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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (4/18/22)

The Prince tests a Theory!

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WWE Raw 2022

Will Finn Balor deny Vince’s golden boy some gold?

Theory has had his run of Raw with Vince McMahon backing him, but will he soon reign over it, too? Or will Finn Balor keep the WWE United States Championship from the spoiled protégé?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Sasha Banks & Naomi VS Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley; Sasha & Naomi win and retain the titles.
  • Veer Mahaan VS ???; Veer wins.
  • Ezekiel VS Chad Gable; Ezekiel wins, by disqualification.
  • RKBRO VS The Street Profits; The Street Profits win.
  • WWE United States Championship: Finn Balor VS (Austin) Theory; Theory wins and becomes the new WWE United States Champion.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Fear of Commitment: Reggie wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Fear of Commitment 2: Tamina wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Fear of Commitment 3: Akira Tozawa wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Fear of Commitment 4: Dana Brooke wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • Cody Rhodes VS Kevin Owens; Cody wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Seth Rollins heads to the ring!

The Visionary is in an even better mood than usual because he has a rematch with Cody Rhodes at WrestleMania Backlash! And Rollins goes to the ring to get a mic. “Ooooh, welcome to Monday Night Rollins! It is a party out here tonight, and nobody wants to party alone! So I’ve got an invitation to make. An invitation to my WrestleMania Backlash opponent himself, The American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes! C’mon down, let’s have a chat, baby! HAHA!” And to oblige, Cody makes his entrance. Buffalo is fired up as Cody joins Rollins in the ring. Rollins says they don’t need to stop cheering, give Cody more! Rollins even starts a “Cody! Cody!” chant.

Rollins asks Cody how it feels to be on top of the world. C’mon, give it up for the Nightmare! Cody says he’ll stand on ceremony just a moment. This all feels so… familiar. As in, Rollins and Cody in the ring, in this city, and for those who don’t know the story, Buffalo is Rhodes Country. But familiarity and admiration are strangers. Rollins has invited Cody, so please, what does Rollins want to talk about? Rollins says, “Ohhh, Cody.” There has been so much on Rollins’ mind. And as memory serves, Buffalo might be Rhodes Country, but this is about respect. Rollins wants to share how much he respects Cody.

Cody soaks up the adulation and Rollins gets mad. Rollins tells Cody to never do that again. But then he does, and Rollins gets further annoyed. This was going to go one way, but now it’s going another. Rollins was going to say how much he respected the Rhodes, from Cody to his brother to his daddy, Dusty! Rollins was going to say how much respect he had for Cody’s long journey going away, working hard, and coming back as the American Nightmare. But instead, Rollins must remind Cody that all his hard work is nothing because Seth Freakin’ Rollins made Cody a star in one NIGHT at WrestleMania!

Fans boo but Rollins says that’s the truth. Cody says there’s a lot of pretense. Let’s dispense with pleasantries and get to the point. The point Rollins is getting to is that at WrestleMania, Cody had an “unfair advantage.” Cody came in as the surprise opponent! Mr. Rhodes, back after all this time! Rollins didn’t have time to prepare, and that is why he lost. A tough pill to swallow, but what’s tougher is that people think Cody is better than Rollins. That is something Rollins cannot live with because it’s not true! Rollins is better than Cody, in every single possible way! Cody may be the flavor of the month, but he is not the future of the industry.

Rollins talks the talk better than Cody. Rollins walks the walk better than Cody. And he most certainly dresses the dress and drips the drop better than Cody. But most importantly, Cody came back to fulfill a legacy and win the WWE World Championship, an admirable goal. Rollins has been to that mountaintop, and THAT makes him better than Cody! Cody says, “Forgive me, I’m gonna correct you.” Rollins has been to the mountaintop four times. Four times, and Cody none. But all of that, the diatribe and tantrum, does not change WrestleMania. And in his six years away, Cody had a management job and learned a little something called mediation.

Rollins can go on and on about how great he is, and Cody could do the same, they go back and forth and back and forth, so why don’t they involve a neutral third party? They can ask the good folks of Buffalo! Fans are already cheering for Cody, so Cody asks them, “Do you think that I am better than Seth Rollins?” “YES! YES! YES!” Rollins encourages them to get louder and the fans oblige. Then he gets annoyed and tells them to shut up. Cody and the fans think it is so easy, standing here and someone else walks out and you can just win! But here’s an idea. Rollins wants to put the shoe on the other foot!

Tonight’s main event, Cody takes on a mystery opponent of Rollins’ choosing! What does he say to that?! Fans again chant, “YES! YES! YES!” Cody says, “Look at me. I think you already know the answer. I think they already know the answer. I didn’t come back to WWE to run from challenges. So absolutely YES.” Rollins smiles, and gives a thumbs up. Has he just suckered Cody into a trap?

 

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Sasha Banks & Naomi VS Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley!

It’s BOSS GLOW TIME! But will Team Bad still be feeling good after tonight? Or will #Liv4Brutality leave with the gold?

Raw returns and the challengers make their entrance. The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if Sasha & Naomi live a nightmare!

Rhea starts against Sasha, they circle, and Rhea deflects a dropkick to give a dropkick! She puts Sasha in a corner, RAMS into her then RAMS her shoulder in more. Liv tags in, Rhea whips her in for a back body block! Liv snapmares and then wheelbarrows with Rhea, for a SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Liv brings Sasha up but Sasha JAWBREAKERS! Liv comes back but the springboard is denied! Sasha blocks a kick to KNEE Liv down, then tags to Naomi. They double wrench, for DOUBLE SOLE FOOD! Then a DOUBLE KICK takes Liv down! Cover, TWO! Liv survives that onslaught but Naomi tags Sasha.

Sasha goes up to CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Naomi DECKS Rhea for good measure, then Sasha tags Naomi back in. They go out after Liv to POST her together! Then they CROSSBODY Rhea, but Rhea catches Sasha to CLOBBER Naomi with her! Liv gets Naomi, WING CLIPPER into the POST! Rhea gives Sasha RIPTIDE to the barrier! Rhea and Liv have taken control as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Rhea has Naomi in body scissors. Naomi endures the squeezes, fights and pushes back to a cover, TWO! Rhea CLOBBERS Naomi! Rhea tags Liv, then Rhea Electric Chair Lifts Naomi while Liv climbs. ELECTRIC CHAIR BULLDOG! Wasn’t the cleanest, but Liv covers, TWO! Liv tries again, TWO! Liv is frustrated but then Naomi gets her for a ghost pin, TWO! Liv kicks and KICKS and ENZIGURIS! Naomi ends up on the ropes, Liv runs in but no Oblivion! Rhea tags in before the backslide, so the cover doesn’t count! Naomi springboards but Rhea catches her, so Liv can POWERBOMB her!

Rhea hurries to haul Naomi up, pump handle! Sasha gets in but Liv intercepts! RIPTIDE as Sasha gives Liv a BACKSTABBER! Cover, Sasha breaks it in time!! Buffalo is fired up as all four women are down! Rhea gets up to toss Sasha out! Naomi dodges Rhea, springboards, FLYING CHUCK! Sasha tags in, the champs coordinate, CODE BREAKER to BUBBA BOMB! Jackknife, the champs win!!

Winners: Sasha Banks & Naomi, by pinfall (still WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions)

Team BAD stays on top and head out with belts in hand! Does any team on either brand stand a chance against them? As for Rhea and Liv, they regroup and Liv tries to explain she was out of commission. She wants Rhea to understand, and Rhea does her best to stay calm. But she says Liv failed the team! Liv says Rhea just needs to cool off, but then Rhea ATTACKS! She knocks Liv down, fires off hands from all sides, then laughs before she hauls Liv up! RIPTIDE!! Buffalo boos but Rhea storms off. Is Rhea done with tag teams once and for all?

 

Backstage interview with Rhea Ripley.

Sarah asks why Rhea did that to Liv. But Rhea asks Sarah, “What entitles you, or anyone else, to an explanation?” Rhea storms off, and that’s that.

 

Sonya Deville heads to the ring!

She’s in her suit so she’s all business, but she’s also the next challenger to the Raw Women’s Championship. How will she abuse her power now? We’ll find out, after the break.

Raw returns and Sonya has the mic to say, “As of late, I have heard chatter throughout WWE-” Fans booing distracts Sonya, and she again says she has heard the chatter that she is misusing her power to become Bianca Belair’s challenger. First and foremost, she is a competitor. She didn’t just wake up one day and decide to become a WWE Official out of some quarter-life crisis. No, no. She was forced into this! She was forced into this until she could find her way back to being a WWE Superstar. Did she make the most of it? Use her natural gift and ability to lead those around her? Yes, she did!

But when she found a window of opportunity, she took it. When Bianca won the Raw Women’s Championship at WrestleMania, Sonya knew that is who she’d want to be in the ring with. Bianca isn’t just the EST but the B E S T in the WWE. And that is who Sonya wants to beat and take the title off of! “The best and nothing less.” So fans can scrutinize her all we want, but the bottom line is that Bianca wanted a challenger and Sonya gave her one! “It’s nothing personal, it’s just business.” So if anyone has issue- Well, here comes Bianca! She storms her way right to the ring, and Sonya cuts off her music.

Sonya knows Bianca is all excited about the match, but standing here and now, Sonya is an official. So if Bianca lays even one finger on her, there will be consequences. Fans still want Bianca to do something, but Bianca just grabs the mic. “Y’know what, Sonya? I’m ready to put my hands on you once you’re not acting like a WWE official, so how ’bout we have this title match right here tonight? Let’s go!” Sonya says no, she didn’t wait three years to have her opportunity to have it in some rusted out suburb of New York! So it won’t happen here in Buffalo. It’ll happen somewhere where Bianca will really hate losing.

Sonya says it’ll be next week in Bianca’s hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee! And this is helping Bianca out! Because when she loses, her family will be there as shoulders to cry on. At this point, they’re so used to her losing titles quickly anyway, right? Oh, what is it? Does Bianca wanna say something? Bianca spins Sonya around to scoop her! Sonya shouts for Bianca to put her down, or she will suspend her and strip the title away! So Bianca flings Sonya away! Sonya is flustered and furious, what consequences will she make Bianca face? Or will she just let it slide in order to get that title match next week?

 

Veer Mahaan VS ???

The Lion with the million dollar arm dominated and demolished Dominik Mysterio, and showed absolutely no remorse. Will he do the same thing all over again to whoever is in the ring with him tonight?

Raw returns and Buffalo’s own Jeff Brooks is Veer’s vict- er, opponent! The bell rings, Brooks rushes in but Veer TOSSES him to a corner! Then fires off body shots then TOSSES Brooks across the way! Veer roars and looms over Buffalo Brooks. Brooks throws body shots, runs, but into a POUNCE! Then Veer scoops him for a SIDEWALK SLAM! But this isn’t the end, Veer just drags Brooks up for the MILLION DOLLAR LARIAT! And then, a BIG hip drop into the CERVICAL CLUTCH! Brooks taps, Veer wins!

Winner: Veer Mahaan, by submission

But just like with Dom, he’s not done with Brooks! Veer clamps the clutch back on, referees and officials rush out, and Veer lets off, only to go back for more! Veer wants to break Brooks!! The officials drag Veer off Brooks and Veer storms off into the night!

 

Sonya Deville finds Adam Pearce backstage.

Pearce finishes up a phone call and Sonya complains about Bianca putting her hands on her! Yes, Pearce saw that. So then what are the consequences? They better be severe! Pearce says those are being handled, but Sonya needs to worry about herself. What’s that supposed to mean? That the higher ups are officially investigating her conduct. Uh, she has been by the book since day one, and yet she’s being investigated? Not the champion who just assaulted her? Pearce assures Sonya that Bianca is being fined. How much? 50K? 100? A million? Sonya would give her the biggEST fine ever, but probably not, huh?

Bianca walks in and Sonya says no, this is official business, so she can see herself out. Okay, okay, Sonya. Bianca is here to pay the fine. Of one dollar. Here you are, Pearce. And she’s learned her lesson. Sonya is furious! Just $1!? And yet Sonya is abusing her power? Hey, he did it by the book. Sonya tastes some of her own medicine, but will she get a whole lot more of it next week?

 

Jeff Brooks is also being stretchered out.

Just as Dom was last week, one of Veer’s victims needs to go to the hospital.

 

Kevin Owens heads to the ring!

The Prizefighter is here to host a very special KO Show! He’s going to get to the bottom of things, as he plans on giving “Ezekiel” a lie detector test! Is Ezekiel who he says he is? Or will we learn the truth? We find out, after the break.

Raw returns and Chad Gable joins Kevin on his show. Kevin wants to make it very clear that he despises liars! Who doesn’t, right? But we have a “new” superstar calling himself Ezekiel and fraudulently claiming to be Elias’ younger brother. Kevin happens to know that is a lie, that IS Elias. So tonight, Kevin will expose him as the fraud he is, and that he is the only one sane enough to know it. Hence, the lie detector test. Kevin would do this himself, but to show this isn’t biased or rigged, Kevin got the smartest man in the WWE Universe to administer the test. Not only will Gable expose Elias, he’ll beat him in a match right after!

Ladies and gentlemen, the man with a 2.0 GP- No, no, 4. Oh, FOUR point 0 GPA, “Master” Chad Gable! Gable says A THANK YEW for having him back on the KO Show. And tonight, in line with the scientific method, Gable will stay unbiased and discover the truth if “Ezekiel” is who he says he is. And if he lies, Gable will beat the truth out of him after! Money well spent! Kevin loves everything about this. So then, please welcome ELIAS. The man in question makes his way out to the ring, and takes his seat. Kevin welcomes Elias to the show, and Ezekiel says he appreciates all this, but again he has it all wrong. He IS Ezekiel.

NO! No you’re not! You are Elias. Let’s just get past this. Elias had the guitar, the beard, asked people if they wanted to walk with him, that’s this guy. Ezekiel says he wants to take the test, but before he does, he has one question for everyone here in Buffalo. Who wants to here Zeke speak? DON’T! It’s just the same! Nevermind, just hook him up, we’ll get to the bottom of this. This is a computer, the best money can buy. We ready? Get it good. Is it crooked? Well, that’s good enough. Gable starts with some control questions to get a baseline. Buffalo, all your babbling is interfering, so please just SHOOSH!

First question, answer correctly: Is the sky blue? Yes. Okay, that’s the truth. Second question, answer incorrectly: Is tonight Monday? No. SEE? LIAR! No, Kevin, Gable made sure he’d lie on purpose here. Oh. Carry on. Okay, third question: Is Olympic Gold Medalist Gable Steveson a spoiled brat who messed with the wrong guy!? Chad, Chad, focus! This isn’t about you! Kevin is paying 180 Canadian dollars for this. Right, sorry, that’s good money. So yes or no, is your real name Ezekiel? Kevin stares Ezekiel down and tells him to answer. Fans cheer, “YES! YES! YES!” and Ezekiel says “yes.” Wow, it’s the truth…

What?! NO! Kevin won’t accept this! Ask him why he lying! No, it doesn’t work that way. It has to be yes or no. Okay, so… Yes or no: Is Elias his older brother? Again, fans chant, “YES! YES! YES!” Ezekiel says yes, and the machine can’t find the lie! Kevin is angry! Ask better! YOU ask! What is Kevin even after? Kevin asks, “Is your real name Elias?” “No!” And that’s true, too! Is he paying Gable more? Chad says he is a man of integrity. Sorry, but all signs point to the fact that this IS Ezekiel! Kevin says Gable is being made into a fool! No more of this! Kevin’s not paying!

But now Ezekiel says he has had enough. No more Law & Order here, being called a liar by the biggest liar in the WWE! This is a big night! Ezekiel’s in-ring debut is here in Buffalo! No, Kevin doesn’t care about this test! It doesn’t matter how Elias/Ezekiel figured a way around it! Or that he’s having his “first match” here in “Canada’s landfill,” Buffalo, New York! Oh no, he said mean things~! But what matter sis the truth! Kevin is getting the truth right now! Ezekiel admits he is Elias, or else! Or else what? Ezekiel stares Kevin down, and Kevin leaves! But then Gable CLOBBERS Ezekiel from behind! So much for integrity!

Ezekiel VS Chad Gable!

Raw returns and the bell rings. Ezekiel CLOBBERS Gable and fires off in a corner! Gable tries to hit back, but Ezekiel TOSSES him across the way! Then runs in to BOOT Gable out of the ring! Ezekiel goes out to CHOP Gable, and brings him up to GOURD BUSTER Gable on the steps! Gable flounders, Ezekiel puts him in the ring, and Ezekiel sits him up to kiss him on the head. Ezekiel then runs to SLIDING FOREARM! Cover, TWO! Gable gets to a corner but Ezekiel CHOPS him again! And CHOPS again! Ezekiel whips, Gable reverses and blocks a boot to put that leg in the ropes, DRAPING DRAGON SCRWE to the other leg!

Gable gets the bad leg, KNEE JAMMER! And then another DRAGON SCREW! And then another KNEE JAMMER! And then he YANKS the leg! Ezekiel clutches the knee, but Gable brings him up to NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Gable is annoyed and tells fans to SHOOSH! Gable drags Ezekiel to a spinning toehold, and Ezekiel’s shoulders are down. The ref counts, ONE as Ezekiel sits up. Ezekiel kicks with his free leg but Gable redoes the spinning toehold. But Ezekiel boots Gable up and out! Gable skins the cat, but runs into a kick! And a CHOP! Ezekiel whips, then CLOBBERS Gable!

Ezekiel DECKS Gable, whips him but Gable blocks! Ezekiel reverses back, goes up but Gable catches him! Ezekiel still mule kicks Gable away, looking a lot like his brother there! But then Gable catches Ezekiel for an EXPLODER! Gable goes up the corner, for a MOONSAULT into a boot! Ezekiel gets up, and hits a SPINEBUSTER! “Who wants to speak with Zeke?!” HALF CRAB! Gable endures, but Otis appears and CLOBBERS Ezekiel!

Winner: Ezekiel, by disqualification

The Dozer knocks Ezekiel down again, and he helps his mentor up. Ezekiel still wins his in-ring debut, but it rings rather hollow. Will Ezekiel have beef to settle with the Alpha Academy? Will he call on his brother to help him?

 

RKBRO VS The Street Profits!

The Viper & The Stallion put the Usos in their place on SmackDown, but they’re back on Raw because teams are still coming for these titles. Will Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins prove they should be in the conversation of undisputed tag team champions? Or will Randy Orton & Matt Riddle make sure Backlash stays as is?

Raw returns and the Profits make their entrance. The teams sort out and Dawkins starts with Orton. They circle and tie up, then Orton headlocks. Orton grinds Dawkins down but he fights up and powers out. Orton runs Dawkins over, then strikes his signature pose. Fans fire up and Riddle applauds, but then Dawkins hurdles and hurdles and FLYING ELBOWS Orton down! Ford fires up as Dawkins stirs it up! Dawkins waits on Orton, they circle again and feel things out. Orton kicks low, EuroUppers Dawkins down, then tags Riddle. Orton snapmares, and he stomps Dawkins’ hand! Riddle stomps the other hand, then they both stomp the feet!

RKBRO then coordinates, ASSISTED FLOATING BRO! Cover, TWO! Riddle keeps on Dawkins with a headlock. Dawkins fights up, powers him to ropes, and Ford tags in. Dawkins ducks and Ford dropkicks Riddle! Ford then mocks Orton’s pose before he covers, TWO! Ford keeps on Riddle with an armlock. Riddle gets up but Ford wrenches to a back suplex! Ford then hurries to a corner and climbs up top, but Riddle gets up after him first! SUPER SPANISH FLY!! Even Orton’s shocked as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Ford clinches Riddle. Riddle throws body shots to get free, but Ford starts trading shots with him! Fans rally as the forearms fly, and Riddle gets the edge! Fans fire up, Riddle blocks a kick but not the ENZIGURI! But then Riddle gets up to ROUNDHOUSE! Ford falls back, Dawkins tags in! Dawkins keeps Riddle from Orton but Riddle boots him away! Hot tag to Randy! Orton rallies with big clotheslines, then he ducks to POWERSLAM! Fans fire up with Orton as he then has Dawkins on the apron! Riddle FINAL FLASH KNEES Ford, and RKBRO get the Profits for DOUBLE DRAPING DDTS!

Riddle kips up and Buffalo is thunderous! Orton tags in Riddle, and he lets Riddle hear those voices! Riddle wants Dawkins to get up, but Ford is waving to someone! The USOS?! The music hits, but no Jimmy or Jey. Ford DROPKICKS Orton off the apron, and Dawkins ROCKS Riddle with a right! Dawkins whips Riddle to a corner, but Riddle goes up! Dawkins catches him, Ford tags in and climbs, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, Profits win!!

Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall

Ford & Dawkins used the specter of the Usos against RKBRO! Ford gets a mic to say, “What happened? I wonder who would cue the Usos music at this misfortunate time for RKBRO.” But let that be a lesson to everyone! Usos ain’t the only team to worry about! They’re the Street Profits! They are up, and they want the smoke! RKBRO realizes the trick, and are furious! Will Orton & Riddle make the Profits pay for stooping so low?

 

Edge and Damian Priest speak.

The Archer of Infamy says, “I’m sure you’re all asking yourselves, ‘What was that last Monday? Why are Edge and Damian Priest so set on making AJ’s life so, so miserable?’ Well apparently, you all need to be reminded as to who the hell we are.” The Iconoclast says that’s right. “Last week was mind games, and this side of me has always been there, it’s just been dormant. These seeds were planted over 20 years ago when I was in The Brood, the Ministry of Darkness. But how soon you all forget.” This version of Edge is much more dangerous, and those seeds will be watered by their opponent’s tears.

So why is this happening? You can’t get it through your Cro-Magnon skulls, AJ Styles is too stupid to figure it out, but it’s real simple. These two haven’t lived up to their true destinies. They haven’t lived up to what life’s given them. Here’s an example: Last year, WrestleMania, Damian Priest played supporting role to Bad Bunny. Priest was the glue but the bunny got the credit. Without Priest, Bunny would’ve been smeared on the mat like a Picasso painting. And yet Priest didn’t have a Mania match and the fans all have to ask why this is happening? And what does Edge have to complain about? Well where to begin?

Edge, a WWE Hall of Famer, had to ask someone to step up for a Mania match! And unlike the Bills and Sabers, Edge wins championships! And yet, in spite of all that, after nine years being begged to come back, scratched and clawed to come back, all it took was two years for the WWE Universe to be filled with lemmings and malcontents with the attention span of a TikTok video to complain that Edge was this, that, part-timer! So Edge finally decided not to care what the fans thought, and to take back the pinnacle of this industry, Edge’s mountain of omnipotence! He and Priest will past judgement on anyone in his way. And the only one with the guts to even get in their way is Styles.

Apparently, Mania didn’t get the point across to Styles. So Edge is officially challenging Styles to a rematch for Backlash, and he will drive the point home like a stake to the heart! Edge speaks directly to Styles, and Styles will surely say this isn’t fair. Not that they care. They finally decided to seize the day! And what that means for everyone, especially Styles, is that it is their JUDGEMENT DAY! Edge and Priest share a laugh, and then we fade out. Will the Phenomenal One be sentenced to exile by this judge, jury and executioner?

 

Backstage interview with AJ Styles.

Sarah asks his response to what we just heard from Edge and Priest. Styles says it’s “Judge Edge” and “Big Bad Bailiff” Priest. First, Edge’s challenge is accepted! And second, Edge can save his judgement for- Wait, the lights are flickering. Then they go off! And when they come back, it’s all purple-blue as Edge and Priest are there! Styles tries to fight but that’s 2v1! Edge and Priest mug Styles, then THROW him into the wall! Priest even KICKS Styles in the ribs, and Edge opens a locker to put Styles’ arm in it! Edge SLAMS the door shut again and again! Styles gets his arm free but the damage has been done! Edge and Priest laugh again, and then disappear. Will Styles be able to survive such a disadvantage?

 

WWE United States Championship: Finn Balor VS (Austin) Theory!

The Prince has been on the bad end of ambushes and blindsides by Vince McMahon’s newest pet project, but now it comes to a head! Either Balor gets payback for everything the man formerly called Austin has done to him, or Theory makes Vince the proudest he can be!

Raw returns as Finn makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see if WWE has a champion in Theory.

Balor and Theory circle and tie up. They go around, Balor gets an arm to wrench to a wristlock, but Theory kicks low. Theory headlocks, Balor powers out, but Theory runs him over. Theory flexes and says he’s the man, but Balor CHOPS him! Balor throws body shots, RAMS Theory with his shoulder again and again, then lets off at 4. Balor CHOPS again, snapmares and KICKS Theory in the back, then COHPS him in another corner. Balor whips corner to corner, and CHOPS Theory down! Theory gets up to scoop for a BACKBREAKER! Theory snarls, he rains down fists on Balor, then covers, TWO!

Theory clamps on with a chinlock to grind Balor down. Balor endures, fans rally up, and Balor fights to his feet, only for Theory to throw him down by his head! Cover, TWO, but Theory is back on the chinlock. Balor endures as Theory leans on the hold, and he fights his way back up. Balor JAWBREAKERS free, then runs, but Theory follows to trip him up and drag him out to the apron! DRAPING NECKBREAKER to the floor! Theory seethes but he stands tall while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Theory has Balor in a chinlock. Balor fights up, but Theory manages to wrangle him back down. Balor endures as Theory leans on the hold, and he fights back up. Fans rally, Balor wrenches but Theory knees low to snapmare and jumping stomp! Theory talks trash but Balor BOOTS him from the corner! Balor rallies with forearms and a whip but Theory reverses, only for Balor to FLYING FOERAM! Then trip and DOUBLE STOMP! Buffalo fires up and Balor runs in to CHOP Theory again! Balor whips corner to corner, Theory reverses and scoops, SPIN OUT SIDEWALK SLAM! Cover, TWO!

Balor clutches his neck but he’s still in this. Theory drags Balor up, LARIATS Balor down, then eggs him on. Theory drags Balor up, for another LARIAT! Fans boo but Theory soaks up the heat. Theory drags Balor up, reels him in again, but Balor slips around to DDT! Both men are down and fans fire up! Balor then runs in to KICK Theory against ropes! Theory goes to the apron, Balor drags him up and suplexes. Theory blocks, throws body shots, then HOTSHOTS Balor away! Theory slingshots in, but dropkick becomes POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Theory survives his mistake, but both men are down as fans rally up.

Balor and Theory get up, Theory storms over but Balor KICKS him! And CHOPS him! And KICKS again! Theory throat chops! Theory then bumps Balor off buckles, talks trash while he stalks him, but Balor wheelbarrows to victory roll and stomp away! The ref counts as they’re at ropes, but Balor lets off to fire up the fans! Balor runs to SLINGBLADE Theory down! Then he aims again, SHOTGUN! Theory hits buckles then falls to the drop zone! Balor hurries to the corner and up top! But Theory trips Balor up! Fans boo but Theory springs right up, ARABIAN PRESS SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Balor survives and Theory is furious!

Theory says he’s the man! Fans boo, Theory calls his shot, #ATownDown. Theory gets Balor up, but Balor slips out to ELBOW DROP DDT! Balor then clotheslines Theory out of the ring! Balor runs and FLIES! Direct hit at the ramp! Balor hobbles up, fans rally and he gets Theory in the ring. Balor then goes up top again, OCUP DE- NO! Theory moves, hurries to get Balor up, A T L!! Cover, Theory wins!

Winner: (Austin) Theory, by pinfall (NEW WWE United States Champion)

Vince McMahon’s investment pays off in gold! Theory admires the prize, and out come the Hurt Business, the Alpha Academy, Commander Azeez and T-Bar to help him celebrate! And of course, here comes Vince McMahon himself! Theory goes up the ramp to take a celebration selfie with his mentor! With the Chairman’s backing, is there nothing Theory won’t do in the WWE?

 

Seth Rollins walks around backstage.

“Twitter is a wild place.” But Kevin Patrick walks over to ask Rollins about Cody’s match tonight against someone of Rollins’ choosing. Has he made a decision yet? Rollins laughs and says he has. Then will he share that with us? What? Is KP dim? Does no one get how this works? AT Mania, Rollins was in the middle of the ring, still no idea who he’d be facing. Cody needs to feel the exact same way tonight! Or else it doesn’t work! What doesn’t KP understand? Oh, oh, wait. Rollins checks something on his phone. Cody’s opponent has responded! Who is this that Rollins is communicating with? Guess we’ll have to wait until the main event.

 

R-Truth heads to the ring!

Tonight, the “certified marriaging guy” presides over the “Double Commitment Ceremony!” AKA a double wedding! The 24/7 Championship is perched on a nice little pedestal, will anyone try and ruin this night by taking that title from Dana Brooks? Or will she and Reggie, as well as Akira Tozawa and Tamina, all live happily-ever-after after tonight?

Raw returns, and the grooms and their bridal parties are present. On Tozawa’s side are Nikki A.S.H, and on Reggie’s side are Los Lotharios. Truth wants everyone to simmer down and zip it! Not just because your fly is down, Reggie. What?! GOTTEE! Okay, let’s be for real for real. Before we bring the lovely brides out, let us all remember, and that means every single one of you single, conniving snakes in the grass, that there is an R-TRUCE in effect. During this ceremony, involving Reggie and Dana, and Tamina and Tozawa, the 24/7 title is off-limits. Aight, guys, this is Truth’s first time, go easy.

“BUFFALO, NEW YORK! WHAT’S UP?!” Make some noise for Dana and Tamina! The music plays, and here come the brides~, all dressed in white~! Dana is first, and Nikki doesn’t look impressed. Tamina sorta storms out with Sasha and Naomi helping with the train. Team BAD in full affect here! Truth says these girls should be on Corn Flakes boxes, they look GRRREAT! Doesn’t he mean Frosted…? Anyway, the grooms help their brides into the ring, and Truth gets Buffalo to applaud. Truth then welcomes the dear, honored and beloved guests, and all y’all schemers, too.

We are gathered here to join the union of Dana Brooks- No, it’s just Brooke. Oh… Brook-kuh and Reggie. As well as Tamina and Tozawa. So without any further instigations, punctuations or provocations, let’s get down to bidness. And don’t “What” him! Time for the vows! And make it come from the heart. “What?” From the heart! Dana takes out her notes, and Truth has the fans simmer down. She needs a minute! Y’all gonna get married one day, too! Dana tells Reggie, “You are my knight in shining armor. And from the first time you showed your willingness to sacrifice yourself for me, I knew you were a man of honor.”

“What?” He has integrity! And though it took time to become more than friends, Dana knew they were meant to be. Through the ups and the downs, their love has only grown stronger. Truth says he’s tearing up. Reggie’s turn. Reggie says that was beautiful. Buffalo gets rowdy and Truth says they’re making him look bad. He won’t get anymore gigs after this. They should let him finish then they can go “HEY~ HEY” all the want. Fans start that but he says not now, later! “Dana, you are a dream come true. A goddess with everything I could ever want. And everything we’ve been through, the trust issues, the temptations, all of it has put us on the path that got us to this moment. And it has only made our love stronger.”

That was deep, dog. Okay, Tamina- She just shouts “Akira! What she said.” What? That’s not allowed, is it? Well, Tozawa, your turn. “Tamina… Same.” These two know how to save time. Then before finalizing the commitments, are there any objections? Speak now or forever shut your traps! Fans all boo but he says they don’t count. TAMINA objects?! To what?! She drags Reggie over and trades him with Tozawa?! Tamina likes Reggie better? That wasn’t expected. But then Tamina changers her mind. She wants… DANA?! Fans go nuts and Truth says this is getting him fired! Is this even PG?

Tamina changes her mind again, and decides to stick with the one that brought her. So then, any final objections? Just keep ’em to yourselves. With the power in Truth’s vests, he pronounces them all, COMMITTED! Get to smooching! Oh, wait, rings. Show ’em! Oh, Reggie spent some money. Tozawa not so much… Left ring fingers and… Tozawa has to loosen his again. Now, this is official! Smooch! Tozawa and Tamina kiss, and then so do Reggie and Dana. They go all the way down, and Reggie is pinning Dana?! REGGIE WINS THE TITLE!

Winner: Reggie, by pinfall (NEW WWE 24/7 Champion)

But then Tamina CLOBBERS and SPLASHES Reggie! TAMINA WINS!!

Winner: Tamina, by pinfall (NEW WWE 24/7 Champion)

Truth says this is messed up! But then Tozawa goes under the skirt to roll up Tamina! TOZAWA WINS!!

Winner: Akira Tozawa, by pinfall (NEW WWE 24/7 Champion)

Truth is furious but Dana CROSSBODIES! Cover, Dana wins the title back!

Winner: Dana Brooke, by pinfall (NEW WWE 24/7 Champion)

Dana becomes a runaway bride as Truth gives her a piggyback outta here! Does this count as an annulment?

 

Backstage interview with Bobby Lashley.

Sarah has Lashley watch a video message sent by MVP. “Bobby Lashley, you are about to realize exactly how… big the mistake you’ve made. Trying to hog all the glory and spotlight to yourself, riding into WrestleMania solo, without MVP. But that’s the past. I’ve moved on to bigger things, meaner things, stronger things, in the colossus, Omos. An athlete who is superior to you in every way. And now he’s sitting under my learning tree, and I’m teaching him all the things I taught you to become WWE Champion.” MVP made Lashley might, so what can he do with Omos?

While we’re figuring that out, Omos wants to challenge Lashley to a display of strength to humiliate him again. Maybe an arm-wrestling match? Omos says the All Might Era is coming to an end. Lashley says this is not surprising. MVP thinks he’s safe cuz he can hide behind Omos while talking trash. If Lashley wants after MVP, he has to go through Omos, and he will definitely do that. But MVP is right. Omos is big, strong and scary. But so is Lashley! Is he stronger? We’ll find out in that arm-wrestling match. Lashley accepts the challenge, and will show everyone why they still call Lashley the All Mighty.

 

Cody Rhodes VS ???

According to The Visionary, The American Nightmare must now feel what Rollins felt at WrestleMania 38. Cody makes his entrance, and will wait in the ring to learn who Rollins chose as his opponent. Will Cody be ready no matter who walks down the ramp? Or has the Architect perfectly planned his payback?

Raw returns and Rollins makes his entrance. “Ohhhhh yeaaaah~! It’s time, it’s time, it’s time for your main event! It’s time to show the world that you’re not as good as you think you are!” So without further ado, Rollins introduces Cody’s surprise opponent for the evening. It is a man of valor, a man who never backs down from a fight, and a former world champion! And that’s no lie. Rollins laughs, because here comes Kevin Owens! It seems these two made up as friends because they hug it out! Kevin then goes to the ring, will the Prizefighter be able to do Rollins’ dirty work?

The bell rings, the two circle, and Code gets a leg. Kevin gets to ropes, turns things around on Cody, and then headlocks. Cody endures, pries at the hold, but Kevin shifts to a waistlock. Cody pries the waistlock open to wrench and wristlock. Kevin kicks low, reels Cody in, but Cody lands out of the back suplex. Cody kicks low and drops, but Kevin blocks the Rhodes Uppercut! Kevin SLAMS the arm down, then mocks Goldust before he CLUBS Cody. Kevin COHPS and CLUBS Cody then stomps away at the ropes! The ref counts, Kevin lets off to bring Cody up and whip. Cody reverses and sends Kevin out, then DECKS him!

Cody builds speed to DIVE into a forearm! Kevin drags Cody out to FALL AWAY SLAM into barriers! Kevin roars as he stands over Cody, and then he soaks up the heat in the ring while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Kevin has Cody in a headlock. Cody fights up, Kevin turns it to a facelock but Cody throws body shots. Cody ROCKS Kevin but Kevin kicks low. Kevin throws Cody out, but Cody skins the cat! Cody rallies, dropkicks and Kevin goes to a corner. Cody whips corner to corner, Kevin reverses but Cody goes up and over. Kevin trips Cody to SENTON! Cover, TWO! Kevin is annoyed but he stomps Cody around. Kevin CLUBS Cody, KICKS him, then drags Cody up by an ear. Kevin mocks the fans cheering for Cody before he scoops and hits a BACKBREAKER! Kevin makes it a rack as he bends Cody against his knee.

Cody fights free but Kevin throws down elbows! Kevin pushes Cody against his knee again, but Cody endures. Kevin pushes Cody down, and he grins while fans rally up. Kevin knees Cody against ropes, then digs him into the ropes! The ref counts, Kevin lets off, and Cody gets to his feet. Kevin ROCKS Cody with a right, but Cody ROCKS Kevin back! Cody ROCKS Kevin, Kevin kicks low! Kevin reels Cody in to snap suplex! Cover, TWO! Kevin brings Cody back up, reels him in, but Cody blocks the suplex this time. Cody suplexes Kevin for a GOURD BUSTER! Cody clutches his back but he brings Kevin in!

Kevin snapmares free and kicks low, DDT! Cover, TWO! Cody survives being spiked and Kevin grows frustrated. Kevin gets to a corner, climbs up top, and SWANTONS onto knees! Cody saves himself and Kevin gets out of the ring. Cody slips out the opposite side, and he runs into CLOBBER Kevin onto the announce desk! But then Rollins makes his return! The Visionary decided to watch this personally, and he smirks as he swaggers down the ramp while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns once more and Cody has Kevin up top! Kevin resists and fans rally up as the two brawl up there! Cody CLUBS Kevin, ROCKS him, but Kevin HEADBUTTS Cody down! Kevin adjusts, and FROG SPLASHES! Cover, TWO!! Cody survives but Kevin is right up top again, SWANTON BOMB! Direct hit this time, cover, TWO!! Rollins is beside himself that Cody survives! Kevin fumes and he drags Cody up, but Cody cradles! TWO, Kevin knees low and whips, POP-UP- RANA from Cody! And SUPERKICK! Kevin SUPERKICKS back! Cody LARIATS! Rollins is pacing while both men are down.

Buffalo rallies for Cody as he and Kevin go to opposite corners. Cody hobbles, runs in, but into a POP-UP POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Kevin is shocked and Rollins is furious! Cody survives but Kevin gets back to his feet. Kevin drags Cody back into a drop zone and he goes up again. Rollins says Kevin has this, but then Cody ROCKS Kevin! Kevin hits back, but Cody throws body shots! Cody climbs up, CLUBS away on Kevin’s back, but has to worry about his own. Cody tries to go up but Kevin fights back! Kevin elbows Cody, so Cody ROCKS Kevin! Cody climbs up once again, but into a SUPER FISHERMAN BUSTER from Kevin!

Rollins is fired up and Kevin crawls to a cover, ROPEBREAK! Cody manages to survive again and Rollins is angry again. Cody gets away to the far side but Kevin joins him on the apron. “This is Awesome!” but Cody resists the powerbomb to back drop Kevin onto the apron! Rollins is worried, and he wants the ring count to stop. Rollins coaches Kevin up but we’re at 5 of 10! Rollins tells Kevin to get his fat ass in the ring, but that just pisses Kevin off! Kevin storms up the ramp, Cody wins!

Winner: Cody Rhodes, by count-out

Rollins insulted his friend and screwed up his own plan! But Cody himself is upset, he wanted to win in the ring. Cody goes up to celebrate either way, only for Rollins to shove him off! Cody crashes into barriers and Rollins soaks up all the heat! Will Rollins stoop to some serious lows just to get a win over Cody?


My Thoughts:

A pretty good Raw here to keep things going from last week. A really good opening segment from Rollins and Cody, and a very clever switcheroo from Rollins on to Cody. They didn’t really play up the aspect of who the mystery opponent could be, but in the end, Kevin Owens was really the only choice. Any Heel that could be a threat to Cody (Omos, Edge, Priest) is busy in their own stories anyway, so Kevin it is. That main event was great stuff, and I figured Cody would win, but it was a good cover to have Rollins insult Kevin and Kevin not care since he has his own stuff. Rollins standing tall to end the show was also a good move to really get some heat on this build.

Speaking of Kevin, his segment with Gable and Elias/Ezekiel was hilarious in all the right ways, and of course the totally kayfabe lie detector says Elias/Ezekiel is telling the truth. Gable VS Ezekiel was a very good match, and Otis attacking to give Ezekiel the win was also a smart move. I would love if Alpha Academy challenges Elias & Ezekiel to a tag match in an attempt to expose the lie. There are a few ways Elias/Ezekiel can get around that, from a fake Elias to Elias “unable to make it” and it becomes a handicap match, I can’t wait to see which one they go with.

Very good opening tag match for the women’s tag titles, but naturally Sasha & Naomi win. And likewise, Rhea turns on Liv over Liv letting her down. Maybe something circles back to where Nikki A.S.H. says she was right about Rhea. Liv will surely have a match with Rhea but I’m pretty sure Rhea wins that. There was also good continuity with Sasha & Naomi showing up for the double wedding, or “commitment ceremony.” Name it whatever you want, wrestling weddings never work out. But that doesn’t mean the segments are always bad, cuz I really liked this one. Well, I wish Buffalo wasn’t so rowdy, they were only prolonging it since Truth kept shushing them.

But of course things turn into a 24/7 Championship scramble with Dana still holding onto the title to end the night. Would’ve been more impactful if someone else kept the belt. Then Dana can chase that person down for once. It would’ve been fun if it was Tamina, because then Team BAD would all have titles. The US Championship choice was disappointing. I get that Theory is Vince’s favorite now, both kayfabe and shoot, but it cuts storytelling out at the knees for Theory to be a champion this easily. Vince should be disappointed, Theory gets more desperate, and Theory goes nuts in order to redeem himself. But no, Theory wins, he and Vince celebrate, Vince doesn’t give a damn about Finn in kayfabe or shoot.

Veer victimizes a jobber tonight, and pretty sure he’ll do so again next week to cue Rey Mysterio calling him out. Now, I’m sure Rey will put Veer over but it’ll have to be one hell of a match first. Omos VS Lashley in an arm-wrestling match before their Backlash rematch is a fine way to build this. It’ll probably turn into a brawl, too. Edge and Priest had a good promo, though I can’t really say it added much to the story. Of course we were getting a Backlash rematch, but I suppose issuing the challenge was the only way to get Styles to be here so that the beatdown would happen. Maybe the rematch will be given a stipulation to ramp it up from Mania.

We got really good stuff out of the other titles, though. Sonya facing some karma is great stuff, it really builds off what she was doing on SmackDown. Pearce is clearly becoming the Face authority figure to counter Sonya. But I’m sure this will only motivate Sonya to try and spin this against Pearce so that “upper management,” aka Vince, will actually side with her. Then, RKBRO VS Profits was great stuff, and the Profits had an incredibly clever way of tricking Orton & Riddle. I’m sure we’ll get more Profits VS RKBRO or Usos, but I would really hope Backlash stays 2v2. You can’t really be the undisputed best tag team in WWE if you pinned some third team and not the other show’s champions.

My Score: 8.3/10


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Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 6.30.2022

The Go Home to Against All Odds with the main event of Battle of the Futures Redux! TNA vibes and hype in the Asylum!

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Against All Odds is tomorrow, and the one thing IMPACT has excelled with are the quick turnaround angles. Plus we also HOPEFULLY get a real finish to the Battle of the Futures 2022 edition. Frankie Kazarian and Chris Sabin have a main event that could definitely be something special.

Ratings:

  • Fatal 4 Way: Steve Maclin vs Trey Miguel vs Laredo Kid vs Chris Bey: Trey wins via Meteora – ***
  • Rosemary vs Gisele Shaw: Gisele wins via Knee Strike – ** ¼
  • Savannah Evans w/Tasha Steelz vs Jordynne Grace: Jordynne wins via Muscle Buster – **
  • IMPACT Tag Team Championship: The Good Brothers (c) w/James Storm vs Vincent & PCO w/ Honor No More: Karl retains via Roll Up – ** ½
  • Ace Austin w/Chris Bey vs Alex Zayne: Ace wins via The Fold – ** ¾
  • Battle of the Futures Redux: Frankie Kazarian vs Chris Sabin w/Alex Shelley: Sabin wins via Cradle Shock – *****

 

Results:

Fatal 4 Way: Steve Maclin vs Trey Miguel vs Laredo Kid vs Chris Bey

Early on the smaller men gang up on Maclin, which of course is the smart thing to do. Trey and Bey trade a few shots, Laredo tries to interject himself but Maclin comes back in and starts taking over. Wipes out most of the guys then they start trickling in for pinfall saves and each guy chopping at the bigger man. Trey does however go for a John Woo, misses and Tree of Woes himself to set up for Maclin’s Caught in the Crosshairs corner spear.

Action continues to be pretty fluid, Trey takes out Maclin, Bey looks for an Asai Moonsault, but turns it into the 5 Hole Dive that MCMG do when Laredo Kid dives through Bey’s legs. Then Bey hits the Asai Moonsault and Bey brings Laredo into the ring and tries to find a winning angle. Pop Up Cutter from Bey, but Trey saves it. A little back and forth, Trey goes to the top, misses the Meteora, but lands on his feet and manages a Running Meteora for the pinfall victory.

Trey beat Speedball before Slammiversary, so Speedball has some payback in his mind.

Rosemary vs Gisele Shaw

Madison Rayne and Tenille Dashwood are at the commentary desk for this match since Gisele did offer to fill in for an injured Madison for the Knockouts Tag rematch.

Rosemary controls Gisele early and then bends her backwards and bites her forehead. Gisele almost starts taking back over, but then Rosemary gets out of a headlock the Crazzy Steve way. Rosemary takes some control early until Gisele powders and tries to find a way back into the match. Commercial break brings us to Gisele taking Rosemary’s head off with a Lariat.

Now Gisele is in control, throws Rosemary into a corner and starts pandering for a photo op and posturing to The Influence. Gisele strings together a lot of corner attacks, whips her into the corner again and lays her out with a Flying European Uppercut. Gisele tries to hit the knee in the back of the head, but Rosemary moves and starts her comeback. Big Suplex from the corner and Rosemary keeps her down for 2. Rosemary is in control until Gisele hits and Oscutter out of nowhere for 2. Reverse DDT from Rosemary for another near fall and then The Influence is on the move. They ambush Taya, Rosemary tries to go for her Spear anyway and Shaw kills Rosemary with a great Knee Strike. Rosemary is out, Gisele wins.

A small beat down, and then The Influence pause in the ring for a little, before posing with Gisele and seemingly giving their mark of approval on her being in The Influence now.

Savannah Evans w/Tasha Steelz vs Jordynne Grace

Savannah bulldozes Jordynne into the corner, but the power game is pretty even here. Savannah has some height, but Jordynne is quicker. Jordynne manages to turn the tables on Savannah, up and over in the corner and whips her into the ropes while setting up behind her causing Evans to trip and fall. Savannah powders, Jordynne tries to break up the discussion, but after a quick flurry, Savannah hits an Apron Chokeslam and takes over.

After some back and forth, Jordynne takes back over and then Muscle Buster on Savannah Evans and its over!

IMPACT Tag Team Championship: The Good Brothers (c) w/James Storm vs Vincent & PCO w/ Honor No More

Karl and Vincent start things off, and corner to corner we see the Machine Gun in control, but a thumb to the eyes and quick strike give Vincent the chance to tag in PCO. French Canadian Frankenstein starts beating on Karl, throws him into the ropes, Vincent kicks him and it just pisses off Karl. But Karl getting distracted gives PCO the ambush chance and Karl is just getting rocked. Vincent tagged back in, quick strikes including a corner Facewash with the elbow, sliding Flatliner and PCO is back in.

PCO goes Splash into dropping DDT before hitting the middle rope Guillotine Leg Drop. LG has gotten no action while Karl is getting killed. Deanimator set up looks to take out Karl even further, and it hits! Vincent tags in, and finally Anderson Spinebuster gets LG a hot tag. Big Boot takes out PCO on the apron, Superkick and flying Big Man flattens Vincent, tag to Karl, Magic Killer set up…but PCO with the save. Satellite Russian Leg Sweep from Vincent, RedRUM misses and Karl scoops the Small Package for the win.

Immediately Honor No More attacks. Chris Harris slides in and Honor No More choose to jaw and tease him instead of attacking immediately. HEATH’s music hits before they can attack Harris, and he comes loaded with pipes. Harris and Heath lay out Honor No More with pipes, Wake Up Call from Heath, Pump Kick, Gun Stun and then only Taven is left. Last Call Superkick sends Taven to sleep.

Ace Austin w/Chris Bey vs Alex Zayne

Zayne tries to start immediately, but Ace takes a page from the Jay White book and powders right away. Ace stays a step ahead until a nice Flipping Bodyscissors out of the corner keeps Ace rolling and eating some kicks. Ace tries a top corner move and Zayne flips into a Headscissors for the advantage before commercial. Coming back Ace is in control after driving Zayne into the post.

Ace and Zayne trade, we see Zayne finally get the best of the situations. Cinnamon Twist or Crunchwrap Supreme are hinted at, but Ace rolls away. Zayne tries to get Ace in position for his Taco Driver, but Ace has all the answers. Big kicks and strikes, Ace goes for the Outside/In Avalanche Headscissors, but Zayne mostly flips the through it, but eats a Triangle Kick for his attempted counter. The Fold – gets countered with a Sauce Trigger! Ace powders, Moonsauce to take out Bey and Ace, but Bey grabs his foot before he can get back in, Ace keeps the referee distracted…THE FOLD as soon as Zayne is back in the ring and Bullet Club wins!

Battle of the Futures Redux: Frankie Kazarian vs Chris Sabin w/ Alex Shelley

If this is as good as I anticipate…I may forget how to type. So fair warning if I get sucked in, this could be a short review.

We saw both men had a plan, Sabin went after Kaz’s legs early and often, where Kaz focused on the neck. There were great callbacks, classic moments, even the feint with the Flux Capacitor which is how Kaz won the original Battle of the Futures.

This was Brian Hebner’s final match, and hot damn was it a classic. Everything about this was great.

Overall Score: 9/10

Starting out hot with the X Division match, 2 solid Knockouts matches and a main event that could’ve easily been on any PPV over the last 20 years. This set the stage well for tomorrow’s Against All Odds and could’ve been one of the best Go Home episodes from any company in recent memory. Also it was really awesome getting the Raven vignette to hype the Clockwork Orange House of Fun.

My review of Against All Odds will be a little late since I had prior engagements because Fridays aren’t usually PPVs, but I’ll get to it on Saturday. Watch it live yourself, catch the run down Saturday, either way IMPACT is killin it with that TNA vibe. Maybe its time we go back to a certain 3 letters…a 6 sided ring, or hell, just announce Lethal Lockdown. Bring that back from the dead dammit!


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Mitchell’s WWE NXT UK Results & Report! (6/30/22)

WHY, SEVEN, WHY?!

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Artful Dodger or dastardly coward? You decide!

Last time he was on NXT UK, Trent Seven gave us crocodile tears and betrayed Tyler Bate! What will Seven say this week about what he’s done?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Blair Davenport VS Angel Hayze; Davenport wins.
  • Emilia McKenzie VS Fallon Henley; Henley wins.
  • Wolfgang VS Sha Samuels w/ Noam Dar; Wolfgang wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Blair Davenport VS Angel Hayze!

NXT UK beware, it’s the return of the heir! The gothic gladiator is back after that freak accident during her NXT UK Women’s Championship match with Meiko Satomura. Will Blair prove that nothing will stop her from taking the throne this time? Or will Angel leave her in a haze in her first match back?

The bell rings and the two circle. Blair and Angel tie up, go around, and Blair puts Angel on the ropes. The ref counts but Blair lets off fast. Blair and Angel reset, tie up, and Blair shoves Angel down! Fans rally up as Angel and Blair reset again. They tie up, Angel gets around to waistlock, Blair arm-drags free and Angel flounders to a corner. Blair runs in but Angel goes up and over, TWO! Angel boots Blair’s punch away, sobats then runs, to SHOTGUN Blair down! Cover, ONE!! Fans rally, Angel drags Blair up and reels her in, but Blair fights the suplex. Blair powers up, wrenches out and WRINGS the arm!

Fans rally as Blair snarls and stalks Angel. Blair runs in at the corner, Angel goes up and over again, but runs into a CHOP BLOCK! Blair DROPKICKS Angel in the back! Blair pushes Angel over to CLUB her on the back. Blair pushes Angel around, kicks her, and Angel gets to a corner. Blair is after her already and throws a heavy body shot! Angel hits back but Blair CLUBS her down again. Blair hauls Angel up, whips her to ropes and runs her over! Cover, TWO! Blair clamps onto Angels with a chinlock and she grinds Angel down. Fans rally as Angel endures, but Blair thrashes her around. Blair cranks the hold but Angel fights up to her feet.

Angel throws body shots, Blair CLUBS her again! Blair hauls Angel up to whip her to a corner. Blair runs in and GAMANGIRIS! Blair shoves Angel onto ropes, then runs side to side, SLIDING KICK! Cover, TWO! Angel survives and Blair is annoyed but the fans rally up. Blair shoves Angel to a corner, but Angel hits back. Blair CLUBS Angel, stands her up and whips her corner to corner. Blair runs in but Angel dodges and Blair hits buckles! Angel returns with a forearm smash! And then a back elbow! Angel keeps moving, she evades the lariat to fire off forearms and a ROLLING ELBOW! Angel runs again, SLINGBLADE! Cover, TWO!

Fans rally as Blair goes to a corner. Angel runs corner to corner but into a BOOT! Blair hops up and leaps to missile dropkick! Blair drags Angel up, reels her in, but Angel wrenches out to reel Blair in! GUILLOTINE! Angel has Blair in the body scissors, too! Blair endures, stays up, CLUBS Angel and powers out with a BIG suplex! Fans fire up, Blair hauls Angel up for the FALCON ARROW! Cover, Blair wins!

Winner: Blair Davenport, by pinfall

And the heir gets right back on track! Blair gets the mic to say she is back! And she is here to crush all of your hopes. Is that key word a message to a certain someone? Or is it a message to everyone who would dare defy the heir?

 

NXT UK Media caught up with Sid Scala.

The Assistant General Manager returns to his office, and Kenny Williams is there waiting! Kenny says it’s about time Sid showed up! Kenny’s been working all night, as we can see by the conspiracy web taking over Sid’s office, and Kenny claims he has finally figured it out! Tiger Turan has to be none other than… Sid says Kenny needs to stop, this isn’t why Sid asked to meet with him. This is about next week, a match between Kenny and Tiger Turan! And just as Sid says that, Tiger steps in. Kenny says this is just who he was looking for. But here’s what will happen. Kenny will win, knock Turan out and take off his mask to reveal it’s Amir Jordan!

So right now, Tiger Turan can clean up this mess while Kenny prepares. Is the Scum of the Earth on to something? Is Tiger Turan obsessed with Kenny because it’s Amir Jordan, the man Kenny banished from NXT UK over a year ago? Or is he going to lose this match along with his mind?

 

Noam Dar & Sha Samuels enter the NXT UK Performance Center.

The Scottish Supernova isn’t sure why they’re here, but the East End Bookie/Butcher promises it is for good reason: they’re going to make some big money. Dar then sees the ring and the training session Mark Coffey is helping with. Dar & Sha taunt them and Mark walks over to ask, “What’s wrong? Run out of ways to cheat?” Dar says he never needs to cheat, and certainly not to beat Mark. Dar didn’t need to cheat to beat “Dog Man” Wolfgang, or to beat big brother Joe and run him out of town. Mark points out Dar only won because of his bookie at ringside. Mark guarantees that if Sha isn’t around, Mark wins the cup.

Sha says no way, Dar is the best ever! Mark says they can bet on it. Sha takes that bet! 100 to 1, Dar still beats Mark! Sha puts money on it quite literally, and says the market is open! Everyone else swarms Sha, wanting to put money on this, too! Dar looks worried with just how many want to join in. Are they betting all on Mark? Dar is a bit upset by that, but will he prove Sha right and take everyone, including Coffey, to the cleaners?

 

Emilia McKenzie VS Fallon Henley!

#SuplexMillie is still Meiko Satomura’s protégé, but she might be feeling the pressure as of late. The Final Boss demands the best out of her disciple, but will those expectations be met? Or will the Cowgirl rope herself a big win just like Briggs & Jensen did?

The bell rings and the two tie up. They go around, end up in a deadlock, but Millie shots around to waistlock. Fallon pries at the hold, standing switches, and SLAMS Millie down. Millie slips out to hammerlock and fans rally for Millie as she cranks the hold. Fallon fights to sit up, rolls out and has the wristlock. Millie slips through, wristlocks back, but Fallon pries at the hold. Fallon slips through, hammerlocks Millie now, but Millie works on the hold. Fallon rolls Millie up, TWO! Fans applaud the opening exchange as the two stare down. Fallon and Millie reset, tie up with knuckle locks, and they have a test of strength!

Millie wrenches the wrists, kicks an arm, rolls and trips Fallon to have a standing toehold! Fallon endures, uses her free leg to kick free, but Millie cartwheels through. Fans applaud again, and even Fallon offers a handshake. Millie accepts and fans cheer the sportsmanship, and the two tie up again. Millie powers Fallon back but Fallon turns it around to arm-drag Millie away. Fallon shoots in but Millie sits on the cover, ONE! Fallon sunset flips, ONE! Millie tries a jackknife but Fallon rolls through it, TWO! Millie has the sunset, TWO!! Fans fire up for that exchange and the two reset again.

They tie up, Millie headlocks, but Fallon powers up. Millie holds tight, Fallon pries the hold open and turns it around onto Millie! Millie endures, powers out but Fallon runs her over! Fallon does a two step then runs, but Millie keeps up with the drop, sidestep, but Fallon counters hip toss with a hip toss! Fallon arm-drags Millie away and Millie takes a moment to catch her breath. Fallon is on her but Millie EuroUppers! Millie kicks low, CLUBS Fallon on the back, and has her on the ropes. Millie CLUBS Fallon again, has her in a corner now and kicks her low. Fallon throws shots back but Millie CLUBS Fallon, into the TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! Cover, TWO!

Fans rally and Millie clamps on a chinlock. Millie shifts to have almost a bully choke but Fallon endures. Fans rally again as Fallon fights up. Fallon throws elbows, body shots, but Millie EuroUppers! Fallon catches on to hooks and a backslide, TWO! Fallon rolls Millie again, TWO! Millie CLOBBERS Fallon! Cover, TWO! Millie is on Fallon again, going after the arms. Fallon fights but Millie still gets a COBRA CLUTCH! Fallon endures, resists, and fans rally as Millie still tries to lock this on! Fallon fights, Millie might just have it! Fallon is fading as Millie bends her backwards!! But Fallon gets a second wind and pries free to arm-drag Millie away!

Millie comes back to ROCK Fallon, Fallon ROCKS Millie! They throw hands, and Fallon DECKS Millie! Fallon fires up to back elbow Millie in a corner! And then a RUNNING FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Fans fire up as Millie survives! Fallon drags Millie up, fireman’s carries, but Millie slips off and shoves to then LARIAT! And again! Millie shoots around to get Fallon up for a BIG bag suplex! Cover, TWO! Fans rally and Millie snarls as she hauls Fallon up. Fallon fights the German Suplex, pops free to switch, but Millie elbows Fallon. Millie whips Fallon to a corner but Fallon goes up and over. Fallon’s leg tweaks! Millie shows no mercy, CHOP BLOCK!!

Millie stomps away on Fallon’s leg and fans fire up! Millie drags Fallon up, reels her in, SHIN BREAKER! And then another SHIN BREAKER! Fallon hobbles, Millie gets her again, but Fallon sunset flips! FALLON WINS!

Winner: Fallon Henley, by pinfall

Millie showed her killer instinct, but maybe she let it get the better of her! Will this be the exact opposite of what Meiko wanted for Millie?

 

NXT UK Media catches up with Oliver Carter.

They ask him if he’s been keeping in contact with Ashton Smith while he’s out with injury. Of course! Oliver has Ashton on speed dial. They are brothers, that’s never gonna change. But then Teoman and his Die Familie “brothers,” Rohan Raja and Charlie Dempsey slither in and say hi to “Oli.” They sit with him and they feel like this is deja vu. Oliver’s alone, no Ashton Smith, no titles. Oliver needs a family to watch out for him. It is a dangerous place out there. Join them! It’s in his best interest. They’ll let him think about it, and take their leave. Is there anything to think about? Or will the Hottest Superstar Under the Sun actually consider their invitation?

 

NXT UK Media catches up with Sarray.

The Warrior of the Sun is about to get in a set of squats as they ask her how she feels after her NXT UK debut. Sarray says it was very good. She got a win over Nina Samuels, and she- “Aww~, look!” Xia and Eliza return to mock Sarray for simply training in the UK PC after her first win. It’s so cute. But has Eliza heard the good news? Sarray’s sticking around for a bit. Oh, is she? But then Meiko and Millie step up to back the bullies down. Eliza tells Sarray that she better just play by their rules, or they’ll be more than happy to teach Sarray a few things.

Meiko tells Eliza that she talks too much. If Eliza & Xia want a match with Meiko and Sarray, then Eliza & Xia will be the ones being taught a lesson. Millie seems a bit surprised Meiko didn’t choose her, while Xia & Eliza storm off, Xia complaining about who is teaching who lessons. But with that, Sarray finishes putting up the weights for Meiko to take a turn. Will Final Boss & Warrior of the Sun prove to the bullies the power of Joshi Strong Style?

 

Wolfgang VS Sha Samuels w/ Noam Dar!

The Last King of Scotland heard the East End Butcher talking some smack like he wouldn’t hear it. But since he did, it’s time for Sha to put his money where his mouth is! Will Wolfgang get a big win and cash in? Or will Sha find another way to weasel out another victory?

The bell rings and the two circle. Sha gets some last minute pointers from Dar. They say they can frustrate Wolfgang and get the edge. But then Dar needs to give Sha another pointer. The ref insists they get this started already, and Wolfgang rushes in. Sha dodges, then dodges again. Sha goes back to Dar for that last pointer but Wolfgang throws Sha out of the corner! Wolfgang fires off haymakers, then an arm-drag! Wolfgang keeps on the arm with a wristlock, then stands Sha up to RAM shoulders. And again! And then a straight arm lever and SLAM! Fans fire up and Wolfgang drags Sha up again to RAM shoulders again.

Wolfgang wrenches, and hits a straight arm suplex! Cover, ONE! Dar is upset but Wolfgang keeps on Sha’s arm. Sha ROCKS Wolfgang with his free arm, then bumps Wolfgang off buckles. Sha bumps Wolfgang off more buckles, then throws heavy back elbows. Sha runs in to SPLASH Wolfgang. Wolfgang shoves Sha away, runs in, but Sha sends Wolfgang into buckles! Fans boo but Dar wants to throw up the X. Sha grabs the bad arm for an ARMBAR DDT! Sha CLUBS the bad arm, uppercuts it, then hip drops on it! Wolfgang clutches that arm, tries to get it working, but Sha drops an elbow on it!

Sha clamps onto the arm, Wolfgang fights the cobra clutch and throws body shots. But Sha wrenches and WRINGS the bad arm! Dar offers a drink but Sha says no, he has to keep working. Sha throws down elbows into the bad arm, then stands on Wolfgang to say, “ON THE MONEY~!” Sha KICKS the bad leg, then shouts out “EAST~!” Sha stomps Wolfgang but fans chant, “You’re a Mug! You’re a Mug!” Dar says yeah, Wolfgang’s the mug! But that’s not who they mean. Sha RAMS Wolfgang into the buckles, stomps away on the bad arm, then runs in to stomp it again! The ref backs Sha off, and Dar SMACKS Wolfgang around with the papers!

Wolfgang gets mad and he CHOPS Sha! And CHOPS again! And counter punches! Wolfgang suplexes Sha, but Sha fights to get to the apron. Sha HOTSHOTS the bad arm! Wolfgang staggers away and Sha gets in to run and LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Wolfgang is still in this, and Dar offers another drink. Sha says no, and he drops elbow after elbow on Wolfgang! Sha then goes up a corner, and leaps for a FLYING ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Wolfgang is still in this and fans rally up. Sha stalks Wolfgang, CLUBS him at the ropes, then pulls on the bad arm. Wolfgang ROCKS Sha and gives him a kitchen sink knee! BASEMENT SENTON!

Dar is worried as Wolfgang suplexes Sha for the CAB- NO, no toss! Sha slips off, CLUBS Wolfgang and has a top wristlock on the bad arm! Fans rally as Wolfgang endures, fights up, but Sha wants the arm! Wolfgang arm-drags free! Wolfgang goes to the corner, Sha runs in but Wolfgang sends him into buckles! Wolfgang bumps Sha off buckles, fires off haymakers, then keeps Sha cornered to CHOP! Wolfgang whips corner to corner, then runs in, into an uppercut! Wolfgang snarls, shoves Sha back in, and SPLASHES in the corner! Sha flops and Wolfgang is on the apron, working on the bad arm.

Wolfgang climbs but Dar distracts! The ref reprimands but Wolfgang leaps, into a SPINEBUSTER from Sha! Cover, TWO!! Fans rally for Wolfgang while Sha is furious! Sha hauls Wolfgang up, reels him in and whips, but Wolfgang slips off the scoop to POINT-BLANK SPEAR!! But the bad arm holds Wolfgang back from making the cover, and Sha crawls away to his corner. Dar fans Sha, but fans rally for Wolfgang. Wolfgang grabs at Sha on the apron, hauls him up the corner, but Sha throws body shots. Sha HOTSHOTS the bad arm again! Wolfgang is stuck up top and Sha ROCKS him with haymakers! Sha DECKS Wolfgang!

Sha climbs up again, for the FROG SPLASH onto knees! Wolfgang saves himself but both men are down and writhing. Fans rally up again and Wolfgang grits his teeth as he gets back up. Wolfgang rallies on Sha with the one good arm! Wolfgang whips Sha to then back drop him! Fans fire up, Sha gets to a corner and Wolfgang runs in to fire off forearms! Wolfgang howls and runs, to SPLASH again! Dar is up on the apron but Wolfgang BOOTS him down! Fans cheer and Wolfgang SLINGSHOTS to SPEAR!! Cover, Wolfgang wins!!

Winner: Wolfgang, by pinfall

Fans cheer as the Last King of Scotland stands tall! This Gallus Boy is on top, but will Mark Coffey be on top in two weeks after he gets one more shot at Dar and the Heritage Cup?

 

Trent Seven heads to the ring.

And what a strange thing, for all the fans to boo this Founding Father of NXT UK. He gets a mic and “thanks” us all for that reception. Seven heard the chant of “Why, Trent, Why?” Good question! He will use visual aids to explain just exactly why. The tron shows Trent giving Tyler Bate that truly underhanded low blow uppercut. Trent gets teary eyed as he says it is just beautiful. “It’s the best low blow ever. That’s what it is.” Just look at his positioning! A work of art, really. And more importantly, it represents a turning point. “That right there is the most important moment in British Sports.” Fans chant, “No it’s not! No it’s not!”

But he says yes it is, and we all know it is, “because it’s the moment that Trent Seven saved the industry.” Fans boo but Seven asks they listen. It is the truth “because this place was dead! This studio was a ghost town! And now look at you all! Now look at you all back! The largest crowd in NXT UK BT Sports history is here because Trent Seven is on top!” Fans boo more but Seven says, “It’s a fact. This is where I like to be. Right here. Right at the top, right in the middle, the CENTER of attention!” Fans chant, “We Want Tyler!” and Seven is annoyed. “Tyler Bate is done. Now I am the center of attention, and we were the center of attention as British Strong Style! And as Moustache Mountain.”

Seven goes on about how they were touring the world, selling out every arena, and promotors were begging them to even be on the shows. “Please~! We need you~!” Yes, they did. And that is why fans need to understand it isn’t Seven who changed, it’s Tyler who changed. Seven never lost the killer instinct, he never stopped doing what was needed to win, but it was Tyler who lost his nerve. That will to win is gone, because “it’s all that rubbish, sitting in a field, hugging a tree.” But Bate isn’t coming back, and we know he won’t because he won’t fight Seven! Fans chant, “Yes, He Will!” Seven says no, he won’t, because Bate lost his fighting spirit.

“Tyler Bate is the Little Weak Boy. And I am NXT UK! I am this brand! I am NXT! I am British Strong Style! Come here! Come here! I am Moustache Mountain!!” Fans boo as Seven sets down the mic, and Seven says everyone knows he’s telling the truth. Is he telling the truth about the future of NXT UK? Or will Tyler Bate prove Trent Seven is a liar and make a heroic return?

Wait, a fan gets really heated about Seven saying Tyler is weak and afraid. So much so, friends and security are trying to get him to calm down. But the fan jumps the barrier instead! Security rushes in to stop this man from getting closer and Seven says, “We’ve got a live one!” And then he LOW BLOW KICKS the fan!! Referees rush out and say Seven is out of line! Seven says the fan is the one who got up in Seven’s face. Is there nothing Seven won’t do just to make himself feel like the bigger man?


My Thoughts:

A very good episode of NXT UK with some good set-up for the summer episodes. Blair Davenport gets a good return match win, with Angel Hayze still looking very good in the loss. And Blair emphasizing “hope” at the end of her promo has to be her setting up something with Amale before moving on to the title again. Kenny and Sid had a good interaction to set up Kenny VS Tiger Turan. But sadly for me and my theories, if Kenny also thinks Amir Jordan is Tiger Turan, then that must mean it isn’t because they wouldn’t do that. They can’t let Kenny be right about this, right? It’d be pretty wild for Kenny to win and be right about who Tiger Turan is under the mask.

Millie VS Fallon was a very good match, but I feel like they could’ve played up more of Millie struggling to be aggressive before it backfired on her. But Millie losing does help build her story of disappointing Meiko and herself. Millie also had a very good bit of character work showing her surprise and bit of hurt feelings when Meiko chose Sarray to be her tag partner against Xia & Eliza. But that’s still going to be an awesome match with Sarray and Meiko side by side. Meiko & Sarray will surely win and that will surely set up Meiko VS Sarray for an awesome NXT UK Women’s Championship.

We got a decent interaction from Oliver Carter and Die Familie. I would think Carter rejects Die Familie’s invitation, and he could easily team up with other superstars who don’t like Die Familie, like Mastiff & Starz or even A-Kid. And we got a pretty good promo with Sha, Dar and Mark Coffey about how we’re getting that 100 to 1 betting odds Heritage Cup match. If Mark is getting one more shot in what Dar claims should be his “retirement” match, does that mean Mark wins? Someone from Gallus should get something more, and Dar losing will be his own reason for “not retiring.” Plus, if Mark wins, and Joe Coffey comes back, I’d love seeing Mark VS Joe for the cup.

Wolfgang VS Sha was a great main event match, and I figured Wolfgang would win to get Gallus back up. I don’t know what’s next for Wolfgang, but he’s always been a solid character and in-ring worker. And then, we closed with a very good promo from Seven, with him playing off the crowd’s chants and booing very well. That final bit with “the fan” was quite a surprise but it sure adds to Seven’s Heel heat. But obviously, Bate is coming back and he is going to have one hell of a match with Seven. Can’t be sure who wins that, but it’d make a lot of sense if Seven cheated to win, and then somehow, Seven uses that to go after Ilja Dragunov and the UK Championship.

My Score: 8.5/10


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