I had coming into the show because of the timing. Eddie does the usual thing where hates on PCO and accuses him of being the weak link, which is a smart story angle since the fans tend to like PCO’s gimmick and this makes him more sympathetic to casual observers. 

Oh good Taven is talking nowWait did I just say that? DAMN YOU IMPACT! Made me like Matt Taven. Maria stirs the pot a little saying that Eddie is a better wrestler than Josh and Moose…by the implications. 

Thank God, Josh Alexander finally breaks up the segment with…more talking. Okay never mind. Jesus since the end of the Delirious match it was like 15 minutes before Josh finally charged the ring and threw down a bit with Honor No More. Rich Swann and Heath make a bit of the babyface save for Josh, but the numbers are still on Honor No More’s side. Oh MCMG come down in a tracksuit and dress clothes! Someone wasn’t ready to be doing a run in.

PCO & Vincent vs Rich Swann & Heath

Well isn’t that convenient that four of the men in the donnybrook were supposed to be in a match anyway.

Rich uses his quickness to try and stay ahead of PCO, but PCO cuts him off in the corner into the Corner Hung Codebreaker, then the leaned against the ropes Leg Drop thing. Vincent throws together a T-Bone Suplex into a Flatliner and keeps the vibes flowing on Rich Swann.

PCO clears out Heath, but PCO’s hand gets stuck in the ropes. Vincent eats a flip kick and the Phoenix Splash while PCO and Heath are brawling on the outside after the rope issue with PCO.

Pick Your Poison: Monster’s Ball Match: Masha Slamovich vs Allie Katch

Haymakers and Headbutts start things off as they both hit the ropes and lay out one another with dual clotheslines. Trash can lid duel, Masha gets first contact, but Allie blocks and returns 3 shots. German Suplex from Masha into whipping her with a chain, some choking and then general pulling with the chain in Katch’s mouth or around her eyes. Katch claws at Masha’s eyes to try and get some space.

Headbutts and Biting from Masha as Allie tries to power out of a Bow and Arrow. More chain choking…I’m not sure if this is a wrestling match or BDSM prep at the moment. Ahh Masha needs more Cowbell but Allie cuts her off with a trash can lid. Allie tries a Piledriver through a door, but Masha turns it into an Air Raid Crash into the opposite corner.

Commercial break, and Allie is getting choked again. Spots get a little redundant, slams, chokes, and blood. OHHH – it’s a “Use the Door” chant. I thought it was – nah – I won’t say what I thought it was. Chairshot from Masha misses, but a Snap Suplex from Masha onto the chair gets some usefulness. Straight Right to the gut and an Axe Kick allows Masha to hit the Death Valley Driver onto the propped up chair. Masha goes back to biting after it was only 2. Allie cuts off Masha going to the top, Superplex onto the trash can lid, into a Death Valley Driver through the door – but Masha kicks out.

Allie tries a Piledriver on the apron a few times, but Masha blocks. Masha tries for the Release German to the floor but Allie holds on. Dazed strikes, bites and then a Russian Leg Sweep through the table lays both out for a short time. Masha grabs a black bag, it’s gotta be tacks for Monster’s Ball. Masha eats a few tacks for good show, picks up Allie but Allie fights. Piledriver into the tacks from Allie, only 2. Allie opens a trash can, and empties a bunch of cut up soda cans. Hits Masha with the can, Masha fires, Spinning Heel Kick and then Russian Death Device into the pile of tacks and cans.

Overall Score: 6.25/10

The main event was pretty good, maybe even a little better than I gave it credit for; I’m just sick of seeing some crazy hardcore match so often from Impact. It feels like its weekly, and that’s too damn much. Trey is terrible, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. He sells poorly, he doesn’t tell a story with his wrestling and he looks like an idiot pretending to be something he isn’t; and that’s talented.

Myers is fine with his classic delusional heel style, Delirious gave a bit of a rub to Taurus so I’m guessing he’s probably next up in the X Division. But a straight 15 minutes of interviews and talking is just too damn much especially when the surrounding wrestling isn’t very good or hearty enough to help people tolerate talking time.

I do however love Joe Hendry. So…yeah. There’s always some quirky gimmicks that just resonate well with me, and this is gorgeous.

All in all, decent enough; though next week could be a real banger of a Go Home.


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