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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (9/30/22)

A closer look at Link VS Kage 2



HPW Link VS Kage

The duality of destiny is like a razor’s edge.

The Triforce Championship’s fiercest battle is but a month away, and to explore the layers of this match, HPW presents: Deep Dive.

How it started…

July 17th, 2021: HPW Skull Lake Slam Jam’s Eventide Challenge Battle Royal.

Wearing all black and a mask to match, the one known simply as Kage, Japanese for “Shadow,” made his debut alongside the Dark Forces. He surprisingly didn’t eliminate anyone, but he was pivotal in other eliminations to bring the field down to the final six, himself, Riju, Ghirahim, Midna, Master Stalfos, and Hilda.

August 18th, 2021: HPW Treasure Island 2.

Kage battled through the Eventide Challenge match, going from one end of the island to the other. He was seemingly Pounced out of the running by Master Stalfos, but returned like a boomerang at the end of a chaotic battle to claim the prize. On that same night, Link battled and defeated The Artist, Yuga, with help from Ganondorf in thwarting the cheating. Link retained the title and came face to face with Kage, only to come face to face with an exact double! No one understood what it meant, until…

Clash of Fates 2021.

A heated battle between Link and Kage only became more violent when Aryll came out and revealed the truth: they’re twin brothers, with Kage being kidnapped as a baby. The rage boiled over, Kage was disqualified and Link retained the title, but nothing was settled.

Fast forward past the Third Triforce Tournament Finals.

Though Ravio and Hilda worked together, Kage overcame them and won the right to challenge for the top title. However, Hollywood ReDead demanded his own spot in that fight, weaseled his way into it on May 1st, 2022, HPW ThunderStruck, and that set up a Spectacular Spectacle on Spectacle Rock! A Triple Threat main event, and that was all the difference! Kage became the NEW HPW Triforce Champion, pinning his own brother in the finish.


How it’s going…

HXS TV spots Link out with sister, Aryll, and Zelda.

On the evening of September 25th, they’re sitting at a table at an open air café. There are fans who recognize Link and Zelda, and the Hero and Princess of Hyrule are gracious enough to sign autographs and take a couple pictures. One fan asks about Clash of Fates. Zelda says she’s prepared for anything Hilda, and Ravio, have up their sleeves to continue the second year of her title reign. And what about Link? How is he feeling about facing his brother again? Link isn’t sure what to say, and Zelda says he’ll be ready. The fans move on and the three have their meal.

While they enjoy their meal, Zelda does ask Link how he’s feeling. She feels he really only lost the title because it was a Triple Threat. If it was 1v1 at Spectacle Rock, maybe Link would’ve retained. Link sighs and moves some of his food around on the plate. Aryll says it shouldn’t have come to this. They’re brothers! Why’re they fighting? Zelda says it’s because they both want the title. Aryll says that shouldn’t matter, because they’re brothers! Zelda doesn’t understand Aryll’s logic. They didn’t grow up together, how are they supposed to feel like brothers? Aryll pouts but stays quiet.

Link posts a video.

He sits in his room, on his bed. “Look, uh, I know I don’t talk much on television. I know many out there wonder why I don’t. Some are even upset I don’t. But, uh, I’m not sure what to tell you. I’m just not the best with words, I don’t really know what to say at times. So I’m very grateful to the fans out there who accept me as I am. That they let my actions speak for me and that’s enough. But I’m not making this video to try and explain myself, or to say thanks to anyone. This is because I finally know what I want to say right now, and I need to say it before the moment passes.

“For over a full year. Well, I guess for even longer than that when you think about it. But for me, it’s been about a year and a few months since my world was turned upside-down. Not from losing the Triforce championship. That was the year before that, I’m fine with it now. What I mean is, I learned I had a brother out there I never knew about. He calls himself ‘Kage.’ Or, maybe that’s the name that person who took him as a baby called him, I dunno. But he was taken from my family. It broke my parents’ hearts. And in a way, he really has been this shadow hanging over us this whole time. And now there’s a light being shined upon it because we’re both in HPW.

“Kage, you are HPW Triforce Champion. I am this year’s Mr. Eventide. We’re set for another championship match at Clash of Fates 3. That is something we can’t get around. But, you see, that’s where this gets complicated. It was last year at Clash of Fates that we even found out the truth. And ever since then, ever since October 31st, 2021, our sister has wanted us to be brothers. I don’t know what I want. What do you want, Kage? You denied it out loud, I denied it in my heart, but it’s the truth. We’re brothers. Win or lose, we’re blood.

“So if you want to be my brother, then I will accept you as my brother. I will welcome you with open arms, happy that our family is finally whole. But if you want to be my enemy, then I will treat you as my enemy. I will hurt you as my enemy. I will destroy you as my enemy! The choice is yours.”

My Thoughts:

This is publishing on September 30th, but I’ve been wanting to get this one out for quite a bit of time. I knew Clash of Fates 2022 would be about the rematch of Link VS Kage, and I wanted to give as much heat and emotion to this as possible. I’m still not sure I hit the mark I was aiming for. Part of that perhaps comes from this being all text. If this was a video, I feel like there’d be something more to it.

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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/1/22)

Get ready for New Year’s Eve!



HPW News 2022

The Celebration of Greatness is set!

With Fyter Feast sorting things out, we’re ready now for HyruleMania 3! Get ready for the who, what, where and when of the Celebration of Greatness!


HyruleMania 3: December 31st, 2022!

As is the tradition, this incredible event will close out the year on New Year’s Eve! And it’ll be in the Hyrule Great Forest, right in front of the Great Deku Tree!


Look at all the title matches!

For the HPW Death Mountain Championship:

Torbevito prepares to defend against FOUR opponents in the third-ever Death Mountain Championship Ladder Match! The Son of the Whirlpool will have a Desert Flower, the Twilight Princess, the Living Blade, and the God of Woodfall. Two years in a row, a new champion has been crowned through this match. Will history repeat itself? Or will Torbevito find a way to break the streak and survive into the new year?

For the HPW Trios Championships:

After making it through the massive Three By Four match, it will be the Dames of the Dunes taking on the Arrow Club’s Bad Croc Scaly & The Young Ducks! Tali, Buliara & Riju want revenge for the All or Nothing Quartet match, but the Arrow Club says if they beat ’em once, they can beat ’em again! Will the Celebration of Greatness become a #SuperQUACKParty? Or will the Gerudo Alliance bring home gold?

For the HPW Termina Championship:

The Arrow Club took a lot from the Gerudo Ace, but he looks to take something back from them. Ganondorf may not be all that humble, but he looks to humble Fin Balure while becoming HPW’s first Triple Crown Champion! Will history be made to close out the year?

For the HPW Goddess Championship:

It is an epic tiebreaker between Princess of Hyrule and Sorceress of Shadows! Veran is the only person to have pinned Zelda in the almost two YEARS she’s been champion, but then lost in the rematch. Now we have the trilogy aligning with the Celebration of Greatness, where we will see who is truly the greatest in the Women’s Division! Will Zelda continue this reign of dominance? Or will Veran return to her former glory?

And of course, for the HPW Triforce Championship:

The Hero’s Shadow shed blood, sweat and tears, and even drew blood from his brother, Link, to keep this title. He has proven ruthless in the ring, but he might be facing the only person who can match him. Igos du Ikana is cold and heartless, and not just because he’s a skeleton. He has held the TCW Championship, the predecessor of the Termina Champion, which Igos helped introduce to HPW. Now he aims for Kage’s throne. Fiery rage colliding with cold-blooded calculation, something has to give.


G͘̕͢҉U͝E̸̡̢S͏͘S͢ ̵̴͘͡W͜H̡҉͏Ó̀

Guess Who, part 1

I̶’̷d̵͡ ̢̀I̷̢̧’͜͢͢d̸́ I’d say your c҉h̷͜͞a͝҉͟  chances ą͡r̵͟͜e͏̵̨̛͢ are a million to none!
But let’s have f̢͠u̢͟ņ f̢͘u͘҉n̵ fun anyway!

HyruleProWrestlingFaction FacesofEvilGIF


But wait, there’s more!

Humpback Hook Halibut releases a statement.

“After the brawling that persist after Fyter Feast’s main event, there is a lot of tension in the men’s locker room that we cannot allow to continue. Firstly, the issue of the Dark Forces and the UnderWorld Order. It is clear all of the faction members being present is a recipe for disaster, so we must limit this to a one-on-one match. This will be Gibdo VS Gibdo to name the one and only Gibdo in HPW! There will be a ringside ban on all other members between the Dark Forces and uWo, or else there will be indefinite suspensions. This is your only warning.

“As for the other brawl between Groose and Skull Kid… That shall be handled in its own way. There will still be a ringside ban, and this will apply to Tingle and Ladrona as Groose’s tag partners. But more than a ringside ban, this will be settled with something very special for HyruleMania: Hair VS Mask! If Groose loses, his pointy red pompadour will be buzzed off his head. But if Skull Kid loses, he must stop wearing that strange, heart-shaped mask. There will be no count outs and no disqualifications, there must be a winner inside that ring! And I wish them both the best of luck.”

HUGE grudge matches made for the Celebration of Greatness! Who will be the Gibdo of All Gibdos? Will Groose end up a bald eagle? Or will Skull Kid be forced to show his face?

My Thoughts:

I may be wasting a lot of good match intro ideas with this article, but as I needed to announce the grudge matches that are going to fill out the card, I figured I should also hype up the established matches. And if you’re wondering about that “Guess Who/Face your FOE” thing, just wait and see. And yes maybe it is a bit Bray Wyatt White Rabbit but whatever, I’ve already copied a lot of other stuff from wrestling in the real world.

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New Force Order – A Star Wars Podcast: Rip Don Winkle

Is Yoda legitimately dyslexic? That and many more hard hitting questions answered on this edition of New Force Order!



New Force Order Episode 170

Is Yoda legitimately dyslexic? That and many more hard hitting questions answered on this edition of New Force Order!

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Spiro went back to Exegol so it’s just a drunk Doc and a sleepy GGP tonight. We go in depth to break down the Disney+ Tales of the Jedi series. The acolyte begins filming and KK has a ball gag shoved into her mouth about announcing new films. Is Lost writer Damon Lindelof headed to Star Wars? Is Yoda legitimately dyslexic? Filoni compares the new Ashoka series to a classic Japanese movie. On who’s more over it’s a master/apprentice battle! Count Dooku and Qui Gon Jinn vs Darth Maul and Darth Sidious. Which duo is more over and why!?

All this and more on this weeks NFO episode! As usual email us at

About the New Force Order

A Star Wars Podcast by the fans and for the fans. GGP, Doc and Spiro deliver a in-depth weekly news and review show on all stars wars related content.

About the Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

Featuring shows such as Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture), The DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect), The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling), The #Miranda Show (wrestling and entertainment), Chairshot Radio Hockey Talk, Patrick O’Dowd’s Chairshot Radio 5×5 (pop culture), PC Tunney’s Chairshot Bets (Sports), Down The Wire (Sports), Lucha Central Weekly (wrestling & lucha libre), Talk The Keki (Anime), The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, and more!

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New Force Order Episode 170

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