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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (8/14/22)

Fallout from Treasure Island 3!

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HPW News 2022

The landscape of HPW has been altered!

The gold was all over HPW Treasure Island 3, and we have some NEW champions to hear from! Will Arrow Club start the party already?

 

After the HPW Trios Championships match.

Ganondorf, Zant and Agahnim hobble into the back.

Zant and Agahnim are disappointed but Ganondorf is furious. He’s blaming Zant for that loss, since he tagged in and then got hit with the finish. But Zant angrily points out that they would’ve lost anyway because Ganondorf got hit with that big Grenade, too! Ganondorf gets angrier because Zant talked back but Agahnim tries to keep the team together. Zant and Ganondorf both tell Agahnim to shut up, and then Ganondorf pops Zant up to GANON BOMB him through the table! Ganondorf glares at Agahnim but he backs away and Ganondorf storms off. Is GZA already RIP in HPW?

Arrow Club walks backstage triumphantly.

Mack & Rick Quackson sing “Heeey~ we won the tiiitles! Heeey~ we won the tiiitles!” while dancing around a bit. Bad Croc Scaly holds up his belt with both hands like a banner, and Fin Balure greets them with applause. Fin congratulates them all on hitting their target. Arrow Club is golden, but there are still targets left to hit. The Ducks say that’s right, and then Rick asks who made the mess (broken table with Zant still down in the wreckage). Mack says, “I dunno, probably a bunch of losers.” Arrow Club shares a laugh then heads out, and we already know what their plan was to get those other titles.

 

After the Eventide Challenge.

Hilda hobbles in with Ravio’s help.

Her Grace doesn’t really lose with grace, she’s pouting and moping right now. Their plan with the golden balls was so good, why did it fail? Ravio tells her not to say that too loudly, but we all heard it. Hilda says their only way back now is the Hyrule Warriors match, but that’s such a hard match to win. Ravio says there is another title out there. Hilda thinks about that, and understands what he means.

Skull Kid storms in.

And he’s cussing up a storm from all the bleeps. He starts throwing water bottles, he kicks the table over, shakes the backdrop and lights, then headbutts a TV screen, cracking it! Skull Kid storms off, what will he do while in such a rage?

Hollywood ReDead and The UnderWorld Order walk in.

ReDead is holding up a bucket as he glares at the camera. “Ravio! You stupid little purple jackrabbit bastard! If I see even one ear of yours, I’m gonna rip it right off your head and shove it down your throat! You and your stupid balls got in the way!” Ted Beedle Ossi asks, “Wait, his balls?” “Yes, his golden balls that looked just like the prize! The NOID was violated, he should be fined!” Beedle agrees, they need to look into this, bring HPW Legal into it, and one way or another, Ravio will pay! Gomess also brings up that The Dark Forces are going to pay, but with blood, sweat and tears! uWo Gibdo nods, but how will HPW management look to handle all of this?

Cia and the Dark Forces walk in.

Just as the uWo were grumbling about them, the Dark Forces are grumbling about the uWo. “Those jerks thought they could void the NOID?” Cia says. “Guess not!” Wizzro tells the uWo to watch their backs, and Volga says they’re going to burn the UnderWorld Order down! Dark Forces Gibdo nods, will we see these factions collide in the ring again?

Groose walks in with Link.

The Skyfall Stud is singing Link’s praises, “OH~ Hero of Hy~rule! OH~ Hero of HyYYy~rule!” Groose then shifts to “LINK! LINK! LINK! LINK!” Link smiles a bit sheepishly as he and Groose get some water. Groose chugs, still in just his speedo. Groose lets out a loud satisfied sigh and then pats Link hard on the back. “Congrats on that huge win, buddy. That was a great match. And whoever wins this main event, you’re going right for ’em! If it’s Fin, you’ll have an awesome first-time match. You haven’t faced him before, right?” Link shakes his head no. And then there’s Link’s brother, Kage. If Kage wins, he and Link will have another 1v1 match. And…

Groose trails off, realizing that’s a bit of a sensitive subject. He coughs then drinks a bit more water. Link sighs, takes another sip himself, then heads off. Who was Link rooting for when watching the main event?

 

After the HPW Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge.

Tali and Shabonne storm in.

They’re both upset, and they keep saying, “Torbevito?!” with incredulous attitudes. Shabonne then asks while looking around, “How did that guppy get to the front of the line? There should’ve been wrestlers out the door wanting after The Dame of the Dunes! Or was everyone just too scared?” Tali asks, “Then what does that makes Torbevito? The bravest person in the world? Or just some crazy weirdo in a mask?” Shabonne can only say, “I don’t know, I don’t know.” But Shabonne does promise that if Torbevito got a second chance, then Tali will definitely get a rematch! Tali herself says, “Torbevito, you’re just a flavor of the month. And I’m gonna slap the taste out your damn mouth!”

Arrow Club returns again.

The Young Ducks sing a new version, “Heeey~ he won the tiiitles! Heeey~ he won the tiiitles!” as Torbevito walks in, victoriously holding up the Death Mountain Championship. Fin is there to welcome Torbevito to the club. Arrow Club grows stronger with another target taken down. Just one more to go tonight! Arrow Club strikes a group pose and heads out again so that Fin can prepare for the main event.

 

After the HPW Goddess Championship.

Veran walks in.

The Sorceress of Shadows is very thankful that HPW reached out to her a couple months ago. The Termina event and everything that built up to it was a great time, and the two matches with Zelda were incredible. She loves that pro-wrestling is helping the world come together in the spirit of competition. She hopes to see the fans out there again as the new chapter of her career continues. When and where will we see the former TCW Women’s Champion again?

Zelda walks in.

The Princess of Hyrule is a bit emotional as she walks in. She is honored to have faced Veran twice, but they are tied 1-1. If HPW wants to put it together, Zelda will gladly give Veran a tiebreaker third match. But then Hilda hobbles back in, Ravio still helping her walk. Hilda tells Zelda not to get ahead of herself. Zelda’s title reign may have lasted one year, seven months and 13 days, but it won’t last much longer. Ravio says, “Yeah! It’ll only last, uh, one year and 10 months!” Hilda tells Ravio to shut up, his math ruined her threat. But yes, Hilda wants her title shot at the next major HPW PPV. It doesn’t matter where or what day of the week, Hilda wants next!

Zelda says fine, they can take this to management and sort it out. “But considering I just took on a living legend, there’s no way someone who cheated their way to the Triforce Tournament Finals is going to take this title from me.” Zelda then pushes past Hilda and Hilda scowls. Will we see this match for Clash of Fates?

 

After the HPW Triforce & Termina Championships main event.

Arrow Club walks in again…

Bad Croc Scaly is propping up a barely conscious Fin with one arm while the Ducks protest. They can’t believe Kage drove Fin’s head into the belt! Completely uncalled for! A reporter points out that they introduced the belts as weapons into the situation. Mack says, “Yeah, well, that doesn’t excuse Kage using them!” Rick adds, “And what the heck did Link come out for? I thought he hated his brother.” Mack says no, Kage hates Link, but that should’ve also been a reason for him to not come out. Torbevito says it’s fine, they’re still a golden Arrow Club! Fin is still Termina Champion! He’ll just wait until he gets another chance! “Right, Fin?”

Fin doesn’t so much speak as he does gurgle and groan. The rest go, “Uh… Yeah!” Rick says, “He’s gonna kick the ass of whoever’s Triforce Champion! Just you wait and see!” Arrow Club heads out once more, but will the Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla really get another chance to become a double champion? Or will he just have to worry about defending the title he still has?

Kage tells Link to get out of his way.

The Hero’s Shadow is still HPW Triforce Champion after the fiasco caused by Arrow Club, but he’s not happy to have retained like that. “Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla, you coward. You weren’t going to beat me anyway, so I guess the joke’s on you! Hope it was worth having that belt’s faceplate permanently stamped on your forehead!” Kage then turns his attention back to his brother, Link. “And for you,” Kage says. “Mr. Eventide, huh? Can’t just stay away from the spotlight, huh? I’m going to make you regret it. Last year, you survived. This year, you won’t!” Kage then pushes past Link to take his leave.

The HPW reporter asks Link how he feels knowing that he will face off against Kage 1v1 one year later, just as Kage said. Link looks down at the ground, sighs, runs his hands through his hair, then walks off without a word. What will happen as the Hero of Hyrule and his blood brother clash once more?


My Thoughts:

What great developments here! GZA is the shortest lived faction in HPW history, as they ended up transitional champions just to check the Trios titles off in Ganondorf’s resumé, and Hilda is shifting gears from Triforce to Goddess Championship. The Arrow Club is errywhere, except the Women’s Division, so maybe someone joins them in the near future…? And there’s of course heat between Kage and Link, which will only get more intense as we approach that match. There’s big plans there for sure. And there is going to be an article coming up to explain what Dark Horse Stampede is about, so make sure to follow The Chairshot for that.


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Bandwagon Nerds #227: Superhero Madness- Part 1

Superhero Madness begins with first round battles in the Mutants & Genetics bracket, plus Invincible Season 2 returns with a bang!

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario

This week, the Nerds embark on one of their most ambitious projects yet….Superhero Madness. It’s BWN’s own version of March Madness as we have selected 64 of the greatest Marvel and DC heroes to grace the big and small screens in a colossal battle to determine just who is the greatest superhero of all-time. This week’s opening round matchups feature Mutants & Genetics, including some of our favorites such as Moon Knight, Namor, Ms. Marvel, Wolverine, and many others. Which heroes will mutate their way to the Round of 32? All that plus the Nerds resume their review of Season 2 of Invincible, can only speculate about a shocking firing at Marvel, and get rather excited about the Teen Titans getting a live-action movie.

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About Bandwagon Nerds

Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd, and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

About the Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

Featuring shows such as POD is WAR (sports, entertainment & sports entertainment) Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture), The DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect), The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling), The #Miranda Show (wrestling and entertainment), Hockey Talk (sports), Patrick O’Dowd’s 5×5 (pop culture), The Outsider’s Edge (wrestling), Down The Wire (Sports), Talk The Keki (Anime), The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, Attitude Of Aggression/The Big Four (wrestling), and more!


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Talk the Kēki: The Top 30 Anime of 2023 Part 1

It’s time for the final episode of Talk the Kēki! Mat and Ethan are once again joined by Starman and Chris as they start with their watchlist of 2024 and talk about the future of the show.

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 It’s time for the final episode of Talk the Kēki! Mat and Ethan are once again joined by Starman and Chris as they start with their watchlist of 2024 and talk about the future of the show. Then they’ll close it off with their Top 25 Anime of 2023 to finish the year off. What was their anime of the year? Tune in now!

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About the Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

Featuring shows such as POD is WAR (sports, entertainment & sports entertainment) Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture), The DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect), The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling), The #Miranda Show (wrestling and entertainment), Hockey Talk (sports), Patrick O’Dowd’s 5×5 (pop culture), The Outsider’s Edge (wrestling), Down The Wire (Sports), Talk The Keki (Anime), The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, Attitude Of Aggression/The Big Four (wrestling), and more!


The Chairshot Radio Network
Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts and radio shows!

All Shows On Demand

Listen on your favorite platform!

iTunes  |  iHeart Radio  |  Google Play  |  Spotify
Listen, like, subscribe, and share!


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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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