Notice: Undefined index: slug in /var/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme-json.php on line 1440

Notice: Undefined index: slug in /var/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme-json.php on line 1440

Notice: Undefined index: slug in /var/www/wp-includes/class-wp-theme-json.php on line 1440
Connect with us

NFL

Cook: When The Bengals Were The Worst Team In Sports

Easily the coolest thing you’ll read all day, Steve Cook presents his 2000 speech on the lowly Cincinnati Bengals–what a long way they, and he, have come!

Published

on

Cincinnati Bengals David Klingler

Easily the coolest thing you’ll read all day, Steve Cook presents his July 2000 speech on the lowly Cincinnati Bengals–what a long way they, and he, have come!

I was going to write about NFL matters not involving the Super Bowl this week, and did a little something on Thursday night. A bit about the Washington Commanders, some on Tom Brady’s retirement, things like that. As it turned out, when I woke up Friday morning I decided that I didn’t really like what I’d written. This happens pretty often. Sometimes I post it anyway, other times I scrap the idea and come up with something else. Then there’s times where I decide to revisit previous work that has become relevant again due to current events.

As I’m sure most of you know, the Cincinnati Bengals are playing in Super Bowl LVI. Those of you regular readers are aware of my fandom of the team, which goes back to just before the last time they’d won a playoff game prior to this postseason. I’ve been writing & talking about the Bengals just as long as I’ve been writing & talking about pro wrestling. It’s debatable which topic I know more about, or whether I know anything about either topic or not.

Back in July 2000, I was at summer camp with my Boy Scout troop. Camp Crooked Creek was a glorious place indeed. One of the merit badge classes I was taking was Communications. One of the requirements for getting the badge was to write a five-minute speech and give it in front of an audience. I decided that it would be fun to give a speech about the Bengals, specifically about why they were the worst team in professional sports.

It was a rough time to be a Bengals fan. Bruce Coslet was the head coach, Dick LeBeau would become head coach during the 2000 season. Akili Smith was going to be the quarterback after being drafted third overall in the 1999 NFL Draft. The only players of note to non-diehard Bengals fans were running back Corey Dillon & offensive tackle Willie Anderson. The Bengals went 4-12 in 1999, and would go 4-12 in 2000. Hope was not a word associated with the Bengals at this time, and wouldn’t be for a few more years.

The tricky part about doing the speech: I didn’t have a cell phone. I didn’t have access to my Bengals books or sports almanacs. I’m sure kids these days have cell phones at summer camp, and the camps are equipped with proper Wi-Fi, but this wasn’t the case in 2000. So I had to write this thing off the top of my head. As you’ll see, I didn’t exactly have all the key stats memorized.

I found the speech five years ago and re-printed it for The Ultimate Sports Blog. Since it’s been five years and I don’t think that cutthroat sumbitch Dustin James will mind too much, it seems like a fine time to re-re-visit my Boy Scouts Communications speech from July 2000. I’ve included some notes from the present day, and made a couple of grammatical changes, otherwise this is Steve Cook from back in the day.

“Why The Cincinnati Bengals Are The Worst Team In Sports”

In the wide world of sports, you have teams that are known for their great accomplishments in the past, like the New York Yankees, the Dallas Cowboys & the Brazil soccer team. On the other side of the coin, though, are teams that are known for sucking year in and year out, like the L.A. Clippers, the Chicago Cubs, and any team from Canada. (Note: Not sure where the Canada shade came from.) But, is there any team worse than the Cincinnati Bengals?

The Bengals came into existence in 1968, as part of the AFL, which became the AFC plus Cleveland, Pittsburgh & Baltimore in 1970. They’re won 2 of the last 15 Super Bowls. Anyway, the Bengals were founded by former Cleveland coach Paul Brown. He coached the team for the first few years until he got tired of it. The Bengals struggled the first couple of years until 1970, when they went 11-3 and made the playoffs.

The Bengals were mediocre until 1982, when they made their first Super Bowl. Against the San Francisco 49ers, they took a lead of 21-0 in the first half. (Note: Actually the Bengals were down 20-0 at the half. I was a little confused here.) The final score was 28-21, 49ers. (Note: 26-21, 49ers.) The 49ers quarterback, someone named Joe Montana, took control of the game and doomed the Bengals to defeat.

Throughout the mid 70s & early 80s, the Bengals quarterback was their current quarterbacks coach, Ken Anderson. (Note: Anderson was the club’s offensive coordinator in 2000. Really nice guy.) He led them to their first Super Bowl, but another would lead them to their 2nd Super Bowl. Norman “Boomer” Esiason was the MVP of the NFL in 1988, and led the Bengals into their 2nd Super Bowl against the 49ers. The Bengals led 24-21 with a couple of minutes to go. (Note: 16-13) The final score was 28-24, 49ers. (Note: 20-16, 49ers.) That quarterback for the 49ers, Joe Montana did it again to the Bengals, engineering a length of the field drive in the last couple of minutes.

Although the Bengals had lost both times in the Super Bowl, the fans still stayed behind the Bengals. Through the next couple of years, the Bengals had their moments. They beat the Houston Oilers 61-7. Ickey Woods did the Ickey Shuffle. Anthony Munoz went to many Pro Bowls. Sam Wyche said “You don’t live in Cleveland, you live in Cincinnati!”

The good times would soon end for the Bengals. At the 1992 NFL Draft, the Bengals drafted the man who they thought would be the man in Cincinnati, a quarterback from the University of Houston, David Klingler. He sucked. He led the Bengals to a couple of 3-13 seasons. Also, coach Sam Wyche was fired and replaced by coaching legend Don Shula’s son Dave. Some said that Dave would follow in his dad’s footsteps and win a lot of games. He didn’t.

Klingler was the first of many sucky draft choices for the Bengals. In 1994, they drafted Dan “Big Daddy” Wilkinson. While Big Daddy was a pretty good player (Note: I’m being generous here.), he was not worth the amount of money they paid him.

But perhaps one of the worst draft choices the Bengals made was in 1995 when they picked Ki-Jana Carter. (Note: “perhaps”?) Carter had come out of Penn State as one of the best running backs ever in college. In his first exhibition game with the Bengals, Carter tore his ACL and missed his entire rookie year. He was never the same, and was eventually released.

You can sum up the decade of the 90’s for the Bengals with 2 numbers, 3 & 13. It was their record for most of the 90’s. Whether it was Sam Wyche, Dave Shula or Bruce Coslet coaching, Boomer Esiason, David Klingler, Jeff Blake, Neil O’Donnell, or Akili Smith in the quarterback position, or another player in the Bengal stripes, they could do no good.

However, it is a new decade, with new possibilities. With a new stadium, the Bengals can compete on a level playing field with most other teams. (Note: Can’t believe I bought that “new stadiums make teams more competitive” talking point. Young & dumb.) If the Bengals can trade in their bad luck for some really good luck, things will be different for the Bengals and their long suffering fans. I wouldn’t bet on it, though.

———-

It took a couple of decades, but things are finally different for the Bengals and their long suffering fans. If I had a kid, they wouldn’t be able to make a speech about how the Cincinnati Bengals are the worst team in all of sports. I would suggest the Browns or the Lions, and perhaps their fans will be in Bengals’ fans spots in twenty years. Stranger things have happened.

Thanks for taking this trip down memory lane with me! Hit me up on the Twitter with your thoughts on the Bengals or anything else.


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

NFL

Down The Wire: No Cap Recap NFL Conference Championship

Tom and Dave are back, with no cap, to give you their thoughts on an exciting NFL Championship Sunday!

Published

on

Tom and Dave are back, with no cap, to give you their thoughts on an exciting NFL Championship Sunday!

Powered by RedCircle

About the Chairshot Radio Network

Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.


The Chairshot Radio Network
Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts and radio shows!

All Shows On Demand

Listen on your favorite platform!

iTunes  |  iHeart Radio  |  Google Play  |  Spotify
Listen, like, subscribe, and share
, and share!


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Continue Reading

NFL

Cook’s 2022 NFL Gambling Picks: Championship Weekend

This Sunday, two teams will advance to the NFL Super Bowl! Who will they be? Steve Cook brings his 6-2 playoff record to Championship Weekend!

Published

on

Patrick Mahomes NFL Championship Weekend

This Sunday, two teams will advance to the NFL Super Bowl! Who will they be? Steve Cook brings his 6-2 playoff record to Championship Weekend!

Hi, hello & welcome to Championship Weekend! I’m Steve Cook, and I hate to say it, but last week’s Divisional Round didn’t live up to the billing. The Chiefs only beat the Jags by seven, but it never really felt all that close, and was likely only that close due to Patrick Mahomes getting injured early in the contest. The Eagles blew out the Giants in a snoozefest. The Bengals blew out the Bills in another surprising snoozefest. Then the 49ers & Cowboys messed around and somebody had to win.

Is Championship Sunday going to live up to the hype?

Sunday, January 29

San Francisco vs. Philadelphia (-2.5)

There was a point in this season where some of us wondered if the Philadelphia Eagles were going to lose a game. I always figured they would, because going undefeated is a long row to hoe, but some folks out there thought the Eagles could get it done. They didn’t. Nothing wrong with that, but then the Eagles looked quite pedestrian during the last month of the regular season, largely due to Jalen Hurts getting hurt and missing some games. Even though Micah Parsons and other top NFL experts tried to tell us that Jalen Hurts was a system quarterback, Hurts going out was a serious detriment to the Eagles. That missed stretch of games became his best argument for 2022 MVP. He looked healthy against the Giants, and the Eagles looked like the Eagles we saw early in the season.

The 49ers road was slightly more bumpy. They stumbled out of the gate, losing their first game to the hapless Bears & were 4-4 heading into their Week 9 bye. They went through Trey Lance & Jimmy Garopplo at quarterback, both got hurt and they ended up with Brock Purdy starting. During this process, they finangled a trade with Carolina for Christian McCaffrey, which added a whole new dynamic to their offense. They haven’t lost a game since October 23, and have rarely looked vulnerable.

It’s going to be a close one, so I have to side with the underdog. Roll with those 49ers.

Cincinnati vs. Kansas City (-1)

I haven’t seen line movement like this on a big time game since I started doing this column. It seems pretty strange on the surface, but when you think about it for a minute it all makes sense. See, this game’s result hinges on the status & performance of one player. Sure, the Bengals have a number of solid players. Guys like Joe Burrow, Ja’Marr Chase, Tee Higgins, Joe Mixon, Logan Wilson, they’re all halfway decent. The Chiefs have a good amount of weapons on offense & defense. But there’s only one player in this game that really matters.

Patrick Lavon Mahomes II.

I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. You already know that Patrick Mahomes is the best quarterback in the NFL. Some might say that Mahomes is merely the best current quarterback in the league, but we all know that he’s the greatest of all time. Tom Brady? Pfft, he could never do half of what Mahomes does on a field. Peyton Manning? Get outta here with that stuff. Joe Montana? Are you serious, bro? Mahomes has only spent six seasons on an NFL roster, and he’s already surpassed them all. The question is just how high this guy’s gonna set the bar for everybody else that follows.

OK, I know that the Bengals have somehow won three straight games against the Chiefs. We have a word that describes each of those games. It’s the same word that my fellow media members used to describe the team making it to last year’s Super Bowl. In fact, it’s the same word they used to describe the Bengals somehow defeating the greatest team in the history of football last week. Seriously, how are the Buffalo Bills not in this game? I can only assume they’re playing the winner of this in the Super Bowl.

Indeed, the Bengals are a fluke. That’s what the media has been telling me for over a year now, and I know the media would never lie to me. They have no business being in this game, and there’s no doubt that everybody reading this should throw their money on the Chiefs. The games aren’t usually this easy to predict this late in the season.

NFL Playoffs Record: 6-2


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Continue Reading

Sports

Entertainment

Sports Entertainment

Buy A Chairshot T-Shirt!

Chairshot Radio Network

Trending