Coverage
Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (7/22/22)
Boston’s about to get Rowdy!
The Baddest Woman on the Planet is in Bean Town!
Before battling for the SmackDown Women’s Championship, Liv Morgan and Ronda Rousey will meet face-to-face! Will the champion be intimidated by her challenger this close to SummerSlam?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Shinsuke Nakamura VS Ludwig Kaiser w/ GUNTHER; Ludwig wins.
- Jinder Mahal & Shanky VS The Viking Raiders; The Viking Raiders win.
- Sonya Deville VS Raquel Rodriguez; Raquel wins.
- Aliyah VS Lacey Evans; No Contest.
- Six Man Tag: Mad Cap Moss & The Street Profits VS (Austin) Theory & The Usos; Moss & The Profits win, by disqualification.
PLAY BY PLAY
Stephanie McMahon is here!
She stands in the ring and Boston is fired up! “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Friday Night SmackDown! Earlier tonight, my father, Vince McMahon, retired from WWE.” Some fans boo but Stephanie says the WWE is the company he created, and he wanted to make sure that in his retirement, he thanked all of us, the WWE Universe. Fans chant, “Thank You, Vince!” Wait, you’re jumping the gun! The fans here, the fans at home, all the crew and the superstars, the tech team and even Pat McAfee and Michael Cole. “This is the WWE Universe, and we are eternally grateful for all of you!”
But since Vince thanked us, this is the time we take to thank him. Now let’s do it. “Thank You, Vince! Thank You, Vince!” And first out, it’s the Street Profits! And they’re in the crowd! Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are getting ready to face The Usos at SummerSlam, but clearly they want to get the fans in on the party already! The Profits get to the ring and they are fired up, too! “Bean Town! Boston! It is us, your Street Profits, here live direct in effect on Friday Night SmackDown, here to let you know a little bit of information.” “Next Saturday, Nashville, SummerSlam! Just like the homie KD said in 2008 when he won the NBA Championships, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!”
Fans fire up and Dawkins says you’re looking at the NEW Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions! Because the Profits are up, and #WeWantTheSmoke! But wait, here comes (Austin) Theory! Theory says, “Hey, hey, hey, no one cares.” Fans boo at Theory but he says they all care about what HE’S doing at SummerSlam! Fans love him! And Theory will take back his United States Championship from Bobby Lashley, then he’ll cash-in and become the NEW Undisputed WWE Universal Champion! And for Theory, it doesn’t matter if it’s The Beast Brock Lesnar, or The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns! But wait, here come the USOS!
Jimmy asks Jey if they hear him! Some people don’t know how to keep the Tribal Chief’s name out their mouths! The Usos chase Theory into the ring and says if he keeps talking, he won’t make it to SummerSlam! But the Profits laugh and Theory asks what they think is funny. The only thing funny to Theory is that Ford and his wifey are walking out of SummerSlam with NO titles. HAHA! Well, listen here, Uce! You ain’t leaving Boston without getting these hands! Theory moves, Ford DECKS Jey! Dawkins goes after Jimmy, Theory stays out of the way! Theory picks his spot and goes after Dawkins! He and Jimmy stomp Dawkins, but here comes MAD CAP MOSS!
Moss slides in and POUNCES Theory! The Usos go after Moss, then Theory joins in! The Profits go after the Usos, it’s 3v3! Dawkins DECKS Jimmy, Ford SUPERKICKS Jey, and Moss feeds Theory to a KNEE KICK COMBO! Moss gives Dawkins some help, Ford holds the ropes, DAWKINS FLIES! The Profits AND Moss are up, will they get the smoke and burn down Theory and the Usos?
Shinsuke Nakamura VS Ludwig Kaiser w/ GUNTHER!
The King of Strong Style already beat the Impeccable German, and Der Ring General already chopped the crap out of Ludwig as punishment. Is Ludwig going to get a second helping of all that? Or will he win his redemption here in Boston?
SmackDown returns and Imperium makes their entrance. The bell rings and Ludwig goes right after Nakamura with haymakers and stomps! Ludwig umps Nakamura off buckles then digs his boots in! The ref counts, Ludwig lets off, but he throws hands and stomps again! Fans boo, Ludwig lets off as the ref counts again, and he snapmares Nakamura to BASEMENT UPPERCUT! Cover, ONE! Ludwig clamps onto Nakamura, throws down hands, then stomps him down! Gunther says good but keep on him. Ludwig chinlocks to stretch Nakamura back, he elbows Nakamura down, then brings him up and whip.
Nakamura reverses and GAMANGIRIS! Gunther is upset but fans fire up and Nakamura is after Ludwig in the corner with kick after KICK! Nakamura lets off at 4 to snapmare and drop a knee! Cover, ONE! Ludwig snarls but Nakamura bumps him off buckles. Nakamura gives Ludwig GOOD VIBRATIONS! The ref counts, Nakamura lets off and Gunther shouts at Ludwig to fight back. Ludwig blocks a boot and turns things around, “NEIN!” UPPERCUT to BUTTERFLY SUPLEX! Ludwig snarls and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Another cover, TWO! Ludwig drags Nakamura up to snap suplex! Cover, ONE!!
Gunther is frustrated and he tells Ludwig to put this away. Ludwig drags Nakamura up as fans rally, and Ludwig whips Nakamura to a corner. Nakamura dodges, ENZIGURIS, then puts Ludwig up top for the TOP SHELF KNEE! Ludwig tumbles to the floor and Gunther shouts, but Nakamura goes to the apron. Ludwig blocks the kick to trip Nakamura! Nakamura hits apron on the way down and Gunther says to hurry up! Ludwig RAMS Nakamura into steel steps! Der Ring General is satisfied now, but he wants more of this from Ludwig while SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns again and Ludwig has Nakamura down with another chinlock. Fans rally, Nakamura fights up and he throws elbows. Ludwig kick slow, reels Nakamura in and suplexes, but Nakamura knees free! Ludwig blocks one kick but not the ENZIGURI! Fans rally, Gunther is frustrated, and Nakamura gets up to block a punch and fire off a strike fest! AX KICK! SLIDING KICK! Ludwig goes to a corner, Nakamura runs in, but he blocks boots and puts Ludwig in the ropes! SLIDING GERMAN! Cover, TWO! Nakamura waistlocks and drags Ludwig up but Ludwig elbows free! Ludwig runs in, into a BOOT! Nakamura goes up, FLYING KNEE!
Ludwig rolls all the way out and Gunther asks what he’s even doing! Get up! Nakamura fetches Ludwig, but then Gunther stands in Nakamura’s way. Fans boo but Nakamura just says, “C’MON!” Gunther lets Nakamura back into the ring, and Ludwig cradles him! TWO, Ludwig ducks a kick but not the WHEEL KICK! Nakamura aims from a corner, but Gunther storms up to the apron! Fans obo as Gunther talks trash, Ludwig rushes in! Nakamura switches, O’Conner Roll, TWO! Into a cheap shot!! Ludwig gets Nakamura up, SIDEWINDER DDT!! Cover, Ludwig wins!
Winner: Ludwig Kaiser, by pinfall
Der Ring General refused to let his lieutenant lose again, and he tipped the scales in Imperium’s favor! But Gunther still tells Ludwig to put his arms aside?! Gunther’s still going to punish Ludwig for not getting the job done on his own!? Ludwig submits to Der Ring General’s will, and Gunther pats him on the shoulder. Gunther was just messing with him. CHOP!! Okay, well, Gunther was joking about it being a joke. Ludwig still didn’t get this done without Gunther, but will Gunther still have to face Nakamura himself?
Backstage interview with Liv Morgan and Ronda Rousey.
The SmackDown Women’s Champion and her challenger, the former champ, are here at the same time after seeing a quick highlight reel of how Liv cashed in her MITB contract to take this title. How will the rematch be different? Um, first, cute dress, Kayla, but Ronda wants to talk with Liv. Ronda says she respects Liv, because Liv seized the moment. She’s a great champion and breath of fresh air, even. But Ronda will win at SummerSlam, because she’s Ronda Rousey while Liv is just Liv. Ronda made her name there, and when Ronda wins, she expects Liv to shake her hand. Liv says she appreciates Ronda’s candor, she really does.
And Liv can’t stand here and tell Ronda she’s going to beat Ronda because she’s better. But Liv will stand here and look into Ronda’s soul and say she will win because she loves this more than Ronda. She wants this more than Ronda, and needs this more than Ronda. So when Liv beats Ronda again, Liv promises she will shake Ronda’s hand. Ronda says this is why everyone loves Liv. She has more passion than anyone here, except Ronda. Who will back up these words with action at SummerSlam?
Baron Corbin BOOTS Pat McAfee out of his chair!!
Or rather, boots him over in his chair, as both McAfee and chair go down together! Corbin then drags McAfee up, SMACKS him off the desk, then RAMS him into barriers! Michael Cole shouts at Corbin and Corbin backs off to say there’s more where that came from. But McAfee gets up and pursues “Bum Ass” Corbin! Corbin runs away, we go backstage, and McAfee dodges a chair shot! McAfee tackles Corbin, Corbin hits back, security and officials get in here to stop this! Adam Pearce has Corbin taken away while he keeps McAfee back, will this all explode in Nashville?
McAfee returns to ringside and fans are fired up!
McAfee gets a mic and he says, “Before I go back to commentary and sit next to GOAT Michael Cole, I have one thing to say to that BUM~ ASS~ COR~BIN~!” Fans echo that, and McAfee keeps it going. “At SummerSlam, you can’t come out from behind me! You wont’ be able to hide around the corner! You wont’ be able to utilize diaper rash as an excuse! Eight days from now, Nashville, Tennessee, you and me, one on one, man versus big, dumb, bald baby! And when this foot hits your ugly, Herby looking head, I’ll put your big ass down for good! See you in Nashville, BITCH!”
The New Day joins commentary.
Kofi Kingston pretends that unicorn is not Xavier Woods, but they also say they’re not worried about the Viking Raiders. But speaking of…
Jinder Mahal & Shanky VS The Viking Raiders!
The Modern Day Maharaja changed his theme to prevent the Skyscraping Shanky’s dance fever, but it doesn’t seem to really do anything. Will Erik & Ivar use their new attitudes to end the fun? Or will they be too distracted by The New Day to focus on their opponents?
The teams sort out, Jinder and Erik start and tie up. Erik turns Jinder around, CLUBS him, then shoves him to CLOBBER him! Erik tags Ivar, fans rally for Jinder but he gets mugged by hammer fists! Jinder goes to a corner, Ivar throws back elbow after back elbow! Ivar scoops Jinder but Jinder slips off and SUPERKICKS! Jinder runs in, into a SEATED SENTON! Jinder bails out and Ivar glares at the New Day. Ivar hopes they’re watching and he fetches Jinder. Jinder fires forearms but now it’s a brawl! Erik storms over, that distracts Jinder and Ivar ROCKS him! Ivar RAMS Jinder into the steel steps, then TOSSES him onto the New Day!
The ring count climbs, Ivar is in safe but Jinder is still down! The Viking Raiders win!
Winners: The Viking Raiders, by count-out
The New Day rush the ring but the Vikings get away! The games keep on going, but who will win in the end?
Adam Pearce talks on the phone.
He assures the other side that Baron Corbin was escorted from the building, there won’t be any problems. But Sonya Deville has a sarcastic slow clap going as she enters. “I gotta give it to you. Another successful Adam Pearce Production! What is it with you? Every show that you’re on just turns into a complete disaster.” Announcers walking away from the desk, Lacey Evans walking out of matches, and everyone knows that things would be different with Sonya. But question: does Adam still have that money from that fine where Sonya slapped him across the face? Because he can use that to hire someone to spruce up his resume.
Pearce tells Sonya to knock it off. While he “deeply appreciates” all this, she should worry about herself. Something he did plan is going to happen, and that will be Sonya having a match with Raquel Rodriguez. Best of luck. Sonya steps in it again, but will she have something up her sleeves again?
The Brawling Brutes are here!
Sheamus leads Ridge Holland and “Butch” Pete Dunne to the ring, and he promises to deal with Drew McIntyre and his Claymore sword in “Shillelaghs & Shenanigans.” The Fella has a talk show? We’ll find out, after the break.
SmackDown returns and Sheamus has a table with green set up. Sheamus has a mic to tell Boston that the place is full of green! But Ridge, Dunne, do you smell that? There’s a stench in here. Is it the Charles River? Or these fake Irish folks? Now hold the wagons, guys. Tonight, they will make history! This isn’t Fight Night, but the night that Sheamus was supposed to Brogue McIntyre’s head clean off to then go to Clash at the Castle! But then McIntyre decided to come out with that oversized sword and tried to take Sheamus’ head off! So Sheamus won’t fight until the sword is banned! Just look at these highlights!
Two weeks ago, Sheamus almost got cut by the sword and the ROPES took the hit for him! That bleeding lunatic wants to take Sheamus’ moneymaker away! Sheamus says Drew should be called “McMenace,” and his medieval weapon has no place here! So Sheamus will- Uh oh, here comes McIntyre! And yes, he has his sword! Sheamus tells McIntyre to hold on, and Ridge keeps Dunne back since McIntyre is still armed. Sheamus says that oversized sword has no place here! Ridge can get Butch outta here if McIntyre puts the sword down. Ridge does as told as McIntyre sheaths his sword. Now Sheamus and McIntyre can talk, right?
McIntyre asks, “What happened to you, Sheamus? When did you become such a bitch? Where’s the Sheamus that I’ve known for 20 years?” They signed with WWE together, worked their asses off, and they have a chance to main event the first UK event show in 30 YEARS! 70 THOUSAND people, for the title, and Sheamus keeps punking out? Look at the title situation! The champion has the titles held hostage, doing what he wants when he wants, and the other options aren’t much better. McIntyre says the WWE needs a REAL champion! Someone to restore prestige, someone who is a warrior, someone who is a workhorse! McIntyre knows Sheamus still has that in him!
They’re both dressed to fight, so why not have the #1 contender’s match here in Boston?! Boston likes the sound of that! Sheamus wants to make excuses but McIntyre wants the guts! The passion! Sheamus needs to grow some balls!! Sheamus won’t lie, what McIntyre said gave him goosebumps. They’ve been there, and fact for fact, man to man, superstar to superstar, Sheamus is better than McIntyre! So if McIntyre wants that fight, and if the fans want that fight, Sheamus will give him that fight! The jacket comes off, but then Sheamus says, “Just not tonight.” Fans boo as the Fella laughs, and Sheamus says he spoke to upper management.
Fans chant “You Suck!” at Sheamus but he says that he spoke to management, and they’re making that match for next week, the SmackDown before SummerSlam. And the sword is banned from ringside! It’s a special match: An Irish Donnybrook, aka a Street Fight and anything goes! No swords allowed, but Sheamus shows off his collection of shillelaghs! McIntyre and Sheamus are making history with this! And there will be other Irish shenanigans, too. So does McIntyre have the balls? Well, if that’s what it takes, McIntyre accepts! Well of course he would! Let’s make it official! Pearce show up to make it official!
Pearce walks out and he admits, this sounds incredible, and it sounds like they want it, so what the hell! Sheamus VS McIntyre, in the Donnybrook! It’s official! Sheamus shouts, “It is official!” And McIntyre CUTS the shillelagh in half! McIntyre says he may not have his sword, but Sheamus is still screwed! Will McIntyre beat Sheamus by beating him down with those wood clubs?
The Usos talk backstage.
At SummerSlam, the Profits will get this work. But tonight, they’ll get it, too! Moss will get it! And if Theory says another word about the Tribal Chief, he’ll get some tonight, too! But Paul Heyman has them calm down. This is a Six Man Tag, Usos & Theory VS Profits & Moss. The Profits are a handful, that’s realistically speaking. And The Profits would be the greatest tag team of this generation, if not for the Usos being the greatest of all time. Moss is a handful. And with Theory, that’s 3v3. Without him, that’s 3v2. Heyman doesn’t like those odds. The Usos are the Bloodline, but they can exploit what Theory brings to the table. Use him!
And then after winning, which they will do, then they can go off the air with Theory face down on the mat. And please, make sure that’ snot a prediction but a spoiler. The Usos like the way Heyman thinks, will this all go according to plan?
Sonya Deville VS Raquel Rodriguez!
After another case of sticking her foot in her mouth, Sonya finds herself once again up against Big Mami Cool. Will Raquel teach Sonya a thing about respect? Or will “Cruella” find a way to tip the scales in her favor?
SmackDown returns and Sonya makes her entrance. She is alone this time, so this will truly be 1v1. The bell rings and Sonya circles with Raquel. They tie up, Raquel puts Sonya in the corner and lets off, only for Sonya to turn it around and pull hair! The ref counts, Sonya lets off, and Raquel protests. Sonya SLAPS Raquel, but Raquel laughs that off. Sonya dodges Raquel, waistlocks, but Raquel’s too big and strong to lift! Raquel pries free, Sonya avoids the lariat, but then Raquel swats Sonya’s lariat down! Raquel waistlocks, throws Sonya around, but Sonya throws elbows! Sonya stomps a foot, gets to a corner, and she elbows Raquel back.
Sonya WRINGS Raquel into buckles, then bumps her off buckles again and again! The ref counts, Sonya keeps going but stops at 4. Sonya argues with the ref then throws Raquel by her hair. Sonya lines up a shot, and RUNNING KNEES Raquel down! Cover, TWO! Sonya is frustrated but she clamps onto Raquel with a chinlock. Raquel reaches out an arm, fans rally up and Raquel get sup. Raquel pries free of the hold to then turn Sonya around, and she blocks the punches to HEADBUTT! Sonya staggers up into a haymaker! Raquel whips Sonya into a corner, then scoops her on the rebound to FALL AWAY SLAM!
Fans fire up as Raquel runs corner to corner, goes up, TWISTING VADER! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Sonya survives by mere inches! Raquel is frustrated but she’s after the legs. Sonya kicks at her, gets up and GUILLOTINE! But Raquel powers up and THROWS Sonya away! Sonya staggers up, Raquel rushes over, but Sonya says her arm is hurt! Raquel runs in, Sonya dodges! Sonya drags Raquel in for a DDT! Cover, TWO! Sonya KICKS Raquel in the chest, but Raquel sits up. Sonya KICKS, but then Raquel scoops her! TEXANA BOMB!! High stack, Raquel wins!
Winner: Raquel Rodriguez, by pinfall
Ricky Desperado wrecks Sonya, will she use this to roll on towards the title? Will Sonya learn to pick her fights more carefully from now on?
Aliyah VS Lacey Evans!
First, they were supposed to be teammates, but the Model Soldier was dissatisfied with the fan response. Then, they were supposed to be opponents, and Lacey Evans told all the fans off for being jealous of her while hating themselves. Aliyah just thinks Lacey is lazy and cowardly for not putting in the work and facing her! Will #Aliyah316 be the real inspiration around here? Or will Lacey use her Woman’s Right to knock Aliyah out in the blink of an eye?
Lacey makes her entrance, still expecting fans to get up and cheer. They get up and boo while giving thumbs down, and she gets the mic. “Aww, that’s no way to treat an American hero now, c’mon.” She doesn’t expect these idiots here to know this, but Boston was founded by American heroes. By hard working, motivated and legitimately good people like Lacey. It’s no wonder Tom Brady left this pathetic waste of a dump city. But she’s accomplished more just today from waking up to going to work than everyone else has in an entire year. That’s a hard pill to swallow, huh? She sees these kids looking at their parents and asking, “What’d you accomplish?” NOTHING!
Lacey is so accomplished because she wakes up, she works and she wins! The fans should take note because no one could walk a mile in her shoes. “Because I’m better than every single one of you!” But Aliyah gets after Lacey! Lacey says she’ll get to Aliyah in a minute after all the Nasties give her respect. And then a WOMAN’S RIGHT! Another cheap shot lays out Aliyah! Lacey salutes, then leaves again! So much for putting in some work and winning! When will this role model turned entitled bully have to face the consequences?
Backstage interview with Jeff Jarrett.
The Hall of Famer is here, already dressed to be special guest referee! Kayla asks what Jeff thinks about being named the special guest referee at SummerSlam. Jeff says it is an honor to be part of that match. Ever since the announcement, the support has been overwhelming. Everyone wants a piece of Double J these days, but don’t get him started on the Profits and Usos. Those guys have offered everything under the sun, but Jeff turned them all down, and that is why he got the job. “This is the biggest tag team match in SummerSlam history.” The Profits VS Usos, all the titles on the line!
And after all the controversy that’s gone down between these teams, they needed someone who wouldn’t be intimidated or blinded by the bright lights. They needed a man who can get the job done, and call this right down the middle. And that man is none other than J E Double F, J A Double R, E Double T! Ain’t he great?
Maximum Male Models is backstage.
And standing with Maçè and Mansôör is Maxxine Dupri, Max Dupri’s sister. She is the Director of Talent at MMM, and says that while her brother has good taste, she says her tastes are… “delicious.” And you will see what she means next week when MMM debuts the beach wear collection. Summer is hot, but MMM beats the heat by continuing the titillate the juices of your guilty pleasures. Just what happens when SmackDown arrives in Atlanta ahead of SummerSlam?
Six Man Tag: Mad Cap Moss & The Street Profits VS (Austin) Theory & The Usos!
The brawl earlier tonight sparked this match, and now things are set to explode in the main event! Will Moss, Dawkins & Ford have the last laugh on the golden boys of WWE? Or will the Youngest Mr. MITB Ever and the Undisputed Tag Team Champions work together to get momentum towards SummerSlam?
SmackDown returns as Moss and the Profits make their entrance together. Then Theory makes his entrance last, kissing the MITB briefcase. The trios sort out and Dawkins starts against Jimmy. Jimmy says Jey should watch Theory, Theory doesn’t even know what the A in A-Town even means. But then Dawkins rolls Jimmy up! TWO, Dawkins rushes in but Jimmy waistlocks. Dawkins pries at the hold, rolls free, and dodges to then handspring and dropkick! Fans fire up, Dawkins covers, ONE! Dawkins clamps onto an armlock, Jimmy endures, and Jimmy fights up. Jimmy powers Dawkins to a corner and the ref counts the ropebreak.
Jimmy UPPERCUTS Dawkins, whips him corner to corner but Dawkins reverses. Dawkins runs in to CYCLONE SPLASH and ENSIGURI! Tag to Ford, the Profits whip and dropkick Jimmy down! Jey get sin, he gets DOUBLE DROPKICKS! Theory is upset that the Usos aren’t together, but Moss runs in to BLAST Theory down! Ford drums on Theory’s briefcase but Theory snatches it from him. Theory and the Usos are on the defensive was SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns again and Moss headlocks Jey. Jey powers him back, Theory tags in, Jey powers out but Moss stops himself to elbow Jey. Theory cheap shots Moss, throws more haymakers, and he backs Moss down to the corner. Theory stomps away on Moss, the ref counts and Theory lets off at 4. Fans boo but Theory RAMS into Moss in the corner! Theory snapmares Moss, stomps him down, then covers, TWO! Theory clamps onto the arm and he also has a forearm in Moss’ face. Theory rains down elbows, fans rally up, and Moss fights up, but Theory wrangles him down. Theory grinds the armlock, throws down more elbows, and he tags Jimmy.
Jimmy and Theory mug Moss, Jimmy throws haymakers in the corner, but the ref counts. Jimmy lets off, Jey gets a shot in, and Theory CHOKES Moss on the ropes! They get away with that, Jey tags in, he and Jimmy SPLIT the wishbone! Moss writhes, Jey drags Moss up to UPPERCUT him! Moss staggers to a corner, but he dodges Jey’s splash! Hot tag to Dawkins! Dawkins ROCKS Jey, runs and hurdles to FLYING ELBOW! Fans fire up with Dawkins, he runs corner to corner to CYCLONE SPLASH! And ENZIGURI! Dawkins drags Jey up but Jey slips out of the Silencer to kick and UPPERCUT!
Ford tags in, he goes up top! Salute and HUGE CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Ford is frustrated but he brings Jey back up. Jey tries to back suplex but Ford lands on his feet to mule kick, front kick and ENZIGURI! Ford runs in, but Jey puts him on the apron! Ford GAMANGIRIS, then he DECKS Jimmy! Ford avoids Theory’s sweep to PENALTY KCIK! But Jey BLASTS Ford and Ford hits announce desk! Jey tags Jimmy, the Usos get Ford up! Jimmy TOSSES Ford into the timekeeper’s area! The Usos hold up the fingers, #WeTheOnes, and SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns again and Jey has Ford in a facelock. Jey knees Ford down, then SUPERKICKS Dawkins! But Ford kicks and DDTs Jey down! Fans fire up while both men are down and they crawl for their corners. Hot tags to Jimmy and Moss! Moss rallies on Jimmy with big lariats, then he DECKS Theory! Moss dodges to then FLAPJACK Jimmy! Theory runs in, into Moss’ arms! FALL AWAY SLAM! Moss is fired up and Boston is fired up with him! Moss RAMS into Jimmy, but then has to dodge Jey! Moss clotheslines Jey out, blocks a superkick and POP-UP SLAMS him down! Cover, TWO!! Jimmy survives but Moss keeps his focus.
Moss waits on Jimmy to get up, then reels Jimmy in to turn him. Jimmy sips out and shoves to SUPERKICK Moss down! Cover, TWO!! Moss survives but fans are thunderous! Theory is back on the corner, he wants in, but then starts to think. Theory leaves Jimmy hanging! Theory says he has bigger fish to fry, but then Jey is there to SUPERKICK him down!! Jey puts Theory on the apron, Jimmy tags him in!! And then SUPERKICKS Theory down again!! Theory flops out of the ring, and the Usos are the ones who leave him high and dry. Only for Dawkins and Ford to go after them! Ford gets in the ring and FLIES out onto everyone!!
Fans lose their minds while Theory flounders away. Theory finds Moss, gets him in the ring, and Theory throws haymakers. Moss hits back, they brawl, Theory gets the edge! But Moss ducks the haymaker, only for Theory to ELBOW him! Theory hooks a leg, AOI SHOUDO!! Cover, TWO!!! Moss survives and Boston can’t believe it! Theory is seething, and he says A-Town Down! He drags Moss up, fireman’s carries, but Moss slips off and shoves! Moss ducks ‘n’ dodges to build that speed and he OPUNCES Theory! Theory flounders, Moss runs in and RAMS Theory in the corner! Moss runs again, Theory CLOBBERS him with the briefcase!!
Winners: Mad Cap Moss & the Street Profits, by disqualification
Theory CLUBS away on Moss with the briefcase, DECKS him with it, then SMACKS him with it again! And again! Fans chant “You Suck!” but Theory just keeps beating Moss down! BUT HERE COMES THE BEAST!!! Brock Lesnar sees Theory in the ring and has a big smile on his face. He didn’t walk away like we heard, he just wanted to make us think he did! Theory is furious, he doesn’t want Lesnar stealing his moment! But Lesnar is pacing around the ring, toying with his prey. Theory has that briefcase at the ready to swing on Lesnar like he just did to Moss, but Lesnar doesn’t care. Lesnar kicks low and hauls Theory up, F5!! And then he SMACKS Theory with the briefcase!!
Lesnar holds up the briefcase and Boston is thunderous! Lesnar then hauls Theory up, F5 on the briefcase!! Will Lesnar crush Roman Reigns, and whatever’s left of Theory, once and for all at SummerSlam?
My Thoughts:
First off, a wild day of pro-wrestling news. HHH is back behind the scenes as EVP of Talent Relations, Vince McMahon retires, as Stephanie made known, and Brock Lesnar supposedly walked away from SmackDown but we now know that wasn’t necessarily true. We got a great opening promo from the Profits, Theory and Usos, and a great brawl with them and Moss to give us tonight’s main event. That was a great Six Man Tag, and great story stuff with Theory and the Usos turning on each other. The DQ gives the Faces momentum while giving Theory some good Heel heat, and then Lesnar’s surprise appearance really shook things up, and Lesnar got to just demolish Theory for some great momentum of his own.
Jeff Jarrett had a decent promo to try and kayfabe his part in this Undisputed Tag Team Championship story, though I’m not sure it was all that smooth. He claimed there was bribery but it would’ve been more effective if we saw that, such as Heyman talking to him, or even Sami Zayn talking to him on The Bloodline’s behalf. I’m also surprised at who WWE chose for “Maxxine Dupri” in Sophia Cromwell. She was still in the new Robert Stone Brand as one of Von Wagner’s managers in NXT. Maybe they’re trying to have Von be his own man now, even after the run of him attacking people out of jealousy and a sense of Sophia being his girlfriend. But the part has been cast, we’ll just have to see how this plays out.
We got a really good rematch from Nakamura and Ludwig, and Gunther having a part to play was also good escalation in the story. I don’t really know if Gunther still chopping the hell out of Ludwig was warranted, it might make Ludwig want to ditch Gunther, but we’ll have to wait and see. They didn’t announce it tonight, but I would hope on the go-home that Nakamura VS Gunther for the Intercontinental Championship is made for SummerSlam. Then we got a good promo faceoff between Ronda and Liv, both of them delivering their lines without a hiccup. That’s going to be a good match just off Liv’s story of showing she can legitimately compete with Ronda, and as I said before, I hope Liv wins to keep from being a one month champion.
That boot outta nowhere from Corbin was wild, and that brawl he and McAfee had in the back was good stuff. McAfee’s promo calling Corbin out was great, too, their match is going to be a sleeper hit for SummerSlam. Pearce and Sonya continue their story, and Sonya takes a loss to Raquel. I still sense this getting to a point where Sonya can claim Pearce is abusing his authority. And Sonya was making some good points, Lacey keeps leaving matches. As I said before, I’m still gonna disapprove of how they set Lacey up to be a Heel, but I suppose Aliyah can get some good Face momentum taking her on. I just hope next time, Pearce himself forces Lacey to have the match, just to shut Sonya up.
The stuff with the New Day, Jinder, Shanky and Viking Raiders could’ve been better. And I don’t know why they’re stretching this out so that we aren’t getting a straight up New Day VS Viking Raiders match. Maybe that comes to a head on the go-home and we get a really good match to lead into SummerSlam. Seems that’s also the purpose of the shillelaghs only Street Fight known as the “Donnybrook.” Sheamus and McIntyre are finally having it out and in a match that is appropriate, in that there will be nothing holding them back. And though McIntyre stood tall here, I would think he defies the math and wins the match to be the #1 contender and go on to Clash at the Castle.
My Score: 8.4/10
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Will The Man be the Last Woman Standing?
Becky Lynch and Nia Jax want to finally put this to an end, so tonight on Raw, it will be a Big Time Last Woman Standing match! Will the Irresistible Force force the WrestleMania 40 match to change?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: #DIY VS The Creed Brothers; DIY wins and advances to WrestleMania.
- Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell VS Kayden Carter & Katana Chance; Candice & Indi win.
- Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The New Day VS The Alpha Academy; wins and advance to WrestleMania.
- Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The Awesome Truth VS Indus Sher; win(s) and advance to WrestleMania.
- Last Woman Standing: Becky Lynch VS Nia Jax; wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Jey Uso is here!
North Carolina State University fires up and bounces along with Main Event Jey, and Pat McAfee plays a dangerous game standing on the armchairs! From Bret VS Owen to Matt VS Jeff, we’re about to get Jey VS Jimmy in the third-ever Brother VS Brother WrestleMania grudge match! Jey gets the mic as fans chant “YEET! YEET! YEET!” Jey welcomes us to Monday Night Raw, and wants us to check this out. He knows his brothers are somewhere in the building. He knows The Bloodline’s in the building. He knows how the Bloodline rolls! SO Big Brother Jimmy, where you at?! Where you at, Uce!?
Jey waits for someone to show up somewhere, and the crowd spots them first! Fans boo as Jimmy & Solo make their way from the back of the stands. Jimmy gets a mic and goes to the apron while Solo paces around the outside. Fans chant “YEET! YEET! YEET!” again as Jey puts the sunglasses aside. The Usos stare each other down, the fans now chant “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Jey wants to say something, hesitates, but then says these two would always get to it but they always knew how to shake right back to this. But now it’s different. Regardless of what happened, the bad blood between them, Jey misses his brother. He does.
Jey knows Jimmy will say what he wants, but Jey doesn’t talk to him no more, doesn’t ride with him no more, doesn’t even see him no more! Jimmy can just come back. Jimmy says he never left! He protected Jey! Jey’s so dumb, he can’t see it! Jimmy is protecting Jey! It was Jey’s idea to leave The Bloodline, but Jimmy helped because he is Jey’s brother. So yeah, Jey leaves, and what happens? Lil’ Bro becomes the BIGGEST star on the Raw roster! Lil’ Bro becomes the top merch seller! Lil’ Bro goes off to become a tag team champion without Jimmy, but with CODY RHODES!? Who left who, Uce?
Jey forgot Jimmy! Everything Jey did that was big was cuz of Big Bro Jimmy! Everything! So listen loud and clear. The biggest moment in Jey’s career, the BIGGEST moment, is because of Jimmy! Jimmy stares Jey down, but Jey says no. Jey’s biggest moment in his career is going to be his dream match at WrestleMania 40: Jey VS Jimmy, and Jey knocks the yeet out Jimmy’s ass! Jey DECKS Jimmy, DECKS Solo off the apron, but then Jimmy SUPERKICKS Jey down! The fans boo but now Solo storms in and looms over Jey. Solo drags Jey up so Jimmy can look him in the face and tell him that Jey needs to get it right! JIMMY made Jey!
But here comes Cody Rhodes! The fans fire up as Cody DECKS Jimmy, then gets in to springboard and CODY CUTTER Solo!! The American Nightmare said he was gonna be a Bloodline Hunter, and he made sure they didn’t take out Jey! Cody tells The Bloodline it is only a matter of time before they lose it all at WrestleMania! Will Jey prove that younger or older doesn’t matter when he is the BETTER brother?
Adam Pearce is on the phone.
He’s telling Nick Aldis to stop being a hypocrite, telling Pearce to keep his roster in check when this is happening. But then Paul Heyman walks over and Pearce says he’ll call Aldis back. Pearce then asks Heyman what was all that, and Heyman says he owes Pearce an apology. He is sorry. That was not authorized by The Final Boss nor The Tribal Chief, and certainly not by Heyman. Jimmy & Solo went into business for themselves so Heyman apologizes. But listen, Pearce knows that there have been flight delays all day. Even private jets like theirs. Heyman is barely even dressed for TV, let alone has his make-up!
Pearce says those two were ready. Yeah, well, they got in on a different flight. But Roman Reigns is a chief of his word. Those two are already gone, out of the arena, and Pearce has Roman’s word. Call his bluff, put out a search party. Pearce knows Heyman is here on official business, which Heyman will handle, and then be gone. That is it. But when Heyman does his official business… everyone will be caught off guard. “And Mr. Pearce, sir, that’s not a prediction. That’s a spoiler.” The Wise Man heads out and calls Roman, but just what is Heyman teasing?
Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: #DIY VS The Creed Brothers!
Unlike SmackDown’s mini-tournament, Raw and Adam Pearce say it’s win and you’re in! Tommaso Ciampa & Johnny Gargano want one more shot at Judgment Day, but so do Julius & Brutus! Will the Sicilian Psycho & Johnny Wrestling prove that when it comes to Mania Moments, you gotta do it yourself? Or will the Creeds be bringing golden tickets to the Diamond Mine?
Raw returns as The Creeds make their entrance. The teams fist bump to show respect, then the teams sort out. Julius starts against Ciampa, they circle and tie up. They’re in a deadlock, Ciampa goes for a waistlock but Julius facelocks. Julius wrangles Ciampa to the mat, flips him over, ONE, and Ciampa keeps moving. They trade facelocks, gator roll, and Julius gets another lateral press. ONE, but Julius gator rolls Ciampa around. Ciampa fights up, puts Julius on ropes, and the ref counts. Ciampa lets off, then CHOPS! Julius shoots in for the takedown! Julius has a leg, Ciampa fights but Julius turns him for the ANKLE LOCK!
Ciampa scrambles to the ROPEBREAK, and Julius lets off cleanly. Ciampa bails out, shakes it off, and he gets back in. They go again, Julius hits a fireman’s carry takeover! Tag to Brutus, and Julius feeds Ciampa to another fireman’s carry takeover! Brutus cording holds but Ciampa endures. Ciampa fights up, but Brutus facelocks. The fans rally as Brutus switches and rolls Ciampa. Ciampa fights up, headlocks, then ROCKS Brutus! Brutus DECKS Ciampa, then whips him to ropes. Ciampa ducks ‘n’ dodges, tag to Gargano! Ciampa slides, CHOPS, Gargano LARIATS and Ciampa JAWBREAKERS! Wrench and LARIAT!
Julius runs in, Gargano kicks and Ciampa gives him the boost for SLICED BREAD! The Creeds bail out, but DIY DOUBLE PLANCHA! Down go the Creeds, and DIY applaud and pat themselves on the back. The fans fire up and Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Ciampa has Julius in a chinlock. The fans rally, Julius fights up to throw body shots, but Ciampa hits a back suplex! Julius lands out of it, but Ciampa elbows him away. Ciampa drop toeholds Julius, gets legs, but Julius BOOTS Ciampa away! Hot tags to Gargano and Brutus! Brutus rallies on DIY, TOSSES Gargano, then blocks Ciampa’s kick to get under and POWERBOMB him! Brutus sees DIY regroup, then he runs in to SPLASH them both! O’Conner on Ciampa, but Gargano runs up! NORTHERN LIGHTS! Brutus has a DOUBLE BRIDGE, TWO!! Tag to Julius and he gut wrench SLAMS Brutus on Ciampa!
Brutus helps Julius flip up and over to SPLASH onto Ciampa! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up as Julius drags Ciampa up. Ciampa throat chops! A bit dirty but Ciampa wants that win! Ciampa storms up on Julius, but Julius basement stalling suplexes!! The fans are thunderous, Gargano runs in, but Brutus intercepts! Brutus suplexes Gargano now, stalls, and then the Creeds SLAM and kip up! Then they both STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Ciampa stays in this for DIY but the Creeds keep cool. Julius stomps Ciampa, tags Brutus, and they KNEE Ciampa around! Then they DOUBLE GUTBUSTER! Ciampa sputters but Brutus tags Julius in.
Julius drags Ciampa up, tags Brutus back in, and Brutus climbs. Julius Electric Chair Lifts, but Gargano makes the save! Gargano ROCKS Julius, Brutus ROCKS Gargano! Ciampa BOOTS Brutus, Gargano swings on Julius but is sent into Ciampa! Ciampa pushes Gargano back so he can ELBOW Julius! DIY set up again but Brutus stops the Sliced Bread! Julius DECKS Ciampa, KNEE into the WIDOWMAKER! Julius scrapes Gargano out, Brutus POUNCES Ciampa over the desk! Pat fires up with Brutus and so do the fans! The Creeds say they run this now, and then Brutus drags Ciampa up while Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Julius has Ciampa in a chinlock. Ciampa fights up, and he JAWBREAKERS free! Ciampa ELBOWS Brutus down, BOOTS Julius, then runs up, only for Julius to catch him and toss him back! But then Ciampa catches Julius for a REVERSE DDT! The fans fire up while both men are down and crawling! Hot tag to Gargano! Gargano slingshots to KICK Julius, then he CLOBBERS Brutus! ENZIGIRI for Julius, then he runs to DOUBLE KNEE Brutus! BULLDOG LARIAT COMBO! The fans fire up with Gargano while Julius ends up in another corner. Gargano runs in but is put on the apron!
Gargano GAMANGIRIS Julius, SUPERKICKS Brutus, then SLINGSHOT SPEARS Julius! Cover, TWO! Julius survives but Gargano puts him in a corner. Gargano CHOPS, then hoists Julius up top. Tag to Ciampa, Ciampa CHOPS Julius while Gargano DIVES onto Brutus! Ciampa CHOPS Julius again, goes up top, and fireman’s carries! Ciampa then tucks Julius in for the SUPER AIR RAID CRASH! Cover, TWO!! Julius survives again and shocks Ciampa! The fans are just as stunned, but Ciampa and Julius sit up. Ciampa stands, and he CHOPS! And CHOPS! Julius sits back up as Ciampa puts some stank on the CHOP!
Julius brings the straps down! Julius fires a forearm, Ciampa hits back, and the fans fire up as the shots keep going! They go faster and faster, harder and harder, meaner and meaner! The fans fire up as this just turns into a brawl of haymakers and SLAPS! Ciampa then gets around, ripcord and HAYMAKER! ROLLING- TACKLE from Julius! And then the ANKLE LOCK!! Ciampa reaches out, moves around, but Gargano runs up! Julius kicks him, then gets him up with one arm to POWERBOMB! Then it’s back to the ANKLE LOCK on Ciampa! Brutus gets in to get Gargano for an ANKLE LOCK of his own!
The fans are thunderous as DIY endures! Ciampa and Gargano fight, turn things over, SICILIAN CROSSFACE and GargaNO Escape!! The fans are thunderous as The Creeds power up and lift both DIY! They fireman’s carry, then TOSS DIY into each other!! The fans are thunderous as Julius goes up to MOONSAULT onto Ciampa! Brutus MOONSAULTS, too! Cover, TWO?!?! Ciampa survives and the fans are loving this! Julius tags back in, Brutus climbs up! “This is Awesome!” as Julius Electric Chair Lifts Ciampa! But Ciampa VICTORY ROLLS to get under the Brutus Ball!! Cover, Brutus tips it! Gargano TOSSES Brutus then SUPERKICKS Julius!! Ciampa has the cover, DIY WINS!!
Winners: DIY, by pinfall (advance to WrestleMania)
Julius can’t believe it! He kicked out at 3.1, but a loss is a loss! And for the first time ever, DIY is going to Mania! Will Philadelphia soon be historic for a DIY championship victory?
Judgment Day meets backstage.
Rhea Ripley is with Dominik Mysterio, Finn Balor & JD McDonagh, but also Andrade. Dom says he’s always liked Andrade’s style, but things have changed since the last time he was in the WWE. The Judgment Day runs Raw now. Rhea says yeah, and they don’t extend invitations to just anyone. Judgment Day is very exclusive. JD says very exclusive. But if Andrade continues to impress them, they’ll see about making things happen. And Finn says he just heard that Andrade has a match next week, so the Judgment Day will be watching him. Sounds good. See you next week. But then in steps Damian Priest.
The Punisher says hello to El Idolo, and El Idolo says hello to Senor Dinero. Andrade heads out, will he quite literally win his way into the club? But as for Priest, Finn asks him what he was up to. Priest was getting a closer look at that DIY VS Creeds match. DIY won, but whatever, they can handle those guys. But JD, they thought he could handle Ricochet last week, and run the gauntlet, and then go to WrestleMania to bring even more gold back to Judgment Day. JD says he did he belonged in there. But also, he battered Ricochet, who got lucky at the end there. Right, Finn? Finn hesitates, and Rhea says Priest is right on this one.
Ricochet made a fool out of JD! A fool? Yes. A fool? Yes. That’s why tonight, Dom will make it right. Right, Dom? Yeah, Mami. Let’s go talk to Pearce to make it official. Dom & JD head out, and the others are confident Dom’s got this. But does he, though? Or will the One and Only have two wins over Judgment Day in as many weeks?
Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell VS Kayden Carter & Katana Chance!
The Poison Pixie certainly lived up to that name last week when she bullied Maxxine Dupri as part of beating her and Ivy Nile last week. Will Candice’s toxic tongue strike again? Or will the party not be stopped by her harsh vibes?
The teams sort out and Candice starts against Kayden. Candice rushes up, Kayden gets around and O’Conner Rolls, TWO! Kayden springboards to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Kayden stalks Candice, Candice ELBOWS her away then tags Indi. Kayden dodges Candice to SUPERKICK, but Indi BOOTS Kayden! Cover, TWO! Indi drags Kayden up, tags Candice back in, and they mug Kayden. Candice CLUBS away on Kayden, fires off furious fists, then covers. TWO, and Candice grows frustrated already. The fans rally, Candice steps up but Kayden avoids the senton! Tags to Katana and Indi! Katana blasts past Indi, comes back and BULLDOGS!
Katana keeps moving, ducks ‘n’ dodges, then SHOTGUNS Indi to a corner! The fans fire up as Katana stomps away on Indi! Indi shoves Katana, Katana runs corner to corner to A-LIST LARIAT! Katana shoves Indi down, runs up, but into a back suplex! Katana lands out, but her leg jams! The ref and Kayden check, then the ref keeps Indi back. Indi says okay, and she stays by Candice. But Candice tags in to WRECK Kayden! And she SLAMS Katana’s leg into the post!! HALF CRAB and DEEP! Katana taps, Candice & Indi win!
Winners: Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell, by submission
Candice smiles and celebrates with Indi, but Indi doesn’t want to. Candice says a win is a win, but just what is going on in her toxic mind?
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We’re just one step away from the Cup!
Cold Skull faces The Fierce Warrior, and Gene Blast faces The King of Darkness, and when the smoke clears, we will have our New Japan Cup finalists!
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Boltin Oleg & Shoma Kato VS Zack Sabre Jr. & Mikey Nicholls; ZSJ & Mikey win.
- Six Man Tag: El Desperado, Tomohiro Ishii & Togi Makabe VS Just5Guys; Just5Guys win.
- Tanga Loa & Ryusuke Taguchi VS Great-O-Khan & Callum Newman; Loa & Taguchi win.
- Six Man Tag: YOSHI-HASHI, Toru Yano & Hiroyoshi Tenzan VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
- 8 Man Tag: Shota Umino, El Phantasmo, Hikuleo & YOH VS The House of Torture; Shota, ELP, Leo & Yoh win.
- Six Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS The United Empire; LIJ wins.
- 2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: Yota Tsuji VS EVIL; Tsuji wins and advances to the finals.
- 2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: SANADA VS Hirooki Goto; Goto wins and advances to the finals.
PLAY BY PLAY
2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: Yota Tsuji VS EVIL w/ Dick Togo!
The Gene Blast overcame the tricks Ren Narita tried, but that’s because the House of Torture was saving all the good stuff so they could slay the Rampaging Dragon. Will the deck be even more stacked to make sure Everything is Evil’s? Or will Yota be one step away from LIJ VS LIJ at Sakura Genesis?
Well, Dick is making his way out here, but where is Evil? Oh, there he is. No tricks just yet it seems. But then Yota DIVES onto Evil! The fans fire up but Dick attacks Yota! Dick whips, Yota stops himself, and then scoops Dick for a BACKBREAKER! The fans fire up and Yota wants the bell. The ref says yes, ring the bell, and this is on the record! Yota stomps and CLUBS Evil, then whips, but Evil reverses! Yota hits railing, and then Evil whips him into more railing! Evil CHOKES Yota against the railing, Yota fights back, but the ref gets knocked aside! Evil puts Yota in so he and Dick can stomp away!
The fans boo but here comes the rest of the House already! Narita, Yujiro, Kanemaru and Jack all stomp away on Yota, but here come Bushi & Hiromu! It’s a replay of yesterday as LIJ fights off the House, but the numbers are still against them! The ref rushes in to tell everyone to stop! Evil shoves the ref out of the ring, Yota fires off on him, but Evil CLAWS Yota’s eyes! The House CHOKES LIJ, but the ref says stop! The bell rings, but what is the decision!? NO CONTEST!?
No Contest
What does this mean!? Someone has to advance, right? The finals aren’t until the 20th, how can there be a no contest? The House started this, where’re the consequences?! Yota gets up but Evil TOSSES him back out! LIJ regroups and Yota asks for a mic. Yota tells Evil that he’s sick and tired of this! They ARE gonna finish this match! The fans like the sound of that! All the refs come out, including Red Shoes, to discuss how this will be handled. For starters, they tell all the extras to get outta here! LIJ is cool with that, and Hiromu tells the House to come along. Evil says fine, and Jack, Kanemaru, Narita, Yujiro and even Dick reluctantly exit.
The announcement is officially made, and the bell rings! Yota and Evil rush in, Evil kicks low but Yota CLUBS away on Evil! Evil CLAWS the eyes! Evil kicks, runs, RAMS, but Yota rebounds to run Evil over! Then run and SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Yota fires up and the fans are with him! Evil bails out but the fans rally for Yota. Evil wants Yota to stay back, then he slides in, only to slide right out! Yota runs out after Evil, but Evil kicks him! Evil RAMS Yota into the timekeeper! Abe-san and his table go flying! Evil gets the mic to tell Yota that this is what he gets! The fans boo but Evil tells them off, too! Evil stomps Yota then soaks up the heat.
Evil unties the blue buckle pad himself, then waits in the ring. The ref checks Yota and the fans rally up again. The Young Lions help Abe-san while Yota drags himself up. Yota slides in, the fans cheer, but Evil pulls on Yota’s hair! Evil wrenches the hair, then wrenches it again! And again! Evil CLUBS the hair! The ref reprimands but Evil just dusts off his hands. Evil covers, but the ref refuses to count! Evil is furious but he’s the one up to no good! The ref still says no, so Evil stands on Yota’s head. The fans rally up, Yota rises, and he grins as he winds up to ROCK Evil with a forearm! And ROCK him with another!
Yota ROCKS Evil again, but Evil whips him into the bare buckles! Yota falls and the ref reprimands about the missing buckle pad. Evil stomps Yota, covers, TWO! The fans cheer but Evil is annoyed. Evil scuffs Yota, taunts him, and drags him up. Evil CHOPS, Yota drops to his knees, but Evil stands him back up. Evil CHOPS again and Yota grits his teeth as he drops to his knees! Evil stands Yota up again, to fake the chop to CLAW the eyes! The ref reprimands, Evil lets off, and then Evil stands on Yota in a corner. The ref counts, Evil lets go of the ropes but that’s not the problem! Evil steps away, drags Yota up but claims he’s dead weight.
The ref checks, Evil stands Yota up and wrenches an arm. Evil whips Yota into a corner, runs in, but into a BOOT! Evil runs in again, blocks the boot, but Yota brings Evil in for the STOMP! The fans fire up while Yota rests on the mat. The fans rally up and Yota rises again. Evil’s in the corner, runs out, but into the BACKBREAKER! COMPLETE SHOT! STOMP! The fans fire up again as Yota stands back up. Yota runs, to CURB STOMP!! Yota roars and the fans fire up again! Evil flounders while Yota aims. Yota runs in, but the ref is used as a shield! Evil kicks Yota low, then uses the ref in MAGIC KILLER!
All three men are down while the fans rally up again. Evil stands, he brings Yota up, and the ref also rises. Evil whips Yota into the bare buckles, then clotheslines him in! Then FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, but Evil lets off?! Evil wants to torture Yota but it’s hard to say if Yota is still even in this. Yota opens his eyes, rises up, but Evil fireman’s carries! DARKNESS FALLS! Cover, TWO!! Yota survives, the fans fire up, but Evil is furious! Evil slashes his throat and vows to end this now! Evil drags Yota up, spins him around, but Yota fights the STO with elbows! Evil kicks low, whips again, but Yota stops from hitting buckles!
Evil runs in, Yota dodges and Evil hits the buckles! SUPERKICK!! Both men are down again and the fans fire back up! We’re only ten minutes into this new match but this is on top of the madness from earlier. Evil drags Yota up, but Yota ROCKS Evil! Evil fights Yota’s fireman’s carry and CLUBS him, but both men wobble. Evil LARIATS, but Yota stays up! The fans fire up but Evil swings to LARIAT again! Yota drops to a knee, but he grins through the pain! Evil says alright, and he throws off his elbow pad. Evil runs to LARIAT! Yota grits his teeth to stay up! V-TRIGGER! Yota brings Evil in, suplexes, ORANGE CRUSH! Cover, TWO!!
Evil is still in this but the fans rally behind Yota again. Yota rises, drags Evil up, and then goes to the corner. Yota goes up and up and Evil moves the ref into the way! The ref takes the FLYING CURB STOMP!!! And now the House returns! The fans boo as Kanemaru, Dick, Yujiro, Narita & Jack all stomp away on Yota again! The fans tell them to go home, again, but these guys don’t care! They just put one out on Yota. They whip Yota to a corner, then DIck runs in to ELBOW! Kanemaru ELBOWS! Yujiro BOOTS! Jack SPLASHES! Narita ELBOWS! Then they snapmare and set Yota up! Dick climbs for the DICK CHOP!!
The fans boo but the House applauds their own dirtiness. But here come Bushi & Hiromu again! But they just get mugged again! They set Hiromu up for the DICK CHOP, while Bushi gets a JACK CHOP! The House then slithers away before a replacement ref rushes out here. Evil drags Yota up, winds up and runs, to LARIAT!! Cover, TWO!!! Yota survives and the fans are thunderous! Evil is at a loss for words, but he slashes his throat! He vows to end it for real, and he reels Yota in. EVERYTHING IS- Yota flips through!? And HEADBUTTS!! The fans fire up as Yota reels Evil in for a fireman’s carry! 70 CROSS!! Cover, TWO!!
Evil survives the swinging spinebuster and the House cheers! Yota drags himself to a corner, drags himself up with the ropes, and roars as he takes aim! Evil rises, but Yujiro distracts! Dick runs in, but gets a V-TRIGGER! The ref sees Dick, but misses the LOW BLOW! Then Evil RAMS Yota into the ref! That’s the second ref this match! Narita gets his push-up bar! The others set Yota up, but here comes SHINGO TAKAGI! The Rampaging Dragon has seen enough, and he’s still pissed from yesterday as it is! He dodges Narita to PUMPING BOMBER! Kanemaru & Yujiro kick Takagi, double whip, but he DOUBLE PUMPING BOMBERS!!
Jack gets in, but he gets ELBOW, JAB and YUKON LARIAT! Evil runs up but Takagi SWATS Evil’s lariat to JAB! Then feed to Hiromu’s SUPERKICK! Hiromu & Takagi set Evil up for Bushi’s BLACK MIST!! Evil can’t see, the PUMPING BOMBER turns him inside-out!! The fans are thunderous as LIJ helps Yota up! Red Shoes hurries out here, and Yota aims at Evil! GENE BLASTER!!! Cover, Yota wins!!!
Winner: Yota Tsuji, by pinfall (advances to the finals)
The House of Torture ran out of tricks, and now there is light at the end of the tournament! Will Yota do LIJ proud and bring home the Cup?
2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: SANADA VS Hirooki Goto!
One down, one to go. Yota Tsuji has made it through, now we see who joins him in the finals! Will the Cold Skull or Fierce Warrior be the one that steps closer to former glory?
The bell rings and the fans duel between “GO-TO-O!” and “SA-NA-DA!” Red Shoes measures the levels, and it seems to slightly favor Goto. Goto and Sanada circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Goto gets some leverage to put Sanada against ropes, but he lets off slowly. Goto pats Sanada on the shoulders and the fans cheer. The two reset, circle again, and tie up again. It’s another deadlock, but again Goto finds a way to put Sanada on ropes. Sanada turns things around, lets off slowly, and also pats Goto on the shoulders. The fans applaud and the two reset again. They feel things out, knuckle lock, then move to a clinch.
They fight for control, Sanada starts pushing Goto towards a corner but Goto slips away. They feel things out, knuckle lock again, then break. They tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, Goto waistlocks, but Sanada wrenches to wristlock. Goto rolls, wrenches, wristlocks, but Sanada spins, wrenches, only for Goto to roll! Goto gets a leg to trip Sanada up, and he has a toehold. Sanada fights back with a chinlock but Goto pulls on the leg. Sanada uses his free leg to hook Goto into an ARMBAR, but Goto clasps hands! Goto moves around, pops free, then headlocks. Sanada fights up, Goto grinds the headlock, but Sanada throws body shots.
Sanada powers up and out, but Goto runs him over! The fans rally as things speed up, and Goto counters hip toss with hip toss! Goto runs and he clotheslines Sanada up and out! The fans fire up and Goto slides out after Sanada. Goto stomps Sanada, drags him up, then CLUBS him on the neck! Sanada staggers, Goto CHOPS him, then kicks him, then CLUBS him! Goto whips but Sanada stops himself from hitting railing! Goto runs in but Sanada drop toeholds him into the railing! Goto goes down in a heap, but Sanada opens the gate. Sanada brings Goto through, then to the crowd! PILEDRIVER to the bare floor!
The fans are stunned but Red Shoes reprimands. Sanada leaves Goto behind and slides into the ring. The fans rally for Goto as the ring count begins. Goto crawls at 5 of 20, finds his way to ringside at 10, but still hobbles and crawls. He stands at 17 to slide in! The fans cheer, but Sanada stomps Goto. Sanada drags Goto up, CLUBS him on the neck, then brings him back up to CLUB him again. Goto CHOPS! And CHOPS! Sanada eggs Goto on so Goto CHOPS again! Goto whips, Sanada reverses to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Cover, TWO! Sanada keeps cool and sits Goto up into a chinlock. Goto endures and the fans rally again.
Goto kicks forward, reaches out, but Sanada cranks on the hold! Goto keeps fighting, and has the ROPEBREAK! Sanada lets go cleanly, but then he stomps Goto while he’s down. Sanada then stands Goto up to CLUB him on the neck. Goto CHOPS in return! And CHOPS, and CHOPS, and has Sanada in a corner! Goto CHOPS again, then whips corner to corner. Goto runs in, but Sanada BOOTS first! Sanada runs, Goto follows, and Goto LARIATS Sanada down! The fans fire up and Goto rises, clutching his neck. Goto stands Sanada up to fire off forearms, then he whips corner to corner. Goto runs in, MURAMASA!
Sanada wobbles, into the SAIDO! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up while Goto grits his teeth. Goto drags Sanada up, fireman’s carries, but Sanada fights free! Sanada waistlocks, Goto throws elbows, then runs. Sanada hurdles, hurdles, and DROPKICKS! Goto tumbles out of the ring, Sanada PLANCHAS him down! The fans fire up and Sanada encourages them to get louder. The fans get louder and Sanada appreciates it. Sanada then goes back for Goto, brings him up and puts him in the ring. Sanada fireman’s carries but Goto throws elbows! Sanada turns around into Goto’s fireman’s carry, but then slips out into the dragon sleeper!
But Goto arm-drags free! Sanada kicks low, runs, but Goto follows! Sanada dodges this time, runs again, but Goto still follows! Sanada sidesteps this time, but Goto holds ropes to avoid the hurdle! Goto runs in, but Sanada fireman’s carries! T K O! Cover, TWO! Goto is still in this and the fans rally up! Sanada goes up the corner, ROUNDING BODY- NO, Sanada has to land out as Goto moves! Sanada runs in, but into the fireman’s carry! USHIGOROSHI! Both men are down and the fans fire up again! They cheer on “GO-TO-O!” but the “SA-NA-DA!” chants are still there. Red Shoes checks them both, and both men slowly rise.
The two crawl towards each other, and Goto fires a forearm! Sanada shakes his head, eggs Goto on, so Goto throws another! Goto eggs Sanada on, so Sanada fires a forearm! Goto fires a forearm back, and the two stand. Sanada UPPERCUTS! Goto comes back to forearm! Sanada UPPERCUTS again, and Goto drops back to a knee! The fans rally, Goto stands again, and he forearms! UPPERCUT, forearm, repeat! Goto growls, fires a flurry of forearms, and he ROCKS Sanada! Sanada drops to his hand and knees but Goto powers up! Goto KICKS but Sanada blocks! Goto fires more forearms, then waistlocks, but Sandaa fights free!
Sanada runs, but Goto fireman’s carries! And he throws Sanada into the dragon sleeper! But Sanada turns around and suplexes, for MAGIC SCREW! Both men are down again and the fans fire back up! Sanada roars as he rises up, and he aims from a corner. Sanada wants Goto to get up, and Goto sits up, into the SHINING WIZARD! Sanada then dragon sleepers, for the SKULL END!! Goto endures, flails, reaches out, but he’s caught in the body scissors! Goto fights around but he’s fading! The fans rally, Goto’s hand drops! Sanada lets him go to then climb! ROUNDING BODY PRESS! Cover, TWO!!
The fans fire up as Goto survives but Sanada storms around. Sanada drags Goto up, reels him in and clinches, but Goto slips free to shove Sanada away! Sanada forearms, ROLLING- HEADBUTT from Goto! The fans fire up and duel, and Goto drags Sanada up. But Sanada breaks free! Goto HEADBUTTS again! Sanada falls back down and Goto steadies himself. Goto roars, the fans are with him, and Goto sits Sanada up. Goto runs to PENALTY KICK! Shoutout to Shibata and the fans fire up more! Sanada grits his teeth as he sits back up but Goto takes aim! BUZZSAW! And then he hauls Sanada up to dragon sleeper! G T- BACKSLIDE COUNTER! TWO!!!
Sanada and Goto hurry up, Sanada dodges to O’Conner BRIDGE!! TWO?!!? Goto escapes and shocks everyone! Sanada resets, runs in, SHINING WIZARD!! The fans are thunderous as Sanada roars and drags Goto back up! Clinch and DEAD- NO, Goto slips around to ripcord and fireman’s carry! G T W!! Cover, TWO?!?!? Sanada survives but Goto is all fired up! The fans are thunderous as Goto dragon sleepers for G T R!!! Cover, GOTO WINS!!!
Winner: Hirooki Goto, by pinfall (advances to the finals)
Don’t call it a comeback, Goto’s been here for years! Sanada’s hopes of being IWGP World Heavyweight Champion again have been delayed, how long must he wait for another chance?
As for Goto, he’s going back to the New Japan Cup Finals for the first time since 2016, and his seventh overall! But before he can get the mic to speak, Yota makes his way back out here. Yota steps into the ring and he gets the mic first. Yota tells Goto, “In order to open the door to a new era, we must do this.” The fans applaud that, and Yota continues by asking Goto, “Are you ready?!” Yota drops the mic at Goto’s feet, and Goto stands up to speak. “I also have something I want to show you. As a three-time New Japan Cup Champion, I will show you my strength.” The fans like the sound of that!
The Fierce Warrior stares down with Gene Blast, a true generational showdown on the horizon! Will Goto return not juts to former glory, but finally ascend to top of NJPW? Or will Yota make it LIJ VS LIJ for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship?
My Thoughts:
A great semifinal round for this tournament, with quite a surprising main event. Sanada VS Goto was great stuff, and while I felt Sanada wasn’t winning the Cup, I didn’t think he’d be out this round. Yota VS Evil was rather creatively put together, too. I did not think the House would get so involved that at first it was a No Contest but then they restart under a ringside ban. Takagi making sure Yota won was good stuff, too, maybe we can get Takagi VS Evil for the NEVER Openweight Championship if they’re not gonna circle back to more Shota Umino VS House of Torture stuff.
Goto VS Yota is going to be great stuff, and Goto is clearly a top utility guy. He’s had so many New Japan Cup finals appearances, certainly among the most ever, but I don’t think he gets a fourth Cup win against Yota, one of the “new era Musketeers” that NJPW clearly loves. Yota VS Naito is definitely the title match for Sakura Genesis.
My Score: 8.9/10
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