Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (3/18/22)
Rampage is Limitless!
Time for a little bit of March Madness!
AEW Rampage starts a little later tonight but it’s just as hot! Team Taz warned Keith Lee, but he’s still coming! Will Max Caster #BaskInHisGlory?
- Darby Allin w/ Sting VS The Butcher w/ The Blade; Darby wins.
- Red Velvet VS Leyla Hirsch; Velvet wins.
- Six Man Tag: The House of Black VS Fuego Del Sol & Bear Country; The House of Black wins.
- Keith Lee VS Max Caster w/ Anthony Bowens; Keith wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Darby Allin w/ Sting VS The Butcher w/ The Blade & The Bunny!
Things have been heating up between the Relentless One, the Icon, and the Andrade Family Office. Butcher owes Darby for a busted hand, will he bust up Darby’s face?
The bell rings and fans rally as these two circle. Fans rally behind Darby, he throws his jacket at Butcher but Butcher throws it away. They approach, Darby dodges Butcher, and the two circle again. Butcher tries to corner Darby but Darby slips around to fire off! Fans fire up but Butcher eggs Darby on! Darby SLAPS, Butcher shoves, but Darby SHOTGUN dropkicks! Coffin Splash, then another! Butcher RAMS Darby to the other corner and fires off hands! Butcher DECKS Darby, then shoves him into the cameraman! The ring count starts while Darby is down. Butcher paces, but Darby gets up at 4 of 10.
Darby gets near but Butcher swipes at him. Darby goes around the way, baits Butcher, but the count is climbing! Butcher wants after Darby but Darby SLAPS him! Darby dares Butcher to do something, then he gets in to build speed and DIVE! Darby hits railing with Butcher! But Darby gets back up, stomps Butcher as he gets in, and fires off palm strikes! Darby fires up, runs, COFFIN- Caught! But Darby bends fingers! Butcher CLUBS Darby, then hits a BACKBREAKER! And then a SIDE SLAM! Cover, TWO! Sting stays stoic while Butcher looms over Darby. Butcher drags Darby up but Darby BITES those fingers!
The ref counts, but Butcher fires off forearms! Darby stops biting, and then Butcher DECKS Darby again! Butcher drags Darby up but Darby BITES the bad hand! Butcher drags Darby around, stomps Darby, and his hand is free. Butcher shakes out his bad hand, is more careful as he brings Darby up, and he bumps Darby off buckles, before a LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Butcher is frustrated but fans rally up for Darby. Butcher drags Darby around and stomps him more. Sting fires the fans up and Butcher drags Darby up. Butcher SWINGS Darby around by his neck before THOSSING him away!
Darby writhes after hitting ropes on the landing. Sting backs Blade off, but Blade talks trash. Butcher kicks Darby to the floor, then stands on Darby’s head. Butcher kicks Darby, the ref reprimands. Butcher stalks Darby, then CLOBBERS him again! Darby sputters while Butcher goes into the ring. Butcher goes back out to fetch Darby, and he stares Sting down. Darby crawls while Rampage goes picture in picture.
Butcher CLUBS Darby against the apron, then POSTS him! Darby wobbles, Butcher puts him in the ring, and Darby gets to a corner. Butcher runs corner to corner, and clotheslines Darby down! Darby flounders to another corner, Butcher takes aim and he runs in again, for another clothesline! Butcher soaks up the heat as he paces around. Darby crawls to yet another corner, and Butcher runs in again, for another clothesline! Darby somehow makes it to the fourth corner, Butcher wants to complete the set! Darby drags himself up, Butcher runs in, but Darby BOOTS him! Darby hops up as Rampage returns to single picture.
Darby leaps, but Butcher catches his legs! TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Darby endures, reaches out, claws and crawls, but Butcher drags him away! Butcher flips Darby through to POWERBOMB him! And then back to the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Darby endures, reaches out for Sting, and he gets the ROPEBREAK! Butcher lets go, Darby flops to the floor. Butcher goes out after Darby, gets the legs and deadlifts Darby, but Darby grabs ropes! Darby kicks Butcher then hops on for a sleeper! Darby fires off crossface forearms, but Butcher POSTS Darby again! Butcher gets back in the ring, just to refresh the count.
Butcher drags Darby around again, and he SWINGS him into the railing! And again! And then into steel steps! Butcher drops Darby and gets back in the ring, but comes back and runs in, only to hit steel steps! Darby stomps away on the bad arm, then hops on, CODE RED to the floor! Fans fire up and Darby gets up to the apron. And then up top!? SUPER COFFIN DROP!! Both men are down but the fans are all fired up! Darby drags himself into the ring and somehow Butcher drags himself up. But then he falls! The count is 10, Darby wins!
Winner: Darby Allin, by count-out
The Relentless One gets a big win, but here comes El Idolo and company! But Private Party attacks from behind! Sting DECKS Kassidy and fights Quen, Darby goes after Blade! But that’s 3v2, the AFO is getting the advantage! Andrade joins his employees, but here come the HARDY BOYZ! Matt & Jeff hurry down and run off everyone else! The Hardys help Darby to his feet, this is clearly only escalating between them all! Matt gets the mic to say that with numbers even, AFO should get their asses in the ring. Fans want to see that! Andrade and his faction step up, but then they back off. There’s no money in brawling.
Matt tells them this then. If they’re all too chicken sh*t to get in the ring here tonight, how about Dynamite in Austin? It’ll be an 8 Man TEXAS TORNADO TAG! Butcher, Blade, Private Party VS The Hardy Boyz, Darby & STIIIIING! Andrade talks it over with his team, will this battle be big money?
AEW hears from Scorpio Sky, Dan Lambert & Paige VanZant.
The Closer says he successfully defended his TNT Championship on Dynamite, and since then, all he’s heard are excuses. Losers make excuses for not getting this or that! Guess what? You keep making excuses, Scorpio will keep making history! Lambert says Scorpio makes history every day with that unbeaten streak of his! Lambert makes history by being co-champion (uh, just wearing the belt doesn’t count…) and Paige made history by signing her contract on Tay Conti’s beaten body. Tell ’em what you bring, Paige!
Paige says she looks better than any woman has a right to, fights better than any man could ever hope to, and prints more money than the Federal Reserve. Jump on the bandwagon now, or get run over! Will American Top Team look to take over AEW one move at a time?
Red Velvet VS Leyla Hirsch!
Kris Statlander wasn’t the only friend LEGIT Leyla betrayed. The Chef defended Leyla and yet was proven wrong time and again. Will Velvet make up for mistaking Leyla for a good friend by ending it here? Or will Leyla use Velvet as nothing more than a stepping stone towards the title?
They don’t even wait for the bell, they brawl on the ramp! Leyla gets around, waistlocks, but Velvet blocks to switch! Velvet snap suplexes Leyla to the ramp! Double-edged given how hard that stuff is, but Velvet gets herself up. Velvet drags Leyla up, brings her to the ring and puts her in. The bell sounds and now it’s official! Leyla crawls to ropes, Velvet runs in to KNEE her down! Then STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Leyla shoves Velvet away and goes to a corner. Velvet storms over but is put in the corner for big forearms! Leyla CHOPS, and CHOPS, then mocks stirrin’ it up. Leyla whips, runs in, but Velvet elbows back!
Velvet puts Leyla in the corner, fires off hands, then stomps away! The ref counts, Velvet lets off and fans fire up as she goes up the corner. Velvet rains down fists, and she gets 5 before Leyla trips her up! Leyla then stomps Velvet, rolls her around, then KICKS her down! Leyla gloats then covers, ONE! Leyla pushes Velvet around but Velvet hit backs and Leyla CLUBS Velvet as Rampage goes picture in picture.
Leyla chokes Velvet on the ropes, but the ref counts. Leyla lets off, argues with the ref, then slaps Velvet around. Velvet kicks back, Leyla stomps her down. Leyla drags Velvet to a corner, then stomps. Leyla digs her boot in, the ref counts, but Leyla lets off and talks some trash. Leyla flexes, but Velvet kicks her again. Leyla stomps, then goes up the corner to soak up heat. Leyla hops down but Velvet fires off more hands! Leyla CLUBS her down, then drags Velvet around to CHOKE her! Leyla lets off again, and KICKS Velvet in the back! Leyla taunts Velvet, but Velvet still hits back. Leyla fires off on Velvet, then suplexes her high and hard!
Leyla kicks Velvet around, stands on her for a cocky cover, TWO! Velvet flounders but Leyla drags her up. Velvet throws more body shots, then runs, but Leyla ROCKS her with a forearm! Leyla wrenches, WRINGS Velvet out, then paces to soak up heat. Leyla taunts Velvet, drags her back up and Rampage goes to break.
Rampage returns and both women get up, for Velvet to start rallying with big forearms! Velvet bobs ‘n’ weaves to ROLLING ELBOW! Body shots, kidney shouts, and a kick to the legs, for a SHORT BULLDOG! Velvet runs, wheelbarrows, BIG BULLDOG! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up and Velvet tunes up the band! Velvet spins, but no Slice! Leyla gets under for a SHOULDER CAPTURE SUPLEX! Velvet has a rough landing but Leyla DEADLIFT GERMANS! Leyla holds on, flips Velvet over, LEGIT ARMBAR!! Velvet endures, flails, clasps hands, reaches out with a leg, ROPEBREAK with a toe!
The ref counts, Leyla holds until 4! Velvet gets to the corner, Leyla runs in but misses the knee! Velvet BOOTS Leyla out! Velvet drags Leyla up but Leyla HOTSHOTS the arm! Leyla gets that spare crossbar again! Leyla gets in with it, but Kris Statlander runs out to snatch it from her! No more alien face paint, but she has a streak in her hair. Velvet yanks Leyla back, SCREW HIGH KICK! Cover, Velvet wins!!
Winner: Red Velvet, by pinfall
The Chef gets the assist and Leyla is on the losing end! Kris glares at Leyla, perhaps things aren’t over between them, either.
AEW hears from QT Marshall.
“The whole world is still buzzing about what Hook did to me at Revolution.” Even Mama Marshall had to ask if he was okay. QT said he wasn’t upset, he was proud. He graduates from High School, the same school as “The Boss,” Bruce Springsteen. But anyway, next week will be the best day of all. He will invited his student to the ring on Rampage and present him with the inaugural QT Marshall Certificate of Accomplishment. Aaron Solo applauds that, but will Hook even want whatever certificate QT has?
Six Man Tag: The House of Black VS Fuego Del Sol & Bear Country!
Malakai Black, Brody King & Buddy Matthews have so far made it through the Death Triangle and Erick Redbeard, among others, but what is next for them? Will they extinguish the Fire of the Sun and break Bronson & Boulder? Or will Los Osos y Fuego burn down the House?
The trios sort out and Bronson starts against Malakai himself. Fans rally up as these two stare down, and Bronson rushes in, but into a leg sweep! Malakai wrenches an arm, has the standing armbar, but Bronson moves around. Malakai stays clamped on, Bron knees low! Bronson throws big forearms and he CLUBS Malakai! Tag to Fuego, Malakai ROUNDHOUSES Bronson down, then blocks Fuego’s kick to throw him down! Boulder gets in, Malakai blocks a kick to JUMP KNEE! Boulder bails out, and Malakai brings Fuego up. Fuego gets away, tags back to Bronson, but Malakai arm-drags Bronson down!
Malakai wrenches, tags in Buddy, and Buddy goes up to DOUBLE STOMP the arm! Buddy stares Fuego down, then eggs Bronson on. Fans rally up, Buddy fires off a strike fest! Kick, stomp to the foot, wrench and WRINGER! Buddy taunts Fuego, pushes Bronson that way and tags in Brody. PENALTY KICK to Bronson’s arm, Brody SENTONS! Brody whips Bronson, Fuego tags in! Brody clotheslines Bronson out, Fuego GAMANGIRIS! Fuego springboards and leaps but is DECKED outta the air! Brody tags Malakai then DECKS Bronson! Malakai tags Buddy, Boulder gets back in and he’s staring down the whole House!
Fans fire up as Boulder is surrounded. He eggs them on, Brody BOOTS him! Buddy KICKS a leg out, Malakai KICKS Boulder’s chest! Feed to Buddy’s KNEE! Feed to Brody’s LARIAT! Fans fire up as Boulder falls out of the ring. Fuego goes up top and missile dropkicks Brody! He fires off forearms and elbows on Buddy and Malakai! He kicks, but Buddy blocks. Malakai takes the ENZIGURI! Buddy waistlocks, Fuego elbows out, dodges Brody, springboard into a KNEE! DIVE onto Boulder! MOONSAULT onto Bronson! SWINGING DEATH VALLEY from Buddy to Fuego! Cover, the House wins!
Winners: The House of Black, by pinfall
Bears and fire could not tear down the House! Will anyone ever be able to stop these three?
Penta Oscuro & Alex Abrahantes speak.
“House of Black, thank you for changing us. We see that you like to hide in the darkness. But in the darkness is where Penta Oscuro feels most alive and strongest. In this life, there are only two things that are guaranteed, and one of which is that The Death Triangle is inevitable! And, CERO MIEDO!” Will Death Triangle regroup and take out the House of Black themselves?
Mark Henry speaks with our main eventers!
Max Caster talks a big game about big man Keith Lee, but does he have anything else he has to say before putting his money where his mouth is? Caster says he isn’t worried, cuz he’s got a lotta money and a lotta mouth. And he’s pretty big, so he can back it up. Keith will be kissing it after the match, and tell ’em why, Bowens! The Acclaimed ain’t afraid of Keith’s King Henry VIII soundin’ ass! Go back to the Renaissance Fair, b*tch! This is their night, their show, EVERYONE loves the Acclaimed!
Keith tells them to listen. To make something clear, Keith doesn’t dislike them. He’s a fan of what The Acclaimed brings. He even likes them saying he’s a king, as they should. Because the reality is this: when you step into the ring with an entity like Keith Lee, you will learn a very painful lesson, so prepare yourself. At the end of the day, The Acclaimed are but a steppingstone for him. You will #BaskInHisGlory. Looks like there’s been enough talk. It’s time for the main event! Will Rampage be Limitless in San Antonio?
Keith Lee VS Max Caster w/ Anthony Bowens!
Platinum Max did a lot of talking already, but here comes a diss rap! “The Acclaimed fightin’ Keith Lee, there’s no hope for ’em. Have him runnin’ like Ted Cruz in a snowstorm! Yo, you must be new here. Those are our colors, man, you need to get some new gear. I’m not Ramon but my words be razorin’. Have you sending pics from bed like Pete Davidson. And this the last time you be at the show. They gonna have to remember you like The Alamo!” SAN ANTONIOOO~! The Acclaimed have arrived! But will Caster’s loss be bigger than Texas?
The bell rings and fans sing for Keith. Keith conducts them, then he circles with Caster. Fans chant, “Keith Lee! Woop woop!” Caster mocks them, approaches, but then dodges Keith to do jumping jacks. Caster pelvic thrusts, but Keith just shakes his head. Keith and Caster approach, tie up, but Caster gets around to push Keith to the ropes. Caster taunts Keith, Bowens applauds, and Caster holds out his hand to say, “Everyone loves the Acclaimed!” But then Keith grabs that hand and knuckle locks it! Keith twists the wrist, then straight arm levers! Caster flails, Keith puts him down and twists the wrist more.
Caster breaks free, uppercuts and dropkicks! Keith wobbles but he blocks the whip! Keith reels Caster in to RAM shoulder to shoulder! And then again! Keith whips but Caster holds ropes to block. Keith keeps on the bad arm, the ref counts the ropebreak, and then the ref has Keith let off. Caster gets a cheap shot in! And he fires boots! Caster runs but Keith HURDLES! Things keep moving, Caster holds ropes to stop himself! Caster is shocked and fans are thunderous for Keith defying physics! Keith blocks a kick, reels Caster in and TOSSES him over head! Fans fire up more as Caster flounders.
Bowens coaches Caster, but here comes Will Hobbs! Team Taz’s Powerhouse taunts Keith but he joins commentary as Rampage goes picture in picture.
Keith is watching Team Taz, but Caster KNEES him out of the ring! Keith lands on his feet but Caster goes out to fire off on him! Caster goes to bump Keith off steps, but Keith blocks! Keith elbows Caster away, then bumps Caster off the apron! Caster staggers away, Keith keeps his eyes on Bowens as he follows Caster. Caster hits back, but Keith just gets mad! Keith ROCKS Caster and Caster falls against railing! Keith refreshes the count, but he keeps Caster from running away into the ring. Keith HEADBUTTS Caster, then has him against railing for a GRIZZLY MAGNUM! Caster crawls away and Keith smirks.
Keith stares Bowens down while he stalks Caster. The ref checks on Caster but he’s up and around the corner again. Keith catches up to Caster, puts him in the ring, but Bowens talks trash. Keith laughs it off, he gets on the apron, but Caster springboards to missile dropkick Keith down! Cover, ONE!! And Caster gets put on the apron from that! Caster hurries back in to BOOT Keith, but Keith sits up. Caster BOOTS again, and then he rains down fists! Caster soaks up the heat then looms over Keith. Keith sits up but Caster clinches. Keith GRIZZLY MAGNUMS! Caster dropkicks Keith down! Cover, TWO!
Keith gets to ropes and Caster stands on Keith’s back to choke him! The ref counts, Caster hops off, but Bowens chokes Keith and gets his shots in! Rampage returns to single picture and fans rally as Keith sputters. Caster throws crossface forearms, but fans rally up for “Keith Lee! Woop woop!” Caster fires off more crossface forearms and then catches his breath. Caster drags Keith up but Keith stands with Caster as a backpack! Keith fights free, Caster CHOPS him! Keith snarls, things speed up, Keith POUNCES Caster out of the ring! Fans fire up and Keith seethes as Caster gets back in.
Keith SPLASHES in the corner, then TOSSES Caster across the way! Keith steadies himself while Caster flounders. Fans rally and Keith stalks Caster. Fans want another but Bowens begs them no. Keith brings Caster up, but Caster kicks the leg, then KICKS Keith in the chest! Then SUPERKICKS! Caster tries to fireman’s carry but Keith is too big for him! Caster bails out on that, but Keith ROCKS, ELBOWS and HEADBUTTS, for a GRIZZLY MAGNUM! Fireman’s carry, BIG BANG CATASTROPHE!! Cover, Keith wins!
Winner: Keith Lee, by pinfall
Platinum Max could not stop the Limitless One, and then Keith stares up at commentary. Keith smirks, Hobbs smirks, and Hobbs heads out already! Hobbs figures what the hell, and they start throwing hands! Starks hurries to help Hobbs with Keith! Then The Acclaimed rush over, and they use the boombox on Keith! Fans boo as the four put Keith in the ring! But here comes SWERVE! And he has a chair! Swerve is all fired up and he rushes the ring! Swerve runs off The Acclaimed and Team Taz, and has a big smile on his face. Swerve and Keith shake hands, uniting against their common enemies! Will Swerve’s House be Limitless in AEW?
A great episode again for Rampage! Great opener with Darby and Butcher, and Darby goes so hard with those tope suicidas. Darby wins, and of course we get the set up for the 8 Man Tag I was hoping for. But stepping it up to a Texas Tornado Tag was a great move, that is going to be a lot of fun. And it also gives Andrade an opening to help his team cheat, same as what technically happened for the Revolution Six Man Tornado Tag. Pretty good promo from American Top Team, the best part being Lambert claiming he’s a co-champion. Also good promo from QT to set up a segment with Hook. I totally expect Hook to tear up that certificate then throw QT around by his arm again.
Great match out of Velvet and Leyla, and great appearance by Statlander to stop Leyla from cheating. Velvet gets the win for that reason, but I almost thought Statlander was going to turn on her, too. Statlander isn’t going Heel but she is bringing out a more serious side of her with the alien face paint now more of a lightning bold, and she has the darker colored gear and hair. It’s definitely an avenue she can explore to keep herself going, and maybe we get a more extreme rematch between her and Leyla, like No Disqualification or even Lights Out if it goes that far.
Great Six Man Tag, though it was just a few steps above a squash with how easily Malakai himself was dealing with Fuego & Bear Country. Good promo from Penta and Alex to call out The House of Black and keep that going. They’re definitely doing their best to keep this active while waiting on Fenix’s recovery. Maybe they can even stretch this out with a series of singles matches, like a round robin between the factions. And of course, great promos before the main event, and then just a great main event. Naturally, Keith wins, and that naturally brings Team Taz to ringside. And as I was sensing on Dynamite, Swerve and Keith are joining forces! That’s going to make for great tag matches, like Swerve & Keith VS The Acclaimed, then Swerve & Keith VS Team Taz.
My Score: 8.6/10
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Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (3/22/23)
Independence is Dynamite!
Dream matches, grudge matches, title matches, oh my!
The AEW World Tag Team Championships, Moxley VS Grayson, Hook VS Stokely under NO DISQUALIFICATIONS, and Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo, all on one night!
- Six Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin & Sting VS The Superbad Squad; Cassidy, Darby & Sting win.
- AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Gunns VS Top Flight; The Gunns win and retain the titles.
- No Disqualifications: Hook VS Stokely Hathaway; Hook wins.
- Jon Moxley w/ Wheeler Yuta & Claudio Castagnoli VS Stu Grayson w/ The Dark Order; Moxley wins.
- Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts VS Skye Blue; Storm wins.
- Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo; Omega wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
There’s a medical emergency backstage!
Hangman Page is on the phone with someone while Brandon Cutler gets in the ambulance. Cutler tells Hangman to make sure someone’s with Nick, meaning MATT Jackson is in the ambulance! The ambulance drives away, and now Nick is loaded into a second! The Young Bucks were attacked before cameras were rolling, Don Callis calms Kenny Omega down, and Hangman rides with Nick. Omega has his main event match with AAA rival El Hijo del Vikingo, but who went after his best friends?
Six Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin & Sting VS The Superbad Squad!
Freshly Squeezed is still a champion, as he retained the now AEW International Championship in Canada. But now, a familiar foe is rearing his Superbad head once again. Kip Sabian is bringing Butcher & Blade with him to go after Cassidy while his Best Friends are down and out. But will Cassidy’s new pals be more than enough to turn back the Superbad Squad?
The trios sort out and Cassidy starts against Kip. Fans rally and chant for “FRESHLY SQUEEZED!” but Kip copies Cassidy putting his hands up. Cassidy rushes in, Kip gets around and waistlocks to headlock. Cassidy powers out, headlocks back, but Kip powers out, only for Cassidy to slip around and headlock again. Kip powers out, things speed up and Cassidy arm-drags, but Kip cartwheels through! Kip mocks Cassidy, Cassidy rushes in but Kip dumps him out. Kip fakes Cassidy out with an Arabian Press, then he mocks putting his hands up again. Cassidy rushes back in, dodges Kip now, and sends him out!
Cassidy mocks Kip, then puts his hands up. To put his hands in his pockets! Kip rushes in, Cassidy dodges and SHOTGUNS! Cassidy kips up and fans fire up, but Kip scrambles away to tag in Butcher. Butcher eggs Cassidy on, but fans cheer as Cassidy tags in STIIIING! The Icon steps to Andy Williams and Andy talks trash. Butcher swings a forearm, but Sting just brushes it off! Butcher throws another forearm, but then Sting counter punches! And back hands! And punches again! Sting kicks low, ROCKS Butcher, then fires off in the corner. But Butcher claws at the eyes! The fans boo but Butcher BITES Sting’s forehead!
Butcher BLASTS Cassidy and Darby, then mocks Sting’s howl. Butcher runs, but misses the splash! Sting runs to hit the STINGER SPLASH! Fans fire up as Sting snapmares and gets the legs! But Blade and Kip attack! Fans boo but Darby and Cassidy fight them off! Kip throws Cassidy out, Blade scoops and dumps Darby out, then the Superbad Squad coordinates. Butcher & Blade reel Sting in, Butcher tags Kip, and then they DOUBLE SUPLEX Sting! Kip goes up the corner, but Sting slow rolls away, a la Cassidy! Speaking of Cassidy, he and Darby go after Butcher & Blade on the outside! Fans fire up but Kip is frustrated.
Kip storms over to another corner and climbs up again, but Sting slow rolls the other way! Fans fire up, Darby reaches out and makes the tag! Kip leaps, Darby gets under to SLAP, HEADBUTT, roll and CODE RED! Cover, TWO! Kip is still in this and Penelope Ford gets on the apron! The ref reprimands her while Darby whips Kip. Kip reverses, Darby goes up the ropes, but Blade trips him up! Darby hits the mat hard, Kip stomps away, and fans boo while AEW goes picture in picture.
Kip drags Darby up while Butcher sends Cassidy into barriers! Kip hits a FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Tag to Blade, the squad mugs Darby, then they send him into a corner. Blade runs in to CHOP! And CHOP! And then snapmare to PENATLY KICK! Cover, TWO! Blade drags Darby over, tags in Butcher, and they DOUBLE HEADBUTT Darby down. Butcher drags Darby up to CHOP him back down. Butcher drags Darby up to bump him off buckles, then he tags Kip. Kip stomps Darby, then taunts Sting. The ref reprimands Kip but that allows Blade to CHOKE Darby! Kip howls, tags Blade, and the mugging continues.
Blade brings Darby up to ROCK him with a forearm. Blade brings Darby around to whip him to ropes, to then POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Tag to Butcher, he stomps Darby, then ties up the legs. Darby throws hands from below, but Butcher still drags him into a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Darby endures, claws his way around, but even Penelope taunts him with shouting, “TAP! TAP!” Dynamite returns to single picture as Darby crawls towards his corner, only for Blade to swing him out into a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Darby survives but Butcher tags Kip. Kip drags Darby up to wrench an arm and whip. Darby uses that to BLAST Butcher & Blade!
Kip runs in, blocks Darby’s boot and spins Darby around to back suplex. Darby lands on his feet, but his knee jams! Darby crawls and scrambles, but Kip drags him back! Kip catches Darby, Blade trips Sting! Blade sends Sting into barriers! Darby sunset flips Kip, Kip stays up so Darby lets him go to hot tag Cassidy! Fans are thunderous as Cassidy eggs Kip on! Kip rushes Cassidy but gets a buckle bump! Cassidy goes up top, and CROSSBODIES! Cassidy keeps moving, he ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl DDT! And kip up! Fans are thunderous again as Cassidy gives Kip those “devastating” kicks! But then Butcher runs in to CLOBBER Cassidy!
Fans boo and the ref reprimands, but Butcher brings Cassidy up. Butcher lifts but Cassidy fights the bomb! Blade gets in, they DRAG THE LAKE!! Kip covers, TWO!! Cassidy survives and Kip is furious! Kip howls, runs and CANNONBALLS! Fans boo but Kip soaks it all up. Kip is too busy having fun, he misses Cassidy tag STIIIIING! Sting walks up to give those same “devastating” kicks! Kip thinks it’s Cassidy, and turns around into quite the surprise. Sting “beats” his chest, Kip swings, but into a LARIAT! Sting really fires up, and he rallies on the Superbad Squad! Kip springboards, but Sting catches him! SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!
Ford freaks out, Blade gets up and throws hands, but Sting doesn’t flinch! Butcher adds on, the 2v1 is too much and Kip gets free. But Darby returns to fire off on Butcher & Blade! Butcher blocks one, CLUBS Darby and then hoists Darby up. Darby BOOTS Blade, BITES Butcher’s hand, then runs to DOUBLE COFFIN SPLASH! Butcher & Blade bail out but Darby builds speed, into Kip’s body shot! Kip avoids Orange’s punch, to suplex, STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE! Then Cassidy DIVES to take out Blade! Darby hops up to THROWBACK STUNNER on Kip, then he DIVES into Butcher!
Sting has Kip in the dragon sleeper, and fans are thunderous for the SCORPION DEATH DROP!! Cover, Sting’s team wins!
Winners: Sting, Darby Allin & Orange Cassidy
A huge win for the unlikeliest of trios, and Cassidy adorns Sting with the sunglasses! As for Darby, he is looking at the Double or Nothing banner. The Relentless One wants at MJF and the gold, will he be living it up in Las Vegas?
AEW shares backstage footage from last week.
After having his “Re-Bar-Mitzvah” interrupted by Darby Allin, Sammy Guevara and “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry, it was obvious Maxwell Jacob Friedman was mad. He curses up a storm, then says he is the world champion! But Darby Allin says the world title means much more than money and fame. It is him being him. And Jack Perry, for himself, his family, and everyone who supported him all this time, he is going to become champion on his own. Sammy says that the world title is his destiny! He said so since episode ONE of Dynamite that he is going to be world champion. But MJF says that’s not how it works! You don’t waltz up to the champ and call your shot, you EARN it!
MJF has beaten Darby, Sammy and JB once each in 1v1 competition in their AEW careers, and he tells them they have to become #1 contender. Good luck trying, because all three of them SUCK! Sammy says he’ll win as many matches as it takes to get that belt off MJF. JB says that you can check the record books. He’s already won more matches than any of them. Darby says he’s beaten Sammy and he’s beaten JB, so he will stop at nothing to make sure that MJF is no longer champion. Who of these three Young Pillars of AEW will be THE one that challenges MJF at Double or Nothing?
AEW takes a closer look at tonight’s main event dream match.
Excalibur narrates that, “In 2021, there was no one hotter in professional wrestling than Kenny Omega. Known as ‘The Belt Collector,’ Omega won championships around the world, including in Mexico, where he won the AAA Mega Championship. At the same time, El Hijo del Vikingo was quickly establishing himself as one of the premier luchadors in all of Mexico. A match was made for December 2021: Vikingo, Omega, for the first time ever for the AAA Mega Championship. Unfortunately, Omega’s injuries at Full Gear were so severe, they required surgery, keeping him out of action for nearly a year.
“Now, with Omega back at 100%, the dream match is on for tonight. Kenny Omega, El Hijo del Vikingo, live!” Who will come out as truly the best today?
AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Gunns VS Top Flight!
They may not be the Young Bucks, the Lucha Brothers or the Hardy Boyz, but Austin & Colten are the brother tag team reigning over AEW. But will they soon find out they are not nearly as good as they think they are? Or will the Gunns cause the Coldest Tag Team in the Game to melt down?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who is really the better brother duo!
The teams sort out, Austin starts against Dante, and Independence taunts the “ASS~ BOYS!” Austin tunes that out, knuckle locks with Dante, and then he CHOPS! Austin goes up and up, but then says no no no. Austin hops down, swings on Dante, but misses! Dante knuckle locks and CHOPS, then he goes up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAGS! Dante kips up and fans fire up! Austin tags Colten, but Dante arm-drags Colten down! Tag to Darius, the Martins double whip and speed things up, to then DROPKICK Colten down! Austin runs in, but into a DROPKICK! The Gunns regroup, but the Martins double clothesline them up and out!
Fans fire up as Dante says they’re getting those belts. The “ASS~ BOYS!” regroup and Colten slides back in. Tag to Austin, he and Dante circle again, and Austin gets around to shove Dante to ropes. Dante BLASTS Colten before the cheap shot! Dante then goes up and over Austin, only for Austin to pull hair! The ref reprimands, but misses Colten HOTSHOT Dante down! Fans boo as Austin stomps and Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Austin whips Dante out of the ring, then taunts Darius to distract the ref. Colten stomps away on Dante! Colten puts Dante in before anyone notices, and Austin bumps Dante off buckles. Tag to Colten, he stomps Dante, but lets off as the ref reprimands. Colten stomps some more, he and Austin taunt Independence and Darius, then Colten drags Dante up. Colten DECKS Dante, then mocks the fans. Colten ROCKS Dante, ROCKS him again, then suplexes. Cover, TWO! Colten stays between the Martin brothers, drags Dante over and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Austin, he stomps Dante now, then digs his boots in.
The ref reprimands but Austin mocks the fans rallying for Dante. Austin lets off and Colten CHOKES Dante! Colten lets off Dante before he gets caught, and Austin tags Colten in. Colten drags Dante up, whips him to ropes, and the Gunns body shot, knee lift and LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Colten stays between the Martins again, drags Dante up and whips him to the corner. Colten runs in but Dante dodges the splash! Austin tags in and hurries to stop Dante. Austin shoves Dante down, but Dante fakes Austin out to go under! Austin still grabs a leg, tags Colten back in, and the Gunns double back suplex! But Dante lands on his feet!
Dynamite returns to single picture, Dante goes over Austin, over Colten, and tags in Darius! Darius rallies on the Gunns and fans fire up! Darius hits an atomic drop on Austin, then LARIATS Colten! Mule kick for Austin, and Darius whips him at Colten. Austin reverses but Darius uses that to UPPERCUT Colten! Austin runs back in, but is sent into Colten! Darius uses Austin to get up and ENZIGURI Colten! Darius then GERMAN SUPLEXES Austin, and STANDING SPANISH FLIES Colten! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Darius drags Colten up. Tag to Dante, Top Flight double whip, but Colten ducks and tags Austin!
Darius leaps to CROSSBODY Colten! Austin runs in, but into a hall nelson SLAM! cover, TWO!! Dante keeps cool, he goes to the corner, but Colten grabs his leg! Dante kicks Colten away, Darius DIVES onto Colten to hit him into railing! Dante GAMANGIRIS Austin, goes up and up and NOSEDIVES!! Cover, Colten breaks it!! Fans boo but Colten was within the rules. Wait, is that THE KINGDOM!? Mike Bennett & Matt Taven are mugging Darius over their ROH losses! But Dante FLIES out onto them! Direct hit and fans fire up! Dante hurries back up, springboards again, but Austin gets under!
Colten gets in, Dante runs into a 3:10 TO YUMA!! Cover, the Gunns win!
Winners: The Gunns, by pinfall (still AEW World Tag Team Champions)
Fans boo that the Gunns win, but Darius is pissed at The Kingdom! Darius chases off Mike & Matt, will Top Flight get revenge in ROH? As for the Gunns, they hear FTR coming! Fans fire up again as Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler step out on stage with mics in their hands! Colten gets a mic to have the FTR music stop. Colten says no one wants to hear that song and no one wants to see FTR. Fans boo because they disagree. FTR says they’re not here to fight. They’re here to talk business. Well, no one wants to hear you talk! The Gunns don’t like or respect FTR. And guess what? FTR are LOSERS! They lost three sets of belts, and lost to the Gunns!
There is nothing FTR can say or offer them to get a rematch. NOTHING! Nothing? So like, if they said they’ll never challenge the Gunns again for those titles should they lose- NO! Do you not hear what Austin is saying, “you hillbillies? NOTHING! There’s NOTHING! What do you have to offer?! NOTHING!!” Then if the Gunns wanna prove their first win wasn’t a fluke, should they win against FTR again, FTR will never tag together in AEW again. Oh, the break up? So heartbreaking! LOOK AT HIS FACE! NOTHING!! Okay, okay. Dax says if FTR can’t beat the Gunns to win the AEW World Tag Team Championships, FTR will just quit AEW.
Fans boo, but it seems that got through to the Gunns. If the Gunns beat FTR again, FTR leaves AEW forever? Yes, that’s what Dax said. Well, in that case, deal! The Gunns and FTR shake on it, but then Gunns literally spin in FTR’s faces! The Gunns run for it, but the match is coming either way. Will the “ASS~ BOYS!” get their asses kicked? Or will they be the team that banishes FTR from AEW?
Backstage interview with Jade Cargill, Leila Grey & Mark Sterling.
Renee Paquette is with the AEW TBS Champion, her Last Baddie Standing and her legal representation. Renee says that Taya Valkyrie is All Elite now, and she has her eye on the TBS title. What is Jade’s reaction to that? “Renee, cut the sh*t. We had this Taya girl come in and interrupt my moment to answer an open challenge that was already closed, baby girl. And then, had the audacity to use my finisher. Mark, tie this up.” Sterling has a document, it is a Cease & Desist order. This will be sent to Taya Valkyrie, telling Taya that she is no longer allowed to use the chicken wing facebuster, which is also Jade’s move, as her finisher.
Leila says that she should deliver this document to Taya personally, this Saturday on Rampage. Because she has a few words of her own for Taya. So that’s an official challenge? Yes. Welcome to #ThatBitchShow. Will La Wera Loca have a jaded response to this frivolous lawsuit?
No Disqualifications: Hook VS Stokely Hathaway!
An injured arm turned into a suspension turned into a settlement turned into a high stakes bet that The Firm lost, and now it has resulted in this match. And though Ethan Page, Matt Hardy, Isiah Kassidy, Lee Moriarty & “Big Bill” Morrissey see Stokely off, they can’t stay per the stipulations of the bet. As the introduction says, “He’s not as large as the men he represents, he has the heart of a lion and the wisdom of an owl.” But will any of that help him defeat The Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil?
As Hook makes his entrance, Stokely grabs the mic to say, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I’ve got some breaking news! I spoke to Dr. Simpson (he means Sampson) earlier, and he said I am not medically cleared to compete. I know, I know. I wanted to so bad. And I would also, what a coinky-dink, announce that I am retiring.” What? Stokely thanks all 12 of his fands, God bless! Justin, here, doctor’s note. Make it official. Justin takes the note, and it reads, “He is SICK.” Justin says that with all due respect, that’s a receipt for Wingstop. The ref RIPS the receipt! And the bell rings! Fans fire up and Hook is ready, so Stokely bails!
Stokely runs around the ring, out to the crowd, but Hook pursues! Fans fire up as Hook chases Stokely down, drags him back, CLUBS him, then brings him over to KNEE and TOSS! Stokely ends up at ringside again and fans are thunderous! Hook stalks Stokely, Stokely runs in to UPPERCUT, but Stokely bounces off of Hook! Stokely scurries away, gets back up, and runs in, but into a leg capture! EL CAMINO to the floor! Fans fire up as Hook drags Stokely up, puts him in the ring, and then looks under the ring. Fans fire up more, because here comes a SPARE GUARD RAIL! Hook puts that in the ring while the Firm can only watch.
Hardy tries to calm the group down, Stokely can take care of himself with things getting “hardcore.” Ethan says no he can’t, they didn’t practice any of the hardcore stuff! Stokely bails out again but Hook puts the railing in a corner. Hook drags Stokely up but Stokely BLASTS Hook with the fire extinguisher! Fans boo but Stokely gets a chair! Stokely smacks the steps a couple times, he says, “I’m not a killer, but don’t push me! That’s Tupac.” Stokely hurries in, fans rally up, and Stokely swings, but Hook blocks! Hook BOOTS Stokely, then SMACKS him on the back! And again! And again! And again!
Hook throws the chair aside, Stokely is barely moving! But Hook drags Stokely up to EL CAMINO onto the railing! The railing BENDS! Hook drags Stokely off the railing, covers, but then pulls him up at TWO! Hook wants REDRUM!!! Stokely is OUT, Hook wins!
Winner: Hook, by submission
The FTW Champion could’ve ended it sooner, but he chose to teach Stokely a lesson: Do not get on Hook’s bad side. Hardy says Ethan must avenge Stokely! Ethan can beat Hook! Hardy is gonna get a match made right now! All Ego is ready, but will he be ready when they #SendHook?
Adam Cole is here!
Fans fire up as the Undisputed One heads to the ring. Naturally, everyone joins in on the “BOOM!” and “ADAM COLE BAYBAY!” Cole gets the mic and says, “Wow. Hey, hey, I think I know the answer to this, but who’s ready for Storytime with Adam Cole, baybay?” Everyone cheers! Cole continues with, “Seven days. We are just seven days away from me making my in-ring return here in AEW. And listen, I know I’ve talked a ton about my struggles and what I went through, but as far as how I’m feeling right now? Guys, I feel freaking great. I have never been more ready, never been more prepared, to get back in this ring, doing what I love, and that is wrestle for AEW.”
Fans are fired up, and Cole knows everyone has questions. “The biggest one being: Who is my opponent going to be on March 29th?” Fans echo, “Who? Who? Who?” Cole starts to speak, but here comes Daniel Garcia! Fans boo as Red Death has the mic to say, “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Who’s ready for Storytime with Daniel Garcia, baybay?” Garcia knows Cole’s been gone awhile, so here’s an update on a few things. Fans tell Garcia to STFU already but Garcia says since Cole’s been gone, Garcia’s become a real veteran in AEW. All the boys in the back respect him so much that he is a locker room leader!
Fans boo more but Garcia says as locker room leader, it is his duty to come out here to not only welcome Cole back, but to put him in his place, too. Garcia says Cole may not remember, but here’s an update on what Garcia’s been doing the last nine months while Cole was home, “playing stupid video games on Twitch.” Cole smirks but allows it. Brody King: beat him! Ricky Starks: beat him! Bryan Danielson: Garcia beat him, too. Garcia’s main-evented more AEW programming over the past year than anyone else on the roster! Garcia is the lifeblood that pumps through this company. And he’s to respect Cole? To welcome Cole back? Where’s Garcia’s warm welcome?
Where is Garcia’s respect when he’s been here, been doing this, and proved himself as one of the best pro-wrest- Oops. Freudian slip there? Garcia corrects himself, “Sports entertainers on the planet today!” That’s what Garcia is! So what makes Cole so special? “What makes me special? When they ring the freakin’ bell, that’s what makes me special! That’s what makes m e special.” Cole admits he likes Garcia. Garcia is really, really good. And some day, he could be leading the charge in AEW. The problem is the company he keeps.
“The Jericho Appreciation Society, they’ve done a great job of giving you this false sense of security. This overconfidence, which sometimes is good, and sometimes is bad. But let me remind you, even me not wrestling for nine months, I am still Adam Cole Baybay. I am a multi-time world champion. I have traveled the globe, fought and beat some of the very best! As a matter of fact, while I was sitting at home for nine months, I was wondering if I’d ever get the chance to wrestle again, hoping, praying, willing to do anything for a second chance. And looks like I found that second chance.”
Fans fire up and Cole says if Garcia is crazy enough to want the match, then dammit, he’s on! Adam Cole VS Daniel Garcia, first-time-ever, next week on Dynamite! But Cole will remind Garcia of something: “This is not just my return match; this is a statement. It’s a statement to the entire locker room that one of the best damn pro-wrestlers on the planet is BACK, baybay.” Fans are fired up for “ADAM COLE! ADAM COLE!” Cole hopes Garcia realizes what he’ sin for. Because Cole promises next week will be a great night. A great night for Cole, for the fans, but for Garcia… Not so much. “See you next week, Garcia. BOOM.”
Cole is ready, Garcia is ready, but will the Dragonslayer stay a great sports enner-tay-ners? Or will the pro-wrestler in him rise to the surface against one of the greatest pro-wrestlers alive today?
Alex Marvez is outside The Elite’s locker room.
Marvez can hear a conversation going on inside, and he steps inside. Callis and Omega are talking, and Callis wants Marvez to hold on. What is Omega’s concern here? Omega’s concern is that his best friends left in an ambulance! He should’ve gone with them! Callis says he sent Cutler and Nakazawa with them. Omega has a match tonight! Hear Callis out. He’s a glass half full kind of guy. Injuries happen, but hear him out. The Bucks going to the hospital might’ve been the best thing for Omega and Callis. It allows for focus! Omega is in a singles match, the God of Pro-Wrestling is back! “Those kids will be fine in a few months.”
Callis now has Marvez join in. “Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo is gonna blow the roof off! The God of Pro-Wrestling is BACK, and it starts tonight on Dynamite! Now get out.” Marvez throws this back to ringside, but is Callis only thinking of his benefit, not Kenny’s?
Jon Moxley w/ The Blackpool Combat Club VS Stu Grayson w/ The Dark Order!
The Maniac, along with Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta, have torn into the Dark Order from Silver to Reynolds to Evil Uno. They did all that to anger Hangman Page, but they’ve also angered #PlayerTwo! Moxley may be #ForgedByCombat, but will he survive someone born and bred for combat?
The bell rings and Stu RAMS Moxley into a corner! Fans fire up as Stu fires off on Moxley but lets off as the ref counts. Moxley turns things around to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Moxley pie faces Stu, but Stu turns things around to CHOP back! Stu stalks Moxley to another corner, KNEES him and CLUBS him, then stalks him to a third corner. Moxley kicks low, ROCKS Stu with a forearm, then another, then digs his boots in. The ref counts, Moxley steps off at 4, then Moxley drags Stu up to headlock takeover. Stu keeps his shoulders up, the Dark Order coaches him up but Moxley gets a knuckle lock cover. TWO as Stu gets his left arm up.
Moxley pushes the hand down, covers, TWO as Stu gets the right arm up. Moxley pushes that arm down again, covers, ONE as Stu gets his left arm back up. Stu fights to his feet but Moxley kicks low. Moxley headlocks, Stu powers out but Moxley RAMS him! Moxley runs, but Stu RAMS him! Moxley runs in, clips Stu but is sent out of the ring. Stu hurries out after Moxley, Moxley throws a chair! Stu avoids it, ROCKS Moxley and puts him in the ring. Moxley kicks back, but Stu RANAS! Stu fires forearms, CHOPS Moxley in the corner, then throws knees. Stu whips corner to corner, Moxley reverses and avoids the up ‘n’ over!
Moxley reels Stu in for a SAIDO! Stu staggers up but then flops out to the apron. Moxley runs to BLAST Stu off and to the barriers! Moxley flips Stu off while Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Yuta & Claudio taunt Stu as the ring count climbs. The Dark Order coaches Stu up and he gets in the ring at 5 of 10, but Moxley is right on him. Stu throws a forearm, then another, and another, and another! But Moxley ROCKS Stu with just one! Stu falls over and Claudio yawns. It seems this isn’t competitive enough for the Swiss Superman. Moxley has the legs, he stomps Stu in the stomach, then ties the legs up. But Stu fights back with fists! Moxley still powers Stu into the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Stu endures as Moxley sits deep, and he reaches out to the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Moxley lets off at 4.
Moxley drags Stu up to CHOP, but Stu CHOPS back! Stu fires forearms, whips, and DROPKICKS Moxley! Moxley goes to a corner, Stu is after hm with a whip, but Moxley reverses to clothesline! Moxley then brings Stu out to X-PLEX! Moxley paces around, the BCC applauds, but the Dark Order coaches Stu. Moxley reels Stu in, lifts him, and hooks the legs to hit the GOTCH PILEDRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Stu is still in this, but Moxley has the knuckle locks back. Dynamite returns to single picture as Moxley rains down the DRAGON STOMPS! Cover, TWO!! Stu hangs tough again, but Moxley just taunts him.
Fans rally, Stu rises, and Moxley KICKS him in the chest! And KICKS him again! Moxley eggs Stu on, then KICKS him more! Moxley SLAPS Stu! Stu snarls and stands up to fire off forearms! Stu whips, Moxley reverses but Stu CLOBBERS him! Stu dodges, tilt-o-whirls and REVERSE DDTS! Then he rains down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Fans fire up as Stu gives Moxley a taste of his own medicine! And then the SIDE EFFECT! SPRINGBOARD MARIPOSA! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives and Stu grows frustrated. Stu hurries up a corner, but Yuta distracts! Fans boo but the Dark Order storm up on the BCC!
Stu decides to change course, he ARIHARA MOONSAULTS onto Yuta & Claudio! But Moxley DIVES onto Stu! Moxley puts Stu in the ring, hurries after him, but Stu BOOTS Moxley down! Stu hurries back up top, for the 450 SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives again and Stu is shocked! But Stu slashes the throat and drags Moxley up. Torture rack, but Moxley slips off right into the BULLY CHOKE!! Stu endures, but he’s turning red! Moxley shifts to the facelock to throw in KNEE after KNEE! Then he shifts to the REAR NAKED CHOKE! But Stu fights up to his feet! Fans fire up but Stu is fading again!
But Stu is still on his feet, and he revives! BACKPACK CANNONBALL!! Both men crash into buckles and Stu is free! Fans are thunderous again and Moxley sputters back to his feet. Moxley brings Stu up, but Stu slips out of the underhooks! PELE!! Moxley falls down and the BCC coach him up. Stu goes back to a corner, climbs back up top, but Moxley ROCKS him first! Moxley climbs, CLUBS away on Stu, then CLAWS Stu’s back. Moxley HEADBUTTS Stu, brings him up into underhooks! SUPER DEATH RIDER!! Cover, Moxley wins!!
Winner: Jon Moxley, by pinfall
The Dark Order hurry into the ring and Moxley backs off, there won’t be any extracurriculars here. But will the Dark Order ever get payback on the mean SOBs in the BCC?
Backstage interview with Ricky Starks.
Renee says she can feel the frustration coming off The Absolute. The back ‘n’ forth with him and Juice Robinson, where do they stand? You tell him! Starks is “sick and tired of talking back and forth. No action, all talk.” Starks doesn’t wanna stand around, take time off his vacation, just to say Juice, he doesn’t like that you attacked him from behind. That’s cool and all, but whatever! How about this, though? Saturday Night Rampage, Starks is done talking. If Juice wants to face him man to man, then he can find Starks on Rampage! If not, just stop! Starks is over it, he is so sick of it! This is the craziest thing he’s been a part of his whole life!
Starks is issuing the open challenge to Juice. If Juice accepts it or not, is a man or not, Starks doesn’t give a damn anymore. The Absolute will be waiting, but will the Booster oblige?
AEW presents an all-new episode of QTV!
QT Marshall says great job last week in their debut, keep the “credibility train” rolling. CHOO-CHOO~! He needs scoops! Harley Cameron says she actually has discovered a “hot new prospect.” Goes by the name of Rey Fenix. And actually, here’s some footage. Hobbs POUNCING Fenix into buckles int heir TNT title match, and the spinebuster, and the Town Business. Everyone has a laugh, and QT says, “Imagine being in the Lucha Brothers, and your own lucha brother doesn’t come out to help you.” Aaron Solo says there is definitely some miedo! Then he laughs while also puffing mouth spray…?
QT asks who the hecc is Alex Abrahantes? Harley says Alex should work on his “character development.” Speaking of, how about Solo stealing Wardlow’s identity and freezing all of his accounts? Oopsie~! Yeah, Wardlow’s gonna lose his house and car, too! And Solo hacked into some observer’s accounts, started this whole thing about hotels. HAHA! QT just got a call from Hobbs. This Saturday on Rampage, another Open Challenge for the TNT title! Can’t wait to see who is the next chapter in the Book of Hobbs. Well, wait no longer! PENTA wants payback for Fenix as he answers the call! Will Hobbs be the one with some fear?
Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts VS Skye Blue!
The Lightning From Down Under has been striking down “spoiled rookies” again and again, but in the Dark. Will she do so again in the spotlight of Dynamite? Or will Skye roll the Storm away?
The bell rings and Storm BLASTS Skye with a forearm! Then she stomps a mudhole into Skye in the corner! The ref counts, Storm lets off but she grins and soaks up the heat. Soho & Saraya mock Skye, then Storm bumps her off buckles., Skye elbows back, fires forearms in return, and the fans fire up! But Storm knees low! Storm whips Skye, Skye kicks back! Skye ROCKS Storm again and again, but Storm shoves her away. Skye comes back, spins Storm for a KNEE SMASH and a DROPKICK! Storm bails out, fans fire up and Skye goes to the apron! FLYING RANA! Fans fire up with Skye but Saraya is mad.
Skye puts Storm in the ring, climbs up the corner, but Storm ROCKS her! Skye falls to the apron, then Storm HIP ATTACKS Skye to the floor! Storm distracts the ref, allowing Soho & Saraya to stomp away on Skye! Fans boo but the Outcasts get away with it! Saraya says, “This is OUR house!” Storm goes out to fetch Skye, and RAMS her into the apron. Storm CHOPS Skye against the post, then bumps her off the other. Storm CHOPS Skye again! Saraya says do it again! Storm puts some stank on this one, but Skye ducks, so the chop hits POST! Saraya & Soho panic as Storm clutches her fingers! Skye then runs in, but Storm dodges so Soho gets DECKED!
Storm CLOBBERS Skye from behind while the ring count climbs. Storm refreshes the ring count, Saraya shouts at Skye, and Storm CHOPS Skye again. Storm stalks Skye around the way as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Storm drags Skye around to snap suplex her to the floor! Storm flexes, perhaps taunting Jamie Hayter wherever she’s watching this from, and then she goes back for Skye. Storm puts Skye in the ring, flexes more, then drags Skye up. Storm whips Skye to ropes, BOOTS her down, covers, ONE! Cover again, TWO! Another cover, TWO!! Skye is still in this but Storm clamps on with a full nelson. Storm leans on the hold, thrashes Skye around, but Skye endures. Skye fights up, but Storm throws her down by her hair! The ref reprimands but Storm just stalks Skye. Storm kicks Skye around, has her in the corner, and digs her boot in.
The ref counts, Storm stomps but lets off at 4. Storm drags Skye up to snap suplex! Storm grins then stalks Skye. Storm drags Skye up to snap suplex again! Storm flexes more, stalks Skye to another corner, then wrenches her hair to TOSS her across the way! The ref reprimands but Storm just wrenches hair and TOSSES Skye again! Dynamite returns to single picture as Storm soaks up the heat. But Skye shoves Storm down! And then TOSSES Storm by her hair! And again! Skye fires up, runs corner to corner, but Storm puts her on the apron. Skye ROUNDHOUSES! Skye climbs up, to CROSSBODY!
Fans fire up, Skye keeps moving, she ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl headscissor! Storm ends up on ropes, Skye runs to SHINING WIZARD! Snapmare and SUPER- NO, Storm blocks and spins Skye, but Skye BASEMENT ENZIGURIS! Cover, TWO!! Storm survives and Skye grows frustrated. Saraya & Soho are also frustrated, they rally for Storm but the fans rally for Skye. Saraya tells the fans to shut up! Skye runs, hops on, but Storm shrugs her off! Skye SUPERKICKS! Skye runs, into a THESZ PRESS! Storm rains down fists, then she snarls as she stands back up. Storm gets the legs, but Skye kicks her away!
Skye runs in, only for Storm to spin her around! Storm uses the ropes, TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!! Skye survives and fans fire up! Saraya is furious but the ref says the count was fair. Skye goes to a corner but Storm says kiss this. SWEET HIP- NO, Skye picks the ankle! Skye KNEES Storm, runs, avoids Soho’s swipe, and she hits CODE BLUE!! But Soho is still distracting the ref!! Skye would’ve had this if not for Soho! Skye gets in Soho’s face, swings at her, but Storm runs in! Skye sends Storm into Soho, rolls and bridges, TWO!!! Storm stands, into a BOOT! Skye full nelsons, Storm arm-drags free to SHOTGUN Skye down!
Saraya says Storm has this now! Storm says kiss this, and here comes SWEET HIP MUSIC!! GERMAN SUPLEX, and then STORM ZERO!! Cover, Storm wins!
Winner: Toni Storm, by pinfall
The Outcasts with the assist, but now they bring out the spray paint! Fans boo as the Outcast scare off the ref, then surround Skye! But here comes Riho and Willow! Just like last week, Riho has the pipe!! Riho runs the Outcast off and warns them. The Outcasts leave for now, having gotten the win. Will Riho, Willow and Skye start thinking of sticking together from now on?
The AEW medical staff checks on Stu Grayson.
They’re working on his left arm, where did they feel it pop? But then Moxley sneaks up to say, “It’s just business.” And he puts on the SLEEPER!! Claudio & Yuta TOSS the medics aside! Stu is all alone as Moxley chokes him out, then SMACKS him off a trunk! The BCC give Stu the icepack back then leave, what will Hangman & the Dark Order have to say about this?
Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo!
The AAA Mega Championship match that was meant to happen in December of 2021 was denied because of injury and misfortune. But now we are all fortunate enough to have this match happen here! “HE was the longest reigning Mega Champion at 765 days, 292 days more than El Hijo del Vikingo. HE never lost that title. HE is undefeated in singles matches in Mexico and also on Dynamite. Many people say HE is also undefeated at life. HE is often complimented on his accomplishments, matches, chiseled physique and hair, yet he is personally proud of his win-loss record in Independence, Missouri, which is better than his record of 1-1 in… NOOOORTH CAROLINA~!
“He arrives tonight after his 833 mile journey from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Weighing 224 pounds, HE is…! KENNY! OOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEGAAAAAA~!” The fans go wild for the Cleaner, the Best Bout Machine, and Don Callis’ God of Pro-Wrestling, but will Omega prove he is better than the Mega Champion?
But as Omega makes his way down the ramp, El Hijo del Vikingo DIVES onto him! Fans fire up, EHDV throws off his cape, then he runs again, to FLY! Direct hit again and Independence is thunderous! EHDV puts Omega in the ring, springboards and MISSILE DROPKICKS! Omega ends up in a corner, EHDV runs in to clothesline! EHDV fires off forearms, but Omega turns it around to fire them back! The ref wants them to let off, this isn’t a match yet! Omega rains down fists, lets off, and now the bell rings! Fans are thunderous as Omega stomps EHDV down. Omega drags EHDV up, whips him corner to corner, but EHDV slips out to the apron!
Omega hits buckles, then EHDV ENZIGURIS! And GAMANGIRIS! EHDV climbs up, and jumps to IMPOLODER DRAGONRANA! Omega goes flying, then staggers up into the SCREW HIGH KICK! Omega’s on the ropes, EHDV runs to DOUBLE KNEE him through the ropes! Omega falls to the floor, EHDV refreshes the count, and fans say “This is Awesome!” EHDV SHOOTING STAR PRESSES to the floor! A bit double-edged, but fans lose their minds! Callis protests, the ring count climbs, but EHDV puts Omega in the ring. EHDV aims, slingshots and then springboards to 450 SPLASH! Cover, TWO!!
Omega goes to a corner, EHDV runs in to GAMANGIRI again! Omega staggers away, EHDV pursues but Omega CHOPS! And CHOPS again! EHDV falls over but Omega stalks him to a corner. Omega brings EHDV up to JAB! And JAB! fans rally and duel, Omega drags EHDV up to whip. Omega scoops EHDV for a tilt-o-whirl BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Omega drags EHDV back up fast, to fisherman BUSTER! Cover, TWO! EHDV hangs tough and Omega is frustrated but the fans are loving this. Omega stalks EHDV to the ropes, scrapes him to the apron, and then Omega goes out to follow EHDV.
Omega CLUBS EHDV, and whips him hard into barriers! EHDV falls in a heap, but Omega goes looking under the ring. Omega brings out a TABLE! Fans fire up for that, and Omega stands that table up near the ring. The ref reprimands, this isn’t a Tables match or anything like that. But fans chant, “WE WANT TABLES!” as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Omega drags EHDV up, puts him in the ring, and Omega storms up to scoop and BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Omega clamps on with an armlock and chinbar, but he also fishhooks EHDV’s face! The ref reprimands, Omega lets off, but then pulls on EHDV’s hair! The ref counts but Omega lets off at 4. Omega looms over EHDV, stomps him, stomps him more, then springboard stomps! Omega drags EHDV around to KNEE him in the side! And again! Cover, TWO! EHDV hangs tough but Omega just snarls. Omega drags EHDV up to CHOP him back down! Omega drags EHDV up again to CLUB him back down!
Omega drags EHDV up at the ropes, ROCKS him with a right hand, then ROCKS him again! And again! And again! The ref reprimands and counts, Omega lets off, but then Omega CHOKES EHDV with his foot! Dynamite returns, the fans boo and the ref counts, but Omega lets off at 4 again. Omega ROCKS EHDV again, JABS him, then whips him to ropes. EHDV ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl RANA! Omega goes to the apron, fans fire up as EHDV pursues! EHDV ROCKS Omega, but Omega tomahawk chops back! EHDV CHOPS, but Omega CHOPS! EHDV CHOPS back, so Omega BOOTS him! Omega runs in, goes up, and he MONKEY FLIPS EHDV on the apron!
EHDV falls to the floor while fans lose minds over how tight that one was. Omega drags EHDV up to the apron, and he grins as he looks at the table he set up. Omega drags EHDV up, the ref reprimands but Omega full nelsons! EHDV slips free to GAMANGIRI again! EHDV goes up top, balances on the post, and FLYING DRAGONRANAS!! Fans are thunderous as Omega hits the floor! Omega flounders into the ring, EHDV shoves him further in. Fans say “This is Awesome!” as both men go to corners. EHDV runs corner to corner to clothesline! EHDV hoists Omega up top, and GAMANGIRIS yet again!
EHDV climbs up after Omega, fans fire up again as they start to brawl! Omega HEADBUTTS, reels EHDV in, and SUPER POWER- STEINER!!! EHDV reverses just in time, Omega clutches his head! EHDV goes to the ropes, stands from the middle and PHOENIX SPLASHES in!!! Cover, TWO?!?! Omega survives by nanoseconds!! Independence is electric as both men rise up! They hope these two “FIGHT FOREVER!” but it has to end somehow! EHDV throws a forearm, a SOBAT, and then he runs to springboard, into a POWERBOMB!! And then another POWERBOMB! Roll through and V-TRIGGER!! Cover, TWO!!!
Omega is furious as EHDV survives! Omega slashes his throat, drags EHDV up, and he full nelsons for a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Omega snarls, he puts EHDV on the ropes and takes aim. BANG and V-TRIGGER!! But that’s not the end of it! Omega drags EHDV up, deadweight as he is, and Electric Chair Lifts! But EHDV throws down fists! EHDV hops down, UPPERCUTS, then goes up and up to FLYING POISON-RANA!!! Omega tumbles to the apron, and EHDV crawls over to push him onto the table! EHDV builds speed while fans fire up, and he goes up to ESCALARA 630 SENTON through the table!!!!
Independence is volcanic for “A E DUB! A E DUB!” while Callis is freaking out! Both men are down in the wreckage as the ring count starts. EHDV crawls away at 3 of 10, Omega finally stirs at 4. Both men drag themselves up at 6, stand at “OCHO!” And both men slide in at 9! EHDV covers, TWO!!! Omega is still in this and EHDV is beside himself! Fans rally up, both men rise again, and EHDV throws a haymaker! Omega gives it back, they go back and forth, faster and faster! They go forearm for forearm, stand up, and keep throwing shots! EHDV gets the edge, SOBATS, runs, into a V-TRIGGER!!
Omega whips, EHDV rolls up and SUNSET FLIP BOMBS! TWO?!?!? Omega narrowly escapes again and even HE is shocked! But EHDV hurries to a corner and climbs up top! Omega flounders in the drop zone, EHDV 630 SENTONS but FLOPS as Omega moves!! EHDV flounders up, into a V-TRIGGER!!! Omega drags EHDV up, Electric Chair Lifts, ONE WINGED ANGEL!!!! Cover, OMEGA WINS!
Winner: Kenny Omega, by pinfall
This was a dream match the moment it was made, but this became an all-time classic by the end! Tony Schiavone joins Callis and Omega in the ring to say this was an incredible match. Omega is back in singles competition, and that was one for the ages! Omega thanks Schiavone for that. The more time goes by, the more he wonders if he can still do this kind of stuff for the fans. Wait, wait! THE BCC JUMPS OMEGA!! Moxley, Claudio & Yuta all mug Omega, and fans boo while Callis can only shout at the ref to stop this! The BCC stand Omega up so they can throw body shots and haymakers!
Fans continue to boo, but wait! Sirens? An ambulance has returned? For who? Wait, HANGMAN is driving it!! The Cowboy has a 2×4, with nails in it! Fans are going nuts for “COWBOY SH*T!” while the BCC stomp away on Omega. But here comes Hangman, wood in hand! The BCC decide to bail! Callis checks on Omega but the damage has been done. Hangman wants Moxley to get his ass back in here, but he stays back. Callis tries to calm Hangman down, but he almost gets 2×4 to the face! Callis keeps pulling at Hangman’s arm to hold him back, but Hangman shakes free and Callis falls right down! Omega comes to, and misunderstands why Callis is down!
Callis blames Hangman but Hangman says he didn’t do anything to Don! Omega and Hangman argue, Callis cowers behind Omega, and Omega takes Callis’ side. Fans boo, but is this just Callis keeping Omega all to himself?
A great episode of Dynamite, but it already feels like they’re gonna keep things going until Double or Nothing, no big thing for April. We got a great promo out of the Four Young Pillars, and MJF is making the other three run the #1 contender race like he did Bryan Danielson from now until, I dunno, probably May 3rd so that May can focus on building MJF VS his challenger. Hard to say who it’ll be, but Darby’s off to a good start with that great Six Man Tag. Darby, Sting and Cassidy made an eclectic but great combination, especially with Sting borrowing some Freshly Squeezed tactics. And Cassidy’s International Championship card is open to just about anyone at this point.
Really good tag title match, but I should’ve figured shenanigans would help The Gunns retain. The Kingdom and Top Flight are solidly ROH Tag title contenders with #ReachForTheSky needing teams. Plus, The Gunns’ real story is with FTR, who came back to have a really good promo with them. Gunns VS FTR, Titles VS AEW contracts could honestly go either way. There’s a lot of talk out there of FTR going back to WWE since it’s under HHH right now, so this move could be how FTR exits AEW, but this could also be what guarantees FTR staying. Either way, this is going to be some really big stuff for the titles.
Good promo from Jade and her group, and you do have to appreciate Sterling’s gimmick of bringing about frivolous lawsuits on behalf of people to poke fun at wrestling tropes. The security guards finally got justice, even though they also got crushed by Wardlow, and now finishers that are exactly the same but with different names are being questioned. Pretty sure Leila loses the match and Taya tears up that document, though. Then it’ll be about who hits the chicken wing facebuster first to win that title. Jade has done an amazing job being an undefeated inaugural TBS Champion, but now is the time to move on to someone else so Jade can move on to the top title.
Great segment out of Hook, Stokely and The Firm. Great show from Stokely with trying to weasel out of this, then trying to run away from this, but of course he gets thrown around. Awesome use of spare guard railing, though. I figured Hook VS Ethan was going to be how this wraps up, can’t wait to see how that goes. And I appreciate Starks getting a little meta on the bad pacing of feuds. Starks VS Juice for Rampage, if it happens, will be great stuff, and maybe shenanigans helps Juice win to keep this going. Though, I feel like Starks and Juice could each be doing something better than spinning their wheels with each other. Give me Starks VS Hobbs and Orange VS Juice for those respective titles.
Speaking of which, only the second QTV segment and I’m just done with it. But they did point out the weird logic of Penta not being out there with Fenix last week. Penta VS Hobbs will probably go the same as Fenix VS Hobbs did, and Wardlow will come back for revenge. Also, another wrestling trope that needs poking at: Solo confessed to illegal activities but he won’t get investigated or arrested because it’s wrestling. If Sterling were a Face lawyer, he’d be right on Solo’s ass. But maybe Wardlow beats the crap out of Solo as his punishment, then he gets his shot at Hobbs at Double or Nothing to put this story to rest.
Great promo from Cole and Garcia, and I appreciate they had Garcia have that slip of the tongue. Garcia is of course enjoying the fun side of being a sports entertainer, showing off his personality and just doing whatever shenanigans he wants, but he also clearly enjoys the pro-wrestling stuff of just fighting. Garcia VS Cole is going to be awesome stuff, but Garcia and the JAS also have their story with the House of Black so who knows how the finish goes. Great match out of Storm VS Skye, and Skye looked great even in defeat. Another inconsistency in wrestling logic: Riho & Willow should’ve been ringside to start because they know The Outcasts will be up to no good. But I suppose that does give Riho & Willow their moment of heroism in running the Outcasts off.
I bring up that inconsistency in logic because that match was after Moxley VS Grayson, where both men had their allies ringside. The men can think to bring their boys but the women’s division can’t think to bring their friends along, when we’ve also always seen Britt have Rebel and/or Hayter and vice-versa? Anyway, great stuff out of Moxley VS Grayson, and Grayson also looked awesome even in defeat. The BCC apparently went after everyone Hangman considers a friend, as the Bucks were taken out off-camera by them, and then the BCC jump Grayson.
And then, for being a non-title TV main event, Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo went above and beyond anything I would’ve expected. There were some scary moments, like that Super Steiner counter to the powerbomb. But then again, it wouldn’t feel like an AAA match if there wasn’t some risk like that. BCC jumping Omega after he wins was a good way to keep the Elite reunion story going, but now there’s the new wrinkle of Don Callis wanting Omega to stay a singles star. To be fair, this is very much like the story of Callis, Omega and The Elite when AEW first got started. Callis wants Omega to return to that Omega, and he throws Hangman under the bus.
Another pro-wrestling logic thing is that no one watches the show back when it’s done, unless it helps the story. And I would hope Omega does that here to see what really happened as opposed to just trusting Callis and distrusting Omega. Or if not Omega, the Bucks can. The Bucks will have seen it on TV at the hospital (kayfabe) and The Bucks will tell Omega that Hangman didn’t hit Callis. Callis is also trying to recruit Konosuke, so it’d be great if Callis only comes out of this with one client. If Omega realizes not to trust Callis over The Elite, then Callis and Konosuke can stick together. If Omega still keeps Callis around, Konosuke can reject Callis to stay his own man.
My Score: 8.9/10
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Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (3/21/23)
Toni Storm gets Dark!
AEW Dark is on #ToniTime!
The Outcasts have drawn a line in the AEW Women’s Division, and are daring everyone else to cross it! Will Toni Storm strike down another “entitled rookie?”
- Juice Robinson VS Leon Ruffin; Juice wins.
- Kiera Hogan VS Leila Grey; Leila wins.
- The Iron Savages VS The Wingmen; The Iron Savages win.
- The Renegades VS Avery Breaux & Mafiosa; The Renegades win.
- Toni Storm VS Billie Starkz; Storm wins.
Another surprisingly short line-up for Dark, with a couple matches that could go either way. The Iron Savages, formerly Bear Country, and the Wingmen will be a good one, but I’m leaning towards Bronson & Boulder winning that. Kiera Hogan VS Leila Grey, former Baddie taking on Jade’s last sidekick standing, could also go either way, but I’m leaning towards Kiera. But it’ll be good to see Robyn & Charlette Renegade get a win here to build that unofficial Women’s Tag Division AEW has.
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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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Independence is Dynamite!
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Time for a grudge match!
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It all comes down to this!
Mitchell’s AEW Dark Results & Report! (3/21/23)
Toni Storm gets Dark!