The Man prepares for the Royal Rumble!
“Doudrop” Piper Niven is coming for the Raw Women’s Championship, and she won’t be Manhandled so easily! How will Becky Lynch counter Piper’s power?
- Bianca Belair & Liv Morgan VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch; Piper & Becky win.
- Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens; Kevin wins.
- Finn Balor VS Austin Theory; Theory wins.
- Nikki A.S.H. VS Rhea Ripley; No Contest.
- Reggie w/ Dana Brooke VS Omos; Omos wins.
- 8 Man Tag: The Street Profits & The Mysterios VS Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez & The Dirty Dawgs; The Street Profits & Mysterios win.
- Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Seth Rollins; Lashley wins, by disqualification.
PLAY BY PLAY
Becky Lynch heads to the ring!
Tulsa, Oklahoma, The Man has come ’round! Fans chant her name as she gets the mic, and she welcomes them to the Big Time! “Now we are less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble, and the Raw Women’s Division has never been hotter. And whether you like to admit it or not, there’s only one person responsible for that, and that’s me.” Becky says it is so hot that there are stars from generations past, like Lita, Mickie James and the Bella Twins, all hoping that they can win the Rumble and challenge the #VanGOAT at WrestleMania. Face it, they need Becky because she makes stars.
Look no further than Doudrop. Becky has kindly given her the biggest opportunity of her life, a taste of the Big Time at one of the biggest events of the year. The people didn’t get her that! Piper Niven didn’t get it for herself. Becky did that! That is what Becky does! She makes people better, than she beats ’em! But Becky will admit that she admires Piper’s tenacity. She came from the rolling hills of Scotland and made a name for herself. Well no, someone else had to make up a name for her. So Becky will shoot it straight for “Doudou.” A doudrop will never be champion so long as The Man is still here.
But speaking of, here she comes! Piper storms right up to the ring, gets herself a mic and says she’s gonna tell Becky something. “You didn’t get me anything. I got myself this title match at Royal Rumble. But if it was really your plan to face me instead of Bianca, than it’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made. Just make sure you stay well out of my way tonight.” Becky says she did get Piper that win last week, and if Piper just follows her lead, they’ll get a win here tonight. But here comes Bianca Belair! “Oh, Becky. You really out here spittin’ all this nonsense about being the GOAT, the greatEST of all time, but let me remind y’all that you can’t spell greatest without E S T.”
Bianca joins Piper and Becky in the ring as fans chant for “EST! EST!” Bianca reminds us SHE is the EST of WWE. And Doudrop, uh, okay. The only reason Piper is facing Becky is because Ms. Big Time was so scared of Bianca, she interfered in last week’s match. But girl, uh-uh. That’s just buyin’ time. Because Bianca is officially entering the Royal Rumble match! And it’s gonna be every woman for themselves, so if Bianca’s gotta throw out every 29 other women like she did last year, she’ll do it. Then she’ll go main event WrestleMania… again. And Bianca can go after whichever champion she wants, which could be Becky or Piper.
But now, Bianca’s tag partner, Liv Morgan, arrives! “Well, well, well, Bianca. We may be tag teaming tonight, but I am also officially entering myself in the Royal Rumble match. And that’s not all, that’s not all. Because in two weeks, I’m also the one winning it.” But that means Bianca will be one of the 29 she outlasts on the way to WrestleMania. But since we’re on the same page- Piper pretends to snore and then says this is boring. Everyone, shut up and ref, get in here! Piper wants to fight, but it’s Becky who riles up Liv and Bianca, and then uses Piper as a shield! Piper welcomes someone to bring it, but this starts after the break.
Chad Gable prepares a speech.
“Greetings and salutations…” Otis walks over, the valedictorian of The Alpha Academy. Will this graduation ceremony go off without a hitch?
Bianca Belair & Liv Morgan VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch!
Raw returns and the bell rings, and Bianca dropkicks Piper! Piper stays up but Bianca whips. Piper blocks, reverses, but Bianca goes up tot ell Piper to kiss this. Then Bianca leaps over Piper, spins her around and reels her in, but Piper blocks the suplex. Piper suplexes, Bianca slips out and then dodges in the corner! Piper hits buckles, Bianca ROCKS Piper with a forearm, then runs in to ram Piper. Piper rebounds to run Bianca over! Piper runs, Becky tags in! Piper is annoyed with Becky but Becky says she’s got this. They argue, Becky turns around into a dropkick! Bianca kips up, tags Liv, Liv dodges Becky to DECK Piper and SHOTGUN Becky!
Becky is in a corner, Liv back body blocks, then SHINING WIZARDS! Liv whips, Becky reverses but Liv stops to back elbow. Liv goes up to leap and missile dropkick Becky down! Liv then brings Becky around, springboard CODE BREAKER! Cover, Piper breaks it! Bianca gets in to ROCK Piper, but she can’t lift Piper for the torture rack. Piper shoves Bianca into a corner and SPLASHES! Piper runs at Liv but Liv sends her out! Becky rolls Liv up, has feet on the ropes, TWO! Liv kicks low, KICKS again, then runs in, but Becky dodges! Liv elbows Becky again, but runs into a MANHANDLE SLAM! Cover, Piper breaks it?! But that was her own teammate!
Piper drags Becky out of the way, wants to cover, but she’s not legal! So Piper hurries back to her corner, tags herself in, and then runs to SPLASH Liv! Cover, Piper and Becky win!
Winners: “Doudrop” Piper Niven & Becky Lynch, by pinfall
Then Piper celebrates by giving Becky a VADER SEATED SENTON! Piper laughs as she looms over Becky, but will she have the last laugh at the Rumble?
Reggie and Dana Brooke talk with someone.
Reggie knows they’ve faced giants in their career, so can they give Reggie any advice when facing Omos tonight? The person he’s talking to is Edge! Edge thinks, and he tells Reggie that he can do things Edge can’t even comprehend. So he has a chance? Hell no! Beth Phoenix scolds Edge with a smack, and Edge says he still wishes Reggie luck. And Beth talks with Dana real quick. She’s seen Dana bust her butt for years here, so it’s so great Dana has a title. Dana thanks Beth for that, and hurries away to keep up with Reggie. Edge and Beth then see Damian Priest. They shake hands and hug and Priest is happy to see the Grit Couple.
Edge says he likes what he sees with Priest’s other side. Yeah, Priest’s other side is a bit edgy, but being serious here, Priest wants some ideas on the Rumble match. Edge has experience, having won two, one of which he won from starting first. There’s no better man to ask for pointers than Edge. Well cardio is one thing, but the main thing is to keep doing you. Priest’s style is working. Someone brings over a note for Beth, and it’s from Maryse. She wants to meet Beth 1v1, woman to woman. Edge says that’s suspicious. Beth is of course going to go but Edge is going to go with her. Beth agrees, and Edge says he and Priest can talk more later. What will the It Couple have planned for the Grit Couple?
Kevin Owens then walks over to ask Priest something. Kevin is looking forward to their match tonight. Really? Yeah, no lie! He’s looking- Oh, right, because Kevin’s so honest. Yes, especially having a good, clean match. Good competition, show off some technical prowess. But also that side, that nutso, vicious side. That side shouldn’t come out. Kevin is just hoping for them having a good, clean match. Kevin also has an announcement to make, so see you then. Good talk. Kevin and his tie hurries off, but will Priest keep Damian from tearing into the Prizefighter?
Kevin heads to the ring!
The KO Show is back, and tonight’s guest is Seth Freakin’ Rollins! What will Kevin ask his new best buddy? We find out, after the break.
Raw returns and Kevin welcomes us to his show. He wishes he could say it’s good to be here in Tulsa, but that would be a vile lie because this place is brutal. Don’t get mad at him telling the truth! And another truth is that Kevin has a very special guest. He is a man Kevin is proud to call his best friend, and after this man beats Roman Reigns at the Royal Rumble like he has in a plethora of matches before, he will be called the Universal Champion. Please welcome Seth! FRRRRREAKIN’! ROLLINS~! Rollins makes his way out to the ring, fired up as always, but especially now after having evaded a Bloodline beatdown on SmackDown last Friday.
Rollins takes up a mic and Kevin lets Rollins decide if they sit or stand. Rollins wants to stand, so he and Kevin kick the chairs aside. Kevin thanks Rollins for accepting his invitation to be a guest. Kevin wants to tell Rollins that he admires Rollins so much. There is so much Kevin admires about Rollins. From the great suits, like this striped one. He looks like a million bucks! MAHVELOUS! And even more so, Kevin admires Rollins’ courage. Do people realize how much guts it took for Rollins to show up on SmackDown, into the lion’s den, get face to face with Roman, and berate him into realizing that “The Head of the Table” is only possible because Rollins set the table.
“Yes, yes, yes! Kev, you hit the nail on the head right there!” Friday got a little testy, but the truth is, Roman’s rattled. Roman’s nervous, and dare Rollins say, Roman is scared. He’s scared! You heard it here first! Roman took the low road taking shots at Rollins’ family, sending the Usos after him. But everyone saw that the Usos couldn’t get the job done. Rollins says Roman is playing checkers while Rollins is playing chess! If Roman keeps this up, winning at the Rumble will be like taking candy from a baby. A little baby Roman! And Rollins will turn the title from blue to red and bring the Universal Championship back to their show, Monday Night Raw!
That’s huge! When Rollins wins, he’s staying on Raw with Kevin! Yes, 100%! Incredible! Then that means Raw has the best champion! Raw wouldn’t need Lesnar or Lashley, they’d have Rollins! Kevin again hits the nail on the head. Get rid of Lesnar. Rollins has a match with Lashley tonight, they can get rid of Lashley tonight! Who knows? Kevin likes the sound of that. But he has something of his own to announce and it is “earth shattering.” It will change the face of the industry! Right here and now, Kevin is officially declaring for the Royal Rumble! Rollins says that IS earth shattering!
Kevin will win the Rumble, Rollins will beat Roman, and the WWE Universe will get the match they… well, not deserve. But they’ll get the biggest Mania main-event ever! SETH FREAKIN’ ROLLINS VS KEVIN FREAKIN’ OWENS! Rollins likes where Kevin’s head is at. But here comes Damian Priest! Rollins says this is his time and Kevin’s show! If Priest steps any closer, Kevin will kick his ass! Kevin wants Rollins to stop but Priest tells Rollins to shut up! They’re both delusional idiots! There is not one person on this planet that believes Rollins will win at the Rumble. And Kevin is just a liar, so he isn’t winning, either.
And if Kevin doesn’t want to see Damian, then don’t wake him up. Oh and by the way, Priest talked with Pearce and Sonya. Their match tonight? That starts NOW! Kevin is freaking out, but Rollins tries to encourage him. Will it not matter when the Archer of Infamy takes aim?
In the animal kingdom, the lion bides its time as it hunts its prey. Step by step, until it finally strikes, leaving only scraps for the hyenas. When will the Million Dollar Arm finally strike?
Damian Priest VS Kevin Owens!
Raw returns and the bell rings. They tie up, Kevin waistlocks, but Priest pries free to wrench to a wristlock. Kevin rolls, headlocks, but Priest uses a chinbar to push Kevin back and power out. Kevin rams Priest, but then Kevin apologizes, Things speed up, Priest runs Kevin over with a shoulder! Priest runs in at the corner, but Kevin puts him on the apron! Kevin elbows Priest away, but Priest ROUNDHOUSES back! Priest steps in but into a SHOTGUN! Kevin stomps Priest at the ropes, lets off as the ref counts, then drags Priest to center for a SENTON! Kevin wraps on a chinlock and leans on Priest but fans rally up.
Priest fights up, priest the hold open but Kevin CLUBS him on the back. Kevin CHOPS, whips, but Priest reverses. Kevin KCISK back, CHOPS again, and CHOPS! Priest snarls, but Kevin apologizes again. This is just good, clean wrestling! Priest cools off, but then he fires off fast hands! WHEEL KICK! Kevin goes to a corner, Priest runs in but Kevin bails out. Fans boo, Priest keeps cool, but then Priest goes out the side. Priest runs in around the way, leaps off the steps, into a SUPERKICK! Kevin gets back in the ring to refresh the count, then FROG SPLASHES off the apron! Kevin roars while Priest sputters! Kevin drags Priest up and in as Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Priest CLOBBERS Kevin! Fans fire up as Priest aims from a corner, and Priest throws haymakers! Priest fires off KICK after KICK, then a ROLLING ELBOW! Kevin rebounds, into a FLAPJACK! Priest runs at Kevin in the corner, for a big back elbow! Priest reels Kevin in, but Kevin wrenches out to ROCK Priest! Kevin whips, Priest rebounds to LARIAT! Priest gets Kevin up for the BROKEN ARROW! Cover, TWO! Priest is annoyed but he drags Kevin up. Priest ROCKS Kevin with a right, hoists him up top in the corner and ROCKS him again! Priest climbs up, but Kevin hits back!
Priest and Kevin brawl, Priest gets the edge. Priest brings Kevin up, but Kevin blocks the superplex! Kevin throws body shots, and even a headbutt! Kevin headbutts again, Priest falls down! Kevin adjusts, SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives and Kevin thinks of what he has to do now. Kevin aims, kicks but no stunner! Kevin ducks the heel kick, tries gain, but Priest dragon sleepers! But Kevin slips free to pop Priest up, SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Priest survives again and Kevin is shocked! Fans rally up, Kevin aims, kicks, but Priest blocks to spin and ROUNDHOUSE! Kevin wobbles into a choke grip, SOUTH OF HEAVEN CHOKE SLAM! Cover, TWO!!
Priest is shocked that Kevin survives! Kevin rolls away to a corner but Priest follows. Priest throws hands, whips Kevin corner to corner, but Kevin falls, clutching his leg. The ref checks on Kevin, Kevin flounders up saying it’s cramping up. The ref wants a medic to check this, fans boo but Priest isn’t sure what to make of this. But then Kevin suckers him in for a STUNNER!! Cover, Kevin wins!
Winner: Kevin Owens, by pinfall
Priest was right about Kevin being a liar! But now, Kevin could also be a contender! Will Kevin add the US Championship to his Road to WrestleMania?
Backstage interview with Nikki A.S.H.
What is her plan heading into tonight’s match with former tag partner, Rhea Ripley? Nikki tells Sarah that this is no different than any other match. It is clear to Nikki now that she stands on her own, and she couldn’t feel any better. Rhea should be down and out, completely mortified after being proven the friend Nikki didn’t think she was. But Nikki, you were the one who attacked Rhea- Sarah, you need to get your facts straight! Rhea is the one who broke up the team. Rhea is the one who decided to take their friendship and flush it! She is the villain, not Nikki! And Nikki is the closest thing that the people of Tulsa will ever have to a real hero. She will be the People’s Hero.
And sometimes, heroes have to do things that regular people don’t understand. After tonight, Rhea will realize that she needs a superhero, whether she likes it or not. Nikki strikes her superhero pose and walks away, but will Rhea’s brutality smack some sense into her?
The Alpha Academy heads to the ring.
Pomp & Circumstance plays because today is Otis’ graduation! Will the NEW Raw Tag Team Champions be celebrating on top of their big title victory from last week?
Raw returns and Gable is at the podium. “Greetings and salutations my fellow colleagues and… Oh who am I kidding? I don’t have any colleagues here, considering I’m an Olympian with a Master’s Degree that did it with an immaculate 4.0 GPA! Thank you! Don’t do that. Don’t boo education. That’s gross, everybody.” But it makes sense, since the odds of anyone in Oklahoma having a Master’s, let alone graduating high school, are slim to none! Now shoosh! Tonight is about celebrating. Not just an institution but an individual. Gable could go on and on about himself, because his list is long.
But tonight is about a man who overcame the odds. An absolute tree trunk in the ring and a great student in the classroom. Gable’s prized pupil, his protégé, his number one guy, OTIS! Gable’s so proud. Last week, Otis applied the lessons and passed his final exam by decimating the moronic RKBRO and claimed the Academy’s rightful spot as tag team champions! So tonight, it is Gable’s honor and pleasure- Fans chant with “RKBRO! RKBRO!” They’re trying to have a ceremony for Otis! Gable presents to Otis, who has no last name anymore, the highest graduating honors from the Alpha Academy! The music plays again as they hug it out.
Gable says Otis has the floor. Look at that face! Otis thanks Chad, and says Gable has helped him reach his full potential. But now he has a warning: expect pure carnage for anyone who messes with the titles! They ain’t stopping, and they ain’t ever gonna stop! But here comes Matt Riddle! The Bro is in his own graduation gown, but it has mismatched sleeves… Riddle asks, “What’s up, bros? Big O, you’re looking pretty, pretty tight. And you guys don’t even wanna know what I had to get this graduation gown on time.” But when he got invited to this ceremony, he knew he had to make a very special speech.
Riddle brings out his speech, written on a napkin from this morning’s breakfast buffet. “Fellow graduates and Tulsinians. IT felt like just last week, Randy and I were the WWE Raw Tag Team Champions. We were livin’ on the edge, drivin’ with the top down, lettin’ the wind blow through our hair. We were just a couple o’ young, wild stallions runnin’ free. But today is graduation day. And our lives will change forever. Randy would always say, ‘Life comes at ya pretty fast.'” Gable stops him there, he has no idea what he’s going on about. Riddle was NOT invited to this. And Oklahoma can’t afford to lose another braincell, so just be on your way.
Riddle has “Gablestiltskin” take it easy. Riddle wants to say how proud he is of them. Them and their astronomical necks. See? He can use big words, too, Chad! Gable says Riddle is an idiot. He already ruined Otis’ night, so get to the point. RKBRO wants a rematch? Problem is, Riddle probably can’t even define the word rematch. Riddle so can! A rematch is… uh… when you have to light something up twice! Like a candle! But hey, a rematch sounds like a pretty sick idea. Fans wanna see it! Gable knew it. No wonder Orton left Riddle high and dry. Where even is he? Riddle unzips his gown to show off his “Hey Raaaandy” shirt.
Gable and Otis will give them a rematch, under one condition: they have to prove their mental aptitude in an Alpha Academy Academic Challenge! Otis suddenly looks worried. TO spell it out, it’s Riddle & Randy VS the Academy to prove the smarter team! Because we already saw who the physically dominant team is! Whoa, an academic challenge? Like Billy Madison? Or more like Wheel of Fortune? Riddle loves spinning that wheel, and maybe he and Otis could run in a giant hamster wheel. Gable kinda looks like a jacked hamster, but with three times the brains. Otis is furious and throws off his gown! Riddle wants Otis to back it up and cool off.
Otis storms up the ramp, barking about this being his night! But Orton gets in the ring to RKO Gable!! And then Riddle trips up Otis on the apron! RKBRO got one over on the Academy, and now Orton wears one of the red graduation gowns! Orton gets the mic to then tell the Academy, “We accept!” Will Riddle & Orton get PhDs in kicking the Academy’s asses?
Austin Theory visits Vince McMahon.
Theory thanks Vince for the rematch with Finn Balor. But uh, what’s Vince watching on his TV? It was the previous match, where Finn won. Oh… Theory knows he lost, but then he beat the hell outta Finn and nearly ended his career. In fact, it was like a half victory. No such thing. So tonight, Theory needs to beat Finn and beat him up. If Theory doesn’t, Vince will get someone to drag Theory to this office and Vince will beat Theory up! Smash him all over, and by the time he’s finished, it’ll just be blood, snot and broken teeth. Then Vince will take a selfie with that. And send it to Mama Theory! Oh… Theory has been warned, will he make good on this rematch?
WWE honors Martin Luther King Jr.
“Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. That all men would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” That dream of MLK’s, where we judge not by the color of skin but by character, is still alive. We will all reach the Promised Land together.
Finn Balor VS Austin Theory!
Raw returns and Theory makes his entrance. The Prince is back after being out a month, will he make Theory pay for every minute he’s missed? The bell rings, they circle and tie up, and Theory puts Finn on ropes. The ref counts, Theory lets off but Finn blocks the cheap shot to kick and headlock! Finn thrashes to grind Theory down, Theory powers out but Finn ducks and dodges, only for Theory to CLOBBER him with an elbow! Theory drags Finn out of the ring to smack off the apron! And then whip him into barriers! Theory goes into the ring and the ring count climbs. Finn stands but Theory goes out after him.
Theory whips, Finn reverses, and Theory hits barriers! Finn then hits a SLINGBLADE! Theory writhes, the count is rising, and Raw goes to break.
Raw returns and Finn rallies, trips and DOUBLE STOMPS Theory down! Theory goes to a corner, Finn runs in and CHOPS! Finn whips Theory corner to corner, Theory reverse but Finn reverses back, ELBOW DROP DDT! Cover, TWO! Finn snarls, Theory crawl to ropes and Finn KICKS him out of the ring! Finn drags Theory up but Theory HOTSHOTS! Theory somersaults in, but into a SLINGBLADE! Finn then runs, into a LARIAT from Theory! Theory hauls Finn up to FLAPJACK HOTSHOT! Fireman’s carry, A T- NO! Finn makes it a roll up, TWO! Theory and Finn get up, and Finn goes to the apron. Finn shoulders into Theory, GAMANGIRIS, then climbs up!
But Theory avoids the Coup De Grace to somersault SHOTGUN! Fireman’s carry, A T L!! Cover, Theory wins!
Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall
Theory saves himself from Vince’s wrath, and he gets his victory selfie. But to make good on what Vince told him, Theory fires off fists! Theory then drags Finn up, fireman’s carries again, for another A T L! Theory tells Finn to expect the unexpected. But will Finn find a way to teach Theory and Mr. McMahon respect for The Prince?
Nikki A.S.H. VS Rhea Ripley!
Before the match, Rhea is interviewed backstage. How does she respond to Nikki saying it was Rhea who ruined the relationship? Rhea says she never intended for this to hurt their friendship. But Nikki made up her mind. Rhea isn’t one to forgive very easily, so what kind of hero attacks a friend? If Rhea’s the villain here, than Nikki’s more delirious than Rhea thought. It’s time to remind everyone who Rhea Ripley is. Is Nikki in for a Nightmare tonight?
Raw returns and Nikki makes her entrance, but then so do Queen Zelina Vega and Carmella. Mella says, “Hear ye, hear ye, Tulsa. The Most Beautiful Woman in All of WWE and Your Queen have arrived to tell everyone in this dusty arena that everything we predicted about Nikki A.S.H. has come true.” Zelina’s word is absolute, and therefore she is correct by default. Not only is she a beloved queen, but also a fairy godmother. Rhea would never have been rid of Nikki without their little push. Rhea should be thanking them! Because they’ve been telling Rhea for weeks that if she stuck with an Almost Superhero, she’d never be nothing more than an almost threat.
But seems things are too late. Rhea doesn’t look like anything more than a low class loser. Without Nikki as her security blanket, does Rhea have what it takes? As Zelina’s said, you’re either the most powerful women in the room, or you’re nothing. Zelina is queen, but Rhea will be standing there, covered in trash, looking for someone to leech off of. Rhea doesn’t have the guts to be champion all on her own. Rhea tells them to bring it, then, but Nikki goes after Rhea! The ref wants Nikki to let off, but Nikki keeps hammering Rhea down! Rhea hits back but Nikki throws Rhea down! Nikki is seething, and then she drags Rhea up. Rhea kicks Nikki away but Nikki throws her out!
Nikki WRECKS Rhea with a dropkick, then goes out to RAM her into steel steps! The Almost Superhero leaves Rhea down, but the match is called off. Will Rhea get right? Or will she get revenge?
Dana Brooke and Reggie regroup backstage.
What did they talk about? Staying low and staying mobile. That’s right! Reggie is faster, stronger and amazing! Use Omos’ size against him, tire him out, and go for the legs. Meanwhile, R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Tamina, and a referee are watching while eating popcorn. Dana says Reggie can be vicious and ruthless while also super athletic. Reggie says, “Who am I kidding?” He ran into Omos full speed and bounced off him! Dana says Reggie is the most capable man she knows. Just stay away from him. But even Dana looks worried. Truth says Dana must really hate Reggie. She just told him to get got! Will Reggie even survive his run-in with Omos?
Reggie w/ Dana Brooke VS Omos!
Raw returns and Reggie makes his entrance. Dana is cheering him on, but she still looks very worried. Omos points out the clear height difference, and then he roars! Even that scares Reggie! But then here come the 24/7 Championship hunters! Dana runs into the ring, scoots under Omos and out the other side. Omos catches Tozawa, TOSSES him out, then CLOBBERS Truth! Tamina stares Omos down and Reggie climbs the corner. Tamina goes around Omos, the bell rings, and Reggie leaps! Into Omos’ arms! Omos uses both hands for the MOUNTAIN TOSS! Omos says it’s that easy. Cover, Omos wins.
Winner: Omos, by pinfall
Omos didn’t break a sweat with that one! Will the colossus of Raw continue to dominate until he’s on top of the world?
Maryse heads to the ring!
As her note said, she is here to talk with Beth face-to-face. But will that all this be? Or do Miz & Mrs. have a plan for the Glamazon? We find out, after the break.
Raw returns and Maryse has a mic to say, “Bonsoir (good evening), Tulsa.” She assures us The Miz couldn’t make it. He has a very big mouth and likes to agree to things without asking her first, so tonight, she is cleaning up his mess. She then asks Beth to come out alone so they can do this right. Woman to woman, wife to wife and mother to mother, Maryse wants to talk. Beth makes her entrance, but Edge still follows her out. Maryse wants Edge to wait on the ramp until they’ve had this conversation. There aren’t many ways to put this, but the match at the Rumble, it has to be canceled. Uh, okay. This oughta be good, so Beth is all ears.
Maryse says she doesn’t want it, surely Beth doesn’t want it, and the fans don’t want it! Fans boo, they DO want it. Maryse is trying to have a heartfelt moment, guys. Really? Really? Really? Maryse is sure sounding like Miz here… Maryse says she has the mic, so she can be louder than everyone here. It doesn’t matter what you think! Now she’s The Rock? But anyway, Maryse wants Beth to listen. They’re from the same generation in WWE. They fought together. Remember those two minute matches? Fans chant, “You Suck!” but Maryse asks if they’re done.
But Beth, c’mon. They fought together and made the Women’s Division what it is today! They’re great at what they do! Just look at them! Women nowadays main event WrestleMania thanks to these two! So if anything, Maryse thinks that they should be on the same team. They should be a unit! Friends! Even their daughters can be friends! They can have play dates, dinners, or even just a coffee. Beth wants Maryse to know that she speaks for everyone here when she says, “Just shut up!” Seriously? BFF’s? Playdates? Is anyone buying this? NOPE! So that means Maryse takes acting lessons from The Miz.
Beth boils it down to a simple answer: the match is NOT off. Beth is NOT missing the chance to tag team with her husband for the first time ever. And she is NOT missing the chance to Glam Slam Maryse’s ass through the canvas! In fact, why not give the fans a preview? Beth storms up to the ring but Maryse stays put. Wait, Miz attacks Edge at the ramp! But Edge DECKS Miz! Maryse really was lying about Miz being at home! But then Maryse CLOBBERS Beth with her purse! What’s in that bag?! Maryse and Miz decide to show us: it was a BRICK! A literal BRICK! Maryse tosses her hair back and celebrates with The Miz. But will Edge and Beth only look to break The It Couple for that one?
The Street Profits are fired up backstage!
Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford have a dream! The dream is that they have a plan and will execute it and win! The best part is, they do it in Tulsa, Oklahoma~! YESSIR! All the bodies in the ring, it’ll be like a mini Rumble. Which is great cuz the Profits were the first to declare for this year’s Rumble! Their first one, tossin’ bodies! But will Ford throw Dawkins? Rey Mysterio & Dom walk over to say not to worry. They’re a team tonight, and they’ll also be in the Rumble. Rey has to get this off his chest: Los Mysterios will outlast 28 other men in the Rumble. And then, not only will they throw those guys out, they’ll take the Mysterio name back to the Mania main event!
Okay, all due respect, that’s only if the Profits don’t make it there first. Because the Profits are up! And WE WANT THE SMOKE! Will these four burn it down to then light it up on the Road to WrestleMania?
8 Man Tag: The Street Profits & The Mysterios VS Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez & The Dirty Dawgs!
Raw returns and the Dawgs make their entrance. Then the Pride of Nigeria and his right hand man make their entrance. Teams sort out, Dolph Ziggler starts against Dom. They tie up, Dom waistlocks but Ziggler elbows free. Ziggler talks trash, runs, but Dom follows to RANA! Dom runs at Ziggler in the corner but Ziggler CLOBBERS Dom! Tag to Robert Roode and he stomps Dom. Roode drags Dom up, suplexes, but Dom knees free! Dom kicks low, tags Rey, and Rey gets a boost to RANA! Rey whips, Roode reverses but Rey dodges and tilt-o-whirl headscissors! Rey runs in but Roode puts him on the apron. Rey DECKS Roode, climbs, and leaps, but the rana is blocked
Roode brings Rey up, but Rey RANAS Roode out of the ring! Ziggler and Dom get in, Dom whips but Ziggler throws Dom up and out! Ford and Dawkins DROPKCIK Ziggler out! All eight men are on the outside now and shouting, but the ref keeps the peace while Raw goes to break!
Raw returns, Roode tags Ziggler and the Dawgs double whip Rey to double elbow him down. Then the Dawgs hit Rey’s corner to knock everyone down! Fans boo but Ziggler drags Rey over to tag Apollo. Apollo hits a STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Ziggler is upset on Apollo’s behalf, but Apollo decides he’ll finish it now. Apollo gets Rey up, trophy lifts, but Rey fights free to a DDT! Both men are down and fans fire up! Rey crawls, Dawks is back! Hot tag to the Curse of Greatness! And he rallies on everyone! He hurdles Apollo to hit a FLYING BACK ELBOW! Roode runs into an EXPLODER! Ziggler runs into an EXPLODER!
Dawkins gives Apollo a CYCLONE SPLASH, then the SILENCER! But Azeez gets in to break the cover! Ford returns to ENZIGURI Azeez out! The Dawgs TOSS Ford out! But the Mysterios dropkick the Dawgs onto the ropes! STEREO 619’s! Dom goes up and out to LEAP at Azeez! But Azeez catches him! Rey jumps to add on, the Mysterios take out Azeez! But Apollo rolls Dawkins up! TWO, and pop-up for SKY HIGH! Tag to Ford, he’s up top! FROM THE HEAVENS!! Cover, the Profits & Mysterios win!
Winners: The Street Profits & The Mysterios, by pinfall
Ford was five-star again with that splash, but then the Mysterios decide to dump the Profits out! Rey says that’s nothing personal, just a sample of the Rumble. And then he dumps Dom out! The son’s got a lot to learn still. But will Dom & Rey look to be in that final handful at the Rumble to put their name back on the WrestleMania marquee?
WWE looks at the parallels of Lashley and Lesnar.
“Forge: to form by heating and hammering; to beat into shape.” Great warriors are born at the forge, shaped by the heat of the fire and tried in the brutality of combat. This is the beginning of two such warriors. “The great plains often invoke idyllic dreams of an unending cascades of crops and green pastures. But in winter, these dreams are overtaken by the harsh reality of desolation and decay. It is here that the heart of a Beast was forged, and a Conqueror was born.” Brock Lesnar is a two-time NCAA All American with over 100 victories, and the NCAA Division I Heavyweight Champion. And just five months after his WWE debut, The Next Big Thing was WWE Champion.
After ravaging every challenger in the WWE, the Beast would go to the UFC, and in just three fights, he’d reign supreme as the UFC Heavyweight Champion. Then upon returning to the WWE, Lesnar’s path of devastation continued. He took 16-time WWE Champion John Cena to Suplex City, ended The Undertaker’s WrestleMania undefeated streak, and cemented his dominance as a three-time Universal and six-time World Champion. He is a Beast without limits, without remorse, and without fear.
“Discipline. Restraint. Control. It is from these fires that the All Mighty was forged. Son of a US Army drill sergeant, Bobby Lashley learned at an early age that only by rigorously harnessing his natural ability that he would the greatness that he sought.” A three-time NAIA wrestling champion, Lashley would follow his father’s footsteps into the Army, and he honed his craft onto his way to winning gold in the Armed Forces Championship. Lashley would emerge in WWE as a peak physical specimen, unleashing a torrent of physical power and ferocity. But while he won gold, Lashley couldn’t quite find that next level.
A sojourn into MMA ignited the fires and Lashley had a 15-2 record. Then he’d return to the WWE and he would unleash havoc on opponent after opponent with his arsenal of high impact moves, headlined by the Hurt Lock full nelson. He would become United States Champion, Intercontinental Champion, and ultimately, WWE World Champion. Now, Lashley is ready for the one challenge that eluded him. For 20 years, Lashley believes Lesnar was ducking him. But Lesnar is confident that if they’d met before, Lesnar would’ve already beaten him. But the Royal Rumble will see the champion Beast collide with an All Mighty challenger.
These paths have finally crossed. Two warriors, forged in flame, battle and gold, fight for the ultimate prize. Only one emerges THE WWE World Champion. Will the ring even stay standing as these wage war?
The Miz & Maryse are heading out.
Kevin Patrick stops them to ask about that vicious attack. Miz says it took ONE SHOT to take down the Glamazon! Now Beth needs medical attention! Now the Grit Couple is the SH- Maryse stops Miz there. The girls are watching at home. Oh, right. Daddy loves ya, girls! And Miz loves Mommy. He is the best husband ever, because he remembered that Maryse’s birthday is next week! So before saying bonny nut- No, no, it’s bonne nuit. The T is silent. Right, bonne nuit to the Grit Couple, Miz is going to throw the most expensive, extravagant and amazing birthday party that anyone has ever seen, because Miz loves Maryse.
Nothing, especially not Edge & Beth, is stronger than their love. These two make-out right in front of us… But will announcing the birthday party here come back to bite the It Couple?
Alexa Bliss has another therapy session.
She and her therapist sit quietly a moment before he welcomes her back. He’s happy to say that there are less breakable things here in the office. She isn’t sure about that. But these sessions will continue. He will not tolerate a repeat of last week, though. He does apologize for showing her such a sensitive subject, but he had to know where she stood psychological. He promises her that she will be on the road to recovery. Neat. Now, let’s do word association. Okay, sure. How does she feel about the word, “Trust.” “Lily.” Friend? Lily. Home? Lily. Doll… Lily. Imaginary. Alexa gets up out of her seat and glares at him. Okay, time’s up.
The doc bolts but Alexa cools off. She sits back down, looks around the room, but stays quiet. Will Alexa ever get over her twistedly tragic past?
Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Seth Rollins!
The Rocky Mountain Machine is ready to wreck everything, including Brock Lesnar. Meanwhile, The Visionary is preparing to repeat history and defeat Roman Reigns once again. But who will have some major momentum on their side going towards those titanic title matches? The main event of top championship challengers begins after the break!
Raw returns and Rollins makes his entrance. The bell rings and Lashley glares while Rollins smirks. The two circle, fans rally up, and the two tie up. Rollins headlocks, Lashley powers up to power out, but Rollins duck sand dodges. Lashley hurdles then runs Rollins over! Fans cheer as Lashley mocks Rollins’ pose. The two reset, circle and tie up again. Rollins waistlocks, Lashley uses ropes to buck Rollins away, but Rollins hurdles and drops to then go perpendicular, SLINGBLADE! Rollins kicks, reels Lashley in, but Lashley back drops free! Lashley stalks Rollins, but Rollins fights the full nelson! Rollins drops to KICK Lashley, then he dumps Lashley out!
Rollins builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit but Lashley stays up! Rollins goes back in, builds speed again, DIVES, but into a clinch! OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Lashley roars and Rollins flounders while Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Rollins has Lashley down now! Rollins drags Lashley to a corner to SLAM a leg against the post! Rollins SLAMS the leg again, talks trash to MVP, then gets in as the ring count reaches 5 of 10. Rollins drags Lashley up, puts the bad leg in the ropes, pulls until the ref counts, then dropkicks the leg! Lashley falls, Rollins drags him to center and steps through to drop a leg on the knee! Lashley snarls and fans rally up. MVP coaches Lashley, but Rollins drops another leg on the bad knee! And then another! Rollins has the toehold, ties up the legs, but Lashley fights, only for Rollins to still get the Indian Deathlock!
Rollins keeps Lashley’s hands away while Lashley endures the hold. Rollins SLAPS Lashley in the side, but Lashley pulls hair! The ref reprimands, Lashley lets go but he punches Rollins! Rollins lets the legs free, but then he gets the bad one for a DRAGON SCREW! And into a HALF CRAB! Lashley endures, even as Rollins sits deep! Lashley powers up, fans rally up, and Lashley turns, only for Rollins to stomp the leg! Rollins has the Half Crab again! MVP coaches Lashley more but Rollins talks trash on “Bob.” Lashley fights up, turns things over, and he boots Rollins away! Rollins falls out of the ring but he’s right back in! Lashley avoids the stomp for a COMPLETE SHOT!
MVP says that’s the All Mighty Lashley he knows! Lashley grits his teeth and pushes up, just as Rollins also sits up. Rollins turns around into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And then another! Lashley runs in at the corner, to RAM into Rollins! Lashley turns Rollins around, NECKBREAKER! Lashley fires up and Tulsa fires up with him! Lashley gets Rollins up, suplexes, but Rollins fights free! Lashley kicks low to gut wrench, DOMINATOR! Cover, TWO!! Rollins survives but MVP coaches Lashley to keep going. Lashley aims from a corner, Rollins rises, Lashley runs in, into a KNEE! Rollins hits a ROLLING ELBOW! Then runs, but into a scoop!
Rollins slips out, shoves Lashley into buckles, then kicks low! Rollins underhooks the arms, PEDIGREE!! Cover, TWO!?! Lashley survives but Rollins is too tired to be shocked! Fans rally behind Lashley but Rollins stands. Rollins goes to a corner, climbs up top, but Lashley gets him with a choke grip! Lashley climbs up, but Rollins fights with elbows! But Lashley clinches, for a SUPER BELLY2BELLY!! Rollins goes flying to the other side of the ring! Lashley gets back to a corner but the Hurt Business go after him!!
Winner: Bobby Lashley, by disqualification
Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin mug Lashley but Lashley fights back! That’s still 2v1, and they POST him! Alexander & Benjamin shout that he’s brought this upon himself, and then the POST Lashley again! They glare at MVP but then drag Lashley back up. But Lashley DOUBLE SUPLEXES them instead! COMPLETE SHOT for Benjamin! Fireman’s carry and the POST for Alexander! Lashley SPEARS Benjamin through barriers! Rollins is shocked at seeing the carnage, but the USOS run out from the crowd! Rollins turns around, into DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! Jimmy & Jey make up for missing the target on SmackDown!
Rollins lost the match and then got got! Will he stand a chance of dethroning the Head of the Table if the Usos can get him on his show? As for Lashley, will he be able to go for the gold if he has his former henchmen coming after him?
This was a decent episode, but with really glaring low points. Does Vince just hate Women’s Wrestling again? Why is it that the matches tonight were basically filler to move the story along? Nikki VS Rhea being No Contest was whatever since it at least went with story. But that opening tag match had Becky, Piper, Bianca and Liv, all of which are basically the stars of the Raw Women’s Division. Yet Vince couldn’t be bothered to give that match more than a bathroom break amount of time! I suppose because it was Piper ending it all very quickly, we’re supposed to think Piper is that great, but honestly it just hurt all four women. If Bianca was taken out by just a corner splash, how is she to win the Rumble?
Finn VS Theory 2 was also way too short. I get there was a commercial break in the middle but that just makes it worse. Theory winning was clean also a shame, and not because of Vince’s weird threat to him. I get that Theory needed to win to make a feud out of this, but why not dirty it up a little? When is Finn going to get a chance to comment on how Theory is Vince’s pet project and all that? This whole thing is just hurting my brain. And only a little less than the Veer Mahaan videos coming back. He better show up in the Rumble. And this week’s Alexa therapy session was filler. It was just her associating everything with Lily but not even in a more compelling way than last week’s “triggered Alexa” vignette.
We got a good 8 Man Tag but it was also on the short side. It was pretty standard Rumble season stuff for Rey & Dom to dump the Profits out, but Rey dumping Dom was a bit of a surprise. Maybe Dom will do the same during the Rumble on Rey? I did appreciate them weaving three backstage segments into one, going from Reggie wanting advice from Edge but basically striking out, and then Edge talking with Priest and then Priest talking with Kevin. If Dana still has the 24/7 title come the Women’s Rumble, can that title end up hot potato’d around to end up on someone from SmackDown? Or does Fox just hate that title?
Omos of course destroyed Reggie, but I almost thought he was going to somehow end up 24/7 champion. That’d probably put the end to the title, though, because who would even try to take it from him? Kevin had a very good match with Priest, and his win definitely puts him in line for the US Championship, but who knows if Kevin will even go for it with him so closely connected to Rollins in their stories. And we got a good promo segment out of Maryse and Beth. But Maryse bringing up the Diva Era short matches and yet we got a short women’s match here, the irony clearly goes over Vince’s thick head. That brick in the purse, though. And telegraphing the birthday stuff for next week, Maryse’s cake is definitely going into someone’s face.
The Alpha Academy graduation was a pretty good segment. I am sure Riddle was referencing something but I can’t place it. I can’t believe they’re kayfabing that Otis never had the last name “Dozovic.” That’s taking Vince’s love of editing names to a new, dumber level. But I loved the face Otis made when Gable said they were going to have a tag team academic challenge. He’s going to end up the weak link for his team since this graduation was based on his in-ring skills. The Lesnar Lashley vignette was well made, but a rather melodramatic theme in the narration. After the string of short matches, it just felt like WWE trying too hard to be cinematic and not enough about action.
Lashley VS Rollins was great stuff, until the Hurt Business “ruined” things. It just keeps reminding us of how flippant they’ve been with that faction’s story. They work together against Goldberg but then not together against Lesnar, and now the Hurt Business is just being thrown at Lashley in an attempt to build Lashley as brutal and dominant without it being in the matches. The Usos getting the drop on Rollins was pretty good, though, since that carries over from SmackDown. If they’d let it just be the Usos trying to mess with Rollins, I think things would’ve felt a bit better.
My Score: 8/10
Mitchell’s WWE NXT UK Results & Report! (5/26/22)
Heritage rules this rematch!
A-Kid and Charlie Dempsey go another round, in British Rounds!
The inaugural NXT UK Heritage Cup Champion, A-Kid, is looking for payback against Charlie Dempsey, and it’ll be under Heritage Cup Rules! And with Die Familie banned from ringside, will Dempsey be able to win all on his own?
- Mark Coffey VS Saxon Huxley; Coffey wins.
- Emilia McKenzie VS Lash Legend; Lash wins.
- Sha Samuels w/ Noam Dar VS Damon Kemp; Samuels wins.
- Heritage Cup Rules: A-Kid VS Charlie Dempsey; Dempsey wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Mark Coffey VS Saxon Huxley!
The Coffey Brothers couldn’t hold it together, and they not only missed out on the NXT UK Tag Team Championships, but Joe Coffey has gone off to sort himself out. Can this Gallus Boy be on top all on his own? Or will the Divine Beast of the Astral Plane have to tell him, “Better luck next time?”
The bell rings and fans rally as the two tie up. Coffey headlocks, Huxley powers out but Coffey rams shoulders! They tie up again, Coffey headlocks again, but Huxley powers out again. They ram shoulders again, then Coffey gets around to a waistlock. Huxley bucks Coffey but Coffey uppercuts, then arm-drags! Coffey keeps on the arm, wrenches and wristlocks, but Huxley scoops! Coffey slips free, waistlocks, but ducks the elbow to fire off forearms! Coffey whips, Huxley reverses but Coffey ducks and dodges, only to run into a THESZ PRESS! Huxley dribbles Coffey off the mat, then fires up!
Fans rally and duel as Huxley runs and KNEES Coffey against ropes. Huxley whips and KNEES Coffey again, then whips for a kitchen sink knee! Fans rally and Huxley runs to drop an elbow! Cover, TWO! Huxley clamps on with a neck wrench but Coffey endures. Fans duel, Coffey fights up and throws body shots. Coffey throws hands, bobs ‘n’ weaves, ROCKS Huxley then snapmares him. Huxley gets up, LARIATS collide, but Coffey runs again. Another DOUBLE LARIAT, Coffey runs, and he slides under the Thesz Press to pick Huxley up and TOSS him! Fans fire up and both men go to corners.
Huxley fires up, he runs corner to corner but Coffey dodges the elbow! Coffey rallies with forearms and shoulders, ducks and DOUBLE CHOPS Huxley down! Huxley goes to a corner, Coffey uppercuts! Then back elbows! Huxley fights the bulldog but Coffey comes back with a GAMANGIRI! Cover, TWO! Huxley’s still in this but Coffey drags Huxley up. Coffey wrenches, reels Huxley in but Huxley throws elbows to fight off the lift. Huxley BOOTS then TWO HAND CHOKE SLAMS! Cover, TWO! Coffey survives but Huxley drags him back up. Huxley scoops, Coffey slips out and shoves, ducks and ROCKS Huxley with a right!
Coffey hits a BIG back suplex, then he runs to SLIDING ELBOW! Cover, Coffey wins!
Winner: Mark Coffey, by pinfall
The younger brother wins big all on his own! Will he be able to lead the firm back to the top of NXT UK and once again make this Gallus’ Kingdom?
Ivy Nile speaks.
“In two weeks, the Final Boss, Meiko Satomura, is going to find out what the Pitbull of Diamond Mine is all about. I’m a different breed, I’m on a different level. No girl here can stand toe to toe with me. Meiko Satomura is going to find that out. I didn’t travel halfway across the world to not take home the gold. I’m taking this one home to Diamond Mine.” Will the Best in the World feel the pressure when she takes on Ivy for the NXT UK Women’s Championship?
NXT UK hears from Sam Gradwell, and Von Wagner.
The Thunderstorm says, “There he is, Big Von. How’s it goin’, mate? Last time I saw you, you were stamping and shrieking like a unruly chimp. That’s what happens when you grow up to the size of a brontosaurus. You group up with everyone being scared of ya. But there’s not one speck of exaggeration in my eyes or soul when I tell ya I am not scared of Von Wagner.” But Von says it’s obvious Gradwell likes to run his mouth. Gradwell does his talking but Von does damage in the ring. Gradwell’s never faced someone with Von’s size or power. Gradwell admits Von is an impressive fighter, but so is Gradwell. Von’s never faced someone like him, either.
Gradwell says Von looks like he hasn’t gotten any brains since birth. Von’s favorite meal is probably medium-rare Wooly Mammoth, no seasoning. Von says you can tell Gradwell is aggressive, but that won’t stop Von from punching him in the face. Gradwell’s faced big men before, and fighters, brawlers, submission artists, but bloody hell! Tossing Jiro into the crowd!? Von is going to show Gradwell what big business is. This is Wagner’s World, Gradwell’s just living in it. Von’s down watching film, and Gradwell’s ready to put in the work. Will the Thunderstorm be able to wobble Von’s jowls and rattle his kidneys before Von can do the same to him?
Emilia McKenzie VS Lash Legend!
The protégé to Meiko Satomura is just one of many who didn’t like the first impression made by the baller turned wrestler. Nor did she like the second or third impression. But Lash isn’t here to make friends or even get along, she’s here to win. Will #SuplexMillie throw Lash all the way back to the States? Or will Lash prove “Legend” is more than just a name?
The bell rings and they tie right up! Lash laughs as Millie can’t push her back, and then Lash shoves Millie down! Millie comes back, gets around to waistlock, but Lash pries free. Millie headlocks, but Lash blocks the takeover. Lash powers out, runs Millie over, and soaks up the heat. Lash talks trash but Millie throws body shots. Lash knees low, puts Millie in a corner and then TOSSES her across the way! Fans chant, “You Suck!” but Lash ignores them to run at Millie. Millie dodges and fires off forearms! Lash shoves Millie away but Millie dropkicks the leg out! Millie runs, but into a FLAPJACK!
Lash laughs and then looms over Millie. Fans taunt Lash but lash pulls Millie’s hair. The ref counts, Lash pushes Millie down and stomps her around. Millie throws body shots but Lash stomps her again. Lash runs, does her make-up, and drops an elbow! Lash then kips up, and she stands for a cocky cover. ONE, and fans chant “You Still Suck!” Lash tosses her hair, but runs into a BOOT! Millie goes up and leaps, but Lash catches her! Lash dribbles Millie in the ropes! Lash carries Millie around to FALL AWAY SLAM, and stay on her feet! Fans chant “Lash is Trash!” but she stalks Millie to ropes.
Lash whips Millie hard into a corner, then asks where’s the real competition. Millie fires off forearms! Lash knees low, then brings Millie around to whip hard into the corner. Millie staggers into a SPIN-OUT BACK SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Lash drag Millie up, Canadian Rack, and she thrashes Millie around! Millie endures, fights free, and she ROCKS Lash with forearm after forearm! Lash grabs Millie’s hair and scoops her to SLAM her down. Lash drops an elbow but misses as Millie gets up! Millie is in a corner, Lash runs in but Millie dodges, comes back and ROCKS her! Lash stays up but Millie LARIATS again!
Millie keeps moving, ducks and dodges and dropkicks a leg out! Millie keeps moving, BASEMENT UPPERCUT! Fans fire up with Millie and she drags Lash up, SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Lash bails out and wants out, but Millie DIVES on her at the ramp! Millie won’t let Lash bail on her, but Lash shoves her into the apron. Lash gets back in the ring but Millie seethes and pursues! Millie climbs up the corner, Lash stands, and Millie CROSSBODIES! Cover, TWO! Millie snarls and she brings Lash up in a waistlock! Lash fights the lift, but Millie dodges the boot! SPEAR! Cover, TWO!! Lash survives and Millie can’t believe it!
Millie fixes her ponytail and she CLUBS Lash. Lash throws body shots, Millie whips but Lash reverses. Lash run sin but Millie slips away! Millie shoulders in, climbs back up, and handsprings, into a BOOT! Cover, Lash wins!
Winner: Lash Legend, by pinfall
Lash talks more trash, but she did manage to back up her words. Will Lash become the alpha female on both NXT UK and NXT prime?
Mark Andrews has NXT UK Media follow him.
He peeks in on Kenny Williams getting on security’s case, saying their “pea brains” can’t keep up with his evidence. If any of them see the masked men, let him know. When Kenny gets his hands on them, he’ll rip them limb from limb! Andrews spooks Kenny and asks what’s going on. This is serious business! Someone is stalking Kenny! Andrews is on here, too! Well, maybe not worry about that and worry more about their match. Andrews should relax, he might aggravate his shoulder. Andrews says he was out three months with that shoulder because of Kenny! The security has Andrews stay back, and Kenny says see ya later!
Security then asks Kenny to clean up his papers. His conspiracy web can’t be in this room. What? Okay… Will Kenny be able to focus on his career with all this clutter in his mind?
Sha Samuels w/ Noam Dar VS Damon Kemp!
The East End Butcher is back in action, with the Scottish Supernova in his corner. But will having the NXT UK Heritage Cup Champion nearby help his odds of getting through the Diamond Mine’s Golden Gopher? Or will Kemp crush Sha under the pressure?
The bell rings and fans rally as the two circle. They tie up, Sha gets the arm and wrenches for a wristlock. Kemp spins through, slips around, waistlocks and he SLAMS Sha down! Sha fights up, Kemp SLAMS him again! Then SLAMS him again! Kemp floats around, straddles then floats again to gator roll Sha around! Kemp then shifts to a gut wrench and he carries Sha for the suplex! Fans cheer but Dar is frustrated on Sha’s behalf. Kemp whips and scoops Sha to then SLAM him down! Speaking of slam, Dar slams back whatever’s in the flask. Fans fire up for the strength of the gopher, and Kemp gets Sha up with a fireman’s carry. Sha fights free, Kemp counter punches him!
Kemp whips, Sha reverses and LCOBBERS Kemp! Sha runs in, SPLASH in the corner, then he gives the “stupid mug” a LARIAT! Fans echo “EAST~!” for Sha as he covers, TWO! Sha gets the leg, and he uppercuts it! “No pinkie!” “No party!” Sha stomps Dar, rains down elbows, then stands on Kemp before he KICKS him in the back. Cover, TWO! Dar has someone on the phone, he says this is big money! Sha goes to drink from the flask, but it’s empty! Dar hogged it all! Kemp gets Sha’s leg but Sha CLUBS him down. Sha scoops and SLAMS Kemp, then he drops an elbow! And another! Sha goes up the corner, for a BIG ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!
Sha grows frustrated and fans rally up. Sha drags Kemp up, Kemp throws hands! Sha wrenches and WRINGS Kemp’s arm out, then clamps onto the shoulder. Kemp resists, grabs at a leg, but he throws body shots. Kemp ROCKS Sha, and again, then whips. Sha reverses, but Kemp dodges the corner splash! Sha BOOTS Kemp, goes up and leaps, but misses the elbow drop! Fans rally up while both men are down, and Sha staggers up. But Kemp picks the leg and shifts to a fireman’s carry SLAM! Then Kemp gut wrenches and deadlifts Sha for another SLAM! Kemp clinches for an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly!
Sha stagger sup, into another OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Kemp builds speed, clips Sha then CLOBBERS him! Kemp fires up and he drags Sha up, fireman’s carry for a ROLLING SENTON! Kemp still isn’t done, but Dar grabs at him! Sha CLOBBERS Kemp in the distraction, and then whips for a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, Sha wins!
Winner: Sha Samuels, by pinfall
Mr. Supernova 11 tipped the odds in Sha’s favor, and now the East End Butcher has the winner’s purse! But will Kemp find a way to get even with them down the line?
NXT UK looks closer at the Tag Team Championship Triple Threat.
Trent Seven groans about having to sit in this chair and talk about “Ashton & Ollie” again. Ashton Smith points out that he and Oliver Carter fight by a code. A code that Seven no longer has, after he put his feet up on the ropes to keep the pin! Third chance, third time’s the charm! Oliver Carter says they’ll make it rain on Moustache Mountain! But Rohan Raja says that with Moustache Mountain and Smith & Carter too busy worrying about each other, they’ve taken their eyes off Die Familie. Seven says alright, how about we focus on “D Family.” No, it’s Di-e Fa-mi-li-e. Whatever.
But Raja says the record speaks for itself: victory after victory after victory. But Tyler Bate says Die Familie has yet to face anyone on Moustache Mountain’s level. Raja says Bate & Seven might be the pillars of NXT UK, but it is time for those pillars to fall. Teoman says they’re not the bad guys, they’re the good guys! They take care of each other! What about the other teams? Smith says he fights for Carter just as he would his own children. Some day, when his daughter writes a eulogy for him, she’ll say that her father and his tag partner became the NXT UK Tag Team Champions. They’re closer than family.
Bate & Seven say they are also closer than brothers, but Raja says the champions aren’t even on the same page. Seven does say a win is a win and Bate has a smile that says, “Whatever you say.” Raja sees how desperate Seven is not to lose. Teoman says desperate men make mistakes. Seven asks Bate if he’s heard “Dye Family’s” catchphrase. “The eye sees everything.” Well you know what the eye will see after this? Raja says it’ll be Die Familie as champions, Carter says it’ll be the beating Die Familie takes from the Hottest Tag Team Under the Sun, but Seven says the eye will be looking through a telescope, at the peak’s summit, and see Moustache Mountain. The Triple Threat is coming, who defies the odds to be THE NXT UK Tag Team Champions?
Damon Kemp returns backstage.
Wolfgang is there and checks on him. That was tough luck out there. But while Kemp’s wanting to learn the British way of doing things, to beat guys like Sha & Dar, he should learn how to do things the Glasgow way. Kemp nods, and he follows Wolfgang out. Is Gallus going to give the Golden Gopher some special pointers?
Heritage Cup Rules: A-Kid VS Charlie Dempsey!
Speaking of Die Familie, they love using the numbers game, all in the name of supporting each other. But that “support” won’t be around with Sid Scala putting a ringside ban on Teoman & Rohan Raja! Will the Spanish Sensation finally get a fair fight out of the technical prodigy? Or will Dempsey have some real nasty tricks all his own?
The bell rings on round one and the two circle. They tie up, Dempsey throws AK down and has the wristlock, but AK kips up. Dempsey wrenches to a wristlock, throws AK down again and headscissors. AK scuffs Dempsey, kips up but Dempsey holds onto the arm to wrangle him back down. Dempsey headscissors again, AK moves around and turns Dempsey over. AK bridges back, ties up the legs and goes for the arms. Dempsey resists so AK headbutts him in the back! AK has the arms, and he ditches the legs for CATTLE MUTILATION! Dempsey rolls over fast, fights up but AK still has the arms for a motorcycle stretch.
Dempsey powers through to turn things around but AK flips and kangaroo kicks! Dempsey goes to ropes and the two reset. Fans rally, AK and Dempsey feel out a knuckle lock but AK shoots around to waistlocks. Dempsey wrenches out to a hammerlock and he wants the crossface, but AK holds that off. Dempsey uses the hammerlock to wrangle AK down and go for the other arm. AK guards that arm, so Dempsey traps the arm to SNAP LOCK! And another SNAP LOCK! Dempsey then bridges for an inverted cravat! AK endures as we’re under a minute here, but Dempsey floats over and brings AK back up. HALF HATCH SUPLEX! Cover, TWO!
Dempsey keeps on AK with a facelock but AK wrenches free and dropkicks Dempsey down! AK hurries to cover, TWO! AK keeps on Dempsey with a rear mount and wants a sleeper. Dempsey tucks the chin to hold that off. they gator roll again, and Dempsey floats out. Ten seconds, AK trips Dempsey and hooks his legs, rolls him over, EURO CLUTCH, TWO!! And there’s the first round bell!
AK: 0; Dempsey: 0
AK smirks but Dempsey scowls at how close that was. Both men refresh, and the second round begins. Fans rally as the two circle, and they tie up. Dempsey headlocks, AK powers out, Dempsey runs him over! Things speed up, AK hits a BIG hip toss! Cover, TWO! AK waistlocks but Dempsey fights up. AK headlocks, Dempsey fights but AK hits the takeover. AK has the arm, he twists the wrist but Dempsey rolls and kips up. Dempsey fights through to back drop AK and trap the arm. AK kips to get his shoulders up, but Dempsey pushes the arms down with knuckle locks. AK kips up again and gets to his feet, but Dempsey straight arm levers!
Dempsey then throws AK with a knuckle lock plex! Dempsey traps one arm and pulls on AK’s neck! Another knuckle lock cover, TWO as AK kips up. Dempsey tries another straight arm lever, but AK slips out to the SLEEPER! Dempsey slips out and full nelsons but AK breaks free using his leg. AK tilt-o-whirls to a crucifix but Dempsey stays up, so AK goes full sunset flip! Cover, TWO! Dempsey knees low, has the arm, and he RAMS into the shoulder again and again. We’re back under a minute, they knuckle lock and fans rally. AK bridges back, Dempsey jumps on to get the cover, TWO as AK bridges back up!
Dempsey tries again but AK monkey flips him away! They both roll back, now Dempsey monkey flips! They’re both down, TWO! Dempsey has leverage but AK kicks. Dempsey throws knees, but AK reels him into a headlock. Dempsey pries at the hold but we’re under ten seconds again! Dempsey swings AK for a BACKBREAKER! But there’s the bell!
AK: 0; Dempsey: 0
Another case of being saved by the bell, but it was AK who was spared. Dempsey refreshes while AK hobbles over. AK gets his ice and his drink of water, and it’s on to round three! Fans rally as the two circle, AK throws kicks but Dempsey tries big palm strikes. AK rolls to pick the leg, HEEL HOOK! Dempsey fights it with his own HEEL HOOK! Fans fire up for the dueling holds, so AK SLAPS Dempsey! Dempsey SLAPS back! They go back to the heel hooks, but AK’s hurts more! Dempsey hurries to the ROPEBREAK! AK lets go but he kicks Dempsey. Dempsey fires forearms, knees, and CHOP after CHOP!
AK drops to a knee, Dempsey KNEES him down! Cover, TWO! Dempsey runs to CLOBBER AK with a EuroUpper! Cover, TWO! Dempsey clamps on and he drags AK up. Dempsey headlocks, AK pries free and headlocks back. Dempsey powers AK to ropes but AK uses them to flip up and over. Dempsey shoots in for a roll-up but AK just sits on it! TWO, Dempsey tries a sunset flip but AK rolls through to get the legs! AK tries to turn Dempsey but Dempsey throws him away. AK comes back and wheelbarrows, but the cazadora is blocked! Dempsey WHEELBARROW GERMANS! Bridging cover, TWO!!
We’re under a minute again and Dempsey smothers AK with the lateral press and double wristlock! TWO, but Dempsey digs his elbows into AK’s ribs. AK endures, Dempsey gets the leg, INVERTED BOW ‘N’ ARROW!! AK taps, Dempsey gets a fall!
AK: 0; Dempsey: 1
Dempsey lets go, but he’s a bit annoyed AK tapped before he had truly locked it in. AK may have been playing smarter, not harder. They both refresh and now it’s time for round four! Dempsey and AK circle, AK KICKS Dempsey’s leg. And again! Dempsey blocks the next kick, for a DRAGON SCREW! Dempsey holds on, he wants a leg lock but AK kicks at him with his free leg! Dempsey lets go, but he comes back to ROCK AK with a forearm! But AK ROCKS Dempsey! Dempsey EuroUuppers, but AK gives it back! AK wobbles, Dempsey EuroUppers back! Dempsey swings but misses, AK GERMAN SUPLEXES!
AK holds on, he drags Dempsey back up, but Dempsey bucks him at the ropes. AK ducks the back hand to NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO!! Dempsey staggers and fans rally behind AK. AK storms in but into a headbutt. AK CLUBS Dempsey, Dempsey throws a knee. Dempsey whips, AK reverses and CHOPS! Dempsey rebounds but jumps into a REAR NAKED CHOKE!! AK has the body scissors, the sleeper, but Dempsey fights around. AK shifts to a GUILLOTINE! Dempsey powers out to BUTTERFLY NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! But now it’s just a BUTTERFLY CLUTCH!
We’re under a minute, AK endures and slips free! AK waistlocks again, but Dempsey switches! AK switches back! HALF ‘N’ HALF!! Dempsey staggers up and AK DYNAMIC DROPKICKS! AK covers, and ties this up!
AK: 1; Dempsey: 1
And now, going into the fifth, we’re back to square one! Can AK game plan a victory in these last two rounds? AAK rushes in but Dempsey dodges! Only for AK to BOOT him away! AK goes up, CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! AK keeps on Dempsey with a facelock, then a FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Dempsey escapes but there’s still time! AK aims and runs in to KICK! Dempsey sits up, AK KICKS him again! Cover, TWO, but ARMBAR! Dempsey scrambles to clasps hands and he makes it a stack, only for AK to make it a TRIANGLE HOLD! Dempsey tries to get the shoulders down but AK kicks him away.
Dempsey rebounds and swings, but AK slips around! Dempsey fights the takedown, deadlifts AK, and POWERBOMBS AK down! Cover, TWO!! AK survives and fans fire up behind him! A standing count starts, both men stir at about 3, but Dempsey is rising at 4. Dempsey flops back down., AK slips around to get a sleeper! We’re under a minute, AK squeezes tight and Dempsey is turning red! AK lets go to PENALTY KICK! But the clock is ticking as both men have to catch their breath. Dempsey gets to ropes, AK ROUNDHOUSES him! AK knuckle locks and BENDS the fingers! He brings Dempsey down for the cover, TWO as Dempsey bridges!
Dempsey still has power as he stands up from the bridge! AK is shocked but he reels Dempsey in. Dempsey holds off the monkey flip and we’re at 10 seconds. Dempsey brings AK up but AK jumps right to the ropes! MOONSAULT DDT!!! But AK crawls to the cover, the bell saves Dempsey!!
AK: 1; Dempsey: 1
So close and yet so far, but there’s still the sixth round! Will this end in regulation or need to go into overtime? The bell rings, and AK runs corner to corner! DROPKICK!! Direct hit and Dempsey is down! AK stalks Dempsey to roes, HALF ‘N’ HALF! AK has the fans rallying behind him and he gets Dempsey again. Dempsey clings to ropes, throws elbows but AK throw body shots! ANOTHER HALF ‘N’ HALF! Dempsey flounders, “This is Awesome!” but Dempsey grabs his towel. AK grabs Dempsey, GERMAN SUPLEX! Dempsey flounders, the ref has to take the towel away. Wait, Dempsey brings out something from inside his trunks?!
Dempsey tosses the thing to AK! They’re brass knuckles!! Dempsey plays like AK was threatening him with those!! The ref sees those, takes them away, but a SUCKER PUNCH from Dempsey! Then FISHERMAN BACK SUPLEX! Dempsey wins!!
Winner: Charlie Dempsey, by pinfall
One minute and 34 seconds left in round six, and Dempsey shouts out his true heritage with this win! But has Dempsey proven what lows he’ll go to in order to rise up the ranks in NXT UK?
A great episode for NXT UK, with a lot of good set-up for the big title matches coming up. Good little promo from Ivy Nile to hype up her taking on Meiko Satomura, but I don’t see Ivy taking the title from the Final Boss and bringing it to the US. Great promo vignette for the NXT UK Tag Team Championship Triple Threat, though the promo skills are mostly with Moustache Mountain and Smith & Carter. The match will still be great, and this could be how Bate & Seven lose the belts without taking the pin. At a certain point, I feel like Bate & Seven are going to NXT 2.0, and maybe even to RawDown. I can only hope British Strong Style reunites on SmackDown and that helps “Butch” Pete Dunne ditch Sheamus & Ridge Holland.
We also got good promos to set up the grudge matches. Andrews finding Kenny was a good promo, and you can bet the “masked bozo,” Tiger Turan will show himself during that. Gradwell and Wagner each watching highlights of the other man was a good promo idea, and Wagner actually sounded better here than his usual promos. Though at the same time, this was easy enough material: Von’s big, he beats people up, he’ll beat Gradwell up. Given that, pretty sure Gradwell gives Von one of his toughest matches since Von got himself into that Fatal 4 Way at the start of 2.0.
Very good opener out of Mark Coffey VS Saxon Huxley, and Coffey wins as a point of showing he can do things on his own. This will definitely motivate Joe Coffey to return and get in Mark’s face about thinking he’s better or something like that. Millie VS Lash was good, and I should’ve figured Lash would win. Though Lash lost in the Women’s Breakout Tournament, she’s still being built up. And at the same time, Millie is still building up on the slow burn towards her eventual title match with Meiko Satomura. Sha VS Kemp was very good, but I was rather surprised Sha got the win given the trend with the NXT 2.0 visitors. But Kemp getting help from Gallus is an interesting twist. Kemp and Wolfgang teaming up against Sha & Dar would be pretty cool.
A-Kid VS Dempsey in the Heritage Cup Rules match was a great main event. As usual with these kinds of matches, they push things to the late rounds, but this time, they were able to really bring up the drama with how close each round was when they ended. But to think, Dempsey would shout out William Regal with those brass knuckles. Dempsey gets a great win here, even though a Heel, and could move up towards the Heritage Cup Championship itself. Dar VS Dempsey would be a great one, and it won’t even matter who is Heel, Sha and Die Familie could cancel out.
My Score: 8.4/10
Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (5/25/22)
Happy Anniversary, AEW!
It’s the three-year anniversary of All Elite Wrestling!
And with Double or Nothing this Sunday, Hangman Adam Page and CM Punk have one last face-to-face! Will they keep it civil? Or will they start throwing hands before their AEW World Championship match?
- Steel Cage, MJF as Special Guest Referee: Wardlow VS Shawn Spears; Wardlow wins and will face MJF at Double or Nothing.
- Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston VS Private Party; Moxley & Kingston win.
- ROH World Tag Team Championships: FTR VS Roppongi Vice; FTR wins, by disqualification, and are still ROH World Tag Team Champions.
- Triple Threat: Jungle Boy VS Ricky Starks VS Swerve Strickland; Swerve wins.
- Owen Hart Foundation Women’s Tournament Opening Round: Britt Baker VS Toni Storm; Baker wins and advances to the finals.
- Owen Hart Foundation Men’s Tournament Semifinals: Samoa Joe VS Kyle O’Reilly; Joe wins and advances to the finals.
PLAY BY PLAY
Steel Cage, MJF as Special Guest Referee: Wardlow VS Shawn Spears!
The final hurdle is here! If the War Dog can get through the Chair Man inside this cage, he’ll get Maxwell Jacob Friedman at Double or Nothing! But of course, stacking the deck as always, MJF is going to be the officiator in this match, wearing his own custom referee shirt. He claims he’ll call this right down the middle, but will MJF make sure Spears slays the giant and saves him from certain doom on Sunday?
Once again, Wardlow is in cuffs while being escorted to the ring. Fans chant, “WARD~LOW!” the whole way, and Wardlow steps inside the steel. MJF says he’s got those cuffs, as soon as he does the pat down. Wardlow is clean, but MJF “misplaced” the key. Fans boo, because they know this is just another way to rig this match! Spears attacks Wardlow outta nowhere, and MJF has the bell ring! Spears stomps, CLUBS and then throws body shots and more stomps. MJF whistles and has Spears back down, because he “found” the key. But then MJF stomps away on Wardlow, too! MJF knows Wardlow can’t attack him because that’ll violate the match contract!
Spears CLOBBERS Wardlow, stomps him, and MJF smirks. Wardlow gets up but elbows Spears away! Then BOOTS him! But MJF rakes Wardlow’s eyes! Fans boo but MJF eggs them on. Spears drags Wardlow up in the gap between ropes and steel, and both he and MJF run to RAM Wardlow into steel! MJF and Spears high-ten and then soak up the heat. Fans taunt Spears with “TEN! TEN! TEN!” and Spears brings the kneepad down. But Wardlow back drops Spears away! And BOOTS him! MJF stares Wardlow down because again, he can’t be touched. Wardlow endures the taunting, even as MJF SPITS in his face!
But then Wardlow BREAKS the cuffs on his own!? Wardlow CLOBBERS Spears over and over, THROWS him into the steel, then drags him up to TOSS him into more steel! Fans tell MJF he F’d up, but Spears HOTSHOTS Wardlow! Fans boo as Spears hurries up a corner, but Wardlow is after him! Wardlow won’t let Spears escape, he CUBS Spears over and over, then throws him down! Wardlow adjusts on the top rope to SWANTON BOMB! Cover, but of course MJF doesn’t count. Wardlow realizes he should’ve known better. Fans chant, “Ref, You Suck!” but MJF doesn’t care. He’s untouchable in this match! But Wardlow stepping closer does scare him…
Wardlow gets Spears up, but MJF LOW BLOWS him! Spears hurries to fireman’s carry, C4!! Cover, MJF is ready, TWO!! MJF went as fast as humanly possible and Wardlow still got out! Not only that, Spears realizes his finisher juts got buried! Fans chant for “WARD~LOW!” as he stirs, but Spears goes outside the cage to get his chair! This non-escape cage match has to end in the ring but Spears brings in his insurance policy! MJF holds Wardlow up for Spears, and Spears winds up, but Wardlow moves! CHAIRSHOT TO MJF!! Wardlow didn’t need to touch MJF to get even with him! And now Spears is stunned as fans chant that he F’d up!
Spears then realizes Wardlow is standing back up. Spears turns around, Wardlow brings the straps down! Spears is now wishing escape was a way to win. Wardlow gets Spears up, POWERBOMB! But that’s just one! Here’s another POWERBOMB! And then a third POWERBOMB! The Powerbomb Symphony has the fans rocking, and a spare ref runs in! Wardlow sets up Spears’ chair, gets Spears back up, and fans are thunderous! Wardlow reels Spears in again, POWERBOMB ON THE CHAIR!! Cover, Wardlow wins!!
Winner: Wardlow, by pinfall (WILL face MJF at Double or Nothing)
Wardlow got even with Spears, but now he wants MJF! Security rushes in but Wardlow DECKS each of them one at a time! There’s almost no end to these guys, but Wardlow gets that last one with a kick! Wardlow reels this guy in, gets him up, and BOMBS him against the cage!! The man falls into the gap, never to be seen again! Wardlow then climbs up the cage just to make a point that MJF can’t hold him back anymore! Is Wardlow not only going to win his freedom from MJF, but rid AEW of MJF once and for all?
AEW’s heart goes out to Uvalde, Texas.
After the tragedy of the school shooting, all any of us can really do is love each other and pray violence stops.
The Jericho Appreciation Society walks ‘n’ talks.
Daniel Garcia tells Blackpool Combat Club, Eddie Kingston, Santana & Ortiz that this Sunday, Double or Nothing, Anarchy in the Arena, the JAS shows you how violent sports entertainers can really be. But then hold on, who is this bozo wearing a Moxley shirt? Menard and Parker get in this guy’s face. Good quality shirt. Is this polyester? Parker asks if he wants a taste of his switchblade… comb. Y’know what happens when you’re a Moxley fan? FIREBALL from Jericho!! The Wizard strikes again! Will the JAS show no mercy to anyone who isn’t on their side?
Tony Schiavone is in the ring.
As we celebrate three years of AEW where it all began in Las Vegas, Nevada, we have the biggest AEW World Championship match ever on the biggest night ever, Double or Nothing. And the challenger is the Best in the World, CM PUNK! Fans fire up as Punk makes his entrance! And he sits cross-legged on the stage while he rallies the fans to get louder. Punk continues down to the ring and fans chant his name. Schiavone then introduces the other half of this face-to-face, the AEW World Champion, HANGMAN ADAM PAGE! Fans fire up again as the Cowboy makes his way out, belt on his shoulder.
Hangman joins Punk and Schiavone in the ring and Schiavone says these last few weeks, both men have joined commentary and watched the other go to work. Hangman’s used Go To Sleep, Punk’s used the Buckshot, and there’s been a lot of talk and now, for the first time, they’re standing here for a face-to-face interview. Schiavone starts with Punk, saying Punk is prepared for Double or Nothing and becoming the next AEW World Champion. Punk has a mixed reaction from Vegas but with plenty of fans chanting his name. Punk says it is safe to say, “the biggest moment of my career happened right here in Las Vegas.”
Punk is grateful to be in the position he is in, loves the fans all over the world, and plans to walk in challenger, and respectfully walk out the champion. Schiavone now goes to Hangman and says Hangman knows just who he is facing, what everyone knows about CM Punk, but this confidence level is off the charts for the challenger. Fans also have a mixed reaction for Hangman, and still plenty chanting, “COWBOY S*IT!” Hangman says he said exactly what he was going to do to Punk, and did he stutter? “There is nothing that you can do to me to take this championship away from me!”
Schiavone says this is a determined champion, but Punk says he isn’t so sure why Hangman takes this personally. Hangman is a champion because he is Hangman Adam Page, the toughest SOB in AEW, and he holds that gold for a reason. But there is a locker room full of people just like Punk waiting for their shot. This is just business. It’s Punk’s shot, it’s not personal. Schiavone says there seems to be respect here, but Hangman takes the mic to say, “I said three weeks ago exactly what I was going to do to you. I said I was going to destroy you. I said I was going to annihilate you, to embarrass you. And I did not mean at Double or Nothing. I meant right now.”
Punk smirks and says, “Okay,” as Hangman says he’s been waiting for this moment not just weeks, but for months. Hangman has imagined himself sitting on the stage, cross-legged, and he’d pull out a lighter to light a pipe bomb and roll it down to Punk’s feet and watch it blow up in Punk’s face! How cathartic it would feel, and how full circle for Punk, right here in Vegas. But now that we’re here… Hangman realizes that he just can’t do it. He can’t. Not because he’s afraid he’d get fired or because he’s afraid of Punk. But when Hangman thought about what he wanted to say, he realized it’s just what Punk would do.
And fighting Punk’s hatred, pettiness and cowardice with more of the same would not be the right thing to do. But Hangman will say face-to-face, man-to-man, how he feels about Punk. “I don’t hate you. I almost pity you. And I have no respect for you and what you’ve done since you’ve gotten here. You want this AEW World Championship? I don’t think you understand what it means to be a champion. After all these years, I don’t think you get it. Because it’s not just about what happens in this ring, it’s about what happens when that red light turns off. What happens when you go back through that curtain. Those small, quiet moments when you think no one’s watching. That’s what makes a champion.”
Hangman says Punk talks a big game about worker’s rights, but has shown the exact opposite since getting here. Hangman loves this place, cares about this place, this is his home! And at Double or Nothing, Hangman will not be defending this title against Punk. For the first time in Hangman’s life, he will be defending ALL ELITE WRESTLING from Punk! Fans fire up hearing that one! Hangman then offers the mic to Schiavone and he takes it back. Punk’s response is he doesn’t get why Hangman’s so angry and taking this personally. “It makes me a little bit confused. You’re kinda talking in circles, it’s a big riddle, but if you’re so upset that I’m here, you’re gonna have to do something about it on Sunday.
“Win, lose or draw, I respect you, Hangman. But remember, those roads you traveled to get here? They were paved by me. This house that you built? It was constructed with lumber from trees that I chopped down. The world you traveled to get here, to create All Elite Wrestling, happened because I gave you the blueprint. You will shake my hand Sunday. Y’know what, Hangman, you’re gonna shake my hand right now.” Punk holds out his hand, fans are a bit torn, and Punk says all this misplaced anger isn’t for Punk, it’s for Hangman himself. Now shake his hand. Hangman says no thanks, so Punk shoves him. And Hangman DECKS Punk!
Fans fire up as Punk is rather shocked by that move. But he also smiles, perhaps getting exactly what he wanted. Hangman scowls and storms off, will he have a better poker face when it’s Double or Nothing?
AEW looks closer at the coming TBS Championship rematch.
The Queenslayer made the save for Statlander on Rampage, but Jade Cargill asks, “Anna Who?” The girl she already beat? But Anna says she doesn’t get all the extra BS, like the lights and the pyro and the Baddies Section. Jade already beat dat ass, but Jay thinks she deserves another shot? Jay says after her lose, she learned from some of the best on the roster. Now, she’s ready to beat the best and be TBS Champion. Double or Nothing, Jade says you put all your money on her because she is nothing but money. Will #ThatBitchShow just get even bigger and better? Or will Number 99 be the one in 30-1?
The Jericho Appreciation Society heads to the ring!
William Regal is already on commentary as Jericho leads Parker, Menard, Garcia and Jake Hager out. But Jericho has the music cut so the fans can’t sing Judas. Vegas, you don’t have what it takes to sing that song, so sit down and shut up! No singing for Vegas! The JAS then also goes to commentary, because they’re going to watch this next match.
Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston VS Private Party!
The Maniac & The Mad King team up together again to prepare for Double or Nothing, and enter from the crowd! Bryan Danielson would’ve been here but he got his leg trapped between ramp and ring on Rampage last Friday. But will Marq Quen & Isiah Kassidy end up appetizers for the violent appetites of Blackpool Combat Club and their allies? Or will the AFO’s party boys do the dirty work for JAS?
The second Quen & Kassidy make their entrance, there’s a brawl at the ramp! Kingston hammers Kassidy and Moxley has Quen! Moxley bumps Quen off buckles and the bell rings to get this on record! Moxley stomps a mudhole, fans are fired up as Kingston RAMS Kassidy into steel steps! Moxley rains down fists on Quen, then he BITES Quen on the head! Kingston brings out a table?! Moxley whips Quen corner to corner but Quen BOOTS him and QUEBRADAS! Cover, ONE!! Quen gets Moxley up, wrenches, but Moxley rolls and wrenches back to hammerlock and SLEEPER! Tag to Kingston and fans fire up!
Kingston and Moxley mug Quen, Kingston HEADBUTTS Quen, then POWERBOMBS Quen down! Kingston paces, drags Quen back up, and he says he can do what Moxley can do. Kingston underhooks Quen, is that a PARADIGM SHIFT!? Kingston kicks Quen around, fishhooks the face, then drags Quen over to tag Moxley. Moxley whips Kingston in to SPLASH Quen, then Moxley clotheslines! Moxley feeds Quen to an STO! Moxley then drags Quen up, scoops him, but Quen slips off! Quen dodges to PELE! Tag to Kassidy, but Moxley blocks a kick and spins Kassidy, only for the DRAGON WHIP to come around!
Private Party DOUBLE DROPKICK Moxley to a corner, Kassidy runs in to back elbow! Kassidy sets up, Quen hits PARTY IN MOTION! Quen then sets up, Kassidy swaggers and runs, but Moxley CLOBBERS him! Kingston drags Quen out, Moxley gets Kassidy up, X-PLEX! Kingston hits an EXPLODER on Quen! Vegas fires up as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Moxley drags Kassidy up, throws him out, and then goes out after him. Moxley RAMS Kassidy into railing, Kingston does the same to Quen on the other side. Kingston brings a chair over, Kassidy throws hands on Moxley, but Kingston stands on Quen. The ref reprimands Kingston, and stops him from using the chair. Kassidy whips but Moxley reverses and Kassidy hits railing hard! Quen kicks Kingston back, but Moxley RAMS Kassidy into steel steps! Kingston RAMS Quen into more railing! Moxley drags Kassidy back up and puts him in the ring. Moxley drags Kassidy around while Kingston CHOKES Quen with camera cords!
Moxley stomps Kassidy, has the legs, TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Kassidy endures while Kingston brings Quen up. Moxley shifts to an Indian Deathlock STF while Kingston RAMS Quen into more railing! Kassidy endures, Kingston gets a drink of water, then he SPLASHES Quen with the bottle! Kassidy gets free of the STF but swings into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Moxley drags Kassidy back up, waistlocks, GERMAN SUPLEX! Dynamite returns to single picture and Moxley drags Kassidy off the ropes. Moxley half nelsons but Kassidy resists the suplex! Kassidy elbows free, reaches out, but Moxley keeps him from Quen!
Kassidy SCREW HIGH KICKS Moxley, tags Quen, SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE! Then he sucker punches Kingston! Quen runs, flapjack dropkicks Moxley down! Moxley and Kingston regroup. Quen FLIES and takes out Kingston! Kassidy TORNILLOS to take out Moxley! Private Party puts Moxley in and Kassidy hurries, but is put in a corner. Kassidy BOOTS Moxley, leaps, FLYING STUNNER! Quen is up top now, he SHOOTING STAR PRESSES! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives but Quen tags Kassidy. Kassidy springboards in but Moxley dodges. Kassidy comes back, Moxley sends him at Quen, SILLY STRING- NO! Moxley powers out to LARIAT Kassidy!
Kingston rushes in to URAKEN Quen! Kingston has Quen in the STRETCH PLUM, Moxley rains down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS on Kassidy!! Quen is tapping, Kassidy is a ragdoll! Moxley finishes Kassidy with PARADIGM SHIFT!! Cover, Moxley & Kingston win!
Winners: Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston, by pinfall
The JAS rush the ring but Kingston goes at them first! Moxley, too! Hager RAMS Moxley into the apron, Jericho and Menard help out, but here come Santana & Ortiz! And even Bryan with his beat up leg! It’s chaos already as they brawl around ringside! Refs try to stop this but fans want to “LET THEM FIGHT!” Jericho SMACKS Kingston with a chair! Menard and Bryan claw at each other, Jericho gets in the ring and soaks up the heat like his side’s already won. But Bryan gets in the ring to go after him! Jericho kicks the bad leg! Parker helps stomp Bryan, and then the JAS undoes railing so they can leave through the crowd! If this is how it was tonight, how much more insane will it get at Double or Nothing?
AEW takes a closer look at the Owen Hart Cup.
Mark Henry says watching all the competition in these tournaments, he is sure Owen would be so proud. Toni Storm says just a few months ago, she thought she was out of wrestling for good. But now she is this close to the finals. Britt Baker vows to defeat Storm and win the tournament at Double or Nothing to prove once again she is the best. Kyle O’Reilly tells Samoa Joe, Double or Nothing will be an Undisputed Elite finals. But Joe ponders the question, “How do you beat someone like Kyle O’Reilly? A submission aficionado, a striking prodigy.” But like all fancy things, you just place it on the anvil and break it. And when Joe is down with Kyle, he’s coming for Adam Cole, BAYBAY.
ROH World Tag Team Championships: FTR VS Roppongi Vice!
As if a three year anniversary isn’t big enough, Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood defend one of their two world tag titles against a team that’s been all over the world, but still hungry for more. Will FTR stay #TwoBeltTopGuys? Or will Rocky Romero & Trent Beretta not just be kings but champions of the night?
The introductions are made by Bobby Cruz, tensions rise but the ref keeps the peace. The ROH belts are raised, and we see if RPG Vice hits the jackpot here in Vegas!
Cash starts against Rocky and fans rally, “F T R! F T R!” Cash and Rocky circle, approach, and Rocky KICKS Cash’s leg. Cash shakes that off and ties up with Rocky. Rocky waistlocks but Cash wrenches and wristlocks. Rocky rolls, wrenches back, hammerlocks, but Cash slips around to hammerlock back. Cash really clamps it on but Rocky drop toeholds and headlocks. Cash rolls to a cover, ONE! Rocky holds on, Cash fights up, and powers out. Rocky runs Cash over! Things speed up, Rocky runs Cash over again! Rocky KICKS Cash, brings him up, CHOPS and runs, but Cash hurdles to run Rocky over!
They keep moving, Cash hurdles but Rocky deflects the dropkick! Rocky gets the arms, GEDO CLUTCH! TWO! Cash goes for a leg, Rocky turns that around to a backslide, TWO! Cash runs in, but into an ARMBAR TAKEDOWN! Fans fire up, Cash rolls to the ropes! Cash gets out, fans fire up and Rocky shows off some of that Latino Heat swag. Cash gets up and in, fans rally up, and Cash tags Dax. Rocky tags Trent, and now Dax and Trent stare down. They tie up, Dax headlocks, Trent powers up and out. Dax runs Trent over, things keep moving, and Trent gets up. Dax slides under but Trent CHOPS him! Dax staggers to a corner, Trent CHOPS back!
Dax turns it around, CHOPS and CHOPS, but Trent CHOPS back! Dax CHOPS, Trent kicks low! Trent stalks Dax to a corner, whips him corner to corner hard and Dax staggers. Dax still back elbows then snap suplexes! Tag to Cash, Dax gives him the boost for a BIG leg drop! Cover, TWO! Cash brings Trent up, but Trent blocks this suplex to suplex back. Cash slips out, waistlocks, but Rocky tags in before the O’Conner Roll! Rocky KICKS Cash, kicks again but Cash blocks! Cash ducks the enziguri but not the HEEL KICK, and Trent gets Cash with a HALF ‘N’ HALF! Rocky hurries to cover, ROPEBREAK!!
Fans fire up while Dynamite goes picture in picture. Rocky stomps Cash, drags him up and CHOPS him to the corner. Cash CHOPS back, CHOPS with his left hand, but Rocky blocks the third chop! Rocky wrenches, ELBOW BREAKER, and a KICK to the arm! Rocky drags Cash around, snapmares him down, and tags in Trent. Trent slingshot sentons, covers, TWO! Trent clamps onto Cash with a top wristlock but Cash clasps hands. Cash fights up, gets around to push Trent towards the corner but Trent digs in his heels. Cash scoops and SLAMS! Both men crawl, hot tag to Rocky! Rocky runs and dropkicks Dax down!
Rocky stomp Cash, then drags him up to throw forearms! Snapmare and basement dropkick! Rocky clamps onto Cash with a chinlock and grinds him down. Cash endures, fights up, reaches out, but Rocky holds on. Cash atomic drops Rocky and gets free! Rocky tags Trent and Trent CLUBS Cash down! Trent hauls Cash up, CHOPS him, but Cash CHOPS back! Trent knees low, tags Rocky back in, and RPG Vice double suplex! Cover, TWO! Rocky clamps back on with another chinlock as Dynamite returns to single picture. Fans rally, Cash moves around, gets around, BIG back suplex! Both men are down again and fans fire up!
Rocky and Cash crawl, hot tag to Trent and he keeps Cash from Dax! Cash hops up, reaches out, Trent pulls him away, but Cash fights through to hot tag Dax! Dax ducks Trent’s haymaker to JAB, JAB, JAB and DECK Trent! Rocky runs in, Dax rallies on him, too! Dax CHOPS Trent in a corner, uppercuts, CHOPS, repeat! Rocky returns but Dax DECKS him now! Dax whips, Trent reverses and Dax hits buckles hard! Dax falls back, Trent drags Dax up to whip, but Dax reverses! Trent ducks the clothesline to get around and GERMAN SUPLEX! Trent holds on, another GERMAN SUPLEX! Dax switches to GERMAN SUPLEX back!
Dax holds on, he GERMAN SUPLEXES Trent again! Trent grabs ropes to deny the hat trick! Dax CLUBS Trent, Trent elbows Dax! Trent swings, Dax dodges, GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, but Rocky DOUBLE STOMPS it apart! Trent hurries, tag to Rocky! Rocky KICKS Dax in the bad side, then ROCKS him and suplexes! Dax slips out, slips under, but Trent tags in before the atomic drop! Dax still elbows Trent, runs, but into a DOUBLE JUMP KNEE! Fans fire up and Rocky hurries after Cash to DECK him! Trent brings Dax up, hangs him out to dry, then Rocky goes up! Missile dropkick! Trent hits the SLIDING KNEE! Cover, TWO!!
Dax survives and RPG Vice can’t believe it! Trent says they’ll finish this, and fans duel. Rocky goes up as Trent Alabama Lifts, but Cash trips Rocky up! Trent dumps Dax to DECK Cash, but Dax cradles Trent! TWO!! Dax scoops but Trent cradles, TWO!! Dax pops Trent up but Trent victory Rolls, TWO!! Both men bob ‘n’ weave, Dax fakes Trent out but Trent fights off the Piledriver! Trent gets Dax back up and tucks him in, Rocky is back up top! STRONG ZERO!!! Cover, Cash barrels into Rocky to break it!! Wait, wait, is that the UNITED EMPIRE rushing down the ramp?! The IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions, Great-O-Khan and Jeff Cobb, are here!?!
Khan & Cobb get in the ring and they CLOBBER EVERYONE!
Winners: FTR, by disqualification (still the ROH World Tag Team Champions)
Khan throws Trent out, Cobb throws Cash out, and then Khan MONGOLIAN CHOPS Rocky! Dax is alone and the fans are losing their minds! Cobb gets Dax up, Khan runs, IMPERIAL DROP!! Khan then feeds Rocky to a TOUR OF THE ISLANDS!! The United Empire still isn’t done, they mug Dax, then clear off the timekeeper’s table! GUT WRENCH POWERBOMB through the table!! Khan gets another table, and he drags Trent over. IRON CLAW, and then he goes up the steps! ELIMINATOR through the table!! They then grab the ROH World Tag Team Championships and hold them up high. Will the United Empire conquer not just NJPW but AEW and the world?!
The Hardy Boyz speak.
Matt tells the Young Bucks that their stories both began with a lot of similarities. They were all born and raised by wholesome, religious parents. They had innocent upbringings where they didn’t smoke or drink. They didn’t even curse! And they all had dreams of becoming pro-wrestlers. But that’s where the parallels end. The Hardys broke into the business in the early 90s, and it was a different industry back then, and a majorly different culture. The brutal, tough roads the Hardys had to walk, the Bucks could never, EVER have survived! The Bucks don’t have the grit, the resilience that these two have. The Hardys no only survived, but they became a revolutionary tag team.
Sure, the Bucks are talented, are Elite, but let’s call it like it is. When the Hardys look at the Bucks, and even when the fans look at the Bucks, all they see are Hardy Boy cosplayers! The reason the Hardys are here in AEW is to cement their legacies as the GOATs of tag team wrestling. Jeff says that was GR-E-E-E-E-EAT. Get it? Goats? But they’re not a team in their prime, they’re a team in their OVERPRIME, and it is overtime! The pressure is on to win. This is a clean slate for Jeff, it is his time approaching the eventual time. But this final run will be the best run!
So at Double or Nothing, the Bucks are just two little stepping stones on the Hardys’ way to becoming AEW World Tag Team Champions to complete the collection! And if the Bucks think they’re in their prime, well, they will NEVER be better than the Hardys! The Hardys have been better at every stage of life! Better as babies, as kids, as teenagers, at their peak, and right here and now even as middle-aged and extreme! The Bucks may be elite, but this is the DELETE! They will DELETE the Bucks this Sunday! And there’s a saying: Never meet your heroes, they’ll probably disappoint you. But for the Bucks, it’ll be more like disappointed that they can never beat their heroes!
Triple Threat: Jungle Boy VS Ricky Starks VS Swerve Strickland!
Captain Charisma set up a prelude to the AEW World Tag Team Championship Triple Threat at Double or Nothing, because he wants his guy to get back at both the FTW Champion and the man who cost JB that FTW Championship. But will JB just end up getting beat up by his challengers before the title match because of Christian Cage? Or will Jurassic Express have all the momentum going into this Sunday?
The bell rings and fans fire up as these three stare each other down. JB and Swerve then come to an understanding, and they both look at Starks. Starks realizes that and bails out, and says he beat them both already so he doesn’t have to do anything. Fans chant, “Whose House?” “Swerve’s House!” as Swerve offers a handshake to JB. JB accepts, but Starks slides into shove Swerve into JB! Starks rolls Swerve up, JB breaks it as he rolls Starks up! TWO, JB ends up in Swerve’s cradle, TWO! Starks blocks Swerve’s kick and sends it into JB! Starks throws Swerve down, then goes after him, but Swerve moves around to EDDY GORDO RANA!
JB CHOPS Swerve, knuckle locks, and goes up and up, only for Swerve to bring him back down. Swerve blocks a chop and knuckle locks, then turns JB around to double knuckle lock from behind. JB hops up onto Swerve’s shoulders, Swerve throws him at Starks, JB RANAS Starks out of the ring! JB dodges Swerve, dropkicks him then kips up! Fans fire up with JB and he runs at Swerve to CLOBBER him at ropes! JB runs again but Starks trips him up! Starks throws JB out, but JB whips Starks at the corner! Starks slides through the gap and comes back around, to CLOBBER JB! But Swerve runs at the ropes!
Starks ducks but Swerve handsprings over him, only for Starks to shove him into railing! Starks gets up on the apron to strike his pose, then jump down and stomp Swerve! Dynamite goes picture in picture as Starks talks trash on the Swerve fans.
Starks drags Swerve up, whips him hard into railing, then he goes after JB. JB ROCKS and CHOPS Starks but Starks ROCKS and throws JB down! Starks drags JB up and puts him in the ring to then drag him up and around for a suplex. Starks holds JB up, does a hip swivel and then SLAMS JB down! Cover, TWO! Swerve returns but Starks kicks him and throws him out. Starks brings JB up but JB throws body shots! Starks CLUBS JB down, looms over him, and brings him up to knuckle lock and CHOP! Starks goes up slowly, tightrope walks with some swagger, and gives JB some OLD SCHOOL! Starks strikes his pose again as fans rally.
Swerve is on the apron but Starks DECKS him! Starks then drags JB up and CHOPS him. JB CHOPS Starks back! Starks CHOPS again! Starks digs his knee into JB at the corner, the ref counts, Swerve CLOBBERS Starks! Swerve whips Starks to a corner, runs in but Starks back elbows! Starks throws swerve back out, gets JB back up and wrenches to whips to ropes. OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! But Swerve gets in to throw Starks to a corner! Swerve elbows, snapmares, and then goes up for the FALLING UPPERCUT! Starks goes to the apron but Swerve joins him out there. Swerve claws Starks’ face but Starks throws an elbow.
Dynamite returns to single picture as Starks throws a forearm but Swerve gives it back. Starks BOOTS, Swerve keeps Starks from running off. Starks elbows Swerve again, JB runs in but Starks HOTSHOTS him! Swerve BOOTS Starks, JB runs and RANAS Swerve off the apron! JB throws Swerve back in, hurries and BLINDSIDE LARIATS! Cover, Starks breaks it! Starks whips JB, JB reverses to wrench and RACK BOMB! Cover, TWO! JB is annoyed, Starks gets away, Swerve ROCKS JB with a forearm! Swerve whips corner to corner hard, and then he brings JB up to the top rope. Swerve climbs up, brings JB up, but JB throws body shots.
Starks returns, he jumps up to join in, hitting each man in the head! But they double pie face Starks down hard! JB then CLUBS Swerve, gets around, SUPER POISON-RANA!! But Swerve lands on his feet!! Vegas loses its mind and JB is confused! JB and Swerve fire up, but Starks BOOTS Swerve down! JB dodges Starks’ clothesline but Starks blocks a kick. Starks ducks JB’s enziguri but Swerve’s SUPERKICK connects! JB aims but Swerve deflects that superkick to throw JB down! Swerve rolls JB’s arm to lift him up, stalling suplex, but Starks SPEARS them down!! JB lands on his feet, though, and SUPERKICKS Starks!
JB runs, but Starks MICHINOKU DRIVERS! Cover, Swerve breaks it!! Fans are thunderous, Starks and Swerve kick each other and Starks stomps! Fans are loving “A E DUB!” as Starks tries to underhook. But Swerve powers out to a fireman’s carry, but Starks fights free of that. Starks waistlocks, Swerve switches, but Starks fights off the half nelson suplex! Swerve CHOPS Starks’ on the back again and again, but Starks arm-drags free! Swerve uppercuts, but Starks reels him in! Swerve breaks free with his leg, but Starks pokes eyes! Starks underhooks and Canadian racks, ROSHAMBEAUX! But JB gets Starks SNARE TRAP!! Starks is caught, reaches out, crawls forward, ROPEBREAK!
But JB drags Starks away! JB resets the SNARE TRAP!! Starks is fading, HOUSE CALL from Swerve!! Swerve wants someone to get up, Starks sits up in a daze. Swerve is up stop, SWERVE STOMPS!! Cover, Swerve wins!!
Winner: Swerve Strickland, by pinfall
But “Powerhouse” Hobbs gets in! And he CLOBBERS Swerve! JB jumps on Hobbs for a sleeper but Hobbs throws him off! But Luchasaurus rushes out there and he choke grips Hobbs! Hobbs pries free!? But here comes KEITH LEE! The Limitless One isn’t going to let this keep going without him! Keith, Hobbs and Luchasaurus, the big men of each team, start throwing hands! Hobbs ROCKS Keith, Luchasaurus TAIL WHIPS Hobbs, but Keith GRIZZLY MAGNUMS Luchasaurus! Keith then LIMITLESS TORNILLOS them both down!! Fans lose their minds all over again and Keith regroups with Swerve. Will all of the AEW Tag Division soon bask in their glory?
Dan Lambert & the Men of the Year speak.
Lambert says, “Sammy, Tay and Frankie must have a combined IQ of room temperature with the air conditioning on if they thought for one second that busting up Scorpio’s TNT title belt was going to get them the match that they want. Well, somebody please tell these idiots about this new invention we have called the internet and show them how to look up American Top Team. Because maybe then, they would understand that winning every championship there is in combat sports means I probably have every belt maker in the world on speed dial.” That’s right, Lambert ordered Scorpio a brand new belt even before AEW’s favorite couple could tweet out a picture of themselves in the middle of some disgusting act wearing the old one.
So, Scorpio Sky gets a special Friday Night Rampage. The brand new, custom made TNT Championship, handcrafted in Scorpio’s image, will be presented to him and he will love it. Scorpio snaps his fingers and we cut away, but will Sammy, Tay & Frankie just look to break that belt up, too?
Schiavone is on stage.
This Sunday, the AEW Women’s World Championship will be defended. Schiavone introduces the champion, Thunder Rosa! La Mera Mera makes her way out, and Schiavone asks her about Deeb’s challenge. Rosa wants us to see her face. It has no face paint! This is the real Rosa, the face of someone who has worked and earned everything she has, and is grateful for being champion. That has never complained, either. Because that is what champions do. Deeb, “mi reina,” you are NOT a champion. Fans cheer Rosa on, and Rosa tells Deeb that she complains, is a little petty.
Rosa says Deeb points fingers at people and companies, pinning things on her past, with her questionable changes. Maybe Deeb should look in a mirror and blame herself. Rosa’s face used to look up to Deeb, but no more! And on Sunday, Deeb won’t see this face. On Sunday, the war paint is on. On Sunday, the warrior inside Rosa takes over! On Sunday, La Mera Mera will teach Deeb a lesson in respect for disrespecting Schiavone, for disrespecting Rosa’s mentor, Dustin Rhodes, for disrespecting the fans, and especially for disrespecting Rosa, the AEW Women’s World Champion!! And y’know what? Deeb will be very scared, because Rosa will haunt her forever!
AEW returns as Schiavone interviews Red Velvet backstage.
A tremendous match between The Chef and Kris Statlander in the Owen Hart Cup, but Statlander won. Velvet is surely upset. No sh*t, Schiavone. Velvet says she should have won that match, and she should be facing Ruby Soho. But speaking of, Soho walks in because she heard her name. Does Velvet have something to say to her? Yes, actually. If Soho needs to know how to beat Statlander, Velvet’s got this notebook right here. Statlander’s knee is messed up, and she has a bad shoulder, too.
Velvet leaves and Soho says she can admit, when she faced Statlander last time, Soho won by the skin of her teeth. But in the next round of the Owen Hart Cup, Soho knows she’s not facing the same Statlander. This notebook is useless, so Soho throws it away. Soho will keep what Velvet said in mind, though. Will the Runaway be able to get past whatever this new form the Galaxy’s Greatest Alien has taken and head for Double or Nothing? And speaking of…
Owen Hart Foundation Women’s Tournament Opening Round: Britt Baker VS Toni Storm!
The Doctor made Maki Itoh tap out while the Lightning From Down Under struck a Hayter. Only one moves on to Double or Nothing and the finals, who wins the first of tonight’s “double main event?”
In a surprising move, Britt tells Rebel and Jamie Hayter that she’ll be fine without them. They head back to the back, this will truly be 1v1, just as Storm wanted it. The bell rings and Vegas rallies for “D M D!” Britt and Storm circle, tie up, and go around. Storm clamps onto the arm, wrenches, but Britt reaches for ropes. Storm keeps her away from ropes, but Britt wrenches back. Britt hammerlocks, spins Storm and snapmares but Storm wrenches right back. Storm keeps Britt down with a wristlock, but Britt fight sup to break free. Britt snapmares, but Storm wrenches Britt right back, then headlocks for the takeover.
Britt keeps her shoulder sup, headscissors, but Storm pops free. Storm and Britt tie up again, Britt hits a headlock takeover. Storm headscissors and she keeps Britt down. Britt gets frustrated but endures as Toni pushes up for more pressure. Britt moves around, Storm pushes up again, but Britt kicks her way to the ROPEBREAK. Fans rally and duel as Storm lets off and waits on Britt. Britt gets up, kicks Storm low, but Storm rushes in. Britt sidesteps but Storm redirects herself to avoid the table top, and she basement dropkicks Britt down! Britt bails out but Storm pursues, and she ROCKS Britt with a forearm!
Storm brings Britt around and POSTS her! The ring count climbs, Storm ROCKS Britt with an uppercut. Storm gets in the ring to refresh the count, then she uppercuts Britt again. Storm aims at the apron but Britt blocks the bump to smack Storm off the apron instead! Britt puts Storm in the ring, fans duel, and Britt climbs up. Storm shoves Britt out! Storm hurries to ROCK Britt with a right, then stalks her to steel steps. But Britt rakes eyes! Britt Hits a COMPLETE SHOT to the steps! Storm flops down and Britt gets in the ring to refresh the count! Britt hurries after Storm as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Britt rains down fists on Storm, lets off to spell “D M D,” then she drags Storm up. Britt SMACKS Storm off the steps, then takes the fan sign that says “DMD is DUMB,” to rip it in half! Britt refreshes the count again, puts Storm back in, then takes her time getting in the ring. Storm kicks at Britt but Britt stomps and kicks Storm. Britt CLUBS Storm, scuffs her, talks trash on Storm, then puts her in a corner. Britt CHOKES Storm, but the ref counts. Britt lets off at 4, brings Storm around and throws forearms! Britt sits Storm down, drags her back out, and then pulls her into the post! The ref counts again and Britt scuffs Storm as she lets off.
Britt gets back in the ring with a smirk and she brings Storm up. Britt throws Storm down by her hair, covers, TWO! Britt clamps onto Storm with a seated cobra twist, but Storm endures. Fans rally up, Britt pulls Storm’s hair and talks more trash, but Storm endures. Storm fights up, throws body shots, and gets free! Britt ROCKS Storm, but Storm ROCKS Britt! Dynamite returns to single picture as the forearms fly back and forth! Storm gets the edge, but Britt dodges to SUPERKICK! Storm staggers, Britt goes up the corner, and Britt leaps for PITT- NO! Storm blocks the sunrise to go up and TORNADO DDT!
Britt flounders away and fans fire up. Storm fires up, she runs in corner to corner, HIP ATTACK! Then Alabama lift, ALABAMA SLAM! Storm rolls Britt back to her feet and reels her in, but Britt powers up to AIR RAID CRASH! Cover, TWO!! Fans fire up but here comes Hayter! She coaches Britt up but Britt tells her to go back. Storm rolls Britt! TWO!! Britt kicks low, reels Storm in, FISHERMAN SCREW! Cover, TWO!! Storm survives and Britt is beside herself! Britt waistlocks, ripcords, but Storm dodges to GERMAN SUPLEX! Britt flounders to the apron and out of the ring. Storm hurries after her, TORNADO DDT to the floor!!
Storm drags Britt up, puts Britt in, and fans duel! Hayter is on the apron but Storm DECKS her! Storm runs at Britt, blocks the superkick and kicks back! Storm reels Britt in, Britt back drops but Storm sunset flips! Britt sits on the cover, Hayter helps Britt grab the rope! BRITT WINS!
Winner: Britt Baker, by pinfall (advances to the finals)
Storm is shocked! Britt did 99% of the work and still stole this one! Who will The Doctor meet in the finals? We see Statlander VS Soho this Friday on Rampage!
Owen Hart Foundation Men’s Tournament Semifinals: Samoa Joe VS Kyle O’Reilly!
The Panama City Playboy waits the winner of this at Double or Nothing, and he’s hoping for an Undisputed Finals! Will #KillerKyle keep that dream alive? Or will the Samoan Submission Machine make sure the Cup stays far out of their reach?
The bell rings and the two circle. Kyle and Joe test the waters with kicks, fans sing, “Joe is gonna kill~ you!” and Joe withstands Kyle’s quick flurry! Joe backs Kyle down with his own kicks and knees, and even adds elbows and a KICK! Kyle staggers but he steadies himself and the two reset. Kyle shoots in, Joe switches, Kyle flips it to a facelock. They move around, Joe wants a leg now, and he gets Kyle down! Kyle uses a leg guard and they end up in ropes, Joe lets off quickly. Fans fire up for the opening exchange and the two reset again. They knuckle lock, Kyle gets the arm and wrenches it. Joe wants the sleeper!
Kyle trips Joe, Joe kicks Kyle away and avoids the Penalty Kick to CHOP Kyle off his feet! Fans are stinging from that one, and they chant for “JOE! JOE! JOE!” Kyle gets up, Joe JABS, JABS, then CHOPS Kyle in the corner. Joe brings Kyle around but Kyle wants that bad arm! Joe uses the good arm to scoop and SLAM Kyle! Kyle sits up and gasps, Joe CHOPS him on the shoulder, then PENALTY KICKS and ELBOW DROPS! Fans fire up and Joe covers, TWO! Joe CLUBS Kyle, CHOPS him, CHOPS again, then HEADBUTTS! Joe throws a back elbow, reels Kyle in, and snap suplexes! Joe floats to the cover, TWO!
Joe smirks and JABS Kyle again. Joe runs but into a KNEE! Kyle wrenches the bad arm to WRING it out! Joe rolls away, Kyle snarls and he stomps Joe to ropes. Kyle gets the bad arm, hammerlocks, and he rains down elbows and knees! Kyle floats over to do the same to the other side, then he runs for a SLIDING KNEE! Joe writhes, Kyle KICKS the bad arm! And again! Joe staggers but Kyle brings him around to clinch and fire off more knees! Kyle runs but Joe CLOBBERS him! Fans fire up and Kyle flounders to the apron. Joe storms over, but Kyle gets the leg! DRAPING DRAGON SCREW! Kyle then goes up the corner, FLYING KNEE to the bad arm! Cover, TWO!
But into an ARMBAR! Joe clasps hands, or rather holds his own wrist! Kyle wants the arm but Joe gets the ROPEBREAK! Kyle holds until 4 and Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Kyle KICKS Joe against the ropes, then KICKS him again. Joe bails out of the ring, Kyle goes out after him, and Kyle wrenches the bad arm for a double wristlock. Kyle then hammerlocks the arm, makes Joe take a seat and he KICKS away on Joe by the barriers! Kyle ROCKS Joe, then gets some space. Kyle runs back in, but Joe DECKS him with a forearm! Fans fire up and Joe brings Kyle up. Joe CHOPS Kyle into taking a seat, then Joe gets some space. Joe encourages fans to fire up, and he run sin to BOOT WASH Kyle against railing! The front row fans fire up getting a whole new experience as Joe brings his foot back over.
Joe drags Kyle up and puts him in the ring. Joe takes a moment to catch his breath, then he gets in. Kyle gets the bad arm to wrench, hammerlock, and leg sweep! Joe lands on the bad arm and clutches the shoulder! Kyle rains down palm strikes on Joe, floats over to the other side for more, then back again! Kyle lets off to get the bad arm and grind the shoulder. Joe endures, even as Kyle grinds the elbow into Joe’s head. Joe fights up but Kyle throws him down! Kyle runs to drop a knee on Joe’s shoulder! Kyle paces, stomps the bad arm, then hauls Joe up as Dynamite returns to single picture.
Kyle throws forearms, KICKS, and repeat, focusing on the bad arm. But Joe uses the arm to catch the kick! Kyle fires off palm strikes, knees and another kick, but Joe ROLLING LEG SWEEPS! Kyle goes down and fans fire up with Joe! Joe JABS, JABS and JABS, to then whip and atomic drop! Joe keeps moving, and he BOOTS Kyle down! SENTON! Cover, TWO! Kyle survives but Joe keeps cool. Joe stands Kyle up for knee after knee, but Kyle blocks to KICK the bad arm. Kyle runs, but Joe LARIATS him down! Cover, TWO!! Kyle survives and Joe is beside himself! Fans rally behind Joe and he watches Kyle rise.
Joe brings Kyle up but Kyle throws a forearm! Joe responds with palm strike after palm strike from his good arm! Joe has Kyle in the corner, puts him up top, then tucks him in! MUSCLE- NO! Kyle fights out and has the bad arm! Kyle shifts around from double wristlock to FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Joe endures but Kyle pushes back! Joe crawls, reaches out, turns on his side, ROPEBREAK! Kyle lets go quickly but still wants the bad arm. Kyle rips off the tape and snarls as he KICKS the arm again! Joe is in the corner, Kyle BOOTS him! Joe JABS, and JABS, and CHOPS! Kyle BOOTS again, but Joe KNEES Kyle as he shoots in low!
Kyle staggers, yoyos in the ropes, and LARIATS! Joe ENZIGURIS! Kyle PENALTY KICKS! Fans fire up again as both men are down! Kyle and Joe go to opposite corners, fans love “A E DUB!” for this, and Kyle runs corner to corner! URENA- NO! Arm-drag counter, and Kyle shoots around. O’Conner Roll, TWO! COQUINA CLUTCH!! But Kyle has the bad arm! Joe is still locking it in with the one good arm! Kyle sputters, and he’s out! JOE WINS!!
Winner: Samoa Joe, by submission (advances to the finals)
Even with one good arm, the ROH World Television Champion pulls off the victory! But here comes Adam Cole, BAYBAY! Cole and Joe have never had a match against each other before, and now they will in a historic finals match at Double or Nothing! Who will win the inaugural Owen Hart Foundation Men’s Tournament?
A great episode for Dynamite, especially as a go-home for Double or Nothing. For one, opening with the Steel Cage was an awesome move. I should’ve figured MJF would go that far to try and screw Wardlow over, but it was awesome how Wardlow turned it around on MJF. That was one serious headshot and MJF sold it perfectly. Wardlow of course wins, and of course we’re now getting MJF VS Wardlow at Double or Nothing, and who knows how that goes. There is a very good chance MJF wins, though, with the dirtiest of ways to win, but I bet Vegas would go nuts if Wardlow won. Also great to see that I called the TNT Championship was being remodeled for Scorpio, I bet that thing will look awesome.
Great promo from the JAS, and wow, Jericho with another fireball just because that staffer wore a Moxley shirt. If this were sports entertainment, they would’ve mentioned Jericho getting fined a lot of money. Regal and Jericho were very good on commentary during Moxley & Kingston VS Private Party, which was a lot of fun and a pretty good sampler of what Anarchy in the Arena will look like. I don’t want it to be so chaotic because that’ll be hard for everyone to keep up with all the action, but it will surely be just brawling all over ringside and even in the ring, and who knows what we’ll see these teams do to each other.
Good promo vignette from Jade and Jay to hype up the rematch, but again, because it’s Jay again, I feel like Jade’s got this one. I did like that Velvet, though Heel, gave Ruby, a Face, advice on how to beat Statlander since Velvet is now Statlander’s enemy. Ruby had a good Face response, and Ruby VS Statlander on Rampage is going to be a great match. Great promo from the Hardys to hype up their match with the Bucks, no idea who wins that match, but I definitely see the winner going after the AEW World Tag titles. And while Rosa had a very good promo, they started her music a little early. Probably just them misreading her promo, but it also felt like they were playing her off, which is a bit rude to do to your AEW Women’s World Champion. But that aside, Rosa is surely retaining against Deeb.
Great segment from Hangman and Punk, and though Hangman purposefully danced around the issue, I’m pretty sure what he was getting at is Punk coming in and throwing off all the plans for the AEW originals, Hangman himself included. Punk also had a good counter saying he was the foundation of what AEW is even about. That match is going to be amazing, Hangman knocking Punk down technically means Punk is standing tall because he got in Hangman’s head. I would think Hangman retains the title and that strengthens his reign, probably so he’ll be real strong for Kenny Omega’s eventual return.
The ROH World Tag Team Championship match was great stuff, and I even liked that it ended up like it did because The United Empire shows up to further build towards Forbidden Door. FTR wants more tag titles, RPG Vice called out a lot of champions, and now it seems the Empire figures they’ll grab up titles, we could get a huge tag title match with this feud. The Triple Threat of JB, Starks and Swerve was great stuff, and between Swerve winning the match and Keith running off the other heavies, I have a feeling Keith & Swerve end up losing somehow. That might mean Jurassic Express finds a way to retain, maybe Team Taz wins, but who knows.
Great “double main event” from the Owen Hart Cup Semifinals, and we even got a good promo vignette to hype the matches up. Britt VS Storm was of course still affected by Hayter showing up, but I almost thought Hayter was going to accidently cost Britt. But no, Britt still wins, as expected, and she is paralleling Cole as they’re both finalists. Joe VS Kyle was awesome stuff, and especially with Joe selling the arm damage from last week. Joe winning was great, though, and that gives us a classic Face VS Heel showdown. I suppose it would be too early for Cole VS Kyle, possible dysfunction between them in AEW after doing that story in NXT, and Cole VS Joe will still be awesome. But with Lethal, Sonjay & Singh lurking, I bet Joe loses because of them and Cole wins, he and Britt will be an Owen Hart Cup winner power couple.
My Score: 8.9/10
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