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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (7/1/22)

One more before MITB!

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SmackDown 2022

It’s a battle of the brands!

Before battling for the Women’s Money in the Bank contract, Raw’s Asuka, Liv & Bliss team up against SmackDown’s Lacey, Raquel & Shotzi! Which side comes out with momentum going into Las Vegas?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 10 Man Battle Royal: Happy Corbin wins.
  • The New Day VS The Viking Raiders; No Contest.
  • Six Woman Tag: Asuka, Liv Morgan & Alexa Bliss VS Lacey Evans, Raquel Rodriguez & Shotzi Blackheart; Asuka, Liv & Alexa win.
  • Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match Fatal 4 Way Qualifier: The Miz VS Happy Corbin VS Mad Cap Moss VS Ezekiel; Moss wins and advances to MITB.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Men’s Money in the Bank participants are in the ring, and on ladders.

Drew McIntyre, Matt Riddle, Sami Zayn, Sheamus and Seth Rollins are high above, but Omos is standing on his own without a ladder since he’s already gigantic. Phoenix is fired up but there is still one ladder open, representing the remaining seventh spot. Rollins welcomes everyone to the show, and says we’re starting off on ladders because MITB is right around the corner! Rollins feels he can speak for everyone here- McIntyre says, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, sweet child of mine, you do not speak for Drew McIntyre.” Riddle says yeah, Rollins doesn’t speak for Drew. Well okay BRO~!

Rollins was just going to say that whoever wins the MITB contract tomorrow, “we can all agree that the best place to cash in is SummerSlam, when Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns beat the hell out of each other in a Last Man Standing Match!” And since Rollins has done it before, he can tell you that it’s like taking candy from a baby. Now whether it’ll be a tiny Samoan baby or a tiny Beast baby- Okay, okay, bro, we get it. But Riddle says he’s rooting for Roman. So that Riddle can cash-in and beat that “disgusting, despicable dirt bag, bro!” Sami says that is NOT gonna happen!

Sami reminds us all of something: The Honorary Uce is in this match! And what that means is that Sami will climb the ladder, grab the briefcase, and that contract stays in house with the Bloodline! As long as Sami has the contract, that means Roman Reigns will be safe from the vultures. MVP says Sami once again impresses him with his idiocy! In fact, they’re all idiots! You don’t see this literal giant here? And Vegas, appropriately, is saying Omos’ 7’3″, 300 pound frame is the odds-on favorite to win! There is nothing anyone can do to stop that! So it doesn’t matter what happens with Lesnar and Roman, OMOS will be the Last Man Standing at SummerSlam!

Sheamus says he sees what MVP means. If Roman is the “Last Lad Standing,” then Sheamus will be over the bleedin’ moon, cuz he already cashed in on Roman! But if it swings the other way and Mr. BRRROCK! LESNARRR! Is the last one standing, then Sheamus is going to have to switch Lucky Charms for Wheaties, because that’s a whole different bowl, lads. McIntyre says, “Speak for yourself, Fella.” McIntyre beat Lesnar before, and in under five minutes. And tomorrow night, McIntyre beats all of these guys to win the MITB briefcase. But wait, The Miz makes his way out here? No one understands why but Miz has a smirk on his face and a mic in his hand.

“Drew, do you remember the last time I held that contract? I successfully cashed it in on you.” Miz is the ONLY Two-Time Mr. MITB in this company! Miz deserves to be in this match tomorrow night! But then out comes EZEKIEL! Fans fire up and Zeke says in case there’s anyone who doesn’t know who he is, he is Elias’ younger brother. And Zeke was supposed to have a qualifier with Kevin Owens, so if anyone deserves to be in this match, it’s him. And now Bum Ass- Er, Happy Corbin is here. Corbin tells Zeke that he is as dumb as his brother. And Miz, Corbin won this contract before, too. And no one, and he means no one, is as lucky as Corbin in Vegas!

But here comes MAD CAP MOSS! Moss tells Corbin that we were supposed to be done with jokes. The thought of Corbin squandering the contract again is hysterical, though. But no worries. Corbin won’t have the chance, because Moss is stepping up to take that last spot! Everyone argue about who is in and out, and Adam Pearce comes out to calm everyone down. He feels the tension, but he has a way to blow it off. Here’s a preview of the MITB match itself. Let’s move the ladders out, for a good ol’ fashioned BATTLE ROYAL! And it starts right now! A battle royal!? For a spot? The seventh spot or someone else’s spot? We’ll have to wait and see, after the break!

 

10 Man Battle Royal!

It seems this is just about asserting dominance before going for the grand prize! Will it be someone already in the Men’s MITB Ladder Match who comes out on top? Or will one of the hopefuls use this to prove their worth?

The bell rings and Riddle rushes Omos! Rollins is after Zeke, Corbin is after McIntyre, Omos throws Riddle off but Sheamus and Moss try! The Miz and Sami, wily as ever, hang back and watch things unfold. Miz stomps Riddle down, Zeke CLUBS Rollins and Omos CLUBS Sheamus! Zeke tries to lift Rollins up and out and Moss goes after Miz, and Riddle jumps onto Omos’ back! Sheamus kicks Omos low, Sami still stays the odd man out. Omos throws Riddle off, CLUBS Sheamus down, Miz turns things around on Moss, only for Moss to turn things around on Miz! McIntyre throws Corbin at the ropes but Corbin holds on desperately!

Sami stomps Riddle while he’s down, throws him over the ropes, but Riddle clings to ropes! Zeke dodges Miz’s chop to CHOP Miz! McIntyre ROCKS Miz, CLUBS Corbin, CHOPS Miz, then CHOP him again! Omos digs his knees into Moss, Sheamus CLUBS Rollins, and McIntyre CHOPS Miz again! McIntyre throws Miz over the ropes but Miz holds on! McIntyre tries to scrape Miz off but Miz rakes eyes! Omos fires off elbows on Zeke in the corner! Miz bumps McIntyre off buckles, Rollins fires off on Moss. Omos CLOBBERS Zeke up and out and ELIMINATES him! Omos taunts everyone else while MVP talks some trash, too.

Riddle and Sheamus fight at the ropes, McIntyre fires off on Miz! Omos is after Moss but Moss throws hands! Fans fire up but Omos KNEES Moss low, throw him out and ELIMINATE him! The Nigerian Giant has cleared out two would-be contenders, and then Sami feeds Miz to Omos! Omos TOSSES and ELIMINATES Miz! MVP says that’s his guy doing the heavy lifting! Riddle fires off on Omos but Omos KNEES him down. McIntyre dares Omos to bring it, and fans fire up as the two stare down. Omos is a head taller but McIntyre fires off haymakers! Omos choke grips, grinds Mcntyre down, but McIntyre powers back up!

Fans fire up as McIntyre breaks Omos’ grip and ROCKS him with haymakers! Omos HEADBUTTS McIntyre down! Sheamus fires off hands on Omos now but Omos whips him to a corner. Omos back elbows Sheamus, then he looks at Sami. Sami says hold on, he helped him with Miz. Sami throws hands but Omos CLUBS Sami down! Omos spots Rollins but Rollins looks up at the briefcase. Rollins says screw it, and ELIMINATES himself! Rollins can’t lose his spot, so he doesn’t need to fight. But Riddle goes out under the ropes, to RKO Rollins!! Fans fire up, but Omos drags Riddle back up onto the ropes!

Riddle squirrels around to get a HANGING ARMBAR!! Sheamus and McIntyre help out, they DUMP and ELIMINATE Omos!! Phoenix is thunderous while the Celtic Connection stares down, and SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns, Sheamus has Sami in a corner but Riddle CLOBBERS him from behind! Riddle fires off forearms and CHOPS! McIntyre and Corbin brawl, Sami scurries away, but Riddle fires off KICKS on Sheamus. Riddle runs side to side to forearm smash! Riddle runs the other way, dodges Sami’s cheap shot, but Sheamus CLOBBERS Riddle! Corbin digs his boots into McIntyre, and he stares Pat McAfee down over the SummerSlam challenge. Sami and Sheamus double whip Riddle up and out, but Riddle holds onto the ropes! Sami tries to kick Riddle off the apron but Riddle holds on and makes it back in!

Corbin throws McIntyre over! McIntyre holds on, he and Corbin brawl more! HOTSHOT sends Corbin floundering away! But then Sami CLOBBERS McIntyre! Fans rally for Riddle and he counter punches Sheamus at the ropes! Riddle CHOPS, slingshots, and fires off haymakers and body shots! Riddle KICKS, Sheamus blocks and short arm LARIATS! Sami and Corbin try to work together against McIntyre, and then Corbin helps Sheamus with Riddle. McIntyre just feeds off Sami’s haymakers, and then Sheamus throws hands on Sami! McIntyre CHOPS Sami, bumps Sami off buckles, then fires off fast hands!

Sheamus has McIntyre move aside, and now Sheamus fires hands on Sami! Fans taunt “BUM ASS CORBIN!” as he goes after Riddle. Riddle kicks Corbin away from the corner, and leaps, into a choke grip! CHOKE SLAM BACKBREAKER! Riddle writhes while McIntyre TOSSES Sami! Sheamus kicks Sami to ropes, drags him up from under the bottom rope, and he gives him Beats of the Bodhrain! McIntyre goes after Corbin in the corner, and then Riddle lurks behind Sheamus. Sami stops the Bodhrain to HOTSHOT Sheamus, and Riddle fireman’s carries! BRO TO SLEEP! Fans fire up and Riddle hits a BROTON!

Sheamus staggers to ropes, Riddle brings him up but Sheamus CHOPS him. Sami and Corbin mug McIntyre. Riddle and Sheamus brawl, Riddle BOOTS then dodges Sheamus to POWERSLAM! Sheamus ends up on the apron, Riddle brings him through the ropes, DRAPING DDT! Fans fire up and Riddle is hearing voices, bro! RK- NO, Sheamus denies Riddle and Riddle goes over the ropes! Riddle ROCKS Sheamus back, but Sheamus BROGUES Riddle down and ELIMINATES him! Fans boo but Sheamus grins, only to turn around into a CHOKE SLAM from Corbin! Sheamus is down but Corbin helps Sami mug McIntyre again.

Corbin brings McIntyre up so Sami can throw body shots and haymakers. Sami talks some trash, runs, but McIntyre BOOTS him! McIntyre elbows Corbin, fires off elbows and forearms on both of them, but Corbin waistlocks. They end up in a corner, Sami runs in, HELLUVA KICK hits Corbin! Corbin dodges Sami to hit a NECKBREAKER! Fans fire up with McIntyre’s kip up! McIntyre aims from a corner, counts it down, BROGUE from Sheamus!! Sheamus grins again and he hauls McIntyre up. Sheamus tosses McIntyre up and out but McIntyre holds on! McIntyre hammers Sheamus away, but Sheamus runs in, but the Brogue misses!

GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTT! Sheamus staggers away, McIntyre gets back in, and he LARAITS! McIntyre rallies on Sheamus, whips him to ropes, and hits the OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And then another OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Sami LEAPS in, but into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! McIntyre gives Sheamus FUTURE SHOCK! Fans fire up with the Scottish Warrior but Sami throws him at the ropes! McIntyre holds on, elbows Sami away, then dodges Sami to CLAYMORE!! McIntyre tosses and ELIMINATES Sami! Sheamus goes after McIntyre but McIntyre tosses him over! Corbin DUMPS them both and WINS!!

Winner: Happy Corbin

That Bum Ass wins like a jackass! But will this get him any closer to the MITB contract? Or will Corbin just have to settle for the ego boost?

 

Backstage interview with Happy Corbin.

Kayla Braxton congratulates him on the win and he says this is great! Do you see how happy he is? Corbin is so happy that he is fartin’ rainbows! He eliminated Drew, Sheamus, Seth (uh, no…), he eliminated EVERYONE! (Bigger no.) But did you see those pathetic looks on the fans’ faces? Just imagine those at home! It was amazing! And he knows no one will stop bitching or complaining about who he is or how great he is! Kayla points out McAfee’s SummerSlam challenge. Corbin stops being happy and seems speechless. Is it going to be a yes or a no from Corbin about taking on McAfee in Tennessee?

 

Backstage interview with Natalya.

Megan asks her about last week’s harsh comments from Ronda Rousey. Natty says that is all Ronda has left! She’s bashed Natty’s charisma, her looks, like Ronda is the one to talk. Natty’s seen the movies Ronda’s been in. And she understands why Hollywood isn’t knocking anymore. But while Ronda has made her snide comments, Natty’s seen nothing but fear in her eyes. Natty sees fear because she knows the Sharpshooter hurt Ronda, and that Ronda isn’t 100% physically. That is why Ronda is lashing out like a child. Ronda can make fun of Natty and her “rack” all she wants, it won’t get to her.

Natty will take Ronda down, putt her in the Sharpshooter, and make Ronda tap out! And she’ll be the first person to do that ever, and become a TWO-TIME SmackDown Women’s Champion! The only thing Ronda will be left holding is her 10 month old baby. Is this Natty making a promise? Or her own way of lashing out for what Ronda said?

 

The New Day VS The Viking Raiders!

Xavier Woods & Kofi Kingston, as well as the Skyscraping Shanky, were blindsided by the RAID! Erik & Ivar are back with a new and more violent edge, will they cut down the former ELEVEN TIME WWE Tag Team Champions? Or will Woods & Kofi prove that the Power of Positivity will never be stopped?

SmackDown returns and Woods has the mic to shout out Phoenix, Arizona. “It’s ya bois, the NEW~ DAY~!” And Kofi says there ain’t no better place to be in June than Phoenix, BAAABYYY~! Wait, Kofi, June is over. It is? Julying! HA! Fans laughed, they understood the joke! Pay up! Woods hands over a sweet $5 over that one. But Kofi says they are the guys who, when you come to a show, they make sure fans have a good time. And last week, everyone wanted to see a human skyscraper dance machine. New Day gave us that with Shanky! Shanky was cuttin’ a rug, hitting his thing, it was a great time. Until them damn Viking Raiders ruined it! RUINED IT!

Yes, boo them. Boo louder! Louder!! And to be honest, last week, it was not a good Viking Experience. But they get it. Now they’re being serious Vikings. The new VICIOUS Vikings, the dangerous Raiders! But if they’re dangerous, maybe… “Let’s get dangerous!” So then, serious, newly vicious Viking Raiders, bring your Asgards out here so they can send you to Helheim! BECAAAAUSE! NEW! DAY ROCKS! NEW! DAY ROCKS! And war horn blows, and here comes Ragnarok! Erik & Ivar indeed are vicious as they snarl their way to the ring. The ref wants the teams to sort out but they’re all staring down instead.

Woods offers the mic to the Viking Raiders, and then drops it! To then throw hands! Fans fire up as the brawl is on, but Erik CLOBBERS Kofi with his shield! Ivar CLOBBERS Woods with his! Erik CHOKES Kofi, Ivar hammers away on Woods! Then a feed to the SHIELD BASH from Erik!! Fans boo as the Viking Raiders then CLOBBER Kofi back down! Erik & Ivar don’t care about the match, and they decide to keep going! They haul Kofi up, to DOUBLE POWERBOMB him down! Erik drags Woods over to be beside Kofi so that the Vikings can stand over both of them. The Viking Raiders head out, will they lay waste to the SmackDown Tag Division?

 

Adam Pearce stops the arguments backstage.

He has The Miz, Moss, Corbin and Ezekiel all stop shouting. Kevin Owens cannot compete, which Zeke says should be grounds for him being in MITB. Corbin says who cares about that, Corbin just won that battle royal! Miz says he was on The Today Show at 5 AM! He traveled 2500 miles just to be here! Moss says he’s just happy to be here period. Pearce says each of them has a case but there’s only room for one. The four of them are in a Fatal 4 Way, win and you’re win! Moss and Zeke are good with that. Will this bring Corbin’s mood back down given the odds aren’t in his favor?

 

Six Woman Tag: Asuka, Liv Morgan & Alexa Bliss VS Lacey Evans, Raquel Rodriguez & Shotzi Blackheart!

It’s Raw VS SmackDown in a battle of six of the seven Women’s MITB participants! Will no one be ready for the Empress, the Living End and the Five Foot Fury? Or will the Model Soldier, Big Mami Cool and the wild child defend home turf before going into the ladder match?

SmackDown returns as Team SmackDown makes its entrance. The teams sort out and Shotzi starts against Asuka, but here comes Becky Lynch! The Man struts out with a mic to say, “Welcome to the Big Time! You know nothing important until Big Time comes around, and here I am in all my brilliance! Sorry, Phoenix, though, you’re gonna have to wait, though. I’m sitting this one out. After all I’ve been through to qualify, to finally get into the MITB Ladder match? No, no, no. You’re gonna have to wait to see me fight. And I’m not letting any of you snakes try to take me out, because I know that’s what you’ll do because I’m the biggest threat in this match!”

Fans are torn but Becky says instead, she will just lend her expertise to the commentary table to sit with Pat and “Mihal.” So go ahead, fight for her, ladies, give her something entertaining. The bell rings, Shotzi and Asuka circle and fans rally up. They approach but Shotzi avoids the grapple, and then she avoids a backhand! And another! Shotzi goes back to the SmackDown corner, and she argues with her team. Fans rally as Lacey tags in, and she circles with Asuka. They tie up, Lacey arm-drags Asuka but Asuka jumps the sweep. Lacey ducks the backhand, waistlocks, then whips Asuka hard into the corner.

Raquel tags in, she and Lacey set Asuka up for a SPLASH, then a HEADSTAND BRONCO BUSTER! Raquel covers, TWO! Raquel hauls Asuka up but Asuka fires off hands! Asuka sunset flips but Raquel stays up. Asuka dodges the elbow drop to SLIDING KICK! Tag to Alexa and fans fire up. Alexa smiles as she stares down with Raquel. Alexa does her best to look bigger as she struts around, and then she realizes she’s cornered. Raquel smiles back as she keeps Alexa caught, puts her in the corner and SPLASHES! Raquel whips corner to corner hard, then brings Alexa back up to scoop. Alexa kicks and gets free, only to get run over!

Fans fire up with Raquel and she puts Alexa in the corner. Alexa avoids the boot, tags in Liv, and fans really fire up for the double toehold! And double basement dropkicks! Liv covers, TWO! Liv brings Raquel up but Raquel blocks the whip. Raquel whips Liv, but Liv RANAS! Fans fire up and Liv runs into the corner, to SHINING WIZARD! Liv shoves Raquel away, runs back in, but no Code Breaker! Shotzi tags in as Raquel TOSSES Liv, then Shotzi covers, TWO! Shotzi stomps Liv, drops an elbow, then stalks Liv to ropes. Shotzi runs, CANNONBALL against ropes! Cover, TWO! Shotzi CLUBS Liv, whips her to a corner, then runs in, only for Liv to give her BROKEN WINGS!

Liv hurries after but Shotzi bails out of the ring. Fans boo and Shotzi wants Team Raw to stay back. She doesn’t want Lacey bothering with her, either, but Lacey says Shotzi should get in the ring. Liv builds speed while they argue, and she DIVES! Direct hit at the ramp but perhaps double-edged! Raquel hurries over but Asuka HIP ATTACKS her, and Alexa CANNONBALLS! Team Raw is in control as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns again and Asuka fights against Raquel’s chinlock. But Raquel CLUBS Asuka down, then drags her up to RAM her with shoulders. Raquel brings Asuka up again, but Asuka gets away! Alexa tags in, she dodges Raquel to KICK away on Raquel’s leg! Alexa SLAPS, ROCKS, KICKS and SHOTGUNS Raquel down! Fans fire up with Alexa and she eggs Raquel on. Alexa KICKS her in the leg again, then LEAPS, but into Raquel’s arms! Shotzi tags in while Raquel carries Alexa. And then Shotzi trips Raquel to make her POWERSLAM Alexa! Shotzi is practically fighting her own teammates! Cover, TWO!

Raquel is upset but she has to exit. Shotzi stomps Alexa, drops a leg splitting leg drop, then covers, TWO! Shotzi drags Alexa up, whips her to a corner, then runs in to SPLASH! Shotzi laughs and goes up the corner to reel Alexa in. HANGING HEADSCISSORS! The ref counts, Shotzi lets go at 4, and Alexa sputters as she reaches for her corner. Shotzi brings Alexa around but she won’t tag her partners. She snap suplexes Alexa into buckles! Shotzi stomps away, lets off at 4, but fans rally for Alexa. Shotzi drags Alexa up, bumps her off buckles, then goes corner to corner, to run into an elbow! Alexa BOOTS Shotzi, goes up and hops on, CODE-

NO, Shotzi holds off Code Red, but Alexa powers it through. Shotzi slips through to get a BOSTON CRAB! Alexa endures, fans rally up, and Alexa reaches for her corner. Shotzi keeps on the hold, but Alexa turns over to kick away at Shotzi! Shotzi is sent flying, hot tag to Asuka! Asuka fires off on Shotzi, whips her but Shotzi reverses. Asuka HIP ATTACKS Lacey, dodges Shotzi and runs to run Shotzi over! Asuka is fired up and so is Phoenix as she runs in at Shotzi. Shotzi BOOTS Asuka then ENZIGURIS, only for Asuka to get the ANKLE LOCK!! Shotzi fights, Asuka reels her in, GERMAN SUPLEX! Asuka runs to BASEMENT HIP! Cover, TWO!!

Fans fire up while Asuka demands Shotzi get up! Asuka drags Shotzi away, reels her in and waistlocks. Shotzi elbows Asuka away, but Asuka runs in. Shotzi dodges, Liv tags in! Asuka ROUNDHOUSES Shotzi, Liv hits the CODE BREAKER! Cover, Raquel breaks it! Alexa and Asuka DOUBLE SHOTGUN Raquel! Lacey gives Alexa a WOMAN’S RIGHT! Asuka BACKHANDS Lacey! Shotzi kicks and tosses Asuka! Shotzi says SHE is going to win MITB, but then turns around into ObLIVion!! Cover, Raw wins!!

Winners: Asuka, Liv Morgan & Alexa Bliss, by pinfall

Phoenix is loving it as Liv snatches the win for her team! But will this be a sign of Liv finally winning the big one?

But then Becky slithers in to MANHANDLE SLAM Asuka!! Big Time Becks won’t let anyone get ahead of her! Will we see the MITB contract go Big Time?

 

Sonya Deville meets with Adam Pearce.

She wants to talk with him about last week. He says that’s fine. Sonya says what Pearce did was wrong. She just wanted an opportunity and he put her in a handicap match! And she knows he got flack for it, because she filed a formal complaint. Yes, he knows that. Sonya still says he was in the wrong, but she knows this is going to be wrong, too. She SLAPS Pearce!! Is Sonya pushing Pearce to abuse his power the way she used to? Or will Pearce turn the other cheek for the greater good?

 

The Usos are here!

Jimmy & Jey, the Undisputed Tag Team Champions, are here ahead of Money in the Bank because on Raw, the Street Profits won the right to name a stipulation. But before that, it’s an… Ask Them Anything Q&A session? How deep are we going to go into the minds and lives of Jimmy, Jey, Ford and Dawkins? We’ll find out, after the break.

SmackDown returns as the Profits make their entrance. Kayla is already in the ring, as she will be the moderator for this “ATA.” Kayla starts by noting these four men will battle for THE Undisputed Tag Team Championships, but they are allowing the fans to ask them truly anything. To start with the Usos, “How fearful are you of losing your titles tomorrow night? And are you even more fearful of how your cousin, Roman Reigns, will react if you do?” Wait, let’s get this right. Out of all the questions the fans could’ve asked they went and asked if they’re afraid? Do they look afraid? This right here is confidence, Uce! The Bloodline runs all the damn shows!

Ford laughs and says y’all know damn well, Roman Reigns runs the show! The Usos just run to the grocery store. Jey will run his foot down Dawkins’ throat! Kayla has everyone calm down, this is about the questions. Profits take their turn. “It has been nearly a year and a half since the Street Profits have held WWE gold, and in that time, you lost one of the greatest opportunities of their career at WrestleMania. Have the Profits lost that killer instinct?” And there’s a part two! “What is this about them not getting along?” Aww… Wait, where are they getting that from? Dirt sheets? Probably. Tez ain’t just a teammate, he’s a brother.

And killer instinct? They’ve had a killer instinct ever since they got drafted back to Raw. Hell, they have it whenever they get in the ring with the Usos! But hey, make no mistake, partners. These two know all about the legacy and everything that was laid forth for teams like the Profits themselves. All the way back to High Chief Peter Maivia to the Wild Samoans to the Usos doing the dirty dirty! That’s respect. But as much as the family has prepared the Usos for everything in life, they did not prepare y’all for this hungry, starving Street Profits! Come Saturday~, the Profits are getting those titles under the bright lights! The Usos’ legacy comes to an end, and the Profits’ legacy BEGINS!

Jey tells Tez to be careful what comes out of his mouth about legacy. Jimmy & Jey know what everyone says about the Profits. “Street Profits got the potential to beat the best tag team in the WWE.” But y’know what? Usos actually like the Profits. “They walk like us. Talk like us. Move like us. Groove like us. But here’s the thing, though! They’re NOT us! And on Saturday, it’s lit now! The Usos are up, and WE WANT THE SMOKE!” Dawkins and Ford like the sound of that, too! Because the Profits gonna beat the Usos’ asses tomorrow! And at MITB, the Profits will be the NEW Undisputed Tag Team Champions! Y’all the twos, #WeTheOnes!

The belts are raised as all four men stare down. But have the Profits seen the future? Or will the Bloodline still run everything?

 

Max Dupri meets with Adam Pearce.

Dupri, getting in real close again, says he is so excited for this. The whole WWE Universe is excited! Because finally, we will see what we’ve been waiting for. We will see the magnificence of Maximum Male Models. The showcase is next. And Dupri lets out a long, “Yes…!” Will Max’s clients live up to the hype?

 

“Please welcome the founder of Maximum Male Models, Max Du-PRI!”

Max is already in the ring with the spotlight and he thanks the fans. “This is a momentous occasion. Maximum Male Models is the agency that is based on its passion and love of fashion that will be displayed by the most virile, athletic men in all of fashion. This moment is upon us, and so without further ado, allow me to introduce our first. You know him as Mace, but until he found his love of fashion, you can now call him… Maçè. And yes, the former monster of Retribution is now strutting his way out on the red carpet catwalk, showing off his angles.

Max says MMM is not about a line, skin and bones, or physique, but synergy, muscularity. Maçè is 6’6”, with sloping shoulders and slim waist with breathtaking 42 inch inseam. Just look at the ratio and the perfect proportions. Ladies and gentlemen, Maçè. Fans boo as Maçè heads to the back. Max says his next model is Mansoor, but no more. He has found his love for fashion, and he is now… Mansôör! Mansoor even has a fashionable fanny pack as he struts out. Mansôör is the epitome of what MMM is after. His overall aura, his heartthrob looks, and his statuesque physique. Mansôör is suave! He exemplifies the most important ingredient: charisma!

Fans boo again as Mansôör takes his leave. Male fashionistas will surely be clamoring to join MMM, but they shouldn’t bother, unless they have the same qualities as Mansôör and Maçè. The clients of MMM pose together now, and Max says they embody the creed, “To titillate the juices of your guilty pleasures!” Was this really worth the wait? Will Maçè and Mansôör at least still wrestle like Mace and Mansoor?

 

Backstage interview with Ronda Rousey.

Megan brings up what Natty said about seeing fear in Ronda’s eyes. Oh, how creative. It has been fun for Ronda to teach Natty how to promote a fight, and how to count. Ronda’s baby is nine months old, not ten, even though she is advanced for her age. But as a former friend, Natty should’ve remembered Ronda’s baby was born back in September. But Natty can still count on tapping out to the Armbar at MITB. Ronda kept it short and sweet, will she make it quick and painful when she goes after Natty in Vegas?

 

Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match Fatal 4 Way Qualifier: The Miz VS Happy Corbin VS Mad Cap Moss VS Ezekiel!

Each man wants in on the MITB Ladder Match, and each man will have to fight for that seventh and final spot! Will it be a matter of luck or skill when it comes to that last ticket to Vegas?

SmackDown returns as Zeke makes his entrance, followed by Corbin. The bell rings and Miz rushes Moss only to miss, and Corbin goes after Zeke! Corbin puts Zeke in a corner, Moss fires off on Miz and Corbin fires off on Zeke. Moss bumps Miz off buckles, Zeke turns things around on Corbin. Moss whips Miz to ropes while Corbin hits Zeke back. Miz reverses the whip, but Moss leaps! Miz ducks and the FLYING LARIAT hits Corbin! Miz rolls Moss up, TWO! Moss gets around Miz, Zeke goes up, FLYING SUNSET FLIP makes Moss GERMAN SUPLEX Miz away! Zeke covers Moss, ONE! Moss and Zeke stare down and fans fire up.

Moss and Zeke tie up, Zeke headlocks but Moss powers out. Zeke ducks and then kicks the back drop away to scoop and SLAM! Zeke runs, things speed up, Moss hurdles then CLOBBERS Zeke! Zeke gets up but Moss is after him. Zeke flops out of the ring and Corbin gets in to knee and forearm Moss to a corner. Corbin fires off body shots, then runs corner to corner, into Moss’ BOOT! Moss goes up and hits a FLYING SHOULDER! Fans fire up but Miz CLOBBERS Moss! Miz stomps Moss, drags him up to bump off buckles, and throws knees. Corbin helps Miz mug Moss, then Corbin goes corner to corner to SPLASH!

Miz says he gets a turn now. Miz soaks up the heat, runs corner to corner, but Corbin CLOBBERS Miz! Corbin runs back at Moss but Moss dodges. Corbin slides out, but Zeke ROCKS Corbin! Zeke fires off forearms and then clotheslines Corbin over the barriers! Fans fire up, but Miz throws Moss out. Zeke helps Moss up, Miz runs in but misses! He gets pinballed between Moss and Zeke then they SMACK him off the desk! Corbin RAMS Moss into steel steps, elbows Zeke away, then choke grips Miz to drag him out of the ring. Miz breaks free, fires body shots, but Corbin ROCKS Miz to hit an APRON BACK SUPLEX!

Corbin choke grips Zeke to stare McAfee down before the CHOKE SLAM to the desk! Even McAfee is wincing while SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again as Moss counter punches Miz! Miz wobbles, Moss ROCKS him again and again and again! Moss whips, Miz reverses but Moss ducks ‘n’ dodges to CLOBBER Miz! Fans fire up, Corbin gets in but gets a FLAPJACK! Moss catches Miz for a back suplex into a CLUBBING SLAM! Cover, Corbin breaks it! Corbin rains down fists on his former friend, then he drags Miz up to toss out. Miz holds onto ropes, slides back in and tries to sunset flip Corbin. Moss gets Miz’s legs, and he CATAPULTS Miz to LOW BLOW Corbin! Corbin’s not so happy there! Moss turns him for the PUNCHLINE! Cover, Zeke breaks it!

Zeke drags Moss up, throws hands then whips, but Moss reverses. Zeke ends up in a corner, he elbows Moss away and hops up. Zeke leaps, CROSSBODY but Moss rolls through! What power! Then the FALL AWAY SLAM! Miz hits a FLYING LARIAT! Cover, TWO! All four men are down and Phoenix rallies up! Miz stands while Moss and Zeke sit up. Miz smirks as he fires off IT KICKS back and forth! Miz then powers up, to BUZZSAW Zeke! And then BUZZ- No, Moss blocks! But he swings into the A-LIST COMBINATION! Cover, but Corbin breaks it! Miz kicks Corbin into a corner! Miz runs corner to corner, into a DEEP SIX! Cover, TWO!

Corbin is furious, but he refocuses and drags Zeke up. Corbin throws haymakers, Zeke throws them back! Fans rally as Zeke gets the edge but Corbin knees low. Corbin whips, Zeke goes up and MULE KICKS Corbin away! Zeke CLOBBERS Corbin, POSTS Moss, and then SPLASHES Miz! SPLASH for Moss! SPLASH for Miz again! Corbin choke grips, but Zeke JUMP KNEES him down! Cover, TWO! Miz is a little late, his ax handles club Corbin! Zeke dodges Moss to SPINEBUSTER! Fans fire up but Miz runs in. Zeke sends Miz to a corner, then Electric Chair Lifts! Miz slips off, full nelson, SKULL CRUSHING FINALE!! Cover, Corbin drags Miz away!

Corbin RAMS Miz into barriers, hurries back in the ring, and he has Zeke all to himself. Corbin stares at McAfee but McAfee tells the bum to focus. END OF DAYS for Zeke!! But Moss POSTS Corbin! Cover on Zeke, Moss wins!!

Winner: Mad Cap Moss, by pinfall (advances to MITB)

A bit of luck, skill and a lesson learned from Corbin, Mad Cap is in the Bank! Will Moss be able to have the last laugh on everyone when he wins that prized contract?


My Thoughts:

Go-Home Syndrome, my old friend. You’ve come to screw up once again. Because just… Ugh… All things considered, the “gold ol’ fashioned” Battle Royal was a lot of fun, but it meant nothing. It was just so Corbin could have a win while considering his feud with McAfee, and then have all that momentum taken away by him losing tonight’s Fatal 4 Way. That Fatal 4 Way was a lot of fun but it should’ve happened by default when those four guys came out to stake their claim. The others could’ve been in a Six Man of Riddle, McIntyre & Sheamus VS Rollins, Sami & Omos, and we could’ve seen an impact on go-home math. It still feels like Rollins is winning this anyway.

Moss winning the main event was a great surprise, because for one, better than Corbin since he has McAfee to focus on. It was better than Miz winning because he’s got Logan Paul to focus on, and we don’t necessarily need the tease of him becoming a three-time Mr. MITB. And while it would’ve been great for Zeke, Zeke “and his brothers” can wait for Kevin Owens to return from whatever undisclosed injury or issue he has so that they can settle their feud on the way to SummerSlam. Hell, that feud’s finish feels like it deserves to be at SummerSlam so this all works out in the end. I would love for Zeke’s biggest win ever, and Kevin’s biggest meltdown ever, to be on a show as big as SummerSlam.

Natty and Ronda had decent promos to keep their momentum going, but this is totally Ronda’s match to win. Sonya Deville’s interaction with Pearce and her slapping him was more impactful on their story, though. I do feel like Sonya should egg Pearce on until he snaps, and then there is a question of who is in charge of RawDown, with Sonya facing a female proxy like Raquel or Lacey. The Six Woman Tag was a lot of fun, and I like the unique take on dysfunction Team SmackDown had with Shotzi tripping Raquel like that.

But in the end, Raw wins to give all the Faces momentum, and then Becky goes after Asuka to at least cancel out that math. Becky technically stands tall, does that mean she’s out of the running? Fans would definitely love if Liv won, she got a great reaction tonight. But maybe Becky defies the math to becoming Ms. MITB, because I am still betting on the power couple of her and Seth. The New Day VS Viking Raiders being a No Contest was alright. I don’t think it added anything to the feud, as opposed to what a great tag match would’ve given. We know New Day can give us great matches, we know Viking Raiders can give us great matches, so let them give us a great match on the go-home!!

I don’t know why the final face-off of Usos and Profits turned into a group AMA, other than Vince and his team are idiots. Did they not four days ago set up the idea that the Profits get to name a stipulation for the tag title match? Did they forget about that idea in just four days? Or did they decide that they didn’t actually want to do that because Vince is becoming more fickle and impulsive as the walls are closing in? And even the Profits questioned someone suddenly questioning their bond as a team. What half-assed, rushed attempt at foreshadowing a break-up is that? We’re just lucky the Usos and Profits are great on the mic or this would’ve been a train wreck.

Speaking of, the train wreck of tonight was the Maximum Male Models segment. Granted, I don’t think the reintroduction to “Mansôör and Maçè” was going to go any different than this, but the extra weeks of waiting is what made it garbage. They were the ones rumored to be joining “Max Dupri” all along because of house show appearances, so why delay? Just give us their debut last week, and then they can have their first match here tonight against some Phoenix local wrestlers. Why wait until after a PPV to get things going for what is clearly a cringe comedy gimmick created by the king of cringe entertainment?

My Score: 7.9/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 32 Results & Report! (8/14/22)

Go Ace, or Go To Sleep?

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NJPW G1 Climax 32

When facing the Fang Revived, will The Ace survive?

After losing the IWGP US Championship, Kenta has wanted payback on Hiroshi Tanahashi! Will he get it through NJPW’s biggest G1 Climax ever?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 8 Man Tag: Hirooki Goto, Kosei Fujita, Ryohei Oiwa & Yuto Nakashima VS The House of Torture; The House of Torture wins.
  • Bad Dude Tito & JONAH VS Will Ospreay & Aaron Henare; Ospreay & Henare win.
  • 8 Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Chaos VS Suzuki-Gun; Chaos wins.
  • Tama Tonga & Jado VS Jay White & Gedo; Tama & Jado win.
  • G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS David Finlay; Hashi wins.
  • G1 Climax, B Block: Taichi VS Great-O-Khan; Khan wins.
  • G1 Climax, A Block: Tom Lawlor VS Jeff Cobb; Lawlor wins.
  • G1 Climax, C Block: Hiroshi Tanahashi VS KENTA; Kenta wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current standings!

A Block

  • Kazuchika Okada: 4-1, 8 points
  • Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
  • JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
  • Jeff Cobb: 3-2, 6 points
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tom Lawlor: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Toru Yano: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 5-0, 10 points
  • Tama Tonga: 4-1, 8 points
  • SANADA: 3-2, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Taichi: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Zack Sabre Jr: 4-1, 8 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 3-2, 6 points
  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
  • EVIL: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • KENTA: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Aaron Henare: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • David Finlay: 3-2, 6 points
  • Shingo Takagi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Will Ospreay: 3-2, 6 points
  • Yujiro Takahashi: 3-3, 6 points
  • El Phantasmo: 2-3, 4 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 2-3, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED?]

 

G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS David Finlay!

The D Block is insane right now! Are all seven men still viable for the semifinals? Will the Headhunter plunge things into chaos with a win over The Rebel? Or will Finlay make things clear and establish himself as THE semifinalist?

The bell rings and fans rally as the two stare down. Finlay encourages the fans to get louder and they oblige, then Finlay and Hashi tie up. They’re in a deadlock until Finlay finds a point of leverage. Finlay puts Hashi on the ropes, wants after the bad arm, but the ref counts. Finlay lets off at 4 and fans applaud as the two reset. Hashi kicks low, headlocks, but Finlay rolls Hashi to a cover, TWO! Hashi grinds the headlock, Finlay fights up and powers out, but Hashi runs Finlay over! Fans applaud and Hashi runs again, but Finlay drops to hurdle, but Hashi waistlocks. Finlay elbows free, runs, but Hashi CLOBBERS him with the elbow!

Hashi shakes out that bad arm while fans rally up. Hashi stands Finlay up to CLUB him on the back, and has Finlay in the corner. Finlay kicks back but Hashi blocks to CLUB the leg and CHOP Finlay! Finlay is stinging already, but he CHOPS back. Hashi CHOPS again and Finlay drops to his knees! Hashi shakes out the bad arm, drags Finlay up and reels him in. Fans rally again as Finlay fights the suplex. Hashi wrenches but Finlay ROCKS Hashi first! Then he hits an ARMBREAKER DDT! Hashi clutches that bad arm while fans fire up. Finlay storms over to get the arm and drops a knee on it! Then Finlay clamps on with a double wristlock! Hashi scrambles to the ROPEBREAK!

Fans applaud as Finlay lets off, then Finlay stomps the arm. Finlay throws Hashi out then PLANCHAS! Direct hit and Hashi is down! Fans fire up and Finlay paces. Hashi clutches the bad arm but Finlay puts him in the ring. Finlay SLAMS the arm on the mat and Hashi clutches it. Finlay brings Hashi up to EuroUpper then forearm and stomp in the corner. The ref counts, Finlay stomps harder and harder, and fans clap along until Finlay lets off at 4. Finlay eggs Hashi on and fans rally up. Hashi sits up, Finlay brings him around to snapmare and trap the arm in a chinlock! Hashi endures, fights to move around, but Finlay twists Hashi from the ropes!

Hashi keeps kicking and reaching out, to the ROPEBREAK! Finlay lets off, but with a stomp! Fans rally while Hashi still shields his bad arm. Finlay looms over Hashi, brings him up and cranks on the bad arm. Hashi resists the takedown and throws body shots. Finlay knees low, whips Hashi to ropes, but Hashi dropkicks the legs out! Finlay clutches the knee while getting away to a corner. Fans rally up and Hashi shakes the bad arm. Hashi runs in at the corner to CHOP! Hashi whips Finlay out to CHOP, mule kick and then turn, but Finlay fights the neckbreaker. Finlay swings but Hashi dodges the lariat to come back with the HEADHUNTER!

Fans fire up as Finlay goes to another corner. Hashi shakes the arm, goes back in and clotheslines with the good arm! Then the NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Hashi keeps his cool while fans rally up. Hashi drags Finlay up, reels him in and hooks the leg, but Finlay fights the fisherman suplex. Hashi throws a forearm but Finlay gives it back, and fans rally as they pick up speed! The forearms go back and forth, Finlay gets the edge, but Hashi ROCKS and CHOPS! Finlay ROCKS, UPPERCUTS, but Hashi backslides! TWO! Hashi swings, but into the IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Finlay holds on, and he hits another IRISH CURSE! And then a THIRD IRISH CURSE! Cover, TWO!

Fans fire up as Hashi survives that hattrick but Finlay tells Hashi to just give up already! Fans rally, “GET BACK UP! GET BACK UP!” for Hashi but Finlay slashes his throat to say this is over! Finlay drags Hashi up and reels him in, but Hashi fights the suplex to SPIN BACK KICK! Finlay tumbles to the apron and fans rally again. Hashi shakes out the bad arm, storms over to the ropes, but Finlay gets him for an ARM HOTSHOT! Finlay steps in, into the SUPERKICK! Fisherman to KUMA- STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE! Cover, TWO!! Not quite Prima Nocta but Finlay says he’s gonna bring Hashi around for the drop!

Finlay drags Hashi up, cravats and goes up, but no Acid Drop! Finlay blocks Hashi’s superkick and rolls him up, TWO! Hashi is up but he runs into a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! High stack, TWO! Finlay grows frustrated while the fans rally up again. Finlay vows to end it this time, and he gets Hashi up to suplex. TRASH- NO, Hashi slips out to a waistlock! Finlay throws elbows into the bad arm then runs, into a SUPERKICK! But Finlay LARIATS on the rebound! Cravat, ACID- NO, Hashi fights the drop and full nelsons, KARMA CRADLE! Cover, HASHI WINS!!

Winner: Yoshi-Hashi, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Finlay earns 0)

Chaos it is, then! The Headhunter beats The Rebel who beat the Kingpin, the Dragon and the Booster, but the Rebel lost to the Headbanga and the Tokyo Pimp, so what does any of this mean for the semifinals?!

 

G1 Climax, B Block: Taichi w/ Miho Abe VS Great-O-Khan!

The B Block is almost the opposite of the D Block. We know it comes down to Jay White or Tama Tonga, so the Holy Emperor is fighting the Dominator for pride. Will Taichi take out his frustrations from yesterday on Khan here? Or will this emperor be conquered by the United Empire?

Khan patiently waits as Taichi takes off his cloak and shows off the dancing pecs. Fans applaud, Taichi still wins something here. The bell rings and Khan waits on Taichi again. Taichi takes his time stepping out of the corner to circle with Khan, but Taichi avoids Khan’s advances on the legs. Fans applaud as Taichi drops back to a corner, and Khan sits with his leg guard. Khan dares Taichi to try something but Taichi smirks. Taichi isn’t going to fall for Khan’s technical trap, and he takes his sumo stance instead. Now Taichi dares Khan to try something. Sumo versus ground wrestling? Fans rally up, wanting to see what wins.

Khan sits back more but Taichi leans forward, each still egging the other on. It’s a mental game here, and it seems to be in a deadlock. Taichi hits his three point stance but Khan sits with one leg forward. The ref tells them to break this inactivity! Fans applaud as both men stand up and reset. Taichi and Khan circle slowly but Taichi is still doing sumo body slaps. They rush each other, and Khan is trying a sumo clinch just like Taichi! They move around, each trying to get a better grip. They circle, Khan goes for the arm but Taichi fights it off! Taichi tries now but Khan fights it off! Fans applaud as they return to the deadlock.

Khan and Taichi keep feeling out the situation, and Khan has a grip on the waistband! Khan starts pushing Taichi back, but Taichi digs in his heels. Taichi then goes after Khan’s waistband, but Khan digs his heels in! They go back to a deadlock, Khan gets a body clinch! BEARHUG! Taichi fights it with the sumo clinch! Taichi THROWS Khan! Fans are fired up while Taichi goes to a corner. Khan staggers up, fans rally, and Taichi runs in but Khan RAMS shoudlers with him! And again! And again! Khan runs, but into a BOOT! Khan BOOTS back, so Taichi SOBATS! Khan Mongolian CHOPS! AX BOMBER outta nowhere!

Fans fire up with Taichi! He hits the three point stance, YOKOZUNA- SAYANAGI from Khan! Khan drags Taichi into the HITSUJIGOROSHI LUNA! Taichi endures the Sheep Killer Rack as Khan thrashes him around! Fans rally up, “TA-I-CHI!” “SU-BA-RU!” Er, wait, “GREAT-O-KHAN!” IRON CLAW! Khan drags Taichi up, but Taichi breaks free! Khan thrusts but into an Alabama Lift! Taichi adjusts for BLACK- IRON CLAW! Khan fights free and he squeezes Taichi’s head! But Taichi CHOKES Khan! The ref reprimands, but Khan squeezes harder! Khan’s claw is winning out! Taichi fades, Khan drags him back up into the ELIMI-

NO, Taichi gets around, GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!! Khan gets up and shoots in but into a sprawl! But Khan still SNAP SUPLEXES! Fisherman bridge, KHAN WINS!!!

Winner: Great-O-Khan, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Taichi earns 0)

Adding insult to injury, Khan wins with the “Pancake Hold!” Will Taichi live it down that he lost to a move with such an adorable name?

 

G1 Climax, A Block: Tom Lawlor w/ Royce Isaacs VS Jeff Cobb!

The Filthy One is out of the running with his big losses to Okada, Jonah and Archer, but he could get a big win right here! Will Lawlor spoil things for the Imperial Unit? Or will his G1 end with a Tour of the Islands?

Fans rally for “TOM! LAW-LOR!” already and spins around and around! He does some drop steps, then OFF COME THE SHORTS! Luckily, he’s still got the denim tights underneath. Wait, Cobb starts spinning? Oh, to take off his wrist tape. This is getting serious already! The bell rings and Cobb circles with Lawlor. Fans rally up as the two feel out the grapple. Lawlor rushes in but Cobb blocks and gets around to a waistlock. Lawlor spins around to try again but Cobb still blocks the leg pick. Cobb gets around and wants a leg, but Lawlor moves up so Cobb gets the waistlock again. Lawlor turns around, they clinch and end up against the ropes.

Fans applaud and Red Shoes calls the ropebreak. Cobb lets off and Lawlor applauds the clean break. They go again. Lawlor tries the fireman’s carry but Cobb is too sturdy for that. Cobb tries for an armlock, Lawlor moves around  so Cobb tries for a gut wrench, but Lawlor manages a low back drop! Cobb gets the waistlock and gator rolls with Lawlor! Lawlor slips out, waistlocks back but Cobb uses that to push Lawlor over. Lawlor shifts up to get a SLEEPER, but Cobb scrambles to the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes calls the break and Lawlor lets off with a pat on the shoulder. Fans applaud as Lawlor gives Cobb space, and they reset again.

“TOM! LAW-LOR!” waits on Cobb, they tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, and Lawlor wrenches an arm. Cobb ROCKS Lawlor with the other, but Lawlor wrenches, ELBOW BREAKERS, then kicks, kicks and KICKS! Lawlor leaps, but into Cobb’s arms! FALL AWAY SLAM! Fans fire up as both men are down on the mat! Lawlor gets himself to the corner and Cobb gets the claps going for him! “JEFF! COB-BU!” runs corner to corner to back elbow, into a SLEEPER! Lawlor hops on to be a backpack, but Cobb RAMS him into the corner! Lawlor holds on, Cobb goes to the ropes, and then he throws Lawlor off! Lawlor tumbles to the floor!

Fans rally while Cobb sputters and coughs. Lawlor staggers up but Cobb is there to ROCK him! Lawlor throws a forearm back so Cobb throat chops! Cobb puts Lawlor in the ring, but Lawlor comes back for a TRIANGLE HOLD! Cobb stays up as Lawlor tries to drag him down, and Cobb deadlifts for an APRON BOMB! Lawlor flops down and writhes while Cobb sputters again. Fans rally up, Cobb brings Lawlor up to ROCK him in the back! Cobb ROCKS Lawlor again, then follows him around the corner. Lawlor gets in the ring and Cobb follows. Cobb brings Lawlor up to CLUB him down, and Cobb brings Lawlor up.

Cobb waistlocks and RAMS Lawlor into the corner. Cobb whips corner to corner and Lawlor hits hard! Cobb runs in to FLYING UPPERCUT! Fans fire up and Cobb covers, TWO! Cobb drags Lawlor around, stomps on him, and then stands on him to go surfing! Fans clap for “JEFF! COB-BU!” and he steps off. Lawlor grits his teeth and sits up to throw a heavy body shot! And another! Cobb HEADBUTTS Lawlor then reels him in for a short arm LARIAT! Cobb claps along but Lawlor grabs a leg! Cobb stomps Lawlor but then Lawlor grabs that leg in a grapevine! Cobb CLUBS away on Lawlor and Lawlor lets go, but then Lawlor KICKS the leg!

Lawlor KICKS the leg again and again, then kicks up at Cobb! Lawlor draws Cobb in and balances Cobb on his feet! And then drops Cobb into the ARMBAR! Fans rally as Lawlor clubs Cobb’s grip to the rhythm! The grip breaks and Lawlor has the ARMBAR!! But Cobb moves around! Cover, ONE, and Lawlor has a KNEEBAR HEADSCISSOR COMBO! Cobb fights up and out of the headscissors to then CLUB away on Lawlor! Cobb is free of the kneebar but then he CLUBS Lawlor, clamps on both hands, and DEADLIFTS to the OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Fans fire up for that wild display of strength! And then fans rally as both Cobb and Lawlor rise.

Cobb drags Lawlor up, pump handles and lifts, but Lawlor kicks off the ropes for an ARMBREAKER DDT! Lawlor then omoplatas one arm, but Cobb won’t let him have the other, so Lawlor gets an ANKLE LOCK! Cobb kicks free, rolls Lawlor away, but swings into an URENAGE! Fans fire up again as both men are down! Lawlor crawls to the cover, TWO! Lawlor pounds the mat and fans clap along again, “TOM! LAW-LOR!” Cobb goes to a corner, Lawlor aims from the opposite. Lawlor runs in to forearm smash! Lawlor keeps moving, another forearm smash! Lawlor goes the other way, one more FOREARM SMASH!

Lawlor reels Cobb in, TORNADO- NO, Cobb puts Lawlor on the ropes! But Lawlor BOOTS the haymaker away! Lawlor LEAPS, GUILLOTINE!! But Cobb powers up and out to SUPLEX! Fans fire up again as the two are down again! Fans rally, Lawlor flounders and Cobb crawls after. Cobb SLAPS Lawlor, Lawlor SLAPS Cobb. Both men sit up, Cobb throws a forearm but Lawlor gives it back. Fans rally as the forearms keep going, Cobb wobbles a moment but he ROCKS Lawlor. Lawlor fires off body shots! Cobb and Lawlor stand, the forearms keep going, Lawlor fires off kicks and a KNEE, then an ENZIGURI!

Lawlor fires up, runs, and BLINDSIDE WHEEL KICKS! Cover, TWO! Cobb is still in this and Lawlor is surprised. Lawlor gets the fans rallying again, then wrenches Cobb into an ELBOW BREAKER! And another, and then a hammerlock. Lawlor fires off “TOM! LAW-LOR!” forearms over and over! Lawlor roars, spins, but into a SUPERKICK! Lawlor staggers but roars, to SLAP Cobb down!! Lawlor also falls over and fans rally up again. Lawlor pushes himself up, he brings Cobb around, and Lawlor runs to PENALTY- NO, Cobb ducks, rolls Lawlor then DEADLIFT GERMANS! Cobb holds on to try again, but Lawlor pries at the arm!

Cobb GERMAN SUPLEXES with one arm! But Lawlor wrenches the other arm! Cobb tries but he can’t complete the suplex, Lawlor has the DOUBLE WRISTLOCK! Cobb CLUBS away, rolls and throws Lawlor off, but Lawlor KNEES the bad arm! Then V-TRIGGERS Cobb up close! Lawlor gets the arms, KAMI-GOYE!! Cover, TWO!!! Cobb survives and fans fire up again! They clap as “TOM! LAW-LOR!” stands back up. Lawlor grabs at Cobb’s arms to tie Cobb up in the straitjacket. But Cobb stands up, reels Lawlor in, but Lawlor slips off the scoop! COBRA CLUTCH SUPLEX! Fans fire up while both men are down again!

Lawlor pounds the mat and fans clap along again! Lawlor drags Cobb up, straitjackets the arms, for NKTOB!!! Cover, Lawlor wins!!!

Winner: Tom Lawlor, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Cobb earns 0)

The Nasty Knee On The Brain finishes off the Imperial Unit! Both men end 3-3, meaning The Filthy One just spoiled Cobb’s run, who will take the A Block now?

 

G1 Climax, C Block: Hiroshi Tanahashi VS KENTA!

The Ace and the Fang Revived meet in both their last G1 match this year, and Tanahashi is on the bubble. Will Kenta avenge himself from their IWGP US Championship feud? Or will the Once in a Century Talent refuse to #GoToSleep?

Tanahashi shows off the muscles and fans applaud. The bell rings and fans rally, “Let’s Go, Ace! Let’s Go, Ace!” as Tanahashi and Kenta circle. Kenta gets fans to shift to his, “KEN-TA! KEN-TA!” claps, but Tanahashi gets “Let’s Go, Ace!” going pretty easily. It’s a clapping duel but it seems the Ace’s side wins out. So Kenta bails out of the ring to go looking under it. Kenta brings out a chair, but it has no seat. Kenta is annoyed and he goes looking for another. Red Shoes says to get in the ring, but Kenta hops the rails and snatches a chair from the timekeeper’s area. Kenta puts that chair in the ring, but Red Shoes says no, this isn’t a No Disqualification match.

Kenta is annoyed but he throws the chair aside. Tanahashi picks the chair up, to use it as a guitar! Kenta sucker punches Tanahashi! Kenta CLUBS Tanahashi, CHOPS him, throws uppercuts, then brings Tanahashi around to bump off buckles. Kenta ROCKS Tanahashi with a body shot, then ROCKS him with a haymaker! And another! Kenta whips corner to corner, then runs in to forearm smash! Kenta snapmares Tanahashi, KICKS him in the back and covers, TWO! Fans rally while Kenta clamps on a chinlock. Tanahashi endures and fights up but Kenta shifts to a headlock. Tanahashi pulls hair, and then he gets the headlock!

Red Shoes reprimands but Kenta powers up. Tanahashi holds on tight and grinds Kenta. Kenta rolls to a cover, TWO! Tanahashi holds onto the headlock and fans rally up. Kenta fights up to his feet, powers Tanahashi into a corner, and Red Shoes calls the break. Tanahashi grinds the hold but lets off at 4, to throw body shots! Tanahashi fires up and whips Kenta corner to corner, but Kenta reverses! Kenta runs in, but into an elbow! Tanahashi goes up to CROSSBODY! Fans fire up and Tanahashi strums the air guitar. Kenta gets to the apron but Tanahashi drags him up. Kenta HOTSHOTS Tanahashi down, then drags him to the apron. But Tanahashi BOOTS Kenta into railing!

Tanahashi goes out after Kenta, drags him up, and puts him back in the ring. Fans rally up, but Tanahashi sees Kenta is already rolling to the adjacent side. Tanahashi hurries around the way to meet Kenta there! Tanahashi throws body shots and he puts Kenta in the ring again. Fans rally up, but Tanahashi again hurries to block Kenta from rolling out. Kenta rolls the other way and Tanahashi gets in, but Kenta BOOTS Tanahashi down! Tanahashi tumbles to the floor and Kenta goes out after him. Kenta whips Tanahashi hard into railing! Tanahashi falls over but Kenta drags him back up, and out into No Man’s Land! DDT to the floor!

Red Shoes reprimands but Kenta leaves Tanahashi behind. Fans rally up, “Let’s Go, Ace!” but Kenta refreshes the count to fetch Tanahashi. Kenta KICKS and KICKS and KICKS Tanahashi! Tanahashi falls over, Kenta drags him back to ringside and puts him in, only to drag him back out! The count is refreshed again, Kenta whips Tanahashi hard into more railing! Tanahashi falls over again and Kenta soaks up the applause. Kenta stomps Tanahashi around, then drags him up by his hair. The ring count starts again and Kenta POSTS Tanahashi! Kenta drags Tanahashi back up at 9 of 20 and puts him in at 11. Kenta pushes Tanahashi to a cover, TWO!

Fans rally up but Kenta drops an elbow, and then another elbow! And then he DOUBLE STOMPS! Tanahashi writhes but Kenta wraps him up in a body scissors! Tanahashi endures the squeeze, he pries at the hold, then drags himself forward to get the ROPEBREAK! Kenta holds on but Red Shoes counts. Kenta lets off at 4, drags Tanahashi up and turns him, NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up as Tanahashi snarls, but Kenta stomps him. Tanahashi fires off fast hands! Tanahashi runs but into a kitchen sink knee! And then Kenta drops knees onto Tanahashi’s ribs! Kenta wraps Tanahashi back up in body scissors and the fans rally up!

Tanahashi endures all over again as Kenta puts on the squeeze! Tanahashi pulls on a leg for a toehold! Kenta scrambles to the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes counts, Tanahashi pulls harder on the leg until 4! Kenta hobbles up and he KICKS Tanahashi! And BOOTS him! And KICKS! Tanahashi drops to a knee but he grits his teeth. Kenta kicks but Tanahashi block to CLULB the leg and fire off forearms! Kenta knees low, whops Tanahashi to a corner, but Tanahashi blocks his running boot! Tanahashi then shifts to have the leg for a DRAGON SCREW! Fans fire up and Tanahashi drags Kenta back up to fire off fast hands!

Tanahashi whips, Kenta reverses but Tanahashi FLYING FOREARMS! Fans fire up more as Tanahashi fires off more fast hands! And then scoop SLAMS Kenta into a drop zone! Tanahashi hops up and SUNSET SENTONS! Cover, TWO! Kenta is still in this but Tanahashi keeps his cool. Tanahashi waits on Kenta to rise, then he runs, but into a BOOT! Tanahashi rebounds to ROCK Kenta! Kenta rebounds to BOOT! Tanahashi rebounds, into Kenta’s POWERSLAM! Fans fire up while both men are down! Kenta sits up fast and he hurries to drag Tanahashi up. Kenta reels Tanahashi in but Tanahashi throws back elbows.

Tanahashi and Kenta go to opposite corners, and Tanahashi runs corner to corner, into a BOOT! Kenta goes up, he reels Tanahashi in, TORNADO STUNGUN! Tanahashi falls down and Kenta goes back up. Tanahashi stands, Kenta hits a FLYING LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up as Kenta rains down fists on Tanahashi! Red Shoes reprimands over closed fists and Kenta lets off, to then rain down more fists! And then he lets off, to rain down more fists! Red Shoes reprimands, Kenta’s throwing too many closed fists! Kenta stands up while fans rally, and Tanahashi snarls as he sits back up. Kenta gives him toying kicks but Tanahashi eggs him on!

Kenta kicks Tanahashi more but Tanahashi throws a forearm! Kenta throws it back, Tanahashi throws another! Fans fire up, Kenta ROCKS Tanahashi but Tanahashi ROCKS Kenta! They go again, Tanahashi eggs Kenta on, and Kenta fires another shot! Tanahashi fires another, Kenta fires another, repeat faster and faster! The fans fire up and then both men grab each other’s hair! Red Shoes reprimands, but they both shove him away! Kenta kicks low, but then he ducks and Tanahashi’s SHOTEI hits Red Shoes!! Down goes the referee! Kenta hits a DDT! Kenta then sees Red Shoes is down and realizes Tanahashi did that!

Kenta goes outside and he goes looking under the ring. Kenta brings out a CRUTCH! Kenta brings that crutch into the ring and he SMACKS Tanahashi across the chest with it! And then SMACKS him on the back! Fans fire up as Kenta SMACKS Tanahashi again! The crutch has bent, but Kenta just SMACKS Tanahashi again and again and again! Kenta throws the bent-up crutch away, drags Tanahashi up and throws Tanahashi out. Kenta then goes out after Tanahashi, and he drags Tanahashi around for a DDT to the ramp! The Ace is down and Kenta clears off the timekeeper’s table to confiscate it! Kenta wants to turn the tables on that No DQ match finish!

Kenta does his best to set this table up by the ramp, and he stomps Tanahashi for good measure. The table stands at the ready right by the ring, and Kenta drags Tanahashi over to it. Kenta SMACKS Tanahashi off the table, puts him on it, and rains down more fists! Kenta goes up the corner while fans rally up! But Tanahashi hurries up after Kenta! Tanahashi ROCKS Kenta, climbs up after him, and fans anticipate a new crash landing! Kenta resists the superplex and throws body shots! Kenta HEADBUTTS Tanahashi again and again and again! Tanahashi falls to the apron and Kenta hurries in to drag him through the ropes! BRAINKILLER!

Fans fire up as Kenta shouts to Red Shoes. Red Shoes is up and Kenta aims from a corner. Fans rally, “LET’S GO, ACE!” but he’s still down. Kenta waits, and he makes sure Red Shoes is focused on the match. Tanahashi slowly sits up in the corner, and Kenta runs in to FLYING BOOT! And then SOARING DROPKICK! Kenta fires up and fans fire up, too, as Kenta climbs up! COUP DE GRACE!! Cover, TWO!! Tanahashi survives, and his kick-out sends Kenta into Red Shoes! Kenta drags Tanahashi onto the ropes and then goes to the apron. The table is there, and Kenta picks it up to SMACK Tanahashi with it! That’s thinking outside the box!

Kenta gets in the ring, he tells Red Shoes to get up already, and then he slashes his throat. Kenta fireman’s carries Tanahashi, GO TO- NO, TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! Tanahashi turns things around and fans fire up again! Tanahashi roars, runs, but Kenta fireman’s carries! GO TO- SLINGBLADE!! Fans fire up more and Tanahashi roars! Tanahashi runs, SLINGBLADE again! Cover, TWO!! Kenta survives and Tanahashi goes to a corner! Tanahashi climbs up, Kenta stands, HIGH FLY ATTACK! And Tanahashi goes back up, to HIGH FLY FLOW onto knees!! Kenta saves himself, then hurries to a corner! Fans rally but Kenta runs in, BUSAIKU KNEE!! Cover, TWO!!

Fans are thunderous but Kenta is furious! Kenta fireman’s carries Tanahashi for the GO TO- SMALL PACKAGE! Tanahashi turns things around to a cover, TWO!!! Kenta escapes and fans are thunderous again! Kenta CROSS COUNTERS! And again! And again! And again, again, again, again!! SHOTEI!! SHOTEI CROSS COUNTER! ANOTHER!!! Tanahashi falls over but Kenta drags him back up! POINT-BLANK KNEE! And then the fireman’s carry, GO TO SLEEP!!! Cover, KENTA WINS!!

Winner: Kenta, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Tanahashi earns 0)

The Ace has fallen! The Once in a Century Talent is out of the running! The Worst Invader has done his job spoiling Tanahashi’s run! And he gets the mic to say, “It’s been a long time since we’ve been in Nagano. And I bet you all wanted to hear Tanahashi say he loves you. Well too bad~!” Fans applaud, because he is right. Kenta says they’re getting an advertisement for his book instead! Fans laugh but we all know Kenta means it. “Anyone have a copy?” A fan does, and Kenta tells the Young Lions to grab it from them. The fan, who is a child, does hand it over and the book is brought to the ring.

Kenta says his dream was to “win the main event and then plug my book.” Fans laugh and applaud that hilarious dream. “If you’ve got a copy, hold it up now.” No one does… “OI, NAGANO! Do you not have bookstores here? Okay, you don’t have bookstores here, but… No internet, either? Get it on Amazon and Rakuten! Those are websites, if you didn’t know. And I’m sure it’ll hit the Tokon Shop very soon. You’re all interested, aren’t you? Aren’t you?” Fans applaud, because yes, they’re interested. Kenta says he’ll remember everyone here clapping, so they better buy it.

So, his book is out, his G1 has ended, and he put his all into every match. “Not like that concerns you. But whatever. The G1 rolls on, so keep enjoying it. I see plenty of LIJ shirts, and others. Not a lot of my own…! Well, it’s been awhile, Nagano, but what I really wanted to say was… Next time we’re back, you’ll wanna all come out again.” Fans applaud because that is definitely true. Will Kenta have more than just a book to plug when NJPW does return to Nagano?

 

Here are the NEW standings!

A Block

  • Kazuchika Okada: 4-1, 8 points
  • Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
  • JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
  • Tom Lawlor: 3-3, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Jeff Cobb: 3-3, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Toru Yano: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 5-0, 10 points
  • Tama Tonga: 4-1, 8 points
  • SANADA: 3-2, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Taichi: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Zack Sabre Jr: 4-1, 8 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 3-2, 6 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
  • KENTA: 3-3, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-3, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • EVIL: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Aaron Henare: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • Shingo Takagi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Will Ospreay: 3-2, 6 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 3-3, 6 points
  • Yujiro Takahashi: 3-3, 6 points
  • David Finlay: 3-3, 6 points
  • El Phantasmo: 2-3, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED?]

My Thoughts:

Another great go for the G1, though I should’ve expected a few of those results. Hashi VS Finlay was great stuff, and Hashi wins to plunge D Block into madness! It will all come down to Tuesday, Takagi VS ELP and Ospreay VS Juice on Tuesday, 8/16. Now, I don’t know the likelihood of Ospreay advancing as he and Ospreay also have to the States to be part of AEW’s Trios Championships tournament. There is no way Ospreay can fight in a G1 semifinal and in Albany, New York on the same day. So chances are, Takagi wins the D Block and advances, possibly as the ONLY one with a 4-2 record in the block.

We got a great match out of Taichi and Khan, and Khan winning was quite the surprise. But they both finish 2-4, and who knows where either guy goes from here. Lawlor VS Cobb was great stuff, too, that is big for Lawlor. The only way Jonah gets in is if he wins against Fale while Archer and Okada have a draw. If Jonah loses, it all comes down to Archer VS Okada, the winner advancing. And of course, great stuff out of Tanahashi VS Kenta, both for the G1 and to build upon their IWGP US Championship No Disqualification match. Kenta winning was the logical move, Tanahashi winning here would deflate the drama of Naito VS ZSJ. Kenta had a hilarious promo to end the night, he really should move up in the rankings.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 32 Results & Report! (8/13/22)

Breathe with the Switchblade!

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NJPW G1 Climax 32

Will the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion keep the “Jay1” going?

The biggest G1 Climax in NJPW continues on and Jay White is spotless at 4-0! But will Taichi change all that this close to the ending?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 8 Man Tag: Hiroshi Tanahashi, David Finlay, Tama Tonga & Jado VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
  • Bad Dude Tito & JONAH VS Tom Lawlor & Royce Isaacs; Tito & Jonah win.
  • Six Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Suzuki-Gun; LIJ wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Chaos VS House of Torture; Chaos wins.
  • G1 Climax, C Block: Aaron Henare VS KENTA; Kenta wins.
  • G1 Climax, A Block: Toru Yano VS Jeff Cobb; Cobb wins.
  • G1 Climax, D Block: Shingo Takagi VS Yujiro Takahashi; Takagi wins.
  • G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS Will Ospreay; Ospreay wins.
  • G1 Climax, B Block: Taichi VS Jay White; White wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current standings!

A Block

  • Kazuchika Okada: 4-1, 8 points
  • Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
  • JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
  • Jeff Cobb: 2-2, 4 points
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tom Lawlor: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Toru Yano: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 4-0, 8 points
  • Tama Tonga: 4-1, 8 points
  • SANADA: 3-2, 6 points
  • Taichi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Zack Sabre Jr: 4-1, 8 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 3-2, 6 points
  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
  • EVIL: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • KENTA: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Aaron Henare: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • Yujiro Takahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • David Finlay: 3-2, 6 points
  • Shingo Takagi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Will Ospreay: 2-2, 4 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 2-2, 4 points
  • El Phantasmo: 2-3, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]

G1 Climax, C Block: Aaron Henare VS KENTA!

The Ultimate Weapon and the Fang Revived are both out of the running, but this is about pride! Will Henare conquer Kenta? Or will he #GoToSleep instead?

The bell rings and fans rally up as the two circle. Kenta gives testing kicks, as does Henare. They keep testing each other, but neither man gets a clean shot. Kenta tries a palm strike but Henare ducks it to give some kicks. Kenta tries kicks but avoids the roundhouse, and fans applaud this great kickboxing exchange. Henare moves to using hands and he gets some body shots in! Kenta bails out and fans applaud Henare bringing the fight. Kenta takes his time returning, and he circles with Henare again. Henare anticipates a kick but Kenta rakes the eyes! The ref reprimands, Kenta fires off haymakers and puts Henare in a corner!

The ref counts, Kenta knees low as he lets off, and runs in, but into an elbow! Henare goes up to FLYING CHUCK! Fans fire up and Kenta staggers up, but he avoids the heel kick! Kenta bails out again and fans applaud. Henare goes out after Kenta and CLUBS him down! And again! Henare HEADBUTTS Kenta, then KICKS him against the post! And again! Henare fires up but Kenta ducks, the kick hits POST! Kenta kicks that leg then POSTS Henare’s shoulder! Kenta hurries to wrench and ELBOW BREAKER that arm, then he kicks the bad leg! Then another ELBOW BREAKER, and another kick to the bad leg!

Henare falls over and the ref reprimands but Kenta KICKS Henare in the leg again. Kenta hammerlocks Henare and RAMS him into railing! Fans cheer the savagery while Kenta stomps the leg. Kenta puts the leg in the railing and stomps it more! The ref reprimands and backs Kenta off, so Kenta drags Henare up and into the ring. Cover, TWO! Kenta is annoyed but fans rally up and Kenta gets Henare’s bad leg. Kenta has the standing toehold but Henare endures. Kenta drops an elbow on the leg and has a seated toehold. Henare tries to fight the hold but he reaches out for the ROPEBREAK instead.

The ref counts, Kenta lets off slowly, and he stomps the bad leg. Kenta drags Henare up, but Henare throws body shots! Kenta kicks Henare low, then stomps him on the back. Henare wrenches the arm to ELBOW BREAKER again! Kenta is just picking apart that whole left side! Kenta joins the fans in clapping, and gets them to stop clapping all at once. Kenta stomps Henare down, drags him up and fires off haymakers! Henare just snarls through them! Kenta KICKS but Henare snarls. Kenta CLUBS Henare but fans rally up as Henare stands. Henare roars but Kenta kicks the bad leg! Kenta runs, but into a KICK!

Henare falls over because the left leg is a weak base right now, but he growls and gets back up. Henare gets that bad leg moving, KICKS Kenta’s own left leg, and KICKS away in the corner! The ref counts, Henare lets off at 4, and he hobbles back to snapmare Kenta for another KICK! Kenta writhes and fans applaud. Henare runs in at the corner to SHINING WIZARD! Henare fireman’s carries for a RUNNING SAMOAN DROP! Fans rally up and Henare snarls. Henare drags Kenta up, HEADBUTTS him down, then goes up the corner. SECOND ROPE SENTON! Cover, TWO! Henare is annoyed but fans rally as Kenta is still in it.

Henare drags Kenta up, stalks behind him and reels him into the full nelson! Kenta fights it, throws elbows, and he ducks the lariat to spin Henare to a DDT! Fans fire up and Kenta KICKS Henare in the back! And again! Kenta stomps Henare on the apron but the ref counts. Kenta lets off and drags Henare up to drag him through the ropes! BRAINKILLER! Fans fire up and Henare sits up in the corner. Kenta runs corner to corner to BOOT Henare, then he goes corner to corner to SOARING DROPKICK! Kenta goes up top as Henare is in the drop zone, COUP DE GRACE! Cover, TWO! Henare survives and fans fire up again.

Kenta slashes his throat, vowing to finish this! Fans rally and Kenta drags Henare up. Henare blocks the lift, CLUBS Kenta again and again, but Kenta BOOTS him! And LARIATS! But Henare stays up! Henare swings, misses, but he catches Kenta for the BERSERKER BOMB! Fans fire up as both men are down, and Henare pounds the mat. Henare calls his shot, clamps onto Kenta, ULTIMA!! Kenta grabs the ref with a body scissors!! The ref reprimands and they all end up by the ropes! Henare throws Kenta down, which also throws the ref down! Henare argues with the ref but fans rally up. Kenta rolls Henare, TWO!!

Kenta hurries back up, and Henare runs in, into a POWERSLAM! Fans fire up and Kenta roars! Kenta drags Henare up, fireman’s carries, but Henare fights out! Henare ROCKS Kenta, Kenta ROCKS Henare! The forearms go back and forth and fans rally up as they pick up speed! Henare gets the edge, but Kenta CROSS COUNTERS! Kenta fires off haymaker after haymaker, but Henare hits a body shot! And the HEEL KICK! Fans fire up with Henare and he drags Kenta back up. Henare fisherman’s to the torture rack, but Kenta claws Henare’s face! Kenta drags Henare down into the armlock, but Henare rolls out of Game Over!

But Kenta shifts to get a TRIANGLE HOLD! Henare endures and fans rally, and Henare deadlifts Kenta for a POWERBOMB! Fans fire up as Henare goes to a corner. Henare shakes out his bad arm, takes aim at Kenta and runs in, RAMP- KNEE! Kenta drags Henare back down, GAME OVER CROSSFACE!! Henare endures as Kenta pulls back, fans rally up as Henare starts to fade! Henare taps, Kenta wins!

Winner: Kenta, by submission (gains 2 points; Henare earns 0)

The Ultimate Weapon’s first G1 run ends in defeat and with a 1-5 record, but it was all a valiant effort. Will Henare come back next year even stronger? As for Kenta, he has momentum as he prepares for another match tomorrow! Can Kenta tear down The Ace and spoil his chances?

 

G1 Climax, A Block: Toru Yano VS Jeff Cobb!

The Producer is also out of the running, but the Imperial Unit still has a chance. Will Cobb take Yano on a Tour of the Islands to keep on sailing in the G1?

As Cobb makes his entrance, he’s cosplaying Toru Yano! “Funny Jeff” has a Hawaiian shirt over his merch shirt, he has a DVD case, and he has a chair! He even gives the ring announcer a very long introduction to read off, just like Yano! And to copy Yano’s disinfectant bottle, Cobb has an air freshener spray! As for the real Yano… Wait, where is he? His music is playing but Yano isn’t walking out from the ramp or anywhere else. Cobb waits, but is he going to get a win by forfeit? The bell rings, Cobb tells the ref to start already, and the count begins. So either Yano shows up before the 20 count or he’s done!

Cobb is impatient, we’re only at 7 of 20. Wait, Yano runs in from the far side! He slides in, rolls Cobb up, TWO!! Yano panics and apologizes for his prank! Cobb runs in at the corner, Yano dodges and Cobb hits buckles! Yano shoves the ref, then sprays the disinfectant at Cobb’s face!! Roll up, TWO!! Cobb escapes but Yano brings him up to throw him out! Yano hurries after Cobb and whips, but Cobb reverses! Yano hits railing hard! Cobb wipes the spray out of his eyes, but he walks into an atomic drop! Yano tucks Cobb’s arms into his singlet, then wraps him up in the apron skirt! Yano shoves the #Cobburrito down and gets in the ring!

The ring count is rising, Cobb struggles against the skirt wrap, and we’re at 9 of 20! Cobb asks for help but we’re at 13! A Young Lion finally hurries over and helps Cobb get to his feet. Cobb wiggles into the ring at 18! Yano stands on Cobb to surf! Fans applaud as Yano hangs loose! Then Yano hurries to untie a buckle pad from a neutral corner. But Cobb comes back to kick! And kick! Cobb asks the ref for help but Yano kicks Cobb low. Yano runs, but Cobb manages a DROPKICK! Fans fire up as both men are down! Cobb finally gets his arms out of his singlet and fans rally up. Cobb drags Yano up to ROCK him with a right!

Cobb whips, Yano reverses, Cobb stops from hitting buckles, and then dodges! Yano hits the buckles, then Cobb hits an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Fans fire up and Cobb drags Yano up. Yano waistlocks but Cobb switches. Yano grabs at the ref but Cobb blocks the mule kick low blow! Cobb spins Yano, kicks and then pulls Yano’s shirt up over his face! Yano is blindfolded and he staggers around, into a SUPERKICK! Then a TOUR OF THE ISLANDS!! Cover, Cobb wins!

Winner: Jeff Cobb, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Yano earns 0)

“Funny Jeff” still got serious in the end, and he is still in the running! Will Cobb be able to survive to the semifinals? Or is his fate in someone else’s hands?

 

G1 Climax, D Block: Shingo Takagi VS Yujiro Takahashi w/ Pieter!

The Rampaging Dragon isn’t done in the G1 just yet, but to think the Tokyo Pimp would be leading the block! Will Takagi be able to drag Yujiro down? Or will Yujiro’s G1 run have a happy ending?

The moment the introductions are over, Yujiro rushes Takagi! Takagi blocks the boot and throws Yujiro down! The bell rings and Takagi drags Yujiro up to put in the corner. Takagi fires off forearms over and over, and fans fire up as Takagi ROCKS Yujiro again. Takagi whips and KNEES Yujiro at the ropes, then runs to run Yujiro over! Fans fire up and Takagi runs in at the corner. Yujiro BOOTS, but Takagi powers through to clothesline! Takagi then reels Yujiro in to suplex high and hard! Fans fire up but Yujiro bails out of the ring. Takagi pursues, brings Yujiro up and RAMS him into the apron! Takagi then whips Yujiro into railing!

Yujiro flounders away and Pieter checks on him. Takagi storms his way over but Pieter stands in his way. Can a bunny tame a dragon? Takagi is intrigued but Yujiro rushes in! Takagi blocks the sucker punch to ROCK Yujiro back! Pieter scampers away and Takagi scolds her before he CLUBS Yujiro. Takagi POSTS Yujiro, then tells the ref to hold on. Takagi smacks Yujiro off the apron, then again, and again! Fans rally up and Takagi puts Yujiro in the ring. Yujiro crawls away to the far side and bails out again. Yujiro goes looking under the ring and he gets a chair! Takagi takes his time walking over, and Yujiro JAMS him with the chair!

The ref reprimands and takes the chair, and Yujiro knees Takagi low. Yujiro whips but Takagi reverses. Yujiro stops from hitting railing, and he drop toeholds Takagi into the railing! Then REVERSE DDT to the floor! The ref reprimands Yujiro and he apologizes before getting in the ring. Takagi stirs and the ring count starts. Takagi stands up at 6 of 20, he gets frustrated, and he gets in at 10. Yujiro stomps Takagi over and over in the corner then digs his knee in. The ref reprimands, Yujiro brings Takagi up and snapmares for the basement BOOT! Cover, ONE!! Yujiro is surprised and annoyed, but he rains down fists!

The ref reprimands about the closed fists and Yujiro lets off. Yujiro drags Takagi up and bumps Takagi off buckles. Yujiro knees low, throws back elbows, but Takagi clinches! Yujiro digs his forearm into Takagi’s eyes! Yujiro lets off, runs in and BOOTS Takagi again! Fans applaud that bit of agility and Yujiro snapmares Takagi to drop a leg, drop an elbow, and drop a headbutt! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up for “TA-KA-GI!” but Yujiro brings him up. Takagi eggs Yujiro on and Yujiro throws a forearm! And another forearm! And another! Takagi JABS, JABS and JABS, to then DOUBLE CHOP! Fans fire up and Takagi drags Yujiro back up.

Fans fire up as Takagi says it’s go time! Another suplex, but Yujiro wrenches out and BITES the hand! The ref reprimands, Yujiro lets off to fisherman, but Takagi BITES back! Fans cheer the turnabout being fair play but the ref still reprimands. Takagi lets off and wretches from the bad taste. Yujiro ROCKS Takagi then runs, but into the ELBOW! JAB! YUKON LARIAT! Fans fire up again and Takagi pounds the mat. Fans rally and Takagi aims from a corner. Yujiro stands, Takagi runs in to run him over! And then scoops to SLAM, for a SENTON! But that’s not all! Takagi drags Yujiro up, hooks him up, but Yujiro fights the Gory Especial!

Yujiro throws back elbows, but Takagi spins through to suplex! Yujiro fights that so Takagi hits a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! But Takagi says there’s still more! “OI! OI! OI!” Fans clap along and Takagi drags Yujiro back up. But wait, here comes Sho! Takagi sees Sho and his little wrench, but Yujiro sneaks up! Takagi elbows Yujiro away, whips him to ropes, but Yujiro holds ropes. Takagi rushes in, Yujiro dodges and distracts the ref as Sho grabs at Takagi! Yujiro runs in to BOOT Takagi! Yujiro reels Takagi in, INCOLLE SLAM! Fans fire up as both men are down, and Yujiro crawls over to drag Takagi up.

Fans rally for “TA-KA-GI!” as Yujiro fireman’s carries, MIAMI SHINE! Cover, TWO! Takagi is still in this and Yujiro is frustrated. Yujiro drags Takagi back up and reels him in, but Takagi says no to Big Juice! Takagi throws body shots, wrenches out, blocks a haymaker and he HEADBUTTS away on Yujiro! Both men wobble but Takagi runs, only for Sho to be there with a chair! The ref reprimands, Takagi goes back to Yujiro for boxing elbows! Fans rally as Takagi runs again, but into a BOOT! Yujiro runs, but into a clothesline! Takagi runs but Yujiro distracts the ref again, Sho SMACKS Takagi with the chair!

Yujiro reels Takagi in, PIMP JUICE! Cover, TWO!! Takagi survives the screw job and fans fire up! Yujiro pleads with the ref but two is two! Yujiro drags Takagi up but Takagi blocks Big Juice again! Takagi powers up to power out and he ELBOWS! JABS! YUKON feint to the DDT! And SLIDING FOREARM! Fans fire up again as Yujiro flounders around. Takagi gets up and headbutts the buckles to fire back up! LARIAT! But Takagi gets Yujiro up to a MADE IN JAPAN!! Cover, TWO!?!? Yujiro survives and even Sho is shocked! Takagi gets back up as fans rally again. Takagi stands Yujiro up to pump handle and torture rack.

Yujiro wriggles and gets free to the apron to rake eyes! Takagi runs back in but Yujiro dumps him out! Yujiro staggers over, gets Takagi up and whips him into railing! The ref has Sho stay back as Yujiro goes over to bring Takagi around. Yujiro whips Takagi into more railing, and then he wobbles and hobbles to get Takagi back. Takagi fires off forearms in return! Takagi whips, Yujiro reverses and Takagi hits railing even harder! Takagi falls in a heap, Yujiro and Sho both shout for the ring count. The ref starts, Yujiro sits Takagi up, but no Pimp Juice Basement BOOT instead! And then FISHERMAN BUSTER to the floor!

Yujiro gets in the ring at 12 of 20 but Takagi is right after him! Takagi fireman’s carries for a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER to the floor! The count is 16 of 20!! Takagi staggers up and in at 18! Yujiro is down but Sho throws him in at 19.5! Fans fire up as this keeps going, and Takagi runs in at Yujiro with a clothesline! Takagi pump handles, torture racks, but Yujiro BITES again! The ref reprimands, Yujiro throws Takagi’s arm into him! The ref staggers but stays up, Yujiro shove Takagi into him! The ref goes down, Yujiro hits a REVERSE DDT! Fans rally but Sho sends a chair in! Yujiro gets the chair, takes aim and runs in, and he JAMS Takagi low!

Yujiro then reels back to SMACK Takagi on the back! But Takagi LARIATS through the chair! And CHUCKS the chair at Sho!! PUMPING BOMBER!! But that’s not all! Yujiro deserves this one! LAST OF THE DRAGONS!! Cover, Takagi wins!!

Winner: Shingo Takagi, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Yujiro earns 0)

Well, well, well! D Block is looking like a real rock-paper-scissors scenario! Yujiro beat David Finlay, who beat Takagi (and quite a few others) but Takagi just beat Yujiro! What will this mean for the semifinals with another D Block match up next?

 

G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS Will Ospreay!

The Headhunter and the Commonwealth Kingpin are both still alive in the block, but the window is closing! Will the NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Champion shock the IWGP US Heavyweight Champion? Or will Ospreay make sure Hashi does NOT #GetBackUp?

The bell rings and fans rally up. These two circle and tie up, and are in a deadlock. Ospreay finds a point of leverage and he powers Hashi to ropes. Ospreay talks some trash as he lets off, then he pats Hashi on the side. Before he knees low and hard! Ospreay headlocks and grinds Hashi but Hashi throws body shots. Hashi powers up and out to reel Ospreay into a headlock! Fans applaud the exchange, then Ospreay powers up and out. Hashi runs Ospreay over, but Ospreay kips right back up! Fans applaud again the agility, then Ospreay gets Hashi with a “made you look” and SLAP! Hashi CHOPS back!

Ospreay staggers away, stinging from that back hand. Hashi runs in to CHOP again! And whip to CHOP, then mule kick! Hashi turns Ospreay to hit a NECKBREAKER! Cover, ONE, but Hashi keeps cool. Fans rally up and Hashi brings Ospreay up. Hashi CLUBS Ospreay on the back and Ospreay goes to a corner. Hashi stomps and CHOPS Ospreay and Ospreay shouts in pain! Hashi stands Ospreay up and reels him in to suplex. Ospreay slips out, shoves and fireman’s carries to then HOTSHOT! Ospreay runs to BOOT Hashi down! Fans fire up for the agility but Ospreay needs a second from the stinging in his chest.

Ospreay drags Hashi up and bumps him off buckles. Ospreay CHOPS back and Hashi sputters now. Fans fire up and Ospreay wrenches Hashi to whip corner to corner hard! Hashi bounces off buckles and hits the mat hard! Ospreay grabs the bad arm and sets it on the apron, to drop a knee right on it! Hashi shouts in pain and clutches that bad arm. Ospreay drags Hashi off the apron, wrenches the bad arm and then YANKS Hashi into the post! Hashi staggers away and leans against railing from the pain, but Ospreay leaves him behind. Fans rally up for Hashi and the ring count begins. The count is 8 of 20 as Hashi gets in the ring, and Ospreay mockingly applauds.

Ospreay drags Hashi up, but Hashi throws body shots! Ospreay gets the arm for an ELBOW BREAKER! No mercy from the Kingpin as Hashi writhes again. Ospreay tells Hashi this is his last chance to give up now. Hashi refuses so Ospreay omoplatas the good arm. Ospreay CHOPS Hashi in the side then grabs the bad arm! RECLINER ARMLOCK! Cover, but Hashi slips off before Red Shoes can count. Ospreay mockingly applauds as Hashi goes to the apron. Ospreay drags Hashi back in and wrenches again for the snapmare and top wristlock. Hashi endures again and Ospreay digs his knuckles in. Red Shoes reprimands but Ospreay pulls at the arm!

Hashi endures more, even as Ospreay is bending him across his knee! Hashi fights up, throws body shots to get free, but Ospreay CLUBS him down! Ospreay whips Hashi to a corner, runs in, but Hashi dodges! Ospreay hits buckles, but he BOOTS back! Hsahi swings but into a spin from Ospreay! Ospreay suplexes, Hashi fights it off, and Hashi suplexes to get the NECKBREAKER! Fans fire up while both men are down! Hashi and Ospreay both stand, but Hashi CLOBBERS Ospreay with elbows! Hashi whips, Ospreay reverses but Hashi comes back to dropkick the leg out! Then HEADHUNTER! Fans fire up with Hashi as he gets back up!

Ospreay gets to the ropes, Hashi runs in to CHOP! Hashi brings Ospreay up to suplex and hang Ospreay out to dry. Hashi runs side to side to DROPKICK Ospreay down! Then Hashi sits Ospreay up for a basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up and Hashi gets to his feet. Hashi brings Ospreay up and reels him in, but Ospreay wrenches out. Hashi ROCKS Ospreay, kicks him and whips him, but Ospreay handsprings to a NEURALIZER! Direct hit with that kick! Fans fire up as Hashi bails out, Ospreay hurries over to PLANCHA! Direct hit and both men are down! Fans fire up again, and Ospreay slowly sits up first.

Ospreay drags Hashi up and puts him in the ring. Ospreay aims, springboards, PIP PIP CHEERIO! Cover, TWO! Hashi is still in this and fans rally up! Ospreay keeps his focus, he drags Hashi back up, and he reels Hashi in to turn him. Hashi resists, so Ospreay gives him a Kowata Kick and a big CHOP! Hashi staggers to a corner and Ospreay runs in, but Hashi BOOTS back! Hashi runs in but into an elbow! Ospreay runs but into a CHOP! Hashi runs but into the Tiger Wall Kick and ENZIGURI! Fans fire up again as both men are down! Ospreay drags Hashi up, scoops him and SLAMS him, then goes to the corner.

Fans rally as Ospreay climbs, but Hashi rises! Hashi ROCKS Ospreay, CHOPS him, then climbs up after him. Hashi brings Ospreay up, but Ospreay fights the superplex! Fans rally as Ospreay and Hashi trade body shots! Ospreay fires off HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT, then SUPER GOURD BUSTERS Hashi down! Hashi hobbles up, into the FLYING FOREARM to the back! Ospreay gets Hashi up to a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO!! Ospreay is surprised Hashi is still in this, but Ospreay snarls and waits on Hashi to rise. Ospreay then calls his shot, springboards, OS- NO! Hashi full nelsons to a SNAP DRAGON!

Fans rally up again as both men are down. Hashi sits up first but Ospreay follows. Hashi fires up and runs, but Ospreay swats the lariat! So Hashi CHOPS! And aims, to SUPERKICK! Fans fire up and Hashi drags Ospreay into the full nelson. Spin and pump handle, but Ospreay fights Karma with elbows. Ospreay ROCKS Hashi with a forearm, but Hashi comes back with a forearm of his own! Hashi eggs Ospreay on so Ospreay ROCKS him again! Hashi ROCKS Ospreay, but Ospreay ROCKS Hashi! Fans rally as the forearms go faster and faster, and then Hashi CHOPS! Hashi CHOPS again, then again!

Ospreay CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Hashi reels Ospreay in but Ospreay throws a forearm! Hashi HEABUTTS! Ospreay ROUNDHOUSES! Both men fall over and fans are thunderous! Ospreay roars and drags Hashi back up, but Hashi ducks the roundhouse! Pump handle to KARMA!! Hashi has to crawl to the cover, TWO!! Ospreay survives and fans are thunderous again! Hashi is too sore to be upset so he just gets up. Hashi roars, runs, and LARIATS! Ospreay flips around, Hashi gets him up, pump handle and KAR- STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE!! Fans fire up and Ospreay grits his teeth! Springboard, OSCUTTER!! Cover, TWO!?!

Hashi survives and fans can’t believe it! Ospreay can’t believe it, either, but he drags Hashi around. Ospreay prepares his arm, takes aim, but Hashi ducks the Hidden Blade! SUPERKICK! But Ospreay dodges the lariat, to OS- SUPERKICK!! Hashi gets Ospreay with some anti-air and he hurries to add on! DESTROYER!! Cover, TWO!!! Ospreay survives and fans are thunderous again! Hashi pushes himself back up, sits Ospreay up and clamps on with a SLEEPER! Ospreay endures, fights up, but Hashi spins him into the pump handle. Ospreay slips out to HOOK KICK! Hashi runs in to LARIAT! But Ospreay roars!

Ospreay swats a lariat, ROLLING ELBOW to the HOOK KICK, tot he LIGER- FACEBUSTER from Hashi!! Hashi gets Ospreay up to the KUMAGOROSHI!! Cover, TWO!?!? Ospreay survives and the fans are electric! Hashi stands and fires up! Hashi runs, but into a SPANISH FLY! Cover, TWO!! Ospreay drags Hashi right up to turn him, DREAM SMASHER ELBOW! And then from the corner, HIDDEN BLADE!! Cover, Ospreay wins!

Winner: Will Ospreay, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Hashi earns 0)

The Kingpin wins, and the D Block picture is still a mess! Can Hashi recover to have his last G1 match tomorrow? As for Ospreay, will he settle things with Juice Robinson on Tuesday and make the path forward a bit clearer?

 

G1 Climax, B Block: Taichi w/ Miho Abe VS Jay White w/ Gedo!

One way or another, The Holy Emperor finishes his run this weekend, but if he wins here, it might not even matter! Will the Sliest Wrestler in the World be able to snatch a golden ticket off the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion? Or will he breath with the Switchblade as the Jay1 goes 5-0?

White and Taichi both have quite a bit to put aside, from jackets to belts. Taichi shows off the dancing pecs and even White applauds. White gets his moving, too, so he isn’t out of the NJPW Dancing with the Pecs running. White gets impatient with Red Shoes and he Too Sweets with Gedo. The bell rings and fans rally up as White and Taichi stare down. White and Taichi circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Taichi finds a point of leverage and he puts White in a corner. Red Shoes calls the ropebreak, Taichi pats White on the shoulder then backs away. Fans applaud and White dusts himself off. Taichi and White reset and circle again.

Taichi offers White a sumo style showdown. Fans rally up for that and White says okay, but how does it work? They crouch, then Taichi does the sumo stomp. White asks Gedo if that’s how it’s done. White returns the stomp, and they square up at center. But then White pulls hair and RAMS Taichi into the corner! White stomps a mudhole then throws forearms. White mocks the sumo then whips corner to corner. Taichi reverses and runs in but White bails out! White says nope, Taichi isn’t getting the better of him. White wants Red Shoes to keep Taichi back so he can get in. Taichi does back up and White returns.

Gedo grabs Taichi’s foot! White CLUBS away on Taichi, mocks the sumo then whips, but Taichi reverses. White holds ropes and bails out, but Taichi rushes out after him! White slides back in, Taichi pursues, but White facelocks. Taichi RAMS White into a corner! Red Shoes calls the ropebreak, Taichi slowly lets off, but White avoids the cheap shot to CHOP! Taichi just snarls and CHOKES White! Taichi has White in the corner, Gedo protests but then Taichi tells Gedo to shut up before he CHOKES Gedo! White rakes Taichi’s eyes to make him let Gedo go! White fireman’s carries and HOTSHOTS Taichi to the floor!

White applauds mockingly and he smirks as he mocks more of Taichi’s sumo style. White drags Taichi up to CHOKE him on the railing right in front of commentary! Red Shoes reprimands, White lets off and Taichi falls over. White borrows some camera cable to CHOKE Taichi! Red Shoes reprimands but White talks trash on Taichi. White lets off, tells Miho to shut it but she’s all the way on the other side of the ring. White drags Taichi up and into the ring, then puts him on the apron. White CLUBS Taichi in the chest again and again! Gedo likes it as White SMOTHERS Taichi with the apron skirt! Red Shoes reprimands, White tells Miho to shut up, but he does let off.

White is polite enough to put the skirt back where it belongs and he wipes the sweat away with his towel. White drags Taichi to a cover but Red Shoes refuses to count! Gedo and White ask why, but it’s obviously because of the shenanigans with the skirt! Gedo distracts Red Shoes with his dramatic whining so that White can CHOKE Taichi with the towel! Miho protests, Red Shoes sees something’s up, and White lets off on the towel. White tells Red Shoes to relax, it’s just his towel! The towel is taken away, and White gets the fans to clap again. “TA-I-CHI!” “JAY WHI-TO!” White mocks Taichi but Taichi kicks back from the ropes!

Taichi whips White, White reverses and kicks low to throw Taichi by his hair! White CHOKES Taichi, much like Taichi would. Red Shoes reprimands, he won’t count the cover. But White says Taichi does it all the time! Speaking of, Taichi CHOKES White from below! Gedo protests, White stomps Taichi into letting go, then stomps him more! White sputters and coughs at the ropes but fans rally up. White sits Taichi up into a chinlock but Taichi endures. White grinds Taichi down but Taichi kicks around. Taichi pulls White’s hair, stands up, and he throws elbows. Taichi KICKS White’s leg, KICKS it again, then blocks White’s kick to KICK again!

White hobbles away and fans fire up! Taichi storms over but White knees low. White Too Sweet CHOPS! And Too Sweet CHOPS! White whips Taichi corner to corner, then runs in, but Taichi dodges the chop! Taichi CHOKES White again! Gedo protests, Red Shoes reprimands, and White tries to choke Taichi back! Taichi breaks that grip and shoves White into the corner to GAMANGIRI! Fans fire up as both men fall down! White stirs and gets out of the corner while Taichi sits up. Taichi stands and storms up on White to KICK him back down! Fans fire up while White sits back up. Taichi KICKS him down again!

Gedo grows worried for White as he manages to sit up again. Taichi KICKS White down again! Taichi taunts White, looms over him, then drags him up to snapmare and KICK in the back! White writhes and fans fire up as Taichi stalks White to ropes. Taichi drags White up, whips but White reverses. Taichi reverses back to DANGEROUS HOOK KICK! Fans fire up and Taichi looms over White again. Taichi drags White up to reel him in but White fights off the saido! White CLUBS away, fires off forearms, but Taichi KICKS the leg! White hobbles and drops to a knee. Taichi runs in at the corner, White dodges and fireman’s carries, DEATH VALLEY BOMB!

Fans fire up and Gedo cheers, but both men are down. White sits up and clutches his chest while fans rally. Taichi rolls away to a corner but White runs in, UPPERCUT! White brings Taichi out to suplex for BLADEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Taichi is still in this and White is frustrated. White drags Taichi up, reels him in, but Taichi fights the urenage with elbows Taichi wrenches, White ducks the roundhouse and hits a COMPLETE SHOT! White then shifts to a waistlock and he deadlift GERMAN SUPLEXES! Fans fire up but Gedo is the most excited about that one. Fans rally up, White drags Taichi up and reels him in, URENAGE! Stacked cover, TWO!

White is frustrated and Gedo is furious but White sits Taichi up. White wraps on the SLEEPER, then he drags Taichi up! Taichi backs White down but White sends him into the buckles! White runs back in but into a BOOT! Taichi rushes but White ducks to CHOP! Taichi SOBATS, White UPPERCUTS, Taichi ENZIGURIS! Both men are down again and fans fire up! Taichi and White stir, Taichi sits up and fires himself up. Gedo shouts to White to get up but OFF COME THE PANTS! Taichi powers up in the corner and takes aim, but GEDO GRABS MIHO! Gedo’s got Miho by her hair! White waistlocks to SAIDO!!

Gedo says White should finish this, and he’ll keep Miho! White taunts Taichi with his “damsel in distress!” White makes Taichi look, and then he stands on Taichi’s head. White mockingly asks if Miho is okay, and Miho is almost in tears! Fans rally for Taichi but White CHOPS him! And CHOPS him! And CHOPS! Taichi stands up, White CHOPS, and Taichi just glares at Gedo! White wants Taichi to pay attention to him, so Taichi DECKS him!! Taichi goes out after Gedo and Gedo lets go of Miho. Gedo apologizes but Taichi doesn’t care. And in storms Yoshinobu Kanemaru! Suzuki-Gun doesn’t take kindly to mistreating a lady!

Gedo turns around and he sees he’s surrounded! Gedo scurries into the ring but Taichi rushes in after him. Gedo still wants mercy but White full nelsons! Taichi arm-drags White away, and DOUBLE AX BOMBERS! Fans are thunderous and Taichi gets White up to the LAST RIDE!! High stack, TWO!!? White survives but fans are thunderous again! Kanemaru coaches Taichi up while keeping Gedo down. Fans rally up and Taichi snarls. Taichi then roars and fans fire up with him! Taichi aims from the corner, for JYUTEN- NO, White drops down! White uses his opossum technique but Taichi says this isn’t much of a world champion then.

Taichi kicks White around, taunts him, and drags him up. White CHOPS back, but Taichi withstands it! Taichi eggs White on, so White LARIATS! Taichi rebounds, but swings into the SNAP SLEEPER SUPLEX! But Taichi’s right back up! White gets around but Taichi turns things around with a DANGEROUS SAIDO!! Taichi crawls to the cover, TWO! White is still in this but fans rally behind Taichi! Taichi and White rise again and Taichi slashes his throat to say this is done. Taichi Alabama Lifts but White sprawls to block! White brings Taichi up but Taichi breaks free and BUZZSAWS! And then Taichi hooks up the arms!

Wait, Taichi backs off on the Gedo Clutch because actual Gedo is getting in the ring! Taichi KICKS the ropes to low blow Gedo! Gedo falls down but White gets Taichi, BLADE- NO, Taichi throws White down and GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!?!?! White escapes by mere nanoseconds! But Taichi runs in to Alabama Lift and- White slips off! White blocks the kick, reels Taichi in but Taichi elbows free! Taichi clinches and SUMO THROWS! And then Taichi sets up, YOKOZUNA- BLADE- NO! YOKOZUNA ELBOW!!! Cover, TWO!?!?!? White is still surviving by the skin of his teeth! Miho is mad and she wants White to pay!

Fans are thunderous, Taichi slowly stands back up and he roars! Taichi drags White up, reels him into the Alabama Lift, but White sunset flips! BLADE- NO!! DANGEROUS SAIDO!! With bridge, TWO!?!!! Taichi is getting mad now and he drags White up! Alabama, but White wrenches! BLADERUNNER!!!! But White can’t make the cover!! Fans are electric as both men slowly stir! White flounders his way over, he drags Taichi back up, but he can’t get that dead weight up! White has to use the ropes, but Taichi throws haymakers from below! And CHOKES White! White still powers through to BLADERUNNER!!! Cover, White wins!!

Winner: Jay White, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Taichi earns 0)

White is FIVE AND OH! And in one fell swoop, The Switchblade eliminates both the Holy Emperor and the Cold Skull! Their records are not enough to take the block, will they just have to have better luck next year?

But as Taichi is taken away by Young Lions, Kanemaru and Miho trailing after, White gets the mic to say, “Hey! Hey! Come back! Come back!” He even adds in Japanese, “Don’t discriminate.” White then demands ice from the Young Lions, and they bring him a few icepacks. White puts them all on his chest given those sharp kicks from Taichi. He also claims he still has heat stroke like he did earlier this week. MORE ICE! “Shimoda! Shimoda-san, more ice!” Even more ice is brought while some fans are leaving. White again says, “Did you guys not hear? I had heat stroke, I need ice to cool down.”

White chuckles a bit and says, “Heat stroke? HEAT STROKE? I live in Florida! Do you think a little bit of sun, and heat, is going to bother me? How gullible and stupid can you all be?! But I appreciate the days off in Hiroshima, the days off those pointless matches worth zero points in the Jay1 Climax! It was nice to have that rest so I could be well-rested for matches that do matter, like today, and like against one Tama Tonga.” But that’s not what White wants to be saying. He wants to say, “Thank you all so much for all of your heartfelt messages and well-wishes and prayers, saying, ‘Jay White, please get better. Jay White, take care of yourself.'”

That really brought a tear to White’s eye and he wouldn’t be here tonight to fight his heart out for all the fans, if not for all those lovely, lovely messages. White pretends to cry over this but he can’t help but laugh. “Still my ear! Undefeated! Switchblade Era!” Jay drops the mic, but will he keep this momentum going to a spotless 6-0? Or will he drop the ball in the final round against The Good Bad Guy?

 

Here are the NEW standings!

A Block

  • Kazuchika Okada: 4-1, 8 points
  • Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
  • JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
  • Jeff Cobb: 3-2, 6 points
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tom Lawlor: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Toru Yano: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 5-0, 10 points
  • Tama Tonga: 4-1, 8 points
  • SANADA: 3-2, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Taichi: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Zack Sabre Jr: 4-1, 8 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 3-2, 6 points
  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
  • EVIL: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • KENTA: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Aaron Henare: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • David Finlay: 3-2, 6 points
  • Shingo Takagi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Will Ospreay: 3-2, 6 points
  • Yujiro Takahashi: 3-3, 6 points
  • El Phantasmo: 2-3, 4 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 2-3, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]

My Thoughts:

A great event for the G1, and what a great variety in these blocks. Henare VS Kenta was a great match, even with both men out of the running. But Kenta winning makes the most sense, as he’s the veteran and he needs the momentum to take on Hiroshi Tanahashi tomorrow. There is a chance Kenta wins that, as both revenge for their IWGP US Championship No Disqualifications match, as well as clear the way for Naito or Zack Sabre Jr. That win would be a big feather in Kenta’s cap, who knows if it happens. Yano VS Cobb was a ton of fun, but of course Cobb wins to keep going. Cobb VS Lawlor is tomorrow, both their last one this G1, Lawlor could get a HUGE spoiler right at the end here.

The D Block is hilariously chaotic here, and NJPW is brilliant for finding a way to make this work. Yujiro VS Takagi was a very good match, but I figured Takagi would win. Hashi VS Ospreay was awesome stuff, Hashi is continuing to look awesome, but I figured Ospreay would win. Yujiro is right smack in the middle, but he has one of the more important wins since he beat David Finlay to start this G1 before Finlay went on that wild run. Finlay has a win over Takagi, Ospreay and Juice, but ELP also just beat Finlay, and there’s still Finlay VS Hashi tomorrow. No one really knows what will happen if all seven men end up 3-3, so I would think one person has to go 4-2 and then that guy, whoever it is, is D Block’s guy.

Taichi VS White was awesome stuff, and it really felt worth of someone facing the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion. It felt like Taichi could’ve taken that win but in the end, White stays spotless. It will still come down to White VS Tama on Tuesday, “win and you’re in,” and either way, that result is going to be wild. Tama can get the golden ticket and go strong into the semifinals, or White runs the block (granted a smaller block) to look almost unstoppable.

My Score: 8.8/10


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