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CheapShots: Thoughts From Christi (WWE Smackdown)
“Mad Man” Mike is back with his irreverent analysis on this week’s edition of WWE Smackdown Live as the Road to Money In The Bank continues!
As I grab the day-tripper and make the quick jaunt over to Corpus Christi, I can’t help but wonder how The Patriarch and his boys would feel about the current show that is World Wrestling Entertainment? World Class ran spot shows here for the majority of two decades before Fritz’s kids were in the creative picture. Passion for fans around Dallas wasn’t cranked up to eleven yet, but the myths around the art form were still protected with cloak and dagger. Having never set foot in Texas, I can still verify the vibrations of old-school fans who were there. Newer fans worldwide react more to the show than they do to performers in it.
There is a two-sided coin present as SmackDown Live opens this week. Yes, the ladies get the prime chute spot on the card. Unfortunately, Vince McMahon’s lapse in judgement was on display as we had to stomach Carmella’s justification for having SmackDown Women’s Gold, and her circular logic that she will defeat Asuka at Money in The Bank. Ten minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Blondie Circus, I could’ve have saved you the trouble of reciting a script. Two reasons you’ll win in Chicago: Hormones and a calendar. Neither of which have anything to do with ability. Relax honey, you’re not losing until SummerSlam or Survivor Series. Go backstage, call your parents and thank them for good genetics. After that, try to cut a promo yourself.
Early and plentiful recess for this episode, yay! Vince’s perfect Champion did commentary on a handicap match between Asuka and the remnants of Absolution. Blondie Circus antagonized The Japanese Ace into taking the match with help from Rose & Deville on the ramp. Our GM Paige came out to ask Carmella’s next challenger who she wanted to face Tuesday Night. Her response: “Give me both!” The match was physical and solid. The tandem had the advantage early. Asuka did her best to keep separation between partners, as well as in the ring. Though, she had to deal with Carmella distracting her from outside. None of it mattered. The Rising Sun Mystic got a clean win when she put Deville in The Asuka Lock. Vince’s Champ got the last word because she jumped Asuka when the defeated duo wouldn’t leave ringside, YAWN!
Don’t worry, ladies trying to move the art form forward were also present Tuesday. The second dose of the better chromosome was administered as half of a mixed tag match. Jimmy Uso & Naomi took on Lana & Aiden English. Most fans are confused when reacting to Lana. Stanford continues to stunt her and Rusev on purpose. She is getting better in the ring. Though her interactions remain short. There was no way the heels were winning this. English is a perfect mouthpiece. But he doesn’t have the skills to carry her. The married couple went over and most of us continue to wonder why the other one is kept apart on camera.
Last lap around the playground was a contest between Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch. The skills of both of these ladies haven’t been questioned since their time in NXT. They did nothing to disappoint here. This was a WRESTLING MATCH! Granted, there were a couple fun spots. Including one where each girl caught her opponent’s leg. Rather than taking double kicks, both just put the other’s leg down because they are friends for now. Charlotte had the edge late. She went for a Moonsault but got knees in the midsection from Becky instead. Second Nature’s instinct was still strong enough to attempt a Figure Eight. The close was fun. Never seen a counter like this. The Lass Kicker took control of Charlotte’s arm on the step-through, took her to the mat, and slapped The DisarmHer on for the victory. This may have been Charlotte’s first clean television loss since tapping out to Lady Banks in mid-August.
Sadly, recess is over. Here we go. Gallows & Anderson are next in line for a shot at SmackDown Tag Team Gold. If we flashback we can see that they are getting The Uso treatment minus the distraction. Anderson had a singles match with Harper of The Bludgeon Brothers. The big man was dominant, though he took a schoolboy and the loss. Guessing they will put on the opposite contest next week. Calling it now. If they flip the coin, Gallows & Anderson get The Gold. If they don’t. the Champs will keep it. I just hope it’s a decent offering in Chicago.
We then had a solid contract signing backstage making the Last Man Standing Match pitting AJ Styles against Shinsuke Nakamura official. For once the baby face took over one of these. After signing, Styles told his opponent to stop playing games. “You can’t beat me without the low blows…You speak English…” Naturally, Nakamura didn’t listen. Magically, the pen Styles just used lost ink in the transfer. The next one was broken and The Con Artist threw the the third at The Champ. Styles had to be escorted away in anger after slapping Shinsuke. The; and only then, did he sign the contract. “Last Man Standing.”
Earlier in the night, The New Day went into Mike’s locker room to troll him because why not? They said that he could choose which representative would partake in the men’s namesake match in two weeks. All he had to do was pick a name out of a hat. Too bad for Mike, he was busy talking and didn’t see The Unicorns switching out the hats. When Mike stuck his hand in to do the honors, he got pancake batter instead of paper! Other than his wife, who doesn’t love screwing with The Miz? PS: We still don’t know who will carry the banner for The New Day in Chicago.
As for the six-man tag featuring all possible combinations of the SmackDown contingent for The Men’s Namesake Match: It was a typical coin flip, though the heels got more offense in than expected. A late tag to Kofi Kingston opened the door for baby face high spots until Kingston was blind-sided. At this point, The New Day were all incapacitated outside the ring. However, Kofi was still legal. When he was being put back in the ring, Mike went to get pancakes to throw at him because wrestling. What happens now? Kofi is being held up by Rusev and Samoa Joe. He moves so Mike’s partners take breakfast in the face! Surprise, they’re both pissed. Rusev kicks him and Joe gives him a senton. The Miz is left alone to take the loss.
SmackDown is clearly the more consistent brand right now. This was a more scattered show than usual. I felt like the designated driver at a bachelor party. I remember most of it and it was still solid. Changing planes again. Headed to Call The Hogs! Woooo PIG SUEY, RAZORBACKS!
Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Nefarious Means
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Cheap Shots
MadMan: She’s Handing Out Blues Better Than A Namesake Will
Madman decided to follow his blue dragon back towards the titans! Let’s see what black magic he weaves in this edition.
Madman decided to follow his blue dragon back towards the titans! Let’s see what black magic he weaves in this edition.
I may not be in regular rotation, but when they give me a chair, I swing for my fences. As a decades-long consumer of the art, I don’t have many left. The only Home Runs WWE has placed within my scope, can be found in Women’s Division on both Monday Night Raw & SmackDown Live.
The year I began watching wrestling, some very interesting circumstances took place surrounding cable television. WTBS; (Atlanta), WAS the home of The NWA’s Jim Crockett Promotions. At least until “Black Saturday,” which ultimately saw Vinnie Jr. Hijack the famous 6:05 time slot. This nearly cause riots among cable viewers opposed to McMahon’s product and presentation.
Though the million dollar ransom The Crocketts paid to get their flagship spot back on the dial gave the head of Titan Sports the backbone to finance WrestleMania, which helped to wreck most of the territories. Hell, it can be argued somewhat convincingly upon its 30th Anniversary, Vince himself ruined his biggest display’s pristine intentions for two consecutive years with Lesnar beating the streak instead of Bray Wyatt; and, Sting losing his ONLY Mania match because someone else had the right bride on their marriage license.
Despite the objections of both smarks and sheep in certain cases, we must respect the history of this pop culture institution. IF WrestleMania is Woodstock, it is only appropriate that Tito Santana opened the show with a victory!
In recent years, there has been only one person on The Main Roster who has matched the swag of Santana’s initial accomplishment without even trying, and she wrestled in the last Mania Match I cared about. Finally got tired of giving fans The Blues. She’s ready to deal some out in the form of steel chairs and God knows what else.
“Cut Her talent LOOSE!” We kept screaming. “A REAL run with Gold, PLEASE?” Like a kid aching just before Christmas. As with Solis, she was a true pro, until the strangest thing I’ve ever seen in the modern art form washed over us.
Fans and insiders alike FORGOT about Social Media! Don’t get me wrong, it’s still here. Can’t get away from it. Hell, I’m doing a roll-in on the internet right now! If you’ve been fans of us long enough, you’ll realize that last sentence was not a botch! Seriously, this thing felt like the territories back in the day. No one knew a damn thing! Even some of those paid to know were flipping a coin every five minutes. Thanks for the constant stress, you ancient prick!
Come on folks. If you know my current wrestling HEART at all, you KNEW the last Chair Shot on her return was coming from her Super Mark in Middle America! When older dudes at this circus describe what true fandom is like; they’ll often say: “That’s bulls***, that’s bulls***, that’s bulls***, BUT THAT’S REAL!”
For her boatloads of fans and the woman herself, Christmas is here! The Stamford’s latest Blues enthusiast is very real, And WWE’s Black Magic Woman IS BACK! Line ’em up. they’re all falling. Charlotte & Ronda too. To The Man and those in charge of her Twitter Account, thanks for keeping the possibility top of mind when things first got weird. We never gave up, but you will! MISSED YOU LADY BANKS!
Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Nefarious Means
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Ronda Rousey dominates headlines on the Road To WrestlMania, making her the perfect example for Rob to use for Wrestling Newz!
This is a continuation of what I started on last week in regards to wrestling media. You might want to, in fact you should, go check that out first. But instead of just hitting the media at large it’s time to drill down a bit and see how some of this stuff takes shape. These stories don’t get clicked on and believed by so many people just out of whole cloth, they take weeks and months and sometimes years of narratives being laid down first in order to make the premise believable in the first place.
Remember, the three rules for publishing NEWZ stories:
- It’s plausible (translation: circumstances exist that make it possible, and it confirms an existing opinion)
- Can you walk it back easy if it ends up false (‘plans changed’)
- Will people click on it? (if #1 is a yes, and the names are big enough then this is a yes, too)
A quick example that I mentioned previously was the ‘Lacey Evans getting a top level push after Ronda Rousey leaves’ story. The story itself ended up just being Meltzer giving his opinion and not even leaked info from a source, but it relied on a long standing narrative about the WWE creative team, particularly Vince’s preferences. Lacey is blond, and it’s been a long held belief that Vince loves his blond women so there you go (that’s not false, but there are some layers and nuances to it that we never get into). Also, the way Lacey portrays her character (super conservative and a throwback to the Mad Men era) on social media irritates a lot of so called smart fans, which supposedly is something Vince loves doing. That’s it. Seriously, the plausibility of the story all lies in Lacey being blond, evoking thoughts of every blond woman Vince has pushed from Trish Stratus to Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss, and because she pisses off a section of Wrestling Twitter so Vince might do it just to get to us. There is literally no other there there.
Now not all NEWZ stories end up false but even when they’re true the intent wasn’t to inform you, it was to get you to click on the link and share it (Hate shares count as much for the click numbers as love shares, btw. Don’t help people whose work you hate by sharing it.)
Which brings us to the real subject of this piece: Ronda Rousey’s speculated departure from WWE after WrestleMania. It has become almost gospel truth that Ronda is gone after the biggest show of the year, maybe for good, because she wants to start a family (and now also because she can’t hack it in the world of wrestling). Meltzer has weighed in and there are multiple pieces that simply copied and pasted or transcribed his words along with dubious headlines. Now before you say ‘yeah, she is leaving’ ask yourself where you got the idea from. Was it from someone stating it as fact, just giving their opinion, or one of those ‘WWE is preparing for the possibility that Ronda might leave’ stories? And how did so many of us end up thinking so quickly and strongly that come the Monday after WrestleMania 35 she’s outta here? The story was built on a few blocks and because a big house of confirmation bias. Here they are:
Ronda Rousey is an outsider who doesn’t really want to be here anyway
This essentially comes from Ronda being an MMA legend, which invokes bad thoughts of Brock Lesnar his big paycheck/small schedule agreement. That’s it. Ronda left MMA after losing and didn’t do much afterwards, and she’s made a ton of money already, so this clearly has to just be a big score…..right? She didn’t toil in the indies, didn’t even do a stint in NXT, and since she wasn’t willing to pay her dues (that sound you just heard was me throwing up) it’s obvious that she doesn’t really care for it………sure, buddy, whatever you think. Nevermind all the evidence we’ve seen to the contrary.
Rebecca Quin, I don’t care what the script says, I’m beating the living shit out of you the next time I see you.
— Ronda Rousey (@RondaRousey) February 28, 2019
Ronda Rousey can’t handle the road
A video clip surfaced a few months back of Ronda lamenting life on the road in the WWE. Now it probably isn’t much different from what many newbies and veterans of the business have said to their families but hey, let’s take this out for a ride because it supports point number one.
Ronda Rousey is losing at WrestleMania
We got no proof of this but we do know that the original plan was for her to face Charlotte one on one (with Charlotte probably winning), we know that Becky Lynch has become the hot act over the last six months, and we know that Ronda hasn’t lost yet so WrestleMania seems like the right time to do it. That’s it. I explained my rationale for each woman winning that match here, and in my opinion there’s plenty of logic for Ronda winning. But so far a lot of us have assumed she isn’t because she just has to lose here, right? Which leads to the next brick:
Ronda Rousey can’t take losing
She didn’t handle losing well in MMA, so she obviously isn’t going to like losing in WWE and she’ll want to take her ball and go home. There is no evidence to back this up but it sure sounds good.
Ronda Rousey is freaking out because of the crowd noise and the Tweeting from Becky
Ronda isn’t great at promos, the crowds are booing her more now because she’s facing Becky, and she’s fired off some far out responses to Becky’s twitter jabs that suggest maybe the ribbing is getting to her. So she must clearly be having some kind of emotional meltdown that is souring her on the world of pro wrestling. Again we have don’t have any confirmed facts as to her true emotional state (for all we know it’s a work that’s gone a little off the rails) but it sure feels good to type that she just can’t handle the banter.
Now we have the proverbial feedback loop. We think Ronda doesn’t love the business, she hates the road, she wants to start a family, we just know she’s losing at WrestleMania, she doesn’t handle losing well at all, and now she can’t handle the ribbing. Each one of these things feeds into the others, and if you were a Ronda skeptic from day one or you just don’t like her for other reasons then each one of these things is very easy to believe individually, as it’s consequently very easy to put them together into one big ball of what is sure to happen. Remember always that the way NEWZ works, be it in wrestling media, other forms of entertainment, and even politics is that they bait you with things you want to be true based on what you already have come to believe. If you believe wrestler X is a jerk then everything that backs it up is believable no matter how flimsy the evidence. Here we have a bunch of ‘truths’ based on little real information that feed into what a lot of people already thought, and now we have one big ‘truth’ that we just know to be true.
Of course if Ronda wins at WrestleMania, loses some time later, and sticks around for the rest of her contract then the vaunted wrestling media can just give us the tried and true explanation for everything that doesn’t pan out the way they led us to think it would:
Plans changed.
Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Nefarious Means
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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