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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (10/10/22)

Are you ready?

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on

WWE Raw 2022

No, no, I said… ARE! YOU! READYYYY!?

It’s the Raw Season Premiere, and WWE celebrates 25 YEARS of Degeneration X! Plus, The Tribal Chief leads his Bloodline as he prepares to SMASH Logan Paul at Crown Jewel!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Johnny Gargano VS Austin Theory; Gargano wins.
  • Rey Mysterio VS Chad Gable w/ Otis; Rey wins.
  • Bayley VS Candice LeRae; Candice wins.
  • 2v1 Handicap: Omos w/ MVP VS Robert Adams & Joseph Torres; Omos wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: Bobby Lashley VS Seth Rollins; Rollins wins and becomes the new WWE United States Champion.
  • Sami Zayn w/ The Usos VS Matt Riddle; Riddle wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Degeneration X talks backstage.

HBK is with Road Dogg and X-Pac, and he asks them, “Are you ready?” Road Dogg is ready, is X-Pac ready? Yeah, X-Pac is ready. But the big question, is HHH ready? Oh, whoa, hold on. He gets off gorilla and says this isn’t just their 25th anniversary, but the season premiere of Raw. They can’t do their stuff anymore, this is about the sponsors and the business. They can go have fun, but no cussing, no genital jokes- PENIS! Can they say that? That’s what HHH means! Yeah, wtf, man? Bro! C’mon! HBK says HHH knows how this is gonna go. Sh*t’s gonna go down, it’s gonna get effin crazy! Enjoy it right the F now! Alright, alright! Just don’t F up.

HBK says he sees four cocks! They’re just chickens. HHH says we can’t do that anymore! Who put those there? Just grab a cock and- Nevermind, let’s go. Hey! No fighting! Damn it. HHH stops choking the chicken as he slams it, but will DX be okay without him out there with them?

 

The Bloodline is here!

To be fair, they were here last week. But this time, because it’s the Raw Season Premiere, they’re led by the Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the Undisputed WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion, Roman Reigns! Roman and the Usos hold up the belts for the pyro and then the Bloodline continues to the ring. They then set up again, lifting the belts for the second round of pyro. Sami Zayn jams out to the theme song as Paul Heyman gets the mic. Fans boo Roman then chant for the Honorary Uce, but Heyman hands the mic to Roman. “Brooklyn, New York! ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” Fans do indeed cheer, but there are still some boos.

Roman says when the fans respond like that, he can’t lie, he has to be honest. Roman likes moving forward. When you’re the Greatest Of All Time, he’s looking to next week, he doesn’t live in the past. But Roman can’t get past last Friday for some reason. That brings Roman to something his father taught him a long time ago. Roman was taught “that the loudest in the room is also the weakest in the room.” So in his mind, if you’re the weakest, and you’re part of The Bloodline, then you’re just a fool. “Jey. Are you a fool?” Roman looks at Jey, who did shoot his mouth off at Logan Paul last week. Roman says they’ve done this a few times already, but-

Sami Zayn steps in! He hates to interrupt but… Heyman is furious! How can Sami interrupt the Tribal Chief?! But the fans are fired up, and Roman has Heyman stand down. Heyman apologizes and Sami continues. “It’s just that on Friday, you said that Jey Uso wasn’t your problem anymore, but that he’s my problem now. So as maybe the Honorary Uce, I’d love the opportunity to handle this whole situation.” Roman considers it, and smiles. Sami really is the Honorary Uce! He’s all yours, Sami, go ahead. Well okay! Roman steps aside and fans cheer Sami on as he looks at Jey. Here’s the thing, buddy. First off, we all love you. This is your family.

But the Tribal Chief and Sami were talking the other night, spit-balling about the future direction of the Bloodline, just some ideas. A really good talk, too, actually. They got into some personal stuff, Sami feels they connected. But anyway, that’s not important. The thing is, they feel Jey’s behavior lately, “Just hasn’t been very Uce-y.” What? Fans chant, “UCEY! UCEY!” Sami wants Jey to hear him out. Take a look around! Look at Jimmy! Who doesn’t love Jimmy? Fans cheer as Sami and Jimmy do the handshake! Look at that smile! And Solo! Look at him! Fans cheer for the Enforcer. He’s built like a brickhouse, looks all serious, but we all know he’s cool.

Sami says that’s kinda what he’s getting at. We’re all pretty cool, actually. So they just need Jey “to be cool.” Can he be cool? Jey looks at Roman and Roman says, “Don’t look at me.” But Jey still address Roman, “This is a joke, right?” Is this a rib? They’re family, Uce. Ain’t no way they can let Sami come here and tell Jey what to do! Sami says he hates to be this guy, but- “Bro…” Matt Riddle is headed out here? Riddle has a mic to say, “Why you guys talking about last Friday? You guys should be talking about this past Saturday, when I not only beat Seth Rollins, I tapped him out in the Fight Pit, bro!”

And Roman, Riddle knows he got beat before and there’s that stipulation where he can’t challenge for the title, but c’mon! One more time for New York! Let’s go! Brooklyn likes the sound of that! “BRO! BRO! BRO!” Roman and Heyman talk it over but Riddle says the people want it. Roman asks, “Brooklyn, should we give him one more chance tonight?” “YES!” Roman says, “Nah…!” A deal is a deal, bro! Get to the back of the line and stay there! Well then, if Roman’s not gonna step up to the plate, maybe one of his Bloodline bros will! Fans cheer for Sami here, and Jey agrees! Step up, Honorary Uce! Ain’t he the number 2 now? Step up! YEET!

Sami says yeah, yeet. He’ll yeet, dawg. Sami tells Riddle, “What is this? Do you think you’re funny or something?” “YEET.” Well okay, haha. But let’s explain something to Riddle. Riddle doesn’t say “Yeet.” THEY say YEET! YEET IS BLOODLINE! That’s their thing! Solo, Jey, Jimmy, Roman, uh… Yes, Heyman, too! And Sami! They can say YEET, but Sami doesn’t wanna hear Riddle ever say it again! Got it? Fans chant “YEET! YEET!” and Riddle says, “YEET.” Jey says that’s disrespect! What’s Sami gonna do? Is he gonna handle business? YES! He will! Sami says if Riddle wants ot run his mouth, then they can go 1v1 here tonight! Fans like the sound of that!

So what’s the tough guy gotta say about that?! “I accept. YEET!” Riddle still gets a fight with The Bloodline, but not quite the one he wanted. Will Riddle keep the momentum going from Extreme Rules? Or will the Honorary Uce handle his business and kick Riddle to the back of the back of the line?

 

Johnny Gargano VS Austin Theory!

Johnny Wrestling once showed the “Real Superstar” the way in the WWE, but the influence of a certain chairman inflated the ego of the now Youngest Mr. Money in the Bank Ever. Will Gargano humble his former protégé and once again show him the way? Or will the student become the master?

The bell rings and Theory rushes in to fireman’s carry! Gargano slips off and shows Superkick, which makes Theory fall back! Gargano rains down fists on Theory, Theory fights free but Gargano pursues to CHOP! And CHOP! Theory goes to a corner, Gargano CHOPS him again! Gargano follows Theory but Theory kicks low! Theory throws hands but Gargano dodges to CHOP again! Fans rally for “JOHNNY WRESTLING!” as Gargano stomps a mudhole into Theory. Fans fire up, Gargano storms back in to CHOP! Gargano whips corner to corner, Theory reverses but Gargano BOOTS back! Gargano goes up to FLYING RANA!

Theory staggers up, swings but misses, into the Schoolboy KICK! Theory bails out and Gargano brings him up. Theory grabs at Gargano but Gargano ROCKS Theory! And again! And again! Theory wobbles, Gargano slingshots, but Theory blocks the DDT! Theory fisherman’s the leg, APRON AOI SHOUDO! Gargano goes down and Raw goes to break!

Gargano writhes, Theory looms over him, the ring count climbs but Theory just leaves Gargano behind. Theory gets in at 6 of 10, Gargano stands at 8 but jumps in at 9! Theory rains down fists, then he TOSSES Gargano back out. Gargano crawls, Theory stalks him, and THROWS him into barriers! Theory drags Gargano up to THROW him into the timekeeper’s area! Theory sits on the barriers to take a selfie before going into the ring. Gargano stirs at 5 of 10, crawls his way around at 7, and hurries in at 9! Theory scoops Gargano for a BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Theory wraps on a chinlock and he grinds Gargano down.

Gargano endures, fans rally up, and Gargano fights up to throw body shots. Gargano runs, but into a BIG elbow! Theory struts over to stand over Gargano. Theory drags Gargano up, snapmares him and stomps him down! Cover, TWO! Theory sits Gargano up to wrap on a chinlock again. Theory grinds Gargano down, but Gargano fights up to throw body shots. Theory knees low! And CLUBS Gargano down! Theory suplexes, Gargano slips out and he ROCKS Theory with forearm after forearm! Gargano runs, into a BOOT! But he comes back with a ROLLING ELBOW! Both men are down as Raw returns to single picture!

Fans rally as a standing count starts. Theory and Gargano stand, Gargano throws big forearms! Gargano whips, Theory reverses but Gargano CROSSBODIES! And then he clotheslines and ENZIGURIS! Theory goes to a corner, Gargano DOUBLE KNEES him! Gargano goes corner to corner but Theory puts him on the apron. Gargano SLINGSHOT SPEARS! Cover, TWO! Theory bails out, Gargano builds speed, but Theory slide sin. Gargano hurries back to the apron, SLINGSHOT into a FOREARM! Theory hurries to pump handle COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, TWO!! Theory is furious but Gargano is still in this!

Theory says he has surpassed Gargano, and he rains down fists. Theory drags Gargano up, ROCKS him again, then storms up. Gargano ROCKS Theory and fans rally, but Theory ROCKS Gargano back. Gargano ROCKS Theory, they both throw forearms! And again! Gargano fakes Theory out, mule kick! But Theory ducks the Buzzsaw to fireman’s carry! A-TOWN, NO! Schoolboy, but Theory ducks the kick! Theory steals the GargaNO Escape!! Gargano endures, rolls it to a cover, TWO!! Gargano dodges Theory, tilt-o-whirl takedown! GargaNO Escape!! Gargano has Theory now, Theory endures, but he rolls it around and scoops Gargano!

Theory shakes his head, pops Gargano up, but Gargano slips off! Theory SUPERKICKS first! Theory is fuming, he rains down fists and shouts, “I told you! I am the man!” Fans boo as Theory aims from the apron. Theory slingshots, but into a SUPERKICK! Gargano sends Theory out of the ring! Fans fire up as Gargano DIVES for a TORNADO DDT!! Gargano puts Theory back in, drags himself up to the apron, and he slingshots again, ONE FINAL BEAT!! Cover, Gargano wins!!

Winner: Johnny Gargano, by pinfall

And that’s the way to do it! Johnny Wrestling gets another great win in Brooklyn, will Gargano get a golden opportunity soon enough?

 

Rey Mysterio VS Chad Gable w/ Otis!

The King of Lucha is doing his best to move on from Dominik Mysterio leaving his side, throwing hate his way, and sticking with The Judgement Day. Can Rey put the pieces back together? Or will The Alpha Academy pick him apart like vultures?

The bell rings and Rey circles with Gable. They tie up, Gable waistlocks, spins, wrenches and wristlocks. Rey wrenches, wristlocks, but Gable spins through to headlock, spin and drop toehold! “A THANK YEW~!” Gable has the armlock then shifts to a headlock. Rey throws body shots, powers out, but Gable runs him over! “A THANK YEW~!” Gable and Rey speed up, Gable body scissors to roll and clutch, TWO! Gable hits a headlock takeover and he grinds Rey down. Rey endures, fights up, but Gable wrenches. Gable whips but Rey KICKS him! Rey runs, dodges Gable, then dodges again to RANA! Gable tumbles out and fans fire up!

Gable and Otis regroup but Rey runs in to dropkick Gable down! Rey builds speed to slide and SUNSET BOMB Gable into barriers! Fans fire up for Rey but oh no! Here comes the Judgement Day! Rhea Ripley & Dominik Mysterio walk out on stage, and Rhea wears a mocking “tribute armband” for Beth Phoenix! They’re already in Rey’s head, will Rhea & Dom do something to him? We’ll see, after the break.

Raw returns and Gable has Rey up top! Rey fights Gable off and knocks him down, to then SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps moving, he tilt-o-whirl headscissors! Gable goes to a corner, Rey runs in but Gable dodges. Rey goes up, jumps back but Gable catches Rey to an Electric Chair and SLAM! Then a deadlift GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Rey escapes but Gable snarls. Gable drags Rey back up, waistlocks again but Rey elbows free. Rey runs, wheelbarrows, then victory rolls! But Gable rolls through to ANKLE LOCK! Rey flounders, reaches out, rolls and he kicks away at Gable! But Gable holds onto the hold!

Rey rolls and POSTS Gable! Gable flops out of the ring, and then Rey PLANCHAS, but Otis catches him! Otis pops Rey around, but Rey slips off to POST Otis! Rey stares down Dom & Rhea, then shoulders into Gable! Rey slingshots but Gable turns it into an Alabama, but Rey RANAS free! Gable is on the ropes, Rey dials it up, 619! SPLASH! Cover, Rey wins!

Winner: Rey Mysterio, by pinfall

A great rebound win for Rey, but now Dom & Rhea get on the apron. Rey shakes his head, but Dom dares him to do something. Rey refuses, but Rhea stands in Rey’s way. Rey turns back to Dom, and Dom wants Rey to hit him! Rey pushes and shoves Rey! “You gotta hit me! It’s gotta be now!” Rey refuses, and he puts his hands behind his back. So Dom SLAPS Rey! Dom wants Rey to hit him back! Rhea laughs as she watches Rey’s torment. Dom drops to his knees, Rey runs, but past Dom to DECK Priest! Rey knew the rest of Judgement Day was coming! Rey dodges Finn and tilt-o-whirls him into Dom! Rey DROPKICKS Priest, then drop toeholds Finn onto ropes!

Fans fire up and Rey dials it up, but Dom CLOBBERS Rey!! Fans boo Dom but he doesn’t care. Dom looms over his own father, and still dares him to hit back! Fans chant, “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” at Dom, but Rey refuses to fight his son. Rey asks Dom, “Why? Why, Dom?!” Dom says it has to happen! It has to happen!! Rey doesn’t understand, but he’s in tears as he turns away. So Dom CLOBBERS Rey! Rhea holds Rey on the ropes and Dom gives some Latino Heat. Dom dials it up, to 619!! Dom hits his father with his own signature move that he passed down to Dom! Is there no low the Judgement Day won’t stoop to?

 

Raw returns to The Judgement Day in the ring.

After all the damage Dom had done to him physically and emotionally, Rey was left in tears as he clutched his battered body. But Rhea laughs as she has the mic. “Like I’ve said every single week since you peasants can’t get it through your thick skulls… The Judgement Day: we RUN Monday Night Raw!” Priest laughs because the fans hate to hear the truth! Every single person that steps to the Judgement Day falls! All the way, the Judgement Day continues to rise. But y’know what? Let’s talk about something more important: Finn Balor handled business at Extreme Rules! Finn says, “Like I’ve said before, when you come at Finn, you best not miss.”

“So to all the people who were cheering and partying and celebrating Edge’s miracle return to the ring after a nine year absence, here’s the cold hard truth: I ended the party. I stopped the celebration. I’m the one who pissed on y’all’s parade!” Finn made Edge say the words, “I QUIT!” Yes! Finn made Edge say those words! Hey, Dom, what’d Edge say? “Edge said, ‘I quit.'” Hey, Priest. What’d he make Edge do? Finn made Edge quit! That’s right! And do you know why? Because Balor is too legit to quit! And y’know what? Have you seen it? Let’s watch it! A replay package shows Finn VS Edge in their I Quit match, but in the end, Finn wasn’t alone! Though, neither was Edge!

Rey tried to help Edge beat Finn but Dom beat down Rey. Beth Phoenix tried to help her husband, Edge, but Rhea Ripley knocked her out with BRASS KNUCKLES! And when Edge still refused, the Judgement Day threatened Beth! Edge said those two dreaded words, giving Finn the win. But then Rhea showed no mercy and still hit Beth with a Con-Chair-To!! “You taught us too well!” Back in the present, The Judgement Day is smiling but the fans are booing. Rhea says that brings a tear to her eye. “The Glamazon, Beth Phoenix. Hah! What a joke! Beth, what I did to you was just a glimpse of what I’m capable of.”

Dom says watching Rhea in action, well, y’know… Fans boo but Finn tells them to shut up! They’re all just jealous anyway! Dom says watching Rhea in action, smacking Edge’s wife with that chair, “did it for me. And I know that it did it for all of you as well.” And Dom’s favorite part, other than 619’ing his own dad, was seeing the pathetic and devastated look on Rey’s face. Rey deserves to feel as useless and as helpless as he’s made Dom feel his entire life! Finn pats Dom on the shoulder and says that’s right. Which brings us to “Uncle Alan Styles.” Finn tells AJ that he better have reconsidered things, because Finn has all but run out of mercy.

Finn is here tonight to offer an ultimatum. Styles- APPEARS! Styles has a mic to say, “Finn, as long as we’ve known each other, it’s come down to this? An ultimatum?” Finn says Styles has made this harder than it needed to be. Finn, hold on. Styles isn’t here to argue. Oh? Styles says Finn is right. Everything that he ever needed was standing right in front of him. Styles has been alone for far too long. There comes a time in a man’s life when he needs friends. In Styles’ case, he needs family! So for the first time since they met in Japan to right here now in the WWE, is Styles not his brother’s keeper? Styles kneels before Finn!?

Fans boo but Finn offers a hand. Styles takes it and he stands back up. They hug! The Phenomenal One is now in the Judgment Day?! Finn is so proud! He knew Styles would come around. But then Styles says, “I wasn’t talking about you.” WHAT!?! WHAT?!?! The GOOD BROTHERS, Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows, are BACK!! Finn is freaking out as The Machine Gun and Big Doc LG are here, and Brooklyn is losing their minds! Finn says this is BS, and Dom says this is a big mistake! But Gallows DECKS Dom! The brawl is on! Styles is after Finn, Gallows has Priest and Anderson has Dom! Rhea BOOTS Anderson, but Gallows clotheslines Priest out!

Finn and Styles are alone, having it out in the ring! Priest sends Gallows into steps, Anderson ROCKS Dom, Styles fires off the Blitz! Finn bails out and wants a timeout, but Styles TACKLES Finn over the desk! Gallows SMACKS Priest with a chair! Anderson DECKS Dom! Brooklyn is loving this as Gallows DECKS Priest over the barriers! Things spill out to the crowd but the Judgement Day slips away! All except Finn. Finn sees he’s surrounded, he runs for it! He slips away but it is clear the OC is back!

 

Byron Saxton has a sit-down interview with Bayley.

The Role Model is NOT Raw Women’s Champion, and Byron asks her if she considers what happened at Extreme Rules to be “a setback in Damage Control’s plan to take control of the Women’s Division?” Dakota Kai & Iyo Sky are there, and Kai handles this. “Setback? You wanna talk about setbacks, why do you think Bayley brought me with her to SummerSlam?” Kai was at rock bottom, and Bayley was the only one to extend a hand. Dakota dares, hopes and prays that anyone tries to do anything to hurt DMG CTRL, because Dakota will do anything to hurt them. Can anyone say the same about Asuka, Alexa Bliss or Bianca Belair?

Iyo says something in Japanese and Kai agrees. “These women have no idea what Iyo and I would do for Bayley!” When Bayley gets her rematch, they will punish Bianca until Bayley is holding the gold! Iyo does not like Bianca, Asuka or Alexa! Bayley is going to kick Candice LeRae’s ass and nothing will stop her! DMG CTRL heads out, will the Poison Pixie be punished for The EST simply defending her title?

 

Roman Reigns, Paul Heyman & Solo Sikoa are heading out.

Roman says that was pretty good, and Heyman agrees. But Jey asks what’s going on. Where’re they going? Jey wants to talk to him about tonight. Roman says he doesn’t have time for that. The Wise Man got them set up in a pad tonight and they’re gonna do New York! But the Usos are staying here with Sami. Wherever Sami is, Jey & Jimmy should be. In fact, since Jey will be here, he needs to make sure the Honorary Uce wins tonight. Can Jey do that? Yeet. Okay, then. Let’s go, Solo. No, no, Solo’s with Roman tonight. Oh… Heyman shrugs and gets in the SUV with Roman and Solo. They head out, will the Usos & Sami be alright on their own?

 

Bayley VS Candice LeRae!

The Role Model isn’t Raw Women’s Champion, but not for lack of trying. Kai & Sky did help her in the Ladder Match, but not even all three of them could stop the strongEST, fastEST, toughEST, and roughEST in the WWE. Will Bayley just take out all her frustrations on Candice Wrestling? Or will the Poison Pixie prove she’s deserving of her own opportunities?

The bell rings and the two circle. Bayley kicks low, CLUBS and ROCKS Candice, then RAMS her into a corner! Bayley stomps a mudhole, whips Candice to ropes, but Candice reverses. Bayley runs Candice over, covers, ONE! Bayley is upset already but she drags Candice up. Candice arm-drags free! And then arm-drags again! And drop toeholds! Bayley crawls but Candice dropkicks her down! Candice then runs to hit a NECK SNAPPER! Jackknife bridge, TWO! Candice drags Bayley up but Bayley throws body shots. Bayley throws Candice out to the apron, but Candice avoids the shoulder to KNEE low!

Bayley clutches ribs, Candice climbs up and MISSILE DROPKICKS! Bayley bails out but Candice keeps her focus as Raw goes picture in picture.

Bayley winces, still feeling every bit of the ladder match. Candice WRECKS her with a dropkick! Candice goes out to bring Bayley up and in, then hurries to cover, TWO! Bayley hurries to bail out again, and Candice goes out after her. But Bayley FLAPJACKS Candice into the post! Bayley puts Candice in then drags her to the corner. Bayley SLAMS the leg against the post! Candice clutches her knee but Bayley drags her to a cover, TWO! Bayley stomps Candice around, drags her onto the ropes, and CHOKES her! The ref counts, Bayley lets off, and Bayley mocks “Mama Wrestling.” Bayley stomps Candice then digs her boots in!

The ref counts, Bayley lets off, and Bayley soaks up the heat. Bayley puts Candice’s leg around the ropes to pull! The ref counts, Bayley lets off and she snap suplexes Candice down. Cover, TWO! Bayley drags Candice around to knee her in the back. Bayley shouts at fans, pushes Candice over and stomps away on the bad leg. Bayley drags Candice around by that leg, but Candice hops up to ENZIGURI the bad arm! Bayley staggers but Candice cradles! TWO! Bayley rushes in but into a roll-up! TWO! Candice ROCKS Bayley and Raw returns to single picture. Bayley comes back but Candice ROCKS her again and again!

Candice CHOPS and ROCKS over and over in the corner! Fans fire up as Candice fires off! The ref counts, Candice lets off and she back body blocks! Candice snapmares Bayley, to then step up SENTON! And then basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Candice shakes out the bad leg, fans rally up, and Candice drags Bayley up. Bayley RAMS Candice in a corner! But Candice BOOTS back! Candice hops up but Bayley shoves her down! Candice is in a Tree of Woe and Bayley tortures the legs! Bayley drags Candice out of the corner, KNEE-DT! And then a ROSE PLA- CRADLE?! Candice wins!!

Winners: Candice LeRae, by pinfall

Bayley is shocked and furious, but Candice gets away! Bayley couldn’t get redemption but Kai & Sky get revenge! They CLOBBER Candice, beat her down, and put her back in the ring! Iyo underhooks and lifts, Dakota SUPERKICKS Candice into the TIGER BACKBREAKER! Bayley and Sky stand on Candice, but here comes Bianca! She DECKS Kai but Bayley BOOTS her! Bayley sets Bianca up, DROPKICK BOOT SANDWICH on the apron! And then Bayley hits a RUNNING KNEE on Candice! Fans boo but DMG CTRL stands tall. Kai & Sky bring Bianca around, Bayley hits a MACHO ELBOW on Bianca on the belt!

Fans boo even more, but DMG CTRL stands tall and Bayley shouts, “This is what a real damn team looks like!” Will these three soon control the Raw Women’s Division?

 

The Miz meets up with Maryse backstage.

O M G she looks incredible. But this can’t be a good idea, right? They both know “He Who Shall Not Be Named” is going to show, right? Maryse has Miz calm down. They can’t let some lunatic ruin his party after Maryse worked on it for many months. And here’s a little something. Oh, his first gift of the night! He opens it up, and it’s a Louisville Slugger! They both kiss, but will Miz’s bad feeling become a reality?

 

Raw returns to Maryse in the ring.

“Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is such a special night because we get to celebrate the birthday of my husband. So please help me welcome The Awesome One, The Miz!” The Hollywood A-Lister makes his entrance, showing off his brand new baseball bat, and he joins Maryse in the ring. There’s gold and silver balloons and presents, and even a Miz ice sculpture! Miz tells Maryse she outdid herself! She spent so much money! Do you know how expensive ice sculpture is? Or how expensive that bat is? Read it! It’s signed by the best deep ball hitter ever! Cleveland’s Jose Ramirez! Oh, sorry, did you expect him to say Aaron Judge?

You New Yorkers love Judge! You think he’s the best in MLB! Well here’s something Miz will explain to you: If you think having the best player in the league is enough to win championships, here’s two words for you: KEVIN DURANT. The fans boo but Maryse says to ignore them. Miz, open a gift. Any gift? Yes, any gift! He unveils the MASSIVE BALLS! O M G, this is perfect! Two massive Miz balls to go with his big giant bat! He loves them! He wants more gifts! Yes, go with the big one next! Sweet! Which one is the big one? Hold his bat. There, the middle. Fans taunt Miz for his “TINY BALLS! TINY BALLS!”

Miz tunes them out and pick sup the box. Wow, it’s heavy. IT HAS LUMIS’ HEAD!!! Miz sees Lumis, then puts the box back on! To then BASH away on the boxes!! But Miz missed Lumis every time! Then where is he?! Lumis slithers in from the other direction! And he wraps Miz in the SILENCE!! Maryse tries to save Miz but he almost kicks her into the cake! Maryse gets back, up but then he DOES kick her into the cake! Miz flails, slips free, and RUNS! He just leaves Maryse behind!? Maryse cleans herself up but Lumis looks right at her! Maryse turns around, and then she bails out! Maryse storms off, and Lumis grabs a knife!

Lumis goes over to the big balls, and POPS THEM! And then fans chant, “EAT THE CAKE!” Lumis cuts himself a slice, and has some cake! Is it good? More importantly, will we ever understand why Lumis is after The Miz?

 

DX talk with some local talent backstage.

What’re these guys’ names? Joey Ace and Chico! Well, okay. Get those biceps going, keep the blood flowing. Go out there and give it to Omos! There’s two of you, one of him, you’ve got this! Go, boys, go! Haze & Chico head out and HBK admits, those two are dead. But then Miz storms in and asks where HHH went! Miz is so sick of that lunatic! Look what he did to his massive… gifts! Can DX get some cake? Are you serious?! HBK says Lumis may not be a Marine, but he’s a good guy. He doesn’t just go after anyone. Miz had to do something to anger him. Miz did nothing to this guy! NOTHING! But Miz will do anything to get rid of him

Oh, anything? Yes, anything! Well then… Next week, Miz VS Lumis, 1v1! If Miz wins, Lumis is gone forever. But if Miz loses, Lumis gets those enormous gifts. And also a contract with WWE. But still. Does Miz have the balls? Oh, it’s on! Oooh~! Okay! Wait, since when did Road Dogg become a booker? He’s pretty sure he can do that. Will HHH approve of this high stakes showdown?

 

2v1 Handicap: Omos w/ MVP VS Robert Adams & Joseph Torres!

The Nigerian Giant comes to Brooklyn, will he storm through it like Godzilla? Or will “Chico” and “Joey Ace” manage to bring the monster down with DX’s encouragement?

The bell rings and Omos BOOTS Ace! Chico is stunned, then tries to run! Omos drags him back into the ring, scoops him, and gives him SNAKE EYES! Omos runs to CLOBBER Chico! MVP says, “Let ’em know!” Omos suplexes Ace and holds him up with one arm, before the TOSS! MVP cheers Omos on and Omos grabs Ace. Chico jumps on but Omos just CLOBBERS Ace all the same! And then he RAMS Chico in the other corner, before he CLOBBERS Ace again! Double choke grips, DOUBLE CHOKE SLAMS!! Omos snarls and he stands on Chico to pin, Omos wins!

Winner: Omos, by pinfall

MVP raises Omos’ hand in victory, but the devastation isn’t over! MOUNTAINTOP SLAM for Ace! MOUNTAINTOP SLAM for Chico! MVP says that’s good, and they head out. Will Omos leave nothing but destruction in his wake as he heads back towards a title?

 

WWE United States Championship: Bobby Lashley VS Seth Rollins!

The All Mighty technically owes Matt Riddle for helping him keep this title after The Visionary tried to steal it away. But after an ambush attack last week, Lashley is more than willing to give Rollins another shot if it means another chance for Lashley to put the Hurt Lock on Rollins. Will Rollins even be up to this title fight after the brutality that was unleashed inside the Fight Pit?

Before the match, Lashley gets the mic. “Brooklyn! I say this every week: I’m gonna be a fighting champion for all of you! And at this point, I’ve beaten some of the best of this business. I’ve been names like Drew McIntyre, Roman Reigns, Brock Lesnar, and now I have Seth Rollins who thinks that’s okay to come and sneak me because he didn’t feel he had a fair shot at my United States Championship-” WAIT. That’s not Rollins! That’s BROCK LESNAR!! The Beast is in Brooklyn and fans are going nuts! Lesnar has his pyro, he goes to the ring, and after getting the fans pumped up, he grabs the mic and stares down Lashley.

“Well holy SH*T! Good evening, Brooklyn. And good evening, Bobby Lashley.” FIREMAN’S CARRY! F5!!! Fans lose their minds again as The Beast just levels the All Mighty! Fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” and Lesnar obliges! Waistlock and GERMAN SUPLEX! And then another fireman’s carry, for another F5!! Fans still want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Lashley manages to sit up, and Lesnar just picks him up! For a KIMURA!!! Lashley flails but not even tapping out would save him since this isn’t a match! Lesnar lets go once the damage is done, and he takes his leave. The Beast is back, but what about the US title match?

 

Raw returns as refs check Lashley.

They want him to go to the back to get checked by medical, but Seth Rollins makes his entrance! Rollins is beaten and battered, too, so he must think this is fair and square now! Rollins wants Lashley to get in but the refs are saying Lashley shouldn’t. Rollins wants his fight NOW, and dares Lashley to get in here! Fans sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHHH~!” as Rollins keeps demanding a fight. Lashley clutches the arm and Rollins gets the mic. “HEY! I know you can hear me! You’re not gonna get outta this title match that easy! Bobby, I want the match, and I want it right now! You said you were a fighting champion!”

Isn’t Lashley a fighter? Isn’t he a champion? Isn’t he a soldier?! But he’s not! He’s a DISGRACE to the US title! And to his country! Lashley’s pissed now! Lashley storms up to the ring, even with one good arm, and he pops it back into place! The refs keep telling him now, but Lashley tells them to ring the damn bell! Well, then here goes!

WWE United States Championship: Bobby Lashley VS Seth Rollins!

The bell rings, and Lashley SPEARS into a PEDIGREE!! Cover, TWO!!! Rollins hurries up top while Lashley’s still down! FROG SPLASH!! The bad ribs slow Rollins down, Rollins manages to cover, TWO!! Both men writhe in pain from their damaged bodies, but Rollins manages to stand up first. Rollins lines up his shot, runs in from the corner, CURB- NO, Lashley dodges! Lashley runs to SPEAR!! But Lashley can’t cover from the pain in his bad arm! Rollins flounders from the pain in his ribs, but he stands up, into a half nelson! But the bad arm keeps the full nelson from finishing! Rollins CLUBS away on the bad arm, then he ROLLING ELBOWS!

Lashley wobbles, into a SUPERKICK! Rollins spins, DREAM SMASHER ELBOW! Rollins runs and PENALTY KICKS the bad arm! Rollins aims from the corner again, he runs in and CURB STOMPS!! Fans are torn but fired up as Rollins revels in it all! “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” Rollins tells Lashley to get up again, and then he runs in to CURB STOMP AGAIN!!! Cover, Rollins wins!

Winner: Seth Rollins, by pinfall (NEW WWE United States Champion)

Brock Lesnar did the damage, but Seth Freakin’ Rollins takes the gold! Will Lashley look for revenge on The Visionary who beat him? Or on The Beast who beat him down?

 

Backstage interview with Bobby Lashley.

Byron realizes he’s emotional right now- Emotional? He’s PISSED! What Brock did was unforgiveable! Lesnar came in, and now Rollins is champion? Lashley isn’t done with Rollins, he’ll come back for that title. But first is Lesnar. Lashley will beat the hell out of Lesnar once he gets a chance! Lashley challenges Lesnar to show up next week so that the Beast can be exposed as nothing “but a little b*tch!” The All Mighty’s wrath has been awoken, but will he be able to tear down Suplex City?

 

Knock knock.

A rather glitchy message from Bray Wyatt plays. “I used to live in the prison inside my head. It was the only place that I could ever truly be free. Revel in what you are. REVEL IN WHAT YOU ARE! HAHAHAHAHAHA! REVEL IN WHAT YOU ARE!!! HAHAHAHAHA…! Revel in what you are.” What does all of this mean?

 

Sami Zayn w/ The Usos VS Matt Riddle!

The Honorary Uce is riding pretty high after the ego boosts he’s been getting from The Tribal Chief accepting him into The Bloodline and then appointing him above the Usos. Will Sami be riding high after a win over The Bro? Or will that Fight Pit victory lead Riddle to another big win in the chase for some gold?

Raw returns and Sami makes his entrance, the Usos right behind him. The bell rings and the two tie up. Sami headlocks, Riddle powers out but Sami runs him over. Sami holds up the finger, #WeTheOnes, and fans sing “Ole~ ole ole ole~! Ole~, Ole~!” for Sami. Sami and Riddle tie up again, Sami headlocks again, but Riddle powers up and out again. Things speed up and Riddle KICKS Sami down! Riddle then KNEES Sami in the side! Sami goes to ropes but Riddle KICKS him in the corner. Riddle ROCKS Sami, whips him to ropes, then CLOBBERS Sami! Cover, TWO! Riddle stays on Sami with a chinlock and leans on the hold.

Sami endures, fights up, and fans duel. Sami arm-drags free, things speed up and Sami CLOBBERS Riddle now! Cover, ONE! Sami throws hands on Riddle at the ropes, then CHOKES him on the ropes! The ref counts, Sami lets off at 4, and Jey goes up to BOOT Riddle back in! Sami is a bit perplexed, and he says, “You told me to handle this, right? I’m handling it. I’m handling it. I don’t need your help.” Fans chant “UCEY!” at Jey but then Riddle throws Sami out! Riddle goes up and out and PENALTY- NO, Sami dodges to trip up Riddle! Sami then ARABIAN PRESSES Riddle down! Fans fire up while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Sami drags Riddle up to bump off buckles. Sami bumps Riddle more, and Riddle flounders away. Sami hops up and leaps to AX HANDLE! Cover, TWO! Sami goes up the corner again, leaps, and Riddle dodges to spin Sami around! PELE! Sami falls over and both men are down! Fans rally up and Jey shouts at Sami to get up! Riddle and Sami stir, Riddle throws palm strike after palm strike and BOOTS! Sami rebounds, but into a BROSPLODER! PENALTY KICK! BROTON! But Sami flounders away to avoid the cover. Riddle forearms in the corner, runs in, but into a scoop and MICHINOKU DRIVER! Cover, TWO!!

Riddle survives and Sami is frustrated. Jey is pacing but Sami goes to a corner and climbs up. Sami aims but Riddle gets up there to join him! Sami flails and throws body shots to stop the cutter! Sami HEADBUTTS Riddle down! Sami leaps, but into a FINAL FLASH! Cover, TWO!! Riddle is beside himself as Sami survives! Jey shouts at Sami to get up, but fans rally for “SAMI USO!” Riddle climbs up a corner but Sami goes after him. Riddle elbows Sami away, reaches the top, but Sami trips him up! Riddle tumbles to the mat, but Sami claims he needs to be checked on. But then Jey rushes in! Sami stops Jey from attacking Riddle!

Sami says he doesn’t need Jey’s help, but Riddle rolls Sami! TWO!!! Sami escapes but runs into a headscissors that sends him out the ring! FLOATING BRO ATTACK! Fans fire up and so does Riddle as Raw goes picture in picture!

Riddle looms over Sami while staring down the Usos. The Usos back up, Riddle puts Sami in the ring, and Riddle KICKS Sami! And KICKS! And KICKS! Sami wobbles as Riddle KICKS him more and more! Riddle powers up, takes aim, but Sami ducks! Roll up, but Riddle rolls through to BUZZSAW! Cover, TWO! Sami is still in this and Riddle grows frustrated. Riddle hobbles over, drags Sami up and hauls him to the top rope. Riddle CHOPS Sami, climbs up after him, and he throws big forearms! Riddle then climbs to the very top, but Sami throws body shots! They brawl, Riddle ROCKS Sami but Sami CLUBS away on Riddle!

Sami adjusts, to SUPER SUNSET BOMB!! Cover, TWO!! Riddle survives and Sami can’t believe it! Jimmy coaches Sami up and Sami grits his teeth. Sami drags himself up the ropes, drags Riddle up and clinches, but Riddle fights the exploder! Sami CLUBS away on Riddle, then tries again! But Riddle hits a JUMPING TRIANGLE! Sami is caught as Riddle squeezes tight! Sami is turning red, but he reaches out with a hand! And then a leg! ROPEBREAK! Riddle lets go at 4 but  he calls upon those voices in his head, bro! Riddle aims as Sami rises, RK- NO! Sami powers out, Raw returns to single picture as things speed up, DOUBLE LARIATS take both men down!

The Usos are stressing out but Sami sits up. Sami throws hands on Riddle but Riddle gives them back. They go back and forth, fans rally up, and Riddle gets the edge. Riddle runs, but into a BOOT! Sami runs, but Riddle dodges to ripcord and FINAL FLASH! Sami goes to a corner, Riddle runs in, but Sami clinches! EXPLODER into the corner! Sami hurries to the other end, fans fire up for the HELL- POWERSLAM!! Riddle brings that one outta nowhere, and speaking of The Viper, Riddle drags Sami in through ropes! But Sami THROWS Riddle out! Sami has the ref check him again, but now he expects the Usos to do something? He did tell Jey to stand down.

Sami goes out to fetch Riddle, but Riddle KICKS him first! The Usos step but Jey tells Jimmy to stay back. This is what Sami wants, right? Riddle KICKS away on Sami! Sami gets in the ring, Jey likes that, but Sami ducks a kick for BLUE- NO! RKO!!! Cover, Riddle wins!!

Winner: Matt Riddle, by pinfall

That’s not what Roman wanted for the Honorary Uce! But Jey says it’s okay, Sami said he wanted to handle business on his own. The Usos check on Sami as he gets out of the ring, who will take the blame for this one?

 

Are you ready?!

The theme song is back, “BREAK IT DOWN!” And riding in on a Jeep, it’s DEGENERATION X, including HHH! They fire the cannon, just like back in the days of the Monday Night War! HHH, HBK, X-Pac & Road Dogg head to the ring, throwing glowsticks to the fans. They get in the ring, form up, and as the fans get louder, they CROTCH CHOP!! X-Pac asks Brooklyn to make a little noise! And a quick shout out to the missing magic ingredient, the Ninth Wonder of the World, CHYNA!

Road Dogg wants to see who remembers this: “Lllladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. Tonight, De-Geriatric X proudly brings to you one half of the seven-time WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOORLD~! The Road Dogg, Jessie James!” Fans take care of saying, “The Ass Man, Billy Gunn!” “The New! Age! OUTLAWS!” HHH says it smells funny in here. X-Pac says it smells good! Is that Dogg or the fans? No, that’s gas. But it has been 25 YEARS! Who was here watching them at the beginning? Many fans cheer, and HHH says not all of these people are THAT old. 25 YEARS! HBK doesn’t feel so bad now.

25 years IS a long time. But right now, HHH just has one thing he wants to know: “Are you ready? No, Brooklyn, I said! ARE! YOU! READYYY?!” Fans cheer because they are! “Then… For the thousands in attendance. For the millions watching at home. And for 25 years, we would like to say thank you and we love you all. Hold on, I gotta catch my breath first. Woo~. All right.” Dogg wishes HHH gave him that opportunity. “Llllllllllllllllet’s get ready to SUCK IIIIIIIIT~!” HBK says, “And as we’ve said 25 glorious years of Degeneration X… But I’m gonna put all of us out there right now here on the spot.” Fans chant for “HBK! HBK!”

HBK wants us to promise, if we’re somehow all back here 25 years from now, put them outta their miseries! “And if you ain’t down with that, we got two words for ya!” “SUCK IT!!” Fans will never forget this team! DX then, now and, well, maybe not forever, but here’s to 25 years to close the Raw season premiere!


My Thoughts:

An awesome episode for not just the Raw that follows a PPV but also the “season premiere.” Granted, the DX celebration was just a fun closing segment, DX also had a lot of fun in other segments, like setting up those poor jobbers against Omos and that really wacky opening where we actually get to see HHH sitting at the desk at gorilla. But HHH did have a point, this isn’t the Attitude Era, he’s also the boss now, they can’t get as wild as they used to. They had a good part with The Miz, too, after a great segment from Miz, Maryse and Lumis. I guess they’re maintaining the kayfabe that Lumis was released and hasn’t been rehired, so you gotta think Lumis is going to win next week so he can be a WWE superstar in canon.

Great match from Gargano and Theory, even though it feels really soon to be doing this one. Gargano winning is great, but I’m wondering where this goes from here. Rey VS Gable was a great match, but of course Judgement Day goes after him once again. This has been the most emotional I’ve seen Rey, this is a really interesting move. And then what’s wilder is that Styles has Gallows & Anderson back! I’m pretty sure Anderson is still NJPW’s NEVER Openweight Champion and he is in the middle of setting up his title match with Hikuleo, but I guess this is a clear sign that he’ll be losing that belt to say good-bye to NJPW again. Maybe. And either way, this is definitely to set up Survivor Series: WarGames, Judgement Day VS The OC.

Good promo from Damage Control, and very good match from Candice and Bayley. A great surprise that Candice won, but I’m thinking she’s going to be joining Bianca’s side as we get closer to Survivor Series: WarGames. Bayley wants another shot, she probably will get that title match, and I would think Bayley wins that to “vindicate” herself, and then we get a tiebreaker at the Royal Rumble or even WrestleMania, depending on how they rotate in enemies and allies. There’s also the women’s tag titles, so maybe Candice teams with Alexa Bliss while Asuka is kayfabe hurt with the bad knee, and we also bring in SmackDown’s Shotzi & Raquel.

Brock Lesnar showing up was wild because no one had any whiff of that happening until I think today. Everyone thought the return was “soon,” but they didn’t think this soon. Lesnar basically screwing Lashley out of the US title was an interesting way to get us a rematch of Lesnar VS Lashley, but it’s not like Lesnar VS Lashley needed the title. Plus, Rollins getting the US title fits what I’ve been feeling, and that is adding the title to his feud with Cody Rhodes. Cody returns, wins the US title, and he completes his Homelander cosplay in time for WrestleMania. Fans may want/expect Cody to go for the top title, but he probably has to wait until the plans for WrestleMania: Hollywood play out. And Cody’s never held the US title, so checking that off the list would mean him becoming Universal Champion makes him a WWE Grand Slam Champion, a huge crowning achievement for Cody’s return.

And of course, amazing stuff out of The Bloodline, the layers of this story are like an onion. It was also a nice continuation from Logan Paul stirring it up on SmackDown. Sami is getting a big head over being The Honorary Uce and it cost him with Riddle. Jey was told by Roman to make sure Sami won, but clearly that didn’t get back to Sami, and now we’ll have to wait and see this Friday who Roman gets mad at.

My Score: 8.9/10


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Coverage

Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 2.2.2023

Impact has a new number one contender, a few new signings and setting up for No Surrender. Lets see what happens tonight!

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We’re coming off of Rich Swann becoming the number one contender, Joe Hendry creating another banger of a parody song and Bully Ray…being more like Bitchy Ray.

Also lets not overlook the fact that Dirty Dango officially signed with IMPACT as well. Which may not be huge, but with the current addition of Santino Marella, Dango being involved in storylines for the foreseeable; there could be some good comedy in store.

There we go, a bunch of stuff got set in motion; but we could always see some interesting wrinkles or just straight forward boredom. Only one way to find out! BUT FIRST! Raven is getting The Flock back together…maybe?

Ratings:

  • Bullet Club (Ace & Bey) vs Kevin Knight & Kushida: Ace & Bey win via 1-2-Sweet – ***
  • Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal vs Savannah Evans: Gisele wins via Denouement – ** 1/4
  • Crazzy Steve w/ Black Taurus vs Sheldon Jean: Steve wins via King Kill 33 – N/A
  • Johnny Swinger w/Zicky Dice vs Kenny King: Kenny wins via Royal Flush – N/A
  • The Design (Kon, Deaner, Angels & Callihan) vs Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian, Yuya Uemura & Rich Swann: Callihan wins via Cactus Driver ’97 – ** 1/2

 

Results:

Bullet Club (Ace & Bey) vs Kevin Knight & Kushida

As much as I like Ace & Bey, a part of me would like MCMG versus Kushida and his new partner.

Early on its just counters, posing to the crowd and getting themselves over until Bey manages to sweep the leg, slingshot over the top rope for a stomp and take over a little. Knight manages to avoid a corner move, one legged Springboard Body Press, Jumping Frog Splash, and then a quick tag to Kushida. Some tandem moves from Kushida and Knight as Knight continues to mix it up with Bey.

Ace distracts Knight before the Springboard and Bey meets him in midair with a Dropkick and gets Ace in for some tandem offense and then Ace starts setting the pace. Double Arm Wringer into a tandem Back Rake. Then they wrestle Knight to the ground and keep him down for another Back Rake. Ace continues to set the pace and keep Knight mostly on the receiving end, until Knight rolls out of a lift, Ricky to Robert roll, Kushida gets the hot tag and starts clearing the ring. Bey tries Art of Finesse, Kushida catches him in a Flying Armbar but Bey turns it into a Cradle to get Kushida to break.

Electric Chair from Kushida, but before Knight can hit his Dropkick, Ace slides in and catches Knight on his back. Chicken Fight before Kushida and Knight finally hit their Tandem move but Ace makes the save. Ace wipes out Kushida, Knight forces Ace out, tries to go for a Plancha, but Bey was crotched on the top rope. As Knight tries to Plancha, Bey hits a Cutter out of nowhere on the apron. Ace sees the opening, 1-2-Sweet for the win!

Steph De Lander video package…that’s a pretty decent grab for IMPACT.

Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal vs Savannah Evans

Gisele faces off with Savannah and slaps her in the face a few times and refuses to back down. Savannah of course fires back, but when Gisele gets violent is when she’s at her best. After a big toss, Gisele powders, confers with Jai and the commercial kicks in. When we get back, Gisele has the advantage. But Savannah takes the short arm pull in, Side Slam for effect and distance.

Now they start trading strikes, that Savannah wins that war. A few short Lariats, Samoan Drop, and Gisele is reeling. Retreats to the corner, tries to stop Savannah with the Back Elbow, but eats a Spinebuster when she tries to continue. Fisherman’s Suplex Hold from Savannah for 2, Full Nelson Slam attempt, but Jai hits the apron and tries to seduce the referee as a distraction. Gisele hits the Denouement (Knee Strike) for the win.

The crowd is actively booing Gisele, but she powers through for her promo. It wasn’t great, but I’ll give her some credit for pushing through. 

Crazzy Steve w/ Black Taurus vs Sheldon Jean

Sheldon Jean continues the arrogance, though he’s a nobody enhancement talent. It would be nice if some of these enhancement talent wrestlers didn’t all have that same arrogant persona. We all know Steve is going to win, this is just a storytelling tool to probably add to the Trey Miguel stuff.

Steve is entertaining, but this match is more predictable than most things. He hits King Kill 33, but apparently it’s called Belladonna’s Kiss now. Trey jumps Taurus, tries to spray paint Steve, but Steve bites him and spray paints himself causing Trey to powder out of confusion/fear.

Bully comes out to complain as has been his thing the last few weeks. But thankfully Mickie returns the favor from last week and interrupts Bully. Verbal jabs, Bully Ray insults Mickie, Mickie slaps him, Bully slams her and calls in the Good Hands to get the tables. Tommy Dreamer makes a save with a kendo stick. Good Hands vs Mickie & Tommy next week. 

Oh good, this is exactly what I wanted from a few weeks ago! Kelly and Taylor will be a great team.

Johnny Swinger w/Zicky Dice vs Kenny King

Some goofy posturing and general Swinger antics. Eddy Gordo kick into Royal Flush, and Kenny gets the obvious win.

Bully has a segment in the back with Masha, and it seems like he’s a little smitten while he was trying to just manipulate her emotions to pick up the pieces after or during the tag match next week. 

Cardona and Myers try to make their own diss track song…and it was awful. It was supposed to be bad, and yes, it achieved that. It was like Miz and Morrison, without comedic talent.

The Design (Kon, Deaner, Angels & Callihan) vs Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian, Yuya Uemura & Rich Swann

Deaner barks at Callihan to start against Swann, then commands him to tag out, and a multi-man match is always a little bit of everyone gets moments. So its just odd that the heel team will be dictated by Deaner to a degree. Uemura comes in second and he reminds me so much of a young Tanahashi its crazy. Deaner calls for the tag and squares off against Josh now.

An attempted jumping in the corner, but Josh gets space and it turns into all 8 men in at once. Josh goes right after Kon and tries to assert his dominance on the “power” of The Design. After the commercial, Uemura gets rocked but Kaz saves him with a blind tag and hits some of his classic moves on Angels and Callihan. Swann comes in but Deaner and Kon manage to ground Swann and put the momentum back in the hands on The Design.

Some stupid spots take away a little from the match while Swann is getting worked over. Swann slaps his leg when he eats a Dropkick from Angels, then tries to Leapfrog Deaner and jump to his corner, Deaner grabs him away but it just looks silly and like it was never going to work to begin with. Its the optime of doing too much and hurting the match. Josh eventually gets a hot tag, tags a square off with Kon, throws him around and King Kong Knee drops Kon. Ankle Lock gives the near fall but Kon kicks off, Uemura tags himself in, Callihan gets the tag, is about to finish off Uemura; but Deaner stops the Thumbs Up – so Josh breaks up the offense and we get all 8 men pulls off high impact moves.

Cactus Driver attempt, Uemura hits the Enzuigiri to stun Callihan. Goes to the top, Deaner trips Uemura, Cactus Driver ’97 wins the match.

 

Overall Score: 5/10

This was a weird episode. The only match worth watching was the opening tag match, the rest were predictable, boring or just had dumb spots in them. Backstage segments however, those were pretty great. The problem though, is they built off of either inside jokes, old WCW knowledge or not shutting off cringe immediately.

So while I loved the Raven & Reese segment, Kelly & Taylor, and found some amusement in the Cardona stuff…its really subjective and not exactly friendly to an uninitiated viewer. We got an episode that catered to already existing fans, which isn’t how to grow a brand.

Even though I enjoyed things for the most part, this was a lame episode from the perspective of retaining new eyes.


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (2/1/23)

Dynamite is No Holds Barred!

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AEW Coverage Lasers

Will Darby Allin still be the Relentless TNT Champion?

Samoa Joe wants the AEW TNT Championship back, but he knows Darby Allin is relentless. Tonight on Dynamite, they go NO HOLDS BARRED for the gold! Will Joe once again be the King of Television?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Jon Moxley VS Hangman Page; Moxley wins.
  • The Acclaimed w/ Billy Gunn VS Truth Magnum & Turbo Floyd; The Acclaimed wins.
  • Brian Cage w/ Prince Nana VS Konosuke Takeshita; Takeshita wins.
  • Bryan Danielson VS Timothy Thatcher; Bryan wins.
  • AEW TBS Championship: Jade Cargill w/ Leila Grey VS Red Velvet; Cargill wins and retains the title.
  • AEW TNT Championship No Holds Barred: Darby Allin w/ Sting VS Samoa Joe; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

Jon Moxley w/ Wheeler Yuta VS Hangman Page!

The Maniac and the Cowboy go for their tiebreaker as Dynamite is in Dayton, Ohio! Will Ohio’s own knock this one out of the park like he did before? Or will there be some serious #CowboySh*t going down in Dayton?

Not only does Moxley have the Decoder by his side, he has his dad, Dan! Hangman makes his entrance next, and Moxley goes right after him! Moxley throws hands then whips Hangman into railing! The ref reprimands but Moxley sends Hangman into steel steps! Moxley throws hands, whips Hangman again and Hangman hits more railing hard! Fans fire up and the ref reprimands. Moxley just takes off his hoodie to CHOKE Hangman with it! Moxley TOSSES Hangman over the railing, and then he hops onto the railing! Dayton fires up, gives Moxley a hand, and Moxley FLYING AX HANDLES Hangman down!

Moxley brings Hangman up but Hangman throws hands! Hangman sits Moxley down, fires off more shots, then backs up. Hangman runs in to BOOT Moxley against railing! The ref reprimands, he wants this in the ring, but it isn’t a match yet so there’s no real repercussions. Hangman stalks Moxley along the way but Moxley kicks back. And CHOPS! Moxley trips Hangman then ties him up, FIGURE FOUR on the floor! Moxley and Hangman flip each other off but the ref still wants this in the ring. Hangman grabs someone’s beer and splashes Moxley with it! Moxley lets Hangman out of the hold, and then Hangman ROCKS Mox!

They go back to ringside, Moxley grabs a chair but Hangman CLUBS Moxley. But Moxley JAMS Hangman, tris him, and then drops an elbow on the leg! Moxley has a toehold, then he puts the chair around the leg! The ref reprimands but Moxley goes up the apron. The ref shouts at Moxley to not jump, but then Hangman gets free! Hangman CHUCKS the chair at Moxley’s head!! Moxley goes down and fans fire up! The ref reprimands again and wants this to get in the ring. Moxley is dazed, but Hangman drags him around, to suplex onto the chair! Hangman drags Moxley up and puts him in the ring, but he also brings the chair!

The ref stops Hangman, so Hangman leaves the chair behind. The bell finally rings, and Hangman runs in to forearm Moxley! Moxley hits back, they go back and forth! Moxley’s eyebrow is already busted open, but he keeps throwing shots. Hangman gets the edge, HEADBUTTS, then whips. Moxley reverses to dropkick the legs out! Moxley looms over Hangman, drags him into the INDIAN DEATHLOCK! Hangman endures, keeps his shoulders off the mat, but fans rally behind Moxley. Hangman drags himself back, reaches out, and gets the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Moxley lets Hangman go at 3.

Moxley brings Hangman up but Hangman gets around to GERMAN SUPLEXES! Moxley snarls but the blood is getting into his eye. Hangman DECKS Moxley and has him at the ropes. Hangman brings Moxley up, fans boo but Hangman CHOPS! Moxley flounders and falls and fans start dueling. Hangman stalks Moxley, sits him up, and he starts raining down fists right on the bloody eyebrow! Mox fans boo but Hangman fans are fired up for the “COWBOY SH*T!” Hangman wipes Moxley’s blood off on his chest, but then turns around into a CHOP! Moxley eggs Hangman on and Hangman CHOPS back!

Moxley CHOPS, Hangman CHOPS, fans “WOO~!” for the CHOP fight! Moxley shifts to boxing elbows, then runs, but Hangman catches the crossbody! FALL AWAY SLAM! Fans are torn while Moxley goes to the apron. Hangman runs, triangle jumps, but Moxley LARIATS first! Moxley drags Hangman up and to the apron, then turns Hangman, for a SLEEPER! The ref reprimands and wants this in the ring, but Hangman claws the bloody eyebrow! Moxley turns Hangman around, reels him in, but Hangman resists the lift! Hangman tries to lift, Moxley resists, and then Moxley lifts! Hangman fights that and lifts again, but Moxley still fights!

Both men are fighting for control, and Hangman fireman’s carries! To SNAKE EYES Moxley off the post! Moxley falls to the floor and Dynamite goes picture in picture!

The ref checks Moxley but he’s somehow okay to continue. Hangman goes over to fetch Moxley, and whips him into railing! Hangman ROCKS Moxley with haymakers as the bloody eyebrow becomes a crimson mask. Hangman refreshes the count, goes back to Moxley and CHOPS him! Moxley gets in Hangman’s face so Hangman CHOPS again! Moxley CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS, but Hangman DECKS him! Hangman snarls, looms over Moxley, and then drags him back up. Hangman puts Moxley in the ring, and rains down more fists on that bloody eyebrow! Moxley falls over, but Hangman gets the wrists!

Hangman sits Moxley up, for a DRAGON STOMP, but Moxley blocks! Moxley throws Hangman to a corner and fires off forearms and CHOPS on repeat! Moxley then hoists Hangman up top, climbs up after him, and CLAWS Hangman’s back, painfully slow! Then he CLAWS and BITES Hangman’s back, before blowing a kiss to the fans. But Hangman throws body shots in return! Dynamite returns to single picture as Hangman BITES Moxley’s forehead! Hangman then slips under Moxley to fireman’s carry him on the second rope! SUPER DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives and fans are fired up!

Fans duel as Hangman sits up. Hangman scowls while Moxley sits up. Moxley eggs Hangman on so Hangman kicks him! And BOOTS him! Hangman tells Moxley to stay down but he refuses. Moxley sits up, so Hangman BOOTS him! Moxley sits up to SLAP Hangman, and flips him off! Hangman is fuming, but he runs into a CUTTER! A standing count starts, fans count along as Moxley and Hangman stir. They sit up at 5 of 10, and Moxley throws a haymaker. Hangman throws it back, so Moxley gives another,. They go back and forth, Hangman wobbles but he CHOPS! Moxley CHOPS! Hangman forearms! Moxley forearms back!

Moxley eggs Hangman on, Hangman staggers over and CHOPS again! Moxley KICKS a leg, KICKS Hangman’s arm, then KICKS him again! Moxley ducks the haymaker to get the SLEEPER! Hangman shifts to SAIDO! But Moxley’s right up! SAIDO!! Hangman ends up in a corner and fans say “This is Awesome!” Moxley puts Hangman up top, climbs up after him, and hits a SUPER HALF HATCH SUPLEX!! Cover, TWO!! Moxley immediately rains down the HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Then he clamps on a SLEEPER! Hangman endures as Moxley shifts to a BULLY CHOKE! Hangman pushes around, so Moxley shifts to get the wrists! DRAGON STOMPS!!

Moxley then drags Hangman up into the underhooks! But Hangman fights Death Rider! So Moxley rolls Hangman to an ARMBAR! Hangman endures, moves around, and reaches out to the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts and Moxley lets go at 4. Hangman crawls to a corner, fans rally up, and Moxley says this is it! Moxley runs in but Hangman TOSSES him up and out! Moxley staggers up, Hangman goes up top! ARIHARA MOONSAULT but Moxley moves! And LARIATS!! Both men are down at the ramp and fans are thunderous! The ref checks both men, Moxley is up first while fans lose their minds.

Moxley goes to the timekeeper’s area and he clears off the table! Moxley drags Hangman over, reels him in, but Hangman resists the lift! Hangman Alabama Lifts but Moxley fights that. DOUBLE LARIATS hit! And again! Moxley runs in, POP-UP POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE!! Fans lose their minds again while Hangman leaves Moxley behind in the ring. The ring count climbs to 5 of 10 before Moxley sits up. The count is 7! Then “OCHO!” Moxley stands at 9, and springs in at 9.9!! But into a LARIAT!! And then Alabama Lift, DEADEYE!!! Cover, TWO?!?! Moxley survives and no one can believe it!

Hangman kicks at Moxley, almost taunting him. Hangman goes to a corner while Moxley’s fans boo. Hangman runs in, but Moxley dodges the stomp to KING KONG LARIAT!! Fans are thunderous as both men stand again. Moxley eggs Hangman on, and Hangman stands. Moxley throws a forearm, so Hangman hits back! Moxley forearms again, but so does Hangman! Fans duel, the forearms fly faster, and then Hangman gets the edge! SUPERKICK! Hangman reels Moxley in, fisherman’s a leg, but Moxley fights the suplex! Hangman powers it through, FISHERMAN CRADLE DRIVER!! Cover, TWO!?!?!?

Hangman’s wild eyes say he can’t believe Moxley survived! Hangman goes to the apron, he aims at Moxley, slingshot for the BUCK- NO! DEATH- NO, Hangman blocks to scoop! TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!! But Hangman doesn’t cover, he goes to the apron! Hangman loads up, for the BUCKSHOT!!! Cover, TWO!?!?!? HOW?!?! Moxley has survived all of Hangman’s best, but Hangman has the BULLY CHOKE!! Hangman pulls back on Moxley’s favorite hold! Moxley shifts, fights back up, and he snapmares into a cradle! MOXLEY WINS!!

Winner: Jon Moxley, by pinfall

Moxley just taught Hangman not to play games! Hangman is furious that he got caught like that, but the Blackpool Combat Club steps into the ring. Yuta and Claudio keep Hangman back but Moxley stands up. Moxley and Hangman get in each other’s face but the BCC keep them apart. Hangman flips Moxley off, and fans want to “LET THEM FIGHT!” Moxley and Hangman keep jawing, they get close but Claudio keeps them separate. Moxley mocks Hangman by lying down, giving Hangman a chance. Hangman mocks Moxley back by doing a quick burpie push-up. Claudio tells Hangman to go and cool off.

Moxley flips Hangman off as he leaves, and fans celebrate their home state hero. Will there be a fourth round out of these two to truly settle things?

 

AEW takes a look at tonight’s TNT Championship No Holds Barred main event!

Darby Allin tells Samoa Joe, “I knew when I took this from you in Seattle that you’d want it back. And I know you’d stop at nothing to have it back. Well, I’m gonna make things fair. You beat me in Texas, and you granted me my rematch in Seattle. So I’m granting you your rematch in Ohio. But I want it under one condition: No Holds Barred.” Samoa Joe told the “Little Dead Boy” that Joe is “coming to take back what’s mine. The King will not be usurped by a man like you.” Darby says if he walks out the winner, Joe doesn’t get another rematch. If Joe walks out the winner, Darby won’t get a rematch. This will be the final chapter of their feud! So who writes their happily ever after?

 

Backstage interview with Jamie Hayter, The Bunny, The Butcher & The Blade.

Renee Paquette is with the AEW Women’s World Champion, as well as the mercenary trio. Renee thanks them for agreeing to no physicality, and understands that Allie the Bunny requested this time. Bunny tells Hayter, they’re all very impressed by Hayter’s win over Emi Sakura on Rampage last Friday. Now, Bunny feels like Sakura outshined Hayter, but great win nonetheless. And Bunny knows Hayter isn’t the type to back down from a challenge, right? Right. So here’s a challenge: next week on Dynamite, Hayter VS Bunny in a Title Eliminator Match! What does Hayter say? Hayter says absolutely! She bloody loves a challenge, and next week, she’s free.

Renee says there’s something happening as we speak! They get it on the television screen nearby, and it’s Britt Baker being mugged by Saraya and Toni Storm!! Bunny is shocked and Hayter is furious! Hayter hurries off, Saraya talks right into the camera, “AEW is OUR house!” Storm drags Britt up to RAM her into a garage door! Bunny more or less expresses exasperation, but will Hayter be able to save the Doctor?

 

The Acclaimed w/ Billy Gunn VS Truth Magnum & Turbo Floyd!

The AEW World Tag Team Champions have been reigning for 133 days, but they know the Gunn Sons, Austin & Colten, are gunning for them. But first, they tune up against “The Outrunners.” As always, Platinum Max has a diss track ready! “Acclaimed on the mic, you know we the nicest. Fighting two guys in their midlife crisis! I bet you have sex with each other. How we gonna fight the bootleg Beverly Brothers? C’mon, it’s not the 80s! Acclaimed gonna make you call it quits like you Tom Brady! ‘Ey, y’all should be ashamed. In Ohio, everybody loves The Acclaimed.”

Fans cheer, and Bowens gets the mic to say, “NNNUTTER CENTERRR~! The Acclaimed have arrived! SCISSOR ME, DADDY ASS!” And he does~! But while Caster & Bowens just embarrassed Truth & Turbo, are they walking into a trap game before taking on the Ass Boys?

The teams sort out, the Outrunners decide they’ll scissor finger! They mock the Mega Powers at the same time, but then Bowens SUPERKICKS Truth out of the ring! The bell rings, Caster CHOPS Turbo and scoops him to SLAM him! Tag to Bowens and Bowens goes up top! Caster holds open the legs, SCISSOR ME TURBO! Daddy Ass gets in the ring so that he and the boys can TRIPLE SCISSOR~! Bowens waits on Turbo, mule kicks and hits the ARRIVAL! Tag to Caster and he goes up top, MIC DROP! Cover, The Acclaimed win!

Winners: The Acclaimed, by pinfall

But wait! Raining on the parade are Austin & Colten! Fans taunt the “ASS~ BOYS~!” But they tune that out. They go to the ring, and Colten has a mic. “Hey, good match, guys. But we’re here to talk about something serious. Last week, what we said would make us happy are your belts. And we want a shot at those belts, and we want an answer right now.” Fans boo but Caster has the mic to say, “Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Listen.” Bowens says, “You two Rod ‘n’ Todd lookin’ asses want an answer. You do realize you are interrupting the most popular tag team in all of wrestling, right?” Caster adds, “That’s right!”

“The winningest tag team in AEW history!” “That’s right!” “The FOREVER champs, the Acclaimed!” “That’s right!” “And not to mention, EVERYONE! LOVES! THE ACCLAIMED!” But they are the People’s Choice, and the People’s Voice, they will ask the people. Colten says these fans can’t even read! But Bowens still asks Dayton’s opinion: Do the Ass Boys deserve a shot at the tag titles? “NOOO~!” Well, the people have spoken, so NO. Austin & Colten get in Caster’s & Bowens’ faces, but Billy tells them all to stop! Isn’t it enough already? Billy is so sick of this, he is just done! Billy says this is too much, so go ahead, beat the sh*t out of each other!

Daddy Ass steps aside, fans fire up, but Austin says, “There you go. Do exactly what you did our entire childhoods and turn your back on us.” Billy stops walking up the ramp, but then chuckles as he keeps going. Austin says Billy should do what he used to do, and drown his sorrows at the bottom of a PILL BOTTLE! That gets Billy to turn around! Billy storms up on his sons and The Acclaimed, as well as the fans, tell the Ass Boys that they F’d up. Billy is up in Austin’s face and says, “So you two think you just put your big boy pants on? Then you just step up, and you just made the biggest mistake…”

The mic is wonky so Billy throws it down. Bowens gives Billy the good one. Billy wants Austin to look at him after what he just said. Austin looks up at his father’s eyes. Billy says if they’ve got their big boy pants on, if they think they got what it takes, if they think they have what Billy had, then we’ll see next week. They’ve got their title shots! The Acclaimed is surprised but the Ass Boys smile that they’re getting their way. Will Austin & Colten get what they want? Or just what they deserve?

 

Backstage interview with Jack Perry.

Alex Marvez is with Jungle Boy and notes that he and Hook are 2-0 as a team, having beaten The Firm’s Ethan Page & Matt Hardy. The question is: What’s next for #JungleHook? JB says that he had an amazing time teaming with Hook, and Hook has had JB’s back when no one else did. But JB’s done the tag team thing before. In fact, JB has been all the way to the top of that mountain, and fallen all the way down. But this year isn’t about that. What JB will say is that he’ll be a champion again, but all by himself. Then just what title will Jack Perry aim for in this Tarzan Life?

 

Brian Cage w/ Prince Nana VS Konosuke Takeshita!

Speaking of having people’s backs, just as The Machine and MJF were about to destroy Bryan Danielson, The Future of Wrestling rushed out to run them off! But now, Cage and Konosuke go toe to toe, will Cage make Konosuke pay for interfering?

The bell rings and Konosuke BOOTS Cage! Cage BOOTS Konosuke, then DOUBLE LARIATS collide! Cage swings but Konosuke swats it to ROLLING ELBOW! Cage wobbles, Konosuke runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges, and then TAKESHITA LINES! Cage bails out and fans fire up! Konosuke runs to BOOT Cage off the apron! Konosuke then PLANCHAS and takes Cage down at the ramp! Fans fire up, Konosuke winks at the camera, and then goes back to the apron. But Cage grabs a foot! Konosuke kicks and stomps Cage but Cage yanks Konosuke into a POST BOMB! Konosuke tumbles down and fans boo but Nana cheers.

Cage drags Konosuke up, puts him in, and runs to basement BOOT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally for Konosuke but Cage drags him back up. Cage reels Konosuke in, puts one out, but Konosuke wrenches out! Konosuke throws a forearm, but Cage gives it back! They go forearm for forearm, and Konosuke throws boxing elbows into the ROLLING ELBOW! Cage fights the back suplex, KNEES low, and brags, “Who betta than Cage?” But he runs into a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Cover, TWO! Cage survives and Konosuke is surprised! Nana coaches Cage up but Konosuke aims from a corner. Konosuke runs in to JUMP KNEE, but Cage dodges!

Konosuke tumbles to the apron, Cage ROUNDHOUSES him! Cage climbs the ropes, and he stands Konosuke up. DEADLIFT SUPERPLEX! Fans boo but Cage flexes while Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Cage drops a knee on Konosuke, sits him up to KNEE him in the back again and again, then he stomps Konosuke back down. Cage paces, drags Konosuke up, and bumps him off buckles. Cage RAMS into Konosuke, RAMS him again, and then CHOPS him! Cage soaks up the heat, but Konosuke CHOPS back! Konosuke fires forearms, then another CHOP! And another CHOP! But Cage BOOTS Konosuke down! Cage grabs the legs, stomps Konosuke in the stomach, then paces around. Cage stands Konosuke up, wrenches and YANKS the arm, then RAMS shoulders. Cage wrenches, pump handles, and lifts, but Konosuke slips out!

Konosuke runs in but Cage ducks the boot to roll Konosuke up! Konosuke slips out, but runs into a drop toehold! Konosuke’s on ropes, Cage dials it up, TIGER FEINT KICK! Konosuke staggers to a corner, Cage runs in and UPPERCUTS, GAMANGIRIS, and GERMAN SUPLEXES! Cover, TWO!! Cage and Nana are annoyed, but Cage looms over Konosuke. Cage hears the fans rally for Konosuke, but Cage drags him up. Cage reels Konosuke in, puts out another one, and Dynamite returns to single picture as Cage lifts, only for Konosuke to RANA Cage into buckles! BLINDSIDE JUMP KNEE! Cage staggers, Konosuke goes up, FLYING KNEE!

Both men are down and fans fire up! Konosuke and Cage stir as the ring count starts. Konosuke sits up and feeds off the energy. Konosuke drags Cage up into a waistlock, but Cage elbows free! Cage whips, Konosuke LARIATS on the return! Konosuke drags Cage up, waistlocks and GERMAN SUPLEXES! Bridging cover, TWO!! Fans rally while Konosuke fires up. Konosuke aims from the corner as Cage stands, and Konosuke runs in, JUMP- NO! Cage blocks the knee to BUCKLE BOMB! And then fireman’s carry, to an F- NO! Konosuke lands out, lifts and LIGER BOMBS! Cover, TWO!! Cage survives but fans fire up behind Konosuke!

Konosuke aims again while Nana shouts to Cage. Cage stands, Konosuke runs in but the knee is blocked! Cage spins, Konosuke ducks! Konosuke spins, ROLLING ELBOW!! Konosuke reels Cage in, but Cage wrenches out to HEADBUTT! And then SAIDO!! But Konosuke is right up?! Into a DISCUS LARIAT from Cage!! Cover, TWO!?! Konosuke survives and Nana is furious! Cage says he’s gonna end this, and he suplexes, only for Konosuke to slip out! Konosuke suplexes, SHEER DROP BRAINBUSTER!! Cage roars as he rises up, but Konosuke ROCKS him with another elbow! And then another suplex, for another BRAINBUSTER!!! Cover, TWO!?!?

Cage survives, he must truly be a machine! But Dayton rallies behind Konosuke. Konosuke runs in, but into a SUPERKICK! Cage fireman’s carries, for the F10!! Nana says no prisoners! Cage drags Konosuke up again, puts him in the corner and hoists him to the top. Cage then goes to the outside and climbs up after Konosuke. But Konosuke throws forearms in return! Konosuke suplexes for a SUPER BRAINBUSTER!!! Fans are thunderous and Konosuke aims again! KNOCKOUT KNEE!!! Cover, Konosuke wins!!

Winner: Konosuke Takeshita, by pinfall

Cage may be a machine, but the machine just broke down against the bullet train! Will Konosuke continue to prove why he IS The Future of Wrestling?

 

Backstage interview with the Jericho Appreciation Society.

Renee is with Matthew Menard, Angelo Parker, Daniel Garcia, Sammy Guevara, and of course, Chris Jericho himself. Renee says that we heard Ricky Starks’ comments from last week, addressing how the JAS cheated to win. What is their reaction? Jericho says, “Cheated? We haven’t worked together in five years, and you’re accusing us of cheating? Let me say this, Renee. Ricky Starks, he didn’t lose to a baseball bat, no. Did you see a baseball bat in there?” Of course the JAS says no. Jericho says Starks lost to the JAS. And now Starks challenges them, “How can I get another match with Chris Jericho?”

Jericho says the JAS has an idea how Starks can do that. Right, Sammy? Sammy says yes. Garcia and Sammy put their heads together, and they came up with a great idea: The Guevara-Garcia… No, wait, the Garcia-Guevara Gauntlet! Danny thanks Sammy for the top billing on that name. Renee asks what kind of gauntlet they have in mind. Garcia says it’s a rather simple concept. “Ricky, first you’re gonna have to beat Cool Hand Ange. And if that happens, you’re gonna have to beat Daddy Magic.” Menard adds, “Beat Daddy Magic? I DON’T THINK SO!” Garcia says that if Starks somehow does that, then he beats either Garcia or Guevara, but they’ll reveal that the night of.

And then, if somehow, by the skin of his teeth, Starks makes it past all that, only then does Starks get his hands on Jericho. Jericho tells Starks, “You don’t call the shots around here, the Jericho Appreciation Society does. So if you can get through the Garcia-Guevara Gauntlet, I’ll be ready to rip your ass!” Will the Absolute survive three matches in one go to finally have another shot at The Ocho?

 

The Elite speak.

Matt Jackson asks Brandon Cutler if the camera is rolling as he, brother Nick, Kenny Omega, Michael Nakazawa and Don Callis are on the basketball court. Cutler says yes, they’re live, while Nakazawa and Callis are oiling Omega up. Matt says, “Ladies and gentlemen, check it out who it is! It’s the first-ever, two-time Trios Champions, The Elite.” Omega says that’s right, and he tells Top Flight, “I watched what you guys did. After a Best of 7 Series in a ladder match, you got one up on our boys. Well how ’bout next week, you bring your friend, AR Fox, next week and we’ll put these belts on the line, and you guys can shoot your shot.

“But hey, when you shoot that shot, you best not miss. Because The Elite never miss. Nick, if you will.” Nick takes the rock and shoots it, THREE POINTER! Oh, but wait! The Firm’s Stokely Hathaway, Ethan Page, Matt Hardy & Isiah Kassidy walk in. Callis has Cutler keep rolling, and Omega mockingly asks where Stokely is, he can’t see him. Oh haha, Stokely knows you see him, he’s right here. But listen, you three are doing NOTHING all week? No wrestling, nothing? Just a week off? Ethan thinks that’s funny. The Firm’s employees don’t have that luxury, they work every single week, and Ethan wants that streak to continue.

So Ethan says how about this: The Elite VS Ethan, Matt & “Zay,” Friday on Rampage. Omega tells Callis he isn’t so sure, but Callis says this is Matt Hardy. If they get footage of Hardy taking a One Winged Angel, they could sell that NFT for a lot of money. Hardy says, “What about an NFT with Matt Hardy Twist-Of-Fating Omega?” Ethan likes that better! Well, as far as a match, it’s done. The Elite VS The Whatever They Are. Kassidy says he hopes the Elite is ready, cuz they sure are. Kassidy unsettles Kenny with an arm around his shoulders and a moan, and Ethan says this is good business. Hey, Brandon, is it? Cut the camera!

Matt Jackson tells Ethan Page that he doesn’t tell Brandon what to do! THEY tell him! Turn off the camera, ya damn dumbass! And get off the court, they’re trying to play. But will this 3v3 pick-up game go The Elite’s way? Or is it a trap game before taking on Fox, Dante & Darius?

 

Bryan Danielson VS Timothy Thatcher!

In the American Dragon’s quest to be #1 contender, he has defeated Tony Nese, Konosuke Takeshita, Bandido and Brian Cage, an undefeated streak of 4-0 in 2023! But now, Maxwell Jacob Friedman has enlisted a fighter very much like Bryan in his savage technical ability. Will Bryan make it to the deadline still on top? Or is this where MJF wins before Revolution even begins?

The bell rings and the two circle. They feel out the grapple, but Bryan’s shoulder is an obvious target. They grapple, Bryan puts Thatcher on ropes but Thatcher shifts to get the arm. Thatcher wrangles Bryan but Bryan scrambles to the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Thatcher lets off, and then smirks as he watches Bryan get up. Bryan and Thatcher feel out another grapple, Thatcher puts him in the corner, and then European Uppercuts! And again! And again! Bryan sits down and Thatcher goes after the arm! Thatcher twists the elbow and wrist, isolates the arm, and stands on the hand! Thatcher KNEES the arm!

Bryan scrambles away but Thatcher is right on him with a double wristlock! Bryan powers Thatcher to ropes, and clasps his hands behind his back. The ref counts, the two let off, but then Bryan fires off body shots and kicks! Bryan grabs a leg to DRAGON SCREW! Bryan holds onto the leg, turns Thatcher over and ties those legs up, to get a Deathlock! Fans rally as Bryan sits on the hold, then SNAPS it! Bryan then shifts to a BOW ‘N’ ARROW! Thatcher pries the fingers away! Bryan shouts in pain but Thatcher twists the arm! And STOMPS it down! Fans boo but Thatcher grins with that missing-tooth smile.

Thatcher KNEES Bryan in the back, stalks him to a corner, but Bryan puts Thatcher in the corner to CHOP and CHOP and KICK and KICK! Fans rally, Bryan runs corner to corner, and DROPKICKS! Bryan facelocks but Thatcher wrenches and WRINGS Bryan’s arm! Fans boo more but Thatcher drags Bryan up with a double wristlock! Thatcher uses his height to lift Bryan off the mat! Then Thatcher pushes Bryan down, but Bryan keeps his shoulders up. Bryan crawls around, ROPEBREAK! Thatcher lets go at 4 while fans rally up. Bryan clutches his arm but Thatcher goes after it again as Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Bryan endures but they’re also in the ropes so the ref counts. Thatcher lets off at 4, then digs his boot into Bryan at the corner. The ref counts, Thatcher lets off, only to stand on Bryan’s chest! The ref counts, Thatcher steps away, and he grins as he soaks up the heat. Thatcher mocks Bryan’s pain, then KNEES the bad shoulder! Thatcher KNEES Bryan again, goes out to drag Bryan tot he apron, and he SLAMS the arm on the edge! Bryan clutches his bicep and shoulder while the ref reprimands. Thatcher slides into the ring and stands Bryan up by his ears! Thatcher CLUBS Bryan on the chest! Thatcher fishhooks Bryan to stand him up, and CLUBS him again!

Bryan sits down, Thatcher stands him back up, and he hammerlocks the bad arm. Thatcher then back suplexes Bryan up and into the ring! Thatcher dusts off his hands while crawling to the cover, but Bryan wrangles him into the LEBELL LOCK!! Thatcher got cocky and got caught! But he scrambles to the ROPEBREAK! Bryan lets off quickly, but Thatcher is right on him! Thatcher UPPERCUTS the arm! Bryan goes to a corner, Thatcher KNEES him down, then drags Bryan back up. Thatcher EuroUppers Bryan, taunts the fans, then EuroUppers Bryan again. Bryan leans against ropes, Thatcher snarls at the fans, then gets in Bryan’s face.

Dynamite returns to single picture as Thatcher traps Bryan’s bad arm behind his back and throws hard body shots to that side. The ref counts but Thatcher grins as he throws more shots. Bryan fights back with HEADBUTTS! Fans fire up as Bryan backs Thatcher down, but Thatcher fires off body shot after body shot! Thatcher drags Bryan out to a hammerlock GROVIT, and then hits a GROVIT-PLEX! Cover, TWO!! Bryan is still in this but Thatcher snarls. Thatcher stalks Bryan at the ropes, bumps him off buckles, then reels Bryan in to hoist him up top. Thatcher UPPERCUTS, climbs up after Bryan, and he underhooks the arms!

Bryan resists and fans fire up! Bryan breaks free, throws body shot after body shot in return, and then HEADBUTTS Thatcher down! Thatcher growls and gets right back up! But Bryan throws more body shots! Fans rally “YES! YES! YES!” and Bryan HEADBUTTS again! Thatcher stays down this time, and Bryan stands up! Thatcher stands in time for the MISSILE DROPKICK! Both men are down as Bryan clutches his bad arm, but Dayton rallies up behind him! Bryan and Thatcher sit up, both snarl, and Thatcher EuroUppers! Bryan EuroUppers in return! They go uppercut for uppercut, but Thatcher gets the edge!

Bryan fires up to KICK! And KICK! Bryan KICKS away on Thatcher’s chest, “YES! YES! YES!” Bryan powers up but Thatcher blocks the Buzzsaw! Thatcher goes for the bad arm, wrangles Bryan down, but Bryan rolls through and gets around to waistlock. Thatcher bucks the O’Conner but runs into a backslide! TWO, FUJIWARA! No, Bryan rolls through to BUZZSAW! Cover, TWO!! But Bryan clamps on for HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Fans rally again, but Thatcher blocks the arm! Bryan claws Thatcher’s face to get free, and get a SLEEPER! But Thatcher wants that bad arm! Bryan has to shift his grip, but Thatcher stands!

Thatcher pries the sleeper open because he can get the bad arm, but Bryan powers up! Bryan has the hold on tight, so Thatcher backs Bryan down! They end up ramming the ref into the corner! Bryan still holds on, but Thatcher hits a BIG back suplex! All three men are down and fans fire up! But here comes MJF! The AEW World Champion tells Dayton to shush, and he puts on the Dynamite Diamond Ring! MJF says, “It’s too damn easy. This is done! This is done!” MJF goes to the ring, but KONOSUKE flies in outta nowhere!! Konosuke won’t let MJF screw Bryan over! Konosuke attacks MJF, RAMS him into railing, and chases him to the back!

Bryan has Thatcher but Thatcher snatches the arm! FUJIWARA ARMBAR!! The ref is up, he asks Bryan, but Bryan endures! Thatcher pushes way back on the arm, but Bryan pushes his way forward with his legs! ROPEBREAK!! Fans fire up as Bryan survives by a literal foot! Thatcher lets go in frustration and he scowls as he throws hands on the bad arm. Thatcher drags Bryan up, clinches, BELLY2BELLY SUPLEX! Bryan flounders but Thatcher runs in, clinches, but Bryan switches! GERMAN SUPLEX! Thatcher fumes as he gets back up! Bryan dodges him, runs back in, BUSAIKU KNEE!! Cover, Bryan wins!

Winner: Bryan Danielson, by pinfall

Now 5-0 on the year, the quest continues! The American Dragon is not yet slain, but wait! MJF and Konosuke continue brawling backstage! MJF turns things around to send MJF into a road case! MJF gets a chair to CHUCK it at Konosuke’s head! And then he throws a trash bin! MJF says if Konosuke wants after him, this is what he gets! But Konosuke turns things back around to SMACK MJF off a table! MJF comes back, the hands fly, and security rushes in! Referees and management try to stop this, too! MJF says he’ll kill Konosuke but Konosuke says about the same in Japanese! Renee runs in to be on the scene, and she tells everyone to stop!

Renee informs everyone, “Per Tony Khan, next week on Dynamite in an Eliminator match, it will be Takeshita VS MJF!” MJF is pissed, he doesn’t agree to that, but he MUST! Will the Devil of AEW find that the Future of Wrestling is better than him?

 

Mogul Affiliates speak.

Swerve Strickland says, “It’s been a real relaxing last couple of weeks for Swerve and the Mogul Affiliates and all, since getting rid of some dead weight and all this. Until I was like, retriggered.” Dustin Rhodes returning to stand in front of Swerve’s camera, in front of Swerve’s lights, and with Swerve’s interviewer! “The Rhodes Family legacy really gets under my skin, with your father, Dusty Rhodes, giving Keith Lee the ‘Limitless’ moniker. So, since he’s not here, Dustin’s not here, either, let’s find some other nepotism, second generation punk boy to get rid of Friday night on Rampage. That means you, Brian Pillman. Ain’t that right, Parker?”

Parker Boudreaux says that’s right. “Ain’t that right, Trench?” The tattooed man says, “Yeah, that’s right.” Hoodies up, but will they put Bulletproof BPJ down?

 

BREAKING NEWS for next week!

February 8th, the deadline for Bryan Danielson becoming #1 contender, will see The American Dragon taking on La Faccion Ingobernable’s El Toro Blanco, RUSH!! And speaking of…

Backstage interview with LFI.

Lexi Nair is with El Toro Blanco, but also Jose the Assistant and “Perro Peligroso,” Preston Vance. She notes the announcement of Rush VS Bryan, but then there’s a knock at the door. MJF walks in and says, “Hola, mi hermanos! Senor Vance, Senor Jose, Senor Rrrrrush.” Rush asks what the hell this “perro” wants. MJF double checks, “perro” is dog, right? Well, there’s a little thing called personal space, so he’s just gonna take a step back. “But here’s the deal: my, uh, Spanish is come se dice… Mid. But I know one language, my friend, that is mucho, mucho universal.” And that is MONEY! A huge briefcase full of it!

MJF snaps the case shut and smiles. This first one is free of charge. But he has FIVE MORE filled to the brim with dinero. All Rush has to do is beat Bryan Danielson “by any means necessary.” All Rush needs to do is rip Bryan’s arm off and beat him over the head with it. Can Rush pull that off for him? Jose, translate. Jose translates, but Rush seems to understand explicitly. Rush tells MJF in Spanish, and MJF asks “dipsh*t” Jose to translate. Jose sums it up by saying they have a deal. Oh, is that right? That sounded a bit longer than that. But Rush, you don’t have to like MJF. He just has to get the job done. Pleasure doing business with you, perro.

MJF leaves, but Rush has his mission. Will Rush be raking in the money with one match? Or will nothing stop Bryan Danielson from earning his title match?

 

AEW TBS Championship: Jade Cargill w/ Leila Grey VS Red Velvet!

Finally, the biggest, fastest-rising star has reached her FIFTIETH match! But while the streak started with The Chef, will it end with her, too? Or will #ThatBitch not be stopped by even the person who knows her best?

The introductions are made, but Velvet attacks while Jade is strutting around! The bell rings, Velvet fires off forearms but Jade knees her low. Jade whips Velvet to a corner but Velvet boots her back! THESZ PRESS! Velvet rains down hands but Jade shoves her away. Velvet ducks but runs into an elbow! Jade drags Velvet up, but Velvet fires off forearms! Velvet whips, Jade blocks to reverse, but Velvet holds ropes. Jade runs in but Velvet sends her out! Leila hurries to Jade’s side but Velvet builds speed! Velvet WRECKS Jade with a dropkick! Velvet tells Leila to back off, then she storms up on Jade.

Jade elbows Velvet away, but Velvet comes back to ROCK Jade! Velvet CHOPS Jade right in front of her family! Velvet then puts Jade in the ring, storms up on her and Oklahoma Rolls! TWO! Jade staggers up, blocks a superkick, and she spins Velvet around. Velvet ducks the haymaker and runs the ropes, then wheelbarrows, but into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans fire up while Jade drags Velvet over to a cover, TWO! Velvet is toughing it out but Jade is getting frustrated. Jade scoops Velvet to SLAM her, then drops a BIG elbow! Cover, TWO, and Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Leila is annoyed and Jade frowns while Velvet sputters. Jade drags Velvet up, CLUBS her down, and Leila applauds. Jade bumps Velvet off top buckles, then middle buckles, then bottom buckles! Jade stands on Velvet in the corner and soaks up the cheers and jeers, but lets off at 4. Jade and the ref argue, but Leila gets cheap shots in! Leila scurries away and Jade hauls Velvet up for a FALL AWAY SLAM! And then kips up! Jade holds up both hands to say 50, and then flexes. Velvet bails out, Leila talks trash, and Jade storms over. Jade walks up but Velvet sends her into railing! Jade is getting mad, but Velvet avoids one haymaker to PENALTY KICK from the apron!

Velvet CROSSBODIES, but Jade catches her! Jade POSTS Velvet, then carries her around the way. Jade trophy lifts Velvet, goes up the steel steps, and then TOSSES Velvet at the ropes! Velvet falls, Jade covers, TWO!!! Velvet survives and Jade is getting real mad. Leila rallies the Baddie cheering section, and Jade stalks Velvet to a corner. Jade drags Velvet up, and TOSSES her across the way! Jade says that’s 50 right there, and then she does push-ups as Dynamite returns to single picture. But Velvet CHOPS! Jade CLUBS Velvet, then TOSSES her across the way again! Jade swaggers, dribbles, but Velvet dodges the dunk!

Velvet DROPKICKS Jade, then hits a CODE BREAKER! Jade staggers around, Velvet KICKS and KICKS and mule kicks! Velvet runs, but Jade BOOTS her down! Cover, TWO!! Velvet is still in this and wait! Kiera Hogan RAMS Leila into steel steps! The other former Baddie is here, but other refs come out to have her leave. This all distracts Jade, and Velvet rolls her up! Jade rolls through, but the STIR IT UP hits!! Cover, but the refs aren’t paying attention!! Fans count, Velvet would’ve won twice over by now! Aubrey Edwards finally notices and counts, TWO!! Jade survives and fans can’t believe it!!

Velvet is furious, she drags Jade around and hooks an arm, short arm scissor, and then the INVERSION! Jade endures, fights, but Velvet kicks at her! Jade endures as Velvet pulls on the arm, and she deadlifts Velvet! But Velvet sunset flips! Jade stays up, drags Velvet up with both hands, and pops her around! Chicken wings for JADED!!! Cover, Jade wins!!

Winner: Jade Cargill, by pinfall (still AEW TBS Champion)

FIFTY AND OH! Velvet came the closest of all, but will anyone ever stop Jade’s undefeated streak?

 

Backstage interview with Britt Baker.

Renee is with The Doctor, as well as Jamie Hayter, as they are with Doc Sampson. We only caught a glimpse of what happened to her earlier at the hands of Saraya & Storm, how is Britt feeling? Britt says this is fine. She’s fine, and if that’s how Storm & Saraya wanna play, that’s fine, too. Because Britt & Hayter can play that game, too. But wait, in walks Ruby Soho! Ruby just wants to talk. She heard what happened, is Britt good? Uh, Ruby, weren’t those your girls? Ruby has Britt hold on there. Ruby has nothing to do with Saraya & Storm, she doesn’t know what Britt’s talking about.

Britt says Ruby’s known Saraya & Storm a lot longer than she’s known the AEW originals, so sorry if it’s strange that Ruby only now shows up. But yeah, Britt is good. Hayter says Britt is great, actually. Ruby says she’s glad to hear it and walks off. There are battle lines being drawn, which side is the Runaway on?

 

BREAKING NEWS for Rampage!

Not only are The Elite and The Firm having it out, it is for the AEW World Trios Championships! Will Kenny & The Young Bucks make it through All Ego, Hardy & Kassidy to then take on Fox & Top Flight? Or will there be a change of plans for Dynamite? And speaking of Saraya & Storm, they are in tag team action once again, but will they continue to beat down All Elite homegrown talent? Plus, before taking on Bryan Danielson, Rush will take on the Fallen Angel, Christopher Daniels, in an epic match of former ROH World Heavyweight Champions! Will El Toro Blanco build momentum going into his battle with The American Dragon?

 

AEW TNT Championship No Holds Barred: Darby Allin w/ Sting VS Samoa Joe!

The series is tied at 1-1, with the Samoan Submission Specialist winning in Texas, but the Relentless One winning in his hometown of Seattle. Dynamite in Dayton is throwing out all the rules except one: win! Will Darby continue to be the fighting champion? Or will Joe return to being the One True King of Wrestling Television?

The introductions are made, the TNT title is raised, and one way or another, this is the series finale of Darby VS Joe!

Darby takes off his trench coat to reveal he, uh, customized his Hoodlum hoodie. He’s covered it in thumbtacks!! And as soon as he’s in the ring, he rushes in to COFFIN SPLASH Joe! Joe is reeling from the tack attack but Darby fires off tack-covered forearms! Fans fire up as Darby runs corner to corner, but Joe dodges the splash to GAMANGIRI! Joe then wraps up an arm in his towel, to LARIAT Darby down! Fans rally, Joe pulls Darby’s tack hoodie off and throws it away. Joe drags Darby up to CHOP him! Darby goes to a corner, but Darby kicks back. Joe stomps Darby, stomps him down, then storms off.

Joe goes out to look under the ring, and he brings out a TABLE! Dayton fires up, Joe picks the table up, but Darby DIVES into the table and Joe! The table doesn’t break but it, Joe and Darby all hit the floor! Joe is busted open on his forehead and fans fire up! Darby hurries to stand the table up, to then drop it on Joe! Darby then brings the steel steps around into the corner of the railing. Darby whips, Joe reverses, and Darby not only clips steel steps, he clips railing! Darby lands on his feet just from momentum, but he soon falls to his knees, clutching his back! Fans lose their minds while Joe stalks out after Darby.

Joe stands Darby up, throws knees into him, and then throws him into railing. Joe drags Darby up and they go up the bleachers. Joe SMACKS Darby off the handrail, then brings him up further. Joe smacks Darby off more railing, then keeps him going up. But Darby fights back! Darby CLUBS and CLAWS Joe’s back! Fans fire up but Joe DUMPS Darby down the steps! Fans are going nuts while Joe glares through his crimson mask, and Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Joe drags Darby up again, grinds him against the handrail, then SMACKS him off a fan’s chair! They go back to the lower level as Darby kicks Joe and crawls away. Joe keeps after Darby, drags him up, and brings him around the way to TOSS back to ringside! Darby narrowly misses hitting steel steps head first! Joe stalks Darby, drags Darby back up, then scoop SLAMS him on the steps! Darby writhes, flounders away, but Joe follows him to the corner. Darby throws Joe’s ROH World TV title at him, but that only upsets Joe. Joe storms in after Darby, stalks him to a corner, and waits on Darby to stand before he DECKS him!

Joe eggs Darby on as he stands over him. Darby doesn’t stand so Joe makes him. Joe snapmares to CHOP Darby on the back! And PENALTY KICK him in the chest! And then drops a fist on his head! Joe watches Darby writhe and the ref checks on him. Joe grins through the crimson mask, then stomps Darby down. Joe kicks Darby, then clamps on a neck wrench! Joe leans all his weight on Darby but Darby throws body shots. Joe doesn’t budge, and he CLUBS Darby down. Joe grins as Darby tires to sit back up. Joe clamps the neck wrench back on and he twists even harder! Darby endures, and Dynamite returns to single picture as Darby throws more body shots.

Joe lets go of the neck wrench, Darby hobbles and runs, but into an ELBOW! Darby falls over and Joe covers, TWO! Joe keeps focus as he looms over Darby. Joe KICKS Darby to a corner, and then stomps him. Fans rally and duel, but Joe is annoyed by that. Joe drags Darby up, DECKS him with a forearm, then clamps on another neck wrench! It’s practically a vice on Darby’s head, squeezing his skull! Darby endures, fights up, and he RAMS Joe into buckles! Darby fires off forearms and SLAPS! Darby runs corner to corner, but into the URENAGE! Cover, TWO!! Darby survives the #STJOE, but Joe stands Darby up to CHOP him!

Darby staggers, Joe CHOPS him again! Darby flops to the apron, Joe builds speed and he BOOTS Darby to the floor! Joe then storms out and looks under the ring. Joe brings out another TABLE! Fans fire up again but Joe has fans move aside. Fans oblige and Joe rests the table against railing. Darby is in the ring, Joe goes in and brings Darby up, but Darby JAWBREAKERS before the sleeper could lock in! Darby runs in at the corner to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Darby CHOPS away on Joe, but Joe TOSSES Darby right out of the ring! Joe has been treating Darby like a throw pillow, emphasis on the “throw!”

Darby flounders up, but Joe goes back over to bring him back in. Joe suplexes high and hard! Joe then goes out to fetch chairs! Joe puts a handful of chairs in the ring, then sets them up together. Fans fire up as they’re back to back to make a wedge! Joe stands Darby up, brings him over, BIG back suplex on the chair wedge!! Darby writhes and Joe has a sadistic smile. “Joe is gonna kill~ you!” Joe turns the chairs around to face each other, then brings Darby back up. But Darby uses POCKET SAND to stop the bomb! CODE RED!! Cover, TWO!! Joe survives but Darby hurries to hop on! THROWBACK STUNNER!

Joe falls into a drop zone, and Darby hurries to get his hoodie back! Darby puts that back on, climbs up the corner, and COFFIN DROPS!! Cover, TWO!?!? Joe survives the tack-enhanced senton and fans can’t believe it! Darby hurries outside and goes looking. Darby uses a knife to cut the strings that hold down the canvas! Some are tough but they all give way, and Darby pulls the canvas away. Darby then drags off the foam padding to expose bare wood! Darby is deconstructing the ring in order to better destroy Joe! Darby sees Joe outside, builds speed and DIVES, but Joe walks away! Darby CRASHES THROUGH THE TABLE!!!

Dayton is losing their minds as Joe puts Darby back in! Joe sets Darby’s tack covered jacket down, he picks Darby up, and he POWERBOMBS him on the tacks! AND THEN HE SMOTHERS DARBY WITH THE TACK JACKET!! Darby DIGS at Joe’s eyes!! Joe lets Darby go, but he staggers around blindly! Joe stands up into a CHAIR SHOT! And another! And another! Darby has Joe on the hard wood, climbs up top, but Joe pushes the ref into the ropes to trip Darby up!! Joe climbs up after Darby, tucks him in, and hits a SUPER MUSCLE BUSTER TO THE WOOD!!!! Cover, JOE WINS!!!

Winner: Samoa Joe, by pinfall (NEW AEW TNT Champion)

Darby’s relentless streak is over! Samoa Joe is now a TWO-TIME TWO BELT CHAMPION! But wait! “THIS IS WAAAR~!” Fans go nuts for Wardlow as he storms down to the ring! Joe is just as shocked as Wardlow runs in! SPEAR!! Wardlow rains down fists on the man who took his title and his top knot! Wardlow rips his shirt off, drags Joe up, but Joe scrambles away! Fans boo but Joe isn’t going to fight again so soon after the war he just went through. Security rushes out but Wardlow CLOBBERS them all! Then he hauls one up to POWERBOMB out onto all the others!! Wardlow will not be denied, when and where will he get his hands on Joe?


My Thoughts:

This was an awesome Dynamite! Same balance of action and talking, but the action was all on a different level this week. Of the talking, we got good stuff out of this AEW Originals VS Imports in the Women’s Division. Saraya & Storm really up their Heel heat by just attacking Britt unprovoked, and then Ruby checking in on Britt was an interesting turnaround from her telling she didn’t want Britt’s help. But we’re getting closer and closer to that big tag(?) match. Hell, make it a Blood & Guts match but with the women rather than the men. Saraya leads a team, Britt leads a team, Ruby will choose Britt’s side and there could even be a twist of Shida betraying Saraya during the match to cost the anti-AEW team.

Good promo from the JAS to set up things with Starks. I just knew Starks would have to beat everyone in the JAS eventually, so it’s clever for them to get it all done in one gauntlet match. Starks will of course make it past Menard and Parker, and I bet that just as it looks like Garcia is stepping up to face Starks, Guevara takes the spotlight from him. Starks will still get through the final opponent, and he’ll get his match with Jericho. Good promo from Mogul Affiliates, because one: it establishes that their group doesn’t like multigenerational wrestlers, and two: it gave Granden Goetzman his wrestler name, “Trench.” Swerve will surely beat BPJ, but I bet Dustin teams up with BPJ and Brock Anderson as a sort of AEW take on WWE’s Legacy faction to take on Mogul Affiliates.

Good promo from Jack Perry, but I’m surprised he waited until now to establish that he’s done with tag teams. But I suppose he’s done with The Firm, too, so he’s done needing reinforcements. As it stands, if he wants a singles title, he could start with the All-Atlantic Championship, but I could see JB making a move for THE AEW World title. Speaking of The Firm, good promo from them and The Elite. I wonder if this was really live or just the take where Nick actually made that shot. Anyway, I’m also surprised the trios match for Rampage is for the titles when the titles are going to be on the line for Dynamite. But I suppose if Orange Cassidy and Darby Allin are fighting champions, then so should the Elite. Which of course means The Elite win on Rampage to go on to face Fox & Flight.

We got an awesome match from Bryan VS Thatcher, but of course Bryan wins to keep his story going. Even after he had that awesome match with Brian Cage, Konosuke going after MJF was a great move. And getting himself an Eliminator match is a good, too, but I feel like MJF finds a way to stand tall. He’ll either cheat to win, or just get himself disqualified quickly so his night will be over quickly. MJF also had a really good promo with LFI. Rush is a great choice to take on Bryan Danielson, and Rush is also going to have a great match with Christopher Daniels on Rampage. I’m sure Bryan will still find a way to win and we’ll still get that Ironman match, it just has to be how this goes.

It’s mostly because I don’t even know who is the #2 contender, since AEW still hasn’t kept up with rankings in this new year. AEW bringing out a sudden twist of MJF still having that One Hour Ironman match against someone other than Bryan would be great stuff, since MJF has been so focused on Bryan, but I feel like getting MJF VS Bryan is still the thing everyone wants to see. Great opening match out of Hangman VS Moxley, and of course Moxley bleeds. It’s practically in his contract. But Hangman losing by a roll-up was a great surprise, and them still being after each other after, this has to continue until Revolution.

The Acclaimed winning a squash was a bit surprising, but obviously that was to make room for the promo that set up things with The Gunn Sons. But Billy suddenly saying his sons can have a title match with The Acclaimed? I hope there isn’t a turn coming where Billy is suddenly on his sons’ side again. It just feels like something is fishy, but who knows. Really good TBS title match from Jade and Velvet, but I guess since this wasn’t at a PPV, Jade wasn’t about to lose. Kiera trying to help Velvet only to mess things up was at least a good detail to protect Jade. But at this rate, who is even going to beat Jade when she’s gotten through even some great established names.

And of course, an awesome No Holds Barred match for the TNT title. Great innovation, such as Darby’s tack covered jacket and the different table spots. I was actually rather surprised to see Joe win this to once again be dual champion. But at the same time, Wardlow returning to continue his story with Joe is a logical reason as to why Joe needs to have the TNT title again. Perhaps Wardlow gets the TNT title back to have a second chance with that, and Darby can move up into the world title scene. And assuming MJF retains at Revolution, it works for Darby to be next as they have history in AEW.

My Score: 9/10


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