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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (6/24/22)

Ricochet gets his rematch!

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SmackDown 2022

Can the One and Only be the one again?

Two SmackDowns ago, Ricochet lost the WWE Intercontinental Champion. But can he win it back before Money in the Bank? Or will Der Ring General still reign?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifier: Sami Zayn VS Shinsuke Nakamura; Sami wins and advances to MITB.
  • Dance Challenge: The New Day VS Jinder Mahal & Shanky; No Contest.
  • 2v1 Handicap Match: Raquel Rodriguez & Lacey Evans VS Sonya Deville; Raquel & Lacey win.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: GUNTHER w/ Ludwig Kaiser VS Ricochet; Gunther wins and retains the title.
  • Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifier: Shotzi Blackheart VS Aliyah Tamina; Shotzi wins and advances to MITB.
  • Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifier Tag: Drew McIntyre & Sheamus VS The Usos; McIntyre & Sheamus win and still advance to MITB.

PLAY BY PLAY

Drew McIntyre heads to the ring!

The Scottish Warrior raises his sword for the pyro, and fans are fired up to see him! McIntyre may not have won against Sheamus in their Money in the Bank qualifier, but both he and the Celtic Warrior are going to Las Vegas because of just how badass they are! McIntyre welcomes Austin, Texas and the world to the show, and says when he was first drafted to SmackDown, he was willing to fight up from the bottom and reach the top to get a world title match. “And yet, no matter how many wins I seem to get, no matter how many moments I make, our Tribal Champion just keeps ducking me!”

So McIntyre will just have to force the issue and become Mr. MITB! And speaking of earning title matches, Brock Lesnar showed up and just has one at SummerSlam. But that’s alright, good for him, that’s the Brock way. McIntyre does things the hard way! McIntyre will be watching them very closely, and hopes those lads tear each other apart in the Last Man Standing match. Use all the weapons in the building, because whoever survives, just expect Mr. MITB to Claymore your ass! But wait, here comes Sheamus! Ridge Holland keeps Pete Dunne back as Sheamus mocks McIntyre’s claim, “I’m going to Claymore your ass~!”

McIntyre dares Sheamus to get in the ring and see what happens. But Sheamus tells “McHaggis” to cool his jets. But yeah, that Last Man Standing match is the perfect chance to cash-in after Brock and Roman destroy each other. But McIntyre is off his rocker if he thinks he’s the one to do it. Sheamus says McIntyre is only in this match because Adam Pearce felt sorry for him! The truth is, McIntyre doesn’t belong! Fans boo but Sheamus says McIntyre is a bigger bust than that new recruit to the Longhorns, Arch Manning! Fans boo more but Sheamus says the truth hurts.

So let’s be honest, these two go back a long way. McIntyre’s experience with the MITB contract is someone else cashing in on him and taking a title. Oof, that must’ve been rough. But ol’ Sheamy is a former Mr. MITB! And wouldn’t ya know, the man HE cashed in on was none other than Roman Bleedin’ Reigns! But then “Ladies and gentlemen… My name is Paul Heyman. And I serve as Special Counsel to your Tribal Chief, the Undisputed WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion, Roman… Reigns! The same Roman Reigns as you two have so aptly described, will defend the Undisputed Title at SummerSlam against BRRROCK. LESNARRR… In a Last Man Standing match.

“A Last Man Standing match, I might add, that will not be won by Brock… Lesnar…NO! The victory in that match and still Undisputed Champion: Roman. Reigns.” Fans boo but Heyman says there is a problem. Even though Roman is the GOAT, the Greatest Of All Time, after a Last Man Standing match with Brock Lesnar, Roman Reigns will be vulnerable to a cash-in of the MITB contract by someone like Sheamus or McIntyre. And that’s not a knock on the Tribal Chief. Even Lesnar will be vulnerable, not that he has a chance of winning! The point Heyman is making is that the champion, Roman, will be vulnerable, and as Sheamus said, it has happened before.

Heyman says he is here to ensure it won’t happen again. Don’t boo him! McIntyre wants Heyman to get tot he point. Heyman says he is here with “this great man, this top executive, this man whose reputation is beyond reproach” Adam Pearce, because Pearce has an important announcement to make. Pearce tells McIntyre and Sheamus that it has come to his attention that he was perhaps… a bit “hasty” in his decision to put them both in the MITB Ladder match, since neither of them lost yet neither of them won their qualifier.

“And after some, shall we say, influence by Mr. Heyman, it is my duty to inform you that WWE Management has decided to overrule my decision. Gentlemen, neither of you will be a part of the MITB ladder match.” Sheamus says Pearce is spineless! HOWEVER, there is a path forward! They can both qualifier together, so long as they put their grudge aside and team together to defeat the Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions, the Usos! Jimmy & Jey make their way out while Heyman is grinning ear to ear. The Usos are doing the dirty work of the Head of the Table, but will the Celtic Connection make a one night stand against them?

 

Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifier: Sami Zayn VS Shinsuke Nakamura!

The Honorary Uce kinda got the Tribal Chief into that match with Matt Riddle last week, but he looks to redeem himself and even be an insurance policy. Kayla Braxton interviews Sami at gorilla to ask him how the King of Strong Style is waiting. Sami says this is going to be a great night for the Bloodline. The Usos have a chance to rid the MITB match of Drew McIntyre and Sheamus, which will happen. And why? Because they- no, “we” always do what’s right for Roman. Sami can say that cuz he’s an honorary member of the Bloodline. So he is dedicating this match to the Tribal Chief! He will BEAT Nakamura, go to Vegas and climb the ladder and take the contract as Mr. MITB!

And then cash-in on Lesnar or Roman at SummerSlam? No no no, don’t put words in his mouth, Kayla. That is not why Sami is doing this. He isn’t going to cash-in on Roman. He is doing this to protect Roman! Sami’s music hits, he heads out, but will he be heading to MITB?

The bell rings and Sami rushes in, but into a rolling ARMBAR! Sami flails, reaches, and gets the ROPEBREAK! Nakamura lets off and follows Sami to ropes. Nakamura fires off shots, KICKS Sami to a corner, then KICKS him again! Sami staggers around, he blocks a kick but not the ENZIGURI! Nakamura sees Sami go to another corner, runs in, but blocks boots. Nakamura puts Sami in the ropes, ROUNDHOUSE and SLIDING GERMAN! Fans fire up and Nakamura slides in to then dodge and DYNAMIC DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Sami is still in this but Nakamura drags him right up. Sami gets away and out of the ring.

Fans boo but Nakamura pursues. Sami lurks and kicks Nakamura low, to then POST him! And EXPLODER into barriers! Fans chant “SAMI SUCKS!” while he leaves Nakamura behind. The ring count is 5 of 10, then 7! Nakamura manages to flounder up at 8 and he slides in at 9.9! Fans fire up and Sami is furious about the count! But then Nakamura cradles, TWO!! Sami escapes, and he CLOBBERS Nakamura! Sami is upset about that other count, and he stomps Nakamura in frustration. Sami stands on Nakamura’s neck but lets off as the ref counts. Nakamura gets up but Sami reels him in to whip to a corner.

Fans chant for Nakamura as Sami runs in at the corner. Nakamura BOOTS Sami, then goes up. Sami blocks the kick to TOSS Nakamura out to the floor! Fans boo while Nakamura is down in a heap, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and fans rally as Nakamura endures. Sami throws him down then talks trash. Fans boo, Sami goes up a corner, but Nakamura anchors a leg! Sami kicks at Nakamura and Nakamura staggers away. Sami leaps, into an ENZIGURI! Fans fire up as both men are down! Nakamura crawls to a cover, TWO! Sami and Nakamura slowly rise, Nakamura fires off a strike fest! Knee and AX KICK! Nakamura runs, but Sami scoops for a MICHINOKU DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Nakamura survives and Sami can’t believe it! Sami is furious with the ref but he drags Nakamura to a drop zone.

Sami goes up the corner, fans boo but Nakamura trips Sami up this time! Nakamura climbs up after Sami, fans rally up as Sami flails and throws body shots. Sami CLUBS Nakamura down with elbows then headbutts him away. Sami adjusts, but Nakamura trips him up worse! Sami just landed on his honorary Uce! Nakamura aims, runs in, but is sent into a buckle! Cover, with feet on the ropes! The ref sees it! Sami is upset but the ref IS doing his job! Sami keeps arguing but Nakamura climbs up, FLYING KNEE! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives and he swings, misses, Nakamura kicks but Sami ducks, only for the WHEEL KICK to hit!

Both men are down and fans rally up. Nakamura gets back to a corner, takes aim and “YAO~!” But Sami runs away! Nakamura goes right out after him, to KINSHASA on the outside! Sami is in a daze but Nakamura has to get him in the ring! Well, the ring count is climbing, Nakamura could leave Sami down. Nakamura puts Sami in at 6, slides in at 8, HELLUVA KICK OUTTA NOWHERE!! Sami covers, Sami wins!!

Winner: Sami Zayn, by pinfall (advances to MITB)

The locker room leader snatches victory from the jaws of defeat! Nakamura is furious, but is he completely out of the running? And as for Sami, will he keep his word by simply keeping the MITB contract out of the hands of the Bloodline’s enemies?

 

Dance Challenge: The New Day VS Jinder Mahal & Shanky!

Ya bois, Xavier Woods & Kofi Kingston, are giving the Modern Day Maharaja and Skyscraping Shanky a rematch, but you’re reading that right. It won’t be a normal match, it’ll be all about the groove! Will Jinder let Shanky embrace the music in his heart if it means getting a win? We find out, after the break.

SmackDown returns as Jinder & Shanky make their entrance, and then the New Day get the mics to say, “Hold on, hold on, hold on.” “Hold on hold on hold on.” “Hold onhold onhold on.” “Hodohodohodo.” Woods says that last week, they beat these two clean as soap. Who wants to see this match again? Who who who who? NOBODY~! Ya bois the NEW~ DAY~ don’t do rematch after rematch after rematch, it just makes no sense. But more importantly, they have a bone to pick with Jinder. Jinder took away something from all of us that we all wanted to see: The Skyscraping, Dancing Machine SHANKY~! Fans cheer, they do like the dance.

So the good people of Austin, Texas are going to get what everyone wants. Do they want to see the dancing Shanky? They do! Do they? THEY DO! So then, give ’em what they want. Woods plays his trombone, and Shanky gets his groove. The music hits and Shanky really gets into it! But Jinder is mad again! He tells Shanky to stop goofing around, but Shanky shoves Jinder away! Jinder leaves, letting Shanky dance like a fool. Well that’s fine! Jinder walking out on Shanky like he did on 3MB! But then wait, what horn is that? That wasn’t the trombone. That’s the WAR HORN! The Viking Raiders are coming!

New Day and Shanky are ready, but where are Erik & Ivar? BOOM, the pyro goes off, but where are they? The Viking Raiders attack from behind! They CLOBBER Shanky, then they go after New Day! Erik is after Kofi, Ivar is after Woods! The Viking Raiders are fully embracing their heritage, and Ivar feeds Woods to Erik’s ELBOW! Then Ivar HEEL KICKS Kofi down! Fans boo but the Viking Raiders aren’t done! They get Kofi up for a DOUBLE POWERBOMB!! And then they drag Woods up, and Erik sends Woods up to Ivar on the top rope! SUPER POWERSLAM!! The raid has begun, will there be blood and gold in their future?

 

Adam Pearce sees his text messages.

And then Sonya Deville walks. He asks her how she’s been, and she says better than him. She saw him out there take McIntyre & Sheamus out of the MITB match after just putting them in. It gave her secondhand embarrassment. Not that he has to explain it to her, but these decisions come from above his head. Oh, a classic Pearce excuse. But what IS his excuse for treating the Women’s Division? What? Oh, he doesn’t know? Well, she shouldn’t say. But if she were him, she would want to know if someone was saying if she was in over her head. Is there a reason she’s here? Yes, several.

First, she’s been back on SmackDown for weeks and hasn’t had one match! Yet this Raquel Rodriguez walks in from some ranch in Texas and gets a MITB qualifier? Then “crocodile tears” Lacey Evans, after being gone a year, comes back and she gets a qualifier! Yet, Sonya? Just nothing? She is asking as a superstar for some respect! And for Pearce to not take it out on her that HIS in-ring career was a failure. Oh, didn’t he tell her? She’s in the ring with Lacey Evans and Raquel. If she wants competition, then she has a Handicap match, and that’s NEXT. Now excuse him. Sonya stuck her foot in her mouth, will she be able to get it out in order to survive what’s coming?

 

2v1 Handicap Match: Raquel Rodriguez & Lacey Evans VS Sonya Deville!

Big Mami Cool and the Model Soldier are already in the Women’s MITB Ladder match on behalf of SmackDown, but they did earn their spots. Will they show Sonya exactly how they did that? Or will Sonya find a way to survive her own karma?

SmackDown returns and Sonya makes her entrance, but with back-up. Shayna Baszler & Xia Li are following her, because they have bones to pick with the women who eliminated them from the running. The ref makes sure only Sonya is in the ring, and the bell rings. Lacey starts with Sonya, ties up, and Lacey trips Sonya to cover. ONE, Sonya avoids a sweep but Lacey blocks a kick! Lacey drops an elbow, covers, ONE! Shayna distracts Raquel just as Lacey wants a tag, and Sonya rolls Lacey up! Lacey slips out, and UPPERCUTS Sonya down! Sonya flounders, Shayna taunts Raquel, but Lacey drop toeholds Sonya down!

Lacey runs, Xia sweeps at her and Lacey glares at her, only for Sonya to CHOP BLOCK her leg! Sonya drags Lacey up, throws her down, then runs in to KNEE Lacey down! Cover, Raquel breaks it! Raquel keeps her eye on Shayna but she calls to Lacey. Fans rally up, Lacey crawls, but Sonya gets Lacey’s leg then her hair! Sonya brings Lacey around, but Lacey breaks free. Sonya jumps another leg sweep but Lacey ducks the roundhouse! DOUBLE BOOTS take both women down! Fans rally up while Raquel coaches Lacey. Lacey crawls, Sonya has no one, hot tag to Raquel! Fans fire up as Raquel ROCKS Sonya, then knees her low!

Raquel UPPERCUTS Sonya, then runs her over! Raquel drags Sonya up but Sonya kicks back! Sonya runs, but Raquel scoops her to a SLAM! Fans fire up and Raquel drags Sonya up again. Another scoop, and a LAWN DART in the corner! Sonya wobbles into the TEXAN- NO, Shayna distracts! Raquel drops Sonya, swipes at Shayna, but Sonya runs in to ROCK Raquel! Lacey tags in, Raquel blocks the punches to then whip Sonya into the WOMAN’S RIGHT! Cover, Lacey & Raquel win!

Winners: Lacey Evans & Raquel Rodriguez

But then Xia and Shayna attack! They all brawl, fans boo as Xia and Shayna have the advantage but Raquel turns it around! Sonya jumps on Raquel’s back for a SLEEPER, but Raquel stays on her feet! Xia runs in, but into a scoop and SLAM! Raquel then TOSSES Sonya, and Lacey shoves Shayna for a LARIAT! Raquel & Lacey stand tall and fans fire up, but will one of these two be this year’s Ms. MITB?

 

The Street Profits are here!

Angelo Dawkins is fired up, because next Saturday, it’s MITB! It’s Takeback Season! And while they’re here, they’re checking out the future crib to see how they’re gonna live! Oh, Los Lotharios are treating one young lady to a preview of the Kiss Cam. Sheesh! Well, alright. The Profits move on and… Drew Gulak is doing triceps lifts with the ladder! “Uncle Drew, what it do~?” Alright, alright, good workout. The Profits then come across MAD CAP MOSS! They say hey, and what Moss did to Corbin was “off the chain.” Now, this ain’t Dawkins’ expertise, but can Dawkins tell a joke? Uh, sure, go for it.

“Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back!” Dawkins sure thinks that’s a good one. Ford and Moss, not so much. But will the Profits make sure to stay serious when it comes time to take those titles from the Usos?

 

Ronda Rousey is- Wait, that’s not Ronda.

That’s Natalya in a Ronda cosplay, with a baby stroller with no baby in it! Just what is the Queen of Harts getting at here? We’ll see, after the break.

SmackDown returns and Natty has the mic. Natty pretends to be Ronda Rousey, and is sure we all know Ronda as the Baddest Woman on the Planet. There’s two reasons for that. One, Ronda doesn’t shut up about it. And two, just like her own mom, she never tapped out. But two weeks ago, Ronda almost did and here’s the footage to prove it. Natty shows us footage from a couple weeks ago, when Natty attacked the real Ronda and put on the Sharpshooter. Ronda did not tap, and it’s hard to say if she would have at all.

Back in present, Natty mocks Ronda’s punches, then says “After the incredibly brave, strong, talented and courageous Natalya almost made me submit, I realized two things: the Sharpshooter is way more deadly than the Armbar; and that I don’t stand a chance against Natalya at MITB.” So Natty, pretending to be Ronda, is going to get on her knees and then tap out right now. And also, “Ronda” wants to apologize to her fans around the world. The best thing to do right now is just hand over the SmackDown Women’s Championship to Natalya, retire, grab the diaper bag and push the stroller, and leave while she still can.

Fans boo but Natty says as a competitor, Ronda would be the SADDEST Woman on the Planet! But then here comes the REAL Ronda, and Natty is scared! Fans fire up to see the champion, and Ronda says, “Natty, that’s you? I almost didn’t recognize you without your rack out.” But obviously, while Natty can dress up like Ronda, the two of them couldn’t be any more different. But yeah, Natty’s right, Ronda isn’t gonna pass up having kids or miss a day of wrestling. But she also won’t mutilate her body chasing the industry’s impossible beauty standards. Oof… But that doesn’t mean Ronda will bend over and hand Natty a title just because Natty thinks she earned it.

That’s Natty’s problem. She thinks she’s owed something. She’s been here longer, taken more hits than anyone, and by God, Natty is a HART, we all owe her so much. But the truth is, Natty is so lacking in actual talent or charisma that despite her unrivaled pedigree and work ethic, the closest she’ll get to being a main event attraction in this company is dressing up as Ronda. Oh, nice jacket, by the way. Ronda goes and YANKS it off Natty! Natty throws the stroller! And again! And again! But Ronda blocks, they fight over it, and Natty shoves Ronda down with it! Natty goes in retreat, but will there be no running and hiding come MITB?

 

Backstage interview with Drew McIntyre & Sheamus.

Oh, and the Brutes, “Butch” and Ridge are there, too. But Sheamus keeps Pete Dunne back as Megan brings up the Celtic and Scottish Warriors will both have to put their grudge aside if they want to be back in the MITB match. Sheamus says yeah, and he is stuck with this big dorky, hairy lump of haggis dragging him down again. McIntyre says he can call Sheamus names, too! Doof! Idiot! Buffoon! Jackass! But here’s an idea: the Brutes can take the night off, McIntyre will fight the Usos on his own, and do us all a favor and get the job done. Oh, yeah, Sheamus would love to take the boys to the bar early, but the thing is, McIntyre can’t get it done on his own!

Sheamus says McIntyre is jealous of Sheamus being on the cusp of winning that MITB contract again and be the NEW World Universal Champion! The jealousy is eating McIntyre up but it is Sheamus’ time! McIntyre better bring his A Game, and Sheamus will see him out there. The Brutes head out and McIntyre corrects Sheamus that it’s the WWE Universal title. But will these two focus on the common enemy tonight?

 

Ludwig Kaiser is on stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen… Your Intercontinental Champion…! DER RING GENERAL~! GUNTHER…!” And with that, the champion makes his entrance! Will Imperium’s ruthless leader continue to “restore” this title to its former glory? Or will the One and Only be champion once again?

WWE Intercontinental Championship: GUNTHER w/ Ludwig Kaiser VS Ricochet!

SmackDown returns and Ricochet makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if Gunther can beat Ricochet twice!

Ricochet rushes Gunther at the bell and DRPKICKS him! Then Ricochet fires off fast hands in the corner, Gunther shoves him back, but Ricochet dodges the chop to fire off more forearms! Gunther blocks the kick and reels Ricochet into a scoop and SLAM! Ricochet writhes, Gunther drags him up to whip him to ropes and BOOT him down! Ludwig enjoys it as Gunther stalks Ricochet to ropes. Gunther stomps Ricochet, drags Ricochet up and EuroUppers Ricochet right down! Gunther looms over Ricochet, grinds his foot into Ricochet’s face, but Austin rallies up for Ricochet. Ricochet throws hands, goes for a leg, but Gunther sprawls to block.

Gunther then reaches out to get the leg for a HALF CRAB! And it’s deep! Ludwig says he has goosebumps watching this as Gunther shifts to an STF! Ricochet endures, moves around, reaches out, and gets the ROPEBREAK! Gunther lets off quickly and waits on Ricochet to get up. Ludwig talks trash, Gunther clinches Ricochet in the corner to EuroUpuper! Gunther whips corner to corner, runs in, but Ricochet dodges to GAMANGIRI! Ricochet springboards, but into Gunther’s arms! GERMAN SUPLEX, but Ricochet lands on his feet! ENZIGURI! Gunther stays up and he shoves Ricochet, but Ricochet JUMP KNEES!

Ricochet JUMP KNEES again! Gunther wobbles, Ricochet runs, but Gunther CLOBBERS him! Ludwig says “NEIN!” and Gunther CHOPS Ricochet! Uppercut! CHOP! Uppercut! CHOP!! GERMAN SUPLEX! Ricochet flounders up into the SHOTGUN! Gunther drags Ricochet back up, reels him in, GENERAL BOMB!! Cover, Gunther wins again!

Winner: Gunther, by pinfall (still WWE Intercontinental Champion)

The belt stays with Gunther, just as he and Ludwig promised! Will the title, the mat and all of the WWE be sacred under Imperium’s reign?

 

Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.

Kayla asks Heyman about using his influence to alter things in the Men’s MITB match in regards to Sheamus and McIntyre. “Ironically, you could be doing Brock Lesnar the greatest favor in the world.” Heyman smirks and sighs. But then Sami steps in to say he doesn’t have to answer any question this supposed journalist asks. Kayla knows what she did! She twisted Sami’s words, implying that if Sami won- No, when Sami wins the MITB match, he would dare cash-in on Roman Reigns! Wise Man, the Honorary Uce would never, never do that. Heyman smiles and Sami says he’d cash-in on Lesnar, though.

Oh, wait. The smile is gone and Sami tries to explain what he meant by that, but no words come out. Sami just leaves. Heyman then looks at Kayla, but he is also speechless. Will Sami stop sticking his foot in his mouth long enough to get up the ladder and win that contract?

 

Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifier: Shotzi Blackheart VS Tamina!

Cards are subject to change, and as much as the wild child wanted payback on #Aliyah316 on the road to MITB, Aliyah is not cleared to compete. So instead, the Daughter of Superfly is here to get her opportunity at the ladder match! Will Shotzi learn there really is no one meana than Tamina? Or can Shotzi welcome Tamina to the ball pit?

SmackDown returns as Shotzi makes her entrance. The bell rings and the two tie up. Shotzi waistlocks, jumps on for a SLEEPER, but Tamina isn’t even bothered! Tamina THROWS Shotzi off, Shotzi gets to a corner but Tamina RAMS into her. Tamina whips Shotzi corner to corner, runs in to back elbow, then she brings Shotzi around to whip to ropes for a POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Tamina keeps on Shotzi with a bump off buckles, then she hoists Shotzi up top. Shotzi fights Tamina off but Tamina ROCKS her! Shotzi BOOTS Tamina, and reels her in for a HANGING HEADSCISSOR! The ref counts, Shotzi lets off at 4!

Shotzi runs back in and DROPKICKS Tamina! Tamina staggers into a ROLLING ELBOW! Shotzi fires off, Tamina shoves her, but Shotzi ENZIGURIS! Shotzi runs and hits the BALLPIT SENTON on the ropes! Tamina staggers to a corner, Shotzi goes up the corner and leaps, into a SUPERKICK! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Shotzi survives but Tamina fires off hands in anger. Tamina runs, but is sent into the POST! Tamina staggers, Shotzi reels her in, FISHERMAN DDT! Cover, Shotzi wins!

Winner: Shotzi Blackheart, by pinfall (advances to MITB)

Shotzi just made sure Tamina will #NeverWakeUp, and now Shotzi is moving on to Vegas! Will Shotzi have a golden ticket to the title?

 

The Viking Raiders speak.

Erik says, “The time for fun and games is over.” Ivar says, “For far too long, we’ve been pushed to the side. We’ve been forgotten.” The Viking Raiders are here to rip apart anyone who stands in their way. No one, and they mean no one, is safe. Who will find themselves on the warpath of these more vicious Viking Raiders?

 

Max Dupri gives his client(s) a pep talk.

We can’t see who he’s talking to, but it seems it is finally time to see who joined Maximum Male Models! Will they live up to the hype?

 

Maximum Male Models heads to the ring!

Or… Not. Dupri is in Pearce’s face and he asks Pearce if he’s really a WWE Official. Dupri can’t tell. Based on his actions, or rather, inaction, Pearce has again ruined the debut of Dupri’s clients! Pearce’s title should be “WWE Saboteur.” First the lighting, now maybe the birthday boy partied too hard because he forgot to provide the dressing room accoutrement! Pearce tries to talk but Dupri tells him to NOT interrupt! How hard is it to provide a dressing room at the specific temperature of 68.3 degrees with a mini-fridge stocked with the finest locally-sourced water from the nearest spring? They aren’t asking for green M&M’s or something crazy! They’re models, not monsters.

But if Pearce can’t handle this job, then Dupri can’t send his clients out there to debut. Get this right! Fine, next week it is. Good! Because Dupri and his models are ready to fulfill the MMM Mission: To titillate the juices of your guilty pleasures!! But will it be good enough for Dupri next week?

 

Pat McAfee gets on the desk.

“One week ago, a lowlife scumbag named BUM ASS CORBIN~!” Fans echo that, and Pat continues with, “stumbled his bitch ass over to the commentary table and let the world know that apparently, he doesn’t love the way I do my job.” A recap video shows just what McAfee means, and it was after Corbin lost the “Last Laugh Match” to Moss. Corbin said if they were to get in the ring, McAfee would wish he were dead. “That’s not possible! That’ll never happen! I love my life! I enjoy every single moment! So much so, that when I walked into the WWE ThunderDome for the first time, all I could think was, ‘I feel alive!'”

Fans cheer and McAfee says that when he puts on this headset or talks into a mic for the MILLIONS~! “And millions~!” Shout out to The Rock, but McAfee says when he’s in front of the fans, he feels alive! So “Bum Ass” can catfish all he wants, acting like he’s not some insufferable, arrogant DOUCHEBAG, maybe he can ponder this? SummerSlam, in Nashville, Tennessee, Corbin VS McAfee! And when McAfee kicks Corbin’s teeth down his throat, the only thing McAfee will think is, “I feel more alive than I’ve ever felt in my entire life, right here at SummerSlam!” McAfee closes with another chant of “BUM ASS CORBIN~!” and tells Corbin not to be a coward!

 

Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifier Tag: Drew McIntyre & Sheamus VS The Usos!

For one night only, and for as long as they can hold it together, the Celtic Connection is back in action! But we’re already off to a bad start with McIntyre cutting Sheamus’ music short. Will the Scottish Stud and the Fella of Fight Night win back their spots in MITB together? Or will Jimmy & Jey sweep these two under the rug so that the Tribal Chief doesn’t have to even worry about them?

SmackDown returns and the Undisputed Tag Team Champions make their entrance. But wait! The Profits make their way out to ringside, because they want to keep an eye on the champions ahead of their title match on MITB. The teams sort out and McIntyre argues with Sheamus. Dunne gets in, HE wants to start! But he’s not part of the match so Ridge brings him out of the ring. Jimmy goes after McIntyre so the decision is made for them! Jimmy fires off haymakers while the Profits are on commentary. Jimmy lets off in the corner, but he whips corner to corner. McIntyre comes right back to CLOBBER Jimmy!

McIntyre warns Jey that he’ll be next, and then he brings Jimmy up to tag Sheamus. The Celtic Connection double whip, then double hip toss Jimmy! The teamwork is still there, Sheamus EuroUppers Jimmy then fireman’s carries. Jimmy fights free, shoves Sheamus to the corner, and Jey tags in. Jey runs in to forearm smash! Jey ROCKS Sheamus against ropes, then glares at the Profits. But Sheamus throws Jey out and ROCKS him, to then gives him Beats of the Bodhrain! Sheamus goes all the way to nine, then winds up for a TENTH! Sheamus then fireman’s carries, ROLLING SENTON!

Sheamus goes to a corner and he soaks up the cheers and jeers. He’s copying McIntyre’s countdown, but Jey bails out! Dunne wants after Jey, but McIntyre intercepts him, and TOSSES him into barriers! Sheamus is upset but Dunne would’ve cost them! Ridge keeps these two from fighting, but no good! They’re throwing hands, and the Usos DOUBLE DIVE! Down go Sheamus & McIntyre, and they’re blaming each other as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns again and Jey has Sheamus in a chinlock. Fans rally as Sheamus endures and fights up to his feet. Sheamus throws elbows to get free, but Jey throw hands. Sheamus counter punches, ROCKS Jey, then shoves him. Jimmy tags in before Jey takes the IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! SUPERKICK takes Sheamus down! Cover, TWO!! Sheamus survives and the Profits are laser focused, telling the Usos to focus on the match, too. Sheamus is in a corner, Jimmy fires off hands on him. Jimmy DECKS Sheamus, and again, and then stomps away! The ref counts, Jimmy lets off and seethes while fans cheer and jeer.

Jimmy goes back to Sheamus but Sheamus kicks from below! And again! Sheamus gets up to throw haymakers but blocks Jimmy’s kick. But Jimmy hits the DRAGON WHIP! Jimmy raises the finger, #WeTheOnes, and then he runs corner to corner to HIP ATTACK! The Usos raise their fingers to the sky and fans are torn. Jimmy wants one more, “UCE! SO!” and Jimmy runs in again, into a KNEE! Sheamus takes Jimmy down and Jey is shocked! Fans are thunderous and the Profits are standing up for this one! Sheamus and Jimmy crawl, hot tags to McIntyre and Jey! McIntyre rallies on Jey as the Profits are fired up for him!

McIntyre whips, CLOBBERS Jey, then clinches in a corner for an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Jey staggers but swings on McIntyre, but McIntyre gets around him. Jey denies the neckbreaker and POSTS McIntyre instead! McIntyre flops back in, into a SUPERKICK! Tag to Jimmy, he SUPERKICKS Sheamus off the apron! The Usos DOUBLE SUPERKICK McIntyre! Jimmy goes up top and fans fire up, USO SPLASH!! Cover, Sheamus breaks it!! Fans are fired up again as Sheamus whips Jey but Jey reverses to toss Sheamus. McIntyre dodges Jey to NECKBERAKER this time! Then a NECKBREAKER for Jimmy!

McIntyre kips up, fans fire up, and the countdown begins! But Jey drags Jimmy out, so McIntyre pursues them both! SUPERKICK from Jimmy! McIntyre flops, but here comes Dunne and Ridge! They were sent to the back after that scuffle earlier, but no one can control Butch! The ref is distracted and Ridge gets Dunne to back down. Sami is here! He aims for McIntyre, but Dawkins POUNCES him instead! The Profits stop the Honorary Uce, and then they talk trash on Usos! But then McIntyre FLIES onto everyone!! Fans are thunderous with McIntyre as he glares at Jey. Jey retreats, but into a BROGUE from Sheamus!!

McIntyre hurries to put Jimmy in, and he hurries to count it down! “THREE! TWO! ONE!!” CLAY- SUPERKICK! But McIntyre stays up to rebound and CLAYMORE!! Cover, McIntyre & Sheamus win!!

Winners: Drew McIntyre & Sheamus, by pinfall (still advance to MITB)

And in the end, the field stays the way it was! The Celtic Connection are back in the MITB Ladder Match, but will this momentum help one of them take that contract?


My Thoughts:

A pretty good SmackDown with a lot of good build towards MITB. For one, we saw a somewhat clever way of filling out the night by teasing Sheamus & McIntyre were going to be out of the Men’s MITB Ladder match. Great promos from McIntyre and Sheamus and a great tag match to close the night. Sheamus & McIntyre win to stay in the match, and it is a good detail that Heyman did this because he was most worried about these two coming for Roman Reigns. Now, there’s a good chance neither of them win the contract, and McIntyre already called his shot for Clash at the Castle, so this works to give Seth Rollins the contract.

Great qualifier match from Sami VS Nakamura, and within story, it makes a lot of sense for Sami to get in the match, because as his promo said, he’ll totally cash-in on Brock if Brock wins. And in saying that, there is tension again between him and the Bloodline. We also got a fairly good qualifier for the Women’s MITB after having to adjust for Aliyah being out. Shotzi winning makes sense since she was likely going to beat Aliyah for this spot. The segment with Natty and Ronda was also decent, with the very cheesy idea of Natty impersonating Ronda. The only flaw was that she had too much charisma. Ronda did have some good burns on Natty, though, and Ronda stands tall here to get even from last time. Expect Natty to stand tall in the go-home segment next week so that the math favors Ronda.

This “delaying” of the Maximum Male Models clients is getting a bit tired, but it could again just be because they don’t know who is in the faction. Again, it should just be Mansoor and “Mace” Dio Maddin after the test runs they did at house shows. Mansoor and Mace both need to do something, and this is better than nothing. I liked the meta in the New Day’s promo about having rematches again and again after the feud with the Brawling Brutes. But what a surprise that Viking Raiders returned to SmackDown with a new look and a new Heel edge. Hopefully this time around, we get a more War Machine ROH World Tag Team Champions run from these guys, for their sake.

Sonya is back on SmackDown and technically back to her old tricks in having Shayna with her, and now she’s added Xia Li. Sonya trying to turn the Handicap Match around was a clever enough Heel move, but of course Raquel & Lacey win for the momentum going into MITB. Ironically, Lacey & Raquel look like a good team for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship tournament the WWE will probably never go through with. But Gunther VS Ricochet was not what it should’ve been and I don’t know why. Both are great competitors, but this was shorter than the first and as such, not as good. I hope they figure out how to make Gunther actually feel as awesome as he did when he was Walter in NXT UK and even NXT 2.0.

My Score: 8.2/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 32 Results & Report! (8/14/22)

Go Ace, or Go To Sleep?

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NJPW G1 Climax 32

When facing the Fang Revived, will The Ace survive?

After losing the IWGP US Championship, Kenta has wanted payback on Hiroshi Tanahashi! Will he get it through NJPW’s biggest G1 Climax ever?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 8 Man Tag: Hirooki Goto, Kosei Fujita, Ryohei Oiwa & Yuto Nakashima VS The House of Torture; The House of Torture wins.
  • Bad Dude Tito & JONAH VS Will Ospreay & Aaron Henare; Ospreay & Henare win.
  • 8 Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Chaos VS Suzuki-Gun; Chaos wins.
  • Tama Tonga & Jado VS Jay White & Gedo; Tama & Jado win.
  • G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS David Finlay; Hashi wins.
  • G1 Climax, B Block: Taichi VS Great-O-Khan; Khan wins.
  • G1 Climax, A Block: Tom Lawlor VS Jeff Cobb; Lawlor wins.
  • G1 Climax, C Block: Hiroshi Tanahashi VS KENTA; Kenta wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current standings!

A Block

  • Kazuchika Okada: 4-1, 8 points
  • Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
  • JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
  • Jeff Cobb: 3-2, 6 points
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tom Lawlor: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Toru Yano: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 5-0, 10 points
  • Tama Tonga: 4-1, 8 points
  • SANADA: 3-2, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Taichi: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Zack Sabre Jr: 4-1, 8 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 3-2, 6 points
  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
  • EVIL: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • KENTA: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Aaron Henare: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • David Finlay: 3-2, 6 points
  • Shingo Takagi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Will Ospreay: 3-2, 6 points
  • Yujiro Takahashi: 3-3, 6 points
  • El Phantasmo: 2-3, 4 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 2-3, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED?]

 

G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS David Finlay!

The D Block is insane right now! Are all seven men still viable for the semifinals? Will the Headhunter plunge things into chaos with a win over The Rebel? Or will Finlay make things clear and establish himself as THE semifinalist?

The bell rings and fans rally as the two stare down. Finlay encourages the fans to get louder and they oblige, then Finlay and Hashi tie up. They’re in a deadlock until Finlay finds a point of leverage. Finlay puts Hashi on the ropes, wants after the bad arm, but the ref counts. Finlay lets off at 4 and fans applaud as the two reset. Hashi kicks low, headlocks, but Finlay rolls Hashi to a cover, TWO! Hashi grinds the headlock, Finlay fights up and powers out, but Hashi runs Finlay over! Fans applaud and Hashi runs again, but Finlay drops to hurdle, but Hashi waistlocks. Finlay elbows free, runs, but Hashi CLOBBERS him with the elbow!

Hashi shakes out that bad arm while fans rally up. Hashi stands Finlay up to CLUB him on the back, and has Finlay in the corner. Finlay kicks back but Hashi blocks to CLUB the leg and CHOP Finlay! Finlay is stinging already, but he CHOPS back. Hashi CHOPS again and Finlay drops to his knees! Hashi shakes out the bad arm, drags Finlay up and reels him in. Fans rally again as Finlay fights the suplex. Hashi wrenches but Finlay ROCKS Hashi first! Then he hits an ARMBREAKER DDT! Hashi clutches that bad arm while fans fire up. Finlay storms over to get the arm and drops a knee on it! Then Finlay clamps on with a double wristlock! Hashi scrambles to the ROPEBREAK!

Fans applaud as Finlay lets off, then Finlay stomps the arm. Finlay throws Hashi out then PLANCHAS! Direct hit and Hashi is down! Fans fire up and Finlay paces. Hashi clutches the bad arm but Finlay puts him in the ring. Finlay SLAMS the arm on the mat and Hashi clutches it. Finlay brings Hashi up to EuroUpper then forearm and stomp in the corner. The ref counts, Finlay stomps harder and harder, and fans clap along until Finlay lets off at 4. Finlay eggs Hashi on and fans rally up. Hashi sits up, Finlay brings him around to snapmare and trap the arm in a chinlock! Hashi endures, fights to move around, but Finlay twists Hashi from the ropes!

Hashi keeps kicking and reaching out, to the ROPEBREAK! Finlay lets off, but with a stomp! Fans rally while Hashi still shields his bad arm. Finlay looms over Hashi, brings him up and cranks on the bad arm. Hashi resists the takedown and throws body shots. Finlay knees low, whips Hashi to ropes, but Hashi dropkicks the legs out! Finlay clutches the knee while getting away to a corner. Fans rally up and Hashi shakes the bad arm. Hashi runs in at the corner to CHOP! Hashi whips Finlay out to CHOP, mule kick and then turn, but Finlay fights the neckbreaker. Finlay swings but Hashi dodges the lariat to come back with the HEADHUNTER!

Fans fire up as Finlay goes to another corner. Hashi shakes the arm, goes back in and clotheslines with the good arm! Then the NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Hashi keeps his cool while fans rally up. Hashi drags Finlay up, reels him in and hooks the leg, but Finlay fights the fisherman suplex. Hashi throws a forearm but Finlay gives it back, and fans rally as they pick up speed! The forearms go back and forth, Finlay gets the edge, but Hashi ROCKS and CHOPS! Finlay ROCKS, UPPERCUTS, but Hashi backslides! TWO! Hashi swings, but into the IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Finlay holds on, and he hits another IRISH CURSE! And then a THIRD IRISH CURSE! Cover, TWO!

Fans fire up as Hashi survives that hattrick but Finlay tells Hashi to just give up already! Fans rally, “GET BACK UP! GET BACK UP!” for Hashi but Finlay slashes his throat to say this is over! Finlay drags Hashi up and reels him in, but Hashi fights the suplex to SPIN BACK KICK! Finlay tumbles to the apron and fans rally again. Hashi shakes out the bad arm, storms over to the ropes, but Finlay gets him for an ARM HOTSHOT! Finlay steps in, into the SUPERKICK! Fisherman to KUMA- STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE! Cover, TWO!! Not quite Prima Nocta but Finlay says he’s gonna bring Hashi around for the drop!

Finlay drags Hashi up, cravats and goes up, but no Acid Drop! Finlay blocks Hashi’s superkick and rolls him up, TWO! Hashi is up but he runs into a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! High stack, TWO! Finlay grows frustrated while the fans rally up again. Finlay vows to end it this time, and he gets Hashi up to suplex. TRASH- NO, Hashi slips out to a waistlock! Finlay throws elbows into the bad arm then runs, into a SUPERKICK! But Finlay LARIATS on the rebound! Cravat, ACID- NO, Hashi fights the drop and full nelsons, KARMA CRADLE! Cover, HASHI WINS!!

Winner: Yoshi-Hashi, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Finlay earns 0)

Chaos it is, then! The Headhunter beats The Rebel who beat the Kingpin, the Dragon and the Booster, but the Rebel lost to the Headbanga and the Tokyo Pimp, so what does any of this mean for the semifinals?!

 

G1 Climax, B Block: Taichi w/ Miho Abe VS Great-O-Khan!

The B Block is almost the opposite of the D Block. We know it comes down to Jay White or Tama Tonga, so the Holy Emperor is fighting the Dominator for pride. Will Taichi take out his frustrations from yesterday on Khan here? Or will this emperor be conquered by the United Empire?

Khan patiently waits as Taichi takes off his cloak and shows off the dancing pecs. Fans applaud, Taichi still wins something here. The bell rings and Khan waits on Taichi again. Taichi takes his time stepping out of the corner to circle with Khan, but Taichi avoids Khan’s advances on the legs. Fans applaud as Taichi drops back to a corner, and Khan sits with his leg guard. Khan dares Taichi to try something but Taichi smirks. Taichi isn’t going to fall for Khan’s technical trap, and he takes his sumo stance instead. Now Taichi dares Khan to try something. Sumo versus ground wrestling? Fans rally up, wanting to see what wins.

Khan sits back more but Taichi leans forward, each still egging the other on. It’s a mental game here, and it seems to be in a deadlock. Taichi hits his three point stance but Khan sits with one leg forward. The ref tells them to break this inactivity! Fans applaud as both men stand up and reset. Taichi and Khan circle slowly but Taichi is still doing sumo body slaps. They rush each other, and Khan is trying a sumo clinch just like Taichi! They move around, each trying to get a better grip. They circle, Khan goes for the arm but Taichi fights it off! Taichi tries now but Khan fights it off! Fans applaud as they return to the deadlock.

Khan and Taichi keep feeling out the situation, and Khan has a grip on the waistband! Khan starts pushing Taichi back, but Taichi digs in his heels. Taichi then goes after Khan’s waistband, but Khan digs his heels in! They go back to a deadlock, Khan gets a body clinch! BEARHUG! Taichi fights it with the sumo clinch! Taichi THROWS Khan! Fans are fired up while Taichi goes to a corner. Khan staggers up, fans rally, and Taichi runs in but Khan RAMS shoudlers with him! And again! And again! Khan runs, but into a BOOT! Khan BOOTS back, so Taichi SOBATS! Khan Mongolian CHOPS! AX BOMBER outta nowhere!

Fans fire up with Taichi! He hits the three point stance, YOKOZUNA- SAYANAGI from Khan! Khan drags Taichi into the HITSUJIGOROSHI LUNA! Taichi endures the Sheep Killer Rack as Khan thrashes him around! Fans rally up, “TA-I-CHI!” “SU-BA-RU!” Er, wait, “GREAT-O-KHAN!” IRON CLAW! Khan drags Taichi up, but Taichi breaks free! Khan thrusts but into an Alabama Lift! Taichi adjusts for BLACK- IRON CLAW! Khan fights free and he squeezes Taichi’s head! But Taichi CHOKES Khan! The ref reprimands, but Khan squeezes harder! Khan’s claw is winning out! Taichi fades, Khan drags him back up into the ELIMI-

NO, Taichi gets around, GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!! Khan gets up and shoots in but into a sprawl! But Khan still SNAP SUPLEXES! Fisherman bridge, KHAN WINS!!!

Winner: Great-O-Khan, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Taichi earns 0)

Adding insult to injury, Khan wins with the “Pancake Hold!” Will Taichi live it down that he lost to a move with such an adorable name?

 

G1 Climax, A Block: Tom Lawlor w/ Royce Isaacs VS Jeff Cobb!

The Filthy One is out of the running with his big losses to Okada, Jonah and Archer, but he could get a big win right here! Will Lawlor spoil things for the Imperial Unit? Or will his G1 end with a Tour of the Islands?

Fans rally for “TOM! LAW-LOR!” already and spins around and around! He does some drop steps, then OFF COME THE SHORTS! Luckily, he’s still got the denim tights underneath. Wait, Cobb starts spinning? Oh, to take off his wrist tape. This is getting serious already! The bell rings and Cobb circles with Lawlor. Fans rally up as the two feel out the grapple. Lawlor rushes in but Cobb blocks and gets around to a waistlock. Lawlor spins around to try again but Cobb still blocks the leg pick. Cobb gets around and wants a leg, but Lawlor moves up so Cobb gets the waistlock again. Lawlor turns around, they clinch and end up against the ropes.

Fans applaud and Red Shoes calls the ropebreak. Cobb lets off and Lawlor applauds the clean break. They go again. Lawlor tries the fireman’s carry but Cobb is too sturdy for that. Cobb tries for an armlock, Lawlor moves around  so Cobb tries for a gut wrench, but Lawlor manages a low back drop! Cobb gets the waistlock and gator rolls with Lawlor! Lawlor slips out, waistlocks back but Cobb uses that to push Lawlor over. Lawlor shifts up to get a SLEEPER, but Cobb scrambles to the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes calls the break and Lawlor lets off with a pat on the shoulder. Fans applaud as Lawlor gives Cobb space, and they reset again.

“TOM! LAW-LOR!” waits on Cobb, they tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, and Lawlor wrenches an arm. Cobb ROCKS Lawlor with the other, but Lawlor wrenches, ELBOW BREAKERS, then kicks, kicks and KICKS! Lawlor leaps, but into Cobb’s arms! FALL AWAY SLAM! Fans fire up as both men are down on the mat! Lawlor gets himself to the corner and Cobb gets the claps going for him! “JEFF! COB-BU!” runs corner to corner to back elbow, into a SLEEPER! Lawlor hops on to be a backpack, but Cobb RAMS him into the corner! Lawlor holds on, Cobb goes to the ropes, and then he throws Lawlor off! Lawlor tumbles to the floor!

Fans rally while Cobb sputters and coughs. Lawlor staggers up but Cobb is there to ROCK him! Lawlor throws a forearm back so Cobb throat chops! Cobb puts Lawlor in the ring, but Lawlor comes back for a TRIANGLE HOLD! Cobb stays up as Lawlor tries to drag him down, and Cobb deadlifts for an APRON BOMB! Lawlor flops down and writhes while Cobb sputters again. Fans rally up, Cobb brings Lawlor up to ROCK him in the back! Cobb ROCKS Lawlor again, then follows him around the corner. Lawlor gets in the ring and Cobb follows. Cobb brings Lawlor up to CLUB him down, and Cobb brings Lawlor up.

Cobb waistlocks and RAMS Lawlor into the corner. Cobb whips corner to corner and Lawlor hits hard! Cobb runs in to FLYING UPPERCUT! Fans fire up and Cobb covers, TWO! Cobb drags Lawlor around, stomps on him, and then stands on him to go surfing! Fans clap for “JEFF! COB-BU!” and he steps off. Lawlor grits his teeth and sits up to throw a heavy body shot! And another! Cobb HEADBUTTS Lawlor then reels him in for a short arm LARIAT! Cobb claps along but Lawlor grabs a leg! Cobb stomps Lawlor but then Lawlor grabs that leg in a grapevine! Cobb CLUBS away on Lawlor and Lawlor lets go, but then Lawlor KICKS the leg!

Lawlor KICKS the leg again and again, then kicks up at Cobb! Lawlor draws Cobb in and balances Cobb on his feet! And then drops Cobb into the ARMBAR! Fans rally as Lawlor clubs Cobb’s grip to the rhythm! The grip breaks and Lawlor has the ARMBAR!! But Cobb moves around! Cover, ONE, and Lawlor has a KNEEBAR HEADSCISSOR COMBO! Cobb fights up and out of the headscissors to then CLUB away on Lawlor! Cobb is free of the kneebar but then he CLUBS Lawlor, clamps on both hands, and DEADLIFTS to the OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Fans fire up for that wild display of strength! And then fans rally as both Cobb and Lawlor rise.

Cobb drags Lawlor up, pump handles and lifts, but Lawlor kicks off the ropes for an ARMBREAKER DDT! Lawlor then omoplatas one arm, but Cobb won’t let him have the other, so Lawlor gets an ANKLE LOCK! Cobb kicks free, rolls Lawlor away, but swings into an URENAGE! Fans fire up again as both men are down! Lawlor crawls to the cover, TWO! Lawlor pounds the mat and fans clap along again, “TOM! LAW-LOR!” Cobb goes to a corner, Lawlor aims from the opposite. Lawlor runs in to forearm smash! Lawlor keeps moving, another forearm smash! Lawlor goes the other way, one more FOREARM SMASH!

Lawlor reels Cobb in, TORNADO- NO, Cobb puts Lawlor on the ropes! But Lawlor BOOTS the haymaker away! Lawlor LEAPS, GUILLOTINE!! But Cobb powers up and out to SUPLEX! Fans fire up again as the two are down again! Fans rally, Lawlor flounders and Cobb crawls after. Cobb SLAPS Lawlor, Lawlor SLAPS Cobb. Both men sit up, Cobb throws a forearm but Lawlor gives it back. Fans rally as the forearms keep going, Cobb wobbles a moment but he ROCKS Lawlor. Lawlor fires off body shots! Cobb and Lawlor stand, the forearms keep going, Lawlor fires off kicks and a KNEE, then an ENZIGURI!

Lawlor fires up, runs, and BLINDSIDE WHEEL KICKS! Cover, TWO! Cobb is still in this and Lawlor is surprised. Lawlor gets the fans rallying again, then wrenches Cobb into an ELBOW BREAKER! And another, and then a hammerlock. Lawlor fires off “TOM! LAW-LOR!” forearms over and over! Lawlor roars, spins, but into a SUPERKICK! Lawlor staggers but roars, to SLAP Cobb down!! Lawlor also falls over and fans rally up again. Lawlor pushes himself up, he brings Cobb around, and Lawlor runs to PENALTY- NO, Cobb ducks, rolls Lawlor then DEADLIFT GERMANS! Cobb holds on to try again, but Lawlor pries at the arm!

Cobb GERMAN SUPLEXES with one arm! But Lawlor wrenches the other arm! Cobb tries but he can’t complete the suplex, Lawlor has the DOUBLE WRISTLOCK! Cobb CLUBS away, rolls and throws Lawlor off, but Lawlor KNEES the bad arm! Then V-TRIGGERS Cobb up close! Lawlor gets the arms, KAMI-GOYE!! Cover, TWO!!! Cobb survives and fans fire up again! They clap as “TOM! LAW-LOR!” stands back up. Lawlor grabs at Cobb’s arms to tie Cobb up in the straitjacket. But Cobb stands up, reels Lawlor in, but Lawlor slips off the scoop! COBRA CLUTCH SUPLEX! Fans fire up while both men are down again!

Lawlor pounds the mat and fans clap along again! Lawlor drags Cobb up, straitjackets the arms, for NKTOB!!! Cover, Lawlor wins!!!

Winner: Tom Lawlor, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Cobb earns 0)

The Nasty Knee On The Brain finishes off the Imperial Unit! Both men end 3-3, meaning The Filthy One just spoiled Cobb’s run, who will take the A Block now?

 

G1 Climax, C Block: Hiroshi Tanahashi VS KENTA!

The Ace and the Fang Revived meet in both their last G1 match this year, and Tanahashi is on the bubble. Will Kenta avenge himself from their IWGP US Championship feud? Or will the Once in a Century Talent refuse to #GoToSleep?

Tanahashi shows off the muscles and fans applaud. The bell rings and fans rally, “Let’s Go, Ace! Let’s Go, Ace!” as Tanahashi and Kenta circle. Kenta gets fans to shift to his, “KEN-TA! KEN-TA!” claps, but Tanahashi gets “Let’s Go, Ace!” going pretty easily. It’s a clapping duel but it seems the Ace’s side wins out. So Kenta bails out of the ring to go looking under it. Kenta brings out a chair, but it has no seat. Kenta is annoyed and he goes looking for another. Red Shoes says to get in the ring, but Kenta hops the rails and snatches a chair from the timekeeper’s area. Kenta puts that chair in the ring, but Red Shoes says no, this isn’t a No Disqualification match.

Kenta is annoyed but he throws the chair aside. Tanahashi picks the chair up, to use it as a guitar! Kenta sucker punches Tanahashi! Kenta CLUBS Tanahashi, CHOPS him, throws uppercuts, then brings Tanahashi around to bump off buckles. Kenta ROCKS Tanahashi with a body shot, then ROCKS him with a haymaker! And another! Kenta whips corner to corner, then runs in to forearm smash! Kenta snapmares Tanahashi, KICKS him in the back and covers, TWO! Fans rally while Kenta clamps on a chinlock. Tanahashi endures and fights up but Kenta shifts to a headlock. Tanahashi pulls hair, and then he gets the headlock!

Red Shoes reprimands but Kenta powers up. Tanahashi holds on tight and grinds Kenta. Kenta rolls to a cover, TWO! Tanahashi holds onto the headlock and fans rally up. Kenta fights up to his feet, powers Tanahashi into a corner, and Red Shoes calls the break. Tanahashi grinds the hold but lets off at 4, to throw body shots! Tanahashi fires up and whips Kenta corner to corner, but Kenta reverses! Kenta runs in, but into an elbow! Tanahashi goes up to CROSSBODY! Fans fire up and Tanahashi strums the air guitar. Kenta gets to the apron but Tanahashi drags him up. Kenta HOTSHOTS Tanahashi down, then drags him to the apron. But Tanahashi BOOTS Kenta into railing!

Tanahashi goes out after Kenta, drags him up, and puts him back in the ring. Fans rally up, but Tanahashi sees Kenta is already rolling to the adjacent side. Tanahashi hurries around the way to meet Kenta there! Tanahashi throws body shots and he puts Kenta in the ring again. Fans rally up, but Tanahashi again hurries to block Kenta from rolling out. Kenta rolls the other way and Tanahashi gets in, but Kenta BOOTS Tanahashi down! Tanahashi tumbles to the floor and Kenta goes out after him. Kenta whips Tanahashi hard into railing! Tanahashi falls over but Kenta drags him back up, and out into No Man’s Land! DDT to the floor!

Red Shoes reprimands but Kenta leaves Tanahashi behind. Fans rally up, “Let’s Go, Ace!” but Kenta refreshes the count to fetch Tanahashi. Kenta KICKS and KICKS and KICKS Tanahashi! Tanahashi falls over, Kenta drags him back to ringside and puts him in, only to drag him back out! The count is refreshed again, Kenta whips Tanahashi hard into more railing! Tanahashi falls over again and Kenta soaks up the applause. Kenta stomps Tanahashi around, then drags him up by his hair. The ring count starts again and Kenta POSTS Tanahashi! Kenta drags Tanahashi back up at 9 of 20 and puts him in at 11. Kenta pushes Tanahashi to a cover, TWO!

Fans rally up but Kenta drops an elbow, and then another elbow! And then he DOUBLE STOMPS! Tanahashi writhes but Kenta wraps him up in a body scissors! Tanahashi endures the squeeze, he pries at the hold, then drags himself forward to get the ROPEBREAK! Kenta holds on but Red Shoes counts. Kenta lets off at 4, drags Tanahashi up and turns him, NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up as Tanahashi snarls, but Kenta stomps him. Tanahashi fires off fast hands! Tanahashi runs but into a kitchen sink knee! And then Kenta drops knees onto Tanahashi’s ribs! Kenta wraps Tanahashi back up in body scissors and the fans rally up!

Tanahashi endures all over again as Kenta puts on the squeeze! Tanahashi pulls on a leg for a toehold! Kenta scrambles to the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes counts, Tanahashi pulls harder on the leg until 4! Kenta hobbles up and he KICKS Tanahashi! And BOOTS him! And KICKS! Tanahashi drops to a knee but he grits his teeth. Kenta kicks but Tanahashi block to CLULB the leg and fire off forearms! Kenta knees low, whops Tanahashi to a corner, but Tanahashi blocks his running boot! Tanahashi then shifts to have the leg for a DRAGON SCREW! Fans fire up and Tanahashi drags Kenta back up to fire off fast hands!

Tanahashi whips, Kenta reverses but Tanahashi FLYING FOREARMS! Fans fire up more as Tanahashi fires off more fast hands! And then scoop SLAMS Kenta into a drop zone! Tanahashi hops up and SUNSET SENTONS! Cover, TWO! Kenta is still in this but Tanahashi keeps his cool. Tanahashi waits on Kenta to rise, then he runs, but into a BOOT! Tanahashi rebounds to ROCK Kenta! Kenta rebounds to BOOT! Tanahashi rebounds, into Kenta’s POWERSLAM! Fans fire up while both men are down! Kenta sits up fast and he hurries to drag Tanahashi up. Kenta reels Tanahashi in but Tanahashi throws back elbows.

Tanahashi and Kenta go to opposite corners, and Tanahashi runs corner to corner, into a BOOT! Kenta goes up, he reels Tanahashi in, TORNADO STUNGUN! Tanahashi falls down and Kenta goes back up. Tanahashi stands, Kenta hits a FLYING LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up as Kenta rains down fists on Tanahashi! Red Shoes reprimands over closed fists and Kenta lets off, to then rain down more fists! And then he lets off, to rain down more fists! Red Shoes reprimands, Kenta’s throwing too many closed fists! Kenta stands up while fans rally, and Tanahashi snarls as he sits back up. Kenta gives him toying kicks but Tanahashi eggs him on!

Kenta kicks Tanahashi more but Tanahashi throws a forearm! Kenta throws it back, Tanahashi throws another! Fans fire up, Kenta ROCKS Tanahashi but Tanahashi ROCKS Kenta! They go again, Tanahashi eggs Kenta on, and Kenta fires another shot! Tanahashi fires another, Kenta fires another, repeat faster and faster! The fans fire up and then both men grab each other’s hair! Red Shoes reprimands, but they both shove him away! Kenta kicks low, but then he ducks and Tanahashi’s SHOTEI hits Red Shoes!! Down goes the referee! Kenta hits a DDT! Kenta then sees Red Shoes is down and realizes Tanahashi did that!

Kenta goes outside and he goes looking under the ring. Kenta brings out a CRUTCH! Kenta brings that crutch into the ring and he SMACKS Tanahashi across the chest with it! And then SMACKS him on the back! Fans fire up as Kenta SMACKS Tanahashi again! The crutch has bent, but Kenta just SMACKS Tanahashi again and again and again! Kenta throws the bent-up crutch away, drags Tanahashi up and throws Tanahashi out. Kenta then goes out after Tanahashi, and he drags Tanahashi around for a DDT to the ramp! The Ace is down and Kenta clears off the timekeeper’s table to confiscate it! Kenta wants to turn the tables on that No DQ match finish!

Kenta does his best to set this table up by the ramp, and he stomps Tanahashi for good measure. The table stands at the ready right by the ring, and Kenta drags Tanahashi over to it. Kenta SMACKS Tanahashi off the table, puts him on it, and rains down more fists! Kenta goes up the corner while fans rally up! But Tanahashi hurries up after Kenta! Tanahashi ROCKS Kenta, climbs up after him, and fans anticipate a new crash landing! Kenta resists the superplex and throws body shots! Kenta HEADBUTTS Tanahashi again and again and again! Tanahashi falls to the apron and Kenta hurries in to drag him through the ropes! BRAINKILLER!

Fans fire up as Kenta shouts to Red Shoes. Red Shoes is up and Kenta aims from a corner. Fans rally, “LET’S GO, ACE!” but he’s still down. Kenta waits, and he makes sure Red Shoes is focused on the match. Tanahashi slowly sits up in the corner, and Kenta runs in to FLYING BOOT! And then SOARING DROPKICK! Kenta fires up and fans fire up, too, as Kenta climbs up! COUP DE GRACE!! Cover, TWO!! Tanahashi survives, and his kick-out sends Kenta into Red Shoes! Kenta drags Tanahashi onto the ropes and then goes to the apron. The table is there, and Kenta picks it up to SMACK Tanahashi with it! That’s thinking outside the box!

Kenta gets in the ring, he tells Red Shoes to get up already, and then he slashes his throat. Kenta fireman’s carries Tanahashi, GO TO- NO, TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! Tanahashi turns things around and fans fire up again! Tanahashi roars, runs, but Kenta fireman’s carries! GO TO- SLINGBLADE!! Fans fire up more and Tanahashi roars! Tanahashi runs, SLINGBLADE again! Cover, TWO!! Kenta survives and Tanahashi goes to a corner! Tanahashi climbs up, Kenta stands, HIGH FLY ATTACK! And Tanahashi goes back up, to HIGH FLY FLOW onto knees!! Kenta saves himself, then hurries to a corner! Fans rally but Kenta runs in, BUSAIKU KNEE!! Cover, TWO!!

Fans are thunderous but Kenta is furious! Kenta fireman’s carries Tanahashi for the GO TO- SMALL PACKAGE! Tanahashi turns things around to a cover, TWO!!! Kenta escapes and fans are thunderous again! Kenta CROSS COUNTERS! And again! And again! And again, again, again, again!! SHOTEI!! SHOTEI CROSS COUNTER! ANOTHER!!! Tanahashi falls over but Kenta drags him back up! POINT-BLANK KNEE! And then the fireman’s carry, GO TO SLEEP!!! Cover, KENTA WINS!!

Winner: Kenta, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Tanahashi earns 0)

The Ace has fallen! The Once in a Century Talent is out of the running! The Worst Invader has done his job spoiling Tanahashi’s run! And he gets the mic to say, “It’s been a long time since we’ve been in Nagano. And I bet you all wanted to hear Tanahashi say he loves you. Well too bad~!” Fans applaud, because he is right. Kenta says they’re getting an advertisement for his book instead! Fans laugh but we all know Kenta means it. “Anyone have a copy?” A fan does, and Kenta tells the Young Lions to grab it from them. The fan, who is a child, does hand it over and the book is brought to the ring.

Kenta says his dream was to “win the main event and then plug my book.” Fans laugh and applaud that hilarious dream. “If you’ve got a copy, hold it up now.” No one does… “OI, NAGANO! Do you not have bookstores here? Okay, you don’t have bookstores here, but… No internet, either? Get it on Amazon and Rakuten! Those are websites, if you didn’t know. And I’m sure it’ll hit the Tokon Shop very soon. You’re all interested, aren’t you? Aren’t you?” Fans applaud, because yes, they’re interested. Kenta says he’ll remember everyone here clapping, so they better buy it.

So, his book is out, his G1 has ended, and he put his all into every match. “Not like that concerns you. But whatever. The G1 rolls on, so keep enjoying it. I see plenty of LIJ shirts, and others. Not a lot of my own…! Well, it’s been awhile, Nagano, but what I really wanted to say was… Next time we’re back, you’ll wanna all come out again.” Fans applaud because that is definitely true. Will Kenta have more than just a book to plug when NJPW does return to Nagano?

 

Here are the NEW standings!

A Block

  • Kazuchika Okada: 4-1, 8 points
  • Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
  • JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
  • Tom Lawlor: 3-3, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Jeff Cobb: 3-3, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Toru Yano: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 5-0, 10 points
  • Tama Tonga: 4-1, 8 points
  • SANADA: 3-2, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Taichi: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Zack Sabre Jr: 4-1, 8 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 3-2, 6 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
  • KENTA: 3-3, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-3, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • EVIL: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Aaron Henare: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • Shingo Takagi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Will Ospreay: 3-2, 6 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 3-3, 6 points
  • Yujiro Takahashi: 3-3, 6 points
  • David Finlay: 3-3, 6 points
  • El Phantasmo: 2-3, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED?]

My Thoughts:

Another great go for the G1, though I should’ve expected a few of those results. Hashi VS Finlay was great stuff, and Hashi wins to plunge D Block into madness! It will all come down to Tuesday, Takagi VS ELP and Ospreay VS Juice on Tuesday, 8/16. Now, I don’t know the likelihood of Ospreay advancing as he and Ospreay also have to the States to be part of AEW’s Trios Championships tournament. There is no way Ospreay can fight in a G1 semifinal and in Albany, New York on the same day. So chances are, Takagi wins the D Block and advances, possibly as the ONLY one with a 4-2 record in the block.

We got a great match out of Taichi and Khan, and Khan winning was quite the surprise. But they both finish 2-4, and who knows where either guy goes from here. Lawlor VS Cobb was great stuff, too, that is big for Lawlor. The only way Jonah gets in is if he wins against Fale while Archer and Okada have a draw. If Jonah loses, it all comes down to Archer VS Okada, the winner advancing. And of course, great stuff out of Tanahashi VS Kenta, both for the G1 and to build upon their IWGP US Championship No Disqualification match. Kenta winning was the logical move, Tanahashi winning here would deflate the drama of Naito VS ZSJ. Kenta had a hilarious promo to end the night, he really should move up in the rankings.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 32 Results & Report! (8/13/22)

Breathe with the Switchblade!

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NJPW G1 Climax 32

Will the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion keep the “Jay1” going?

The biggest G1 Climax in NJPW continues on and Jay White is spotless at 4-0! But will Taichi change all that this close to the ending?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 8 Man Tag: Hiroshi Tanahashi, David Finlay, Tama Tonga & Jado VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
  • Bad Dude Tito & JONAH VS Tom Lawlor & Royce Isaacs; Tito & Jonah win.
  • Six Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Suzuki-Gun; LIJ wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Chaos VS House of Torture; Chaos wins.
  • G1 Climax, C Block: Aaron Henare VS KENTA; Kenta wins.
  • G1 Climax, A Block: Toru Yano VS Jeff Cobb; Cobb wins.
  • G1 Climax, D Block: Shingo Takagi VS Yujiro Takahashi; Takagi wins.
  • G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS Will Ospreay; Ospreay wins.
  • G1 Climax, B Block: Taichi VS Jay White; White wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current standings!

A Block

  • Kazuchika Okada: 4-1, 8 points
  • Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
  • JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
  • Jeff Cobb: 2-2, 4 points
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tom Lawlor: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Toru Yano: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 4-0, 8 points
  • Tama Tonga: 4-1, 8 points
  • SANADA: 3-2, 6 points
  • Taichi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Zack Sabre Jr: 4-1, 8 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 3-2, 6 points
  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
  • EVIL: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • KENTA: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Aaron Henare: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • Yujiro Takahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • David Finlay: 3-2, 6 points
  • Shingo Takagi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Will Ospreay: 2-2, 4 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 2-2, 4 points
  • El Phantasmo: 2-3, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]

G1 Climax, C Block: Aaron Henare VS KENTA!

The Ultimate Weapon and the Fang Revived are both out of the running, but this is about pride! Will Henare conquer Kenta? Or will he #GoToSleep instead?

The bell rings and fans rally up as the two circle. Kenta gives testing kicks, as does Henare. They keep testing each other, but neither man gets a clean shot. Kenta tries a palm strike but Henare ducks it to give some kicks. Kenta tries kicks but avoids the roundhouse, and fans applaud this great kickboxing exchange. Henare moves to using hands and he gets some body shots in! Kenta bails out and fans applaud Henare bringing the fight. Kenta takes his time returning, and he circles with Henare again. Henare anticipates a kick but Kenta rakes the eyes! The ref reprimands, Kenta fires off haymakers and puts Henare in a corner!

The ref counts, Kenta knees low as he lets off, and runs in, but into an elbow! Henare goes up to FLYING CHUCK! Fans fire up and Kenta staggers up, but he avoids the heel kick! Kenta bails out again and fans applaud. Henare goes out after Kenta and CLUBS him down! And again! Henare HEADBUTTS Kenta, then KICKS him against the post! And again! Henare fires up but Kenta ducks, the kick hits POST! Kenta kicks that leg then POSTS Henare’s shoulder! Kenta hurries to wrench and ELBOW BREAKER that arm, then he kicks the bad leg! Then another ELBOW BREAKER, and another kick to the bad leg!

Henare falls over and the ref reprimands but Kenta KICKS Henare in the leg again. Kenta hammerlocks Henare and RAMS him into railing! Fans cheer the savagery while Kenta stomps the leg. Kenta puts the leg in the railing and stomps it more! The ref reprimands and backs Kenta off, so Kenta drags Henare up and into the ring. Cover, TWO! Kenta is annoyed but fans rally up and Kenta gets Henare’s bad leg. Kenta has the standing toehold but Henare endures. Kenta drops an elbow on the leg and has a seated toehold. Henare tries to fight the hold but he reaches out for the ROPEBREAK instead.

The ref counts, Kenta lets off slowly, and he stomps the bad leg. Kenta drags Henare up, but Henare throws body shots! Kenta kicks Henare low, then stomps him on the back. Henare wrenches the arm to ELBOW BREAKER again! Kenta is just picking apart that whole left side! Kenta joins the fans in clapping, and gets them to stop clapping all at once. Kenta stomps Henare down, drags him up and fires off haymakers! Henare just snarls through them! Kenta KICKS but Henare snarls. Kenta CLUBS Henare but fans rally up as Henare stands. Henare roars but Kenta kicks the bad leg! Kenta runs, but into a KICK!

Henare falls over because the left leg is a weak base right now, but he growls and gets back up. Henare gets that bad leg moving, KICKS Kenta’s own left leg, and KICKS away in the corner! The ref counts, Henare lets off at 4, and he hobbles back to snapmare Kenta for another KICK! Kenta writhes and fans applaud. Henare runs in at the corner to SHINING WIZARD! Henare fireman’s carries for a RUNNING SAMOAN DROP! Fans rally up and Henare snarls. Henare drags Kenta up, HEADBUTTS him down, then goes up the corner. SECOND ROPE SENTON! Cover, TWO! Henare is annoyed but fans rally as Kenta is still in it.

Henare drags Kenta up, stalks behind him and reels him into the full nelson! Kenta fights it, throws elbows, and he ducks the lariat to spin Henare to a DDT! Fans fire up and Kenta KICKS Henare in the back! And again! Kenta stomps Henare on the apron but the ref counts. Kenta lets off and drags Henare up to drag him through the ropes! BRAINKILLER! Fans fire up and Henare sits up in the corner. Kenta runs corner to corner to BOOT Henare, then he goes corner to corner to SOARING DROPKICK! Kenta goes up top as Henare is in the drop zone, COUP DE GRACE! Cover, TWO! Henare survives and fans fire up again.

Kenta slashes his throat, vowing to finish this! Fans rally and Kenta drags Henare up. Henare blocks the lift, CLUBS Kenta again and again, but Kenta BOOTS him! And LARIATS! But Henare stays up! Henare swings, misses, but he catches Kenta for the BERSERKER BOMB! Fans fire up as both men are down, and Henare pounds the mat. Henare calls his shot, clamps onto Kenta, ULTIMA!! Kenta grabs the ref with a body scissors!! The ref reprimands and they all end up by the ropes! Henare throws Kenta down, which also throws the ref down! Henare argues with the ref but fans rally up. Kenta rolls Henare, TWO!!

Kenta hurries back up, and Henare runs in, into a POWERSLAM! Fans fire up and Kenta roars! Kenta drags Henare up, fireman’s carries, but Henare fights out! Henare ROCKS Kenta, Kenta ROCKS Henare! The forearms go back and forth and fans rally up as they pick up speed! Henare gets the edge, but Kenta CROSS COUNTERS! Kenta fires off haymaker after haymaker, but Henare hits a body shot! And the HEEL KICK! Fans fire up with Henare and he drags Kenta back up. Henare fisherman’s to the torture rack, but Kenta claws Henare’s face! Kenta drags Henare down into the armlock, but Henare rolls out of Game Over!

But Kenta shifts to get a TRIANGLE HOLD! Henare endures and fans rally, and Henare deadlifts Kenta for a POWERBOMB! Fans fire up as Henare goes to a corner. Henare shakes out his bad arm, takes aim at Kenta and runs in, RAMP- KNEE! Kenta drags Henare back down, GAME OVER CROSSFACE!! Henare endures as Kenta pulls back, fans rally up as Henare starts to fade! Henare taps, Kenta wins!

Winner: Kenta, by submission (gains 2 points; Henare earns 0)

The Ultimate Weapon’s first G1 run ends in defeat and with a 1-5 record, but it was all a valiant effort. Will Henare come back next year even stronger? As for Kenta, he has momentum as he prepares for another match tomorrow! Can Kenta tear down The Ace and spoil his chances?

 

G1 Climax, A Block: Toru Yano VS Jeff Cobb!

The Producer is also out of the running, but the Imperial Unit still has a chance. Will Cobb take Yano on a Tour of the Islands to keep on sailing in the G1?

As Cobb makes his entrance, he’s cosplaying Toru Yano! “Funny Jeff” has a Hawaiian shirt over his merch shirt, he has a DVD case, and he has a chair! He even gives the ring announcer a very long introduction to read off, just like Yano! And to copy Yano’s disinfectant bottle, Cobb has an air freshener spray! As for the real Yano… Wait, where is he? His music is playing but Yano isn’t walking out from the ramp or anywhere else. Cobb waits, but is he going to get a win by forfeit? The bell rings, Cobb tells the ref to start already, and the count begins. So either Yano shows up before the 20 count or he’s done!

Cobb is impatient, we’re only at 7 of 20. Wait, Yano runs in from the far side! He slides in, rolls Cobb up, TWO!! Yano panics and apologizes for his prank! Cobb runs in at the corner, Yano dodges and Cobb hits buckles! Yano shoves the ref, then sprays the disinfectant at Cobb’s face!! Roll up, TWO!! Cobb escapes but Yano brings him up to throw him out! Yano hurries after Cobb and whips, but Cobb reverses! Yano hits railing hard! Cobb wipes the spray out of his eyes, but he walks into an atomic drop! Yano tucks Cobb’s arms into his singlet, then wraps him up in the apron skirt! Yano shoves the #Cobburrito down and gets in the ring!

The ring count is rising, Cobb struggles against the skirt wrap, and we’re at 9 of 20! Cobb asks for help but we’re at 13! A Young Lion finally hurries over and helps Cobb get to his feet. Cobb wiggles into the ring at 18! Yano stands on Cobb to surf! Fans applaud as Yano hangs loose! Then Yano hurries to untie a buckle pad from a neutral corner. But Cobb comes back to kick! And kick! Cobb asks the ref for help but Yano kicks Cobb low. Yano runs, but Cobb manages a DROPKICK! Fans fire up as both men are down! Cobb finally gets his arms out of his singlet and fans rally up. Cobb drags Yano up to ROCK him with a right!

Cobb whips, Yano reverses, Cobb stops from hitting buckles, and then dodges! Yano hits the buckles, then Cobb hits an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Fans fire up and Cobb drags Yano up. Yano waistlocks but Cobb switches. Yano grabs at the ref but Cobb blocks the mule kick low blow! Cobb spins Yano, kicks and then pulls Yano’s shirt up over his face! Yano is blindfolded and he staggers around, into a SUPERKICK! Then a TOUR OF THE ISLANDS!! Cover, Cobb wins!

Winner: Jeff Cobb, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Yano earns 0)

“Funny Jeff” still got serious in the end, and he is still in the running! Will Cobb be able to survive to the semifinals? Or is his fate in someone else’s hands?

 

G1 Climax, D Block: Shingo Takagi VS Yujiro Takahashi w/ Pieter!

The Rampaging Dragon isn’t done in the G1 just yet, but to think the Tokyo Pimp would be leading the block! Will Takagi be able to drag Yujiro down? Or will Yujiro’s G1 run have a happy ending?

The moment the introductions are over, Yujiro rushes Takagi! Takagi blocks the boot and throws Yujiro down! The bell rings and Takagi drags Yujiro up to put in the corner. Takagi fires off forearms over and over, and fans fire up as Takagi ROCKS Yujiro again. Takagi whips and KNEES Yujiro at the ropes, then runs to run Yujiro over! Fans fire up and Takagi runs in at the corner. Yujiro BOOTS, but Takagi powers through to clothesline! Takagi then reels Yujiro in to suplex high and hard! Fans fire up but Yujiro bails out of the ring. Takagi pursues, brings Yujiro up and RAMS him into the apron! Takagi then whips Yujiro into railing!

Yujiro flounders away and Pieter checks on him. Takagi storms his way over but Pieter stands in his way. Can a bunny tame a dragon? Takagi is intrigued but Yujiro rushes in! Takagi blocks the sucker punch to ROCK Yujiro back! Pieter scampers away and Takagi scolds her before he CLUBS Yujiro. Takagi POSTS Yujiro, then tells the ref to hold on. Takagi smacks Yujiro off the apron, then again, and again! Fans rally up and Takagi puts Yujiro in the ring. Yujiro crawls away to the far side and bails out again. Yujiro goes looking under the ring and he gets a chair! Takagi takes his time walking over, and Yujiro JAMS him with the chair!

The ref reprimands and takes the chair, and Yujiro knees Takagi low. Yujiro whips but Takagi reverses. Yujiro stops from hitting railing, and he drop toeholds Takagi into the railing! Then REVERSE DDT to the floor! The ref reprimands Yujiro and he apologizes before getting in the ring. Takagi stirs and the ring count starts. Takagi stands up at 6 of 20, he gets frustrated, and he gets in at 10. Yujiro stomps Takagi over and over in the corner then digs his knee in. The ref reprimands, Yujiro brings Takagi up and snapmares for the basement BOOT! Cover, ONE!! Yujiro is surprised and annoyed, but he rains down fists!

The ref reprimands about the closed fists and Yujiro lets off. Yujiro drags Takagi up and bumps Takagi off buckles. Yujiro knees low, throws back elbows, but Takagi clinches! Yujiro digs his forearm into Takagi’s eyes! Yujiro lets off, runs in and BOOTS Takagi again! Fans applaud that bit of agility and Yujiro snapmares Takagi to drop a leg, drop an elbow, and drop a headbutt! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up for “TA-KA-GI!” but Yujiro brings him up. Takagi eggs Yujiro on and Yujiro throws a forearm! And another forearm! And another! Takagi JABS, JABS and JABS, to then DOUBLE CHOP! Fans fire up and Takagi drags Yujiro back up.

Fans fire up as Takagi says it’s go time! Another suplex, but Yujiro wrenches out and BITES the hand! The ref reprimands, Yujiro lets off to fisherman, but Takagi BITES back! Fans cheer the turnabout being fair play but the ref still reprimands. Takagi lets off and wretches from the bad taste. Yujiro ROCKS Takagi then runs, but into the ELBOW! JAB! YUKON LARIAT! Fans fire up again and Takagi pounds the mat. Fans rally and Takagi aims from a corner. Yujiro stands, Takagi runs in to run him over! And then scoops to SLAM, for a SENTON! But that’s not all! Takagi drags Yujiro up, hooks him up, but Yujiro fights the Gory Especial!

Yujiro throws back elbows, but Takagi spins through to suplex! Yujiro fights that so Takagi hits a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! But Takagi says there’s still more! “OI! OI! OI!” Fans clap along and Takagi drags Yujiro back up. But wait, here comes Sho! Takagi sees Sho and his little wrench, but Yujiro sneaks up! Takagi elbows Yujiro away, whips him to ropes, but Yujiro holds ropes. Takagi rushes in, Yujiro dodges and distracts the ref as Sho grabs at Takagi! Yujiro runs in to BOOT Takagi! Yujiro reels Takagi in, INCOLLE SLAM! Fans fire up as both men are down, and Yujiro crawls over to drag Takagi up.

Fans rally for “TA-KA-GI!” as Yujiro fireman’s carries, MIAMI SHINE! Cover, TWO! Takagi is still in this and Yujiro is frustrated. Yujiro drags Takagi back up and reels him in, but Takagi says no to Big Juice! Takagi throws body shots, wrenches out, blocks a haymaker and he HEADBUTTS away on Yujiro! Both men wobble but Takagi runs, only for Sho to be there with a chair! The ref reprimands, Takagi goes back to Yujiro for boxing elbows! Fans rally as Takagi runs again, but into a BOOT! Yujiro runs, but into a clothesline! Takagi runs but Yujiro distracts the ref again, Sho SMACKS Takagi with the chair!

Yujiro reels Takagi in, PIMP JUICE! Cover, TWO!! Takagi survives the screw job and fans fire up! Yujiro pleads with the ref but two is two! Yujiro drags Takagi up but Takagi blocks Big Juice again! Takagi powers up to power out and he ELBOWS! JABS! YUKON feint to the DDT! And SLIDING FOREARM! Fans fire up again as Yujiro flounders around. Takagi gets up and headbutts the buckles to fire back up! LARIAT! But Takagi gets Yujiro up to a MADE IN JAPAN!! Cover, TWO!?!? Yujiro survives and even Sho is shocked! Takagi gets back up as fans rally again. Takagi stands Yujiro up to pump handle and torture rack.

Yujiro wriggles and gets free to the apron to rake eyes! Takagi runs back in but Yujiro dumps him out! Yujiro staggers over, gets Takagi up and whips him into railing! The ref has Sho stay back as Yujiro goes over to bring Takagi around. Yujiro whips Takagi into more railing, and then he wobbles and hobbles to get Takagi back. Takagi fires off forearms in return! Takagi whips, Yujiro reverses and Takagi hits railing even harder! Takagi falls in a heap, Yujiro and Sho both shout for the ring count. The ref starts, Yujiro sits Takagi up, but no Pimp Juice Basement BOOT instead! And then FISHERMAN BUSTER to the floor!

Yujiro gets in the ring at 12 of 20 but Takagi is right after him! Takagi fireman’s carries for a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER to the floor! The count is 16 of 20!! Takagi staggers up and in at 18! Yujiro is down but Sho throws him in at 19.5! Fans fire up as this keeps going, and Takagi runs in at Yujiro with a clothesline! Takagi pump handles, torture racks, but Yujiro BITES again! The ref reprimands, Yujiro throws Takagi’s arm into him! The ref staggers but stays up, Yujiro shove Takagi into him! The ref goes down, Yujiro hits a REVERSE DDT! Fans rally but Sho sends a chair in! Yujiro gets the chair, takes aim and runs in, and he JAMS Takagi low!

Yujiro then reels back to SMACK Takagi on the back! But Takagi LARIATS through the chair! And CHUCKS the chair at Sho!! PUMPING BOMBER!! But that’s not all! Yujiro deserves this one! LAST OF THE DRAGONS!! Cover, Takagi wins!!

Winner: Shingo Takagi, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Yujiro earns 0)

Well, well, well! D Block is looking like a real rock-paper-scissors scenario! Yujiro beat David Finlay, who beat Takagi (and quite a few others) but Takagi just beat Yujiro! What will this mean for the semifinals with another D Block match up next?

 

G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS Will Ospreay!

The Headhunter and the Commonwealth Kingpin are both still alive in the block, but the window is closing! Will the NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Champion shock the IWGP US Heavyweight Champion? Or will Ospreay make sure Hashi does NOT #GetBackUp?

The bell rings and fans rally up. These two circle and tie up, and are in a deadlock. Ospreay finds a point of leverage and he powers Hashi to ropes. Ospreay talks some trash as he lets off, then he pats Hashi on the side. Before he knees low and hard! Ospreay headlocks and grinds Hashi but Hashi throws body shots. Hashi powers up and out to reel Ospreay into a headlock! Fans applaud the exchange, then Ospreay powers up and out. Hashi runs Ospreay over, but Ospreay kips right back up! Fans applaud again the agility, then Ospreay gets Hashi with a “made you look” and SLAP! Hashi CHOPS back!

Ospreay staggers away, stinging from that back hand. Hashi runs in to CHOP again! And whip to CHOP, then mule kick! Hashi turns Ospreay to hit a NECKBREAKER! Cover, ONE, but Hashi keeps cool. Fans rally up and Hashi brings Ospreay up. Hashi CLUBS Ospreay on the back and Ospreay goes to a corner. Hashi stomps and CHOPS Ospreay and Ospreay shouts in pain! Hashi stands Ospreay up and reels him in to suplex. Ospreay slips out, shoves and fireman’s carries to then HOTSHOT! Ospreay runs to BOOT Hashi down! Fans fire up for the agility but Ospreay needs a second from the stinging in his chest.

Ospreay drags Hashi up and bumps him off buckles. Ospreay CHOPS back and Hashi sputters now. Fans fire up and Ospreay wrenches Hashi to whip corner to corner hard! Hashi bounces off buckles and hits the mat hard! Ospreay grabs the bad arm and sets it on the apron, to drop a knee right on it! Hashi shouts in pain and clutches that bad arm. Ospreay drags Hashi off the apron, wrenches the bad arm and then YANKS Hashi into the post! Hashi staggers away and leans against railing from the pain, but Ospreay leaves him behind. Fans rally up for Hashi and the ring count begins. The count is 8 of 20 as Hashi gets in the ring, and Ospreay mockingly applauds.

Ospreay drags Hashi up, but Hashi throws body shots! Ospreay gets the arm for an ELBOW BREAKER! No mercy from the Kingpin as Hashi writhes again. Ospreay tells Hashi this is his last chance to give up now. Hashi refuses so Ospreay omoplatas the good arm. Ospreay CHOPS Hashi in the side then grabs the bad arm! RECLINER ARMLOCK! Cover, but Hashi slips off before Red Shoes can count. Ospreay mockingly applauds as Hashi goes to the apron. Ospreay drags Hashi back in and wrenches again for the snapmare and top wristlock. Hashi endures again and Ospreay digs his knuckles in. Red Shoes reprimands but Ospreay pulls at the arm!

Hashi endures more, even as Ospreay is bending him across his knee! Hashi fights up, throws body shots to get free, but Ospreay CLUBS him down! Ospreay whips Hashi to a corner, runs in, but Hashi dodges! Ospreay hits buckles, but he BOOTS back! Hsahi swings but into a spin from Ospreay! Ospreay suplexes, Hashi fights it off, and Hashi suplexes to get the NECKBREAKER! Fans fire up while both men are down! Hashi and Ospreay both stand, but Hashi CLOBBERS Ospreay with elbows! Hashi whips, Ospreay reverses but Hashi comes back to dropkick the leg out! Then HEADHUNTER! Fans fire up with Hashi as he gets back up!

Ospreay gets to the ropes, Hashi runs in to CHOP! Hashi brings Ospreay up to suplex and hang Ospreay out to dry. Hashi runs side to side to DROPKICK Ospreay down! Then Hashi sits Ospreay up for a basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up and Hashi gets to his feet. Hashi brings Ospreay up and reels him in, but Ospreay wrenches out. Hashi ROCKS Ospreay, kicks him and whips him, but Ospreay handsprings to a NEURALIZER! Direct hit with that kick! Fans fire up as Hashi bails out, Ospreay hurries over to PLANCHA! Direct hit and both men are down! Fans fire up again, and Ospreay slowly sits up first.

Ospreay drags Hashi up and puts him in the ring. Ospreay aims, springboards, PIP PIP CHEERIO! Cover, TWO! Hashi is still in this and fans rally up! Ospreay keeps his focus, he drags Hashi back up, and he reels Hashi in to turn him. Hashi resists, so Ospreay gives him a Kowata Kick and a big CHOP! Hashi staggers to a corner and Ospreay runs in, but Hashi BOOTS back! Hashi runs in but into an elbow! Ospreay runs but into a CHOP! Hashi runs but into the Tiger Wall Kick and ENZIGURI! Fans fire up again as both men are down! Ospreay drags Hashi up, scoops him and SLAMS him, then goes to the corner.

Fans rally as Ospreay climbs, but Hashi rises! Hashi ROCKS Ospreay, CHOPS him, then climbs up after him. Hashi brings Ospreay up, but Ospreay fights the superplex! Fans rally as Ospreay and Hashi trade body shots! Ospreay fires off HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT, then SUPER GOURD BUSTERS Hashi down! Hashi hobbles up, into the FLYING FOREARM to the back! Ospreay gets Hashi up to a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO!! Ospreay is surprised Hashi is still in this, but Ospreay snarls and waits on Hashi to rise. Ospreay then calls his shot, springboards, OS- NO! Hashi full nelsons to a SNAP DRAGON!

Fans rally up again as both men are down. Hashi sits up first but Ospreay follows. Hashi fires up and runs, but Ospreay swats the lariat! So Hashi CHOPS! And aims, to SUPERKICK! Fans fire up and Hashi drags Ospreay into the full nelson. Spin and pump handle, but Ospreay fights Karma with elbows. Ospreay ROCKS Hashi with a forearm, but Hashi comes back with a forearm of his own! Hashi eggs Ospreay on so Ospreay ROCKS him again! Hashi ROCKS Ospreay, but Ospreay ROCKS Hashi! Fans rally as the forearms go faster and faster, and then Hashi CHOPS! Hashi CHOPS again, then again!

Ospreay CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Hashi reels Ospreay in but Ospreay throws a forearm! Hashi HEABUTTS! Ospreay ROUNDHOUSES! Both men fall over and fans are thunderous! Ospreay roars and drags Hashi back up, but Hashi ducks the roundhouse! Pump handle to KARMA!! Hashi has to crawl to the cover, TWO!! Ospreay survives and fans are thunderous again! Hashi is too sore to be upset so he just gets up. Hashi roars, runs, and LARIATS! Ospreay flips around, Hashi gets him up, pump handle and KAR- STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE!! Fans fire up and Ospreay grits his teeth! Springboard, OSCUTTER!! Cover, TWO!?!

Hashi survives and fans can’t believe it! Ospreay can’t believe it, either, but he drags Hashi around. Ospreay prepares his arm, takes aim, but Hashi ducks the Hidden Blade! SUPERKICK! But Ospreay dodges the lariat, to OS- SUPERKICK!! Hashi gets Ospreay with some anti-air and he hurries to add on! DESTROYER!! Cover, TWO!!! Ospreay survives and fans are thunderous again! Hashi pushes himself back up, sits Ospreay up and clamps on with a SLEEPER! Ospreay endures, fights up, but Hashi spins him into the pump handle. Ospreay slips out to HOOK KICK! Hashi runs in to LARIAT! But Ospreay roars!

Ospreay swats a lariat, ROLLING ELBOW to the HOOK KICK, tot he LIGER- FACEBUSTER from Hashi!! Hashi gets Ospreay up to the KUMAGOROSHI!! Cover, TWO!?!? Ospreay survives and the fans are electric! Hashi stands and fires up! Hashi runs, but into a SPANISH FLY! Cover, TWO!! Ospreay drags Hashi right up to turn him, DREAM SMASHER ELBOW! And then from the corner, HIDDEN BLADE!! Cover, Ospreay wins!

Winner: Will Ospreay, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Hashi earns 0)

The Kingpin wins, and the D Block picture is still a mess! Can Hashi recover to have his last G1 match tomorrow? As for Ospreay, will he settle things with Juice Robinson on Tuesday and make the path forward a bit clearer?

 

G1 Climax, B Block: Taichi w/ Miho Abe VS Jay White w/ Gedo!

One way or another, The Holy Emperor finishes his run this weekend, but if he wins here, it might not even matter! Will the Sliest Wrestler in the World be able to snatch a golden ticket off the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion? Or will he breath with the Switchblade as the Jay1 goes 5-0?

White and Taichi both have quite a bit to put aside, from jackets to belts. Taichi shows off the dancing pecs and even White applauds. White gets his moving, too, so he isn’t out of the NJPW Dancing with the Pecs running. White gets impatient with Red Shoes and he Too Sweets with Gedo. The bell rings and fans rally up as White and Taichi stare down. White and Taichi circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Taichi finds a point of leverage and he puts White in a corner. Red Shoes calls the ropebreak, Taichi pats White on the shoulder then backs away. Fans applaud and White dusts himself off. Taichi and White reset and circle again.

Taichi offers White a sumo style showdown. Fans rally up for that and White says okay, but how does it work? They crouch, then Taichi does the sumo stomp. White asks Gedo if that’s how it’s done. White returns the stomp, and they square up at center. But then White pulls hair and RAMS Taichi into the corner! White stomps a mudhole then throws forearms. White mocks the sumo then whips corner to corner. Taichi reverses and runs in but White bails out! White says nope, Taichi isn’t getting the better of him. White wants Red Shoes to keep Taichi back so he can get in. Taichi does back up and White returns.

Gedo grabs Taichi’s foot! White CLUBS away on Taichi, mocks the sumo then whips, but Taichi reverses. White holds ropes and bails out, but Taichi rushes out after him! White slides back in, Taichi pursues, but White facelocks. Taichi RAMS White into a corner! Red Shoes calls the ropebreak, Taichi slowly lets off, but White avoids the cheap shot to CHOP! Taichi just snarls and CHOKES White! Taichi has White in the corner, Gedo protests but then Taichi tells Gedo to shut up before he CHOKES Gedo! White rakes Taichi’s eyes to make him let Gedo go! White fireman’s carries and HOTSHOTS Taichi to the floor!

White applauds mockingly and he smirks as he mocks more of Taichi’s sumo style. White drags Taichi up to CHOKE him on the railing right in front of commentary! Red Shoes reprimands, White lets off and Taichi falls over. White borrows some camera cable to CHOKE Taichi! Red Shoes reprimands but White talks trash on Taichi. White lets off, tells Miho to shut it but she’s all the way on the other side of the ring. White drags Taichi up and into the ring, then puts him on the apron. White CLUBS Taichi in the chest again and again! Gedo likes it as White SMOTHERS Taichi with the apron skirt! Red Shoes reprimands, White tells Miho to shut up, but he does let off.

White is polite enough to put the skirt back where it belongs and he wipes the sweat away with his towel. White drags Taichi to a cover but Red Shoes refuses to count! Gedo and White ask why, but it’s obviously because of the shenanigans with the skirt! Gedo distracts Red Shoes with his dramatic whining so that White can CHOKE Taichi with the towel! Miho protests, Red Shoes sees something’s up, and White lets off on the towel. White tells Red Shoes to relax, it’s just his towel! The towel is taken away, and White gets the fans to clap again. “TA-I-CHI!” “JAY WHI-TO!” White mocks Taichi but Taichi kicks back from the ropes!

Taichi whips White, White reverses and kicks low to throw Taichi by his hair! White CHOKES Taichi, much like Taichi would. Red Shoes reprimands, he won’t count the cover. But White says Taichi does it all the time! Speaking of, Taichi CHOKES White from below! Gedo protests, White stomps Taichi into letting go, then stomps him more! White sputters and coughs at the ropes but fans rally up. White sits Taichi up into a chinlock but Taichi endures. White grinds Taichi down but Taichi kicks around. Taichi pulls White’s hair, stands up, and he throws elbows. Taichi KICKS White’s leg, KICKS it again, then blocks White’s kick to KICK again!

White hobbles away and fans fire up! Taichi storms over but White knees low. White Too Sweet CHOPS! And Too Sweet CHOPS! White whips Taichi corner to corner, then runs in, but Taichi dodges the chop! Taichi CHOKES White again! Gedo protests, Red Shoes reprimands, and White tries to choke Taichi back! Taichi breaks that grip and shoves White into the corner to GAMANGIRI! Fans fire up as both men fall down! White stirs and gets out of the corner while Taichi sits up. Taichi stands and storms up on White to KICK him back down! Fans fire up while White sits back up. Taichi KICKS him down again!

Gedo grows worried for White as he manages to sit up again. Taichi KICKS White down again! Taichi taunts White, looms over him, then drags him up to snapmare and KICK in the back! White writhes and fans fire up as Taichi stalks White to ropes. Taichi drags White up, whips but White reverses. Taichi reverses back to DANGEROUS HOOK KICK! Fans fire up and Taichi looms over White again. Taichi drags White up to reel him in but White fights off the saido! White CLUBS away, fires off forearms, but Taichi KICKS the leg! White hobbles and drops to a knee. Taichi runs in at the corner, White dodges and fireman’s carries, DEATH VALLEY BOMB!

Fans fire up and Gedo cheers, but both men are down. White sits up and clutches his chest while fans rally. Taichi rolls away to a corner but White runs in, UPPERCUT! White brings Taichi out to suplex for BLADEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Taichi is still in this and White is frustrated. White drags Taichi up, reels him in, but Taichi fights the urenage with elbows Taichi wrenches, White ducks the roundhouse and hits a COMPLETE SHOT! White then shifts to a waistlock and he deadlift GERMAN SUPLEXES! Fans fire up but Gedo is the most excited about that one. Fans rally up, White drags Taichi up and reels him in, URENAGE! Stacked cover, TWO!

White is frustrated and Gedo is furious but White sits Taichi up. White wraps on the SLEEPER, then he drags Taichi up! Taichi backs White down but White sends him into the buckles! White runs back in but into a BOOT! Taichi rushes but White ducks to CHOP! Taichi SOBATS, White UPPERCUTS, Taichi ENZIGURIS! Both men are down again and fans fire up! Taichi and White stir, Taichi sits up and fires himself up. Gedo shouts to White to get up but OFF COME THE PANTS! Taichi powers up in the corner and takes aim, but GEDO GRABS MIHO! Gedo’s got Miho by her hair! White waistlocks to SAIDO!!

Gedo says White should finish this, and he’ll keep Miho! White taunts Taichi with his “damsel in distress!” White makes Taichi look, and then he stands on Taichi’s head. White mockingly asks if Miho is okay, and Miho is almost in tears! Fans rally for Taichi but White CHOPS him! And CHOPS him! And CHOPS! Taichi stands up, White CHOPS, and Taichi just glares at Gedo! White wants Taichi to pay attention to him, so Taichi DECKS him!! Taichi goes out after Gedo and Gedo lets go of Miho. Gedo apologizes but Taichi doesn’t care. And in storms Yoshinobu Kanemaru! Suzuki-Gun doesn’t take kindly to mistreating a lady!

Gedo turns around and he sees he’s surrounded! Gedo scurries into the ring but Taichi rushes in after him. Gedo still wants mercy but White full nelsons! Taichi arm-drags White away, and DOUBLE AX BOMBERS! Fans are thunderous and Taichi gets White up to the LAST RIDE!! High stack, TWO!!? White survives but fans are thunderous again! Kanemaru coaches Taichi up while keeping Gedo down. Fans rally up and Taichi snarls. Taichi then roars and fans fire up with him! Taichi aims from the corner, for JYUTEN- NO, White drops down! White uses his opossum technique but Taichi says this isn’t much of a world champion then.

Taichi kicks White around, taunts him, and drags him up. White CHOPS back, but Taichi withstands it! Taichi eggs White on, so White LARIATS! Taichi rebounds, but swings into the SNAP SLEEPER SUPLEX! But Taichi’s right back up! White gets around but Taichi turns things around with a DANGEROUS SAIDO!! Taichi crawls to the cover, TWO! White is still in this but fans rally behind Taichi! Taichi and White rise again and Taichi slashes his throat to say this is done. Taichi Alabama Lifts but White sprawls to block! White brings Taichi up but Taichi breaks free and BUZZSAWS! And then Taichi hooks up the arms!

Wait, Taichi backs off on the Gedo Clutch because actual Gedo is getting in the ring! Taichi KICKS the ropes to low blow Gedo! Gedo falls down but White gets Taichi, BLADE- NO, Taichi throws White down and GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!?!?! White escapes by mere nanoseconds! But Taichi runs in to Alabama Lift and- White slips off! White blocks the kick, reels Taichi in but Taichi elbows free! Taichi clinches and SUMO THROWS! And then Taichi sets up, YOKOZUNA- BLADE- NO! YOKOZUNA ELBOW!!! Cover, TWO!?!?!? White is still surviving by the skin of his teeth! Miho is mad and she wants White to pay!

Fans are thunderous, Taichi slowly stands back up and he roars! Taichi drags White up, reels him into the Alabama Lift, but White sunset flips! BLADE- NO!! DANGEROUS SAIDO!! With bridge, TWO!?!!! Taichi is getting mad now and he drags White up! Alabama, but White wrenches! BLADERUNNER!!!! But White can’t make the cover!! Fans are electric as both men slowly stir! White flounders his way over, he drags Taichi back up, but he can’t get that dead weight up! White has to use the ropes, but Taichi throws haymakers from below! And CHOKES White! White still powers through to BLADERUNNER!!! Cover, White wins!!

Winner: Jay White, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Taichi earns 0)

White is FIVE AND OH! And in one fell swoop, The Switchblade eliminates both the Holy Emperor and the Cold Skull! Their records are not enough to take the block, will they just have to have better luck next year?

But as Taichi is taken away by Young Lions, Kanemaru and Miho trailing after, White gets the mic to say, “Hey! Hey! Come back! Come back!” He even adds in Japanese, “Don’t discriminate.” White then demands ice from the Young Lions, and they bring him a few icepacks. White puts them all on his chest given those sharp kicks from Taichi. He also claims he still has heat stroke like he did earlier this week. MORE ICE! “Shimoda! Shimoda-san, more ice!” Even more ice is brought while some fans are leaving. White again says, “Did you guys not hear? I had heat stroke, I need ice to cool down.”

White chuckles a bit and says, “Heat stroke? HEAT STROKE? I live in Florida! Do you think a little bit of sun, and heat, is going to bother me? How gullible and stupid can you all be?! But I appreciate the days off in Hiroshima, the days off those pointless matches worth zero points in the Jay1 Climax! It was nice to have that rest so I could be well-rested for matches that do matter, like today, and like against one Tama Tonga.” But that’s not what White wants to be saying. He wants to say, “Thank you all so much for all of your heartfelt messages and well-wishes and prayers, saying, ‘Jay White, please get better. Jay White, take care of yourself.'”

That really brought a tear to White’s eye and he wouldn’t be here tonight to fight his heart out for all the fans, if not for all those lovely, lovely messages. White pretends to cry over this but he can’t help but laugh. “Still my ear! Undefeated! Switchblade Era!” Jay drops the mic, but will he keep this momentum going to a spotless 6-0? Or will he drop the ball in the final round against The Good Bad Guy?

 

Here are the NEW standings!

A Block

  • Kazuchika Okada: 4-1, 8 points
  • Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
  • JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
  • Jeff Cobb: 3-2, 6 points
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tom Lawlor: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Toru Yano: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 5-0, 10 points
  • Tama Tonga: 4-1, 8 points
  • SANADA: 3-2, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Taichi: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Zack Sabre Jr: 4-1, 8 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 3-2, 6 points
  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
  • EVIL: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • KENTA: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Aaron Henare: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • David Finlay: 3-2, 6 points
  • Shingo Takagi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Will Ospreay: 3-2, 6 points
  • Yujiro Takahashi: 3-3, 6 points
  • El Phantasmo: 2-3, 4 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 2-3, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]

My Thoughts:

A great event for the G1, and what a great variety in these blocks. Henare VS Kenta was a great match, even with both men out of the running. But Kenta winning makes the most sense, as he’s the veteran and he needs the momentum to take on Hiroshi Tanahashi tomorrow. There is a chance Kenta wins that, as both revenge for their IWGP US Championship No Disqualifications match, as well as clear the way for Naito or Zack Sabre Jr. That win would be a big feather in Kenta’s cap, who knows if it happens. Yano VS Cobb was a ton of fun, but of course Cobb wins to keep going. Cobb VS Lawlor is tomorrow, both their last one this G1, Lawlor could get a HUGE spoiler right at the end here.

The D Block is hilariously chaotic here, and NJPW is brilliant for finding a way to make this work. Yujiro VS Takagi was a very good match, but I figured Takagi would win. Hashi VS Ospreay was awesome stuff, Hashi is continuing to look awesome, but I figured Ospreay would win. Yujiro is right smack in the middle, but he has one of the more important wins since he beat David Finlay to start this G1 before Finlay went on that wild run. Finlay has a win over Takagi, Ospreay and Juice, but ELP also just beat Finlay, and there’s still Finlay VS Hashi tomorrow. No one really knows what will happen if all seven men end up 3-3, so I would think one person has to go 4-2 and then that guy, whoever it is, is D Block’s guy.

Taichi VS White was awesome stuff, and it really felt worth of someone facing the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion. It felt like Taichi could’ve taken that win but in the end, White stays spotless. It will still come down to White VS Tama on Tuesday, “win and you’re in,” and either way, that result is going to be wild. Tama can get the golden ticket and go strong into the semifinals, or White runs the block (granted a smaller block) to look almost unstoppable.

My Score: 8.8/10


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