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Mitchell’s WWE WrestleMania 38 Results & Report! (4/3/22)

There can only be ONE!

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It’s night two of the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania ever!

And in the biggest main event ever, the reigning, defending World and Universal Champions battle to determine a NEW UNDISPUTED WWE CHAMPION!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Raw Tag Team Championships Triple Threat: RKBRO VS The Alpha Academy VS The Street Profits; RKBRO wins and retains the titles.
  • Omos VS Bobby Lashley; Lashley wins.
  • Anything Goes: Sami Zayn VS Johnny Knoxville; Knoxville wins.
  • WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 Way: Carmella & Queen Zelina Vega VS Sasha Banks & Naomi VS Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley VS Shayna Baszler & Natalya; Sasha & Naomi win and become the new WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions.
  • Edge VS AJ Styles; Edge wins.
  • The New Day VS Sheamus & Ridge Holland w/ “Butch” Pete Dunne; Sheamus & Ridge win.
  • Austin Theory VS Pat McAfee; McAfee wins.
  • Pat McAfee VS Vince McMahon w/ Austin Theory; McMahon wins.
  • WWE World & Universal Championships, Winner Takes All Title Unification: Brock Lesnar VS Roman Reigns w/ The Bloodline; Roman wins and becomes the Undisputed WWE Universal Champion.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the WrestleMania 38 Kickoff Show!

The most STUPENDOUS weekend is almost over, but join Kayla Braxton, Kevin Patrick, Booker T, Jerry “The King” Lawler and Peter Rosenberg for another two hours to discuss last night, as well as discuss, analyze and predict this night’s card!

 

What is God Mode?

Roman Reigns himself says, “God Mode is 200 IQ plus world class athlete. It’s not a switch, it’s years and years of work. It’s a journey. And anyone who has reached the top of what they do understands what it takes. That’s allowed me to that point of experience where I’m just smarter than everybody else.” Roman is in Western Florida and the gym. The gym doesn’t acknowledge him. If he can’t do it, he can’t do it. He pushes himself every single time. What someone does in the weight room, it has to translate to the field, tot he ring. Explosion, power, conditioning. Roman gets stronger as the match goes on.

He still believes in the old school, nitty gritty, pick up the weight and own it. All the classic lifts. These are what the real pros have tapped into and it is nothing different for him. He knows how to handle Brock Lesnar. He learned from every false step, reanalyzed every little detail that we thought of, and the ones we didn’t because we’re not as smart of him. There is one sliver of credit that goes to that “Hillbilly farm boy.” He’ll be in the record books as the supporting player to the number one guy, Roman Reigns. Roman has manifested the outcome he sees fit for the Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the Bloodline. God Mode gonna come easy.

This is Roman’s sixth main event and he will finally beat Brock to become the greatest WWE Champion of all time. No arguments, no debates, this is factual. The biggest main event of all time, and Roman’s ready. Will Dallas be ready for it?

 

Matt Camp hangs out with more fans.

Tonight could be a Jackass playground! Team Johnny or Team Sami? One young lady says she grew up with Johnny, she can’t wait to see the stunts he pulls! But one of the guys says he’s done with celebrities thinking they can perform. Sami will Helluva Kick Johnny back to Hollywood! What happens when it is truly Anything Goes?

 

Jackie Redmond is with fans inside the arena.

Another wild and rowdy crowd is ready for this one, and they have traveled far and wide from all over the world! How far did these guys come from? Bangladesh! And all worth it, baby! They are here to see Roman Reigns, what do they predict? He’ll SMASH Lesnar all over AT&T Stadium! Well, the Head of the Table likes to be acknowledge, will they acknowledge him? “Tribal Chief! We acknowledge you! The one!”

 

Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.

Megan says the moment is finally here: the biggest WrestleMania Match ever. Title unification! Is Heyman nervous? “That’s the best question that she has for me?” Well, yes, he is nervous. But he’s more than a little nervous. HE’s… ill at ease. He doesn’t feel well. Tonight, Heyman has to mourn the end of a friendship, and a career that has spanned over 20 years. One of an NCAA Heavyweight Champion, a UFC Heavyweight Champion, and a WWE Heavyweight and Universal Heavyweight Champion. The loss of a friendship and career of Brock Lesnar. Heyman’s been here before. Deja vu even.

He’s speaking of WrestleMania 30, when Heyman knew he would conquer The Undertaker’s undefeated streak and half that credit went to Lesnar. But he knew it would happen. And knew that was the beginning of the end of The Deadman. The downward spiral that would bring the end of an exquisite career. And the way Heyman felt for Taker at the hands of Lesnar is how he feels now for Lesnar at the hands of Roman Reigns! This is a must-win match for both but there must be a loser! One man will stand above the other, both titles in the air, and that man and Heyman look down at the end of the career of Brock…! Lesnar!

 

Maria Menounos interviews Zelina Vega & Carmella.

She asks the Queen of the Ring and the Most Beautiful Woman in WWE how they’re going to retain. Oh, how cute. They’ll explain a Fatal 4 Way to her: Vega can get a pinfall or submission, or Mella can get a pinfall or submission, and they retain. But then what about the other six women in the match? Oh, Liv? A weirdo. Rhea? A spikey weirdo. Sasha? Overrated. Naomi? Did she beg to be in this match? Natalya? Nasty Natty. Shayna? Scary… ‘Tis not fear, ’tis adrenaline! But no one takes down the rightful champions without sacrificing their pathetic little lives! Now, Vega & Mella are going to make sure the champagne is chilling. Will they be popping bottles? Or be getting popped by one of their many contenders?

 

Matt Camp is hanging out with more fans!

With less than an hour, they’re all fired up! And Sam is here in Texas, to ACKNOWLEDGE his Head of the Table, Matt’s Head of the Table, during the biggest match of all time, ROMAN REIGNS! One young fan wants to see McAfee beat Austin Theory! And another wants Edge to beat AJ Styles!

 

Jackie Redmond spends time with even more fans.

We’re just hours away from that very same match, with fans divided in Team Brock and Team Roman. Why is Roman better? He dominates everybody! He’ll win easily! Lesnar has no chance! But what about Team Brock? They vote for the REIGNING! DEFENDING! UNIFIED CHAMPION OF THE WORLD~! BRRROCK! LESNARRR!

 

Maria Menounos is outside Mr. McMahon’s office.

But Austin Theory walks out and asks if she has a question for him. Oh she does. He has a match with Pat McAfee, but doe she have a strategy? He has no worries. He just talked with Vince, and as his protégé, Vince has all the confidence in Theory showing no mercy to that retired NFL punter, “Fat McAfee.” Look at McAfee and look at Theory! There’s no comparison! McAfee apologized once, so he’ll apologize again for even stepping into that ring. Then Theory will win and take the most STUPENDOUS selfie. And all McAfee will remember is A-Town putting him down! Selfie with Maria!

 

Maria Menounos interviews Bobby Lashley.

Maria says Lashley made history by being the first superstar to knock Omos off his feet. Can he do it again and end the undefeated streak? Lashley knows Omos is a monster. He debuted last year at WrestleMania, dominated ever since. He’s beaten everyone, and decimated whole tag teams without breaking a sweat. But that’s why Lashley is charged up. He is going to put the myth of Omos to rest! Omos is unbeaten, but that doesn’t mean he’s unbeatable. Will this be a truly MIGHTY match?

 

Performing America the Beautiful, singer, fashion designer and writer, Jessie James Decker!

 

The most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania Weekend is almost over!

Mark Wahlberg says, “It’s rare that the sequel is as good as the original. Is this one of those rare moments? There’s only one way to find out. Let’s run it back.” The passion, the pageantry, the power and all things STUPENDOUS. Yeah, you gotta run that back. Sequel pro-tip: keep them guessing. The good guys, the not so good, and a lot of action, as well as the biggest WrestleMania main event of all time! Title unification, winner take all, and there can only be one. No more previews. This sequel isn’t just edge-of-your-seat, but OUT of your seat action. Mark’s not crying, you’re crying. Welcome back to the most STUPENDOUS two-night Mania in history!

 

TRIPLE H IIS HERE!!

The Game may have retired from in-ring competition, but he’d never miss out on the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania in history! He goes right to the ring as fans go nuts! He hugs his three daughters, says hey to Gable Steveson, then gives us one last blast of water! HHH goes up to the corner, does his iconic flex pose, and then soaks in the moment as fans chant his name. HHH gets a mic and his wrestling boots. Fans chant, “Thank You, Hunter!” as he sets the boots down in the middle of the ring and throws up a Too Sweet. HHH then says, “I just wanted to come out here to say thank you.”

And to show us HHH’s love the best way he knows how, “WELCOME TO WRESTLEMANIA!” Pyro goes off with that and the fans cheer. HHH leaves mic down by the boots, and takes one last exit from the ring to the back. #ThankYouHHH.

 

Raw Tag Team Championships Triple Threat: RKBRO VS The Alpha Academy VS The Street Profits!

The Viper and the Stallion have the gold back again, but once again they’re in a Triple Threat situation! Swap out Kevin Owens & Seth Rollins and plug in Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford, will the Profits change the math and the results? Will “Master” Chad Gable & Otis get the belts back #ForTheAcademy? Or will the unlikeliest WWE duo in a long time still be on top of the Raw Tag Division?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if anyone survives the three most dangerous letters in sports entertainment.

In this Triple Threat, there is one man from each team. Riddle, Ford and Gable start, and Gable tries to “SHOOSH~!” everyone. So Ford SLAPS Gable, Riddle ROUNDHOUSES him! Ford rolls Riddle, ONE! Riddle fireman’s carries, but Ford slips off and shoves to then follow and LARIAT! Gable gets up to GERMAN SUPLEX Ford! Bridging cover, BROTON breaks it! Dawkins throws Riddle out but Orton throws Dawkins out! Gable throws Orton out but Ford throws Gable out! Otis TOSSES Ford out hard! The tree trunk with arms roars but fans boo! The teams all regroup, but now it’s a chaotic brawl!

Otis throws Riddle out, Dawkins stomps Orton, Ford ENZIGURIS Gable! Gable is in a corner, Ford himself is dizzy from his landing, but he gets up to run and FLIES over the corner! Ford takes out everyone but Gable! Gable decides to go up, and he ARIHARA MOONSAULTS onto everyone! All six men are down and fans are fired up! Gable gets up, he finds Riddle and puts him in the ring. Gable drags Riddle up, throws body shots, but Riddle fires back! Otis tags in, Gable whips Riddle, DISCUS GERMAN COMBO! “A thank yew~!” Fans boo again but Otis stomps Riddle down. Otis drags Riddle up and hits a short arm LARIAT!

Otis says, “For the Academy!” Otis then drags Riddle up, another short arm LARIAT! Otis runs, for a SPLASH! Otis toys with Riddle, fans rally up, and Otis scoops to SLAM Riddle! Fans fire up for RKBRO but Otis sits Riddle up for a neck wrench. Riddle endures, fights up, reaches out, but Otis knees him low. Otis brings Riddle around, ROCKS him with a right, then brings him to the corner. Tag to Gable, Gable NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Gable gets Riddle by a leg, hooks it for a standing toehold, and says, “A THANK YEW~!” Riddle endures, reaches out, but it’s also a cover, TWO!

Riddle uses his free leg to kick at Gable! Riddle gets free, gets to his feet, but Gable blocks a kick for a DRAGON SCREW! But Ford returns to dropkick Gable! Ford runs in but into a throat chop! Gable runs in, MONKEY FLIP! Ford flounders hard, Gable covers him, TWO! Gable looms over Ford now, brings him up for a waistlock, but Ford slips out of the back suplex to tag Dawkins! Dawkins runs, hurdles and FLYING ELBOWS! Then an EXPLODER for Riddle! EXPLODER for Gable! Otis tags in while Dawkins gives Riddle the SILENCER! Cover, SPLASH from Otis! Both men just got crushed!

Otis puts Riddle in a corner, RAMS into him, then brings Riddle to the corner. Riddle fights off the Academy, goes up and over, Otis POSTS himself! Gable tags in, gets Riddle’s leg, ANKLE LOCK! Riddle fights up, and KNEES free! Dawkins hurries to stop Riddle as fans rally, but Riddle fireman’s carries, BRO TO SLEEP! All three men are down and fans are fired up! Riddle crawls over, so does Dawkins, hot tags to Ford and Orton! The Viper rallies, fans are fired up, POWERSLAM! Orton gets fired up now as he has Ford on the apron! Ford slips out of the ropes to trip Orton and bring him out!

Orton blocks the desk smack to SMACK Ford! Then DESK BACK SUPLEX! Gable runs in, he gets a DESK BACK SUPLEX! Orton is having fun now! He has Ford in the ropes, Riddle intercepts Dawkins with a KNEE! Dawkins ends up in the ropes and now Riddle has him! RKBRO with the DOUBLE DRAPING DDT’s for the Profits! Fans are thunderous as RKBRO hears those voices in their heads! But the Academy drags them out to RAM them into barriers! DISCUS ELBOW for Dawkins! Gable climbs, Otis Electric Chair Lifts Ford, FLYING BULLDOG! Shoutout to the Steiner Brothers! Cover, TWO!!

Gable is furious over the count but somehow Ford survives! But Gable puts Ford in a drop zone and Otis wants to shout out Vader now! Only for Riddle and Dawkins to shove him over together! Dawkins then TOSSES Riddle, he tags in as Gable MONKEY FLIPS! Ford lands on his feet, Dawkins gets Gable up top! Ford says “SUCK IT!” before a BLOCKBUSTER DOOMSDAY! Cover, TWO!? Gable survives now and now one can believe it! “This is Awesome!” as Dawkins, Gable and Riddle slowly rise. Gable gets out of the ring, Riddle runs in but is put on the apron. Riddle ROCKS Dawkins, PENLTY KICKS Otis, but Dawkins DECKS Riddle!

Otis tosses Riddle down, Dawkins turns around but denies an RKO! ANOINTING! Tag to Ford, Dawkins FLIES onto Otis!! Ford is all fired up, but Riddle gets him for a SUPER RKO!!! Fans are going nuts as RKBRO is left in the ring! Gable drags himself up to the apron and then the top of a corner! Gable leaps, into an RKO!!! Cover, RKBRO WINS!

Winners: RKBRO, by pinfall (still Raw Tag Team Champions)

BROOOO! That was perhaps the most STUPENDOUS tag title Triple Threat ever! And in the end, the Viper & the Stallion continue their wild ride! The Profits get back in the ring, with Solo cups, and they fist bump it out for respect. But even more so, Ford and Dawkins give them a little bit of that somethin’ somethin’! They even invite Steveson! Steveson shrugs, hops the barriers and gets in the ring for his first WrestleMania moment ever! And all together, they toast! Only for Gable to SLAP the drink out of Steveson’s hand! Steveson is pissed!! Everyone else backs up but Chad Gable gets a mic.

Steveson snatches it from him! But then Gable snatches it back, and tells the “kid” he’s just starting here. Here’s a free lesson: when you’re in Chad’s presence, remember one thing. SHOOOOOOSH~! Steveson picks up Chad to OVERHEAD Belly2Belly him! Is that just a sample of what this Gable is going to bring to the ring?

 

Omos VS Bobby Lashley!

For 365 days, this 400 HUNDRED POUND walking mountain has dominated whoever is put in front of him, and is undefeated in singles action. But just as he felt there was on one left, the Rocky Mountain Machine made his return! Lashley was the first man in the WWE and perhaps anywhere to take Omos off his feet, but will he be the one to give Omos his first loss?

The bell rings and the two circle. Omos talks smack but Lashley kicks. Omos blocks then CLUBS Lashley down! Lashley gets up at ropes, Omos CLUBS Lashley back down! Lashley gets up again, ducks the roundhouse then kicks low! Lashley reels Omos in?! But Omos body shots and knees to then uppercut Lashley! Lashley staggers, Omos clamps on a hand onto Lashley’s head! Lashley powers out of the vice grip and Omos is surprised! But Omos knees low to stop that, and tries again. Omos CLOBBERS Lashley point blank! But Lashley gets back up? And he SLAPS Omos!? Omos BOOTS Lashley back down!

Omos is mad now and he puts Lashley in a corner for big elbows and point-blank clotheslines! Omos lets off as the ref counts to run in and elbow Lashley down! Omos then runs in again, but only gets buckles! Lashley still can’t get away from those big arms, but Omos runs again to miss again! Lashley goes after Omos with clotheslines to the back, then runs side to side, one more BIG clothesline! Fans fire up for Lashley and he wants the full nelson! Omos is too big, though! Omos stops the Hurt Lock from clamping on, then runs to LARIAT Lashley down! Omos looms over Lashley as he slowly gets up.

Omos clamps on both hands, and he shoves Lashley out of the ring! Lashley is down in a heap and the ring count climbs. Lashley manages to get up at 5 of 10, but Omos goes out after him. Lashley leaps onto the apron and then LARIATS Omos while he’s on the ropes! Lashley hurries in and up, to leap! But Omos catches Lashley! Omos fireman’s carries, for a COLOSSAL DROP!! Lashley crash lands on the mat, and Omos dares him to get up from that. Lashley does, Omos runs, but into a back elbow! Lashley runs, but into a BEARHUG! Omos squeezes tight but fans rally as Lashley endures!

Lashley digs forearms into Omos’ face, so Omos RAMS Lashley into a corner! Lashley flops to the mat, but Omos stands him up to throw elbows! Omos reels Lashley back into a BEARHUG! Lashley is somehow conscious and fans still rally. Omos goes for another corner, Lashley slips free! Omos hits only buckles, Lashley runs in to fire haymakers! Lashley keeps Omos staggered, then he sends him into more buckles! Lashley kicks low, reels Omos in, and fans fire up as Lashley calls for it! But Omos wrenches out and swings, only for Lashley to get around! Lashley kicks low and wants it again! MASSIVE SUPLEX!

Fans are thunderous with Lashley as he runs and runs and SPEARS Omos from behind! He takes Omos down!! Omos gets back up but Lashley SPEARS again!! Cover, Lashley wins!!

Winner: Bobby Lashley, by pinfall

That was the MIGHTIEST win for Lashley, and the first loss for Omos! Somehow the ring is still standing, too! Will Lashley use this colossal win to climb back up the mountain of WWE?

 

Anything Goes: Sami Zayn VS Johnny Knoxville!

This all started because the “Elder Statesman” of SmackDown insulted the Jackass leading man, and then things got #InZayn. Sami is definitely a jackass in his own right, but will he have the last laugh? Or will Knoxville pull off the most exciting stunt of his career and win at WrestleMania?

The bell rings and Sami runs to HELLUVA KICK Knoxville right away! Sami is smiling ear to ear then he stomps away on Knoxville. Knoxville falls out of the ring, Sami goes out after him and brings him up to taunt the rest of the Jackass cast. Sami TOSSES Knoxville into barriers but the fans boo. Sami pie faces one and the others start swinging! Sami dares Dark Shark to do something, but he turns around into a FIRE EXTINGUISHER BLAST! Knoxville just cooled Sami off, and then he brings out a trash can full of goodies! Knoxville puts those in the ring, then gets a stop sign! He puts that in but Sami kicks low!

Sami headlock punches Knoxville then puts him in the ring. Sami gets the trash can, dumps it out, and picks up the classic cookie sheet. Sami blows it off so it’s clean, to SMACK Knoxville on the back with it! The sheet is dented, so Sami puts that aside to get the crutch. Sami plays around with the crutch and SMACKS Knoxville on the back! Now the crutch is bent! Sami gets the trash can itself, and he runs corner to corner, to CHUCK it into Knoxville! Sami covers, TWO! Sami is annoyed but he goes back out to look under the ring. Sami finds a wash bin and a bowling ball bag? And then a TABLE!

Fans fire up for the table and Sami slides it into the ring. But then Sami gets snapped by something? He looks under the ring, and it’s a bunch of mouse traps! Sami brings out a table covered in mouse traps! This must be Knoxville’s contraption. Sami likes how crazy Knoxville is, and he gets that thing set up. Sami gets in, to get TRASH CAN LID CYMBALS! And again! And again! Knoxville tosses those to get the stop sign! SMACK to Sami’s back! Sami writhes, Knoxville sets up the normal table in a corner. Knoxville drags Sami up, reels him in, but Sami knees the suplex away! Sami gets around to EXPLODER Knoxville through the table!

Sami drags Knoxville from the wreckage and covers, TWO! Knoxville is still in this and Sami is further annoyed. Sami stalks Knoxville, and Knoxville has a bloody cut on his forehead. Sami says Knoxville is in Sami’s world now! Sami has Knoxville in the corner, runs corner to corner, into an AIRHORN BLAST! Sami staggers, but he comes back to kick Knoxville down! But wait, Party Boy Pontius is in the ring!? Time to party~! Pontius pushes Sami and dances around, then rips off the shirt, and the pants! Classic! Sami is more disturbed than hurt, and he CLOBBERS Pontius! Sami stomps away and fans boo him ruining the party!

Sami drags Pontius up to toss him out! But Knoxville rolls Sami up! TWO!! Sami DECKS Knoxville, glares at Pontius then goes out. Sami stomps “Naked Boy” under the ring! Sami then goes looking, but he gets BOPPED by WEEMAN! Weeman fires off furious fists on Sami! Sami hurries away but Weeman chases him into the ring! Then SHIN KICK! Sami hobbles, Weeman scoops him!? And SLAMS him!! Fans are all fired up as Knoxville reels Sami in, TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!?! Sami survives and no one can believe it! Weeman hurries to fetch another contraption from under the ring. It’s a ASS KICKING MACHINE!?

Knoxville drags Sami over, Sami fights back, but Weeman has the machine armed. Sami BOOTS Weeman down before he can fire! Fans boo, but Sami stomps away on Weeman! Weeman flops out of the ring, but Sami drags Knoxville around to rain down fists! Fans tell Sami what they think of him but Sami shrugs it off to go up top. Sami grins, but Knoxville has a remote? e sets off pyro and it spooks Sami! Sami drops, and Knoxville gets the BOWLING BALL! STRIKE to Sami’s boys! Then the Ass Kicking Machine is a GROIN KICKING MACHINE! Sami clutches whatever’s left down there, and Knoxville gets… a STUN GUN!

Knoxville tests them and they’re working! Sami freaks out and scrambles! Knoxville stalks Sami, but Sami turns around into GIANT HAND! Sami gets SMACKED off his feet, but he hurries into the ring! Knoxville hurries in but Sami stomps him down! “This is Awesome!” as Sami manages to snap suplex Knoxville! Sami snarls and goes to the apron. Sami is wary of the corner, but it seems safe now. Sami goes up top, but Knoxville TONGS THE GROIN! And then TOSSES Sami onto the mouse trap table!! Sami crashes down and fans lose their minds! Knoxville calls for help, so Dark Shark, Pontius and the whole crew get the WORLD’S LARGEST MOUSE TRAP out!

Weeman and Pontius puts Sami in the ring and Knoxville stalks behind him. Knoxville has the stun gun, and he ZAPS Sami! Sami is on the trap, Knoxville hurries to trigger it! Uh oh, technical malfunction. Knoxville unhooks the thing by hand, SNAP! Cover, the trap traps Sami, Knoxville wins!!

Winner: Johnny Knoxville, by pinfall

The Jackass cast celebrates with Knoxville! They may be the movie stars, but Sami is the one who is a jackass forever! How will Sami ever live this down?

 

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 Way: Carmella & Queen Zelina Vega VS Sasha Banks & Naomi VS Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley VS Shayna Baszler & Natalya!

The Most Beautiful Woman in All the WWE (according to herself) and the Queen of the Ring brought much of this upon themselves. They thought they were unstoppable, but then they got stopped by Team Bad, by #Liv4Brutality, and by the Spades & Harts. Now, with only two teams legal at any given time, will they even be active when they lose these belts? Or will they find a way to defy the 75% chance of failure on the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania ever?

The introductions are made for all four teams, the belts are raised, and we see who plays their hand right to take home the jackpot!

We start with Vega and Rhea but Mella gets her protective mask. Vega turns around to see who is there, and she tags right out! Rhea is fine with that, she and Mella circle. Then Mella tags out to Sasha! The champions are gambling letting other teams handle this. Sasha and Rhea get face to face, fans fire up, and Rhea calls for a test of strength. Sasha gives it with knuckle locks, they go shoulder to shoulder! Rhea pushes Sasha down to a cover, ONE! Rhea pushes the arm down, ONE as the other arm goes up! And ONE again as Sasha bridges! Rhea jumps up, Sasha monkey flips and slips around, but no Bank Statement!

Rhea pump handles, Sasha slips out, but Rhea shrugs the backstabber! Fans rally, Rhea and Sasha stare down, but Liv wants in. Rhea tags to Liv, but then Rhea and Naomi get mugged by the champs and the Queens! Liv and Sasha DIVE to take them all out! Liv and Sasha meet again and they circle. Liv goes Matrix, rolls Sasha, TWO! Sasha drop toeholds, scuffs Liv, swaggers to a Oklahoma Roll! TWO, Liv kicks but Sasha blocks to kick, only for Liv to block! CODE BREAKER! Sasha ends up by ropes, Liv runs in, springboard CODE BREAKER! But Natty tags in off The Boss! Liv hits OBLIVION on Liv, but Natty tags Shayna and BOOTS Liv down!

Natty runs and dropkicks Liv, then BOOTS Liv again! Shayna KNEES Liv for good measure, but she sees Rhea and the champions all get in. Everyone stands down, but it was that close. Shayna gets Liv’s leg isolated, and she STOMPS the foot! Liv writhes, Shayna keeps her from Rhea, and Shayna gets the leg for a HEEL HOOK! Liv endures, Shayna shifts to a toehold! Shayna twists and bends the foot and knee in all directions! Liv kicks with the good leg but Shayna flips her over. Shayna keeps Liv from Rhea but Liv ENZIGURIS! Mella tags in off Shayna, Shayna LARIATS Mella but has to leave!

Mella tells Shayna to go to her corner, but Liv is crawling to her corner! Vega tells Mella, so Mella DECKS Rhea! Rhea wants after her but the ref keeps her back, Mella bumps Liv off her boot, tag to Vega and the champions mug Liv. Vega takes a bow and soaks up the heat. Vega then hops on, CODE RED! Cove, Rhea drags Vega right off and up! Rhea puts Vega on top of the other corner but Mella CLUBS Rhea down! Natty CLOBBERS Mella, but Naomi hits a REAR VIEW! Shayna ROUNDHOUSES Naomi, Sasha BACKSTABBERS Shayna! Mella CLOBBERS Sasha but Rhea is up top! Mella gets her but the steiner is blocked!

Rhea brings Mella up, but Mella finishes the SUPER STEINER! Naomi tags in off Vega and then Vega LEAPS onto Rhea! Naomi tags Sasha, they get Liv up to double wrench, EAT TWO FEET! Tag back to Naomi, Team Bad take opposite corners! Shayna and Vega intercept Naomi and Mella is after Sasha! Natty helps Mella, but then Rhea and Liv each go after them! DOUBLE TOWERS OF DOOM!!! Fans are loving this as all eight women are down! Naomi and Liv are left as the legal two, and Naomi cradles Liv! TWO! Liv gets up, Rhea tags in, Liv hits WING SNAPPER to Rhea’s HEADBUTT!

Rhea then pump handles, Liv adds on, RIPTIDE BACKBRAEKER!! Cover, Sasha breaks it! Shayna gets in to throw Sasha out! Natty gets in to DECK Liv! The Queens POST Rhea, Shayna tags in. Natty GUT BUSTERS Naomi and Shayna KNEES her down! Cover, Liv breaks it! Liv and Shayna fire off, Shayna KICKS a leg to gut wrench SLAM Liv! Shayna tags Natty and they get Naomi back up. Natty runs, Mella tags in! Vega trips Natty, Mella FABULOUS KICKS Shayna! Mella bumps Sasha off the apron, then gets Naomi up. Naomi switches, O’Conner Roll, TWO! Vega KNEES Naomi, Mella rolls and FABULOUS KICKS! Cover, TWO!!

Naomi survives and Mella is furious! She covers again, TWO! Mella throws down fists and loses her cool! Mella goes in, Naomi BOOTS Mella down! Tag to Sasha and Sasha goes up, FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!?!? Mella survives, but BANK STATEMENT! Vega drags Mella back, BOOTS Naomi away, and the champions are safe on the outside. But Sasha goes to the apron to METEORA Vega! But Mella puts Sasha in! Mella runs in but Sasha powers her back! Tag to Naomi, ROUNDHOUSE! Tag back to Sasha, they work together, ASSISTED WHEELBARROW FACEBUSTER!! Cover, Team Bad wins!!

Winners: Sasha Banks & Naomi, by pinfall (NEW WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions)

The challengers that got the ball rolling finally get the gold! Will all of the WWE feel the #BossGlow?

 

Edge VS AJ Styles!

The Rated R Superstar wanted a WrestleMania opponent because as much as he needs this, he feels this event needs him. The Phenomenal One stepped up, but then something changed in Edge. In trying to bring out the vicious side in Styles, Edge almost sidelined Styles for good. But Styles is back, and he already knows he’s going to do something awful back to “The Iconoclast.” Will this dream match turn into a nightmare for Styles? Or will this new Edge be less than phenomenal?

Styles already has a bloody scratch on his cheek, who knows how he got that. Meanwhile, Edge rises in a throne from under the stage with fire all around! The bell rings and fans are fired up already as these two stare down. Styles then rushes in, but Edge uses ropes as a defense. The ref has Styles back off, and Edge grins as he steps away from the ropes. They circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Styles manages to push Edge back but the ref counts. Edge avoids the big haymaker and then he trots to the opposite end. Edge smirks as he circles with Styles, but Styles KICKS the leg! Edge is annoyed but he and Styles circle more.

They tie up again, Edge gets the headlock, but Styles fights up to power out. They ram shoulders, Edge runs again but Styles hurdles and dropkicks back! Then Styles arm-drags Edge around, but Edge fakes out the third. Edge drops an elbow but misses and Styles KICKS the leg again! Styles wants the leg but Edge gets to ropes again. Fans rally and duel as Edge and Styles circle again. Styles and Edge tie up, Styles headlocks, but Edge pulls hair. Edge powers out, Styles rolls under to come back and headlock. Edge throws Styles off, but Styles avoids the boot to backslide! Edge rolls through but he wrenches out of the Clash!

Edge ROCKS Styles, but Styles avoids the Spear! Fans fire up as the two stare down. They reset, circling again, and Edge kicks low. Edge throws a forearm, whips Styles to ropes, but Styles slips out. Edge slides out but Styles slips in to ROCK him with a forearm! Slingshot FLYING- NO, Edge moves so Styles lands on the apron. SLIDING KNEE! Edge is sent into steel steps, too! Styles hops down, and dribbles Edge’s head off the side of steel steps! The ring count climbs, Styles drags Edge up and puts him in the ring. Styles then aims, springboards, 450 SPLASH onto knees! Edge saves himself, but he still clutches the knee after that impact.

Fans rally up while both men are down. Edge drags himself up the ropes, and he BOOTS Styles into the corner! Edge digs his knee into Styles’ ribs, then lets off to whip Styles to ropes. Edge KNEES Styles low, then whips him the other way to KNEE the ribs again! Styles falls over and Edge soaks up all the cheers and jeers from the fans. Edge stomps Styles down, then drags him back up to whip hard into a corner! Styles falls back, Edge covers, ROPEBREAK! Edge grabs that arm to add to the cover, ONE! Styles is still in this but Edge drags him back up. Styles ROCKS and CHOPS and ROCKS Edge again!

Styles whips, Edge blocks the hip toss to a cobra twist! Styles endures the stretch but Edge digs knuckles then an elbow into those bad ribs! Fans rally as Styles continues to endure. Styles elbows Edge’s leg, then hip tosses free! Edge gets up, but Styles blocks his kick! DRAGON SCREW! Edge is down and clutching his leg, Styles gets to ropes. Styles rushes back in, but into a scoop and SHOULDER BREAKER! But it was double-edged for Edge with the bad knee. Styles clutches the shoulder, that was the shoulder that got hurt by Edge during the Royal Rumble match. Styles gets to a corner but Edge storms over.

Edge stomps away on Styles but the ref counts. Edge lets off at 4, then KICKS Styles in the side! Edge drops knee after knee on Styles at the ropes but the ref has him stop at 4. Edge comes back, but Styles DECKS him with a haymaker! Both men are down again and fans rally back up! Styles works on his shoulder, and might have just popped it back into place! Styles gets up, Edge also rises, and Styles runs in, but is sent crashing into buckles! Both men are down again as Edge catches his breath. Fans rally, Edge slowly gets up and scowls at Styles. Edge goes to Styles in the corner, brings him up, but Styles snap suplexes Edge into buckles!

Both men are down again after that crash. Styles drags himself up, his left arm rather limp by his side. Styles drags Edge up with his good arm, rains down fists, then hits a new gear as he even manages to hit with his left! That still hurts Styles in return, and Styles stops his flurry. Fans rally and duel as Styles slowly stands back up. Styles drags Edge up, but Edge wrenches and hits an ARM BREAKER! Styles’ bad arm is a target for Edge and he just hit the mark! Edge then gets Styles’ arms for a motorcycle stretch. Styles endures, fights up to his feet, and kicks free to throw an elbow. But Edge avoids the Pele!

Edge drops down, Styles scrambles to avoid the crossface! Styles reels Edge in but Edge fights out of the Clash! Edge has the leg, STF!! Styles endures, reaches out, Edge grabs that arm to shift to full CROSSFACE! Styles uses his leg to get the ROPEBREAK! Edge lets go in frustration and both men are down again. Edge throws hands on Styles, then runs, but Styles avoids the shoulder to KICK Edge back! Edge staggers, Styles SLINGSHOT DDTS! But he can’t make the cover! Fans rally up as Styles goes to the corner and starts to climb. He drags himself up with one good arm, but Edge ROCKS him first!

Edge has Styles stuck in the ropes as he climbs up now, and Edge brings Styles up. Styles throws body shots, then sunset flips, but Edge holds on! Styles KICKS Edge’s leg, and gets him for a torture rack! TOWER HACKER BOMB! Cover, TWO! Both men are down again but fans rally up. Styles stands first, he fireman’s carries, but Edge elbows free! Edge reels Styles in, IMPALER! Cover, TWO!! Styles survives one of Edge’s best, but Edge is too tired to be frustrated. Edge gets up and he throws a forearm on Styles, then another. Styles dodges the next, to SNAP GERMAN Edge away! Both men are down again as the tanks are running on fumes!

Edge pushes himself up, as does Styles, and the fans are fired up again. The haymakers fly as both men are on their knees! Edge hits, Styles hits back, then they stand as they keep going. Styles HEADBUTTS again and again and again! Then fires off a haymaker! Styles blocks, fires off the Phenomenal Blitz, but Edge BOOTS! Styles PELES and Edge is wobbling! Styles rolls Edge, CALF CRUSHER!! Edge turns it over, has the arm, but Styles clasps hands! Styles moves, but Edge gets a LEBELLE LOCK!! Styles endures as Edge pulls him way back! Styles pries at the fingers, he gets free! But Edge ducks the buzzsaw, EDGE-O-MATIC! Cover, TWO!

Fans are rallying up again as both men slowly get back up. Styles is in the corner, Edge runs in but into a BOOT! Styles goes up, but Edge catches him for a SLINGSHOT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Styles rolls out to the apron, Edge goes out after him, and Edge CLUBS Styles on the neck. Edge stands Styles up, puts Styles up top, and he looks to the floor! Edge climbs up, but Styles slips out and CLUBS Edge down! They’re on opposite sides of the corner now, and Styles stands Edge up. Styles drags Edge to the top and goes up to join him. Is Styles going for what Edge wanted?! SUPERPLEX to the apron!!

Fans lose their minds as both men flop to the floor! The ring count starts and both men are still down at 5 of 10. Styles stands up at 9, he and Edge get in at 9.5! Styles drags himself up, takes aim and springboards again, 450 SPLASH to Edge’s back! Cover, TWO!! Edge survives again! Fans rally back up, Styles gets to his feet and he goes back to the apron. Styles prepares the arm, and he springboards, but Edge gets under! Styles rolls through, and hurdles the Spear! Edge hits ropes, Styles reels him in, STYLES CLASH!! Cover, TWO!?!?! How did Edge survive that?!! “This is Awesome!” as Styles gets to a corner.

Styles goes to the apron, and he aims again. Fans fire up, but Damian Priest appears?! Styles ignores him, springboards, into a SPEAR!! Cover, Edge wins!

Winner: Edge, by pinfall

Priest distracted just enough for Edge to get this! The Archer of Infamy gets in the ring with Edge, and kneels with him! These two are of like minds, will they both #LiveForever?

 

Tonight’s AT&T Stadium attendance: 78,453!

That’s even more than last night! What a STUPENDOUS turnout for WrestleMania 38 Sunday!

 

The New Day VS Sheamus & Ridge Holland w/ “Butch” Pete Dunne!

Originally meant for last night, Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods finally get to take on the Celtic Warrior and Northern Grit! Will Big E and his ATV be avenged? Or will the Fella and his Fight Night Fight Club have their most STUPENDOUS victory ever?

But before teams sort out, Sheamus & Ridge attack! They beat down Kofi & Woods, stomp them, then take away the Big E tribute jackets! Dunne snatches those to throw them away! But the New Day fight back with big haymakers! Woods dumps Sheamus out, Ridge DECKS Kofi then tosses Woods! The ref has Ridge stay back for Kofi to get up, and the bell rings! Kofi spins Ridge for TROUBLE IN PARADISE!! Cover, Sheamus drags Kofi out of the ring! Sheamus drags Kofi up, Dunne wants after him but Sheamus tells “Butch” to stay back. Woods WRECKS Sheamus with a dropkick!

Woods dodges Dunne, Kofi gets up the corner and LEAPS in to CLOBBER Ridge! Sheamus has to keep Dunne away, Woods tags in! ROLLING ELBOW, HAYMAKER, and the straps come down! Woods runs, to SLIDING COMPLETE SHOT! Then Woods DECKS Sheamus, and Kofi LEAPS, into a BROGUE! Woods is furious but Ridge grabs him by his hair! Ridge reels Woods in, but Woods slips off the back suplex to SUPERKICK! Dunne gets on the apron, the ref is busy with him, Sheamus BROGUES Woods down! Ridge gets back up, he drags Woods up, NORTHERN GRIT! Cover, the fight club wins!

Winners: Sheamus & Ridge Holland, by pinfall

And Dunne goes after Woods! Sheamus & Ridge both have to drag Dunne away but Dunne wants to rip Woods’ ears off! With Dunne as a wild animal at ringside, will anything stop him, Sheamus & Ridge from doing whatever they want on SmackDown?

 

The Undertaker is here again!

The Deadman, the Phenom, and the headliner of the 2022 WWE Hall of Fame class is back once more for the fans. They chant #ThankYouTaker and he takes one more bow. And of course, he gives one last glance back before one last raise of the fist. Is this the last time we will see Taker on a WWE stage?

 

Austin Theory VS Pat McAfee!

For weeks on end, Vince McMahon’s newest golden boy has used the Chairman’s lessons and personal backing to do whatever he wants to whoever he wants. But then Vince went onto Pat McAfee’s talk show to give him the great honor of being on the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania ever… against the golden boy. Theory turned all his obnoxious energy towards McAfee and has really gotten under his skin. Will McAfee use that NFL Pro Bowl level leg to punt Theory’s punk ass all the way back to Atlanta? Or will it be A-Town Down in Dallas?

Before Theory enters, VINCE MCMAHON is here in person! He struts to the ring, gets himself a mic, and says, “Allow me to introduce you to a future WWE Universal Champion, Austin Theory!” Theory now makes his entrance, taking selfies the whole way down the ramp. Vince applauds but it doesn’t sound like many fans are in agreement. Fans chant, “You Suck!” but Vince wants them to quiet down for his selfie with Theory! Now McAfee makes his entrance to Seven Nation Army, with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders! Fans sing along as McAfee goes down the ramp. McAfee even punts a football to the fans! Free souvenir!

The bell rings and Theory rushes in! McAfee dodges to fire off hands! Theory staggers about, body blow! McAfee then DECKS Theory! Vince is already upset but McAfee storms up and Theory goes to ropes for defense. The ref backs McAfee off, Theory throat chop shim! Theory stomps away, fans boo but Theory tells them he’s the guy! Theory drags McAfee up, ROCKS him with a right, and has him in a corner. Theory whips corner to corner, McAfee goes up and over, then FLYING ELBOWS Theory down! Fans fire up for McAfee, and he runs in to RANA Theory! Cover, TWO! Vince is relieved but still upset with Theory.

McAfee has the fans all behind him and he gets Theory up, only for Theory to scoop and BACKBREAKER! Theory rains down rights and roars in anger, and Vince nods his approval. Fans boo, Theory looms over McAfee and drags him up. Theory DECKS McAfee but fans sing Seven Nation Army for McAfee! Theory just gets upset as he drags McAfee up, and snap suplexes! Theory looks to Vince and gets more approval, but then fans boo and Theory tells them to shut up. Theory drags McAfee back up, reels him in, and fans chant, “You Suck!” Theory says he does not, then he suplexes McAfee again.

Theory does victory laps around McAfee, and he mocks the fans cheering McAfee on. Theory looms over McAfee, fans chant “You Suck!” harder than before! Theory drags McAfee up, reels him in again, but McAfee fights the suplex to hit a suplex! Fans fire up, Byron keeps Michael Cole calm on commentary. Theory gets to the apron, McAfee gets up and checks his back. McAfee runs at Theory to BLAST him off the apron! Theory hits announce desk! McAfee fires up, Vince frowns, and McAfee gets the headset so he can say, “Pat McAfee’s beatin’ the hell outta Austin Theory! Kevin and Sally McAfee are watching their kid beat the hell out of a douchebag!”

McAfee then asks if Theory remembers this! ICE WATER TO THE FACE! Theory flails, McAfee SMACKS him off the desk! And again! And again! He’s even calling his shots! McAfee pushes Theory back into the ring, puts the headset back on the desk, and fans fire up as McAfee gets back in the ring. Vince is upset again, because McAfee has an idea. McAfee goes up the corner! Fans fire up as McAfee is up top, Seven Nation Army is echoing throughout the AT&T Stadium, and McAfee SWANTON BOMB FLOPS!! Austin Theory avoids disaster and Vince is finally happy again. Theory drags McAfee up, reels him in, BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO!!

Now Vince is upset again as McAfee survives. Theory smirks but is also annoyed with McAfee. Theory drags McAfee around to stomp him down, and Vince likes that. Theory says he’ll go up top now! Vince smiles, Theory climbs but fans boo harder. Theory says for them to shut up, but McAfee ROCKS Theory first! McAfee gets up top to join Theory, they fight up there, and McAfee gets Theory for- NO! Theory is fighting it off! Theory pushes McAfee, but McAfee flips to land on his feet?!? No one can believe it but we just saw it! And McAfee box jumps to get Theory, for the SUPERPLEX! Theory writhes, McAfee crawls to the cover, TWO!!

Fans are thunderous as these two are both down. Fans chant “Fight Forever!” but this has to end somehow! McAfee feeds off the energy from Seven Nation Army and the WWE Universe. McAfee lines up the shot, roars, and gets that Pro Bowl Leg started up! But Theory dodges the punt to dropkick the legs out! Theory DECKS McAfee with a forearm! Vince is smiling again as Theory drags McAfee up. Theory says McAfee is dead, but McAfee pie faces him! Theory rains down fists! Fans boo but Theory says McAfee is going down! Fireman’s carry, but McAfee slips out to roll Theory up, AND WINS!!!

Winner: Pat McAfee, by pinfall

HE DID IT! The boyhood dream comes true! McAfee is a WrestleMania winner!! Whether or not Vince likes it, this might be the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania moment ever! What will Theory have to do to redeem himself in Vince’s eyes? But then McAfee calls out Vince!? Vince starts to take the suit jacket off, but then thinks better of it. But then he takes it all the way off! And then he starts undoing the tie! McAfee dares Vince to get in, but Vince unbuttons the sleeves first. Vince untucks the shirt, takes it off, and he has the fight tank top on! Vince gets in the ring and McAfee himself is stunned speechless!

Wait the ref is back? IS this happening? Is this a thing that is happening?! But then Theory CLOBBERS McAfee! Of course Vince was just setting up someone who pissed him off! Vince still wants this to happen!?

Pat McAfee VS Vince McMahon w/ Austin Theory!

The bell rings and Vince LARIATS McAfee down! McAfee gets up again, but Vince bumps him off buckles! Theory applauds because duh, he hit McAfee dizzy before this match! McAfee gets up, he’s mad now, but Vince LARIATS him again! Vince taunts McAfee, then he taunts the fans. Fans admit, “You Still Got It!” Vince waits on McAfee to get up, and McAfee does, but Vince grabs him by his head! Vince tells McAfee this is what he gets, and he bumps McAfee off the buckles! Vince dusts off his hands, thinking he’s got this in the bag. Vince then waits as McAfee gets up again. McAfee snarls as Seven Nation Army starts up again.

McAfee tells Vince, this time it’s serious! He’s gonna punt his old ass right back to the office! But then Theory trips McAfee! And POSTS McAfee up the middle! The ref hesitates to disqualify this because the boss is right here! Vince smirks and the ref reprimands Theory, but that’s it. Vince toys with McAfee now, and then Theory says they should use the football! Theory hands it off to Vince, and Vince lines it up, to then fake the punt and strut around. McAfee manages to sit up, so Vince PUNTS the ball into McAfee! Cover, Vince wins!

Winner: Vince McMahon, by pinfall

But of course the whole thing was rigged from the start! Vince lets Theory celebrate, since Theory did do most of the damage. Theory even offers a hug? Vince decides to accept it! Since when has Vince hugged someone? BUT HERE COMES STONE COLD!! The better Austin is here and fans are loving it! Stone Cold gets right in the ring, tells Vince this is a bunch of BS, but Vince tries to defend what’s gong on. Theory goes after Stone Cold but gets smacked all around! STUNNER!! Theory goes flying outta the ring!! And Vince realizes he just stepped in it. Fans are electric as Stone Cold stares Vince down.

Vince tries to talk his way out of this, and Austin offers some Steveweisers. Vince is up for that, and they crack those open. Vince sips, and approves. The Broken Skull Stout is good stuff! Austin and Vince cheer, chug it down, and then STUNNER! Just like old times! Austin gets more Steveweisers, then he stomps Vince out of the ring! And Austin even invites McAfee into the ring! They do a double toast as Seven Nation Army echoes through the crowd! And then Austin just gets more beer! And then STUNNER for McAfee! #DTA: Don’t Trust Anybody! But at the same time, maybe a dream come true for McAfee! OH HELL… YEAH!!

 

WWE World & Universal Championships, Winner Takes All Title Unification: Brock Lesnar VS Roman Reigns w/ The Bloodline!

There is so much history here between these two Paul Heyman Guys. The Next Big Thing became The Beast, and the Big Dog became the Tribal Chief. They have fought back and forth many times, and it frustrates the Head of the Table to no end that he has yet to demolish Suplex City. But now, in the BIGGEST main event in WrestleMania history, to close out the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania Weekend ever, there can only be one alpha male of our species! Who will be our reigning, defending, and truly UNDISPUTED WWE Champion?

Roman is of course accompanied by The Usos as well as Paul Heyman. The Bloodline raises their titles to the sky and the pyro goes off. Then they go to the ring, raise the belts up again, and set off more pyro while CG Roman roars. Heyman then hands real Roman a mic, so that he can say, “WrestleManiaaaa…! ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” Fans are torn rather evenly, but then here comes Brock! Lesnar circles the ring, gets in and stares Roman right down. The introductions are made, with Heyman of course snatching the mic to introduce himself.

“Introducing first, the GOAT that slays a Beast, the reigning! Defending! Undisputed! WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion! RRRROMAN! RRREIGNS!” Then Heyman gives the mic back so Mike Rome can introduce the opponent, only for Lesnar to snatch the mic! “Ladies and gentlemen! The Cowboy Country Ass-kicker that’s gonna kick your ass tonight! The reigning! Defending! WWE Heavyweight Champion of the Wooorld~! BROCK! LESNAR!” With all that out of the way, the top titles are raised, and tonight, we ACKNOWLEDGE… history!

Fans are already thunderous as these two stare down at the bell. Lesnar literally takes off the gloves! Roman looks mildly concerned, and they tie up. Lesnar fires off shots, knees, then has Roman in a corner for shoulders! Roman hits back with haymakers! But Lesnar RAMS Roman back into the corner! And rams him in again! And again! And then again, before carrying Roman corner to corner! Lesnar RAMS Roman into that corner, then shoves Roman down! Lesnar waistlocks but Roman throws elbows. Lesnar lets Roman slip around, to OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Then another OVERHEAD Belly2Belly!

Suplex City gets going with a THIRD OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Lesnar roars and scares Heyman, then Lesnar clotheslines Roman out of the ring! Lesnar goes out and he scares Heyman again. Heyman says all this was Roman’s idea! Heyman loves Lesnar, he can take Heyman back! But then Roman SPEARS Lesnar through barriers! They crash into the timekeeper’s area and Heyman’s cowardice was the perfect bait! Roman drags himself out of the wreckage, he gets back into the ring, and Heyman holds tight to the Universal title. The ring count climbs, Lesnar gets up at 5 but he’s far away from the ring!

Lesnar gets up at 8, hobbles at 9, and is in at 9.99!! Roman is upset and a bit shocked at this. Lesnar stands up, Roman SPEARS him down! Cover, TWO!! Lesnar survives and shocks Roman all over again! Roman goes back to a corner, locks ‘n’ loads, and waits as Lesnar rises. SUPERMAN PUNCH! Roman talks smack then reloads, SUPERMAN PUNCH! Roman says look at him! Lesnar is getting whooped! Fans are torn down the middle as Roman gloats. Heyman tells Roman to focus, and Lesnar is laughing as he gets up!? Roman runs in, Lesnar gets around, GERMAN SUPLEX! And then another GERMAN SUPLEX!

Suplex City is rolling now with five total! Lesnar gets a third GERMAN SUPLEX, that’s half a dozen suplexes in all! Roman staggers, Lesnar says here we go, another GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans fire up as Lesnar smiles. Roman flounders to a corner, Lesnar calls for another one! GERMAN SUPLEX! Five of those, eight total! Lesnar drags Roman back up again, fireman’s carries, but Roman fights free and shoves Lesnar into buckles! SUPERMAN PUNCH! Three superman punches but Lesnar is still getting up. Roman soaks up all the cheers and jeers, and Heyman points out Lesnar isn’t done yet!

Roman aims, “OOAH!” But Lesnar fireman’s carries out of the Spear, to F5!! Cover, TWO!! Roman survives, but Lesnar still looks amused! Fans rally and duel, Lesnar looms over Roman, and Lesnar drags Roman up. Another fireman’s carry, but Roman rakes eyes! Roman shoves Lesnar at the ref! Then SPEARS him into the ref! The ref is down, Roman LOW BLOWS Lesnar!! The Tribal Chief doesn’t care how he wins, he wants to win! Heyman hands Roman the Universal title belt, he aims and runs in, BELT SHOT!! Roman shouts to the ref to count this cover, TWO!?! Lesnar survives and Roman is confused!

Roman tries to put the math together on how Lesnar survives a low blow and belt shot. Fans rally and duel and Roman says this is his time! He has told us that no one will ever be able to follow him! Roman is the best! Roman is the number one superstar! But somehow Lesnar is sitting back up! Roman tells Lesnar to stay down, but Lesnar doesn’t listen. So Roman runs and runs and SPEARES Lesnar! Cover, ROPEBREAK! Roman is frustrated again but he just builds speed, SPEAR into a Kimura?!? Lesnar catches the tackle and the arm!! Roman is enduring as Lesnar twists the arm way back!!

Roman reaches out, Heyman tries to push the rope closer but it’s not working! Lesnar has the body scissors, even! Roman drags himself with one good arm, ROPEBREAK!! Lesnar holds until the ref counts 4, doing as much damage as he can! Heyman coaches Roman up but Roman says his shoulder is dislocated! But this is for the Bloodline! “Rise up, this is your moment!” Lesnar drags Roman up, he fireman’s carries, but Roman slips out and shoves, to SPEAR!! Cover, Roman wins!!

Winner: Roman Reigns, by pinfall (UNDISPUTED WWE Universal Champion)

And with that, Roman is truly on top of the WWE hierarchy! He manages to lift both titles, despite the left arm’s damaged state. Lesnar gets up with a scowl, has the Beast finally been slain? Is there no one that can stop Roman now that he is THE champion in the WWE?


My Thoughts:

Again, not sure if this was the “most stupendous” WrestleMania ever, but there was some great stuff. And also some not great stuff, but WWE can’t get everything right (anymore). Whatever reason that delayed New Day VS Sheamus & Ridge to tonight apparently didn’t change anything. That should’ve been a kickoff show, because Vince did New Day dirty. Why can’t New Day win one for Big E? Why does Vince constantly take PB&J and make salads out of them? Yep, I’m reusing my food metaphor from yesterday with Stand & Deliver because this is that booty.

The Raw Tag Triple Threat was a great opener, though. All the teams got to shine, I love that they went with a true Triple Threat where all teams have an active man, and it was awesome for RKBRO to retain. I’m a little surprised Profits stayed Face here but it did work for the moment with Gable Steveson. Steveson got to throw Chad Gable around, that’ll help him hit the ground running now that he’ll be on Raw with all these guys. Omos VS Lashley was a pretty good big man match, but as I was saying on the way to this, it was all a wash. Omos losing is big for Lashley but Lashley was already pretty built up without this. Maybe Omos wants a rematch at WM Backlash?

Sami VS Knoxville, Anything Goes was such a great match. They brought out all sorts of wild stuff, and I love that the Jackass cast got involved. Weeman had an awesome part, and the giant mouse trap finish was genius. Sami will surely complain about this but of course people will point out this was Anything Goes, and Sami will fight whoever it is because of that. The WWE Women’s Tag Fatal 4 was also great stuff, and while it went “two teams legal at a time,” I actually like that for this situation. There were many good uses of the opportunistic tags, and in the end, they made the right move. The champions lost and a SmackDown team wins. Sasha & Naomi will be big hits with these belts on both Raw and SmackDown so that both USA and Fox will be happy.

Edge VS Styles was also great, especially Edge’s King of Brood entrance. And speaking of which, it’s rather ironic Damian Priest is the one joining Edge. The whole time in NXT, it felt like Priest was bordering on being a vampire, and now he’s joining one of the original Brood members. This new Brood, whatever it’ll be called, will be great, and I can’t wait to see where it goes. Then there was everything with McAfee, Theory, Vince and Stone Cold, THAT was the most STUPENDOUS stuff of this whole weekend. Everyone in AT&T Stadium was loving McAfee, he had an amazing performance, got some Jeff Hardy level air in that Swanton, and rightfully won against Theory.

McAfee taking on Vince was wild, but of course Theory gets his Heel heat back helping Vince. And of course everyone got a stunner. McAfee’s living the dream, including taking a stunner. I’m sure McAfee will be fine going back to commentary, but now everyone knows he can easily come back off the desk to throw down with whoever. And then we got a pretty great match out of Lesnar VS Roman, with a lot of good references back to their previous showdowns.

However, there is a lot that feels off with that finish. Roman was talking about the bad shoulder, so was that shoot? Things ended suddenly after that, that is not good story writing if it was a work. Roman should’ve struggled for another two minutes to then get that last Spear and the win. But Vince doesn’t care about pacing or details, only results. At least now he’s finally gotten to make Roman THE guy in WWE history, so good for Vince. But where’s this going to go? Roman VS The Rock? But that’s no less than a SummerSlam match, more fitting of next year’s WrestleMania Hollywood. Again, Vince doesn’t care about pacing with this stuff, just results.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s NJPW WTL X Super Jr. Tag Results & Report! (12/5/22)

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NJPW WTL X Super Jr.

The Mighty Don’t Kneel, but do they squat?

Toru Yano & Hiroshi Tanahashi are the bad boys of NJPW, but are they mightier than The Mighty? We find out as World Tag League rolls on!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Bad Luck Fale VS Oskar Leube; Fale wins.
  • Tetsuya Naito & SANADA VS Ryohei Oiwa & Tomoaki Honma; Naito & Sanada win.
  • Six Man Tag: Ryusuke Taguchi, Master Wato & Kosei Fujita VS Suzuki-Gun; Suzuki-Gun wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Bullet Club; LIJ wins.
  • World Tag League 2022: Alex Coughlin & Gabriel Kidd VS EVIL & Yujiro Takahashi; Coughlin & Kidd win.
  • World Tag League 2022: Great-O-Khan & Aaron Henare VS Aussie Open; Aussie Open wins.
  • World Tag League 2022: Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI VS Minoru Suzuki & Lance Archer; Goto & Hashi win.
  • World Tag League 2022: Toru Yano & Hiroshi Tanahashi VS Shane Haste & Mikey Nicholls; win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current World Tag League standings!

Aussie Open: 6-1, 12 points
The Mighty: 5-1, 10 points
Naito & Sanada: 5-2, 10 points
Goto & Hashi: 4-2, 8 points
Khan & Henare: 4-3, 8 points
Suzuki & Archer: 3-3, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
Yano & Tanahashi: 3-3, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
Evil & Yujiro: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
Coughlin & Kidd: 0-6, 0 points [ELIMINATED]

Chase & Fale: [FORFEIT]

 

World Tag League 2022: Alex Coughlin & Gabriel Kidd VS EVIL & Yujiro Takahashi!

The Mechanical Bulls have yet to get on the board, and there’s not much time left! Can they bulldoze the House of Torture and finally score? Or will the King of Darkness & Tokyo Pimp have more tricks up their sleeves for this one?

Dick Togo comes out with the House of Torture, so Sho must be lurking somewhere else right now. The teams sort out, but Kidd tells Dick to leave. Dick does leave and fans applaud. Kidd and Yujiro start and fans rally up with the bell. Kidd and Yujiro circle, tie up, and Yujiro headlocks. Kidd powers up to pry at the hold, and he spins it around onto Yujiro. Fans applaud but Yujiro powers out of the headlock. Kidd runs Yujiro over! Evil runs in but Coughlin intercepts him with a kick! Coughlin ROCKS Evil with a forearm, knees him in a corner, and Kidd has Yujiro in the other. They double whip Evil and Yujiro at each other, then they both scoop and SLAM!

Fans fire up as the Mechanical Bulls roar and flex! Coughlin & Kidd double whip Yujiro, kick and knee lift and run him over with a shoulder! Kidd SENTONS, then covers, TWO! Fans rally while Kidd drags Yujiro up and tags in Coughlin. Kidd holds Yujiro for Coughlin’s CHOP! Fans fire up as Coughlin deadlifts Yujiro into a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Coughlin looms over Yujiro. Coughlin stands Yujiro up but Yujiro kicks low. Yujiro CHOPS, whips, but Coughlin reverses. Yujiro holds ropes, Coughlin runs in but into a FLAPJACK HOTSHOT! Evil runs in to BLAST Kidd off the apron, then he goes out after him!

Kidd kicks Evil but Evil claws the eyes! Evil brings Kidd around and takes aim at the timekeeper, but the ref reprimands! Evil lets off, and he CLUBS Kidd down. Abe-san is spared for now, and Yujiro stands Coughlin up in a corner. Yujiro throws elbows, but lets off as the ref counts. Yujiro brings Coughlin over and tags in Evil. Evil CLUBS Coughlin, then fakes the eye rake to CHOP! Coughlin eggs Evil on, so Evil CHOPS again! Coughlin eggs Evil on more and fans fire up. Evil CHOPS again and Coughlin feels that one! Coughlin CHOPS back and Evil feels that! Evil trips Coughlin for a toehold! But Coughlin reaches out, ROPEBREAK!

Evil lets off, drags Coughlin over and he tags in Yujiro. The ref counts, Evil exits and Yujiro stomps Coughlin down. Yujiro drags Coughlin up to knee low, knee low again, then snapmare. Yujiro runs to basement BOOT! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up while Evil protests the count. Yujiro brings Coughlin up and ROCKS him with a forearm. And then ROCKS him in the corner! Yujiro stomps Coughlin, tags Evil, and Evil scoop SLAMS! Cover, TWO! Evil covers again, TWO! And again, TWO!! Evil is furious with the ref but the fans fire up again. Evil drags Coughlin up but Coughlin knees low! And UPPERCUTS! And CHOPS!

Evil kicks low, runs, but into a SCRAPBUSTER! Fans fire up while both men are down! Coughlin crawls over, hot tag to Kidd! Kidd rallies on Evil with shoulders and CHOPS! Kidd whips, Evil reverses but Kidd ducks ‘n’ dodges to DROPKICK! Fans fire up with Kidd but Yujiro runs in. Kidd kicks him, fires off forearms, then has him in a corner. Kidd clotheslines Yujiro, then runs corner to corner and clotheslines Evil! Yujiro runs in but Kidd sends him into Evil! Then Kidd uses Tenzan Power Mongolian Chop! Down goes Yujiro! Kidd blocks Evil’s kick to Tenzan Power Mongolian Chop! And then EXPLODER! Cover, TWO!

Fans fire up with Kidd as he drags Evil back up. Kidd calls his shot, suplexes, but Evil fights free and wrenches. Kidd CHOPS Evil first! Fans fire up again as Kidd runs in but Evil dodges the clothesline! Evil corner clotheslines then FISHERMAN BUSTERS! Cover, TWO! Kidd is still in this, Evil tags Yujiro. Yujiro stomps Kidd, drags him up, then knees him low. Yujiro CLUBS Kidd, reels him in, but Kidd suplexes first! TENZAN BRAINBUSTER! Fans fire up as Kidd and Yujiro crawl. Hot tag to Coughlin! The Android picks Yujiro up and RAMS him into a corner! And RAMS again and again, and then UPPERCUTS and CHOPS!

Fans fire up as Coughlin fireman’s carries Yujiro, for a RUNNING DEATH VALLEY! Cover, but Evil breaks it! Kidd kicks Evil and throws him out. Kidd goes out after Evil with more Tenzan Power! Coughlin powers up, runs, but Yujiro gets around the lariat to backslide! Coughlin rolls through but Yujiro reels him in. Coughlin powers out of Pimp Juice, but Yujiro bumps into the ref! Coughlin shouts, “YOU!” but he runs into a REVERSE DDT! And with no ref, here come Dick & Sho! Fans boo because they can now, but Evil CLUBS Kidd down. Dick & Sho get in the ring, fans tell them to go away, and then Evil & Yujiro say they can go?

Evil & Yujiro say they have this, they don’t need to cheat. Dick & Sho understand, and they exit. Fans applaud while Yujiro and Evil stand Coughlin & Kidd up. But then they DOUBLE LOW BLOW!! Well, they’re still cheating, just on their own. The House of Torture laughs and Evil stands Kidd up to kick him back down. Dick & Sho then return, and fans boo even more. The House was just tricking everyone, and now they all stomp away on Coughlin & Kidd! Evil drags Kidd up, throws him out, and Sho goes out after Kidd. Yujiro sits Coughlin up, PIMP JUICE! Dick puts the ref back in, he counts the cover, TWO?!?! Coughlin still lives and shocks everyone!!

Fans are thunderous but Evil gets a chair! Sho distracts the ref, Yujiro sits Coughlin up and Evil rushes in, but Kidd BOOTS the chair into Evil! Fans fire up more and Coughlin shoves Yujiro into Sho! Then Coughlin scoops Yujiro to the FALL AWAY SUPLEX! Bridging cover, The Mechanical Bulls win!!

Winners: Alex Coughlin & Gabriel Kidd, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Evil & Yujiro earn 0)

FINALLY! Kidd & Coughlin have their first win as a duo! They won’t win the league, but does this mean there’s hope for the Mechanical Bulls as a team? As for the House of Torture, are they ever going to give up their cheating ways?

 

World Tag League 2022: Great-O-Khan & Aaron Henare VS Aussie Open!

With the way things are going, the All United Empire Finals might not be happening! Will the Dominator & Ultimate Weapon get a little help from Mark Davis & Kyle Fletcher? Or will Dunk-Zilla & the Aussie Arrow make their senpai earn the dream?

Fans cheer as Gideon Grey makes his way out, along with the Karatsu City mascot, Karawan-kun the beetle-helmet wearing dog. The Orchestrator says good evening, and introduces himself. “And today is a very big day, but first, the Great-O-Khan has forged a new alliance.” The United Empire’s newest mascot is Karawan-kun! “And now, as a humble servant to the people of the United Empire, there is no greater joy that I can take than introducing you to your combatants.” That is to say, he gets to do introductions for BOTH teams of the United Empire! They wait to all go to the ring together, showing that the Empire is united, even when they are competing against each other.

The teams sort out and fans rally up. Khan starts against Davis, and they RAM each other at the bell! Fans fire up as they go again, and again, and then get forehead to forehead. Khan forearms, Davis gives it back, repeat, and fans rally as the shots go faster and faster! Davis and Khan get forehead to forehead again, run, but then Henare and Kyle trip them up! Henare and Kyle send Davis and Khan into railing, then rush in at each other to fire off forearms of their own! Fans fire up again as the shots go back and forth! Khan and Davis return, and they return to firing forearms back and forth with each other!

Fans are loving the brawling but the ref wants this to sort out to 1v1! Khan & Henare get the edge, then they both run, but Aussie Open dodges to pick them both up! They SANDWICH their senpai! Fans fire up and Davis tags in Kyle. Aussie Open drag Khan up, double whip him to ropes, but Khan ducks the double lariat! PONYTAIL CHOKE on Kyle! Henare dropkicks Davis’ legs out! Khan drags Kyle down to a HEAD ‘N’ ARM TRIANGLE! Henare runs over and has a HEEL HOOK! Kyle endures double submissions, but the ref counts! Kyle gets the ROPEBREAK with his free leg! The ref counts again, Khan & Henare let Kyle go.

Khan drags Kyle up, and has the PONYTAIL CHOKE! The ref reprimands Henare tags in, and the senpai mug Kyle. Henare stalks Kyle, ROCKS him with forearms, then throws knees. Henare snapmares and PENALTY KICKS Kyle in the back! Fans applaud while Kyle writhes. Henare drags Kyle back up, but Kyle throws body shots and a flurry of forearms! Henare DECKS Kyle in return! Henare drags Kyle back up, whips, but Kyle reverses. Kyle runs in but into an elbow! Henare goes up, FLYING CHUCK! Cover, TWO! Khan BLASTS Davis off the apron, then he and Henare drag Kyle back up. Fans rally as the senpai double whip Kyle to the corner.

Khan whips Henare in but Kyle goes up and over! Kyle ducks under Khan, hot tag to Davis! Fans fire up as Davis runs through Khan’s lariat to corner clothesline Henare! Davis CHOPS Khan, clotheslines Henare again, then CHOPS Khan again! Davis clotheslines Henare again but Khan ducks the chop. Khan & Henare mug Davis, they double whip but Davis handsprings and DOUBLE LARIATS back! Fans fire up and Davis drags Henare up. Davis shoves Henare to a corner, and CHOP LARIATS! And CHOP LARIATS! And CHOP LARIATS again! Fans fire up, Davis wrenches Henare and torture racks, but Henare fights free!

Henare BOOTS Davis down, then runs at the corner. Davis dodges and Kyle runs in to LARIAT! Kyle sits Henare down for Davis’ SLIDING FOREARM! Kyle then DIVES onto Khan! Fans fire up and Davis torture racks Henare, for the SPINNING RACK BOMB! Cover, TWO! Tag to Kyle and fans rally as Aussie Open coordinates. Fireman’s carry, POP-UP KICK! Kyle hops up and Davis scoops Henare for a LAWN DART CUTTER! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up as Henare stays in this. Kyle fires up now and Davis helps him stand Henare up. They double pump handle but Khan saves Henare! But then Aussie Open double wrench and DOUBLE FOREARM!

Aussie Open dumps Khan out, they get Henare back up, double underhooks and lift, BUTTERFLY SPINEBUSTER! Cover, but Khan breaks it in time! Fans fire up while Davis stomps Khan. Aussie Open whips Khan to ropes, but Khan BOOTS Kyle and arm-drags Davis! Fans fire up as Khan goes to his corner and calls to Henare. Henare crawls over as fans rally, hot tag to Khan! Khan storms up on Kyle, for Mongolian Chops! And then more Mongolian Chops in the corner! Khan turns Kyle around, to sit up on his throne! Fans cheer but the ref reprimands. Khan hops off at 4, then dribbles Kyle off the buckles! Khan goes to TEN, then he SLAM DUNKS Kyle!

Kyle staggers into a PANCAKE PLEX! Bridging cover, but Davis breaks it! Henare CLUBS Davis then throws him out. Khan & Henare double whip Kyle corner to corner, then Khan runs in to clothesline! Henare runs in to SHINING WIZARD! Feed to Khan for HITSUJIGOROSHI! Henare hooks up the legs, FUBUKI! Kyle endures, but he gets MARINE! Cover, Davis breaks it! Henare CLUBS and HEADBUTTS Davis, then throws him out again. Henare tags in, he storms up on Kyle. Fans rally, Henare stomps Kyle then drags him up. Kyle CHOPS back! And CHOPS again! And then ROCKS Henare with a forearm!

Henare and Kyle stagger, but Kyle runs corner to corner. Henare dodges the kick, Khan rushes in to feed Kyle to Henare’s scoop, BERSERKER BOMB!! Cover, TWO!! Kyle survives and fans rally up. Henare drags Kyle up, fireman’s carries, and Khan runs, but Davis clotheslines him out! Kyle slips free, Davis dodges Henare, SUPERKICK BOOT COMBO! Fans are thunderous as Aussie Open regroup. Davis goes to the corner, Kyle tags him in, and Aussie Open fires up as they go to opposite corners. They aim as Henare stands up, but he moves as they rush in! Aussie Open stop from colliding, Kyle rushes at Henare but he dodges.

Davis kicks but Henare blocks, to step-over WHEEL KICK! Fans fire up as Kyle SUPERKICKS Henare down, but then Khan LARIATS Kyle! Davis CLOBBERS Khan but Henare HEEL KICKS Davis! ELBOW JAB for Kyle, but DROPKICK for Henare! Khan dodges Kyle to NECKBREAKER DROP! But then Davis ENZIGURIS Khan down! Fans are thunderous again as the entire United Empire is down! The teams regroup and slowly rise. Aussie Open throw forearms first, but Khan & Henare give them back. Aussie Open hits again, #Khanare hits back! Aussie Open, Khanare, repeat! Fans fire up as they go faster and faster!

Aussie Open gets the edge, they fire up, but Khan Mongolian Chops and Henare body shots! The senpai have control as Khan puts some stank on his Mongolian- NO, Davis blocks! But Henare gets around to ROUNDHOUSE Davis in the back! Davis wobbles, the Monster Rage boils over! Khan scoops Davis, Henare SCREW HIGH KICKS and then Khan TENZAN TOMBSTONE DRIVERS!! Henare covers, but Kyle barrels in to break it!! Fans are thunderous again as Khan drags Kyle up. Kyle forearms Khan, CHOPS Henare, repeat! Kyle roars and runs, but into a BOOT SUPERKICK COMBO! Khan & Henare get Davis up now!

Fireman’s carry, Khan runs, but Davis slips off to shove the senpai into each other! Davis reels Henare in, Kyle gut wrenches Khan, DOUBLE DRIVERS!! Cover, TWO!?!? Khan & Henare both roar as they rise up! But Aussie Open aim from the corners! DOUBLE LARIAT SANDWICH! Khan falls, Aussie Open pump handle Henare, COREALIS!! Cover, Aussie Open wins!!

Winners: Aussie Open, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Henare & Khan earn 0)

The All United Empire Finals is no longer going to happen, but based on this, we know what would’ve happened! Davis & Fletcher best their senpai, will they soon prove they are the best?

But in the end, the United Empire all stands together, along with Gideon and Karawan-kun. Gideon wants everyone to understand this was about more than just two points! “This was about the pride beating in the heart of each and every one of these men in this ring!” Fans applaud that. “You wanna achieve greatness? You wanna make a change? Then follow this example! NEVER give less than 100%! NEVER stop moving forward! And NEVER give up! And when your body gives out, which it will, have your allies pick you back up and do it all over again! Get off your ass and do something you can be proud of! This is why United Empire runs the world!”

Fans applaud that passion, and the four stand together at the center. Gideon says this was the best match from the best unit! “This is the power of the United Empire!!” Fans cheer as the faction hugs it out. Will the United Empire soon become the strongest faction in all of professional wrestling?

 

World Tag League 2022: Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI VS Minoru Suzuki & Lance Archer!

Bishamon is on the bubble, but they could find a way! Unless the Meanest Tag Team in World Tag League has something to say about it! If #EverybodyDies, does another run come to an end? Or will the Fierce Warrior & Head Hunter #TurnItAllAround before the end?

Naturally, the Murderhawk Monster clobbers a Young Lion, and he goes after Oskar Leube. Then he goes to intimidate Milano Collection AT! Milano runs off, Archer sits in his seat and puts on the headset. Archer says hello to Jushin Thunder Liger, asks if he’s doing well, then says F U and gets back to the ring. Suzuki makes his entrance, he BOOTS Young Lion Ryohei Oiwa down, and fans take full advantage of being able to sing “KAZE NI NARE~!” Goto & Hashi make their entrance, but Archer & Suzuki attack after the introductions! Archer stomps Goto in a corner, Suzuki fires off on Hashi! The bell rings as Suzuki throws Hashi out!

Archer stands on Goto in the corner while Suzuki stomps Hashi against railing! Fans rally up while the ref reprimands. Archer tells the ref to shut up, then he stomps Goto more. Archer stands Goto up to ROCK him, then CHOKE him against the ropes! The ref counts, Archer stops at 4. Archer runs, but Hashi gets in and Bishamon RAMS Archer with double shoulders! Suzuki runs in but Hashi kicks him first. Bishamon drums Suzuki down! Fans fire up as Bishamon gets Archer now for drumming! But Archer explodes out! Archer runs to CLOBBER Goto, and Suzuki has Hashi in a HANGING ARMBAR!

The ref reprimands, Suzuki lets off at 4, and he drags Hashi out. Archer goes after Goto on the outside while Suzuki whips Hashi into railing! Archer digs his knee into Goto’s neck but the ref reprimands. Archer tells the ref to shut up again, but Suzuki brings Hashi around the railing. Abe-san moves aside so Suzuki can throw Hashi onto the timekeeper’s table! Suzuki then grabs one of the chairs and digs it into Hashi’s head! Archer meanwhile whips Goto hard into railing! Fans rally up while Archer take apart the railing! Archer uses that to choke Goto! The ref reprimands, he starts the ring count, but Suzuki brings Hashi up the ramp!

Suzuki reels Hashi in, Gotch holds, but Hashi resists the lift! The count is 10 of 20, Suzuki KNEES Hashi down, then goes back to ringside. Archer puts Goto in, reels him in and short arm LARIATS! Tag to Suzuki and he covers, TWO! Fans rally while Suzuki looms over Goto. Suzuki kicks Goto around, toys with him as he digs his heel into Goto’s face, then gives him some stomps. Goto sits up, Suzuki KICKS and KICKS, but Goto glares defiantly. So Suzuki KNEES Goto down! Suzuki drags Goto around by a leg for a HEEL HOOK, then turns the leg. Suzuki also gets an arm, but Goto still endures. Goto reaches out, but Suzuki lets off to keep him from the ropes.

Archer goes after Hashi on the outside, Suzuki drags Goto up but Goto CHOPS! And CHOPS! Suzuki CHOPS back! Suzuki has Goto in the corner, Archer holds Goto up, and Suzuki CHOPS! Suzuki throws body shots, then CHOPS again! Tag to Archer and Archer brings Goto around. Goto fires CHOPS in return! Goto KICKS but Archer kicks and ROCKS and whips! Goto hits buckles hard and bounces off! Archer waits on Goto to stand back up, fans rally up, and Archer runs in to back elbow! Archer keeps moving, he CLOBBERS Goto! Fans fire up while Archer has a cocky cover. TWO, but then Archer DECKS Hashi off the apron.

Archer stomps Goto, tags Suzuki, and Suzuki drags Goto up to wrench and double wristlock! Goto moves around but Suzuki wrangles him down! ARMBAR!! Goto endures, flails and moves around, and gets the ROPEBREAK! Suzuki lets off and fans applaud. Tag to Archer, he tells fans rallying for Goto to shut up. Fans rally harder for Goto and Archer eggs Goto on. Archer slaps Goto around but Goto fires off CHOPS! Archer knees low, runs, but Goto follows to LARIAT! Archer stays up, so Goto runs again, to LARIAT! Archer choke grips, but Goto breaks free, dodges, and hot tags Hashi! Hashi RAMS Archer, and RAMS again!

Archer pie faces Hashi to a corner, runs in but Hashi dodges. Hashi clotheslines, whips, but Archer reverses! Hashi comes back to dropkick the legs out! Hashi keeps moving to HEADHUNTER! Fans fire up with Hashi and he brings Archer up. Hashi goes to suplex but Archer blocks! Hashi keeps trying, but Archer still resists. Hashi kicks and kicks and fires up! Hashi suplexes, but Archer fights that! Archer wrenches but Hashi ROCKS and CHOPS and ROCKS Archer again. Archer still whips but Hashi holds ropes. Archer runs in, Hashi drop toeholds him into ropes! Hashi runs and SHOTGUNS Archer down!

Fans fire up and Hashi tags Goto back in. Hashi BLASTS Suzuki, Goto stomps Archer. Bishamon double whips Archer to a corner, Goto whips Hashi in but Archer elbows Hashi away. Goto runs in but Archer BOOTS him! Archer hops up and DOUBLE CROSSBODIES! Fans fire up and Archer tags Suzuki. Suzuki stomps Goto around, brings him up and whips him to a corner. Suzuki runs in to BOOT Goto, then he snapmares and runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up while Suzuki argues the count. Suzuki kicks at Goto, drags him back up, and he HEADBUTTS! Goto drops to a knee but Suzuki brings him back up.

Suzuki HEADBUTTS again and again, but Goto throws a forearm! Suzuki snarls and storms up to forearm Goto back! Goto forearms, Suzuki forearms, repeat! Fans fire up as the forearms go faster and faster! Goto gets the edge, but Suzuki just grins through it all! Suzuki comes back to DECK Goto! Fans fire up as Suzuki looms over Goto. Suzuki eggs Goto on and then runs, but Goto blocks the boot! Goto hooks Suzuki up and Hashi runs in, GOTO GOTO HUNTER! Hashi BLASTS Archer off the apron! Fans fire up with Bishamon as Hashi calls for lights out! Goto drags Suzuki up, Hashi has th elegs, but Archer attacks them first!

Archer throws knees into Hashi, then he and Suzuki whip Goto and Hashi into each other! Archer then hauls Goto up and Suzuki runs, HART ATTACK!! Cover, Hashi breaks it! Archer drags Hashi up to throw him out! Suzuki drags Goto up and around but Goto’s dead weight. Archer sends Hashi into railing while Suzuki taunts Goto. Fans rally up while Suzuki drags Goto back up. Goto swings, misses, and Suzuki ROCKS him! SLEEPER HOLD!! Goto flails, reaches out, but Suzuki keeps him from the ropes! Suzuki squeezes tighter, Goto is turning purple! Goto sits down, he sputters, and the ref checks! Goto is fading, Suzuki covers, TWO!!!

Suzuki SLEEPERS Goto again and drags him up! Then he spins Goto around, reels him in, and Gotch holds! But Goto resists the lift! Fans fire up as the struggle continues, but Suzuki lifts Goto up! Goto kicks and flails but Suzuki still lifts! Goto fights to back drop free!! Goto roars, runs, but Suzuki follows to shoot around, SLEEPER! But Goto powers Suzuki to a corner! Hashi runs in to clothesline! Feed to the fireman’s carry, FIERCE- NO, Archer grabs Hashi by the hair! Suzuki slips off to SLEEPER! Hashi gets around Archer to waistlock, Archer elbows free, but then Hashi dumps him out! Fans fire up as Goto fireman’s carries!

FIERCE FLASH! Into SHOUTO!!! Cover, Bishamon wins!!

Winners: Hirooki Goto & Yoshi-Hashi, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Suzuki & Archer earn 0)

Goto & Hashi live to fight another round! Can Bishamon #GetBackUp to the World Tag League finals for a back-to-back victory?

 

World Tag League 2022: Toru Yano & Hiroshi Tanahashi VS Shane Haste & Mikey Nicholls!

The Joker & The Ace were knocked out of the running just last round, but they aren’t going to let that stop them! Will they bring down one of the frontrunners in the block? Or will Shane & Mikey prove that The Mighty Don’t Kneel?

The teams sort out and the Mighty want Red Shoes to thoroughly check Yano. Yano says it’s all fine! Tanahashi takes off his jacket, and Yano says, “SUGOI~!” Yano gets the fans cheering for “HIROSHI! HIROSHI!” and Tanahashi starts against Shane. Shane does an air drum while Tanahashi air guitars. Fans rally for Hiroshi as he circles with Shane. They tie up, Shane powers Tanahashi to ropes, but Red Shoes calls the break. Shane lets off to flex his own muscles. Fans applaud as they are impressive, but Tanahashi shrugs that off. Tanahashi and Shane circle and tie up again, and Tanahashi puts Shane on ropes now.

Tanahashi lets off quickly, and he flexes his muscles. Fans cheer even more, and that annoys Shane. But Tanahashi blocks Shane’s kick to CLUB the leg then headlock. Shane powers up but can’t power out as Tanahashi holds tight. Tanahashi hits a headlock takeover but Shane headscissors. Tanahashi kips free but Shane headlocks for a takeover. Now Tanahashi headscissors and Shane kips free. Tanahashi flexes and Shane backs away. Shane wants Tanahashi to back up, and Tanahashi steps away. Shane resets and circles with Tanahashi again. But then Shane tags Mikey and Yano calls to Tanahashi! Tanahashi tags Yano and fans fire up!

Yano and Mikey step up, and Yano squats! Fans want Mikey to squat but Mikey mocks it as sumo. Yano stands up and says it’s not sumo, but Mikey kicks him low! Mikey whips, Yano holds ropes to taunt Mikey, then he dodges to go for a buckle pad! Mikey storms over as Yano throws the pad away. Mikey kicks Yano and runs, but Tanahashi catches him! Yano runs in but Mikey moves! Yano stops from running into Tanahashi, but he turns around into a kick! Mikey runs, but Tanahashi gets in, both Yano & Tanahashi run Mikey over! Fans fire up as they both squat by him. Shane gets in to BOOT Tanahashi out of the ring!

Yano says, “Oh sh*t” and Shane BOOTS him down! Mikey gets up, he kicks Yano out, and then goes out after Yano to kick him more. Mikey smacks Yano off the apron, puts him in the ring, and covers, TWO! Fans applaud but Mikey drags Yano around into a CAMEL CLUTCH! Yano endures, Mikey fishhooks Yano’s face! Red Shoes reprimands, Mikey lets go, and he tags Shane. Fans rally for Yano but the Mighty mug Yano in the corner. Shane pushes Yano out while Mikey BLASTS Tanahashi! Shane sends Yano into railing! Shane puts Yano in the ring, drags him up by his hair, and he snapmares Yano back down for a basement dropkick! Cover, TWO!

Shane squats! Fans applaud and Shane SLAMS Yano’s arm down! Then he SLAMS Yano’s other arm! Then he makes Yano clap really hard! Fans clap along, then Shane SLAMS both arms! Fans cheer and Shane flexes. Shane drags Yano over, tags Mikey in, and the Mighty drag Yano up. Yano fights back with forearms, but Shane UPPERCUTS and Mikey reels Yano in, BACK SUPLEX NECKBREAKER COMBO! Cover, Tanahashi breaks it! Mikey CLUBS Tanahashi and shoves him out. Mikey stomps Yano more, then drops knees at the ropes. Fans rally while Shane taunts Yano. Mikey eggs Yano on and Yano stands up.

Yano fires off forearms but Mikey hits back! Yano pulls hair but Mikey ROCKS Yano! Mikey whips, Yano reverses and throws Mikey down by his hair! Fans fire up and Yano crawls over, hot tag to Tanahashi! Tanahashi fires off on Mikey, then whips to ropes. Mikey reverses but Tanahashi FLYING FOREARMS! Tanahashi BLASTS Shane for good measure, then he runs at Mikey. Tanahashi blocks a boot to DRAGON SCREW! Shane runs in but his kick is blocked, DRAGON SCREW! Fans fire up with Tanahashi and he brings Mikey up. Tanahashi scoops and SLAMS Mikey into a drop zone, then goes up the corner. SUNSET SENTON! Cover, TWO!

Fans rally up as Tanahashi waits on Mikey. Mikey stands, Tanahashi runs, but into an ELBOW! Mikey runs, ducks Tanahashi’s haymaker, and fireman’s carries for a DEATH VALLEY BOMB! Fans fire up while both men are down. Tanahashi and Mikey crawl, hot tags to Yano and Shane! Fans cheer as Yano dodges to SLAP Shane! Yano whips, Shane reverses, but Yano stops from hitting bare buckles! Shane runs in but Yano sends him into the buckles! Roll-up, TWO! Yano is upset with Red Shoes but Red SHoes says his count was fair. Shane UPPERCUTS, but Yano atomic- NO, Shane slips off to BOOT!

Shane suplexes for a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO!! Yano is still in this but Shane snarls. Shane calls his shot, goes up the corner, but Yano knocks Red Shoes into the ropes to trip Shane up! Yano apologizes to them all, but Shane YANKS Yano into the bare buckles! Shane adjusts, Yano staggers, and Shane leaps, into an atomic drop! Fans fire up as Yano crawls and tags in Tanahashi! Tanahashi runs to SLING- NO, Shane atomic drops Tanahashi! Tanahashi goes to a corner, Shane runs in but Tanahashi dodges! Shane’s boot misses and he gets hung up on the top rope again! Tanahashi runs, but Shane DROPKICKS him down!

Fans fire up as Shane and Tanahashi crawl. Hot tag to Mikey! Mikey drags Tanahashi up, suplexes, but Tanahashi slips free! Tanahashi waistlocks, but he ducks Mikey’s elbow, only for Mikey to DDT! Fans fire up as Mikey roars, and Mikey drags Tanahashi up. But Tanahashi throws a forearm! Mikey forearms back, they go back and forth and fans fire up! Tanahashi UPPERCUTS, runs, but into a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Mikey argues the count, and Shane sends Yano into railing! Mikey scoops Tanahashi, Shane runs in, TANKBUSTER! Cover, but Yano breaks it! Shane throws Yano out and then goes out after him.

Mikey drags Tanahashi up, reels him in, but Tanahashi fights the bomb! Tanahashi throws elbows, to TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! Fans fire up, Tanahashi runs, but into a scoop! MIKEY BOMB!! Cover, TWO!?!? Mikey can’t believe that Tanahashi survives! Fans fire up as Shane gets back in. The Mighty roar, they drag Tanahashi up, THUNDER- NO, Tanahashi fights free! Tanahashi fires off forearms and elbows, but Mikey SLAPS! Shane SLAPS! The Mighty DOUBLE SLAP! But then Tanahashi duck and the Mighty SLAPS each other! Tanahashi DRAGON PALMS Mikey while Yano shoves Red Shoes out of the way!

Tanahashi shoves Mikey into Shane, and Yano DOUBLE LOW BLOWS The Mighty! Tanahashi runs to SLINGBLADE Mikey down! Fans are thunderous as Tanahashi PLANCHAS Shane! Yano has Mikey up, ONIGOROSHI!! Tanahashi climbs up top, HIGH FLY FLOW!! Cover, the Joker & the Ace win!

Winners: Toru Yano & Hiroshi Tanahashi, by pinfall (gain 2 points; The Mighty earn 0)

The Mighty Don’t Kneel, but they FELL here tonight! And with Aussie Open as their last opponents, are they doomed to miss the finals?

As for Yano & Tanahashi, Red Shoes squats with them to confirm the victory, and then Yano calls in the Mayor! “Shichou” Toshiyuki Sakai says why not, and he gets into the ring! He takes off the suit jacket and puts his mask aside for the moment, so he can squat! Maybe he was a Yankee in his younger days? Fans cheer the photo op, and then Tanahashi gets the mic. “After 25 years, NJPW is back in Karatsu!” Fans cheer for that! Tanahashi thanks the fans for coming out and supporting NJPW, which fans also applaud. Tanahashi says “You all have really let me see so much of Karatsu. Thank you. Liger-san introduced me to this beautiful town. The food, the sights. Thank you for having us.

“But the thing that really struck me about this place was the warm reception all of you gave us. Thank you so much!” Fans cheer that, too. Tanahashi then says, “So next time, we’ll see you in another 25 years?” Fans laugh, then boo, because they hope not! “No? Okay, we’ll see you… next year!” Fans cheer but is Tanahashi putting NJPW in a spot promising that? Tanahashi thanks the fans again for supporting the show until the end. “Finally, to every single one of you in Karatsu… AISHITEMAAASU~!” Fans get to cheer along with that one, and getting to join Yano in “Y T R!” The Joker & The Ace take a victory lap around the ring, but then Tanahashi gets back in the ring.

“Sorry. I forgot the air guitar!” Fans cheer, at least he remembered before he left. Fans chant, “GI-TA-RU! GI-TA-RU!” and a fan sends theirs up to Tanahashi! “KARATSU~!” “OSU!” “KARATSU~!” “OSU!” “LET’S ROCK~!” The air guitar concert begins! Yano is even sitting in his red chair doing air drums! Big finish! Fans want an “EN-CO-RU! EN-CO-RU!” Tanahashi decides to return that previous air guitar, so he can borrow one from the other side of the arena! Another air guitar is sent up, and then Yano switches to air bass! They jam out and fans clap along! Fans cheer Yano for going hard on the bass. But they still want more!

The mayor has an air guitar! Tanahashi takes it, and Yano’s back on drums! Fans cheer the third round of the concert, and Yano is surprised when there’s actually a cymbal crash for his big finish! Tanahashi returns the mayor’s guitar, then gets the mic again. “I can’t just leave it at that, so I have to close on a second Aishitemasu for the first time ever!” Fans fire up as they get to be part of history! “Finally, and really this time, Karatsu… AISHITEMAAAAAAASU!” So much love, energy, comedy and music, will this help carry Yano, Tanahashi and all of  NJPW into a bright future?

 

Here are the NEW World Tag League standings!

Aussie Open: 7-1, 14 points
The Mighty: 5-2, 10 points
Naito & Sanada: 5-2, 10 points
Goto & Hashi: 5-2, 10 points
Yano & Tanahashi: 4-3, 8 points [ELIMINATED]
Khan & Henare: 4-4, 8 points [ELIMINATED]
Suzuki & Archer: 3-4, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
Coughlin & Kidd: 1-6, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
Evil & Yujiro: 1-6, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

Chase & Fale: [FORFEIT]


My Thoughts:

Another great round for World Tag League, and awesome stuff to see Coughlin & Kidd get a win off House of Torture. I like Coughlin & Kidd as a team, and I know Coughlin’s overall story is going to be hunting down JR Kratos, but maybe Kidd can be his back-up through that story. Aussie Open VS Henare & Khan probably had the actual best match of the night and that probably could’ve been the main event. But at the same time, I get they put this earlier on the card because it was still very clear Aussie Open was going to win. They have such a big lead, Aussie Open is already a lock for the finals, so it all comes down to their opponents.

Goto & Hashi had a great match against Suzuki & Archer to get a much needed win. But I have a feeling they’re going to be out next with Naito & Sanada still in the running, and Aussie Open VS The Mighty being a big match-up on Friday the 9th. Yano & Tanahashi beating the Mighty though being out of the running was big for them, and I really do hope those two keep things going past World Tag League. At the same time, they probably choose not to so that their high school bad boy act doesn’t get tired.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (12/5/22)

Who will be The Ones?

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WWE Raw 2022

There’s a lot on the line for The Bloodline!

United though they may be, The Bloodline still needs to be on guard! Jimmy & Jey Uso return to Raw to defend their Undisputed Tag Team Championships against Matt Riddle & Elias!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS Matt Riddle & Elias; The Usos win and retain the titles.
  • Triple Threat: Bayley VS Rhea Ripley VS Asuka; Bayley wins and advances to next week’s Raw Women’s Championship #1 contenders match.
  • WWE United States Championship: Austin Theory VS Mustafa Ali; Theory wins by disqualification and retains the title.
  • JBL’s High Stakes Poker Invitational: Lumis wins.
  • Six Man Tag: The OC VS Baron Corbin & The Alpha Academy; The OC wins.
  • Dominik Mysterio VS Akira Tozawa; Dominik wins.
  • Triple Threat: Becky Lynch VS Alexa Bliss VS Nikki Cross; Alexa wins and advances to next week’s Raw Women’s Championship #1 contenders match.

PLAY PY PLAY

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS Matt Riddle & Elias!

The Bloodline is here as Sami Zayn and Solo Sikoa accompany Jimmy & Jey to the ring. The reign is over 500 days and counting, but could that time be up here in Washington, DC? Or will

As footage shows, it was earlier tonight when the Bloodline arrived. They were fired up, but Byron Saxton walked over to interview them. But then The Bro scooters in super fast! The Bloodline gets clear, and they’re upset. Jey says it doesn’t matter, they gonna get Riddle AND Elias tonight like they have every other team! If Riddle and Elias want at the titles, just look who showed up tonight? But then Elias comes out of his tour bus to ask what all the commotion’s about. Solo CLOBBERS Elias from behind! The Bloodline mugs The Drifter, and Solo whips Elias into spare railing! Sami says that’s what they get! Then he realizes Elias might be hurt.

In the present, Jey gets a mic to say, “The Bloodline is now in your city!” But Jimmy says there’s some bad news. The championship match that was supposed to go down is officially canceled! Cuz the Enforcer, Solo Sikoa, done bodied Elias in the parking lot. Now, everyone surely came here to see them compete, but here’s the bright side: Riddle won’t be humiliated, and Elias can go home to work on any song he wants to. Sami adds, “Bet! Sorry, it just felt like a good time for a ‘bet.'” Jimmy understands. But what you can look forward to now is the Usos focusing on being the best tag team ever!

The Usos will defend against any team that wants to run up, but those that run up will get done up! Because everyone else is the twos, and #WeTheOnes! But “Bro…” Riddle comes out to say, “First of all, it wasn’t so cool of you guys to take out my partner Elias tonight, dude. Like tonight was his first night to finally get WWE gold. And honestly, if I’m being real, it’s not really like The Bloodline to run from a fight. I would say it’s not very… How you say? Ucey?” Sami tells Riddle, “Yo yo yo yo yo yo! Hold up, my dawg.” Sami wants to explain something to Riddle. Riddle is not the one who decides what is or isn’t Ucey. Sami’s a bit of an expert in this field.

In fact, Sami is a certified Uceologist. What? Sami is the one to say what is and isn’t Ucey. For example, Solo Sikoa showing once again why he IS the Enforcer by destroying Elias, that is UCEY! The Usos continuing to be the longest reigning tag team champions in history, that is UCEY! Riddle coming out here, running his mouth, thinking he ever had a chance at beating them is NOT Ucey. So unless Riddle wants to suffer the same fate as Elias, just go home. Riddle says he did find someone else. And there WILL be a tag title match tonight! Now, Riddle and this guy aren’t really bros, but they both hate the Bloodline. It’s KEVIN OWENS!!

The Prizefighter and the Bro go to the ring but the Usos say that’s fine. Will the #KOBros be the ones to dethrone Jimmy & Jey?

The teams sort out, Kevin and Jey start and the bell rings. Kevin blocks Jey’s superkick and fires off haymakers! Kevin has Jey in a corner, the ref counts and Kevin lets off at 4. Kevin drags Jey up to whip to ropes and he CLOBBERS Jey with an elbow, to then SENTON! Cover, TWO! Sami coaches Jey but Kevin drags Jey up. Kevin bumps Jey off buckles, JABS, then backs up to run corner to corner! CANNO- NO, Jimmy gets Jey out of the way. Fans boo but Kevin goes out after them all to CLOBBER Jimmy! Kevin whips Jey into barriers! Fans fire up with Kevin, Kevin asks Solo what he’s staring at, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns as Kevin covers, TWO! Jimmy survives the cannonball but Kevin knocks him back down. Kevin goes up and up and MOONSUALTS! Cover, ONE!! Jimmy scrambles to ropes, Sami is upset about things, but Riddle tags in. Riddle stands Jimmy up to ROCK him with haymakers. Riddle whips, Jimmy reverses but Riddle holds ropes to BOOT Jimmy. But Jimmy distracts the ref and Jey ENZIGURIS Riddle down! Sami is fired up but fans boo the cheap shot. Jimmy tags Jey, the Usos split the wishbone. Jey looms over Riddle, he drags Riddle around then stomps him down. Jey throws his shirt at Kevin but Kevin just throws it on the floor.

Jey CHOKES Riddle on the ropes, he lets off at 4, and Jimmy BOOTS Riddle down! The cheap shots continue and fans boo again. Jey drags Riddle up, scoops him and tags Jimmy. Jimmy climbs up, BACKBREAKER AX HANDLE COMBO! Cover, TWO! Riddle hangs tough and the Usos are annoyed. Fans rally but Jimmy drags Riddle up to ROCK him! Riddle ROCKS Jimmy back, fires off more shots, then he BLASTS Jey! Jimmy UPPERCUTS Riddle down! Jimmy BLASTS Kevin for good measure! But Riddle fires off forearms on Jimmy! Jey tags in as Riddle whips, and Jimmy reverses, the Usos DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER! Jey covers, TWO!

Sami is anxious and even Solo shows a bit of stress as Riddle is still in this. But Sami says Jey has Riddle where they want him. Jey stands Riddle up but Riddle CHOPS and CHOPS and fires off fast hands! Jey ducks the roundhouse, to POP-UP NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!! Riddle survives but still in a bad way as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Riddle wipes out both Usos! Riddle BROTONS Jimmy then tags in Kevin! Kevin goes up top fast, to SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Sami is stressing out as Kevin keeps focus on Jimmy. Jimmy rises slowly and Sami tries to warn him, but Jimmy turns around into a kick! But Jimmy stops the Stunner! Kevin stops the superkick, to SUPERKICK back! Kevin whips, but Jimmy slips off the pop-up to SUPERKICK! Both men are down and fans fire up! Both men crawl, hot tags to Jey and Riddle! Riddle spins Jey around to PELE! Then Riddle kips up, but Jey mule kicks and UPPERCUTS!

Riddle goes to ropes, Jey run sin but Riddle headscissors him out of the ring! Riddle hurries back in, Sami helps Jey stand up. Kevin storms over but Solo stands in the way! The ref warns Solo, but then Riddle PLANCHAS to take Solo out! Jey SUPERKICKS Kevin! Riddle FLASH KNEES Jey! Riddle puts Jey in, tells Sami to back off, but Jimmy tags in! Riddle rushes Jey but Jimmy storms in. Riddle ROCKS Jimmy, Jey USPERKICKS Riddle! ONE D on the rebound!! Cover, USOS WIN!

Winners: The Usos, by pinfall (still Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions)

The Bloodline’s numbers game is the real unstoppable force in the WWE! And now Sami and the Usos mug Riddle! But Kevin has a chair! He SMACKS Jimmy, and he SMACKS Jey! Sami gets away but Kevin chases him to the back! Solo gets in the ring to SUPERKICK Riddle! Solo fires off on Riddle with heavy fists! Fans boo but the Enforcer isn’t done with Riddle yet. Solo has a taped up thumb, shoutout to Umaga with the SAMOAN SPIKE!! Riddle sputters and crawls to a corner, Solo runs in to HIP ATTACK!! Solo’s rage is unleashed as he gets a chair for himself.

Solo puts the chair around Riddle’s head, punches Riddle down, then goes to the far corner. Fans boo as hard as they can but Solo roars and runs in, FULL METAL HIP ATTACK!!! Riddle writhes and clutches his neck! Medics rush out and put Riddle in a neck brace and onto a backboard. Did Solo just sideline The Bro all on his own?

 

BREAKING NEWS for SmackDown!

Sheamus and Drew McIntyre wanted to challenge the winners to an Undisputed Tag Team Championship match this Friday, but the Scottish Warrior is unfortunately not cleared medically. That means the Celtic Warrior will have “Butch” as his new tag partner! Will Pete Dunne be able to help Sheamus against the Usos? Or will it be more of the same from The Bloodline?

 

The Judgment Day speaks.

Rhea says, “Bayley and Asuka, they’re both credible. They’ve both been Women’s Champion, they’ve both been Women’s Tag Team Champion. They’re both very, very good at what they do. But you know what they’re not? They’re not Rhea bloody Ripley! So when I’m done with them tonight and they’re laying in that ring crying their eyes out and I move on to Bianca Belair for the Raw Women’s Championship, and when I’m done with Bianca, the whole Raw Women’s locker room will be calling me Mami.” The Judgment Day like that, and then Rhea high-fives as she heads out. Will the Eradicator eliminate everyone in her path to the title?

 

JBL’s Poker Invitational begins!

Tamina, Dana Brooke, Shelton Benjamin, Dominik Mysterio and Akira Tozawa are one table, while Chad Gable, Luke Gallows and Baron Corbin are another. Otis has a huge plate of sausage but he isn’t sharing. JBL walks over to say, “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the JBL Poker Invitational, an event that’ll become as big a tradition as The Masters, the Olympics, and as grand a spectacle as WrestleMania. Now, I know a lot of you don’t see eye to eye, and Tozawa… Nobody likes you. But poker is a gentlemen’s, and gentlewoman’s, sport. Especially in the high stakes room. The rules are simple: It is a dime ante. 10, 20K-”

BOOM! Dexter Lumis enters with Johnny Gargano, and he drops the Louis Vuitton bag full of cash he won from The Miz! JBL assumes Crystal Lake doesn’t get mail, but Jason Vorhees here needs an invitation. And JBL is pretty sure he didn’t invite the… one-and-a-half of them. Besides, Lumis can’t possibly have the 50K buy-in. So go stare at someone else. Gargano says “Show ’em.” And Lumis dumps the money out! Well okay! Welcome to the tournament! Lumis has a seat at the table, will anyone be able to crack that poker face?

 

Triple Threat: Bayley VS Rhea Ripley VS Asuka!

A Role Model, an Eradicator and an Empress walk into the ring, but this ain’t no joke! Only one can move on to the next round, who will be one step closer to facing The RawEST Women’s Champion?

But then surprisingly, Becky Lynch calls to Bayley from up in the bleachers! “Hey, ol’ pal! Well, I dunno if I can call ya pal anymore, seeing as how you and your cronies keep trying to jump me.” Fans cheer Becky on and she says, “I was just up at the merch stand, reminiscing about how fun it was last week, me beating up Bayley and her two cronies at one time. That was awesome.” Bayley says it’d be more awesome if Becky could hurry this up. Bayley has stuff to do. Well Becky wants Bayley to know that first, this is a great fan sign, #BigTimeBecky. But did Bayley also know that it’s been over three years since they faced each other 1v1?

Becky says they didn’t even scratch the surface back then. She was gone, Bayley showed up, but kudos to Bayley for carrying the WWE during the ThunderDome era! She really did! She was champion, Double Champion, sometimes doing double and triple duty. Bayley says the fans can cheer for that. The fans do cheer! Becky says Bayley was awesome, but then Becky came back right as Bayley was gone. And then Bayley came back right as Becky was gone. Bayley says she’s kinda repeating herself, and we all know the history. But Becky has a match so she should go, and also Bayley has a match right now that she’s about to win.

So the point is, Becky doesn’t need to tell Bayley’s history. That doesn’t matter now. Stop living in the past! Becky came down the stairs, she’s interrupting matches and Bayley’s “Magic!” Becky thinks she can just do whatever she wants, huh? Yeah, actually, she does. Becky was just trying to catch up. But Bayley says the difference between them, now more than ever, when Becky is here, it’s all about her, isn’t it? Fans cheer Becky because they definitely like her. Bayley says the fans just make it worse. Becky doesn’t care about the fans or anyone else! BAYLEY cares about the fans and the wrestlers!

And that’s what Bayley has been doing while Becky’s been gone. That’s why Bayley has Dakota Kai & Iyo Sky. She looks out of the future for the idiot fans! And the locker room! Bayley sees the bigger picture, but Becky just looks in the mirror! No one cheers, huh? That’s because no one has respect for what Bayley’s doing! Fans still cheer Becky. Becky says Bayley is looking out for people, and DMG CTRL has been successful. Well, two thirds have been, because there’s two champs and one loser. But hey, good luck tonight. Maybe they can finally go 1v1 again and make some history. If Bayley’s woman enough to face The Man, that is.

Becky leaves just as Rhea makes her entrance. Will Big Time Becks have to change her plans on who she’s facing next round?

Raw returns and Asuka makes her entrance. The bell rings and Asuka DROPKICKS Bayley! But Rhea rolls Asuka, ONE!! Asuka dodges Rhea’s haymaker but Bayley ROCKS her! Bayley grab at Asuka but Rhea rolls Bayley up, ONE!! Rhea kicks and stomps and KNEE SMASHES Bayley to then throw her out. Asuka runs in but Rhea catches her hip attack! Rhea CLUBS Asuka, suplexes high and hard, then covers, TWO! Rhea CLUBS Asuka, CLUBS her more, then bumps her off buckles. Fans rally for Asuka but Rhea RAMS into her again and again. Bayley runs up, but Rhea blocks the roll-up! Bayley avoids the stomp, and the two stare down.

Bayley taunts “Mami,” then dodges her haymaker to waistlock. Rhea pries the hold, bucks Bayley at the ropes, then runs in again to scoop. Bayley slips off, but Rhea blocks the punch! Rhea throws body shots, RAMS Bayley into the corner and RAMS into her more! Rhea then brings Bayley out to snap suplex! Rhea looms over Bayley, goes back to Asuka, and whips her corner to corner hard! Rhea then goes to Bayley to CLUB her down. Rhea grins as she whips corner to corner and Bayley hits buckles hard! Rhea grins more as she storms over to Asuka. Rhea stands Asuka up but Asuka throws body shots!

Rhea kicks low, TOSSES Asuka aside, then TOSSES Bayley around! Fans rally as Rhea soaks up the heat. Rhea storms over to Asuka and drags her up. Asuka throws more body shots, then kicks and a SOBAT! Bayley runs in to BLINDSIDE LARIAT Rhea, Asuka SLIDING KICKS! Asuka and Bayley come to an understanding to mug Rhea, and  they POST her! Then Bayley kicks Asuka and headlocks. Asuka fires body shots, powers out and runs Bayley over! Bayley goes to the apron, she avoids the hip attack and she drags Asuka out to throw her into barriers! Bayley CLUBS Asuka, but Rhea CANNONBALLS them both! Fans fire up as Rhea laughs, and Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Bayley paces around as Rhea smothers Asuka into the mat with a forearm. Seems Bayley and Rhea now have that understanding, and Rhea sits Asuka up for Bayley to stomp down. Bayley talks trash, Rhea slaps Asuka around, and they drag Asuka up. Rhea bumps Asuka off buckles, then Rhea whips Bayley in, but Asuka puts her on the apron! Asuka dodges Rhea, URAKEN, URAKEN, SOBAT, KICK and URAKEN to an AX HANDLE! But Rhea blocks the whip! Rhea whips Asuka to a corner, but Asuka dodges! ROUNDHOUSE! Bayley runs in but is sent into Bayley! Rhea SLAMS Bayley, but Asuka uses Bayley as a step to BOOT Rhea!

Fans fire up as Asuka SOBATS Rhea again. Asuka headlocks Rhea, runs at Bayley, but only the LRIAT Hits as Rhea fights the bulldog. Rhea runs in, Asuka dodges, CODE BREAKER! Cover, TWO! Asuka fires up and fans are with her as she watches Rhea and Bayley sit up. Asuka KICKS Rhea, she KICKS Bayley, then back to Rhea! Another for Bayley! Rhea! Bayley, but she ducks! Roll-up, TWO! Bayley kicks but into an ANKLE LOCK! Bayley flails, reaches out, pulls at Asuka’s hair but that won’t stop this. Rhea gets up and storms over, but Bayley grabs Rhea’s hair! Rhea HEADBUTTS Bayley, and Asuka GERMAN SUPLEXES her!

Asuka avoids a kick from Rhea to ROUNDHOUSE Rhea down! Fans fire up but Bayley drags Asuka out! Bayley hurries back in, she calls to Rhea, and Rhea shakes out the cobwebs. Rhea stands up and Bayley still wants to work together. Rhea says she won’t let Bayley boss her around. Bayley says okay, and then she lunges! Into a choke grip! Rhea know that was coming, but Bayley ROCKS her with a forearm! Rhea ROCKS Bayley, Bayley ROCKS Rhea, repeat! Bayley pulls hair but Rhea throws body shots! Bayley hits back, Rhea throws more! Asuka leaps for a DOUBLE CODE BREAKER!! Cover on Rhea, TWO!! Cover on Bayley, TWO!!

Fans fire up and Asuka hurries to a corner. Asuka climbs but Bayley is after her! They brawl, Asuka sends Bayley down then leaps, MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! ASUKA LOCK!!! Bayley flails, reaches out, crawls around with her one free arm, but Rhea returns! Rhea basement dropkicks them both! Cover on Asuka, TWO! Rhea is frustrated but fans rally up. Rhea drags Asuka up to short arm LARIAT! Rhea drags Asuka up again, for another short arm LARIAT! Fans fire up, Rhea drags Asuka up again, but Asuka turns lariat to ARMBAR TAKEDOWN!! Rhea flails, kicks, but Bayley MACHO ELBOWS Asuka! Cover on Asuka, TWO!!

Bayley frowns as she drags herself back up. Bayley runs to CLOBBER Asuka, then she rains down fists! Bayley drags Asuka back up, BAYLEY2BELLY! Cover, Rhea breaks it!! Rhea reels Bayley in for a HEADBUTT! And another! And another! And then a NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Rhea grows frustrated but she turns her attention to Asuka. Asuka kicks, but into an Electric Chair Lift! And SLAM!! Cover, TWO!!! Asuka survives and Rhea cannot believe it! Fans fire up, Rhea hurries to DROPKICK Bayley out of the ring! Rhea hurries outside, runs in around the way, but Bayley KICKS her legs out! Bayley hurries in, ducks a kick and clinches! BAYLEY2- ROLL UP! TWO!!!

Asuka URAKENS! URKAENS! SOBATS! Bayley ducks the next hand, RAMS Asuka to a corner, then runs in, into  a ROUNDHOUSE!! Asuka goes up, MISSILE- NO, Bayley deflects it! ROSE PLANT!!! Cover, BAYLEY WINS!

Winner: Bayley, by pinfall (advances to next week)

Rhea is furious, but she takes it out on Asuka! Rhea kicks Asuka around, then pump handles for the RIPTIDE!! Bayley grins as she moves on, but who will she meet in the #1 contender’s match?

 

Seth Rollins is here!

DC sings for The Visionary as he swaggers his way to the ring. Rollins is here in DC to welcome them to Monday Night Rollins! “you know me, you love me. I am the Visionary, I am the revolutionary, I am Seth… “FREAKIN’ ROLLINS!” And Rollins has big news for DC! “One week from tonight, yours truly is going to go one-on-one with The All Mighty Bobby Lashley! And the winner of that there little match will be your new #1 contender to the United States Championship.” And he’d love to say a lot of things to ol’ “Bob,” but it’s not fun if he’s not out here. And DC wants to have fun, right? The fans cheer and Rollins says they had fun singing his song.

Fans sing again, “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” But then here comes Lashley! Fans cheer as he walks out on stage in a crimson and black suit to counter Rollins’ sky blue and white one. Lashley goes to the ring with a mic of his own to say, “So, Seth, I’m here. So what would you like to tell me. Now be careful with that.” Rollins wants Lashley to hold on. Lashley just hasn’t been the same since Crown Jewel and that loss to Brock Lesnar. And there’s no shame in losing to Lesnar! Been there, done that. But what is with Lashley’s Lesnar obsession? Is Lashley… scared of Lesnar? Rollins knows Lesnar is bigger and stronger-

Lashley stops Rollins there because he knows Rollins is just trying to get under his skin and rattle his cage. No, no, no! Rollins accepts Lashley isn’t afraid. So then… He must be jealous of Lesnar. That’s it! Because Lesnar’s a bigger star, won more championships. That’s gotta be it. Lesnar had the career Lashley wishes he had. Lashley grabs Rollins by his hair to tell him this is NOT about Lesnar! This is about Rollins, Lashley, and the US Championship that should be around Lashley’s waist. Rollins says okay, but just relax. Bob knows as well as Rollins does that the US title won’t fill the void in Lashley’s heart left by the fact that he can’t beat Lesnar.

If Lashley doesn’t get his head right, he can’t get his temper right, and beating him will be a lot easier for Rollins than the first. time. Lashley DECKS Rollins for that! Rollins gets up and they brawls! Fans fire up as Lashley has the edge on Rollins! Lashley throws knees, then he throws Rollins out! Lashley goes out but Rollins jumps on him! Lashley RAMS Rollins into barriers, whips him into more barriers, and DC fires up as Rollins comes back for more! They go around, brawling right on the barriers! Referees and security rush out to stop this! Rollins claws Lashley’s face! The fans want to “Let Them Fight!” and Rollins gets free to CLOBBER Lashley!

The brawling keeps going, Adam Pearce tries to stop this, and Lashley stands down while Rollins slides into the ring. Fans sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~” and Lashley storms back in! They brawl in the ring again! Lashley RAMS Rollins into a corner! The hands keep flying but management and referees separate them again. Lashley gets loose, Rollins moves, the SPEAR hits one of the producers! Pearce shouts at Lashley and Rollins says Lashley has done it now! Producer Pete Williams is hurting, will Lashley have to face the consequences?

 

Backstage interview with Austin Theory.

Byron Saxton asks the WWE United States Champion what we just saw in the “absolute chaos” between Rollins and Lashley. Theory says he saw the past. Two former champs are fighting over scraps, oblivious to the fact that the business has evolved and forgotten about both of them. This business lives in the now, where it’s Theory’s time, and he has all the cards! And let’s face it, what’s a couple of challenges to Theory’s reign when the forever is just beginning? But then he turns around into Mustafa Ali! “Forever, huh? Theory, you just love writing checks that you know you can’t cash in. Oh, ‘cash-in,’ you probably don’t like hearing those words.”

Theory says Ali is annoying! He constantly whines and complains about opportunities, then gets beat down. Why doesn’t Ali just quit? Because Ali isn’t like Theory. Ali has to fight for what he has. He has to fight for opportunities! So know this: Theory can put Ali down but he’ll get back up, back in Theory’s face, and become US Champion. Fine! If Ali wants his shot, and his chance to shock the world, then they’ll do this tonight. But after Theory finishes with Ali, Theory never EVER wants to hear the word “opportunity” comes out of Ali’s sorry mouth again. Theory storms off, but will The Beacon bring the end to “The Now” that is Theory’s reign?

 

Raw checks back in with the JBL Poker Invitational.

Lumis still has fat stacks while the others mull over their hands. JBL has his Ugandan whiskey brought in by the waiter, and gives him a great tip. JBL watches as Corbin’s table moves along. Gable folds, a thank yew. But gentlemen, ladies, the game of poker is about intelligence. The intelligence to know when to push forward, and when to walk away. Gallows says, “NERD!” Gable shouts, “SHOOSH!” “NERD!” “SHOOSH!” This goes back and forth and Corbin has them stop. Take some chill pills. Corbin can’t get a ready on the freak show over here with those two shouting nonsense.

Corbin says Lumis has to be bluffing. He sees through those eyes. Lumis has nothing in his hand, or his head, and Corbin will take all his money and send him back to the loony bin where he belongs. Corbin calls! Corbin has a Straight, 5 through 9! Lumis has… a FULL HOUSE! Three Aces, two Jacks! JBL can’t believe it, either! Corbin says it’s been this way all night! Lumis is some kind of savant. Otis likes croissants. No, savants. Well, those are good, too. Lumis has to be a cheater! No way could he beat Corbin! There have to be cards up his sleeves, in those gloves. Gargano, don’t defend him! Corbin is gonna hand Lumis a-

Lumis has an AX! Whoa, okay, easy now. Corbin and JBL accept Lumis is just that good. Meanwhile, Tozawa is cleaning up on his table! But then Tozawa catches Dom trying to palm a few chips! THIEF!! Thief? This is DOM’S show! Whatever he wants, he gets. And if Tozawa has as problem with that, then the Judgment Day has a problem with Tozawa! Oh, yeah? Well, Tozawa doesn’t care! Dom is the problem. The two stand up, and Dom says Tozawa’s almost as short as his deadbeat dad. JBL has these two settle down. No fighting in the poker room. Go outside if you wanna fight. Tozawa will see Dom in the ring! Yeah he will!

Dom and Tozawa back out of the game for now, but who will be the big winner in the ring?

 

WWE United States Championship: Austin Theory VS Mustafa Ali!

The self-proclaimed Now of WWE has always had a big ego, and many times that ego has cost him. Will it cost him everything he’s worked for here tonight? Or will Theory leave The Beacon in the dark after this high stakes showdown?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who truly represents the future of the WWE!

Fans boo Theory as he and Ali tie up. Theory shoves Ali down and tells him Ali’s wasting his time. Ali comes back to headlock, but Theory powers up. Ali thrashes, Theory powers out and runs Ali over. “What’d I say? You’re wasting your time! You’re in the now.” Theory stands Ali up but Ali puts him in the corner. Ali CHOPS, but Theory just scowls through it. Theory CLOBBERS Ali, brushes himself off, and storms after Ali again. Theory digs his knee into Ali, dares him to do something, but lets off as the ref counts. Theory storms around, whips Ali corner to corner, then he runs in. Ali goes up and over, keeps moving, ducks ‘n’ dodges and tilt-o-whirl RANAS!

Theory bails out but Ali dropkicks him off the apron! Ali builds speed, and he DIVES! Direct hit at the ramp and fans fire up! Ali stalks Theory, brings him up, but Theory breaks free. Theory baits Ali and Ali runs in, Theory POSTS him with an alley-oop! “You’re in the now! You hear me? You’re in the NOW!” Theory RAMS Ali into barriers! Theory asks Ali how that feels while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Ali throws haymakers on Theory! Ali backs Theory down to a corner but Theory turns it around. Theory swings but Ali dodges to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Ali whips corner to corner, Theory reverses but Ali slips out and ROUNDHOUSES Theory away! Ali slingshots, somersaults, and NECKBREAKERS! Fans fire up but Theory fireman’s carries! Ali slips off to BACKSTABBER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Theory crawls to a corner and Ali stands up. Ali storms over, but into an elbow! Theory goes up but Ali ROCKS him first! Ali climbs up after Theory, to SUPER- NO, Theory blocks! Wait, they tip over and Theory still hits the mat!

Theory flounders up, Ali runs in, tilt-o-whirl DDT! Cover, TWO!! Theory survives the rough landing then the rougher impact, but Ali is not losing focus yet. Ali hurries to a corner but Theory anchors a foot. Ali stomps him down then climbs back up. Fans rally but Theory trips Ali up! Theory throws haymakers, puts Ali in a Tree of Woe to the outside, and then Theory stomps away on the apron! The ref counts, Theory backs off, only to go back in for more! The ref counts as Theory stomps away. Theory finally gets in the ring, then he drags Ali up to rain down fists! Fans boo, the ref has Theory back off.

Theory snarls but then DOLPH ZIGGLER SUPERKICKS him!!!

Winner: Austin Theory, by disqualification (still WWE United States Champion)

Ali can’t believe it! Theory wins and it isn’t even because of him! Ali gets mad at Ziggler but Ziggler says his beef is with Theory. Ali and Ziggler argue now, but then Theory CLOBBERS them both! Theory rains down fists on Ziggler, then he drags Ali up to POST him! Fans chant “YOU STILL SUCK!” as Theory drags Ziggler up for A-TOWN DOWN! The Show Off cost Ali and didn’t even get the better of Theory. Will Theory stay the now and become the forever of the WWE?

 

JBL is on the phone with someone.

He’s loving this! No one could’ve put on a better poker tournament. The money is everywhere! The Miz then walks in and JBL hangs up. JBL is happy to see Miz, and Miz says there was probably a slight oversight not inviting Miz. Oh, sorry, he didn’t know Miz played cards. Miz can jump in, if he has the 50K. Right… About that… After Miz’s “financial improprieties,” he isn’t very liquid. JBL knows how crypto can be, right? But c’mon, JBL knows Miz is good for it! JBL says he’d love to, but Miz hasn’t been good at paying off debts. Everyone had cash on them. Miz can give him his Rolex! Oh, that is a nice watch… Wait. Miz does know this isn’t real, right?

What?! The second hand ticks… Miz is offended and he hurries off. Well, so much for that. Will Miz find a way to get in on the game where a certain you-know-who is playing?

 

Raw returns and we continue with the poker game.

Corbin says read ’em and weep! Four of a Kind, KINGS! The table can’t believe it, but Corbin says Lady Luck is just on his side. But as Corbin leans over to grab the pot, MORE cards fall out of his sleeve! Corbin accused Lumis and he’s the one cheating?! Corbin says he’s not a cheater, someone put those in there! Styles and Corbin start shoving! JBL stops this, he JUST said no fighting! What is wrong with all of you!? They’re ruining his tournament! Okay then. Corbin, get your gear on and bring the Alphas with you. The OC heads out, will they make Corbin pay for playing dirty? JBL shouts, “What is wrong with these idiots?!”

So… Does Lumis win his table by default? Big tip for the dealer. That was easy! Great job, man! Let’s get this stuff in the bag. Tamina sneaks a few bills for herself. Will Lumis be the big winner by the end of tonight?

 

Backstage interview with Bianca Belair.

Cathy Kelley asks the RawEST Women’s Champion that Bayley is moving on to next week’s #1 contenders match, against whoever wins the second Triple Threat. How does Bianca feel knowing Bayley will get another opportunity? What Bayley did was impressive, but Bianca knows how to handle Bayley. But Bianca would be proud to face any of the women in the Triple Threat matches, even Rhea Ripley, who could’ve handled the loss more gracefully instead of taking her frustrations out on Bianca’s girl, Asuka. Then who does Bianca see winning the second Triple Threat?

Bianca knows Alexa, Becky and Nikki are all dangerous competitors in their own right. Bianca and Alexa grew closer taking on DMG CTRL, but she knows why Alexa was once champion and running the whole division. Nikki, on the other hand, is just unpredictable that could surprise anyone at anytime. And Becky has challenged Bianca more than any rival ever, but at the end, they have to be ready for Bianca. Bianca stays ready so she doesn’t have to get ready. Will Bianca be ready for whoever it is that comes out the NEW #1 contender?

 

Six Man Tag: The OC VS Baron Corbin & The Alpha Academy!

AJ Styles and the Good Brothers may not have come out the winners against Judgment Day, but they aren’t about to let JBL’s golden boy get the better of them at poker! Will the Original, Official and ONLY Club that matters be Too Sweet in DC? Or will Chad Gable & Otis help the Modern Day Wrestling God continue his winning ways?

Raw returns as JBL leads the way for his protégé. Corbin makes his entrance, followed by “SHOOOOSH~!” The trios sort out and JBL joins commentary. Corbin and Styles start, they tie up and Corbin knees low! Corbin ROCKS Styles, CLUBS him down, then runs to run Styles over! Fans boo but Corbin soaks up the heat. Corbin drags Styles up but Styles JAWBREAKERS! Styles CHOPS and ROCKS and whips, but Corbin reverses. Styles KICKS Corbin, and hits a DDT! Styles tags Karl but Corbin gets away. Gable tags in, and Gable circles with the Machine Gun. They tie up, Gable waistlocks and spins Karl to a snapmare.

Gable pushes Karl down, facelocks, gator rolls, and he waistlocks to then get a leg. Gable ties the legs up and says, “A THANK YEW~!” Gable floats to a facelock, headlocks, but Karl fights up to power out. Gable runs Karl over, “A THANK YEW~!” Gable runs, Karl drops to then hip toss! Fans fire up as Karl tags Gallows and the Good Brothers double whip. They run Gable over, then Gallows drags Gable up. Gallows wristlocks, Gable endures and rolls to bridge and handspring. Gable spins, breaks free, then says, “SHOOOOSH~!” Gallows says, “NERD~!” They start this up again, “SHOOOSH!” “NERD!” then Gallows UPPERCUTS Gable!

Tag to Karl, Karl brings Gable out but Gable throat chops! Gable bumps Karl off buckles, tags Corbin, and Corbin mugs Karl. Corbin puts Karl in a corner, fires off hands, then tags Otis. Otis RAMS into Karl, and again, and again! Otis picks Karl up to DUMP him down, then he snarls at Gallows. Otis drags Karl around to CLUB him down! Tag to Corbin, they mug Karl, then Corbin CLUBS Karl down. Fans rally but Corbin stands Karl up. Karl ORCKS and CHOPS and ROCKS Corbin again, but Corbin shoves him away. Corbin runs in, Karl moves, but Corbin slides out to slide in and LARIAT! Cover, TWO!

Corbin argues the count but the ref defnds it was just two. Corbin shouts out JBL and JBL cheers Corbin on. Corbin stands Karl up, CLUBS him down, then throws down elbow after elbow! Gable soaks up the heat for Corbin while Otis says that’s hammer time. Fans chant at “BUM ASS CORBIN!” Corbin back suplexes Karl but Karl lands on his feet! Hot tag to Styles! Corbin rushes in but Styles ROCKS him! Styles springboards, but Corbin gets under! Styles rolls through to ELBOW Gable, BLAST Otis, and runs back at Corbin to fire off a Phenomenal Blitz! Corbin flounders, Styles runs, but Gable dumps him out!

Otis CLOBBERS Styles! Fans boo but Gable says, ‘SHOOOOSH~! A THANK YEW~!” Fans boo more but Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and the Academy stomps a mudhole into Styles! The ref counts, they let off, and Otis drags Styles up. Otis CLUBS Styles, CLUBS him again, then drags Styles up to snapmare. Otis runs to SPLASH! Styles writhes and Otis snarls. Otis drags Styles up again, tags in Corbin, and they mug Styles. Corbin ROCKS Styles with a haymaker, then throws him up and out. Styles shoulders into Corbin, slingshots up and in but Corbin DECKS Styles out of the air! Cover, TWO! Corbin rains down fists while JBL talks down on the “flippy floppy” styles. Corbin puts Styles in the corner, tag to Gable, and the mugging continues.

Gable snapmares Styles and has a mounted armlock. Gable steps over to wrench the arm, fans rally up and Styles fight sup. Styles throws haymakers and reaches out, but Gable keeps him from the Good Brothers. Styles throws more hands but Gable throws him down! Gable BLASTS Karl, then tells Gallows to “SHOOSH~!” Gable drags Styles up, reels him in but Styles back drops! Hot tag to Gallows! But the ref was busy with an angry Karl! He says Gallows isn’t legal! Gable drags Styles up, and feeds him to a DEEP SIX!! Gable covers, TWO!! Styles survives and Gable is stunned! Tag to Otis, the Alphas drag Styles up to put him in a corner.

Otis SPLASHES, then whips Styles corner to corner. Otis runs in but Styles dodges to PELE! Down goes Otis! Fans fire up as Styles crawls, hot tags to Gable and Karl! Karl rallies on Gable, scoops him and SLAMS him! Karl runs to drop a SENTON! Then he BLASTS Corbin off the apron! Gable runs in, into a BOOT! Karl goes up, FLYING NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up as Karl drags Gable up to fireman’s carry. Gable fights off, shoves, dodges, but Gable rolls to pick the leg to an ANKLE LOCK! Karl rolls to throw him away! Gable goes up, leaps, but into a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, Corbin breaks it!

Styles runs in, but into a CHOKE SLAM BACKBRAEKER! Corbin ELBOWS Gallows, puts Karl in a corner, and then he runs. Karl moves, Corbin slides out, but slides into a SLIDING FOREARM! Gallows BOOTS Corbin for good measures! Otis ROCKS Gallows, scoops him and EXPLODERS! Fans fire up as Styles PHENOMENAL FOREARMS Otis!! Gable gets in to GERMAN SUPLEX Styles! Karl waistlocks, Gable victory rolls, TWO!! Gable ROCKS Karl, Karl ROCKS Gable! ROLLING ELBOW from Gable! UPPERCUT from Karl! Both men are down and DC fires up again! Even JBL admits “This is Awesome!”

Karl crawls to tag in Gallows! Gable avoids Karl, O’Conner Rolls, but Gallows tips it over! Gallows kicks Gable, he and Anderson hit MAGIC KILLER!! Cover, The OC wins!!

Winners: The OC, by pinfall

JBL claims cheating, but he clearly missed a move or two. The OC wins fair and square, unlike Corbin. Will Styles & The Good Brothers turn their fortunes around and take over Raw?

 

Backstage interview with Candice LeRae.

Byron congratulates her on a victorious return to the ring last week, beating Dakota Kai. And because of that win, Candice has to face the other half of the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, Iyo Sky. Does Candice feel that now she’s a marked woman by DMG CTRL? Absolutely. She may be new to Raw but she’s known all those women a long time. Last week, Candice returned from an injury they were responsible for, so she had to send a message. Yes, Candice is here with burnt pixie wings, but she’s also a new mom. She has so much to fight for now. She won’t let anyone push her around. But little does she know, Nikki Cross is spying on Candice…

But then Johnny Gargano walks over to say hi to the wifey. She says hi to hubby, and how did poker go? Lumis won! He killed it! Look at all the money! WHAT THE- Uh… Sorry. Candice hates to be that person, but this is a lot of money. They’re gonna go now. What will The Garganos and Lumis do with that huge amount of money? And what is Nikki plotting for the Poison Pixie?

 

Dominik Mysterio w/ The Judgment Day VS Akira Tozawa!

The rebellious son of Rey Mysterio thinks Raw belongs to him now, but pretty much everyone outside the Judgment Day disagrees. Will the Stamina Monster prove Dom can’t do whatever he wants? Or will he end up just another victim?

The bell rings and Dom circles with Tozawa. Tozawa dodges Dom to SOBAT, but Dom ducks the spin kick! Tozawa slides under to ROLLING ELBOW! Dom staggers, Tozawa whips, but Dom stops. They kick each other, Tozawa fires off more hands, then he whips Dom to a corner. Dom reverses, runs in, but Tozawa boots him away. Tozawa goes up, leaps and RANAS Dom to the other side! Fans fire up with Tozawa but Dom stays back. Dom wants mercy, but then he YANKS Tozawa into buckles! Dom stomps a mudhole into Tozawa and the Judgment Day cheers while fans boo. Dom drags Tozawa up to snap suplex! Uno Amigo!

Fans boo as Dom snap suplexes again, Dos Amigos! Dom gives some Latino Heat before THREE AMIGOS! Cover, ONE!! Fans rally but Dom clamps on with a chinlock. Tozawa fights up but Dom CLUBS him. Dom whips, Tozawa pops up to RANA again! And then SHINING WIZARD! Cover, TWO!! Dom survives and Judgment Day gets worried. Tozawa CLUBS Dom, whips, but Dom reverses. Tozawa BOOTS Dom down, then waits on Dom to get up. Roll-up, BUZZSAW! Dom is dazed, Tozawa drags him to a drop zone. Fans fire up as Tozawa climbs! Rhea shouts at Dom to get moving, Tozawa leaps! SUPER SENTON FLOPS as Dom moves!

Rhea and the Judgment Day laugh, Dom drags Tozawa into a drop zone. Dom climbs up now, gives Latino Heat before the FROG SPLASH! Cover, Dom wins!

Winner: Dominik Mysterio, by pinfall

The Judgment Day is proud of their boy, but Dom drags Tozawa up. Fans boo but here come the Street Profits! Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins rush out to run the Judgment Day off. Finn, Dom, Priest & Rhea don’t sweat the Profits, but will they cross paths down the road all the same?

 

Adam Pearce finds Bobby Lashley backstage.

Pearce tells Lashley they need to talk about what happened earlier tonight. Lashley can’t hit one of Pearce’s officials. That Spear damn near cut Pete Williams in half. Lashley chuckles but then sees Pearce is serious. Yes, he’s serious! It’s a problem that they can’t have happen. Now, Pearce knows it was an accident, he was there to see it. He’s not going to punish Lashley or take away the #1 contender’s match. But if it happens again… Or what, Pearce? Well, put yourself in his position. If it happens again, Pearce’s hands are tied, and he doesn’t want it to happen. Lashley says if one of the cronies gets in the lion’s den and gets mauled by a lion, the lion gets punished?

No, that’s not what he means. Pearce knows this was an accident, but he just wants Lashley to be careful not to have another one. Then make sure no one stands in Lashley’s way. Lashley leaves, will he be able to focus on just Rollins next week?

 

Triple Threat: Becky Lynch VS Alexa Bliss VS Nikki Cross!

The Man made a big time promise, but she has to make it through both the Five Foot Fury and the No Longer a Superhero. Bayley awaits the winner, who is heading to Milwaukee for that #1 contenders match?

Raw returns and Becky makes her entrance. The bell rings and fans fire up, and Nikki swings her jacket around all wild. She shoves Becky, shoves Alexa, but then Becky throat jabs her! Alexa SHOTGUNS Nikki and Nikki flounders out of the ring! Becky waves bye, and then circles with Alexa. Fans rally for Becky but Alexa gets around her to waistlock. Becky bucks that, runs in but Alexa side steps to jump, into a FLAPJACK! Becky steps over but Alexa rolls her up, TWO! Becky sweeps and covers, TWO! Alexa trips to jackknife, but Becky bridges up! Becky spins Alexa around, backslides, TWO!

Becky avoids a sweep but not the CHPO! Snapmare, cover, TWO as Becky goes Matrix! Becky mule kicks Alexa, dropkicks Nikki off the apron, and then turns around, into a clinch! You don’t think…?! But Becky fights out of that to clinch back, only for Alexa to wheelbarrow and victory roll! TWO, Alexa hurries to wrench and STO! Fans fire up while Becky clutches her head. Alexa storms up to drop knees! But Nikki stops Insult2Injury to throw Alexa onto Becky! Nikki then grins as she watches both women crawl. Nikki runs at one corner to SPLASH Alexa! Then she SPLASHES Becky! Then SPLASHES Alexa! Then back to Becky!

Nikki keeps going but Alexa dodges! Becky uses Alexa as a step, BIG TIME IN MOTION! Becky fires forearms and stomps a mudhole into Nikki, then JUMP KICKS! And then she JUMP KICKS Alexa! Becky reels Nikki in for a BECKSPLODER! Nikki flounders away but Alexa storms up. Alexa SLAPS Becky, ROCKS her, then KNEES her, then SHOTGUNS her down! Fans fire up as Alexa runs in at the corner, but Becky dodges the double knees! Alexa blocks the jump kick this time, puts Becky on the apron, but Becky ROCKS Alexa! Becky brings Alexa over to bump her off buckles! Becky throws Alexa down, but Nikki trips Becky!

Nikki dribbles Becky’s face off the apron! Nikki growls, then RAMS Becky into steel steps! Alexa leaps off those steps, but Nikki blocks the DDT to RAM Alexa into the apron! Then THE PURGE to the floor! Nikki fires up and she pulls the desk apart! DC fires up as she clears it off, chugs water and splashes it all around! Nikki laughs and flails around while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Nikki thrashes Alexa around before clamping on a chinbar half nelson combo. Alexa endures, claws at the hold, fights up and fans rally. Alexa throws body shots but Nikki throws her down! Nikki laughs at Alexa and wraps her up in a straitjacket stretch. Alexa endures again, even as Nikki grinds her into the mat. Alexa kicks around, Nikki keeps her down, and fans rally up. Alexa fights to her feet and throws body shots. Alexa ROCKS Nikki with forearm after forearm but Nikki shoves her away. Nikki kicks, ties her up, STRAITJACKET NECKBREAKER! But Becky CLOBBERS Nikki with flying forearms!

Fans fire up as Becky rocks and uppercuts and SOBATS Nikki, then repeats the process! Fans fire up more and Becky blocks a kick to sweep the legs! She rolls Nikki to then hit a BULLDOG! Becky puts Nikki in a corner, KICKS her in the back and hits an STO! Nikki flounders in the drop zone and Becky goes up. Fans fire up for the MAN’s LEG DROP! Cover, TWO!! Becky is amused that Nikki survives, and fans rally up. Becky eggs Nikki on. “You wanna be crazy? Get the hell up!” Becky slaps and CLUBS Nikki, then reels her in. Nikki fights the clinch, Becky shoves her away to try again, BECKSPLODER!

But Alexa returns to SOBAT! Alexa reels Becky in but Becky wrenches out! Becky has the arm but Alexa denies the takedown and puts Becky on the apron. Becky ROCKS Alexa, Nikki grabs at her but Becky kicks her away. Alexa POSTS Becky! Becky falls, Alexa to the apron to CANNONBALL Nikki and Becky together! Fans fire up as Alexa drags Nikki up and puts her in. Alexa hurries to cover, TWO! Alexa grows frustrated but she drags Nikki around to a drop zone. Alexa stomps Nikki on her way to the corner. Alexa climbs up, but Becky grabs at her. Alexa kicks Becky away but Nikki trips Alexa! Nikki climbs, she and Alexa brawl!

Nikki brings Alexa up but Becky joins in! TOWER OF DOOM!! Cover on Nikki, TWO!! All three women are down from that powerbomb superplex combo, and Alexa crawls her way out of the ring. Fans rally and Becky drags herself up. Becky stalks Nikki, she ROCKS Nikki but Nikki ROCKS Becky! They go forearm for forearm and fans fire up as Becky gets the edge! But Nikki headbutts low, then throat chops! Nikki runs in but is put on the apron! Nikki ROCKS Becky, climbs up top, and CROSSBODIES! Cover, Alexa breaks it in time!! Nikki is fuming, but Alexa drags Nikki up. Nikki RAMS Alexa into the corner! And again, and again!

Nikki keeps on Alexa with a mudhole stomp and a SPLASH, to a BULLDOG! Nikki storms back up on Alexa but Alexa ROCKS Nikki with a right! Alexa tosses Nikki out of the ring, catches her breath and runs, but Nikki stops the dropkick! Alexa and Nikki brawl more, Nikki shoves Alexa and CROSSBODIES her against the apron! Nikki drags Alexa up and puts her in the ring. Nikki drags Alexa up through the ropes, but Alexa fights with body shots! They brawl, Alexa SLAPS Nikki but Nikki HEADBUTTS Alexa! Nikki drags Alexa out onto the ropes, but Becky is up top! THE MAN’S LEG DROP DDT COMBO!!! Becky hurries to cover Alexa, TWO!!!

Becky can’t believe it but Alexa survives! Alexa flops out of the ring now, leaving Becky and Nikki alone. Nikki crawls to the apron but Becky goes out after her! Becky clinches, but Nikki fights it! Nikki holds the ropes as Becky waistlocks! Becky keeps trying but Nikki elbows her away. Nikki knees low, then reels Becky in! Fans fire up as Becky fights the lift! Becky fights free, clinches Nikki, APRON MANHANDLE SLAM!!! Becky shoves Nikki in, but DMG CTRL rushes out there!! Kai & Sky drag Becky away from the cover!! Fans boo as they mug Becky! Dakota RAMS her into the apron!

But Becky fights back with forearms and elbows! Dakota blocks a boot and Iyo helps haul her up! They bring Becky around, DOUBLE POWERBOMB through the announce desk!!! Fans lose their minds, but Alexa hits TWISTED BLISS!! Cover, Alexa wins!!!

Winner: Alexa Bliss, by pinfall (advances to next week)

DMG CTRL screwed Becky over big time! Is Bayley that afraid to face The Man 1v1? Will Alexa make Bayley regret it by taking that golden ticket from her instead?


My Thoughts:

A pretty good Raw here, but I guess with no RawDown event between now and The Royal Rumble, they’re really having to stretch builds out. That said, we got some great Triple Threats to get a lot of the women’s roster going tonight. Pretty good promo from Becky and Bayley, though maybe a little awkwardly paced. I don’t know if they were trying to pad for time or they only had a loose idea of what they were to say, but this is all just to set up the feud we knew was coming. Both Triple Threats were awesome, but I should’ve known DMG CTRL would screw Becky. Alexa VS Bayley will be a great match but I would think Bayley loses. We can’t have Bianca VS Bayley again so soon, and there’s a lot of great story for Alexa and Bianca to use.

Rhea going after Asuka after the loss was also an interesting detail. I suppose Rhea and Asuka can feud to bide their time. Bianca and Rhea are surely going to have a feud of their own soon, and it makes all the sense for Street Profits to join in on that. They come to Tozawa’s rescue, we’re getting a Six Man Tag of that first, but then we can bring Bianca and Rhea around into another big Mixed 8 like we saw for Judgment Day VS OC. Speaking of that, why didn’t Dom VS Tozawa happen before OC VS Corbin & Alpha Academy? They left the JBL Poker Invitational first, they should’ve been dressed and ready to go first.

And speaking of the Poker Invitational, those were a pretty fun handful of segments, but I feel like it all fell apart way too soon. Corbin should’ve won one table, Lumis wins the other, and then the final showdown is the set-up to the Six Man Tag. Miz trying to get in and failing was kinda funny, especially with JBL exposing Miz having a fake Rolex. It was a very subtle way to say Miz isn’t done with Lumis, and I’m still thinking we’re getting Miz & Maryse VS Indi & Dexter at some point. Hell, we could even get Miz & Maryse VS Gargano & Candice after that fun little interaction where Candice couldn’t believe that Lumis won such a huge haul. Also Nikki stalking Candice, that’s an interesting story in the works.

Great stuff out of the US Championship scene, but I guess they couldn’t have Ali lose legit. Ziggler looks like a jerk, but maybe we’re building to something huge for the US title. Ali and Ziggler probably fight each other for sure, maybe we see some kind of ladder match for the title by the time Rumble comes around. We also got great stuff out of Rollins and Lashley, from the promo to the brawl to Pearce more or less warning Lashley. Rollins plays the line of Face and Heel with how he was poking at Lashley with the Lesnar loss. Lashley’s temper could be what costs him against Rollins, and then Rollins faces Theory for the title before the year is over, and who knows how that goes.

And what a wild start to the night. I didn’t think the tag title match was going to be first, but that gave it a lot of time to breathe. Great little way to sub Elias out to keep Kevin Owens in the story, and Solo just going nuts on Riddle with all those Umaga references was wild. Riddle being sidelined is a clever way to delay Elias going after him. But then a bit of a shame that McIntyre isn’t cleared for right now. Dunne is going to have a great part of the match now, but I think he also takes the loss for his team so Sheamus isn’t hurt too much. They’re taking a long game approach to things, I like that, and we’ll see some good stuff in building towards Sheamus VS Roman for the Rumble.

My Score: 8.6/10


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