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AJ’s WrestleMania 38 Sunday Results & Review

It’s WrestleMania Sunday, and AJ Balaz continues his diligent duties with another special Results & Review!

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WWE WrestleMania 38 Roman Reigns Double Champ

It’s WrestleMania Sunday, and AJ Balaz continues his diligent duties with another special Results & Review!

Alright. The first day was full of fun and a bunch of surprises but we still have some big matches going on with Edge and Styles, McAfee showing if he can beat Austin Theory and of course the massive Main Event, Winner Take All. Reigns and Lesnar for one more WrestleMania Main event.

Results:

The Street Profits vs Alpha Academy vs RK-Bro(c) for the RAW Tag Team Championship:  RK-Bro wins via RKO – *** TITLE DEFENSE!!

Omos vs Bobby Lashley – Lashley wins via Spear: ** ¾

Anything Goes: Sami Zayn vs Johnny Knoxville:  Johnny Knoxville wins via Literal Mouse Trap Cover – **** (It was fun. It was stupid. Don’t you judge me. That’s Andrew’s job)

Rhea & Liv vs Naomi & Sasha vs Shayna & Natalya vs Zelina & Carmella (c) for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Naomi & Sasha Banks win via Codebreaker/Facebuster Combo – ** ¾ –TITLE CHANGE!!!!

Edge vs AJ Styles: Edge wins via Spear – *** ¾

Sheamus & Ridge Holland (w/ Butch) vs The New Day: Ridge wins via Northern Grit – *

Pat McAfee vs Austin Theory: Pat McAfee wins via School Boy Roll Up – *** ¼

Pat McAfee vs Vince McMahon: Vince wins via Onside Kick – N/A (Entertaining but N/A)

Winner Take All: Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar for the Unified World Championship:  Reigns wins via Spear – *** ¾ TITLES UNIFIED!!!!!!

Review:

We start the show off, not with a match but the Game, The King of Kings showing up to give a Thank You to all of the fans and welcoming everyone to WrestleMania leaving the boots in the ring before our first match comes to happen.

The Street Profits vs Alpha Academy vs RK-Bro-

Riddle, Ford and Gable are the three to start and beat Gable out of the ring and all hell breaks loose as everyone each other out of the ring and we get Gable and Ford as the last two and Ford takes out everyone with a Tope over the corner and Gable takes the pile down with a Moonsault to the outside. Alpha Academy gets the tag in and takes out Riddle with Otis the legal man now and continues the assault on Riddle. The Academy goes to take care of business on Riddle until Ford comes in and becomes Gable’s target until Ford gets the tag into Angelo Dawkins and gets the hot tag in until Otis tags himself in and breaks a tag from Dawkins and Riddle claws to reach Randy and finally does.

Randy comes in at the right time, taking it to Montez Ford to the outside, Back Suplexing Ford and one for Gable as well as he comes back into the ring and both Riddle and Orton hit Hangman DDT’s. As RK Bro coil up, Alpha Academy pull the champs out of the ring and take out The Street Profits to take them apart with the Steiner Bulldog to the Profits and after more fighting, The Profits hit a Electric Chair/ Blockbuster and almost puts it away before Riddle hits an RKO to Montez Ford to stop his victory and Randy RKO’s Gable to get the victory.

Aftermath: The Profits come in, hand a Red Cup to RK-Bro and invite Gable Steveson to the ring for a solo cup and Chad Gable slaps it out of his hand, does his stupid shuuuuuush before getting some Gable on Gable violence.

Omos vs Bobby Lashley-

Lashley tries for a kick and Omos blocks it and hits some clubbing forearms to knock him down and Lashley tries to come back but gets dominated over and over again, even attempting to try to overpower Omos but failing. The only way Lashley gets the better of Omos is to step out of the way and get some strength in but each time he gets the edge, Omos gets the stength and stops Lashley’s attempts. Even as Lashley gets beaten down each time, he comes back with something up his sleeve and even gets a suplex on Omos. He spears the giant in the back to take him down again and delivers another to finish it off and take down the giant with one more Spear.

Johnny Knoxville vs Sami Zayn:

Sami starts off with a Helluva Kick and tosses Knoxville in the barricade in front of the Jackass crew and Sami investigates a little bit and gets sprayed with Fire Extinguisher and Sami gets back and hits Johnny with a cookie sheet, a crutch and trash can as Sami gets a nearfall and gets more weapons out. Sami gets more weapons out, even a Mouse Trapped Table and Knoxville grabs two trash can lids to play the symbols between the head of Sami. Johnny sets up the table in the corner and gets instantly reversed and we get some fun started with the Jackass crew and Ponis distracts Zayn until Knoxville goes for a roll up and a nearfall. Sami kicks the Partyboy under the rign and gets absolute shit kicks out of him by Wee Man, getting punched over and over and even gets fucking body slammed by Wee Man but Sami kicks him out of the ring.

Knoxville starts to get some Jackass props in, rolling a bowling ball to the nuts, kick to the nuts… the giant hand and even a tazer to the nuts as Sami Zayn goes into the Mouse Trap Table before pulling a giant mouse trap and gets the victory over Sami Zayn.

Rhea & Liv vs Naomi & Sasha vs Shayna & Natalya vs Zelina & Carmella-

Rhea and Sasha start it off with a test of Strength and after Sasha fails, they go for each others finishers for a bit until Liv tags in and the others come in to take apart the girls on the apron and Liv and Sasha go to do dueling Suicide Dives to take the match to just get it to a One on One. This match goes all over with tags, finishers and everything good and fun. Even got two Tower of Doom spots back to back is perfectly but the finish was the special moment because as Naomi and Sasha get frequent tags in to take down Carmella and we get new tag team champions and the first win at Mania for Sasha Banks.

Edge vs AJ Styles-

AJ starts to rush Edge but, Edge ducks out to play mind games with Aj before getting a Colalr and Elbow in and backs Edge into the corner, going for a wild strike and goes back to a collar and elbow but both are even until AJ gets the drop down into the Dropkick to take Edge down but Edge keeps it with the mind games and dodges each other’s move after a while, dodging a Clash and Spear before getting back to zero.

Edge starts again with the strikes and countering each other’s moves yet again until Styles gets a sliding knee onto Edge on the outside, beating him down until AJ takes Edge to the ring again, setting up a 450 Springboard and lands into the knees of Edge, taking over and beating Styles down, targeting the ribs of Styles.  Styles able to escape an abdominal stretch and gets some form of an escape as Edge grabs Styles for a Shoulder Breaker and takes the control back but hurting his leg further as Styles attempts to get something but misses a wild charge at Edge and eats the Corner Turnbuckle and Edge goes to prop a Superplex but Styles blocks it into a Suplex and starts to attack Edge quickly, getting blood flow back into Styles’ arm but Edge keeps going for the shoulder and ribs as Edge regains the control and takes some form of control but Styles blocks an apron attack and does a burst like DDT and attempts to go to the top and blocks whatever attempt AJ has but Styles fights back and lands a Torture Rack Powerbomb for a nearfall. Edge pops up after the Ushiguroshi but Edge floats over and hits the Edge-O-Cution to take AJ down.

Edge goes for a few strikes and AJ catches him with a German Suplex off a rebound and they get to a slug fest which AJ gets the better of the fight and Pele kicks Edge, going for a Calf Crusher now but Edge rolls out more and lands another Crossface to stop Styles and regains the tempo of the match and go to the apron. Edge looks to do something to the floor from the top rope but Styles comes in and stops it and AJ superplexes Edge on the apron, gets back in and actually lands the Superman 450 to get yet another nearfall. Styles readies the Phenomenal Forearm but misses. Edge runs to hit the spear but also misses into Styles hitting a Styles Clash for YET ANOTHER NEAR FALL.

Aj goes to set up another Phenomenal Forearm but, Damien Priest pops up to catch Styles off guard and Styles gets his Forearm caught with a Spear and a victory for this new Demonic Embrace.

Sheamus & Ridge Holland vs The New Day:

The pub lackeys jump The New Day instantly and pull Xavier out of the ring and the bell finally rings. Kofi hits the Trouble in Paradise, trying to get an early victory. Shaemus pulls Ridge out and Butch starts going insane to distract The New Day and… does surprisingly. Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick to stop Xavier, Ridge goes and hits a Northern Grit (Emerald Flowsion).

Pat McAfee vs Austin Theory-

Pat McAfee knocks the teeth out the little punk at least four time until Theory cheap shots Pat and takes McAfee dahn. Theory tosses Pat into the corner for Pat to dodge it, hitting a leaping European Uppercut like Shane and land a damn good Hurricanrana for a nearfall. Theory comes back and backbreaks McAfee and takes McAfee dahntan with more attacks to the lower back. As the match continues, the crowd starts to come alive for Pat and does actually get a reversal on a Suplex to stun Austin Theory. Theory gets up with the rope and rocked to the outside as McAfee grabs a headset and announces his own match and bounces Austin Theory’s head off the announce table.

As the match goes back to the ring, Pat takes too much time to the rope, going for a Swantahn Bomb but misses it. Theory goes to the top this time and Pat catches him, attempting the Superplex and Theory pushed him off, McAfee backflips off and box jumps up to land the Superplex. Pat gets a nearfall and goes to finish it with a Punt but Austin Theory starts to hit harder and goes for the A- TownDown but McAfee reverses it to take Theory dahn for the 1-2-3.

Aftermath: Pat celebrates and calls Vince into the ring and Vince tears the suit off, peeling the tie off and gets the shirt off with the Black Muscle Shirt. The match looks to start before Theory attacks Pat’s before the bell rings.

Vince McMahon vs Pat McAfee-

Vince lands two clotheslines and takes Pat down in the corner now too as Vince wipes his hands and smiles. Pat gets up every time, telling Vince lets go before Theory pulls Pat’s legs out and has him hit the post. Vince toys him, kicks over and over as Theory gets a football and has Vince parade around with it before punting the football into Pat’s ribs as Vince gets the pin. Pat should have enjoyed the first half and knew the second half would have been bad… y’know… like against the Saints.

Aftermath: Austin comes to the ring and we all know Austin can’t enjoy a McMahon’s success as Theory tries to attack Austin but gets hit with punches and Stunner. Vince realizes what is going on and Austin asks for some brews… and Vince doesn’t remember everytime Stone Cold hands him a beer and stuns McMahon (poorly… you take the move for 25 years and never can take it right). Pat is invited into the ring and drink some beers For The Stone Cold IPA Brand before getting kicked in the gut and takes by far the greatest Stone Cold Stunner sell I have ever fucking seen.

Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar-

Lesnar starts to undo his gloves and hamemrs away on the back of Roman, getting him to the corner and keeps beating the hell out of Roman, goes for a German Suplex but Roman slips out and lands three Belly to Belly Suplexes before lariating Roman out of the ring and following him out but hunts down Heyman for a good amount of time until Roman spears Lesnar through the barricade and Roman rolls back into the ring. Lesnar comes into the ring at the count of 9 and Reigns gets speared for a near fall. Roman goes to the corner and loads up for the Superman Punch and connects two suplex and the third gets countered into five German Suplexes until he takes Roman up for an F5 until he catches the third Superman Punch before readying the Spear, caught into the F5 and gets a nearfall. Lesnar picks Roman up for another but, rakes Brock’s eyes and spears Lesnar into the ref, setting up the championship title hit. Reigns wakes up the ref in time to get another nearfall. Roman gets himself back hyped and bounces off the ropes to spears Lesnar to the back and goes for the pin but Brock grabs the ropes. Roman goes for another spear but Lesnar catches the spear and has Reigns in the Kimora Lock. Paul Heyman comes to push the ropes into Reigns’ hand. Heyman pleas to get up and fight back and Lesnar gets one more F5 countered to get speared for us to acknowledge the Unified Champion.

Final Thoughts:

This was insanely entertaining and lived up to the hype that it was given so let’s run it down. Sasha and Vince are both no longer winless at WrestleMania with tonight, Edge seems to be getting some form of a New Brood going, Triple H introduces us to Mania with his boots in the ring, signifying that he is officially retired and McAfee lived his dream because if you tell me that whole thing wasn’t Pat being the happiest person ever in the world, you can find me in a canal with my phone dead with water damage and somehow Six-Hundred Dollars in my pocket with FuBu clothing.

This just goes to show that wrestling in 1999 reigns supreme. Cmon… Stone Cold wrestles one night and stuns a McMahon, Triple H, Undertaker and celebrity matches are some of the better matches on the card along with a Samoan coming out on top with the Main Championship? That’s 1999 in a nutshell. Great two nights, I might… I don’t know. The Newsies coming out over the New Day and the fustercluck of a Women’s Tag kind of saturated how good this night was compared to the other. I’ll give them equally 7 out of 10s.


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Opinion

King: Plotting The Return Of Randy Orton To WWE

Chris King is back with his look at the best scenario to bring Randy Orton back to WWE, and the perfect opponent for his first big match back.

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Randy Orton 4

Chris King is back with his look at the best scenario to bring Randy Orton back to WWE, and the perfect opponent for his first big match back.

I wanted to bring everyone’s attention to a superstar that’s being overshadowed right now, ‘The Viper’ Randy Orton. After RKBRO lost the Raw Tag Team Championships to The Uso’s, Orton vanished from the company. There was speculation about his serious back injury and, it wasn’t until The Viper’s wife herself posted a candid picture of Orton after successful surgery.

While the focus in WWE right now is either on The Bloodline, Bray Wyatt and Uncle Howdy, or the returning Cody Rhodes, I felt this was a good time to start plotting The Viper’s return to WWE.

Randy Orton’s Return to WWE

On the Raw-After-Mania ‘The American Nightmare’ opens the show after a tough battle over Roman Reigns to win the WWE Championship. Rhodes with tears in his eyes is giving an emotional promo about his family’s legacy, and how much this title means to him. The WWE Universe is chanting “You Deserve It,” and out comes Finn Balor flanked by The Judgement Day.

‘The Prince’ starts by congratulating the new champion for dethroning ‘The Tribal Chief’ but, now he wants his title shot. Rhodes being the resilient hero accepts Balor’s challenge for the main event. The American Nightmare and The Prince are putting on a clinic of a match, delivering multiple finishers but unable to put the other away. Judgement Day starts to interfere when Orton’s music blares throughout the arena. Orton takes out the heels and helps his former protege. Rhodes capitalizes and hits Crossroads for the 1.2.3.

The former Legacy members are celebrating and embracing with a hug as Rhodes goes to raise his newly-won title. In the blink of an eye, The Viper strikes and takes out Rhodes with an RKO Outta Nowhere! The champion is knocked out as Orton hoists the title above his head while trash-talking his now rival. Orton violently throws Rhodes out of the ring and delivers a nasty-looking draping DDT onto the floor.

The Build–And Culmination–of Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

Orton stares giving 2009 vibes as Rhodes’ head raises, so The Viper runs and delivers a punt kick. WWE officials come out and break things up and the champion is stretchered out of the arena. The show closes with Orton grinning over the destruction he has caused to his former protege. Over the next few months, Orton and Rhodes enter into an extremely personal rivalry over the coveted prize. We finally make it to SummerSlam where both men agree to raise the stakes and do war inside HELL IN A CELL!!!!

This is how I would book The Viper’s return to WWE. If you feel like this should be written differently, I’d love to hear your thoughts!


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Opinion

AJ’s Phenomenal Opinion: Bray Wyatt

So everyone loves Bray’s return right? Right? Well the McDonald’s Sprite spicy opinions of AJ…may feel differently.

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Well, just because my work schedule changed, doesn’t mean I’m not going to drop some opinions of mine, of which, I haven’t done too bad with. I got Three out of Five for my returns right a few months back and this is going to be about the last entry on that previous list. I knew for a fact that Bray Wyatt would return to the WWE in some way shape or form and time for some… controversy.

As my favorite ratings winner of 83 Weeks once said, Controversy Creates Cash and boy HOWDY… Do I have something to get off my chest here so sit back, order some Chairshot Merch and lets get on with Adam’s… Rants for a bit.

Initial Thoughts

Bray coming in and making a return to the WWE was an inevitability. Death, Taxes and I guess WWE Returns are always guaranteed anymore and maybe we could get some new creativity with a supernatural gimmick. Bray has always had that supernatural to him ever since he had the Wyatt Family in Erik Rowan, the late Luke Harper and in the end, Braun Strowman. The Wyatt’s had a control like no other and were beloved for a moment in the WWE.

Bray did a lot to make sure things were in motion but for some reason any massive feud he had, he failed. Following a bunch of injuries to the rest of his family and even releases later on, he seemed to at least get some traction going for him. WWE Champion, somehow got Randy Orton with him, Universal Championships and got those big match wins that eluded him in the Wyatt Family beginnings. Let me also say this as well, I actually liked the Firefly Funhouse Match with Cena as a “This is Your Life” match of sorts. I was tickled and entertained… Then much like Bray in character, something changed.

Dark and Terrible Lurk with Fiends

We had a lot to figure out during the Pandemic. Like A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT. Through it all though, WWE figured it out but the person that helped these types of ideas, soured them drastically. Lets go back to the WWE Championship run in 2017. Randy Orton won the Royal Rumble that year and he wouldn’t betray Bray, right? Well he does and Mania for the two is set, Orton against Wyatt for the WWE Championship and it was… terrible. Random images of maggots and decay (Not the IMPACT Stable) popping up into the ring as the match goes on and Randy still wins. Through head game attempts, Bray comes up short in the big match moment. That’s odd but maybe it will be a bigger pictu– and Jinder Mahal wins the Championship. Okay.

Wyatt returns as this Mister Rogers character and has a darkness inside of him with The Fiend. Now we had this amazing theory or maybe that’s what happened but the story was, anyone The Fiend fought, they revert back to their best selves. The Miz returned to be the A Lister, the guy who grabs a microphone that you love to hate. Finn Balor doesn’t have the Demon Gimmick anymore because after his loss, he’s the Prince again. The cocky guy that walks around because he is the best, he gives no care in the world. Seth Rollins, who he took the WWE Universal Championship from, went from a dorky sweetheart back to the asshole taking every opportunity that he could get because he’s that much of a weasel and when he lost… He lost to Goldberg. The one guy that has been the same since 1997. Drums, Pyro Bath, Spear, Jackhammer, “Who’s Next?” and during that time, he sucked at points. One of those Rollins matches was in a Hell In A Cell match, the red cage with the red lighting. Match ending with a Stoppage from the referee… INSIDE OF A HELL IN A CELL (I think Sean Waltman said it best… Why did the match stop? It’s supposed to be Hell?) and it’s one of the rare times that I agreed with wrestling’s favorite Uncle… That was Negative Stars for a match.

After Goldberg, he didn’t have a commanding presence. He recruited Alexa Bliss who was already over whether she was a Heel or Face and made everything so unbelievably… boring. Alexa had to carry that idiotic demon gimmick and doll, not having anything really supernatural. Just some wrestling and Brock Lesnar cleaning up everything faster than a Chop Shop in main events and segments. He tried to return and make his grand return, beating the Universal Champion Braun Strowman at Summerslam just to falter a literal week later to Roman Reigns, who proceeded to never look back from that win. Bray gets fired after and no more supernatural ideas. Undertaker isn’t around really and retires, Kane is a mayor. Paul Bearer is no longer with us and everything is just… normal.

Wyatt’s Six (Reasons I Tune Out)

In 2022, Vince retires seemingly from everything and Triple H is at the helm, could he bring balance to everything? He makes a bunch of returns that people love seeing. Johnny Gargano, Dakota Kai, Tegan Nox, Bronson Reed, Dexter Lumus just to name a few and of course, the big one that everyone wanted. Bray Wyatt.

Bray makes this heartfelt return and everything seems great. We get him as him, he makes this weird build to a Wyatt 6, assuming we think it’s the Firefly Funhouse and he’s just talking, building. Alright well who is going to be these six figures because they are more than just puppets this time around. A masked man named Uncle Howdy that people think is Vincent Marseglia or maybe a bearded Bo Dallas who is Bray’s real life brother and he……… pops in and out to confuse people. Okay… (1)

Alexa might return to the 6 because of all the segments and gets darker and a heel. Alright that is perfectly fine but, WHY IS VINCENT DALLAS HERE AGAIN TO JUST INTERFERE WITH RANDOM THINGS? Okay… fine. (2) Alexa has a Women’s Championship match against Bianca Belair, that will make sense of thi– it’s a clean finish… Why is it clean? No Howdy, No Wyatt just a random VHS tape like I’m watching The Ring about her being dark after the match. Okay…… (3)

Oh Wyatt finally gets a feud for his return. I almost forgot about that! Who will be this first victim? LA Knight.

…Okay…… (4)

Maybe this will be good. They are both great on the microphone, maybe Bray has new moves that he can do and I know all too well how good LA Knight is, I have been an Eli Drake/Shaun Ricker fan for years. This could be a great match that they have, they announced it for the Royal Rumble so it’s going to be big and it’s a… Pitch Black Match presented by Mountain Dew.

O…okay…… (5)

The Royal Rumble is upon us, the Men’s Rumble starts the show and we all have adrenaline in our soul for it and now is this weird Pitch Black Match and it’s not a cinematic match. It’s in the ring, No Count Outs and No Disqualifications. LA Knight comes out in his iconic Yellow Attire and Wyatt is talking… with a mask on. The lights turn off and the ropes are glowing a neon greenish-yellow… with an announce table spot that… has Nickelodeon Slime inside of it when they break it? Okay fine… I knew the match was going to be dumb and gimmicky from the Mountain Dew Sponsorship. Bray wins, yay. LA Knight comes back with a Kendo Stick and… we get invulnerable Bray again… they don’t hurt. Lets go to this crash pad and Bo Marseglia shows up from somewhere and just elbow drops him from maybe fifteen to twenty feet with pyro and the Firefly Funhouse Puppets appear at the top, to watch a fire… And there is number six…

Actual Thoughts on Current Bray Wyatt, Post Rumble

I absolutely hate it.


This was awful. You build whatever insignificant thought process of the Wyatt 6 has going for it when Uncle Howdy does the best Cap’n Shane O elbow drop for a hellfire effect. At least the pyro was better than the AEW Explosion Match I guess…

Regardless, how does LA Knight come out of all of this moving forward? He lost an idiotic gimmick match and looks presumed dead. This just makes me think that whoever in whatever interview said Bray Wyatt is a creative mastermind needs to put whatever they have down before we hear about their T.O.D. posted somewhere. This Pitch Black Match is somehow worse than that Rollins Hell in a Cell Match and that takes talent. At least a good amount of alcohol lulled that from my brain but this made me remember that and enjoy the thought of that match happening with its finish. The best way I can picture how this was pitched was Burnt Dogshit, wrapped in a Kerosine Blanket with… sorry had to look at what I wrote, not putting that on websites but… people saw a Creative Quesadilla and when we got the actual product, it gave Salmonella poisoning and E Coli at the same time.

I really don’t want to see another Bray Wyatt match… again. Whoever gave him creative, take it away immediately. As much steam as Bray Wyatt gets in promos or possible matches in the past, the only steaming he gets at the end, is steaming piles of shit. You can say, he’s getting paid millions where I’m a little troll on the internet with typing power and I really don’t care but to me, Triple H… you finally got your first failing grade with something in your leadership role in WWE.


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