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Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Petrol Girls – Baby (2022)

Who wants a little bit of European Hardcore Punk? Not a normal genre the JAR partakes in, but this one seemed topical.

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With July just kicking off, I was combing things that came out in late June as well, and this one kinda stuck out to me. Admittedly, I’ve never listened to this band at all before today, but the combination of the band name and album name intrigued me. Given the current political climate after Roe v Wade was moronically overturned, I feel like this album might be more topical than even originally intended.

So for tiny context; Petrol Girls are a UK Punk band (now based in Austria) formed in about 2012 and named after the Pétroleuses, female arsonists, referencing the group of female supporters for the Paris Commune in 1871. With a name derived from a revolutionary mentality, playing punk and most likely having view in line with feminism…this could be one hell of a ride. Let’s find out!

Petrol Girls is: Ren Aldridge (guitar & vocals), Liepa Kuraite (bass & vocals), Joe York (guitar) & May Mansour (drums)

  • Artist: Petrol Girls
  • Album: Baby (2022)
  • Label: Hassle Records
  • Total Track Time: 34:00

Scraps an almost 30 second little instrumental/white noise open to give that off putting sonic dissonance feeling. Preachers gives me some reminiscent feelings of Million Dead but lyrically it is following the theme of people telling women what to do, and how to look/act without knowledge or real ramification. “Mr Sanctimony and his pony, Only know that one trick, Calls it liberation, mans his station, Never budges from it, Our mental exhaustion fuels their fortune, In the silicone pit”, equating how women are treated to a show pony is…pretty damn accurate and I just like this verse. Feed My Fire going for more of the frenetic spoken word open, and the clashing cacophonous aspects during the verse until a fairly melodic chorus before returning the ebb and flow of the jagged instrumentation. Giving the fact all the lyrical imagery is about fire, embers, ash, the erratic arrangement gives a good sonic picture of fire crackling, slowly building in that beautiful yet off time dance that it tends to do. This is really surprisingly cool, evocative and roped me in with relative ease.

Baby, I Had an Abortion, well look at this…yeah I was right to think there was topical content here. Yeah the pre-chorus here adjusts between the first and second, but it’s simple yet fantastic. “Whose life are you pro?, Whose do you want to control?, You want to come inside?, Tell me how I’m traumatized, Shame, shame, shame, Point your finger and cry, oh it’s a, Shame, shame, shame, That I’m not sorry, I’m not sorry”, the Pro-Choice sentiment is obvious here, the fact that antiquated moral and religious views are what people hinge on for Pro-Life is also a point they hit. I won’t go too far into any kind of breakdown cause this isn’t something I can relate to or speak on from the same perspective, I will just say that easy access to abortions should be a thing for those who need it and removing Pro-Choice is some Dark Ages retard shit. Clowns feel like a song about fence sitters. A lot of lines about the left and the right, but being snug as a bug in the middle. Sonically it’s interesting, but really seems to get more and more aggressive about fence sitters. Unsettle brings up vibes of growing older and just being content, but the main lyrics are fighting against the settling malaise that tends to sink in as we get older and fight less and less.

Fight for Our Lives is more of the riot rally spoken word into the megaphone before the chorus. Blaming mainstream media on continuing the narratives that get women and other marginalized groups murdered just because it’s the corporate accepted spin. It’s a simple request that no one should feel like the media is working against them to have them murdered while just trying to go out and enjoy their life. Violent by Design, no this is not Eric Young’s new theme song for his IMPACT! group. It’s a very, anti-police song. Which given how the last few years has dragged a lot of corruption to the forefront just in America, I can only imagine what the vibe is in Europe. I do really like this lyric though; “Oh, are they the good guys?, Are they the nation’s pride?, Always on the right side, The thin blue line is violent by design”. And before someone acts like the king of Moron Mountain, even the song acknowledges it’s “not all” of them; “How many bad apples, Till we look at the tree, Pull at its roots, Confront our history?”

One or the Other has lyrics that are comedic genius. Not comedic like laughably stupid, but it portrays everything that society throws at you, as a very binary answer. According to society, things can only be one or the other, they are mutually exclusive, which is an ignorant mentality to have in life; “Always one or the other, She’s a whore or she’s your mother, There are men and there are women, Now let’s enjoy our gender prison”, given their political views on a lot, this is very possibly a pro-trans song; but honestly it’s just pointing out of a lot of societal stupidity. I don’t think it needs to have a political affiliation since it just makes sense for logic, everything can’t be black and white.

Sick & Tired gives me a lot of Kittie vibes, and honestly this is more commentary on everything they already spoke about. Sick of excuses, having to defend choices and actions, sick of having to fight uphill for justice or basic equality, sick of how society as decomposed to this heap of garbage that it currently is. Bones is interesting since it really continues the Sick & Tired aspect of if you strip away the noise, they’re just bones. So the lyrics express frustration in continuing, if it’s worth it, what it all means…and the ending doesn’t exactly give a resurgence of hope. It does a good job at getting across the precarious position the life puts people in and the exhaustion that just envelops some people.

So to be honest, a lot of this is not my normal bag. Hardcore Punk was something I’m vaguely aware of, and that’s mostly thanks to my old college roommate Steve. I was really just intrigued by the songs, the dynamic of the band mixed with the musical delivery.

Let’s be honest with ourselves here, a lot of what is discussed in this album isn’t “Progressive” or “Feminist rhetoric”, it’s basic humans rights. People that want to cling to a fake book that’s over 2000 years old for guidance or misquote a piece of paper from nearly 250 years ago  really need to take a look in the mirror. These same people think that things that happened 30 or 40 years ago are outdated, yet you’re trying to validate your backwards belief with items that are older than any living human. Stop being a puppet.

As for the album? If you like Hardcore Punk this has a lot of great elements, even some more melodic moments, and maintains the punk spirit since they have a message worth saying. Give it a listen.

Final Judgment: 8.25/10

 


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Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Cannons – Fever Dream (2022)

The JAR decides to kick back on a summer day and just vibe to some electro synthwave. How does Cannons album Fever Dream fair against the judgment?

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The magic of random YouTube recommendations strikes again! Upon rummaging through many different genres including indigenous folk pop (yes I know what I said), assortments of metal, some country and random soundtracks…it tells me about this little Retro Synthwave group out of California.

Being around for about a decade, they have a very interesting indie sound. So I’m late to the party, as per usual with the random YouTube recommendations. An ethereal retro dream pop sound is definitely how I would describe what I’ve heard before noticing they had a 2022 album, and it would be an easy thing to cover. So it’s time to work away from Heavy Metal for a little and just chill out.

Cannons is: Michelle Joy Lewis (vocals), Ryan Clapham (guitar) & Paul Davis (bass & keyboard)

  • Artist: Cannons
  • Album: Fever Dream (2022)
  • Label: Columbia Records
  • Total Track Time: 38:28

Come Alive very simple and defined bassline with the drum kick keyboard effect. It has a very hypnotizing vibe of like driving down the highway and just getting lulled to sleep by the lights. With the lyrics talking about being alone for a while, and dreaming about the other person, it fits that driving towards a destination vibe. Very chill and groovy. Hurricane was actually the song that YouTube recommended to me. The chorus is catchy; “Coming back like a hurricane, I’m gonna take you higher, On a cloud of silver haze, I wanna take you higher, Away, away, away”, and the music sways like the calmest wind in the world. So the concept of taking someone away and wanting to rearrange their surroundings I feel is more of a positive winds of change than the usual violent hurricane analogy. The song is cool, even if the lyrics don’t quite fit. Strangers a very 80s synth rhythm section to this song. Like it feels like a Rockwell song. Atmospherically it feels like spiraling down, which seems to work for the sea of strangers gimmick and getting lost in the sound. So it grooves nicely, but at least it’s slightly faster than the hypnotic tones they’ve taken so far.

Tunnel of You immediately had me think Chris Isaak Wicked Game. It’s got a distant hollowed guitar tone and starts off very somber and has that same elongated strum that Wicked Game has. It’s definitely got that cute yet reflective vibe to the lyrics as well, “Hey, why don’t you come around? I miss you, babe, Stay and lift me up, don’t let me hit the ground, ‘Cause I’ve been walking past midnight, And I’ve been talking to the moon about you”. A weird, somewhat melancholic portraying of falling in love or still being in love but something has or will cause things to fall apart. Bad Dream definitely has more of that 80s electro bop to it. A simple song about going to a show where you liked a person, but someone got to them before you could, so you’re living a bad dream. All of the nice elements to make for a great 80s montage of driving away upset you lost your shot with the person you liked. Ruthless okay this still has the expected echo effect on the vocals and the general feeling of the song, but the bassline, bass drum kicks and clap sections definitely give it more of a Duran Duran kind of vibe. Still well within the wheelhouse, but I’m honestly glad they move into a few different tempos and colors for songs from time to time. Also I will say, the way she says “fuck you” in the chorus has a cuteness to the degree of the Lily Allen song Fuck You. 

Only You is a sweet song. On an album with a few hit or miss love opportunities, some break ups, something done to a Waltz tempo about feeling better with someone special is nice. “Sometimes, I feel dizzy, Sometimes, I’m a mess, Sometimes, I feel stupid, Sometimes, I forget, Sometimes, I feel amazing, But never too often // Unless I’m with you, It could only be you, And when I’m with you, Nothing else will do, ‘Cause it could only be you”, most of us can relate to this song, and the stripped down, Cloud 9, Beach Boys arrangement is just really nice. Goodbye immediately jumps to the dissolution of a relationship. So we go from sweet, to a song that feels like riding off into the sunset and never looking back; “Come back and work it out with me, It’s plain to see, I need you, but do you need me?, Come back and work it out with me, I’m on my knees, I need you, but do you need me”. Just kinda vibing to the desert highway red sunset feeling the song gives off. Purple Sun okay so this was the second song I heard, and immediately loved it. Conjures up so many colors and vibes of 311 Amber, that I honestly decided to cover the album, purely because of this song. Lyrically it feels like she’s come to terms with just having fun with the other person even if the feelings aren’t deep anymore, but it’s just a song where you grab a Mojito, lay out and relax.

Afterglow is actually really perfectly titled. It has that nice moonlit after “the romance” vibe. And the lyrics seem to echo that where the narrator is willing to follow the lover into sun and hold them in the afterglow. The album does a really good job at applying similar concepts with enough of a different vibe to get things across. Break ups with venom, heartbreak, first loves, missed opportunities, unrequited love, all while staying in that Retro Synthwave genre comfortably. Lightning has a similar concept to the previous song, but this feels much more positive and less dreamy. “Cause you are the only thing I’ve ever gotten right, Nothing comes close, you’re the only one I’m letting inside, ‘Cause you are the only thing I’ve ever gotten right, Nothing comes close, you’re the only one I need in this life”, they are such simple lyrics but they work well. The song in general is also acoustic which I wasn’t expecting and was devoid of a lot of the synth effects, but that also makes it more vulnerable and sweet. So very well done on capturing the essence of the song instead of just trying to force it into a genre box.

What more can I say, that I didn’t already get across in the review? If you like the lofi chill vibe, synthwave or just generally that electro reggae-ish kinda groove, this is your jam. If you need more teeth or triplets or mid bar tempo changes into polyrhythmic syncopations…dude go away I covered Meshuggah months ago.

Legitimately though, it’s a cool album, it’s evocative, catchy and an easy listen at less than 40 minutes. You know, I’m just gonna be having fun…underneath the Purple Sun.

 

Final Judgment: 8.25/10


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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (8/14/22)

Fallout from Treasure Island 3!

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HPW News 2022

The landscape of HPW has been altered!

The gold was all over HPW Treasure Island 3, and we have some NEW champions to hear from! Will Arrow Club start the party already?

 

After the HPW Trios Championships match.

Ganondorf, Zant and Agahnim hobble into the back.

Zant and Agahnim are disappointed but Ganondorf is furious. He’s blaming Zant for that loss, since he tagged in and then got hit with the finish. But Zant angrily points out that they would’ve lost anyway because Ganondorf got hit with that big Grenade, too! Ganondorf gets angrier because Zant talked back but Agahnim tries to keep the team together. Zant and Ganondorf both tell Agahnim to shut up, and then Ganondorf pops Zant up to GANON BOMB him through the table! Ganondorf glares at Agahnim but he backs away and Ganondorf storms off. Is GZA already RIP in HPW?

Arrow Club walks backstage triumphantly.

Mack & Rick Quackson sing “Heeey~ we won the tiiitles! Heeey~ we won the tiiitles!” while dancing around a bit. Bad Croc Scaly holds up his belt with both hands like a banner, and Fin Balure greets them with applause. Fin congratulates them all on hitting their target. Arrow Club is golden, but there are still targets left to hit. The Ducks say that’s right, and then Rick asks who made the mess (broken table with Zant still down in the wreckage). Mack says, “I dunno, probably a bunch of losers.” Arrow Club shares a laugh then heads out, and we already know what their plan was to get those other titles.

 

After the Eventide Challenge.

Hilda hobbles in with Ravio’s help.

Her Grace doesn’t really lose with grace, she’s pouting and moping right now. Their plan with the golden balls was so good, why did it fail? Ravio tells her not to say that too loudly, but we all heard it. Hilda says their only way back now is the Hyrule Warriors match, but that’s such a hard match to win. Ravio says there is another title out there. Hilda thinks about that, and understands what he means.

Skull Kid storms in.

And he’s cussing up a storm from all the bleeps. He starts throwing water bottles, he kicks the table over, shakes the backdrop and lights, then headbutts a TV screen, cracking it! Skull Kid storms off, what will he do while in such a rage?

Hollywood ReDead and The UnderWorld Order walk in.

ReDead is holding up a bucket as he glares at the camera. “Ravio! You stupid little purple jackrabbit bastard! If I see even one ear of yours, I’m gonna rip it right off your head and shove it down your throat! You and your stupid balls got in the way!” Ted Beedle Ossi asks, “Wait, his balls?” “Yes, his golden balls that looked just like the prize! The NOID was violated, he should be fined!” Beedle agrees, they need to look into this, bring HPW Legal into it, and one way or another, Ravio will pay! Gomess also brings up that The Dark Forces are going to pay, but with blood, sweat and tears! uWo Gibdo nods, but how will HPW management look to handle all of this?

Cia and the Dark Forces walk in.

Just as the uWo were grumbling about them, the Dark Forces are grumbling about the uWo. “Those jerks thought they could void the NOID?” Cia says. “Guess not!” Wizzro tells the uWo to watch their backs, and Volga says they’re going to burn the UnderWorld Order down! Dark Forces Gibdo nods, will we see these factions collide in the ring again?

Groose walks in with Link.

The Skyfall Stud is singing Link’s praises, “OH~ Hero of Hy~rule! OH~ Hero of HyYYy~rule!” Groose then shifts to “LINK! LINK! LINK! LINK!” Link smiles a bit sheepishly as he and Groose get some water. Groose chugs, still in just his speedo. Groose lets out a loud satisfied sigh and then pats Link hard on the back. “Congrats on that huge win, buddy. That was a great match. And whoever wins this main event, you’re going right for ’em! If it’s Fin, you’ll have an awesome first-time match. You haven’t faced him before, right?” Link shakes his head no. And then there’s Link’s brother, Kage. If Kage wins, he and Link will have another 1v1 match. And…

Groose trails off, realizing that’s a bit of a sensitive subject. He coughs then drinks a bit more water. Link sighs, takes another sip himself, then heads off. Who was Link rooting for when watching the main event?

 

After the HPW Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge.

Tali and Shabonne storm in.

They’re both upset, and they keep saying, “Torbevito?!” with incredulous attitudes. Shabonne then asks while looking around, “How did that guppy get to the front of the line? There should’ve been wrestlers out the door wanting after The Dame of the Dunes! Or was everyone just too scared?” Tali asks, “Then what does that makes Torbevito? The bravest person in the world? Or just some crazy weirdo in a mask?” Shabonne can only say, “I don’t know, I don’t know.” But Shabonne does promise that if Torbevito got a second chance, then Tali will definitely get a rematch! Tali herself says, “Torbevito, you’re just a flavor of the month. And I’m gonna slap the taste out your damn mouth!”

Arrow Club returns again.

The Young Ducks sing a new version, “Heeey~ he won the tiiitles! Heeey~ he won the tiiitles!” as Torbevito walks in, victoriously holding up the Death Mountain Championship. Fin is there to welcome Torbevito to the club. Arrow Club grows stronger with another target taken down. Just one more to go tonight! Arrow Club strikes a group pose and heads out again so that Fin can prepare for the main event.

 

After the HPW Goddess Championship.

Veran walks in.

The Sorceress of Shadows is very thankful that HPW reached out to her a couple months ago. The Termina event and everything that built up to it was a great time, and the two matches with Zelda were incredible. She loves that pro-wrestling is helping the world come together in the spirit of competition. She hopes to see the fans out there again as the new chapter of her career continues. When and where will we see the former TCW Women’s Champion again?

Zelda walks in.

The Princess of Hyrule is a bit emotional as she walks in. She is honored to have faced Veran twice, but they are tied 1-1. If HPW wants to put it together, Zelda will gladly give Veran a tiebreaker third match. But then Hilda hobbles back in, Ravio still helping her walk. Hilda tells Zelda not to get ahead of herself. Zelda’s title reign may have lasted one year, seven months and 13 days, but it won’t last much longer. Ravio says, “Yeah! It’ll only last, uh, one year and 10 months!” Hilda tells Ravio to shut up, his math ruined her threat. But yes, Hilda wants her title shot at the next major HPW PPV. It doesn’t matter where or what day of the week, Hilda wants next!

Zelda says fine, they can take this to management and sort it out. “But considering I just took on a living legend, there’s no way someone who cheated their way to the Triforce Tournament Finals is going to take this title from me.” Zelda then pushes past Hilda and Hilda scowls. Will we see this match for Clash of Fates?

 

After the HPW Triforce & Termina Championships main event.

Arrow Club walks in again…

Bad Croc Scaly is propping up a barely conscious Fin with one arm while the Ducks protest. They can’t believe Kage drove Fin’s head into the belt! Completely uncalled for! A reporter points out that they introduced the belts as weapons into the situation. Mack says, “Yeah, well, that doesn’t excuse Kage using them!” Rick adds, “And what the heck did Link come out for? I thought he hated his brother.” Mack says no, Kage hates Link, but that should’ve also been a reason for him to not come out. Torbevito says it’s fine, they’re still a golden Arrow Club! Fin is still Termina Champion! He’ll just wait until he gets another chance! “Right, Fin?”

Fin doesn’t so much speak as he does gurgle and groan. The rest go, “Uh… Yeah!” Rick says, “He’s gonna kick the ass of whoever’s Triforce Champion! Just you wait and see!” Arrow Club heads out once more, but will the Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla really get another chance to become a double champion? Or will he just have to worry about defending the title he still has?

Kage tells Link to get out of his way.

The Hero’s Shadow is still HPW Triforce Champion after the fiasco caused by Arrow Club, but he’s not happy to have retained like that. “Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla, you coward. You weren’t going to beat me anyway, so I guess the joke’s on you! Hope it was worth having that belt’s faceplate permanently stamped on your forehead!” Kage then turns his attention back to his brother, Link. “And for you,” Kage says. “Mr. Eventide, huh? Can’t just stay away from the spotlight, huh? I’m going to make you regret it. Last year, you survived. This year, you won’t!” Kage then pushes past Link to take his leave.

The HPW reporter asks Link how he feels knowing that he will face off against Kage 1v1 one year later, just as Kage said. Link looks down at the ground, sighs, runs his hands through his hair, then walks off without a word. What will happen as the Hero of Hyrule and his blood brother clash once more?


My Thoughts:

What great developments here! GZA is the shortest lived faction in HPW history, as they ended up transitional champions just to check the Trios titles off in Ganondorf’s resumé, and Hilda is shifting gears from Triforce to Goddess Championship. The Arrow Club is errywhere, except the Women’s Division, so maybe someone joins them in the near future…? And there’s of course heat between Kage and Link, which will only get more intense as we approach that match. There’s big plans there for sure. And there is going to be an article coming up to explain what Dark Horse Stampede is about, so make sure to follow The Chairshot for that.


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