CheapShots: Bryan’s Return And the Second Step in Texas

Cheap Shots are unfiltered, uncensored opinions, and those opinions reflect only the author!

I sit in a hovering pattern over Von Erich Country and begin to pick up decades old vibrations only sent by fans who frequented The Sportitorium, or wished they had done so. Outside of geographical correlation, goosebumps like these make no sense. After all, WWE is incapable of creating such a raucous reaction themselves, beyond the upcoming event in less than three weeks. I glide in for a closer look. A Stamford crowd, in full throat and unison; chanting one word, and pointing skyward can only mean one thing. I can count on one hand the performers who can burn through the well-earned cynicism of these sheep. The American Dragon tops the list. However, this reaction felt elevated. Rivaling those Kevin, Kerry and David got weekly almost 40 years ago. Daniel Bryan is BACK in the ring to compete! Even for a smartass like me, that is a great thing. Sometimes, the art form is very real!

Good luck coming down from that open. Here we go. In-ring action begins with Rusev tangling with Shinsuke Nakamura with Aiden English outside the ring and AJ Styles at commentary. Both athletes put on a typical physical match. Each held the advantage for a time. Rusev is over organically to the point where Vinnie is both pissed and scared. Hence, the reason he is in this needless foil position, as opposed to the US Gold picture replacing Jinder Mahal. Nakamura got the pin thanks to some quick chain wresting. The Songbird jumped in the ring to join The Bulgarian in a tandem attack. The Phenomenal one was excessively slow in helping the artist fend them off. Turns out, Nakamura didn’t need help. Backstage, Shinsuke had fun when AJ kept interrupting him. “You need more confidence…” Despite the language barrier, the dude oozes charisma.

Baron Corbin and Tye Dillinger worked for what felt like the 30^th time this year. The only thing that woke me up during this contest was a botched finish from Corbin, who won after a fast redo of The End of Days. There is a gif floating around of a victorious Lone Wolf shouting: “I’m so good, it’s not funny.” If The Heel With No Pulse honestly believes that, I can walk. Now that we all got through a very painful group project, it’s time for today’s first recess session involving A Hart, A Flair, and A Blondie Circus. This has gotten personal, and that’s hilarious.

Charlotte and Nattie cut a strained promo which saw The Queen of Hearts claim Charlotte couldn’t beat Asuka in New Orleans. Second Nature’s response? “Beat me tonight.” Let’s go! Echoing Bruce Prichard’s sentiments on both families: These ladies could both wrestle a broomstick and make it look good. They put on a rock-solid match despite its ending where Carmella came down and pretended to cash in her shield, I mean her briefcase, costing The Queen a win. Okay class, who remembers the confrontation I mentioned in my last article? Anybody else get someone in their WWE Twitter fortress to come out of hiding? Just me? Awesome! The cheerleader got irritated with lil’ old me for saying the obvious. Slightly zealous? Absolutely, outside of the previous two weeks, can anyone think of when she even had her last singles match? Even dudes who win the contract have singles matches. She “won” the reset before SummerSlam. Vince, I know sheep don’t matter to you. In that case, the burden of proof is on YOU! Pardon some of us who have seen enough. A briefcase by itself does not get someone over. Sir; next time you do this, make sure the girl can work alone.

That was a Big Show sized soapbox and a hell of a jump. Back on solid ground. Millennial marks, take a screen shot of the following statement. In the case of The Usos, The New Day, and The Bludgeon Brothers: a triple threat not only works, it is necessary. After a borderline baby face promo, there is no doubt who the heels in this math problem are. Harper took on Jimmy Uso one-on-one with each man’s partner at ringside. A very physical encounter ensued involving all four men. The Samoans pushed themselves from underneath, but Harper went over with a discus clothesline.

The US Gold triple threat match; on the other hand, is a typical case of lazy WWE booking. “I’m Indian, hate me and put me over regardless of my talent!” Until Rusev beats him up and takes his place, we are stuck with Jinder Mahal. The only redeeming quality of this snooze-fest took place when Randy Orton flat out told The Indian Brooklyn Brawler he sucked. Thanks Randall, we’ve been saying that for over five years. Pardon the mini-recess interjection. The Glow Worm and The Lass Kicker beat two-thirds of The Riott Squad. I’m calling my shot now, if there is a baby face in the group, Sarah Logan will be the one to turn. She is very physical and has a great look.

Entering the final segment, Daniel Bryan had to deal with what Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn did to Shane McMahon last week. The Canadians were late to the show and Bryan instructed them to meet him in the ring. They worked happiness over his return and thought smoothing things over would be simple. The bearded one reminded them of the threesome’s connected legacy and said that they did not need to beat Shane up because he gave them what they wanted on two fronts. He was taking a leave of absence after giving them a face-to-face match at WrestleMania. Though, due to their actions last week, they are both fired! Owens and Zayn went ape on Bryan, ultimately gaining a replay of the previous SmackDown Live. Before putting them over, he got several corner dropkicks and yes kicks off. The man hasn’t lost his fire, toughness or speed. We all know how firings work in WWE. I’m betting on a tag match pitting The SmackDown Brass against Owens and Zayn. Given the magnitude of Daniel Bryan’s competitive return, this show was fabulous! Hell, I know at least one Free Bird was proud last night, weren’t you Michael? Plane’s ready, our next departure is fast approaching. Thanks to all my passengers, and God Bless Texas!