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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/13/23)

Raw gets Rated R!

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You Think You Know Me.

Raw prepares for WrestleMania, and the Rated R Superstar waits on Finn Balor to respond! Will Judgment Day come to Hollywood?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Johnny Gargano & Dexter Lumis w/ Candice LeRae VS Dominik Mysterio & Damian Priest w/ The Judgment Day; win.
  • Cody Rhodes VS LA Knight; Cody wins.
  • Elias w/ Rick Boogs VS Bronson Reed; Bronson wins.
  • Austin Theory VS Angelo Dawkins; Theory wins.
  • Seth Rollins VS Baron Corbin; Rollins wins.
  • Bianca Belair VS Chelsea Green w/ Carmella; Bianca wins.
  • Street Fight: Kevin Owens VS Solo Sikoa; Solo wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Edge is here!

Just as he promised last week, the Rated R Superstar returns because he wants to end this with The Judgment Day! Fans cheer Edge on as he gets the mic to say, “Providence, I gotta tell ya, that never gets old, that’s why I do this. Listen, I know why I’m here. Providence, y’all know why I’m here. So Finn Balor, get out here right now so we can finally be done with this.” And so the Judgment Day appears on the ramp! They all smirk at Edge but Finn has the mic to say, “Here I am, Edge! Finn Balor, live and in the flesh! And for once, I actually agree with all these clowns, I wanna hear what you have to say. So please, do us all a favor and spit it out.”

Edge tells Finn that’s the thing, Edge isn’t here to say anything. Edge wants to end this. But Finn is gonna hide way over there, right? And if Edge were to run up on Finn, he’d just send “Lurch, Pugsley and Wednesday” after him. And then it’s the same old song and dance for another week. But a few weeks ago, Finn challenged Edge to a match at WrestleMania. But since Finn isn’t man enough to step closer, FINE! Finn has his match! Did they hear that? Finn’s going to WrestleMania! And if Edge thinks the beating at Extreme Rules was bad- “SHUT YOUR MOUTH!! Now you can hear me talk!”

For the last year of Edge’s comeback, he’s wasted it with Judgment Day. And before that, he was in front of a bunch of TV screens in the ThunderDome. Edge does not have time for this. He needs to accomplish what he wants to do before he runs out of time. So Finn pulled Judgment Day out from under Edge, and then made them better. Edge can admit it. Because Finn leaned into what those three with him are: bitter, immature malcontents. This is a weird hybrid, like an “Irish-Mexican-Australian-Puerto-Rican” emo delight. A bougie drink you’d get at a hipster coffee joint, but it has worked.

Every other week, they’ve left Edge laying, and made him say two words he never thought he’d say in “I Quit.” But then they still bashed Beth with a Con-Chair-To. “For the last year, you have tried to make my life a living hell. And a lot of the time, you’ve accomplished it. So the way I see it, there’s only one way that this can end. At WrestleMania, Edge VS Finn Balor, INSIDE HELL IN A CELL!!” Fans fire up hearing that! Finn scowls, and he says, “Edge, I’ve been to Hell before, and it spit me out. Because Hell couldn’t handle my demons! I’ll see you at WrestleMania. But until then…” The Judgment Day rushes up after all!

Priest gets on the apron, he and Edge fire hands, then Dom goes after Edge! Rhea gets in on the mugging, fans boo, but here come THE WAY! Johnny Gargano leads Dexter Lumis and Candice LeRae out and they fight the Judgment Day! Rhea throws Candice out, Lumis hammers away on Dom, but Edge and Gargano go after Priest! The Judgment day was to face Gargano and Lumis at some point tonight, will that be after the break?

 

Johnny Gargano & Dexter Lumis w/ Candice LeRae VS Dominik Mysterio & Damian Priest w/ The Judgment Day!

Raw returns and indeed, this match is under way! Gargano rains down fists on Dom in the corner, goes way past ten, and then lets off as the ref counts. Fans fire up, Gargano kicks and CHOPS Dom, but Dom kicks and headlocks. Gargano powers out, but Dom runs him over! Dom runs, but Gargano trips him! Gargano runs, dodges Dom and arm-drags him, to then arm-drag again! Gargano fakes Dom out and Dom gets mad. Dom storms up but Gargano rolls him up, SCHOOL BOY KICK! Dom flounders, Rhea panics, and Gargano wrenches. Dom breaks free to tag in Priest. Fans boo but Gargano is game for this rematch.

Gargano and Priest talk some trash, but then Gargano looks to Lumis. Fans fire up and Gargano tags Lumis in! The Tortured Artist seems to creep even the Punisher out. They circle, tie up, and Priest wrenches to a wristlock. Lumis rolls, kips up and wrenches back to then wristlock in return. Priest wrenches back, headlocks, but Lumis powers out. Priest runs Lumis over and dusts himself off. Fans boo but Priest soaks up the heat. Priest runs, but Lumis kips right up! Priest shrugs it off but Gargano taunts Priest not to be scared. Priest kicks low then ROCKS Lumis, then fires off hands in the corner! Priest HEADBUTTS, then lets off.

Priest whips Lumis corner to corner hard, but fans chant “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Priest KICKS Lumis, whips him to ropes, but Lumis kicks back! Priest wobbles, into a DROPKICK! Priest falls out of the ring, he gets mad, and he runs back in, but into a drop toehold! Lumis floats to a facelock and he tags in Gargano. Lumis bumps Priest off Gargano’s boots, then Gargano wrenches. Priest ROCKS Gargano then dusts himself off. Fans boo but Priest scoops Gargano to SNAKE EYES in the corner! Rhea laughs, Priest tags Dom, and fans boo more as Dom rains down fists! Dom soaks up the heat as fans boo more.

Dom drags Gargano up, whips him corner to corner, then runs in, into KNEES! Gargano runs in to RAAN Dom away! Dom flops out of the ring, Gargano slingshots but Dom gets to the apron! Dom leaps, Gargano dodges and SUPERKICKS! Priest runs in, into an UPPERCUT from Lumis! Gargano then CANNONBALLS and takes out Priest and Dom! Providence fires up with The Way as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Gargano CHOPS Priest! And CHOPS again! Priest blocks the next chop to BELL CLAP! Priest then whips Gargano hard into the Judgement Day corner! Fans boo as Dom tags in but Dom stomps away on Gargano. Dom digs his boot into Gargano but the ref counts. Dom lets off, tags Priest back in, and Priest soaks up the heat. Priest sucker punches Lumis! Priest then runs to back elbow Gargano! Tag back to Dom, Priest hits BROKEN ARROW and Dom adds the SLINGSHOT SENTON! Cover, TWO! Rhea is furious about the count but Dom wraps Gargano up in a chinlock.

Fans rally for “Johnny Wrestling!” and Gargano fights up. Gargano throws forearms, but Dom knees low. Dom gives some Latino Heat, then hits Uno Amigo! And then Dos Amigos! Dom hits THREE AMIGOS and Rhea is happy. Cover, TWO! Rhea is furious again! Dom soaks up the heat, though, and he slaps Gargano around. Gargano stands, and he ROCKS Dom! And again! And again! But Dom ducks to dropkick Gargano onto ropes! Fans boo as Dom dials it up, but Gargano ducks the 619! Then SLINGSHOT SPEARS! Fans fire up while both men are down! Gargano and Dom crawl, hot tags to Priest and Lumis!

Fans fire up as Lumis fires off hands on Priest! Then he dodges a haymaker to hit a SPINEBUSTER! Dom runs in, into a SPINEBUSTER! Lumis runs to clothesline Priest in a corner, then he runs to clothesline Dom! BULLDOG for Dom! Priest kicks, misses, and Lumis hits a BIG back suplex! Kip up to leg drop! Cover, TWO! Lumis keeps on Priest, fireman’s carries, but Dom sneaks a tag! Priest slips free, but Lumis clotheslines him out! Dom GAMANGIRIS Lumis away, then sunset flips! High stack, with feet on the ropes! But Candice shoves those away! TWO!! Lumis and Dom DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!

Rhea storms up on Candice, but is sent into steps! Candice kicks, but into an Electric Chair! And a SLAM on the barrier! But then Rhea turns around to see Lumis staring at her! Rhea waves hi and blows a kiss, Priest CLOBBERS Lumis! Fans boo but Priest roars. Priest drags Lumis up and into the ring, and hits a COMPLETE SHOT! Tag to Dom and Dom goes up! FROG SPLASH! Cover, GARGANO BREAKS IT! Fans fire up as Rhea freaks out! Priest gets in, but Gargano ducks the heel kick to SUPERKICK! Gargano then builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit and Priest hits desk! But Dom WRECKS Gargano with a dropkick!

Dom hurries to get Lumis up, but Lumis slips free to clinch! THE SILENCE!!! Dom flails, but Priest hurries up! Hot tag, ROLLING ROUNDHOUSE! Choke grip, SOUTH OF HEAVEN!! Cover, the Judgment Day wins!

Winners: The Judgment Day, by pinfall

Rhea laughs and celebrates with Priest and her little Dom-Dom! The Eradicator is going after the Queen, the Prince is going to settle things with the Rated R Superstar, will WrestleMania be facing its Judgment Day?

 

Backstage interview with The Miz.

Cathy Kelley says we’re on the Road to WrestleMania, so she wants to ask the host of WrestleMania- Wait, Chad Gable hurries over. He asks if anyone’s seen Otis. The Miz says he literally just got here, so no. Miz doesn’t travel with hits pets like Gable does. If Gable is looking for his missing dog, put up flyers. Miz has to- SHOOSH! That’s actually a good idea, Gable will go do that. A thank yew! Gable heads out and Miz asks Cathy what she was going to ask. Right, Cathy wanted to know if the Miz was interested in having a cohost. PFFF! Right! Cohost. Is Cathy interested in the position? Well-

No, there is only one star big enough to host Mania, and- Wait! Now Damage CTRL is jumping Trish Stratus! She wants a comeback, so here it is! They throw her into trunks, CLUB her down, then SMACK her off more trunks! Bayley, Dakota Kai & Iyo Sky then TRIPLE BOOT her down! Refs rush over to stop them but the damage is done. Will the star-studded Six Woman Tag now be in question after what we just saw?

 

Omos & MVP head to the ring.

The Nigerian Giant and his manager are here in person, because they’re going to be face-to-face with Brock Lesnar! Will the ring still be standing after Omos stands up to The Beast?

Raw returns and MVP has the mic to tell Brock Lesnar, “You are a brilliant athlete but a terrible tactician. You made a critical era in putting your hands on me a couple of weeks ago. But the worst, the biggest mistake you’ve ever made in your career was accepting a match against the 7’3″, 416 pound Nigerian Giant, Omos, at WrestleMania. Brock, I want you to understand-” WAIT! Here comes the pain! Fans fire up as Lesnar makes his way to the ring! Lesnar takes a quick lap, then takes off his cowboy hat and gets in the ring. Lesnar seems rather impressed seeing Omos in person. Fans are losing their minds seeing this moment, too!

Lesnar steps up to Omos, seeing he comes up to Omos’ shoulders, and then Omos raises his massive hand. Omos compares the fist to Lesnar’s face. Lesnar is again impressed. Omos offers a handshake, but fans chant for “SUPLEX CITY!” Lesnar shakes hands with Omos, but then Omos doesn’t let go! So Lesnar hits Omos low! Omos elbows Lesnar back and puts on a VICE GRIP! Omos shoves Lesnar up and out of the ring! Lesnar manages to land on his feet, and Omos says “This is MY house!” Fans boo, refs rush out to keep this from escalating, but Lesnar says it’s alright. He just needs his hat back.

A producer gives Lesnar his hat back, and Omos wants Lesnar to come back for more. Lesnar tips his hat and then leaves. Is the Beast intimidated? Or is he simply going to bide his time and plan on how to bring down the Nigerian Giant?

 

Cody Rhodes VS LA Knight!

The American Nightmare has a lot on his plate with the coming battle against Roman Reigns, but he’s taking on someone with a really big mouth! The Mega Star talked a lot online, but will he back it up against Cody? Or will Knight be speechless after taking on a fired up Cody Rhodes?

Raw returns and LA Knight makes his entrance. The bell rings, the two circle, and fans rally up. Cody and Knight tie up, go around, and fans rally for Cody but Knight puts him in a corner. Knight lets off, but then sucker punches Cody! Knight ROCKS Cody again, whips him to ropes, but Cody reverses to arm-drag Knight! Cody twists the wrist, brings Knight up and wrenches, but Knight reaches for ropes. Cody keeps Knight away from the ropes, but Knight wrenches back. Cody wrenches again, ducks the haymaker and he DECKS Knight! Cody wrenches Knight, hammerlocks, headlocks, but Knight pulls hair!

The ref reprimands but Knight puts Cody in a corner. Knight lets off at 4, but Cody shoves him away. The two talk some trash, Cody counter punches Knight! Cody shoves Knight, dodges him, then waistlocks. Knight switches, Cody trips Knight, then Cody runs to KNEE Knight down! Cover, TWO! Knight bails out but Cody builds speed! Cody DIVES, into a HAYMAKER! Knight drags Cody right out of the ring, but Cody blocks the barrier bump to bump Knight off barriers first! Cody storms up after Knight but Knight SMACKS Cody’s arm off the post! Fans boo but Knight soaks up heat. Cody RAMS Knight into steel steps!

Cody SMACKS Knight’s arm off the steps, SMACKS it off the post, then puts Knight in the ring. Cody goes up but Knight springs up after him! SUPERPLEX! Fans fire up while both men are down and Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Cody fights a suplex. Cody suplexes Knight, holds him up, but Knight rakes the eyes! Knight then kicks and DDTs Cody down! Cover, TWO! Cody is still in this but Knight pie faces him around. Knight says, “You just thought I’d be practice, huh?” Knight wraps on a chinlock and he grinds Cody down. Fans rally, Cody fights his way up, and Cody pries the hold open! But Knight knees Cody low! Knight runs, but Cody blocks the kick to spin him, run and CLOBBER him! Cody then drops and RHODES UPPERCUTS! Cody goes to a corner, Knight runs in, but Cody goes up and over! Knight bounces off buckles, into the POWERSLAM!

Cody fires up and the fans are with him! Knight rises, Cody runs and springboards, BEAUTIFUL DISASTER! Cover, TWO! Knight survives but fans rally behind Cody. Cody runs and springboards again, but Knight catches him to a waistlock! SUPLEX SIDE SLAM! Cover, TWO! Knight grows frustrated, he cravats but Cody powers out! Cody dodges, goes up and up, SUPER CODY CUTTER! Fans fire up with Cody again and Knight staggers around. Cody dragon sleepers, for the CROSS RHODES!! Cover, Cody wins!

Winner: Cody Rhodes, by pinfall

The American Nightmare beats the Knight, but he isn’t done! Cody gets the mic to say, “I keep hearing these warnings from Mr. Heyman that I should stay out of Bloodline business. Well I reiterated, I do not work for the Bloodline, and I don’t work for Mr. Heyman. So if I wanna come out here, stand side by side with Sami Zayn, I can do that. If I wanna come out here and fight alongside Kevin Owens, I can do that! And I also hear Mr. Heyman say, ‘Don’t make this personal.’ Don’t make it personal? What a joke! It has been personal since I first appeared on this show at 21 years old in front of these same cameramen!

“It’s personal when week after week, I’m choked up, fighting back tears with every sentence. It’s personal when you wear a protective coat of armor, and I’m not talking about my robe. I’m talking about a tailored suit. And the reason I wear it is not because I think I am somebody. The reason I wear it is because I wanna be somebody. Mr. Heyman talking about acknowledging Roman Reigns? I acknowledge you, dammit. You need to acknowledge me! I am not perfect, but my time since I came back to the WWE has been perfect. I am undefeated. I grew up thinking that I was a prince in this industry.

“And I’ve got no crown, no chip, no Master Sword, no Undisputed WWE Universal Championship. And on April 2nd… When the sun goes down on Hollywood, it is going down on Roman Reigns’ generational run. On April 2nd, it’s not just those who’ve got the Rhodes and the Runnels blood pumping through their veins. It’s every single person who has followed me until the end! On April 2nd, I have waited my whole life, I will wait no more! On April 2nd, Roman Reigns, I pin you, I stick you in this ring, and I become the first Rhodes to say he is the Undisputed WWE Universal Champion!!” The American Nightmare is ready, will he live the dream in Hollywood?

 

Backstage interview with Seth Rollins.

Byron Saxton asks The Visionary his reaction to Logan Paul knocking him out with a sucker punch. “Logan~. Logan~! HAHAHA!” Last week, Logan acted like he won the lottery! And why? Because he DID! He landed the shot of a lifetime right on Rollins’ chinny chin chin! But if there’s one thing we’ve learned about Rollins these last two years is that you can’t keep him down. And so next time Logan Paul and- Miz walks in. “Seth, Seth, Seth.” “BOO!” Miz gets spooked and says Rollins is just jealous that Logan knocked him out with one punch. Face it, Seth, you lost control of the narrative.

But what would Miz know? Except that he is the host of WrestleMania and he gets privileged information! For example, next week on Monday, Logan Paul conducts a live, WWE edition of ImPAULsive TV! And Miz also knows that he is expected as a guest. But then Baron Corbin walks in. His schedule cleared up, he’s available. Uh, sorry, Logan is all booked up. Then maybe with WrestleMania being two nights, Miz has a lot to do, he could use a cohost. They could take things over! Rollins laughs at that idea nd Miz says he has a lot of pull of Mania. But not that much pull. Oh, okay…

Then Rollins! Logan knocked you out, but Corbin’s a three-time Golden Gloves winner! Corbin can train you in boxing! Rollins tells Corbin that he appreciates the offer, he knows Corbin is going through some tough times. But to be honest, Rollins would rather learn boxing from his baby daughter. Aw c’mon! Corbin is trying here! And Rollins’ daughter is two years old! She doesn’t know anything! Rollins is lucky Corbin isn’t facing him, because Corbin would knock him out even faster than Logan did, and he’d take Rollins’ WrestleMania spot. Oh, really? Because that sounds like a challenge! Lucky for Providence, Rollins is in a fighting mood!

Let’s make it official! Rollins VS Corbin, tonight! See you out there! HAHAHAHAHA! Miz is intrigued. If Corbin handles Rollins, Miz will clear things with Logan. Corbin has a deal. Will the Lone Wolf finally get something to go his way tonight? Or will he just be an example to Logan of what Rollins is capable of?

 

Elias w/ Rick Boogs VS Bronson Reed!

The Drifter has been trying to teach the rowdy rocker a thing or two, but he might be the one to learn a lesson. Will Elias be swept away by a Tsunami here tonight? Or will the Colossal Aussie #WalkWithElias?

The bell rings and Bronson CLOBBERS Elias, drops a BIG elbow, then hits a ROLLING SENTON! Bronson dusts his hands off while Boogs takes notes. Bronson CLUBS Elias, HEADBUTTS him, then Bronson brings Elias up. Elias fires off forearms, CHOPS, but Bronson blocks the whip. Bronson whips Elias to a corner, to SPLASH! And then he bumps Elias off buckles, before he CLOBBERS him down again! Cover, TWO! Elias survives but Bronson clamps on a chinbar. Fans rally for Elias, chant for “BOOOOGS~!” and Elias fights up! Elias pries free but Bronson knees him low. Bronson whips Elisa but Elias holds ropes!

Elias elbows Bronson, BOOTS him from the ropes, then goes up! Elias leaps, into Bronson’s arms! Bronson pops Elias up but Elias lands on his feet! SYMPHO-KNEE! Elias runs, but into a LARIAT! Bronson ripcords, for the POWERSLAM! Bronson then drags Elias into the drop zone and he goes up top. TSUNAMI!! Cover, Bronson wins!

Winner: Bronson Reed, by pinfall

Hopefully Boogs’ notes say something along the lines of, “Don’t fight Bronson Reed ever.” Elias might be all washed up now, will he ever recover from that Tsunami? Will Bronson soon find himself going for gold?

 

Cathy Kelley waits outside the trainer’s room.

There is still not an update on Trish Stratus after what DMG CTRL did to her. But in comes Gable with his missing posters. Has anyone seen Gable’s number one guy? No? Well, when you do, give him a call. A thank yew. Gable heads out, but Becky Lynch & Lita come storming in! Cathy wants a comment from them, but they go into the trainer’s room first. Will the Man and the legend get a word from Trish herself?

 

Backstage interview with Kevin Owens.

Cathy brings up his coming Street Fight with Solo Sikoa, and notes that Kevin’s faced pretty much every member of The Bloodline to date. But he didn’t ask for help from Sami Zayn last week, why is that? Kevin says he did ask for help for a long time, but didn’t get it. What has happened lately is now Sami is the one asking Kevin for help, and with the history between them, is it really that hard to understand why Kevin doesn’t want to fight alongside Sami? Kevin swishes Sami the best, but he doesn’t want any part of it. Kevin is fine fighting on his own, he doesn’t need Sami. And for that matter, Kevin heard what Cody said earlier, he saw what Cody did for Sami last week.

Cody wants to help Sami, that’s his problem. But they talked last week, too, and Kevin told him then that he doesn’t want Cody’s help. Tonight, when Kevin is out there against Solo, do NOT come out there. Cody, you need to focus on Roman Reigns at WrestleMania. Cody has waited his whole life for this moment, and Kevin doesn’t want to be the reason Cody fails. So no matter what, Kevin does not wanna see Cody out there. Kevin will fight Solo, and whoever else he’s gonna bring, on his own. Just like he will keep doing. Kevin heads out, but does he really mean it when he wants to be solo against The Bloodline?

 

The Street Profits are laughing it up.

But then they spot Austin Theory walk in. It’s Baby Cena! GOO GOO GA GA! Where’s that RUTHLESS! AGGRESSION! Try Montez, partner! But no, he won’t. He’s like in 8 Mile: a choke artist! He ain’t got what it takes. Theory says this is great, all of it, really. Keep doing this because that’s all they’ve got. And chances are, in a couple of months, they’ll just be unemployed. But let’s talk about last week. Yeah, Theory got what he wanted, like he always does, and that is… Hold on, Theory is “rather humble” so he should give this it’s proper due. “The top ballot, the marquee match of WrestleMania, the biggest match, Austin Theory VS John Cena!”

And Cena had a lot to say, but why wouldn’t he? Theory is the biggest thing int he WWE. But the Profits? Not so much. Let’s talk about it. Who even is the toughest between them? Who has that backbone? Who has that fire? That desire? It’s gotta be… Dawkins! But uh, not Ford. When it comes to Ford, well, he’s just a big bag of jokes. The biggest joke is that when Ford is handed an opportunity, he lands flat on his face. But hey, Theory only wishes he could relate to that. But he can’t, because Theory always goes to the top. But that smoke! The smoke they want, the smoke they got. When it comes to that smoke, all Ford does is choke.

Dawkins steps up to tell Theory that Cena’s gonna humble him at Mania. But why wait? Dawkins will cook Theory tonight. Well, sounds great to him! But uh, Theory just thought of something. What’re the Profits doing at Mania? Oh, right. NOTHING! Theory laughs his way out, but will that smug smile be smacked off his face?

Austin Theory VS Angelo Dawkins!

Raw returns and the Profits make their entrance. The bell rings and Theory circles with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins shoots around to a waistlock and he SLAMS Theory down! Dawkins stays on Theory as he scrambles up and goes to ropes. The ref counts, Theory elbows Dawkins away. Theory bumps Dawkins off buckles, stomps him, but lets off as the ref counts. Fans chant, “BABY CENA!” but Theory tells them to shut up. Theory whips Dawkins corner to corner, Dawkins goes up and over, then keeps moving. Theory hurdles and rolls but Dawkins handsprings to DROPKICK! Fans fire up and Dawkins fireman’s carries! FLAPJACK! Cover, TWO!

Theory sputters and Dawkins talks smack. Dawkins brings Theory up, but he throws a body shot! Theory throws hands, he RAMS Dawkins into the corner again and again, but the ref counts. Theory lets off with a haymaker, then brings Dawkins back up. Theory snapmares, he clamps on a chinlock and he grinds Dawkins down. Dawkins endures as Theory says this is HIS time. Fans rally and Dawkins fights up. Dawkins throws body shots, but Theory CLUBS him down! Theory scowls, then he drags Dawkins up. Dawkins ROCKS Theory with a right hand! Theory falls to ropes, Dawkins storms up and whips, but Theory reverses.

Theory slides out to trip Dawkins and drag him out, then Theory RAMS Dawkins into barriers! Theory rains down fists and fans boo, but Theory hurries to RAM Dawkins back into the barriers! Fans boo more but Theory dares Dawkins to make jokes now. Theory says this is his time, but Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Theory talks more trash while Dawkins is down in the ring. Fans taunt Theory more but Theory CLUBS Dawkins. Theory says Dawkins disrespected him, and he ROCKS Dawkins again! Dawkins is on wobbly legs but Theory brings him up. Dawkins clinches to an EXPLODER! Both men are down again and fans fire up! Theory drags himself up at the ropes but so does Dawkins. Theory swings but Dawkins counter punches! And again! Dawkins CLOBBERS Theory, CLOBBERS him again, but Theory kicks low. Theory whips, Dawkins hurdles and FLYING ELBOWS! Theory goes to a corner, Dawkins hits the CYCLONE SPLASH and ENZIGURI!

Dawkins keeps going, but Theory fights the underhooks to roll up, with tights! TWO, Theory swings but into the SILENCER! Cover, TWO! Dawkins grows frustrated but he stalks Theory to ropes. Dawkins brings Theory around, but Theory fights the Anointing! Theory runs, but into a POUNCE! Theory flops to the apron but Dawkins storms over. Dawkins drags Theory up but Theory HOTSHOTS him away! Then slingshot and SHOTGUN! Cover, TWO! Theory grows frustrated but then he shakes his head and smirks. Theory says this is about him! “It’s always been about me!” Theory stands up and he storms over to Dawkins.

Theory stands Dawkins up, points to the WrestleMania sign, but Dawkins cradles! TWO!! Theory escapes, but Dawkins sunset flips! TWO!! ENZIGURI! Theory goes to a corner, Dawkins runs in, CYLONE- FOREARM!! Theory fireman’s carries, for A-TOWN DOWN! Cover, Theory wins!

Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall

The Now wins big and soaks up all the heat from Providence. But he isn’t done, he drags Dawkins into an STF!! Theory sends a message to Cena while also punishing Dawkins! Ford runs out and gets in the ring, but Theory gets away! Theory even copies, “You Can’t See Me!” Will Ford make Theory see him before WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.

The Wise Man cuts off Cathy’s introduction to say, “We have a problem. As in, #WeTheOnes have a problem. As in The Bloodline has a problem. We’ve identified that problem. You know what that problem’s name is? Kevin. Owens. Tonight, the Bloodline demonstrates we solve all problems, and the Kevin Owens problem will be solved by the Samoan Street Fighting Champion, Solo.” Heyman turns to leave but then turns right back around to say, “And then there’s Cody Rhodes! Cody Rhodes has a problem. Cody Rhodes has mistaken the fact that the truth shall set him free with the fact that the truth will imprison Cody Rhodes’ mind into making stupid mistakes like making this personal to Roman Reigns.

“And I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, ‘W-Well, it’s already personal to Cody Rhodes!’ Well of course it’s personal to Cody Rhodes! That’s what makes Cody Rhodes such a compelling and intriguing and riveting challenger in the main event of WrestleMania! But to make this personal… to Roman Reigns… by mockingly and sanctimoniously acknowledging his Tribal Chief on worldwide television… What a shmuck. Cody Rhodes, you want to acknowledge your Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns? I’m gonna give you a chance to acknowledge Roman Reigns. Next week, live from St. Loui son Monday Night Raw, your Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns, will be here on Raw!

“And Cody Rhodes… You will ACKNOWLEDGE your Tribal Chief! And in that moment, you will make the biggest personal and business decision of your entire life. You will decide at that moment whether you are a challenger, or you are a problem. Because Cody, I assure you, you are a problem that Roman Reigns would love to personally solve.” Will the American Nightmare choose to be a problem from the Head of the Table?

 

Rey Mysterio is here!

Providence fires up for the King of Lucha Libre and the headlining inductee of this year’s WWE Hall of Fame class! Rey gets the mic to say, “Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Thank you.” Fans chant, “You Deserve It!” Rey says he must admit, it feels really good to be back on Raw. “Just last year, we were celebrating 20 years together. A huge celebration. And here we are, celebrating the biggest honors of my life.” Rey does have to be clear, though. This isn’t just his award. This award is made from the people who helped Rey build up his career. An award made from the fans that connected with Rey for all these years that he’s been in the business.

Rey says this award is not just for him. This award is for all of us! “So, straight up, from-” Wait. Here comes Dom! Dom ruined Rey’s moment on SmackDown, he’s doing it here on Raw. Dom “congratulates” Rey for becoming a WWE Hall of Famer. And he does actually deserve it. Rey put his entire life into the business, and Dom hopes it was worth it. Fans chant “YOU SUCK!” at Dom but Dom says Rey earned this honor, at Dom’s expense! Dom says Rey knows that’s right! But y’know what? Rey put his entire life for this business. Rey chose all of these strangers, instead of his kids! Fans boo and chant “YOU SUCK!” more.

Dom asks Rey how it feels. Is it an honor knowing that Dom went all those nights without having a father? How does it feel? Eighth grade, if Dom got good grades, they’d go out for his graduation. But guess what? That day, Rey was nowhere to be found, because he was at WrestleMania! Rey ditched Dom for Mania! And what else happened? When Dom turned 16, and Rey said he’d get Dom a new car. “What?” A new car. “What?!” Dom’s friends all showed up, they had new Mercedes. And Rey gets Dom a BMW?! And not even an M Series!

Fans boo Dom being a spoiled brat, but Dom tells Rey, “But you’re just afraid. Because I see you for what you really are. And that’s a sad, ugly excuse for a father. No, no, no. Excuse for a man!” Rey tells Dom to take that all back. Dom says that he’ll let Rey enjoy his HOF weekend in LA. But to make it a bit better, Dom challenges Rey to a match at WrestleMania! Fans want Rey to accept! Rey stares Dom down, and says, “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you: I’m not gonna fight my own son. Whether you believe it or not, I still love you, son, and I always will. There will be no match at WrestleMania.”

Fans boo as Rey goes to leave, but Dom asks, “That’s your guys’ Hall of Famer? That’s your guy? Huh? You’re just gonna walk away now? Huh, Mr. Hall of Fame? Yeah, that’s right. Do what you do, the only thing you know how. You ran away from Raw, you ran away from your entire family, and you ran away from ME!” Dom says the only thing Rey has ever taught him is what NOT to be! Rey feels that one, but he still doesn’t give into what Dom wants. Will Dom ever stop tormenting his own father?

 

Backstage interview with Becky Lynch, Lita & Trish Stratus.

Cathy is again waiting by the trainer’s room. Becky and Lita walk back out with Trish. Do we have an update? Becky says DMG CTRL is gonna get their heads kicked in, that’s the update. Lita says that divide and conquer game didn’t work, they should’ve finished the job. Trish agrees, because she’s been hit a lot harder than that. Now DMG CTRL has pissed her off. Becky, Lita and Trish head out, will they hunt down Bayley, Kai & Sky?

 

The Miz heads to the ring.

The Hollywood A-Lister is going to join commentary for this next match, because he wants to see if the Lone Wolf can take down the Visionary. Will Corbin clear out a spot for himself at WrestleMania?

Seth Rollins VS Baron Corbin!

Raw returns and Corbin is already in the ring. Rollins makes his entrance, and Providence is ready to #BurnItDown! They sing his song, “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” but Corbin CLOBBERS Rollins from behind! Fans boo as Corbin stomps away and throws down hands! The ref reprimands, Corbin lets off to soak up the heat, but Rollins throws his jacket off. The bell rings, Rollins runs in but into a knee! Corbin ROCKS Rollins, fires off forearms and body shots int he corner, but lets off as the ref counts. Fans sing more but Corbin DECKS Rollins. Corbin drags Rollins up, throws more body shots, then runs, but Rollins fires hands in return!

Rollins has Corbin on the ropes, swings wild, then whips. Corbin reverses but Rollins ducks ‘n dodges and mule kicks! And front kicks! And DISCUS LARIATS! Corbin rebounds but Rollins ROLLING ELBOWS! Then Rollins runs to clothesline Corbin up and out! Fans fire up and sing again, “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” Rollins builds speed, DIVES, and he sends Corbin onto the desk! Miz moves aside but Rollins goes to the apron. FLYING KNEE! Corbin falls over and fans fire up again! Miz tells Rollins to stop pandering to the fans! Rollins taunts “Mikey,” then goes back to Corbin. Rollins throws Corbin onto Miz!

Fans fire up as Miz falls over int he armchair! Rollins puts Corbin in the ring, SUPERKICKS, then runs. But Miz gest on the apron! Rollins PELES Miz! Fans fire up as Rollins aims at both Miz and Corbin! Rollins boosts off Miz to CURB STOMP Corbin!! Cover, Rollins wins!

Winner: Seth Rollins, by pinfall

Now that’s how you respond to a sucker punch! Fans sing for The Visionary, and Corbin doesn’t get to add himself to anything other than the loser’s column! Will Rollins watch next week’s ImPAULsive TV segment in person?

 

Gable keeps looking for Otis.

No one has seen him. Mustafa Ali walks over to say hey to “Chaddy Daddy,” and Gable asks Ali if he’s seen Otis. No, he hasn’t. But Ali also hasn’t seen Gable smile. You gotta be more optimistic! Sometimes, the thing you’re looking for is right around the corner. #BePositive, #MustafaMania. SHOOSH! But speaking of, Otis IS right around the corner, taking photos with the Maximum Male Models! Gable asks what this is all about! Wasn’t Mansoor supposed to have a match with Gable tonight? Mansoor says that actually, his chipped his nail while scrolling through Instagram, so they’re not cosmetically cleared until next week.

And Mace tells “Gollum” that tonight isn’t about matches. Tonight is about matching, and they’re working on Otīs’ headshots! Otīs?! Oh, Otis, Gable didn’t know. If he wants to do more than lift weights, then they can do that together! Gable will do some poses, too! Get some shots! NO!! Gable’s broken Mansoor’s camera! It must’ve been Gable’s “Sandoval Ick!” His what? You don’t know? Well, you clearly don’t watch Vanderpump Rules! Tom Sandoval is a DISGUSTING scab on the feet of his Bambi eyed mistress. And Gable… Is grosser than THAT! Come, Otīs. There’s work to be done.

Gable says it’s okay, they may have missed their morning session, but they can cram an hour’s worth of work into 20 minutes. Otis is fine with that, but then Maxxine calls. Sorry, coach. Otis heads out with MMM, is this the end of the Alpha Academy?

 

Bianca Belair VS Chelsea Green w/ Carmella!

The RawEST Women’s Champion is doing her best to the be readiEST she’s ever been for WrESTleMania, but she’s got to deal with a Hot Mess. Will Bianca be rolling towards Hollywood? Or will Karen- Er, Chelsea get herself a golden ticket to that title without speaking to the (general) manager?

Raw returns as Chelsea makes her entrance, the FABULOUS Princess by her side. The bell rings and the two tie up. Bianca shoves Chelsea right away, and then eggs her on. Chelsea fires off slapping hands and Mella applauds, but then Bianca chases Chelsea to a corner. The ref backs Bianca off as Chelsea complains, and then Chelsea storms up on Bianca. Bianca pie faces her first! The two tie up, Bianca gets around to a waistlock, and she SLAMS Chelsea down! Chelsea fights up, throws Bianca away, but Bianca comes back to run Chelsea over! Chelsea turns to Mella for help, but Bianca whips Chelsea to ropes. Bianca then runs past Chelsea, dodges her boot, and runs her over again!

Fans fire up for Bianca as she drags Chelsea back up. Bianca whips, Chelsea reverses, but Bianca goes up to say kiss this. Chelsea runs in but Bianca goes up and over. Bianca then scoops Chelsea for a BACKBREAKER! STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Chelsea scrambles away to Mella and Mella gives her some tips. Bianca runs in, Chelsea dodges and Mella swipes at Bianca. The ref reprimands, but Chelsea runs to slide and trip Bianca. Chelsea spins Bianca around, the ref tells her to back off and so she does, but that allows Mella to FABULOUS KICK Bianca! Fans boo but Mella gets away with that. Chelsea covers, TWO!

Fans rally for Bianca but Mella says that was close. Mella coaches Chelsea up as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Chelsea soaks up the heat from the apron. But Bianca rolls Chelsea up to a cover, TWO! Bianca gets around, O’Conner Rolls, TWO! Bianca goes up the corner but Chelsea trips her up! DRAPING BACKSTABBER! Mella applauds but fans boo. Bianca crawls away, Chelsea stalks her to the corner, and she grabs the arms. Chelsea motorcycle stretches, but Bianca turns it around to send Chelsea into buckles! Chelsea staggers up, into a SIDEWALK SLAM! Fans rally for Bianca and she stands back up. Bianca runs at Chelsea and rallies with big forearms and clotheslines!

Bianca DROPKICKS Chelsea into a corner, then kips up to storm up. Bianca whips, Chelsea reverses but Bianca goes up and over to RAM into Chelsea! Bianca reels Chelsea in, to suplex! And then SLAM! Bianca kips up again but Mella gets on the apron. The ref reprimands, but Bianca’s handspring knocks Mella down! But Chelsea gets her knees up on the moonsault! Cradle, TWO!! Bianca escapes, but Chelsea SLAPS her! Chelsea then hooks Bianca up, ROLLING KNEE SMASHER! Cover, TWO!! Chelsea panics, she goes for the arms, but Bianca powers out! Bianca scoops, Chelsea slips free!

Chelsea wristlocks and ripcords, but Bianca dodges, only to run into a HARD forearm from Chelsea! Chelsea runs, into a spin and torture rack! KISS OF DEATH!! Cover, Bianca wins!

Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall

The KOD spelled disaster for Chelsea, and the EST holds up the belt. But Mella storms in, FABULOUS- NO, Bianca blocks it! But then Chelsea grabs the braid! Fans boo but Bianca DECKS Chelsea! Only for Mella to CLOBBER Bianca! But here comes ASUKA! Asuka runs down to the ring, she slides in, and Chelsea hides because she remembers the mist! But then Mella dodges and Asuka ROUNDHOUSES Chelsea! Bianca ROCKS Chelsea, Asuka URAKENS, and then Bianca hits a SPINEBUSTER! The Hot Mess pays for being a sore loser! But then Asuka picks up the title. She plays around with Bianca a bit, dances with the belt, but Bianca gets annoyed.

Asuka grins and all the blue mist seeps out! Asuka laughs and hands the belt back. Bianca is not amused. Asuka just keeps smiling and then takes her leave. Will the Empress of Tomorrow make Bianca see red? Or will she only see  blue when these two have their showdown in Hollywood?

 

Street Fight: Kevin Owens VS Solo Sikoa!

The Prizefighter has been a problem for The Bloodline for the better part of the last 12 months, and he looks to keep being that problem until The Bloodline falls! Will Kevin #JustKeepFighting until that happens? Or will the Enforcer of the Island cross one problem off the list on the Road to WrestleMania?

Raw returns and Kevin makes his entrance. He eggs Solo on so Solo meets him at the ramp! The bell rings right as they start throwing hands! Fans fire up, Kevin knees low and fires off haymakers! Kevin puts Solo in the ring, but Solo stomps Kevin down. Solo HEADBUTTS Kevin, CHIPS him against ropes, then whips him to ropes. Kevin reverses to CLOBBER Solo! Then SENTONS! Fans fire up with Kevin as Solo goes to the corner. Kevin runs in but Solo bails out. Kevin is annoyed but he just goes out after him. Solo UPPERCUTS Kevin first! Then RAMS him into barriers! Fans already chant, “We Want Tables!”

Kevin kicks and CHOPS and ROCKS Solo! Kevin whips, Solo reverse band Kevin hits barriers, but he comes right back to CLOBBER Solo again! Kevin scowls, he stands on Solo’s fingers, and then he ROCKS Solo with a haymaker. Kevin CHOPS Solo, stalks him, but Solo knees low! Solo CHOPS Kevin, SMACKS him off the desk, then SMACKS him off it again! Kevin blocks to SMACK Solo off the desk in return! And again! Solo staggers back, Kevin brings Solo around, and puts him in the ring. Kevin hurries back in but Solo SAMOAN DROPS him! Solo snarls, he storms up on Kevin and CLUBS him down!

Solo stomps away at the ropes, then grabs an arm. Kevin grabs the ropes but Solo stomps him down. Solo then drags Kevin to center for a FALLING HEADBUTT! Kevin scrambles away to the outside but Solo pursues. Solo looks under the ring, and he brings out a chair! And then another chair! But Kevin CLOBBERS Solo! And RAMS him into steel steps! Kevin brings out the TABLE! Providence fires up as Kevin sets that up, only for Solo to SUPERKICK him! Solo then TOSSES Kevin over the announce desk! Fans boo as Solo puts the table back under the ring, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Kevin is throwing chairs into the ring! The ref has to get clear of that last one! Kevin then hurries back into the ring, grabs a chair and pursues Solo to JAM him with the chair again and again! And then he SMACKS Solo on the back! Kevin gets in the ring and he sets some chairs up in a square. Fans fire up, Kevin makes the square more a rectangle, and then he drags Solo into the ring. Kevin ROCKS Solo with a right, makes him take a seat, then BOOTS him down! Solo lies down on the chairs, Kevin climbs, but Solo springs up to ROCK Kevin! Solo HEADBUTTS away on Kevin, then climbs up!

Fans freak out as Solo brings Kevin up! Kevin throws body shots! Kevin HEADBUTTS Solo, HEADBUTTS him again, and then HEADBUTTS a third time! Solo stays up, Kevin HEADBUTTS him again! Solo hops down, only to grab Kevin by his face! ROCKET LAUNCHER onto the WRECK-TANGLE!! Fans lose their minds, Solo clears the chairs out and the ref checks Kevin. Cover, TWO!!! Kevin survives and he rolls out of the ring, but Solo pursues again. Kevin kicks low and POSTS Solo first! Then POSTS him again! Then CANNONBALLS against the barriers! Kevin hauls Solo up to dump him over the barriers!

Fans fire up as this fight now goes into the crowd! Kevin ROCKS Solo, follows him along the back way, and throws more forearms! Kevin brings Solo to the stage, and RAMS him into the titantron! Solo staggers backstage to gorilla! Kevin pursues, but DOUBLE SUPERKICKS meet him! The Usos were waiting! This was the trap all along! Solo, Jimmy & Jey all drag Kevin back to ringside! Fans boo as the Bloodline mugs Kevin and then put him in the ring. Fans chant for “SAMI! SAMI!” but the mugging continues! DOUBLE SUPERKICKS!! Solo drags Kevin up, for the SAMOAN SPIKE!!! Cover, Solo wins!!

Winner: Solo Sikoa, by pinfall

Kevin knew the Bloodline would all jump him, and he was right! Kevin is left sputtering and drooling in the middle of the ring, will nothing stop The Bloodline from solving all their problems by WrestleMania?


My Thoughts:

A great Raw here, though I do feel like the Bloodline segments weren’t as strong tonight. It may have just been that they were actually more straightforward and about the action. Cody VS LA Knight was a random match but apparently built on social media. Cody of course won, he was gonna win against whoever he faced tonight, and he had a very good promo to follow. Heyman also had a good promo that responded in part to Cody’s. Kevin also had a good promo, and we got a great main event, even though it was only 15 minutes. And of course, Solo got help from The Usos. This was par for the course for the Bloodline but it was meant to prove Kevin is wrong on not needing anyone, as that moment where he reconciles with Sami is still coming.

Great stuff in the Judgment Day stories, from Edge and Finn officially setting their WrestleMania match. Hell in a Cell at WrestleMania is pretty big, and I kinda hope Finn mentioning “his demons” means he’ll be some sort of Demon Balor. Rey and Dom of course had another interaction, though Dom kinda repeated/reworded some of what he said on SmackDown. But Dom also added a bit of the element Michael Cole keeps bringing up about Dom being privileged and spoiled, and that was pretty funny stuff. Dom challenging Rey to a match is fitting of the story, and while Rey doesn’t want to, something’s gotta bring them to something for Mania.

Also, great transition from Edge’s promo into the Judgment Day VS Gargano & Lumis match. Gargano will be busy with Grayson Waller at Stand & Deliver, he doesn’t need to be part of Mania stuff, but I was hoping we’d get more in the way of the Women’s Tag Division. DMG CTRL beating up on Trish was a good way to hype the Six Woman Tag, but I of course was still hoping for a big tag title match. Maybe Backlash can do that to make WWE’s return to Puerto Rico even bigger. Plus, more time to build to such a match, or rather rebuild the Women’s Tag Division across Raw and SmackDown.

Bianca VS Chelsea with Mella ringside was good stuff. Bianca of course wins, but of course Mella and Chelsea beat her down to bring out Asuka. Asuka continues to come out in a very Yakuza kind of outfit (I’m thinking the games more than real-life Yakuza) is a neat look for her. Asuka is a Face but her teasing Bianca was a nice touch. I still think Asuka should win to make this new persona strong. Then good stuff from Theory and the Profits, though Theory maybe stumbled over his words a bit. Theory VS Dawkins was a really good match, and of course Theory won, but I like that he’s getting on Ford’s nerves. I said before that Cena isn’t winning the title at Mania, because he can’t be back full-time. But if they do it right, Ford can be the guy to dethrone Theory at Backlash.

Hilarious stuff from Gable all night, as well as “Otīs” hanging out with MMM. We’re getting closer and closer to Gable fighting to keep Otis in the Alpha Academy or lose him to MMM completely, that’ll be good stuff. Bronson squashing Elias was also a thing, and I am hoping Boogs’ notes will be about as useless as last week about Lashley beating Elias. Good stuff from Miz, Corbin and Rollins, “Desperate Corbin” is definitely his new form. Corbin VS Rollins was surprisingly short, and almost hilariously because of how Miz ended up getting involved. Rollins will of course want to get involved with Logan’s segment next week, and that will be a lot of fun, too.

My Score: 8.6/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/18/24)

Talk about a Big Time Raw!

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Will The Man be the Last Woman Standing?

Becky Lynch and Nia Jax want to finally put this to an end, so tonight on Raw, it will be a Big Time Last Woman Standing match! Will the Irresistible Force force the WrestleMania 40 match to change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: #DIY VS The Creed Brothers; DIY wins and advances to WrestleMania.
  • Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell VS Kayden Carter & Katana Chance; Candice & Indi win.
  • Dominik Mysterio w/ JD McDonagh VS Ricochet; Ricochet wins.
  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The Awesome Truth VS Indus Sher; The Awesome Truth wins and advances to WrestleMania.
  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The New Day VS The Alpha Academy; The New Day wins and advances to WrestleMania.
  • Last Woman Standing: Becky Lynch VS Nia Jax; Becky wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Jey Uso is here!

North Carolina State University fires up and bounces along with Main Event Jey, and Pat McAfee plays a dangerous game standing on the armchairs! From Bret VS Owen to Matt VS Jeff, we’re about to get Jey VS Jimmy in the third-ever Brother VS Brother WrestleMania grudge match! Jey gets the mic as fans chant “YEET! YEET! YEET!” Jey welcomes us to Monday Night Raw, and wants us to check this out. He knows his brothers are somewhere in the building. He knows The Bloodline’s in the building. He knows how the Bloodline rolls! SO Big Brother Jimmy, where you at?! Where you at, Uce!?

Jey waits for someone to show up somewhere, and the crowd spots them first! Fans boo as Jimmy & Solo make their way from the back of the stands. Jimmy gets a mic and goes to the apron while Solo paces around the outside. Fans chant “YEET! YEET! YEET!” again as Jey puts the sunglasses aside. The Usos stare each other down, the fans now chant “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Jey wants to say something, hesitates, but then says these two would always get to it but they always knew how to shake right back to this. But now it’s different. Regardless of what happened, the bad blood between them, Jey misses his brother. He does.

Jey knows Jimmy will say what he wants, but Jey doesn’t talk to him no more, doesn’t ride with him no more, doesn’t even see him no more! Jimmy can just come back. Jimmy says he never left! He protected Jey! Jey’s so dumb, he can’t see it! Jimmy is protecting Jey! It was Jey’s idea to leave The Bloodline, but Jimmy helped because he is Jey’s brother. So yeah, Jey leaves, and what happens? Lil’ Bro becomes the BIGGEST star on the Raw roster! Lil’ Bro becomes the top merch seller! Lil’ Bro goes off to become a tag team champion without Jimmy, but with CODY RHODES!? Who left who, Uce?

Jey forgot Jimmy! Everything Jey did that was big was cuz of Big Bro Jimmy! Everything! So listen loud and clear. The biggest moment in Jey’s career, the BIGGEST moment, is because of Jimmy! Jimmy stares Jey down, but Jey says no. Jey’s biggest moment in his career is going to be his dream match at WrestleMania 40: Jey VS Jimmy, and Jey knocks the yeet out Jimmy’s ass! Jey DECKS Jimmy, DECKS Solo off the apron, but then Jimmy SUPERKICKS Jey down! The fans boo but now Solo storms in and looms over Jey. Solo drags Jey up so Jimmy can look him in the face and tell him that Jey needs to get it right! JIMMY made Jey!

But here comes Cody Rhodes! The fans fire up as Cody DECKS Jimmy, then gets in to springboard and CODY CUTTER Solo!! The American Nightmare said he was gonna be a Bloodline Hunter, and he made sure they didn’t take out Jey! Cody tells The Bloodline it is only a matter of time before they lose it all at WrestleMania! Will Jey prove that younger or older doesn’t matter when he is the BETTER brother?

 

Adam Pearce is on the phone.

He’s telling Nick Aldis to stop being a hypocrite, telling Pearce to keep his roster in check when this is happening. But then Paul Heyman walks over and Pearce says he’ll call Aldis back. Pearce then asks Heyman what was all that, and Heyman says he owes Pearce an apology. He is sorry. That was not authorized by The Final Boss nor The Tribal Chief, and certainly not by Heyman. Jimmy & Solo went into business for themselves so Heyman apologizes. But listen, Pearce knows that there have been flight delays all day. Even private jets like theirs. Heyman is barely even dressed for TV, let alone has his make-up!

Pearce says those two were ready. Yeah, well, they got in on a different flight. But Roman Reigns is a chief of his word. Those two are already gone, out of the arena, and Pearce has Roman’s word. Call his bluff, put out a search party. Pearce knows Heyman is here on official business, which Heyman will handle, and then be gone. That is it. But when Heyman does his official business… everyone will be caught off guard. “And Mr. Pearce, sir, that’s not a prediction. That’s a spoiler.” The Wise Man heads out and calls Roman, but just what is Heyman teasing?

 

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: #DIY VS The Creed Brothers!

Unlike SmackDown’s mini-tournament, Raw and Adam Pearce say it’s win and you’re in! Tommaso Ciampa & Johnny Gargano want one more shot at Judgment Day, but so do Julius & Brutus! Will the Sicilian Psycho & Johnny Wrestling prove that when it comes to Mania Moments, you gotta do it yourself? Or will the Creeds be bringing golden tickets to the Diamond Mine?

Raw returns as The Creeds make their entrance. The teams fist bump to show respect, then the teams sort out. Julius starts against Ciampa, they circle and tie up. They’re in a deadlock, Ciampa goes for a waistlock but Julius facelocks. Julius wrangles Ciampa to the mat, flips him over, ONE, and Ciampa keeps moving. They trade facelocks, gator roll, and Julius gets another lateral press. ONE, but Julius gator rolls Ciampa around. Ciampa fights up, puts Julius on ropes, and the ref counts. Ciampa lets off, then CHOPS! Julius shoots in for the takedown! Julius has a leg, Ciampa fights but Julius turns him for the ANKLE LOCK!

Ciampa scrambles to the ROPEBREAK, and Julius lets off cleanly. Ciampa bails out, shakes it off, and he gets back in. They go again, Julius hits a fireman’s carry takeover! Tag to Brutus, and Julius feeds Ciampa to another fireman’s carry takeover! Brutus cording holds but Ciampa endures. Ciampa fights up, but Brutus facelocks. The fans rally as Brutus switches and rolls Ciampa. Ciampa fights up, headlocks, then ROCKS Brutus! Brutus DECKS Ciampa, then whips him to ropes. Ciampa ducks ‘n’ dodges, tag to Gargano! Ciampa slides, CHOPS, Gargano LARIATS and Ciampa JAWBREAKERS! Wrench and LARIAT!

Julius runs in, Gargano kicks and Ciampa gives him the boost for SLICED BREAD! The Creeds bail out, but DIY DOUBLE PLANCHA! Down go the Creeds, and DIY applaud and pat themselves on the back. The fans fire up and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Ciampa has Julius in a chinlock. The fans rally, Julius fights up to throw body shots, but Ciampa hits a back suplex! Julius lands out of it, but Ciampa elbows him away. Ciampa drop toeholds Julius, gets legs, but Julius BOOTS Ciampa away! Hot tags to Gargano and Brutus! Brutus rallies on DIY, TOSSES Gargano, then blocks Ciampa’s kick to get under and POWERBOMB him! Brutus sees DIY regroup, then he runs in to SPLASH them both! O’Conner on Ciampa, but Gargano runs up! NORTHERN LIGHTS! Brutus has a DOUBLE BRIDGE, TWO!! Tag to Julius and he gut wrench SLAMS Brutus on Ciampa!

Brutus helps Julius flip up and over to SPLASH onto Ciampa! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up as Julius drags Ciampa up. Ciampa throat chops! A bit dirty but Ciampa wants that win! Ciampa storms up on Julius, but Julius basement stalling suplexes!! The fans are thunderous, Gargano runs in, but Brutus intercepts! Brutus suplexes Gargano now, stalls, and then the Creeds SLAM and kip up! Then they both STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Ciampa stays in this for DIY but the Creeds keep cool. Julius stomps Ciampa, tags Brutus, and they KNEE Ciampa around! Then they DOUBLE GUTBUSTER! Ciampa sputters but Brutus tags Julius in.

Julius drags Ciampa up, tags Brutus back in, and Brutus climbs. Julius Electric Chair Lifts, but Gargano makes the save! Gargano ROCKS Julius, Brutus ROCKS Gargano! Ciampa BOOTS Brutus, Gargano swings on Julius but is sent into Ciampa! Ciampa pushes Gargano back so he can ELBOW Julius! DIY set up again but Brutus stops the Sliced Bread! Julius DECKS Ciampa, KNEE into the WIDOWMAKER! Julius scrapes Gargano out, Brutus POUNCES Ciampa over the desk! Pat fires up with Brutus and so do the fans! The Creeds say they run this now, and then Brutus drags Ciampa up while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Julius has Ciampa in a chinlock. Ciampa fights up, and he JAWBREAKERS free! Ciampa ELBOWS Brutus down, BOOTS Julius, then runs up, only for Julius to catch him and toss him back! But then Ciampa catches Julius for a REVERSE DDT! The fans fire up while both men are down and crawling! Hot tag to Gargano! Gargano slingshots to KICK Julius, then he CLOBBERS Brutus! ENZIGIRI for Julius, then he runs to DOUBLE KNEE Brutus! BULLDOG LARIAT COMBO! The fans fire up with Gargano while Julius ends up in another corner. Gargano runs in but is put on the apron!

Gargano GAMANGIRIS Julius, SUPERKICKS Brutus, then SLINGSHOT SPEARS Julius! Cover, TWO! Julius survives but Gargano puts him in a corner. Gargano CHOPS, then hoists Julius up top. Tag to Ciampa, Ciampa CHOPS Julius while Gargano DIVES onto Brutus! Ciampa CHOPS Julius again, goes up top, and fireman’s carries! Ciampa then tucks Julius in for the SUPER AIR RAID CRASH! Cover, TWO!! Julius survives again and shocks Ciampa! The fans are just as stunned, but Ciampa and Julius sit up. Ciampa stands, and he CHOPS! And CHOPS! Julius sits back up as Ciampa puts some stank on the CHOP!

Julius brings the straps down! Julius fires a forearm, Ciampa hits back, and the fans fire up as the shots keep going! They go faster and faster, harder and harder, meaner and meaner! The fans fire up as this just turns into a brawl of haymakers and SLAPS! Ciampa then gets around, ripcord and HAYMAKER! ROLLING- TACKLE from Julius! And then the ANKLE LOCK!! Ciampa reaches out, moves around, but Gargano runs up! Julius kicks him, then gets him up with one arm to POWERBOMB! Then it’s back to the ANKLE LOCK on Ciampa! Brutus gets in to get Gargano for an ANKLE LOCK of his own!

The fans are thunderous as DIY endures! Ciampa and Gargano fight, turn things over, SICILIAN CROSSFACE and GargaNO Escape!! The fans are thunderous as The Creeds power up and lift both DIY! They fireman’s carry, then TOSS DIY into each other!! The fans are thunderous as Julius goes up to MOONSAULT onto Ciampa! Brutus MOONSAULTS, too! Cover, TWO?!?! Ciampa survives and the fans are loving this! Julius tags back in, Brutus climbs up! “This is Awesome!” as Julius Electric Chair Lifts Ciampa! But Ciampa VICTORY ROLLS to get under the Brutus Ball!! Cover, Brutus tips it! Gargano TOSSES Brutus then SUPERKICKS Julius!! Ciampa has the cover, DIY WINS!!

Winners: DIY, by pinfall (advance to WrestleMania)

Julius can’t believe it! He kicked out at 3.1, but a loss is a loss! And for the first time ever, DIY is going to Mania! Will Philadelphia soon be historic for a DIY championship victory?

 

Judgment Day meets backstage.

Rhea Ripley is with Dominik Mysterio, Finn Balor & JD McDonagh, but also Andrade. Dom says he’s always liked Andrade’s style, but things have changed since the last time he was in the WWE. The Judgment Day runs Raw now. Rhea says yeah, and they don’t extend invitations to just anyone. Judgment Day is very exclusive. JD says very exclusive. But if Andrade continues to impress them, they’ll see about making things happen. And Finn says he just heard that Andrade has a match next week, so the Judgment Day will be watching him. Sounds good. See you next week. But then in steps Damian Priest.

The Punisher says hello to El Idolo, and El Idolo says hello to Senor Dinero. Andrade heads out, will he quite literally win his way into the club? But as for Priest, Finn asks him what he was up to. Priest was getting a closer look at that DIY VS Creeds match. DIY won, but whatever, they can handle those guys. But JD, they thought he could handle Ricochet last week, and run the gauntlet, and then go to WrestleMania to bring even more gold back to Judgment Day. JD says he did he belonged in there. But also, he battered Ricochet, who got lucky at the end there. Right, Finn? Finn hesitates, and Rhea says Priest is right on this one.

Ricochet made a fool out of JD! A fool? Yes. A fool? Yes. That’s why tonight, Dom will make it right. Right, Dom? Yeah, Mami. Let’s go talk to Pearce to make it official. Dom & JD head out, and the others are confident Dom’s got this. But does he, though? Or will the One and Only have two wins over Judgment Day in as many weeks?

 

Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell VS Kayden Carter & Katana Chance!

The Poison Pixie certainly lived up to that name last week when she bullied Maxxine Dupri as part of beating her and Ivy Nile last week. Will Candice’s toxic tongue strike again? Or will the party not be stopped by her harsh vibes?

The teams sort out and Candice starts against Kayden. Candice rushes up, Kayden gets around and O’Conner Rolls, TWO! Kayden springboards to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Kayden stalks Candice, Candice ELBOWS her away then tags Indi. Kayden dodges Candice to SUPERKICK, but Indi BOOTS Kayden! Cover, TWO! Indi drags Kayden up, tags Candice back in, and they mug Kayden. Candice CLUBS away on Kayden, fires off furious fists, then covers. TWO, and Candice grows frustrated already. The fans rally, Candice steps up but Kayden avoids the senton! Tags to Katana and Indi! Katana blasts past Indi, comes back and BULLDOGS!

Katana keeps moving, ducks ‘n’ dodges, then SHOTGUNS Indi to a corner! The fans fire up as Katana stomps away on Indi! Indi shoves Katana, Katana runs corner to corner to A-LIST LARIAT! Katana shoves Indi down, runs up, but into a back suplex! Katana lands out, but her leg jams! The ref and Kayden check, then the ref keeps Indi back. Indi says okay, and she stays by Candice. But Candice tags in to WRECK Kayden! And she SLAMS Katana’s leg into the post!! HALF CRAB and DEEP! Katana taps, Candice & Indi win!

Winners: Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell, by submission

Candice smiles and celebrates with Indi, but Indi doesn’t want to. Candice says a win is a win, but just what is going on in her toxic mind?

 

Cody Rhodes makes his way to the ring.

NC State fires up again as The American Nightmare walks down the ramp, and this time the fans can sing along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro then gets the mic. “In less than three weeks time, I will stand opposed for the second year in a row, in the main event, with the lights on brightest, I will challenge for the WWE Undisputed Championship, against the greatest champion in all of sports, The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. And this Friday on SmackDown, Roman and I are going to have a little conversation, if you will. But there are… complications. Factors, elements, combustible elements, namely… The Rock.”

Fans boo but Cody says The Rock took to Instagram on Friday, and followed it up with “extremely entertaining” concert. Too bad The Rock didn’t wanna be here tonight. Something Cody took from the Instagram post: The Rock referred to himself as “Our Favorite Heel.” A bit of an inside term, but we’re not dumb, we know that means he’s the “bad guy.” Cody has known Heels. Bobby Heenan, Arn Anderson, Michael Hayes, “Superstar” Billy Graham, “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair! Fans “WOO~” and Cody says he doesn’t think The Rock is a Heel. He’s just an assh*le. The fans go nuts hearing that!

Cody doesn’t want Rock getting upset, he doesn’t want the “seven bucks team” to get upset, he doesn’t want anyone getting emotional. Cody knows how Rock feels about emotions, he poked fun at Cody tearing up at discussing “finishing the story” with good friend, Michael Cole. There’s no crying in pro-wrestling, Jimmy Dugan, we get it. But hasn’t The Rock been crying behind the scenes this whole time? Once that hashtag came out, once fans chanted something else, The Rock cried to his buddies on the TKO board and said “Hey, this is gonna be some good PR for The Rock! I need to save WWE!” God knows, look at this house. They sure needed “saving,” huh?

The fans cheer but Cody says Rock wanted great PR. Until it wasn’t. TKO said OMG yes, put on the Gucci shirt, get those muscles looking big. It’s because they are Yes People, they are enablers, they won’t dare tell The Rock like it is, so Cody’s going to. Cody tells The Rock, “You’re a lot of things. You’re a lot of wonderful things. You are the Braham Bull, you are The Great One.” Cody still has shoes with The Rock’s logo on it! The Rock is the only guy Cody honestly feels is a Mount Rushmore wrestler. But he is also a terrible salesman, a carny succubus, and for those who don’t get what that means, The Rock is “a whiny b*tch!”

Fans lose their minds again but Cody says The Rock has been convinced otherwise. But don’t think that for two seconds this locker room needs The Rock more than The Rock needs it! That’s a rule of wrestling, nobody is bigger than the business! And sure, Cody brought up his mom, so it is fair game for The Rock to use that. But Cody knows The Rock’s mom. Here’s what Cody will tell us about The Rock’s mom. She is a wonderful lady, salt of the earth, she helped Cody chop Kevin in a dark match. Cody has nothing but respect for The Rock’s mom, something The Rock should’ve echoed back towards Cody’s mom.

But see, The Rock was talking about whipping Cody, handing a bloody weight belt to Cody’s mom, and normally someone as powerful as The Rock, Mama Rhodes would tremble. But The Rock doesn’t know Cody’s mom. Cody was more scared than she was, because she ain’t scared of nothing. This is the same woman who once jumped out of her chair at a Willie Nelson concert and beat up an undercover cop! She ain’t afraid of The Rock! Cody has been asked, April 6th, biggest tag match of all time, Rock & Roman VS Cody & Seth. Seth Rollins, the World Heavyweight Champion, a man The Rock should respect because that man has carried The Rock’s company!

How will Cody get past that match? How will April 7th look? Will it be a fair fight? Cody can tell us honestly… He doesn’t know. Cody does not know if it will be Bloodline Rules or not. Hell, he might not #FinishTheStory. “But Dwayne… What do you know? How can you be so sure of your own self, right?” The Rock hasn’t been in the ring in real action in years! April 6th, the bell is gonna ring, and what happens then? Is The Rock gonna bring The Great One, the hero we all had growing up? Is he bringing that #BigDwayneEnergy? Or is it gonna be LDS, Little D*ck Syndrome?! The fans chant “L D S! L D S!”

Cody says The Rock has referred to himself as The Final Boss. Kudos for that nickname, maybe he really is that. Maybe Cody is too naive to see it. But at WrestleMania, Cody doesn’t think The Rock will be The Final Boss. At WrestleMania, he’s just Roman’s side chick. But then ladies and gentlemen, his name is Paul Heyman, and he serves as The Wise Man to Your Tribal Chief, the reigning! Defending! Undisputed! WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion, Roman… Reigns! And as Special Counsel to the Bloodline, Heyman is here to say to Cody that the ideals that Cody and Heyman share are far greater than the interests on which they conflict.

By example, don’t you hate it when someone comes out to demand an apology? Not that Cody’s done that, but Heyman is still going to do that. Heyman came out here with some “friends” of his, and he apologized. For a Wise Man, that was pretty freakin’ stupid. One: because it didn’t work. Two: because it was just dumb. And for that, Cody, to you and the fans, Heyman humbly apologizes. Cody says whoa, whoa, whoa. He didn’t ask for an apology, and he certainly knows Heyman wants permission to be in the ring. Heyman is a Hall of Famer starting this year, if he wants into the ring, be Cody’s guest.

Heyman thanks Cody for that but he’s fine on the apron. He carries with him a message from The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. Talk about Heels… You may think of Heyman anything negative you want, and that might be understanding the obvious. Heyman is not trustworthy, but Roman is a chief of his word. Heyman assures that this Friday on SmackDown, Roman will be face to face with Cody. American Nightmare, Tribal Chief, challenger and champion. And when they are face to face, there will not be a single other member of The Bloodline in sight. Except for Heyman, but he is no physical threat.

Heyman holds the title belt, the beads, whispers things in Roman’s ear, such as his love and respect. But Cody has Roman’s word that if he shows up on SmackDown, Roman will show up alone. Cody says Roman shows up alone, no Bloodline outside of Heyman, it’s a deal. They good? Heyman has some jet lag, he forgot one little point. And don’t boo him, he’s talking to Cody! Cody says yes they’re booing, and he’s about to go full Homelander and rip Heyman’s throat out if he doesn’t get to the point. Fans like the reference. Heyman composes himself and says if Roman Reigns shows up alone this Friday on SmackDown, then Cody must show up to SmackDown alone, too.

Cody steps closer to Heyman and Heyman is a bit nervous. Cody tells Heyman, “Deal!” They shake hands, and Heyman smiles. The Wise Man negotiated a purely one-on-one meeting between his Tribal Chief and American Nightmare, but can we trust Heyman was telling the truth about Roman telling the truth?

 

Nia Jax speaks.

“You know what I’ve realized? Becky Lynch has never beaten me. And after tonight, she never will. Because after I break her face again, I will be taking her spot at WrestleMania. I will finish business with Rhea Ripley, and not only will I walk out the Last Woman Standing, but I will become Women’s World Champion.” The Irresistible Force is ready for the Big Time, but will she A-Nia-late her?

 

Cody Rhodes returns backstage.

And Jey says there he go! But real quick, Cody can’t be going to SmackDown alone. Cody says he gave them his word. But The Bloodline isn’t gonna play fair! They’re all gonna be there! If Cody needs Jey, Jeys’ got him. Cody hears that, but he knows what he’s dealing with. They shake hands and Jey heads out. Will Cody be able to have that fair, one-on-one meeting? Or does Jey have a point about The Bloodline?

 

Dominik Mysterio w/ JD McDonagh VS Ricochet!

It seems Pearce agreed to the idea that Dirty Dom should try and clean up The Irish Ace’s mess. Will Dom be able to get revenge on Ricochet? Or will Ricochet be the One and Only person holding their head high tonight?

Raw returns and Dom has made his entrance. The bell rings, Dom and Ricochet circle, and they tie up. Ricochet waistlocks, Dom fights the lift and grabs ropes. The ref counts, Ricochet lets off, but Dom ELBOWS him away! Dom fires hands, soaks up the heat, then storms up, but into haymakers! Ricochet CHOPS, kicks then flexes on Dom. Ricochet whips, Dom reverses, but Ricochet goes up and over. Ricochet ducks ‘n’ dodges to then handspring back elbow! The fans fire up while Dom bails out! JD is there to coach Dom up, but Ricochet runs in! JD gets Dom to safety, but Ricochet handsprings to hero land!

The fans fire up, Ricochet then goes to ropes to TORNILLO PLANCHA! Direct hit on Dom and Ricochet tells JD to back off. Ricochet puts Dom in, Dom distracts the ref, but JD grabs Ricochet’s leg! Ricochet kicks JD away, but then Dom WRECKS Ricochet with a dropkick! Dom soaks up the heat and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Dom has Ricochet up top. Dom climbs but Ricochet throws body shots! The fans rally behind Ricochet as he sends Dom staggering. Ricochet hops down as Dom comes running back, and Ricochet GAMANGIRIS him away! Ricochet then springboards, but Dom trips him up! Ricochet flops to the mat, then Dom kicks and FACEBUSTERS! Cover, TWO! Ricochet is still in this and JD argues the count. Dom looms over Ricochet, scuffs him around, then mockingly cheers him on. Fans boo but Dom brings Ricochet up. Dom gives some Latino Heat, then suplexes! Uno Amigo, but fans boo.

Dom gets Ricochet up but Ricochet suplexes Dom instead! And then fireman’s carry, DYNAMITE KICK! Cover, TWO! Dom is still in this and JD coaches him but the fans rally for Ricochet. Ricochet stands, storms up on Dom, but Dom shoots around to roll him up! With tights! TWO, Ricochet blocks a kick and KICKS Dom down! Ricochet hurries up top, the fans fire up, but Ricochet has to bail out of the 450 as Dom moves! Dom runs in again, but into a SUPERKICK! JD gets on the apron, so Ricochet triangle jump DROPKICKS! But then Dom DROPKICKS Ricochet onto ropes! Dom dials it up but Ricochet ducks!

Dom spins around, into the RECOIL!! Cover, Ricochet wins!

Winner: Ricochet, by pinfall

But then JD runs in! Ricochet dodges, goes up and around, BOOTS JD away, then BOOTS him again! Ricochet even flips up and out of the ring at the same time! Ricochet gets the better of Judgment Day again, just how disappointed is Mami going to be in her Latino Heat this time?

 

Sami Zayn is backstage.

He finds Chad Gable and wants to talk with him. Last week’s match, that was an honor. Sami hasn’t been pushed like that in a long time, it could’ve gone either way. Gable says yeah, it was great. Thanks. Is Gable alright? Yeah, he’s fine. Kinda feels like not… Gable says he’s fine, so leave it at that. C’mon, man, how many years have they known each other? Sami knows when something’s bothering Gable, so he should just say it. Gable says look, last week, the WrestleMania opportunity, the whole thing, it just meant more to him. Sami says he’s been hearing Gable say that for weeks, and it is really unfair.

Does Gable really think he’s the only one this title opportunity matters to? Sami has a family, too! Sami’s kid cries when Papa loses a match, too. Sami has people he’s let down and is trying to make proud. After all the years put into this, Gable can’t tell Sami what matters more because he doesn’t know Sami like that. Gable has Sami calm down, and says he knows all that. But it isn’t all about that. Then what is all this? Gable says Sami can’t beat Gunther. Gable then leaves, and Sami is at a loss for words. Is this bitter side of Gable only going to get worse as we go down this Road to WrestleMania?

 

Adam Pearce is in the ring.

Raw returns with the GM by a table, and he welcomes us to a contract signing to make official the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship for WrestleMania! The fans cheer, and Pearce introduces first, the challenger, Sami Zayn! The Great Liberator makes his entrance and the fans sing along with his song. Sami still looks troubled by what Gable said just moments ago, but he still high-fives fans and gets in the ring. Then Pearce introduces the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time, Der Ring General, GUNTHER! The fans boo as Gunther walks in, having reached Day 647!

Gunther smiles as Sami watches him make his way down the ramp and into the ring. Pearce says we know how this works, but Gunther says before we proceed, let us call this what it is: the most important contract signing for the most important match in the history of this championship. And why, why, why is the challenger dressed no better than any of the bums in the audience? Fans boo but Sami just shrugs that off. Sami gets a mic to say that Gunther keeps sitting there all smug, and it’s really starting to piss Sami off. Gunther thinks this is just another day at the office, that he’ll steamroll through Sami like any other contender.

But with all respect to Gunther, he really has. He has beaten everyone that has come his way, and has done it on his own. Gunther doesn’t believe Sami can do it. A lot of people didn’t believe Sami at many points in his career. They didn’t believe he’d even make it to WWE, let alone win championships and main event a WrestleMania. And if you ask The Usos, they didn’t believe Sami would be one of the guys to end the longest tag title reign in WWE history, but he did! And one year later, he will make history again by ending the longest Intercontinental title reign in WWE history! Sami signs his part and pushes the contract over to Gunther.

The fans cheer Sami on but Gunther waits it out. Gunther tells Sami, what Sami should do is listen to his new friend, Gable. Gable doesn’t believe Sami can win. The people here cheer Sami, they probably even love Sami. But even they don’t believe Sami can win. And y’know, when Gunther looks Sami in the eyes, and if Sami was honest with himself, even Sami doesn’t believe he can win. So what Sami is doing right now is standing on Gunther’s doorstep and begging him to get the beating of a lifetime on the Grandest Stage of Them All! So whatever Sami has to do, from training to believing, just keep doing that. Because at WrestleMania, Sami’s dreams will meet reality.

Gunther grins and signs his part, and it is now official! Gunther then stands, title on his shoulder, and takes his leave. The fans boo, but then Sami tells Gunther to wait. Gunther steps back inside to hear Sami as Sami turns around. Gunther looks in Sami’s eyes and believes Sami doesn’t believe? Sami stands to get in Gunther’s face and dares him to look again. Get a good long look, because these are the eyes of the man who will take you down at Mania! The fans fire up, and now Sami leaves first. Gunther still just grins, but will Sami use a Helluva Kick to wipe that smile off his face?

We follow Sami as he storms backstage, right past DIY and The Awesome Truth. Truth asks what’s up with Sami, but The Miz says that is the mindset of WrestleMania right there. That’s what they need. DIY wishes Awesome Truth luck. Awesome Truth knows DIY is into the ladder match, and they are gonna have their own qualifier. Miz & Truth just need to beat… Indus Sher. Jinder Mahal tells Veer & Sanga to warm up for the match. They head out, and Truth says he feels sorry for whoever has to face those guys. Miz stares at Truth, and he has DIY hold off. Miz will explain. The Awesome Truth heads to gorilla, their match is next!

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The Awesome Truth VS Indus Sher w/ Jinder Mahal!

Miz wants a remix of the theme song but Truth says to just follow his lead. NC State knows what’s up, but will the Awesome Truth finally reach the top of the tag division 13 years after they first teamed? We’ll see, after the break!

Raw returns as Indus Sher makes their entrance, the Modern Day Maharaja by their side. The teams sort out and Truth starts against Sanga. The fans echo “WHAT’S UP?!” but Sanga roars! Truth is scared now so he tags Miz. Truth fires Miz up, Miz runs up and dodges Sanga to fire off haymakers! Miz kicks, whips, but Sanga blocks! Sanga whips and CLOBBERS Miz! Jinder nods as Sanga then scoops Miz and brings him over. Veer tags in, Sanga SLAMS Miz, then Veer ELBOW DROPS! Indus Sher say “NAMASTE!” but the fans say “WHAT’S UP!?” with Truth. Veer HIP DROPS Miz, then looms over him.

Veer eggs Miz on, drags him up with shoulder claws, and then steps over Miz for the neck wrench! Miz endures as Veer still digs a claw into his shoulder. The fans rally for Miz, Miz fights up and throws body shots! Miz reaches out but Veer knees low! Veer SHOVES Miz to the corner, runs in, but Miz BOOTS! Miz ELBOWS Sanga, but Veer catches him! Veer puts Miz back int he corner, but Miz ducks the boot to tag Truth! Truth dodges Veer and starts up the shoulder tackles! Truth gets around Veer to SPIN-OUT BOMB! The fans fire up as Truth shouts out Cena with “You Can’t See Me!” Truth runs to Five Knuckle Shuffle!

Jinder is not happy now as Truth fireman’s carries! But Veer slips free! Truth drop toeholds to the STF!! The fans fire up but Sanga stomps Truth! Miz fires off kicks on Sanga, then body shots! Truth joins in, they mug and whip Sanga, to DOUBLE DROPKICK! Sanga staggers around, Veer runs up, but into a full nelson! Truth and Miz combine for a SKULL CRUSHING LIE DETECTOR!! But Sanga whips Miz away! Miz WRECKS Jinder with it, but Sanga runs up! Sanga knocks Miz down, Miz anchors Sanga, Sanga ELBOWS Truth, Truth falls onto Veer for the cover! Awesome Truth wins!!

Winners: The Awesome Truth, by pinfall (advance to WrestleMania)

The fans fire up, and Truth doesn’t even realize what happened! Miz celebrates with Truth and Truth puts it together! They’re now one of the six in the ladder match! Will this combination of teamwork and luck be just what they need to take those titles from Judgment Day?

 

Sami confronts Gable now.

Sami tells Gable to tell him why. Why what? Why does Gable think Sami can’t beat Gunther? Well you just saw why! With Gunther, it isn’t just physical, it is mental. Sami made his career out of being the underdog that crawls his way out of any hole he’s in, right? Just like last week! Sami found the window of opportunity to get out of a bad situation any time he can. Gunther’s on a different level! You gonna sit and wait for that window to appear? It doesn’t happen with Gunther! He’s a different beast, a different animal. If Sami doesn’t change his mentality, then he can’t beat Gunther. Gable leaves Sami with a lot to think again. Is there a way Sami can change enough to defeat Der Ring General?

 

CM Punk speaks.

“Do I plan at being in WrestleMania? WrestleMania is in Philadelphia, what’re the first four letters in Philadelphia? Phil. You can’t have WrestleMania Philadelphia without Phil. Whether I’m invited or uninvited, Punk will be there.” And next week in Chicago, Punk returns to Raw! Will the Second City Saint find a way to be part of the biggest WrestleMania ever?

 

Drew McIntyre is here!

The Scottish Terminator, or as his new shirt says, “The Savior of WrestleMania,” makes his way to the ring, NC State a bit torn about seeing him. But then Seth Rollins is here, too!? McIntyre is upset but the fans sing along, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” as The Visionary struts his way out. Rollins swaggers right past McIntyre in his green storm pattern suit, and steps into the ring first. McIntyre frowns as he follows Rollins in, and sits in a corner. The fans continue to sing, which Rollins revels in for a moment. Rollins has the mic to then say, “RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA~! Welcome to Monday Night Rollins~!

“And Drew, hah, sorry, I didn’t even see you there. I was too busy, uh, y’know, soaking up the spotlight, right?” McIntyre has a mic to say, “Alright, here we go.” Here goes what, Drew? McIntyre says no, no, get it all out of your system, he knows Rollins has more! McIntyre can stay in the back while Rollins enjoys the spotlight, because after WrestleMania, that spotlight’s all McIntyre’s. Hey, hey, c’mon. Rollins is here with an honest cause. Rollins doesn’t like McIntyre, he thinks he’s stupid, a hypocrite, has said a lot of dumb things lately, but Rollins is here to admit that one thing McIntyre said is absolutely right and he wants to say it to McIntyre’s face, right here in Raleigh, in front of the fine people.

Now, they always say the first step to recovery is the hardest, so bare with Rollins. He has been working on this all week, but… “My name is Seth Freakin’ Rollins, and I’m a spotlight junkie.” The fans chant “Spotlight Junkie!” and also sing, but McIntyre says everything is just a joke to Rollins, isn’t it? Look at Rollins! He’s a parody of himself at this point. But honestly, McIntyre doesn’t care. He tried reasoning, he gave the answers, and now he only cares about their match and the world title. And you wanna know the real punchline, funny man? “What?” McIntyre says they say that because they’re happy McIntyre sidelined Punk, thanks for remembering!

But the punchline is when McIntyre beats Rollins for that title. The fans chant for “C M PUNK!” but McIntyre says don’t be ridiculous. Punk’s waiting until next week to return because he’d never show up in a place like Raleigh. The fans boo but McIntyre says see, they’re booing Punk! Punk is only getting off his couch to be at his local arena. Rollins tells McIntyre to shut up already. Oh, seems McIntyre got Rollins’ attention. Rollins takes off the sunglasses to say yeah, McIntyre has his attention. Because this isn’t a joke! When Rollins says he is a junkie, it isn’t a joke! He’s been doing this for 20 YEARS! Just like McIntyre!

And every time Rollins comes out of the curtain, that’s his fix. And it gets better and better every single time. Rollins comes out here, lays it all on the line, and it just gets better and better! When he hears the fans sing the song so loud, Rollins can barely speak, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” That’s Rollins’ fix! That is the spotlight he craves, and y’know what? Rollins wants the spotlight as bright as it can possibly be. So yeah, McIntyre’s been busy online entertaining people with memes, so he hasn’t been listening to Rollins. So Rollins will get this through McIntyre’s thick skull: Night One, Rollins takes the biggest star in Hollywood and his side chick, and makes them his b*tches!

Then on Night Two, the biggest spotlight possible will be shined down on McIntyre and Rollins and the World Heavyweight Championship! McIntyre says all hail the savior, Seth Rollins! This is what McIntyre wanted! The passion and desire, not the stupid laughing and dancing. Rollins had McIntyre all the way to the finish. Rollins has done this 20 years, just like McIntyre. They’ve given their lives to this industry, and that is what the title is about! The wrestlers’ title, the workhorse championship! Rollins had McIntyre with him until he mentioned the bigger spotlight and how Rollins pins one of the biggest stars in the world.

Why can’t it just be about Rollins’ hard work to make that title, and all of McIntyre’s hard work to get this chance? Why can’t that be the reason they’re getting the biggest spotlight!? Rollins has had his priorities all backwards, McIntyre has been giving him all the answers. McIntyre said he is over the BS, and all he cares about is Rollins making it to the ring on Night Two. And if Rollins can’t walk, then McIntyre will wheel him down. If not, McIntyre will carry Rollins down. At Mania, McIntyre doesn’t get the moment he deserves. He gets the moment he has bloody EARNED. The fans do cheer that!

Rollins smirks and says, “Ah, Drew. There it is. That’s right, you wanna call me a spotlight junkie, but you want the spotlight just as bad as I do, don’t you? You’re an addict, just like I am. And you’ve been begging for spotlight for the past four years, because you won the WrestleMania main event. You did, back in 2020, in an empty warehouse. And all we’ve been hearing from Drew McIntyre for the past four years was how that wasn’t good enough. You’ve been whining and complaining and bitching and moaning that you deserve better, that you deserve more. The problem is, Drew, when everybody came back around, and the lights got bright again, what happened? You fumbled the ball.

“And that’s the difference between you and me. When the lights are the brightest, I shine, baby. I shine bright. And at WrestleMania 40, the lights are gonna be as bright as they have ever been. And you are gonna find out you are not as good as you think you are.” Rollins drops the mic, but this time McIntyre smirks. The verbal battle continues, but who will put their money where their mouth is once this one finally happens?

 

Becky Lynch speaks.

“I’m a wanted woman, and I don’t even have the title. Yet. But we’re less than three weeks away from WrestleMania, so why would I risk it all? Because I don’t know anything else. All I know is taking risks. All I know is fighting. And all I know is tonight, I’m gonna be the Last Woman Standing.” Becky is fired up to finally do what she hasn’t done in the most extreme way possible. Will she be the immovable object to Nia’s irresistible force?

 

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship Ladder Match Qualifier: The New Day VS The Alpha Academy!

Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods have been W, W, E, World, Tag, Team, CHAMPIONS~, but they’ve never been a part of a title match as big as this Six Pack Ladder challenge! Will they look to be part of history once again? Or will Akira Tozawa & Otis say “A THANK YEW~!” for this golden opportunity?

Raw returns as the Academy makes their entrance. The teams sort out and Woods starts against the tree trunk, Otis. The fans rally for “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” Otis and Woods tie up, but Woods kicks low then headlocks. Otis powers up and out then runs Woods over! Otis storms up on Woods, GUT RAMS him back down, then brings him back up. Otis GUT RAMS Woods again, then runs to CLOBBER Woods! Otis swivels his hips, the fans echo “Oh~ yeah!” Otis tags Tozawa and the Academy mugs Woods. Tozawa brings Woods around but Woods CHOPS! Woods tags Kofi, he and Kofi double whip Tozawa but Tozawa holds ropes!

Tozawa fires hands, dodges Woods then BOOTS Woods down! Kofi kicks low, whips Tozawa to a corner, but Tozawa BOOTS Kofi away! Tozawa goes up to FLYING RANA! The fans fire up as Tozawa sees New Day regroup outside. Tozawa runs to DIVE! Direct hit on both New Day, and Otis joins in for “A THANK YEW~!” The Academy stands tall as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Tozawa fights a chinlock. Tozawa reaches for Otis but Woods back suplexes. Tozawa lands out to then DROPKICK Woods down! The fans rally as Woods and Tozawa crawl, hot tags to Otis and Kofi! Otis CLOBBERS Kofi, CLOBBERS him again, then whips him to ropes. WRECKER ELBOW! Woods runs in, Otis dodges, to LARIAT! Otis sees Kofi leap off the corner, and catches him for a WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM! Otis rips the shirt off, winds up the hips, and then starts up the CATERPILLAR! ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Kofi survives but Otis hurries to step on him! Tag to Tozawa, and Otis goes up!

Otis VADER BOMBS but FLOPS as Kofi moves! Tozawa hurries up top while Kofi SUPERKICKS Otis! Kofi turns around into the CROSSBODY from Tozawa! Cover, TWO! Tozawa SUPERKICKS Kofi but Woods tags in! Woods GAMANGIRIS Tozawa, then steps in to TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO! Tozawa toughs it out but Woods grits his teeth as he goes to the corner. Woods climbs, but Tozawa rises! Tozawa throws body shots, Woods CLUBS Tozawa! Tozawa throws more hands and climbs up! The fans rally as they brawl up top! Tozawa brings Woods up but Woods fights the lift! Woods throws body shots in return!

Woods shifts position to get under Tozawa for a fireman’s carry! But then Tozawa pops up to SUPER STEINER!! Tozawa rips off his shirt, climbs back up top, SUPER SENTON!! Cover, Kofi breaks it! The fans fire up but Otis drags Kofi out! Otis whips Kofi at steps, Kofi goes up and jumps off the steps to TORNADO DDT to the floor! Kofi hurries back up to the apron but Tozawa SCREW HIGH KICKS him down! Tozawa dodges Woods, pop-up, but Woods blocks the rana to then SPINNING POWERBOMB! Woods sees the WrestleMania sign, hurries up the corner, and he tightrope walks! LIMIT BREAK ELBOW!! Cover, New Day wins!

Winners: The New Day, by pinfall (advance to WrestleMania)

The New Day are the ones saying A THANK YEW~ as they put their names down for the Six Pack Ladder Match! Will they once again climb to the top of the WWE Tag Team Division and bring home those championships?

 

Liv Morgan confronts Becky Lynch.

Becky asks if she’ll have to watch out for Liv as well. Well, you should always #WatchMe, but no, not tonight. Nia is all Becky’s. Liv just wants Becky to kick Nia’s ass. Liv leaves, will Becky kick ass and then some?

 

Cody walks with his dog, Pharaoh, backstage.

Rollins finds him and brings up Friday. One on one? One on one. Rollins nods and says he loves Pharaoh’s bandanna. The Visionary trusts the American Nightmare can handle himself, but will we be able to trust The Tribal Chief?

 

Last Woman Standing: Becky Lynch VS Nia Jax!

From the origins of “The Man” in WWE to the aftermath of Elimination Chamber: Perth, these two have battled, but never as brutally as this! They’re able to go anywhere and do anything, but who will be the Last Woman Standing this close to WrestleMania 40?

The bell rings and the two rush in! Becky DROPKICKS Nia and Nia goes to a corner. Becky runs in but Nia puts Becky on the apron. Becky ROCKS Nia, goes up a corner, then leaps to MISSILE DROPKCIK! Nia stumbles and tumbles out of the ring, so Becky WRECKS her with another dropkick! Becky then goes to the apron for a FLYING FOREARM! Nia stays up, Becky tries again, but Nia dodges! Fireman’s carry and Nia POSTS Becky, to then SAMOAN DROP her into barriers! The ref counts as Becky is down, but she stands at 4 of 10. Nia CLOBBERS Becky and wants the count! The count climbs but Nia is impatient.

Nia clears off the desk, Becky stands at 5 of 10, and she leans against barriers. Becky comes back with body shots and haymakers, but Nia ROCKS her with a forearm! Becky staggers away as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Becky is bringing out a table! The fans fire up as Becky sets that up ringside. There’s been a lot of chaos during the break according to commentary, from chairs to kendo sticks to even a copy of Becky’s book, The Man: Not Your Average Average Girl! But Nia storms over to stop Becky and SMACK her off the desk! Nia puts Becky in the ring, takes that table for her own and sets it up. The table doesn’t cooperate and fans boo, but Nia goes for chairs instead. She slides those in the ring, Becky manages to stand at 7 of 10, and she grabs at those chairs. Nia ditches the table, it just doesn’t wanna work.

Nia storms in but Becky JAMS her with a chair, SMACKS her with it, then clinches! Nia fights the slam, fireman’s carries Becky, and FULL METAL SAMOAN DROPS!! Becky writhes from hitting chairs but Nia looms over her. Nia soaks up the heat as she counts along. Becky flounders to ropes and drags herself up at 7! Nia sits a chair up, fans want a table, but Nia scoops Becky. Becky slips around to a SLEEPER! Nia RAMS Becky into buckles again and again until Becky lets go. But then Becky BULLDOGS Nia off the chair! Nia is down for the count now, and Becky leans against ropes to stay up herself.

Nia stirs at 5, stands at 8, but Becky is up top! Becky leaps, into a CHAIR SHOT! Nia SMACKS Becky again and again and again! The fans boo but Nia finally stops. Nia puts that chair aside and goes out to get some kendo sticks! Nia puts those in, but Becky grabs one! Nia snatches it from her to SMACK! And SMACK! And SMACK! Becky sputters and staggers, Nia clinches and scoops! Nia SLAMS Becky onto chairs! Then Nia runs to drop the leg, brother! Nia wants the count and the count begins! Becky sputters as we reach 5 of 10. Becky grabs that kendo stick but Nia SMACKS Becky with a chair! And again!

Nia kicks Becky around, then uses the chair to take a seat on Becky’s body!! The fans boo as the count begins, but Becky SMACKS Nia with the kendo stick! And again and again and again, even in the butt! Nia stands up, into more shots! Becky stands and she fires away until Nia scurries out of the ring! Becky pursues but Nia CLOBBERS her! Nia pulls the steel steps apart now, and takes that top half to RAM Becky down! Becky flounders, Nia hauls her up and puts her in the ring. Becky’s on the apron and Nia takes aim! Nia runs up, APRN LEG DROP only gets apron! Becky avoids disaster, then has Nia by the steps! DDT onto the steel!

Nia is down again and the count begins. Nia stirs at 5 of 10, sits up at 6, but Becky SMACKS her off steps! Nia falls over again and the count resets. Becky hurries to go looking for things while Nia rises again. Becky has a new table! The fans fire up as Becky gets that in the ring. Nia stands at 7, staggers after Becky, and Raw goes back to break.

Raw returns once again and Nia mugs Becky against barriers! Nia puts Becky on a table, and surprise! There’s a ladder set up now! Nia climbs the ladder?! She also demands Pat support the ladder. But Becky gets off the table so now Nia has no reason to be up there. Nia storms after Becky, but gets a FIRE EXTINGUISHER BLAST!! The fans fire up as Becky cools Nia off, then JAMS her with the canister! Becky puts Nia in the ring, and there’s a table waiting in a corner! Becky lines up the shot, and runs in, but Nia SAMOAN DROPS Becky through the table!!! Both women are down in the wreckage and the count begins!

Nia flounders away from the wreckage but she still needs to stand. Nia is up at 5, and she isn’t satisfied with this! She drags Becky all the way to another corner and puts her in the drop zone! Nia climbs up, for the A-NIA-LATOR!! Nia shouts for the count, the count begins, and Nia storms around as she points to the Mania sign. Becky is still down at 5 of 10, only starts stirring at 7, and she slumps out of the ring to stand up! Nia is furious, goes out after Becky, and kicks things aside to keep after her. Nia asks if Becky’s vision is blurry. Nia fireman’s carries Becky up the steel steps and along the apron, aiming for that other table!

The fans freak out but Becky fights with elbows! Becky CLUBS away on Nia and the fans are thunderous! Becky then clinches, for a MANHANDLE SLAM through the table!!! Both women are down int he wreckage again, and the count begins! Becky sits up at 4 while fans are still losing their minds! We pass 5 of 10, then 7! Nia sits up at 8 and stands at 9! But then she slumps back over! The count starts again, Nia flounders around and stands at 5. Becky goes up the ladder! Becky sees Nia approaching the desk, and then SUPER MAN’S LEG DROP through the desk!!! The fans lose their minds again while both men are down in more wreckage!

The count is 5 of 10! Becky flounders and crawls, drags herself up at 9, but Nia is still down! BECKY WINS!!

Winner: Becky Lynch

The Man conquers truly one of the most intense challenges in her career! But then here comes one of the most intense champions! The fans fire up as Rhea Ripley makes her way out, Women’s World Championship in hand. She goes right to the ring and looks at Becky. Rhea “congratulates” Becky for winning, but then Becky gets in Rhea’s face! The fans fire up, and now there are no obstacles in the way of Mami VS The Man! Who will be the champion after WrestleMania 40?


My Thoughts:

A great Raw right here, though the in-ring action kinda dipped down until that awesome Last Woman Standing main event. This is one of the times I wish they’d done picture in picture so we as the TV audience could see even more action. Great win for Becky, of course, but I also like that Becky had a moment with Liv just before, and of course she had a moment with Rhea to close out the night. Great promos with Sami and Gable that also blended into the contract signing from tonight. And I suppose Gable has a point that Sami, the comeback kid, can’t do that when Gunther has an arsenal of moves that would be “finishers” given all the different ways Gunther has won over the years.

And speaking of that contract signing segment, I really liked the segue they did in following Sami so that he’d cross paths with Awesome Truth at gorilla and we’d get their segment going into their match. WWE has been doing some really creative stuff in this newest era where Vince is truly out and apparently even Kevin Dunn has moved on. Awesome Truth had a really fun but also really quick tag match with Indus Sher, and then New Day VS Alpha Academy was solid stuff, but DIY VS Creeds was such an awesome match. For a moment, I thought Creeds were gonna take this one but DIY still found a way, and I like that DIY is in. Honestly, I’m liking that the HHH favorites are getting in, because we also have New Catch Republic on the other side that can still win into the match.

Judgment Day had good stuff tonight, too. Good group promo with Andrade to tease El Idolo possibly joining, but who knows if he does. Depends on how things go for Priest. He was watching the qualifiers, he’s not worried, but maybe he should be. Granted, he still has the MITB briefcase, he could go from losing the tag titles to taking the world title, who knows how the Judgment Day’s story is going to go as we move past Mania. Dom VS Ricochet was a really good match, and Ricochet winning was the right move to keep this feud going. I think there’s going to be Ricochet VS McDonagh next week as a rematch from the gauntlet, that’ll be great stuff, too.

Candice’s Heel turn slow burn continues as she takes advantage of the “hurt” leg. Indi also does a good job of being very conflicted about this. There’s a WWE YouTube exclusive where Ivy Nile confronts Candice so that’ll be a match, and then maybe when Candice again goes too far, Indi steps in and we get a match of Candice VS Indi at some point. Good little update promo from CM Punk, he’ll have a great homecoming moment in Chicago, but also probably McIntyre coming after him. McIntyre had a great promo segment with Rollins, and with all these continued moments where the other person gets the mic drop moment, it feels like McIntyre has to win the title.

And of course, great stuff with the Bloodline story even on Raw. Jey and Jimmy have great promos in their confrontation, and of course it turns into a brawl. Good segue from that to Heyman being here, and Heyman confronting Cody during Cody’s great promo segment. Cody really went off on The Rock, that was some wild stuff. But the supposed promise of “one on one and no one else aside from Heyman” might be kept, and we get a strong promo segment on SmackDown in a foreshadowing of the fair-and-square 1v1 match. Or it is a trap and that’s more a foreshadowing of Bloodline Rules where they can do whatever they want. Guess we’ll have to wait and see.

My Score: 8.9/10


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Mitchell’s NJPW New Japan Cup Results & Report! (3/18/24)

The semifinals are here!

Published

on

We’re just one step away from the Cup!

Cold Skull faces The Fierce Warrior, and Gene Blast faces The King of Darkness, and when the smoke clears, we will have our New Japan Cup finalists!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Boltin Oleg & Shoma Kato VS Zack Sabre Jr. & Mikey Nicholls; ZSJ & Mikey win.
  • Six Man Tag: El Desperado, Tomohiro Ishii & Togi Makabe VS Just5Guys; Just5Guys win.
  • Tanga Loa & Ryusuke Taguchi VS Great-O-Khan & Callum Newman; Loa & Taguchi win.
  • Six Man Tag: YOSHI-HASHI, Toru Yano & Hiroyoshi Tenzan VS Bullet Club; Bullet Club wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: Shota Umino, El Phantasmo, Hikuleo & YOH VS The House of Torture; Shota, ELP, Leo & Yoh win.
  • Six Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS The United Empire; LIJ wins.
  • 2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: Yota Tsuji VS EVIL; Tsuji wins and advances to the finals.
  • 2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: SANADA VS Hirooki Goto; Goto wins and advances to the finals.

PLAY BY PLAY

2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: Yota Tsuji VS EVIL w/ Dick Togo!

The Gene Blast overcame the tricks Ren Narita tried, but that’s because the House of Torture was saving all the good stuff so they could slay the Rampaging Dragon. Will the deck be even more stacked to make sure Everything is Evil’s? Or will Yota be one step away from LIJ VS LIJ at Sakura Genesis?

Well, Dick is making his way out here, but where is Evil? Oh, there he is. No tricks just yet it seems. But then Yota DIVES onto Evil! The fans fire up but Dick attacks Yota! Dick whips, Yota stops himself, and then scoops Dick for a BACKBREAKER! The fans fire up and Yota wants the bell. The ref says yes, ring the bell, and this is on the record! Yota stomps and CLUBS Evil, then whips, but Evil reverses! Yota hits railing, and then Evil whips him into more railing! Evil CHOKES Yota against the railing, Yota fights back, but the ref gets knocked aside! Evil puts Yota in so he and Dick can stomp away!

The fans boo but here comes the rest of the House already! Narita, Yujiro, Kanemaru and Jack all stomp away on Yota, but here come Bushi & Hiromu! It’s a replay of yesterday as LIJ fights off the House, but the numbers are still against them! The ref rushes in to tell everyone to stop! Evil shoves the ref out of the ring, Yota fires off on him, but Evil CLAWS Yota’s eyes! The House CHOKES LIJ, but the ref says stop! The bell rings, but what is the decision!? NO CONTEST!?

No Contest

What does this mean!? Someone has to advance, right? The finals aren’t until the 20th, how can there be a no contest? The House started this, where’re the consequences?! Yota gets up but Evil TOSSES him back out! LIJ regroups and Yota asks for a mic. Yota tells Evil that he’s sick and tired of this! They ARE gonna finish this match! The fans like the sound of that! All the refs come out, including Red Shoes, to discuss how this will be handled. For starters, they tell all the extras to get outta here! LIJ is cool with that, and Hiromu tells the House to come along. Evil says fine, and Jack, Kanemaru, Narita, Yujiro and even Dick reluctantly exit.

The announcement is officially made, and the bell rings! Yota and Evil rush in, Evil kicks low but Yota CLUBS away on Evil! Evil CLAWS the eyes! Evil kicks, runs, RAMS, but Yota rebounds to run Evil over! Then run and SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Yota fires up and the fans are with him! Evil bails out but the fans rally for Yota. Evil wants Yota to stay back, then he slides in, only to slide right out! Yota runs out after Evil, but Evil kicks him! Evil RAMS Yota into the timekeeper! Abe-san and his table go flying! Evil gets the mic to tell Yota that this is what he gets! The fans boo but Evil tells them off, too! Evil stomps Yota then soaks up the heat.

Evil unties the blue buckle pad himself, then waits in the ring. The ref checks Yota and the fans rally up again. The Young Lions help Abe-san while Yota drags himself up. Yota slides in, the fans cheer, but Evil pulls on Yota’s hair! Evil wrenches the hair, then wrenches it again! And again! Evil CLUBS the hair! The ref reprimands but Evil just dusts off his hands. Evil covers, but the ref refuses to count! Evil is furious but he’s the one up to no good! The ref still says no, so Evil stands on Yota’s head. The fans rally up, Yota rises, and he grins as he winds up to ROCK Evil with a forearm! And ROCK him with another!

Yota ROCKS Evil again, but Evil whips him into the bare buckles! Yota falls and the ref reprimands about the missing buckle pad. Evil stomps Yota, covers, TWO! The fans cheer but Evil is annoyed. Evil scuffs Yota, taunts him, and drags him up. Evil CHOPS, Yota drops to his knees, but Evil stands him back up. Evil CHOPS again and Yota grits his teeth as he drops to his knees! Evil stands Yota up again, to fake the chop to CLAW the eyes! The ref reprimands, Evil lets off, and then Evil stands on Yota in a corner. The ref counts, Evil lets go of the ropes but that’s not the problem! Evil steps away, drags Yota up but claims he’s dead weight.

The ref checks, Evil stands Yota up and wrenches an arm. Evil whips Yota into a corner, runs in, but into a BOOT! Evil runs in again, blocks the boot, but Yota brings Evil in for the STOMP! The fans fire up while Yota rests on the mat. The fans rally up and Yota rises again. Evil’s in the corner, runs out, but into the BACKBREAKER! COMPLETE SHOT! STOMP! The fans fire up again as Yota stands back up. Yota runs, to CURB STOMP!! Yota roars and the fans fire up again! Evil flounders while Yota aims. Yota runs in, but the ref is used as a shield! Evil kicks Yota low, then uses the ref in MAGIC KILLER!

All three men are down while the fans rally up again. Evil stands, he brings Yota up, and the ref also rises. Evil whips Yota into the bare buckles, then clotheslines him in! Then FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, but Evil lets off?! Evil wants to torture Yota but it’s hard to say if Yota is still even in this. Yota opens his eyes, rises up, but Evil fireman’s carries! DARKNESS FALLS! Cover, TWO!! Yota survives, the fans fire up, but Evil is furious! Evil slashes his throat and vows to end this now! Evil drags Yota up, spins him around, but Yota fights the STO with elbows! Evil kicks low, whips again, but Yota stops from hitting buckles!

Evil runs in, Yota dodges and Evil hits the buckles! SUPERKICK!! Both men are down again and the fans fire back up! We’re only ten minutes into this new match but this is on top of the madness from earlier. Evil drags Yota up, but Yota ROCKS Evil! Evil fights Yota’s fireman’s carry and CLUBS him, but both men wobble. Evil LARIATS, but Yota stays up! The fans fire up but Evil swings to LARIAT again! Yota drops to a knee, but he grins through the pain! Evil says alright, and he throws off his elbow pad. Evil runs to LARIAT! Yota grits his teeth to stay up! V-TRIGGER! Yota brings Evil in, suplexes, ORANGE CRUSH! Cover, TWO!!

Evil is still in this but the fans rally behind Yota again. Yota rises, drags Evil up, and then goes to the corner. Yota goes up and up and Evil moves the ref into the way! The ref takes the FLYING CURB STOMP!!! And now the House returns! The fans boo as Kanemaru, Dick, Yujiro, Narita & Jack all stomp away on Yota again! The fans tell them to go home, again, but these guys don’t care! They just put one out on Yota. They whip Yota to a corner, then DIck runs in to ELBOW! Kanemaru ELBOWS! Yujiro BOOTS! Jack SPLASHES! Narita ELBOWS! Then they snapmare and set Yota up! Dick climbs for the DICK CHOP!!

The fans boo but the House applauds their own dirtiness. But here come Bushi & Hiromu again! But they just get mugged again! They set Hiromu up for the DICK CHOP, while Bushi gets a JACK CHOP! The House then slithers away before a replacement ref rushes out here. Evil drags Yota up, winds up and runs, to LARIAT!! Cover, TWO!!! Yota survives and the fans are thunderous! Evil is at a loss for words, but he slashes his throat! He vows to end it for real, and he reels Yota in. EVERYTHING IS- Yota flips through!? And HEADBUTTS!! The fans fire up as Yota reels Evil in for a fireman’s carry! 70 CROSS!! Cover, TWO!!

Evil survives the swinging spinebuster and the House cheers! Yota drags himself to a corner, drags himself up with the ropes, and roars as he takes aim! Evil rises, but Yujiro distracts! Dick runs in, but gets a V-TRIGGER! The ref sees Dick, but misses the LOW BLOW! Then Evil RAMS Yota into the ref! That’s the second ref this match! Narita gets his push-up bar! The others set Yota up, but here comes SHINGO TAKAGI! The Rampaging Dragon has seen enough, and he’s still pissed from yesterday as it is! He dodges Narita to PUMPING BOMBER! Kanemaru & Yujiro kick Takagi, double whip, but he DOUBLE PUMPING BOMBERS!!

Jack gets in, but he gets ELBOW, JAB and YUKON LARIAT! Evil runs up but Takagi SWATS Evil’s lariat to JAB! Then feed to Hiromu’s SUPERKICK! Hiromu & Takagi set Evil up for Bushi’s BLACK MIST!! Evil can’t see, the PUMPING BOMBER turns him inside-out!! The fans are thunderous as LIJ helps Yota up! Red Shoes hurries out here, and Yota aims at Evil! GENE BLASTER!!! Cover, Yota wins!!!

Winner: Yota Tsuji, by pinfall (advances to the finals)

The House of Torture ran out of tricks, and now there is light at the end of the tournament! Will Yota do LIJ proud and bring home the Cup?

 

2024 New Japan Cup Semifinals: SANADA VS Hirooki Goto!

One down, one to go. Yota Tsuji has made it through, now we see who joins him in the finals! Will the Cold Skull or Fierce Warrior be the one that steps closer to former glory?

The bell rings and the fans duel between “GO-TO-O!” and “SA-NA-DA!” Red Shoes measures the levels, and it seems to slightly favor Goto. Goto and Sanada circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Goto gets some leverage to put Sanada against ropes, but he lets off slowly. Goto pats Sanada on the shoulders and the fans cheer. The two reset, circle again, and tie up again. It’s another deadlock, but again Goto finds a way to put Sanada on ropes. Sanada turns things around, lets off slowly, and also pats Goto on the shoulders. The fans applaud and the two reset again. They feel things out, knuckle lock, then move to a clinch.

They fight for control, Sanada starts pushing Goto towards a corner but Goto slips away. They feel things out, knuckle lock again, then break. They tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, Goto waistlocks, but Sanada wrenches to wristlock. Goto rolls, wrenches, wristlocks, but Sanada spins, wrenches, only for Goto to roll! Goto gets a leg to trip Sanada up, and he has a toehold. Sanada fights back with a chinlock but Goto pulls on the leg. Sanada uses his free leg to hook Goto into an ARMBAR, but Goto clasps hands! Goto moves around, pops free, then headlocks. Sanada fights up, Goto grinds the headlock, but Sanada throws body shots.

Sanada powers up and out, but Goto runs him over! The fans rally as things speed up, and Goto counters hip toss with hip toss! Goto runs and he clotheslines Sanada up and out! The fans fire up and Goto slides out after Sanada. Goto stomps Sanada, drags him up, then CLUBS him on the neck! Sanada staggers, Goto CHOPS him, then kicks him, then CLUBS him! Goto whips but Sanada stops himself from hitting railing! Goto runs in but Sanada drop toeholds him into the railing! Goto goes down in a heap, but Sanada opens the gate. Sanada brings Goto through, then to the crowd! PILEDRIVER to the bare floor!

The fans are stunned but Red Shoes reprimands. Sanada leaves Goto behind and slides into the ring. The fans rally for Goto as the ring count begins. Goto crawls at 5 of 20, finds his way to ringside at 10, but still hobbles and crawls. He stands at 17 to slide in! The fans cheer, but Sanada stomps Goto. Sanada drags Goto up, CLUBS him on the neck, then brings him back up to CLUB him again. Goto CHOPS! And CHOPS! Sanada eggs Goto on so Goto CHOPS again! Goto whips, Sanada reverses to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Cover, TWO! Sanada keeps cool and sits Goto up into a chinlock. Goto endures and the fans rally again.

Goto kicks forward, reaches out, but Sanada cranks on the hold! Goto keeps fighting, and has the ROPEBREAK! Sanada lets go cleanly, but then he stomps Goto while he’s down. Sanada then stands Goto up to CLUB him on the neck. Goto CHOPS in return! And CHOPS, and CHOPS, and has Sanada in a corner! Goto CHOPS again, then whips corner to corner. Goto runs in, but Sanada BOOTS first! Sanada runs, Goto follows, and Goto LARIATS Sanada down! The fans fire up and Goto rises, clutching his neck. Goto stands Sanada up to fire off forearms, then he whips corner to corner. Goto runs in, MURAMASA!

Sanada wobbles, into the SAIDO! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up while Goto grits his teeth. Goto drags Sanada up, fireman’s carries, but Sanada fights free! Sanada waistlocks, Goto throws elbows, then runs. Sanada hurdles, hurdles, and DROPKICKS! Goto tumbles out of the ring, Sanada PLANCHAS him down! The fans fire up and Sanada encourages them to get louder. The fans get louder and Sanada appreciates it. Sanada then goes back for Goto, brings him up and puts him in the ring. Sanada fireman’s carries but Goto throws elbows! Sanada turns around into Goto’s fireman’s carry, but then slips out into the dragon sleeper!

But Goto arm-drags free! Sanada kicks low, runs, but Goto follows! Sanada dodges this time, runs again, but Goto still follows! Sanada sidesteps this time, but Goto holds ropes to avoid the hurdle! Goto runs in, but Sanada fireman’s carries! T K O! Cover, TWO! Goto is still in this and the fans rally up! Sanada goes up the corner, ROUNDING BODY- NO, Sanada has to land out as Goto moves! Sanada runs in, but into the fireman’s carry! USHIGOROSHI! Both men are down and the fans fire up again! They cheer on “GO-TO-O!” but the “SA-NA-DA!” chants are still there. Red Shoes checks them both, and both men slowly rise.

The two crawl towards each other, and Goto fires a forearm! Sanada shakes his head, eggs Goto on, so Goto throws another! Goto eggs Sanada on, so Sanada fires a forearm! Goto fires a forearm back, and the two stand. Sanada UPPERCUTS! Goto comes back to forearm! Sanada UPPERCUTS again, and Goto drops back to a knee! The fans rally, Goto stands again, and he forearms! UPPERCUT, forearm, repeat! Goto growls, fires a flurry of forearms, and he ROCKS Sanada! Sanada drops to his hand and knees but Goto powers up! Goto KICKS but Sanada blocks! Goto fires more forearms, then waistlocks, but Sandaa fights free!

Sanada runs, but Goto fireman’s carries! And he throws Sanada into the dragon sleeper! But Sanada turns around and suplexes, for MAGIC SCREW! Both men are down again and the fans fire back up! Sanada roars as he rises up, and he aims from a corner. Sanada wants Goto to get up, and Goto sits up, into the SHINING WIZARD! Sanada then dragon sleepers, for the SKULL END!! Goto endures, flails, reaches out, but he’s caught in the body scissors! Goto fights around but he’s fading! The fans rally, Goto’s hand drops! Sanada lets him go to then climb! ROUNDING BODY PRESS! Cover, TWO!!

The fans fire up as Goto survives but Sanada storms around. Sanada drags Goto up, reels him in and clinches, but Goto slips free to shove Sanada away! Sanada forearms, ROLLING- HEADBUTT from Goto! The fans fire up and duel, and Goto drags Sanada up. But Sanada breaks free! Goto HEADBUTTS again! Sanada falls back down and Goto steadies himself. Goto roars, the fans are with him, and Goto sits Sanada up. Goto runs to PENALTY KICK! Shoutout to Shibata and the fans fire up more! Sanada grits his teeth as he sits back up but Goto takes aim! BUZZSAW! And then he hauls Sanada up to dragon sleeper! G T- BACKSLIDE COUNTER! TWO!!!

Sanada and Goto hurry up, Sanada dodges to O’Conner BRIDGE!! TWO?!!? Goto escapes and shocks everyone! Sanada resets, runs in, SHINING WIZARD!! The fans are thunderous as Sanada roars and drags Goto back up! Clinch and DEAD- NO, Goto slips around to ripcord and fireman’s carry! G T W!! Cover, TWO?!?!? Sanada survives but Goto is all fired up! The fans are thunderous as Goto dragon sleepers for G T R!!! Cover, GOTO WINS!!!

Winner: Hirooki Goto, by pinfall (advances to the finals)

Don’t call it a comeback, Goto’s been here for years! Sanada’s hopes of being IWGP World Heavyweight Champion again have been delayed, how long must he wait for another chance?

As for Goto, he’s going back to the New Japan Cup Finals for the first time since 2016, and his seventh overall! But before he can get the mic to speak, Yota makes his way back out here. Yota steps into the ring and he gets the mic first. Yota tells Goto, “In order to open the door to a new era, we must do this.” The fans applaud that, and Yota continues by asking Goto, “Are you ready?!” Yota drops the mic at Goto’s feet, and Goto stands up to speak. “I also have something I want to show you. As a three-time New Japan Cup Champion, I will show you my strength.” The fans like the sound of that!

The Fierce Warrior stares down with Gene Blast, a true generational showdown on the horizon! Will Goto return not juts to former glory, but finally ascend to top of NJPW? Or will Yota make it LIJ VS LIJ for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship?


My Thoughts:

A great semifinal round for this tournament, with quite a surprising main event. Sanada VS Goto was great stuff, and while I felt Sanada wasn’t winning the Cup, I didn’t think he’d be out this round. Yota VS Evil was rather creatively put together, too. I did not think the House would get so involved that at first it was a No Contest but then they restart under a ringside ban. Takagi making sure Yota won was good stuff, too, maybe we can get Takagi VS Evil for the NEVER Openweight Championship if they’re not gonna circle back to more Shota Umino VS House of Torture stuff.

Goto VS Yota is going to be great stuff, and Goto is clearly a top utility guy. He’s had so many New Japan Cup finals appearances, certainly among the most ever, but I don’t think he gets a fourth Cup win against Yota, one of the “new era Musketeers” that NJPW clearly loves. Yota VS Naito is definitely the title match for Sakura Genesis.

My Score: 8.9/10


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