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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (11/25/22)

Fallout from Fyter Feast!

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HPW News 2022

Anyone want leftovers?

Fyter Feast was a mouthful, but there’s still more to digest! Hear from all the winners that are headed to HyruleMania 3, and even the losers who aren’t.

 

After the opening tag team match.

Kage and Wizzro hobble in.

Kage snarls as he sees the camera. “In case Igos watches this back later,” Kage says, “he better know this means nothing. He’ll be fighting a 100% healthy HPW Triforce Champion at HyruleMania, and that guy doesn’t lose.” Kage and Wizzro then get icepacks, for Kage’s ribs and Wizzro’s jaw. Will the Hero’s Shadow get even darker for New Year’s Eve?

The Ikana Royal Family walks in.

Stal-Kid, Sir Hurr & Sir Durr are there to greet the Ruler of Ruin with applause. Igos du Ikana has them settle down, and he looks into the camera. “In case the champion watches this back later,” he says, “I hope he knows whatever he said doesn’t matter. He could’ve been 100% today, and the result would’ve been the same. We won because we our superior to him physically, but more importantly, we are superior to him mentally. He is a blunt instrument that swings at a target, simply trying to smash it. I am an arsenal. I am a multi-tool kit with everything needed for every situation. I will disassemble the machine and take the title from the pile of parts left on the mat. Then Ikana will have glory once again.”

The IRF follows their leader away, no icepacks needed. Will Igos pick Kage apart piece by piece? Or will Kage simply smash Igos to pieces?

 

After Aveil VS Byrne.

Byrne Lokoma and Chancellor Cole walk in.

Cole is fuming and stomping around. “The referee shouldn’t have let that match continue past the Iron Claw Sleeper! It was reckless and it endangered Aveil! He should’ve called it in Byrne’s favor!” Cole’s concern for Aveil is a bit self-serving… Byrne says it’s fine. “My train may have taken a detour, but it isn’t off the rails yet. I’ll be watching HyruleMania very closely. And I will be pulling into a golden station soon after that.” Byrne then heads out, with Cole still fuming as he follows. When and where will we see the Lokoma Express again?

Aveil walks in, with the Gerudo Alliance there to greet her.

They all shout, “SA’OTEN~!” and high-five one at a time. Aveil says, “I’m on my way! I’m going to climb the ladder, climb to the top of Death Mountain, and take that title! And I know these vais (ladies) will get it done, too!” Shabonne says, “Oh, you know it!” The Dames of the Dune are fired up, and we know what happens in the main event.

 

After Odolwa VS Onox.

Onox walks in, checking his neck.

Onox gets an icepack already, and he looks around, looking a bit perplexed. “Well, it was real nice to be brought back after Clash of Fates, but, uh… I was not expecting that good of a fight. That Odolwa. He’s one to watch out for. That Death Mountain Champion better be really careful.” Onox then heads out, icepack on his neck. With that endorsement from the General of Darkness, will the God of Woodfall soon reign in HPW? Speaking of…

Odolwa walks in.

The Sword of the Swamp grabs a bottle of water, chugs it then dumps whatever’s left on his head to cool off. Then he looks right into the camera and shouts, “I will be the God of DEATH MOUNTAIN!!” Odolwa leaves, will his prophecy become reality?

 

After Ralph VS Ghirahim.

Ralph hobbles in.

He gets an icepack for the back of his head, his chin, and his left arm, grumbling the whole time. “Why was Ghirahim chosen? He lost at Clash of Fates! … Well, okay, so did I, but so did all of us Dark Horses. But Ghirahim lost way worse than any of us did. … No, I shouldn’t be making excuses. I should’ve still beat Ghirahim myself. But now, I’ll be watching HyruleMania in hopes everyone else in that match does beat him.” Ralph leaves, icepacks taped in place with some help from production staff. Will Ralph get his wish and see Ghirahim fall in the ladder match?

Ghirahim walks in, smug smirk on his face.

“Redemption is a wonderful feeling, isn’t it? And it’ll feel even sweeter when I take that title back. I should’ve never been robbed of that title, but it’s alright. I’ll reshape Death Mountain in my image again, and once again be… exquisite! Oh, and revenge on Midna is the cherry on top.” Ghirahim heads out, will he enjoy the taste of sweet victory at the Celebration of Greatness? Or another bitter defeat?

 

After the HPW Trios Championship #1 Contenders Three By Four.

Cameras hurry to keep up with the brawling!

Groose keeps throwing hands on Skull Kid all the way into the pavilion in the back! There are fans back there cheering this on, but referees and security hurry to stop this! The two are separated, but the fans chant, “Let Them Fight! Let Them Fight!” Skull Kid wriggles free and JUMPS on Groose! Fans go wild as Skull Kid bowls Groose and a security guard over and they break through a merchandise table! Fans lose their minds as Skull Kid rises up from the wreckage. Then he looks down at all the shirts. “Why’re there so many UnderWorld Order shirts?! Who’s not buying our shirts?!” Will the uWo merch sales go up? More importantly, where is all this rage in Skull Kid coming from?

At the same time…

The rest of the uWo is brawling with the Dark Forces. Volga throws hands with ReDead but ReDead CLUBS Volga down! The Gibdos brawl with fists like a hockey fight, and they go around, knocking over a trash can. UWOG RAMS DFG into the railing of the bleachers, then he picks up the trash can! UWOG BOPS DFG with it! DFG staggers away and UWOG CLUBS him on the back to keep him moving forward. The brawl is moving backstage, just off to the side of the stage. UWOG CLUBS DFG more, and DFG staggers and stumbles, bumping into road cases as he goes. ReDead and Volga are both following!

The Gibdos keep going, throwing hands back and forth through the halls! They’ve entered catering! Torbevito is there eating, and they fall onto his table, breaking it! “Aw c’mon!” Torbevito complains. “That was the last of the prime rib!” Volga and ReDead end up brawling towards the buffet! They’re in the desserts area! ReDead ROCKS Volga with a forearm, but Volga mule kicks in return! Volga then SUPERKICKS ReDead! ReDead wobbles, and Volga jumps onto him as a backpack! Volga smashes ReDead’s face into the DIPPIN’ DOTS!! Rusl on commentary is upset, he really wanted some of those.

Security rushes in now, as does management. Humpback Hook Halibut shouts at all four of them to stop right now, or they’re all suspended! “And there won’t be an amount high enough that Beedle could pay to undo it!” Volga lets off of ReDead and the Gibdos back away from each other. Hook says, “I’m going to figure out how to settle this once and for all. And whatever I decide, it’s all going to happen… at HyruleMania!!” Volga applauds that, and the Gibdos glare at each other. The Gibdos nod, accepting whatever the future holds. Just how will this be decided in one month’s time?

Arrow Club returns backstage.

The Young Ducks & Bad Croc Scaly let their “new” challengers know they were here and are now heading back. Rick Quackson wonders if Torbevito get any of that prime rib, it was going fast. Mack’s sure Torbevito’s fine. “Just like we’re going to be just fine at HyruleMania. I mean, c’mon. Buliara and Riju think swapping out Aveil for Tali is going to change anything. They were all part of the All or Nothing Quartet match. We beat them all at the same time, so any combination of just three of them is going to be a piece of cake!” Scaly wonders if there’s any cake left. Now that Mack is interested in. The Trios Champions head out, but will they be in for a shock on New Year’s Eve?

The Dames of the Dunes are celebrating in the ring.

Fans cheer and the Dames get the mics. Together, Riju, Buliara, Tali and Shabonne shout, “SA’OTEN!!” The fans cheer and even echo, “SA’OTEN!!” Buliara starts by saying, “This feels familiar, doesn’t it? Wasn’t it a couple years ago, the Desert Flowers were proclaiming to the world that we’d be HPW Trios Champions?” Fans cheer, remembering that moment. “Time sure flies when you’re having fun, huh? Though, it wasn’t all fun and games, obviously. We achieved a dream, lived the dream, but then let the dream become a bit of a nightmare. But we’re not afraid. We’re going to dare to dream again, alongside THE Dame of the Dunes!”

Fans cheer and Tali thanks Buliara for that. “She’s right. We’re going to live a new dream. Buliara and Princess Riju, they are dreaming of becoming TWO-TIME HPW Trios Champions!” Fans cheer that, and Tali continues, “And I’m dreaming of having held titles in two different divisions! Aveil is dreaming that same dream because she’s dreaming of being the next Gerudo, the next woman, to hold the Death Mountain Championship! And we’re going to make those dreams come true!” Fans definitely cheer that! Riju now speaks, saying, “For everyone that has stuck by us since that day over two years ago, sarqso <thank you>.” Fans cheer that, too.

“We had a long, hard struggle to get those titles the first time,” Riju continues. “We vowed to get the titles in 2020, but failed. We fought hard all 2021, and we won the belts at HyruleMania 2. We then lost the belts just after five months. But we’re going to repeat what we did at HyruleMania 2 and win the belts at HyruleMania 3!” Fans cheer again. “We will not fall short! We will not let you down! We will not let the dream die!!” Riju gets a bit teared up and fans are fired up now! Riju then takes a breath to calm herself down and continue. “But for now, we must go prepare. So until then, sav’orq, mwah! And sav’orr, POW!” Fans are still fired up, but will the dream come true a second time around?


My Thoughts:

I definitely like doing these “Fallout” articles. Great character and story building since the events are monthly, not weekly. And it allowed to HPW to have a very NJPW “closing promo from the main event winner(s)” moment. I honestly can’t remember when I last did that, outside of when the Desert Flowers did that. But it came as a surprise to me that it had been two years and a couple months. Anyway, I feel like I’ve got my energy going for this year’s HyruleMania. Last year felt a bit off, the latter half of 2021 was rough for me, but I think this is going to be a strong finish to the year.


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Bandwagon Nerds #227: Superhero Madness- Part 1

Superhero Madness begins with first round battles in the Mutants & Genetics bracket, plus Invincible Season 2 returns with a bang!

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario

This week, the Nerds embark on one of their most ambitious projects yet….Superhero Madness. It’s BWN’s own version of March Madness as we have selected 64 of the greatest Marvel and DC heroes to grace the big and small screens in a colossal battle to determine just who is the greatest superhero of all-time. This week’s opening round matchups feature Mutants & Genetics, including some of our favorites such as Moon Knight, Namor, Ms. Marvel, Wolverine, and many others. Which heroes will mutate their way to the Round of 32? All that plus the Nerds resume their review of Season 2 of Invincible, can only speculate about a shocking firing at Marvel, and get rather excited about the Teen Titans getting a live-action movie.

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About Bandwagon Nerds

Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd, and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

About the Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

Featuring shows such as POD is WAR (sports, entertainment & sports entertainment) Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture), The DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect), The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling), The #Miranda Show (wrestling and entertainment), Hockey Talk (sports), Patrick O’Dowd’s 5×5 (pop culture), The Outsider’s Edge (wrestling), Down The Wire (Sports), Talk The Keki (Anime), The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, Attitude Of Aggression/The Big Four (wrestling), and more!


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Talk the Kēki: The Top 30 Anime of 2023 Part 1

It’s time for the final episode of Talk the Kēki! Mat and Ethan are once again joined by Starman and Chris as they start with their watchlist of 2024 and talk about the future of the show.

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 It’s time for the final episode of Talk the Kēki! Mat and Ethan are once again joined by Starman and Chris as they start with their watchlist of 2024 and talk about the future of the show. Then they’ll close it off with their Top 25 Anime of 2023 to finish the year off. What was their anime of the year? Tune in now!

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About the Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

Featuring shows such as POD is WAR (sports, entertainment & sports entertainment) Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture), The DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect), The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling), The #Miranda Show (wrestling and entertainment), Hockey Talk (sports), Patrick O’Dowd’s 5×5 (pop culture), The Outsider’s Edge (wrestling), Down The Wire (Sports), Talk The Keki (Anime), The Mindless Wrestling Podcast, Attitude Of Aggression/The Big Four (wrestling), and more!


The Chairshot Radio Network
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iTunes  |  iHeart Radio  |  Google Play  |  Spotify
Listen, like, subscribe, and share!


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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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