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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (5/25/22)

Happy Anniversary, AEW!

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AEW Dynamite 2021

It’s the three-year anniversary of All Elite Wrestling!

And with Double or Nothing this Sunday, Hangman Adam Page and CM Punk have one last face-to-face! Will they keep it civil? Or will they start throwing hands before their AEW World Championship match?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Steel Cage, MJF as Special Guest Referee: Wardlow VS Shawn Spears; Wardlow wins and will face MJF at Double or Nothing.
  • Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston VS Private Party; Moxley & Kingston win.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: FTR VS Roppongi Vice; FTR wins, by disqualification, and are still ROH World Tag Team Champions.
  • Triple Threat: Jungle Boy VS Ricky Starks VS Swerve Strickland; Swerve wins.
  • Owen Hart Foundation Women’s Tournament Opening Round: Britt Baker VS Toni Storm; Baker wins and advances to the finals.
  • Owen Hart Foundation Men’s Tournament Semifinals: Samoa Joe VS Kyle O’Reilly; Joe wins and advances to the finals.

PLAY BY PLAY

Steel Cage, MJF as Special Guest Referee: Wardlow VS Shawn Spears!

The final hurdle is here! If the War Dog can get through the Chair Man inside this cage, he’ll get Maxwell Jacob Friedman at Double or Nothing! But of course, stacking the deck as always, MJF is going to be the officiator in this match, wearing his own custom referee shirt. He claims he’ll call this right down the middle, but will MJF make sure Spears slays the giant and saves him from certain doom on Sunday?

Once again, Wardlow is in cuffs while being escorted to the ring. Fans chant, “WARD~LOW!” the whole way, and Wardlow steps inside the steel. MJF says he’s got those cuffs, as soon as he does the pat down. Wardlow is clean, but MJF “misplaced” the key. Fans boo, because they know this is just another way to rig this match! Spears attacks Wardlow outta nowhere, and MJF has the bell ring! Spears stomps, CLUBS and then throws body shots and more stomps. MJF whistles and has Spears back down, because he “found” the key. But then MJF stomps away on Wardlow, too! MJF knows Wardlow can’t attack him because that’ll violate the match contract!

Spears CLOBBERS Wardlow, stomps him, and MJF smirks. Wardlow gets up but elbows Spears away! Then BOOTS him! But MJF rakes Wardlow’s eyes! Fans boo but MJF eggs them on. Spears drags Wardlow up in the gap between ropes and steel, and both he and MJF run to RAM Wardlow into steel! MJF and Spears high-ten and then soak up the heat. Fans taunt Spears with “TEN! TEN! TEN!” and Spears brings the kneepad down. But Wardlow back drops Spears away! And BOOTS him! MJF stares Wardlow down because again, he can’t be touched. Wardlow endures the taunting, even as MJF SPITS in his face!

But then Wardlow BREAKS the cuffs on his own!? Wardlow CLOBBERS Spears over and over, THROWS him into the steel, then drags him up to TOSS him into more steel! Fans tell MJF he F’d up, but Spears HOTSHOTS Wardlow! Fans boo as Spears hurries up a corner, but Wardlow is after him! Wardlow won’t let Spears escape, he CUBS Spears over and over, then throws him down! Wardlow adjusts on the top rope to SWANTON BOMB! Cover, but of course MJF doesn’t count. Wardlow realizes he should’ve known better. Fans chant, “Ref, You Suck!” but MJF doesn’t care. He’s untouchable in this match! But Wardlow stepping closer does scare him…

Wardlow gets Spears up, but MJF LOW BLOWS him! Spears hurries to fireman’s carry, C4!! Cover, MJF is ready, TWO!! MJF went as fast as humanly possible and Wardlow still got out! Not only that, Spears realizes his finisher juts got buried! Fans chant for “WARD~LOW!” as he stirs, but Spears goes outside the cage to get his chair! This non-escape cage match has to end in the ring but Spears brings in his insurance policy! MJF holds Wardlow up for Spears, and Spears winds up, but Wardlow moves! CHAIRSHOT TO MJF!! Wardlow didn’t need to touch MJF to get even with him! And now Spears is stunned as fans chant that he F’d up!

Spears then realizes Wardlow is standing back up. Spears turns around, Wardlow brings the straps down! Spears is now wishing escape was a way to win. Wardlow gets Spears up, POWERBOMB! But that’s just one! Here’s another POWERBOMB! And then a third POWERBOMB! The Powerbomb Symphony has the fans rocking, and a spare ref runs in! Wardlow sets up Spears’ chair, gets Spears back up, and fans are thunderous! Wardlow reels Spears in again, POWERBOMB ON THE CHAIR!! Cover, Wardlow wins!!

Winner: Wardlow, by pinfall (WILL face MJF at Double or Nothing)

Wardlow got even with Spears, but now he wants MJF! Security rushes in but Wardlow DECKS each of them one at a time! There’s almost no end to these guys, but Wardlow gets that last one with a kick! Wardlow reels this guy in, gets him up, and BOMBS him against the cage!! The man falls into the gap, never to be seen again! Wardlow then climbs up the cage just to make a point that MJF can’t hold him back anymore! Is Wardlow not only going to win his freedom from MJF, but rid AEW of MJF once and for all?

 

AEW’s heart goes out to Uvalde, Texas.

After the tragedy of the school shooting, all any of us can really do is love each other and pray violence stops.

 

The Jericho Appreciation Society walks ‘n’ talks.

Daniel Garcia tells Blackpool Combat Club, Eddie Kingston, Santana & Ortiz that this Sunday, Double or Nothing, Anarchy in the Arena, the JAS shows you how violent sports entertainers can really be. But then hold on, who is this bozo wearing a Moxley shirt? Menard and Parker get in this guy’s face. Good quality shirt. Is this polyester? Parker asks if he wants a taste of his switchblade… comb. Y’know what happens when you’re a Moxley fan? FIREBALL from Jericho!! The Wizard strikes again! Will the JAS show no mercy to anyone who isn’t on their side?

 

Tony Schiavone is in the ring.

As we celebrate three years of AEW where it all began in Las Vegas, Nevada, we have the biggest AEW World Championship match ever on the biggest night ever, Double or Nothing. And the challenger is the Best in the World, CM PUNK! Fans fire up as Punk makes his entrance! And he sits cross-legged on the stage while he rallies the fans to get louder. Punk continues down to the ring and fans chant his name. Schiavone then introduces the other half of this face-to-face, the AEW World Champion, HANGMAN ADAM PAGE! Fans fire up again as the Cowboy makes his way out, belt on his shoulder.

Hangman joins Punk and Schiavone in the ring and Schiavone says these last few weeks, both men have joined commentary and watched the other go to work. Hangman’s used Go To Sleep, Punk’s used the Buckshot, and there’s been a lot of talk and now, for the first time, they’re standing here for a face-to-face interview. Schiavone starts with Punk, saying Punk is prepared for Double or Nothing and becoming the next AEW World Champion. Punk has a mixed reaction from Vegas but with plenty of fans chanting his name. Punk says it is safe to say, “the biggest moment of my career happened right here in Las Vegas.”

Punk is grateful to be in the position he is in, loves the fans all over the world, and plans to walk in challenger, and respectfully walk out the champion. Schiavone now goes to Hangman and says Hangman knows just who he is facing, what everyone knows about CM Punk, but this confidence level is off the charts for the challenger. Fans also have a mixed reaction for Hangman, and still plenty chanting, “COWBOY S*IT!” Hangman says he said exactly what he was going to do to Punk, and did he stutter? “There is nothing that you can do to me to take this championship away from me!”

Schiavone says this is a determined champion, but Punk says he isn’t so sure why Hangman takes this personally. Hangman is a champion because he is Hangman Adam Page, the toughest SOB in AEW, and he holds that gold for a reason. But there is a locker room full of people just like Punk waiting for their shot. This is just business. It’s Punk’s shot, it’s not personal. Schiavone says there seems to be respect here, but Hangman takes the mic to say, “I said three weeks ago exactly what I was going to do to you. I said I was going to destroy you. I said I was going to annihilate you, to embarrass you. And I did not mean at Double or Nothing. I meant right now.”

Punk smirks and says, “Okay,” as Hangman says he’s been waiting for this moment not just weeks, but for months. Hangman has imagined himself sitting on the stage, cross-legged, and he’d pull out a lighter to light a pipe bomb and roll it down to Punk’s feet and watch it blow up in Punk’s face! How cathartic it would feel, and how full circle for Punk, right here in Vegas. But now that we’re here… Hangman realizes that he just can’t do it. He can’t. Not because he’s afraid he’d get fired or because he’s afraid of Punk. But when Hangman thought about what he wanted to say, he realized it’s just what Punk would do.

And fighting Punk’s hatred, pettiness and cowardice with more of the same would not be the right thing to do. But Hangman will say face-to-face, man-to-man, how he feels about Punk. “I don’t hate you. I almost pity you. And I have no respect for you and what you’ve done since you’ve gotten here. You want this AEW World Championship? I don’t think you understand what it means to be a champion. After all these years, I don’t think you get it. Because it’s not just about what happens in this ring, it’s about what happens when that red light turns off. What happens when you go back through that curtain. Those small, quiet moments when you think no one’s watching. That’s what makes a champion.”

Hangman says Punk talks a big game about worker’s rights, but has shown the exact opposite since getting here. Hangman loves this place, cares about this place, this is his home! And at Double or Nothing, Hangman will not be defending this title against Punk. For the first time in Hangman’s life, he will be defending ALL ELITE WRESTLING from Punk! Fans fire up hearing that one! Hangman then offers the mic to Schiavone and he takes it back. Punk’s response is he doesn’t get why Hangman’s so angry and taking this personally. “It makes me a little bit confused. You’re kinda talking in circles, it’s a big riddle, but if you’re so upset that I’m here, you’re gonna have to do something about it on Sunday.

“Win, lose or draw, I respect you, Hangman. But remember, those roads you traveled to get here? They were paved by me. This house that you built? It was constructed with lumber from trees that I chopped down. The world you traveled to get here, to create All Elite Wrestling, happened because I gave you the blueprint. You will shake my hand Sunday. Y’know what, Hangman, you’re gonna shake my hand right now.” Punk holds out his hand, fans are a bit torn, and Punk says all this misplaced anger isn’t for Punk, it’s for Hangman himself. Now shake his hand. Hangman says no thanks, so Punk shoves him. And Hangman DECKS Punk!

Fans fire up as Punk is rather shocked by that move. But he also smiles, perhaps getting exactly what he wanted. Hangman scowls and storms off, will he have a better poker face when it’s Double or Nothing?

 

AEW looks closer at the coming TBS Championship rematch.

The Queenslayer made the save for Statlander on Rampage, but Jade Cargill asks, “Anna Who?” The girl she already beat? But Anna says she doesn’t get all the extra BS, like the lights and the pyro and the Baddies Section. Jade already beat dat ass, but Jay thinks she deserves another shot? Jay says after her lose, she learned from some of the best on the roster. Now, she’s ready to beat the best and be TBS Champion. Double or Nothing, Jade says you put all your money on her because she is nothing but money. Will #ThatBitchShow just get even bigger and better? Or will Number 99 be the one in 30-1?

 

The Jericho Appreciation Society heads to the ring!

William Regal is already on commentary as Jericho leads Parker, Menard, Garcia and Jake Hager out. But Jericho has the music cut so the fans can’t sing Judas. Vegas, you don’t have what it takes to sing that song, so sit down and shut up! No singing for Vegas! The JAS then also goes to commentary, because they’re going to watch this next match.

Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston VS Private Party!

The Maniac & The Mad King team up together again to prepare for Double or Nothing, and enter from the crowd! Bryan Danielson would’ve been here but he got his leg trapped between ramp and ring on Rampage last Friday. But will Marq Quen & Isiah Kassidy end up appetizers for the violent appetites of Blackpool Combat Club and their allies? Or will the AFO’s party boys do the dirty work for JAS?

The second Quen & Kassidy make their entrance, there’s a brawl at the ramp! Kingston hammers Kassidy and Moxley has Quen! Moxley bumps Quen off buckles and the bell rings to get this on record! Moxley stomps a mudhole, fans are fired up as Kingston RAMS Kassidy into steel steps! Moxley rains down fists on Quen, then he BITES Quen on the head! Kingston brings out a table?! Moxley whips Quen corner to corner but Quen BOOTS him and QUEBRADAS! Cover, ONE!! Quen gets Moxley up, wrenches, but Moxley rolls and wrenches back to hammerlock and SLEEPER! Tag to Kingston and fans fire up!

Kingston and Moxley mug Quen, Kingston HEADBUTTS Quen, then POWERBOMBS Quen down! Kingston paces, drags Quen back up, and he says he can do what Moxley can do. Kingston underhooks Quen, is that a PARADIGM SHIFT!? Kingston kicks Quen around, fishhooks the face, then drags Quen over to tag Moxley. Moxley whips Kingston in to SPLASH Quen, then Moxley clotheslines! Moxley feeds Quen to an STO! Moxley then drags Quen up, scoops him, but Quen slips off! Quen dodges to PELE! Tag to Kassidy, but Moxley blocks a kick and spins Kassidy, only for the DRAGON WHIP to come around!

Private Party DOUBLE DROPKICK Moxley to a corner, Kassidy runs in to back elbow! Kassidy sets up, Quen hits PARTY IN MOTION! Quen then sets up, Kassidy swaggers and runs, but Moxley CLOBBERS him! Kingston drags Quen out, Moxley gets Kassidy up, X-PLEX! Kingston hits an EXPLODER on Quen! Vegas fires up as Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Moxley drags Kassidy up, throws him out, and then goes out after him. Moxley RAMS Kassidy into railing, Kingston does the same to Quen on the other side. Kingston brings a chair over, Kassidy throws hands on Moxley, but Kingston stands on Quen. The ref reprimands Kingston, and stops him from using the chair. Kassidy whips but Moxley reverses and Kassidy hits railing hard! Quen kicks Kingston back, but Moxley RAMS Kassidy into steel steps! Kingston RAMS Quen into more railing! Moxley drags Kassidy back up and puts him in the ring. Moxley drags Kassidy around while Kingston CHOKES Quen with camera cords!

Moxley stomps Kassidy, has the legs, TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Kassidy endures while Kingston brings Quen up. Moxley shifts to an Indian Deathlock STF while Kingston RAMS Quen into more railing! Kassidy endures, Kingston gets a drink of water, then he SPLASHES Quen with the bottle! Kassidy gets free of the STF but swings into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Moxley drags Kassidy back up, waistlocks, GERMAN SUPLEX! Dynamite returns to single picture and Moxley drags Kassidy off the ropes. Moxley half nelsons but Kassidy resists the suplex! Kassidy elbows free, reaches out, but Moxley keeps him from Quen!

Kassidy SCREW HIGH KICKS Moxley, tags Quen, SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE! Then he sucker punches Kingston! Quen runs, flapjack dropkicks Moxley down! Moxley and Kingston regroup. Quen FLIES and takes out Kingston! Kassidy TORNILLOS to take out Moxley! Private Party puts Moxley in and Kassidy hurries, but is put in a corner. Kassidy BOOTS Moxley, leaps, FLYING STUNNER! Quen is up top now, he SHOOTING STAR PRESSES! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives but Quen tags Kassidy. Kassidy springboards in but Moxley dodges. Kassidy comes back, Moxley sends him at Quen, SILLY STRING- NO! Moxley powers out to LARIAT Kassidy!

Kingston rushes in to URAKEN Quen! Kingston has Quen in the STRETCH PLUM, Moxley rains down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS on Kassidy!! Quen is tapping, Kassidy is a ragdoll! Moxley finishes Kassidy with PARADIGM SHIFT!! Cover, Moxley & Kingston win!

Winners: Jon Moxley & Eddie Kingston, by pinfall

The JAS rush the ring but Kingston goes at them first! Moxley, too! Hager RAMS Moxley into the apron, Jericho and Menard help out, but here come Santana & Ortiz! And even Bryan with his beat up leg! It’s chaos already as they brawl around ringside! Refs try to stop this but fans want to “LET THEM FIGHT!” Jericho SMACKS Kingston with a chair! Menard and Bryan claw at each other, Jericho gets in the ring and soaks up the heat like his side’s already won. But Bryan gets in the ring to go after him! Jericho kicks the bad leg! Parker helps stomp Bryan, and then the JAS undoes railing so they can leave through the crowd! If this is how it was tonight, how much more insane will it get at Double or Nothing?

 

AEW takes a closer look at the Owen Hart Cup.

Mark Henry says watching all the competition in these tournaments, he is sure Owen would be so proud. Toni Storm says just a few months ago, she thought she was out of wrestling for good. But now she is this close to the finals. Britt Baker vows to defeat Storm and win the tournament at Double or Nothing to prove once again she is the best. Kyle O’Reilly tells Samoa Joe, Double or Nothing will be an Undisputed Elite finals. But Joe ponders the question, “How do you beat someone like Kyle O’Reilly? A submission aficionado, a striking prodigy.” But like all fancy things, you just place it on the anvil and break it. And when Joe is down with Kyle, he’s coming for Adam Cole, BAYBAY.

 

ROH World Tag Team Championships: FTR VS Roppongi Vice!

As if a three year anniversary isn’t big enough, Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood defend one of their two world tag titles against a team that’s been all over the world, but still hungry for more. Will FTR stay #TwoBeltTopGuys? Or will Rocky Romero & Trent Beretta not just be kings but champions of the night?

The introductions are made by Bobby Cruz, tensions rise but the ref keeps the peace. The ROH belts are raised, and we see if RPG Vice hits the jackpot here in Vegas!

Cash starts against Rocky and fans rally, “F T R! F T R!” Cash and Rocky circle, approach, and Rocky KICKS Cash’s leg. Cash shakes that off and ties up with Rocky. Rocky waistlocks but Cash wrenches and wristlocks. Rocky rolls, wrenches back, hammerlocks, but Cash slips around to hammerlock back. Cash really clamps it on but Rocky drop toeholds and headlocks. Cash rolls to a cover, ONE! Rocky holds on, Cash fights up, and powers out. Rocky runs Cash over! Things speed up, Rocky runs Cash over again! Rocky KICKS Cash, brings him up, CHOPS and runs, but Cash hurdles to run Rocky over!

They keep moving, Cash hurdles but Rocky deflects the dropkick! Rocky gets the arms, GEDO CLUTCH! TWO! Cash goes for a leg, Rocky turns that around to a backslide, TWO! Cash runs in, but into an ARMBAR TAKEDOWN! Fans fire up, Cash rolls to the ropes! Cash gets out, fans fire up and Rocky shows off some of that Latino Heat swag. Cash gets up and in, fans rally up, and Cash tags Dax. Rocky tags Trent, and now Dax and Trent stare down. They tie up, Dax headlocks, Trent powers up and out. Dax runs Trent over, things keep moving, and Trent gets up. Dax slides under but Trent CHOPS him! Dax staggers to a corner, Trent CHOPS back!

Dax turns it around, CHOPS and CHOPS, but Trent CHOPS back! Dax CHOPS, Trent kicks low! Trent stalks Dax to a corner, whips him corner to corner hard and Dax staggers. Dax still back elbows then snap suplexes! Tag to Cash, Dax gives him the boost for a BIG leg drop! Cover, TWO! Cash brings Trent up, but Trent blocks this suplex to suplex back. Cash slips out, waistlocks, but Rocky tags in before the O’Conner Roll! Rocky KICKS Cash, kicks again but Cash blocks! Cash ducks the enziguri but not the HEEL KICK, and Trent gets Cash with a HALF ‘N’ HALF! Rocky hurries to cover, ROPEBREAK!!

Fans fire up while Dynamite goes picture in picture. Rocky stomps Cash, drags him up and CHOPS him to the corner. Cash CHOPS back, CHOPS with his left hand, but Rocky blocks the third chop! Rocky wrenches, ELBOW BREAKER, and a KICK to the arm! Rocky drags Cash around, snapmares him down, and tags in Trent. Trent slingshot sentons, covers, TWO! Trent clamps onto Cash with a top wristlock but Cash clasps hands. Cash fights up, gets around to push Trent towards the corner but Trent digs in his heels. Cash scoops and SLAMS! Both men crawl, hot tag to Rocky! Rocky runs and dropkicks Dax down!

Rocky stomp Cash, then drags him up to throw forearms! Snapmare and basement dropkick! Rocky clamps onto Cash with a chinlock and grinds him down. Cash endures, fights up, reaches out, but Rocky holds on. Cash atomic drops Rocky and gets free! Rocky tags Trent and Trent CLUBS Cash down! Trent hauls Cash up, CHOPS him, but Cash CHOPS back! Trent knees low, tags Rocky back in, and RPG Vice double suplex! Cover, TWO! Rocky clamps back on with another chinlock as Dynamite returns to single picture. Fans rally, Cash moves around, gets around, BIG back suplex! Both men are down again and fans fire up!

Rocky and Cash crawl, hot tag to Trent and he keeps Cash from Dax! Cash hops up, reaches out, Trent pulls him away, but Cash fights through to hot tag Dax! Dax ducks Trent’s haymaker to JAB, JAB, JAB and DECK Trent! Rocky runs in, Dax rallies on him, too! Dax CHOPS Trent in a corner, uppercuts, CHOPS, repeat! Rocky returns but Dax DECKS him now! Dax whips, Trent reverses and Dax hits buckles hard! Dax falls back, Trent drags Dax up to whip, but Dax reverses! Trent ducks the clothesline to get around and GERMAN SUPLEX! Trent holds on, another GERMAN SUPLEX! Dax switches to GERMAN SUPLEX back!

Dax holds on, he GERMAN SUPLEXES Trent again! Trent grabs ropes to deny the hat trick! Dax CLUBS Trent, Trent elbows Dax! Trent swings, Dax dodges, GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, but Rocky DOUBLE STOMPS it apart! Trent hurries, tag to Rocky! Rocky KICKS Dax in the bad side, then ROCKS him and suplexes! Dax slips out, slips under, but Trent tags in before the atomic drop! Dax still elbows Trent, runs, but into a DOUBLE JUMP KNEE! Fans fire up and Rocky hurries after Cash to DECK him! Trent brings Dax up, hangs him out to dry, then Rocky goes up! Missile dropkick! Trent hits the SLIDING KNEE! Cover, TWO!!

Dax survives and RPG Vice can’t believe it! Trent says they’ll finish this, and fans duel. Rocky goes up as Trent Alabama Lifts, but Cash trips Rocky up! Trent dumps Dax to DECK Cash, but Dax cradles Trent! TWO!! Dax scoops but Trent cradles, TWO!! Dax pops Trent up but Trent victory Rolls, TWO!! Both men bob ‘n’ weave, Dax fakes Trent out but Trent fights off the Piledriver! Trent gets Dax back up and tucks him in, Rocky is back up top! STRONG ZERO!!! Cover, Cash barrels into Rocky to break it!! Wait, wait, is that the UNITED EMPIRE rushing down the ramp?! The IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions, Great-O-Khan and Jeff Cobb, are here!?!

Khan & Cobb get in the ring and they CLOBBER EVERYONE!

Winners: FTR, by disqualification (still the ROH World Tag Team Champions)

Khan throws Trent out, Cobb throws Cash out, and then Khan MONGOLIAN CHOPS Rocky! Dax is alone and the fans are losing their minds! Cobb gets Dax up, Khan runs, IMPERIAL DROP!! Khan then feeds Rocky to a TOUR OF THE ISLANDS!! The United Empire still isn’t done, they mug Dax, then clear off the timekeeper’s table! GUT WRENCH POWERBOMB through the table!! Khan gets another table, and he drags Trent over. IRON CLAW, and then he goes up the steps! ELIMINATOR through the table!! They then grab the ROH World Tag Team Championships and hold them up high. Will the United Empire conquer not just NJPW but AEW and the world?!

 

The Hardy Boyz speak.

Matt tells the Young Bucks that their stories both began with a lot of similarities. They were all born and raised by wholesome, religious parents. They had innocent upbringings where they didn’t smoke or drink. They didn’t even curse! And they all had dreams of becoming pro-wrestlers. But that’s where the parallels end. The Hardys broke into the business in the early 90s, and it was a different industry back then, and a majorly different culture. The brutal, tough roads the Hardys had to walk, the Bucks could never, EVER have survived! The Bucks don’t have the grit, the resilience that these two have. The Hardys no only survived, but they became a revolutionary tag team.

Sure, the Bucks are talented, are Elite, but let’s call it like it is. When the Hardys look at the Bucks, and even when the fans look at the Bucks, all they see are Hardy Boy cosplayers! The reason the Hardys are here in AEW is to cement their legacies as the GOATs of tag team wrestling. Jeff says that was GR-E-E-E-E-EAT. Get it? Goats? But they’re not a team in their prime, they’re a team in their OVERPRIME, and it is overtime! The pressure is on to win. This is a clean slate for Jeff, it is his time approaching the eventual time. But this final run will be the best run!

So at Double or Nothing, the Bucks are just two little stepping stones on the Hardys’ way to becoming AEW World Tag Team Champions to complete the collection! And if the Bucks think they’re in their prime, well, they will NEVER be better than the Hardys! The Hardys have been better at every stage of life! Better as babies, as kids, as teenagers, at their peak, and right here and now even as middle-aged and extreme! The Bucks may be elite, but this is the DELETE! They will DELETE the Bucks this Sunday! And there’s a saying: Never meet your heroes, they’ll probably disappoint you. But for the Bucks, it’ll be more like disappointed that they can never beat their heroes!

 

Triple Threat: Jungle Boy VS Ricky Starks VS Swerve Strickland!

Captain Charisma set up a prelude to the AEW World Tag Team Championship Triple Threat at Double or Nothing, because he wants his guy to get back at both the FTW Champion and the man who cost JB that FTW Championship. But will JB just end up getting beat up by his challengers before the title match because of Christian Cage? Or will Jurassic Express have all the momentum going into this Sunday?

The bell rings and fans fire up as these three stare each other down. JB and Swerve then come to an understanding, and they both look at Starks. Starks realizes that and bails out, and says he beat them both already so he doesn’t have to do anything. Fans chant, “Whose House?” “Swerve’s House!” as Swerve offers a handshake to JB. JB accepts, but Starks slides into shove Swerve into JB! Starks rolls Swerve up, JB breaks it as he rolls Starks up! TWO, JB ends up in Swerve’s cradle, TWO! Starks blocks Swerve’s kick and sends it into JB! Starks throws Swerve down, then goes after him, but Swerve moves around to EDDY GORDO RANA!

JB CHOPS Swerve, knuckle locks, and goes up and up, only for Swerve to bring him back down. Swerve blocks a chop and knuckle locks, then turns JB around to double knuckle lock from behind. JB hops up onto Swerve’s shoulders, Swerve throws him at Starks, JB RANAS Starks out of the ring! JB dodges Swerve, dropkicks him then kips up! Fans fire up with JB and he runs at Swerve to CLOBBER him at ropes! JB runs again but Starks trips him up! Starks throws JB out, but JB whips Starks at the corner! Starks slides through the gap and comes back around, to CLOBBER JB! But Swerve runs at the ropes!

Starks ducks but Swerve handsprings over him, only for Starks to shove him into railing! Starks gets up on the apron to strike his pose, then jump down and stomp Swerve! Dynamite goes picture in picture as Starks talks trash on the Swerve fans.

Starks drags Swerve up, whips him hard into railing, then he goes after JB. JB ROCKS and CHOPS Starks but Starks ROCKS and throws JB down! Starks drags JB up and puts him in the ring to then drag him up and around for a suplex. Starks holds JB up, does a hip swivel and then SLAMS JB down! Cover, TWO! Swerve returns but Starks kicks him and throws him out. Starks brings JB up but JB throws body shots! Starks CLUBS JB down, looms over him, and brings him up to knuckle lock and CHOP! Starks goes up slowly, tightrope walks with some swagger, and gives JB some OLD SCHOOL! Starks strikes his pose again as fans rally.

Swerve is on the apron but Starks DECKS him! Starks then drags JB up and CHOPS him. JB CHOPS Starks back! Starks CHOPS again! Starks digs his knee into JB at the corner, the ref counts, Swerve CLOBBERS Starks! Swerve whips Starks to a corner, runs in but Starks back elbows! Starks throws swerve back out, gets JB back up and wrenches to whips to ropes. OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! But Swerve gets in to throw Starks to a corner! Swerve elbows, snapmares, and then goes up for the FALLING UPPERCUT! Starks goes to the apron but Swerve joins him out there. Swerve claws Starks’ face but Starks throws an elbow.

Dynamite returns to single picture as Starks throws a forearm but Swerve gives it back. Starks BOOTS, Swerve keeps Starks from running off. Starks elbows Swerve again, JB runs in but Starks HOTSHOTS him! Swerve BOOTS Starks, JB runs and RANAS Swerve off the apron! JB throws Swerve back in, hurries and BLINDSIDE LARIATS! Cover, Starks breaks it! Starks whips JB, JB reverses to wrench and RACK BOMB! Cover, TWO! JB is annoyed, Starks gets away, Swerve ROCKS JB with a forearm! Swerve whips corner to corner hard, and then he brings JB up to the top rope. Swerve climbs up, brings JB up, but JB throws body shots.

Starks returns, he jumps up to join in, hitting each man in the head! But they double pie face Starks down hard! JB then CLUBS Swerve, gets around, SUPER POISON-RANA!! But Swerve lands on his feet!! Vegas loses its mind and JB is confused! JB and Swerve fire up, but Starks BOOTS Swerve down! JB dodges Starks’ clothesline but Starks blocks a kick. Starks ducks JB’s enziguri but Swerve’s SUPERKICK connects! JB aims but Swerve deflects that superkick to throw JB down! Swerve rolls JB’s arm to lift him up, stalling suplex, but Starks SPEARS them down!! JB lands on his feet, though, and SUPERKICKS Starks!

JB runs, but Starks MICHINOKU DRIVERS! Cover, Swerve breaks it!! Fans are thunderous, Starks and Swerve kick each other and Starks stomps! Fans are loving “A E DUB!” as Starks tries to underhook. But Swerve powers out to a fireman’s carry, but Starks fights free of that. Starks waistlocks, Swerve switches, but Starks fights off the half nelson suplex! Swerve CHOPS Starks’ on the back again and again, but Starks arm-drags free! Swerve uppercuts, but Starks reels him in! Swerve breaks free with his leg, but Starks pokes eyes! Starks underhooks and Canadian racks, ROSHAMBEAUX! But JB gets Starks SNARE TRAP!! Starks is caught, reaches out, crawls forward, ROPEBREAK!

But JB drags Starks away! JB resets the SNARE TRAP!! Starks is fading, HOUSE CALL from Swerve!! Swerve wants someone to get up, Starks sits up in a daze. Swerve is up stop, SWERVE STOMPS!! Cover, Swerve wins!!

Winner: Swerve Strickland, by pinfall

But “Powerhouse” Hobbs gets in! And he CLOBBERS Swerve! JB jumps on Hobbs for a sleeper but Hobbs throws him off! But Luchasaurus rushes out there and he choke grips Hobbs! Hobbs pries free!? But here comes KEITH LEE! The Limitless One isn’t going to let this keep going without him! Keith, Hobbs and Luchasaurus, the big men of each team, start throwing hands! Hobbs ROCKS Keith, Luchasaurus TAIL WHIPS Hobbs, but Keith GRIZZLY MAGNUMS Luchasaurus! Keith then LIMITLESS TORNILLOS them both down!! Fans lose their minds all over again and Keith regroups with Swerve. Will all of the AEW Tag Division soon bask in their glory?

 

Dan Lambert & the Men of the Year speak.

Lambert says, “Sammy, Tay and Frankie must have a combined IQ of room temperature with the air conditioning on if they thought for one second that busting up Scorpio’s TNT title belt was going to get them the match that they want. Well, somebody please tell these idiots about this new invention we have called the internet and show them how to look up American Top Team. Because maybe then, they would understand that winning every championship there is in combat sports means I probably have every belt maker in the world on speed dial.” That’s right, Lambert ordered Scorpio a brand new belt even before AEW’s favorite couple could tweet out a picture of themselves in the middle of some disgusting act wearing the old one.

So, Scorpio Sky gets a special Friday Night Rampage. The brand new, custom made TNT Championship, handcrafted in Scorpio’s image, will be presented to him and he will love it. Scorpio snaps his fingers and we cut away, but will Sammy, Tay & Frankie just look to break that belt up, too?

 

Schiavone is on stage.

This Sunday, the AEW Women’s World Championship will be defended. Schiavone introduces the champion, Thunder Rosa! La Mera Mera makes her way out, and Schiavone asks her about Deeb’s challenge. Rosa wants us to see her face. It has no face paint! This is the real Rosa, the face of someone who has worked and earned everything she has, and is grateful for being champion. That has never complained, either. Because that is what champions do. Deeb, “mi reina,” you are NOT a champion. Fans cheer Rosa on, and Rosa tells Deeb that she complains, is a little petty.

Rosa says Deeb points fingers at people and companies, pinning things on her past, with her questionable changes. Maybe Deeb should look in a mirror and blame herself. Rosa’s face used to look up to Deeb, but no more! And on Sunday, Deeb won’t see this face. On Sunday, the war paint is on. On Sunday, the warrior inside Rosa takes over! On Sunday, La Mera Mera will teach Deeb a lesson in respect for disrespecting Schiavone, for disrespecting Rosa’s mentor, Dustin Rhodes, for disrespecting the fans, and especially for disrespecting Rosa, the AEW Women’s World Champion!! And y’know what? Deeb will be very scared, because Rosa will haunt her forever!

 

AEW returns as Schiavone interviews Red Velvet backstage.

A tremendous match between The Chef and Kris Statlander in the Owen Hart Cup, but Statlander won. Velvet is surely upset. No sh*t, Schiavone. Velvet says she should have won that match, and she should be facing Ruby Soho. But speaking of, Soho walks in because she heard her name. Does Velvet have something to say to her? Yes, actually. If Soho needs to know how to beat Statlander, Velvet’s got this notebook right here. Statlander’s knee is messed up, and she has a bad shoulder, too.

Velvet leaves and Soho says she can admit, when she faced Statlander last time, Soho won by the skin of her teeth. But in the next round of the Owen Hart Cup, Soho knows she’s not facing the same Statlander. This notebook is useless, so Soho throws it away. Soho will keep what Velvet said in mind, though. Will the Runaway be able to get past whatever this new form the Galaxy’s Greatest Alien has taken and head for Double or Nothing? And speaking of…

 

Owen Hart Foundation Women’s Tournament Opening Round: Britt Baker VS Toni Storm!

The Doctor made Maki Itoh tap out while the Lightning From Down Under struck a Hayter. Only one moves on to Double or Nothing and the finals, who wins the first of tonight’s “double main event?”

In a surprising move, Britt tells Rebel and Jamie Hayter that she’ll be fine without them. They head back to the back, this will truly be 1v1, just as Storm wanted it. The bell rings and Vegas rallies for “D M D!” Britt and Storm circle, tie up, and go around. Storm clamps onto the arm, wrenches, but Britt reaches for ropes. Storm keeps her away from ropes, but Britt wrenches back. Britt hammerlocks, spins Storm and snapmares but Storm wrenches right back. Storm keeps Britt down with a wristlock, but Britt fight sup to break free. Britt snapmares, but Storm wrenches Britt right back, then headlocks for the takeover.

Britt keeps her shoulder sup, headscissors, but Storm pops free. Storm and Britt tie up again, Britt hits a headlock takeover. Storm headscissors and she keeps Britt down. Britt gets frustrated but endures as Toni pushes up for more pressure. Britt moves around, Storm pushes up again, but Britt kicks her way to the ROPEBREAK. Fans rally and duel as Storm lets off and waits on Britt. Britt gets up, kicks Storm low, but Storm rushes in. Britt sidesteps but Storm redirects herself to avoid the table top, and she basement dropkicks Britt down! Britt bails out but Storm pursues, and she ROCKS Britt with a forearm!

Storm brings Britt around and POSTS her! The ring count climbs, Storm ROCKS Britt with an uppercut. Storm gets in the ring to refresh the count, then she uppercuts Britt again. Storm aims at the apron but Britt blocks the bump to smack Storm off the apron instead! Britt puts Storm in the ring, fans duel, and Britt climbs up. Storm shoves Britt out! Storm hurries to ROCK Britt with a right, then stalks her to steel steps. But Britt rakes eyes! Britt Hits a COMPLETE SHOT to the steps! Storm flops down and Britt gets in the ring to refresh the count! Britt hurries after Storm as Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Britt rains down fists on Storm, lets off to spell “D M D,” then she drags Storm up. Britt SMACKS Storm off the steps, then takes the fan sign that says “DMD is DUMB,” to rip it in half! Britt refreshes the count again, puts Storm back in, then takes her time getting in the ring. Storm kicks at Britt but Britt stomps and kicks Storm. Britt CLUBS Storm, scuffs her, talks trash on Storm, then puts her in a corner. Britt CHOKES Storm, but the ref counts. Britt lets off at 4, brings Storm around and throws forearms! Britt sits Storm down, drags her back out, and then pulls her into the post! The ref counts again and Britt scuffs Storm as she lets off.

Britt gets back in the ring with a smirk and she brings Storm up. Britt throws Storm down by her hair, covers, TWO! Britt clamps onto Storm with a seated cobra twist, but Storm endures. Fans rally up, Britt pulls Storm’s hair and talks more trash, but Storm endures. Storm fights up, throws body shots, and gets free! Britt ROCKS Storm, but Storm ROCKS Britt! Dynamite returns to single picture as the forearms fly back and forth! Storm gets the edge, but Britt dodges to SUPERKICK! Storm staggers, Britt goes up the corner, and Britt leaps for PITT- NO! Storm blocks the sunrise to go up and TORNADO DDT!

Britt flounders away and fans fire up. Storm fires up, she runs in corner to corner, HIP ATTACK! Then Alabama lift, ALABAMA SLAM! Storm rolls Britt back to her feet and reels her in, but Britt powers up to AIR RAID CRASH! Cover, TWO!! Fans fire up but here comes Hayter! She coaches Britt up but Britt tells her to go back. Storm rolls Britt! TWO!! Britt kicks low, reels Storm in, FISHERMAN SCREW! Cover, TWO!! Storm survives and Britt is beside herself! Britt waistlocks, ripcords, but Storm dodges to GERMAN SUPLEX! Britt flounders to the apron and out of the ring. Storm hurries after her, TORNADO DDT to the floor!!

Storm drags Britt up, puts Britt in, and fans duel! Hayter is on the apron but Storm DECKS her! Storm runs at Britt, blocks the superkick and kicks back! Storm reels Britt in, Britt back drops but Storm sunset flips! Britt sits on the cover, Hayter helps Britt grab the rope! BRITT WINS!

Winner: Britt Baker, by pinfall (advances to the finals)

Storm is shocked! Britt did 99% of the work and still stole this one! Who will The Doctor meet in the finals? We see Statlander VS Soho this Friday on Rampage!

 

Owen Hart Foundation Men’s Tournament Semifinals: Samoa Joe VS Kyle O’Reilly!

The Panama City Playboy waits the winner of this at Double or Nothing, and he’s hoping for an Undisputed Finals! Will #KillerKyle keep that dream alive? Or will the Samoan Submission Machine make sure the Cup stays far out of their reach?

The bell rings and the two circle. Kyle and Joe test the waters with kicks, fans sing, “Joe is gonna kill~ you!” and Joe withstands Kyle’s quick flurry! Joe backs Kyle down with his own kicks and knees, and even adds elbows and a KICK! Kyle staggers but he steadies himself and the two reset. Kyle shoots in, Joe switches, Kyle flips it to a facelock. They move around, Joe wants a leg now, and he gets Kyle down! Kyle uses a leg guard and they end up in ropes, Joe lets off quickly. Fans fire up for the opening exchange and the two reset again. They knuckle lock, Kyle gets the arm and wrenches it. Joe wants the sleeper!

Kyle trips Joe, Joe kicks Kyle away and avoids the Penalty Kick to CHOP Kyle off his feet! Fans are stinging from that one, and they chant for “JOE! JOE! JOE!” Kyle gets up, Joe JABS, JABS, then CHOPS Kyle in the corner. Joe brings Kyle around but Kyle wants that bad arm! Joe uses the good arm to scoop and SLAM Kyle! Kyle sits up and gasps, Joe CHOPS him on the shoulder, then PENALTY KICKS and ELBOW DROPS! Fans fire up and Joe covers, TWO! Joe CLUBS Kyle, CHOPS him, CHOPS again, then HEADBUTTS! Joe throws a back elbow, reels Kyle in, and snap suplexes! Joe floats to the cover, TWO!

Joe smirks and JABS Kyle again. Joe runs but into a KNEE! Kyle wrenches the bad arm to WRING it out! Joe rolls away, Kyle snarls and he stomps Joe to ropes. Kyle gets the bad arm, hammerlocks, and he rains down elbows and knees! Kyle floats over to do the same to the other side, then he runs for a SLIDING KNEE! Joe writhes, Kyle KICKS the bad arm! And again! Joe staggers but Kyle brings him around to clinch and fire off more knees! Kyle runs but Joe CLOBBERS him! Fans fire up and Kyle flounders to the apron. Joe storms over, but Kyle gets the leg! DRAPING DRAGON SCREW! Kyle then goes up the corner, FLYING KNEE to the bad arm! Cover, TWO!

But into an ARMBAR! Joe clasps hands, or rather holds his own wrist! Kyle wants the arm but Joe gets the ROPEBREAK! Kyle holds until 4 and Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Kyle KICKS Joe against the ropes, then KICKS him again. Joe bails out of the ring, Kyle goes out after him, and Kyle wrenches the bad arm for a double wristlock. Kyle then hammerlocks the arm, makes Joe take a seat and he KICKS away on Joe by the barriers! Kyle ROCKS Joe, then gets some space. Kyle runs back in, but Joe DECKS him with a forearm! Fans fire up and Joe brings Kyle up. Joe CHOPS Kyle into taking a seat, then Joe gets some space. Joe encourages fans to fire up, and he run sin to BOOT WASH Kyle against railing! The front row fans fire up getting a whole new experience as Joe brings his foot back over.

Joe drags Kyle up and puts him in the ring. Joe takes a moment to catch his breath, then he gets in. Kyle gets the bad arm to wrench, hammerlock, and leg sweep! Joe lands on the bad arm and clutches the shoulder! Kyle rains down palm strikes on Joe, floats over to the other side for more, then back again! Kyle lets off to get the bad arm and grind the shoulder. Joe endures, even as Kyle grinds the elbow into Joe’s head. Joe fights up but Kyle throws him down! Kyle runs to drop a knee on Joe’s shoulder! Kyle paces, stomps the bad arm, then hauls Joe up as Dynamite returns to single picture.

Kyle throws forearms, KICKS, and repeat, focusing on the bad arm. But Joe uses the arm to catch the kick! Kyle fires off palm strikes, knees and another kick, but Joe ROLLING LEG SWEEPS! Kyle goes down and fans fire up with Joe! Joe JABS, JABS and JABS, to then whip and atomic drop! Joe keeps moving, and he BOOTS Kyle down! SENTON! Cover, TWO! Kyle survives but Joe keeps cool. Joe stands Kyle up for knee after knee, but Kyle blocks to KICK the bad arm. Kyle runs, but Joe LARIATS him down! Cover, TWO!! Kyle survives and Joe is beside himself! Fans rally behind Joe and he watches Kyle rise.

Joe brings Kyle up but Kyle throws a forearm! Joe responds with palm strike after palm strike from his good arm! Joe has Kyle in the corner, puts him up top, then tucks him in! MUSCLE- NO! Kyle fights out and has the bad arm! Kyle shifts around from double wristlock to FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Joe endures but Kyle pushes back! Joe crawls, reaches out, turns on his side, ROPEBREAK! Kyle lets go quickly but still wants the bad arm. Kyle rips off the tape and snarls as he KICKS the arm again! Joe is in the corner, Kyle BOOTS him! Joe JABS, and JABS, and CHOPS! Kyle BOOTS again, but Joe KNEES Kyle as he shoots in low!

Kyle staggers, yoyos in the ropes, and LARIATS! Joe ENZIGURIS! Kyle PENALTY KICKS! Fans fire up again as both men are down! Kyle and Joe go to opposite corners, fans love “A E DUB!” for this, and Kyle runs corner to corner! URENA- NO! Arm-drag counter, and Kyle shoots around. O’Conner Roll, TWO! COQUINA CLUTCH!! But Kyle has the bad arm! Joe is still locking it in with the one good arm! Kyle sputters, and he’s out! JOE WINS!!

Winner: Samoa Joe, by submission (advances to the finals)

Even with one good arm, the ROH World Television Champion pulls off the victory! But here comes Adam Cole, BAYBAY! Cole and Joe have never had a match against each other before, and now they will in a historic finals match at Double or Nothing! Who will win the inaugural Owen Hart Foundation Men’s Tournament?


My Thoughts:

A great episode for Dynamite, especially as a go-home for Double or Nothing. For one, opening with the Steel Cage was an awesome move. I should’ve figured MJF would go that far to try and screw Wardlow over, but it was awesome how Wardlow turned it around on MJF. That was one serious headshot and MJF sold it perfectly. Wardlow of course wins, and of course we’re now getting MJF VS Wardlow at Double or Nothing, and who knows how that goes. There is a very good chance MJF wins, though, with the dirtiest of ways to win, but I bet Vegas would go nuts if Wardlow won. Also great to see that I called the TNT Championship was being remodeled for Scorpio, I bet that thing will look awesome.

Great promo from the JAS, and wow, Jericho with another fireball just because that staffer wore a Moxley shirt. If this were sports entertainment, they would’ve mentioned Jericho getting fined a lot of money. Regal and Jericho were very good on commentary during Moxley & Kingston VS Private Party, which was a lot of fun and a pretty good sampler of what Anarchy in the Arena will look like. I don’t want it to be so chaotic because that’ll be hard for everyone to keep up with all the action, but it will surely be just brawling all over ringside and even in the ring, and who knows what we’ll see these teams do to each other.

Good promo vignette from Jade and Jay to hype up the rematch, but again, because it’s Jay again, I feel like Jade’s got this one. I did like that Velvet, though Heel, gave Ruby, a Face, advice on how to beat Statlander since Velvet is now Statlander’s enemy. Ruby had a good Face response, and Ruby VS Statlander on Rampage is going to be a great match. Great promo from the Hardys to hype up their match with the Bucks, no idea who wins that match, but I definitely see the winner going after the AEW World Tag titles. And while Rosa had a very good promo, they started her music a little early. Probably just them misreading her promo, but it also felt like they were playing her off, which is a bit rude to do to your AEW Women’s World Champion. But that aside, Rosa is surely retaining against Deeb.

Great segment from Hangman and Punk, and though Hangman purposefully danced around the issue, I’m pretty sure what he was getting at is Punk coming in and throwing off all the plans for the AEW originals, Hangman himself included. Punk also had a good counter saying he was the foundation of what AEW is even about. That match is going to be amazing, Hangman knocking Punk down technically means Punk is standing tall because he got in Hangman’s head. I would think Hangman retains the title and that strengthens his reign, probably so he’ll be real strong for Kenny Omega’s eventual return.

The ROH World Tag Team Championship match was great stuff, and I even liked that it ended up like it did because The United Empire shows up to further build towards Forbidden Door. FTR wants more tag titles, RPG Vice called out a lot of champions, and now it seems the Empire figures they’ll grab up titles, we could get a huge tag title match with this feud. The Triple Threat of JB, Starks and Swerve was great stuff, and between Swerve winning the match and Keith running off the other heavies, I have a feeling Keith & Swerve end up losing somehow. That might mean Jurassic Express finds a way to retain, maybe Team Taz wins, but who knows.

Great “double main event” from the Owen Hart Cup Semifinals, and we even got a good promo vignette to hype the matches up. Britt VS Storm was of course still affected by Hayter showing up, but I almost thought Hayter was going to accidently cost Britt. But no, Britt still wins, as expected, and she is paralleling Cole as they’re both finalists. Joe VS Kyle was awesome stuff, and especially with Joe selling the arm damage from last week. Joe winning was great, though, and that gives us a classic Face VS Heel showdown. I suppose it would be too early for Cole VS Kyle, possible dysfunction between them in AEW after doing that story in NXT, and Cole VS Joe will still be awesome. But with Lethal, Sonjay & Singh lurking, I bet Joe loses because of them and Cole wins, he and Britt will be an Owen Hart Cup winner power couple.

My Score: 8.9/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (3/31/23)

Best Friends are on a Rampage!

Published

on

You GOT to give the people what they want!

Best Friends returned on Dynamite to help Orange Cassidy keep the International title, but now they are after AEW Trios Champions, The House of Black! Will Trent & Chuck be able to beat Malakai & Brody?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Sammy Guevara VS Konosuke Takeshita; Sammy wins.
  • Best Friends VS The Kings of the Black Throne w/ Julia Hart; The Kings of the Black Throne win, by disqualification.
  • Taya Valkyrie VS Marina Shafir; Taya wins.
  • Juice Robinson VS Action Andretti; Juice wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Sammy Guevara w/ Tay Melo VS Konosuke Takeshita!

The Spanish God watched Jungle Boy beat Matt Hardy on Dynamite and wasn’t particularly impressed. But that does mean Jack Perry is in the lead for the #1 contender’s race. Will Sammy catch up to JB? Or will the Future of Wrestling block his path?

The bell rings and Sammy has everyone hold on as he hands his vest off to his lovely wife, Tay. Fans chant “SAMMY SUCKS!” but Sammy just shrugs that off. Sammy and Konosuke circle, tie up, and Sammy shoots to a waistlock. Konosuke pries the hold, hooks a leg, and he elbows free. Konosuke runs, Sammy hurdles, flips and DROPKICKS! Sammy kips up smooth and takes a bow while fans boo. Sammy spins and poses, but Konosuke sits up and and snarls. Sammy kicks Konosuke around, “You’re not on my level.” Sammy pie faces Konosuke, but Konosuke makes Sammy put his hands at his side. Then DECKS him!

In a surprise twist, Jack Perry is watching backstage like Sammy was on Wednesday. He likes what just happened there. Fans fire up as Konosuke stands over Sammy then stands him up. Konosuke whips, Sammy reverses, but Konosuke ducks ‘n’ dodges to TAKESHITA LINE! And then Konosuke spins and poses to copy Sammy! Tay is furious but the fans are loving it! Darby is also watching backstage, though less anxious as he was on Wednesday. Konosuke bumps Sammy off buckles, then ROCKS him again. Fans rally, Konosuke suplexes but Sammy knees free. Sammy suplexes to hang Konosuke out to dry!

Sammy CLUBS Konosuke, goes up a corner, and he GUILLOTINE SENTONS! Konosuke hits the mat then bails out of the ring. Sammy soaks up the heat, builds up the speed, but Konosuke returns to BOOT! Sammy falls out of the ring and Konosuke runs to FLY! Direct hit and fans fire up more! Tay checks on Sammy but Konosuke drags him up and in. Sammy crawls, Konosuke stalks him, and fans rally up again. Konosuke hoists Sammy up to the top rope, then climbs up behind him. Fans fire up but Sammy fights, and he claws Konosuke’s eyes! Konosuke sits on the top rope, Sammy pushes him into the Tree of Woe!

Sammy hurries to run side to side, TREE STOMP! Fans boo but Sammy soaks up the heat as Rampage goes picture in picture.

Sammy paces while Konosuke stirs. Sammy stands on Konosuke at the ropes but lets off as the ref reprimands. Sammy soaks up more heat, brings Konosuke back up, and he snap suplexes! Cover, TWO! Sammy keeps on Konosuke with stomps. Sammy drags Konosuke up to throw him out and Konosuke staggers to the barrier. Sammy distracts the ref so that Tay can sucker punch Konosuke! And again! Tay scurries away, Sammy goes out and CLOBBERS Konosuke! The “lovely” couple soak up the heat, and Sammy puts Konosuke back in the ring. Rampage returns to single picture and Sammy brings Konosuke up.

Konosuke throws hands but Sammy CLUBS him down. Sammy calls his shot, “Brainbuster!” But Konosuke suplexes to BRAINBUSTER! Tay is shocked but the fans fire up! Konosuke goes to the corner, runs in, but KNEES collide as both men think the same thing! Sammy hobbles but goes to run, only for Konosuke to reel him in. Sammy mule kicks Konosuke’s leg out! Sammy aims but Konosuke ducks the buzzsaw! Konosuke waistlocks while on his knees, to BASEMENT GERMAN SUPLEX! Sammy staggers up, into a LARIAT! Both men are down and fans fire up! Tay is still very worried as the standing count climbs.

Konosuke is up first, h e brings Sammy up and whips him to a corner. Konosuke runs in but into an UPPERCUT! Sammy goes up and wheelbarrows, but Konosuke blocks the victory roll to a CRUNCHY! Then a deadlift GERMAN, but Sammy lands on his feet! Sammy fires up, but Konosuke dodges, only to run into a SPANISH FLY! Cover, TWO!! Konosuke survives but Sammy slashes his throat. Sammy drags Konosuke to a corner, he climbs up top, SHOOTING STAR- NO, Sammy has to land on his feet as Konosuke moves! Konosuke runs in to ROCK Sammy! ROLLING- SUPERKICK! Sammy reels Konosuke in, DESTROYER!!

Sammy goes up as Konosuke staggers, FLYING- NO! Konosuke catches the cutter for a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! High stack, TWO!! Fans are thunderous as Sammy survives! Konosuke fires up and fans are with him. “This is Awesome!” as Konosuke climbs. But Sammy GAMANGIRIS first! Sammy climbs up, brings Konosuke back up, but Konosuke CLUBS away on Sammy! Sammy sits back down, Konosuke gets around behind him, SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX!! Tay is panicking, Konosuke runs, LARIAT!! Cover, TWO!! Sammy survives again but fans are thunderous for Konosuke! But Tay grabs at his foot!

The ref misses that while busy with Sammy, and Sammy’s JUMP KNEE hits! Torture rack, GO TO HOSPITAL! Cover, Sammy wins!

Winner: Sammy Guevara, by pinfall

Darby sarcastically applauds but JB shakes his head. The Brazilian Goddess had to help the Spanish God win this one, but will Sammy still find his way to Double or Nothing?

 

It’s an all-new episode of QTV.

QT Marshall wishes the team a belated Powerhouse Hobbs Day. And Hobbs successfully retained the TNT title against Penta, even with “a fan” running in the ring. That’s QT mocking Rey Fenix, as footage Harley recorded reminds us that Fenix made the save before QT, Solo & Hobbs could put a beating down on Alex Abrahantes. So who is next for Hobbs? Start up the rumor mill. Harley has some DMs. They should make it Alex Abrahantes! QT remembers buying a computer from him. Solo says that’s a little cringe. Inspiration strikes Harley and she says it should be Bow Wow! Okay, moving on…

Did everyone see QT’s new finisher? As debuted on AEW Dark, QT hits a suplex to powerbomb, the “Dirt Sheet Driver.” He stole it from Kobashi. The sausage? No, Solo! The Japanese legend! A true pillar of pro-wrestling! And because it’s from Japan, the marks already love it! HAHA! Inspiration strikes Harley again, and she suggests QT should hit it four times in a row! Solo adds that QT can call it the “Dirt Sheet Symphony.” They mock Wardlow conducting the fans and they sing “Q~ T~!” Will all this joking and trolling only bring about the wrath of Wardlow?

 

Backstage interview with Matt Hardy & Ethan Page.

Lexi Nair is with members of The Firm and notes that after months and months of ups and downs, it looks like it all comes to a head next Wednesday as Ethan Page faces Hook 1v1. Hardy is holding up the contract for the match, and Ethan says, “Finally. You go the paperwork done, Matt?” “I got it right here.” “It’s official?” “It sure is. It is absolutely official. Right here, Ethan Page VS Hook. The match, the contract. I personally oversaw every single bit of wording in this contract, it is set.” Good, because Ethan doesn’t know how this work. Stokely being away, it is great to see Hardy handling this for them. He is literally the man.

Hardy knows they had miscommunication on Dynamite, but Ethan doesn’t have to worry. They are best friends, they are always gonna be best friends. He has a pen, and he says Hook signed his part. Hardy’s got Ethan’s back, so Ethan uses Hardy’s back to sign on the dotted line. Hardy winks at the camera, and Ethan tells Hook he’ll see him in New York. Hardy says that’s right! Hook belongs to Ethan! But what was that little wink about?

 

Best Friends VS The Kings of the Black Throne w/ Julia Hart!

Trent Beretta & Chuck Taylor are back and ready to pick up where they left off. Will that mean conquering two of the meanest men in AEW? Or will they just be sent back into the darkness?

The teams sort out and Trent starts against Malakai. The two circle, feel things out, and tie up. Malakai waistlocks, drags Trent down, but Trent slips free to facelock. Malakai turns things around to headlock Trent, but Trent powers up and out. Things speed up, but Malakai stops himself to knee low! Malakai runs but into a STANDING METEORA! Fans fire up and Trent brings Malakai up. Malakai KICKS Trent down! Malakai drags Trent up but Trent powers him to the corner. Chuck tags in, Best Friends mug Malakai but Malakai fires off on Chuck. Chuck hits back, knees low, but Malakai fires off a strike fest!

Malakai BOOTS then KITCHEN SINK KNEES! Cover, TWO! Malakai stomps Chuck right on the face! Malakai brings Chuck up, puts him in a corner and fires off hands. Malakai brings Chuck over, tags in Brody, and Brody runs to BLAST Trent! Malakai fires off on Chuck, fans duel, but the House of Black double whips Chuck to the corner. Malakai runs in but Chuck dodges to send him back! Malakai rolls off Brody’s back but Chuck KNEES Brody! Brody swings, misses, but Malakai BOOTS Chuck into the SOUTHPAW LARIAT from Brody! Cover, Trent breaks it! Brody TOSSES Trent back out then pursues!

Brody RAMS Trent into barriers! Fans fire up while Malakai does the same to Chuck on the other side. Brody stands Trent up to DECK him, and Rampage goes picture in picture.

Malakai drags Chuck up, Brody does the same with Trent, and Brody TOSSES Trent into barriers while Malakai CLUBS Chuck down. Malakai stands Chuck back up while Brody stands on Trent! Malakai BOOTS Chuck, and Brody puts Chuck in the ring. Brody stands Chuck up to CHOP him to a corner. Chuck falls over, Brody digs his boots in. The ref counts, Brody lets off, and he drags Chuck up to CHOP him again. Brody puts Chuck in the corner, tags Malakai, and they mug Chuck. Malakai snapmares to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Malakai keeps cool and he brings Chuck back up.

Chuck throws body shots but Brody tags in. The House mugs Chuck again, Brody ROCKS and CHOPS Chuck in the corner, then he brings Chuck out to bump off buckles. Brody CHOPS Chuck in the other corner, Chuck hits back, but Brody DECKS him! Brody stands Chuck up, claws his face and CHOPS him again. Brody CHOKES Chuck on ropes, then grinds his face along them! The ref counts, Brody tags Malakai, and the mugging continues. Malakai brings Chuck around to snap suplex low and hard! Chuck crawls to a corner but he hits back. And BOOTS back as Rampage goes to break!

Rampage returns and Malakai fires off forearms, but Chuck gives them back! Malakai keeps Chuck from Trent but Chuck JAWBREAKERS! Hot tag to Trent! Trent dodges Malakai, BLASTS Brody, then fires off on Malakai! Brody storms in but Trent BOOTS him! Malakai goes after Trent but Trent forearms and ROLLING ELBOWS! Brody gets in, puts Trent in a corner, but Trent dodges the splash! Trent deflects Malakai’s boot to GERMAN SUPLEX! Brody fireman’s carries but Trent fights free to TORNADO DDT! Fans fire up as Brody flops out of the ring, and Trent builds speed! Trent FLIES, direct hit at ringside!

Fans fire up more as Trent climbs. Trent leaps at Malakai, MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Fans rally while Trent snarls. Julia isn’t happy, either, as Trent tags Chuck. Best Friends coordinate but Malakai fights the lift to KNEE Trent down! Chuck leaps, but into a waistlock! Chuck elbows free, Trent half nelsons, SOLE FOOD HALF ‘N’ HALF! Fans fire up, and Best Friends hug! You GOT to give the people what they want! But then Brody CLOBBERS Chuck! Trent CHOPS, Brody CHOPS Trent off his feet! Brody CLUBS Trent, runs, but Trent dumps him out! Fans fire up as Trent builds speed again, to DIVE, into Brody’s hands! APRON CHOKE SLAM!!

Fans hoot and bark as Brody gets a chair! The ref tells Brody now, but Chuck snatches the chair! Chuck kicks low, ROCKS Brody, but Brody ROCKS Chuck! Brody brings Chuck around, POWERBOMB through the timekeeper’s table!! So Trent SMACKS Brody with the chair!! The irony is that no one can ring the bell now! But then Malakai BOOTS the chair into Trent’s face! The ref wants this to stop, the timekeeper finds the bell in the wreckage and rings it!

Winners: The Kings of the Black Throne, by disqualification

Malakai wonders what that’s about, but then just smiles. Malakai rains down fists on Chuck, then he and Brody drags Chuck up. They put Chuck in the ring, circle him like sharks with blood in the water, and the ref says they should stop, this is over! But here comes Orange Cassidy! Freshly Squeezed is gonna save his Best Friends like they did him! WAIT! Buddy Matthews rushes him on stage! Cassidy dodges the knee to ORANGE- NO, the belt was a shield! V-TRIGGER! Buddy drags Cassidy up and TOSSES him down the ramp! And Malakai continues with Brody, they drag Chuck up for DANTE’S INFERNO!!

Fans are going wild as the House of Black stands tall over Best Friends. Malakai then stands over Cassidy and tells him, “I know exactly how people like you think. And it takes something as simple as that to make you come out like I thought you would.” Buddy mockingly pats Cassidy on the head, then the House of Black take their leave. Will Best Friends not only fail to take the trios titles, but fail to keep the International title from Malakai and his brethren?

 

AEW looks closer at the grudge between Swerve Strickland and Keith Lee.

The Mogul Affiliates leader says, “The thing I pride myself on is the fact that my words have weight to it. My meaning, my purpose, has consequence too it. Same with you, Keith. That’s honestly what I respect about you and admire the most. There is a danger about you.” The Limitless One says that Swerve is upset that Keith took out Trench. Swerve is upset that Keith took out Parker Boudreaux. “And yet somehow, you’re proud that you took me out?” Swerve watched Keith be so triumphant in his career, and then he watched him be thrown out like trash.

Keith warns Swerve that just because Keith looks benevolent doesn’t mean he doesn’t know who Swerve is. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what he has to do to stop Swerve. Swerve says he will “cherish the day” he gets rid of Keith for good. Keith says Swerve presents himself as this mogul. “If I put you six feet deep, will that just make you an underground rebel?” Swerve says he has everybody, everything, an entire army assembled to take Keith out for good. Swerve promises us, his words have weight to them. Will all that weight come crashing down on Keith? Or will it come crashing down back on Swerve’s house?

 

Taya Valkyrie VS Marina Shafir!

La Wera Loca is gunning for Jade Cargill’s undefeated streak and TBS Championship, but right now, she isn’t worried about #ThatBitch and her flimsy lawsuits. Will Taya be able to solve The Problem here in just her third AEW match?

The bell rings and fans rally up. Taya and Marina tie up, are in a deadlock, but Taya gets around to a waistlock. Marina pries at the arms, wrenches out and drop toeholds Taya to get the legs. Taya kicks her away but Marina cartwheels and returns. Taya trips Marina and goes for a leg, but Marina kicks her away. Fans applaud after that exchange and the two reset. Marina and Taya feel things out, but here come The Baddies. Sterling has the paperwork from Wednesday, but Taya focuses on the wristlock Marina puts on. Taya swings but Marina kicks her first. Marina wrenches but Taya rolls, only for Marina to power her over!

Marina floats and has as half straitjacket. Taya fights up, but Marina ripcords, only for Taya to arm-drag! Taya dodges the knee, mule kicks the knees in return, and LARIATS! Cover, TWO! Taya brings Marina up but Marina breaks free to CHOP and CHOP and KICK and KICK! Marina kicks the legs out and Taya falls over. Marina gets as leg, brings Taya around and wraps her up in a body scissor. Taya fights but Marina makes it a cover, ONE! The two fight for control, Taya CHOPS and CHOPS and Marina backs off. Marina storms up, Taya swats the knee to KNEE and DECK Marina! Fans fire up with Taya as she brings Marina up!

Taya chicken wings, lifts Marina, ROAD TO VALHALLA! Jade is furious but Taya wins!

Winner: Taya Valkyrie, by pinfall

Jade has the music cut so she can talk. “Mark, handle this.” Sterling says he’ll handle it! By making his processor, Tootie Lynn, handle it! Tootie takes the document, storms down to the ring, and Sterling says Taya’s messed up for the last time! That is a court order Tootie has! Jade is SUING Taya! “You’ve been served!” Taya takes the paper, pretends to be scared, but then just throws that aside to chicken wing Tootie! If she’s already in trouble, then she’ll just hit the ROAD TO VALHALLA again! Jade loses her cool! Jade runs down the ramp but both Leila and Sterling stop her! Fans want to “Let them fight!” but Sterling says that’s not best for business.

Taya grins and Jade frowns, but only one can be the alpha female! Will it all come down to who hits the chicken wing facebuster first?

 

Backstage interview with Anna Jay.

Lexi is with the Queenslayer, the Star of the Show, and asks her about the vicious attack on Julia Hart. Why did she do it? Anna says she was watching JAS VS The House of Black VS The Elite, and, well, Julia just pisses Anna off! Anna almost died in that street fight, TayJay VS Ruby & Willow. “Does anyone know how painful dislocated ribs are?” But what Anna realized was that pain doesn’t bother her, because she’s got a phat ass and a bad attitude! House of Black claims to like pain, so Anna is gonna test that “spooky b*tch,” and choke her out! ANNA’S GONNA CHOKE YOU OUT!! Anna scares Lexi off, but will Julia be the one scaring Anna?

 

BREAKING NEWS for Rampage next week!

Not only will Rampage on April 7th be immediately followed by Battle of the Belts SIX, they will both be LIVE! Don’t miss what will be a loaded Friday night in Kingston, Rhode Island!

 

Mark Henry welcomes us back to Rampage.

“Tonight, Juice Robinson takes on Action Andretti, will there be lights, camera, Action? Or will the Juice be loose?” Juice says “Rock Hard Juice Robinson against Action Andretti. But it’s not gonna be the wrestling match you signed up for, Action. You’re in a fight against somebody who’s real mad. Who’s got tunnel vision on right now for Ricky Starks! Every punch is gonna be for Ricky Starks. You’re gonna be feeling it, Action. You do yourself a favor, Ricky Starks, pull up a chair and you watch the example I make out of Action Andretti. And you need to know that that’s just a small pinprick of the ass kicking that I’m gonna give you in New York City!”

It looks like there’s been enough talk. It’s TIME for the main event!

Juice Robinson VS Action Andretti!

The Booster is looking past Double A because he wants after The Absolute, but will he come to regret it? Or will Action not get satisfaction here in St. Louis?

The bell rings and Juice runs in! Action dodges, Juice hits buckles and Action rolls him up! TWO, and Juice starts swinging! Action bobs ‘n’ weaves, headlocks, but Juice powers out. Action slides under, headlocks again, but Juice back suplexes. Action lands on his feet, waistlocks, Juice bucks the O’Conner and runs in again. Action wrenches him around and CHOPS! Action knuckle locks, goes up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAGS! Fans fire up while Juice flounders to a corner. Action runs in, into an ELBOW! Juice bumps Action off buckles, then CHOPS! Juice tells the fans to shut up, then he tells the ref off, too.

Juice stands Action up, CHOPS again, then eggs on “Ricky Starks.” Remember, you’re Ricky tonight, boy! Juice whips Action corner to corner, Action goes up and over, he ducks the leg lariat and tilt-o-whirl RANAS! Fans fire up, Action runs to springboard and TORNILLO! Cover, TWO! Action keeps his cool as Rampage goes picture in picture.

Action brings Juice up to CHOP him to the corner. And CHOP him again! Juice staggers away to the far side but Action goes after him. Action CHOPS again! Juice staggers to another corner, Action whips him to ropes, but Juice reverses and reels Action in. Juice suplexes, but Action slips free to get a SLEEPER! Juice flails and reaches out. They go around, Action holds on, Juice thrashes but Action uses that to arm-drag him away! Juice bails out, Action builds speed, and Action DIVES into a haymaker! Juice drags Action up to whip him hard into steel steps! Juice slides into the ring and Action writhes.

The ring count climbs, Action is still down at 5 of 10 so Juice goes out to scoop him. And SNAKE EYES off the steel steps! Juice grins as the ref reprimands and the ring count starts again. Juice drags Action up, scoops again, and SLAMS him on the floor! Juice talks trash on “Ricky,” then mocks the ring count. Juice drags Action up, puts him in the ring, and argues with the ref. Juice goes after Action at the ropes, whips him and FLAPJACKS! Then he brings Action up to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Juice sets up to SENTON! Cover, TWO! Action is hanging tough and Juice is annoyed by that.

Juice drags Action back up, whips him to ropes, and Rampage returns to single picture for the kitchen sink knee! Juice asks “Ricky” how those ribs feel. Juice gut wrenches Action to GUTBUSTER! Fans boo Juice but he stalks Action to a corner. Juice drags Action up, fans chant “THAT’S NOT RICKY!” Action CHOPS and CHOPS, whips, but Juice reverses to kitchen sink knee again! Juice snarls, he kicks Action around, and eggs him on. Juice puts Action in the corner, whips him corner to corner hard, and Action bounces off buckles! Cover, TWO! Juice argues with the ref but the count was fair.

Juice smirks and mocks the fans that that’s Ricky Starks. Juice drags Action up, but Action SLAPS him! Juice staggers, runs in and knees low, then whips Action out of the ring. Action lands on the apron, shoulders back in and slingshots up and over. Action keeps moving, and he FOREARMS Juice! Juice wobbles, Action RUNNING FOREARMS again! Action keeps moving, he ducks another leg lariat and UPPERCUTS Juice down! Mule kick! Knee lift! Juice ducks the roundhouse but the ENZIGURI sends him tumbling out! Action builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit and fans fire up with Action!

Action brings Juice up, Juice shoves him away, but Action comes back. Juice pops Action up but Action lands on the apron again. Action aims to SUPERKICK, then ARABIAN PRESS! Direct hit and down goes Juice! Action puts Juice back in, aims and springboards, to FLYING LARIAT! Action kips up and fans fire up! Action fires forearms, whips, but Juice reverses and scoops, only for Action to tilt-o-whirl DDT! Cover, TWO! SUPERKICK! Juice is down, Action aims from a corner. Action runs in, into the LEG LARIAT! Juice drags Action out, JUICE IS LOOSE! Cover, Juice wins!

Winner: Juice Robinson, by pinfall

Action could not break through Rock Hard Robinson, Juice drops him! But Juice isn’t done, he drags Action back up. Fans boo as Juice mocks Starks’ pose. But wait! Here comes Ricky Starks! The REAL Ricky Starks! Starks chases Juice all around the ring then back up the ramp! Will Starks catch Juice by the time AEW is in Long Island?


My Thoughts:

A really good Rampage, with a lot of story progression here. Sammy VS Konosuke was a great match, building the story of the Young Pillars chasing after that #1 contender spot. But with Sammy being Heel cuz of JAS and Tay helping him win, and MJF being THE Heel, pretty sure JB or Darby will win out on this build. Solo saying Alex VS Hobbs is cringe, QTV continues to border on cringe. But I did appreciate Harley mentioning Bow Wow. What happened to Bow Wow messing with Jade? Very early 2000s WWE move to have a storyline start but not see it through. And really good promo from Hardy and Ethan, and that wink totally foreshadows that there is fine print where if Ethan loses, Hardy and Private Party are free of The Firm, to finish the one true long term booking story in AEW.

Great match from Best Friends VS House of Black, a bit confusing DQ finish there but I’m pretty sure Trent hitting Brody was the thing, not Malakai booting Trent. Cassidy and Buddy had a great appearance, and we’re def getting a trios title match of those two factions. A little surprised House of Black pivoted away from JAS so soon, but this could just be a minor detour before a much bigger House of Black VS JAS feud. Which is further implied by Anna calling out Julia. Anna and Julia both need something to do other than just being in the factions, so this will be a really good feud here on the side of the Trios title scene.

Good vignette from Keith and Swerve, but this match just needs to happen already. However it goes, like Swerve having new faction members, it just needs to happen. And good stuff from the Taya VS Jade build, though it was also pretty copy-paste from before. Taya wins, though her match with Marina was a better match than the others, and then Taya makes one of Jade’s many minions look foolish. Just like with Keith VS Swerve, Jade VS Taya should happen already. Or, they should’ve found a way to wait so that this would all be closer to Double or Nothing in May. As great as AEW’s action is, they don’t pace stories well for only having half the PPVs other companies have.

And really good stuff from the main event, though I’m disappointed that Juice’s video promo was the exact same one from Wednesday, and that we got nothing out of Action so that we can see how Action does on the mic. Juice constantly calling Action “Ricky” was great, and of course Juice wins. Starks running Juice off after was also expected, but it was a logical move. Starks VS Juice on Dynamite is going to be good stuff, but it also needs to be the blowoff of this so that Starks can do better things. Honestly, while AEW is trying to make Wardlow VS Hobbs work, Starks needs to be Hobbs’ next real challenge because of their history.

My Score: 8.5/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (3/29/23)

It’s Dynamite, BAYBAY!

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AEW Coverage Lasers

It’s all about the BOOM!

Dynamite has the AEW International Championship, the IWGP United States Championship, and the wrestling return of ADAM COLE, BAYBAY!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry VS Matt Hardy w/ Ethan Page; JB wins.
  • Six Man Tag: The Blackpool Combat Club VS Dalton Castle & The Boys; The BCC wins.
  • IWGP United States Heavyweight Championship: Kenny Omega VS Jeff Cobb; Omega wins and retains the title.
  • AEW International Championship: Orange Cassidy VS The Butcher w/ The Blade; Cassidy wins and retains the title.
  • Ruby Soho w/ The Outcasts VS Willow Nightingale; Ruby wins.
  • Adam Cole VS Daniel Garcia; Cole wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

“Jungle Boy” Jack Perry VS Matt Hardy w/ Ethan Page!

The Young Pillars of AEW are all chasing Maxwell Jacob Friedman and the AEW World Championship, but that means someone has to become #1 contender. Will everyone be living the Jungle Life here in St. Louis? Or will V1 get it down for The Firm?

The bell rings, Hardy and JB shake hands, though Ethan is annoyed by that. Fans duel between “JUNGLE BOY!” and “DELETE!” The “DELETE!” starts to win out, and JB ties up with Hardy. They go around, Hardy puts JB on the ropes, but JB turns it around, and they end up in a corner. Hardy lets off, and he has Ethan stay back, because he can handle this. Fans rally and duel more, the two tie up again, and Hardy waistlocks. JB wrenches free to a wristlock, but Hardy wrenches back. Hardy ELBOW BREAKERS again and again, shouting “DLETE! DELETE!” each time. But JB rolls and wrenches back to wristlock again.

Hardy drops to a knee, but he fights up to wrench and headlock. JB arm-drags free and has a top wristlock. Hardy headscissors to bring JB down, but JB kips free. They go again, Hardy headlocks, but JB powers out. Hardy runs JB over, fans rally and things keep moving. JB blocks the hip toss to body shot, get a leg up and flip through, to then dodge Hardy’s haymaker. JB DROPKICKIS Hardy down and kips up! Fans fire up and JB copies the V1 finger just a moment. JB then builds speed, but Ethan stands in the way! Fans boo but Hardy tells All Ego that it’s okay. But then JB DIVES! Hardy catches him! SIDE EFFECT to the floor!

Fans fire up and Ethan sees Hardy was right, mostly. Darby Allin is watching backstage, keeping his eyes on fellow Young Pillar. We also see Sammy Guevara and wife, Tay Melo, are watching, but also kissing, on the couch. Hardy gets in the ring, the ref checks him, and Ethan takes advantage by TOSSING JB over the barriers! Fans boo but All Ego gets away with things. Hardy wonders what happened, fans rally up for JB while he slowly sits up. Hardy goes out after JB but JB ROCKS Hardy with haymaker after haymaker! JB them hops up onto the barriers to AX HANDLE Hardy down!

Fans fire up with JB as he CLUBS Hardy and puts him in the ring. JB has Hardy on the apron, brings him up, but hardy throws body shots. Hardy shoves JB but JB ROCKS Hardy! Hardy ROCKS JB back! The two brawl on the apron, haymaker for haymaker and forearm for forearm! They go back and forth, fans duel, and it turns into a hockey fight! Hardy wobbles and staggers, JB runs in, but into a SIDE EFFECT to the apron! Fans fire up and Ethan coaches Hardy up. “DELETE! DELETE!” Hardy staggers up and fetches JB while Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Hardy RAMS JB into the apron, stalks him around the way, CLUBS him on the back, and then SMACKS him off the apron. Hardy then pushes JB into the ring, crawls to a cover, TWO! JB is hanging tough but Hardy soaks up the cheers and jeers. Hardy bumps JB off buckles, again and again and again, and on all levels! Hardy finally lets off and he leads the fans in saying, “DELETE! DELETE!” But JB kicks back from below! Hardy grabs the legs, to YANK JB into a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! JB is still in this, but Hardy drags him up. JB throws body shots, Hardy throws haymakers, they go back and forth again!

Hardy CLUBS away on JB, then grabs the legs. JB is in the ropes, for the ROPE GUILLOTINE! JB sputters, Hardy covers, TWO! Hardy looms over JB, drags him back up, and shoves him to ropes to CLUB him on the back! Hardy then stands on JB’s back and uses the ropes to add pressure. The ref reprimands, Hardy lets off, and Hardy brings JB back up. Hardy puts JB through the ropes now to bend him back against them! The ref counts, Hardy lets off at 4, and the ref warns Hardy. Hardy apologizes and Dynamite returns to single picture. Hardy shoves JB to ropes again, to CLUB him on the back again!

Hardy eggs JB on but fans rally up. Hardy shoves JB, COMEBACKER from JB! Fans fire up again as JB and Hardy rise up. Hardy swings but into counter punches! JB runs, but Hardy CLOBBERS him! Ethan fires up, but Hardy runs into a DROPKICK! JB fires up and so do the fans! JB goes to a corner, climbs up, but Ethan distracts! The ref reprimands, but Hardy ROCKS JB first! Hardy climbs up, brings JB in, and hits a SUPERPLEX! Cover, TWO!! Wait, is that…? IT’S HOOK! The Cold-Hearted, Handsome Devil has seen enough of Ethan messing around, and they brawl at the ramp! Hardy goes after Hook, Ethan swings, but HITS HARDY!!

Fans fire up, Hook fires off on Ethan and backs him up the ramp! JB DIVES onto Hardy! Direct hit! JB puts Hardy in and hurries up top, for a leap, into a kick! Hardy reels JB in, TWIST- NO, BACKSLIDE! TWO, and Hardy clinches! SIDE- NO, arm-drag! SUPERKICK! Hardy wobbles, into a COMPLETE SHOT! JB keeps moving, BLINDSIDER LARIAT! Cover, JB wins!

Winner: “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry, by pinfall

Darby seems worried, Sammy is being fed snacks by Tay, because JB is in pole position! But wait, here comes MJF! The AEW World Champion has the mic and fans are torn as he kisses his Dynamite Diamond Ring. MJF has his music cut, and he continues towards the ring. MJF tells them, “I know you people aren’t very bright around these parts, but I run the show around here, so shut your mouths.” MJF then tells JB that he didn’t appreciate JB ruining the Re-Bar-Mitzvah. On the sly, kind of a Kanye move on JB’s part. MJF isn’t sure why the fans are booing, though, they’re from St. Louis! Not exactly forward thinkers around here.

But MJF wants to tell JB this. “There was one thing you said that really stuck to my craw. You said that after our match at Double or Nothing 2020, that our career paths were very different. You had the audacity to say that I had it easy? Really? Okay. You had the audacity to say that I got to waltz away up to the top of the card.” Fans boo because they agree with JB. But MJF says JB “had the audacity to say this place was The MJF Show. And let me tell you something.” Fans tell MJF to STFU but he just says, “No. And guess what, Jack. You’re right! My job’s a joke, dude! I barely wrestle, I barely break a sweat, I get to come out here and I get to absolutely obliterate these losers.

“I waltz to the back, I collect a fat check, I get on my fat Learjet back home, the most magical place in the world, known as Long Island, New York. Which we will be going to next week, tickets still available, AEWTIX.com! Don’t miss it, baby! And then there’s your career after our match, Jack. Let’s be honest, it’s been kind of mid. But I’ll give you credit, I’ll give you credit. You worked your ass off. You scratched and you clawed your way back up the ladder here in AEW by having standout match after standout match, leaving blood, sweat and tears in this ring for these fans.” Fans cheer that because it’s true.

MJF says he’s honest about that. But he doesn’t recall the fans ever saying thanks. Fans chant it now, “Thank You, Jack!” Too late, St. Louis. And MJF doesn’t remember JB being rewarded with that much TV time, either. So y’know what? JB has every right to be mad. But here’s the problem: JB has no right to be made at MJF. JB can’t even be mad at AEW. The only person JB should be mad at is himself. Allow MJF to explain. “After our match at Double or Nothing 2020, when we stole the show, when we went to war in 95 degree weather in Jacksonville, Florida, all to prove we were the future of this sport…

“I walked to the back and I had a foreign funny feeling for the first time in my career. I felt like I had just met my equal inside this ring. For the first time in my career, I had felt like I’d met the man I would be waging war with for the rest of my life. For the first time, I met a man inside this ring that I respected. So I swallowed my pride, I found you in the back that night, and I shook your hand. Do you remember what I said to you that night? I gave you very pertinent advice, Jack. Do you remember what I said?” JB nods and gets a mic of his own.

“Let me see if I can remember the advice that I got from the great MJF. What did you say to me? You told me I had all the skills, and all the potential in the world, blah blah blah. But what did you say? ‘Nice guys always finish last.’ And you told me that if I ever wanted to be as big and successful as you, what’d I have to do? I had to ditch all of my friends and not care about anybody but myself. Is that right? Is that what you told me?” MJF says that is literally what he told JB. And what’d JB do? He continued to hang out with Marko Stunted Growth, Dino Douche, and to make things even worse, Christian Cage! Great call there, by the way.

And all those guys were holding JB back. By the way, don’t think Hook will be any different. JB could’ve listened to MJF, followed him to the top, and they could’ve ran this place. JB could’ve been the world champ by now! This place could’ve been not just the MJF Show, but the Jack Perry Show. But no, JB had to be the good guy for these people? Really? The fans cheer but MJF says the fans might cheer him, but where has it gotten JB? Where has being a good guy gotten him? Three years later, and MJF is the best pro-wrestler in the world! The man with the grandest prize of them all, he is the AEW World Champion!

And Jack…? He’s still just “Jungle Boy.” JB says if he’s being honest, a long, long time ago, he thought that maybe, somehow, someway, JB and MJF were gonna be friends. And to be very honest, in a lot of ways, JB wishes he was more like MJF. He wishes he could talk like MJF. He wishes he had the confidence that MJF has. He wishes that he didn’t care about anyone else but himself. He wishes that he didn’t care about lying and stabbing people in the back to get what he wanted! He wishes that he didn’t care about being the most selfish, narcissistic piece of SH*T in this entire place! Fans cheer the biting sarcasm.

MJF tells the fans to shut up about the POS. But JB says all that ain’t him. If his road to the top is harder than MJF’s because of that, then so be it! JB does it his way! And when JB beats MJF and becomes AEW World Champion, at least JB won’t wake up alone every day and hate what he sees in the mirror. MJF scowls but then laughs. That was really good! Give it up for Jungle Boy! That was actually really good. Congrats, it only took JB four years to learn how to talk! But now listen to MJF. JB is right, there is one thing that JB said that is right. At one point, maybe, just maybe, they could’ve been friends. Partners, even.

“But not anymore, man. Because you turned out to be a massive disappointment. Because you have turned out to be no different than everybody here and everyone watching at home. You’re weak, Jack. Weak in the body, weak in the mind, weak in the soul, weak in the heart, and by the way, I pulled aside that hot piece of ass girlfriend of yours, Anna Jay… And you know what she told me, Jackie Boy? She told me you’re weak between the knees!” JB TACKLES MJF!! JB rains down fists and fans fire up! MJF CLAWS JB’s face! Fans boo but MJF stomps JB into a corner. MJF whips but JB reverses and MJF hits buckle! JB stomps away on MJF now!

Fans are thunderous and JB drags MJF up. MJF whips, but the COMEBACKER hits! JB is all fired up as he stands over MJF, then he stands him up to run and- NO, MJF bails out! Fans boo as the Devil of AEW runs away from Jack Perry. MJF says he’s still champion, and Jack is just Jungle Boy! But will AEW soon be living that Jungle Life?

 

Alex Marvez is backstage with Kenny Omega and Don Callis.

They’re in the trainer’s room as Omega gets his arm checked. Callis sees Marvez and says to clear the air, there’s drama with everything from last week. Omega knows Callis. Well, okay, given that, it is fair. Callis was the one who grabbed Hangman, Hangman is strong, he broke free and Callis fell over. He feels the fool, but he accepts the fault. But then Callis’ question to Omega is, why would Omega automatically think his “friend” (complete with air quote fingers) was the one who attacked Callis? What is it about their friendship? Well, Hangman’s pushed things before. But Callis says there’s no time to think about that!

Omega is coming off what is perhaps the greatest match in Dynamite history last week, and he’ll do it again tonight against Jeff Cobb. Callis wants Omega to focus on the match while Callis takes care of this drama with Hangman. Callis will apologize! Callis heads off, but will his apology go over well? Will the Best Bout Machine be able to focus on giving Cobb his best?

 

Matt Menard & Angelo Parker are out on the town with The Acclaimed!

Daddy Magic says, “Here we are! We are going to have a night on the town. We hired a camera guy to document the whole thing.” We’re getting a montage already of the good times Menard, Parker, Max Caster, Anthony Bowens & Billy Gunn have. They rented a private suite for the St. Louis Blues game! And they have giant scissors! Get it? And this is all on Chris Jericho’s dime! Billy says that means they’re setting themselves up. For what, a good time? YEAH~! They enjoy the game, they get shakes, they get steaks, and the JAS appreciates the Acclaimed. Whatever they want, on the house! But how will the night end?

So it comes down to this: are you in or are you out? Bowens says they will make a decision next Wednesday. Just tell The Ocho thanks, salutations, and see you soon. Menard thinks it went well, and Parker sees the bill. He hopes this goes well…

 

Six Man Tag: The Blackpool Combat Club VS Dalton Castle & The Boys!

Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta have been ripping into whoever gets in the ring with them, claiming it is all business. Will the Peacock and the Tate Twins think it’s just business here tonight? Or will the BCC start to take over the AEW and ROH Trios Divisions?

OH NO! The BCC doesn’t even wait for their entrance, they attack Castle & The Boys from behind! Fans fire up as Moxley RAMS Castle into steel steps! Yuta does the same to Brent Tate! Claudio throws Brandon Tate into railing! The BCC just mugs the former ROH World Six Man Tag Team Champions, and then Claudio puts Brandon in the ring. The bell rings, Castle RAMS Moxley! Moxley hits back, but Claudio UPEPRCUTS Brandon! Claudio puts Brandon up top to TOSS across the way! Yuta still rains down fists on Brent! Claudio CLOBBERS Brandon, kicks him around, and looms over him.

Fans boo as Moxley chokes out Castle while Claudio deadlift CHOKE SLAMS Brandon! And then the arms are tucked, for the RICOLA BOMB!! Cover, the BCC wins!

Winners: The Blackpool Combat Club, by pinfall

The Peacock and Tates never stood a chance! The BCC celebrate, have their hands raised, and then Claudio taunts Brandon by doing push-ups because he hasn’t even broken a sweat. But will the BCC continue to dominate even through the Supercard of Honor this Friday?

 

Backstage interview with Hangman Page.

Marvez is with the Cowboy now and asks him about last week. Hangman rode with one of the Young Bucks in the ambulance to the hospital, so first and foremost, how are they doing? Hangman says they’ve been better. Nick has a separated shoulder, Matt has a partial bicep tear. But they’re going to heal. Then second question: who did this? Is Marvez kidding? The Blackpool guys, the BBC or whatever. Wait, who invited Callis in here? Callis says he deserves that, but after grabbing the wrist, falling over, he’s very embarrassed. But that’s okay, Callis said he will make this right. Callis is sorry, he shouldn’t have gotten in between Hangman and Omega.

Hangman is a great talent, so he is welcome to come around, and Callis sincerely apologizes. Really? But then the BCC attacks Hangman! Callis is stunned but still holding out his hand as the BCC stomp away! Callis says hello, and then Moxley DECKS him! Claudio takes Callis’ sunglasses. Yuta says he looks good. The BCC then head off, and Callis sits up, his eyebrow busted open! What is to become of Omega’s focus now with all this and his match up next?

 

IWGP United States Heavyweight Championship: Kenny Omega VS Jeff Cobb!

The Cleaner won this title off Will Ospreay at WrestleKingdom 17 back in January, but the Imperial Unit claims Omega’s been ducking him. Will Cobb’s return to stateside help him bring this title back to NJPW and the United Empire? Or will he not be able to stop the God of Pro-Wrestling?

Backstage, Tony Schiavone asks Omega about what happened to Callis & Hangman. What? Omega didn’t even know! And now he has this title match… Omega says he has to focus on that. The long introduction is trimmed down, the belt is raised, and we see if Omega keeps his reign going past three months!

Fans fire up with the bell and chant for “KENNY! KENNY!” Cobb tells Omega there’s no more running, and the two circle. They tie up, Cobb puts Omega on the ropes, but the ref counts. Cobb lets off, and aims his hang loose a la Omega’s finger gun. Omega shrugs that off, shoots in to waistlock then headlock. Cobb powers up and carries Omega but Omega holds on. Cobb powers out, they RAM shoulders, but neither man falls! Omega sighs and dusts himself off. Omega runs, RAMS Cobb, but Cobb is solid! Omega runs, ducks the lariat, but Cobb is too big to scoop! Cobb CLUBS Omega on the back then runs. Omega jumps to RANA!

Cobb bails out, fans start the Terminator Drums! Omega BLASTS Cobb off the apron, runs, then FLIES! Direct hit at the ramp, and fans fire up! Omega clutches the bad ribs but he’s still feeling good as he puts Cobb in. Omega then hurries to slide, run and KOTARO KRUSHER! Omega waits on Cobb, Cobb stands, and Omega scoops! But he falls over! Cobb squishes Omega, then deadlift suplex to run and SLAM! Cobb stomps the bad ribs, then stands Omega up to ROCK him with rights. Cobb puts Omega in a corner, throws body shots, then whips corner to corner hard! Omega bounces off buckles and hits the mat.

Cobb mocks the Terminator Drums, then he stands on Omega’s back! Omega is a surfboard but the ref reprimands. Cobb steps off and Omega bails out to the apron. Cobb kicks Omega off the apron, goes out after him, but Omega CHOPS back! And CHOPS again! Cobb CHOPS in return! And RAMS him into barriers! Cobb brings Omega around to CLUB him on the back. Omega CHOPS again! And again! And again! Cobb picks Omega up to POST him! Fans are torn, Cobb breaks the count, and Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Cobb fetches Omega, brings him around, and has the fans look as he makes Omega do the finger gun to his own face. Cobb then HEADBUTTS the bad ribs! Omega staggers, but he comes back to kick and CLUB and ROCK and JAB and fire off! Omega whips but Cobb reverses, and Omega hits the barriers hard! Cobb refreshes the count again, storms up on Omega, and puts him back in. Fans rally but Cobb steps on Omega. Cobb shrugs, KNEES Omega in the side, then stalks him to ropes. Cobb CHOKES Omega on the ropes! The ref counts, Cobb lets off, and Cobb argues that he couldn’t hear. Cobb stands Omega up to kick him in the ribs!

Omega goes to a corner, he throws elbows and haymakers and jabs! Omega JABS and JABS and JABS, but Cobb throat chops! The ref reprimands but Cobb just drags Omega up and brings him around. Omega throws body shots and haymakers! Cobb just takes them! Omega CHOPS, fires up, and CHOPS again! And again! Omega runs but Cobb reels him in to CLUB him in the back! Cobb then picks Omega up for a BEARHUG! Omega endures, Dynamite returns to single picture, and the fans rally up. Omega endures, BELL CLAPS Cobb, then BELL CLAPS again! Omega ROCKS Cobb with forearm after forearm!

Omega BOOTS Cobb to a corner, then goes to the opposite. Cobb runs in but Omega BOOTS him! And then SLAM DUNKS! Cover, TWO! Omega drags Cobb up but he can’t lift for the fireman’s carry! Cobb lifts Omega up, ATHLETIC PLEX! Omega sputters and writhes but Cobb watches from a corner. Cobb runs in to SPLASH! Cobb runs, but Omega follows to- NO, Cobb catches the back body block! Cobb brings Omega around to GERMAN SUPLEX! But Omega lands on his feet!! Omega spins to POLISH HAMMER! Omega spins again, but Cobb JABS! Cobb shakes out his hand, he hit Omega harder than he thought.

Cobb runs, but Omega catches the lariat to a backslide! But Cobb rolls through, only to get a V-TRIGGER!! Cover, TWO!! Cobb survives being hit at pointblank range! Omega gets up as Cobb goes to ropes, and Omega says BANG! Omega runs side to side, but into a DROPKICK!! Cobb gets air and shocks fans! Cobb drags Omega up to a fireman’s carry, but Omega slips off to full nelson! SNAP DRAGON! Cobb staggers up, into another SNAP DRAGON! Omega grits his teeth, the fans are thunderous, and Omega stalks Cobb. Omega full nelsons again, but Cobb breaks free! Omega BOOTS Cobb, then V-TRIGGERS!

Omega full nelsons, SNAP DRAGON! Cobb is right up!? LARIAT!! St. Louis is electric as both men are down! A standing count starts, both men stir, and we reach 5 of 10. Omega and Cobb find each other, and they stand by pulling each other’s hair. Omega throws a forearm, but Cobb throws it back. Omega CHOPS, but Cobb throws a haymaker! Omega spins to CHOP! Cobb ROCKS Omega! They go back and forth, faster and faster, haymaker for haymaker, until Cobb throws a body shot! Omega staggers to a corner, Cobb FLYING UPPERCUTS! Cobb puts Omega up top, climbs up after him, but Omega ridge hands and HEADBUTTS!

Cobb wobbles, but he comes back with a HEADBUTT! Both men wobble, but Cobb stands up tall. Cobb brings Omega up to stalling SUPERPLEX!! Fans are thunderous again while both men are down! Fans hope these two “FIGHT FOREVER!” but it has to end somehow. Cobb crawls to a cover, TWO, into the GACHIMUCHI MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!! Omega survives but Cobb is too tired to be shocked. Cobb stands, waits on Omega, and he mocks Omega with the BANG loose! Cobb runs, to steal the V-TRIGGER!! Cobb then hoists Omega up into an Electric Chair Lift!? But Omega slips off!!

Omega tries but the ribs won’t let him lift! Cobb reels Omega in, TOUR OF- NO, Omega slips free! Ripcord V-TRIGGER! V-TRIGGER at the ropes! Omega fires up, fans are with him, and Omega drags Cobb back up. Omega uses the ropes to help with the Electric Chair Lift! ONE WINGED ANGEL!! Cover, Omega wins!!

Winner: Kenny Omega, by pinfall (still IWGP United States Heavyweight Champion)

The Best Bout Machine pulls off another instant classic! But with all the damage he’s taken, he’s a sitting duck as the BCC are back! Omega sees Moxley, Claudio & Yuta flank the ring. No Bucks, no Hangman, and the BCC creep in. But wait! Bryan Danielson is here! The American Dragon returns for the first time since Revolution, and he slides into the ring. He has his BCC teammates stand down and fans are fired up! “YES! YES! YES!” The BCC back down but they’re confused as to why Bryan is defending Omega. Bryan looks to Omega and Omega is unsure what to make of this, too. Fans chant “NO! NO! NO!” but Bryan offers a hand.

Fans cheer while Omega is surprised. Omega accepts the hand, and Bryan helps Omega stand. But Yuta gets on the apron! Omega rushes at him, Yuta gets away, and now Bryan takes aim!? Omega turns around into a BUSAIKU KNEE!! The American Dragon was just suckering Omega in! And now, LEBELL LOCK! And then BCC stomp away on Omega’s legs! Fans can’t believe it! Brandon Cutler, Michael Nakazawa and security all rush up, but Moxley, Claudio & Yuta take them all down while Bryan continues to make Omega suffer! Bryan even holds on with just one arm as he holds Omega’s nose closed! Omega passes out!

Fans boo as Bryan stands with his Blackpool Combat Club. They celebrate together, then Bryan shouts in Omega’s face, “You are everything that is wrong with professional wrestling!” Bryan has shown his true colors, will the BCC soon own AEW and ROH?

 

The Gunns speak.

Austin tells FTR, “There’s no doubt that you guys are one of the best tag teams we’ll ever see in this generation. The sad thing about it is, it took you 19 years to get to that point. It took me and Colten two.” Colten says they’ve already held the AEW World Tag Team Championships as many times as FTR have. The Gunns have busted their asses for these titles, and showed up week after week. Meanwhile, FTR took time off to bitch and moan and politic for a title shot. And these guys are heroes to fans? FTR, look deep into their eyes when the Gunns tell you this. “You used to be our heroes. Then we met you. Now we hate you. And we do not respect you.”

“We’ve respected one person our whole lives, that’s our father. And you saw what we did to him.” “What the hell do you think we’re going to do to you?” Next week, AEW Careers VS AEW Titles. And this time, FTR’s tagline will make sense. Because it’ll be #TopGuysOut of the company. Will the Gunns prove they’re not just Ass Boys? Will they prove they’re worthy champions?

 

AEW International Championship: Orange Cassidy VS The Butcher w/ The Blade!

From one title to another, Dynamite gets Freshly Squeezed! But will Cassidy finally be able to beat Andy Williams in 1v1 competition? Or will the Superbad Squad’s burly Butcher bring home the gold?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we’ll see if The Butcher is… whatever.

But wait! Blade attacks Cassidy from behind! He and Butcher stomp away and the fans boo. The ref reprimands, but Blade brings out a crowbar! The ref tells him no, and that Blade is EJECTED! Fans cheer but Butcher still stomps away on Cassidy! Blade leaves but he takes his time, and the ref stops Butcher from getting his shots in. Butcher backs off, Cassidy crawls to a corner and takes off his denim jacket. Fans rally for Cassidy while the ref checks him. Cassidy still wants to go, and he throws off his shirt. Cassidy stands, raises his shirt, and tells Butcher, “Bring it on!” The bell rings and Butcher runs in, only for Cassidy to dodge!

ORANGE- NO, Butcher swats the punch away! Butcher kicks but Cassidy dodges to Alabama Lift! Butcher is too big, he pushes Cassidy away, but Cassidy comes back with the “devastating” shin kicks! Butcher kicks low, CLUBS and CHOPS Cassidy down! Cassidy gets to a corner, Butcher whips him corner to corner, but Cassidy goes up and out. Butcher runs in but Cassidy bumps him off buckles. Cassidy runs Butcher side to side to bounce him off more buckles! And then again! Cassidy climbs while Butcher staggers, for the CROSSBODY! But Butcher catches him! Butcher pops Cassidy up, to TOSS him onto the corner!

Butcher drags Cassidy off the corner, to GUTBUSTER! Cassidy flops out of the ring but Butcher goes out after him. Butcher stalks Cassidy, kicks him around, grabs Cassidy’s legs, and stomps him! Butcher then deadlifts Cassidy, to SWING him into barriers! And again! And again! Butcher drops Cassidy and goes to the ring while fans boo, and Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Cassidy clutches his ribs, the ref starts the ring count, and Butcher paces around. Cassidy drags himself up, crawls to the ring, and Butcher watches. Cassidy rolls into the ring, and right into stomps! The ref counts, Butcher drags Cassidy from the ropes to stomp his hand! Cassidy clutches the fingers but Butcher whips him hard into the corner! Cassidy falls to the mat, and Butcher drops a HEADBUTT! Butcher stands Cassidy up to CLUB him down! Butcher KNEES Cassidy in the back, and again. Fans rally while Butcher stomps Cassidy, and then Butcher drags Cassidy up for a BEARHUG! Cassidy endures the squeeze!

Cassidy throws down elbows, but Butcher lets go to KNEE him low! Cassidy falls over, but Butcher drags him back up, for a BACKBREAKER! Butcher holds Cassidy in place in a backbreaker rack! Cassidy still endures, and the fans rally behind him. Cassidy throws hands, but Butcher just picks him up for a SIDEWALK SLAM! Butcher soaks up the heat, then runs as Dynamite returns to single picture. Cassidy avoids the leg drop, brother! Cassidy runs in to tilt-o-whirl, but Butcher KNEES the DDT away, then LARIATS Cassidy inside-out! Cover, TWO! Butcher snarls, he grabs both legs and ties them up, TEXAS CLOVERLEAF!

Cassidy endures as Butcher sits deep on the hold! Cassidy reaches out, crawls his way forward, but Butcher brings him back! Cassidy uses that to tuck, roll and swing up to throw hands! Butcher just shifts his grip to deadlift POWER- NO, Cassidy CLAWS Butcher’s face! Butcher lets go, and Cassidy tries to Alabama Lift! Butcher is still too big, and he lifts Cassidy again. Cassidy slips free of the bomb to run in and ORANGE- NO, Butcher dodges! CHOKE SLAM BACKBREAKER! And then, suplex into- STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE! Cassidy runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges, tilt-o-whirls and- NO, Butcher blocks and swings Cassidy around again! But Cassidy DDTs out of it!!

Both men are down, Cassidy crawls to the cover, TWO! Cassidy hurries to the corner, climbs up, and fans rally. Cassidy leaps, DEEP IMPACT! Cover, TWO! Butcher survives but Cassidy grits his teeth. Off comes the elbow pad! Butcher distracts the ref, here comes Blade! CROWBAR TO THE BACK!! Blade runs away, Butcher hits the CHOKE SLAM BACKBREAKER!! Cover, TWO?!?! Cassidy survives and shocks everyone! And here come Best Friends! Chuck & Trent beat up Blade! They send him into steel steps! They also take the crowbar away. The ref reprimands the Best Friends for being ringside, but Butcher shoves the ref down as he storms out after them!

Trent SMACKS Butcher with the crowbar! Chuck puts Butcher back in, ORANGE PUNCH!! Butcher wobbles, into BEACH BREAK!! Cover, Cassidy wins!!

Winner: Orange Cassidy, by pinfall (still AEW International Champion)

The Kentucky Gentleman & #JustTrent help Cassidy hold on, cheating the cheaters out of this one! And of course, they HUG!! You GOT to give the people what they want! But will Cassidy continue to give the people top tier title matches like this?

 

Jade Cargill speaks.

The undefeated AEW TBS Champion stands with Leila Grey, the beat-up Mark Sterling, and Mark’s new assistant. “This Taya girl is a huge problem here at AEW. Not only did we serve her a Cease & Desist, she ignored it!” Leila echoes that Taya ignored it, and Jade shouts, “But not just that! She used MY move, the Jaded, on MY Baddie, but not just that, but on my lawyer! This is truly an outrage!” Leila echoes, “Outrage.” Sterling says it is outrageous that Taya broke Sterling’s nose. But that’s why this week, he brought his assistant and processor.

They know Taya is set for another match on Rampage, and if she uses the Jaded, the chicken wing facebuster, they will send the official court order and SUE her! Ow, his nose… Jade says Taya thinks she’s the only goddess. But understand this: Jade is THE Goddess here in AEW! Because she’s #ThatBitch. Now, Sterling, go get the job done. Will La Wera Loca listen to any of this? Or will Rampage be another outrage?

 

Juice Robinson speaks.

“Friday night, on Rampage, Rock Hard Juice Robinson against Action Andretti. But it’s not gonna be the wrestling match you signed up for, Action. You’re in a fight against somebody who’s real mad. Who’s got tunnel vision on right now for Ricky Starks! Every punch is gonna be for Ricky Starks. You’re gonna be feeling it, Action. You do yourself a favor, Ricky Starks, pull up a chair and you watch the example I make out of Action Andretti. And you need to know that that’s just a small pinprick of the ass kicking that I’m gonna give you in New York City!” The Booster is fired up, but will he be ready for Action?

 

Ruby Soho w/ The Outcasts VS Willow Nightingale!

The Runaway ran away from all the good will she had built up in AEW, all because she wasn’t number one. She ran back to what was familiar in some old friends who’d been where she’s been, not caring what her new friends thought about that. Will Willow show Ruby that it’s better to be sweet than sour? Or will Ruby show Willow there’s No Future for goodie two shoes?

The bell rings and Ruby bails out. Fans boo but Ruby just swaggers around as she regroups with Saraya & Storm. Saraya has the ref keep Willow back, but fans rally behind Willow. Willow herself looks conflicted since she thought Ruby was better than this. Ruby and Willow tie up, go around, and Willow puts Ruby in the corner. Ruby wants Willow off her, and the ref has Willow back away. Ruby goes out to the apron to talk with Saraya & Storm, but Willow drags her back in! Fans fire up and Willow starts to tell Ruby off, but Ruby SLAPS her! Willow scowls, but Ruby stomps the foot, wrenches, but Willow blocks No Future!

Willow stands Ruby up but Ruby kicks low. Ruby reels Willow in but Willow shoves her away. Ruby rebounds, tilt-o-whirls, but Willow blocks that! Willow swings Ruby for a SIDEWALK SLAM! And then a RUNNING SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up as Willow brings Ruby up. Willow scoops and SLAMS, and she scowls as she scoops and SLAMS again! And then again! And then again! Willow’s rage is bubbling up, and she CHOPS Ruby in a corner! Willow bumps Ruby off buckles, CHOPS again, and the Outcasts protest. Willow fires off on Ruby, the ref has her back off, and Ruby flounders away.

Fans rally behind Willow, but then Ruby asks for mercy. She wants to make up, but then she YANKS Willow into ropes! Ruby CHOKES Willow on the ropes, the ref counts, and Ruby lets off. Ruby and the ref argue, Saraya grabs Willow to fire off knees! Fans boo but Saraya scurries away. Willow staggers into a ROUNDHOUSE! Ruby smirks and fist bumps her buddies. Ruby KICKS Willow in the side, brings her around, and reels her in. Ruby snap suplexes Willow, covers, TWO! Ruby gets in Willow’s face and smothers her! The ref counts, Ruby lets off, and Ruby CHOKES Willow on the ropes again! The ref counts, Ruby lets off, and Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Ruby CHOKES Willow again, mockingly saying they’re best friends. Ruby CLUBS Willow, argues with the ref, and Storm CHOKES Willow! Storm scurries away, and Ruby puts Willow in a corner. Ruby CHOPS Willow, but Willow comes back with body shots! Ruby CLAWS Willow’s face to put her back in the corner. And Ruby CHOPS again! Ruby stalks Willow to another corner, stands her up, and puts some stank on the- NO, Willow blocks the chop to CHOP back! And again! And again! Ruby pulls hair to throw Willow down! The ref reprimands but the damage is done. Ruby catches her breath and clutches her stinging chest.

Ruby kicks Willow around, but Willow just scowls. Willow throws body shots but Ruby CLUBS her on the back. Ruby drags Willow up, ROCKS her, and then taunts her. Willow ROCKS Ruby! Ruby ROCKS Willow! Ruby eggs Willow on, they fire off forearms back and forth, and then Willow fireman’s carries! Ruby CLAWS Willow’s face to get free! Then Ruby throws Willow down by her hair again! Cover, ONE!! Ruby is furious and she clamps on a chinlock. Ruby squeezes tight and brings Willow down to the mat. Saraya tells fans to shut up as they’re rallying for Willow. Willow fights up but Ruby throws her down by her hair again!

Ruby puts Willow on the ropes and CHOKES her again! The ref counts, Ruby lets off, and Dynamite returns to single picture as Saraya goes after Willow again! But Willow slips free to ROCK Saraya, and POST her! Saraya falls, Storm hurries to help her. Ruby whips, Willow reverses and then runs in, to back body block and clothesline in the corner! Snapmare and BOOT! Willow fires up, the fans are with her, and Willow whips to then SPINEBUSTER! High stack cover, TWO! Fans fire up and Ruby again tries to ask for mercy from her old friend. Willow YANKS Ruby up into a fireman’s carry! Ruby slips free and shoves Willow away.

Willow stops from hitting buckles, turns around and dodges Ruby. Ruby elbows back, goes up and headscissors, only for Willow to pop Ruby up into a fireman’s carry! RUNNING DEATH VALLEY! Cover, TWO!! Ruby survives and Willow is seething! Ruby sits up in a daze, Willow goes to a corner and she climbs up. Fans rally, but Storm distracts! Ruby gets an arm, wrenches, SUPER NO FUTURE! And then another NO FUTURE!! Cover, TWO!?!? No one can believe it, least of all Ruby! Ruby is furious, and she drags Willow up. Ruby turns Willow around, clinches, but Willow backslides it! TWO!!!

Ruby escapes but Willow runs through the clothesline to POUNCE Ruby into ropes!! Fans are thunderous as Willow brings down the straps! Saraya & Storm are freaking out as Willow gut wrenches Ruby. Saraya distracts the ref so that Storm can drag Ruby to safety! Willow grabs at Storm, only for Ruby to roll her up! Feet on the ropes! And Storm even holds them in place! Ruby wins!!

Winner: Ruby Soho, by pinfall

The Outcasts were all over this one and Willow is furious! But Storm just CLOBBERS Willow from behind! Fans boo as the Outcasts stomp Willow! Then they bring out the spray paint! Ruby says that’s not good enough, and she goes looking under the table. She brings out a chair! Fans boo more as the stomping continues. Ruby puts Willow in a drop zone, then puts a chair around a leg! Storm rains down fists to keep Willow down, but here come Riho and Skye Blue! They slide in, and they fire fists with the Outcasts! That’s still 3v2 and Skye gets mugged by Ruby and Saraya! Storm BOOTS then DECKS Riho!

Fans boo as The Outcasts keep beating up on the heroic Skye and Riho. Ruby tosses Skye out, Storm drags Riho up, and Saraya has the spray paint! But here comes JAMIE HAYTER! The AEW Women’s World Champion rushes in, she DECKS Saraya, ROCKS Ruby, DECKS Storm, then catches Ruby for the HAYTEBREAKER! Storm stands up, into the ripcord, but Storm dodges! The Outcasts run away and fans fire up! Hayter sees Riho, and helps her stand up. These two are allied against the Outcasts, but these two are going to fight over the title next week! Riho makes the motion that she’ll be champion again, and Hayter nods respect.

Will the inaugural AEW Women’s World Champion become the first-ever two-time champion? Or will Riho learn that #HayterHitsHard?

 

BREAKING NEWS for Rampage!

On top of Juice VS Action, Sammy Guevara is in action against Konosuke Takeshita! Will the Spanish God keep pace with Jungle Boy on this #1 contender’s race? And with Best Friends back from injury, they’re back in action, going up against the House of Black’s Kings of the Black Throne! Will Brody King & Malakai Black soon send Trent & Chuck back onto the injured list? And as mentioned, Taya Valkyrie has her second match in AEW, and she’s up against Marina Shafir! Will La Wera Loca look to solve The Problem before taking on Jade Cargill?

 

Will Hobbs speaks.

“March 24th, 2023 was proclaimed Powerhouse Hobbs Day. With the Book of Hobbs already proclaimed that I was the man who was gonna crash into Wardlow’s World. Who’s the man that beat Rey Fenix? Who’s the man that beat Penta? Who’s the man that beat the legend, Christopher Daniels himself? Just like the good Book of Hobbs states, this TNT Championship will never, ever leave my waist.” The Powerhouse has spoken, will there ever be a final chapter in his story?

 

Adam Cole VS Daniel Garcia!

With AEW All Access premiering tonight, right after Dynamite, this long awaited return was right on time. Will AEW continue to be all about the boom? Or will Red Death go from Dragonslayer to major buzzkill?

The bell rings and fans chant, “ADAM COLE!” “WELCOME BACK!” Garcia shrugs that off as he talks some trash. He and Cole tie up, go around, and Cole wrenches to a wristlock. Garcia pie faces, wrenches, and wristlocks back. Cole rolls, wrenches and wristlocks again, but Garcia rolls to shoot around and waistlock for the SLAM! Garcia slaps Cole around then “kicks dirt” at him. Fans boo the disrespect but Garcia says things have changed since Cole was last in the ring. Cole keeps cool and he resets with Garcia. They feel things out, knuckle lock, and Cole shoots to a waistlock. Garcia reaches back and brings Cole into a headlock.

Cole pops out the back, headlocks in return, but Garcia powers out. Cole runs Garcia over and fans fire up. Things speed up, Garcia drops, but Cole fakes out the hurdle to headlock again. Garcia back suplexes, Cole lands on his feet but he does stumble. Cole still gets up to headlock again. Garcia powers out, Cole goes up and over in the corner, then headlocks for a takeover. Garcia tries the headscissors but Cole shrugs that off. Fans rally, Garcia pulls hair and the ref reprimands. Garcia uses the hair to get the headscissors, and he flexes while fans boo. Cole kips free, but Garcia throat chops! And then lift, PILEDRIVER!!

Cole scrambles out of the ring and Garcia wants this one called. The ref checks Cole while fans boo. Garcia soaks up the heat, fans chant “You’re a Wrestler!” and Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Garcia waits on Cole, and Cole is somehow okay to continue. Garcia grows a bit impatient, then says Cole must not be as good as he thinks. Cole slowly sits up as the count climbs, and Garcia wags his finger at the fans. Cole finally crawls to the apron but Garcia goes out after him! Garcia brings Cole back in, but Cole resists the lift to back drop Garcia away! Garcia flounders on the flour while Cole gets in the ring. Garcia drags himself up and to the apron, Cole storms over, and Garcia HOTSHOTS him away! Cole sputters, Garcia rushes in to stomp away! Garcia soaks up more heat as he roars and flexes.

Cole flounders but Garcia stands on his hair. Garcia pulls the arms to also pull the hair! The ref reprimands, Garcia stops at 4, and then he stalks Cole to ropes. Garcia CHOKES Cole while talking trash, then lets off as the ref counts. Garcia stalks Cole to a corner, brings him out, and DECKS him with a haymaker! Cole sits up in a daze while Garcia taunts him. Garcia drags Cole back up and DECKS him again! Garcia talks trash on the fans while Dynamite returns to single picture. Fans boo, Garcia brings Cole back up, but Cole throws body shots. Garcia UPPERCUTS! Cole ROCKS Garcia with a forearm, so Garcia throws a haymaker!

Cole fires off forearms and he backs Garcia down. Cole whips, Garcia reverses but Cole clotheslines! And elbows! And BOOTS! Fans fire up and Cole waits on Garcia. Fireman’s carry, but Garcia throws elbows to get free. Garcia runs, but into the fireman’s carry! USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO! Garcia kicks at Cole from below and Cole gets space. Fans rally as both men rise. Cole aims, but Garcia blocks the superkick! Garcia stands to SLAP Cole! Garcia runs, into a BOOT! Cole runs, into a BOOT! Cole PELES but misses! Garcia deadlift GERMAN SUPLEXES! Fans boo but Garcia roars and Cole writhes.

Garcia aims from a corner with a smug grin. Fans chant, “You’re a Wrestler!” but Garcia ignores that to tune up the band. Cole stands, Garcia rushes in, but Cole SUPERKICKS first! Cole pushes Garcia down to a cover, TWO!! Garcia survives but Cole goes to a corner. Cole sits Garcia up, but Garcia stops Cole from bringing the kneepad down. Cole throws hands again and again and Garcia lets go. The kneepad comes down, Cole runs, but Garcia ducks the Boom! To throw HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Then REAR NAKED CHOKE! Cole rolls back to a cover, TWO! 52 Fake Out takes out the knees!

Cole goes to a corner, goes up, and Garcia crawls over. Cole leaps, PANAMA- NO, Garcia back drops it! Cole tries to sunset flip it but Garcia has the legs! Step through, DRAGONTAMER!! Cole endures as Garcia sits deep! Cole crawls forward, reaches out, even as Garcia makes it a CALF KILLER! ROPEBREAK!! The ref counts, Garcia lets go quickly, but in frustration. Fans rally behind Cole but that upsets Garcia. Cole goes to a corner, the ref has Garcia stay back so he can check Cole. Garcia just soaks up the heat in the meantime. Cole crawls back out, Garcia reels him back in! Garcia tucks the arms, STRAITJACKET PILEDRIVER!! Cover, TWO!?!?

Garcia is furious but the fans are thunderous that Cole survives! Cole goes to a corner, Garcia runs in, but into a SUPERKICK! Cole goes back up, PANAMA SUNRISE!! But Cole isn’t done! Garcia sits up in a daze, Cole runs and BOOM!! Cover, Cole wins!!

Winner: Adam Cole, by pinfall

The comeback is complete! Cole’s head was a bull’s eye, but Cole’s head was always in the match. And here comes Britt Baker to celebrate with her man! They even kiss! Gold ‘n’ black streamers fly, will this be a new era for the Undisputed One?

Wait, here comes Chris Jericho! The Ocho, the Wizard, Le Champion storms right to the ring to check on Garcia. Fans sing Judas as Jericho helps Garcia out of the ring. Jericho glares at Cole, then helps Garcia up the ramp and out of those streamers. Jericho is tempted to glance back at Cole but chooses not to. Does the Jericho Appreciation Society have a new pro-wrestler to target in Adam Cole, BAYBAY?


My Thoughts:

A great AEW, and given AEW All Access debuts tonight, it makes good business sense for Cole to main event. It was his big return, he is a big part of the All Access material, and it was a great win in a great match with Garcia. Jericho coming out at the end to try and steal the spotlight for just a moment of course is a sign that Cole is going to feud with Jericho going towards Double or Nothing, and that is going to be great stuff. Good quick promo from Hobbs, and him still mentioning Wardlow, they’re just making sure we all understand this is still gonna circle back to Hobbs VS Wardlow even though there should’ve been a way to cap this off before. Darn you, QT.

Really good match from Ruby VS Willow, but of course the Outcasts get at Willow the whole time. Willow loses but it is technically protected because of the interference, and we get another moment of Riho and Skye Blue making a save. It didn’t work out, so good move to have Hayter go out there. Hayter VS Riho happening next week will be good stuff, probably up until The Outcasts interfere. Then somehow, someway, we’ll finally get Blood & Guts set up for the Women’s Division. And then decent promo from Jade and her faction. Between only booking one women’s match a show and stretching things towards special episodes or PPVs, this is gonna be a build that’s too long, again.

Decent promo from Juice, but it kinda flies in the face of Juice saying he isn’t gonna wrestle in Missouri since he hates Missouri. He should’ve thrown in that he is being forced into this. Juice will definitely win against Action, and maybe Juice beats up on Action so that Ricky Starks shows up to chase Juice off, thereby hyping up their match for next Wednesday in Long Island. Good promo from The Gunns to hype up the tag team title match next week. Obviously since that match is happening after WrestleMania, it would seem FTR isn’t leaving to go back to WWE,  they’re likely going to win to take those titles back.

Really fun montage of The Acclaimed hanging out with Menard & Parker in St. Louis. I do like that The Acclaimed is stringing Menard & Parker along, they’re definitely not joining the JAS. That will upset them and the JAS will want a match where I’m sure the stipulation is, if The Acclaimed loses, they must join the JAS. And then the JAS will lose that and look like dummies. Anyway, great title match from Cassidy VS Butcher. Good overbooking as Blade, Trent and Chuck get involved, and this was a great return moment for Best Friends. Trent & Chuck VS Malakai & Brody on Friday is going to be really good stuff, and maybe Best Friends challenge for the trios titles at some point.

Really good stuff out of this BCC VS Elite story they’re building. The BCC of course beat Castle & The Boys, but they really up the Heel heat with the ambush. And then they beat up Hangman and bust open Callis, which was really surprising. Face Moxley bled all the time, but Heel Moxley makes everyone else bleed. Omega VS Cobb was awesome stuff, but I suppose it’s fine that Omega wins. Bryan making his return was a great surprise, and then what a wild moment with him turning to be on the same page as the rest of the BCC. And right there is this year’s match for Men’s Blood & Guts: the full BCC against the OG Elite, Omega, Hangman & Bucks, and that is gonna be awesome.

And of course, great stuff in the opening. JB VS Hardy was really good, and it tied into The Firm’s story with Hook, which did have the #JungleHook story on the side. MJF and JB had a great promo segment to follow, and I have a feeling MJF is gonna have segments like that with the other Young Pillars before we get the official #1 contender. Sammy VS Konosuke on Rampage is going to be awesome stuff, and I hope Callis comes around to keep on that whole recruiting of Konosuke. I would think Sammy will win because he needs to keep pace with JB, and then Darby will also win a big match on Dynamite or Ramage to do the same. Honestly, this needs to end in a Triple Threat of JB VS Darby VS Sammy to name THE #1 contender, that’d be the best course of action.

My Score: 8.8/10


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