Coverage
Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/23/23)
Raw turns 30!
This could be the biggest Raw of all time!
For THIRTY YEARS, through highs and lows, Monday Night Raw has led the WWE! Now we see who leads Raw into the NEXT thirty years!
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Raw Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS The Judgment Day; The Usos and Sami Zayn win and retain the titles.
- Steel Cage Match: Bayley VS Becky Lynch; No Contest.
- Six Man Tag: Seth Rollins & The Street Profits VS Imperium; Rollins & The Profits win.
- Bianca Belair VS Sonya Deville; Bianca wins.
- WWE United States Championship No Disqualifications: Austin Theory VS Bobby Lashley; Theory wins and retains the title.
PLAY BY PLAY
Hulk Hogan is here!
And so is Jimmy Hart! The Mouth of the South and the TWO-TIME WWE Hall of Famer Immortal Hulkamania are on stage with mics, to say, “What’s up Philadelphia Hulkamaniacs? Well let me tell you something, WWE Universe! A long time ago, when Hulkamania was running wild, a little TV show started, called Monday Night Raw. And week after week, it got bigger, and week after week, it got better, just like me! Yes, sir, guys. And tonight, we celebrate thirty YEARS of Monday Night Raw! We celebrate thirty years then, we celebrate thirty years now, and we celebrate thirty years forever, together!”
Hulk asks, “Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania, thirty years of Monday Night Raw, and those Philadelphia Eagles run wild on you?!” Fans fire up, will this truly be the biggest night in Raw history?
The Bloodline is here!
The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns, leads the way for Paul Heyman, the Usos, Solo Sikoa and Sami Zayn! Tonight was meant to be a multigenerational Acknowledgement Ceremony for the Head of the Table, but recent circumstances have forced a change in plans. Even so, Roman and the Usos raise their belts for the pyro. They then go to the ring, and they raise the belts again for another round of Pyro. But behold, there is a table set up. Kevin Owens got the better of everyone on Friday Night SmackDown, except for Sami Zayn, who was a minute too late to stop the Prizefighter. Hence, tonight is a Tribal Court Hearing!
Fans are torn as the Bloodline stands around the table, with Sami off to the side. Philly chants for Sami, but Heyman hands Roman a mic. “Philadelphia! ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” Philly sounds pretty torn here. Roman wants to get to business. “Wise Man!” “Yes, My Tribal Chief!” Heyman takes the mic and everyone sits at the table. Philly chants for “E C DUB!” as Heyman speaks. “My Tribal Chief, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my name is Paul Heyman. And I noticed just a moment ago, you all had a chant of three letters that are very near and dear to me.” Fans chant those letters again, “E C DUB!”
But Heyman explains to Roman that ECW is dead, and Heyman wishes the same for SAMI ZAYN! Fans boo, that’s not right! Fans chant for Sami now, but Heyman says, “In plain Samoan speak in this Tribal Court, that is an imbula bara para!” A JUDAS! A BETRAYER of the Island of Relevancy! A conspiracist, in a conspiracy with Kevin Owens since day number one! Sami led the Bloodline on about how good they are and how he is a part of them, “like the fans of the Philadelphia Eagles.” Fans boo but Heyman says they’re gonna feel like the fans after they get conquered by BROCK PURDY of the 49ers! Fans boo even harder!
Fans chant “Fly Eagles Fly!” but Heyman continues to say that this is an open and shut case. He has Exhibits A, B, C, D, even E, F, G, all the way to L M N O P! But he’ll stop at these four pieces of footage that demonstrate that Sami Zayn is “guilty as charged.” Fans boo but Heyman presents his evidence. Exhibit A: Sami talking with the Usos on 8/12/22, and then Drew McIntyre attacks! “Sword Ass” McIntyre jumped the Usos but Sami ran off! “Like the gutless coward that he is!” And then Exhibit B: 8/29/22, Jey telling Sami to get a chair, and Sami taking his sweet time. Sami could’ve hit Kevin, but he didn’t! And Kevin hit a Stunner to win!
Heyman apologizes to Jey that he had to relive that. But Exhibit C: 11/26/22, Survivor Series and the WarGames match. After the win, Sami isn’t with the Bloodline celebrating, he’s on top of the cage for his own glory. And he says something about for life! Is he nWo? Four Horseman? What? And lastly, Exhibit D: 12/23/22, Sami talking up the Bloodline, but shoulder bumping Roman! THAT! The high school hallway shoulder bump! That’s assault! Does Sami perform euthanasia on Roman’s father? Castrate Roman’s sons? That was an assassination attempt on Roman so that Sami could become the Tribal Chief!
If Sami is guilty of nothing else, he is guilty of assault on the Tribal Chief! Heyman tells Roman and the “jury,” he begs of us, and he’s not a begging man, “to find this rat bastard… Guilty! As! Charged!” Fans boo as Heyman drops the mic in Sami’s lap. Then he picks up another mic just to say he rests is case. Fans rally behind Sami as he stands up to speak. “You know, I had a whole defense all lined up, all laid out in my head, but the one thing I didn’t count on was how I would actually feel when I came out here.
“And Paul, watching you, listening to you say all that, right to my face, after every time you hugged me, and it’s Shmuli this, and ‘I love you, Shmuli’ that, man… That hurts. That hurts so much. Watching you play that video, carefully craft this video to make it out like what? What do you think? What do you think I’m doing? You think I’m conspiring with Kevin Owens? You think I’m trying to take out the Tribal Chief?” Heyman shouts “YES!” Sami asks how Heyman can think that after all this time. The fact Heyman would think that, that hurts! After everything that’s gone on, the fact that the Bloodline doesn’t see it, guess what? The FANS see it!
The fans have seen it all these last nine months! But the fact that they’d literally put Sami on trial, to defend himself, that hurts. “So I guess what I’m saying is, my defense is that I have no defense.” Sami sits back down but Philly cheers him on. Roman looks confused. He grabs a mic and says, “Let me get this straight. You don’t have a defense? You got so much ego, you won’t even fight for this? You won’t even explain yourself? You don’t care now, huh? You got so much ego, that you can’t even argue for this? This doesn’t mean anything to you?” Roman gave Sami chance after chance, and this is what he does? This is the respect he shows Roman!? SOLO!!
Solo steps closer to Sami and fans boo. Solo walks around Sami, prepares the thumb, but then JEY stops him!? Fans fire up as Jey stops the Samoan Spike from executing Sami! Fans chant “UCEY! UCEY!” and Jey has everyone calm down. OG, no disrespect, but Jey has his own footage. Roll the tape. WHAT!? Defense Exhibit A! It’s 6/3/22, Matt Riddle hits a SUPER RKO but Roman’s music hit! Jey snuck the tag, then hits the USO SPLASH so the Usos retain, and Sami was the one who pulled the fake-out! Exhibit B: 8/19/22, McIntyre tossing Roman around, but Sami makes the save! Exhibit C: 9/9/22, McIntyre goes after Solo with a chair, Sami makes the save!
And Exhibit D: 12/9/22, Usos beat Brawling Brutes, Sami makes sure Sheamus couldn’t get in! And then Exhibit E: back to WarGames, Kevin has Roman down, Sami stops the ref! And then LOW BLOWS Kevin! And then hits the HELLUVA KICK to set Kevin up for Jey’s USO SPLASH, that wins it for them! Fans cheer seeing those videos, and Jey says, “Let’s go, man! It’s right there, Uce. It’s right there on tape, on film, for you and the whole world to see! This man has taken so many bullets for me, for you, for the whole Bloodline. Man, my dawg basically bulletproof.” And we all know Jey despised and distrusted Sami.
But Sami saw the good in Jey the whole time and never gave up on him. That’s what family do! Fans cheer that, and Jey says, “That tape right there demonstrates to me, Uce, loyalty! And love to this family! Sami Zayn, I love you like a brother, Uce, 100.” So if you want Sami to stay, throw your ones to the sky! All of Philly joins Jey, and even Jimmy raises his finger! Roman stands up now, but fans chant “SAMI USO!” Roman says, “As your Tribal Chief, and the Head of the Table, I find you, Sami Zayn… Not guilty.” Fans cheer and Heyman looks like he’s tearing up. But then Roman adds, “For now.” He wants Sami to thank Jey, because Jey bought Sami time.
In the meantime, this is how it will go. Sami can finish tonight, make the Bloodline proud, and then Roman doesn’t wanna see Sami again until Saturday at the Royal Rumble. Not see him, hear from him, or hear that he’s at a show. Sami will go home, then show up at the Royal Rumble. And that is where Sami delivers his final test. Then we’ll see if Sami Zayn really is The Bloodline or not. The Tribal Chief has passed his judgment, but will the Honorary Uce find a way to finally prove he is worthy?
Raw Tag Team Championships: The Usos w/ Sami Zayn VS The Judgment Day w/ Rhea Ripley & Finn Balor!
Jimmy & Jey helped Sami stay in the Bloodline, but now they must pull their own weight in defending their own honor! Will the Usos keep Raw on lockdown? Or will Dominik Mysterio & Damian Priest bring the jailhouse rock to the Uso Penitentiary?
The introductions are made, the red belts are raised, and we see who really runs Monday Night Raw!
The teams sort out and Priest starts with Jimmy. Priest fires off with kicks and fists, then he whips Jimmy to ropes. Jimmy holds ropes, Priest rushes in but Jimmy sends him out. Priest gets back on the apron and blocks a kick, but he spins Jimmy for the DRAGON WHIP! Jimmy then builds speed, but Priest moves aside. Jimmy grins, goes out to taunt Dom and then follows Priest. Dom goes after Jimmy but Jimmy DECKS him! Priest POUNCES Jimmy onto the announce desk! Priest and Dom high-five, Priest puts Jimmy in, and tags in Dom. Dom slingshot sentons! Fans boo as Dom gives us Latino Heat.
Dom CHOKES Jimmy on the ropes, lets off at 4, and Finn gets a cheap shot in! Dom stomps away on Jimmy, rains down forearms, then tags Priest. They mug Jimmy, Priest whips Jimmy to ropes and BACK ELBOWS him down! Cover, TWO! Jimmy sits up but Priest clamps onto the arms for a motorcycle stretch. Fans rally as Jimmy endures. Roman, Solo and Heyman watch from their private room, though Heyman is watching Roman more than anything. Jimmy fights up but Priest CLUBS him down. Fans boo but Priest soaks it all up. Priest stands Jimmy up, shoves him and CLUBS him on the back!
Priest roars, Jimmy sputters, and Rhea mocks Jimmy. Priest brings Jimmy up and shoves, but Jimmy LARIATS on the return! Fans rally up as Priest and Jimmy both crawl. Hot tags to Dom and Jey! Fans rally as Jey rallies on Dom with big clotheslines! Mule kick! UPPERCUT! Dom flounders, swings on Jey but Jey dodges him to SAMOAN DROP! Rhea and Finn freak out but Jey leads the fans in “UCE! SO!” HIP ATTACK in the corner! Cover, TWO! Dom survives but Jey drags Dom up. Dom ROCKS Jey, blocks a kick, but also gets a DRAGON WHIP! Tag to Priest, he ROUNDHOUSES Jey away! Priest runs in, but Jey elbows back!
Jimmy tags in, Priest choke grips Jey! Jey slips free, the Usos shove and DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Priest is still in this and Rhea is frustrated. Jimmy goes to a corner, climbs up top, and fans rally with Sami. Dom rushes over but Jimmy DECKS him! Priest runs in, Jimmy shoulders him back, but Jimmy slingshots into a HAYAMKER! Jey runs in, Priest fires off strikes! Priest ROCKS Jimmy in a corner, SPLASHES Jey in the other! Priest runs to back elbow Jimmy, then back elbow Jey, then back to Jimmy! Another shot for Jey, and then the BROKEN ARROW! Priest snarls as Jey bails out.
Priest builds speed, but Jimmy SUPERKICKS him! Priest rebounds to SUPERKICK back! Jimmy flops out of the ring, Priest builds speed, and Priest FLIES! Direct hit and down go both Usos! Rhea and Finn fire up as Priest roar! Philly boos as Priest puts Jimmy back in, and Priest runs to COMEBACKER LARIAT! Cover, TWO!! Rhea is furious but the ref defends his count. Jimmy is in the corner, Priest runs in to back elbow! Dom tags in, Priest ROLLING KICKS Jey! Priest lifts Jimmy and Dom climbs up, DOOMSDAY!! Cover, TWO!?! Jimmy survives and Rhea can’t believe it! Sami is relieved but Rhea shouts at the ref.
Priest tags back in, he stalks Jimmy and brings him up. Priest reels Jimmy in, Canadian Racks, but Jimmy sips off! Tag to Jey! SUPERKICK for Priest! Dom run sin, into DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! DOUBLE SUPERKICKS for Priest! And then DOUBLE SUPERKICKS AGAIN! Cover, TWO!!! Priest survives and everyone is shocked! Finn helps Dom back in, and the ref has to stop him. Finn runs around to trip up Jey! But the ref sees him!! Finn says no, he didn’t mean to! But the ref EJECTS Finn!! Finn is furious but Philly is loving it! More refs come out to drag Finn away! Jey adjusts, USO SPLASH onto knees! Cover, TWO!!!
Rhea can’t believe it! But Jey SUPERKICKS Priest! Tag to Jimmy and he goes up top, USO SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!?!? Priest survives and no one can believe it! Sami is worried, Rhea rallies for Priest and Dom. Jimmy stands, builds speed, and he DIVES to take out Priest! Dom hurries to Priest’s side, Rhea tells commentary to shut up about being nervous. Jimmy hobbles, his leg is bothering him. Jey checks on him, as does Sami. The ref checks on Jimmy, too, but Jimmy is pissed! He hurt his leg, and that brings out medics. The medics help Jimmy up, and Adam Pearce hurries out. Jimmy can’t continue? The ref confirms as much.
Well, if Jimmy can’t, then protocol dictates forfeiting the match, and the titles. Rhea laughs, but Sami says wait! There has to be a solution! Fans cheer and they already anticipate that solution! One Uso is down, but Sami USO is good to go! Sami wants to tag in! Roman is curious as to this development, but fans want to see it! Pearce says he did it for Judgment Day, he’ll do it for Raw 30! Sami tags in, this match continues NOW! Sami is doing his duty, and he fires off on Dom! Jey is after Priest, Philly is thunderous! Sami clotheslines Dom out, Priest clotheslines Jey out! Priest rushes Sami, Sami dumps Priest out!
Fans fire up as Sami builds speed, to FLY! Direct hit on Dom and Priest! Fans are even more fired up as Sami drags Dom up and into the ring! Priest grabs Sami’s foot, Sami kicks him away, but Dom rolls up Sami! With feet on the ropes! TWO!!!! Dom fires off furious fists on Sami, and he says HE will be champion! Dom runs in, into a CORNER EXPLODER! Fans fire up as Sami goes to the other end! But Rhea gets on the apron! Fans boo, but Priest sneaks in! Choke grip, SOUTH OF HEAVEN!!! Sami is down, Dom crawls to the cover! Cover, TWO!?!? Sami survives and Judgment Day cannot believe it! But Philly is LOVING this!
Dom dares Sami to get up, then he runs in, body scissors onto the rope! Dom dials it up but Jey tags in! SUPERKICK for Dom! SUPERKICK for Priest! Rhea gets in, and Jey hesitates. Rhea dares Jey to do something, but then Dom rushes in and dropkicks Jey onto ropes! Dom dials it up, 619!! Fans boo but Dom climbs up! FROG SPLASH!! Cover, SAMI BREAKS IT!! Fans are thunderous but Priest whips Sami to a corner. Sami dodges and Priest POSTS himself! Priest flops out, Dom TOSSES Sami out! But Jey fireman’s carries! Dom slips off, Sami tags in as Jey bucks the O’Conner! SUPERKICK! Sami and Jey coordinate, they ONE AND DONE!!! Cover, THE USOS WIN!!
Winners: Jey Uso & Sami Zayn (still Raw Tag Team Champions)
Roman is rather stunned. Sami actually did it! He made up for tonight, but Roman still doesn’t wanna see Sami until Saturday. Heyman says, “Yes, My Tribal Chief.” But even so, Sami and Jey raise the belts together as brothers in arm! Will San Antonio be Sami’s last stand?
JBL and Baron Corbin walk around backstage.
They come across The Godfather! JB and Charles Wright hug it out, and Wright asks JBL, “Who’s the stooge you got with you?” JBL introduces Corbin, and Wright checks his guest list. Barry? No, Baron. He’s gotta be on the list. Nope, no Corbins. JBL says maybe they can speak to the owner of the establishment. Sure, he can do that. Wait, APA? It’s RON SIMMONS! Bradshaw and Farooq hug it out, but who’s the stooge? This is Baron Corbin! HIs protégé. They wanna get in on the poker game but Corbin’s not on the list. Maybe They could check it again, wink wink. Money money. Oh… That list. Yeah, they got a spot for him.
Ron says he’s got just the thing for Corbin and JBL, and they walk through the door. Ron sure fixed this place up from the old days. There’s THREE poker tables, with legends and new stars all around! Will Corbin fit right in here?
LA Knight is here!
The Mega Star of SmackDown is here on Raw 30, and he says, “Lemme talk to ya!” Philly cheers “YEAH!” “Last Friday on SmackDown, Bray Wyatt brought back the Firefly Funhouse, yippee~! A grown-man incel playing with puppets with spooky music. And I’m supposed to be scared of that? HUH!? WRONG! If I was any more a man, there’d be two of me standing here right now. Meanwhile, this guy is living on past glory, and it just got me thinking. Here we are, Raw is turning 30 tonight, there’s a bunch of legends back there running around, they’re living on past glory. Bray Wyatt’s living on past glory.
“And it just has me thinking: If any single one of those legends right now has enough tingle in their loins, YEAH~, why don’t you come on down here and I’ll give you a little preview of the Pitch Black match at Royal Rumble, at your expense, YEAH!” Everyone waits, but Knight figured. No one will- WAIT! The bell tolls, the lights go down, and the moon rises! IT’S THE UNDERTAKER!! But then wait, Kidd Rock plays, and it’s the AMERICAN BADASS TAKER!! The motorcycle riding version of the Dead Man is here in Philly! Taker parks at ringside, makes sure the kickstand is up, and then Philly fires up as he gets in the ring!
Knight says that’s enough, cut the music! Fans chant for “UNDERTAKER!” and now Taker is waiting on Knight to get back in the ring. Knight says, “Before we take this anywhere, I heard what you said on Joe Rogan about the locker room being soft. Hey, I agree with ya. You look back there and there’s a bunch of softies back there. Top of the list is Bray Wyatt. But I’ll tell you like this: if you think I fall under that umbrella, somebody told you the wrong story. But I tell you what. You’re giving me an opportunity to do something right now.
Let’s just think about something here: think of the irony of the headline we can create right now: LA Knight sends the Undertaker to the undertaker. HAHA, YEAH!” So Knight says he’s gonna give Taker a pass. He’ll let Taker live to see another day and enjoy retirement with his family. Oh, but Knight wants Taker to watch the match at Rumble. After that, Knight will be the Lord of Darkness. Also, if anyone asks you whose game this is, don’t be confused. Everyone is saying it’s L A Knight’s Game, YEAH! But then the lights go down! BRAY WYATT is here! And he’s right behind Knight! Knight gets scared down the ramp, stuck between a rock and a hard place!
Bray walks his way forward, lantern shining, and it forces Knight towards the ring. Knight tells Taker not to take what he just said personally. But then Taker choke grips Knight! Knight begs for mercy, but Taker sees Bray approach the ring. Bray steps inside, and Taker gives Knight over to SISTER ABIGAIL! And fans lose their minds over a moment we thought we’d never see again: Taker and Bray staring down! Taker whispers something to Bray, then takes his leave. What just did the Phenom tell the Eater of Worlds? Will it help Bray overcome not just Knight, but the inner demons Bray is battling?
We check back in with the APA poker games.
JBL sees the belt Alundra Blayze has with her. Did she fish this out of the trash? Ha ha. She raises, Gable folds, “A thank yew.” Why does he always do that? It’s the smart move! Otis doesn’t care, he’s in! What about DDP? Oh, he’s in, and calls. Blayze has Kings & Queens, FULL HOUSE! She’s still champ! WAIT! D D P has a straight. Those don’t beat Full Houses. But a STERAIGHT FLUSH DOES! BANG! Alright, good one. Who will be the big winner tonight on the biggest night in Raw history?
Steel Cage Match: Bayley VS Becky Lynch!
The Role Model and the Man have escalated their rivalry to this point, in which Bayley got goaded into doing this all on her own! Dakota Kai & Iyo Sky see Bayley out, but will they see Bayley lose all on her own? Or can Bayley finally overcome everything Becky says is still bothering her?
Raw is picture in picture for Bayley’s entrance, and she takes a moment to take in the sight that is the cage lowering. She tells the crew to hustle up, time is money. Bayley taunts Philly from the cage, more than likely saying her 49ers will beat the Eagles just like she’ll beat Becky here. Raw returns to single picture as Becky makes her entrance. Becky steps into the cage, but wait! Kai & Sky return! SO much for doing this alone! Becky fights them off, but Bayley BOOTS the door into Becky! Kai & Sky throw Becky around, then FLAPJACK her into the cage! Bayley cheers her team on as Kai has a metal chain! She DECKS Becky with a chain fist!
Kai & Sky put Becky in the cage, then join Bayley in beat Becky down! Kai uses the chain to lock the door! Bayley & Sky TOSS Becky into the steel! Bayley rains down fists, and says she’s the smartest person in this division! Pearce is furious but he can’t get the door open as Bayley hits a suplex on Becky! Sky stomps Becky then hits a LIONSAULT! Pearce and Bayley argue, but Bayley says Becky wanted this! Pearce has bolt cutters and he cuts away at the chain! But DMG CTRL hits a DOUBLE BACK SUPLEX NECKBREAKER!! Becky is down, DMG CTRL climbs the cage to get away from Pearce and the refs.
Fans boo but DMG CTRL laughs, having pulled off their master plan. Will anyone be able to humble the Role Model with the back-up she’s got?
Degeneration X is here!
Philly fires up because they are ready! HHH! HBK! Road Dogg! X-Pac! And playing the part of Billy Gunn tonight is Kurt Angle. Angle joins in on the crotch chop pyro! Dogg gets the mic to say, “The more things change, the more they stay the same. Now then, llllladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages! Tonight, Degeneration X proudly presents to you, it’s SIX-TIME WWE Tag Team Champions of the WOOOOORLD~! The Road Dogg, Jessie James! The Bad-” Wait. They just now noticed Kurt Angle? What’s he doing here? Angle always wanted to be in DX. He takes off his red, “I’ll make you TAP OUT” shirt, and reveals a DX shirt!
HBK wants to sort this out. If Angle wants to be in DX, he has to past the test. Is he ready? Is that the test? HHH says nevermind. He asks the fans, “ARE! YOU! READY~?!” Fans cheer, so “then, for the sold out thousands in attendance. For the millions watching around the world. LLLLLLLLLLET’S-” IMPERIUM!? Giovanni Vinci, Ludwig Kaiser, and of course Der Ring General, GUNTHER, are here from SmackDown! The WWE Intercontinental Champion leads his soldiers into the ring to stand face-to-face with DX! Ludwig has a mic to say, “Shame on you for all that filth and nonsense.”
Fans boo but Gunther says, “Look at all of you! You bunch of degenerates! Standing out here celebrating yourselves! For what?! For making a mockery of this great sport! We are Imperium! And we are here to restore the honor of this precious sport. And we are here to kick you out of OUR ring. Unless anyone of you is gonna do something about it.” They all pat HHH on the back and he steps up! HHH says, “I’m retired, dude.” Then he steps back and looks to HBK. Fans cheer on HBK, but he says he’s too old. X-Pac says if they’re leaving this to him, he has shin splints. and Road Dogg won’t even joke about it. HHH tells “Butterbean” to stay in the corner.
But HHH has the group huddle up. Fans already cheer on Kurt Angle, and they look to him. So they volunteer Kurt! Kurt say nope, not it. Oh, c’mon! Well, they’re in a bit of a jam, then. HHH wishes there was someone who would come out here and fight Imperium. SETH ROLLINS is here! Fans sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” for the Visionary as he makes his way to the ring. But wait, he’s just one guy. Imperium is three. If only there was a team that could help Seth. Well here come the STREET PROFITS! Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins wear their 76ers best as they make their way to the ring! Because where there’s fire, there’s SMOKE!
Dogg says this is cool! Three and three, now what? Well, someone needs to make it official. Why’s everyone always looking at HHH? Booking isn’t that easy! You don’t just make decisions on the fly. If only there was someone who could come out and make sense of this whole situation. TEDDY LONG is here! And he says, “Hold on a minute, playa. Now, I’ve got the perfect idea for ya. Imperium, tonight… You will face the Street Profits, and Seth Freakin’ Rollins, in a SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH, playa!” HBK says someone needs to keep this chaos under control. Like a special guest referee?
DX huddles up again, Angle wants to talk because he has an idea. Hold on, they’re talking. Guys, Angle has an idea! Fine, let him say it. Angle has a REF SHIRT under the DX shirt! It’s even red, white ‘n’ blue! HHH says let’s make Kurt the special guest ref! It’s official! Ring the bell! HBK says if you’re not down with that, we’ve got two words for ya: SUCK IT!! Will Imperium regret crashing Raw 30?
Six Man Tag: Seth Rollins & The Street Profits VS Imperium!
Raw returns and the trios sort out as Jerry “The King” Lawler joins commentary. Rollins and Vinci start, and they circle. Fans sing for Rollins, “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” Rollins and Vinci tie up, go around, and Vinci headlocks. Rollins powers up but can’t power out as Vinci holds tight. Rollins fights up, powers out, and things speed up. Rollins hurdles, redirects, then mule kicks Vinci! Front kick, DISCUS LARIAT! Fans fire up and Rollins brings Vinci up. Rollins wrenches the arm, tags in Ford, and Ford jumps in to CLUB Vinci’s elbow! Ford wrenches the arm, but Vinci kicks low! Vinci uppercuts and CHOPS!
Ford is stinging, but Vinci whips. Ford reverses to DROPKICK Vinci down! Cover, TWO! Ford CHPOS Vinci in the corner, whips him corner to corner, but Vinci reverses. Ford boots but Vinci blocks to short arm LARIAT! Vinci stomps Ford, tags Ludwig, and Imperium mugs Ford. Ludwig CLUBS Ford, kicks low, then CLUBS Ford again. Fans rally for Ford but Ludwig bumps Ford off buckles. Ludwig stomps a mudhole, then shouts, “NEIN!” Fans boo but Ludwig drags Ford up. Ludwig whips but Ford reverses to CHOP, CHOP and CHOP! Ford whips, tag to Dawkins, the Profits run Ludwig over! Back suplex SPLASH! Cover, TWO!
Ludwig goes to a corner but Dawkins whips Ludwig corner to corner. Dawkins runs in but Ludwig dodges the cyclone to GAMANGIRI! Ludwig ROCKS Dawkins, but Dawkins DECKS Ludwig! Both men are down and Philly fires up! Hot tags to Gunther and Rollins! The Architect stares down with Der Ring General and fans fire up. Gunther kicks low, CLUBS Rollins, then UPPERCUTS! Gunther scoops but Rollins slips off to waistlock, Gunther switches, for a SLEEPER! Rollins arm-drags free, runs in but is put on the apron. Gunther swings, Rollins dodges to shoulder in! Rollins springboards, into a CHOP!
Rollins sputters, Gunther drags Rollins up and scoop SLAMS him! Then NECK TWIST! Rollins writhes, Angle reprimands, but Gunther CHOPS Ford down, and he stares Dawkins down while Raw goes picture in picture.
Gunther stalks Rollins, stomps him around, then drags Rollins up to wrench. Gunther grinds the arm, tags in Ludwig, and they mug Rollins. Rollins goes to ropes, Ludwig CHOKES him! Angle counts, Ludwig lets off and argues with him, and Vinci gets a cheap shot in! Angle suspects something but Ludwig covers, TWO! Ludwig drags Rollins up to chinlock, but Rollins endures. Rollins pries the hold, fans rally up, and Rollins throws body shots. Then a JAWBREAKER! Ludwig staggers back, tag to Vinci! Vinci stops Rollins and whips him to ropes, to then scoop and BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!
Vinci is annoyed but Angle defends his count. Rollins stands, but Vinci kicks him to the corner. Vinci ROCKS Rollins, then brings Rollins out. Rollins throws body shots, but Vinci knees low! Vinci POSTS Rollins! Tag to Ludwig, and Rollins is tuck in the corner. Gunther joins in, TRIPLE KICK in the corner! Imperium poses together while Rollins flops to the floor. Gunther drags Rollins up, puts him in the ring, and stomps him down. Gunther tags Ludwig, and Ludwig grinds Rollins down with a headlock. Rollins endures, fans rally up again, and Rollins fights up. Rollins throws body shots, powers out, but Ludwig throws him by his hair!
Ludwig then clamps onto Rollins with a chinlock and he grinds Rollins down. Rollins endures, Ludwig puts his weight on the hold, and Raw returns to single picture. Fans continue to rally as Rollins fights up. Rollins pries the hold open to DECK Ludwig! Rollins hurries but Ludwig grabs an arm! Ludwig keeps Rollins back, then he whips Rollins at the corner! Rollins BLASTS Gunther, then CLOBBERS Ludwig! But Vinci rushes in to back suplex! Rollins lands on his feet, ducks Vinci and hot tags Ford! Ford GAMANGIRIS Vinci, then CLOBBERS him! And CLOBBERS him again! Ford CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! MACHINE GUN CHOPS!
Ford whips, Vinci reverses, but Ford CLOBBERS him! Ford kicks, front kicks, but Vinci ducks the enziguri! Back suplex, but Ford lands on his feet! Vinci kicks, Ford blocks, and Ford has an ANKLE LOCK! Angle appreciates the shoutout, and then Dawkins intercepts Ludwig! DOUBLE ANKLE LOCKS! Fans fire up, Gunther runs in, and he BOOTS Ford! And CHOPS Dawkins! Gunther and Angle argue, and fans fire up for Kurt. Gunther jabs Kurt in the chest with his finger, so Kurt shoves him! Rollins runs in to CLOBBER Gunther! Dawkins builds speed to FLY onto Ludwig! Ford builds speed to FLY onto Vinci!
And as fans sing, “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” Rollins builds speed to- CHOP from Gunther! Gunther SHOTGUNS Rollins into buckles! Gunther drags Rollins up, for the GENERAL BOMB! Cover, TWO!!! Rollins survives and Gunther is furious! Gunther waistlocks and deadlifts Rollins, to GERMAN SUPLEX! But Rollins lands on his feet! Gunther gets around, SLEEPER, but Rollins pries free to ELBOW BREAKER! PELE! SUPERKICK! ANGLE SLAM!! Angle likes that shoutout, too! Rollins and Gunther are both down, they crawl for their corners, hot tags to Vinci and Ford! Vinci LARIATS Ford!
Ludwig goes up top, Vinci lifts Ford! But Rollins springs up after Ludwig! Ford back drops Vinci, Rollins SUPERPLEXES Ludwig! And rolls through, feed to the Electric Chair! Ford is up top, BLOCKBUSTER DOOMSDAY!! Gunther returns to CHOP Dawkins! Rollins kicks, Gunther blocks and reels him in! Rollins slips free to PEDIGREE!! Shoutout to HHH!! Dawkins dodges Vinci to ANOINT him! Rollins tags in as Ford is up top, FROM THE HEAVENS! Rollins adds on the CURB STOMP!! Cover, Rollins & the Profits win!
Winners: Seth Rollins & The Street Profits, by pinfall
The Visionary tops it off, he is rolling towards the Royal Rumble! Will Rollins look to #BurnItDown at WrestleMania?
The poker games continue.
And Corbin has made it all the way to facing THE Million Dollar Man, Ted DeBiase! What’s Coribn got? He’s got FOUR ACES! DeBiase folds and he’s out! The pot goes to Corbin! Wait, Irwin R. Schyster is here to say, “Don’t forget to pay your taxes.” IRS takes his cut, and… Corbin gest to keep $100. He “earned” that. Ron walks over and sees what happened. JBL braces for it. “DAMN!!”
Backstage interview with Bobby Lashley.
Cathy Kelley notes that later tonight, Lashley takes on Austin Theory for the WWE United States Championship, but can he explain to us why it’s now in a No Disqualifications match? Lashley says NO DQ means no excuses and no way out. Theory can’t get disqualified to hold onto his title, and Lashley won’t get disqualified for what he’s about to do to Theory. Lashley should still be US champion, if not for Brock Lesnar. But Lashley dealt with Brock, and that little suspension. Lashley has one focus: tear Theory apart and win the US Championship back.
But then MVP steps in and asks Cathy give them time to talk. MVP tells “the champ” that he has no doubt in his mind Lashley will do everything he said he would. Lashley is going to hurt Theory, and take back his title. Then after that, Lashley and MVP can hit the VIP Lounge, pop some bottles, make some new friends, wink wink. Lashley tells MVP that he didn’t need help from MVP or Omos to become #1 contender. And he won’t need their hep to win the title back. So tonight, let Lashley handle his business on his own. Lashley heads out and MVP says okay, Lashley can handle his business. Will Montel Vontavius Porter be a man of his word?
Ric Flair is here!
Philly lets out a “WOO~!” for the Nature Boy, and he has a mic to say, “Celebrating making history. Celebrating 30 years of Raw! You, you keep our lights shining. You keep the Nature Boy stylin’, baby, and profilin’. And like I’ve said over the years, diamonds are forever. And so is Monday Night Raw. WOO~! The WWE has given me so much, given me the opportunity to be so successful. But the greatest gift they’ve given me is the opportunity to watch my daughter exceed all of my goals. And I am so honored, so honored as a father, as a wrestler, as a man, to be here tonight in front of you to introduce to you our very special guest. Really special.
“The greatest Women’s Champion in the history of the WWE, Charlotte Flair! WOO~!” Charlotte makes her entrance now, the SmackDown Women’s Championship around her waist. The Queen struts her way to the ring, high-fiving fans along the way. Charlotte has the mic to say, “It is right here on Raw where we began to revolutionize Women’s Wrestling. It is where I evolved from a Diva, into the FOURTEEN-TIME Women’s Champion! WOO~! Facing names like Ronda Rousey, Nikki & Brie Bella, Asuka, and Rhea Ripley. No, it’s really because of them that I am able to call myself the most decorated athlete of all time. Women’s athlete of all time.
“Now I know I stand here your SmackDown Women’s Champion, but Monday Night Raw will always be my home.” But wait! Here comes Bianca Belair, the RAW Women’s Champion! The EST makes her way to the ring, no stranger to The Queen. Bianca and Charlotte stand in the ring together and fans cheer the EST. Bianca says she respects everything Charlotte’s done for the business. “No one wears a crown like you. Yes, Queen, do what you do! But just not here. Because I go here now. This is my show, this is my home, and you best believe that I do everything that I can to make sure that Raw is the greatest show on television.”
Wait, here comes Sonya Deville! Sonya says, “Oh hold on, hold on. I am so sorry to break up this little pow-wow, but ladies. Do you realize how big a night in Raw history this is? And the two of you are just standing out here, talking about yourselves.” Starting with Charlotte, was it really necessary to fly daddy all the way out here just so he could give her a grand introduction? For a show she’s not even wanted on? And to Bianca, she doesn’t really think fans tune in just for her, does she? That’s a little delusional. But what about people who work so hard to make this show special that don’t get the spotlight every week? People like Sonya.
She did use to run this, y’know. She was Raw General Manager for over a year! Where is HER recognition in all this? Charlotte says she does owe Sonya for the cheap shot on Friday. So Bianca has been killing it, she should handle that. You up for it, champ? Bianca says it’ll be her pleasure! Sonya wants to face the champ, right? She wanted the spotlight, right? So come get in the ring to be the center of Bianca’s attention. That is, if Sonya’s ready to go 1v1 with the EST of the WWE. The ball is in Sonya’s court, will she play the game?
Bianca Belair VS Sonya Deville!
Ras returns and Sonya is playing the game! The bell rings and Sonya circles with Bianca. They tie up, Bianca puts Sonya in the corner but Sonya turns it around., The ref counts, Sonya lets off, and Bianca pushes her. Sonya comes back, waistlocks, but Bianca switches. Sonya switches, Bianca switches again and SLAMS Sonya down! Sonya fight sup, throws elbows, and headlocks. Bianca powers up and out, then she runs Sonya over! Fans cheer as Bianca dusts herself off. Bianca runs, Sonya stays low but Bianca handsprings. Bianca says kiss this, then hurdles. Sonya slides, but turns around into a DROPKICK!
Bianca kips up, fans fire up, and Bianca RAMS Sonya in the corner! The ref counts, Bianca lets off, and she whips Sonya corner to corner. Sonya comes back into a scoop, and Bianca carries Sonya around. Sonya slips off, throws Bianca down by her hair, and then soaks up the heat. Bianca goes to a corner, Sonya storms up and throws kicks and body shots! Sonya stalks Bianca to a corner, she bumps Bianca off buckles, and then Sonya says this will be Charlotte next. Bianca shoves Sonya but Sonya kicks Bianca. Sonya bumps Bianca off buckles, throws body shots, and then snapmares her. Sonya runs, but Bianca avoids the knee!
Bianca rolls Sonya, TWO, and Bianca goes to a corner. Sonya runs into a BOOT! Bianca goes up top, tells Sonya to kiss this, and then she flips over Sonya! Bianca scoops Sonya for a BACKBREAKER! Sonya writhes, Bianca handsprings to MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally behind Bianca and she brings Sonya up. Bianca whips Sonya to the corner, runs in, but Sonya KNEES Bianca away! Sonya whips but Bianca reverses, sending Sonya out of the ring. Sonya gets on the apron but Bianca WRECKS her with a dropkick! Bianca goes out after Sonya, but Sonya grabs at her foot. Bianca kicks Sonya away, then leaps.
But Sonya gets under, to BOOT Bianca down! Fans boo but Sonya mocks the “WOO~!” as Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Bianca has Sonya up in a stalling suplex! Bianca marches around before the SLAM! Bianca kips up, fans fire up, and Bianca handsprings to MOONSUALT onto knees! Sonya runs in to BOOT Bianca, high stacks, TWO! Sonya is frustrated but Bianca is the toughEST for a reason. Sonya covers again, ONE! Fans rally for Bianca but Sonya drags Bianca around. Sonya steps through but Bianca kicks her away! Bianca torture racks, for the KISS OF DEATH!! Cover, Bianca wins!
Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall
Sonya kept trying to send a message to Charlotte and she lost focus on the champion in front of her! Will Sonya earn a title match losing like this?
As for Bianca, she gets a mic to say, “Hold on, hold on. Don’t even think I forgot about Alexa Bliss and the Royal Rumble. Because what I just did to Sonya, is only a preview of what I’m gonna do to Alexa Bliss. Because you know what? She can bring Uncle Howdy, Bray Wyatt, the Playhouse, the Funhouse, whoever, it don’t matter. Nobody and no one is gonna stop them from saying, ‘And still your Raw Women’s Champion, Bianca Belair!'” But then Bliss is on the tron! “Bianca. For the last time. I am your only obstacle. And if everyone would just leave me the hell alone, maybe I wouldn’t have to keep reminding you of that.”
Alexa doesn’t need Uncle Howdy or Bray Wyatt, or anyone to tear Bianca’s face open with her bare hands. But don’t worry, Alexa will spare Bianca’s eyes so she can watch Alexa walk away with the Raw Women’s Championship. A grim warning from Twisted Miss Bliss. Will Alexa make Bianca the scaredEST she’s ever been?
The story of Cody Rhodes’ return continues.
Five months ago, Cody started on his rehab. He wants to not only make his comeback at the Royal Rumble, he wants to win the Royal Rumble. It feels like it has taken 16 years to get to this point. Not only recovering from injury, but carrying the history of everywhere Cody has been. His first run in WWE, him leaving, and him returning. All the doubt, all the struggle, all the sacrifice, all the heartache. When you’re in the ring and in the moment, you know exactly why it’s working. He was born for this.
Cody is in the prime of his career, only to hit rock bottom. “No human being could’ve kept me from getting in that ring. I looked up at the lights enough, whether that be in the ring or on a table, ready to have surgery.” As his Nightmare Factory mantra says: Put in the work. The doctors know he has the determination to get back, but Cody has to respect nature of the human body. Cody wants us to picture that moment where you’re that close to success, to vindication. And for it to get broken, that was a legitimate knife to the heart.
But at the Royal Rumble, a torn pec, two torn pecs, torn quads, nothing short of his heart failing will stop him. Being in the ring is like oxygen, and Cody wants to breathe again. Cody is putting in the work, envisioning his return. He wants everyone to get off the mountain, because he has made it clear what he wants and why he is going to do it. The American Nightmare is just FIVE DAYS AWAY, will he make this the biggest comeback in WWE history?
WWE 2K23’s cover superstar is…
JOHN CENA! He’s worked to earn his place in WWE history, but has faced the agony of defeat. Will you beat Cena like they did? Or will you help Cena right history? Plus, as a pre-order bonus: BAD BUNNY!
The Miz is here!
And he doesn’t look happy. “Thirtieth anniversary of Monday Night Raw, one of the biggest nights in the history of the show, and where’s my MizTV?! Where’s my championship match?! Where’s my celebration of all of my amazingness that has happened? All of my moments on Monday Night Raw! I am the first-ever Grand Slam Champion in the history of this company, and I deserve!” Fans are cheering, but not for Miz! In comes KEVIN OWENS! Kevin turns Miz around for a STUNNER!! Well, that’ll be a highlight for the show. Kevin then grabs the mic out of Miz’s hand as fans chant for “KO! KO!”
Kevin tells Roman, “You might’ve said Sami Zayn is not guilty, but let me tell you what you are guilty of.” Roman is “guilty of having held the WWE Universal title hostage for over two years now!” But on Saturday, at the Royal Rumble, Kevin will give us his word, from everyone in the building and to everyone watching at home, that he will do everything he can to change that and take that title and give everyone a champion they can be proud of! Philly likes the sound of that! Kevin continues to say, “And I guarantee you, I will just keep fighting until I have nothing left. On Saturday, I’m taking that title from you, or I’m gonna die trying!”
Kevin throws down the mic, but Miz gets back up. STUNNER!! Miz is down, and Kevin has thrown down the gauntlet! Will Kevin #StunTheWorld and dethrone the Tribal Chief once and for all?
WWE United States Championship No Disqualifications: Austin Theory VS Bobby Lashley!
The Now of the WWE vows he is also the future and the forever of this title. But when going 1v1 against The All Mighty, will forever come to a quick end?
Raw returns as Lashley makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and with nothing holding them back, we see what will be left of The Now!
The bell rings, Lashley powers Theory to a corner, then he fires off fists! And then he stomps a mudhole! Lashley digs his boot in, throws more hands, but Theory fights back. Theory headlocks, but Lashley SLAMS him down! And then clotheslines him out of the ring! Fans fire up as Lashley paces around. Lashley goes outside, drags Theory up and RAMS him into barriers! Fans fire up while Theory writhes. Lashley fireman’s carries Theory, and POSTS him! Philly fires up as Lashley stands tall, and Raw goes picture in picture.
Lashley drags Theory back up, clinches and RAMS him into more barriers! Theory staggers away, but Lashley follows after. Lashley clinches again, to RAM Theory into more barriers! Theory scrambles into the ring but Lashley pursues. Theory scrambles back out of the ring, but Lashley pursues. Theory goes under the ring, but Lashley drags him back out. Lashley THROWS Theory into more barriers! Lashley looms over Theory, drags him back up, and puts him back in the ring. Lashley takes his time returning while Philly fires up. Lashley stalks Theory to a corner, and Lashley throws back elbow after back elbow. Lashley then TOSSES Theory out of the ring!
Lashley goes outside, starts looking under the ring, and fans fire up. Lashley CLUBS Theory down, then goes back to look under the ring. Theory CLUBS Lashley in return! Theory goes to bump Lashley off the desk, but Lashley blocks that to ROCK Theory! Lashley pushes Theory against the barrier, then throws elbow after elbow! Fans fire up, getting closer to the action. Lashley brings Theory around and RAMS him into the barriers! Lashley then turns Theory around, for a NECKBREAKER to the floor! The ref checks Theory but he’s okay to continue. Lashley leaves Theory behind to bring out a TABLE! But Theory KNEES Lashley away!
Theory hears the fans fire up for the table, so he puts it back under the ring! Theory CLUBS Lashley, puts him in the ring, and goes to the apron. But Lashley gets up to CLUB Theory! Lashley brings Theory around to bump off buckles. Lashley whips corner to corner, then runs in to RAM into Theory! Raw returns to single picture as Lashley hits another NECKBREAKER! Fans rally behind Lashley as he stalks Theory. Lashley suplexes Theory, but Theory rakes eyes to get free! Theory goes to the apron, slingshots and SHOTGUNS Lashley down! Theory fisherman’s for the AOI SHOUDO! Cover, TWO! Theory rains down fists on Lashley in frustration!
Theory goes out, and he grabs a chair! Theory brings the chair into the ring, aims at Lashley, and SMACKS him on the back! Lashley writhes from the chairshot but Theory wedges the chair in the corner. Theory grins, goes back for Lashley, but Lashley TOSSES Theory to the apron! Theory stands up, Lashley ROCKS him! Lashley runs side to side to BLAST Theory to the floor! Lashley goes out but Theory trips him up! Lashley hits off the apron before falling to the floor! Theory drags Lashley up and in, then he goes looking under the ring. Fans want a table, and Theory brings one out! Theory puts the table in the ring, but goes after Lashley first.
Lashley gets around, HURT LOCK! Theory goes for the buckles but Lashley lets go in time! Lashley then drags Theory out to roll up, TWO! Lashley clinches, COMPLETE SHOT! Theory flounders, Lashley drags him up, and Lashley RAMS Theory into the chair! The chair goes flying, Theory flops out to the floor! Fans fire up as Lashley sets up that table Theory brought in! The table is standing in the corner, Lashley fetches Theory. Theory crawls under the ring, Lashley drags him back out, but Theory BLASTS Lashley with the fire extinguisher! Theory RAMS Lashley into steel steps! Philly boos as Theory stands tall, and Raw goes picture in picture.
Lashley writhes on the ground while Theory grits his teeth. Theory soaks up the heat from the fans before he goes looking for more things to use. Theory brings out another table, and he puts that one in the ring. Theory sets this table up in the other corner, leaning it against the buckles. Then he goes back to BLAST Lashley with more fire extinguisher spray! Lashley sputters and staggers away but Theory goes after him. Theory puts Lashley in the ring, soaks up more heat from Philly, and then stalks Lashley. Theory brings Lashley up, throws hands, then headlocks to bring Lashley around. Theory whips, but Lashley blocks!
Lashley throws hands to then whip Theory! Theory stops himself from hitting the table, and he kicks Lashley to throw him back out. Theory soaks up more heat from the fans, and says, “It’s MY time!” Theory goes out after Lashley, but Lashley blocks the bump off the steps. Lashley throws haymakers, then puts Theory back in the ring. Lashley stalks Theory, but Theory dropkicks Lashley’s legs out! And hits a DDT! Theory grins as he goes to the apron. Theory talks trash on Philly, climbs up the corner, but Lashley ROCKS him first! Lashley climbs up, throws more hands, and then brings Theory up.
Theory resists, Lashley throws more hands, and Raw returns to single picture. Fans fire up as Lashley hits a SUPERPLEX! Both men are down and Philly fires up. Lashley throws hands, Theory throws them back. They go back and forth, Lashley blocks a kick to ELBOW, and then gut wrench! Canadian Rack, DOMINATOR! Lashley waits on Theory to get up, then runs in. But Theory KICKS the spear away! Theory fireman’s carries, but Lashley slips off! HURT LOCK!! Theory flails, but MULE KICK LOW BLOWS! Theory grins as he brings Lashley up, but Lashley hits a MILE HIGH SPINEBUSTER through the table!!
BUT WAIT! BROCK LESNAR IS HERE?!? The Beast is grinning ear to ear, because Lashley was wrong! Lashley and Lesnar are NOT done, and Lesnar storms right into the ring! Lesnar hauls Lashley up, F5!! Lesnar drags Theory up, to F5 him ONTO LASHLEY! Cover, Theory wins!!!
Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall (still WWE United States Champion)
Lesnar screws Lashley all over again! And Theory is again the one who benefits from it all! Is Theory really The Now if he keeps getting lucky? And are we going to see Lashley VS Lesnar at the Royal Rumble again?
My Thoughts:
This was a great episode for Raw, though not as epic as they wanted us to think. The steel cage match turning into a steel cage beatdown was lame, but word is they had to cut it to that because, being that this is live television, the opening segment went long and other segments couldn’t be sacrificed. In all fairness, the Tribal Court also being an adjustment because members of the Anoa’i family couldn’t make the trip, they probably didn’t have the timing worked out. But it was still a great segment that really added some depth to this story with Sami and the Bloodline. Jey stepping up to defend Sami was such a great move.
The Raw Tag Team Championship match was also awesome stuff, especially with the substitute move like we got out of Judgment Day’s match in the tag gauntlet. Kevin and Miz was so short, I almost feel like it wasn’t really needed, but I suppose Kevin needs to say something in response to Roman making a big deal out of grilling Sami. And Miz in character really would be upset he got snubbed on Raw 30. Sami’s final test is definitely about whether or not he can screw over Kevin the same way The Bloodline has screwed over every other challenger Roman has faced. Sami will have a bigger internal conflict than any time before, who knows what we’ll see.
Good stuff with JBL, Corbin and the legends. I like that the legends had no idea who Corbin was, but of course they responded to him having fat stacks of cash. And Corbin winning the last hand only to be shafted by IRS was hilarious. Great stuff out of LA Knight, Bray Wyatt and Taker. American Badass Taker showing up was a huge surprise in itself, and while he didn’t quite get the motorcycle out smoothly, that was minor compared to how great it was to see him and Bray in the ring together again. Now, we still don’t know what to expect from the Pitch Black match, but at this point, even with go-home math in his favor, I don’t see Knight winning.
We got a hilarious segment out of DX and Angle. I was just waiting for them to realize Angle was even there, and Angle having the DX shirt and a ref shirt was great stuff. And of course we had to bring Teddy Long out to make a match. Though, Teddy was the SmackDown GM when he did that… Well, anyway, great Six Man Tag out of Rollins & Profits VS Imperium, and as the Raw superstars and Faces, it makes sense for Rollins & Profits to win. That adds some hype to what we’ll see in the Royal Rumble match, and what we could one day see out of Rollins VS Gunther 1v1 in the future. And great vignette from Cody to further hype his return. At this rate, is he going to enter #1?
Great promo from Charlotte, Bianca and Sonya, and really good match out of Bianca VS Sonya. Bianca winning makes sense, and of course we heard from Alexa. If Bianca stood tall here, go-home math suggests something could happen to help Alexa win. At the same time, with them still making the fuss over Uncle Howdy possibly being behind Alexa, this is still going to come down to that. Uncle Howdy could be why Alexa loses, but also why Alexa wins, and they can tell a story from there. As for Sonya, she could still be Charlotte’s challenger for the Rumble, or she just gets in the Rumble to see if she can go to Mania.
Good promo from MVP and Lashley to further tease the return of Hurt Business. And while we got a great main event out of Lashley VS Theory, I could not believe Lesnar showed up to screw Lashley over again. I suppose Lesnar VS Lashley had to happen one more time to finish the series, but I thought it’d be more a WrestleMania thing than a Royal Rumble thing. But at the same time, if Lashley had won the title here, it’d be hard to give a reason for why Lesnar wouldn’t want the title. Well, the obvious reason is that Lesnar is so far above title, he just wants money for the big events. So whatever, we’ll get Lesnar VS Lashley Round 3, the final round, and Lashley will still have an open Mania card.
My Score: 8.7/10
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Dream matches, grudge matches, title matches, oh my!
The AEW World Tag Team Championships, Moxley VS Grayson, Hook VS Stokely under NO DISQUALIFICATIONS, and Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo, all on one night!
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Six Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin & Sting VS The Superbad Squad; Cassidy, Darby & Sting win.
- AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Gunns VS Top Flight; The Gunns win and retain the titles.
- No Disqualifications: Hook VS Stokely Hathaway; Hook wins.
- Jon Moxley w/ Wheeler Yuta & Claudio Castagnoli VS Stu Grayson w/ The Dark Order; Moxley wins.
- Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts VS Skye Blue; Storm wins.
- Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo; Omega wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
There’s a medical emergency backstage!
Hangman Page is on the phone with someone while Brandon Cutler gets in the ambulance. Cutler tells Hangman to make sure someone’s with Nick, meaning MATT Jackson is in the ambulance! The ambulance drives away, and now Nick is loaded into a second! The Young Bucks were attacked before cameras were rolling, Don Callis calms Kenny Omega down, and Hangman rides with Nick. Omega has his main event match with AAA rival El Hijo del Vikingo, but who went after his best friends?
Six Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin & Sting VS The Superbad Squad!
Freshly Squeezed is still a champion, as he retained the now AEW International Championship in Canada. But now, a familiar foe is rearing his Superbad head once again. Kip Sabian is bringing Butcher & Blade with him to go after Cassidy while his Best Friends are down and out. But will Cassidy’s new pals be more than enough to turn back the Superbad Squad?
The trios sort out and Cassidy starts against Kip. Fans rally and chant for “FRESHLY SQUEEZED!” but Kip copies Cassidy putting his hands up. Cassidy rushes in, Kip gets around and waistlocks to headlock. Cassidy powers out, headlocks back, but Kip powers out, only for Cassidy to slip around and headlock again. Kip powers out, things speed up and Cassidy arm-drags, but Kip cartwheels through! Kip mocks Cassidy, Cassidy rushes in but Kip dumps him out. Kip fakes Cassidy out with an Arabian Press, then he mocks putting his hands up again. Cassidy rushes back in, dodges Kip now, and sends him out!
Cassidy mocks Kip, then puts his hands up. To put his hands in his pockets! Kip rushes in, Cassidy dodges and SHOTGUNS! Cassidy kips up and fans fire up, but Kip scrambles away to tag in Butcher. Butcher eggs Cassidy on, but fans cheer as Cassidy tags in STIIIING! The Icon steps to Andy Williams and Andy talks trash. Butcher swings a forearm, but Sting just brushes it off! Butcher throws another forearm, but then Sting counter punches! And back hands! And punches again! Sting kicks low, ROCKS Butcher, then fires off in the corner. But Butcher claws at the eyes! The fans boo but Butcher BITES Sting’s forehead!
Butcher BLASTS Cassidy and Darby, then mocks Sting’s howl. Butcher runs, but misses the splash! Sting runs to hit the STINGER SPLASH! Fans fire up as Sting snapmares and gets the legs! But Blade and Kip attack! Fans boo but Darby and Cassidy fight them off! Kip throws Cassidy out, Blade scoops and dumps Darby out, then the Superbad Squad coordinates. Butcher & Blade reel Sting in, Butcher tags Kip, and then they DOUBLE SUPLEX Sting! Kip goes up the corner, but Sting slow rolls away, a la Cassidy! Speaking of Cassidy, he and Darby go after Butcher & Blade on the outside! Fans fire up but Kip is frustrated.
Kip storms over to another corner and climbs up again, but Sting slow rolls the other way! Fans fire up, Darby reaches out and makes the tag! Kip leaps, Darby gets under to SLAP, HEADBUTT, roll and CODE RED! Cover, TWO! Kip is still in this and Penelope Ford gets on the apron! The ref reprimands her while Darby whips Kip. Kip reverses, Darby goes up the ropes, but Blade trips him up! Darby hits the mat hard, Kip stomps away, and fans boo while AEW goes picture in picture.
Kip drags Darby up while Butcher sends Cassidy into barriers! Kip hits a FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Tag to Blade, the squad mugs Darby, then they send him into a corner. Blade runs in to CHOP! And CHOP! And then snapmare to PENATLY KICK! Cover, TWO! Blade drags Darby over, tags in Butcher, and they DOUBLE HEADBUTT Darby down. Butcher drags Darby up to CHOP him back down. Butcher drags Darby up to bump him off buckles, then he tags Kip. Kip stomps Darby, then taunts Sting. The ref reprimands Kip but that allows Blade to CHOKE Darby! Kip howls, tags Blade, and the mugging continues.
Blade brings Darby up to ROCK him with a forearm. Blade brings Darby around to whip him to ropes, to then POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Tag to Butcher, he stomps Darby, then ties up the legs. Darby throws hands from below, but Butcher still drags him into a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Darby endures, claws his way around, but even Penelope taunts him with shouting, “TAP! TAP!” Dynamite returns to single picture as Darby crawls towards his corner, only for Blade to swing him out into a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Darby survives but Butcher tags Kip. Kip drags Darby up to wrench an arm and whip. Darby uses that to BLAST Butcher & Blade!
Kip runs in, blocks Darby’s boot and spins Darby around to back suplex. Darby lands on his feet, but his knee jams! Darby crawls and scrambles, but Kip drags him back! Kip catches Darby, Blade trips Sting! Blade sends Sting into barriers! Darby sunset flips Kip, Kip stays up so Darby lets him go to hot tag Cassidy! Fans are thunderous as Cassidy eggs Kip on! Kip rushes Cassidy but gets a buckle bump! Cassidy goes up top, and CROSSBODIES! Cassidy keeps moving, he ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl DDT! And kip up! Fans are thunderous again as Cassidy gives Kip those “devastating” kicks! But then Butcher runs in to CLOBBER Cassidy!
Fans boo and the ref reprimands, but Butcher brings Cassidy up. Butcher lifts but Cassidy fights the bomb! Blade gets in, they DRAG THE LAKE!! Kip covers, TWO!! Cassidy survives and Kip is furious! Kip howls, runs and CANNONBALLS! Fans boo but Kip soaks it all up. Kip is too busy having fun, he misses Cassidy tag STIIIIING! Sting walks up to give those same “devastating” kicks! Kip thinks it’s Cassidy, and turns around into quite the surprise. Sting “beats” his chest, Kip swings, but into a LARIAT! Sting really fires up, and he rallies on the Superbad Squad! Kip springboards, but Sting catches him! SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!
Ford freaks out, Blade gets up and throws hands, but Sting doesn’t flinch! Butcher adds on, the 2v1 is too much and Kip gets free. But Darby returns to fire off on Butcher & Blade! Butcher blocks one, CLUBS Darby and then hoists Darby up. Darby BOOTS Blade, BITES Butcher’s hand, then runs to DOUBLE COFFIN SPLASH! Butcher & Blade bail out but Darby builds speed, into Kip’s body shot! Kip avoids Orange’s punch, to suplex, STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE! Then Cassidy DIVES to take out Blade! Darby hops up to THROWBACK STUNNER on Kip, then he DIVES into Butcher!
Sting has Kip in the dragon sleeper, and fans are thunderous for the SCORPION DEATH DROP!! Cover, Sting’s team wins!
Winners: Sting, Darby Allin & Orange Cassidy
A huge win for the unlikeliest of trios, and Cassidy adorns Sting with the sunglasses! As for Darby, he is looking at the Double or Nothing banner. The Relentless One wants at MJF and the gold, will he be living it up in Las Vegas?
AEW shares backstage footage from last week.
After having his “Re-Bar-Mitzvah” interrupted by Darby Allin, Sammy Guevara and “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry, it was obvious Maxwell Jacob Friedman was mad. He curses up a storm, then says he is the world champion! But Darby Allin says the world title means much more than money and fame. It is him being him. And Jack Perry, for himself, his family, and everyone who supported him all this time, he is going to become champion on his own. Sammy says that the world title is his destiny! He said so since episode ONE of Dynamite that he is going to be world champion. But MJF says that’s not how it works! You don’t waltz up to the champ and call your shot, you EARN it!
MJF has beaten Darby, Sammy and JB once each in 1v1 competition in their AEW careers, and he tells them they have to become #1 contender. Good luck trying, because all three of them SUCK! Sammy says he’ll win as many matches as it takes to get that belt off MJF. JB says that you can check the record books. He’s already won more matches than any of them. Darby says he’s beaten Sammy and he’s beaten JB, so he will stop at nothing to make sure that MJF is no longer champion. Who of these three Young Pillars of AEW will be THE one that challenges MJF at Double or Nothing?
AEW takes a closer look at tonight’s main event dream match.
Excalibur narrates that, “In 2021, there was no one hotter in professional wrestling than Kenny Omega. Known as ‘The Belt Collector,’ Omega won championships around the world, including in Mexico, where he won the AAA Mega Championship. At the same time, El Hijo del Vikingo was quickly establishing himself as one of the premier luchadors in all of Mexico. A match was made for December 2021: Vikingo, Omega, for the first time ever for the AAA Mega Championship. Unfortunately, Omega’s injuries at Full Gear were so severe, they required surgery, keeping him out of action for nearly a year.
“Now, with Omega back at 100%, the dream match is on for tonight. Kenny Omega, El Hijo del Vikingo, live!” Who will come out as truly the best today?
AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Gunns VS Top Flight!
They may not be the Young Bucks, the Lucha Brothers or the Hardy Boyz, but Austin & Colten are the brother tag team reigning over AEW. But will they soon find out they are not nearly as good as they think they are? Or will the Gunns cause the Coldest Tag Team in the Game to melt down?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who is really the better brother duo!
The teams sort out, Austin starts against Dante, and Independence taunts the “ASS~ BOYS!” Austin tunes that out, knuckle locks with Dante, and then he CHOPS! Austin goes up and up, but then says no no no. Austin hops down, swings on Dante, but misses! Dante knuckle locks and CHOPS, then he goes up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAGS! Dante kips up and fans fire up! Austin tags Colten, but Dante arm-drags Colten down! Tag to Darius, the Martins double whip and speed things up, to then DROPKICK Colten down! Austin runs in, but into a DROPKICK! The Gunns regroup, but the Martins double clothesline them up and out!
Fans fire up as Dante says they’re getting those belts. The “ASS~ BOYS!” regroup and Colten slides back in. Tag to Austin, he and Dante circle again, and Austin gets around to shove Dante to ropes. Dante BLASTS Colten before the cheap shot! Dante then goes up and over Austin, only for Austin to pull hair! The ref reprimands, but misses Colten HOTSHOT Dante down! Fans boo as Austin stomps and Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Austin whips Dante out of the ring, then taunts Darius to distract the ref. Colten stomps away on Dante! Colten puts Dante in before anyone notices, and Austin bumps Dante off buckles. Tag to Colten, he stomps Dante, but lets off as the ref reprimands. Colten stomps some more, he and Austin taunt Independence and Darius, then Colten drags Dante up. Colten DECKS Dante, then mocks the fans. Colten ROCKS Dante, ROCKS him again, then suplexes. Cover, TWO! Colten stays between the Martin brothers, drags Dante over and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Austin, he stomps Dante now, then digs his boots in.
The ref reprimands but Austin mocks the fans rallying for Dante. Austin lets off and Colten CHOKES Dante! Colten lets off Dante before he gets caught, and Austin tags Colten in. Colten drags Dante up, whips him to ropes, and the Gunns body shot, knee lift and LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Colten stays between the Martins again, drags Dante up and whips him to the corner. Colten runs in but Dante dodges the splash! Austin tags in and hurries to stop Dante. Austin shoves Dante down, but Dante fakes Austin out to go under! Austin still grabs a leg, tags Colten back in, and the Gunns double back suplex! But Dante lands on his feet!
Dynamite returns to single picture, Dante goes over Austin, over Colten, and tags in Darius! Darius rallies on the Gunns and fans fire up! Darius hits an atomic drop on Austin, then LARIATS Colten! Mule kick for Austin, and Darius whips him at Colten. Austin reverses but Darius uses that to UPPERCUT Colten! Austin runs back in, but is sent into Colten! Darius uses Austin to get up and ENZIGURI Colten! Darius then GERMAN SUPLEXES Austin, and STANDING SPANISH FLIES Colten! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Darius drags Colten up. Tag to Dante, Top Flight double whip, but Colten ducks and tags Austin!
Darius leaps to CROSSBODY Colten! Austin runs in, but into a hall nelson SLAM! cover, TWO!! Dante keeps cool, he goes to the corner, but Colten grabs his leg! Dante kicks Colten away, Darius DIVES onto Colten to hit him into railing! Dante GAMANGIRIS Austin, goes up and up and NOSEDIVES!! Cover, Colten breaks it!! Fans boo but Colten was within the rules. Wait, is that THE KINGDOM!? Mike Bennett & Matt Taven are mugging Darius over their ROH losses! But Dante FLIES out onto them! Direct hit and fans fire up! Dante hurries back up, springboards again, but Austin gets under!
Colten gets in, Dante runs into a 3:10 TO YUMA!! Cover, the Gunns win!
Winners: The Gunns, by pinfall (still AEW World Tag Team Champions)
Fans boo that the Gunns win, but Darius is pissed at The Kingdom! Darius chases off Mike & Matt, will Top Flight get revenge in ROH? As for the Gunns, they hear FTR coming! Fans fire up again as Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler step out on stage with mics in their hands! Colten gets a mic to have the FTR music stop. Colten says no one wants to hear that song and no one wants to see FTR. Fans boo because they disagree. FTR says they’re not here to fight. They’re here to talk business. Well, no one wants to hear you talk! The Gunns don’t like or respect FTR. And guess what? FTR are LOSERS! They lost three sets of belts, and lost to the Gunns!
There is nothing FTR can say or offer them to get a rematch. NOTHING! Nothing? So like, if they said they’ll never challenge the Gunns again for those titles should they lose- NO! Do you not hear what Austin is saying, “you hillbillies? NOTHING! There’s NOTHING! What do you have to offer?! NOTHING!!” Then if the Gunns wanna prove their first win wasn’t a fluke, should they win against FTR again, FTR will never tag together in AEW again. Oh, the break up? So heartbreaking! LOOK AT HIS FACE! NOTHING!! Okay, okay. Dax says if FTR can’t beat the Gunns to win the AEW World Tag Team Championships, FTR will just quit AEW.
Fans boo, but it seems that got through to the Gunns. If the Gunns beat FTR again, FTR leaves AEW forever? Yes, that’s what Dax said. Well, in that case, deal! The Gunns and FTR shake on it, but then Gunns literally spin in FTR’s faces! The Gunns run for it, but the match is coming either way. Will the “ASS~ BOYS!” get their asses kicked? Or will they be the team that banishes FTR from AEW?
Backstage interview with Jade Cargill, Leila Grey & Mark Sterling.
Renee Paquette is with the AEW TBS Champion, her Last Baddie Standing and her legal representation. Renee says that Taya Valkyrie is All Elite now, and she has her eye on the TBS title. What is Jade’s reaction to that? “Renee, cut the sh*t. We had this Taya girl come in and interrupt my moment to answer an open challenge that was already closed, baby girl. And then, had the audacity to use my finisher. Mark, tie this up.” Sterling has a document, it is a Cease & Desist order. This will be sent to Taya Valkyrie, telling Taya that she is no longer allowed to use the chicken wing facebuster, which is also Jade’s move, as her finisher.
Leila says that she should deliver this document to Taya personally, this Saturday on Rampage. Because she has a few words of her own for Taya. So that’s an official challenge? Yes. Welcome to #ThatBitchShow. Will La Wera Loca have a jaded response to this frivolous lawsuit?
No Disqualifications: Hook VS Stokely Hathaway!
An injured arm turned into a suspension turned into a settlement turned into a high stakes bet that The Firm lost, and now it has resulted in this match. And though Ethan Page, Matt Hardy, Isiah Kassidy, Lee Moriarty & “Big Bill” Morrissey see Stokely off, they can’t stay per the stipulations of the bet. As the introduction says, “He’s not as large as the men he represents, he has the heart of a lion and the wisdom of an owl.” But will any of that help him defeat The Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil?
As Hook makes his entrance, Stokely grabs the mic to say, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I’ve got some breaking news! I spoke to Dr. Simpson (he means Sampson) earlier, and he said I am not medically cleared to compete. I know, I know. I wanted to so bad. And I would also, what a coinky-dink, announce that I am retiring.” What? Stokely thanks all 12 of his fands, God bless! Justin, here, doctor’s note. Make it official. Justin takes the note, and it reads, “He is SICK.” Justin says that with all due respect, that’s a receipt for Wingstop. The ref RIPS the receipt! And the bell rings! Fans fire up and Hook is ready, so Stokely bails!
Stokely runs around the ring, out to the crowd, but Hook pursues! Fans fire up as Hook chases Stokely down, drags him back, CLUBS him, then brings him over to KNEE and TOSS! Stokely ends up at ringside again and fans are thunderous! Hook stalks Stokely, Stokely runs in to UPPERCUT, but Stokely bounces off of Hook! Stokely scurries away, gets back up, and runs in, but into a leg capture! EL CAMINO to the floor! Fans fire up as Hook drags Stokely up, puts him in the ring, and then looks under the ring. Fans fire up more, because here comes a SPARE GUARD RAIL! Hook puts that in the ring while the Firm can only watch.
Hardy tries to calm the group down, Stokely can take care of himself with things getting “hardcore.” Ethan says no he can’t, they didn’t practice any of the hardcore stuff! Stokely bails out again but Hook puts the railing in a corner. Hook drags Stokely up but Stokely BLASTS Hook with the fire extinguisher! Fans boo but Stokely gets a chair! Stokely smacks the steps a couple times, he says, “I’m not a killer, but don’t push me! That’s Tupac.” Stokely hurries in, fans rally up, and Stokely swings, but Hook blocks! Hook BOOTS Stokely, then SMACKS him on the back! And again! And again! And again!
Hook throws the chair aside, Stokely is barely moving! But Hook drags Stokely up to EL CAMINO onto the railing! The railing BENDS! Hook drags Stokely off the railing, covers, but then pulls him up at TWO! Hook wants REDRUM!!! Stokely is OUT, Hook wins!
Winner: Hook, by submission
The FTW Champion could’ve ended it sooner, but he chose to teach Stokely a lesson: Do not get on Hook’s bad side. Hardy says Ethan must avenge Stokely! Ethan can beat Hook! Hardy is gonna get a match made right now! All Ego is ready, but will he be ready when they #SendHook?
Adam Cole is here!
Fans fire up as the Undisputed One heads to the ring. Naturally, everyone joins in on the “BOOM!” and “ADAM COLE BAYBAY!” Cole gets the mic and says, “Wow. Hey, hey, I think I know the answer to this, but who’s ready for Storytime with Adam Cole, baybay?” Everyone cheers! Cole continues with, “Seven days. We are just seven days away from me making my in-ring return here in AEW. And listen, I know I’ve talked a ton about my struggles and what I went through, but as far as how I’m feeling right now? Guys, I feel freaking great. I have never been more ready, never been more prepared, to get back in this ring, doing what I love, and that is wrestle for AEW.”
Fans are fired up, and Cole knows everyone has questions. “The biggest one being: Who is my opponent going to be on March 29th?” Fans echo, “Who? Who? Who?” Cole starts to speak, but here comes Daniel Garcia! Fans boo as Red Death has the mic to say, “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Who’s ready for Storytime with Daniel Garcia, baybay?” Garcia knows Cole’s been gone awhile, so here’s an update on a few things. Fans tell Garcia to STFU already but Garcia says since Cole’s been gone, Garcia’s become a real veteran in AEW. All the boys in the back respect him so much that he is a locker room leader!
Fans boo more but Garcia says as locker room leader, it is his duty to come out here to not only welcome Cole back, but to put him in his place, too. Garcia says Cole may not remember, but here’s an update on what Garcia’s been doing the last nine months while Cole was home, “playing stupid video games on Twitch.” Cole smirks but allows it. Brody King: beat him! Ricky Starks: beat him! Bryan Danielson: Garcia beat him, too. Garcia’s main-evented more AEW programming over the past year than anyone else on the roster! Garcia is the lifeblood that pumps through this company. And he’s to respect Cole? To welcome Cole back? Where’s Garcia’s warm welcome?
Where is Garcia’s respect when he’s been here, been doing this, and proved himself as one of the best pro-wrest- Oops. Freudian slip there? Garcia corrects himself, “Sports entertainers on the planet today!” That’s what Garcia is! So what makes Cole so special? “What makes me special? When they ring the freakin’ bell, that’s what makes me special! That’s what makes m e special.” Cole admits he likes Garcia. Garcia is really, really good. And some day, he could be leading the charge in AEW. The problem is the company he keeps.
“The Jericho Appreciation Society, they’ve done a great job of giving you this false sense of security. This overconfidence, which sometimes is good, and sometimes is bad. But let me remind you, even me not wrestling for nine months, I am still Adam Cole Baybay. I am a multi-time world champion. I have traveled the globe, fought and beat some of the very best! As a matter of fact, while I was sitting at home for nine months, I was wondering if I’d ever get the chance to wrestle again, hoping, praying, willing to do anything for a second chance. And looks like I found that second chance.”
Fans fire up and Cole says if Garcia is crazy enough to want the match, then dammit, he’s on! Adam Cole VS Daniel Garcia, first-time-ever, next week on Dynamite! But Cole will remind Garcia of something: “This is not just my return match; this is a statement. It’s a statement to the entire locker room that one of the best damn pro-wrestlers on the planet is BACK, baybay.” Fans are fired up for “ADAM COLE! ADAM COLE!” Cole hopes Garcia realizes what he’ sin for. Because Cole promises next week will be a great night. A great night for Cole, for the fans, but for Garcia… Not so much. “See you next week, Garcia. BOOM.”
Cole is ready, Garcia is ready, but will the Dragonslayer stay a great sports enner-tay-ners? Or will the pro-wrestler in him rise to the surface against one of the greatest pro-wrestlers alive today?
Alex Marvez is outside The Elite’s locker room.
Marvez can hear a conversation going on inside, and he steps inside. Callis and Omega are talking, and Callis wants Marvez to hold on. What is Omega’s concern here? Omega’s concern is that his best friends left in an ambulance! He should’ve gone with them! Callis says he sent Cutler and Nakazawa with them. Omega has a match tonight! Hear Callis out. He’s a glass half full kind of guy. Injuries happen, but hear him out. The Bucks going to the hospital might’ve been the best thing for Omega and Callis. It allows for focus! Omega is in a singles match, the God of Pro-Wrestling is back! “Those kids will be fine in a few months.”
Callis now has Marvez join in. “Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo is gonna blow the roof off! The God of Pro-Wrestling is BACK, and it starts tonight on Dynamite! Now get out.” Marvez throws this back to ringside, but is Callis only thinking of his benefit, not Kenny’s?
Jon Moxley w/ The Blackpool Combat Club VS Stu Grayson w/ The Dark Order!
The Maniac, along with Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta, have torn into the Dark Order from Silver to Reynolds to Evil Uno. They did all that to anger Hangman Page, but they’ve also angered #PlayerTwo! Moxley may be #ForgedByCombat, but will he survive someone born and bred for combat?
The bell rings and Stu RAMS Moxley into a corner! Fans fire up as Stu fires off on Moxley but lets off as the ref counts. Moxley turns things around to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Moxley pie faces Stu, but Stu turns things around to CHOP back! Stu stalks Moxley to another corner, KNEES him and CLUBS him, then stalks him to a third corner. Moxley kicks low, ROCKS Stu with a forearm, then another, then digs his boots in. The ref counts, Moxley steps off at 4, then Moxley drags Stu up to headlock takeover. Stu keeps his shoulders up, the Dark Order coaches him up but Moxley gets a knuckle lock cover. TWO as Stu gets his left arm up.
Moxley pushes the hand down, covers, TWO as Stu gets the right arm up. Moxley pushes that arm down again, covers, ONE as Stu gets his left arm back up. Stu fights to his feet but Moxley kicks low. Moxley headlocks, Stu powers out but Moxley RAMS him! Moxley runs, but Stu RAMS him! Moxley runs in, clips Stu but is sent out of the ring. Stu hurries out after Moxley, Moxley throws a chair! Stu avoids it, ROCKS Moxley and puts him in the ring. Moxley kicks back, but Stu RANAS! Stu fires forearms, CHOPS Moxley in the corner, then throws knees. Stu whips corner to corner, Moxley reverses and avoids the up ‘n’ over!
Moxley reels Stu in for a SAIDO! Stu staggers up but then flops out to the apron. Moxley runs to BLAST Stu off and to the barriers! Moxley flips Stu off while Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Yuta & Claudio taunt Stu as the ring count climbs. The Dark Order coaches Stu up and he gets in the ring at 5 of 10, but Moxley is right on him. Stu throws a forearm, then another, and another, and another! But Moxley ROCKS Stu with just one! Stu falls over and Claudio yawns. It seems this isn’t competitive enough for the Swiss Superman. Moxley has the legs, he stomps Stu in the stomach, then ties the legs up. But Stu fights back with fists! Moxley still powers Stu into the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Stu endures as Moxley sits deep, and he reaches out to the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Moxley lets off at 4.
Moxley drags Stu up to CHOP, but Stu CHOPS back! Stu fires forearms, whips, and DROPKICKS Moxley! Moxley goes to a corner, Stu is after hm with a whip, but Moxley reverses to clothesline! Moxley then brings Stu out to X-PLEX! Moxley paces around, the BCC applauds, but the Dark Order coaches Stu. Moxley reels Stu in, lifts him, and hooks the legs to hit the GOTCH PILEDRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Stu is still in this, but Moxley has the knuckle locks back. Dynamite returns to single picture as Moxley rains down the DRAGON STOMPS! Cover, TWO!! Stu hangs tough again, but Moxley just taunts him.
Fans rally, Stu rises, and Moxley KICKS him in the chest! And KICKS him again! Moxley eggs Stu on, then KICKS him more! Moxley SLAPS Stu! Stu snarls and stands up to fire off forearms! Stu whips, Moxley reverses but Stu CLOBBERS him! Stu dodges, tilt-o-whirls and REVERSE DDTS! Then he rains down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Fans fire up as Stu gives Moxley a taste of his own medicine! And then the SIDE EFFECT! SPRINGBOARD MARIPOSA! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives and Stu grows frustrated. Stu hurries up a corner, but Yuta distracts! Fans boo but the Dark Order storm up on the BCC!
Stu decides to change course, he ARIHARA MOONSAULTS onto Yuta & Claudio! But Moxley DIVES onto Stu! Moxley puts Stu in the ring, hurries after him, but Stu BOOTS Moxley down! Stu hurries back up top, for the 450 SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives again and Stu is shocked! But Stu slashes the throat and drags Moxley up. Torture rack, but Moxley slips off right into the BULLY CHOKE!! Stu endures, but he’s turning red! Moxley shifts to the facelock to throw in KNEE after KNEE! Then he shifts to the REAR NAKED CHOKE! But Stu fights up to his feet! Fans fire up but Stu is fading again!
But Stu is still on his feet, and he revives! BACKPACK CANNONBALL!! Both men crash into buckles and Stu is free! Fans are thunderous again and Moxley sputters back to his feet. Moxley brings Stu up, but Stu slips out of the underhooks! PELE!! Moxley falls down and the BCC coach him up. Stu goes back to a corner, climbs back up top, but Moxley ROCKS him first! Moxley climbs, CLUBS away on Stu, then CLAWS Stu’s back. Moxley HEADBUTTS Stu, brings him up into underhooks! SUPER DEATH RIDER!! Cover, Moxley wins!!
Winner: Jon Moxley, by pinfall
The Dark Order hurry into the ring and Moxley backs off, there won’t be any extracurriculars here. But will the Dark Order ever get payback on the mean SOBs in the BCC?
Backstage interview with Ricky Starks.
Renee says she can feel the frustration coming off The Absolute. The back ‘n’ forth with him and Juice Robinson, where do they stand? You tell him! Starks is “sick and tired of talking back and forth. No action, all talk.” Starks doesn’t wanna stand around, take time off his vacation, just to say Juice, he doesn’t like that you attacked him from behind. That’s cool and all, but whatever! How about this, though? Saturday Night Rampage, Starks is done talking. If Juice wants to face him man to man, then he can find Starks on Rampage! If not, just stop! Starks is over it, he is so sick of it! This is the craziest thing he’s been a part of his whole life!
Starks is issuing the open challenge to Juice. If Juice accepts it or not, is a man or not, Starks doesn’t give a damn anymore. The Absolute will be waiting, but will the Booster oblige?
AEW presents an all-new episode of QTV!
QT Marshall says great job last week in their debut, keep the “credibility train” rolling. CHOO-CHOO~! He needs scoops! Harley Cameron says she actually has discovered a “hot new prospect.” Goes by the name of Rey Fenix. And actually, here’s some footage. Hobbs POUNCING Fenix into buckles int heir TNT title match, and the spinebuster, and the Town Business. Everyone has a laugh, and QT says, “Imagine being in the Lucha Brothers, and your own lucha brother doesn’t come out to help you.” Aaron Solo says there is definitely some miedo! Then he laughs while also puffing mouth spray…?
QT asks who the hecc is Alex Abrahantes? Harley says Alex should work on his “character development.” Speaking of, how about Solo stealing Wardlow’s identity and freezing all of his accounts? Oopsie~! Yeah, Wardlow’s gonna lose his house and car, too! And Solo hacked into some observer’s accounts, started this whole thing about hotels. HAHA! QT just got a call from Hobbs. This Saturday on Rampage, another Open Challenge for the TNT title! Can’t wait to see who is the next chapter in the Book of Hobbs. Well, wait no longer! PENTA wants payback for Fenix as he answers the call! Will Hobbs be the one with some fear?
Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts VS Skye Blue!
The Lightning From Down Under has been striking down “spoiled rookies” again and again, but in the Dark. Will she do so again in the spotlight of Dynamite? Or will Skye roll the Storm away?
The bell rings and Storm BLASTS Skye with a forearm! Then she stomps a mudhole into Skye in the corner! The ref counts, Storm lets off but she grins and soaks up the heat. Soho & Saraya mock Skye, then Storm bumps her off buckles., Skye elbows back, fires forearms in return, and the fans fire up! But Storm knees low! Storm whips Skye, Skye kicks back! Skye ROCKS Storm again and again, but Storm shoves her away. Skye comes back, spins Storm for a KNEE SMASH and a DROPKICK! Storm bails out, fans fire up and Skye goes to the apron! FLYING RANA! Fans fire up with Skye but Saraya is mad.
Skye puts Storm in the ring, climbs up the corner, but Storm ROCKS her! Skye falls to the apron, then Storm HIP ATTACKS Skye to the floor! Storm distracts the ref, allowing Soho & Saraya to stomp away on Skye! Fans boo but the Outcasts get away with it! Saraya says, “This is OUR house!” Storm goes out to fetch Skye, and RAMS her into the apron. Storm CHOPS Skye against the post, then bumps her off the other. Storm CHOPS Skye again! Saraya says do it again! Storm puts some stank on this one, but Skye ducks, so the chop hits POST! Saraya & Soho panic as Storm clutches her fingers! Skye then runs in, but Storm dodges so Soho gets DECKED!
Storm CLOBBERS Skye from behind while the ring count climbs. Storm refreshes the ring count, Saraya shouts at Skye, and Storm CHOPS Skye again. Storm stalks Skye around the way as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Storm drags Skye around to snap suplex her to the floor! Storm flexes, perhaps taunting Jamie Hayter wherever she’s watching this from, and then she goes back for Skye. Storm puts Skye in the ring, flexes more, then drags Skye up. Storm whips Skye to ropes, BOOTS her down, covers, ONE! Cover again, TWO! Another cover, TWO!! Skye is still in this but Storm clamps on with a full nelson. Storm leans on the hold, thrashes Skye around, but Skye endures. Skye fights up, but Storm throws her down by her hair! The ref reprimands but Storm just stalks Skye. Storm kicks Skye around, has her in the corner, and digs her boot in.
The ref counts, Storm stomps but lets off at 4. Storm drags Skye up to snap suplex! Storm grins then stalks Skye. Storm drags Skye up to snap suplex again! Storm flexes more, stalks Skye to another corner, then wrenches her hair to TOSS her across the way! The ref reprimands but Storm just wrenches hair and TOSSES Skye again! Dynamite returns to single picture as Storm soaks up the heat. But Skye shoves Storm down! And then TOSSES Storm by her hair! And again! Skye fires up, runs corner to corner, but Storm puts her on the apron. Skye ROUNDHOUSES! Skye climbs up, to CROSSBODY!
Fans fire up, Skye keeps moving, she ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl headscissor! Storm ends up on ropes, Skye runs to SHINING WIZARD! Snapmare and SUPER- NO, Storm blocks and spins Skye, but Skye BASEMENT ENZIGURIS! Cover, TWO!! Storm survives and Skye grows frustrated. Saraya & Soho are also frustrated, they rally for Storm but the fans rally for Skye. Saraya tells the fans to shut up! Skye runs, hops on, but Storm shrugs her off! Skye SUPERKICKS! Skye runs, into a THESZ PRESS! Storm rains down fists, then she snarls as she stands back up. Storm gets the legs, but Skye kicks her away!
Skye runs in, only for Storm to spin her around! Storm uses the ropes, TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!! Skye survives and fans fire up! Saraya is furious but the ref says the count was fair. Skye goes to a corner but Storm says kiss this. SWEET HIP- NO, Skye picks the ankle! Skye KNEES Storm, runs, avoids Soho’s swipe, and she hits CODE BLUE!! But Soho is still distracting the ref!! Skye would’ve had this if not for Soho! Skye gets in Soho’s face, swings at her, but Storm runs in! Skye sends Storm into Soho, rolls and bridges, TWO!!! Storm stands, into a BOOT! Skye full nelsons, Storm arm-drags free to SHOTGUN Skye down!
Saraya says Storm has this now! Storm says kiss this, and here comes SWEET HIP MUSIC!! GERMAN SUPLEX, and then STORM ZERO!! Cover, Storm wins!
Winner: Toni Storm, by pinfall
The Outcasts with the assist, but now they bring out the spray paint! Fans boo as the Outcast scare off the ref, then surround Skye! But here comes Riho and Willow! Just like last week, Riho has the pipe!! Riho runs the Outcast off and warns them. The Outcasts leave for now, having gotten the win. Will Riho, Willow and Skye start thinking of sticking together from now on?
The AEW medical staff checks on Stu Grayson.
They’re working on his left arm, where did they feel it pop? But then Moxley sneaks up to say, “It’s just business.” And he puts on the SLEEPER!! Claudio & Yuta TOSS the medics aside! Stu is all alone as Moxley chokes him out, then SMACKS him off a trunk! The BCC give Stu the icepack back then leave, what will Hangman & the Dark Order have to say about this?
Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo!
The AAA Mega Championship match that was meant to happen in December of 2021 was denied because of injury and misfortune. But now we are all fortunate enough to have this match happen here! “HE was the longest reigning Mega Champion at 765 days, 292 days more than El Hijo del Vikingo. HE never lost that title. HE is undefeated in singles matches in Mexico and also on Dynamite. Many people say HE is also undefeated at life. HE is often complimented on his accomplishments, matches, chiseled physique and hair, yet he is personally proud of his win-loss record in Independence, Missouri, which is better than his record of 1-1 in… NOOOORTH CAROLINA~!
“He arrives tonight after his 833 mile journey from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Weighing 224 pounds, HE is…! KENNY! OOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEGAAAAAA~!” The fans go wild for the Cleaner, the Best Bout Machine, and Don Callis’ God of Pro-Wrestling, but will Omega prove he is better than the Mega Champion?
But as Omega makes his way down the ramp, El Hijo del Vikingo DIVES onto him! Fans fire up, EHDV throws off his cape, then he runs again, to FLY! Direct hit again and Independence is thunderous! EHDV puts Omega in the ring, springboards and MISSILE DROPKICKS! Omega ends up in a corner, EHDV runs in to clothesline! EHDV fires off forearms, but Omega turns it around to fire them back! The ref wants them to let off, this isn’t a match yet! Omega rains down fists, lets off, and now the bell rings! Fans are thunderous as Omega stomps EHDV down. Omega drags EHDV up, whips him corner to corner, but EHDV slips out to the apron!
Omega hits buckles, then EHDV ENZIGURIS! And GAMANGIRIS! EHDV climbs up, and jumps to IMPOLODER DRAGONRANA! Omega goes flying, then staggers up into the SCREW HIGH KICK! Omega’s on the ropes, EHDV runs to DOUBLE KNEE him through the ropes! Omega falls to the floor, EHDV refreshes the count, and fans say “This is Awesome!” EHDV SHOOTING STAR PRESSES to the floor! A bit double-edged, but fans lose their minds! Callis protests, the ring count climbs, but EHDV puts Omega in the ring. EHDV aims, slingshots and then springboards to 450 SPLASH! Cover, TWO!!
Omega goes to a corner, EHDV runs in to GAMANGIRI again! Omega staggers away, EHDV pursues but Omega CHOPS! And CHOPS again! EHDV falls over but Omega stalks him to a corner. Omega brings EHDV up to JAB! And JAB! fans rally and duel, Omega drags EHDV up to whip. Omega scoops EHDV for a tilt-o-whirl BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Omega drags EHDV back up fast, to fisherman BUSTER! Cover, TWO! EHDV hangs tough and Omega is frustrated but the fans are loving this. Omega stalks EHDV to the ropes, scrapes him to the apron, and then Omega goes out to follow EHDV.
Omega CLUBS EHDV, and whips him hard into barriers! EHDV falls in a heap, but Omega goes looking under the ring. Omega brings out a TABLE! Fans fire up for that, and Omega stands that table up near the ring. The ref reprimands, this isn’t a Tables match or anything like that. But fans chant, “WE WANT TABLES!” as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Omega drags EHDV up, puts him in the ring, and Omega storms up to scoop and BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Omega clamps on with an armlock and chinbar, but he also fishhooks EHDV’s face! The ref reprimands, Omega lets off, but then pulls on EHDV’s hair! The ref counts but Omega lets off at 4. Omega looms over EHDV, stomps him, stomps him more, then springboard stomps! Omega drags EHDV around to KNEE him in the side! And again! Cover, TWO! EHDV hangs tough but Omega just snarls. Omega drags EHDV up to CHOP him back down! Omega drags EHDV up again to CLUB him back down!
Omega drags EHDV up at the ropes, ROCKS him with a right hand, then ROCKS him again! And again! And again! The ref reprimands and counts, Omega lets off, but then Omega CHOKES EHDV with his foot! Dynamite returns, the fans boo and the ref counts, but Omega lets off at 4 again. Omega ROCKS EHDV again, JABS him, then whips him to ropes. EHDV ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl RANA! Omega goes to the apron, fans fire up as EHDV pursues! EHDV ROCKS Omega, but Omega tomahawk chops back! EHDV CHOPS, but Omega CHOPS! EHDV CHOPS back, so Omega BOOTS him! Omega runs in, goes up, and he MONKEY FLIPS EHDV on the apron!
EHDV falls to the floor while fans lose minds over how tight that one was. Omega drags EHDV up to the apron, and he grins as he looks at the table he set up. Omega drags EHDV up, the ref reprimands but Omega full nelsons! EHDV slips free to GAMANGIRI again! EHDV goes up top, balances on the post, and FLYING DRAGONRANAS!! Fans are thunderous as Omega hits the floor! Omega flounders into the ring, EHDV shoves him further in. Fans say “This is Awesome!” as both men go to corners. EHDV runs corner to corner to clothesline! EHDV hoists Omega up top, and GAMANGIRIS yet again!
EHDV climbs up after Omega, fans fire up again as they start to brawl! Omega HEADBUTTS, reels EHDV in, and SUPER POWER- STEINER!!! EHDV reverses just in time, Omega clutches his head! EHDV goes to the ropes, stands from the middle and PHOENIX SPLASHES in!!! Cover, TWO?!?! Omega survives by nanoseconds!! Independence is electric as both men rise up! They hope these two “FIGHT FOREVER!” but it has to end somehow! EHDV throws a forearm, a SOBAT, and then he runs to springboard, into a POWERBOMB!! And then another POWERBOMB! Roll through and V-TRIGGER!! Cover, TWO!!!
Omega is furious as EHDV survives! Omega slashes his throat, drags EHDV up, and he full nelsons for a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Omega snarls, he puts EHDV on the ropes and takes aim. BANG and V-TRIGGER!! But that’s not the end of it! Omega drags EHDV up, deadweight as he is, and Electric Chair Lifts! But EHDV throws down fists! EHDV hops down, UPPERCUTS, then goes up and up to FLYING POISON-RANA!!! Omega tumbles to the apron, and EHDV crawls over to push him onto the table! EHDV builds speed while fans fire up, and he goes up to ESCALARA 630 SENTON through the table!!!!
Independence is volcanic for “A E DUB! A E DUB!” while Callis is freaking out! Both men are down in the wreckage as the ring count starts. EHDV crawls away at 3 of 10, Omega finally stirs at 4. Both men drag themselves up at 6, stand at “OCHO!” And both men slide in at 9! EHDV covers, TWO!!! Omega is still in this and EHDV is beside himself! Fans rally up, both men rise again, and EHDV throws a haymaker! Omega gives it back, they go back and forth, faster and faster! They go forearm for forearm, stand up, and keep throwing shots! EHDV gets the edge, SOBATS, runs, into a V-TRIGGER!!
Omega whips, EHDV rolls up and SUNSET FLIP BOMBS! TWO?!?!? Omega narrowly escapes again and even HE is shocked! But EHDV hurries to a corner and climbs up top! Omega flounders in the drop zone, EHDV 630 SENTONS but FLOPS as Omega moves!! EHDV flounders up, into a V-TRIGGER!!! Omega drags EHDV up, Electric Chair Lifts, ONE WINGED ANGEL!!!! Cover, OMEGA WINS!
Winner: Kenny Omega, by pinfall
This was a dream match the moment it was made, but this became an all-time classic by the end! Tony Schiavone joins Callis and Omega in the ring to say this was an incredible match. Omega is back in singles competition, and that was one for the ages! Omega thanks Schiavone for that. The more time goes by, the more he wonders if he can still do this kind of stuff for the fans. Wait, wait! THE BCC JUMPS OMEGA!! Moxley, Claudio & Yuta all mug Omega, and fans boo while Callis can only shout at the ref to stop this! The BCC stand Omega up so they can throw body shots and haymakers!
Fans continue to boo, but wait! Sirens? An ambulance has returned? For who? Wait, HANGMAN is driving it!! The Cowboy has a 2×4, with nails in it! Fans are going nuts for “COWBOY SH*T!” while the BCC stomp away on Omega. But here comes Hangman, wood in hand! The BCC decide to bail! Callis checks on Omega but the damage has been done. Hangman wants Moxley to get his ass back in here, but he stays back. Callis tries to calm Hangman down, but he almost gets 2×4 to the face! Callis keeps pulling at Hangman’s arm to hold him back, but Hangman shakes free and Callis falls right down! Omega comes to, and misunderstands why Callis is down!
Callis blames Hangman but Hangman says he didn’t do anything to Don! Omega and Hangman argue, Callis cowers behind Omega, and Omega takes Callis’ side. Fans boo, but is this just Callis keeping Omega all to himself?
My Thoughts:
A great episode of Dynamite, but it already feels like they’re gonna keep things going until Double or Nothing, no big thing for April. We got a great promo out of the Four Young Pillars, and MJF is making the other three run the #1 contender race like he did Bryan Danielson from now until, I dunno, probably May 3rd so that May can focus on building MJF VS his challenger. Hard to say who it’ll be, but Darby’s off to a good start with that great Six Man Tag. Darby, Sting and Cassidy made an eclectic but great combination, especially with Sting borrowing some Freshly Squeezed tactics. And Cassidy’s International Championship card is open to just about anyone at this point.
Really good tag title match, but I should’ve figured shenanigans would help The Gunns retain. The Kingdom and Top Flight are solidly ROH Tag title contenders with #ReachForTheSky needing teams. Plus, The Gunns’ real story is with FTR, who came back to have a really good promo with them. Gunns VS FTR, Titles VS AEW contracts could honestly go either way. There’s a lot of talk out there of FTR going back to WWE since it’s under HHH right now, so this move could be how FTR exits AEW, but this could also be what guarantees FTR staying. Either way, this is going to be some really big stuff for the titles.
Good promo from Jade and her group, and you do have to appreciate Sterling’s gimmick of bringing about frivolous lawsuits on behalf of people to poke fun at wrestling tropes. The security guards finally got justice, even though they also got crushed by Wardlow, and now finishers that are exactly the same but with different names are being questioned. Pretty sure Leila loses the match and Taya tears up that document, though. Then it’ll be about who hits the chicken wing facebuster first to win that title. Jade has done an amazing job being an undefeated inaugural TBS Champion, but now is the time to move on to someone else so Jade can move on to the top title.
Great segment out of Hook, Stokely and The Firm. Great show from Stokely with trying to weasel out of this, then trying to run away from this, but of course he gets thrown around. Awesome use of spare guard railing, though. I figured Hook VS Ethan was going to be how this wraps up, can’t wait to see how that goes. And I appreciate Starks getting a little meta on the bad pacing of feuds. Starks VS Juice for Rampage, if it happens, will be great stuff, and maybe shenanigans helps Juice win to keep this going. Though, I feel like Starks and Juice could each be doing something better than spinning their wheels with each other. Give me Starks VS Hobbs and Orange VS Juice for those respective titles.
Speaking of which, only the second QTV segment and I’m just done with it. But they did point out the weird logic of Penta not being out there with Fenix last week. Penta VS Hobbs will probably go the same as Fenix VS Hobbs did, and Wardlow will come back for revenge. Also, another wrestling trope that needs poking at: Solo confessed to illegal activities but he won’t get investigated or arrested because it’s wrestling. If Sterling were a Face lawyer, he’d be right on Solo’s ass. But maybe Wardlow beats the crap out of Solo as his punishment, then he gets his shot at Hobbs at Double or Nothing to put this story to rest.
Great promo from Cole and Garcia, and I appreciate they had Garcia have that slip of the tongue. Garcia is of course enjoying the fun side of being a sports entertainer, showing off his personality and just doing whatever shenanigans he wants, but he also clearly enjoys the pro-wrestling stuff of just fighting. Garcia VS Cole is going to be awesome stuff, but Garcia and the JAS also have their story with the House of Black so who knows how the finish goes. Great match out of Storm VS Skye, and Skye looked great even in defeat. Another inconsistency in wrestling logic: Riho & Willow should’ve been ringside to start because they know The Outcasts will be up to no good. But I suppose that does give Riho & Willow their moment of heroism in running the Outcasts off.
I bring up that inconsistency in logic because that match was after Moxley VS Grayson, where both men had their allies ringside. The men can think to bring their boys but the women’s division can’t think to bring their friends along, when we’ve also always seen Britt have Rebel and/or Hayter and vice-versa? Anyway, great stuff out of Moxley VS Grayson, and Grayson also looked awesome even in defeat. The BCC apparently went after everyone Hangman considers a friend, as the Bucks were taken out off-camera by them, and then the BCC jump Grayson.
And then, for being a non-title TV main event, Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo went above and beyond anything I would’ve expected. There were some scary moments, like that Super Steiner counter to the powerbomb. But then again, it wouldn’t feel like an AAA match if there wasn’t some risk like that. BCC jumping Omega after he wins was a good way to keep the Elite reunion story going, but now there’s the new wrinkle of Don Callis wanting Omega to stay a singles star. To be fair, this is very much like the story of Callis, Omega and The Elite when AEW first got started. Callis wants Omega to return to that Omega, and he throws Hangman under the bus.
Another pro-wrestling logic thing is that no one watches the show back when it’s done, unless it helps the story. And I would hope Omega does that here to see what really happened as opposed to just trusting Callis and distrusting Omega. Or if not Omega, the Bucks can. The Bucks will have seen it on TV at the hospital (kayfabe) and The Bucks will tell Omega that Hangman didn’t hit Callis. Callis is also trying to recruit Konosuke, so it’d be great if Callis only comes out of this with one client. If Omega realizes not to trust Callis over The Elite, then Callis and Konosuke can stick together. If Omega still keeps Callis around, Konosuke can reject Callis to stay his own man.
My Score: 8.9/10
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Will NXT be UNBESIEGBAR?
While Stand & Deliver is on the horizon, Ilja Dragunov and JD McDonagh look to settle their NXT rivalry! Will the Czar trump the Irish Ace once and for all?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- NXT Women’s Championship Qualifier: Tiffany Stratton VS Indi Hartwell; Tiffany wins and advances to the title match at Stand & Deliver.
- Ilja Dragunov VS JD McDonagh; Double Disqualification Draw.
- NXT Women’s Championship Qualifier: Lyra Valkyria VS Ivy Nile; Lyra wins and advances to the title match at Stand & Deliver.
- The Great Debate: Chase U VS The Schism; Chase U wins.
- Bron Breakker & Carmelo Hayes w/ Trick Williams VS Pretty Deadly; Bron & Melo win.
PLAY BY PLAY
Pretty Deadly heads to the ring.
Kit Wilson & Elton Prince, the hosts of Stand & Deliver, are apparently just fine after getting thrown through a table last week. Elton has the mic to say, “Attention, attention. Quiet please. It is us, your hosts of Stand…” “And Deliver!” #YESBOY! And as their first official act as the hosts of Stand… and Deliver, they are officially wiping the footage of last week’s closing segment from the archives! You will no longer be able to view those “neckbearded mouth-breathing” Gallus boys cheat to win!
Nor will you see Bron Breakker & Carmelo Hayes jump them from behind to put them through a table! Elton already pretends to not know what happened. The gumption of those two! If not for the fact that these two are the hosts of Stand… and Deliver, those two wouldn’t even make it to Lala Land. Last week is history, today is a mystery. But let’s not get too far off the point. Let’s talk outfits for Stand… and Deliver! Now, hold on, talking about outfits, did you see those horrid ensembles both Melo and Bron were wearing last week? Main event talent, sure. But main event style? But wait, here come Trick Melo Gang!
Trick asks if his mic is working. It is. Good. Because he told the two bobbleheads to be quiet when grown-ups are talking. But Pretty Deadly interrupted so they had to get some “table service.” Melo says not to get it twisted. He was so dripped out, he left puddles! Talk about it. While Melo prepares for his biggest match ever, Pretty Deadly is standing here with his name in their mouths? In all fairness, Mr. Melo, Kit said it. Don’t try and be cute. HEY! They were born cute! They don’t have to try. HEY! Remember what Trick said about talking during grown folks business! We’re talking about the FUTURE NXT Champion! We don’t need that bad juju.
Trick figures Pretty Deadly shouldn’t talk the talk, but walk the walk. Um, hold on, there might be a break down in communication. They only speak the king’s English. But if they want to have a match, if Melo wants to jeopardize the main event of Stand…! And Deliver, then they ACCEPT! Good! Because tonight, the main event, Pretty Deadly VS the man, the myth and the legend, Carmelo Hayes, and his partner… BRON BREAKKER! Trick even tricks Melo there! But then Pretty Deadly attacks! They throw Trick out then mug Melo! But here comes BRON! Bron CLOBBERS Kit, DECKS Elton, and then TOSSES Kit! Elton runs in, he also gets TOSSED!
Bron trophy lifts Kit, and THRWOS him out onto Elton! Pretty Deadly has a pretty nasty landing, and the fans fire up! Bron offers Melo a hand, Melo takes it, and the two stand. Bron says nothing is gonna happen to Melo between now and Stand & Deliver. Melo scowls and takes his leave, but will the champion and challenger be able to stay civil on the Road to WrestleMania Weekend?
Trick and Melo regroup backstage.
Melo asks Trick what the heck, and Trick says he doesn’t know. That was all Trick Melo Gang, they didn’t need Bron. Bron wants Melo at his best, and he’ll get just that. And that means NEW NXT Champion, but he’s teaming with Bron now? Trick always has Melo’s back, right? Yeah, but Melo doesn’t wanna do that “Can they coexist?” crap! But Trick has Melo’s back. Melo needs to know Bron’s speed, flow and body control. Now he’ll have a front row seat. He’ll have the blueprint. Trick himself takes care of the conversation: “Thanks, Trick.” “You’re welcome, Melo.” And Pretty Deadly is easy money. Trick will make sure of that.
And at Stand & Deliver, the most important thing is still the most important thing. That’s all it is, and that’s all it’s gonna be.
NXT Women’s Championship Qualifier: Tiffany Stratton VS Indi Hartwell!
Daddy’s Little Rich Girl claimed she was going to Stand & Deliver even before Roxanne Perez retained the title against Meiko Satomura. But now with the title quite literally up in the air, will she take a spot in the ladder match? Or will #IndiWrestling finally have her moment in Hollywood?
The bell rings and fans rally behind Indi. Indi and Tiffany tie up, Indi headlocks, but Tiffany powers out. Indi runs Tiff over, covers, ONE! Indi wrenches an arm, RAMS shoulders, then wrenches again. Indi RAMS Tiff again, then YANKS the arm. Indi whips Tiff to a corner, runs in, but into a BOOT! Tiff runs in to CLOBBER Indi! Cover, TWO! Tiffany is annoyed but she drags Indi up. Indi wrenches out, and short arm LARIATS right back! And then short arm LARIATS again! Tiff dodges the next one, kicks low and snap suplexes! Cover, TWO! Fans rally, Tiff stomps Indi and talks trash, but Indi hits back!
Tiffany CLUBS Indi, drags her up and whips her to a corner hard! Indi bounces off buckles and Tiffany taunts her more. Indi blocks the whip, blocks it again, and ROCKS Tiffany with forearms! Tiffany kicks low, whips Indi hard into another corner, then runs to handspring and back elbow! Tiffany runs, but Indi avoids the stomps! Roll-up, TWO! Indi stomps Tiffany, puts her through ropes, and then uppercuts, but misses! Tiff trips Indi, but Indi kicks her away. Indi goes to the apron but Tiff TRIPS her! Indi hits the apron, Tiff says this is HER world and we’re all just living in it. Fans boo as NXT goes to break.
NXT returns and Tiffany has Indi in a chinlock. Indi endures, fights up, and throws body shots. Tiffany comes back, but into a JAWBREAKER! Indi runs in but Tiff sends her to ropes! Tiff runs to HIP ATTACK! Cover, TWO! Indi is still in this and Tiffany grows annoyed. Tiffany scoops but Indi slips off and waistlocks. Tiff runs to RAM Indi into buckles, then she DOUBLE STOMPS Indi down! Cover, TWO! Indi survives and fans rally up again. Tiffany drags Indi up, whips her to the corner, but Indi reverses. Tiffany goes up and over and handsprings, then comes back, but into Indi’s BIG back suplex!
Both women are down and fans rally back up. Indi and Tiffany crawl after each other, and Indi throws a forearm! Tiffany throws it back, but Indi throws another! They brawl as they stand up, Indi ROCKS and kicks and CLUBS and DECKS Tiffany! Fans fire up and Indi puts Tiffany through ropes to UPPERCUT and BOOT! Tiffany falls, Indi covers, TWO! Tiffany hangs tough but Indi runs in. Tiff dodges the boot to POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Indi is still in this and Tiffany pounds the mat in frustration. Fans boo as she goes to the apron, and Tiffany springboards. Indi avoids the swanton! SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO!!
Indi is surprised Tiffany survives, but she hurries to bring Tiffany up. Tiffany RAMS Indi into the corner, but Indi ELBOWS her back. Indi goes up but Tiffany YANKS her down! Fireman’s carry, and ROLLING SENTON! BEST MOONSAULT WHATEVER! Cover, Tiffany wins!
Winner: Tiffany Stratton, by pinfall (advances to Stand & Deliver)
Love her or hate her, the spoiled rich girl backed up her big talk. She is now the third woman to compete in the ladder match, but just how many more participants is HBK going to add?
Gallus is at the bar again.
They have more pints, they’re playing more pool, and they’re happy to be past Pretty Deadly. It is still Gallus Boys On Top! Mark Coffey breaks, but in walk the Creed Brothers. Gallus, funny seeing you guys here. Uh, everyone knows where to find them, Brutus. They’re not hard to find. They fancy a game? Sure, Gallus can break. Alright. Two more pints for Gallus, and uh, two glasses of milk for the Creeds. Milk? C’mon! Brutus will have what they’re having, but Julius is already too wild sober. They play a game, and once again, Gallus dominates the green felt. Eight ball, corner pocket for the win.
Great game, lads. Well, 8 Ball was never their game. Now darts? BULL’S EYE. Well alright, Gallus will throw. And just as Julius said, he and Brutus dominate. They want another round? Yeah, best two outta three. Except that round goes to the Creeds, too. Well, Gallus never took the Creeds for a pair of archers. Hey, they work hard in the dojo, and play hard outside. Well, between pool and darts, that just means they’re tied, 1-1. And they could go all day, but Julius has a better idea for the tiebreaker. Wolfgang and Mark know, too. Stand & Deliver, for the tag titles. No Pretty Deadly, no Indus Sher, the Creeds want the belts back.
Well, Gallus will gladly see them in LA, but the titles are staying with them. See you then. They all shake on it, then head out. Only for Tony D’Angelo & Channing Lorenzo to be waiting. Where’s everyone going? Next round’s on The Don. Because they have business to discuss. Stand & Deliver, that is. Really? Well, this is gonna be a long night. Everyone goes back inside the bar, will Tony and the Underboss get themselves a part in the Hollywood title picture?
Lyra Valkyria speaks.
As she runs up the stairs and through the halls of an abandoned building, she says, “Stand & Deliver, Los Angeles, get ready to soar.” But will she overcome her first obstacle here tonight?
Backstage interview with Gigi Dolin.
McKenzie Mitchell is with someone who has already qualified for the NXT Women’s Championship Ladder Match, and asks Gigi her feelings on the field so far. Gigi say sit is too early to judge. As sad as it is, if Roxie didn’t get hurt, this match wouldn’t be happening. Also, in regards to Jacy Jayne and her bad shoulder, sorry not sorry. Jacy tried to make Gigi’s life a living hell, so she can stay home and watch as Gigi climbs the ladder. The last time Gigi was in a ladder match, she won it. And she has been put through the wringer since. But mentally, no one has any idea. Gigi will do anything to-
Tiffany walks in to interrupt. She “loves” the confidence and all, but did you see her just win and get in that match? So Gigi and every other woman’s chances just went from “possible” to “absolutely screwed.” That title is Tiffany’s. Oh, another Tiffany Epiphany! Tiffany’s gonna win by climbing that ladder all the way to the tippy top! And she’ll love it. Tootles. Gigi makes a face, will Gigi slap that smug attitude right out of Tiffany come Stand & Deliver?
Wes Lee is in the ring.
“OOOH YO! Things have been absolutely crazy around here, right? And y’all have been enjoying these open challenges, correct?” Fans cheer and Wes says that’s good, because he has, too. But he constantly gets asked, “Why? Why are you doing it this way? Why continue to roll the dice? Eventually, your number’s gonna get called.” To Wes, he doesn’t wanna be a hypocrite. When he won this title at Halloween Havoc, it was his first shot at it. And he just knew he had to give it everything he had, because if he came up short, he doubted he’d ever get another shot. And now, as champion, he vows to give anyone the opportunity that was in that same position he was in.
Now, secondly, he knows he’s looking deep within himself, but he has a chip on his shoulder. He needs to prove not just to the world, but to himself, that he can and will compete against the best athletes in the world! That he deserves to carry the title! That he deserves to be our NXT North American Champion! Fans fire up for that, but Wes says many have seen a bit of this fire from that “creeper” vid of him and HBK. And HBK made it clear Wes had four spots for four superstars to compete against him at Stand & Deliver. But wait, here comes DRAGON LEE! Speaking of one of the best from around the world…!
Dragon Lee joins Wes Lee in the ring and has the mic. “Wow, wow, wow. Thank you, all. Nice to meet you, Wes.” Wes says it’s nice to meet him. Dragon says that he came to NXT for the same reason as Wes. But to Dragon, Wes IS the best. But y’know what? Dragon LOVES the chaos! And at Stand & Deliver in LA, Dragon wants to part of that challenge against Wes. Wes says this is what he loves. Wes has followed Dragon’s career from Mexico to Japan, and has wondered what’d it be like if the two of them tangled. And when Dragon signed with NXT, Wes thought it’d be like six to eight months before they got to.
But everyone knows Wes is impatient! So let’s make it official! Dragon gets the first spot! See you in LA! But wait, here comes the Irish Ace! JD McDonagh is going to face Dragunov later tonight, but he says, “Look what it is! Wes Lee, Dragon Lee, the Lees putting each other over. It’s funny you two are running your mouths about the best in the world, I’m backstage warming up. So Dragon, you’re new here, I’ll give you a pass this week. But I suggest you grab a chair, sit your ass front row, and watch a grandmaster at work when I dismantle Ilja Dragunov.” Fans boo but JD tells Wes, “What’s your excuse?”
Wes’ excuse? What’s gonna be JD’s excuse after Ilja rips him apart? Fans fire up for that! JD steps into the ring, and he says Wes should count himself lucky that JD hasn’t had his eyes on that title. Because if he had, not only would Wes not be standing here with it, he wouldn’t be standing at all. But wait! Here comes the Czar! JD is here, so Dragunov isn’t gonna wait! Time for the grudge match! Will either man be left standing after this one?
NXT Anonymous has another video.
Whoever they are, they watch as Indi storms backstage and takes her frustrations out on a trash can. Then she gets mad at Zoey for smirking. Indi asks, “What the hell are you looking at?” Zoey says, “Definitely not the next NXT Women’s Champion.” Zoey heads off, is this the end of the road for #IndiWrestling in NXT?
Kiana James watches in the locker room.
She says that was a pretty good line from Zoey. Fallon Henley then walks in and Kiana mocks Indi for not making it to Stand & Deliver. But they are, tag champ! Isla Dawn & Alba Fyre don’t stand a chance- Enough, Kiana. She knows what’s going on here. Fallon, don’t worry, Kiana isn’t worried about the singles title. No, not that! Sebastian! Kiana’s eyes go wide, but then she denies even recognizing that name. Save it, Kiana. Fallon was in your office. What?! How’d she even get past security!? Fallon says that doesn’t matter, she saw the flowers and the card. Card? What? PROOF! Kiana freaks out again!
How can Kiana even sleep at night, cheating on Jensen!? Fallon knew better than to trust Kiana! Now she’s gonna go tell Jensen. Oh, yes, go run to Brooks and tell him. That’ll screw up EVERYTHING before the biggest match in their careers! But Jensen is family! Kiana may not care about him, but Fallon does! Fallon storms off, what can Kiana do to stop the truth from getting out?
Ilja Dragunov VS JD McDonagh!
NXT returns and the bell rings. These two fire off forearms and fists right away! Dragon watches ringside just like JD wanted as Dragunov ROCKS him! JD rebounds to ROCK Dragunov, but Dragunov rebounds to ROCK JD! They keep going back and forth, then Dragunov BOOTS JD! JD roars as he stays up, but Dragunov ENZIGURIS him down! Now Dragunov roars and fans fire up! Dragunov KNEES JD in the side again and again, then drags him up to CLUB him on the back! Fans rally up for that, “ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!” and Dragunov CLUBS JD again! Dragunov then whips JD to a corner, runs in, but JD slips out!
Dragunov knees the buckles, and JD trips him to slingshot TORNILLO SPLASH! Dragon is impressed, but fans boo as JD throws down forearms. Dragunov gets away to a corner, but JD storms up to COHP! JD digs his knee into Dragunov, the ref counts, and JD lets off at 4. Fans boo but JD brings Dragunov up to short arm LARIAT! Dragunov flounders, JD covers, TWO! JD drags Dragunov up to snap suplex! Cover, TWO! Dragunov gets away to ropes but JD stomps him. JD drags Dragunov up to wrench, but Dragunov breaks free and trips JD! JD avoids the falling forearm, and the backhand! Dragunov avoids the headbutts!
The forearm start flying again, and both men DECK each other! Fans are thunderous for “NXT! NXT!” and Dragon nods his respect. JD and Dragunov go forehead to forehead, and JD SLAPS! Dragunov SLAPS! It is a SLAP fight! Fans are thunderous again as the SLAPS keep going! JD swings, misses, GERMAN SUPLEX! Dragunov drags JD back up, but JD throws elbows. Dragunov still GERMAN SUPLEXES! Fans want that ‘ONE MORE TIME!” so Dragunov drags JD back up. JD fights the waistlock, pries it free to switch and shove, but Dragunov hits the CONSTANTINE SPECIAL! Both men are down and the fans are thunderous again!
Dragunov drags JD to a cover, TWO! “This is Awesome!” as Dragunov stands back up. Dragunov runs in to KNEE JD in the corner, then puts him down. Dragunov goes up, KNEE DROP! Dragunov roars and goes back up top! But JD stands to ROCK Dragunov! And CHOP! JD climbs up, but Dragunov fights back with body shots! Dragunov HEADBUTTS JD away, then adjusts. JD comes back to grab hair! JD THROWS Dragunov off the top! Fans boo and JD brings Dragunov up to throw him into ropes! Dragunov flops out of the ring and fans boo more while NXT goes picture in picture.
JD grins as he watches Dragunov down on the floor. Dragunov sputters and stirs but JD goes out after him. JD drags Dragunov up for an APRON BACK SUPLEX! Dragunov flounders away, JD hurries in, and he drops an AX HANDLE! Cover, TWO! JD kicks at Dragunov, but Dragunov eggs him on. JD stands Dragunov to ROCK him! Dragunov CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! But then his arm gives up! JD hits a BIG DDT!! Dragunov tumbles over his own head and neck! The ref checks him, he’s somehow okay to continue but he’s shaking. JD stands Dragunov up to whip him hard into the corner!
Dragunov falls to the mat, JD drags him to a cover, TWO! JD grows frustrated with Dragunov, and he clamps on a facelock. JD grinds Dragunov down, Dragunov fights up, and Dragunov pries free to wrench the arm. JD KNEES Dragunov low! Dragunov falls and clutches his gut, but JD stalks him to ropes. JD wrenches an arm, to hit an atomic BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Dragunov is still in this but JD keeps his focus. JD stomps Dragunov around, digs his boot in, and then gets the arm. JD steps through for a standing leg hook nelson! Dragunov endures as JD puts on more pressure, and NXT returns to single picture.
Fans rally, Dragunov bridges up against the hold, but JD just pushes him back down. JD straightens out the arm like an armbar, but Dragunov still fights. Dragunov has turned this into a STRETCH MUFFLER! Now JD endures and flails for the ROPEBREAK! Dragunov lets go at 4 and fans rally up. JD PENALTY KICKS Dragunov in the back! JD drags Dragunov up for Kawada Kicks! And then a SLAP! But Dragunov kips up, only for JD to duck the Pele! JD fires off more Kawada Kicks, but Dragunov HEADBUTTS! JD HEADBUTTS, but Dragunov kips up to PELE!! Fans are thunderous as both men are down again!
JD and Dragunov slowly rise, and fans hope they “FIGHT FOREVER!” This has to end somehow, and Dragunov rains down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Dragunov puts JD in a corner to CHOP him! And then stalks him to another corner, to CHOP him! Dragunov shoves JD to a corner, JD ducks the chop to ELBOW back! But Dragunov stands up to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! JD pie faces Dragunov, but that just pisses Dragunov off! MACHINE GUN CHOPS!! Dragunov stops but he brings JD in to waistlock and SIDE SLAM! Cover, TWO!! JD survives but Dragunov holds on!
“This is Awesome!” as Dragunov drags JD back up. JD fights to ropes, that HOTSHOTS Dragunov, and JD brings Dragunov in! POWERBOMB! High stack, TWO!! But JD holds on with a waistlock of his own. JD drags Dragunov up to GERMAN SUPLEX! JD still holds on, they stand again, for another GERMAN SUPLEX! JD lets go, and Dragunov just rises up! Dragunov swings, into another GERMAN SUPLEX! But Dragunov is up to ROUNDHOUSE JD down!! Fans give a standing ovation as both men fall! Dragunov staggers his way to a corner, and he shouts, “UN! BE! SIEG! BAR!!” TORPEDO- NO!! Takedown into body scissors!
Fans shout “NO! NO! NO!” but Dragunov fights the Irish Twister to rain down fists! JD kicks Dragunov away but Dragunov comes back, LEAPING FOREARM!!! Fans cheer “This is Wrestling!” as both men bail out. They SLAP and SLAP and SLAP! They both grab hair, and they tumble into Dragon Lee!! Dragon is pissed, but JD JABS him for the hell of it! Only for Dragunov to swing! JD dodges, the BACKHAND hits Dragon!! Dragon is FURIOUS, he fires hands on them both!!
Double Disqualification
Fans go nuts as we get a brawl between all three men! But then WES LEE FLIES IN!! The Cardiac Kid helps Dragon fight against Dragunov and JD! Refs rush in to stop this brawl, but fans want to “LET THEM FIGHT!” Will the only way to settle any of this be at Stand & Deliver?
Trick Melo Gang finds Bron Breakker backstage.
Melo tells Bron that he and Trick didn’t need Bron to handle Pretty Deadly, or to be in the tag match with Pretty Deadly. This isn’t that “Can they coexist?” crap! Bron doesn’t want that, either! The Melo that Bron wants to face at Stand & Deliver is the best Melo. They said it last week that they have an opportunity to make something special happen at Stand & Deliver. So Bron isn’t gonna let two clowns, i.e. Pretty Deadly… Though, Trick Melo Gang, too… Screw it up. What’s Bron mean by that? Well, Trick is always up to something. Trick says he’s up to nothing. He just wanted Bron to share the ring with the future NXT Champion.
Oh, is that so? Melo has Bron leave Trick alone. Bron wants the best possible Stand & Deliver, and so does Melo. Then let’s finish this. Good. Big tag match tonight. Nice doing business with you. Trick Melo Gang leaves, but will they be leaving the arena in one piece?
Backstage interview with Wes Lee.
McKenzie can tell Wes is riled up after that brawl. It seems chaos follows him everywhere. Wes admits, he threw himself to the fire on this one. But Ilja and JD will never be done with each other. But the last two weeks, JD has gotten in Wes’s face and Wes is sick and tired of it! So JD gets the second spot. And Ilja is Europe’s finest. The only way to put that to the test: he gets the third stop! So that leaves one spot left. Who will it be? Axiom walks in and says if there’s room for one more…
Wes knows Axiom wants this and he has been close so many times. But there are still so many others to consider. And Wes wants to give everyone a fair shot, sot he only way to do that, “the chaos continues. We’re about to have ourselves a battle royal, y’all! And the winner gets the fourth and final spot.” axiom says that’s fine. He just wanted a chance, and now he has it. Will the Undeniable Truth be undeniable in that chaotic Battle Royal next week?
Johnny Gargano is here!
Fans fire up for the Rebel Heart, as- Wait. That’s not Johnny Wrestling! That’s JAVIER BERNAL!! Big Body Javi just trolled everyone! “When that music hit, you all thought Johnny Gargano was coming out. But you were wrong! Hah! Just like I thought I was going to Stand & Deliver, the biggest event of the year. But I was wrong. And you know who’s to blame for that? JOHNNY GARGANO!” Johnny took Javi’s spot! Who the hell does Johnny think he is? He’s been gone for 6, 8, 10, 12 months! Has he not been watching NXT while he was away? Javi s the heart and soul of NXT! He has been busting his ass for seven YEARS! Well, no, months.
But what does Johnny have that Javi doesn’t? Johnny Wrestling? No, Big Body Javi is better! Javi would take himself over Gargano every day of the week! How many Christmas albums does Gargano have? NONE! And between the two of them, they’re Triple Crown Champion! *All Johnny. But HBK, Javi says you chose the wrong guy! Wait, here comes the REAL Johnny Wrestling! Fans fire up as Gargano goes right to the ring and he CLOBBERS Javi! Fans fire up more as Gargano TOSSES Javi out! Then RAMS him into barriers! And then RAMS him into steel steps! And then TOSSES him over the barriers!
Fans cheer on Johnny and he grabs himself a mic. “Grayson! Grayson! Grayson Waller! I know you’re somewhere around here, I know you’re listening. You wanna make things personal? You wanna raise the stakes? Let’s raise the stakes. In my hand is a contract for a type of match I know very, very, very well. April 1st, Stand & Deliver, Grayson Waller VS Johnny Gargano… in an UNSANCTIONED MATCH!! No rules! Anything goes! No one is liable for what I do to you. Grayson, all you have to do is come down here and sign it.” But Waller is here via tron. Fired up tonight, huh? Seems he feels better than when he was down and out on his own front lawn.
Waller gets it, Gargano is upset. But an Unsanctioned match? Does Gargano wanna embarrass himself on the biggest stage in NXT? That’s too far, even for Gargano. Not far enough! Come and sign this! Waller says if Gargano thinks he’s going down to that ring, he’s crazy. But Waller will let Gargano give that contract to Vic Joseph so Waller can sign it next week. And, it has to be on one condition: Gargano is BANNED from the building next week. If Waller whiffs even a bit of Gargano, he’s not signing and no one gets what they want. Gargano says if that gets Waller to do it, deal! Gargano gives Vic the contract to hold on to.
Gargano sees Javi get back up and in, and SUPERKICKS him down! Johnny Wrestling wants to unleash everything on Waller, but will he come to regret throwing away all the rules?
There is a moonlight ritual going on.
“There is more to us than you think. I appreciate the significance of my heritage, but I must carry the responsibility of progression. I will hold my people up, and lead the way forward.” Eddy Thorpe is ready to level up to NXT, next week!
Backstage interview with Ivy Nile.
McKenzie brings up how Tatum Paxley betrayed her last week, and can only imagine how devastated she must be. Ivy says she was surprised, just like everyone else. It took her a long time to trust someone like she did Tatum. She let her guard down, and got burned. Tatum is a little “out there,” so the rest of Diamond Mine let her do her. But they thought she was part of the team. So for Tatum to say they weren’t a team, that hurts. But tonight isn’t about Tatum. Tonight, Ivy has an opportunity. If she beats Lyra, Ivy goes to Stand & Deliver and possibly becomes NEW NXT Women’s Champion. Not even Tatum can ruin that.
Hank Walker speaks.
“Everyone’s journey is unique, and mine’s been one hell of a ride.” Security guard turned superstar, but he’s been an athlete his whole life, and was even a three-year starting offensive lineman at North Carolina State. But no sport could’ve prepared him for the WWE. There have been ups and downs, he’s made friends, found a mentor in Drew Gulak only to be abandoned by Drew Gulak. Gulak and Charlie Dempsey don’t see it. They say Hank’s not cut out for this, but he’s gonna work his ass off to prove them wrong. All he needs is himself, and all he needs to do is keep evolving. That is what NXT is all about.
Drew Gulak & Charlie Dempsey are watching.
Gulak mockingly calls that promo “cute.” Dempsey says that’s one way of putting it. Walker still lacks the killer instinct. Exactly! A teacher can only the door, but it is up to the student to see it through. That’s why Hank will be nothing more than “another nice guy.” The technicians have a laugh, but will Hank prove them all wrong?
NXT Women’s Championship Qualifier: Lyra Valkyria VS Ivy Nile!
The Morrigan and the Diamond Pitbull are going to fight tooth and nail to take that fourth spot in the ladder match! Will Lyra fly higher than the mountains to get that golden ticket? Or will Ivy move mountains to go to Hollywood?
NXT returns and Lyra makes her entrance. The bell rings and the two circle. They feel things out, tie up, and Lyra wrangles Ivy down then Oklahoma Rolls and turns it into an O’Conner Roll! TWO, and Lyra hurries up to go after a leg. Ivy blocks, facelocks, rolls and steps over to flip Lyra over! Cover, ONE! Ivy keeps on the arm but Lyra rolls free. Ivy TACKLES Lyra, drags her back, but Lyra rolls to her feet. Lyra trips Ivy, has a toehold, but Ivy pries her down to an ARMBAR! Lyra clasps hands, Ivy stomps her! They get up, Lyra headbutts low! And KICKS! Ivy grits her teeth but Lyra tells her she’s not gonna stand in her way. Ivy just KICKS Lyra back!
Ivy eggs Lyra on, so Lyra KICKS! Ivy KICKS back, but Lyra scowls. DOUBLE ROUNDHOUSES bring both women down! Fans fire up and we see Tatum watching backstage. Ivy gets a leg, Lyra blocks to hook the arms but Ivy fights the backslide! Ivy spins around, gut wrenches Lyra to SLAM! Cover, TWO! Ivy keeps cool, and she kicks, but Lyra ducks to kip up and ENZIGURI! Fans fire up and Lyra roars! SOBAT! Front kick! HEADBUTT! BOOT! Lyra then reels Ivy in, but Ivy blocks the lift! Ivy facelocks, to snap suplex! Fans rally up, Ivy runs in to CALF KICK her to a corner! Then DIAMOND DRAGON!!
Lyra flails, climbs the corner and goes up and over! GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans rally up again, Lyra HEEL KICKS Ivy down! Cover, Lyra wins!!
Winner: Lyra Valkyria, by pinfall (advances to Stand & Deliver)
The Morrigan breaks through Diamond Mine’s female titan, and now she is going to Stand & Deliver! But will she reach the highest point in the NXT Women’s Division by becoming champion?
Fallon Henley looks for Jensen.
But as she looks, Isla Dawn’s laugh echoes through the hall, and there’s a flash of lightning and crack of thunder! And Alba Fyre CLOBBERS her! Fyre & Dawn mug Fallon and mockingly ask where her friend went. But Kiana runs in to fire off on them! The champs fight back against their challengers, refs rush in but Fallon sends Fyre into the wall! Isla talks trash on Kiana, she and Fyre slip away. Kiana and Fallon regroup, and Kiana says that she can’t tell Jensen. Kiana has to be the one. Fallon agrees to that. Will Kiana let Jensen down gently? Will the team be able to stick together against the Wicked Witches of NXT?
NXT Media catches Wes Lee on his way out.
They ask him who he thinks will win next week’s battle royal. Wes says he doesn’t think you can predict something like that. Just sit back, relax, and watch as it unfolds. Just like he plans on doing, and just like he knows all the fans will do. But then Jinder Mahal walks over to say he will see Wes at Stand & Deliver. And then Dijak walks over to say, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you.” And then Dabba-Kato walks up with a big smile. There is no one that will stop him in this battle royal. Wes can’t even. But three of the biggest and baddest are throwing their names into the hat, will any of those giants be the winner?
It’s the NXT Great Debate!
Blake Howard welcomes us as this debate’s mediator, as the crowd is clearly divided between Chase U students and Schism loyalists. These two groups argue they have the better teaching method here in NXT. First up, Rip Fowler and Duke Hudson. “How has your group approached the topic of inclusion?” The first turn goes to Rip. Rip says “Togetherness has always been the founding principle of The Schism. Whilst others hide behind their masks, we have removed ours and prospered together. Duke Hudson, Ava presented you with a gift. An opportunity to remove your mask of phony school spirit, and the Schism will welcome you with open arms.”
Duke’s rebuttal: “Um… Yeah. I mean, Ava did give me a mask. I dunno. Our university has passion. It gave me a sense of belonging, right? It’s nice to feel included in things, I guess. That’s what I think about inclusion.” Andre Chase facepalms at the lack of enthusiasm and commitment from Duke. WTF, man? Thea and Ava are next. “How does your group make you feel safe?” Ava says “The world is a harsh and uninviting place. But I rest comfortably in loving arms, knowing that there is safety under The Schism’s tree. Andre Chase University offers a false sense of security made up of cement walls.
“But The Schism raises invisible walls that block out the world’s negativity, and allows our minds and bodies to wander freely beyond.” Thea’s rebuttal: With a motormouth pace, she says “Webster’s Dictionary defines ‘safety’ as the condition of being safe from hurt, injury, or loss. Protection from hurt, injury and loss come from healing! And I’ve learned a lot of methods of healing through the connections I’ve made at Chase University. The Schism, while claiming safety, brainwash you into believing in safety, and that is hazardous to the mind, body and soul. Thank you, good night.” Chase high-fives Thea on the rebound. Where’d that come from? She doesn’t know, she blacked out.
And thirdly, Professor Andre and Joe Gacy. “How would you rate the preparedness of the other members of your group to leave the nest?” Andre is given the first turn, but Gacy interrupts! “Mr. Chase, your students already answered that for you. They are not prepared! A marble-mouthed doubter, and a reprogrammed wind-up toy? They don’t know which way is up! Moderator, tally the scores.” But then TYLER BATE appears! He apologizes for his tardiness, but he steps forward to say his part. Chase allows it, as does the moderator. That means Bate and Jagger Reed have a showdown!
“How would you sum up the experience of your group?” Jagger says, “It’s simple. Four roots. One tree.” The audience even gets involved on that one. Bate’s rebuttal: “I can objectively say that to excel in NXT, it takes more than just physical prowess inside the squared circle. It takes a big strong mind, open to new ideas. To collaborate and learn, with a willingness to listen to what others have to say, just as they would for you. Now, the Chase University experience is one of growth and constant evolution. It’s ignited a career in Thea Hail, rejuvenated Duke Hudson, and fortified Andre Chase himself!
“Now, the growth of Chase University IS the growth of NXT! And that’s something that The Schism has never and will never achieve!” Chase U’s student section cheers that! Chase thanks Bate for that. And now that they’ve beaten The Schism down philosophically, it is time they beat The Schism down physically! A match! The Schism VS Chase U & Bate in a Mixed 8 Tag at Stand & Deliver! And in Hollywood, they will give The Schism an Andre Chase University sized ass kicking!! Gacy says NO! The Dyad beat Chase U as a team, and Gacy beat Chase 1v1. The Schism is far superior physically and philosophically. There’s nothing left to gain here.
Duke says they’ll put up the school. What? Yeah, Duke, what? You heard him. Winner gets control of Chase University. Then they’re on. Chase is unsure, but this could be Duke’s high stakes gambling past coming back to haunt him. Will Chase U come out of Hollywood with nothing?
NXT checks back in with the bar.
Everything’s a bit hazy, but Gallus, the Creeds, The Don and Underboss have made it through the night. Look at the time! This has been great, but Tony & Stacks have a thing to take care of. Nice place they found here. Might need a broom, though. Julius says, “Don’t you guys know a cleaning service?” Tony snatches his hat off Julius’ head, and says yeah, they do. But not the kind you’re thinking of. Brutus says that was fun. Wolfgang slurs and stammers as he says, “Why’s it gotta stop?” Cuz the Creeds got what they came for, and then some. Then let’s bring the fun to Stand & Deliver. Triple Threat Tag! See you boys in LA.
Oh, and don’t forget to tip the bartender. Gallus is in the best shape out of these boys, but will they still be standing tall after Stand & Deliver?
BREAKING NEWS for next week!
There will be still one more spot in the NXT Women’s Championship Ladder match! And in a Last Chance Triple Threat, it will be Sol Ruca VS Ivy Nile VS Indi Hartwell! Who will redeem themselves on the Road to WrestleMania to still have their shot at the title?
Bron Breakker & Carmelo Hayes w/ Trick Williams VS Pretty Deadly!
The NXT Champion and his challenger may not like Trick’s idea of a team-up, but if it means shutting up Kit & Elton, they’ll do it. Will Bron & Melo body slam the hosts of Stand & Deliver once again? Or will this be about “Can the coexist?” in the end after all?
The teams sort out and Elton rushes in! Melo dodges, but then Kit CLOBBERS Melo! Kit covers, ONE!! Kit drops a knee, talks trash, then runs, but Melo drops, hurdles and ducks! DROPKICK! Then arm-drags! Melo has the armlock, fans rally but Kit arm-drags, only for Melo to arm-drag right back! But that just puts them closer to the Pretty Deadly corner! Elton tags in, Kit holds Melo in place, and Elton runs to UPPERCUT Melo! Elton then brings Melo out to UPPERCUT Melo down. Melo bails out, Elton kicks him from the apron, and Pretty Deadly go after Melo together. But Bron storms over to keep them from throwing Melo into steel steps.
Bron says Pretty Deadly isn’t going to ruin Stand & Deliver. Pretty Deadly lets off of Melo, but then Kit CLUBS Melo on the back. Kit puts Melo in the ring, covers, TWO! Kit drags Melo up, wrenches, but Melo wrenches back and snapmares to PENALTY KICK! Melo runs, but Kit FLAPJACKS! Tag to Elton, he sucker punches Bron, then Pretty Deadly coordinate. “Yes, boy~!” Pretty Deadly both run, but Bron gets in so that he and Melo can stare Pretty Deadly down. Pretty Deadly look to each other, then they throw hands! The brawl is on and both Bron and Melo get the edge. Then they decide to work together!
Bron helps Melo with the SPRINGBOARD LARIAT! Melo flies over Kit to CLOBBER Elton! Bron then RANAS Kit out of the ring! Fans fire up with the champion and his challenger, but they bump into each other. Bron offers handshake, Melo shows fist bump, so paper covers rock. No, man! Melo & Bron wait on Pretty Deadly and fans bark it up as NXT goes picture in picture.
Kit & Elton regroup on the other side of the ring, so Melo tags Bron. Bron waits on someone, but Kit distracts and Elton runs in to CLOBBER Bron! Elton CLUBS Bron, wrenches an arm, but Bron wrenches back. Tag to Melo, he goes up and drops AX HANDLES on the arm! Melo CHOPS Elton to a corner, wrenches and brings him back, tag to Bron. Bron goes up and he drops AX HANDLES! Bron wrenches Elton, but Elton throws body shots. Elton headlocks, Bron powers out, things speed up and Bron hurdles, to then catch Elton for a SPINEBUSTER! Bron rolls through to fireman’s carry!
Bron pops Elton up to a suplex! Bron walks around with Elton and even Melo is impressed. Bron then SLAMS Elton, and he dares Kit to do something. Kit talks trash, steps inside, and Bron DECKS him! But Elton CLOBBERS Bron again! Elton CLUBS Bron, whips him to ropes, but Bron ducks ‘n’ dodges, only to run into a FLAPJACK onto ropes! Elton tags Kit, then Elton anchors Bron so Kit can drop the ELBOW! Cover, TWO! Kit runs to KNEE Bron in the side! And then he runs to KNEE Bron again! Bron goes to the apron but Kit drags him back in. Kit wrenches the arm as NXT returns to single picture.
Fans rally as Bron endures, and Bron fights up. Kit CLUBS Bron down, grinds the arm again, then grabs the other arm for a motorcycle stretch. Bron endures, fights up, but Kit knees low. Kit facelocks, Elton goes up the corner, but Melo GAMANGIRIS Elton down! Bron blocks the buckle bump to elbow Kit! Kit tags Elton, Bron dodges Kit, tag to Melo! Melo hurdles Elton to DECK Kit! Melo dodges Elton to springboard LARIAT! Fans fire up, Melo BOOTS Elton! Kit grabs Melo but Melo wrenches an arm to drag Kit over, slingshot suplex onto Elton! Cover, TWO! Fans rally behind Melo as he stalks Elton.
Melo brings Elton up to ROCK him and whip, but Elton reverses. Elton hurdles, Kit reels Melo in for a DDT! Elton hurries to cover, TWO! Elton drags Melo up to UPPERCUT him back down! Elton stalks Melo to ropes, he UPPERCUTS Melo again, then puts him in the corner. Elton stomps away but lets off as the ref counts. Elton poses, storms back up, but Melo kicks low! And kicks again! Kit tags in, he and Elton stomp Melo. Fans rally as Pretty Deadly double whip, and double shoulder! “Yes, boy!” SPLASH LEG DROP COMBO! Cover, TWO! Kit drops a leg of his own, then drags Melo from Bron.
Kit talks trash, stands Melo up, and ROCKS him! Kit runs in to UPPERCUT Melo! And DECK him with a right! Kit YANKS Melo into a BOMB! Cover, TWO! Melo kicks back from below but Kit CLOBBERS him! Trick coaches Melo but Kit clamps on a chinlock. Melo endures, fans rally up, and Melo fights up. Melo throws body shots, but Kit CLOBBERS him! Tag to Elton, and he stomps away on Melo! Fans boo as Elton drops an AX HANDLE! Cover, TWO! Elton drags Melo away from Bron and stays between them. Elton drags Melo up but Melo ROCKS him! Elton shoves Melo but Melo sunset flips on the rebound! TWO, and Elton CLOBBERS Melo! Cover, TWO!!
Trick and Bron coach Melo up and fans rally. Elton drags Melo up, but Melo ROCKS Elton! Elton ROCKS Melo, Melo ROCKS Elton, and then Melo ROCKS Elton again! Elton keeps Melo from Bron, but Melo breaks free, only to miss his enziguri! But Melo BOOTS Elton away! Hot tags to Kit and Bron! Bron rallies on Pretty Deadly! BIG shoulder tackle for Kit! Haymaker for Elton! GERMAN SUPLEX for Kit! GERMAN SUPLEX for Elton! Kit fires hands with Bron, Kit whips, but Bron ducks ‘n’ dodges to CLOBBER Kit! Fans fire up and Bron grins. Bron drags Kit up in a waistlock, to GERMAN SUPLEX!!
The straps come down, fans fire up with Bron, but Bron climbs up the corner. Fans bark it up, and Bron FLYING BULLDOGS! Cover, Elton breaks it! Melo hurries in to ROCK Elton and BOOT him! Elton flops into the ropes, Kit stands, and Bron runs in! Kit sends Bron at Melo!! Melo goes up the corner and Bron pulls up, avoiding the collision! But Elton struggling in the ropes distracts the ref, Melo hits a CODE BREAKER on Kit! Bron SPEARS Kit down!! Fans fire up as Bron tags Melo to give him the last shot. Melo with NOTHING BUT NET!! Cover, Melo & Bron win!
Winners: Bron Breakker & Carmelo Hayes, by pinfall
Melo don’t miss, and Trick finishes taking notes on Bron. Melo fetches the belt, but hands it over to Bron. Will the game plan be ready so that Melo becomes him? Or will nothing break the Big Booty Nephew?
My Thoughts:
A really good NXT here, and a lot of quick developments for Stand & Deliver. I do appreciate the consistency of tag teams challenging Gallus for the tag titles through bar games. Tony D & Stacks made their intentions known last week, so them confronting Gallus was expected, but The Creeds getting in on this was a surprise. The tag titles becoming a Triple Threat match is cool, but all three teams are essentially Faces. I’m sensing some kind of shenanigans brings one team around to be Heels, and it won’t be the Creeds. I would personally love it if was Gallus with Joe Coffey returning to help win. Gallus can’t truly be on top if they’re down a man.
Good stuff out of the NXT Women’s Championship story. Good match out of Tiffany VS Indi, and I figured Tiffany would win that. Gigi had a good promo to both address Jacy Jayne and the growing field, but also good promo from Tiffany to keep her character at that just insufferable level. Good promo from Ivy, decent one from Lyra, and good match, but not that strong of a match. I’m a bit torn, as this was a great opportunity for Ivy to even have this qualifier match, but honestly, it should’ve been Stevie Turner. Stevie was the one with that “randomizer” that chose to highlight Lyra, why not give us a match of those two? It’s not like Stevie’s actually busy streaming.
Good stuff out of the women’s tag title story, too. Kiana and Fallon were both great in talking about this Sebastian, and then I like the creativity of the ambush. Instead of lights out and teleporting in, or even just running in, Isla & Alba use fake lightning and thunder to disorient Fallon before the attack. Fighting Alba & Isla off was a decent way to bring Kiana and Fallon back onto the same page, and we’re going to get quite the moment next week in the go-home. And good promo from Hank Walker but also good promo from Gulak & Dempsey. Their story will have to wait until after Stand & Deliver, and could be something big for Spring Breakin’ 2023.
Javier swerving us was very clever, I did not think Javi would get in on this story. Good response from Gargano, and going right for Unsanctioned is nuts! No Disqualification, sure. No Holds Barred, sure. Last Man Standing even! But I guess this is all to represent how long Gargano’s stewed on his grudge for Waller, and how this escalated after Waller found the Gargano house. And given how Waller wants Gargano completely banned from the building next week, it’s so obvious Waller is going to threaten Vic physically, maybe even get physical with Vic, and Gargano can’t do anything about it, thereby adding more fuel to the fire.
Great stuff out of the North American Championship story, with a great promo from Wes and from Dragon Lee, and a good promo from JD ahead of his match with Dragunov. That match was awesome, as all the Dragunov VS JD matches have been, but I should’ve seen it coming that they’d end up colliding with Dragon Lee to bring this around into the North American title match. Wes VS Dragon VS JD VS Dragunov is awesome all on its own, but great move to have a battle royal to decide the fifth person in that match. Axiom has a good promo to let us know he’s gonna be in that match, but I also like that Jinder, Dijak and Dabba-Kato each had a couple lines to let Wes know they’re coming. Dijak’s had his shots, he surely won’t win. But Dabba is definitely a possibility.
Really good segment out of The Great Debate, and nice heroic appearance by Tyler Bate to help Chase U pull out the win. And just as I was hoping, we’re getting a Mixed 8 Tag, and this is going to be great stuff. Putting up the school, aka the faction in itself, is big stuff for Chase U, but I feel like the match could still go either way. And good stuff out of Pretty Deadly, Trick Melo Gang and Bron. The promo stuff was good for Pretty Deadly and Trick Melo Gang, and we got a really good match in the main event. But naturally Bron & Melo win because neither of them was going to suffer lost momentum this close to Stand & Deliver. I’m still voting for Melo winning the title and Bron being called up. After all, there’s a WWE Snickers commercial with Bron Breakker and AJ Styles, that feels like a sign.
My Score: 8.8/10
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