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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (5/28/18)

Published

6 years ago

on

Only one woman can be the final Raw entrant!

Raw has room for one last entrant into the Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match, and it comes down to a Seven Woman GAUNTLET Match! Who will join Alexa Bliss, Ember Moon, Natalya, Charlotte Flair, Becky Lynch, Naomi & Lana? Plus, Jinder Mahal challenges Seth Rollins for his Intercontinental Championship!

 

All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Finn Balor VS Braun Strowman; No Contest.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: Seth Rollins VS Jinder Mahal w/ Sunil Singh; Mahal wins by disqualification, Rollins retains the Intercontinental Championship.
  • The Deleters of Worlds VS The Ascension; The Deleters of Worlds win.
  • Kevin Owens VS Bobby Roode; Kevin wins.
  • Drew McIntyre w/ Dolph Ziggler VS Chad Gable; McIntyre wins.
  • Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifying Gauntlet Match: Sasha wins and joins the Women’s MITB Ladder Match.

PLAY BY PLAY

WWE and Raw honor the fallen heroes this Memorial Day.

All Game Some. Some Gave All. Gone, But Not Forgotten.

 

BRAUN STROWMAN heads to the ring!

The Monster Among Men is in Virginia as we approach Money in the Bank. Strowman is one of the Raw entrants for the Men’s MITB Ladder Match, but tonight Strowman speaks to the crowd. “When I see that briefcase, I get motivated.” He’s motivated, because inside is a contract for a guaranteed Universal Championship opportunity anywhere at anytime! Strowman hears out the crowd as they chant “Get These Hands!” then vows to destroy seven other men at PPV before climbing up and taking the briefcase for his own. Then, Strowman will not just be Mr. Money in the Bank, but Mr. MONSTER in the Bank. “And who’s gonna stop me?” Certainly not Miz, Bobby Roode or Finn Balor. Nor anyone in the New Day or Rusev or Kevin Owens. Strowman vows to take the contract, cash in on Lesnar, and make sure Lesnar #GetsTheseHands!

But speaking of Finn, here he comes! The Extraordinary Man may have lost last week 1v1 to Strowman, but Finn has something to say. “I think you’re getting ahead of yourself there, big man.” Finn was the inaugural Universal Champion, and never actually lost it. That eats away at Finn, so Finn is “determined to get back to the top.” Finn will take back what is his. The two of them were 1v1, and Finn gave it his all. But at MITB, there’s gonna be six others, and every man for himself. Strowman admits Finn put up a good fight, “for a little guy.” Finn SLAPS Strowman! Strowman THROWS Finn! Before this goes any further, out comes Raw General Manager, Kurt Angle!

Angle tells Strowman and Finn that he sees intensity, one of his favorite I’s. He reminds them there will be four men from both Raw and SmackDown, and targeting their respective world champions. Finn gave it his all, and it was incredible, so perhaps Richmond would like to see a rematch! Richmond agrees, so here comes a ref!

 

Finn Balor VS Braun Strowman!

It’s a main-event caliber rematch from last week’s main event! Can the Extraordinary Man even the score with the Monster Among Men? Or will he #GetTheseHands and be flattened again?

Raw returns to see Kevin Owens joining commentary. Kevin watches up close as Strowman throws Finn across the ring again. Strowman dares Finn to stand, then tosses him again!

Strowman stalks over to Finn but Finn avoids the clubbing forearm. Finn dodges from the corner, but Strowman still hits him with a strong body shot. Kevin insists the other men in the MITB match are jealous while Strowman headbutts Finn down. Bobby Roode watches from backstage as Strowman gives Finn another body shot. Strowman whips Finn corner to corner hard, and Finn bounces off buckles to hit the mat. Strowman bumps Finn off his knee, then runs corner to corner, into boots! Finn gets moving but those forearm smashes do nothing to Strowman. Strowman clubs Finn down again!

Strowman punts Finn in the ribs, and Finn is gasping as he goes to the apron. Finn refuses to quit or stop the match, but he gets back in only to get another headbutt. Kevin vows to win no matter how many people are in the MITB match, but Finn fights Strowman only to get dropped by an uppercut. Strowman steps on Finn to cover, TWO. Finn gets to a corner but gets more body shots. Strowman whips him again, and hard as ever. Strowman shouts that Finn should just stay down, but Finn won’t listen. Finn drags himself up but Strowman toys with him. Strowman clubs Finn down again, but Finn dodges the body shot to dropkick! Finn fires up but Strowman boots him down! Kevin sarcastically cheers Strowman from the commentary booth with a microphone. Strowman glares at Kevin but punts Finn again while we go to break.

Raw returns and Finn dodges Strowman to chop away. Finn fires off body shots but Strowman turns things around. Finn still dodges, but the swing kick is blocked, and Strowman swats Finn down with a big right hand. Strowman goes out the far side to build up speed and… BARREL Finn into the audience!

Fans are thunderous for Strowman as he raises his hands triumphantly. Strowman fetches Finn and hauls him back to the ring. Finn slips down and shoves Strowman into the post! Finn slides into the ring while the count rises, then goes after STrowman upon his return. Strowman shoves him away but Finn blasts Strowman with the dropkick! Strowman ends up outside the ring, and Finn dropkicks him away again. Finn gets on the apron while Kevin mockingly cheers him now. That eggs Finn on, but into Strowman’s hand! Finn kicks him away, then FLIES!

Kevin takes credit for that, but Strowman puts Finn back in. Finn Slingblades Strowman, then dropkicks him down! Finn climbs, standing Coup de Grace! Strowman is down, Finn climbs up, COUP DE GRACE! But once isn’t enough, Finn goes up again, only for Kevin to attack!

No Contest

Kevin goes under the ring and brings out a ladder! Kevin uses the ladder on Finn’s ribs! Then he puts the ladder in the ring and targets Strowman. Strowman catches the ladder and shoves Kevin away! Strowman THROWS the ladder at Kevin, but Kevin manages to get away with his life.

The Monster roars while the Prizefighter flees. Will anyone else have a chance at the contract with the #MonsterintheBank in the match?

 

Kevin is making a break for it.

He has his luggage packed but he needs his key from the valet. There’s no time for the ticket, just get his keys! Angle asks where Kevin is going. Well it’s Memorial Day, he doesn’t want to miss the parade. Kevin, you’re Canadian. And he has a match, against Bobby Roode. Kevin reluctantly goes back to the locker room, to prepare for the GLORIOUS One.

 

Sasha Banks speaks.

The Money in the Bank match can help The Boss rewrite history. The contract has her name written all over it, but first she has to get through the Gauntlet. Gauntlets require skill, guts and luck, and the first two she has. But you don’t need luck when you’re The Boss.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.”

The Drifter is in Richmond, and he asks his same question, “Who Wants to Walk with Elias?!” Richmond has a decent reaction. Elias says tonight’s song is special to him, because it just came to him, “it’s a bit of magic.” However, it will require his concentration. They may be in the South, but please try to keep up. Elias begins, but has to stop. Normally this lighting is fine, but the crowd is “particularly disgusting”, so he has the spotlight focus even more on him.

Elias begins again, but brings something else up. Bring the vocals up so he can hear more Elias, less Richmond. Maybe soften the guitar, too. “I love Elias”, “Yes I do.” Okay there it is. Doing everyone’s job. Elias is so impressed with himself. But one more thing: Elias needs complete silence. Fans boo and jeer louder. Please, shut your mouths or else Elias will sit here all night. Fans continue to boo and jeer. Elias decides to leave, we go to break.

Raw returns, and Elias is still in the ring. He cooled off because he knows the fans need this song. He just wants them shut their mouths, or else he’ll leave again. The fans don’t settle down, and even chant “Leave! Leave!” But instead, out comes The Architect!

And fans chant a thank you as Seth Rollins tosses Elias’ stool out of the ring. Fans again chant “Leave! Leave!” and Elias reluctantly gives up the ring to the champion.

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Seth Rollins VS Jinder Mahal w/ Sunil Singh!

The Modern Day Maharaja may have a grudge with The Big Dog, but Roman Reigns’ fellow Shield Brother stepped up to fight Mahal alongside him. Mahal upped the aggression with chair shots, and now has himself a title match against The Kingslayer. Will Mahal check off another title? Or will #MondayNightRollins #BurnItDown on his very own birthday?

The introductions are made, the title is raised, and the match begins. Rollins dropkicks Mahal to a corner, then fires off chops! He whips but Mahal reverses, only for Rollins to crossbody and throw hands. Mahal slips out of the ring but Rollins slingshots out onto him! Fans fire up while Rollins puts Mahal back in the ring. Singh distracts, and Mahal blasts Rollins to the barriers. The challenger gets control while we go to break.

Raw returns and Mahal has Rollins in a rear bearhug. Fans rally while Rollins endures the squeeze. Rollins reaches back and punches his way out. Rollins headbutts and lifts but Mahal slips out to slam Rollins with a back suplex. Cover, TWO, but Mahal keeps his focus. Mahal drags Rollins up into an abdominal stretch, and bends Rollins back. Rollins endures and pops out but Mahal blocks the hip toss. Rollins runs but into a kitchen sink knee! Fans jeer as Mahal stomps away on Rollins. Mahal grins and mocks the fans who praise Rollins. Mahal waits for Rollins to stand, then runs in, but into the buckle shot! Both men are down but Rollins gets himself up and to a corner. Rollins boots Mahal away, then jumps over to run, for a Slignblade! Rollins clotheslines Mahal out, then builds speed to DIVE!

Fans fire up for Rollins as he takes Mahal down. The referee counts, but Rollins gets Mahal up and in before 5. He boots Mahal away, then hops up, for a blockbuster! Cover, TWO, and Sunil is relieved for Mahal. Rollins gets himself back up, and fans rally behind him. Rollins runs in at Mahal, but is put on the apron. He springboards but Mahal gets under, to fireman’s carry gutbuster drop! Cover, TWO! Mahal and Sunil are furious, but Mahal keeps his focus. Mahal stalks Rollins, cobra clutch but Rollins arm-drags out! Rollins mule kicks, but Mahal dodges the stomp. Mahal scoops but Rollins slips out and rolls up, TWO, SUPERKICK! Falcon Arrow! Cover, TWO! Both men are down but fans are rallying up again. Mahal stirs, but Rollins kips right up!

Rollins fires himself up, “Burn It Down! Burn It Down!” Rollins aims at Mahal, mule kick and… Sunil tries to trip him! Mahal slips away and recovers, but the referee ejects Sunil! But Mahal uses a chair to the ribs!

Cover, TWO!! Mahal is shocked and furious again because his cheat didn’t work. But he fires himself up while fans cheer Rollins on. Mahal grabs Rollins but Rollins PELE! Sunil returns, but gets yanked into the ring! Mahal runs in but gets a SUPERKICK, then Rollins throws Sunil in a Buckle Bomb at Mahal! All three men go down, but Rollins still has energy. Rollins spots that chair Mahal used, and grabs it for his own. Rollins enters the ring, and USES IT!

Winner: Mahal, by disqualification; Rollins retains title

Champion’s Advantage keeps the belt with Rollins, but he gets to fire off on Mahal! Mahal ends up out of the ring with that last shot, but Rollins pursues.

Rollins SMACKS Mahal up the ramp and to the stage, but Sunil helps out. Sunil gets a SMACK for his efforts, and Mahal runs away! The Architect still reigns, but is his own fight with the Maharaja only just beginning? But wait, Elias returns and BLASTS Rollins off the announce desk with his guitar!!

Rollins flies all the way to the ground, and Elias just glares down at him. What has Elias done?!

Raw returns as medics attend to Rollins.

Rollins is taken away on a stretcher, with a neck brace. Rollins doesn’t want to go, and gets up off the stretcher, despite everyone’s advisement. Fans cheer as Rollins stands up, but he still needs help walking to the back. Will Rollins be alright? What will the consequences be for Elias?

 

Nia Jax heads to the ring.

The Irresistible Force that is the Raw Women’s Champion, is interrupted by Ronda Rousey!

The challenger goes to commentary while the champion goes to the ring for her match. But Nia says she’s happy to see Ronda is here. Ronda gets to see what will happen to her at Money in the Bank. Nia wants her opponent to demonstrate that thing Ronda does. What’s it called? Oh yeah, the armbar. Nia lets the opponent put on an armbar, but then Nia deadlifts and POWERBOMBS her.

Ronda admits Nia is much stronger than any opponent she’s had, but she’ll still get it on. Nia says armbars don’t do a thing to her, if Ronda can even get it on. Nia knows her opponent still has more in her, and then she picks her opponent up for a Samoan Drop! But Nia doesn’t end it there. She knows she can, but she wants Ronda to see what else she can do. Nia runs and hits the Irresistible Leg Drop! Count to ten, 20, 40, “she’s not getting up.” But Ronda has never faced something like that. If Nia wanted to, her leg could crush someone’s chest. But so can this. An Irresistible SENTON!

Ronda simply grins as Nia says her opponent needs assistance. Maybe Ronda can help her? Fans cheer “YES! YES!” but Nia tells the ref “No! No!” Ronda should be the one to help Nia’s opponent. Ronda stands up and heads to the ring. Fans cheer as Ronda enters and circles with Nia. Fans are on Ronda’s side, but Nia sees it now. That’s “the look”. It’s pretty good, but Nia isn’t so easily intimidated. “In fact, I find it quite… humorous.”

Nia laughs and says it’s cute, then decides to leave. Nia is playing games now, but will she come to regret laughing at the Baddest Woman on the Planet?

 

Dana Brooke crunches the number.

Sasha was right that it takes luck in a Gauntlet Match. Seven women, random order, and all the different ways to lose, it would take a statistical sorceress to do the math. Luckily Dana is that woman. Can Dana find the mathematical answer to success?

 

The Deleters of Worlds VS The Ascension!

The WONDERFUL Raw Tag Team Champions have arrived in Richmond to DELETE the opposition! Will Konnor & Viktor bring Bray & Matt to the Wasteland? Or will they be rendered OBSOLETE?

The bell rings and Bray starts with Viktor. They tie up, and Bray powers Viktor to a corner but Viktor foreamrs and puts on a headlock. Bray powers out, Viktor elbows Bray away, but Bray uses his spider-walk to spook Viktor. Viktor runs in but into the lariat! Bray whips Viktor and tags in Matt, who whips Bray in to splash Viktor. Matt brings Viktor down with an edge-o-matic, then says “DELETE! DELETE!” Matt hits Konnor for good measure but Viktor pounces. Viktor stomps away on Matt, then tags Konnor in. The Ascension double body shot and club Matt then kick him down. Cover, TWO, but Konnor keep son Matt with haymakers. Konnor drops the elbow, then covers, TWO. Konnor keeps Matt down with a chinlock, but Bray and fans rally for Matt.

Matt stands up and fights back, but Konnor keeps the headlock, Matt suplexes but Konnor holds the chinlock! Cover, ONE, but Konnor brings Matt up for elbows. Konnor whips Matt corner to corner, then blocks him from getting to Bray. Matt fights back but Konnor brings him down with a headlock takeover. Fans rally and Matt fights out but Konnor throws him to ropes. Matt boots Konnor back but Viktor tags in. Viktor misses, Matt tags Bray! Bray rallies, palm strikes and uppercuts to Viktor. Bray runs corner to corner but into boots, only to hit Viktor with the spinning lariat and a senton. Konnor breaks the cover but Matt comes in, Konnor lifts Matt but Matt hits the Twist of Fate! Matt then clotheslines Konnor out, Viktor rolls Bray, TWO!

Bray yurinagi slams Viktor down! Bray again uses his spider-walk, and tag to Matt. Together, they give Viktor the #KissOfDeletion! Matt covers, The Deleters win!

Winners: The Deleters of Worlds (Hardy & Wyatt), Hardy pinning

This WOKEN Yin-yang brings balance to the Raw Tag Team Division, but who will be the next up for DELETION!?

 

Kurt Angle meets with The B Team.

The B Team don’t see what’s so big about the celebration of The Deleters. But they get to business: they want a match for the titles. They’re undefeated and they’re ready! Yes, 2-0 against Breezango, but that’s not enough for a title match. Axel is frustrated. But Angle can’t let them leapfrog the division. So then The B Team has to get everyone’s blessing? No… Is Axel thinking what Bo is thinking? No, because he’s upset at that jerk, Angle! Angle’s still in the room, guys. Bo keeps everyone calm and says that to get their blessing, they have to give the teams something. Like an invitation to The B Team Memorial Day tag Team BBQ! Yes, that’s perfect! No, not at all… The B Team springs into action, will they succeed in earning a Raw Tag Team Championship match?

 

The Riott Squad speaks.

Or rather, they just enjoy tearing up the other women’s merchandise. The Squad doesn’t care about luck, odds, because they’re a “unity of mutiny.” They’re a pack, and they’ll tear the others apart. This may be a last chance, but no one gave the Squad a chance. “And we’re gonna make them all regret it.” The final spot belongs to the Squad.

 

Kevin Owens VS Bobby Roode!

Kurt Angle knows The GLORIOUS One heard the Prizefighter’s comments earlier in the night. Both men will be part of the Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder match, who will get a leg up on the other here tonight?

The bell rings and they tie up right away. Roode gets the headlock and holds on as Kevin tries to power out. Kevin elbows out then puts on his own headlock, but Roode pries his way out. Kevin throws Roode down, then puts the hold back on. The fans duel between them, but Roode fights out, only for Kevin to run him over. Things speed up, and Roode runs Kevin over in return. Roode throws hands on Kevin in a corner, then whips him corner to corner but Kevin reverses. Roode goes up and over, but Kevin escapes the DDT. Kevin throws Roode to ropes but Roode holds on to then throw Kevin out.

Roode clobbers Kevin to the apron, then slingshots over. Kevin evades then sweeps the legs! Roode hits the floor, and Kevin puts him into barriers. Kevin refreshes the count, then runs in for a CANNONBALL! The Prizefighter is in control while we go to break.

Raw returns as Kevin clubs Roode in the ring. Kevin saws Raw is his show, then whips Roode to run him over with an elbow. Kevin goes for but misses the back senton, and now clutches his head. Roode and Kevin slowly stand, and Roode blocks punches to give punches. Kevin kicks low, then both men go to a corner. Kevin runs in but into an elbow from Roode. Roode boots Kevin away, then hops up for the GLORIOUS Blockbuster.

Cover, TWO, but Roode keeps his focus. Roode stands up and runs in to clothesline Kevin in a corner, but Kevin denies the neckbreaker for a moment with the fireman’s carry. Roode slips down, neckbreaker! Cover, TWO! Roode goes to the top rope while Kevin stands. Kevin trips Roode up with a bump of the ropes! Kevin throws hands then climbs up to join Roode. Fans duel again while they brawl for control. Roode sends Kevin down, then leaps for the flying clothesline! Fans fire up with Roode as he winds it up… But Kevin escapes the ring. Roode pursues and runs Kevin over on the ramp!

Roode puts Kevin in the ring, but runs into a SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO! Kevin grows frustrated, but he keeps on Roode. He throws Rood to ropes but Roode avoids the pop up. Kevin denies the DDT with a back drop. Roode sunset flips but Kevin sits on the cover, Kevin wins!

Winner: Kevin, by pinfall

The Prizefighter wins, but here comes BRAUN!! Kevin’s fear returns with Strowman’s reappearance. Roode points at Kevin, this is what he gets. Kevin runs but Strowman pursues around the ring. Roode blocks Kevin’s path, and Strowman grabs Kevin! Strowman puts Kevin in the ring, and BARRELS through him! Roode is enjoying what he sees as Strowman gives Kevin a MONSTER Slam! Strowman roars and Roode celebrates, but then Strowman keeps going with a second Monster Slam. Then he grabs Roode for one of his own! Remember: It’s every man, and monster, for himself at MITB.

 

Sami Zayn heads to the ring.

The Underdog promised to bring Bobby Lashley’s three sisters to the show last week to expose the truth about the Dominator’s childhood. However, not only did he not bring Lashley’s sisters, Sami didn’t impress or amuse anyone with his idea of a comedic parody. Sami wishes to be serious as he admits nothing last week went as he hoped. He went too far and management has been gracious enough to let him apologize publicly. Sami pulls out his notes and reading glasses, and says “To the WWE Universe and the entire Lashley Family”, he knows what he did came off as something in “pour taste.” Sami’s interview was “cringe worthy” and embarrassed his own fans. Everyone asked what Sami was thinking. Even that 30 year old man being evicted from his parents’ apartment in New York thinks Sami should be ashamed.

Sami realized that he did what he promised to never do: lie. Those were obviously not the Lashely sisters. They were men that Sami hired to dress up and have fun at Lashley’s expense. Therefore, Sami wishes that both the Lashley family, the company and the fans know he… He’s sorry. However, it should be noted that what was said was true. Sami’s “art” was rooted in reality, but obviously no one here would understand that. History will look back “favorably” on that skit last week. Sami is the one doing the right thing! Sami speaks the truth about Lashley being a bully, yet he catches the flack? If anyone should be sorry, it’s everyone else feeling sorry for Sami. They should apologize to him, because he deserves better, more and to be in the MITB Ladder Match or facing Rollins for the Intercontinental Champion, instead of apologizing to Richmond.

But here comes Lashley! Lashley says Memorial Day has always been a special day for his family. For any and all military families, Lashley salutes and thanks them. Fans thank Lashley with chants of “USA! USA!” But Sami, good to see you again. Lashley’s real sisters thought that was entertaining last week. But stuff like that gets old fast. Clearly there’s an issue here, so maybe they can just settle this like men, in the ring, at Money in the Bank! What does Sami think? Fans chant “YES! YES!” Sami talks big, so he should back it up and shake Lashley’s hand. Sami shakes hands with Lashley, but Sami says he’s gonna Helluva Kick Lashley’s smile right off his face.

Lashley’s smile disappears now, and he doesn’t let Sami go. Sami says that hurts, but Lashley apologizes for what he’s going to do to Sami at MITB. Lashley lets Sami go, but he won’t have to be nice to Sami at MITB. Will Sami survive his match against the Dominant One?

 

Mickie James speaks.

Her competition crunches numbers and hunts in packs, but she has her eye on the prize. Mickie knows what to do to get there. It’ll take more than friends, luck and guts. Mickie is not a six-time champion by accident, she knows how to seize opportunities.

 

Raw advertises for the Cruiserweight Championship match on tomorrow’s 205 Live.

The match is between the Soul of 205 Live and the Australian Antagonist, but it happens in the champion’s home state. Can the #AgeOfAlexander survive the Cruiserweight Juggernaut that is Buddy Murphy?

 

Drew McIntyre w/ Dolph Ziggler VS Chad Gable!

The Olympic Medalist lost to the Show-Off last week, but the Celtic Colossus felt the need to add on afterward. Now McIntyre and Gable have a match to see if McIntyre and Ziggler are right about today’s superstars not being hungry enough. Can Gable avoid the sweep and get a major win here tonight?

The bell rings, and Gable grabs a leg. McIntyre tosses him off but Gable comes back. Gable gets the waistlock but McIntyre elbows him away to then throw him down. McIntyre stalks Gable to a corner and unloads sharp chops. He says Gable’s not on his level, but then Gable turns it around and throws more forearms! The referee backs Gable off but McIntyre boots him down! McIntyre rains rights down on Gable, then drags Gable up and into a suplex! Cover, TWO, but McIntyre keeps on Gable with an armlock. Gable endures, then stands up, only for McIntyre to shovel him up and over. McIntyre keeps on that armlock but Gable won’t quit. Gable stands up again and fights back with body shots.

McIntyre scoops but Gable slips out. McIntyre holds ropes and elbows Gable away to then power him to a corner. He THROWS Gable overhead, then watches Gable writhe on the mat. Ziggler wants McIntyre to finish this, so McIntyre carries Gable to the top rope. Gable fights back, and McIntyre staggers down. MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! McIntyre tosses Gable out of the ring, then pursues. Gable elbows McIntyre away, then again. Gable dodges, rolling kick rocks McIntyre. McIntyre puts Gable on the apron but Gable climbs and leaps! McIntyre catches Gable to then toss him into the post!

Ziggler says “that’s how it’s done!” while McIntyre puts Gable back in the ring. McIntyre takes aim at the floundering Gable, and hits the CLAYMORE! Cover, McIntyre wins.

Winner: McIntyre, by pinfall

Ziggler celebrates with McIntyre as the duo completes the sweep. The Show-Off and the Stud keep winning, will they find themselves headed for the Raw Tag Team Championships?

 

The B Team Memorial Day BBQ begins!

Bo and Axel have all the other tag teams of Raw with them in the ring and eating up. The Wasteland doesn’t have a spread like this, huh? It’s all the best B Team treats: baked beans; bratwurst; Bo-tato chips; Bo-logna sandwiches; and Bo Dogs! “Dig in!” And now that we’re all friends, let’s all agree that The B Team, being undefeated, should challenge Bray Wyatt & Matt Hardy. Umm, no. This bootleg backyard barbecue ain’t got no ribs, mac ‘n’ cheese, and none of this is in season. There’s no way the B Team is cutting in line. Yes? No. Yes! But Slater brings up that this is a feast. In West Virginia, this would be a Thanksgiving dinner! Rhyno’s still eating. Therefore, it’s good food. But Slater agrees, B Team ain’t cutting in line.

Fine, they don’t deserve a shot. Then they’re taking the food back. Yes, the brats, the bologna, the BEANS! All over Bo’s head. And the Bo-slaw is all over Axel! Then it’s a FOOD FIGHT! Beans, brats, dogs, bologna, it’s everywhere! And then Rhyno stops eating, to feed the fans. The B Team return to the ring, and go after the ManBeast! They clear a table and set it up, to double choke slam Rhyno through it!

The B Team may be undefeated at 2-0, but they’re far from #1 contenders. What will it take for them to earn a shot at the Deleters of Worlds?

 

The B Team go to Kurt Angle.

Bo and Axel complain about what happened during their BBQ, and demand a title match! The other teams just told them, they’re not cutting in line. Next week will be a Tag team Battle Royal, winners will face Bray & Hardy at MITB. Axel gives Angle a big messy hug, and The B Team heads out. Will Axel & Bo stay undefeated after a match against all the other teams?

 

Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifying Gauntlet Match!

This is the #LastChance to enter the Women’s MITB, and it’ll come down to the last woman standing. First up in the match is… Bayley!

How does Bayley feel about her odds since she’s starting? Regardless of the odds, Bayley never backs down and she won’t start now. Bayley apologizes to everyone else, sometimes the numbers don’t add up, and Bayley vows to be in the Ms. MITB ladder match. As for Sasha Banks, she thinks her name’s all over the contract, but Bayley wants her to take a closer look. The name on the contract reads Bayley! Her opponent: the Riott Squad’s Liv Morgan!

Bayley VS Liv Morgan!

The bell rings and the Gauntlet begins. Bayley ties up with Liv, Bayley2Belly immediately!

She ELIMINATES Liv!!

Bayley VS Sarah Logan!

The other member of The Riott Squad rushes the ring, runs at Bayley, but into a belly2belly. Sarah fights Bayley off but Bayley fights her off. Bayley hits a wrecking ball headscissors, then puts Sarah in to cover, TWO. Sarah gets to ropes but Bayley goes after her. Sarah hotshots Bayley but Bayley fights her back. Bayley whips but Sarah reverses into a suplex, cover, TWO. Ember Moon watches backstage as Sarah thrashes Bayley around. Sarah runs and hits Bayley with a sliding knee, cover, TWO. Sarah deadlifts Bayley, but Bayley wheelbarrows, and ELIMINATES Sarah! But Liv returns and the Squad gang up on Bayley. They mug the former women’s champion with knees, which leaves Bayley primed for…

Bayley VS Ruby Riott!

The Squad Leader heads to the ring while we go to break.

Raw returns and Ruby has Bayley in a chinlock. Bayley powers up and fights out, but Ruby knees low. Ruby whips Bayley but Byaley goes to the apron and forearms Ruby away. Slingshot sunset flip, TWO, and Ruby swings but ends up in a saido suplex. Both women are down while Alexa Bliss watches backstage. Bayley gets to a corner and boots Ruby away. Ruby yanks her down and hotshots the arm on the ropes. RIOTT KICK! Cover, Ruby ELIMINATES Bayley!

Ruby Riott VS Dana Brooke!

The Statistician Sorceress feels confident that she’s going this late, but Ruby is ready for her. Ruby stomps away, then puts Dana in a corner. Dnaa blocks the bump to fire off on Ruby, but the referee backs her off. Dana whips Ruby corner to corner, then handsprings for the back elbow. She drags Ruby up for a lariat! Cover, TWO, but Dana keeps on Ruby. She whips Ruby, but RIOTT KICK! Cover, Ruby ELIMINATES Dana!

Ruby Riott VS Mickie James!

The Wonder Woman of Richmond is ready! She drags Ruby out to then kick her in the ribs. She puts Ruby back in the ring but Ruby slips out the side. Mickie goes to the apron and LEAPS for the seated senton! Fans fire up with Mickie as she puts Ruby in the ring again. Mickie covers, TWO! Mickie keeps focus as she puts Ruby in a corner. Ruby hits back, then kicks Mickie. Ruby throws hands while fans chant “R V A!” Mickie elbows Ruby away, then hits the Mick-canrana! Dropkick on top, Mickie covers, TWO! Ruby gets out but Mickie baseball slides her down while we go to break.

Raw returns one last time as Ruby shoves Mickie. Mickie dodges and rallies on Ruby with lariats. Mickie waits for Ruby to stand, and hits the back kick. She whips Ruby but Rub reverses, only for Mickie to reverse back into a flapjack! Mickie kips up and the fans fire up! Mickie climbs up, and leaps at Ruby for the seated senton. Cover, TWO! Fans cheer for Mickie as she gets up and waits for Ruby again. Ruby dodges the Mick Kick but Mickie dodges the Riott Kick to jackknife cover. TWO, but Mickie goes for the DDT. Ruby rolls her up, has tights, and ELIMINATES Mickie!

Ruby Riott VS Sasha Banks!

The Legit Boss is lucky number 7, but Ruby is ready. Ruby runs into the crucifix pin, TWO, backslide, TWO. Sasha whips but Ruby reverses. Sasha goes up and over and rolls up, TWO, flying crossbody! TWO, but Sasha keeps on Ruby with an armlock. Ruby fights up and pulls hair. She stomps a foot then shoves, but Sasha comes back to tilt-o-whirl into a takedown! Ruby gets to ropes, it hot shots Sasha, then Complete Shot! Cover, TWO! Sasha gets to a corner but Ruby is on her with mudhole stomps. Ruby backs off and waits for Sasha to stand. She toys with Sasha, but Sasha slaps her back. Ruby bounces Sasha’s face off the mat, then covers, TWO. Ruby grows frustrated but bumps Sasha off buckles. Natalya watches backstage as Ruby chops Sasha. Sasha hits back, then drags Ruby into buckles.

Sasha runs back in but is put on the apron. She stuns Ruby with a knee, then flies with Meteora knees! Cover, TWO, and both women slowly stand. Ruby dodges in the corner, then goes for Deadly Nightshade, but Sasha throws her off. Sasha wants the backstabber, but Ruby holds ropes. Ruby elbows Sasha away, then yanks Sasha into ropes. Ruby runs up and rebounds into a DDT! Cover, TWO, and Ruby is frustrated. Ruby mule kicks, covers, TWO! Her rage boils up but Ruby keeps on Sasha. Ruby brings Sasha to a corner and hoists her up to the top rope. She climbs up to join Sasha while fans cheer Sasha on. Sasha resists and fights back, elbowing Ruby in the head. Sasha adjusts, tucks Ruby in, for a knee! Then POWERBOMB!

Cover, TWO! INTO Bank Statement! The Squad tries to save Ruby but they get kicked away. Ruby rolls Sasha, TWO, Bank Statement again! Ruby taps, Sasha wins!

Winner: Sasha, by submission; qualifies for the Women’s MITB Ladder Match

The Boss is in the Bank! Sasha had luck on her side, but now she has to use her skill and guts against Natalya, Ember Moon, Alexa Bliss, Lana, Charlotte Flair, Naomi & Becky Lynch. Will Sasha be the second-ever Ms. MITB?

 

 

My Thoughts:

Tonight’s Raw wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t great. It was just “good”. Opening with Strowman and Finn was good, and they were on pace to match last week’s main event, but I suppose it makes some sense for Kevin to interfere. In kayfabe, he doesn’t want either of them looking better than him before MITB. In booking, it keeps Finn and Strowman where they are as no one won or lost. Of course, Kevin faced the consequences as he barely beats Roode to then get wrecked by Strowman. Of course, Roode got wrecked, too, so Strowman is still the strongest entrant from Raw and even overall. It’ll take a lot for anyone else to win against him in the ladder match, and even more to get fans to go with it since Strowman is one of, if not the most over act, on the main roster.

The Intercontinental Championship match was great, and it was rather interesting for it to finish with the DQ. Elias being thrown into the mix must mean at least Elias VS Rollins at MITB. At most, it could end up morphing MITB into a Fatal 4 Way where Mahal and Roman join in. Roman was oddly absent tonight, but most fans will take that as a plus. I actually liked the Nia-Ronda segment where it was an “exhibition” and not a match. Nia uses the squashing of someone to actually make a point, even if Ronda doesn’t take it seriously. I still wish this wasn’t happening already, but what’s done is done. Sami’s “apology” was of course going to be halfhearted, but at least now we get a Sami VS Lashley. And I guess we’ll be getting Deleters VS B Team, though I still want Bo Wyatt to be a thing.

Gable VS McIntyre wasn’t quite equal with Gable VS Ziggler, but perhaps that’s to make a point about McIntyre’s power. This could easily lead to Jordan returning and them reuniting, but I oddly hope it doesn’t. Gable and Jordan need to be given chances as singles wrestlers. All the women gave good promos for the Gauntlet, I just wish WWE did something different with the Gauntlet. First, rearrange things. Sasha winning as seventh isn’t as awesome as her and Bayley starting, grinding it out and leaving the winner tired as they take on Dana, Mickie and the Squad. Second, I wouldn’t have had Sasha win, it’d be Ruby. The MITB has one true Heel now in Alexa Bliss. Granted, it’d mean The Squad shows up and helps her win, but isn’t that what Heels do? Plus, whether it’s Nia or Ronda, Ms. MITB wouldn’t do well cashing in without help.

My Score: 8/10


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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (12/4/23)

YEET!

Published

1 hour ago

on

December 4, 2023

By

Main Event Jey goes for gold!

While Drew McIntyre wants the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, it’s Jey Uso who gets his shot at Seth Rollins tonight on Monday Night Raw!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Drew McIntyre VS Sami Zayn; McIntyre wins.
  • Shayna Baszler VS Nia Jax; Nia wins.
  • Best 2 Out of 3 Falls: #DIY VS Imperium; wins.
  • The Creed Brothers w/ Ivy Nile VS JD McDonagh & Dominik Mysterio w/ Rhea Ripley; win.
  • Natalya & Tegan Nox VS Kayden Carter & Katana Chance; win.
  • Cody Rhodes VS Shinsuke Nakamura; wins.
  • WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Seth Rollins VS Jey Uso; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

Drew McIntyre is here!

The Scottish Warrior is ready to tear it all down, all because he didn’t get another title match with Seth Rollins when he wanted. But before he tears into Sami Zayn, McIntyres the mic to say, “It’s been awhile since I’ve done this, but welcome everybody to Monday Night Raw!” Fans cheer that! And McIntyre says Raw is the land where it feels like everyone’s lost their minds lately! “Liars, hypocrites, cowards, just plain idiots. Apparently, you can get fired, released, leave, do what you want for a bunch of time, come back, and you’re instantly forgiven these days!” Fans chant “CM PUNK!” but McIntyre says he could be talking about anyone.

Now, Rollins tried to pull a fast one on McIntyre. Rollins could’ve given the match to anyone, but McIntyre beat Jey Uso weeks ago. So Rollins sticks it to McIntyre, slaps him metaphorically, so he headbutts Rollins in his stupid face. And speaking of Jey, O M G, Jey can apologize! He ran to Randy Orton, tail between his legs, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Randy!” Well Jey, your time’s coming. And there’s someone McIntyre is forgetting. Oh, right! Sami Zayn! And wouldn’t you know? Here comes Sami! Fans cheer and sing Sami’s song as he makes his way to the ring, a mic of his in hand. The fans then chant for ‘SAMI! SAMI!” as he sits up top.

Sami tells McIntyre, he clearly has a lot to say about everybody, including Sami, so he may as well say it to Sami’s face. Oh, yes, McIntyre sure does. Last week, Sami wanted to say how alike they are, but they are not. McIntyre has something to say to Sami and it is the truth: Sami is the one person in the world who deserved to get screwed over by The Bloodline. The fans boo but McIntyre says he will explain. Sami was the Bloodline’s lapdog errand boy, he joined them because he was running away from McIntyre, and then what? Sami screwed Bloodline over! What did Sami think was gonna happen to him? Isn’t Sami supposed to be smart?

McIntyre says Sami deserved what he got, it’s the truth. Sami says McIntyre is right about one thing: Sami was wrong. Sami thought they were alike but the more Sami is seeing, the more “truth” he’s hearing, Sami realizes they are NOT anything alike! Sami is not a delusional person. He isn’t someone who points a finger at everyone else for his own shortcomings. And big difference here: When Sami lost in front of his family and let everyone down, he stayed hungry, driven and motivated and that carried him to victory in the main event of WrestleMania! Fans fire up for that! So Sami got his redemption. Sami got to make his family proud. Does McIntyre think he’s making his family proud?

McIntyre glares at Sami, and then says one of them is NOT walking out of here. Get a ref and ring the bell! Fans fire up as we get their match now! Will McIntyre absolutely explode after Sami set him off?

Drew McIntyre VS Sami Zayn!

The bell rings and fans are behind Sami in this one. Sami and McIntyre circle, then McIntyre RAMS Sami into a corner! And OVERHEAD Belly2Belly suplexes! McIntyre asks if it was a good idea to talk bad now. McIntyre ROCKS and DECKS Sami, then stalks him. Fans rally with “Let’s Go, Sami!” as he bails out. McIntyre pursues, and SMACKS him off the apron! McIntyre scoops Sami, but Sami slips free to POST McIntyre! Sami aims at the apron, McIntyre body shots and SMACKS Sami off the apron! McIntyre puts Sami in but Sami builds speed to FLY! Direct hit and down goes McIntyre! Fans fire up with Sami as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and fans rally as McIntyre has Sami in a motorcycle stretch. But Sami flips then BOOTS McIntyre away! But McIntyre CHOPS Sami back! Sami bails out, McIntyre pursues, but Sami kicks and CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Sami throws hands, whips, but McIntyre reverses. Sami goes up the barriers to QUEBRADA! Down goes McIntyre again and fans fire back up! The ring count climbs, the fans fire up with Sami, and Sami brings McIntyre around to put him in at 7 of 10. Sami slides in, but McIntyre LARIATS Sami back down! McIntyre seethes while fans boo, and McIntyre throws fists down on Sami!

Fans rally even harder for Sami and Sami sits up. McIntyre drags Sami up, to CHOP! Sami flops right back down, McIntyre grins, and he drags Sami up. McIntyre CHOPS and Sami wobbles around! Sami shakes his head, grits his teeth, and CHOPS in return! And CHOPS! McIntyre CHOPS and Sami falls over! McIntyre stomps Sami, smother shim, then stomps his head again! McIntyre stomps Sami’s leg, then stomps the other leg! McIntyre paces around Sami, waits on Sami to get up, and Sami goes to a corner. McIntyre runs in but Sami ELBOWS him away! Sami goes up, McIntyre runs in but into a BOOT!

Sami leaps, AX HANDLE! Sami fires up with the fans, he kicks McIntyre and reels him in, but McIntyre is a little too big to suplex! McIntyre suplexes, Sami slips free, then he lures McIntyre into the corner to POST him! Sami kicks and reels McIntyre in, to SUPLEX! Fans fire up while both men are down! Sami clutches the ankle, but he stands up to fire off haymakers! Sami whips, McIntyre reverses but Sami ducks ‘n ‘ dodges to tilt-o-whirl DDT! Cover, TWO!! McIntyre survives and Sami is stunned! Sami hurries to the apron while fans fire up! Sami climbs, leaps, but into an OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY! And then another OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY!

McIntyre hits a NECKBREAKER, then kips up! Fans are torn as McIntyre shakes the ropes. But then Sami clotheslines him up and out! Sami aims, and PLANCHAS! McIntyre catches him! And SLINGS him over the desk! Fans lose their minds and McIntyre seethes as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and McIntyre ELBOWS Sami, then Reverse Alabama Lifts! For the REVERSE ALA- NO, Sami victory rolls! TWO!! Sami runs up, into a SPINEBUSTER! Jackknife bridge, TWO!! But McIntyre deadlift POWERBOMBS! Cover, TWO!?! Sami survives and surprises even himself! The fans declare “This is Awesome!” but McIntyre snarls. McIntyre sits Sami up, fireman’s carries, and then goes up a corner! SUPER- NO, Sami flails and fights to a SUPER SUNSET FLIP BOMB!! Cover, TWO!! McIntyre survives and Sami is beside himself! Sami hobbles up, fans rally behind him and he brings McIntyre around.

Sami reels McIntyre in but McIntyre fights the lift! Sami CLUBS away on McIntyre and fans fire up! Sami tries again, BLUE- NO, McIntyre fights free to GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTT! McIntyre then aims from the corner! Sami flounders up as the countdown begins! “THREE! TWO! ONE!” BOOT from Sami! BLUE THUNDER BOMB!! Cover, TWO!! McIntyre survives again and Sami can’t believe it! “This is Awesome!” as Sami and McIntyre rise again. Sami throws a haymaker, McIntyre gives it back. They stand, Sami CHOPS! McIntyre CHOPS in return! Both men wobble, McIntyre CHOPS again! Sami BOOTS! And BOOTS!

Sami whips, McIntyre reverses but Sami goes up and over. The leg jams! The ref keeps McIntyre back but he storms in, Sami ELBOWS McIntyre, then TOSSES him out! Sami thinks about it, he wants to build speed but the leg won’t let him do it! McIntyre sees a target, and he gets in to CHOP BLOCK! The ref reprimands and backs McIntyre off. McIntyre just aims, to CLAYMORE!!! Direct hit and McIntyre covers, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

No mercy from McIntyre, and that is how he wins! Will the Scottish Warrior force everyone’s hands by fighting his way to a title opportunity?

 

Zoey Stark finds Shayna Baszler backstage.

The Queen of Spades is getting ready, but then Byron Saxton walks over to ask a few questions. Shayna faces a former tag partner in Nia Jax- Look, she has one goal tonight. Shayna put Nia on the shelf by breaking her arm. So she’ll remind Nia of that, limb by limb. Shayna heads out, Zoey follows. Will the Irresistible Force run into that immovable object again tonight?

 

Jey Uso speaks.

“Tonight, I have a chance to do something I thought I’d never be able to do again. A few months ago, I had a chance to dethrone the Tribal Chief and become the WWE Undisputed Universal Champion. That moment was ripped away from me by the one man in this world I love the most, my Day One. My own twin brother. Man, that hurt me more than you could ever know. I couldn’t be around this business anymore, I had to walk away. I really convinced myself I was done. Until I got a call from Cody Rhodes.” Cody told Jey he couldn’t quit, he could have a fresh start to be his own man. And the more Jey thought about it, the more he realized Cody was right.

Jey’s whole life, he’s fought for others. For Roman, for his brothers, for his father. From now on, Jey fights for HIS legacy. Before the Bloodline, before record-breaking reigns, before the Uso Penitentiary, before the Day One, before the dance, the face paint, FCW and long ass training nights, making money, being broke… There was just Jey, Uce! So Seth Rollins, we know you’re about game. Rollins has fought against Jey, fought with Jey, but now you’re fighting a starving individual ready to eat! It’s just Jey now. Jey proves to the whole world, to Rollins, to his family and himself why he IS Main Event Jey Uso! But will he become World Champion Jey Uso?

 

Backstage interview with Sami Zayn.

Jackie Redmond shows Sami being checked by medical staff, but then McIntyre attacks! McIntyre throws Sami into road cases, rains down fists, and says Sami can’t talk about McIntyre’s family! They’re nothing alike! NOTHING! Sami brought this upon himself! Then he STOMPS the bad ankle!! Producers rush in to get McIntyre to leave, but has McIntyre just sidelined Sami for the rest of 2023?

 

Raw returns as Sami is being reevaluated.

The medics check the leg, Jey hurries over to say it’ll be alright, Uce. Jey looks around for McIntyre, will Jey be able to focus on his main event after this just happened?

 

Backstage interview with Becky Lynch.

Byron is with The Man and asks about last week, her statement that… Oh, Nia walks in now. She tells “Barney” she has this. And Becky, she talked about some fights on the horizon. Does one include anyone in particular? Yes, Nia, it does. Nia would be number one because Becky had forgotten about her, as everyone had, but then Nia showed up on Becky’s interview and they never got to this. Becky still owes Nia a receipt. A receipt, huh? Well, once Nia squashes Shayna, she is all Becky’s. Becky can’t wait. The music hits, will we see a big time grudge match in the near future?

Shayna Baszler VS Nia Jax!

The bell rings and Nia runs in, but Shayna dodges to KICK and KICK! Nia blocks one, SLAPS Shayna, then TOSSES her! Shayna gest up in a corner, but Nia SPLASHES in the corner! Shayna flounders, Nia pushes her around and slaps her some more. Nia talks trash then TOSSES Shayna across the way! Nia runs back in, but Shayna dodges! Nia hits buckles, Shayna KNEES Nia down! Shayna then knuckle locks and twists that wrist, then goes up the corner for a HANGING ARMBAR! Nia endures, powers up, and POWERBOMBS Shayna down! Shayna gets out of the ring, Nia pursues, and fans rally up as Nia drags Shayna up.

Nia SMACKS Shayna off the desk, then SMACKS her off the apron! Nia brings Shayna around, fireman’s carries, but Shayna fights free! And she POSTS Nia! Shayna slides into the ring, then goes to the apron to PENALTY KICK the arm! Shayna isolates that arm, lets her hair down, and says Nia’s done! But Nia SWEEPS the legs! Shayna hits the apron, and Nia gets up to APRON LEG DROP! Fans boo as Shayna writhes and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Nia has Shayna in a neck wrench. Shayna endures, even as NIa leans on the hold. Fans rally, Shayna fights up, and she JAWBREAKERS free! Nia staggers, Shayna fires body shots and KICKS! Shayna ROCKS Nia into a corner, then runs, but Nia URENAGES Shayna down! Nia then drags Shayna up to POST her! Nia goes to the apron, lines up the shot, runs in and HIP ATTACKS against the post! Cover, TWO!! Shayna survives but Nia drags her up. Nia puts Shayna in a corner, throws body shots and slaps Shayna around, but Shayna fires off forearms! Shayna runs, but Nia scoops her! SIDEWALK SLAM!

Nia dribbles Shayna while taunting her, then she covers, TWO! Nia is frustrated but she drags Shayna up into a cobra clutch. Shayna endures, fans rally up, and Shayna throws elbows! Then kicks! And KICKS! And KICKS! Shayna runs, KICKS, then runs again. Another KICK but Nia still stays up! Shayna runs, dodges Nia, but Nia scoops to SAMOAN DROP! Shayna crawls to a corner, Nia runs in, but Shayna ducks and the hip attack hits buckles! Then Shayna hits a roll up into buckles! Shayna goes to the far corner, Nia crawls after her, but Shayna runs in to KNEE Nia down! Cover, TWO!! Nia survives and Shayna is frustrated.

Nia rises, Shayna KICKS! And KICKS! And KICKS, KICKS, KICKS! Fans fire up with each shot but Nia blocks one! Shayna gets free to BUZZSAW! Shayna runs, but Nia CLOBBERS her at the ropes! Nia pushes Shayna down, runs and SENTONS! Cover, TWO?!? Shayna survives and fans fire up! Nia is in disbelief, but she drags Shayna to a drop zone. Nia stomps Shayna, climbs up, but Shayna grabs a leg! ANKLE LOCK! Nia kicks Shayna away, but then Shayna returns, SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX!! Both women have a crash landing and fans fire up! Shayna drags herself up while Nia stirs, and the fans rally behind her!

Shayna stalks Nia, KIRAFUDA KLUTCH!! Nia endures but she has Shayna on her as a backpack! Fans fire up, but Nia stands up! Shayna drags her back down! Shayna rear mounts again, leans all her weight on the hold, but Nia fights back up! BACKPACK SENTON!! Both women are down again as Nia sputters and coughs. But then she gets mad, and she drags Shayna to the drop zone! Nia climbs, soaks up the heat, A-NIA-LATOR!! Cover, Nia wins!

Winner: Nia Jax, by pinfall

Shayna tried but she could not be the immovable object to the Irresistible Force. Nia crushes the Queen of Spades, but here comes Becky! Fans fire up but Nia backs down! This collision is coming, but will Becky be that big time roadblock to Nia?

 

DIY talks backstage.

Gargano & Ciampa know what they gotta do, but then in walk Candice & Indi. They’ll be cheering DIY on, ready for back to back wins, and then they all stand at attention because Imperium walks in. Oh, yes, good, show respect. Look at this lovely couple. Yes, a lovely couple of losers! Oh, ow, wow. But it’ll be embarrassing to get beat twice in one match. Hopefully Papa Gunther won’t be too mad after. The Way heads out, and Ludwig reminds Giovanni this is important. Don’t mess up out there. Oh, he’s got it. He hopes Ludwig does, too. The dysfunction between Impeccable German and the Pride of Italy is growing, will it be their downfall?

Best 2 Out of 3 Falls: #DIY VS Imperium!

Raw returns as Imperium makes their entrance. The teams sort out and Ciampa starts against Ludwig. The fans rally behind DIY as we start this first fall, and the two circle. Ciampa and Ludwig tie up, go around, and Ludwig puts Ciampa in a corner. The ref counts, Ludwig lets off slowly, but Ciampa avoids the cheap shot to ROCK and CHOP and repeat! Ciampa whips corner to corner, Ludwig reverses and runs in. He blocks a boot, “NEIN!” UPPERCUT! Ludwig stands over Ciampa, drags him up and bumps him off buckles. Ludwig ROCKS Ciampa, tags Vinci, and Vinci RAMS into Ciampa! Vinci then stays between Ciampa and Gargano to stomp Ciampa.

Vinci throws hands and UPPERCUTS, but Ciampa hits back! They brawl, Ciampa has the edge and whips, but Vinci ducks ‘n’ dodge to CROSSBODY! Fans boo but Vinci stomps Ciampa. Vinci KNEES Ciampa in the back, then he stomps Ciampa more. Vinci talks trash, stands Ciampa up and UPPERCUTS! Vinci CLUBS Ciampa in the back, tags Ludwig, and Imperium mugs Ciampa. Ludwig looms over Ciampa, then scrapes his soles off Ciampa’s face! Ludwig taunts Gargano, fans boo, but Ludwig smirks as he whips Ciampa. Ludwig ELBOWS Ciampa down, covers, TWO! Fans rally but Ludwig clamps onto Ciampa with a chinbar and armlock.

Ciampa fights up, fans rally harder as they go around and around, and Ciampa sends Ludwig into buckles! Fans fire up, Ciampa crawls, but Ludwig anchors the feet! Ciampa ENZIGURIS, but Ludwig still holds on! Ciampa fires forearms, Ludwig keeps him from Gargano to then dodge. But Ciampa dodges, hot tag to Gargano! Fans fire up as Gargano JUMP KICKS Ludwig, then schoolboy rolls and KICKS Vinci! Gargano rallies on Ludwig, whips him to ropes, but Ludwig reverses. Gargano ducks ‘n ‘dodges to tilt-o-whirl, LA MYSTICA! Fans fire up with Johnny Wrestling and he runs in at the corner, but Ludwig puts him on the apron!

Gargano GAMANGIRIS, then he avoids Vinci to SUPERKICK! SLINGSHOT SPEAR on Ludwig! Fans fire up again and Gargano tags Ciampa back in. DIY set up in corners, Ludwig sits up, but Vinci trips Gargano! Ludwig avoids the knee, rolls Ciampa with tights, Imperium scores!

DIY: 0; Imperium: 1

Fans boo as Imperium takes the crucial first fall! But while Vinci & Ludwig gloat, Gargano gets back up, CANNONBALL takes out Vinci! Ciampa PLANCHAS Ludwig down! DIY sits on the desk, and they pat themselves on the backs while applauding! Fans applaud and Raw goes to break.

 


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Mitchell’s NJPW World Tag League Results & Report! (12/4/23)

B Block, round 6!

Published

2 hours ago

on

December 4, 2023

By

Sure #EverybodyDies, but who will tranquilo?

The World Tag League round robin is almost over, and B Block is looking saucy! Will Lance Archer & Alex Zayne burn Yota Tsuji & Zandokan Jr?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • BUSHI & Shingo Takagi VS SHO & Yoshinobu Kanemaru; win.
  • Six Man Tag: Kaito Kiyomiya, Ryohei Oiwa & Oskar Leube VS The Gates of Agony & Boltin Oleg; win.
  • Six Man Tag: Toru Yano, Tomohiro Ishii & Tomoaki Honma VS The United Empire; win(s).
  • Six Man Tag: Shota Umino, Ren Narita & Ryusuke Taguchi VS The House of Torture; win(s).
  • Six Man Tag: TMDK VS Bullet Club; wins.
  • 2023 World Tag League, B Block: Taichi & Yuya Uemura VS Bad Luck Fale & Jack Bonza; Fale & Bonza win.
  • 2023 World Tag League, B Block: El Phantasmo & Hikuleo VS Atlantis Jr. & Soberano Jr; ELP & Leo win.
  • 2023 World Tag League, B Block: Bishamon VS Yuji Nagata & Minoru Suzuki; Bishamon wins.
  • 2023 World Tag League, B Block: Lance Archer & Alex Zayne VS Yota Tsuji & Zandokan Jr; Tsuji & Zando win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current B Block standings.

Alex Zayne & Lance Archer: 4-1, 8 points
Taichi & Yuya Uemura: 4-1, 8 points
ELP & Hikuleo: 3-2, 6 points
Bishamon: 2-2-1, 5 points
Atlantis Jr. y Soberano Jr: 2-2-1, 5 points
Yota Tsuji & Zandokan Jr: 2-3, 4 points
Yuji Nagata & Minoru Suzuki: 1-4, 2 points
Bad Luck Fale & Jack Bonza: 1-4, 2 points

 

2023 World Tag League, B Block: Taichi & Yuya Uemura VS Bad Luck Fale & Jack Bonza!

The Holy Emperor & Heat Storm are just outside the top after their loss to Monster Sauce, but that’s way better than being at the bottom like the Rogue Army. But can Fale & Bonza ruin things for Taichi & Yuya? Or will B Block belong to Just5Guys?

The teams sort out and Yuya starts against Bonza. The fans rally up as the bell rings and the two stare down. They circle, tie up, and Bonza wrenches to hammerlock then waistlock. Yuya switches to then hammerlock, but Bonza switches the hammerlock back. Yuya reaches back, sits down, rolls and wrenches to a wristlock. Bonza spins, breaks free and pie faces Yuya! Yuya keeps cool, and he resets with Bonza. They tie up, but Bonza kicks low! Bonza runs, runs Yuya over, and says he’s pathetic! Bonza runs, Yuya stays low to then hurdle, and then he hip tosses Bonza down! Yuya scoops and SLAMS Bonza, then arm-drags him!

Fans fire up as Yuya has the armlock, but Fale runs in to throw body shots and scoop! Yuya slips free, but Fale’s too big for an arm-drag! Fale scoops again, and SLAMS Yuya! Then Fale DECKS Taichi for the hell of it! Bonza stomps Yuya around, brings him up, and bumps him off buckles. Tag to Fale and the Rogue Army mugs Yuya. Fale brings Yuya around to CLUB him down, then looms over him. Fans rally but Fale stands on Yuya! Fale goes surfing on the Heat Storm! Fale steps off, covers, TWO! Fans cheer but Fale tags Bonza. Bonza storms up on Yuya, drags him around, and then he goes surfing!

Bonza lets off to then drop an elbow! And then springboard stomp! Yuya sputters, Bonza drags him back up but Taichi rallies the fans. Yuya CHOPS Bonza, ROCKS Fale, repeat! Bonza ROCKS Yuya! Bonza bumps Yuya off buckles, whips him corner to corner, then runs in to elbow! Bonza keeps moving, but Yuya DROPKICKS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Yuya crawls, hot tag to Taichi! Taichi storms up to Kawada Kick! Bonza says F U and ROCKS Taichi, but Taichi SOBATS back! Taichi tells Bonza off and BOOTS him in the corner! Fale runs in, but into a BOOT! Fale comes back, Taichi steps aside to GAMANGIRI!

Bonza kicks Taichi, whips him to a corner, but Taichi comes back to AX BOMBER! Fans fire up with Taichi, and OFF COME THE PANTS! Taichi then aims, but Bonza blocks the kick to ELBOW! Bonza whips, DISCUS LARIAT! Bonza fires up, he drags Taichi up, and he reels Taichi in to suplex! Taichi fights that off to suplex back! Bonza fights that off, they fight for suplex control, and fans rally up! In the end, Bonza gets Taichi up, but Taichi slips free! SAI- NO, Bonza fights with elbows! Bonza runs, into a RIDGE HAND! Taichi runs, but Bonza deflects the boot to hit a BIG back suplex! Tag to Fale and he storms up on Taichi.

Fale stomps Taichi, drags him up and CLUBS away on the back! Taichi falls over but Fale stalks him to the ropes. Fale drags Taichi up, but Taichi fights and wrenches to HOOK KICK! Fale runs up, into a clinch! Taichi is using sumo! Fale and Taichi hobble around, Fale tries to counter sumo with sumo! But Taichi still THROWS Fale!! Fans are thunderous and Taichi takes aim! BUZZSAW! Both men are down, fans rally up, hot tag to Yuya! Yuya roars, runs in and CHOPS Fale! Bonza runs in, but gets an arm-drag! And then a DROPKICK! Bonza bails out, Fale staggers up into a DROPKICK! He stays up, so Yuya DROPKICKS again!

Fale rebounds, into an ARM-DRAG!! The fans are thunderous and Yuya runs in at the corner. DOUBLE CHOP! Taichi adds a BOOT! Yuya runs in again, DROPKICK! Fale hobbles, Yuya pushes him out and goes up the corner! CROSSBODY! Down goes Fale! But Yuya isn’t done there! Yuya drags Fale up, wrenches and traps the arm, but Fale swings the other! Yuya catches it! But Fale’s too big for Kamuki! Fale TOSSES Yuya to a corner then SPLASHES! Fireman’s carry, but Yuya flails around! Sunset flip, but Fale stays up! So Taichi GAMANGIRIS him into it! High stack, TWO!! Fale escapes, but Yuya has an ARMBAR!!

Fans fire up as Fale endures! Fale fights around, but Yuya powers him down!! ARMBAR!! Fale flails and kicks around, reaches out, but Yuya shifts grip! Bonza sends Taichi into railing before he gets in, Fale has the ROPEBREAK! Bonza CLOBBERS Yuya for good measure! Fans fire up as Bonza BLASTS Taichi off the apron! Yuya CHOPS Bonza, CHOPS him again, and powers up, but Bonza dodges! Only for Yuya to catch the arms! But Bonza knees low! Yuya roars, but Bonza scoops him! BACKBREAKER to ELBOW DROP!! Cover, TAICHI BREAKS IT! Fans fire up but Bonza scoops Taichi! FIRE THUNDER DRIVER!!

Fale hoists Yuya up! Crucifix lift, for BAD LUCK FALL!!! Cover, Rogue Army wins!!

Winners: Bad Luke Fale & Jack Bonza, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Taichi & Yuya earn 0)

The Rogue General & Red Commander just brought down two of the five guys! Did they just blow up the chances of Taichi & Yuya going on to the semifinals? Or will luck be with J5G in the seventh?

 

2023 World Tag League, B Block: El Phantasmo & Hikuleo w/ Jado VS Atlantis Jr. & Soberano Jr!

The NJPW Strong Openweight Tag Team Champions take on the NWA World Historic Light Heavyweight Champion and a former World Middleweight Champion, but both teams are on the bubble in this block. Who pops off and who drops off right before the end?

ELP tries to get the fans cheering Soberano but it takes a second to warm them up. The fans fire up and the sons of lucha appreciate it. “AT-LAN-TIS!” and “SOBER-RA-NO!” then return the favor helping in a “HI-KU-LEO~!” chant. They all shake hands and high-five, and then the teams sort out. ELP starts against Soberano and fans rally up. The two wind up, and shake hands! Fans cheer and the two circle. They tie up, ELP headlocks, but Soberano powers up and out to then reel ELP back and run. ELP sidesteps, he avoids Soberano’s handspring, and fans cheer. Soberano flexes and fans cheer a little more.

ELP gives a mocking golf clap and then circles with Soberano again. Soberano headlocks, ELP throws body shots and powers out. Soberano runs ELP over, then things speed up. ELP hurdles but Soberano front flips! Fans fire up and Soberano looks off into the distance. Soberano then runs in, ELP dodges, Soberano RANAS but ELP handsprings through, then does his drop steps! Fans cheer as ELP flexes and kisses the biceps. ELP gives Soberano a push, Soberano pushes back. They start pushing a little harder, then things speed up again! Soberano ducks ‘n’ dodges and rolls off ELP’s back to then run and RANA!

ELP flounders out of the ring and Soberano builds speed! FOSBURY FLOP! Direct hit and fans fire up again! Soberano gets the fans rallying behind him then has the ref tranquilo. Soberano puts ELP in, then gets fans to actually chant for “PHAN-TAS-MO!” Soberano slides in, brings ELP around, and tags Atlantis. The luchadores mug ELP, and the fans still chant for “PHAN-TAS-MO!” but the luchadores double whip to DOUBLE ELBOW! Then wheelbarrow and ENZUGIRI FACEBUSTER COMBO! Cover, TWO! Atlantis keeps cool as he stomps ELP around. Atlantis drags ELP up, keeps him from Leo, and CLUBS away!

Atlantis suplexes but ELP blocks! ELP tries to suplex but Atlantis blocks! ELP RAMS Atlantis into the corner, CHOPS him, then tags Leo. ELP CHOPS again, then hushes the fans. Leo swings, Atlantis dodges to CHOP them in return! CHOP after CHOP then Atlantis runs, ducks ELP’s hurdle but ends up right in Leo’s DDT! Cover, TWO! Leo drags Atlantis up but Atlantis throws forearms and CHOPS! Leo CHOPS right back! Leo then fireman’s carries, but Atlantis fights free! Atlantis dodges the chop, tries to whip but Leo blocks and reverses! Leo runs in, Atlantis dodges and Leo’s boot gets stuck on the ropes! Atlantis dropkicks that leg!

Leo hobbles and Atlantis keeps moving, Atlantis dropkicks the legs out! Fans fire up as Atlantis stomps Leo’s leg, then SPLASHES down on a knee! Atlantis stomps the leg some more, but Jado & ELP coach Leo. Leo CHOPS Atlantis, but Atlantis stomps him down. Atlantis has the leg and works to turn Leo over! HALF CRAB! Leo endures and fans rally up! Leo fights his way over, ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Atlantis lets go at 4, and Leo clutches his knee. Atlantis eggs Leo on, Soberano tags in, and they both taunt Leo to go taunt ELP. Leo crawls over, but then the luchadores bring Leo away. “Chotto matte ne!”

Fans applaud as the Mexican luchadores know some Japanese. Then they get LEo’s hands, bend the fingers, and then Soberano BOOTS Leo down! ELP protests, the ref reprimands, but Soberano BITES Leo’s foot! Soberano keeps Leo from ropes with a chinlock, then he and Atlantis get Leo up again. They double whip Leo to a corner, Atlantis runs in but is put on the apron. Leo DECKS Atlantis, and he catches Soberano’s splash! Soberano BELL CLAPS then BOOTS Leo! Soberano taunts ELP by blowing a kiss, then he goes back for Leo. Atlantis returns, they double whip but Leo breaks the line to DOUBLE LARIAT!

Fans fire up and Leo crawls, hot tag to ELP! ELP grins as he runs up to BOOT Soberano! Mule kick for Atlantis! Atomic drop for Soberano! ELP mocks Soberano’s pain, then he atomic drops Atlantis, into a RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! ELP clotheslines Soberano up and out, but Atlantis kicks him low! Atlantis whips ELP to the corner but ELP goes up and over then springboards to CROSSBODY! Somersault, LIONSAULT! Another somersault, to PLANCHA Soberano! Fans fire up with ELP and he goes back to the corner. ELP waits on Atlantis to rise up, then he springboards in, FLYING TORNADO DDT!

Fans fire up and ELP drags Atlantis to a cover, TWO! Atlantis survives and the fans rally up again. ELP fires up and Soberano coaches Atlantis. ELP drags Atlantis up, reels him in, tucks the arms, but Atlantis fights! Atlantis ROCKS ELP, ELP ROCKS Atlantis, they go forearm for forearm! ELP whips, Atlantis reverses and Soberano jumps in! Double hip toss into TU LO SABE! Cover, TWO! ELP survives and that surprises Atlantis. The fans rally, Soberano stalks ELP to a corner and eggs him on. ELP slaps Soberano, Soberano SLAPS ELP! Atlantis BOOTS Leo, ELP throws hands on Soberano, but Atlantis kicks ELP low.

Atlantis puts ELP up top, Soberano GAMANGIRIS! Then the sons of lucha vow to end this! They both climb up after ELP, CLUB away on him, and bring him up. But Leo gets in, TOWER OF DOOM!! Fans fire up for the double powerbomb double superplex combo! Leo drags Soberano up to POWERBOMB onto Atlantis! Fans fire up again as Leo helps ELP up! Leo scoops, but Atlantis slips free to shove Leo into ELP! Then Atlantis dodges Leo to SUPERKICK ELP! And DROPKICK Leo! Leo runs back in but Atlantis dumps him out! ELP runs in but Atlantis goes up and over, rolls and SPIN POWERSLAMS!

Fans fire up as Atlantis goes up a corner! But ELP hurries to GAMANGIRI! Soberano sneaks a tag! ELP goes up to the very top, brings Atlantis up with him, SUPER STEINER! ELP goes up but Soberano is there! He springboards up to SUPER SPANISH FLY!! Fans are thunderous with everyone down, and Soberano crawls to a cover! Leo breaks it! Fans fire up again and Atlantis regroups with Soberano. Leo UPPERCUTS Atlantis, choke grips each of them, meeting of the minds! But then the luchadores double basement dropkick the legs out! Fans rally for Leo but Soberano & Atlantis have him! DOUBLE-

NO, Leo fights the suplexes to UPPERCUT Soberano! Atlantis dodges the haymaker but not the BOOT! Leo aims at Soberano now, choke grip! GOD- FLIP! Soberano ENZIGURIS! Leo roars! Soberano SUPERKICKS! ELP SUDDEN DEATH!! Fans fire up with ELP and he DIVES to take out Atlantis! Leo hits GODSEND!! ELP returns, he goes up, SUPER THUNDERKISS 86!!! Cover, ELP & Leo win!

Winners: El Phantasmo & Hikuleo, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Atlantis & Soberano earn 0)

The sons of lucha are eclipsed by the Guerrillas of Destiny! Will the “Big Blue Sexy Boys” still have a fighting chance of entering the semifinals?

 

2023 World Tag League, B Block: Bishamon VS Yuji Nagata & Minoru Suzuki!

Hirooki Goto & Yoshi-Hashi vow to break the curse that keeps IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions from winning the league! Will they pull it off? Or will Blue Justice & The Meanest Man in the World not only stop Bishamon, but get golden tickets at the same time?

The teams sort out and Suzuki stares Hashi down. Fans rally up and the two start. They circle, feel things out, and knuckle lock. But then Suzuki kicks one, wrenches the other to a hammerlock, but Hashi switches the hold onto Suzuki. Suzuki reaches back to cording hold and chinbar Hashi to ropes. The ref counts and Suzuki lets off slowly, then with strong pats on the shoulder. Fans cheer and Hashi keeps cool as the two reset. They step up, and Hashi fires a forearm! Suzuki fires back! They go back and forth and the fans rally as they pick up speed! Suzuki ROCKS Hashi, ROCKS him again, but Hashi comes back to CHOP!

Suzuki eggs Hashi on so Hashi CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! Hashi CHOPS more and more but Suzuki stays standing on sheer anger! Hashi drags Suzuki over, tags Goto, and Bishamon double whip to then double shoulder tackle! Hashi BLASTS Nagata for good measure, then Goto stomps Suzuki. Goto drags Suzuki up, CLUBS him, then whips. Suzuki reverses to then headlock, but Goto powers out. Suzuki pulls hair to HEADBUTT! Suzuki CLUBS Goto down and Goto bails out! Nagata runs in to BLAST Hashi as payback, and then the murder grandpas go out after them! Suzuki whips Goto into railing, then brings him around while Nagata sends Hashi hard into railing!

Suzuki RAMS Goto into railing in front of commentary, then has a railing crossface! The ref reprimands, Suzuki lets off of Goto, but Nagata POSTS Hashi! Suzuki stomps Goto around, the ring count starts, and Suzuki stomps Goto again before sliding in. The count reaches 7 of 20, then 10 as Goto crawls. Goto clutches his neck, the count is 15! Goto stands at 17, and slides in at 19! Fans cheer but Suzuki clamps onto Goto with a camel clutch! Goto endures, Suzuki shifts to bring him up for a facelock. Nagata tags in and he CLUBS Goto on the neck! And CLUBS him again! Nagata wraps on a chinlock to grind Goto down!

Hashi coaches Goto as he fights around, and Goto gets the ROPEBREAK! Nagata lets go, to KICK Goto in the back! Nata then drags Goto up with a facelock and tags Suzuki. Suzuki snapmares Goto to KICK him! And then Suzuki pulls at the tape around the neck and shoulders! The ref reprimands but there’s nothing he can really do! Suzuki reels Goto in but Goto resists the Gotch lift! Suzuki powers up but Goto still fights. Suzuki CLUBS Goto, tags Nagata, and Nagata BOOTS Hashi down! Nagata KICKS Goto in the chest, then KICKS him again! Goto grits his teeth, Nagata eggs him on, but Goto blocks the next kick!

Goto CLUBS the leg, but Nagata ROCKS Goto with a forearm! Nagata whips, Goto reverses, but Nagata BOOTS back! Nagata runs, Goto follows to LARIAT! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Goto and Nagata crawl, hot tag to Hashi! Hashi runs to run Nagata over! Hashi BLASTS Suzuki off the apron and fans fire up as Hashi ROCKS, body shots and CHOPS! Then he fires off forearms over and over in the corner! Nagata sits down and Hashi keeps going! The ref reprimands, the fans fire up, and Hashi lets off to bring Nagata back up. Nagata shoves Hashi so Hashi eggs him on. The forearms go back and forth now!

Hashi gets the edge with forearms, then CHOPS Nagata back to the corner. Hashi whips corner to corner, Nagata reverses, but Hashi comes back to LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally again and Hashi fires up. Hashi reels Nagata in, suplexes, but Nagata fights it to suplex, and MAGIC SCREW! Hashi flounders, Nagata stands, and Nagata stomps Hashi. Nagata ROCKS Hashi, whips him to ropes, but Hashi holds ropes. Goto tags in, Hashi sidesteps Nagata and Goto ROCKS him! Hashi CHOPS Nagata down, then he BLASTS Suzuki. Hashi hauls Nagata up, turns him, and Goto adds on, HEAD BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Nagata hangs in there.

Bishamon set up in opposite corners, and they aim at Nagata. But Suzuki pushes Nagata to save him from the DOUBLE LARIAT SANDWICH! Hashi CHOPS, Goto CLUBS and then GOTO GO TO HUNTER! Bishamon have Nagata in a corner, Goto clotheslines! Hashi clotheslines! Feed to the fireman’s carry, FIERCE FLASH! Cover, TWO! Nagata survives and fans rally up again! Goto hauls Nagata up, Hashi calls the shot! Dragon sleeper and leg lift, but Suzuki catches Hashi to a SLEEPER! Nagata drags Goto down into a CROSSFACE! Goto endures, Hashi is turning red! Fans rally up as Goto fights his way around!

Goto reaches out, ROPEBREAK! Fans cheer, and Suzuki sends Goto to a corner! Suzuki BOOTS! Nagata BOOTS! Snapmare, DOUBLE PENALTY KICK SANDWICH! Then EXPLODER!! Cover, TWO!! Goto survives and fans fire up again! Nagata drags Goto up, but Goto fights the saido with elbows! Nagata knees low, and again, then CLUBS Goto’s neck! Goto falls and writhes, but Nagata drags him back up! Suzuki keeps Hashi out with an ANKLE LOCK, as Nagata SAI- NO, Goto fights free! Hashi also gets free, to SUPERKICK Nagata! Goto has a SLEEPER, then rolls it to GOTO NISHIKI!! Cover, Bishamon wins!!

Winners: Bishamon, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Nagata & Suzuki earn 0)

The murder grandpas almost had it, but Goto finds a way to survive! Does this mean the Fierce Warrior & Headhunter have a chance to #GetBackUp to the WTL finals after all?

 

2023 World Tag League, B Block: Lance Archer & Alex Zayne VS Yota Tsuji & Zandokan Jr!

The Monster Sauce is leading the way but they have to finish strong! Will they stay hot going into the seventh and final round? Or will they be sunk by The Gene Blast & King of the World?

Wait, Tetsuya Naito is coming out here? What a great surprise! It sure takes Shingo Takagi by surprise as he’s been on commentary this entire time. Naito joins commentary, even! And he puts his feet up on top of Milano Collection AT’s notes. He makes Milano hold the Right to Challenge bag while he puts his headset on. Monster Sauce then makes their entrance, and Archer suckers a Young Lion in by offering a high-five to then DECK him! He pats another on the shoulder, assuring him it’s fine. Then he RAMS him into railing! Zayne apologizes to each Young Lion in turn, it’s nothing personal. Archer and Zayne then have Red Shoes and Abe-san put on the jackets to see how they look.

Zando and Tsuji make their entrances, the teams sort out, and Archer says that smile of Tsuji’s is gonna be missing some teeth soon. However, Zayne and Zando step up to start and the fans rally up with the bell. They circle, tie up, and Zando powers Zayne to ropes. Zando lets off, fakes the chop, and tells Zayne to take it easy. Zayne and Zando reset and fans rally again. They tie up, Zayne puts Zando on ropes now, and Zayne fakes the chop to twirl his hair. Fans cheer and Zando smirks. The two reset again, tie up again, and Zando headlocks. Zayne wrenches out, but Zando wrenches back to wristlock.

Zayne rolls, handsprings, wrenches and wristlocks, but Zando spins, CHOPS, and whips Zayne to a corner. Zayne reverses, runs in and back elbows! Zayne slips out to the apron and slingshot RANAS! Things keep moving, Zayne ducks ‘n’ dodges and IMPLODER KNEE DROPS down on Zando’s dropdown! Zayne then rolls to STANDING MARIPOSA! Fans fire up and Zayne smirks as he twirls his hair again. Zayne stands Zando up, Zando throws hands but Zayne bobs ‘n’ weaves to body blow! Zayne runs, but Tsuji kicks him! Zayne swings on Tsuji, but Zando reels him in, chicken wings and DODON DROP!

Archer runs in to kick Zando low! Archer reels Zando in to CLUB him, then he runs. Tsuji trips Archer, Zando basement dropkicks! Tsuji then drags Archer out to RAM him into railing! Fans fire up with Zando, and Tsuji sends Archer into more railing! Zando TOSSES Zayne out of the ring, Tsuji fires off on Archer, then CHOPS him! Tsuji holds Archer out along railing, Zando runs in, LEAP FROG ATTACK! Fans fire up while Archer falls over! Tsuji finds Zayne and stomps him, to then put him in the ring for Zando. Zando storms up, drags Zayne up and has him on ropes. Zando lifts Zayne up and Tsuji runs, to LEAP FROG ATTACK!

Zayne flops over, fans rally up, and Zando tags Tsuji. Zando & Tsuij drag Zayne up to double whip. Archer returns, Red Shoes keeps him back, Zayne ends up in the POP-UP KICK! Zando & Tsuji run, basement dropkick sandwich! Fans cheer but Red Shoes reprimands. Zando exits, Tsuji digs his knees into Zayne at the ropes before a knee drop! Tsuji drags Zayne up while Archer and Zando shout at each other. Tsuji whips Zayne but reverses direction to send him into the red corner! Tsuji stomps Zayne, Zando CLUBS him, and then Zando tags in. Zando snapmares Zayne to a seated abdominal stretch! Zayne endures and the fans rally up.

Zayne reaches out, but then reaches up to drag Zando into a cradle! TWO, and Zando stomps away! Zando hits Archer, then laughs as he gets away. Zando drags Zayne back, CLUBS him, then grabs a leg. Zando steps over, then clinches, modified cobra twist! Zayne endures, hops on his one free leg, and fans rally up! Zayne reaches out, hot tag- NO, Tsuji drags Archer down and RAMS him into railing right in front of commentary! Zando wrangles Zayne to a cover, TWO! Fans cheer and Zando drags Zayne up. Zando wrenches, wristlocks, then he tags Tsuji. Tsuji BOOTS Zayne’s arm, then brings him around to ROCK with a forearm!

Fans rally up, Zayne ROCKS Tsuji back! And CHOPS! And ROCKS him again! Tsuji knees low, then wags his finger. Tsuji swings, Zayne counter punches! And again! Tsuji runs in, Zayne gets around, roll up and EDDY GORDO KICK! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Tsuji and Zayne crawl, hot tag to Archer! Archer storms around, fires up, and BLASTS Zando! It was a fake out at first, but now he runs to ELBOW Tsuji! “Ichi!” Archer keeps moving, and ELBOWS! “Ni!” Zayne runs in, tilt-o-whirl RANA CANNONBALL! But Zando SUPERKICKS Zayne! Archer CHOPS Zando but Zando just fires up!

Zando CHOPS Archer, and Archer just smiles! Archer CHOPS back! Archer eggs Zando on so Zando CHOPS! Archer CHOPS, eggs Zando on, and fans fire up as Zando CHOPS again! They CHOP back and forth, faster and faster! Archer CHOPS Zando down! Fans fire up with the Murderhawk and he storms up. Zando swings, but into a full nelson that Archer makes into a dragon sleeper. Tsuji runs in, but gets caught! URENAGE REVERSE DDT COMBO! Archer then drags Tsuji up, shoves him to a corner, and DOUBLE CHOPS! Zayne then LEAP FROG MISSILE DROPKICKS! Archer suplexes Tsuji! Then CHOKE SLAM SAULT! Cover, TWO!!

Tsuji survives and fans fire up but Archer fires himself back up. Tag to Zayne, he goes up, but Zando GAMANGIRIS! Archer grabs Zando, but Tsuji DUMPS Archer! Tsuji then rushes the corner, but Zayne jumps and over! Zayne comes back but Tsuji BOOTS him! Tsuji goes up, but Zayne returns, NO HANDS STEINER! Fans fire up as Zando hurries in. Zayne dodges the chop but Zando blocks the chip to CHOP after all! Zando suplexes, Zayne slips free to shove, but Zando blocks the kick! Zando ducks the enziguri, wheelbarrow GERMAN SUPLEX! Archer BOOTS Zando, ripcords, and HELLICOASTERS! Fans fire up with Archer again!

Archer hauls Zando back up, reels him in, but Tsuji saves Zando from the suplex! Tsuji & Zando mug Archer, then go to double suplex! Archer fights it, he wants to double suplex, but they fight it! Zando & Tsuji try again, DOUBLE SUPLEX! All four men are down and the fans fire up again! Zando stirs, flounders out of the ring, and Tsuji rises. Tsuji tags Zando in, they get Zayne up. They double whip, hip toss and SLAM! Then SPLASH, to LIONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Zayne hangs in there and Zando pounds the mat in frustration. The fans clap along, Tsuji & Zando get Zayne up, ANCHOR!! Cover, TWO!! Zayne survives and fans fire up again!

Zando pounds the mat some more and the fans clap along again. Tag to Tsuji, and he climbs up onto Zando’s shoulders! But Archer caches Tsuji, to CHOKE SLAM him into Zando! Then Archer fireman’s carries, Zayne runs in, ROLLING NECKBREAKER SAMOAN DROP COMBO!! Cover, Zando breaks it! Fans fire up, Archer runs in, but he doesn’t fall for the dump trick. Archer CLOBBERS Zando against ropes, then clotheslines him up and out of the ring! Fans fire up with Archer again and Zayne pounds the mat. Archer hauls Tsuji up, sets him up for Zayne, ROLLING- NO, Tsuji avoids the ax kick! Then he dodges Archer, and now Zando dumps him out!

Zayne mule kicks Tsuji, runs, but into the GENE BLAST SPEAR!!! Cover, LIJ WINS!!

Winners: Yota Tsuji & Zandokan Jr, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Archer & Zayne earn 0)

Monster Sauce drops, making the top of this block really interesting! If #EverybodyDies, are their chances at the finals in danger of dying off?

As for Tsuji & Zando, Tsuji gets the mic to say, “It looks like it’s someone’s birthday today.” It’s also someone in Los Ingobernables de Japon. “HIROMU-CHAN!” Oh wait, is he even here? Well, maybe Hiromu was too busy to be here, but Tsuji hopes tonight’s win is a good birthday gift. Fans applaud that, but then Tsuji says he also has some bad news. It would seem after tonight’s penultimate-penultimate results, there mathematically isn’t a chance for Tsuji & Zando to make it to the semifinals. He asks if that’s true or not. Even commentary has to check the math on that. So then, is there a chance?

Milano is sure it’s not zero percent. Really? Pretty sure. Then there IS a chance! The fans cheer and Tsuji says that even if it seems unlikely, should they win next round, Zandokan will be LIJ! Fans cheer for that, too! Tsuji then brings up that the other day, he talked with the others and hoped Takagi & Naito wouldn’t lose today. Takagi stands up from commentary to say that he does need to get better. Well, hey, tranquilo, right? Tsuji then lets Zando say a few words. “WATASHI WA…! ZANDOKAN JUNIOR!” AKA, he is Zandokan. Fans cheer the introduction, and then he says he’s a BIG DEAL! Fans also cheer that.

Zando then shouts in Spanish, Milano asks for a translation, but Tsuji asks if they’re ready for the tournament’s home stretch. Are you ready for him and Zando to do this? VAMOS, AMIGOS!! Fans cheer, but will Gene Blast & The King of The World really make it to the end?

 

Here are the NEW B Block standings!

Alex Zayne & Lance Archer: 4-2, 8 points
ELP & Hikuleo: 4-2, 8 points
Taichi & Yuya Uemura: 4-2, 8 points
Bishamon: 3-2-1, 7 points
Yota Tsuji & Zandokan Jr: 3-3, 6 points
Atlantis Jr. y Soberano Jr: 2-3-1, 5 points [ELIMINATED]
Bad Luck Fale & Jack Bonza: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
Yuji Nagata & Minoru Suzuki: 1-5, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

My Thoughts:

A great round, and now with some really complex stuff at the top of the block. Monster Sauce lost to go down to 4-2 so that they’d be tied with ELP & Leo and with Taichi & Yuya. Monster Sauce VS ELP & Leo is next, and so one team will go to 5-2 with 10 points, the other will be 4-3 with 8. This scenario alone seems to be creating confusion because while commentary was not prepared to speak on who is still in this, NJPW’s official website has determined Tsuji & Zando are out despite that great main event win. Even if Tsuji & Zando beat Atlantis & Soberano next round, they’ll get to 8 points, BUT they lost to Taichi & Yuya.

And even if Taichi & Yuya lose, they’d be losing to Bishamon, who would then stand at 9 points, making THEM second place flat out. And if Taichi & Yuya win, they are in as second place, not Bishamon. So despite the moment of cheers and hope at the end of that main event, Tsuji & Zando are really just fighting for pride and apparently for Zando to become Sanada’s replacement so that LIJ maintains six members. That’d be cool stuff, but I wonder if Atlantis & Soberano being CMLL like Zando is CMLL comes into play…

My Score: 8.8/10


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