Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (2/6/23)
Time to rage in the cage!
Will it end where it all began?
Damage CTRL denied us and Becky Lynch the cage match with Bayley before, but now that Raw is in Orlando, The Man VS The Role Model WILL happen! Will this all come full circle for both these Horsewomen?
- Elimination Chamber Match Qualifier: Damian Priest VS Angelo Dawkins; Priest wins and advances to the United States title Elimination Chamber match.
- Baron Corbin w/ JBL VS Dexter Lumis w/ Johnny Gargano; Lumis wins.
- Women’s Elimination Chamber Qualifier Fatal 4 Way: Mia Yim VS Candice LeRae VS Piper Niven VS Carmella; Carmella wins and advances to the Raw Women’s Championship Elimination Chamber match.
- Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin VS The Alpha Academy; Alexander & Benjamin win.
- Chelsea Green VS ???; Asuka wins.
- Elimination Chamber Match Qualifier: Elias VS Montez Ford; Ford wins and advances to the United States title Elimination Chamber match.
- Steel Cage: Bayley w/ Damage CTRL VS Becky Lynch; Becky wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Edge and Beth Phoenix are here!
Orlando goes nuts as the Rated R Superstar and the Glamazon make their way to the ring! Edge even takes some selfies with fans in the front row before he stands with Beth in the ring. The Grit Couple is of course here for revenge on the Judgment Day, a grudge that goes back to last year and Extreme Rules. They get the mic, and Edge says, “Oh, Orlando…! I gotta try and bring my heart rate down after watching that video, and just say it is so damn good to be back.” Orlando is happy to have them back, and Edge says he’s “The King of Comebacks as this point, it’s getting silly.” But we all know why they’re here this time: The Judgment Day.
Fans boo and Edge agrees. But the Judgment Day is his fault. The idea was to try and elevate talent he felt deserved it. And to be honest, it worked. All of them are at a better place now than they were a year ago. Finn Balor is on a level Edge has never seen before and that is saying something. Damian Priest has proven he’s a workhorse that come out week after week against the very best. Rhea Ripley, well… Fans do cheer Rhea, and Rhea went from number one to outlast everyone, and has punched her ticket to WrestleMania. Edge makes sure everyone sees him point at the sign. Oh, and Dom’s there, too.
“For the last year, we have battled back and forth. From Cardiff to Portland to Toronto, all leading up to Extreme Rules. And I knew that Finn Balor didn’t have what it takes to physically hurt me enough to make me say, ‘I Quit.’ But as you saw in the video, the minute I saw Rhea Ripley bash Beth in the back of the head with brass knuckles and hold that chair in her hand, I knew exactly what was going to happen and I was helpless to stop it. And I am the kind of man, and I know a lot of you can relate out there, I am the kind of man that is not used to feeling helpless.” Fans cheer, and Edge “congratulates” Judgment Day with a sarcastic clap.
Fans chant “You Still Got It!” and Edge says, “I never lost it.” Fans cheer that! Edge continues to say, “But here’s the thing, guys. You just made a bad problem even worse. Because I am a cruel, vindictive, sick bastard, who will sink to any level to get my pound of flesh!” Beth calms Edge and says she’ll cut to the chase. “If you’ve got the stones, Ripley, Balor, my husband and I are here to finish this.” But speaking of, here comes the Judgment Day! Finn, Priest and Dom have the mics but Rhea isn’t here. Finn asks if he’s the only one who notices a pattern. Edge makes his triumphant return, only for the Judgment Day to beat him down again and again and again!
Finn tells Edge, “It might be time for you to say ‘I quit.’ HAHAHA!” Dom says word on the street travels fast. Fans boo Dom but Finn tells them to let Dom talk. Dom says since Edge & Beth have been gone, he has served hard time! Fans continue to boo, Finn again says to let Dom talk! Dom tells Edge & Beth to run along, before he does something to them he learned “on the inside.” Just like he did to his deadbeat dad! Rey didn’t even make it into the Rumble match! Priest says Dom’s right. Fans chant “You Suck!” but Priest says it doesn’t matter. Edge and Rey are “something else.” Every time they come back, Judgment Day beats them down, but they come back for more.
So next time they beat Edge down, Extreme Rules will look like child’s play. And speaking of child’s play, after Dawkins gets cooked and Priest enters the Money… Wait, no, Edge has him so flustered. Finn says it’s alright, Edge has Finn all mad, too. Priest promises Edge that he hates him that he can’t even speak right. Priest is getting inside the Elimination Chamber to be the United States Champion! Dom wishes Rhea was here, she could see what they’re about to do to Edge. But Rhea is busy promoting WrestleMania. Edge tells Dom to shut up! Fans cheer that! Edge says he was right, but they all confuse him! They don’t know what they really want!
Priest, the night he clotheslined Edge’s head off, he claimed he didn’t want a leader. And yet, he’s following Finn around like a giant labradoodle. He’s better than that! As for Finn, he’s a Dollar Store Jamiroquai! It’s insanity. Google Jamiroquai, kids. But the difference between Judgment Day and The Grit Couple is that Edge and Beth have each other’s backs. But they all just drop each other quicker than “Ex Con Dom” did his drawers in the clink! “Which is fitting, considering how many times you screwed your dad over.” And by the way, Edge can’t wait until Rey snaps and 619s Dom’s teeth down his stupid throat! It’s coming!
Beth says Rhea’s not here cuz she’s doing promotional appearances? We all know it’s because Beth speared Rhea’s soul out of her body. But listen to her very closely: she didn’t come here to talk. She came to beat Rhea’s ass!! But if she’s not here tonight, how about this? The Rated R Superstar, Edge and the Glamazon, Beth Phoenix VS Finn Balor & Rhea Ripley at Elimination Chamber! Oh, oh, really? Does Dom think Rhea’s in? Dom says Mami is totally in. Finn is in, so they accept! That is, if Edge & Beth make it to Elimination Chamber. The Judgment Day surrounds the ring, Edge & Beth stand their ground, and the fight is on!
Beth runs off Dom, Priest & Finn go after Edge, but here comes ANGELO DAWKINS! Dawkins BLASTS Dom, then fires off on Priest! Dawkins clotheslines Dawkins out, Edge SPEARS Finn down! Dom is freaking out, and Ford creeps up behind him. Ford spooks Dom, puts him in the ring, and Dom wants mercy! He gets chicken wings and a GLAM SLAM instead! Orlando is all fired up, but will the Curse of Greatness be able to take down Damian? Or will Punishment be heading for Montreal?
Elimination Chamber Match Qualifier: Damian Priest VS Angelo Dawkins!
Raw returns as Priest stomps away on Dawkins, this match already underway. But it is also truly 1v1 as Adam Pearce made sure during the break to say no one else is allowed ringside! Priest stands Dawkins up to ROCK him with a right, then whips him to ropes. Dawkins handsprings over and DROPKCIKS Priest! Dawkins fireman’s carries for a FLAPJACK! Priest bails out, Dawkins builds speed, but Priest moves. Dawkins stops, slides out the side, and runs in to POUNCE Priest onto the announce desk!! Fans are thunderous as Priest flops to the floor! Dawkins puts Priest in the ring, sees him go to the corner, and runs in to CYCLONE- FOREARM!
Priest snarls as he stomps away on Dawkins again. Priest drags Dawkins up, rams him into a corner and fires off hands! Priest whips corner to corner, runs in and back elbows! Priest brings Dawkins up for a BROKEN ARROW! Cover, TWO! Priest snarls, he sits Dawkins up and pulls on the arms for a motorcycle stretch. Dawkins endures, Orlando rallies up, and Dawkins fights but Priest CLUBS him down! Cover, TWO! Priest clamps on with a chinlock now, and he bends Dawkins against his knee. Dawkins endures, fans rally up, and Dawkins fights up. Priest swings, Dawkins blocks to ROCK back! And again! And again! Anda gain!
Priest shoves, Dawkins bobs ‘n’ weaves then ROCKS Priest again! Dawkins dodges Priest’s boot to ENZIGURI! Priest runs in again but Dawkins dumps him out! Fans fire up as Dawkins goes out and runs in again, but into a LARIAT! Priest glares at Dawkins as he storms up on him. Priest drags Dawkins up, BIG suplex to the floor! Priest slides in the ring but just to refresh the count. Priest runs in around the way, leaps off the steps and FLYING KCIKS Dawkins down! Fans boo but Priest is in control as Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and both men are down after a collision. Fans rally up, Dawkins and Priest go to opposite ends, and Dawkins runs in to rally with clotheslines! Priest hits low, whips, but Dawkins hurdles and FLYING UPPERCUTS! Fans fire up with Dawkins, he runs corner to corner to CYCLONE! And ENZIGURI! And facelock, but Priest wrenches out, Dawkins ducks the lariat, to clinch and EXPLODER! Cover, TWO! Dawkins grows a little frustrated but fans rally up. Dawkins brings Priest up, ROCKS him with a right, then climbs a corner. Priest choke grips first! Priest then climbs up to join Dawkins, but Dawkins HOTSHOTS him back!
Dawkins hurries in, but into a SUPERKICK! Clinch and COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, TWO! Dawkins survives and Priest is growing frustrated now. Priest holds up his hand and fans boo. Dawkins rises, Priest clamps on, SOUTH OF- NO, Dawkins pops free for the SILENCER! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins hurries to a corner and climbs back up! SWANTON BOMB!! Cover, TWO!!! Priest survives and Dawkins is beside himself! But Orlando fires up as he drags Priest back up. Priest clamps onto a leg, Dawkins throws hands! Dawkins brings Priest up again, but Priest ROCKS him with a forearm! Priest staggers, into a RIGHT from Dawkins!
Priest goes to a corner, Dawkins runs in, but into a SPINNING ROUNDHOUSE! Choke grip, SOUTH OF HEAVEN!! Cover, Priest wins!!
Winner: Damian Priest, by pinfall (advances to the United States Championship Elimination Chamber match)
The Punisher pulverizes Dawkins, and now he’s taking aim at the US Championship! Will Priest hit his mark and take that title back?
The United States Champion pulls into the arena.
Austin Theory drives a black Lamborghini, showing that The Now rides in style. Will he have anything to say about the Elimination Chamber field as it fills out tonight?
Adam Pearce meets with Maximum Males Models.
Maxxine Dupri finishes signing the contract, she, Maçé & Mansöôr are now officially part of Monday Night Raw. Pearce is happy to have them here, and is sure they have big WrestleMania plans. Maxxine confirms, she has big, BIG plans. But then Chelsea Green walks in and asks, “Are you the manager?” Chelsea, you know Pearce is the manager, they spoke last week. Pearce has MMM excuse themselves, and Chelsea says that, as they spoke last week, she is supposed to have a private room, with Swiss chocolates and fresh spring water. He took care of that. Oh, well, that was Belgian chocolate. She’s been to Belgium, she knows the difference.
Anyway, while she has him, she wants to talk about how she’s NOT in the Elimination Chamber match. But Liv is, Raquel is, Nikki is, all of who she could be. With all due respect, Chelsea, you didn’t even last five seconds in the Women’s Rumble, so- Uh, sorry, does she need to call his manager? All she wants is an opportunity. her family is in attendance, so she deserves a match. And in that match, she deserves to be presented as the big star she is. So he either makes this right, or… One call could cost him his job. Okay, thanks, bye. Chelsea heads out, but will Pearce bend to her demands?
Baron Corbin w/ JBL VS Dexter Lumis w/ Johnny Gargano!
The Modern Day Wrestling God didn’t last all that long in the Men’s Rumble, and he didn’t get a win over Johnny Wrestling last week. The Rumble was because of Lesnar, that match with Gargano was because of Lumis. Can Corbin even the score with the Tortured Artist? Or will JBL start to question his investment into Baron?
Raw returns and Lumis makes his entrance. Corbin attacks Lumis as soon as he’s in the ring! The ref reprimands and fans boo, but Corbin lets off. The bell rings and Corbin hits a SPLASH in the corner! Corbin throws Lumis down, elbows him down, then clamps on a chinlock. Corbin grinds Lumis down but fans chant, “Corbin Sucks!” Lumis endures, fights up and fights free of the hold. Lumis then headlocks, but Corbin powers out. Corbin CLOBBERS Lumis, then rains down more elbows! Corbin clamps the chinlock on again, and insults the fans. JBL coaches Corbin, Lumis still endures and fights his way back up.
Corbin knees low, he puts Lumis in a corner and fires off forearms. Corbin whips corner to corner hard and Lumis bounces off buckles! Cover, TWO! Corbin says Lumis is nothing and Gargano isn’t anything, either. Gargano says he still got a win off Corbin. Corbin grinds forearms into Lumis’ face, then twists Lumis’ head in a neck wrench. Fans rally and Lumis fights up again. Lumis throws hands, dodges Corbin’s, then DECKS him! And DECKS him again! Pop-up UPPERCUT! Lumis runs to clothesline in the corner, then BULLDOG! Fans fire up as Lumis catches Corbin for a BIG back suplex! Kip up to LEG DROP!
Fans fire up as Corbin flounders up. Lumis clinches, but Corbin RAMS him into a corner. Corbin fires off elbows, then runs in, but only gets buckles! Lumis clinches for the SIDE EFFECT! Cover, Lumis wins!
Winner: Dexter Lumis, by pinfall
JBL is speechless as Gargano stands with Lumis. Gargano is headed to the Elimination Chamber for the US title, but will Lumis find himself in title talks soon enough?
Backstage interview with Becky Lynch.
Byron Saxton says The Man finally has Bayley inside that Steel Cage. What does tonight mean to her? “Orlando, Florida! Orlando, where it all began. Ten years ago, when I got off the plane with my bags to chase this WWE dream. When I first met you, Byron Saxton. A lot has happened in Orlando in those ten years, but ten years ago, I first met Bayley. In the weight room in the NXT Performance Center. And she seemed sweet and she seemed kind, and she wanted to be great. And her way of being great was high-fiving people and hugging people, and attaching herself to whoever she thought would be her meal ticket to the top.
“But I, too, Byron, I wanted to be great. And my way of being great was smashing faces, kicking down doors and changing the game so that I could become The Man of this industry! And Bayley… Bayley didn’t like that. No, she didn’t like that. So she’s attacked me and hit me with chairs and separated my shoulder. And she brought my family into this. And Bayley, I’m gonna learn you to not talk about my family. But all that aside, I had a plan. And tonight, I got what I want, and that is a Steel Cage Match.
“And so Bayley, you can bring your little friends, and you can bring your little tricks. Well, there is one hand that I haven’t played yet, and I’m thinking… I’m thinking, Byron, tonight might be the night.” What does Big Time Becks have planned for the Role Model in tonight’s main event?
Brock Lesnar is here!
Orlando goes nuts again as The Beast walks out to the ring and tips his cowboy hat with a feather in it. Lesnar gets the mic to say, “I appreciate ya. Thank you very much. Good evening, Orlando. Did y’all by chance catch the Royal Rumble? I did, too. I thought it sucked. At least, I had a sucky experience. At the Royal Rumble, Brock Lesnar got his ass thrown out over the top rope. That’s not the worst of it. I got my ass thrown over the top rope, by Bobby Who? Bobby Lashley! Now I apologize. I wasn’t on Raw last week, I had to get my head together a little bit. Bobby, you finally struck a chord in Brock Lesnar.”
All last week, Lesnar could not get Lashley out of his head. Lesnar tried to go hunting, and all he could think about was Bobby Who? Bobby Lashley! Next day, Lesnar wakes up, wants to go ice fishing. He likes coastal fishing, too, but he tries to go, but all he can think of is Bobby Who? Bobby Lashley! He sits down for a big ol’ steak dinner, and all he can think about is Bobby Lashley! He gets into bed at night with his wife, and… Well, four or five hours later, all Lesnar could think about is Bobby Lashley! So for a whole week, Lesnar thought about what he’s gonna do with Lashley. Lesnar has a resolution. A violent resolution, but still.
You see, within Lesnar’s “five dollar denim jacket, is a multi-million dollar contract.” Fans like the sound of that. Lesnar reads the contract: “Bobby Lashley VS Brock Lesnar at Elimination Chamber.” Now Lashley, if you’ve got balls, you’ll get down here and sign the contract! Well here comes Lashley! Lashley is in shades and a nice suit as he heads down the ramp and to the ring. Lashley gets himself a mic, and he says, “Well nice of you to grace us with your presence, Brock. I didn’t even know you were gonna be here. But since you are, let’s take a little walk down memory lane.”
Match number one, what happened? Lashley pinned Lesnar. Match number two, Lesnar won. But if memory serves, Lashley laid Lesnar out cold as he walked out of the ring. And the third meeting was at the Royal Rumble, and Lashley threw Lesnar out without a problem. Lesnar steps closer and hands Lashley the contract. Lashley takes it, and again says that if memory serves, Lashley will be done under his terms. Lashley is going to take Lesnar’s contract and let his agent look at it, and his manager, and his lawyer, then Lashley will get back to Lesnar. This will be under consideration.
Oh, is Lesnar surprised? Surprised that Bobby Who has one up on you? Lashley emphasizes that with a poke of the finger. Lesnar smirks, and he reels Lashley in! F5!! Lesnar puts the contract in Lashley’s pocket, but fans chant “ONE MORE TIME!” Lesnar figures why not! Fireman’s carry, F5!! The Beast puts his hat back on, takes his leave, and the ball is now in the All Mighty’s court. Will this all but guarantee Lashley will want that match with Lesnar in Montreal?
Johnny Gargano finds Candice LeRae backstage.
Mr. Wrestling says hello to Mrs. Wrestling, tonight is big, right? How is she feeling? Luck hasn’t been on her side but she feels good. Lumis has a picture for good luck. Wow, the whole family! Gargano, Candice, little Quill and their dog, Pawdme, and… Who is that in the back? Nikki Cross? Cuz she’s SPYING on them! Nikki laughs and runs off! Candice isn’t sure what to make of that, but will she worry more about it once she’s in the chamber with crazy Cross?
Women’s Elimination Chamber Qualifier Fatal 4 Way: Mia Yim VS Candice LeRae VS Piper Niven VS Carmella!
Raquel Gonzalez, Liv Morgan, Nikki Cross, Asuka and Natalya are waiting, and there’s just one spot left in the Raw Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s match! Will it be Michin, Mrs. Wrestling, the Scottish Viper, or the FABULOUS Princess of Staten Island going all the way to Montreal for that golden opportunity?
Raw returns, Candice is already in the ring as Mia makes her entrance. Then, last but not least, Piper Niven! She’s dropped the nickname, will she make a name for herself on the Road to WrestleMania? The bell rings and Piper CLOBBERS Mia and Candice! Piper and Mella stare down, Mella talking trash even though this is her return match. Piper scares Mella with a growl and Mella bails out to hang by hubby Corey Graves. Piper whips Candice into Mia at a corner, then runs in to SANDWICH them! Candice and Mia both fall, and Piper grins. Mella hops on for a SLEEPER! Piper throws her right off!
Mella bails out again, but Mia and Candice fire off on Piper! Piper shoves them away, runs, but into a double drop toehold! She ends up on ropes, DOUBLE DROPKICKS send her out! Fans fire up with Mia and Candice, but then the two friends circle. They fist bump, and then Mia rushes in. Candice avoids the clothesline but Mia jumps over the leg sweep. Candice deflects a boot to waistlock, but Mia switches. Candice elbows free, Mia blocks a kick, and Mia slips under to pick Candice up! BUCKLE BOMB! Mia hoists Candice up top, CHOPS her, then blocks another kick! Mia has Candice in an Electric Chair, but Candice POISON-RANAS!
Mella scurries in to cover Candice, TWO! Cover on Mia, TWO! Cover back on Candice, TWO! Another cover on Mia, TWO! Piper TRIPLE SPLASHES them all!! Cover on Mia, TWO!! Piper drags Mia up to throw her out, then she kicks Candice out. Piper covers Mella, TWO!! Piper drags Mella up, throws her right out, and Piper is all fired up! Orlando is fired up with her, and Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Piper has everyone in corners. Piper SPLASHES Mia, SPLASHES Candice, but Mella dodges! FABULOUS KICK! Piper rebounds to CLOBBER Mella! Candice CROSSBODIES, but Piper catches her! Mia runs in to hit a NECKBREAKER that takes Piper down! All four women are down but Piper bails out of the ring! Orlando fires up while the others stir. Mella shouts, “This is MY match!” But Mia says no it ain’t! Mella throws a forearm, but Mia ROCKS Mella! Mella throws another, but Mia fires off a flurry! Mia BOOTS, then wrenches to hit EAT DA FEET!! Cover, Piper drags Mella away!
Fans are torn but Mia is shocked! Piper storms in, Mia throws body shots and haymakers! Piper ducks a roundhouse to HEADBUTT! Mia wobbles, Piper reels her in but Candice is up top! MISSILE DROPKICK! Piper is down, Candice LIONSAULTS! cover, Mia breaks it! Friends or not, this is every woman for herself! Mia says sorry, but then Piper shoves Mia into Candice! Candice falls, but Mia runs, but into a SCRAPBUSTER! Cover, Candice breaks it! Piper pulls at her hair and bites her fingers in frustration, but she has Candice to herself now. Candice fires off haymakers, but Piper shoves her down. SENTON FLOPS as Candice moves!
Candice STEP-UP SENTONS! But Mella rolls Candice up! TWO!! Candice escapes, DEKCS Mella, and Mella goes to a corner. Candice runs in but is sent into buckles! Mella shouts at Candice and stomps a fabulous mudhole in! Fans boo as Mella moonwalks and says, “Mella! Is! Money!” FABULOUS BRONCO BUSTER! But Piper runs in! Mella dodges, CANNONBALL for Candice! FABULOUS KICK for Piper! Mella stacks Candice, and WINS!
Winner: Carmella, by pinfall (advances to the Raw Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s match)
The Princess of Staten Island took advantage, and she is heading to Montreal! But will she be the one heading to WrestleMania with that golden ticket?
Baron Corbin regroups with JBL backstage.
Corbin laughs it off. “That didn’t go as planned, did it?” But where are they going to eat? Maybe get some drinks or something? JBL asks, “We? There ain’t no ‘we’. I headlined WrestleMania, I sold out arenas all over the world, I was must-watch television. You are channel changing television. That sound you hear when you get the ring, that’s the sound of remote controls around the world changing the channel to watch anything but you. And I don’t give a damn about you. I give a damn about the fact that MY Hall of Fame legacy, my CHAMPIONSHIP career, has lost all credibility, because of YOU!”
Corbin frowns but JBL continues. “Modern Day Wrestling God? I’ll tell you what you need. Not some cute little shirt, but a red nose and floppy shoes. Because you are a clown. You do not belong near me.” Corbin asks where this is coming from. He can do better! He’ll do better! JBL says, “You can’t polish a turd. I tried.” JBL storms off, did Corbin blow another major opportunity?
Meanwhile, we can see in the background that MVP is talking with Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin. They shake hands, having a much better talk than JBL and Corbin just did. As the Wrestling God partnership falls apart, are we seeing the return of the Hurt Business?
Piper Niven finds Candice LeRae backstage!
Piper blames Candice for that loss! Piper should be going to WrestleMania! Mia storms in and makes Piper back off. Piper says they’re both very luck. If either of them get in the way of her and the title again, she will not be forgiving. Mia and Candice stick together, but will they both have to worry about the angry Scottish Viper slithering around?
Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin VS The Alpha Academy!
Speaking of, PRIME Alexander and the Gold Standard are going up against “Master” Chad Gable and his number one guy, Otis! It’s a battle of former Raw Tag Team Champions, will one of these teams make a big impression on the Road to WrestleMania?
Raw returns and MVP is with Cedric & Shelton in their entrance! The teams sort out and Gable circles with Cedric. They tie up, Gable waistlocks and SLAMS Cedric, but Cedric gets up, only for Gable to snapmare. Gable rolls with Cedric, has a waistlock again, but Cedric pries free, only for Gable to headlock for the takeover. Cedric headscissors, Gable kips free, but Cedric arm-drags Gable. Gable arm-drags back, then blocks Cedric’s arm-drag to say, “SHOOSH!” Gable stands Cedric up but Cedric mule kicks back. Cedric runs, handsprings, but into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Cedric flounders and Gable shouts, “A THANK YEW~!”
Gable tags Otis, the fans fire up and Otis struts. Gable cravats Cedric, Otis runs and CLOBBERS Cedric! Fans fire up but MVP protests. Cedric tags Shelton and he fires forearms on Otis! Shelton whips but Otis blocks! Otis whips, Shelton LARIATS, but Otis stays up! Shelton runs but Otis scoops! Shelton slips free to ROUNDHOUSE! Otis staggers, Shelton runs in to STEP- UP- NO!! Otis carries Shelton out for a WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM! Fans fire up with the tree trunk and he runs, to SPLASH! Fans rally while Shelton sputters, but Otis CLUBS him on the back. Otis whips Shelton corner to corner hard and Shelton falls to the mat!
Fans rally behind Otis and he brings Shelton up. Shelton kicks but Otis blocks, and Otis spins Shelton around, only for the DRAGON WHIP to hit! Otis staggers around, Shelton runs in but into another SLAM! Otis drags Shelton up, puts him in a corner, and then runs in, only to get buckles! MVP coaches Shelton and he crawls, but so does Otis! Hot tags to Gable and Cedric! Cedric rallies on Gable, runs in to forearm smash int he corner, then snapmare and BASEMENT DROPKICK! MVP is fired up with Cedric and Cedric whips. Gable reverses, Cedric goes up and over. Things keep moving, NEURALIZER!
Gable flops out of the ring, Cedric builds speed! Cedric DIVES, but into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Gable puts Cedric in while MVP shouts to shake it off! Gable is up top, for the DIVING HEADBUTT! Cover, Shelton breaks it! Otis CLUBS Shelton, throws him to a corner, and then runs in, only to get more buckles! STEP-UP KNEE! And then another STEP-UP KNEE! And a SAMOAN DROP!?! Fans are thunderous after that, but Gable KNEES Shelton out! Cedric is up, Gable CLOBBERS him! Gable goes up top, to MOONSAULT! Cedric avoids it, back suplex, LUMBAR CHECK!! Cover, Cedric & Shelton win!
Winners: Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin, by pinfall
MVP is all fired up! He celebrates with his guys, is this the revival of the Hurt Business?
Backstage interview with The Miz.
Cathy Kelley knows The A-Lister was caught off guard last week by Rick Boogs, but what is his reaction to that return? His reaction? Miz will gladly give it to Pearce, along with a bill for the damages to his $10,000 suit that Maryse bought Miz! Who makes someone compete in a suit?! And as far as “Boogs” goes, what? He’s supposed to be impressed that Boogs can bench press 500 pounds and play the electric guitar? But speaking of, here comes Boogs! Uh, how did he get a meeting before The Miz? Oh, of course, he’s special, right? Wow, Boogs is special? Thanks, Miz.
But Boogs is just excited to be reunited with the Boogs Crew in the WWE Universe. The Boogs Crew? Oh, cut the humble crap. Miz would’ve won easily, if he was dressed and ready. Boogs got luck and he knows it, but he’s also lucky that Pearce is a lazy and incompetent official. Because if it was different and Miz was ready, it would’ve been a different story! Pearce walks up behind Miz and says, “Tell me how you really feel.” Miz sighs and smiles at Pearce. Pearce says that if Miz wants a rematch with Boogs, all he had to do was ask. In fact, how about next week? Boogs says that is righteous! THICK RICK VS The Miz, he’s so excited! Rick “Boogs out” on his exercise bar!
Miz looks at Pearce, then frowns as he walks away. But then Chelsea walks back in. She’s about to go to the ring, so she wants him to find an opponent, or she will call his boss. Okay thanks, bye~! The Hot Mess heads out, but who will Pearce send out to face her?
Chelsea Green VS ???
“Shh… It’s Chelsea.” Orlando has mixed feelings as The Hot Mess struts her way to the ring in her first singles match since coming back to the WWE. She’s already got an ego over the fact that she is back, but is she going to be ready for her opponent tonight? Because her opponent is ASUKA!!
Wait, is that Raquel Rodriguez in the crowd? Big Mami Cool snuck in from SmackDown to watch Raw in person, and she’s distracting Asuka! The bell rings and Chelsea SHOTGUNS Asuka down! Chelsea CLUBS away on Asuka, but now we see Natalya sneaking in from the other side! And Liv Morgan! Chelsea dribbles Asuka off the mat, brings her up, and shushes her, before she SLAPS her! Mella struts her way back out, since all the Chamber entrants are here. Chelsea BOOTS Asuka into buckles! Chelsea drags Asuka up, clinches, picks her up, COMPLETE SHOT! Chelsea sees everyone else and asks if they all watched that.
Chelsea says SHE should be in the Chamber, not “whatever this is,” in reference to Mella. Chelsea goes back to Asuka, kicks dirt, and also talks trash on Natty. Wait, Nikki sneaks out here now? Nikki laughs at Chelsea. Chelsea says if Nikki wants crazy, she’ll give her crazy! Chelsea also talks trash on Liv and Raquel. But Asuka gest back up! Chelsea senses something is wrong, and Asuka eggs her on in Japanese! Chelsea swings, misses, and Asuka fires off a strike fest! URAKEN! URAKEN! SOBAT! FRONT KICK! URAKEN and HEEL KICK! GERMAN SUPLEX! BUZZSAW! Chelsea wants a time-out!
Chelsea gets to a corner, Asuka runs in, but Chelsea BOOTS her! Chelsea runs in, into a CODE BREAKER, which Asuka then turns into a DOUBLE ARMBAR!!! Chelsea verbally quits, Asuka wins!
Winner: Asuka, by submission
The Empress of Tomorrow stands tall tonight, and she makes sure to look her future opponents in the eye. But then BIANCA BELAIR appears! The RawEST Women’s Champion is here, and she tells them all, “I want all of y’all to take a good look at each other and tell me what you see. Cuz I’ll tell you what I see. I see six top tier women in the WWE.” Fans cheer that. “But… Who has what it takes to win the Elimination Chamber match? Who has what it takes to go one on one with the EST of WWE? Because last year, I was in your position. I know what it’s like to be in an Elimination Chamber match, and I know what it takes to win. That’s how I got this.”
Bianca holds up the title, and says, “I want to wish each and every one of you good luck. Because whoever makes it out… I’ll be ready to see you at WrestleMania.” The EST has sent her message to all her potential contenders, but just who will survive the Chamber to meet Bianca in Hollywood?
Cody Rhodes is here!
Orlando goes nuts again as the American Nightmare makes his way to the ring. Fans chant Cody’s name as he gets the mic. “So, what do you guys wanna talk about? Hmm… Last week, I used my interview time to come out here and talk to you with respect about my current WrestleMania opponent, The Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the biggest superstar in the world, the Best in the World, Roman Reigns.” Fans boo Roman, then chant for “SAMI! SAMI!” So they just read Cody’s mind. Cody did say “current.” Cody’s path to WrestleMania is straight and clear, but the destination is foggy.
The reason being, Roman is putting the titles on the line at Elimination Chamber, “against a guy who has kicked up all the dust, a guy who has all the momentum, a guy that’s walking into his hometown, and that is Sami Zayn.” Fans cheer and chant for Sami and Cody continues. “You guys seem like a perfect judge for my next question. It looks more and more like at WrestleMania, it’s going to be me standing there, challenging for the championship against Sami Zayn.” Fans like the sound of that! Cody says this with the utmost respect. “I have respect for anyone avenging an injustice done to them. I have respect for my friend, Sami Zayn. I wish you the best of luck, may the best man win.”
But wait! “Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman. And I serve as Special Counsel, and The Wise Man, to YOUR Tribal Chief, the reigning! Defending! Undisputed! WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion, Roman…! Reigns!” Fans boo as Heyman continues into the ring. Fans chant “E C DUB!” and Heyman steps into the ring. Heyman tells Cody that something he may one day find out in life, “hopefully not at my expense, but one day, is that life at the very top in this industry requires an understanding that the only week busier than the week leading into a major event like the Royal Rumble, or watch the point, WrestleMania…
“Is the week coming out of a major event, like the Royal Rumble or WrestleMania. And I’m sure you know that the Tribal Chief and I have had a lot on our plates in the last week. And a few things fell through the cracks, admittedly, on the Island of Relevancy. One of which is the Tribal Chief and I, in front of the entire world, want to congratulate you on winning the 2023 WWE Men’s Royal Rumble match.” Cody and Heyman shake hands and Heyman says Cody earned it and that he’s very proud of Cody. Fans cheer that, and chant, “You Deserve It!”
Cody knows that his father had a nickname for Heyman, his brother had a nickname for Heyman. But if you’ll indulge Cody, Cody will go with “Mr. Heyman.” It is because Cody has “unparalleled respect” for Heyman and Heyman knows why. But if they’re going to pull back the curtain here, might as well pull it back for everyone here in the crowd and watching at home. This is a story that should’ve been told a long time ago. The year was 2000. The till in Cody’s family dried up a bit, and Hard Times was more than a famous promo. “Simply put, my family went broke.” $100 in a checking account for all of them.
To put a visual on it, Cody’s dad was doing local car commercials and not for money. Just so he could keep a car. Fans chant for Dusty now and Heyman gets emotional. “But then he got a phone call,” Cody continues. Heyman called Dusty. Heyman told Dusty that ECW as in town, that Steve Corino was gonna talk some smack, and that if Dusty would just agree to appear on camera, that if Dusty would be on ECW TV, Heyman “would pay him and pay him well.” Fans again chant for “E C DUB!” Cody says Heyman kept his word. In addition to the money that the Rhodes family sorely needed, ECW gave Dusty his confidence back, and Cody can never repay Heyman for that.
Flash forward a bit, and they might talk about it, but before coming back here, Cody was somewhere else, “causing a little bit of trouble.” From one disruptor in sports entertainment to another, Heyman showed Cody the way, so thank you again. Fans applaud that, and Heyman again gets emotional. Fans chant, “Thank You, Paul! Thank You, Paul!” Heyman says Cody is good. Cody really got Heyman there. Heyman was here to schmooze business with him, and Cody got him personally. Heyman sighs, fans cheer, and if we’re peeling back and shooting from the hip, let’s go all the way.
Heyman says this isn’t about him, and with all due respect and love and admiration and even acknowledgement, this isn’t about Dusty. This is about Cody, about everything Cody has fought for from the bottom to the top, out the door, back in, to winning the Rumble to main-eventing WrestleMania! “And winning WrestleMania is a whole different story. Just getting there is a long, long road.” And that’s Cody’s story. That’s Cody’s story that he needs to finish to find out if this is a dream come true, or if he must “suffer the nightmare of coming just this close.”
Because Cody isn’t just main-eventing WrestleMania, he’s trying to “take away from the greatest box office attraction and greatest champion of all time, Roman… Reigns.” Fans boo but Heyman says that’s no easy task for any mere mortal, let alone someone that has no idea what it’s like under that spotlight. Will Cody crumble and wither? Will he self-destruct under that pressure because no one ever prepared him for it? Heyman says down the road is the WWE Performance Center. At that very place, Cody’s father, the American Dream, Dusty Rhodes, trained and prepped the biggest stars of this generation.
Cody’s father, Dusty, trained and prepped Seth Rollins, trained and prepped Becky Lynch, trained and prepped Bayley, trained and prepped Kevin Owens, trained and prepped for the highest level of success, the Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. But do you know who Dusty didn’t train and prep? Dusty did not train nor prepare Cody. Cody tries to smile through that but Heyman says he could counsel Cody that maybe, just maybe, Dusty wanted Cody to make it on his own. That’s how much love Dusty had for him. That Dusty wanted Cody to step out of the shadow of a national monument such as the American Dream himself.
Perhaps Dusty didn’t want Cody going through life as “Dusty’s son,” but as Cody Rhodes, “WrestleMania Main Eventer Who Stopped the Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns.” Maybe. But Cody, Heyman can’t convey in words how much he loved Dusty. But he can say to Cody’s face that Dusty loved Cody. To share this personally, in Heyman’s last conversation with Dusty, Dusty told Heyman… “You, Cody, were his favorite son.” Cody and the fans aren’t sure what to make of that, but then Heyman adds, “But Roman Reigns was the son he always wanted.” Heyman drops the mic and fans cannot believe he just said that!
Cody rushes up on Heyman but Heyman backs away. Fans want Cody to go after Heyman but Heyman wants him to reconsider. Cody offers a handshake, then makes Heyman take it. “I’m just trying to win a wrestling championship, and everybody, everybody, wants to make it personal. And that’s what you just did, and you’re not gonna pay for it, Mr. Heyman. Your boy, Roman Reigns, is going to pay for it. At WrestleMania, when I take those titles, personally.” Cody pushes the mic into Heyman then heads out. Will Cody ironically be hoping Roman beats Sami Zayn at Elimination Chamber so he can be the one to tear the Tribal Chief down?
Elimination Chamber Match Qualifier: Elias VS Montez Ford!
There is just ONE spot left in the United States Championship match, and it comes down to The Drifter and the flyest high flyer WWE has seen in a long time! Will all of Montreal #WalkWithElias? Or will this Profit be up, looking for gold?
Raw returns and Elias makes his entrance while Austin Theory is on commentary. The bell rings and Elias circles with Ford. They tie up, and they are in a deadlock. They go around, Ford puts Elias in a corner but Elias turns it around. The ref counts, both men let off, and they reset. Ford and Elias tie up again, Elias headlocks and he grinds Ford down. Ford powers up but Elias holds tight. Ford tries again, but Elias still holds tight. Theory isn’t concerned about Elias’ level of aggression, because the person with aggression is him. Ford powers up and out, but Elias runs him over! Cover, TWO!
Elias stands Ford up but Ford rolls Elias up, TWO! Ford cradles, TWO! Elias headlocks again and he hits a takeover. Ford keeps his shoulder up, moves around, and fans rally. Theory likes Ford’s athleticism, and the move on his regimen, but he’s intrigued to face Elias since they’ve never met in a match. Ford fights up, powers out, and things speed up. Ford hurdles then runs Elias over! Ford DROPKICKS Elisa, and then Ford snarls as he whips. Elias reverses but Ford KICKS back! Ford runs in, but into a FLAPJACK HOTSHOT! Ford sputters to a corner and Elias storms up to CHOP, UPPERCUT and repeat!
Elias fires off, the ref counts, and Elias lets off. Elias then stomps Ford again, CHOPS him, and whips to back drop Ford! Ford bails out, Elias pursues, and Elias RAMS Ford into barriers! Elias then brings Ford up to STEEL STEPS BACK SUPLEX! Elias roars and fans are torn as Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Elias has Ford in a motorcycle stretch. Ford endures, turns, but Elias drags him up into a waistlock. BACKBREAKER! Elias then goes to a corner and climbs up top, but Ford hops up after him! Ford fires haymakers, Elias throws body shots, and Elias CLUBS Ford down. Elias SUNSET FLIPS, but Ford holds onto the ropes! Fans fire up as Ford fights his way back up, and he ROCKS Elias with a right! Elias turns things into an Electric Chair Lift! SPINNING POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Theory says he thought that would end it, though he sounds a bit sarcastic.
Ford crawls to the apron and Elias storms over. Ford GAMANGIRIS Elias, ducks a haymaker, then bumps Elias off buckles to GAMANGIRI again! Ford goes back up, CROSSBODIES, and says “SUCK IT!” Ford rallies with clotheslines, then runs to LEAPING LARIAT! Elias staggers, Ford pumps up and hits a BIG back suplex! Kip up but Ford’s back tightens up. Ford powers through to STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Theory likes that Elias is still in this, but Ford brings Elias up. Elias CHOPS! ford ROCKS Elias with a right! Elias ROCKS Ford, but Ford ENZIGURIS! Ford runs, into the SYMPHO-KNEE!
Elias fireman’s carries for a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Cover, TWO! Ford survives and Elias grows frustrated. Theory doesn’t worry about the match, and goes on to talk trash on the other entrants. Theory thinks Johnny Gargano will be a stay-at-home dad, Bronson Reed probably can’t fit in a pod, but then gets mad at Kevin Patrick for bringing up the loss to Bronson back in their NXT days. Elias meanwhile RAMS Ford into a corner, RAMS him again, and again, and again! Elias backs off, runs in again, but Ford puts him on the apron! Elias shoulders in, slingshots, but into a HAYMAKER!
Elias flounders away, Ford goes corner to corner to FLY!! Direct hit and down goes Elias! Ford puts Elias in the ring and fans fire up! Ford goes up top, and leaps in FROM THE HEAVENS!! Cover, Ford wins!
Winner: Montez Ford, by pinfall (advances to the United States Championship Elimination Chamber match)
Ford takes the last spot, but Theory stands on the desk to hold up the title. Will Theory still have that title after the Elimination Chamber? Wait! SETH ROLLINS CLIPS THEROY! Theory hits the desk and Rollins laughs! Fans sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” before the CURB STOMP to the floor! The Now didn’t see The Visionary coming, will nothing and no one stop Rollins from winning in the Chamber?
Bayley talks with Damage CTRL backstage.
Dakota Kai is in crutches given what Becky Lynch did to her last week, but Bayley isn’t worry. She tells Kai & Sky the plan and prepares for the main event, which is up next!
Steel Cage: Bayley w/ Damage CTRL VS Becky Lynch!
The Role Model used Damage CTRL to take control away from The Man and deny us all this match on the Raw 30th Anniversary episode. But now, there’s no running from this, there’s no hiding from this, and there’s no getting around this! Will Bayley survive Becky’s Big Time wrath? Or will Becky leave Bayley behind just like when they were in NXT?
The bell rings, fans fire up, but Bayley smirks. Fans rally for Becky as she and Bayley circle. They feel things out, Bayley ROCKS Becky then climbs the wall! Becky yanks her down, she won’t let Bayley just run away like a coward. They talk trash, Bayley says Becky doesn’t tell her what to do or when to do it. Bayley shoves Becky, so Becky ROCKS Bayley! They go back and forth, Becky gets the edge, but Bayley kicks a leg out! Becky trips Bayley! Becky says she was going for the door, but that’s not how this is going down. Becky whips but Bayley turns it around, only for Becky to stop from hitting the steel.
Becky hits Bayley back, but Bayley also blocks hitting steel. Bayley elbows Becky away but Becky goes for an arm! Bayley and Becky go around, but Bayley throws Becky into the steel! Kai & Sky like what they see as Bayley sends Becky into more steel! Bayley stomps away on Becky, then digs her boots in! She also digs Becky into the frame of the cage! Fans boo but Bayley covers, ONE!! Becky is hanging tough, so Bayley decides to climb. Becky hurries over and dropkicks the cage to shake Bayley loose! Bayley falls to the mat, then Becky drags her up to RAM her into the steel! Becky drags Bayley up again to RAM her into more steel!
Becky runs to basement dropkick Bayley into the steel! And again! Becky stomps away on Bayley now, then pushes her face into the steel! “You think you can talk about my husband?! You think you can talk about my husband now, Bayley?!” Becky lets off, then drags Bayley up. Fans rally and Becky throws Bayley into more steel! Bayley drags herself out while Becky climbs the cage. Bayley hurries to anchor Becky, but Becky kicks her away. Bayley climbs up after Becky, but Becky kicks her again. Bayley anchors a foot, but Becky dribbles Bayley’s face off steel! Becky then adjusts, brings Bayley around, but Bayley RAMS Becky into steel!
Bayley dribbles Becky now, throws her off the ropes, then adjusts to MACHO ELBOW! Cover, TWO! Kai & Sky coach Bayley on as she has control, and Raw goes to break.
Raw returns just as Becky kicks out of a cover! And she wants the arm! Bayley hurries to push Becky away, but Becky hits a FLYING FOREARM! Both women are down and Orlando fires up! Kai & Sky coaches Bayley as she and Becky both stand. The forearms go back and forth again! Fans rally behind Becky as she gets the edge, uppercuts and SOBATS! Becky runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges, and JUMP KICKS Bayley down! Becky whips Bayley to a corner, but Bayley uses that to get up the wall! Becky grabs Bayley’s legs to SLAM them against the steel! And again! Bayley holds on with her hands but Becky RAMS her into the steel again and again! SUPER JUMP KICK!
Bayley ends up slumped on the ropes, for Becky’s SUPER GUILLOTINE LEG DROP!! Cover, TWO!! Fans rally and Becky fires up. Kai & Sky plead with Bayley as she gets up, but Becky clinches. Bayley slips out of the slam to SAIDO! Cover, TWO!! Becky is still in this and fans fire up again! Bayley drags herself to ropes, climbs the cage, but Becky rises! Becky drags Bayley back down, has her draped on the ropes and TOSSES her into the steel! Becky runs, to drop a leg, brother! But Bayley turns it into a HEEL HOOK!! Becky flails, reaches out, and crawls her way to the door! Becky grabs the frame but Bayley drags her away!
Bayley stands Becky up but Becky rolls to send Bayley into buckles! Roll-up, TWO!! Back to the HEEL HOOK! Becky still crawls, they roll to ropes, and Becky SMACKS Bayley off steel! And again! And again! Bayley is dazed but Becky hobbles back up. Becky climbs a corner but Bayley anchors her foot. Becky kicks her away, but Bayley tries again. Becky kicks Bayley again, but Bayley hurries up after her! They brawl, Becky shoves Bayley away! Becky is on the top rope but Bayley CLUBS her! Bayley clubs after and they braw on the top rope! Bayley RAMS Becky into the steel, SUPER BAYLEY2BELLY!! Cover, TWO!?!
Kai & Sky can’t believe it, and neither can Orlando! Bayley stalks Becky, but then decides to climb the wall! Bayley reaches the top! Becky hurries up after Bayley, catches up to Bayley, and they brawl up top now! Fans rally as the haymakers go back and forth! Bayley SMACKS Becky off the top! But Becky grabs an arm! Becky uses that to drag herself back up, DISARM-HER ON TOP OF THE CAGE!!! Bayley slips free, gets caught up on the ropes, and flops to the mat! But Becky just adjusts, only for Sky to climb up after her! The Evil Genius brawls with Becky, and then she kicks Becky down into the ring! Kai sneaks a crutch to Bayley!
Bayley JAMS Becky with the crutch! But wait, is that LITA?!? The living legend is here and she goes up after Sky! Lita YANKS Sky right off the cage! Lita storms up on Kai and uses her other crutch to YANK her into steel steps! Lita JAMS Sky, reels her in, TWIST OF FATE to the floor!! Bayley is flabbergasted, but she hurries for the door! Fans are losing their minds as Lita SLAMS the door shut! Bayley staggers into a MANHANDLE SLAM!!! Cover, Becky wins!!
Winner: Becky Lynch, by pinfall
Becky had Big Time back-up, was this the ace in the hole she talked about? Did Lita help Becky put behind her Damage CTRL once and for all?
A great Raw, and full to the brim at that. Great opening segment with Edge, Beth and Judgment Day. I am glad they’re giving us that Mixed Tag for Elimination Chamber, but I was hoping they would make it Edge & Beth VS Rhea & Dom. But at the same time, if Dom was involved, it’d be obvious Dom would take the loss just so The Grit Couple can win without really hurting Rhea’s momentum. With Finn in that match instead, it could go either way. Rhea could beat Beth to win it while we see Edge and Finn set up a 1v1 rematch for WrestleMania. That’s two birds, one stone, so perhaps WWE will go with that.
I also like that they used the brawl that broke out to bring in the Profits. Dom taking the Glam Slam was beloved by all, and of course we go right into Dawkins VS Priest. Priest winning makes sense, he really is the workhorse Edge said he is, Priest will have a great showing in the Elimination Chamber. Elias VS Ford was great stuff, even with Theory on commentary. Theory wasn’t bad, but what does he really add talking himself up? At the same time, it was great for Rollins to drive-by Theory to get himself some momentum while not in the ring. And as I’d hoped, Ford is in the Chamber now, so get ready for a From the Heavens off a pod.
Corbin VS Lumis being a comparative squash was a bit of a surprise, but it leading to JBL dumping Corbin was also quite surprising. At the same time, something had to give. The WWE never books Corbin strong forever, which is why Corbin has been through more changes to his character these last few years than anyone else. I’m not sure what’ll get Corbin to the next level, if WWE even cares to do that. I still think they skipped through the Bum Ass Corbin stuff too soon, but that’s on Vince. Maybe Corbin will start trying to earn JBL’s respect like he needs it as validation for who he is.
And because HHH’s team is really clever, they gave us another “Easter egg” in a promo, with MVP talking with Cedric & Shelton before their match. Their match against Alpha Academy was pretty good, though it seemed clunky at the start. Commentary touched on it, I think Shelton was just not quite ready for how big and strong Otis was gonna run in there. But Shelton & Cedric win because clearly, the Hurt Business is on its way back. Lesnar and Lashley had a good promo together, and I’m a little surprised we’re getting that match at the Chamber. Maybe there will be something crazy that happens, compelling a WrestleMania match. Plus, from Lashley’s promo, he’s counting their Rumble match confrontation as part of the record, so the Chamber match would be round 4, making Mania round 5 and a tiebreaker of sorts.
Good backstage promos with Adam Pearce. Miz putting his foot in his mouth and ending up in a rematch with Boogs was good stuff. Officially signing MMM to Raw was a nice detail to help give us a reason we’re even watching Pearce, which sets up Chelsea “Karen Joke Punchline” Green complaining to him and getting a match. And seeing as how Chelsea avoided bringing Asuka up, it was perfect that she had to fight Asuka. It was a logical surprise to have the other women in the Elimination Chamber match show up, though I feel like Chelsea could’ve been faster about talking trash. Asuka wins, of course, and Bianca had a great promo calling out all the contenders.
Speaking of, the Fatal 4 was great stuff, and I suppose Mella winning is a good choice. She’s returning, she’s got momentum just on that, but she’ll surely be used to build up Asuka in that match. Mella had that segment with Asuka last week, Asuka will definitely mist and eliminate Mella. Asuka is definitely a frontrunner to win the Chamber, and this return to Kana in presentation has to mean Asuka’s going to WrestleMania. Piper threatening Candice and Mia was good stuff. Piper might get a partner to take them on at some point, but we can get some great 1v1 matches out of Piper VS Candice and Piper VS Mia.
Cody’s promo segment with Heyman was so good. I just knew Heyman was setting up that insult on Cody about Dusty wanting someone like Roman as a son, and it was still powerful. And while Sami Zayn is great, it of course gave the idea that WrestleMania’s main event will stay Roman VS Cody. Then we got a great main event in the Steel Cage match. Granted, it was the usual Steel Cage formula: throw each other into steel; keep each other from climbing up and out multiple times; Heel still has minions interfere. But I did like that Lita showed up to help Becky in a callback to their Crown Jewel match. Lita helping Becky win was good stuff cuz it was DMG CTRL facing karma, and fans got to see the legendary Lita celebrate with the iconic Becky. Hell, maybe we get some kind of tag match now so Lita can return to WrestleMania.
My Score: 8.7/10
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Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (3/22/23)
Independence is Dynamite!
Dream matches, grudge matches, title matches, oh my!
The AEW World Tag Team Championships, Moxley VS Grayson, Hook VS Stokely under NO DISQUALIFICATIONS, and Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo, all on one night!
- Six Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin & Sting VS The Superbad Squad; Cassidy, Darby & Sting win.
- AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Gunns VS Top Flight; The Gunns win and retain the titles.
- No Disqualifications: Hook VS Stokely Hathaway; Hook wins.
- Jon Moxley w/ Wheeler Yuta & Claudio Castagnoli VS Stu Grayson w/ The Dark Order; Moxley wins.
- Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts VS Skye Blue; Storm wins.
- Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo; Omega wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
There’s a medical emergency backstage!
Hangman Page is on the phone with someone while Brandon Cutler gets in the ambulance. Cutler tells Hangman to make sure someone’s with Nick, meaning MATT Jackson is in the ambulance! The ambulance drives away, and now Nick is loaded into a second! The Young Bucks were attacked before cameras were rolling, Don Callis calms Kenny Omega down, and Hangman rides with Nick. Omega has his main event match with AAA rival El Hijo del Vikingo, but who went after his best friends?
Six Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Darby Allin & Sting VS The Superbad Squad!
Freshly Squeezed is still a champion, as he retained the now AEW International Championship in Canada. But now, a familiar foe is rearing his Superbad head once again. Kip Sabian is bringing Butcher & Blade with him to go after Cassidy while his Best Friends are down and out. But will Cassidy’s new pals be more than enough to turn back the Superbad Squad?
The trios sort out and Cassidy starts against Kip. Fans rally and chant for “FRESHLY SQUEEZED!” but Kip copies Cassidy putting his hands up. Cassidy rushes in, Kip gets around and waistlocks to headlock. Cassidy powers out, headlocks back, but Kip powers out, only for Cassidy to slip around and headlock again. Kip powers out, things speed up and Cassidy arm-drags, but Kip cartwheels through! Kip mocks Cassidy, Cassidy rushes in but Kip dumps him out. Kip fakes Cassidy out with an Arabian Press, then he mocks putting his hands up again. Cassidy rushes back in, dodges Kip now, and sends him out!
Cassidy mocks Kip, then puts his hands up. To put his hands in his pockets! Kip rushes in, Cassidy dodges and SHOTGUNS! Cassidy kips up and fans fire up, but Kip scrambles away to tag in Butcher. Butcher eggs Cassidy on, but fans cheer as Cassidy tags in STIIIING! The Icon steps to Andy Williams and Andy talks trash. Butcher swings a forearm, but Sting just brushes it off! Butcher throws another forearm, but then Sting counter punches! And back hands! And punches again! Sting kicks low, ROCKS Butcher, then fires off in the corner. But Butcher claws at the eyes! The fans boo but Butcher BITES Sting’s forehead!
Butcher BLASTS Cassidy and Darby, then mocks Sting’s howl. Butcher runs, but misses the splash! Sting runs to hit the STINGER SPLASH! Fans fire up as Sting snapmares and gets the legs! But Blade and Kip attack! Fans boo but Darby and Cassidy fight them off! Kip throws Cassidy out, Blade scoops and dumps Darby out, then the Superbad Squad coordinates. Butcher & Blade reel Sting in, Butcher tags Kip, and then they DOUBLE SUPLEX Sting! Kip goes up the corner, but Sting slow rolls away, a la Cassidy! Speaking of Cassidy, he and Darby go after Butcher & Blade on the outside! Fans fire up but Kip is frustrated.
Kip storms over to another corner and climbs up again, but Sting slow rolls the other way! Fans fire up, Darby reaches out and makes the tag! Kip leaps, Darby gets under to SLAP, HEADBUTT, roll and CODE RED! Cover, TWO! Kip is still in this and Penelope Ford gets on the apron! The ref reprimands her while Darby whips Kip. Kip reverses, Darby goes up the ropes, but Blade trips him up! Darby hits the mat hard, Kip stomps away, and fans boo while AEW goes picture in picture.
Kip drags Darby up while Butcher sends Cassidy into barriers! Kip hits a FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Tag to Blade, the squad mugs Darby, then they send him into a corner. Blade runs in to CHOP! And CHOP! And then snapmare to PENATLY KICK! Cover, TWO! Blade drags Darby over, tags in Butcher, and they DOUBLE HEADBUTT Darby down. Butcher drags Darby up to CHOP him back down. Butcher drags Darby up to bump him off buckles, then he tags Kip. Kip stomps Darby, then taunts Sting. The ref reprimands Kip but that allows Blade to CHOKE Darby! Kip howls, tags Blade, and the mugging continues.
Blade brings Darby up to ROCK him with a forearm. Blade brings Darby around to whip him to ropes, to then POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Tag to Butcher, he stomps Darby, then ties up the legs. Darby throws hands from below, but Butcher still drags him into a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Darby endures, claws his way around, but even Penelope taunts him with shouting, “TAP! TAP!” Dynamite returns to single picture as Darby crawls towards his corner, only for Blade to swing him out into a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Darby survives but Butcher tags Kip. Kip drags Darby up to wrench an arm and whip. Darby uses that to BLAST Butcher & Blade!
Kip runs in, blocks Darby’s boot and spins Darby around to back suplex. Darby lands on his feet, but his knee jams! Darby crawls and scrambles, but Kip drags him back! Kip catches Darby, Blade trips Sting! Blade sends Sting into barriers! Darby sunset flips Kip, Kip stays up so Darby lets him go to hot tag Cassidy! Fans are thunderous as Cassidy eggs Kip on! Kip rushes Cassidy but gets a buckle bump! Cassidy goes up top, and CROSSBODIES! Cassidy keeps moving, he ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl DDT! And kip up! Fans are thunderous again as Cassidy gives Kip those “devastating” kicks! But then Butcher runs in to CLOBBER Cassidy!
Fans boo and the ref reprimands, but Butcher brings Cassidy up. Butcher lifts but Cassidy fights the bomb! Blade gets in, they DRAG THE LAKE!! Kip covers, TWO!! Cassidy survives and Kip is furious! Kip howls, runs and CANNONBALLS! Fans boo but Kip soaks it all up. Kip is too busy having fun, he misses Cassidy tag STIIIIING! Sting walks up to give those same “devastating” kicks! Kip thinks it’s Cassidy, and turns around into quite the surprise. Sting “beats” his chest, Kip swings, but into a LARIAT! Sting really fires up, and he rallies on the Superbad Squad! Kip springboards, but Sting catches him! SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!
Ford freaks out, Blade gets up and throws hands, but Sting doesn’t flinch! Butcher adds on, the 2v1 is too much and Kip gets free. But Darby returns to fire off on Butcher & Blade! Butcher blocks one, CLUBS Darby and then hoists Darby up. Darby BOOTS Blade, BITES Butcher’s hand, then runs to DOUBLE COFFIN SPLASH! Butcher & Blade bail out but Darby builds speed, into Kip’s body shot! Kip avoids Orange’s punch, to suplex, STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE! Then Cassidy DIVES to take out Blade! Darby hops up to THROWBACK STUNNER on Kip, then he DIVES into Butcher!
Sting has Kip in the dragon sleeper, and fans are thunderous for the SCORPION DEATH DROP!! Cover, Sting’s team wins!
Winners: Sting, Darby Allin & Orange Cassidy
A huge win for the unlikeliest of trios, and Cassidy adorns Sting with the sunglasses! As for Darby, he is looking at the Double or Nothing banner. The Relentless One wants at MJF and the gold, will he be living it up in Las Vegas?
AEW shares backstage footage from last week.
After having his “Re-Bar-Mitzvah” interrupted by Darby Allin, Sammy Guevara and “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry, it was obvious Maxwell Jacob Friedman was mad. He curses up a storm, then says he is the world champion! But Darby Allin says the world title means much more than money and fame. It is him being him. And Jack Perry, for himself, his family, and everyone who supported him all this time, he is going to become champion on his own. Sammy says that the world title is his destiny! He said so since episode ONE of Dynamite that he is going to be world champion. But MJF says that’s not how it works! You don’t waltz up to the champ and call your shot, you EARN it!
MJF has beaten Darby, Sammy and JB once each in 1v1 competition in their AEW careers, and he tells them they have to become #1 contender. Good luck trying, because all three of them SUCK! Sammy says he’ll win as many matches as it takes to get that belt off MJF. JB says that you can check the record books. He’s already won more matches than any of them. Darby says he’s beaten Sammy and he’s beaten JB, so he will stop at nothing to make sure that MJF is no longer champion. Who of these three Young Pillars of AEW will be THE one that challenges MJF at Double or Nothing?
AEW takes a closer look at tonight’s main event dream match.
Excalibur narrates that, “In 2021, there was no one hotter in professional wrestling than Kenny Omega. Known as ‘The Belt Collector,’ Omega won championships around the world, including in Mexico, where he won the AAA Mega Championship. At the same time, El Hijo del Vikingo was quickly establishing himself as one of the premier luchadors in all of Mexico. A match was made for December 2021: Vikingo, Omega, for the first time ever for the AAA Mega Championship. Unfortunately, Omega’s injuries at Full Gear were so severe, they required surgery, keeping him out of action for nearly a year.
“Now, with Omega back at 100%, the dream match is on for tonight. Kenny Omega, El Hijo del Vikingo, live!” Who will come out as truly the best today?
AEW World Tag Team Championships: The Gunns VS Top Flight!
They may not be the Young Bucks, the Lucha Brothers or the Hardy Boyz, but Austin & Colten are the brother tag team reigning over AEW. But will they soon find out they are not nearly as good as they think they are? Or will the Gunns cause the Coldest Tag Team in the Game to melt down?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who is really the better brother duo!
The teams sort out, Austin starts against Dante, and Independence taunts the “ASS~ BOYS!” Austin tunes that out, knuckle locks with Dante, and then he CHOPS! Austin goes up and up, but then says no no no. Austin hops down, swings on Dante, but misses! Dante knuckle locks and CHOPS, then he goes up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAGS! Dante kips up and fans fire up! Austin tags Colten, but Dante arm-drags Colten down! Tag to Darius, the Martins double whip and speed things up, to then DROPKICK Colten down! Austin runs in, but into a DROPKICK! The Gunns regroup, but the Martins double clothesline them up and out!
Fans fire up as Dante says they’re getting those belts. The “ASS~ BOYS!” regroup and Colten slides back in. Tag to Austin, he and Dante circle again, and Austin gets around to shove Dante to ropes. Dante BLASTS Colten before the cheap shot! Dante then goes up and over Austin, only for Austin to pull hair! The ref reprimands, but misses Colten HOTSHOT Dante down! Fans boo as Austin stomps and Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Austin whips Dante out of the ring, then taunts Darius to distract the ref. Colten stomps away on Dante! Colten puts Dante in before anyone notices, and Austin bumps Dante off buckles. Tag to Colten, he stomps Dante, but lets off as the ref reprimands. Colten stomps some more, he and Austin taunt Independence and Darius, then Colten drags Dante up. Colten DECKS Dante, then mocks the fans. Colten ROCKS Dante, ROCKS him again, then suplexes. Cover, TWO! Colten stays between the Martin brothers, drags Dante over and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Austin, he stomps Dante now, then digs his boots in.
The ref reprimands but Austin mocks the fans rallying for Dante. Austin lets off and Colten CHOKES Dante! Colten lets off Dante before he gets caught, and Austin tags Colten in. Colten drags Dante up, whips him to ropes, and the Gunns body shot, knee lift and LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Colten stays between the Martins again, drags Dante up and whips him to the corner. Colten runs in but Dante dodges the splash! Austin tags in and hurries to stop Dante. Austin shoves Dante down, but Dante fakes Austin out to go under! Austin still grabs a leg, tags Colten back in, and the Gunns double back suplex! But Dante lands on his feet!
Dynamite returns to single picture, Dante goes over Austin, over Colten, and tags in Darius! Darius rallies on the Gunns and fans fire up! Darius hits an atomic drop on Austin, then LARIATS Colten! Mule kick for Austin, and Darius whips him at Colten. Austin reverses but Darius uses that to UPPERCUT Colten! Austin runs back in, but is sent into Colten! Darius uses Austin to get up and ENZIGURI Colten! Darius then GERMAN SUPLEXES Austin, and STANDING SPANISH FLIES Colten! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Darius drags Colten up. Tag to Dante, Top Flight double whip, but Colten ducks and tags Austin!
Darius leaps to CROSSBODY Colten! Austin runs in, but into a hall nelson SLAM! cover, TWO!! Dante keeps cool, he goes to the corner, but Colten grabs his leg! Dante kicks Colten away, Darius DIVES onto Colten to hit him into railing! Dante GAMANGIRIS Austin, goes up and up and NOSEDIVES!! Cover, Colten breaks it!! Fans boo but Colten was within the rules. Wait, is that THE KINGDOM!? Mike Bennett & Matt Taven are mugging Darius over their ROH losses! But Dante FLIES out onto them! Direct hit and fans fire up! Dante hurries back up, springboards again, but Austin gets under!
Colten gets in, Dante runs into a 3:10 TO YUMA!! Cover, the Gunns win!
Winners: The Gunns, by pinfall (still AEW World Tag Team Champions)
Fans boo that the Gunns win, but Darius is pissed at The Kingdom! Darius chases off Mike & Matt, will Top Flight get revenge in ROH? As for the Gunns, they hear FTR coming! Fans fire up again as Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler step out on stage with mics in their hands! Colten gets a mic to have the FTR music stop. Colten says no one wants to hear that song and no one wants to see FTR. Fans boo because they disagree. FTR says they’re not here to fight. They’re here to talk business. Well, no one wants to hear you talk! The Gunns don’t like or respect FTR. And guess what? FTR are LOSERS! They lost three sets of belts, and lost to the Gunns!
There is nothing FTR can say or offer them to get a rematch. NOTHING! Nothing? So like, if they said they’ll never challenge the Gunns again for those titles should they lose- NO! Do you not hear what Austin is saying, “you hillbillies? NOTHING! There’s NOTHING! What do you have to offer?! NOTHING!!” Then if the Gunns wanna prove their first win wasn’t a fluke, should they win against FTR again, FTR will never tag together in AEW again. Oh, the break up? So heartbreaking! LOOK AT HIS FACE! NOTHING!! Okay, okay. Dax says if FTR can’t beat the Gunns to win the AEW World Tag Team Championships, FTR will just quit AEW.
Fans boo, but it seems that got through to the Gunns. If the Gunns beat FTR again, FTR leaves AEW forever? Yes, that’s what Dax said. Well, in that case, deal! The Gunns and FTR shake on it, but then Gunns literally spin in FTR’s faces! The Gunns run for it, but the match is coming either way. Will the “ASS~ BOYS!” get their asses kicked? Or will they be the team that banishes FTR from AEW?
Backstage interview with Jade Cargill, Leila Grey & Mark Sterling.
Renee Paquette is with the AEW TBS Champion, her Last Baddie Standing and her legal representation. Renee says that Taya Valkyrie is All Elite now, and she has her eye on the TBS title. What is Jade’s reaction to that? “Renee, cut the sh*t. We had this Taya girl come in and interrupt my moment to answer an open challenge that was already closed, baby girl. And then, had the audacity to use my finisher. Mark, tie this up.” Sterling has a document, it is a Cease & Desist order. This will be sent to Taya Valkyrie, telling Taya that she is no longer allowed to use the chicken wing facebuster, which is also Jade’s move, as her finisher.
Leila says that she should deliver this document to Taya personally, this Saturday on Rampage. Because she has a few words of her own for Taya. So that’s an official challenge? Yes. Welcome to #ThatBitchShow. Will La Wera Loca have a jaded response to this frivolous lawsuit?
No Disqualifications: Hook VS Stokely Hathaway!
An injured arm turned into a suspension turned into a settlement turned into a high stakes bet that The Firm lost, and now it has resulted in this match. And though Ethan Page, Matt Hardy, Isiah Kassidy, Lee Moriarty & “Big Bill” Morrissey see Stokely off, they can’t stay per the stipulations of the bet. As the introduction says, “He’s not as large as the men he represents, he has the heart of a lion and the wisdom of an owl.” But will any of that help him defeat The Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil?
As Hook makes his entrance, Stokely grabs the mic to say, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I’ve got some breaking news! I spoke to Dr. Simpson (he means Sampson) earlier, and he said I am not medically cleared to compete. I know, I know. I wanted to so bad. And I would also, what a coinky-dink, announce that I am retiring.” What? Stokely thanks all 12 of his fands, God bless! Justin, here, doctor’s note. Make it official. Justin takes the note, and it reads, “He is SICK.” Justin says that with all due respect, that’s a receipt for Wingstop. The ref RIPS the receipt! And the bell rings! Fans fire up and Hook is ready, so Stokely bails!
Stokely runs around the ring, out to the crowd, but Hook pursues! Fans fire up as Hook chases Stokely down, drags him back, CLUBS him, then brings him over to KNEE and TOSS! Stokely ends up at ringside again and fans are thunderous! Hook stalks Stokely, Stokely runs in to UPPERCUT, but Stokely bounces off of Hook! Stokely scurries away, gets back up, and runs in, but into a leg capture! EL CAMINO to the floor! Fans fire up as Hook drags Stokely up, puts him in the ring, and then looks under the ring. Fans fire up more, because here comes a SPARE GUARD RAIL! Hook puts that in the ring while the Firm can only watch.
Hardy tries to calm the group down, Stokely can take care of himself with things getting “hardcore.” Ethan says no he can’t, they didn’t practice any of the hardcore stuff! Stokely bails out again but Hook puts the railing in a corner. Hook drags Stokely up but Stokely BLASTS Hook with the fire extinguisher! Fans boo but Stokely gets a chair! Stokely smacks the steps a couple times, he says, “I’m not a killer, but don’t push me! That’s Tupac.” Stokely hurries in, fans rally up, and Stokely swings, but Hook blocks! Hook BOOTS Stokely, then SMACKS him on the back! And again! And again! And again!
Hook throws the chair aside, Stokely is barely moving! But Hook drags Stokely up to EL CAMINO onto the railing! The railing BENDS! Hook drags Stokely off the railing, covers, but then pulls him up at TWO! Hook wants REDRUM!!! Stokely is OUT, Hook wins!
Winner: Hook, by submission
The FTW Champion could’ve ended it sooner, but he chose to teach Stokely a lesson: Do not get on Hook’s bad side. Hardy says Ethan must avenge Stokely! Ethan can beat Hook! Hardy is gonna get a match made right now! All Ego is ready, but will he be ready when they #SendHook?
Adam Cole is here!
Fans fire up as the Undisputed One heads to the ring. Naturally, everyone joins in on the “BOOM!” and “ADAM COLE BAYBAY!” Cole gets the mic and says, “Wow. Hey, hey, I think I know the answer to this, but who’s ready for Storytime with Adam Cole, baybay?” Everyone cheers! Cole continues with, “Seven days. We are just seven days away from me making my in-ring return here in AEW. And listen, I know I’ve talked a ton about my struggles and what I went through, but as far as how I’m feeling right now? Guys, I feel freaking great. I have never been more ready, never been more prepared, to get back in this ring, doing what I love, and that is wrestle for AEW.”
Fans are fired up, and Cole knows everyone has questions. “The biggest one being: Who is my opponent going to be on March 29th?” Fans echo, “Who? Who? Who?” Cole starts to speak, but here comes Daniel Garcia! Fans boo as Red Death has the mic to say, “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Who’s ready for Storytime with Daniel Garcia, baybay?” Garcia knows Cole’s been gone awhile, so here’s an update on a few things. Fans tell Garcia to STFU already but Garcia says since Cole’s been gone, Garcia’s become a real veteran in AEW. All the boys in the back respect him so much that he is a locker room leader!
Fans boo more but Garcia says as locker room leader, it is his duty to come out here to not only welcome Cole back, but to put him in his place, too. Garcia says Cole may not remember, but here’s an update on what Garcia’s been doing the last nine months while Cole was home, “playing stupid video games on Twitch.” Cole smirks but allows it. Brody King: beat him! Ricky Starks: beat him! Bryan Danielson: Garcia beat him, too. Garcia’s main-evented more AEW programming over the past year than anyone else on the roster! Garcia is the lifeblood that pumps through this company. And he’s to respect Cole? To welcome Cole back? Where’s Garcia’s warm welcome?
Where is Garcia’s respect when he’s been here, been doing this, and proved himself as one of the best pro-wrest- Oops. Freudian slip there? Garcia corrects himself, “Sports entertainers on the planet today!” That’s what Garcia is! So what makes Cole so special? “What makes me special? When they ring the freakin’ bell, that’s what makes me special! That’s what makes m e special.” Cole admits he likes Garcia. Garcia is really, really good. And some day, he could be leading the charge in AEW. The problem is the company he keeps.
“The Jericho Appreciation Society, they’ve done a great job of giving you this false sense of security. This overconfidence, which sometimes is good, and sometimes is bad. But let me remind you, even me not wrestling for nine months, I am still Adam Cole Baybay. I am a multi-time world champion. I have traveled the globe, fought and beat some of the very best! As a matter of fact, while I was sitting at home for nine months, I was wondering if I’d ever get the chance to wrestle again, hoping, praying, willing to do anything for a second chance. And looks like I found that second chance.”
Fans fire up and Cole says if Garcia is crazy enough to want the match, then dammit, he’s on! Adam Cole VS Daniel Garcia, first-time-ever, next week on Dynamite! But Cole will remind Garcia of something: “This is not just my return match; this is a statement. It’s a statement to the entire locker room that one of the best damn pro-wrestlers on the planet is BACK, baybay.” Fans are fired up for “ADAM COLE! ADAM COLE!” Cole hopes Garcia realizes what he’ sin for. Because Cole promises next week will be a great night. A great night for Cole, for the fans, but for Garcia… Not so much. “See you next week, Garcia. BOOM.”
Cole is ready, Garcia is ready, but will the Dragonslayer stay a great sports enner-tay-ners? Or will the pro-wrestler in him rise to the surface against one of the greatest pro-wrestlers alive today?
Alex Marvez is outside The Elite’s locker room.
Marvez can hear a conversation going on inside, and he steps inside. Callis and Omega are talking, and Callis wants Marvez to hold on. What is Omega’s concern here? Omega’s concern is that his best friends left in an ambulance! He should’ve gone with them! Callis says he sent Cutler and Nakazawa with them. Omega has a match tonight! Hear Callis out. He’s a glass half full kind of guy. Injuries happen, but hear him out. The Bucks going to the hospital might’ve been the best thing for Omega and Callis. It allows for focus! Omega is in a singles match, the God of Pro-Wrestling is back! “Those kids will be fine in a few months.”
Callis now has Marvez join in. “Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo is gonna blow the roof off! The God of Pro-Wrestling is BACK, and it starts tonight on Dynamite! Now get out.” Marvez throws this back to ringside, but is Callis only thinking of his benefit, not Kenny’s?
Jon Moxley w/ The Blackpool Combat Club VS Stu Grayson w/ The Dark Order!
The Maniac, along with Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta, have torn into the Dark Order from Silver to Reynolds to Evil Uno. They did all that to anger Hangman Page, but they’ve also angered #PlayerTwo! Moxley may be #ForgedByCombat, but will he survive someone born and bred for combat?
The bell rings and Stu RAMS Moxley into a corner! Fans fire up as Stu fires off on Moxley but lets off as the ref counts. Moxley turns things around to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Moxley pie faces Stu, but Stu turns things around to CHOP back! Stu stalks Moxley to another corner, KNEES him and CLUBS him, then stalks him to a third corner. Moxley kicks low, ROCKS Stu with a forearm, then another, then digs his boots in. The ref counts, Moxley steps off at 4, then Moxley drags Stu up to headlock takeover. Stu keeps his shoulders up, the Dark Order coaches him up but Moxley gets a knuckle lock cover. TWO as Stu gets his left arm up.
Moxley pushes the hand down, covers, TWO as Stu gets the right arm up. Moxley pushes that arm down again, covers, ONE as Stu gets his left arm back up. Stu fights to his feet but Moxley kicks low. Moxley headlocks, Stu powers out but Moxley RAMS him! Moxley runs, but Stu RAMS him! Moxley runs in, clips Stu but is sent out of the ring. Stu hurries out after Moxley, Moxley throws a chair! Stu avoids it, ROCKS Moxley and puts him in the ring. Moxley kicks back, but Stu RANAS! Stu fires forearms, CHOPS Moxley in the corner, then throws knees. Stu whips corner to corner, Moxley reverses and avoids the up ‘n’ over!
Moxley reels Stu in for a SAIDO! Stu staggers up but then flops out to the apron. Moxley runs to BLAST Stu off and to the barriers! Moxley flips Stu off while Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Yuta & Claudio taunt Stu as the ring count climbs. The Dark Order coaches Stu up and he gets in the ring at 5 of 10, but Moxley is right on him. Stu throws a forearm, then another, and another, and another! But Moxley ROCKS Stu with just one! Stu falls over and Claudio yawns. It seems this isn’t competitive enough for the Swiss Superman. Moxley has the legs, he stomps Stu in the stomach, then ties the legs up. But Stu fights back with fists! Moxley still powers Stu into the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Stu endures as Moxley sits deep, and he reaches out to the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Moxley lets off at 4.
Moxley drags Stu up to CHOP, but Stu CHOPS back! Stu fires forearms, whips, and DROPKICKS Moxley! Moxley goes to a corner, Stu is after hm with a whip, but Moxley reverses to clothesline! Moxley then brings Stu out to X-PLEX! Moxley paces around, the BCC applauds, but the Dark Order coaches Stu. Moxley reels Stu in, lifts him, and hooks the legs to hit the GOTCH PILEDRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Stu is still in this, but Moxley has the knuckle locks back. Dynamite returns to single picture as Moxley rains down the DRAGON STOMPS! Cover, TWO!! Stu hangs tough again, but Moxley just taunts him.
Fans rally, Stu rises, and Moxley KICKS him in the chest! And KICKS him again! Moxley eggs Stu on, then KICKS him more! Moxley SLAPS Stu! Stu snarls and stands up to fire off forearms! Stu whips, Moxley reverses but Stu CLOBBERS him! Stu dodges, tilt-o-whirls and REVERSE DDTS! Then he rains down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Fans fire up as Stu gives Moxley a taste of his own medicine! And then the SIDE EFFECT! SPRINGBOARD MARIPOSA! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives and Stu grows frustrated. Stu hurries up a corner, but Yuta distracts! Fans boo but the Dark Order storm up on the BCC!
Stu decides to change course, he ARIHARA MOONSAULTS onto Yuta & Claudio! But Moxley DIVES onto Stu! Moxley puts Stu in the ring, hurries after him, but Stu BOOTS Moxley down! Stu hurries back up top, for the 450 SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!! Moxley survives again and Stu is shocked! But Stu slashes the throat and drags Moxley up. Torture rack, but Moxley slips off right into the BULLY CHOKE!! Stu endures, but he’s turning red! Moxley shifts to the facelock to throw in KNEE after KNEE! Then he shifts to the REAR NAKED CHOKE! But Stu fights up to his feet! Fans fire up but Stu is fading again!
But Stu is still on his feet, and he revives! BACKPACK CANNONBALL!! Both men crash into buckles and Stu is free! Fans are thunderous again and Moxley sputters back to his feet. Moxley brings Stu up, but Stu slips out of the underhooks! PELE!! Moxley falls down and the BCC coach him up. Stu goes back to a corner, climbs back up top, but Moxley ROCKS him first! Moxley climbs, CLUBS away on Stu, then CLAWS Stu’s back. Moxley HEADBUTTS Stu, brings him up into underhooks! SUPER DEATH RIDER!! Cover, Moxley wins!!
Winner: Jon Moxley, by pinfall
The Dark Order hurry into the ring and Moxley backs off, there won’t be any extracurriculars here. But will the Dark Order ever get payback on the mean SOBs in the BCC?
Backstage interview with Ricky Starks.
Renee says she can feel the frustration coming off The Absolute. The back ‘n’ forth with him and Juice Robinson, where do they stand? You tell him! Starks is “sick and tired of talking back and forth. No action, all talk.” Starks doesn’t wanna stand around, take time off his vacation, just to say Juice, he doesn’t like that you attacked him from behind. That’s cool and all, but whatever! How about this, though? Saturday Night Rampage, Starks is done talking. If Juice wants to face him man to man, then he can find Starks on Rampage! If not, just stop! Starks is over it, he is so sick of it! This is the craziest thing he’s been a part of his whole life!
Starks is issuing the open challenge to Juice. If Juice accepts it or not, is a man or not, Starks doesn’t give a damn anymore. The Absolute will be waiting, but will the Booster oblige?
AEW presents an all-new episode of QTV!
QT Marshall says great job last week in their debut, keep the “credibility train” rolling. CHOO-CHOO~! He needs scoops! Harley Cameron says she actually has discovered a “hot new prospect.” Goes by the name of Rey Fenix. And actually, here’s some footage. Hobbs POUNCING Fenix into buckles int heir TNT title match, and the spinebuster, and the Town Business. Everyone has a laugh, and QT says, “Imagine being in the Lucha Brothers, and your own lucha brother doesn’t come out to help you.” Aaron Solo says there is definitely some miedo! Then he laughs while also puffing mouth spray…?
QT asks who the hecc is Alex Abrahantes? Harley says Alex should work on his “character development.” Speaking of, how about Solo stealing Wardlow’s identity and freezing all of his accounts? Oopsie~! Yeah, Wardlow’s gonna lose his house and car, too! And Solo hacked into some observer’s accounts, started this whole thing about hotels. HAHA! QT just got a call from Hobbs. This Saturday on Rampage, another Open Challenge for the TNT title! Can’t wait to see who is the next chapter in the Book of Hobbs. Well, wait no longer! PENTA wants payback for Fenix as he answers the call! Will Hobbs be the one with some fear?
Toni Storm w/ The Outcasts VS Skye Blue!
The Lightning From Down Under has been striking down “spoiled rookies” again and again, but in the Dark. Will she do so again in the spotlight of Dynamite? Or will Skye roll the Storm away?
The bell rings and Storm BLASTS Skye with a forearm! Then she stomps a mudhole into Skye in the corner! The ref counts, Storm lets off but she grins and soaks up the heat. Soho & Saraya mock Skye, then Storm bumps her off buckles., Skye elbows back, fires forearms in return, and the fans fire up! But Storm knees low! Storm whips Skye, Skye kicks back! Skye ROCKS Storm again and again, but Storm shoves her away. Skye comes back, spins Storm for a KNEE SMASH and a DROPKICK! Storm bails out, fans fire up and Skye goes to the apron! FLYING RANA! Fans fire up with Skye but Saraya is mad.
Skye puts Storm in the ring, climbs up the corner, but Storm ROCKS her! Skye falls to the apron, then Storm HIP ATTACKS Skye to the floor! Storm distracts the ref, allowing Soho & Saraya to stomp away on Skye! Fans boo but the Outcasts get away with it! Saraya says, “This is OUR house!” Storm goes out to fetch Skye, and RAMS her into the apron. Storm CHOPS Skye against the post, then bumps her off the other. Storm CHOPS Skye again! Saraya says do it again! Storm puts some stank on this one, but Skye ducks, so the chop hits POST! Saraya & Soho panic as Storm clutches her fingers! Skye then runs in, but Storm dodges so Soho gets DECKED!
Storm CLOBBERS Skye from behind while the ring count climbs. Storm refreshes the ring count, Saraya shouts at Skye, and Storm CHOPS Skye again. Storm stalks Skye around the way as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Storm drags Skye around to snap suplex her to the floor! Storm flexes, perhaps taunting Jamie Hayter wherever she’s watching this from, and then she goes back for Skye. Storm puts Skye in the ring, flexes more, then drags Skye up. Storm whips Skye to ropes, BOOTS her down, covers, ONE! Cover again, TWO! Another cover, TWO!! Skye is still in this but Storm clamps on with a full nelson. Storm leans on the hold, thrashes Skye around, but Skye endures. Skye fights up, but Storm throws her down by her hair! The ref reprimands but Storm just stalks Skye. Storm kicks Skye around, has her in the corner, and digs her boot in.
The ref counts, Storm stomps but lets off at 4. Storm drags Skye up to snap suplex! Storm grins then stalks Skye. Storm drags Skye up to snap suplex again! Storm flexes more, stalks Skye to another corner, then wrenches her hair to TOSS her across the way! The ref reprimands but Storm just wrenches hair and TOSSES Skye again! Dynamite returns to single picture as Storm soaks up the heat. But Skye shoves Storm down! And then TOSSES Storm by her hair! And again! Skye fires up, runs corner to corner, but Storm puts her on the apron. Skye ROUNDHOUSES! Skye climbs up, to CROSSBODY!
Fans fire up, Skye keeps moving, she ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl headscissor! Storm ends up on ropes, Skye runs to SHINING WIZARD! Snapmare and SUPER- NO, Storm blocks and spins Skye, but Skye BASEMENT ENZIGURIS! Cover, TWO!! Storm survives and Skye grows frustrated. Saraya & Soho are also frustrated, they rally for Storm but the fans rally for Skye. Saraya tells the fans to shut up! Skye runs, hops on, but Storm shrugs her off! Skye SUPERKICKS! Skye runs, into a THESZ PRESS! Storm rains down fists, then she snarls as she stands back up. Storm gets the legs, but Skye kicks her away!
Skye runs in, only for Storm to spin her around! Storm uses the ropes, TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO!! Skye survives and fans fire up! Saraya is furious but the ref says the count was fair. Skye goes to a corner but Storm says kiss this. SWEET HIP- NO, Skye picks the ankle! Skye KNEES Storm, runs, avoids Soho’s swipe, and she hits CODE BLUE!! But Soho is still distracting the ref!! Skye would’ve had this if not for Soho! Skye gets in Soho’s face, swings at her, but Storm runs in! Skye sends Storm into Soho, rolls and bridges, TWO!!! Storm stands, into a BOOT! Skye full nelsons, Storm arm-drags free to SHOTGUN Skye down!
Saraya says Storm has this now! Storm says kiss this, and here comes SWEET HIP MUSIC!! GERMAN SUPLEX, and then STORM ZERO!! Cover, Storm wins!
Winner: Toni Storm, by pinfall
The Outcasts with the assist, but now they bring out the spray paint! Fans boo as the Outcast scare off the ref, then surround Skye! But here comes Riho and Willow! Just like last week, Riho has the pipe!! Riho runs the Outcast off and warns them. The Outcasts leave for now, having gotten the win. Will Riho, Willow and Skye start thinking of sticking together from now on?
The AEW medical staff checks on Stu Grayson.
They’re working on his left arm, where did they feel it pop? But then Moxley sneaks up to say, “It’s just business.” And he puts on the SLEEPER!! Claudio & Yuta TOSS the medics aside! Stu is all alone as Moxley chokes him out, then SMACKS him off a trunk! The BCC give Stu the icepack back then leave, what will Hangman & the Dark Order have to say about this?
Kenny Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo!
The AAA Mega Championship match that was meant to happen in December of 2021 was denied because of injury and misfortune. But now we are all fortunate enough to have this match happen here! “HE was the longest reigning Mega Champion at 765 days, 292 days more than El Hijo del Vikingo. HE never lost that title. HE is undefeated in singles matches in Mexico and also on Dynamite. Many people say HE is also undefeated at life. HE is often complimented on his accomplishments, matches, chiseled physique and hair, yet he is personally proud of his win-loss record in Independence, Missouri, which is better than his record of 1-1 in… NOOOORTH CAROLINA~!
“He arrives tonight after his 833 mile journey from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Weighing 224 pounds, HE is…! KENNY! OOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEGAAAAAA~!” The fans go wild for the Cleaner, the Best Bout Machine, and Don Callis’ God of Pro-Wrestling, but will Omega prove he is better than the Mega Champion?
But as Omega makes his way down the ramp, El Hijo del Vikingo DIVES onto him! Fans fire up, EHDV throws off his cape, then he runs again, to FLY! Direct hit again and Independence is thunderous! EHDV puts Omega in the ring, springboards and MISSILE DROPKICKS! Omega ends up in a corner, EHDV runs in to clothesline! EHDV fires off forearms, but Omega turns it around to fire them back! The ref wants them to let off, this isn’t a match yet! Omega rains down fists, lets off, and now the bell rings! Fans are thunderous as Omega stomps EHDV down. Omega drags EHDV up, whips him corner to corner, but EHDV slips out to the apron!
Omega hits buckles, then EHDV ENZIGURIS! And GAMANGIRIS! EHDV climbs up, and jumps to IMPOLODER DRAGONRANA! Omega goes flying, then staggers up into the SCREW HIGH KICK! Omega’s on the ropes, EHDV runs to DOUBLE KNEE him through the ropes! Omega falls to the floor, EHDV refreshes the count, and fans say “This is Awesome!” EHDV SHOOTING STAR PRESSES to the floor! A bit double-edged, but fans lose their minds! Callis protests, the ring count climbs, but EHDV puts Omega in the ring. EHDV aims, slingshots and then springboards to 450 SPLASH! Cover, TWO!!
Omega goes to a corner, EHDV runs in to GAMANGIRI again! Omega staggers away, EHDV pursues but Omega CHOPS! And CHOPS again! EHDV falls over but Omega stalks him to a corner. Omega brings EHDV up to JAB! And JAB! fans rally and duel, Omega drags EHDV up to whip. Omega scoops EHDV for a tilt-o-whirl BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Omega drags EHDV back up fast, to fisherman BUSTER! Cover, TWO! EHDV hangs tough and Omega is frustrated but the fans are loving this. Omega stalks EHDV to the ropes, scrapes him to the apron, and then Omega goes out to follow EHDV.
Omega CLUBS EHDV, and whips him hard into barriers! EHDV falls in a heap, but Omega goes looking under the ring. Omega brings out a TABLE! Fans fire up for that, and Omega stands that table up near the ring. The ref reprimands, this isn’t a Tables match or anything like that. But fans chant, “WE WANT TABLES!” as Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Omega drags EHDV up, puts him in the ring, and Omega storms up to scoop and BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Omega clamps on with an armlock and chinbar, but he also fishhooks EHDV’s face! The ref reprimands, Omega lets off, but then pulls on EHDV’s hair! The ref counts but Omega lets off at 4. Omega looms over EHDV, stomps him, stomps him more, then springboard stomps! Omega drags EHDV around to KNEE him in the side! And again! Cover, TWO! EHDV hangs tough but Omega just snarls. Omega drags EHDV up to CHOP him back down! Omega drags EHDV up again to CLUB him back down!
Omega drags EHDV up at the ropes, ROCKS him with a right hand, then ROCKS him again! And again! And again! The ref reprimands and counts, Omega lets off, but then Omega CHOKES EHDV with his foot! Dynamite returns, the fans boo and the ref counts, but Omega lets off at 4 again. Omega ROCKS EHDV again, JABS him, then whips him to ropes. EHDV ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl RANA! Omega goes to the apron, fans fire up as EHDV pursues! EHDV ROCKS Omega, but Omega tomahawk chops back! EHDV CHOPS, but Omega CHOPS! EHDV CHOPS back, so Omega BOOTS him! Omega runs in, goes up, and he MONKEY FLIPS EHDV on the apron!
EHDV falls to the floor while fans lose minds over how tight that one was. Omega drags EHDV up to the apron, and he grins as he looks at the table he set up. Omega drags EHDV up, the ref reprimands but Omega full nelsons! EHDV slips free to GAMANGIRI again! EHDV goes up top, balances on the post, and FLYING DRAGONRANAS!! Fans are thunderous as Omega hits the floor! Omega flounders into the ring, EHDV shoves him further in. Fans say “This is Awesome!” as both men go to corners. EHDV runs corner to corner to clothesline! EHDV hoists Omega up top, and GAMANGIRIS yet again!
EHDV climbs up after Omega, fans fire up again as they start to brawl! Omega HEADBUTTS, reels EHDV in, and SUPER POWER- STEINER!!! EHDV reverses just in time, Omega clutches his head! EHDV goes to the ropes, stands from the middle and PHOENIX SPLASHES in!!! Cover, TWO?!?! Omega survives by nanoseconds!! Independence is electric as both men rise up! They hope these two “FIGHT FOREVER!” but it has to end somehow! EHDV throws a forearm, a SOBAT, and then he runs to springboard, into a POWERBOMB!! And then another POWERBOMB! Roll through and V-TRIGGER!! Cover, TWO!!!
Omega is furious as EHDV survives! Omega slashes his throat, drags EHDV up, and he full nelsons for a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Omega snarls, he puts EHDV on the ropes and takes aim. BANG and V-TRIGGER!! But that’s not the end of it! Omega drags EHDV up, deadweight as he is, and Electric Chair Lifts! But EHDV throws down fists! EHDV hops down, UPPERCUTS, then goes up and up to FLYING POISON-RANA!!! Omega tumbles to the apron, and EHDV crawls over to push him onto the table! EHDV builds speed while fans fire up, and he goes up to ESCALARA 630 SENTON through the table!!!!
Independence is volcanic for “A E DUB! A E DUB!” while Callis is freaking out! Both men are down in the wreckage as the ring count starts. EHDV crawls away at 3 of 10, Omega finally stirs at 4. Both men drag themselves up at 6, stand at “OCHO!” And both men slide in at 9! EHDV covers, TWO!!! Omega is still in this and EHDV is beside himself! Fans rally up, both men rise again, and EHDV throws a haymaker! Omega gives it back, they go back and forth, faster and faster! They go forearm for forearm, stand up, and keep throwing shots! EHDV gets the edge, SOBATS, runs, into a V-TRIGGER!!
Omega whips, EHDV rolls up and SUNSET FLIP BOMBS! TWO?!?!? Omega narrowly escapes again and even HE is shocked! But EHDV hurries to a corner and climbs up top! Omega flounders in the drop zone, EHDV 630 SENTONS but FLOPS as Omega moves!! EHDV flounders up, into a V-TRIGGER!!! Omega drags EHDV up, Electric Chair Lifts, ONE WINGED ANGEL!!!! Cover, OMEGA WINS!
Winner: Kenny Omega, by pinfall
This was a dream match the moment it was made, but this became an all-time classic by the end! Tony Schiavone joins Callis and Omega in the ring to say this was an incredible match. Omega is back in singles competition, and that was one for the ages! Omega thanks Schiavone for that. The more time goes by, the more he wonders if he can still do this kind of stuff for the fans. Wait, wait! THE BCC JUMPS OMEGA!! Moxley, Claudio & Yuta all mug Omega, and fans boo while Callis can only shout at the ref to stop this! The BCC stand Omega up so they can throw body shots and haymakers!
Fans continue to boo, but wait! Sirens? An ambulance has returned? For who? Wait, HANGMAN is driving it!! The Cowboy has a 2×4, with nails in it! Fans are going nuts for “COWBOY SH*T!” while the BCC stomp away on Omega. But here comes Hangman, wood in hand! The BCC decide to bail! Callis checks on Omega but the damage has been done. Hangman wants Moxley to get his ass back in here, but he stays back. Callis tries to calm Hangman down, but he almost gets 2×4 to the face! Callis keeps pulling at Hangman’s arm to hold him back, but Hangman shakes free and Callis falls right down! Omega comes to, and misunderstands why Callis is down!
Callis blames Hangman but Hangman says he didn’t do anything to Don! Omega and Hangman argue, Callis cowers behind Omega, and Omega takes Callis’ side. Fans boo, but is this just Callis keeping Omega all to himself?
A great episode of Dynamite, but it already feels like they’re gonna keep things going until Double or Nothing, no big thing for April. We got a great promo out of the Four Young Pillars, and MJF is making the other three run the #1 contender race like he did Bryan Danielson from now until, I dunno, probably May 3rd so that May can focus on building MJF VS his challenger. Hard to say who it’ll be, but Darby’s off to a good start with that great Six Man Tag. Darby, Sting and Cassidy made an eclectic but great combination, especially with Sting borrowing some Freshly Squeezed tactics. And Cassidy’s International Championship card is open to just about anyone at this point.
Really good tag title match, but I should’ve figured shenanigans would help The Gunns retain. The Kingdom and Top Flight are solidly ROH Tag title contenders with #ReachForTheSky needing teams. Plus, The Gunns’ real story is with FTR, who came back to have a really good promo with them. Gunns VS FTR, Titles VS AEW contracts could honestly go either way. There’s a lot of talk out there of FTR going back to WWE since it’s under HHH right now, so this move could be how FTR exits AEW, but this could also be what guarantees FTR staying. Either way, this is going to be some really big stuff for the titles.
Good promo from Jade and her group, and you do have to appreciate Sterling’s gimmick of bringing about frivolous lawsuits on behalf of people to poke fun at wrestling tropes. The security guards finally got justice, even though they also got crushed by Wardlow, and now finishers that are exactly the same but with different names are being questioned. Pretty sure Leila loses the match and Taya tears up that document, though. Then it’ll be about who hits the chicken wing facebuster first to win that title. Jade has done an amazing job being an undefeated inaugural TBS Champion, but now is the time to move on to someone else so Jade can move on to the top title.
Great segment out of Hook, Stokely and The Firm. Great show from Stokely with trying to weasel out of this, then trying to run away from this, but of course he gets thrown around. Awesome use of spare guard railing, though. I figured Hook VS Ethan was going to be how this wraps up, can’t wait to see how that goes. And I appreciate Starks getting a little meta on the bad pacing of feuds. Starks VS Juice for Rampage, if it happens, will be great stuff, and maybe shenanigans helps Juice win to keep this going. Though, I feel like Starks and Juice could each be doing something better than spinning their wheels with each other. Give me Starks VS Hobbs and Orange VS Juice for those respective titles.
Speaking of which, only the second QTV segment and I’m just done with it. But they did point out the weird logic of Penta not being out there with Fenix last week. Penta VS Hobbs will probably go the same as Fenix VS Hobbs did, and Wardlow will come back for revenge. Also, another wrestling trope that needs poking at: Solo confessed to illegal activities but he won’t get investigated or arrested because it’s wrestling. If Sterling were a Face lawyer, he’d be right on Solo’s ass. But maybe Wardlow beats the crap out of Solo as his punishment, then he gets his shot at Hobbs at Double or Nothing to put this story to rest.
Great promo from Cole and Garcia, and I appreciate they had Garcia have that slip of the tongue. Garcia is of course enjoying the fun side of being a sports entertainer, showing off his personality and just doing whatever shenanigans he wants, but he also clearly enjoys the pro-wrestling stuff of just fighting. Garcia VS Cole is going to be awesome stuff, but Garcia and the JAS also have their story with the House of Black so who knows how the finish goes. Great match out of Storm VS Skye, and Skye looked great even in defeat. Another inconsistency in wrestling logic: Riho & Willow should’ve been ringside to start because they know The Outcasts will be up to no good. But I suppose that does give Riho & Willow their moment of heroism in running the Outcasts off.
I bring up that inconsistency in logic because that match was after Moxley VS Grayson, where both men had their allies ringside. The men can think to bring their boys but the women’s division can’t think to bring their friends along, when we’ve also always seen Britt have Rebel and/or Hayter and vice-versa? Anyway, great stuff out of Moxley VS Grayson, and Grayson also looked awesome even in defeat. The BCC apparently went after everyone Hangman considers a friend, as the Bucks were taken out off-camera by them, and then the BCC jump Grayson.
And then, for being a non-title TV main event, Omega VS El Hijo del Vikingo went above and beyond anything I would’ve expected. There were some scary moments, like that Super Steiner counter to the powerbomb. But then again, it wouldn’t feel like an AAA match if there wasn’t some risk like that. BCC jumping Omega after he wins was a good way to keep the Elite reunion story going, but now there’s the new wrinkle of Don Callis wanting Omega to stay a singles star. To be fair, this is very much like the story of Callis, Omega and The Elite when AEW first got started. Callis wants Omega to return to that Omega, and he throws Hangman under the bus.
Another pro-wrestling logic thing is that no one watches the show back when it’s done, unless it helps the story. And I would hope Omega does that here to see what really happened as opposed to just trusting Callis and distrusting Omega. Or if not Omega, the Bucks can. The Bucks will have seen it on TV at the hospital (kayfabe) and The Bucks will tell Omega that Hangman didn’t hit Callis. Callis is also trying to recruit Konosuke, so it’d be great if Callis only comes out of this with one client. If Omega realizes not to trust Callis over The Elite, then Callis and Konosuke can stick together. If Omega still keeps Callis around, Konosuke can reject Callis to stay his own man.
My Score: 8.9/10
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Mitchell’s WWE NXT Results & Report! (3/21/23)
Time for a grudge match!
Will NXT be UNBESIEGBAR?
While Stand & Deliver is on the horizon, Ilja Dragunov and JD McDonagh look to settle their NXT rivalry! Will the Czar trump the Irish Ace once and for all?
- NXT Women’s Championship Qualifier: Tiffany Stratton VS Indi Hartwell; Tiffany wins and advances to the title match at Stand & Deliver.
- Ilja Dragunov VS JD McDonagh; Double Disqualification Draw.
- NXT Women’s Championship Qualifier: Lyra Valkyria VS Ivy Nile; Lyra wins and advances to the title match at Stand & Deliver.
- The Great Debate: Chase U VS The Schism; Chase U wins.
- Bron Breakker & Carmelo Hayes w/ Trick Williams VS Pretty Deadly; Bron & Melo win.
PLAY BY PLAY
Pretty Deadly heads to the ring.
Kit Wilson & Elton Prince, the hosts of Stand & Deliver, are apparently just fine after getting thrown through a table last week. Elton has the mic to say, “Attention, attention. Quiet please. It is us, your hosts of Stand…” “And Deliver!” #YESBOY! And as their first official act as the hosts of Stand… and Deliver, they are officially wiping the footage of last week’s closing segment from the archives! You will no longer be able to view those “neckbearded mouth-breathing” Gallus boys cheat to win!
Nor will you see Bron Breakker & Carmelo Hayes jump them from behind to put them through a table! Elton already pretends to not know what happened. The gumption of those two! If not for the fact that these two are the hosts of Stand… and Deliver, those two wouldn’t even make it to Lala Land. Last week is history, today is a mystery. But let’s not get too far off the point. Let’s talk outfits for Stand… and Deliver! Now, hold on, talking about outfits, did you see those horrid ensembles both Melo and Bron were wearing last week? Main event talent, sure. But main event style? But wait, here come Trick Melo Gang!
Trick asks if his mic is working. It is. Good. Because he told the two bobbleheads to be quiet when grown-ups are talking. But Pretty Deadly interrupted so they had to get some “table service.” Melo says not to get it twisted. He was so dripped out, he left puddles! Talk about it. While Melo prepares for his biggest match ever, Pretty Deadly is standing here with his name in their mouths? In all fairness, Mr. Melo, Kit said it. Don’t try and be cute. HEY! They were born cute! They don’t have to try. HEY! Remember what Trick said about talking during grown folks business! We’re talking about the FUTURE NXT Champion! We don’t need that bad juju.
Trick figures Pretty Deadly shouldn’t talk the talk, but walk the walk. Um, hold on, there might be a break down in communication. They only speak the king’s English. But if they want to have a match, if Melo wants to jeopardize the main event of Stand…! And Deliver, then they ACCEPT! Good! Because tonight, the main event, Pretty Deadly VS the man, the myth and the legend, Carmelo Hayes, and his partner… BRON BREAKKER! Trick even tricks Melo there! But then Pretty Deadly attacks! They throw Trick out then mug Melo! But here comes BRON! Bron CLOBBERS Kit, DECKS Elton, and then TOSSES Kit! Elton runs in, he also gets TOSSED!
Bron trophy lifts Kit, and THRWOS him out onto Elton! Pretty Deadly has a pretty nasty landing, and the fans fire up! Bron offers Melo a hand, Melo takes it, and the two stand. Bron says nothing is gonna happen to Melo between now and Stand & Deliver. Melo scowls and takes his leave, but will the champion and challenger be able to stay civil on the Road to WrestleMania Weekend?
Trick and Melo regroup backstage.
Melo asks Trick what the heck, and Trick says he doesn’t know. That was all Trick Melo Gang, they didn’t need Bron. Bron wants Melo at his best, and he’ll get just that. And that means NEW NXT Champion, but he’s teaming with Bron now? Trick always has Melo’s back, right? Yeah, but Melo doesn’t wanna do that “Can they coexist?” crap! But Trick has Melo’s back. Melo needs to know Bron’s speed, flow and body control. Now he’ll have a front row seat. He’ll have the blueprint. Trick himself takes care of the conversation: “Thanks, Trick.” “You’re welcome, Melo.” And Pretty Deadly is easy money. Trick will make sure of that.
And at Stand & Deliver, the most important thing is still the most important thing. That’s all it is, and that’s all it’s gonna be.
NXT Women’s Championship Qualifier: Tiffany Stratton VS Indi Hartwell!
Daddy’s Little Rich Girl claimed she was going to Stand & Deliver even before Roxanne Perez retained the title against Meiko Satomura. But now with the title quite literally up in the air, will she take a spot in the ladder match? Or will #IndiWrestling finally have her moment in Hollywood?
The bell rings and fans rally behind Indi. Indi and Tiffany tie up, Indi headlocks, but Tiffany powers out. Indi runs Tiff over, covers, ONE! Indi wrenches an arm, RAMS shoulders, then wrenches again. Indi RAMS Tiff again, then YANKS the arm. Indi whips Tiff to a corner, runs in, but into a BOOT! Tiff runs in to CLOBBER Indi! Cover, TWO! Tiffany is annoyed but she drags Indi up. Indi wrenches out, and short arm LARIATS right back! And then short arm LARIATS again! Tiff dodges the next one, kicks low and snap suplexes! Cover, TWO! Fans rally, Tiff stomps Indi and talks trash, but Indi hits back!
Tiffany CLUBS Indi, drags her up and whips her to a corner hard! Indi bounces off buckles and Tiffany taunts her more. Indi blocks the whip, blocks it again, and ROCKS Tiffany with forearms! Tiffany kicks low, whips Indi hard into another corner, then runs to handspring and back elbow! Tiffany runs, but Indi avoids the stomps! Roll-up, TWO! Indi stomps Tiffany, puts her through ropes, and then uppercuts, but misses! Tiff trips Indi, but Indi kicks her away. Indi goes to the apron but Tiff TRIPS her! Indi hits the apron, Tiff says this is HER world and we’re all just living in it. Fans boo as NXT goes to break.
NXT returns and Tiffany has Indi in a chinlock. Indi endures, fights up, and throws body shots. Tiffany comes back, but into a JAWBREAKER! Indi runs in but Tiff sends her to ropes! Tiff runs to HIP ATTACK! Cover, TWO! Indi is still in this and Tiffany grows annoyed. Tiffany scoops but Indi slips off and waistlocks. Tiff runs to RAM Indi into buckles, then she DOUBLE STOMPS Indi down! Cover, TWO! Indi survives and fans rally up again. Tiffany drags Indi up, whips her to the corner, but Indi reverses. Tiffany goes up and over and handsprings, then comes back, but into Indi’s BIG back suplex!
Both women are down and fans rally back up. Indi and Tiffany crawl after each other, and Indi throws a forearm! Tiffany throws it back, but Indi throws another! They brawl as they stand up, Indi ROCKS and kicks and CLUBS and DECKS Tiffany! Fans fire up and Indi puts Tiffany through ropes to UPPERCUT and BOOT! Tiffany falls, Indi covers, TWO! Tiffany hangs tough but Indi runs in. Tiff dodges the boot to POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Indi is still in this and Tiffany pounds the mat in frustration. Fans boo as she goes to the apron, and Tiffany springboards. Indi avoids the swanton! SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO!!
Indi is surprised Tiffany survives, but she hurries to bring Tiffany up. Tiffany RAMS Indi into the corner, but Indi ELBOWS her back. Indi goes up but Tiffany YANKS her down! Fireman’s carry, and ROLLING SENTON! BEST MOONSAULT WHATEVER! Cover, Tiffany wins!
Winner: Tiffany Stratton, by pinfall (advances to Stand & Deliver)
Love her or hate her, the spoiled rich girl backed up her big talk. She is now the third woman to compete in the ladder match, but just how many more participants is HBK going to add?
Gallus is at the bar again.
They have more pints, they’re playing more pool, and they’re happy to be past Pretty Deadly. It is still Gallus Boys On Top! Mark Coffey breaks, but in walk the Creed Brothers. Gallus, funny seeing you guys here. Uh, everyone knows where to find them, Brutus. They’re not hard to find. They fancy a game? Sure, Gallus can break. Alright. Two more pints for Gallus, and uh, two glasses of milk for the Creeds. Milk? C’mon! Brutus will have what they’re having, but Julius is already too wild sober. They play a game, and once again, Gallus dominates the green felt. Eight ball, corner pocket for the win.
Great game, lads. Well, 8 Ball was never their game. Now darts? BULL’S EYE. Well alright, Gallus will throw. And just as Julius said, he and Brutus dominate. They want another round? Yeah, best two outta three. Except that round goes to the Creeds, too. Well, Gallus never took the Creeds for a pair of archers. Hey, they work hard in the dojo, and play hard outside. Well, between pool and darts, that just means they’re tied, 1-1. And they could go all day, but Julius has a better idea for the tiebreaker. Wolfgang and Mark know, too. Stand & Deliver, for the tag titles. No Pretty Deadly, no Indus Sher, the Creeds want the belts back.
Well, Gallus will gladly see them in LA, but the titles are staying with them. See you then. They all shake on it, then head out. Only for Tony D’Angelo & Channing Lorenzo to be waiting. Where’s everyone going? Next round’s on The Don. Because they have business to discuss. Stand & Deliver, that is. Really? Well, this is gonna be a long night. Everyone goes back inside the bar, will Tony and the Underboss get themselves a part in the Hollywood title picture?
Lyra Valkyria speaks.
As she runs up the stairs and through the halls of an abandoned building, she says, “Stand & Deliver, Los Angeles, get ready to soar.” But will she overcome her first obstacle here tonight?
Backstage interview with Gigi Dolin.
McKenzie Mitchell is with someone who has already qualified for the NXT Women’s Championship Ladder Match, and asks Gigi her feelings on the field so far. Gigi say sit is too early to judge. As sad as it is, if Roxie didn’t get hurt, this match wouldn’t be happening. Also, in regards to Jacy Jayne and her bad shoulder, sorry not sorry. Jacy tried to make Gigi’s life a living hell, so she can stay home and watch as Gigi climbs the ladder. The last time Gigi was in a ladder match, she won it. And she has been put through the wringer since. But mentally, no one has any idea. Gigi will do anything to-
Tiffany walks in to interrupt. She “loves” the confidence and all, but did you see her just win and get in that match? So Gigi and every other woman’s chances just went from “possible” to “absolutely screwed.” That title is Tiffany’s. Oh, another Tiffany Epiphany! Tiffany’s gonna win by climbing that ladder all the way to the tippy top! And she’ll love it. Tootles. Gigi makes a face, will Gigi slap that smug attitude right out of Tiffany come Stand & Deliver?
Wes Lee is in the ring.
“OOOH YO! Things have been absolutely crazy around here, right? And y’all have been enjoying these open challenges, correct?” Fans cheer and Wes says that’s good, because he has, too. But he constantly gets asked, “Why? Why are you doing it this way? Why continue to roll the dice? Eventually, your number’s gonna get called.” To Wes, he doesn’t wanna be a hypocrite. When he won this title at Halloween Havoc, it was his first shot at it. And he just knew he had to give it everything he had, because if he came up short, he doubted he’d ever get another shot. And now, as champion, he vows to give anyone the opportunity that was in that same position he was in.
Now, secondly, he knows he’s looking deep within himself, but he has a chip on his shoulder. He needs to prove not just to the world, but to himself, that he can and will compete against the best athletes in the world! That he deserves to carry the title! That he deserves to be our NXT North American Champion! Fans fire up for that, but Wes says many have seen a bit of this fire from that “creeper” vid of him and HBK. And HBK made it clear Wes had four spots for four superstars to compete against him at Stand & Deliver. But wait, here comes DRAGON LEE! Speaking of one of the best from around the world…!
Dragon Lee joins Wes Lee in the ring and has the mic. “Wow, wow, wow. Thank you, all. Nice to meet you, Wes.” Wes says it’s nice to meet him. Dragon says that he came to NXT for the same reason as Wes. But to Dragon, Wes IS the best. But y’know what? Dragon LOVES the chaos! And at Stand & Deliver in LA, Dragon wants to part of that challenge against Wes. Wes says this is what he loves. Wes has followed Dragon’s career from Mexico to Japan, and has wondered what’d it be like if the two of them tangled. And when Dragon signed with NXT, Wes thought it’d be like six to eight months before they got to.
But everyone knows Wes is impatient! So let’s make it official! Dragon gets the first spot! See you in LA! But wait, here comes the Irish Ace! JD McDonagh is going to face Dragunov later tonight, but he says, “Look what it is! Wes Lee, Dragon Lee, the Lees putting each other over. It’s funny you two are running your mouths about the best in the world, I’m backstage warming up. So Dragon, you’re new here, I’ll give you a pass this week. But I suggest you grab a chair, sit your ass front row, and watch a grandmaster at work when I dismantle Ilja Dragunov.” Fans boo but JD tells Wes, “What’s your excuse?”
Wes’ excuse? What’s gonna be JD’s excuse after Ilja rips him apart? Fans fire up for that! JD steps into the ring, and he says Wes should count himself lucky that JD hasn’t had his eyes on that title. Because if he had, not only would Wes not be standing here with it, he wouldn’t be standing at all. But wait! Here comes the Czar! JD is here, so Dragunov isn’t gonna wait! Time for the grudge match! Will either man be left standing after this one?
NXT Anonymous has another video.
Whoever they are, they watch as Indi storms backstage and takes her frustrations out on a trash can. Then she gets mad at Zoey for smirking. Indi asks, “What the hell are you looking at?” Zoey says, “Definitely not the next NXT Women’s Champion.” Zoey heads off, is this the end of the road for #IndiWrestling in NXT?
Kiana James watches in the locker room.
She says that was a pretty good line from Zoey. Fallon Henley then walks in and Kiana mocks Indi for not making it to Stand & Deliver. But they are, tag champ! Isla Dawn & Alba Fyre don’t stand a chance- Enough, Kiana. She knows what’s going on here. Fallon, don’t worry, Kiana isn’t worried about the singles title. No, not that! Sebastian! Kiana’s eyes go wide, but then she denies even recognizing that name. Save it, Kiana. Fallon was in your office. What?! How’d she even get past security!? Fallon says that doesn’t matter, she saw the flowers and the card. Card? What? PROOF! Kiana freaks out again!
How can Kiana even sleep at night, cheating on Jensen!? Fallon knew better than to trust Kiana! Now she’s gonna go tell Jensen. Oh, yes, go run to Brooks and tell him. That’ll screw up EVERYTHING before the biggest match in their careers! But Jensen is family! Kiana may not care about him, but Fallon does! Fallon storms off, what can Kiana do to stop the truth from getting out?
Ilja Dragunov VS JD McDonagh!
NXT returns and the bell rings. These two fire off forearms and fists right away! Dragon watches ringside just like JD wanted as Dragunov ROCKS him! JD rebounds to ROCK Dragunov, but Dragunov rebounds to ROCK JD! They keep going back and forth, then Dragunov BOOTS JD! JD roars as he stays up, but Dragunov ENZIGURIS him down! Now Dragunov roars and fans fire up! Dragunov KNEES JD in the side again and again, then drags him up to CLUB him on the back! Fans rally up for that, “ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!” and Dragunov CLUBS JD again! Dragunov then whips JD to a corner, runs in, but JD slips out!
Dragunov knees the buckles, and JD trips him to slingshot TORNILLO SPLASH! Dragon is impressed, but fans boo as JD throws down forearms. Dragunov gets away to a corner, but JD storms up to COHP! JD digs his knee into Dragunov, the ref counts, and JD lets off at 4. Fans boo but JD brings Dragunov up to short arm LARIAT! Dragunov flounders, JD covers, TWO! JD drags Dragunov up to snap suplex! Cover, TWO! Dragunov gets away to ropes but JD stomps him. JD drags Dragunov up to wrench, but Dragunov breaks free and trips JD! JD avoids the falling forearm, and the backhand! Dragunov avoids the headbutts!
The forearm start flying again, and both men DECK each other! Fans are thunderous for “NXT! NXT!” and Dragon nods his respect. JD and Dragunov go forehead to forehead, and JD SLAPS! Dragunov SLAPS! It is a SLAP fight! Fans are thunderous again as the SLAPS keep going! JD swings, misses, GERMAN SUPLEX! Dragunov drags JD back up, but JD throws elbows. Dragunov still GERMAN SUPLEXES! Fans want that ‘ONE MORE TIME!” so Dragunov drags JD back up. JD fights the waistlock, pries it free to switch and shove, but Dragunov hits the CONSTANTINE SPECIAL! Both men are down and the fans are thunderous again!
Dragunov drags JD to a cover, TWO! “This is Awesome!” as Dragunov stands back up. Dragunov runs in to KNEE JD in the corner, then puts him down. Dragunov goes up, KNEE DROP! Dragunov roars and goes back up top! But JD stands to ROCK Dragunov! And CHOP! JD climbs up, but Dragunov fights back with body shots! Dragunov HEADBUTTS JD away, then adjusts. JD comes back to grab hair! JD THROWS Dragunov off the top! Fans boo and JD brings Dragunov up to throw him into ropes! Dragunov flops out of the ring and fans boo more while NXT goes picture in picture.
JD grins as he watches Dragunov down on the floor. Dragunov sputters and stirs but JD goes out after him. JD drags Dragunov up for an APRON BACK SUPLEX! Dragunov flounders away, JD hurries in, and he drops an AX HANDLE! Cover, TWO! JD kicks at Dragunov, but Dragunov eggs him on. JD stands Dragunov to ROCK him! Dragunov CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! But then his arm gives up! JD hits a BIG DDT!! Dragunov tumbles over his own head and neck! The ref checks him, he’s somehow okay to continue but he’s shaking. JD stands Dragunov up to whip him hard into the corner!
Dragunov falls to the mat, JD drags him to a cover, TWO! JD grows frustrated with Dragunov, and he clamps on a facelock. JD grinds Dragunov down, Dragunov fights up, and Dragunov pries free to wrench the arm. JD KNEES Dragunov low! Dragunov falls and clutches his gut, but JD stalks him to ropes. JD wrenches an arm, to hit an atomic BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Dragunov is still in this but JD keeps his focus. JD stomps Dragunov around, digs his boot in, and then gets the arm. JD steps through for a standing leg hook nelson! Dragunov endures as JD puts on more pressure, and NXT returns to single picture.
Fans rally, Dragunov bridges up against the hold, but JD just pushes him back down. JD straightens out the arm like an armbar, but Dragunov still fights. Dragunov has turned this into a STRETCH MUFFLER! Now JD endures and flails for the ROPEBREAK! Dragunov lets go at 4 and fans rally up. JD PENALTY KICKS Dragunov in the back! JD drags Dragunov up for Kawada Kicks! And then a SLAP! But Dragunov kips up, only for JD to duck the Pele! JD fires off more Kawada Kicks, but Dragunov HEADBUTTS! JD HEADBUTTS, but Dragunov kips up to PELE!! Fans are thunderous as both men are down again!
JD and Dragunov slowly rise, and fans hope they “FIGHT FOREVER!” This has to end somehow, and Dragunov rains down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Dragunov puts JD in a corner to CHOP him! And then stalks him to another corner, to CHOP him! Dragunov shoves JD to a corner, JD ducks the chop to ELBOW back! But Dragunov stands up to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! JD pie faces Dragunov, but that just pisses Dragunov off! MACHINE GUN CHOPS!! Dragunov stops but he brings JD in to waistlock and SIDE SLAM! Cover, TWO!! JD survives but Dragunov holds on!
“This is Awesome!” as Dragunov drags JD back up. JD fights to ropes, that HOTSHOTS Dragunov, and JD brings Dragunov in! POWERBOMB! High stack, TWO!! But JD holds on with a waistlock of his own. JD drags Dragunov up to GERMAN SUPLEX! JD still holds on, they stand again, for another GERMAN SUPLEX! JD lets go, and Dragunov just rises up! Dragunov swings, into another GERMAN SUPLEX! But Dragunov is up to ROUNDHOUSE JD down!! Fans give a standing ovation as both men fall! Dragunov staggers his way to a corner, and he shouts, “UN! BE! SIEG! BAR!!” TORPEDO- NO!! Takedown into body scissors!
Fans shout “NO! NO! NO!” but Dragunov fights the Irish Twister to rain down fists! JD kicks Dragunov away but Dragunov comes back, LEAPING FOREARM!!! Fans cheer “This is Wrestling!” as both men bail out. They SLAP and SLAP and SLAP! They both grab hair, and they tumble into Dragon Lee!! Dragon is pissed, but JD JABS him for the hell of it! Only for Dragunov to swing! JD dodges, the BACKHAND hits Dragon!! Dragon is FURIOUS, he fires hands on them both!!
Fans go nuts as we get a brawl between all three men! But then WES LEE FLIES IN!! The Cardiac Kid helps Dragon fight against Dragunov and JD! Refs rush in to stop this brawl, but fans want to “LET THEM FIGHT!” Will the only way to settle any of this be at Stand & Deliver?
Trick Melo Gang finds Bron Breakker backstage.
Melo tells Bron that he and Trick didn’t need Bron to handle Pretty Deadly, or to be in the tag match with Pretty Deadly. This isn’t that “Can they coexist?” crap! Bron doesn’t want that, either! The Melo that Bron wants to face at Stand & Deliver is the best Melo. They said it last week that they have an opportunity to make something special happen at Stand & Deliver. So Bron isn’t gonna let two clowns, i.e. Pretty Deadly… Though, Trick Melo Gang, too… Screw it up. What’s Bron mean by that? Well, Trick is always up to something. Trick says he’s up to nothing. He just wanted Bron to share the ring with the future NXT Champion.
Oh, is that so? Melo has Bron leave Trick alone. Bron wants the best possible Stand & Deliver, and so does Melo. Then let’s finish this. Good. Big tag match tonight. Nice doing business with you. Trick Melo Gang leaves, but will they be leaving the arena in one piece?
Backstage interview with Wes Lee.
McKenzie can tell Wes is riled up after that brawl. It seems chaos follows him everywhere. Wes admits, he threw himself to the fire on this one. But Ilja and JD will never be done with each other. But the last two weeks, JD has gotten in Wes’s face and Wes is sick and tired of it! So JD gets the second spot. And Ilja is Europe’s finest. The only way to put that to the test: he gets the third stop! So that leaves one spot left. Who will it be? Axiom walks in and says if there’s room for one more…
Wes knows Axiom wants this and he has been close so many times. But there are still so many others to consider. And Wes wants to give everyone a fair shot, sot he only way to do that, “the chaos continues. We’re about to have ourselves a battle royal, y’all! And the winner gets the fourth and final spot.” axiom says that’s fine. He just wanted a chance, and now he has it. Will the Undeniable Truth be undeniable in that chaotic Battle Royal next week?
Johnny Gargano is here!
Fans fire up for the Rebel Heart, as- Wait. That’s not Johnny Wrestling! That’s JAVIER BERNAL!! Big Body Javi just trolled everyone! “When that music hit, you all thought Johnny Gargano was coming out. But you were wrong! Hah! Just like I thought I was going to Stand & Deliver, the biggest event of the year. But I was wrong. And you know who’s to blame for that? JOHNNY GARGANO!” Johnny took Javi’s spot! Who the hell does Johnny think he is? He’s been gone for 6, 8, 10, 12 months! Has he not been watching NXT while he was away? Javi s the heart and soul of NXT! He has been busting his ass for seven YEARS! Well, no, months.
But what does Johnny have that Javi doesn’t? Johnny Wrestling? No, Big Body Javi is better! Javi would take himself over Gargano every day of the week! How many Christmas albums does Gargano have? NONE! And between the two of them, they’re Triple Crown Champion! *All Johnny. But HBK, Javi says you chose the wrong guy! Wait, here comes the REAL Johnny Wrestling! Fans fire up as Gargano goes right to the ring and he CLOBBERS Javi! Fans fire up more as Gargano TOSSES Javi out! Then RAMS him into barriers! And then RAMS him into steel steps! And then TOSSES him over the barriers!
Fans cheer on Johnny and he grabs himself a mic. “Grayson! Grayson! Grayson Waller! I know you’re somewhere around here, I know you’re listening. You wanna make things personal? You wanna raise the stakes? Let’s raise the stakes. In my hand is a contract for a type of match I know very, very, very well. April 1st, Stand & Deliver, Grayson Waller VS Johnny Gargano… in an UNSANCTIONED MATCH!! No rules! Anything goes! No one is liable for what I do to you. Grayson, all you have to do is come down here and sign it.” But Waller is here via tron. Fired up tonight, huh? Seems he feels better than when he was down and out on his own front lawn.
Waller gets it, Gargano is upset. But an Unsanctioned match? Does Gargano wanna embarrass himself on the biggest stage in NXT? That’s too far, even for Gargano. Not far enough! Come and sign this! Waller says if Gargano thinks he’s going down to that ring, he’s crazy. But Waller will let Gargano give that contract to Vic Joseph so Waller can sign it next week. And, it has to be on one condition: Gargano is BANNED from the building next week. If Waller whiffs even a bit of Gargano, he’s not signing and no one gets what they want. Gargano says if that gets Waller to do it, deal! Gargano gives Vic the contract to hold on to.
Gargano sees Javi get back up and in, and SUPERKICKS him down! Johnny Wrestling wants to unleash everything on Waller, but will he come to regret throwing away all the rules?
There is a moonlight ritual going on.
“There is more to us than you think. I appreciate the significance of my heritage, but I must carry the responsibility of progression. I will hold my people up, and lead the way forward.” Eddy Thorpe is ready to level up to NXT, next week!
Backstage interview with Ivy Nile.
McKenzie brings up how Tatum Paxley betrayed her last week, and can only imagine how devastated she must be. Ivy says she was surprised, just like everyone else. It took her a long time to trust someone like she did Tatum. She let her guard down, and got burned. Tatum is a little “out there,” so the rest of Diamond Mine let her do her. But they thought she was part of the team. So for Tatum to say they weren’t a team, that hurts. But tonight isn’t about Tatum. Tonight, Ivy has an opportunity. If she beats Lyra, Ivy goes to Stand & Deliver and possibly becomes NEW NXT Women’s Champion. Not even Tatum can ruin that.
Hank Walker speaks.
“Everyone’s journey is unique, and mine’s been one hell of a ride.” Security guard turned superstar, but he’s been an athlete his whole life, and was even a three-year starting offensive lineman at North Carolina State. But no sport could’ve prepared him for the WWE. There have been ups and downs, he’s made friends, found a mentor in Drew Gulak only to be abandoned by Drew Gulak. Gulak and Charlie Dempsey don’t see it. They say Hank’s not cut out for this, but he’s gonna work his ass off to prove them wrong. All he needs is himself, and all he needs to do is keep evolving. That is what NXT is all about.
Drew Gulak & Charlie Dempsey are watching.
Gulak mockingly calls that promo “cute.” Dempsey says that’s one way of putting it. Walker still lacks the killer instinct. Exactly! A teacher can only the door, but it is up to the student to see it through. That’s why Hank will be nothing more than “another nice guy.” The technicians have a laugh, but will Hank prove them all wrong?
NXT Women’s Championship Qualifier: Lyra Valkyria VS Ivy Nile!
The Morrigan and the Diamond Pitbull are going to fight tooth and nail to take that fourth spot in the ladder match! Will Lyra fly higher than the mountains to get that golden ticket? Or will Ivy move mountains to go to Hollywood?
NXT returns and Lyra makes her entrance. The bell rings and the two circle. They feel things out, tie up, and Lyra wrangles Ivy down then Oklahoma Rolls and turns it into an O’Conner Roll! TWO, and Lyra hurries up to go after a leg. Ivy blocks, facelocks, rolls and steps over to flip Lyra over! Cover, ONE! Ivy keeps on the arm but Lyra rolls free. Ivy TACKLES Lyra, drags her back, but Lyra rolls to her feet. Lyra trips Ivy, has a toehold, but Ivy pries her down to an ARMBAR! Lyra clasps hands, Ivy stomps her! They get up, Lyra headbutts low! And KICKS! Ivy grits her teeth but Lyra tells her she’s not gonna stand in her way. Ivy just KICKS Lyra back!
Ivy eggs Lyra on, so Lyra KICKS! Ivy KICKS back, but Lyra scowls. DOUBLE ROUNDHOUSES bring both women down! Fans fire up and we see Tatum watching backstage. Ivy gets a leg, Lyra blocks to hook the arms but Ivy fights the backslide! Ivy spins around, gut wrenches Lyra to SLAM! Cover, TWO! Ivy keeps cool, and she kicks, but Lyra ducks to kip up and ENZIGURI! Fans fire up and Lyra roars! SOBAT! Front kick! HEADBUTT! BOOT! Lyra then reels Ivy in, but Ivy blocks the lift! Ivy facelocks, to snap suplex! Fans rally up, Ivy runs in to CALF KICK her to a corner! Then DIAMOND DRAGON!!
Lyra flails, climbs the corner and goes up and over! GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans rally up again, Lyra HEEL KICKS Ivy down! Cover, Lyra wins!!
Winner: Lyra Valkyria, by pinfall (advances to Stand & Deliver)
The Morrigan breaks through Diamond Mine’s female titan, and now she is going to Stand & Deliver! But will she reach the highest point in the NXT Women’s Division by becoming champion?
Fallon Henley looks for Jensen.
But as she looks, Isla Dawn’s laugh echoes through the hall, and there’s a flash of lightning and crack of thunder! And Alba Fyre CLOBBERS her! Fyre & Dawn mug Fallon and mockingly ask where her friend went. But Kiana runs in to fire off on them! The champs fight back against their challengers, refs rush in but Fallon sends Fyre into the wall! Isla talks trash on Kiana, she and Fyre slip away. Kiana and Fallon regroup, and Kiana says that she can’t tell Jensen. Kiana has to be the one. Fallon agrees to that. Will Kiana let Jensen down gently? Will the team be able to stick together against the Wicked Witches of NXT?
NXT Media catches Wes Lee on his way out.
They ask him who he thinks will win next week’s battle royal. Wes says he doesn’t think you can predict something like that. Just sit back, relax, and watch as it unfolds. Just like he plans on doing, and just like he knows all the fans will do. But then Jinder Mahal walks over to say he will see Wes at Stand & Deliver. And then Dijak walks over to say, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you.” And then Dabba-Kato walks up with a big smile. There is no one that will stop him in this battle royal. Wes can’t even. But three of the biggest and baddest are throwing their names into the hat, will any of those giants be the winner?
It’s the NXT Great Debate!
Blake Howard welcomes us as this debate’s mediator, as the crowd is clearly divided between Chase U students and Schism loyalists. These two groups argue they have the better teaching method here in NXT. First up, Rip Fowler and Duke Hudson. “How has your group approached the topic of inclusion?” The first turn goes to Rip. Rip says “Togetherness has always been the founding principle of The Schism. Whilst others hide behind their masks, we have removed ours and prospered together. Duke Hudson, Ava presented you with a gift. An opportunity to remove your mask of phony school spirit, and the Schism will welcome you with open arms.”
Duke’s rebuttal: “Um… Yeah. I mean, Ava did give me a mask. I dunno. Our university has passion. It gave me a sense of belonging, right? It’s nice to feel included in things, I guess. That’s what I think about inclusion.” Andre Chase facepalms at the lack of enthusiasm and commitment from Duke. WTF, man? Thea and Ava are next. “How does your group make you feel safe?” Ava says “The world is a harsh and uninviting place. But I rest comfortably in loving arms, knowing that there is safety under The Schism’s tree. Andre Chase University offers a false sense of security made up of cement walls.
“But The Schism raises invisible walls that block out the world’s negativity, and allows our minds and bodies to wander freely beyond.” Thea’s rebuttal: With a motormouth pace, she says “Webster’s Dictionary defines ‘safety’ as the condition of being safe from hurt, injury, or loss. Protection from hurt, injury and loss come from healing! And I’ve learned a lot of methods of healing through the connections I’ve made at Chase University. The Schism, while claiming safety, brainwash you into believing in safety, and that is hazardous to the mind, body and soul. Thank you, good night.” Chase high-fives Thea on the rebound. Where’d that come from? She doesn’t know, she blacked out.
And thirdly, Professor Andre and Joe Gacy. “How would you rate the preparedness of the other members of your group to leave the nest?” Andre is given the first turn, but Gacy interrupts! “Mr. Chase, your students already answered that for you. They are not prepared! A marble-mouthed doubter, and a reprogrammed wind-up toy? They don’t know which way is up! Moderator, tally the scores.” But then TYLER BATE appears! He apologizes for his tardiness, but he steps forward to say his part. Chase allows it, as does the moderator. That means Bate and Jagger Reed have a showdown!
“How would you sum up the experience of your group?” Jagger says, “It’s simple. Four roots. One tree.” The audience even gets involved on that one. Bate’s rebuttal: “I can objectively say that to excel in NXT, it takes more than just physical prowess inside the squared circle. It takes a big strong mind, open to new ideas. To collaborate and learn, with a willingness to listen to what others have to say, just as they would for you. Now, the Chase University experience is one of growth and constant evolution. It’s ignited a career in Thea Hail, rejuvenated Duke Hudson, and fortified Andre Chase himself!
“Now, the growth of Chase University IS the growth of NXT! And that’s something that The Schism has never and will never achieve!” Chase U’s student section cheers that! Chase thanks Bate for that. And now that they’ve beaten The Schism down philosophically, it is time they beat The Schism down physically! A match! The Schism VS Chase U & Bate in a Mixed 8 Tag at Stand & Deliver! And in Hollywood, they will give The Schism an Andre Chase University sized ass kicking!! Gacy says NO! The Dyad beat Chase U as a team, and Gacy beat Chase 1v1. The Schism is far superior physically and philosophically. There’s nothing left to gain here.
Duke says they’ll put up the school. What? Yeah, Duke, what? You heard him. Winner gets control of Chase University. Then they’re on. Chase is unsure, but this could be Duke’s high stakes gambling past coming back to haunt him. Will Chase U come out of Hollywood with nothing?
NXT checks back in with the bar.
Everything’s a bit hazy, but Gallus, the Creeds, The Don and Underboss have made it through the night. Look at the time! This has been great, but Tony & Stacks have a thing to take care of. Nice place they found here. Might need a broom, though. Julius says, “Don’t you guys know a cleaning service?” Tony snatches his hat off Julius’ head, and says yeah, they do. But not the kind you’re thinking of. Brutus says that was fun. Wolfgang slurs and stammers as he says, “Why’s it gotta stop?” Cuz the Creeds got what they came for, and then some. Then let’s bring the fun to Stand & Deliver. Triple Threat Tag! See you boys in LA.
Oh, and don’t forget to tip the bartender. Gallus is in the best shape out of these boys, but will they still be standing tall after Stand & Deliver?
BREAKING NEWS for next week!
There will be still one more spot in the NXT Women’s Championship Ladder match! And in a Last Chance Triple Threat, it will be Sol Ruca VS Ivy Nile VS Indi Hartwell! Who will redeem themselves on the Road to WrestleMania to still have their shot at the title?
Bron Breakker & Carmelo Hayes w/ Trick Williams VS Pretty Deadly!
The NXT Champion and his challenger may not like Trick’s idea of a team-up, but if it means shutting up Kit & Elton, they’ll do it. Will Bron & Melo body slam the hosts of Stand & Deliver once again? Or will this be about “Can the coexist?” in the end after all?
The teams sort out and Elton rushes in! Melo dodges, but then Kit CLOBBERS Melo! Kit covers, ONE!! Kit drops a knee, talks trash, then runs, but Melo drops, hurdles and ducks! DROPKICK! Then arm-drags! Melo has the armlock, fans rally but Kit arm-drags, only for Melo to arm-drag right back! But that just puts them closer to the Pretty Deadly corner! Elton tags in, Kit holds Melo in place, and Elton runs to UPPERCUT Melo! Elton then brings Melo out to UPPERCUT Melo down. Melo bails out, Elton kicks him from the apron, and Pretty Deadly go after Melo together. But Bron storms over to keep them from throwing Melo into steel steps.
Bron says Pretty Deadly isn’t going to ruin Stand & Deliver. Pretty Deadly lets off of Melo, but then Kit CLUBS Melo on the back. Kit puts Melo in the ring, covers, TWO! Kit drags Melo up, wrenches, but Melo wrenches back and snapmares to PENALTY KICK! Melo runs, but Kit FLAPJACKS! Tag to Elton, he sucker punches Bron, then Pretty Deadly coordinate. “Yes, boy~!” Pretty Deadly both run, but Bron gets in so that he and Melo can stare Pretty Deadly down. Pretty Deadly look to each other, then they throw hands! The brawl is on and both Bron and Melo get the edge. Then they decide to work together!
Bron helps Melo with the SPRINGBOARD LARIAT! Melo flies over Kit to CLOBBER Elton! Bron then RANAS Kit out of the ring! Fans fire up with the champion and his challenger, but they bump into each other. Bron offers handshake, Melo shows fist bump, so paper covers rock. No, man! Melo & Bron wait on Pretty Deadly and fans bark it up as NXT goes picture in picture.
Kit & Elton regroup on the other side of the ring, so Melo tags Bron. Bron waits on someone, but Kit distracts and Elton runs in to CLOBBER Bron! Elton CLUBS Bron, wrenches an arm, but Bron wrenches back. Tag to Melo, he goes up and drops AX HANDLES on the arm! Melo CHOPS Elton to a corner, wrenches and brings him back, tag to Bron. Bron goes up and he drops AX HANDLES! Bron wrenches Elton, but Elton throws body shots. Elton headlocks, Bron powers out, things speed up and Bron hurdles, to then catch Elton for a SPINEBUSTER! Bron rolls through to fireman’s carry!
Bron pops Elton up to a suplex! Bron walks around with Elton and even Melo is impressed. Bron then SLAMS Elton, and he dares Kit to do something. Kit talks trash, steps inside, and Bron DECKS him! But Elton CLOBBERS Bron again! Elton CLUBS Bron, whips him to ropes, but Bron ducks ‘n’ dodges, only to run into a FLAPJACK onto ropes! Elton tags Kit, then Elton anchors Bron so Kit can drop the ELBOW! Cover, TWO! Kit runs to KNEE Bron in the side! And then he runs to KNEE Bron again! Bron goes to the apron but Kit drags him back in. Kit wrenches the arm as NXT returns to single picture.
Fans rally as Bron endures, and Bron fights up. Kit CLUBS Bron down, grinds the arm again, then grabs the other arm for a motorcycle stretch. Bron endures, fights up, but Kit knees low. Kit facelocks, Elton goes up the corner, but Melo GAMANGIRIS Elton down! Bron blocks the buckle bump to elbow Kit! Kit tags Elton, Bron dodges Kit, tag to Melo! Melo hurdles Elton to DECK Kit! Melo dodges Elton to springboard LARIAT! Fans fire up, Melo BOOTS Elton! Kit grabs Melo but Melo wrenches an arm to drag Kit over, slingshot suplex onto Elton! Cover, TWO! Fans rally behind Melo as he stalks Elton.
Melo brings Elton up to ROCK him and whip, but Elton reverses. Elton hurdles, Kit reels Melo in for a DDT! Elton hurries to cover, TWO! Elton drags Melo up to UPPERCUT him back down! Elton stalks Melo to ropes, he UPPERCUTS Melo again, then puts him in the corner. Elton stomps away but lets off as the ref counts. Elton poses, storms back up, but Melo kicks low! And kicks again! Kit tags in, he and Elton stomp Melo. Fans rally as Pretty Deadly double whip, and double shoulder! “Yes, boy!” SPLASH LEG DROP COMBO! Cover, TWO! Kit drops a leg of his own, then drags Melo from Bron.
Kit talks trash, stands Melo up, and ROCKS him! Kit runs in to UPPERCUT Melo! And DECK him with a right! Kit YANKS Melo into a BOMB! Cover, TWO! Melo kicks back from below but Kit CLOBBERS him! Trick coaches Melo but Kit clamps on a chinlock. Melo endures, fans rally up, and Melo fights up. Melo throws body shots, but Kit CLOBBERS him! Tag to Elton, and he stomps away on Melo! Fans boo as Elton drops an AX HANDLE! Cover, TWO! Elton drags Melo away from Bron and stays between them. Elton drags Melo up but Melo ROCKS him! Elton shoves Melo but Melo sunset flips on the rebound! TWO, and Elton CLOBBERS Melo! Cover, TWO!!
Trick and Bron coach Melo up and fans rally. Elton drags Melo up, but Melo ROCKS Elton! Elton ROCKS Melo, Melo ROCKS Elton, and then Melo ROCKS Elton again! Elton keeps Melo from Bron, but Melo breaks free, only to miss his enziguri! But Melo BOOTS Elton away! Hot tags to Kit and Bron! Bron rallies on Pretty Deadly! BIG shoulder tackle for Kit! Haymaker for Elton! GERMAN SUPLEX for Kit! GERMAN SUPLEX for Elton! Kit fires hands with Bron, Kit whips, but Bron ducks ‘n’ dodges to CLOBBER Kit! Fans fire up and Bron grins. Bron drags Kit up in a waistlock, to GERMAN SUPLEX!!
The straps come down, fans fire up with Bron, but Bron climbs up the corner. Fans bark it up, and Bron FLYING BULLDOGS! Cover, Elton breaks it! Melo hurries in to ROCK Elton and BOOT him! Elton flops into the ropes, Kit stands, and Bron runs in! Kit sends Bron at Melo!! Melo goes up the corner and Bron pulls up, avoiding the collision! But Elton struggling in the ropes distracts the ref, Melo hits a CODE BREAKER on Kit! Bron SPEARS Kit down!! Fans fire up as Bron tags Melo to give him the last shot. Melo with NOTHING BUT NET!! Cover, Melo & Bron win!
Winners: Bron Breakker & Carmelo Hayes, by pinfall
Melo don’t miss, and Trick finishes taking notes on Bron. Melo fetches the belt, but hands it over to Bron. Will the game plan be ready so that Melo becomes him? Or will nothing break the Big Booty Nephew?
A really good NXT here, and a lot of quick developments for Stand & Deliver. I do appreciate the consistency of tag teams challenging Gallus for the tag titles through bar games. Tony D & Stacks made their intentions known last week, so them confronting Gallus was expected, but The Creeds getting in on this was a surprise. The tag titles becoming a Triple Threat match is cool, but all three teams are essentially Faces. I’m sensing some kind of shenanigans brings one team around to be Heels, and it won’t be the Creeds. I would personally love it if was Gallus with Joe Coffey returning to help win. Gallus can’t truly be on top if they’re down a man.
Good stuff out of the NXT Women’s Championship story. Good match out of Tiffany VS Indi, and I figured Tiffany would win that. Gigi had a good promo to both address Jacy Jayne and the growing field, but also good promo from Tiffany to keep her character at that just insufferable level. Good promo from Ivy, decent one from Lyra, and good match, but not that strong of a match. I’m a bit torn, as this was a great opportunity for Ivy to even have this qualifier match, but honestly, it should’ve been Stevie Turner. Stevie was the one with that “randomizer” that chose to highlight Lyra, why not give us a match of those two? It’s not like Stevie’s actually busy streaming.
Good stuff out of the women’s tag title story, too. Kiana and Fallon were both great in talking about this Sebastian, and then I like the creativity of the ambush. Instead of lights out and teleporting in, or even just running in, Isla & Alba use fake lightning and thunder to disorient Fallon before the attack. Fighting Alba & Isla off was a decent way to bring Kiana and Fallon back onto the same page, and we’re going to get quite the moment next week in the go-home. And good promo from Hank Walker but also good promo from Gulak & Dempsey. Their story will have to wait until after Stand & Deliver, and could be something big for Spring Breakin’ 2023.
Javier swerving us was very clever, I did not think Javi would get in on this story. Good response from Gargano, and going right for Unsanctioned is nuts! No Disqualification, sure. No Holds Barred, sure. Last Man Standing even! But I guess this is all to represent how long Gargano’s stewed on his grudge for Waller, and how this escalated after Waller found the Gargano house. And given how Waller wants Gargano completely banned from the building next week, it’s so obvious Waller is going to threaten Vic physically, maybe even get physical with Vic, and Gargano can’t do anything about it, thereby adding more fuel to the fire.
Great stuff out of the North American Championship story, with a great promo from Wes and from Dragon Lee, and a good promo from JD ahead of his match with Dragunov. That match was awesome, as all the Dragunov VS JD matches have been, but I should’ve seen it coming that they’d end up colliding with Dragon Lee to bring this around into the North American title match. Wes VS Dragon VS JD VS Dragunov is awesome all on its own, but great move to have a battle royal to decide the fifth person in that match. Axiom has a good promo to let us know he’s gonna be in that match, but I also like that Jinder, Dijak and Dabba-Kato each had a couple lines to let Wes know they’re coming. Dijak’s had his shots, he surely won’t win. But Dabba is definitely a possibility.
Really good segment out of The Great Debate, and nice heroic appearance by Tyler Bate to help Chase U pull out the win. And just as I was hoping, we’re getting a Mixed 8 Tag, and this is going to be great stuff. Putting up the school, aka the faction in itself, is big stuff for Chase U, but I feel like the match could still go either way. And good stuff out of Pretty Deadly, Trick Melo Gang and Bron. The promo stuff was good for Pretty Deadly and Trick Melo Gang, and we got a really good match in the main event. But naturally Bron & Melo win because neither of them was going to suffer lost momentum this close to Stand & Deliver. I’m still voting for Melo winning the title and Bron being called up. After all, there’s a WWE Snickers commercial with Bron Breakker and AJ Styles, that feels like a sign.
My Score: 8.8/10
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