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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (12/5/22)

Who will be The Ones?

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WWE Raw 2022

There’s a lot on the line for The Bloodline!

United though they may be, The Bloodline still needs to be on guard! Jimmy & Jey Uso return to Raw to defend their Undisputed Tag Team Championships against Matt Riddle & Elias!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS Matt Riddle & Elias; The Usos win and retain the titles.
  • Triple Threat: Bayley VS Rhea Ripley VS Asuka; Bayley wins and advances to next week’s Raw Women’s Championship #1 contenders match.
  • WWE United States Championship: Austin Theory VS Mustafa Ali; Theory wins by disqualification and retains the title.
  • JBL’s High Stakes Poker Invitational: Lumis wins.
  • Six Man Tag: The OC VS Baron Corbin & The Alpha Academy; The OC wins.
  • Dominik Mysterio VS Akira Tozawa; Dominik wins.
  • Triple Threat: Becky Lynch VS Alexa Bliss VS Nikki Cross; Alexa wins and advances to next week’s Raw Women’s Championship #1 contenders match.

PLAY PY PLAY

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS Matt Riddle & Elias!

The Bloodline is here as Sami Zayn and Solo Sikoa accompany Jimmy & Jey to the ring. The reign is over 500 days and counting, but could that time be up here in Washington, DC? Or will

As footage shows, it was earlier tonight when the Bloodline arrived. They were fired up, but Byron Saxton walked over to interview them. But then The Bro scooters in super fast! The Bloodline gets clear, and they’re upset. Jey says it doesn’t matter, they gonna get Riddle AND Elias tonight like they have every other team! If Riddle and Elias want at the titles, just look who showed up tonight? But then Elias comes out of his tour bus to ask what all the commotion’s about. Solo CLOBBERS Elias from behind! The Bloodline mugs The Drifter, and Solo whips Elias into spare railing! Sami says that’s what they get! Then he realizes Elias might be hurt.

In the present, Jey gets a mic to say, “The Bloodline is now in your city!” But Jimmy says there’s some bad news. The championship match that was supposed to go down is officially canceled! Cuz the Enforcer, Solo Sikoa, done bodied Elias in the parking lot. Now, everyone surely came here to see them compete, but here’s the bright side: Riddle won’t be humiliated, and Elias can go home to work on any song he wants to. Sami adds, “Bet! Sorry, it just felt like a good time for a ‘bet.'” Jimmy understands. But what you can look forward to now is the Usos focusing on being the best tag team ever!

The Usos will defend against any team that wants to run up, but those that run up will get done up! Because everyone else is the twos, and #WeTheOnes! But “Bro…” Riddle comes out to say, “First of all, it wasn’t so cool of you guys to take out my partner Elias tonight, dude. Like tonight was his first night to finally get WWE gold. And honestly, if I’m being real, it’s not really like The Bloodline to run from a fight. I would say it’s not very… How you say? Ucey?” Sami tells Riddle, “Yo yo yo yo yo yo! Hold up, my dawg.” Sami wants to explain something to Riddle. Riddle is not the one who decides what is or isn’t Ucey. Sami’s a bit of an expert in this field.

In fact, Sami is a certified Uceologist. What? Sami is the one to say what is and isn’t Ucey. For example, Solo Sikoa showing once again why he IS the Enforcer by destroying Elias, that is UCEY! The Usos continuing to be the longest reigning tag team champions in history, that is UCEY! Riddle coming out here, running his mouth, thinking he ever had a chance at beating them is NOT Ucey. So unless Riddle wants to suffer the same fate as Elias, just go home. Riddle says he did find someone else. And there WILL be a tag title match tonight! Now, Riddle and this guy aren’t really bros, but they both hate the Bloodline. It’s KEVIN OWENS!!

The Prizefighter and the Bro go to the ring but the Usos say that’s fine. Will the #KOBros be the ones to dethrone Jimmy & Jey?

The teams sort out, Kevin and Jey start and the bell rings. Kevin blocks Jey’s superkick and fires off haymakers! Kevin has Jey in a corner, the ref counts and Kevin lets off at 4. Kevin drags Jey up to whip to ropes and he CLOBBERS Jey with an elbow, to then SENTON! Cover, TWO! Sami coaches Jey but Kevin drags Jey up. Kevin bumps Jey off buckles, JABS, then backs up to run corner to corner! CANNO- NO, Jimmy gets Jey out of the way. Fans boo but Kevin goes out after them all to CLOBBER Jimmy! Kevin whips Jey into barriers! Fans fire up with Kevin, Kevin asks Solo what he’s staring at, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns as Kevin covers, TWO! Jimmy survives the cannonball but Kevin knocks him back down. Kevin goes up and up and MOONSUALTS! Cover, ONE!! Jimmy scrambles to ropes, Sami is upset about things, but Riddle tags in. Riddle stands Jimmy up to ROCK him with haymakers. Riddle whips, Jimmy reverses but Riddle holds ropes to BOOT Jimmy. But Jimmy distracts the ref and Jey ENZIGURIS Riddle down! Sami is fired up but fans boo the cheap shot. Jimmy tags Jey, the Usos split the wishbone. Jey looms over Riddle, he drags Riddle around then stomps him down. Jey throws his shirt at Kevin but Kevin just throws it on the floor.

Jey CHOKES Riddle on the ropes, he lets off at 4, and Jimmy BOOTS Riddle down! The cheap shots continue and fans boo again. Jey drags Riddle up, scoops him and tags Jimmy. Jimmy climbs up, BACKBREAKER AX HANDLE COMBO! Cover, TWO! Riddle hangs tough and the Usos are annoyed. Fans rally but Jimmy drags Riddle up to ROCK him! Riddle ROCKS Jimmy back, fires off more shots, then he BLASTS Jey! Jimmy UPPERCUTS Riddle down! Jimmy BLASTS Kevin for good measure! But Riddle fires off forearms on Jimmy! Jey tags in as Riddle whips, and Jimmy reverses, the Usos DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER! Jey covers, TWO!

Sami is anxious and even Solo shows a bit of stress as Riddle is still in this. But Sami says Jey has Riddle where they want him. Jey stands Riddle up but Riddle CHOPS and CHOPS and fires off fast hands! Jey ducks the roundhouse, to POP-UP NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!! Riddle survives but still in a bad way as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Riddle wipes out both Usos! Riddle BROTONS Jimmy then tags in Kevin! Kevin goes up top fast, to SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Sami is stressing out as Kevin keeps focus on Jimmy. Jimmy rises slowly and Sami tries to warn him, but Jimmy turns around into a kick! But Jimmy stops the Stunner! Kevin stops the superkick, to SUPERKICK back! Kevin whips, but Jimmy slips off the pop-up to SUPERKICK! Both men are down and fans fire up! Both men crawl, hot tags to Jey and Riddle! Riddle spins Jey around to PELE! Then Riddle kips up, but Jey mule kicks and UPPERCUTS!

Riddle goes to ropes, Jey run sin but Riddle headscissors him out of the ring! Riddle hurries back in, Sami helps Jey stand up. Kevin storms over but Solo stands in the way! The ref warns Solo, but then Riddle PLANCHAS to take Solo out! Jey SUPERKICKS Kevin! Riddle FLASH KNEES Jey! Riddle puts Jey in, tells Sami to back off, but Jimmy tags in! Riddle rushes Jey but Jimmy storms in. Riddle ROCKS Jimmy, Jey USPERKICKS Riddle! ONE D on the rebound!! Cover, USOS WIN!

Winners: The Usos, by pinfall (still Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions)

The Bloodline’s numbers game is the real unstoppable force in the WWE! And now Sami and the Usos mug Riddle! But Kevin has a chair! He SMACKS Jimmy, and he SMACKS Jey! Sami gets away but Kevin chases him to the back! Solo gets in the ring to SUPERKICK Riddle! Solo fires off on Riddle with heavy fists! Fans boo but the Enforcer isn’t done with Riddle yet. Solo has a taped up thumb, shoutout to Umaga with the SAMOAN SPIKE!! Riddle sputters and crawls to a corner, Solo runs in to HIP ATTACK!! Solo’s rage is unleashed as he gets a chair for himself.

Solo puts the chair around Riddle’s head, punches Riddle down, then goes to the far corner. Fans boo as hard as they can but Solo roars and runs in, FULL METAL HIP ATTACK!!! Riddle writhes and clutches his neck! Medics rush out and put Riddle in a neck brace and onto a backboard. Did Solo just sideline The Bro all on his own?

 

BREAKING NEWS for SmackDown!

Sheamus and Drew McIntyre wanted to challenge the winners to an Undisputed Tag Team Championship match this Friday, but the Scottish Warrior is unfortunately not cleared medically. That means the Celtic Warrior will have “Butch” as his new tag partner! Will Pete Dunne be able to help Sheamus against the Usos? Or will it be more of the same from The Bloodline?

 

The Judgment Day speaks.

Rhea says, “Bayley and Asuka, they’re both credible. They’ve both been Women’s Champion, they’ve both been Women’s Tag Team Champion. They’re both very, very good at what they do. But you know what they’re not? They’re not Rhea bloody Ripley! So when I’m done with them tonight and they’re laying in that ring crying their eyes out and I move on to Bianca Belair for the Raw Women’s Championship, and when I’m done with Bianca, the whole Raw Women’s locker room will be calling me Mami.” The Judgment Day like that, and then Rhea high-fives as she heads out. Will the Eradicator eliminate everyone in her path to the title?

 

JBL’s Poker Invitational begins!

Tamina, Dana Brooke, Shelton Benjamin, Dominik Mysterio and Akira Tozawa are one table, while Chad Gable, Luke Gallows and Baron Corbin are another. Otis has a huge plate of sausage but he isn’t sharing. JBL walks over to say, “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the JBL Poker Invitational, an event that’ll become as big a tradition as The Masters, the Olympics, and as grand a spectacle as WrestleMania. Now, I know a lot of you don’t see eye to eye, and Tozawa… Nobody likes you. But poker is a gentlemen’s, and gentlewoman’s, sport. Especially in the high stakes room. The rules are simple: It is a dime ante. 10, 20K-”

BOOM! Dexter Lumis enters with Johnny Gargano, and he drops the Louis Vuitton bag full of cash he won from The Miz! JBL assumes Crystal Lake doesn’t get mail, but Jason Vorhees here needs an invitation. And JBL is pretty sure he didn’t invite the… one-and-a-half of them. Besides, Lumis can’t possibly have the 50K buy-in. So go stare at someone else. Gargano says “Show ’em.” And Lumis dumps the money out! Well okay! Welcome to the tournament! Lumis has a seat at the table, will anyone be able to crack that poker face?

 

Triple Threat: Bayley VS Rhea Ripley VS Asuka!

A Role Model, an Eradicator and an Empress walk into the ring, but this ain’t no joke! Only one can move on to the next round, who will be one step closer to facing The RawEST Women’s Champion?

But then surprisingly, Becky Lynch calls to Bayley from up in the bleachers! “Hey, ol’ pal! Well, I dunno if I can call ya pal anymore, seeing as how you and your cronies keep trying to jump me.” Fans cheer Becky on and she says, “I was just up at the merch stand, reminiscing about how fun it was last week, me beating up Bayley and her two cronies at one time. That was awesome.” Bayley says it’d be more awesome if Becky could hurry this up. Bayley has stuff to do. Well Becky wants Bayley to know that first, this is a great fan sign, #BigTimeBecky. But did Bayley also know that it’s been over three years since they faced each other 1v1?

Becky says they didn’t even scratch the surface back then. She was gone, Bayley showed up, but kudos to Bayley for carrying the WWE during the ThunderDome era! She really did! She was champion, Double Champion, sometimes doing double and triple duty. Bayley says the fans can cheer for that. The fans do cheer! Becky says Bayley was awesome, but then Becky came back right as Bayley was gone. And then Bayley came back right as Becky was gone. Bayley says she’s kinda repeating herself, and we all know the history. But Becky has a match so she should go, and also Bayley has a match right now that she’s about to win.

So the point is, Becky doesn’t need to tell Bayley’s history. That doesn’t matter now. Stop living in the past! Becky came down the stairs, she’s interrupting matches and Bayley’s “Magic!” Becky thinks she can just do whatever she wants, huh? Yeah, actually, she does. Becky was just trying to catch up. But Bayley says the difference between them, now more than ever, when Becky is here, it’s all about her, isn’t it? Fans cheer Becky because they definitely like her. Bayley says the fans just make it worse. Becky doesn’t care about the fans or anyone else! BAYLEY cares about the fans and the wrestlers!

And that’s what Bayley has been doing while Becky’s been gone. That’s why Bayley has Dakota Kai & Iyo Sky. She looks out of the future for the idiot fans! And the locker room! Bayley sees the bigger picture, but Becky just looks in the mirror! No one cheers, huh? That’s because no one has respect for what Bayley’s doing! Fans still cheer Becky. Becky says Bayley is looking out for people, and DMG CTRL has been successful. Well, two thirds have been, because there’s two champs and one loser. But hey, good luck tonight. Maybe they can finally go 1v1 again and make some history. If Bayley’s woman enough to face The Man, that is.

Becky leaves just as Rhea makes her entrance. Will Big Time Becks have to change her plans on who she’s facing next round?

Raw returns and Asuka makes her entrance. The bell rings and Asuka DROPKICKS Bayley! But Rhea rolls Asuka, ONE!! Asuka dodges Rhea’s haymaker but Bayley ROCKS her! Bayley grab at Asuka but Rhea rolls Bayley up, ONE!! Rhea kicks and stomps and KNEE SMASHES Bayley to then throw her out. Asuka runs in but Rhea catches her hip attack! Rhea CLUBS Asuka, suplexes high and hard, then covers, TWO! Rhea CLUBS Asuka, CLUBS her more, then bumps her off buckles. Fans rally for Asuka but Rhea RAMS into her again and again. Bayley runs up, but Rhea blocks the roll-up! Bayley avoids the stomp, and the two stare down.

Bayley taunts “Mami,” then dodges her haymaker to waistlock. Rhea pries the hold, bucks Bayley at the ropes, then runs in again to scoop. Bayley slips off, but Rhea blocks the punch! Rhea throws body shots, RAMS Bayley into the corner and RAMS into her more! Rhea then brings Bayley out to snap suplex! Rhea looms over Bayley, goes back to Asuka, and whips her corner to corner hard! Rhea then goes to Bayley to CLUB her down. Rhea grins as she whips corner to corner and Bayley hits buckles hard! Rhea grins more as she storms over to Asuka. Rhea stands Asuka up but Asuka throws body shots!

Rhea kicks low, TOSSES Asuka aside, then TOSSES Bayley around! Fans rally as Rhea soaks up the heat. Rhea storms over to Asuka and drags her up. Asuka throws more body shots, then kicks and a SOBAT! Bayley runs in to BLINDSIDE LARIAT Rhea, Asuka SLIDING KICKS! Asuka and Bayley come to an understanding to mug Rhea, and  they POST her! Then Bayley kicks Asuka and headlocks. Asuka fires body shots, powers out and runs Bayley over! Bayley goes to the apron, she avoids the hip attack and she drags Asuka out to throw her into barriers! Bayley CLUBS Asuka, but Rhea CANNONBALLS them both! Fans fire up as Rhea laughs, and Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Bayley paces around as Rhea smothers Asuka into the mat with a forearm. Seems Bayley and Rhea now have that understanding, and Rhea sits Asuka up for Bayley to stomp down. Bayley talks trash, Rhea slaps Asuka around, and they drag Asuka up. Rhea bumps Asuka off buckles, then Rhea whips Bayley in, but Asuka puts her on the apron! Asuka dodges Rhea, URAKEN, URAKEN, SOBAT, KICK and URAKEN to an AX HANDLE! But Rhea blocks the whip! Rhea whips Asuka to a corner, but Asuka dodges! ROUNDHOUSE! Bayley runs in but is sent into Bayley! Rhea SLAMS Bayley, but Asuka uses Bayley as a step to BOOT Rhea!

Fans fire up as Asuka SOBATS Rhea again. Asuka headlocks Rhea, runs at Bayley, but only the LRIAT Hits as Rhea fights the bulldog. Rhea runs in, Asuka dodges, CODE BREAKER! Cover, TWO! Asuka fires up and fans are with her as she watches Rhea and Bayley sit up. Asuka KICKS Rhea, she KICKS Bayley, then back to Rhea! Another for Bayley! Rhea! Bayley, but she ducks! Roll-up, TWO! Bayley kicks but into an ANKLE LOCK! Bayley flails, reaches out, pulls at Asuka’s hair but that won’t stop this. Rhea gets up and storms over, but Bayley grabs Rhea’s hair! Rhea HEADBUTTS Bayley, and Asuka GERMAN SUPLEXES her!

Asuka avoids a kick from Rhea to ROUNDHOUSE Rhea down! Fans fire up but Bayley drags Asuka out! Bayley hurries back in, she calls to Rhea, and Rhea shakes out the cobwebs. Rhea stands up and Bayley still wants to work together. Rhea says she won’t let Bayley boss her around. Bayley says okay, and then she lunges! Into a choke grip! Rhea know that was coming, but Bayley ROCKS her with a forearm! Rhea ROCKS Bayley, Bayley ROCKS Rhea, repeat! Bayley pulls hair but Rhea throws body shots! Bayley hits back, Rhea throws more! Asuka leaps for a DOUBLE CODE BREAKER!! Cover on Rhea, TWO!! Cover on Bayley, TWO!!

Fans fire up and Asuka hurries to a corner. Asuka climbs but Bayley is after her! They brawl, Asuka sends Bayley down then leaps, MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! ASUKA LOCK!!! Bayley flails, reaches out, crawls around with her one free arm, but Rhea returns! Rhea basement dropkicks them both! Cover on Asuka, TWO! Rhea is frustrated but fans rally up. Rhea drags Asuka up to short arm LARIAT! Rhea drags Asuka up again, for another short arm LARIAT! Fans fire up, Rhea drags Asuka up again, but Asuka turns lariat to ARMBAR TAKEDOWN!! Rhea flails, kicks, but Bayley MACHO ELBOWS Asuka! Cover on Asuka, TWO!!

Bayley frowns as she drags herself back up. Bayley runs to CLOBBER Asuka, then she rains down fists! Bayley drags Asuka back up, BAYLEY2BELLY! Cover, Rhea breaks it!! Rhea reels Bayley in for a HEADBUTT! And another! And another! And then a NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Rhea grows frustrated but she turns her attention to Asuka. Asuka kicks, but into an Electric Chair Lift! And SLAM!! Cover, TWO!!! Asuka survives and Rhea cannot believe it! Fans fire up, Rhea hurries to DROPKICK Bayley out of the ring! Rhea hurries outside, runs in around the way, but Bayley KICKS her legs out! Bayley hurries in, ducks a kick and clinches! BAYLEY2- ROLL UP! TWO!!!

Asuka URAKENS! URKAENS! SOBATS! Bayley ducks the next hand, RAMS Asuka to a corner, then runs in, into  a ROUNDHOUSE!! Asuka goes up, MISSILE- NO, Bayley deflects it! ROSE PLANT!!! Cover, BAYLEY WINS!

Winner: Bayley, by pinfall (advances to next week)

Rhea is furious, but she takes it out on Asuka! Rhea kicks Asuka around, then pump handles for the RIPTIDE!! Bayley grins as she moves on, but who will she meet in the #1 contender’s match?

 

Seth Rollins is here!

DC sings for The Visionary as he swaggers his way to the ring. Rollins is here in DC to welcome them to Monday Night Rollins! “you know me, you love me. I am the Visionary, I am the revolutionary, I am Seth… “FREAKIN’ ROLLINS!” And Rollins has big news for DC! “One week from tonight, yours truly is going to go one-on-one with The All Mighty Bobby Lashley! And the winner of that there little match will be your new #1 contender to the United States Championship.” And he’d love to say a lot of things to ol’ “Bob,” but it’s not fun if he’s not out here. And DC wants to have fun, right? The fans cheer and Rollins says they had fun singing his song.

Fans sing again, “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” But then here comes Lashley! Fans cheer as he walks out on stage in a crimson and black suit to counter Rollins’ sky blue and white one. Lashley goes to the ring with a mic of his own to say, “So, Seth, I’m here. So what would you like to tell me. Now be careful with that.” Rollins wants Lashley to hold on. Lashley just hasn’t been the same since Crown Jewel and that loss to Brock Lesnar. And there’s no shame in losing to Lesnar! Been there, done that. But what is with Lashley’s Lesnar obsession? Is Lashley… scared of Lesnar? Rollins knows Lesnar is bigger and stronger-

Lashley stops Rollins there because he knows Rollins is just trying to get under his skin and rattle his cage. No, no, no! Rollins accepts Lashley isn’t afraid. So then… He must be jealous of Lesnar. That’s it! Because Lesnar’s a bigger star, won more championships. That’s gotta be it. Lesnar had the career Lashley wishes he had. Lashley grabs Rollins by his hair to tell him this is NOT about Lesnar! This is about Rollins, Lashley, and the US Championship that should be around Lashley’s waist. Rollins says okay, but just relax. Bob knows as well as Rollins does that the US title won’t fill the void in Lashley’s heart left by the fact that he can’t beat Lesnar.

If Lashley doesn’t get his head right, he can’t get his temper right, and beating him will be a lot easier for Rollins than the first. time. Lashley DECKS Rollins for that! Rollins gets up and they brawls! Fans fire up as Lashley has the edge on Rollins! Lashley throws knees, then he throws Rollins out! Lashley goes out but Rollins jumps on him! Lashley RAMS Rollins into barriers, whips him into more barriers, and DC fires up as Rollins comes back for more! They go around, brawling right on the barriers! Referees and security rush out to stop this! Rollins claws Lashley’s face! The fans want to “Let Them Fight!” and Rollins gets free to CLOBBER Lashley!

The brawling keeps going, Adam Pearce tries to stop this, and Lashley stands down while Rollins slides into the ring. Fans sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~” and Lashley storms back in! They brawl in the ring again! Lashley RAMS Rollins into a corner! The hands keep flying but management and referees separate them again. Lashley gets loose, Rollins moves, the SPEAR hits one of the producers! Pearce shouts at Lashley and Rollins says Lashley has done it now! Producer Pete Williams is hurting, will Lashley have to face the consequences?

 

Backstage interview with Austin Theory.

Byron Saxton asks the WWE United States Champion what we just saw in the “absolute chaos” between Rollins and Lashley. Theory says he saw the past. Two former champs are fighting over scraps, oblivious to the fact that the business has evolved and forgotten about both of them. This business lives in the now, where it’s Theory’s time, and he has all the cards! And let’s face it, what’s a couple of challenges to Theory’s reign when the forever is just beginning? But then he turns around into Mustafa Ali! “Forever, huh? Theory, you just love writing checks that you know you can’t cash in. Oh, ‘cash-in,’ you probably don’t like hearing those words.”

Theory says Ali is annoying! He constantly whines and complains about opportunities, then gets beat down. Why doesn’t Ali just quit? Because Ali isn’t like Theory. Ali has to fight for what he has. He has to fight for opportunities! So know this: Theory can put Ali down but he’ll get back up, back in Theory’s face, and become US Champion. Fine! If Ali wants his shot, and his chance to shock the world, then they’ll do this tonight. But after Theory finishes with Ali, Theory never EVER wants to hear the word “opportunity” comes out of Ali’s sorry mouth again. Theory storms off, but will The Beacon bring the end to “The Now” that is Theory’s reign?

 

Raw checks back in with the JBL Poker Invitational.

Lumis still has fat stacks while the others mull over their hands. JBL has his Ugandan whiskey brought in by the waiter, and gives him a great tip. JBL watches as Corbin’s table moves along. Gable folds, a thank yew. But gentlemen, ladies, the game of poker is about intelligence. The intelligence to know when to push forward, and when to walk away. Gallows says, “NERD!” Gable shouts, “SHOOSH!” “NERD!” “SHOOSH!” This goes back and forth and Corbin has them stop. Take some chill pills. Corbin can’t get a ready on the freak show over here with those two shouting nonsense.

Corbin says Lumis has to be bluffing. He sees through those eyes. Lumis has nothing in his hand, or his head, and Corbin will take all his money and send him back to the loony bin where he belongs. Corbin calls! Corbin has a Straight, 5 through 9! Lumis has… a FULL HOUSE! Three Aces, two Jacks! JBL can’t believe it, either! Corbin says it’s been this way all night! Lumis is some kind of savant. Otis likes croissants. No, savants. Well, those are good, too. Lumis has to be a cheater! No way could he beat Corbin! There have to be cards up his sleeves, in those gloves. Gargano, don’t defend him! Corbin is gonna hand Lumis a-

Lumis has an AX! Whoa, okay, easy now. Corbin and JBL accept Lumis is just that good. Meanwhile, Tozawa is cleaning up on his table! But then Tozawa catches Dom trying to palm a few chips! THIEF!! Thief? This is DOM’S show! Whatever he wants, he gets. And if Tozawa has as problem with that, then the Judgment Day has a problem with Tozawa! Oh, yeah? Well, Tozawa doesn’t care! Dom is the problem. The two stand up, and Dom says Tozawa’s almost as short as his deadbeat dad. JBL has these two settle down. No fighting in the poker room. Go outside if you wanna fight. Tozawa will see Dom in the ring! Yeah he will!

Dom and Tozawa back out of the game for now, but who will be the big winner in the ring?

 

WWE United States Championship: Austin Theory VS Mustafa Ali!

The self-proclaimed Now of WWE has always had a big ego, and many times that ego has cost him. Will it cost him everything he’s worked for here tonight? Or will Theory leave The Beacon in the dark after this high stakes showdown?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who truly represents the future of the WWE!

Fans boo Theory as he and Ali tie up. Theory shoves Ali down and tells him Ali’s wasting his time. Ali comes back to headlock, but Theory powers up. Ali thrashes, Theory powers out and runs Ali over. “What’d I say? You’re wasting your time! You’re in the now.” Theory stands Ali up but Ali puts him in the corner. Ali CHOPS, but Theory just scowls through it. Theory CLOBBERS Ali, brushes himself off, and storms after Ali again. Theory digs his knee into Ali, dares him to do something, but lets off as the ref counts. Theory storms around, whips Ali corner to corner, then he runs in. Ali goes up and over, keeps moving, ducks ‘n’ dodges and tilt-o-whirl RANAS!

Theory bails out but Ali dropkicks him off the apron! Ali builds speed, and he DIVES! Direct hit at the ramp and fans fire up! Ali stalks Theory, brings him up, but Theory breaks free. Theory baits Ali and Ali runs in, Theory POSTS him with an alley-oop! “You’re in the now! You hear me? You’re in the NOW!” Theory RAMS Ali into barriers! Theory asks Ali how that feels while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Ali throws haymakers on Theory! Ali backs Theory down to a corner but Theory turns it around. Theory swings but Ali dodges to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Ali whips corner to corner, Theory reverses but Ali slips out and ROUNDHOUSES Theory away! Ali slingshots, somersaults, and NECKBREAKERS! Fans fire up but Theory fireman’s carries! Ali slips off to BACKSTABBER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Theory crawls to a corner and Ali stands up. Ali storms over, but into an elbow! Theory goes up but Ali ROCKS him first! Ali climbs up after Theory, to SUPER- NO, Theory blocks! Wait, they tip over and Theory still hits the mat!

Theory flounders up, Ali runs in, tilt-o-whirl DDT! Cover, TWO!! Theory survives the rough landing then the rougher impact, but Ali is not losing focus yet. Ali hurries to a corner but Theory anchors a foot. Ali stomps him down then climbs back up. Fans rally but Theory trips Ali up! Theory throws haymakers, puts Ali in a Tree of Woe to the outside, and then Theory stomps away on the apron! The ref counts, Theory backs off, only to go back in for more! The ref counts as Theory stomps away. Theory finally gets in the ring, then he drags Ali up to rain down fists! Fans boo, the ref has Theory back off.

Theory snarls but then DOLPH ZIGGLER SUPERKICKS him!!!

Winner: Austin Theory, by disqualification (still WWE United States Champion)

Ali can’t believe it! Theory wins and it isn’t even because of him! Ali gets mad at Ziggler but Ziggler says his beef is with Theory. Ali and Ziggler argue now, but then Theory CLOBBERS them both! Theory rains down fists on Ziggler, then he drags Ali up to POST him! Fans chant “YOU STILL SUCK!” as Theory drags Ziggler up for A-TOWN DOWN! The Show Off cost Ali and didn’t even get the better of Theory. Will Theory stay the now and become the forever of the WWE?

 

JBL is on the phone with someone.

He’s loving this! No one could’ve put on a better poker tournament. The money is everywhere! The Miz then walks in and JBL hangs up. JBL is happy to see Miz, and Miz says there was probably a slight oversight not inviting Miz. Oh, sorry, he didn’t know Miz played cards. Miz can jump in, if he has the 50K. Right… About that… After Miz’s “financial improprieties,” he isn’t very liquid. JBL knows how crypto can be, right? But c’mon, JBL knows Miz is good for it! JBL says he’d love to, but Miz hasn’t been good at paying off debts. Everyone had cash on them. Miz can give him his Rolex! Oh, that is a nice watch… Wait. Miz does know this isn’t real, right?

What?! The second hand ticks… Miz is offended and he hurries off. Well, so much for that. Will Miz find a way to get in on the game where a certain you-know-who is playing?

 

Raw returns and we continue with the poker game.

Corbin says read ’em and weep! Four of a Kind, KINGS! The table can’t believe it, but Corbin says Lady Luck is just on his side. But as Corbin leans over to grab the pot, MORE cards fall out of his sleeve! Corbin accused Lumis and he’s the one cheating?! Corbin says he’s not a cheater, someone put those in there! Styles and Corbin start shoving! JBL stops this, he JUST said no fighting! What is wrong with all of you!? They’re ruining his tournament! Okay then. Corbin, get your gear on and bring the Alphas with you. The OC heads out, will they make Corbin pay for playing dirty? JBL shouts, “What is wrong with these idiots?!”

So… Does Lumis win his table by default? Big tip for the dealer. That was easy! Great job, man! Let’s get this stuff in the bag. Tamina sneaks a few bills for herself. Will Lumis be the big winner by the end of tonight?

 

Backstage interview with Bianca Belair.

Cathy Kelley asks the RawEST Women’s Champion that Bayley is moving on to next week’s #1 contenders match, against whoever wins the second Triple Threat. How does Bianca feel knowing Bayley will get another opportunity? What Bayley did was impressive, but Bianca knows how to handle Bayley. But Bianca would be proud to face any of the women in the Triple Threat matches, even Rhea Ripley, who could’ve handled the loss more gracefully instead of taking her frustrations out on Bianca’s girl, Asuka. Then who does Bianca see winning the second Triple Threat?

Bianca knows Alexa, Becky and Nikki are all dangerous competitors in their own right. Bianca and Alexa grew closer taking on DMG CTRL, but she knows why Alexa was once champion and running the whole division. Nikki, on the other hand, is just unpredictable that could surprise anyone at anytime. And Becky has challenged Bianca more than any rival ever, but at the end, they have to be ready for Bianca. Bianca stays ready so she doesn’t have to get ready. Will Bianca be ready for whoever it is that comes out the NEW #1 contender?

 

Six Man Tag: The OC VS Baron Corbin & The Alpha Academy!

AJ Styles and the Good Brothers may not have come out the winners against Judgment Day, but they aren’t about to let JBL’s golden boy get the better of them at poker! Will the Original, Official and ONLY Club that matters be Too Sweet in DC? Or will Chad Gable & Otis help the Modern Day Wrestling God continue his winning ways?

Raw returns as JBL leads the way for his protégé. Corbin makes his entrance, followed by “SHOOOOSH~!” The trios sort out and JBL joins commentary. Corbin and Styles start, they tie up and Corbin knees low! Corbin ROCKS Styles, CLUBS him down, then runs to run Styles over! Fans boo but Corbin soaks up the heat. Corbin drags Styles up but Styles JAWBREAKERS! Styles CHOPS and ROCKS and whips, but Corbin reverses. Styles KICKS Corbin, and hits a DDT! Styles tags Karl but Corbin gets away. Gable tags in, and Gable circles with the Machine Gun. They tie up, Gable waistlocks and spins Karl to a snapmare.

Gable pushes Karl down, facelocks, gator rolls, and he waistlocks to then get a leg. Gable ties the legs up and says, “A THANK YEW~!” Gable floats to a facelock, headlocks, but Karl fights up to power out. Gable runs Karl over, “A THANK YEW~!” Gable runs, Karl drops to then hip toss! Fans fire up as Karl tags Gallows and the Good Brothers double whip. They run Gable over, then Gallows drags Gable up. Gallows wristlocks, Gable endures and rolls to bridge and handspring. Gable spins, breaks free, then says, “SHOOOOSH~!” Gallows says, “NERD~!” They start this up again, “SHOOOSH!” “NERD!” then Gallows UPPERCUTS Gable!

Tag to Karl, Karl brings Gable out but Gable throat chops! Gable bumps Karl off buckles, tags Corbin, and Corbin mugs Karl. Corbin puts Karl in a corner, fires off hands, then tags Otis. Otis RAMS into Karl, and again, and again! Otis picks Karl up to DUMP him down, then he snarls at Gallows. Otis drags Karl around to CLUB him down! Tag to Corbin, they mug Karl, then Corbin CLUBS Karl down. Fans rally but Corbin stands Karl up. Karl ORCKS and CHOPS and ROCKS Corbin again, but Corbin shoves him away. Corbin runs in, Karl moves, but Corbin slides out to slide in and LARIAT! Cover, TWO!

Corbin argues the count but the ref defnds it was just two. Corbin shouts out JBL and JBL cheers Corbin on. Corbin stands Karl up, CLUBS him down, then throws down elbow after elbow! Gable soaks up the heat for Corbin while Otis says that’s hammer time. Fans chant at “BUM ASS CORBIN!” Corbin back suplexes Karl but Karl lands on his feet! Hot tag to Styles! Corbin rushes in but Styles ROCKS him! Styles springboards, but Corbin gets under! Styles rolls through to ELBOW Gable, BLAST Otis, and runs back at Corbin to fire off a Phenomenal Blitz! Corbin flounders, Styles runs, but Gable dumps him out!

Otis CLOBBERS Styles! Fans boo but Gable says, ‘SHOOOOSH~! A THANK YEW~!” Fans boo more but Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and the Academy stomps a mudhole into Styles! The ref counts, they let off, and Otis drags Styles up. Otis CLUBS Styles, CLUBS him again, then drags Styles up to snapmare. Otis runs to SPLASH! Styles writhes and Otis snarls. Otis drags Styles up again, tags in Corbin, and they mug Styles. Corbin ROCKS Styles with a haymaker, then throws him up and out. Styles shoulders into Corbin, slingshots up and in but Corbin DECKS Styles out of the air! Cover, TWO! Corbin rains down fists while JBL talks down on the “flippy floppy” styles. Corbin puts Styles in the corner, tag to Gable, and the mugging continues.

Gable snapmares Styles and has a mounted armlock. Gable steps over to wrench the arm, fans rally up and Styles fight sup. Styles throws haymakers and reaches out, but Gable keeps him from the Good Brothers. Styles throws more hands but Gable throws him down! Gable BLASTS Karl, then tells Gallows to “SHOOSH~!” Gable drags Styles up, reels him in but Styles back drops! Hot tag to Gallows! But the ref was busy with an angry Karl! He says Gallows isn’t legal! Gable drags Styles up, and feeds him to a DEEP SIX!! Gable covers, TWO!! Styles survives and Gable is stunned! Tag to Otis, the Alphas drag Styles up to put him in a corner.

Otis SPLASHES, then whips Styles corner to corner. Otis runs in but Styles dodges to PELE! Down goes Otis! Fans fire up as Styles crawls, hot tags to Gable and Karl! Karl rallies on Gable, scoops him and SLAMS him! Karl runs to drop a SENTON! Then he BLASTS Corbin off the apron! Gable runs in, into a BOOT! Karl goes up, FLYING NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up as Karl drags Gable up to fireman’s carry. Gable fights off, shoves, dodges, but Gable rolls to pick the leg to an ANKLE LOCK! Karl rolls to throw him away! Gable goes up, leaps, but into a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, Corbin breaks it!

Styles runs in, but into a CHOKE SLAM BACKBRAEKER! Corbin ELBOWS Gallows, puts Karl in a corner, and then he runs. Karl moves, Corbin slides out, but slides into a SLIDING FOREARM! Gallows BOOTS Corbin for good measures! Otis ROCKS Gallows, scoops him and EXPLODERS! Fans fire up as Styles PHENOMENAL FOREARMS Otis!! Gable gets in to GERMAN SUPLEX Styles! Karl waistlocks, Gable victory rolls, TWO!! Gable ROCKS Karl, Karl ROCKS Gable! ROLLING ELBOW from Gable! UPPERCUT from Karl! Both men are down and DC fires up again! Even JBL admits “This is Awesome!”

Karl crawls to tag in Gallows! Gable avoids Karl, O’Conner Rolls, but Gallows tips it over! Gallows kicks Gable, he and Anderson hit MAGIC KILLER!! Cover, The OC wins!!

Winners: The OC, by pinfall

JBL claims cheating, but he clearly missed a move or two. The OC wins fair and square, unlike Corbin. Will Styles & The Good Brothers turn their fortunes around and take over Raw?

 

Backstage interview with Candice LeRae.

Byron congratulates her on a victorious return to the ring last week, beating Dakota Kai. And because of that win, Candice has to face the other half of the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, Iyo Sky. Does Candice feel that now she’s a marked woman by DMG CTRL? Absolutely. She may be new to Raw but she’s known all those women a long time. Last week, Candice returned from an injury they were responsible for, so she had to send a message. Yes, Candice is here with burnt pixie wings, but she’s also a new mom. She has so much to fight for now. She won’t let anyone push her around. But little does she know, Nikki Cross is spying on Candice…

But then Johnny Gargano walks over to say hi to the wifey. She says hi to hubby, and how did poker go? Lumis won! He killed it! Look at all the money! WHAT THE- Uh… Sorry. Candice hates to be that person, but this is a lot of money. They’re gonna go now. What will The Garganos and Lumis do with that huge amount of money? And what is Nikki plotting for the Poison Pixie?

 

Dominik Mysterio w/ The Judgment Day VS Akira Tozawa!

The rebellious son of Rey Mysterio thinks Raw belongs to him now, but pretty much everyone outside the Judgment Day disagrees. Will the Stamina Monster prove Dom can’t do whatever he wants? Or will he end up just another victim?

The bell rings and Dom circles with Tozawa. Tozawa dodges Dom to SOBAT, but Dom ducks the spin kick! Tozawa slides under to ROLLING ELBOW! Dom staggers, Tozawa whips, but Dom stops. They kick each other, Tozawa fires off more hands, then he whips Dom to a corner. Dom reverses, runs in, but Tozawa boots him away. Tozawa goes up, leaps and RANAS Dom to the other side! Fans fire up with Tozawa but Dom stays back. Dom wants mercy, but then he YANKS Tozawa into buckles! Dom stomps a mudhole into Tozawa and the Judgment Day cheers while fans boo. Dom drags Tozawa up to snap suplex! Uno Amigo!

Fans boo as Dom snap suplexes again, Dos Amigos! Dom gives some Latino Heat before THREE AMIGOS! Cover, ONE!! Fans rally but Dom clamps on with a chinlock. Tozawa fights up but Dom CLUBS him. Dom whips, Tozawa pops up to RANA again! And then SHINING WIZARD! Cover, TWO!! Dom survives and Judgment Day gets worried. Tozawa CLUBS Dom, whips, but Dom reverses. Tozawa BOOTS Dom down, then waits on Dom to get up. Roll-up, BUZZSAW! Dom is dazed, Tozawa drags him to a drop zone. Fans fire up as Tozawa climbs! Rhea shouts at Dom to get moving, Tozawa leaps! SUPER SENTON FLOPS as Dom moves!

Rhea and the Judgment Day laugh, Dom drags Tozawa into a drop zone. Dom climbs up now, gives Latino Heat before the FROG SPLASH! Cover, Dom wins!

Winner: Dominik Mysterio, by pinfall

The Judgment Day is proud of their boy, but Dom drags Tozawa up. Fans boo but here come the Street Profits! Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins rush out to run the Judgment Day off. Finn, Dom, Priest & Rhea don’t sweat the Profits, but will they cross paths down the road all the same?

 

Adam Pearce finds Bobby Lashley backstage.

Pearce tells Lashley they need to talk about what happened earlier tonight. Lashley can’t hit one of Pearce’s officials. That Spear damn near cut Pete Williams in half. Lashley chuckles but then sees Pearce is serious. Yes, he’s serious! It’s a problem that they can’t have happen. Now, Pearce knows it was an accident, he was there to see it. He’s not going to punish Lashley or take away the #1 contender’s match. But if it happens again… Or what, Pearce? Well, put yourself in his position. If it happens again, Pearce’s hands are tied, and he doesn’t want it to happen. Lashley says if one of the cronies gets in the lion’s den and gets mauled by a lion, the lion gets punished?

No, that’s not what he means. Pearce knows this was an accident, but he just wants Lashley to be careful not to have another one. Then make sure no one stands in Lashley’s way. Lashley leaves, will he be able to focus on just Rollins next week?

 

Triple Threat: Becky Lynch VS Alexa Bliss VS Nikki Cross!

The Man made a big time promise, but she has to make it through both the Five Foot Fury and the No Longer a Superhero. Bayley awaits the winner, who is heading to Milwaukee for that #1 contenders match?

Raw returns and Becky makes her entrance. The bell rings and fans fire up, and Nikki swings her jacket around all wild. She shoves Becky, shoves Alexa, but then Becky throat jabs her! Alexa SHOTGUNS Nikki and Nikki flounders out of the ring! Becky waves bye, and then circles with Alexa. Fans rally for Becky but Alexa gets around her to waistlock. Becky bucks that, runs in but Alexa side steps to jump, into a FLAPJACK! Becky steps over but Alexa rolls her up, TWO! Becky sweeps and covers, TWO! Alexa trips to jackknife, but Becky bridges up! Becky spins Alexa around, backslides, TWO!

Becky avoids a sweep but not the CHPO! Snapmare, cover, TWO as Becky goes Matrix! Becky mule kicks Alexa, dropkicks Nikki off the apron, and then turns around, into a clinch! You don’t think…?! But Becky fights out of that to clinch back, only for Alexa to wheelbarrow and victory roll! TWO, Alexa hurries to wrench and STO! Fans fire up while Becky clutches her head. Alexa storms up to drop knees! But Nikki stops Insult2Injury to throw Alexa onto Becky! Nikki then grins as she watches both women crawl. Nikki runs at one corner to SPLASH Alexa! Then she SPLASHES Becky! Then SPLASHES Alexa! Then back to Becky!

Nikki keeps going but Alexa dodges! Becky uses Alexa as a step, BIG TIME IN MOTION! Becky fires forearms and stomps a mudhole into Nikki, then JUMP KICKS! And then she JUMP KICKS Alexa! Becky reels Nikki in for a BECKSPLODER! Nikki flounders away but Alexa storms up. Alexa SLAPS Becky, ROCKS her, then KNEES her, then SHOTGUNS her down! Fans fire up as Alexa runs in at the corner, but Becky dodges the double knees! Alexa blocks the jump kick this time, puts Becky on the apron, but Becky ROCKS Alexa! Becky brings Alexa over to bump her off buckles! Becky throws Alexa down, but Nikki trips Becky!

Nikki dribbles Becky’s face off the apron! Nikki growls, then RAMS Becky into steel steps! Alexa leaps off those steps, but Nikki blocks the DDT to RAM Alexa into the apron! Then THE PURGE to the floor! Nikki fires up and she pulls the desk apart! DC fires up as she clears it off, chugs water and splashes it all around! Nikki laughs and flails around while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Nikki thrashes Alexa around before clamping on a chinbar half nelson combo. Alexa endures, claws at the hold, fights up and fans rally. Alexa throws body shots but Nikki throws her down! Nikki laughs at Alexa and wraps her up in a straitjacket stretch. Alexa endures again, even as Nikki grinds her into the mat. Alexa kicks around, Nikki keeps her down, and fans rally up. Alexa fights to her feet and throws body shots. Alexa ROCKS Nikki with forearm after forearm but Nikki shoves her away. Nikki kicks, ties her up, STRAITJACKET NECKBREAKER! But Becky CLOBBERS Nikki with flying forearms!

Fans fire up as Becky rocks and uppercuts and SOBATS Nikki, then repeats the process! Fans fire up more and Becky blocks a kick to sweep the legs! She rolls Nikki to then hit a BULLDOG! Becky puts Nikki in a corner, KICKS her in the back and hits an STO! Nikki flounders in the drop zone and Becky goes up. Fans fire up for the MAN’s LEG DROP! Cover, TWO!! Becky is amused that Nikki survives, and fans rally up. Becky eggs Nikki on. “You wanna be crazy? Get the hell up!” Becky slaps and CLUBS Nikki, then reels her in. Nikki fights the clinch, Becky shoves her away to try again, BECKSPLODER!

But Alexa returns to SOBAT! Alexa reels Becky in but Becky wrenches out! Becky has the arm but Alexa denies the takedown and puts Becky on the apron. Becky ROCKS Alexa, Nikki grabs at her but Becky kicks her away. Alexa POSTS Becky! Becky falls, Alexa to the apron to CANNONBALL Nikki and Becky together! Fans fire up as Alexa drags Nikki up and puts her in. Alexa hurries to cover, TWO! Alexa grows frustrated but she drags Nikki around to a drop zone. Alexa stomps Nikki on her way to the corner. Alexa climbs up, but Becky grabs at her. Alexa kicks Becky away but Nikki trips Alexa! Nikki climbs, she and Alexa brawl!

Nikki brings Alexa up but Becky joins in! TOWER OF DOOM!! Cover on Nikki, TWO!! All three women are down from that powerbomb superplex combo, and Alexa crawls her way out of the ring. Fans rally and Becky drags herself up. Becky stalks Nikki, she ROCKS Nikki but Nikki ROCKS Becky! They go forearm for forearm and fans fire up as Becky gets the edge! But Nikki headbutts low, then throat chops! Nikki runs in but is put on the apron! Nikki ROCKS Becky, climbs up top, and CROSSBODIES! Cover, Alexa breaks it in time!! Nikki is fuming, but Alexa drags Nikki up. Nikki RAMS Alexa into the corner! And again, and again!

Nikki keeps on Alexa with a mudhole stomp and a SPLASH, to a BULLDOG! Nikki storms back up on Alexa but Alexa ROCKS Nikki with a right! Alexa tosses Nikki out of the ring, catches her breath and runs, but Nikki stops the dropkick! Alexa and Nikki brawl more, Nikki shoves Alexa and CROSSBODIES her against the apron! Nikki drags Alexa up and puts her in the ring. Nikki drags Alexa up through the ropes, but Alexa fights with body shots! They brawl, Alexa SLAPS Nikki but Nikki HEADBUTTS Alexa! Nikki drags Alexa out onto the ropes, but Becky is up top! THE MAN’S LEG DROP DDT COMBO!!! Becky hurries to cover Alexa, TWO!!!

Becky can’t believe it but Alexa survives! Alexa flops out of the ring now, leaving Becky and Nikki alone. Nikki crawls to the apron but Becky goes out after her! Becky clinches, but Nikki fights it! Nikki holds the ropes as Becky waistlocks! Becky keeps trying but Nikki elbows her away. Nikki knees low, then reels Becky in! Fans fire up as Becky fights the lift! Becky fights free, clinches Nikki, APRON MANHANDLE SLAM!!! Becky shoves Nikki in, but DMG CTRL rushes out there!! Kai & Sky drag Becky away from the cover!! Fans boo as they mug Becky! Dakota RAMS her into the apron!

But Becky fights back with forearms and elbows! Dakota blocks a boot and Iyo helps haul her up! They bring Becky around, DOUBLE POWERBOMB through the announce desk!!! Fans lose their minds, but Alexa hits TWISTED BLISS!! Cover, Alexa wins!!!

Winner: Alexa Bliss, by pinfall (advances to next week)

DMG CTRL screwed Becky over big time! Is Bayley that afraid to face The Man 1v1? Will Alexa make Bayley regret it by taking that golden ticket from her instead?


My Thoughts:

A pretty good Raw here, but I guess with no RawDown event between now and The Royal Rumble, they’re really having to stretch builds out. That said, we got some great Triple Threats to get a lot of the women’s roster going tonight. Pretty good promo from Becky and Bayley, though maybe a little awkwardly paced. I don’t know if they were trying to pad for time or they only had a loose idea of what they were to say, but this is all just to set up the feud we knew was coming. Both Triple Threats were awesome, but I should’ve known DMG CTRL would screw Becky. Alexa VS Bayley will be a great match but I would think Bayley loses. We can’t have Bianca VS Bayley again so soon, and there’s a lot of great story for Alexa and Bianca to use.

Rhea going after Asuka after the loss was also an interesting detail. I suppose Rhea and Asuka can feud to bide their time. Bianca and Rhea are surely going to have a feud of their own soon, and it makes all the sense for Street Profits to join in on that. They come to Tozawa’s rescue, we’re getting a Six Man Tag of that first, but then we can bring Bianca and Rhea around into another big Mixed 8 like we saw for Judgment Day VS OC. Speaking of that, why didn’t Dom VS Tozawa happen before OC VS Corbin & Alpha Academy? They left the JBL Poker Invitational first, they should’ve been dressed and ready to go first.

And speaking of the Poker Invitational, those were a pretty fun handful of segments, but I feel like it all fell apart way too soon. Corbin should’ve won one table, Lumis wins the other, and then the final showdown is the set-up to the Six Man Tag. Miz trying to get in and failing was kinda funny, especially with JBL exposing Miz having a fake Rolex. It was a very subtle way to say Miz isn’t done with Lumis, and I’m still thinking we’re getting Miz & Maryse VS Indi & Dexter at some point. Hell, we could even get Miz & Maryse VS Gargano & Candice after that fun little interaction where Candice couldn’t believe that Lumis won such a huge haul. Also Nikki stalking Candice, that’s an interesting story in the works.

Great stuff out of the US Championship scene, but I guess they couldn’t have Ali lose legit. Ziggler looks like a jerk, but maybe we’re building to something huge for the US title. Ali and Ziggler probably fight each other for sure, maybe we see some kind of ladder match for the title by the time Rumble comes around. We also got great stuff out of Rollins and Lashley, from the promo to the brawl to Pearce more or less warning Lashley. Rollins plays the line of Face and Heel with how he was poking at Lashley with the Lesnar loss. Lashley’s temper could be what costs him against Rollins, and then Rollins faces Theory for the title before the year is over, and who knows how that goes.

And what a wild start to the night. I didn’t think the tag title match was going to be first, but that gave it a lot of time to breathe. Great little way to sub Elias out to keep Kevin Owens in the story, and Solo just going nuts on Riddle with all those Umaga references was wild. Riddle being sidelined is a clever way to delay Elias going after him. But then a bit of a shame that McIntyre isn’t cleared for right now. Dunne is going to have a great part of the match now, but I think he also takes the loss for his team so Sheamus isn’t hurt too much. They’re taking a long game approach to things, I like that, and we’ll see some good stuff in building towards Sheamus VS Roman for the Rumble.

My Score: 8.6/10


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Coverage

Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 2.2.2023

Impact has a new number one contender, a few new signings and setting up for No Surrender. Lets see what happens tonight!

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We’re coming off of Rich Swann becoming the number one contender, Joe Hendry creating another banger of a parody song and Bully Ray…being more like Bitchy Ray.

Also lets not overlook the fact that Dirty Dango officially signed with IMPACT as well. Which may not be huge, but with the current addition of Santino Marella, Dango being involved in storylines for the foreseeable; there could be some good comedy in store.

There we go, a bunch of stuff got set in motion; but we could always see some interesting wrinkles or just straight forward boredom. Only one way to find out! BUT FIRST! Raven is getting The Flock back together…maybe?

Ratings:

  • Bullet Club (Ace & Bey) vs Kevin Knight & Kushida: Ace & Bey win via 1-2-Sweet – ***
  • Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal vs Savannah Evans: Gisele wins via Denouement – ** 1/4
  • Crazzy Steve w/ Black Taurus vs Sheldon Jean: Steve wins via King Kill 33 – N/A
  • Johnny Swinger w/Zicky Dice vs Kenny King: Kenny wins via Royal Flush – N/A
  • The Design (Kon, Deaner, Angels & Callihan) vs Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian, Yuya Uemura & Rich Swann: Callihan wins via Cactus Driver ’97 – ** 1/2

 

Results:

Bullet Club (Ace & Bey) vs Kevin Knight & Kushida

As much as I like Ace & Bey, a part of me would like MCMG versus Kushida and his new partner.

Early on its just counters, posing to the crowd and getting themselves over until Bey manages to sweep the leg, slingshot over the top rope for a stomp and take over a little. Knight manages to avoid a corner move, one legged Springboard Body Press, Jumping Frog Splash, and then a quick tag to Kushida. Some tandem moves from Kushida and Knight as Knight continues to mix it up with Bey.

Ace distracts Knight before the Springboard and Bey meets him in midair with a Dropkick and gets Ace in for some tandem offense and then Ace starts setting the pace. Double Arm Wringer into a tandem Back Rake. Then they wrestle Knight to the ground and keep him down for another Back Rake. Ace continues to set the pace and keep Knight mostly on the receiving end, until Knight rolls out of a lift, Ricky to Robert roll, Kushida gets the hot tag and starts clearing the ring. Bey tries Art of Finesse, Kushida catches him in a Flying Armbar but Bey turns it into a Cradle to get Kushida to break.

Electric Chair from Kushida, but before Knight can hit his Dropkick, Ace slides in and catches Knight on his back. Chicken Fight before Kushida and Knight finally hit their Tandem move but Ace makes the save. Ace wipes out Kushida, Knight forces Ace out, tries to go for a Plancha, but Bey was crotched on the top rope. As Knight tries to Plancha, Bey hits a Cutter out of nowhere on the apron. Ace sees the opening, 1-2-Sweet for the win!

Steph De Lander video package…that’s a pretty decent grab for IMPACT.

Gisele Shaw w/Jai Vidal vs Savannah Evans

Gisele faces off with Savannah and slaps her in the face a few times and refuses to back down. Savannah of course fires back, but when Gisele gets violent is when she’s at her best. After a big toss, Gisele powders, confers with Jai and the commercial kicks in. When we get back, Gisele has the advantage. But Savannah takes the short arm pull in, Side Slam for effect and distance.

Now they start trading strikes, that Savannah wins that war. A few short Lariats, Samoan Drop, and Gisele is reeling. Retreats to the corner, tries to stop Savannah with the Back Elbow, but eats a Spinebuster when she tries to continue. Fisherman’s Suplex Hold from Savannah for 2, Full Nelson Slam attempt, but Jai hits the apron and tries to seduce the referee as a distraction. Gisele hits the Denouement (Knee Strike) for the win.

The crowd is actively booing Gisele, but she powers through for her promo. It wasn’t great, but I’ll give her some credit for pushing through. 

Crazzy Steve w/ Black Taurus vs Sheldon Jean

Sheldon Jean continues the arrogance, though he’s a nobody enhancement talent. It would be nice if some of these enhancement talent wrestlers didn’t all have that same arrogant persona. We all know Steve is going to win, this is just a storytelling tool to probably add to the Trey Miguel stuff.

Steve is entertaining, but this match is more predictable than most things. He hits King Kill 33, but apparently it’s called Belladonna’s Kiss now. Trey jumps Taurus, tries to spray paint Steve, but Steve bites him and spray paints himself causing Trey to powder out of confusion/fear.

Bully comes out to complain as has been his thing the last few weeks. But thankfully Mickie returns the favor from last week and interrupts Bully. Verbal jabs, Bully Ray insults Mickie, Mickie slaps him, Bully slams her and calls in the Good Hands to get the tables. Tommy Dreamer makes a save with a kendo stick. Good Hands vs Mickie & Tommy next week. 

Oh good, this is exactly what I wanted from a few weeks ago! Kelly and Taylor will be a great team.

Johnny Swinger w/Zicky Dice vs Kenny King

Some goofy posturing and general Swinger antics. Eddy Gordo kick into Royal Flush, and Kenny gets the obvious win.

Bully has a segment in the back with Masha, and it seems like he’s a little smitten while he was trying to just manipulate her emotions to pick up the pieces after or during the tag match next week. 

Cardona and Myers try to make their own diss track song…and it was awful. It was supposed to be bad, and yes, it achieved that. It was like Miz and Morrison, without comedic talent.

The Design (Kon, Deaner, Angels & Callihan) vs Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian, Yuya Uemura & Rich Swann

Deaner barks at Callihan to start against Swann, then commands him to tag out, and a multi-man match is always a little bit of everyone gets moments. So its just odd that the heel team will be dictated by Deaner to a degree. Uemura comes in second and he reminds me so much of a young Tanahashi its crazy. Deaner calls for the tag and squares off against Josh now.

An attempted jumping in the corner, but Josh gets space and it turns into all 8 men in at once. Josh goes right after Kon and tries to assert his dominance on the “power” of The Design. After the commercial, Uemura gets rocked but Kaz saves him with a blind tag and hits some of his classic moves on Angels and Callihan. Swann comes in but Deaner and Kon manage to ground Swann and put the momentum back in the hands on The Design.

Some stupid spots take away a little from the match while Swann is getting worked over. Swann slaps his leg when he eats a Dropkick from Angels, then tries to Leapfrog Deaner and jump to his corner, Deaner grabs him away but it just looks silly and like it was never going to work to begin with. Its the optime of doing too much and hurting the match. Josh eventually gets a hot tag, tags a square off with Kon, throws him around and King Kong Knee drops Kon. Ankle Lock gives the near fall but Kon kicks off, Uemura tags himself in, Callihan gets the tag, is about to finish off Uemura; but Deaner stops the Thumbs Up – so Josh breaks up the offense and we get all 8 men pulls off high impact moves.

Cactus Driver attempt, Uemura hits the Enzuigiri to stun Callihan. Goes to the top, Deaner trips Uemura, Cactus Driver ’97 wins the match.

 

Overall Score: 5/10

This was a weird episode. The only match worth watching was the opening tag match, the rest were predictable, boring or just had dumb spots in them. Backstage segments however, those were pretty great. The problem though, is they built off of either inside jokes, old WCW knowledge or not shutting off cringe immediately.

So while I loved the Raven & Reese segment, Kelly & Taylor, and found some amusement in the Cardona stuff…its really subjective and not exactly friendly to an uninitiated viewer. We got an episode that catered to already existing fans, which isn’t how to grow a brand.

Even though I enjoyed things for the most part, this was a lame episode from the perspective of retaining new eyes.


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (2/1/23)

Dynamite is No Holds Barred!

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Will Darby Allin still be the Relentless TNT Champion?

Samoa Joe wants the AEW TNT Championship back, but he knows Darby Allin is relentless. Tonight on Dynamite, they go NO HOLDS BARRED for the gold! Will Joe once again be the King of Television?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Jon Moxley VS Hangman Page; Moxley wins.
  • The Acclaimed w/ Billy Gunn VS Truth Magnum & Turbo Floyd; The Acclaimed wins.
  • Brian Cage w/ Prince Nana VS Konosuke Takeshita; Takeshita wins.
  • Bryan Danielson VS Timothy Thatcher; Bryan wins.
  • AEW TBS Championship: Jade Cargill w/ Leila Grey VS Red Velvet; Cargill wins and retains the title.
  • AEW TNT Championship No Holds Barred: Darby Allin w/ Sting VS Samoa Joe; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

Jon Moxley w/ Wheeler Yuta VS Hangman Page!

The Maniac and the Cowboy go for their tiebreaker as Dynamite is in Dayton, Ohio! Will Ohio’s own knock this one out of the park like he did before? Or will there be some serious #CowboySh*t going down in Dayton?

Not only does Moxley have the Decoder by his side, he has his dad, Dan! Hangman makes his entrance next, and Moxley goes right after him! Moxley throws hands then whips Hangman into railing! The ref reprimands but Moxley sends Hangman into steel steps! Moxley throws hands, whips Hangman again and Hangman hits more railing hard! Fans fire up and the ref reprimands. Moxley just takes off his hoodie to CHOKE Hangman with it! Moxley TOSSES Hangman over the railing, and then he hops onto the railing! Dayton fires up, gives Moxley a hand, and Moxley FLYING AX HANDLES Hangman down!

Moxley brings Hangman up but Hangman throws hands! Hangman sits Moxley down, fires off more shots, then backs up. Hangman runs in to BOOT Moxley against railing! The ref reprimands, he wants this in the ring, but it isn’t a match yet so there’s no real repercussions. Hangman stalks Moxley along the way but Moxley kicks back. And CHOPS! Moxley trips Hangman then ties him up, FIGURE FOUR on the floor! Moxley and Hangman flip each other off but the ref still wants this in the ring. Hangman grabs someone’s beer and splashes Moxley with it! Moxley lets Hangman out of the hold, and then Hangman ROCKS Mox!

They go back to ringside, Moxley grabs a chair but Hangman CLUBS Moxley. But Moxley JAMS Hangman, tris him, and then drops an elbow on the leg! Moxley has a toehold, then he puts the chair around the leg! The ref reprimands but Moxley goes up the apron. The ref shouts at Moxley to not jump, but then Hangman gets free! Hangman CHUCKS the chair at Moxley’s head!! Moxley goes down and fans fire up! The ref reprimands again and wants this to get in the ring. Moxley is dazed, but Hangman drags him around, to suplex onto the chair! Hangman drags Moxley up and puts him in the ring, but he also brings the chair!

The ref stops Hangman, so Hangman leaves the chair behind. The bell finally rings, and Hangman runs in to forearm Moxley! Moxley hits back, they go back and forth! Moxley’s eyebrow is already busted open, but he keeps throwing shots. Hangman gets the edge, HEADBUTTS, then whips. Moxley reverses to dropkick the legs out! Moxley looms over Hangman, drags him into the INDIAN DEATHLOCK! Hangman endures, keeps his shoulders off the mat, but fans rally behind Moxley. Hangman drags himself back, reaches out, and gets the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Moxley lets Hangman go at 3.

Moxley brings Hangman up but Hangman gets around to GERMAN SUPLEXES! Moxley snarls but the blood is getting into his eye. Hangman DECKS Moxley and has him at the ropes. Hangman brings Moxley up, fans boo but Hangman CHOPS! Moxley flounders and falls and fans start dueling. Hangman stalks Moxley, sits him up, and he starts raining down fists right on the bloody eyebrow! Mox fans boo but Hangman fans are fired up for the “COWBOY SH*T!” Hangman wipes Moxley’s blood off on his chest, but then turns around into a CHOP! Moxley eggs Hangman on and Hangman CHOPS back!

Moxley CHOPS, Hangman CHOPS, fans “WOO~!” for the CHOP fight! Moxley shifts to boxing elbows, then runs, but Hangman catches the crossbody! FALL AWAY SLAM! Fans are torn while Moxley goes to the apron. Hangman runs, triangle jumps, but Moxley LARIATS first! Moxley drags Hangman up and to the apron, then turns Hangman, for a SLEEPER! The ref reprimands and wants this in the ring, but Hangman claws the bloody eyebrow! Moxley turns Hangman around, reels him in, but Hangman resists the lift! Hangman tries to lift, Moxley resists, and then Moxley lifts! Hangman fights that and lifts again, but Moxley still fights!

Both men are fighting for control, and Hangman fireman’s carries! To SNAKE EYES Moxley off the post! Moxley falls to the floor and Dynamite goes picture in picture!

The ref checks Moxley but he’s somehow okay to continue. Hangman goes over to fetch Moxley, and whips him into railing! Hangman ROCKS Moxley with haymakers as the bloody eyebrow becomes a crimson mask. Hangman refreshes the count, goes back to Moxley and CHOPS him! Moxley gets in Hangman’s face so Hangman CHOPS again! Moxley CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS, but Hangman DECKS him! Hangman snarls, looms over Moxley, and then drags him back up. Hangman puts Moxley in the ring, and rains down more fists on that bloody eyebrow! Moxley falls over, but Hangman gets the wrists!

Hangman sits Moxley up, for a DRAGON STOMP, but Moxley blocks! Moxley throws Hangman to a corner and fires off forearms and CHOPS on repeat! Moxley then hoists Hangman up top, climbs up after him, and CLAWS Hangman’s back, painfully slow! Then he CLAWS and BITES Hangman’s back, before blowing a kiss to the fans. But Hangman throws body shots in return! Dynamite returns to single picture as Hangman BITES Moxley’s forehead! Hangman then slips under Moxley to fireman’s carry him on the second rope! SUPER DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives and fans are fired up!

Fans duel as Hangman sits up. Hangman scowls while Moxley sits up. Moxley eggs Hangman on so Hangman kicks him! And BOOTS him! Hangman tells Moxley to stay down but he refuses. Moxley sits up, so Hangman BOOTS him! Moxley sits up to SLAP Hangman, and flips him off! Hangman is fuming, but he runs into a CUTTER! A standing count starts, fans count along as Moxley and Hangman stir. They sit up at 5 of 10, and Moxley throws a haymaker. Hangman throws it back, so Moxley gives another,. They go back and forth, Hangman wobbles but he CHOPS! Moxley CHOPS! Hangman forearms! Moxley forearms back!

Moxley eggs Hangman on, Hangman staggers over and CHOPS again! Moxley KICKS a leg, KICKS Hangman’s arm, then KICKS him again! Moxley ducks the haymaker to get the SLEEPER! Hangman shifts to SAIDO! But Moxley’s right up! SAIDO!! Hangman ends up in a corner and fans say “This is Awesome!” Moxley puts Hangman up top, climbs up after him, and hits a SUPER HALF HATCH SUPLEX!! Cover, TWO!! Moxley immediately rains down the HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Then he clamps on a SLEEPER! Hangman endures as Moxley shifts to a BULLY CHOKE! Hangman pushes around, so Moxley shifts to get the wrists! DRAGON STOMPS!!

Moxley then drags Hangman up into the underhooks! But Hangman fights Death Rider! So Moxley rolls Hangman to an ARMBAR! Hangman endures, moves around, and reaches out to the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts and Moxley lets go at 4. Hangman crawls to a corner, fans rally up, and Moxley says this is it! Moxley runs in but Hangman TOSSES him up and out! Moxley staggers up, Hangman goes up top! ARIHARA MOONSAULT but Moxley moves! And LARIATS!! Both men are down at the ramp and fans are thunderous! The ref checks both men, Moxley is up first while fans lose their minds.

Moxley goes to the timekeeper’s area and he clears off the table! Moxley drags Hangman over, reels him in, but Hangman resists the lift! Hangman Alabama Lifts but Moxley fights that. DOUBLE LARIATS hit! And again! Moxley runs in, POP-UP POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE!! Fans lose their minds again while Hangman leaves Moxley behind in the ring. The ring count climbs to 5 of 10 before Moxley sits up. The count is 7! Then “OCHO!” Moxley stands at 9, and springs in at 9.9!! But into a LARIAT!! And then Alabama Lift, DEADEYE!!! Cover, TWO?!?! Moxley survives and no one can believe it!

Hangman kicks at Moxley, almost taunting him. Hangman goes to a corner while Moxley’s fans boo. Hangman runs in, but Moxley dodges the stomp to KING KONG LARIAT!! Fans are thunderous as both men stand again. Moxley eggs Hangman on, and Hangman stands. Moxley throws a forearm, so Hangman hits back! Moxley forearms again, but so does Hangman! Fans duel, the forearms fly faster, and then Hangman gets the edge! SUPERKICK! Hangman reels Moxley in, fisherman’s a leg, but Moxley fights the suplex! Hangman powers it through, FISHERMAN CRADLE DRIVER!! Cover, TWO!?!?!?

Hangman’s wild eyes say he can’t believe Moxley survived! Hangman goes to the apron, he aims at Moxley, slingshot for the BUCK- NO! DEATH- NO, Hangman blocks to scoop! TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!! But Hangman doesn’t cover, he goes to the apron! Hangman loads up, for the BUCKSHOT!!! Cover, TWO!?!?!? HOW?!?! Moxley has survived all of Hangman’s best, but Hangman has the BULLY CHOKE!! Hangman pulls back on Moxley’s favorite hold! Moxley shifts, fights back up, and he snapmares into a cradle! MOXLEY WINS!!

Winner: Jon Moxley, by pinfall

Moxley just taught Hangman not to play games! Hangman is furious that he got caught like that, but the Blackpool Combat Club steps into the ring. Yuta and Claudio keep Hangman back but Moxley stands up. Moxley and Hangman get in each other’s face but the BCC keep them apart. Hangman flips Moxley off, and fans want to “LET THEM FIGHT!” Moxley and Hangman keep jawing, they get close but Claudio keeps them separate. Moxley mocks Hangman by lying down, giving Hangman a chance. Hangman mocks Moxley back by doing a quick burpie push-up. Claudio tells Hangman to go and cool off.

Moxley flips Hangman off as he leaves, and fans celebrate their home state hero. Will there be a fourth round out of these two to truly settle things?

 

AEW takes a look at tonight’s TNT Championship No Holds Barred main event!

Darby Allin tells Samoa Joe, “I knew when I took this from you in Seattle that you’d want it back. And I know you’d stop at nothing to have it back. Well, I’m gonna make things fair. You beat me in Texas, and you granted me my rematch in Seattle. So I’m granting you your rematch in Ohio. But I want it under one condition: No Holds Barred.” Samoa Joe told the “Little Dead Boy” that Joe is “coming to take back what’s mine. The King will not be usurped by a man like you.” Darby says if he walks out the winner, Joe doesn’t get another rematch. If Joe walks out the winner, Darby won’t get a rematch. This will be the final chapter of their feud! So who writes their happily ever after?

 

Backstage interview with Jamie Hayter, The Bunny, The Butcher & The Blade.

Renee Paquette is with the AEW Women’s World Champion, as well as the mercenary trio. Renee thanks them for agreeing to no physicality, and understands that Allie the Bunny requested this time. Bunny tells Hayter, they’re all very impressed by Hayter’s win over Emi Sakura on Rampage last Friday. Now, Bunny feels like Sakura outshined Hayter, but great win nonetheless. And Bunny knows Hayter isn’t the type to back down from a challenge, right? Right. So here’s a challenge: next week on Dynamite, Hayter VS Bunny in a Title Eliminator Match! What does Hayter say? Hayter says absolutely! She bloody loves a challenge, and next week, she’s free.

Renee says there’s something happening as we speak! They get it on the television screen nearby, and it’s Britt Baker being mugged by Saraya and Toni Storm!! Bunny is shocked and Hayter is furious! Hayter hurries off, Saraya talks right into the camera, “AEW is OUR house!” Storm drags Britt up to RAM her into a garage door! Bunny more or less expresses exasperation, but will Hayter be able to save the Doctor?

 

The Acclaimed w/ Billy Gunn VS Truth Magnum & Turbo Floyd!

The AEW World Tag Team Champions have been reigning for 133 days, but they know the Gunn Sons, Austin & Colten, are gunning for them. But first, they tune up against “The Outrunners.” As always, Platinum Max has a diss track ready! “Acclaimed on the mic, you know we the nicest. Fighting two guys in their midlife crisis! I bet you have sex with each other. How we gonna fight the bootleg Beverly Brothers? C’mon, it’s not the 80s! Acclaimed gonna make you call it quits like you Tom Brady! ‘Ey, y’all should be ashamed. In Ohio, everybody loves The Acclaimed.”

Fans cheer, and Bowens gets the mic to say, “NNNUTTER CENTERRR~! The Acclaimed have arrived! SCISSOR ME, DADDY ASS!” And he does~! But while Caster & Bowens just embarrassed Truth & Turbo, are they walking into a trap game before taking on the Ass Boys?

The teams sort out, the Outrunners decide they’ll scissor finger! They mock the Mega Powers at the same time, but then Bowens SUPERKICKS Truth out of the ring! The bell rings, Caster CHOPS Turbo and scoops him to SLAM him! Tag to Bowens and Bowens goes up top! Caster holds open the legs, SCISSOR ME TURBO! Daddy Ass gets in the ring so that he and the boys can TRIPLE SCISSOR~! Bowens waits on Turbo, mule kicks and hits the ARRIVAL! Tag to Caster and he goes up top, MIC DROP! Cover, The Acclaimed win!

Winners: The Acclaimed, by pinfall

But wait! Raining on the parade are Austin & Colten! Fans taunt the “ASS~ BOYS~!” But they tune that out. They go to the ring, and Colten has a mic. “Hey, good match, guys. But we’re here to talk about something serious. Last week, what we said would make us happy are your belts. And we want a shot at those belts, and we want an answer right now.” Fans boo but Caster has the mic to say, “Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Listen.” Bowens says, “You two Rod ‘n’ Todd lookin’ asses want an answer. You do realize you are interrupting the most popular tag team in all of wrestling, right?” Caster adds, “That’s right!”

“The winningest tag team in AEW history!” “That’s right!” “The FOREVER champs, the Acclaimed!” “That’s right!” “And not to mention, EVERYONE! LOVES! THE ACCLAIMED!” But they are the People’s Choice, and the People’s Voice, they will ask the people. Colten says these fans can’t even read! But Bowens still asks Dayton’s opinion: Do the Ass Boys deserve a shot at the tag titles? “NOOO~!” Well, the people have spoken, so NO. Austin & Colten get in Caster’s & Bowens’ faces, but Billy tells them all to stop! Isn’t it enough already? Billy is so sick of this, he is just done! Billy says this is too much, so go ahead, beat the sh*t out of each other!

Daddy Ass steps aside, fans fire up, but Austin says, “There you go. Do exactly what you did our entire childhoods and turn your back on us.” Billy stops walking up the ramp, but then chuckles as he keeps going. Austin says Billy should do what he used to do, and drown his sorrows at the bottom of a PILL BOTTLE! That gets Billy to turn around! Billy storms up on his sons and The Acclaimed, as well as the fans, tell the Ass Boys that they F’d up. Billy is up in Austin’s face and says, “So you two think you just put your big boy pants on? Then you just step up, and you just made the biggest mistake…”

The mic is wonky so Billy throws it down. Bowens gives Billy the good one. Billy wants Austin to look at him after what he just said. Austin looks up at his father’s eyes. Billy says if they’ve got their big boy pants on, if they think they got what it takes, if they think they have what Billy had, then we’ll see next week. They’ve got their title shots! The Acclaimed is surprised but the Ass Boys smile that they’re getting their way. Will Austin & Colten get what they want? Or just what they deserve?

 

Backstage interview with Jack Perry.

Alex Marvez is with Jungle Boy and notes that he and Hook are 2-0 as a team, having beaten The Firm’s Ethan Page & Matt Hardy. The question is: What’s next for #JungleHook? JB says that he had an amazing time teaming with Hook, and Hook has had JB’s back when no one else did. But JB’s done the tag team thing before. In fact, JB has been all the way to the top of that mountain, and fallen all the way down. But this year isn’t about that. What JB will say is that he’ll be a champion again, but all by himself. Then just what title will Jack Perry aim for in this Tarzan Life?

 

Brian Cage w/ Prince Nana VS Konosuke Takeshita!

Speaking of having people’s backs, just as The Machine and MJF were about to destroy Bryan Danielson, The Future of Wrestling rushed out to run them off! But now, Cage and Konosuke go toe to toe, will Cage make Konosuke pay for interfering?

The bell rings and Konosuke BOOTS Cage! Cage BOOTS Konosuke, then DOUBLE LARIATS collide! Cage swings but Konosuke swats it to ROLLING ELBOW! Cage wobbles, Konosuke runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges, and then TAKESHITA LINES! Cage bails out and fans fire up! Konosuke runs to BOOT Cage off the apron! Konosuke then PLANCHAS and takes Cage down at the ramp! Fans fire up, Konosuke winks at the camera, and then goes back to the apron. But Cage grabs a foot! Konosuke kicks and stomps Cage but Cage yanks Konosuke into a POST BOMB! Konosuke tumbles down and fans boo but Nana cheers.

Cage drags Konosuke up, puts him in, and runs to basement BOOT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally for Konosuke but Cage drags him back up. Cage reels Konosuke in, puts one out, but Konosuke wrenches out! Konosuke throws a forearm, but Cage gives it back! They go forearm for forearm, and Konosuke throws boxing elbows into the ROLLING ELBOW! Cage fights the back suplex, KNEES low, and brags, “Who betta than Cage?” But he runs into a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Cover, TWO! Cage survives and Konosuke is surprised! Nana coaches Cage up but Konosuke aims from a corner. Konosuke runs in to JUMP KNEE, but Cage dodges!

Konosuke tumbles to the apron, Cage ROUNDHOUSES him! Cage climbs the ropes, and he stands Konosuke up. DEADLIFT SUPERPLEX! Fans boo but Cage flexes while Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Cage drops a knee on Konosuke, sits him up to KNEE him in the back again and again, then he stomps Konosuke back down. Cage paces, drags Konosuke up, and bumps him off buckles. Cage RAMS into Konosuke, RAMS him again, and then CHOPS him! Cage soaks up the heat, but Konosuke CHOPS back! Konosuke fires forearms, then another CHOP! And another CHOP! But Cage BOOTS Konosuke down! Cage grabs the legs, stomps Konosuke in the stomach, then paces around. Cage stands Konosuke up, wrenches and YANKS the arm, then RAMS shoulders. Cage wrenches, pump handles, and lifts, but Konosuke slips out!

Konosuke runs in but Cage ducks the boot to roll Konosuke up! Konosuke slips out, but runs into a drop toehold! Konosuke’s on ropes, Cage dials it up, TIGER FEINT KICK! Konosuke staggers to a corner, Cage runs in and UPPERCUTS, GAMANGIRIS, and GERMAN SUPLEXES! Cover, TWO!! Cage and Nana are annoyed, but Cage looms over Konosuke. Cage hears the fans rally for Konosuke, but Cage drags him up. Cage reels Konosuke in, puts out another one, and Dynamite returns to single picture as Cage lifts, only for Konosuke to RANA Cage into buckles! BLINDSIDE JUMP KNEE! Cage staggers, Konosuke goes up, FLYING KNEE!

Both men are down and fans fire up! Konosuke and Cage stir as the ring count starts. Konosuke sits up and feeds off the energy. Konosuke drags Cage up into a waistlock, but Cage elbows free! Cage whips, Konosuke LARIATS on the return! Konosuke drags Cage up, waistlocks and GERMAN SUPLEXES! Bridging cover, TWO!! Fans rally while Konosuke fires up. Konosuke aims from the corner as Cage stands, and Konosuke runs in, JUMP- NO! Cage blocks the knee to BUCKLE BOMB! And then fireman’s carry, to an F- NO! Konosuke lands out, lifts and LIGER BOMBS! Cover, TWO!! Cage survives but fans fire up behind Konosuke!

Konosuke aims again while Nana shouts to Cage. Cage stands, Konosuke runs in but the knee is blocked! Cage spins, Konosuke ducks! Konosuke spins, ROLLING ELBOW!! Konosuke reels Cage in, but Cage wrenches out to HEADBUTT! And then SAIDO!! But Konosuke is right up?! Into a DISCUS LARIAT from Cage!! Cover, TWO!?! Konosuke survives and Nana is furious! Cage says he’s gonna end this, and he suplexes, only for Konosuke to slip out! Konosuke suplexes, SHEER DROP BRAINBUSTER!! Cage roars as he rises up, but Konosuke ROCKS him with another elbow! And then another suplex, for another BRAINBUSTER!!! Cover, TWO!?!?

Cage survives, he must truly be a machine! But Dayton rallies behind Konosuke. Konosuke runs in, but into a SUPERKICK! Cage fireman’s carries, for the F10!! Nana says no prisoners! Cage drags Konosuke up again, puts him in the corner and hoists him to the top. Cage then goes to the outside and climbs up after Konosuke. But Konosuke throws forearms in return! Konosuke suplexes for a SUPER BRAINBUSTER!!! Fans are thunderous and Konosuke aims again! KNOCKOUT KNEE!!! Cover, Konosuke wins!!

Winner: Konosuke Takeshita, by pinfall

Cage may be a machine, but the machine just broke down against the bullet train! Will Konosuke continue to prove why he IS The Future of Wrestling?

 

Backstage interview with the Jericho Appreciation Society.

Renee is with Matthew Menard, Angelo Parker, Daniel Garcia, Sammy Guevara, and of course, Chris Jericho himself. Renee says that we heard Ricky Starks’ comments from last week, addressing how the JAS cheated to win. What is their reaction? Jericho says, “Cheated? We haven’t worked together in five years, and you’re accusing us of cheating? Let me say this, Renee. Ricky Starks, he didn’t lose to a baseball bat, no. Did you see a baseball bat in there?” Of course the JAS says no. Jericho says Starks lost to the JAS. And now Starks challenges them, “How can I get another match with Chris Jericho?”

Jericho says the JAS has an idea how Starks can do that. Right, Sammy? Sammy says yes. Garcia and Sammy put their heads together, and they came up with a great idea: The Guevara-Garcia… No, wait, the Garcia-Guevara Gauntlet! Danny thanks Sammy for the top billing on that name. Renee asks what kind of gauntlet they have in mind. Garcia says it’s a rather simple concept. “Ricky, first you’re gonna have to beat Cool Hand Ange. And if that happens, you’re gonna have to beat Daddy Magic.” Menard adds, “Beat Daddy Magic? I DON’T THINK SO!” Garcia says that if Starks somehow does that, then he beats either Garcia or Guevara, but they’ll reveal that the night of.

And then, if somehow, by the skin of his teeth, Starks makes it past all that, only then does Starks get his hands on Jericho. Jericho tells Starks, “You don’t call the shots around here, the Jericho Appreciation Society does. So if you can get through the Garcia-Guevara Gauntlet, I’ll be ready to rip your ass!” Will the Absolute survive three matches in one go to finally have another shot at The Ocho?

 

The Elite speak.

Matt Jackson asks Brandon Cutler if the camera is rolling as he, brother Nick, Kenny Omega, Michael Nakazawa and Don Callis are on the basketball court. Cutler says yes, they’re live, while Nakazawa and Callis are oiling Omega up. Matt says, “Ladies and gentlemen, check it out who it is! It’s the first-ever, two-time Trios Champions, The Elite.” Omega says that’s right, and he tells Top Flight, “I watched what you guys did. After a Best of 7 Series in a ladder match, you got one up on our boys. Well how ’bout next week, you bring your friend, AR Fox, next week and we’ll put these belts on the line, and you guys can shoot your shot.

“But hey, when you shoot that shot, you best not miss. Because The Elite never miss. Nick, if you will.” Nick takes the rock and shoots it, THREE POINTER! Oh, but wait! The Firm’s Stokely Hathaway, Ethan Page, Matt Hardy & Isiah Kassidy walk in. Callis has Cutler keep rolling, and Omega mockingly asks where Stokely is, he can’t see him. Oh haha, Stokely knows you see him, he’s right here. But listen, you three are doing NOTHING all week? No wrestling, nothing? Just a week off? Ethan thinks that’s funny. The Firm’s employees don’t have that luxury, they work every single week, and Ethan wants that streak to continue.

So Ethan says how about this: The Elite VS Ethan, Matt & “Zay,” Friday on Rampage. Omega tells Callis he isn’t so sure, but Callis says this is Matt Hardy. If they get footage of Hardy taking a One Winged Angel, they could sell that NFT for a lot of money. Hardy says, “What about an NFT with Matt Hardy Twist-Of-Fating Omega?” Ethan likes that better! Well, as far as a match, it’s done. The Elite VS The Whatever They Are. Kassidy says he hopes the Elite is ready, cuz they sure are. Kassidy unsettles Kenny with an arm around his shoulders and a moan, and Ethan says this is good business. Hey, Brandon, is it? Cut the camera!

Matt Jackson tells Ethan Page that he doesn’t tell Brandon what to do! THEY tell him! Turn off the camera, ya damn dumbass! And get off the court, they’re trying to play. But will this 3v3 pick-up game go The Elite’s way? Or is it a trap game before taking on Fox, Dante & Darius?

 

Bryan Danielson VS Timothy Thatcher!

In the American Dragon’s quest to be #1 contender, he has defeated Tony Nese, Konosuke Takeshita, Bandido and Brian Cage, an undefeated streak of 4-0 in 2023! But now, Maxwell Jacob Friedman has enlisted a fighter very much like Bryan in his savage technical ability. Will Bryan make it to the deadline still on top? Or is this where MJF wins before Revolution even begins?

The bell rings and the two circle. They feel out the grapple, but Bryan’s shoulder is an obvious target. They grapple, Bryan puts Thatcher on ropes but Thatcher shifts to get the arm. Thatcher wrangles Bryan but Bryan scrambles to the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Thatcher lets off, and then smirks as he watches Bryan get up. Bryan and Thatcher feel out another grapple, Thatcher puts him in the corner, and then European Uppercuts! And again! And again! Bryan sits down and Thatcher goes after the arm! Thatcher twists the elbow and wrist, isolates the arm, and stands on the hand! Thatcher KNEES the arm!

Bryan scrambles away but Thatcher is right on him with a double wristlock! Bryan powers Thatcher to ropes, and clasps his hands behind his back. The ref counts, the two let off, but then Bryan fires off body shots and kicks! Bryan grabs a leg to DRAGON SCREW! Bryan holds onto the leg, turns Thatcher over and ties those legs up, to get a Deathlock! Fans rally as Bryan sits on the hold, then SNAPS it! Bryan then shifts to a BOW ‘N’ ARROW! Thatcher pries the fingers away! Bryan shouts in pain but Thatcher twists the arm! And STOMPS it down! Fans boo but Thatcher grins with that missing-tooth smile.

Thatcher KNEES Bryan in the back, stalks him to a corner, but Bryan puts Thatcher in the corner to CHOP and CHOP and KICK and KICK! Fans rally, Bryan runs corner to corner, and DROPKICKS! Bryan facelocks but Thatcher wrenches and WRINGS Bryan’s arm! Fans boo more but Thatcher drags Bryan up with a double wristlock! Thatcher uses his height to lift Bryan off the mat! Then Thatcher pushes Bryan down, but Bryan keeps his shoulders up. Bryan crawls around, ROPEBREAK! Thatcher lets go at 4 while fans rally up. Bryan clutches his arm but Thatcher goes after it again as Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Bryan endures but they’re also in the ropes so the ref counts. Thatcher lets off at 4, then digs his boot into Bryan at the corner. The ref counts, Thatcher lets off, only to stand on Bryan’s chest! The ref counts, Thatcher steps away, and he grins as he soaks up the heat. Thatcher mocks Bryan’s pain, then KNEES the bad shoulder! Thatcher KNEES Bryan again, goes out to drag Bryan tot he apron, and he SLAMS the arm on the edge! Bryan clutches his bicep and shoulder while the ref reprimands. Thatcher slides into the ring and stands Bryan up by his ears! Thatcher CLUBS Bryan on the chest! Thatcher fishhooks Bryan to stand him up, and CLUBS him again!

Bryan sits down, Thatcher stands him back up, and he hammerlocks the bad arm. Thatcher then back suplexes Bryan up and into the ring! Thatcher dusts off his hands while crawling to the cover, but Bryan wrangles him into the LEBELL LOCK!! Thatcher got cocky and got caught! But he scrambles to the ROPEBREAK! Bryan lets off quickly, but Thatcher is right on him! Thatcher UPPERCUTS the arm! Bryan goes to a corner, Thatcher KNEES him down, then drags Bryan back up. Thatcher EuroUppers Bryan, taunts the fans, then EuroUppers Bryan again. Bryan leans against ropes, Thatcher snarls at the fans, then gets in Bryan’s face.

Dynamite returns to single picture as Thatcher traps Bryan’s bad arm behind his back and throws hard body shots to that side. The ref counts but Thatcher grins as he throws more shots. Bryan fights back with HEADBUTTS! Fans fire up as Bryan backs Thatcher down, but Thatcher fires off body shot after body shot! Thatcher drags Bryan out to a hammerlock GROVIT, and then hits a GROVIT-PLEX! Cover, TWO!! Bryan is still in this but Thatcher snarls. Thatcher stalks Bryan at the ropes, bumps him off buckles, then reels Bryan in to hoist him up top. Thatcher UPPERCUTS, climbs up after Bryan, and he underhooks the arms!

Bryan resists and fans fire up! Bryan breaks free, throws body shot after body shot in return, and then HEADBUTTS Thatcher down! Thatcher growls and gets right back up! But Bryan throws more body shots! Fans rally “YES! YES! YES!” and Bryan HEADBUTTS again! Thatcher stays down this time, and Bryan stands up! Thatcher stands in time for the MISSILE DROPKICK! Both men are down as Bryan clutches his bad arm, but Dayton rallies up behind him! Bryan and Thatcher sit up, both snarl, and Thatcher EuroUppers! Bryan EuroUppers in return! They go uppercut for uppercut, but Thatcher gets the edge!

Bryan fires up to KICK! And KICK! Bryan KICKS away on Thatcher’s chest, “YES! YES! YES!” Bryan powers up but Thatcher blocks the Buzzsaw! Thatcher goes for the bad arm, wrangles Bryan down, but Bryan rolls through and gets around to waistlock. Thatcher bucks the O’Conner but runs into a backslide! TWO, FUJIWARA! No, Bryan rolls through to BUZZSAW! Cover, TWO!! But Bryan clamps on for HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Fans rally again, but Thatcher blocks the arm! Bryan claws Thatcher’s face to get free, and get a SLEEPER! But Thatcher wants that bad arm! Bryan has to shift his grip, but Thatcher stands!

Thatcher pries the sleeper open because he can get the bad arm, but Bryan powers up! Bryan has the hold on tight, so Thatcher backs Bryan down! They end up ramming the ref into the corner! Bryan still holds on, but Thatcher hits a BIG back suplex! All three men are down and fans fire up! But here comes MJF! The AEW World Champion tells Dayton to shush, and he puts on the Dynamite Diamond Ring! MJF says, “It’s too damn easy. This is done! This is done!” MJF goes to the ring, but KONOSUKE flies in outta nowhere!! Konosuke won’t let MJF screw Bryan over! Konosuke attacks MJF, RAMS him into railing, and chases him to the back!

Bryan has Thatcher but Thatcher snatches the arm! FUJIWARA ARMBAR!! The ref is up, he asks Bryan, but Bryan endures! Thatcher pushes way back on the arm, but Bryan pushes his way forward with his legs! ROPEBREAK!! Fans fire up as Bryan survives by a literal foot! Thatcher lets go in frustration and he scowls as he throws hands on the bad arm. Thatcher drags Bryan up, clinches, BELLY2BELLY SUPLEX! Bryan flounders but Thatcher runs in, clinches, but Bryan switches! GERMAN SUPLEX! Thatcher fumes as he gets back up! Bryan dodges him, runs back in, BUSAIKU KNEE!! Cover, Bryan wins!

Winner: Bryan Danielson, by pinfall

Now 5-0 on the year, the quest continues! The American Dragon is not yet slain, but wait! MJF and Konosuke continue brawling backstage! MJF turns things around to send MJF into a road case! MJF gets a chair to CHUCK it at Konosuke’s head! And then he throws a trash bin! MJF says if Konosuke wants after him, this is what he gets! But Konosuke turns things back around to SMACK MJF off a table! MJF comes back, the hands fly, and security rushes in! Referees and management try to stop this, too! MJF says he’ll kill Konosuke but Konosuke says about the same in Japanese! Renee runs in to be on the scene, and she tells everyone to stop!

Renee informs everyone, “Per Tony Khan, next week on Dynamite in an Eliminator match, it will be Takeshita VS MJF!” MJF is pissed, he doesn’t agree to that, but he MUST! Will the Devil of AEW find that the Future of Wrestling is better than him?

 

Mogul Affiliates speak.

Swerve Strickland says, “It’s been a real relaxing last couple of weeks for Swerve and the Mogul Affiliates and all, since getting rid of some dead weight and all this. Until I was like, retriggered.” Dustin Rhodes returning to stand in front of Swerve’s camera, in front of Swerve’s lights, and with Swerve’s interviewer! “The Rhodes Family legacy really gets under my skin, with your father, Dusty Rhodes, giving Keith Lee the ‘Limitless’ moniker. So, since he’s not here, Dustin’s not here, either, let’s find some other nepotism, second generation punk boy to get rid of Friday night on Rampage. That means you, Brian Pillman. Ain’t that right, Parker?”

Parker Boudreaux says that’s right. “Ain’t that right, Trench?” The tattooed man says, “Yeah, that’s right.” Hoodies up, but will they put Bulletproof BPJ down?

 

BREAKING NEWS for next week!

February 8th, the deadline for Bryan Danielson becoming #1 contender, will see The American Dragon taking on La Faccion Ingobernable’s El Toro Blanco, RUSH!! And speaking of…

Backstage interview with LFI.

Lexi Nair is with El Toro Blanco, but also Jose the Assistant and “Perro Peligroso,” Preston Vance. She notes the announcement of Rush VS Bryan, but then there’s a knock at the door. MJF walks in and says, “Hola, mi hermanos! Senor Vance, Senor Jose, Senor Rrrrrush.” Rush asks what the hell this “perro” wants. MJF double checks, “perro” is dog, right? Well, there’s a little thing called personal space, so he’s just gonna take a step back. “But here’s the deal: my, uh, Spanish is come se dice… Mid. But I know one language, my friend, that is mucho, mucho universal.” And that is MONEY! A huge briefcase full of it!

MJF snaps the case shut and smiles. This first one is free of charge. But he has FIVE MORE filled to the brim with dinero. All Rush has to do is beat Bryan Danielson “by any means necessary.” All Rush needs to do is rip Bryan’s arm off and beat him over the head with it. Can Rush pull that off for him? Jose, translate. Jose translates, but Rush seems to understand explicitly. Rush tells MJF in Spanish, and MJF asks “dipsh*t” Jose to translate. Jose sums it up by saying they have a deal. Oh, is that right? That sounded a bit longer than that. But Rush, you don’t have to like MJF. He just has to get the job done. Pleasure doing business with you, perro.

MJF leaves, but Rush has his mission. Will Rush be raking in the money with one match? Or will nothing stop Bryan Danielson from earning his title match?

 

AEW TBS Championship: Jade Cargill w/ Leila Grey VS Red Velvet!

Finally, the biggest, fastest-rising star has reached her FIFTIETH match! But while the streak started with The Chef, will it end with her, too? Or will #ThatBitch not be stopped by even the person who knows her best?

The introductions are made, but Velvet attacks while Jade is strutting around! The bell rings, Velvet fires off forearms but Jade knees her low. Jade whips Velvet to a corner but Velvet boots her back! THESZ PRESS! Velvet rains down hands but Jade shoves her away. Velvet ducks but runs into an elbow! Jade drags Velvet up, but Velvet fires off forearms! Velvet whips, Jade blocks to reverse, but Velvet holds ropes. Jade runs in but Velvet sends her out! Leila hurries to Jade’s side but Velvet builds speed! Velvet WRECKS Jade with a dropkick! Velvet tells Leila to back off, then she storms up on Jade.

Jade elbows Velvet away, but Velvet comes back to ROCK Jade! Velvet CHOPS Jade right in front of her family! Velvet then puts Jade in the ring, storms up on her and Oklahoma Rolls! TWO! Jade staggers up, blocks a superkick, and she spins Velvet around. Velvet ducks the haymaker and runs the ropes, then wheelbarrows, but into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans fire up while Jade drags Velvet over to a cover, TWO! Velvet is toughing it out but Jade is getting frustrated. Jade scoops Velvet to SLAM her, then drops a BIG elbow! Cover, TWO, and Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Leila is annoyed and Jade frowns while Velvet sputters. Jade drags Velvet up, CLUBS her down, and Leila applauds. Jade bumps Velvet off top buckles, then middle buckles, then bottom buckles! Jade stands on Velvet in the corner and soaks up the cheers and jeers, but lets off at 4. Jade and the ref argue, but Leila gets cheap shots in! Leila scurries away and Jade hauls Velvet up for a FALL AWAY SLAM! And then kips up! Jade holds up both hands to say 50, and then flexes. Velvet bails out, Leila talks trash, and Jade storms over. Jade walks up but Velvet sends her into railing! Jade is getting mad, but Velvet avoids one haymaker to PENALTY KICK from the apron!

Velvet CROSSBODIES, but Jade catches her! Jade POSTS Velvet, then carries her around the way. Jade trophy lifts Velvet, goes up the steel steps, and then TOSSES Velvet at the ropes! Velvet falls, Jade covers, TWO!!! Velvet survives and Jade is getting real mad. Leila rallies the Baddie cheering section, and Jade stalks Velvet to a corner. Jade drags Velvet up, and TOSSES her across the way! Jade says that’s 50 right there, and then she does push-ups as Dynamite returns to single picture. But Velvet CHOPS! Jade CLUBS Velvet, then TOSSES her across the way again! Jade swaggers, dribbles, but Velvet dodges the dunk!

Velvet DROPKICKS Jade, then hits a CODE BREAKER! Jade staggers around, Velvet KICKS and KICKS and mule kicks! Velvet runs, but Jade BOOTS her down! Cover, TWO!! Velvet is still in this and wait! Kiera Hogan RAMS Leila into steel steps! The other former Baddie is here, but other refs come out to have her leave. This all distracts Jade, and Velvet rolls her up! Jade rolls through, but the STIR IT UP hits!! Cover, but the refs aren’t paying attention!! Fans count, Velvet would’ve won twice over by now! Aubrey Edwards finally notices and counts, TWO!! Jade survives and fans can’t believe it!!

Velvet is furious, she drags Jade around and hooks an arm, short arm scissor, and then the INVERSION! Jade endures, fights, but Velvet kicks at her! Jade endures as Velvet pulls on the arm, and she deadlifts Velvet! But Velvet sunset flips! Jade stays up, drags Velvet up with both hands, and pops her around! Chicken wings for JADED!!! Cover, Jade wins!!

Winner: Jade Cargill, by pinfall (still AEW TBS Champion)

FIFTY AND OH! Velvet came the closest of all, but will anyone ever stop Jade’s undefeated streak?

 

Backstage interview with Britt Baker.

Renee is with The Doctor, as well as Jamie Hayter, as they are with Doc Sampson. We only caught a glimpse of what happened to her earlier at the hands of Saraya & Storm, how is Britt feeling? Britt says this is fine. She’s fine, and if that’s how Storm & Saraya wanna play, that’s fine, too. Because Britt & Hayter can play that game, too. But wait, in walks Ruby Soho! Ruby just wants to talk. She heard what happened, is Britt good? Uh, Ruby, weren’t those your girls? Ruby has Britt hold on there. Ruby has nothing to do with Saraya & Storm, she doesn’t know what Britt’s talking about.

Britt says Ruby’s known Saraya & Storm a lot longer than she’s known the AEW originals, so sorry if it’s strange that Ruby only now shows up. But yeah, Britt is good. Hayter says Britt is great, actually. Ruby says she’s glad to hear it and walks off. There are battle lines being drawn, which side is the Runaway on?

 

BREAKING NEWS for Rampage!

Not only are The Elite and The Firm having it out, it is for the AEW World Trios Championships! Will Kenny & The Young Bucks make it through All Ego, Hardy & Kassidy to then take on Fox & Top Flight? Or will there be a change of plans for Dynamite? And speaking of Saraya & Storm, they are in tag team action once again, but will they continue to beat down All Elite homegrown talent? Plus, before taking on Bryan Danielson, Rush will take on the Fallen Angel, Christopher Daniels, in an epic match of former ROH World Heavyweight Champions! Will El Toro Blanco build momentum going into his battle with The American Dragon?

 

AEW TNT Championship No Holds Barred: Darby Allin w/ Sting VS Samoa Joe!

The series is tied at 1-1, with the Samoan Submission Specialist winning in Texas, but the Relentless One winning in his hometown of Seattle. Dynamite in Dayton is throwing out all the rules except one: win! Will Darby continue to be the fighting champion? Or will Joe return to being the One True King of Wrestling Television?

The introductions are made, the TNT title is raised, and one way or another, this is the series finale of Darby VS Joe!

Darby takes off his trench coat to reveal he, uh, customized his Hoodlum hoodie. He’s covered it in thumbtacks!! And as soon as he’s in the ring, he rushes in to COFFIN SPLASH Joe! Joe is reeling from the tack attack but Darby fires off tack-covered forearms! Fans fire up as Darby runs corner to corner, but Joe dodges the splash to GAMANGIRI! Joe then wraps up an arm in his towel, to LARIAT Darby down! Fans rally, Joe pulls Darby’s tack hoodie off and throws it away. Joe drags Darby up to CHOP him! Darby goes to a corner, but Darby kicks back. Joe stomps Darby, stomps him down, then storms off.

Joe goes out to look under the ring, and he brings out a TABLE! Dayton fires up, Joe picks the table up, but Darby DIVES into the table and Joe! The table doesn’t break but it, Joe and Darby all hit the floor! Joe is busted open on his forehead and fans fire up! Darby hurries to stand the table up, to then drop it on Joe! Darby then brings the steel steps around into the corner of the railing. Darby whips, Joe reverses, and Darby not only clips steel steps, he clips railing! Darby lands on his feet just from momentum, but he soon falls to his knees, clutching his back! Fans lose their minds while Joe stalks out after Darby.

Joe stands Darby up, throws knees into him, and then throws him into railing. Joe drags Darby up and they go up the bleachers. Joe SMACKS Darby off the handrail, then brings him up further. Joe smacks Darby off more railing, then keeps him going up. But Darby fights back! Darby CLUBS and CLAWS Joe’s back! Fans fire up but Joe DUMPS Darby down the steps! Fans are going nuts while Joe glares through his crimson mask, and Dynamite goes picture in picture.

Joe drags Darby up again, grinds him against the handrail, then SMACKS him off a fan’s chair! They go back to the lower level as Darby kicks Joe and crawls away. Joe keeps after Darby, drags him up, and brings him around the way to TOSS back to ringside! Darby narrowly misses hitting steel steps head first! Joe stalks Darby, drags Darby back up, then scoop SLAMS him on the steps! Darby writhes, flounders away, but Joe follows him to the corner. Darby throws Joe’s ROH World TV title at him, but that only upsets Joe. Joe storms in after Darby, stalks him to a corner, and waits on Darby to stand before he DECKS him!

Joe eggs Darby on as he stands over him. Darby doesn’t stand so Joe makes him. Joe snapmares to CHOP Darby on the back! And PENALTY KICK him in the chest! And then drops a fist on his head! Joe watches Darby writhe and the ref checks on him. Joe grins through the crimson mask, then stomps Darby down. Joe kicks Darby, then clamps on a neck wrench! Joe leans all his weight on Darby but Darby throws body shots. Joe doesn’t budge, and he CLUBS Darby down. Joe grins as Darby tires to sit back up. Joe clamps the neck wrench back on and he twists even harder! Darby endures, and Dynamite returns to single picture as Darby throws more body shots.

Joe lets go of the neck wrench, Darby hobbles and runs, but into an ELBOW! Darby falls over and Joe covers, TWO! Joe keeps focus as he looms over Darby. Joe KICKS Darby to a corner, and then stomps him. Fans rally and duel, but Joe is annoyed by that. Joe drags Darby up, DECKS him with a forearm, then clamps on another neck wrench! It’s practically a vice on Darby’s head, squeezing his skull! Darby endures, fights up, and he RAMS Joe into buckles! Darby fires off forearms and SLAPS! Darby runs corner to corner, but into the URENAGE! Cover, TWO!! Darby survives the #STJOE, but Joe stands Darby up to CHOP him!

Darby staggers, Joe CHOPS him again! Darby flops to the apron, Joe builds speed and he BOOTS Darby to the floor! Joe then storms out and looks under the ring. Joe brings out another TABLE! Fans fire up again but Joe has fans move aside. Fans oblige and Joe rests the table against railing. Darby is in the ring, Joe goes in and brings Darby up, but Darby JAWBREAKERS before the sleeper could lock in! Darby runs in at the corner to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Darby CHOPS away on Joe, but Joe TOSSES Darby right out of the ring! Joe has been treating Darby like a throw pillow, emphasis on the “throw!”

Darby flounders up, but Joe goes back over to bring him back in. Joe suplexes high and hard! Joe then goes out to fetch chairs! Joe puts a handful of chairs in the ring, then sets them up together. Fans fire up as they’re back to back to make a wedge! Joe stands Darby up, brings him over, BIG back suplex on the chair wedge!! Darby writhes and Joe has a sadistic smile. “Joe is gonna kill~ you!” Joe turns the chairs around to face each other, then brings Darby back up. But Darby uses POCKET SAND to stop the bomb! CODE RED!! Cover, TWO!! Joe survives but Darby hurries to hop on! THROWBACK STUNNER!

Joe falls into a drop zone, and Darby hurries to get his hoodie back! Darby puts that back on, climbs up the corner, and COFFIN DROPS!! Cover, TWO!?!? Joe survives the tack-enhanced senton and fans can’t believe it! Darby hurries outside and goes looking. Darby uses a knife to cut the strings that hold down the canvas! Some are tough but they all give way, and Darby pulls the canvas away. Darby then drags off the foam padding to expose bare wood! Darby is deconstructing the ring in order to better destroy Joe! Darby sees Joe outside, builds speed and DIVES, but Joe walks away! Darby CRASHES THROUGH THE TABLE!!!

Dayton is losing their minds as Joe puts Darby back in! Joe sets Darby’s tack covered jacket down, he picks Darby up, and he POWERBOMBS him on the tacks! AND THEN HE SMOTHERS DARBY WITH THE TACK JACKET!! Darby DIGS at Joe’s eyes!! Joe lets Darby go, but he staggers around blindly! Joe stands up into a CHAIR SHOT! And another! And another! Darby has Joe on the hard wood, climbs up top, but Joe pushes the ref into the ropes to trip Darby up!! Joe climbs up after Darby, tucks him in, and hits a SUPER MUSCLE BUSTER TO THE WOOD!!!! Cover, JOE WINS!!!

Winner: Samoa Joe, by pinfall (NEW AEW TNT Champion)

Darby’s relentless streak is over! Samoa Joe is now a TWO-TIME TWO BELT CHAMPION! But wait! “THIS IS WAAAR~!” Fans go nuts for Wardlow as he storms down to the ring! Joe is just as shocked as Wardlow runs in! SPEAR!! Wardlow rains down fists on the man who took his title and his top knot! Wardlow rips his shirt off, drags Joe up, but Joe scrambles away! Fans boo but Joe isn’t going to fight again so soon after the war he just went through. Security rushes out but Wardlow CLOBBERS them all! Then he hauls one up to POWERBOMB out onto all the others!! Wardlow will not be denied, when and where will he get his hands on Joe?


My Thoughts:

This was an awesome Dynamite! Same balance of action and talking, but the action was all on a different level this week. Of the talking, we got good stuff out of this AEW Originals VS Imports in the Women’s Division. Saraya & Storm really up their Heel heat by just attacking Britt unprovoked, and then Ruby checking in on Britt was an interesting turnaround from her telling she didn’t want Britt’s help. But we’re getting closer and closer to that big tag(?) match. Hell, make it a Blood & Guts match but with the women rather than the men. Saraya leads a team, Britt leads a team, Ruby will choose Britt’s side and there could even be a twist of Shida betraying Saraya during the match to cost the anti-AEW team.

Good promo from the JAS to set up things with Starks. I just knew Starks would have to beat everyone in the JAS eventually, so it’s clever for them to get it all done in one gauntlet match. Starks will of course make it past Menard and Parker, and I bet that just as it looks like Garcia is stepping up to face Starks, Guevara takes the spotlight from him. Starks will still get through the final opponent, and he’ll get his match with Jericho. Good promo from Mogul Affiliates, because one: it establishes that their group doesn’t like multigenerational wrestlers, and two: it gave Granden Goetzman his wrestler name, “Trench.” Swerve will surely beat BPJ, but I bet Dustin teams up with BPJ and Brock Anderson as a sort of AEW take on WWE’s Legacy faction to take on Mogul Affiliates.

Good promo from Jack Perry, but I’m surprised he waited until now to establish that he’s done with tag teams. But I suppose he’s done with The Firm, too, so he’s done needing reinforcements. As it stands, if he wants a singles title, he could start with the All-Atlantic Championship, but I could see JB making a move for THE AEW World title. Speaking of The Firm, good promo from them and The Elite. I wonder if this was really live or just the take where Nick actually made that shot. Anyway, I’m also surprised the trios match for Rampage is for the titles when the titles are going to be on the line for Dynamite. But I suppose if Orange Cassidy and Darby Allin are fighting champions, then so should the Elite. Which of course means The Elite win on Rampage to go on to face Fox & Flight.

We got an awesome match from Bryan VS Thatcher, but of course Bryan wins to keep his story going. Even after he had that awesome match with Brian Cage, Konosuke going after MJF was a great move. And getting himself an Eliminator match is a good, too, but I feel like MJF finds a way to stand tall. He’ll either cheat to win, or just get himself disqualified quickly so his night will be over quickly. MJF also had a really good promo with LFI. Rush is a great choice to take on Bryan Danielson, and Rush is also going to have a great match with Christopher Daniels on Rampage. I’m sure Bryan will still find a way to win and we’ll still get that Ironman match, it just has to be how this goes.

It’s mostly because I don’t even know who is the #2 contender, since AEW still hasn’t kept up with rankings in this new year. AEW bringing out a sudden twist of MJF still having that One Hour Ironman match against someone other than Bryan would be great stuff, since MJF has been so focused on Bryan, but I feel like getting MJF VS Bryan is still the thing everyone wants to see. Great opening match out of Hangman VS Moxley, and of course Moxley bleeds. It’s practically in his contract. But Hangman losing by a roll-up was a great surprise, and them still being after each other after, this has to continue until Revolution.

The Acclaimed winning a squash was a bit surprising, but obviously that was to make room for the promo that set up things with The Gunn Sons. But Billy suddenly saying his sons can have a title match with The Acclaimed? I hope there isn’t a turn coming where Billy is suddenly on his sons’ side again. It just feels like something is fishy, but who knows. Really good TBS title match from Jade and Velvet, but I guess since this wasn’t at a PPV, Jade wasn’t about to lose. Kiera trying to help Velvet only to mess things up was at least a good detail to protect Jade. But at this rate, who is even going to beat Jade when she’s gotten through even some great established names.

And of course, an awesome No Holds Barred match for the TNT title. Great innovation, such as Darby’s tack covered jacket and the different table spots. I was actually rather surprised to see Joe win this to once again be dual champion. But at the same time, Wardlow returning to continue his story with Joe is a logical reason as to why Joe needs to have the TNT title again. Perhaps Wardlow gets the TNT title back to have a second chance with that, and Darby can move up into the world title scene. And assuming MJF retains at Revolution, it works for Darby to be next as they have history in AEW.

My Score: 9/10


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